#*points at post* my entire personality. in a nutshell

[illamda-spaminations]

I find it so interesting that during the Twisted Hearts OP, when the song goes "I feel you sins all the time", they showed Mycroft and Albert respectively. While Mycroft does not understand/know everything that's going on with the LOC and Moriarty & co., I do believe he understands how Albert feels, especially about taking the punishment on himself.

For example: This scene in MTP, post-Final problem

He understands because he knows Albert and, more importantly, he has been there, it's just the circumstances and the consequences of the decision is very different. The reason he dedicated his life to working for the government was because of his father's involvement in the French Revolution. He wanted to repent on behalf of him, so he decided to take on that punishment, protecting Sherlock in the process. Albert does something very similar, he takes on the atonement so Louis doesn't have to. He believes Louis deserves so much more than punishment; he deserves a fulfilling life, a happy one, or at least as happy as it can get, and above all, the one who should reap the crops William sown [I should REALLY make a separate post on Louis ye gods-].

Mycroft could've let the Moriarty brothers do what they saw fit, as long as he was spared from the brutality, but instead he threatens them. If they don't put the country's future and prosperity first, Mycroft will personally "annihilate" him [his words not mine].

This scene really goes to show that Mycroft is genuinely dedicated to the Empire, he is very intent to serve for the country's future, but it's not blind loyalty, it's him being bound to it, it's the least he could do to make up for his father's sins [sins of the father am I right?] and it's the same for Albert. He and Mycroft love their younger brothers, to the point of sacrificing themselves in order to protect them, to make sure they live as they please, free of guilt. The difference is that Mycroft changed over time, he started to loosen up. The first time we see him outside of his office for non-work related matters was with meeting everyone in the dinner party. And for Albert? Time stopped turning entirely. The moment he entered the tower was the moment he couldn't go back. It was him, his thoughts and the messages from Mycroft to distract him. The only person who could convince him to come out of his prison and start living was William; because William's actions, sins, guilt and will to die was the very reason why Albert chose his punishment.

In comparison, Mycroft's self enforced punishment was lighter to Albert's. While Mycroft has to deal with constant stress [this is not really canon, but considering that he's referred to as the government, yeaaaaa I think he's gonna be stressed af] and grief, Albert had to deal with a spiral towards insanity, grief, religious guilt for the Moriarty plan and his compulsive thoughts. And he's sure as hell isn't going to stand on his own for a while after that.

Another thing [this time it's actually related to my point :0] is exactly when the two show up. Mycroft shows up around the lyrics "I feel your sins" while albert shows up around "all the time", which further proves my point. Since Sherlock and William showing up around the point of "I can't feel your love but I can give you love" basically describes Sherlock's goal of saving William and their relationship in a nutshell.

"I don't know if you see me as a friend but I'll see you like that anyway, and save you, just like what I would do to another friend."

What's not to say the same can be true to Mycroft and Albert?

"I can never truly understand what you are going through, but I will always understand how you feel."

[puckpocketed]

So do you actually believe PLD is a good player or is that part of the bit?

The PLD Post

i spent a good 2 days giggling about this to friends. i cant tell if ur a curious caps fan, a person who knows me from my other teams, a disgruntled kings fan (i’ve mostly ruled this out because im pretty sure i know all of the active ones on here) or WHAT. but i’m laughing. the tone of this ask is hilarious and vaguely accusatory but i will take it in good faith and answer <3 tl;dr yes and no. he’s better than people think he is rn, but he’s likely never going to live up to the potential of his tools unless something . idk. recalibrates his entire being. who knows!

i was working on something longer and more complex but i thought about it for more than 5 seconds and i REFUSE to go hockey-bro mode and pull out the microstats and i don’t wanna make this into a full on PLD manifesto. so. caps girlies (gn) HERE are your adoption papers under the cut!

if you are looking at pierre luc dubois who is 6’4 + 220lb and thinking “Oh he’s a power forward” i have to inform you he is in fact THEEE smallest mouse to ever play hockey in the whole world and in all of history. he sips nectar out of a thimble and sleeps curled up in a match box and goes fishing in a boat made from nutshells and twigs . he’s big, but he sort of plays small.

this is not necessarily a bad thing — he relies on foot speed and skill over hitting.

he can throw hits but prefers to stick check. he leverages his big frame to guard the puck and to defend, and it makes him simultaneously VERY effective and very much what i like to call a Nexus Of Crime. he is either drawing ten thousand penalties because people have to do something to stop him from driving the net with speed OR he is taking ten thousand penalties because he gets eager in the corners.

