#*gremlin cackling* >:D

[midnight-shadow-cafe]

Rolling for Romance

Pairing: Poly 141 x Reader

Warnings: Chaos, swearing, nerd references, Johnny being Johnny

Author's Note: Just some D&D shenanigans with the boys. Hope you enjoy!

Summary: You finally convince your boyfriends to play Dungeons & Dragons, and it goes exactly how you expected.

Masterlist

MDNI18+MDNI18+MDNI18+MDNI18+MDNI18+

The dining table was a war zone of character sheets, dice, snacks, and four very skeptical yet secretly intrigued soldiers. You had been plotting this for weeks, convinced that if you could just get them to try D&D, they’d love it.

“Alright, my loves, welcome to Dungeons & Dragons.”

John, or as Johnny fondly called him, Old Man, raised an eyebrow. Arms crossed, he leaned back in his chair, giving you that familiar look of amused doubt. “This is that bloody nerd game you keep goin’ on about, yeah?”

“You say that now,” you teased, “but by the end of the night, you’ll be the one demanding another session.”

“I doubt that,” Simon muttered from the corner, his ever-present skeptical gaze locked onto his character sheet. Big Guy wasn’t one for unnecessary distractions—he preferred the battlefield to fantasy. But even he had a slight twitch of curiosity in his eyes.

“Alright, let’s go over your characters, you said, handing them their sheets. Gremlin, you’re a barbarian.”

Johnny cackled as he read his sheet. “Ohhh, hell yeah. Big, strong, reckless—so basically me in real life?”

“Exactly.”

“Oi!” Kyle scoffed. “There’s a difference between reckless and just plain stupid, mate.”

“Shut it, Pretty Boy,” Johnny shot back.

Kyle smirked but turned his attention to his sheet. “Rogue, huh? Stealthy, good with knives—yeah, I can work with this.”

“You’ll probably end up stealing from your own team,” John muttered, already predicting the inevitable.

“Not my fault if you’re bad at hiding your gold,” Kyle shot back.

Simon’s unreadable expression didn’t change as he looked at his page. “Paladin?”

“You get to wear heavy armor and smite things, you explained. You’re basically a holy knight.”

He tilted his head. “So… I hit things. And they explode with holy energy?”

“More or less.”

“Hm,” he grunted. “Alright.”

And then there was John.

He squinted at his sheet, brow furrowing. “You gave me a wizard?”

You grinned. “Yes, I did.”

He sighed, rubbing his temple. “You know I prefer things straightforward, love. Can’t I just have a sword and be done with it?”

“But Captain Fireball,” you cooed, leaning in, “think about it—you get to command pure destruction.”

That made him pause.

“…Go on,” he muttered.

Hook. Line. Sinker.

——

“You find yourselves in a dimly lit tavern, you narrated, setting the scene. The smell of stale ale and roasted meat fills the air, and the murmur of patrons drowns out the crackling of the fire. A barmaid passes by with a tray of drinks, and a hooded figure sits in the corner— “

“I flirt with the barmaid,” Johnny announced immediately, rolling his d20 before you could even react.

You sighed. “You what?”

He grinned. “Rollin’ for charisma, babe.”

Kyle leaned over. “Oh, mate, you got a natural 20.”

You groaned. “The barmaid is very into you.”

Johnny smirked, waggling his eyebrows. “What’s she doin’?”

“She’s batting her eyelashes and giggling like a schoolgirl,” you deadpanned. “She even offers you a free drink.”

Before Johnny could revel in his success, Simon cleared his throat. “I cast Divine Sense.”

Everyone turned to him.

“You… what?” you asked, already bracing for nonsense.

“Need to make sure she’s not some sort of … demon.”

Kyle was already laughing. “Simon, she’s just a barmaid.”

“You never know,” Big Guy muttered, arms crossed. “Can’t be too careful.”

John groaned. “Jesus Christ, Si.”

You pinched the bridge of your nose. “Fine. She’s not a demon. Just a very charmed barmaid.”

“Good,” Simon said simply.

——

“You enter a dungeon filled with traps, you continued, getting to the action. The air is damp, and the faint glow of—“

“I kick the door down,” Johnny declared.

You sighed. “You… what?”

“KICK. THE. DOOR. DOWN.” He rolled his dice. Natural 1.

Kyle howled with laughter. “Ohhh, this is amazing.”

You grinned. “Your foot bounces off the door, you fall flat on your ass, and now your toe hurts.”

Johnny groaned. “This is rigged.”

“It’s called consequences, Gremlin.”

But the true catastrophe came when combat started.

“You see a group of goblins—“

“I cast Fireball,” John interrupted.

“You do realize you're in a wooden room, right?”

John hesitated. “…Can I take it back?”

“Nope.”

“Bugger.”

The entire room went up in flames. Goblins screamed. The party screamed. Kyle wheezed. Simon muttered a low, unimpressed, “Christ.”

“You just fireballed the entire building,” you said, struggling to breathe through your laughter. “Everyone inside is now running for their lives, including you.”

John exhaled slowly, rubbing his temple. “This is why I don’t play wizard.”

——

Despite, or maybe because of, the absolute madness, the boys had a blast.

By the time the session ended, they were still bickering over their favorite moments.

“I still think I should’ve been able to seduce the goblin king,” Johnny grumbled, crossing his arms.

“You rolled a 2, Gremlin,” you reminded him. He laughed in your face.

“I’m just sayin’, I think I deserved a second roll.”

Kyle smirked. “At least I didn’t get my ass kicked by a door.”

“Shut it, Pretty Boy.”

Simon leaned back in his chair, arms crossed. “I’ll admit… that was actually fun.”

John sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Aye, love, I’ll give it to you. This was a good night.”

Johnny threw an arm around you, kissing the top of your head. “Best DM ever. We’re playin’ again next week.”

You beamed. Mission accomplished.

Hope you enjoyed! Please consider liking and reposting! -Midnight💜

[luna-loveboop]

So one thing I like about Time is that he will talk about his life and journeys

He talks about it! He'll tell the boys stories and answer questions. (...when asked)

Obviously he tells his family- Malon knows everything

But he has also never held back from telling the boys stories or answering questions

I'm still always cackling over him telling them about gerudo town- he is way too proud to brag about being a mischievous gremlin

"I proved to be a greater thief than all of ganons tribe"- oh yeah. He's definitely the good influence. (That's sarcasm, Wars is the one good example for the younger ones.)

He just. He looks so smug to tell them about his experiences with the Gerudo- I love how often we see him just talking to them and answering questions about his life.

Even if it's clearly painful memories- he has still always told them

*sobs*

Obviously Time talks to Twilight the most about stuff- and everyone knows that (to where Sky went to him for questions about Time)

But the thing that get me the most is Wind.

Wind asked about... everything! Wind asked about his first journey and his life- and Time told him

The sheer transition from

"I was wondering... about your original journey"

To

"You told me about your original journey. Everything you said... the sages you described, the old traditions, the old stories- all of it! ...)

And this literally drives me insane because Time told him- Time told him everything! He told him about the sages, traditions- Time literally openly talked to Wind about his first Journey because he asked.

The Hero of Time's story had always been a tragedy- I mean... yikes. Trauma much? But I think people overlook this part of him- that he's older. All the hurt and scars are still there, but he has learned to talk about it to deal with it. And I think I know why- (Read)

Malon Malon Malon Malon!!! Jojo showed this set up for their marriage- Time was and is traumatized. But he and Malon worked to talk through things. I mean. Can you imagine keeping secrets from Malon? I don't want to. I feel like she would throw a cow at me. Anyways.

