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wayward-pixie · 28 days ago

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Cursing Me With Violet Smiles

Shadow is haunted by his feelings for Vio – and by the fact that Vio never felt the same way. He couldn't have, after how he betrayed Shadow, right? [A retelling of the end of Shadow’s canon story, with a bit added after. Inspired by (and written to) the song “Like a Curse” by Confrontational.]

Warnings: Major Character Death (kind of. twice.); Passing Out/Losing Consciousness; (lemme know if i missed anything pls)

(A/N: So, this is pretty much the first creative thing I've written in almost 8 years, so uh. Its probably a bit janky. Also, if anyone wants to accuse me of using AI for this: Go Fuck Yourself. I spent the last 3 days forcing this out through massive writers block and post-surgery pain because my brain latched on to this song like a fucking lifeline. I don't have the patience for AI on a good day, and this is not a Good Day.)

Content under the cut; have fun with the angst :)

Not a night goes by Without the restless dreams Where you’re beautiful as ever and you're kissing me

Shadow doesn’t know when he fell for Vio; but when the other boy had kissed him, he could’ve sworn his entire world had exploded in the best way possible.

He can still feel the sparks now, the memory echoing so loudly that it keeps him awake. Of course, it’s not like he needs the sleep; he’s made of dark magic, not flesh and blood like the heroes. Like Vio.

A shiver runs up his spine and Shadow rolls over in his bed, tugging his blanket up over his head to block out the few rays of dawn light that made it past the room’s curtains.

Vio; Shadow can’t help the smile that breaks out as his chest burns with warmth. You're amazing..

“Then we can rule the world! No one above us, just you and me, Shadow!”

I might be just a shadow, but I think.. I think I love you, as stupid and sappy as that sounds.

It wasn't long before he felt himself start to doze off again, memories of earlier that night bright in his mind; the wind swirling in Vio’s hair as they soared above the burning forest, faces lit by the glow. His consciousness fades as his thoughts turn to pulling Vio in for another kiss, the night sky around them lit only by the embers and full moon.

And when the shadows fade Under the killing sun In the heat of day, I still remember everything

It burned. The light of the morning, the heat of the volcano, the blast of pure Light from the Four Swords as the Heroes banished him from the Light World.

It burned, Vio’s betrayal.

Tears streamed town his face as his form was torn apart, and Shadow couldn't tell if it was from the physical pain, or from his heart shattering. “I thought you loved me too,” he wanted to scream, but it was far too late. His body was nothing more than whisps in the air, his mind barely clinging to consciousness as he found himself enveloped by the cold darkness of the Shadow Realm.

It was as close to a home that he could have, but he hated it. He had hated it before, when Lord Ganon had first twisted his being into sentience; forced to watch Link for years as the pieces all fell into place for the King of Darkness’ plan. And he hated it now, once again stuck doing nothing but watch and—

Was it possible to cry when you were nothing more than a vague impression? He wished he had a voice to cry out, to lash out, to do anything as he watched the heroes gather around Vio, watched as Vio grinned and laughed as he never had at Shadow’s side.

Despair curled through what was left of Shadow, and it burned.

Like a curse – There is nothing I can do Like a curse – I can't get away from you Like a curse – I can never let you go Like a curse – I keep coming back for more

No wonder he chose them over me... Shadow could barely form the thought; his existence piecemeal at best in the void of the Shadow Realm. His perspective was split between the four, too, which didn't help.

Still, he watched. He didn't have much of a choice, not having eyes to close, but he couldn't help but want to anyway. It hurt, seeing Vio so obviously happy; almost carefree.

Shadow didn't care. Not as long as he got to see him. It didn't matter that seeing him reminded him of late nights and wicked grins and soft lips—

He didn't care.

It took a few days, Shadow thinks, for the Heroes to make it to the Sanctuary. For them to be sent up Vaati’s tower. It was hard to tell, as deep in the shadows as he was.