PLUS he’s huge and refs do just assume he’s committing a crime when they can’t see what’s going on <3 hence, Nexus Of Crime! if there’s a penalty he’s probably involved LMAO

not a “dirty” player by any means. not physical unless he decides he wants to. and there is no violence inside of him unless he’s deeply horsebonded to his team <- IMPORTANT re; playoffs aspirations. you won’t see him put himself on the line simply for the love of the game, he HAS to be committed to the team.

to be committed to his team… i’m honestly not sure what that takes. i’d guess a combination of knowing his role on the ice and in the locker room (this was very unclear on lak) consistency of messaging from coaches (also seemed to be an issue on lak)

i know nothing about caps coaching or management or the team vibes but i’m sure you can fix him <3 i’m ready to fall in love and ride this team to the sunset

this failhorse will NOT shoot the puck and if he does it will be the saddest soggiest most pathetic shot you’ve ever seen. you will tear your hair out in chunks if you watch him expecting an elite goalscorer.

he’s a pass-first guy. likes to drop pass! likes to drive play from the middle but is also capable of getting pucks off the boards. he needs a finisher on his wing. i could pull up stats here, there are stats to be pulled up, but i know this in my HEART from watching dozens of kings games: he would have had 10-15 more points easily if he wasn’t stapled to the 3rd line and had better finishers. many times i watched him tee up a very good opportunity only for his guy to miss the net or fan or just get knocked off the puck

individually, he thrives in front of the net. his ass is fat and he’s about to use it to screen the goalie. hes good at catching loose pucks in the crease to send them home <3 see his performance at worlds. he scored basically all of his goals right up there!!

most media coverage/narratives will tell you his point production dropped off bc of effort (which is true) but even the MOST resentful kings watchers will say pld wasn’t given his best shot playing with inexperienced+fringe nhlers, being line shuffled the moment he got a bit comfortable, and also not getting ANY net front time on the lak pp. i factor this into all my judgements of his performance.

He’s def earned his diva rep LMAO!! this is personal opinion here but he seems like a sensitive and easily rattled little clam… like he will have a couple of bad shifts and if there’s nobody there to shake him out of it he’ll lose his grasp on the game and play like shit <3 a rolling joke on kingstwt was figuring out which PLD we were getting that game, and you could tell by his 5th if he was switched on or off!!

they hate him for this but EYE think this is nothing new for athletes and if he can consistently stay in the zone he’ll probably be pretty good. mental fortitude of a wet tissue my beloved….

moving onto the Vibes section!! he was always good humoured in media availability and didn’t shy away from scrums even when public opinion soured against him and critiques of both his hockey and his character had reached a fever pitch. i like this about him. he always gave authentic answers and tried his best to accomodate them, and never hid behind his captains.

he gets along quite well with teammates despite the narratives. no seriously!! some of the the kings had a hang out during off-season right before they went to worlds!! there’s bisexual lighting!!!!

there’s interviews from old jets teammates that are just like. “he used to turn up at my house with his dog and text IM HERE with no warning and that’s how we became friends” or “his obsession with euro soccer teams bewitched me”. he had control of the aux cord. he was a den mother and planned group gatherings. a genuine sweetheart to every teammate he’s ever had!!

I don’t think he’s some. idk. secret 100 point producing star 1C. but i truly believe with the right environment he’ll probably hit 60 points again.

thank you for your time if you made it this far and i hope to see you all in the trenches (caps lb) next season 👍

[petercaths]

Jack and Kate first meeting rant:

Idek where to start with this, so it’ll be very rambly. Actually, I’ll do bullet points that seems easier.

• I saw a post a few weeks ago that attempted to bash Jate’s first meeting by presenting how Jate is entirely self-serving to Jack’s characterization (which I disagree with, both the purpose of the first meeting, and Jate only being there to serve Jack).

• I think Jate’s first meeting is a nutshell of what these two characters do for each other; Kate is a source of trust for Jack, perhaps the biggest he has. The fact that he’s able to give her this story in the first place is so monumental for who he is as a character. Especially as we see the flashbacks unfold. But in this moment, Jack NEEDS someone to stick by him, someone to literally fix him in the way we see him ‘fixing’ others in the aftermath of the plane crash.

• He tells the story for himself, because he’s terrified. But he says it for Kate too. And here-in comes what Jack offers Kate, which is inspiration and a source of strength— probably the biggest source of strength she has on that island.

• I’d say for Kate, it really comes down to; once upon a time she fell from the sky, and a man asked her to help him. To fix him. To do something good. And she doesn’t think she can do it. I mean, Kate in that moment is disoriented and terrified, and she’s letting that fear take over her senses, and Jack sees that and so he tells her his story. He tells her it’s okay to be afraid, it’s okay to let yourself take a beat, but then you have to keep going.

• And you visibly see Kate take comfort in this, and you see her visceral change because not only is someone comforting her, they’re comforting her while she’s also doing something for them. After all the guilt she feels for the aftermath of what she’s done, she finally has a chance to do something that saves people.