It takes a lot to work through trauma and learn to talk through it. Malon claimed him tho, so I don't think he had a choice. But seriously- she helped him work through things as family. Which led to a successful marriage for both of them, and got Time to where he can talk about these things with the boys :D

But

Time is a troll, so although he will share his insane life stories.... he will also say he fought the moon with no more context, and tell his wife that they have a descendant but not freaking tell her which one it is.

He's so insane I love it <3

Just don't forget this part of him... don't forget that rather it's sad or goofy or whatever- he will talk about his life. If someone simply asks

:)

.

Art and comic by Jojo @linkeduniverse au! :DDD

@adrift-in-thyme

[sleepy-spacetronaut]

When the Mystery Shack acquired a feisty gremlin

Start note: (22/11/2024) I have been experimenting a lot with designing Bill Cipher alternates and although they all have some points of resemblance, they have their own energy of a sort. Once the hyperfixation is over I will switch back to brainstorming lore for my personal projects, but this little experimental phase gave me a kick for making more emotional expressions and comic-format drawings. Also, I randomly started to write short fanfiction chapters for this design, my imagination has been running wild in the past few months, so stay tuned for potential story bits!

(Edit on D/M/Y: 07/12/2024: The reason this is the 4th design is because I had this drawing made in the beginning of November, but had not gotten the chance to post since my phone was unusable for about two whole weeks, so I switched to digital art in the meantime.

*will add ID for bottom picture later

One more idea that flashed through my head recently— if Bill can be a Tumblr Sexyman, then he also could total be a short, stocky and gremlin-like in a human form. Held he ravaging the pantry, causing a major ruckus in the shack, fighting children over candy—-Gosh, the POTENTIAL of this, if put in the Handyman Bill (credit to @/ on twitter) AU is endless.

Hypothetical scenarios with this design:

Ford, opening the door to get out of the Shack: What the—?

Bill, slouching on the shack’s doorstep: Hey Fordsy , guess who’s baaaack! Did you miss me, admit it, you missed me ! >:^)

Ford: … I may have missed you last time, but guess what? My aim has gotten BETTER!

Bill: *sits upright and stops smiling, now looking confused* Wuh—?

Ford: *punts him like a soccer ball*

Bill: *Shrieks while flying away and disappears with a twinkle in the sky*

Mabel and Dipper: SCOOOOORE! 📢

————————————

[After Bill had been caught red handed raiding the pantry and eating all the snacks]

Stan: *pulls out a pair of regular handcufs and tries to put them onto Bill’s wrists* There! Problem solved! Now you can’t get your grubby paws into the pantry—

*the shackles immediately slide off and fall to the floor with a metallic thud*

Bill and Stan stare at the ground rather dumbly. Bill snorts.

Bill, cackling and pumping his fists into the air: AHAHA! YES! YESSSSS! Finaly something good came out of theses acursed baby hands! SUCK IT, FEZ—-!

Stan: *unceremoniously picks him up by the scruf of the shirt*

Bill:*his tiny face flushing red with anger* Wh- What the heck!? Put me down! * starts to wriggle* STANLEY PINES, YOU ABSOLUTE FOOL, YOU MEASLY WORM WITH CATARACTS ! YOU DUMBASS! PUT ME DOWN OR I’LL— I’LL-

Stan: *goes over to the coat hanger hook on the wall and hangs Bill by the fabric of his shirts, grinning triumphantly* Or you’ll what? Steal my kneecaps? You’re powerless, Cipher. For once just admit that you lost and quit rummaging through our food!

Bill:*stops wiggling like a worm to stare daggers at Stanley*…I’m gonna scream and get your ass fined and incarcerated for child abuse. >:(

———————————

Stan, to Soos: I made a mistake by giving that menace a tricycle; he’s been rolling on it after my ankles ever since.

*Bill approaching rapidly in the background on his tricycle, a stick in hand*

Bill: HWOOOOYA! Take THAT, old fart! *smacks Stan’s shins repeatedly*

Stan: *glowers* that’s IT, I’m selling you on the internet, you ankle bitter. 

(And this is how the Pines officially acquired a new puny arch nemesis to replace the menace that was Gideon Gleeful.)

Wake up democracy, it is Polling Time!

I don’t have a preference when it comes to my Bill designs, but if love to know what’s your take on them and see if we got any favourite.

For reference, here are the links to each design, but I recommend to just look through my pinned post for additional art or info.

Design 1

Design 2

Design 3

Design 4 (it’s this post! Scroll up🔝 )

Design 5

End note: I will perhaps make a short fanfic with this concept but it will be much later, as I have already Vogelfrei to work on and Rewind the Timeline. Feel free to check out the story concept for both fanfic ideas on my pinned post. Have a great day/afternoon/evening/night, fellow tumbkerfolks!

[thrpr0phetuseek]

[ as though it was possible, they leaned as far as they could into his embrace, fading in and out of touch with reality in every cry ]

[ they stay like that for a long time, just two souls mingling (ring-ting ting-a-ling /j /silly) before eventually the prophet shifts hesitantly out of the embrace, choking back tears just to speak ]

“You made it back. How’d it go? How are they—your family.”

ooc: I see the anons are still tormenting Tir - feel free to save this until after or place it in a separate time. Up to you! (Spoilers for the Ithaca saga, of course. When does a man become a monster? /silly)

Time in the underworld was imperceptible. Somehow, against that well-known fact, this break felt longer. Odysseus had been gone; his voice silent and his presence invisible. The only remaining piece of him was the seashell threaded charm that clicked on Tiresias' staff when shifted.

Then, he was back. The king stepped onto the island with sandal-clad feet, approaching the prophet with a small, weak smile. His cape is back, clipped over his shoulder with an old pin he had long forgotten. The depiction of the owl had been carved away, redesigned with scales.

"Hey there, star." He greets. Odysseus' voice is heavy with the weight of so much left unsaid. Tales of monsters and mistakes. Mortal and familiar. His heart is still fighting against his mind each night, and his eyes reflect the tiredness. Guilt clawing silently at scars.

[ the prophet, sat at the bottom of one of the cliff faces, barely moved. Even looking up, it didn’t feel like they even were looking. Everything about them seemed just as tired, but they seemed more broken than before, and their voice reeked of desperation to get out of their self-fed isolation ]

“What? Who—? Oh. Ody. Oh not now, please love, I can’t— not today, okay. You’re tired and I’m— . . . you don’t need to keep visiting, now. After everything. You made it back. Go enjoy your time, will you? Be with your family. For me.”

[user-16s-world]

Title: ‘shattering’ a dimond

Yellow Diamond towered over them, arms crossed, her usual scowl firmly in place. Amethyst and Steven stood side by side, cracking their knuckles in anticipation.

“You two against me?” Yellow Diamond scoffed. “This won’t even be a warm-up.”

Steven grinned. “We’ll see about that!”

Amethyst smirked. “Yeah, don’t underestimate the little guys.”

Yellow Diamond didn’t wait—she lunged, shaking the ground with a stomp. Steven and Amethyst dodged in opposite directions, barely avoiding her massive hand as it swiped through the air.

“Whoa! Chill, Big Bird!” Amethyst taunted, flipping over Yellow Diamond’s arm and aiming a punch. It barely made her flinch.

Steven ricocheted off her boots with his shield, glancing at Amethyst. “We need a better plan.”

Amethyst’s grin turned downright devilish. “Got one.”

She shapeshifted into a small wisp of a form, darting between Yellow Diamond’s legs, tripping her just enough for Steven to leap onto her shoulder. Yellow Diamond swiped at him, but he dropped—right into the folds of her uniform.

Steven blinked. It was dark, warm, and—uh oh.

“Uh… Amethyst?”

“Yeah?” Her voice was right next to him.