It was easier, once they got to the tower. This close to the Dark Mirror, Shadow could see them clearer, even if he wasn't alive enough to draw in its power.

He watched, as the Heroes fought their father. Watched as the Wind Demon, in the guise of the princess, told them to kill the man. Watched, heart twisting, as Vio spoke of him.

“Creatures of darkness enjoy seeing us kill each other — Remember how Shadow Link was laughing while you and I duelled.”

Shadow wanted to curl in on himself at the words. It was true, he had been elated to see Vio defeat Green; even if his more hysterical laughter had been because of how incensed Green had been at Vio’s betrayal — Vio’s fake betrayal. Had Green known? Had that anger been an act as well? Shadow didn't think he wanted to know. It would probably just hurt more.

Shadow watched as the Heroes’ father wrestled enough control from Vaati to break the Demon’s spell.

He watched as the Heroes crossed the threshold to the tower’s peak, chasing after the Wind Demon.

Watched as they were flung across the tower by Vaati.

Watched, until—

Nothing ever changes So I've learned Even though I've tried so hard to forget

Shadow collapsed on the floor with a wet splat as Lord Ganon’s presence retreated from his mind. Liquid darkness pooled beneath his body, the new form trembling from the strain of being woven together so quickly. A sob wretched from his throat in between his gasps for breath, and he flinched at the sound of soft fabric rustling. An audience. He glared up at the Princess, expression twisting into a snarl at the pity on her face.

“What are you looking at?” His voice was rough as he wheezed for air, arms barely able to hold himself upright. “Move it! Get away from me!” He knew she didn't really have anywhere to go, but he didn't care — he just wanted her anywhere else but here, so he could stop seeing that look.

He could hear her shoes clicking as she took a step back from him, and he couldn't stop the shivers that wracked his body as he finally warmed up enough to feel anything but a freezing numbness. Pain started to shoot though his body with every motion, and he hugged himself tight, hunching in on himself to hide as best as he could without being able to move around. “I won't have your pity,” he gritted out. “Nothing hurts worse than pity!”

Except that wasn't true, not anymore. He knew something that did hurt worse. Not that he’d ever admit it to her, or anyone else. “Curse you,” he spat out, not really sure if he was cursing the Princess, or Lord Ganon, or Vio... Maybe all of them. Another heavy shiver rocketed though his body, and he dropped an arm to the stone beneath him to keep from falling over.

Then she spoke, voice soft, and his world turned upside down.

“Do you really think the light will hurt you? Don't you see? You’re a Link, too. Deep inside, you're a hero as well.”

All his thoughts stuttered to a stop. Does she really think that I'm... he looks up at her, scared to see that pity, scared that he’d see a lie, but he couldn't help that blossom of hope from forming.

He saw pity, but he also saw a kindness that felt so real, he felt his heart settle just a bit.

If she saw some kind of goodness in him, then maybe Link could too. Maybe Vio could...

Then they were interrupted, the Princess taken by the Dark Cloud. He tried to stop it; he did, but the Cloud never really listened to him, only worked alongside him when they had both been ordered to by Lord Ganon.

So he does the only thing he can — he chases after the Heroes; checking their locations with the Dark Mirror before stumbling out of the room, pulling Vio’s colours over him as he goes.

Following after them one last time. Chasing Vio. Maybe this time there won't be anything of me left to hurt.

And when the shadows fall I can hear you calling me Your smile as still as the stars And you've never loved me once

CRASH!

The Dark Mirror’s frame hits the ground, and Shadow topples over with it. Groaning, he rolls off to the side of the mirror, lying flat on the ground.

It’s not long before he hears a familiar voice.

“Shadow!”

He doesn't know whether to feel elated or upset. He settles on exhausted — he's barely conscious anymore, vision fuzzy at the edges, body almost completely numb.

Vio’s face comes into focus over his own, and he can make out a red blur pass to one side of him.