“I think we fell into her clothes.”

Silence.

Then—

“…Oh, dude.” Amethyst snickered.

“What are you two DOING under there?” Yellow Diamond’s voice rumbled above them, annoyed.

Steven shifted slightly, brushing against something soft. Yellow Diamond jerked.

“Ggghh—!”

Steven’s eyes widened. Amethyst’s snickering turned downright evil.

“Wait a second…” she murmured.

Steven hesitated—then poked the spot again.

Yellow Diamond flinched.

“Oh-ho wow,” Amethyst whispered, her voice full of glee.

Yellow Diamond’s breath hitched. “D-Don’t you DARE—”

Too late.

Steven wiggled his fingers against her sides while Amethyst skittered her claws along her stomach. The reaction was immediate.

“HHH—! NGHHH—ST-STOP THAT AT ONCE!”

But they didn’t.

Yellow Diamond trembled, her body betraying her. Her muscles twitched violently, and then—

“Ack—hhrnnng—pffhh—!”

A barely-contained chuckle escaped.

“Oh, this is gold,” Amethyst cackled.

“Come on, Yellow,” Steven teased, grinning. “Just say you surrender, and we’ll stop.”

Yellow Diamond gritted her teeth. “I will do no such thi—AHHHH!!”

Amethyst had just found a particularly sensitive spot near her ribs. Yellow Diamond convulsed. Her knees buckled. Her arms flailed wildly, trying to grab them, but they were buried too deep in her uniform.

Then—her balance tipped.

With an earth-shaking THUD, Yellow Diamond collapsed onto the ground, sprawling onto her back, limbs twitching.

Steven and Amethyst popped their heads out from her uniform, victorious.

“HA! The big, bad Diamond—KO’d by tickles!” Amethyst cheered.

Yellow Diamond panted, her face flushed with embarrassment. “I—hhrnn—I hate you both.”

Steven grinned, wiggling his fingers near her ribs again. “That doesn’t sound like surrender~”

Yellow Diamond twitched. “I—I—FFFHHAAH!!”

She snorted.

That was it. Her composure was completely shattered. Her deep, rumbling voice melted into full-blown laughter.

“FINE! I SURRENDER!”

Steven and Amethyst whooped, high-fiving—until Yellow Diamond shot them a death glare.

“If either of you EVER speaks of this—”

“Ohhh?” Amethyst raised a brow, smirking. “Are you threatening us?”

Steven wiggled his fingers menacingly. “I think she’s threatening us.”

Yellow Diamond’s eyes widened. “Wait—NO—”

Too late. They pounced.

“GGGNNNHHH—HHRRAHH!!—YOU LITTLE GREMLINS!!”

Laughter exploded from her as they tickled with full force. Amethyst dug into her ribs while Steven attacked under her arms. Yellow Diamond thrashed, her deep, commanding voice reduced to helpless, uncontrollable giggles.

“PLEHEHEASE—ENOUGH!!”

Steven tapped his chin in mock thought. “Mmmm… I dunno. Do you promise no more threats?”

“YES! YES, I PROMISE—NOW GET OFF OF ME!”

They finally stopped, letting Yellow Diamond slump onto the ground, gasping. Her usually imposing figure was wrecked, her composure utterly destroyed.

She sat up, straightening her uniform with as much dignity as she could muster. “I… will never forgive you for this.”

Amethyst snickered. “Sure you won’t, Giggles.”

Steven grinned. “So… rematch?”

Yellow Diamond shot them a look.

Steven held up his hands. “Okay, okay! Maybe later.”

Even as she stood, her glare unwavering, there was a tiny twitch of a smirk on her lips.

Maybe these two weren’t entirely insufferable.

[the-obnoxious-sibling]

What would be shanks and buggy dnd alignment? And why?

so, i did go on a tag rant about the possibilities for buggy as a dnd character back in january. (tl;dr you have to treat devil fruits as homebrewed magical items that are ‘attuned’ to any character who swallows one. that way buggy’s class can be about his daggers and charisma rather than his df—rogue/bard multiclass ftw.) but i didn’t get into alignment stuff at all back then.

usually i don’t find the dnd alignment grid all that useful when thinking about characters, but one piece actually does have characters that fit all nine options, from the over-the-top cackling chaotic evil types to idiot noble lawful good types. *meme voice* she has the range, darling.

shanks: neutral good.

neutral because he’s not the flag-burning chaos gremlin better known as monkey d luffy—shanks does see value in sometimes working with legal authorities. but at the same time, he is a pirate. no self-respecting pirate falls in the lawful column of this grid.

good because he is a protector and helper first and foremost. his fleet is made up of ships he took under his wing because they couldn’t defend themselves. he’s selfless, dangerously so.

buggy: chaotic neutral

chaotic because he has no respect for authority, happily breaks laws, etc—as i said, no self-respecting pirate is lawful—and, when forced to work for an authority, doesn’t make secret his disdain for them.

neutral because he doesn’t have kind-hearted motives. buggy puts buggy first, doesn’t care what impact he has on other people, he’s always looking out for #1… but he doesn’t go out of his way to torture kittens either, you know? he’s wicked, but not eEeEeViL.

[wordy-little-witch]

Is it bad to want to see more of Ghost Roger shenanigans? Because now that the man knows he can talk to the living world... The conversations, Perona is getting so many stories about Buggy and Shanks as children. Poor Buggy

OUGH yes absolutely give me an excuse to write about this bc it's so silly and it's arguably one of my most favorite things ever aaaaaa

Roger is just SO excited, and while he does have HUGE Girl Dad energy, he's hitting all the Dad Points. He's a Capital D Dad. The D in Gol D Roger stands for DAD and I cannot articulate this enough. It's hilarious. He's an idiot. He made so many mistakes but he always always ALWAYS did his best to do right by his kids and he loved them with every cell in his body. He was the type of parent who would have a wallet solely for the opportunity to flip it open dramatically and unroll a mile long strip of baby photos.

Even being dead won't stop him from gushing about his sons and embarrassing them.

Perona ultimately becomes his main focus because Fresh Meat, and she's just gobbling this up. They're mutually trying desperately to figure out how to get ghost pictures into the physical world. She has all the tea.

Up to and including walking up to Buggy one day during a cross guild meeting, no regard whatsoever for the "uncute and stuffy vibe" to instead redirect focus onto the Important Stuff.

"Hey Buggy, did you really once dress in drag ad a child to get free food at Fishman island"

Crocodile chokes on his cigar. Mihawk damn near does a spit take. Buggy just sighs.

"Yeah."

"Are there pictures"

"Somewhere probably"

"Can I h-"

"No"

"Booo you're mean! Grandpa Roger said I could"

Buggy then manages to somehow snort and gasp, coughing harshly as his whiskey drips from his nose. "GRANDPA WHO?!?!?!"

Meanwhile Roger is floating in the upper corner in full gremlin pose as he cackle like the menace he is. ((And no he does not flinch when Buggy side eyes him aggressively while cleaning his face.... he just..... decided suddenly and with no particular reason to avoid his clown child's room for the next three to five business weeks. Pranks can be played elsewhere. No, he isn't scared of his most unhinged child.... of course not............ ((the old scar from a tiny mouth clamping on his ankle aches a little, but he's very good at ignoring things))))

All of this is, ofc, not even touching on the hijinks the kids got up to together. Perona has SO much blackmail!!!

[puppiesandnightlock]

LINK: but since the world’s obsessed with saying ‘psych’ (pt.2)

summary: Milkshakes, fries, trespassing and mild auto theft :D

Jon bounced on his toes, hands behind his back as he waited for the teacher to poke their head in and allow them both to leave. That was the only way Damian would let them leave would be if they were formally dismissed, and for some unknown reason, he was ready to do anything the other boy said, as long as it meant they’d be going to the diner together.

At first glance, it seemed as if Damian was fully invested in his book, but a bit closer and he was watching the bouncing teen from the corner of his eye, resisting a smile as the earlier characterization of him being a puppy ruled correct. His clothing needed work, and his mannerisms as well, and he’d make that known once he figured out just how long this would actually last.

“Mr. Kent, Mr. Wayne, you are both free to go.” The teacher finally dismissed them, and Jon hovered over Damian’s chair, watching as he arranged his things in his messenger bag.

He slung it over his shoulder, shooting the excited teen a mildly annoyed look. “And you were offended about the puppy comparison.” 

“I’m holding onto that, I will turn the gremlin thing onto you eventually.” Jon smirked, looming above him. “Would you look at that, you’ve got the height part down already.”

“Shut up.” He grumbled, holding onto the strap of his bag. “Do you want me to come or not?”

The other only chuckled, holding the door for him. “But of course, Your Highness. Forgive my words.”

He sniffed, nose in the air as he played along. “I suppose you’ve been pardoned. Now, onwards to the feast.”

The face lasted a moment longer before they both dissolved into laughter, moving down the halls of the school at a swift pace.

“We’ll have to walk.” Jon noted, once they were out at the pick up area. 

“The sun is up, does not seem like an issue.” Damian brushed it off. “You have directions and I wish to have lunch, so the quicker we’re off, the better.”

“Yes, of course, your very royal highness.” Jon rolled his eyes, beginning to stride away in one direction, longer legs making for quicker strides. 

“Hey!” the other boy protested, jogging to keep up. The taller one laughed, speeding up more.

 “Asshole.” he heard Damian mutter, smiling to himself. Yeah, so maybe he was, but really, it was all worth it to mess with him.

They ran down the streets of the city, Damian calling out obscenities as Jon cackled, always a few paces ahead. He slowed as they neared their destination, letting the shorter boy catch up and swat at him.

“See if I ever come with you again!” He huffed, holding onto the strap of his messenger bag, tugging at the collar of his green pullover.

“Aw, come on, D ,” he said, nickname coming out mockingly. “If we’re gonna be friends, you gotta keep up with your little gremlin legs.”

He groaned. “Oh my God , fuck off. How many jokes are you going to be making about this? Gets old pretty quick you know, J .”

“A bad word !” Jon gasped, now walking in tandem with him. “Whatever will your family say?”

“They’d wash my mouth out with soap.” Damian deadpanned. “Only there wouldn’t be any left by the time they’d finished with my brother.”

He snorted, before tugging on his sleeve, boldly slipping his hand into the smaller caramel one. “C’mon, we gotta cross the street.”

Damian said nothing, only flushing mildly. Jon looked anywhere but at him, cursing the fact that the paleness of his skin did nothing to hide the growing red creeping up his face.

He let go as they reached the other side, gallantly opening the door for the other boy, bowing slightly as he did so. The other boy made a clicking noise, one that he’d so often associated with negative things, now sounding mildly amused. If he’d looked up, he would have seen the slight shake of his head, lips turning up a tic.

A blond freckled girl with the same piercings as Jon came up as they entered, tying back her apron without looking up.

“Hello, welcome to-” She paused looking up at the two, a grin spreading on her face. “Jonathan Samuel, why haven't you come around and who is this beautiful boy?” 

Jon looks sheepish. “Hey Kath. I been busy lately, how’re your folks?” 

Damian was almost appalled, flushing from the girl’s words and marveling at how easily Jon slipped into a much more civilized manner, southern accent showing when he spoke to her.

They stopped in their conversation, Jon pulling Damian in front of him. “This is Damian, he’s…a friend.”

Kathy’s eyes sparked at him. “A friend you say, huh?” She eyed him for a minute, before turning to Damian. “What’d he do to you?”

“Kathy!” Jon barked, flushing.

“Ain’t no way he bagged a pretty thing like you, you gotta be here because he did something to ya and now he’s tryna make it up.”

He raised an eyebrow at Jon. “You do this a lot?”

“Taking that as a yes.” Kathy nodded. “You look prep, he knock your books over?” 

A devilish smirk came over his face and Jon was hit with the reminder of gremlin-like. “Well, that’s one way to put it, but really, the whole story is a lon-MPFFH!” 

His mouth was covered and instinctively he licked the palm, biting at the hand as it was wrenched away from his mouth in disgust. Jon wiped his palm on his jeans while Damian wiped his mouth, both disgusted. Kathy ( The traitor, Jon thought bitterly,) was doubled over laughing, arm propped on the podium holding menus for stability.

“Y’all make such a funny pair, never thought I'd see the day someone corralled Jon.” She giggled as Jon shot her a dirty glare.

“Oh, like you weren’t just as bad! You got a piercing every time I did and you dyed your hair black, and I bet fifty bucks you still wear your eyeliner like I do!”

“Mm, yeah the black hair was not my proudest moment but also, it was like 8th gradebordering freshman year, and i’m attempting to reform.” She put her hand to her heart dramatically. “Of course, I tend to relapse when you drag me into shit.”

“Like you’re complaining.” Jon laughed. “Now, table for two, please.”

They eventually made it to a table, ordering two milkshakes (an almond milk one for Damian) and a side of fries. 

The whole thing was oddly date-esqe and it made the both of them desperate for small talk. Damian, ever equipped with manners and experience in polite conversation, started up the questions.

“So, when you said you were raised in a barn, what did you mean?” 

Jon seemed to light up, recounting his old life in Kansas, talking about the farm he’d grown up on, his and Kathy’s old adventures, and stopped once he mentioned moving to the city.

“Kath moved here a bit ago, we’d kept in touch but don’t see each other too much anymore. She’s still my best friend and stuff but the city’s weird.”

Their food arrived and they shared the snack, chattering on about things. By the end of it, Jon had learned Damian had six siblings and several brothers-in-laws that hung around their father’s large house, as well as many pets. He liked art and led the art club with his friend Skylar, and had met Maya and Colin in elementary school.

Damian learned that Jon had been raised a well-mannered southern boy, as much as he tried to deny it and undo the teachings now. He saw flecks of homesickness when he talked of the country, sadness when he spoke of his parents who had once been there and were now constantly busy, leaving him with his older brother, even though said brother had his own life.

It was insane to the both of them just how much they’d learned about each other after one civil interaction, how much they were being drawn to one another. It was all getting much too sappy and feelings-like for the both of them, so they split the bill and walked out into the night, afternoon sun shining a bit lower in the sky, not quite yet sunset. 

“C’mon, we’ve got some time before it gets dark. Let’s just chill for a bit.” Jon gestured towards the signs pointing to the parks around the city. 

They wandered around a bit, going towards the edge of the city where the forests were. “Hey, wanna wander around here a bit?” Damian said, breezing past him through the broken gate. 

Jon eyed the sign, hanging off one side of the wire. “I’m pretty sure that says no trespassing, D.” 

“The gate’s broken, it isn't as though we’re committing some great offense.” He knocked the gate with a shoulder and the sign fell off. “Oops, there’s no longer a sign to read.”

Jon looked scandalized, what was this, some sort of personality switch? “You’re insane.”

“C’mon, the sun's not down yet.” He went through the brush, raising an eyebrow as Jon refused to follow, bouncing on his toes nervously.

“Scared, farm boy?” He taunted, Jon scowling and taking a step forward.

  Knew that would work.

“Not a chance, darlin’.”  The other boy followed after, pet name slipping from his tongue easily. “I am blaming you though, if we end up being caught doing something as stupid as this.”