“Did you break the Dark Mirror? Why?!”

Shadow frowns at the words, and he can hear a faint ringing in his ears as he speaks, voice faint. “Is Vaati gone?”

Vio nods. “Yes, he's gone — thanks to you.” the Hero smiles, and Shadow feels his heart break again. Its not the warm smile he’s seen the boy give the other heroes, it’s the same smile he always gave Shadow — the one he now knows means a lie. A performance.

“Why are you thanking me?” His ears are starting to ring harder now, but he doesn't miss Vio telling him he saved the day. He feels himself smile, just a bit, as his eyes started to shutter against his will. Even if Vio was still putting up a front, pretending to like him, he had to admit hearing that felt good. “Oh. You're.. welcome.” He lets his eyes droop as he speaks.

“Hey! Hang in there!”

Shadow blinks. Was that Vio, or one of the others? It was getting hard to tell though the ringing, and everything was just a blur of colours when he opened his eyes again. Either way, he supposed he should say something more. It’s not like him to die quietly, after all. He takes a breath, trying to steady his voice. “A shadow.. usually only every follows the body. It never gets to lead the way.” Another breath. He can feel his heartbeat slowing. “Today, I faced the enemy.. on my own. Felt pretty good.” He grinned through the haze at he thought, before letting the smile drop. “But that still doesn't make me.. part of the body.” Part of Link, sure. But not really. Not in the same way-

“Of course it does. You're one of us. You're our friend!”

The ringing is too strong to tell which of the heroes had said it. He supposes it doesn't matter much, in the end. He smiles, the part of him that had been crying for acceptance since his creation finally at ease.

He thinks he may be crying, as his body fades to nothing.

He doesn't know if its because one of the heroes had accepted him, or if its because he knows there's no way Vio had been the one to do so.

Like a curse – There is nothing I can do

Watching.

Again, Shadow can do nothing but watch as Lord Ganon emerges from the Dark Cloud to face the Heroes himself. He watches as the heroes struggle and fight, harnessing wind using the Force Energy they had gathered from Vaati’s defeat to clear the battlefield.

Shadow watches with baited breath as Princess Zelda is revealed, descending from the scattering Dark Cloud and urging the heroes to attack in sync.

Watches, as Lord Ganon, King of Darkness is defeated; bound within the Four Swords.

And as the Heroes and Princess make their way to the Four Sword Sanctuary to seal the evil within for good, Shadow wants to tear at hair and skin he no longer has in frustration. He knows what will happen when the sword is returned to it’s pedestal. Ganon will be sealed, sure, but the heroes — Vio — will disappear.

He was going to die, and there's nothing Shadow could do about it.

Like a curse – I can't get away from you

Watching Link is a special form of torture, Shadow thinks. He's just Link now; has been for months, and yet he keeps seeing things that make hm believe, just for a second, that maybe the heroes never merged. The hero — because its just hero now, not heroes — usually acts like Green. Maybe a bit more in touch with his emotions like Red. And he's also calmer now. Usually, anyway.

Like Shadow remembered him being before splitting, just less... egotistical. And quick to work with the knights, when they asked.

But on occasion, the hero would watch people with an intensity that Shadow had only ever seen from Vio, when he was picking apart a problem. Or he would spend hours in the castle library, pouring through book after book with single-minded fervour, pen furiously scribbling in a notebook beside him. And the foolish hope Shadow felt every time it happened ate at him.

Again and again, Shadow would see that hint of Vio in Link’s actions, in the messy scrawl of hasty notes, in the distant expressions he got sometimes, emotions locked behind a mask.

And like clockwork, Shadow hoped, only for reality to crash back into him.

Like a curse – I can never let you go

A year had passed, and Shadow found himself spending less and less of that time conscious. Not for lack of effort on his part. He fought back against the darkness around him, desperate for just one more chance to see Link; to see Vio.