Damian scoffed, walking through the thicket. “With your demeanor, I'd assumed you knew the most important thing about doing something mildly illegal.”

“And what is that, exactly?” 

He swallowed as the other boy turned, mouth going dry as a mischievous smirk was shot his way. The words that followed, however, were completely unexpected. 

“Don’t get caught.”

They made it around, exploring the tangles of greenery and knocking branches into each other’s faces when they heard the beginning of a party. The sun was hanging dangerously low in the sky, still not yet sunset. 

“Damian, we’re gonna get in trouble,” Jon hissed. “We should go.” 

“Shhh.” the other boy waved at him, creeping closer. It’s been awhile since he’d done something like this, but he felt the once familiar excitement creep up on him, an amazing feeling that he was determined to chase. He was nearly there, when a branch behind him snapped .

The chatter from the place stopped, and Damian squeezed his eyes shut, cursing everything. Slowly he turned to the culprit, mouthing at him to ’Move back, you idiot, you’re going to get us caught.’

Someone from the other side of the brush called out, “Hello?”

”Shit.” Damian backed away, and suddenly footsteps began coming towards them. 

“This is private property, you’re trespassing!” The voices were mixing together and the steps getting closer and suddenly he turned, snatching Jon’s hand and bolting, uncaring of how loud it was.

”HEY!” the voices behind them screamed. Jon seemed paler than usual as they burst through the brush out into a clearing with a dirt road leading out. 

“There must be a vehicle around here somewhere, they did not walk down here…” He murmured, glancing around the area. He turned, letting go of the other boy’s hand and smacking him lightly on the cheek, frozen blue eyes coming to attention and locking on his green ones.

“Is Houston having a problem up there, Hayseed?” 

Jon seemed to come back to life, mouth opening and closing with no sound coming out. Finally, he blinked a few times, blurting out “You’re actually clinically insane.”

“So you’ve said.” The shorter boy deadpanned. “Thought you would have done this kind of shit all the time with your track record.” 

Jon attempted to sputter out a response as Damian looked around, finally spotting a few bikes and ATVs hidden behind a small fence.

“Well, when we were gonna get caught, we ran the other fuckin’ way, not towards it!”  He followed Damian, still talking and waving his hands in the air. 

“Keep your voice down.” Damian hissed at him, climbing the wiring and swinging a leg over to the other side. “And move your skinny ass, we’re gonna book it out of here.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Jon retorted, doing as he said anyways. “You’re the most asshole goody-two-shoes teacher’s pet I’ve ever met and a day into getting to know you and we’re on the run and you’re climbing fucking fences and holy shit are you hot-wiring the fucking bike? ”

Damian had produced some small tools from his messenger bag, prying into the closest vehicle, which happened to be a motorcycle. “Yes, now shut up and go pick the lock on the fence.”

He tossed him a kit and waved him away, Jon smirking as he moved towards the lock. “Bold of you to assume I knew how to do that.”

He snorted. “Please, it would be an embarrassment to yourself and your reputation if you couldn’t at least do that .” 

The bike started up, and he swung a leg over it, grinning at the noise of the engine. He guided it over to the entrance, where Jon had successfully opened it. “Get on.” 

”What the hell?” a screech came from where they’d come out of the brush. ”Yo, someone’s jacking your Dad’s Harley!”

Jon needed no more prompting, barely getting on as Damian hit the gas, propelling forwards and zooming past the trail in record time.

He had an iron-clad grip around the other’s waist, fear dissipating as they cleared the area.

 “Holy shit. ” he whispered. “Holy fucking shit.” 

The sun was setting now, painting the sky beautiful colors of orange, pink, yellow, and deep blue. The rush of adrenaline was catching up with him now and the events of what had just happened came crashing down on him. Throwing his head back, he let out a loud laugh, whooping as they shot back into city limits. 

“You didn't leave your mind back there, did you, Kent?” Damian called over the roar of the engine. “I’d hate to have to explain that to your brother.”

Jon was still giggling as he leaned forwards, loosening his grip on the boy in front of him. “No, just the rush. Dude, how’d you learn how to do all of that? Like, God, that was so cool , and if we ever get caught we’re in so much trouble , but it was freaking awesome!”

“I’m glad you thought so.” he responded dryly, slowing the bike down. “We can leave this here, and we’ll walk the rest of the way.”

The sky was close to dark as they walked back up to the nicer areas of the city, pausing at the Waynes’ residence. 

“Thank you for inviting me today,” Damian told him as they reached the gate, the line perfectly practiced. 

Jon stared at him blankly. “This isn't a gala, dude, you don’t have to thank me. You’re a pretty cool guy, not at all what i expected.”

He bumped him on the shoulder gently, the atmosphere softening. “If anything, I should be thanking you, because I haven't had this much fun for a while. I honestly didn’t think you had it in ya, but after this and you kickin’ my ass, i’m pretty sure i misjudged you completely.”

“There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me, Kent.” Damian said after a moment of silence. “But today, you’ve seen more of me than most people have.”

“Friends?”

“I suppose so.” 

[missdarhk]

Hey, uh, I colored on my phone, hope you like it hehe

a headcanon for the winions is that Ody created the creatures themselves, like- anatomicaly, and Polites does all their coloring!

Ody lost his white boy privileges™ sorry my man, you now have freckles and match my epic design

HELLO AHHHHH I LOVE IT SM

laertes is still my fav part I cackled so loud 💀💀💀 and you better STAY IN THE GROUND MF

ody gremlin posing on athenas' shoulders. thats it that's the post. I LOVE THEM YOUR HONOR

apollo and artemis look even cooler colored, the blue streaks? FIREEE

hera owns the color green I do not make the rules

I also love how polites is literally this :D he's just so happy 😭😭 my boy

FRECKLED ODYSSEUS FOR THE WIN!!! WE LOVE TO SEE IT AS #1 FRECKLES STAN I AM VERY GLAD

hippity hoppity your hc is now my property I love the idea that ody made this little fluffball guys and polites is just like COLORS and picks the most vibrant ones

@grape-jucie-dog LOOK ITS THE BLORBOS

[willowisapillow]

💙 Silly Li'l Gremlins ❤️

Another bored shitpost doodle I made :P

For the past few weeks, I’ve been watching those, “People who sound like cartoon characters” compilations on YouTube after having one recommended to me, and I just immediately fell in love with them.

I was cackling so hard at them, like- y’all really need to actually watch some of those videos, most of the people sounded like the characters they’re being compared to lmfao

One of my favorite videos from those compilations was a woman in Walmart screaming like a banshee who sounded like Toad (though I kinda hear a bit of Gingy from Shrek mixed in too haha), and I knew I just had to make a sketch of it. There’s also another clip where it was some guy in some FPS game who sounded like Cartman, and I knew I had to draw that too alongside the Toad sketch.

Also drew this as a late celebration for Cartman’s birthday :D

So uh, yeah, that’s pretty much it. Enjoy a small half-assed sketch of these goobers, I’m out ✌️

[localplaguenurse]

I am just nosy, forgive me. Can you describe each one of your mutuals?

Buckle up people and prepare to get complimented >:3c

First and foremost, they’re all absolute sweethearts to me.

There are my irl friends, such as @wretchedshade, @granolabird, @siriuscitrus and @scales-of-stardust or beta as I usually refer to them. I share the same braincell with these people.

Wretchedshade has been my best friend since we were ten, we’ve been there for each other for 11 years. I initially got her into anime, and then she got me into jojo, and every once in a while we cry about Doukyuusei again. She’s a great artist and is really good at writing sad shit, which is why I write sad shit; to have the glory of finally making her cry. She kicked cancer’s teeth in a few months ago so it’s about goddamn time something good come her way and I WILL fight someone on that.

Granolabird is the dm for my dnd campaign, and like I said, absolute sweetheart, chaotic adhd haver (actually like most of my friend group is like this lmao we’re all queer and neurodivergent). Either way, we used to share thoughts on each other’s original stories, and we still do sometimes but it’s mostly just sending each other tiktoks/reels like “this you” or “this your oc.”

Siriuscitrus is usually pretty hyper, but also tries to be v considerate of everyone’s feelings. If you said that the McDonald’s employee put pickles on your burger when you said no, they’d probably be the one to tell them. They’re also scarily good at vibechecking people and told me I give “future he/they vibes” and like a week later I said “fuck you’re right oh my god.”

You’ve probably seen me and beta’s interactions on here or in the ao3 comments. We enjoy our like playful rivalry/enemyship. I like to torment tease her and she usually gets me back pretty good, it’s all in good fun. It’s also really funny to me whenever we meet up, I tell myself “you are friends with them for reasons other than fic so do not make it about fic” and then we’ll spend literally hours talking about and brainstorming fic ideas. It just Happens.

I’m also gonna add @memory-mortis into here because while we’ve not met irl I’ve introduced him to my friend group. Yet another sweetheart, love her art style a lot, and she was one of the first comments I got on ginkgo trees to motivate me to keep going. I was kinda worried about bringing him into my friendgroup because like if I’m not overthinking I am not thinking At All. I was super relieved and happy that she like IMMEDIATELY fit in with everyone so :D

For some of my other close but only on tumblr/ao3/outside my general friendgroup mutuals! (There are too many so I’m sorry if you’re not here it’s mostly people I interact with more regularly ;-;)

@crimson-ashes who I have occasionally with absolute love called my “askbox gremlin” because they live in my inbox. I need to stress this is affectionate because genuinely, I love opening tumblr and seeing I’ve got asks from them. They gotta stop posting Astarion though because I’m feeling So Tempted to play BG but I know my laptop would kill itself (joking).

@crystalflygeo and I know I’ve called everyone sweethearts but genuinely, she’s probably one of the sweetest people I’ve had the pleasure of talking to. She’s really wholesome (unlike her writing which is never gonna be a complaint in my book, good soup) and super supportive of other people.

@madamemachikonew who’s super polite and really kind. She’s also really creative/smart when it comes to referencing real world art and philosophy in her writing and integrating it into her own worldbuilding. I would have never thought to have done that, and it makes her writing very unique!

We don’t interact as much but @probably-doesnt-exist, @ethve, @euniveve and @ainescribe are such talented artists and super sweet, have literally made me screech and cackle with utter joy whenever they draw the characters from ginkgo trees. I rotate through which art becomes my phone’s lock/home screens.

This is long af but fuck it, I wanna brighten people’s days and I told myself to say “I love you” to my friends and family more, so consider this one big “I love you!” to y’all. It’s a pleasure talking to y’all!

[sleepdeprivedsimp234]

The hc’s under the cut for those that don’t have wattpad:

California: he has a nice laugh I guess. It's kinda a normal laugh, it's just sorta- l o u d. Not annoying to listen to, but loud. I feel like he'd also probably have the stereotypical rich person laugh.

Florida: sounds like a maniac cuz when he laughs it's usually cuz he's actively burning something down or doing something chaotic.

Gov: usually sounds hella nervous as if he doesn't know whether to laugh or not. He's a giggly lil dude tho.

New York: this dude has literally the sweetest laugh ever and it's such a damn shame that it's so rare to hear 😭 Also- he can sound adorable but he can also sound like a f*cking maniac. Sometimes both at the same time.

Texas: his laugh changes so much but usually its a bunch of soft chuckles and giggles, tho sometimes he has a sob-laugh where you can't tell whether he's crying or laughing (probably both). He also has these high pitched cackles that are oddly adorable.

Louisiana: giggly lil gremlin. He has a nice laugh, one that's mainly composed of chuckles and giggles and maybe a few lil snorts if he laughs hard enough. He thinks it's embarrassing when he does laugh hard enough that he snorts, but everyone else thinks is f*ckin adorable.

[evilminji]

Oh god? I am? Cackling? You go to feed the Tiny Terrible Gremlin Noodle... turn your back to grab it food... turn BACK around?

W....why are there TWO now?

Oh dear God no. They're multiplying! D:>

All the Uchiha slowly but surely get one. People are giving THEIRS lil outfits. Because THEIR lil dragon is a Proper Lil Ninja, unlike YOUR little heathen! See? Their precious lil baby has a tiny flackjacket and headband! Or formal kimono! Or lil maid outfit!

Some of them BITE!

And just? You see the most stone faced, humorless, ASSHO.E Uchiha known to man.... waking around with a floppy lil noodle dragon baby sprawled around their shoulders or tucked like a toddler in their arms. Draped over their heads going :p with elevator music going on behind the eyes.

And you just? D... do you MENTION it?

You look the hardass nin in the humorless murder eyes. You think not. Nope! That is apparently their lil precious baby boy and you're NOT TOUCHIN THAT™! Ha ha... you wanna live!

They don't blink, still the human equivalent of being slowly and emotionlessly choked to death on a cold winter's night, as they feed their small adorable lil noodle friend a wittle tweat. Because he's being very well behaved and they spoil him.

It apparently SUPER COMMON?

All the "We Are Ninja, We Have No Humor And Are All Assholes" Uchiha Clan are all walking around AGGRESSIVELY pack bonded to these lil noodle creatures and just? DUMPING all the backed up "I got to LOVE SO HARD YOU DONT UNDERSTAND AAAAA-" Hormones and instincts onto this presumably safe outlit?

It's a dragon! That's safe right? They're allowed to get Weird Uchiha Clingy I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'LL BURN EVERTHING 5EVA AAAAAAA-!!!! *cough* I mean... enotionally attached. Not like a dragon baby can be an enemy agent. Or die on you. They'll out live you! Very sturdy.

Obviously everyone has to steal one.

They're so CUTE! And feisty!

Oh god :Dc a Danny Summons Contract

No you guys DON'T UNDERSTAND-!

Just. Danny! Only Danny! He fucked up. Some ancient Warring States Ninja fucked up. They BOTH agreed to NEVER talk about it again.

Cause like? That ninja? Was a GROWN ASS MAN. A qualified BAMF of the highest order. He WAS the Danger, thank you very much. So, he? Will NEVER live down being saved by...well...

*holds up wildly struggling, noodle limbed, sad wet raccoon havin a terrible day lookin, meat thresher on legs*

THIS.

It's a BABY. Honestly, his Clan's TODDLERS know how to throw better punch. This scrawny infant baby child is both? His new son. AND an embarrassing trainwreck in motion. FFS kid, that's not how you- No! NO! Don't you DARE bite that opponent! You don't know where they've B-!

Kid they could have BEEN POISONED!!! Spit um OUT! DROP UM! Drop that RIGHT NOW! What are you? A dead Inuzuka? A god forsaken Hatake!? DROP IT!!!

It...sure is An Adventure™.

One of many early "here's how you DON'T make a Summoning contract" experiments, that Clans without seal masters were attempting. He's honestly lucky HIS attempt ended with him still... you know... ALIVE. Problem, though? After bunking for like... a few months? A year? In the command center?

And you know, terrorizing the GIW into complete collapse. Parenting him through some pretty serious life changes. Somehow making Sam MORE terrifying. And a whole host of off screen ninja shenanigans? They figure out? Oh. Only way to send him HOME is to either accept or refuse a Contract.

They gotta make one.