He can't find it in him to be surprised at his fading, not really. The one who had created him had been sealed away, and couldn't exactly pop in to reform him another body. Not that the bastard would have; seeing how Shadow had betrayed him. Either way, Shadow was fading, becoming closer to the lifeless shadow he had started out as.

He refused to give in easy. Rebelling was kinda his shtick now, after all. That and he can't give up on that small seed of hope he had kept alive since that first time he had seen Link smile his smile.

He knew there wasn't any reason to hope. An entire year had passed, and Link was still Link; Vio, Green, Red, and Blue were nowhere to be seen; the Four Sword lay untouched in it’s pedestal — Link had accompanied Princess Zelda to the Sanctuary to check on the seal at the anniversary of their victory, and nothing about the place had changed.

And yet, he clung onto that one last hope.

Like a curse – You keep coming back for more

Shadow pieces himself back to consciousness slowly, this thoughts like molasses until he can stretch his metaphorical muscles and wake up a bit more.

He looks around, gathering his bearings best he can. A dark room — Link’s — lit only by the moonlight streaming softly through the open window along with a chilled autumn wind. Papers on the floor flutter in the breeze where they seemed to have been knocked off of the desk.

And sitting there, cheek laying on the page of an open book, is Link. Dead asleep, clearly having fallen asleep mid-research. If he could have, Shadow would have rolled his eyes with a huff of laughter. But instead, he did his best to focus on the pages Link was sleeping on — reading anything as a shadow was difficult enough, but trying to do so with something outside of his reach had proven impossible. Unfortunately for Shadow’s boredom, the castle library was always well-lit; even late into the night, Link always kept a lantern right above whatever he was reading, preventing his shadow from falling over the pages.

Great for Link’s ability to read; Horribly obstructive for Shadow’s.

But now, Link was asleep; his lantern had burnt down to a nub of leftover wax; and the only light was coming from behind the sleeping hero at the perfect angle for Shadow. And there was no way he was passing this chance up — Link had been neglecting his health whenever he got like this with his research, and Shadow wanted to know why. What had driven the hero to spend hours ignoring the world around him in favour of–

Shadow stilled as he focused on the pages, covered in almost as much handwriting as there was text.

Handwriting in four very distinct styles.

He struggled to focus enough to actually read anything after that revelation. They weren't gone; they were never gone; only hidden– Shadow did his best to shake of the thoughts as he turned his attention back to the page, doing his best to translate at least a few snippets of text.

“—Many Dark Relics have been uncovered in the past, many of which have been proven to be heavily cursed—��

“—possible to create similar items—“

“—high concentrations of Dark magic, which can be found in places that have previously hosted more powerful—“

Shadow felt himself start to get hazy as he read, only in part due to the Darkness drawing him back into its embrace. They're researching how to make Dark Artifacts? He turned his focus — quickly waning — to the handwritten notes filling the margins, and his heart soared.

“Idiot, there's no way he’s dead! He already came back once!”

“There was that merchant that arrived a few days ago — he was selling hand mirrors! Maybe we could use it as a base?”

“Father wants us to help clear out some old Monster hotspots soon, we should check those areas to see if there’s enough Dark Magic built up-”

Shadow swears he could feel tears burning his eyes as he read one last line before fading back into the darkness. The ink had blurred from teardrops that had soaked into the page, but not enough to warp the familiar handwriting beyond recognition.

“We should keep going a little longer tonight — I've almost narrowed down our best option for a ritual, and I refuse to take any more time than necessary. Its already been far too long and I-.” The pen had paused there, long enough to build up a large mark before continuing, letters almost completely blotted out by tears.

“I miss him.”

#four swords manga #writing #vidow #vio x shadow #shadow link #my writing #character exploration #kinda #lu four #not technically #but Four kinda lives in my head rent free #so i did have him in mind a bit while writing the post-canon bit #hence the tag #this fic can be read as manga-only or as part of lu four's backstory

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