First they head to Frostbite for a recommendation, then? Off to a reputable Ghost Lawyer they go! They have to camp in the waiting room for like... a week. But? Worth it! The contract is AMAZING. And terrifying! Protects them both. Can't be used against EITHER. And that loophole you're thinking off? Ten pages worth of point 4 script, twenty three yards down, for why it's a BAD IDEA and breaks contract~!

Neither of them can make the other do SHIT! Only fully consensual, mutually beneficial, ass kicking here! If we FEEL LIKE IT!

Ninja dad insisted. Never sign a contract with anything less then extreme paranoia, kid! Leave no "implied" or "spirit of the rules"! Loopholes are holes in your armor, with which your enemy stabs you in the back!

Danny, tearfully, sends ninja dad home.

Gross. Emotions all over his armor. If only there wasn't all this sand in his eyes, he'd definitely complain about it. *stoic ninja hug*

Danny? Become a king. One of many. An Ancient. Becomes FUCKING HUUUUUUUUGE. Like? "Aw, your city is so pwecious~☆ n smol~♡! Whats it called again? New York?" Huge. A fuckin LEVIATHAN made of void, stars, and space ice. A Winter corpse, marked by lightning, that became the night sky itself. With a crown of aurora borealis, ever shifting, like flame.

Proportional, in a way, to Summon Bosses. Just as a normal human is to a normal toad, a normal cat, a normal slug. So too, is Danny LARGER then them.

You know... when he feels like it.

The contract? Passes down. Ninja dad does warn his kin. Prooooobably not gonna answer you. He only answers ME cause I'm, well, ME.

Fuckin BET. They declare. And lose. Repeatedly.

Time marches on. The Senju and Uchiha has their Drama. Dear KAMI do they Have Their Drama. Please Stop, says everyone. They... do not. The contract? Fuckin STOLEN. Because of course it is.

It's a HUGE, glowing, death radiating Summons Contract kept in a shrine behind like... SO MANY seals. It makes anyone less then a full grown JOUNIN physically SICK to even touch! Prolonged exposure kills people! Of COURSE it gets fuckin stolen. It's obviously a super, mega, ultra rare AMAZEBALLS Summon Contract... right?

Eeeeeeeeeeeh *so-so hand motion* KINDA!

It IS technically that.

They ain't wrong. Cause Danny IS an Adult now. A King. Connected to the Zone. An ANCIENT. Beyond and Above his mortal origins, even as, by being a Halfa, he is utterly the same. That contract is as close as one could GET to having a contract with the Sage himself.

You know... if he answered you.

Felt like your petty bullshit was worth getting up off the couch for.

Not to MENTION? He can make clones! Like.... billions of them now. Has a skeleton army. Is kinda one of the stronger Ancients. But that's not the point. The POINT? Clones. Don't have to be EQUAL facets of self.

You CAN make a .00001% clone of yourself!

Behold *summons poof noise* Lil Baby Man!

The harbinger of Danny! Here to Test Your VIBEZ™. He sends them each time. To be an adorable menace. Cause problems on purpose. Be gremlins, chew on table legs, maybe. You know, the works! They RADIATE his " I Am Death." Energy. But also his "winter, protection, and starlight" vibes... if you're brave enough to LOOK.

If you don't flinch away from a spirit of the dead. Can embrace the chaotic nature of a Zone ghost. Are kind to something that isn't what you expected, that you can USE, that appears weaker then you. Something that seems dumb. Distractable. Useless in battle.

Can you be kind? Do you immediately give up? To recognize a test when you see one? Is your first impulse cruelty? Distain? It tells Danny a lot. Saves him time.

Which? Is how a young Itachi, freshly Jounin'd, gets thrown through an old and rotting wooden gate into what LOOKS like a vaguely demonic death shrine. Hmmm, concerning. Baby 'tachi has been separated from his teammates. Is having a Bad Time™. The crows can't really help much here.

And, well, that IS a Summoning contract...

He's outnumbered. Low on both weapons and Chakra. Refuses to do anything BUT return home to his family. His baby brother. Is it WISE? No. It is in fact, incredibly, incredibly UNWISE. He has no idea what he'll be agreeing too. But... so long as he live just a bit longer...

He slams an earth wall against the entrance.

Falls back to the Glowing Contract.

Stumbles, as even landing near it makes his insides revolt. His skin prickle and burn. Colder then the nine tails Chakra, emptier, yet somehow endlessly more ABSOLUTE.

It's like the very Chakra in his body screams against it. Rejects it's mere presence. As though all thing alive REFUSE it with desperation and fear. He has no time to muse upon this. It hurt his hand to touch. He does so anyway. Struggling to hold the earthwall against enemy attacks.

He doesn't bother to read the contract. Flings it from the pedestal, to unravel, so he may sign quickly. There. With a practiced motion, he nicks his finger, and scrawls his future away. Whatever demons may come. Whatever monsters this brings. Please... let him live long enough to say goodbye.

The world CRACKS as he summons.

Death and the Shinigami are not the same.

Even those without the ability to sense are battered by the tsunami of... not killing intent. No. There is no intent. No killing. Just... knowing. Heraldry. That Death comes for us all. You can not escape. Foolish and small, is this what you waste your existence on? Ants before a god. Dust before the heavens. He... he can not... breathe...

Frozen. Eyes wide. Sharigan spinning, spinning, spinning. Capturing the delicate lace of nothingness, absence of life, as it drifts by. Unable to move from where he kneels, bloody hand pressed to the ground, in a Summoning.

What Has He Done?

Outside there is panic. Screaming. They flee. He... he wishes he could flee. W...why can't he-? *THHHWAP!* Mmmmph?! Something small and almost bird shaped smacks into his face like a flung ration. Tiny arms spread wide to cling to his bangs and dangle. The deathy power fades... almost... almost as though it were... a threat display?

He focuses on the tiny creature whining and hugging his face. It... is a floating snake toddler? Or is it dragon? They have sharp little claws and stars along their face, a tiny whispy mane of white. Likely a dragon child then. They stick their small tounge out slightly, eyes the blankly trusting stare of small children everywhere.

He clearly want to be carried. Ah. Of course, little one.

Did... did he agree to raise a dragon?

Just?

Itachi, smol. Serious. With lil baby man floped on his head or tucked lovingly in his arms. The TEXTBOOK definition of "he don't bite" "YES HE DO!!!" For everyone but Itachi and Sasuke. To whom he is, of course, an INNOCENT BABY who has NEVER done anything wrong EVER. An angel! Why is everyone being so MEAN to poor innocent baby man? Boo hoo~!

It fucks up SO MANY plans.

Because Itachi. A smol child. INSISTS he is a Father now. What are you going to do? Say he can be? Why? Because he's a CHILD? Which is it? Is he a Jounin or a Dependant? An adult in the eyes of the law or a child to be protected by said law from pushing him off to war? Old enough to die, old enough to parent his dragon son!

And SORRY Father, he CANT join Anbu. Who would be there for his child? Ah, he should join a parenting group. *various competent parent instincts go haywire over this tiny Uchiha child in need of parenting* Danzo? For some reason his son seems to really, REALLY hate him. Better avoid him. His child doesn't know yet not to bite respected elders.

Sasuke? Gets to be an UNCLE! To a DRAGON! He takes his job very seriously.

It's the best PR the clan has ever had.

@hdgnj @babbling-babull @hypewinter @nerdpoe @the-witchhunter @legitimatesatanspawn @lolottes @mutable-manifestation

[ruffled-serpent]

In reference to this post of mine

[book-place]

Mishaps

Warnings: Wade (yes, he deserves his own warning), cursing, fire, let me know if I missed any :)

Pairings: Wade Wilson x reader platonic, Avengers x reader platonic <crossover>

*not my gif*

Summary: You and Wade aren’t that chaotic… right?

A/N: In honor of… you know who joining 👀

Please don’t plagiarize my work, you may reblog if you like but I’m asking that you don’t steal my hard work

“He’s… coming here?” Steve asked hesitantly, sharing a concerned glance with Natasha from beside him.

Your eyes narrowed slightly at the duo, glancing back and forth between them, “Yeah? So?”

A sigh left the blonde's lips, “Listen, n/n, it’s just that last time he was here… you know…”

“You blew up half the tower.” The redhead filled in bluntly, taking a sip from her coffee mug.

You scoffed a little bit, rolling your eyes and crossing your arms defensively, “I think you’re being a bit dramatic.”

“It’s true!” Clint piped up from the couch, not even looking away from whatever television show he was watching, “The two of you have a wave of destruction and chaos following wherever you go.”

From beside him, Tony cried out a small, “Amen, Katniss.”

A frown tugged at your lips as you looked over at the men, considering their words for a moment, before letting out a laugh and shaking your head, “You guys are crazy! Wade and I don’t get into that much trouble!”

“Wade’s here?” The terrified voice of Bruce Banner piped up from the doorway, evidently only hearing the last part of the conversation.

None of you were able to get a word in before he turned on his heel, muttering to himself, “Oh, no. I can't deal with this, that man gives the big guy and I so much stress-“ The ending of his sentence was lost as he turned the corner back the way he came.

Right on cue, the elevator door opened with a ‘ding’ and your best friend stepped out, clad in black and white, with his arms spread out wide in greeting, “Ding dong, bitches!” He called out cheerfully.

“Wade!” You cheered, pumping a fist into the air in excitement as you skipped over to him.

“Heya, Sunshine!” He greeted back equally as cheerfully, and like the gremlin demons you were, you both disappeared from your team's vision without a trace.

“Should we be worried?” Steve asked after a moment of silence.

Natasha sighed and nodded, having another sip of coffee, “Very.” Came her reply.

-•-

You and Wade watched hummed to the song that floated from the speakers, skipping around the kitchen happily with bowls wrapped in your arms.

Both of you had decided early on into Deadpool’s visit to bake cookies that both of you could bring on patrol that night instead of wasting money on overpriced snacks like you normally would.

“How many eggs did it say to do, again?” You frowned down at the bowl in your arm and the partially cracked egg in the other.

He shrugged lightly, “Don’t remember, just put a bunch in and we’ll offset it with a shit-ton of sugar that’ll give you the best sugar-high you’ve ever had!”

A wicked grin spread on your face, “Magnificent.” You mimicked an evil voice that had Wade bent over cackling.

All of a sudden, he paused what he was doing and stuck his nose up in the air like a dog, inhaling a big breath without a word.

“Do you smell burnt pigeons?” He asked.

You copied his previous motions, eyebrows furrowing for a whole moment before widening, realization hitting both of you at the same time.

“The chicken nuggets!” You both screeched in sync, lunging for the oven.

Right when you had started baking, you had both claimed to be hungry enough to eat three horses, but apparently forgot about the food that you had been heating up for yourselves.

As soon as you threw the oven door open, a loud popping sound was emitted, and the chicken nuggets expanded from the inside, destroying and exploding them everywhere.

You and Wade stood in silence for a moment, mourning the loss of what would have been an amazing meal, but then the remains that had flown everywhere began to catch on fire from the intense heat settings you had failed to turn off.

Terrified squeals left both of your lips as you turned on your heels and booked out of the room, leaving the fire problems behind with it.

-•-

The two of you had planned on telling someone about it, you truly had, but somehow the two of you had ended up in the gaming room as you ran away, finding the Nintendo switch and challenging one another to a race without a second thought.

About halfway through the tournament, a yell of horror sounded through the tower, bouncing off the walls until it reached your ears.

You both paused the game, turning to look at one another in confusion, recognizing Bruce’s scream anywhere- especially after all the pranks you had pulled on him in the past.

“Y/n! Wade!” Steve’s pissed off voice was also able to reach your ears from where you could assume he was from the kitchen.

Your eyes both widened, having completely forgotten about the little kitchen situation until then, and at the same time you breathed out, “Shit.”

We are Groot 🤎- @lovanitu @jvdethirlwall @ineedmorefanfics2 @sambucky8 @spidyyparker @irethepotato @femalemarvelself @mukbee @its-hell @ip747 @i-writes-things @popfishjr

[rogueddie]

The night had been going so well- amazing, in fact.

Even Eleven had been having a good time, sitting with Steve, watching the boys and Erica playing D&D. Eddie was enthralling; the way he told the story, jumping up out of his seat when he got too into the characters, cackling like a witch when the kids fell for another one of his traps.

Even though Hopper called for them to wrap up early, cutting off what seems to be an important part of Eddies campaign, they don't complain… much.

Even when they hang out with the girls, most of the boys leaving. Erica and Max are sleeping over, Nancy staying the night to help keep an eye on the kids (an excuse so she can spend more time with Jonathon but Hopper holds her to her promise of babysitting so he can properly relax with Joyce).

Steve and Eddie stay a little longer, only because Mike does and it's the only way Hopper will actually let Eleven shut the door. It's awkward, sitting there with Eddie whilst two kids try to have a romantic moment, but Steve never minds. They deserve to have those little moments where they can be two dumb kids in love.

Even though it resulted in Eleven and Max ganging up on him, Erica grabbing him gently around the neck in a playful headlock. It had seemed like meaningless fun, too. The girls thought he'd look pretty with make up and he'd rolled his eyes, warning them that he was going to immediately take it off.

Which is how he ended up here, in the bathroom, trying not to sob.

They really went all out with the makeup, is the problem. They had said something about not using some things because it wouldn't match his skin tone, going a little heavy with the blush instead, but its nice; the pink isn't too harsh even though it is bright, making his cheekbones stand out a little more.

And the eyeshadow? The almost yellow green on the inner corner, rounding over the crease to bracket the almost-turquoise on the outer part of his lid? The way it blends together? The purple on his lower lid too, with the mascara and paper thin eyeliner?

Steve likes it.

Not just because he's impressed with the girls skills- he is- but… he likes it. He likes how his face face looks, likes how feminine it is, likes how pretty he looks. He wants so desperately to keep it on. But he wants to take it off. Wants to scrub his skin until he bleeds, making sure there's not a drop left on his skin. He wants to hate it.

There's a quiet knock on the door.

"Steve? Can I come in?" Eddie's voice is oddly gently.

Steve takes a moment, tries to collect himself, reluctantly opening the door. "Sorry, didn't mean to take so long, it-"

Eddie pushes Steve back into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. "You're upset."

"What? I'm fine. It's fine."

Eddie just raises an eyebrow.

"It's..." Steve glances towards the mirror. "They did a really good job, huh?"

"They did. It looks pretty. You like it?"

"No. No, it's... it's just impressive, you know, and-"

"Steve, calm down," Eddie grabs his shoulders. "Deep breathes. You're ok. You're safe with me, ok? I wear eyeliner all the time. It's ok."

"It's ok?"

"It's ok." Eddie stares at him for a moment. He then shifts around him, pulling out some wet wipes. "These are specific for make-up, if you decide to take it off. It's up to you. So... you want me to hang around or distract the gremlins?"

"Could you distract the kids? I, uh..."

"Ok. Take your time."

Eddie offers him a little smile, a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

Steve feels a little calmer, a little less freaked out. He still finds it odd that Eddie, of all people, is the one who makes him feel calm and safe. But not even his reassurances make him feel safe enough to keep the make-up on.

He remembers what Eddie said about the eyeliner...

Maybe next time.