• But, I think what’s even more interesting about the way this scene presents both characters, is that with Jack we see the breaking of a facade. I mean, his very first moment is him running into burning wrecked to help people, and presumably having everything under control. So, this moment kinda deconstructs what we were being shown 5 minutes ago. And again, there’s that talk about trust. In s3 Jack asks Kate to retell this story because it’s probably the most personal thing he’s ever told anyone. So the only way HE can trust that she’s safe, is to have her recite it to him.

• With Kate, it is the aftermath of the scene that best serves her character. She tells Jack “if that were me I would’ve run…” and he says “you’re not running now.” And whilst Kate may be a very good runner, it’s something that has brought nothing but misery to her life. She hates it. She wishes she didn’t have to do it. And in the aftermath of the crash, when Jack asks for her name, she has the opportunity to lie. She has the opportunity to re-invent herself. But she doesn’t take it, because the simple act of helping someone else— and having that someone believe in her— is enough to make her want to stop running. It’s a kindness she hasn’t been shown before, and she carries it with her for the rest of the series. When she’s with Jack, Kate doesn’t want to run.

• And then we have the visual storytelling for Kate. She goes to the cockpit with Jack, the bear attacks, and Kate runs away. But when she doesn’t see Jack, and realizes she’s lost him— she lets the fear in the way he taught her. And then she goes back for him. She goes back.

• And it’s through this that we start to learn the type of person Kate is. Someone who runs, maybe. But also someone who has the strength to not leave others behind, even when it would be better for her if she did (as we then see in 1x03 with the farmer).

Anyways that’s my Jate rant for today ✌️

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Wednesday Fandom :) More of that pining/slow burn in this one. I saw a post that said ‘The greatest things take the longest time.’ That is Chenford in a nutshell. The buildup and reward are so good. This one is fantastic for so many reasons. Also we get rid of the dead weight that is Ashley in this one. The symbolism in this one is very poignant. So let’s get going.

5x05 The Fugitive

A foot chase starts our ship off in this one. Tim takes down one of the suspects with an impressive takedown. Sexy af until he injures himself. Lucy pulls up and is on it immediately for him. Tim is clearly in pain and Lucy is instantly worried. Asking if he’s ok? Tim being Tim brushes it off. Saying it was just the take down. He tweaked his back is all. Then grimaces some more. Activating worried wifey mode to the max. You no longer have a choice in this now Timothy. She has decided you are going to the hospital and that is that sir. This is not up for debate. At all. Weird place or not you are her person and she will make sure you are taken care of. That’s instinctual.

This next scene is the epitome of stubborn husband and exasperated wife. Tim comes gimping into the hospital. Lucy is hot on his trail worry pouring out of her. Nolan starts to update Tim on the fugitive loose in the hospital. Lucy cuts John off and says he’s not there as a supervisor. Damn girl you just take the lead for your man.

Idk what’s more telling to those around them. That Lucy is in wifey mode taking over for Tim. Or That Tim starts to fight her then gives in. Either way acting married af right now. Or as I saw in some tags we could call this scene ‘Where wives don’t believe their husbands.’ LOL From the minute he started hurting worried wife was activated.

She is not giving up till you are seen Tim. She is so exasperated with him when he says ‘Ok I’m not fine.’ Like yeah it’s what I’ve been telling you this entire time you stubborn ox of a man haha She's so gentle in helping him sit in that second gif though. Mad he won't listen but soft when he needs her. Mixture of extremely worried and infuriated with him.

Lucy is doing her search for the fugitive when she runs into Tim’s room. Awkward central. She wasn’t expecting Ashley. haha Tells them she's just looking for bad guys...Tim doesn’t let her leave yet asking how the search is going? Asking If Nolan is leaving a cop on every floor? Lucy’s incredulous look and sass reply are the best. ‘Yes we’ve been cops for more than ten seconds.’ Lucy stays long enough to be present for the doctor. He explains it's an old injury flaring up.

It's from when he was shot few years back. Ashley's reaction to a bullet makes me roll my eyes. He’s a cop those tend to be apart of the deal….The doctor telling him the injury from a few years ago is a problem now. There was a fragment that was too complicated to move at the time. So they left it there. Tim tries to relax Ashley and say he was ‘Just shot’ not a big deal. Trying to downplay it. Lucy bragging she saved his life on day one. It was a big deal heh I mean it really was... His hot shot in action saved his life.

Tim ignores her comment and let's the doctor finish. He says the fragment has traveled and is now closer to his spinal column. It’s pressing on a nerve now. So they need to do surgery to remove it. Tim says 'Ok…when?' Wifey jumps in not Ashley and asks ‘Hold on, what are the risks?’ The doctor must’ve thought Ashley was Tim’s sister and Lucy was the spouse at this point. He has to. The way Lucy is acting is that of a worried wife. Asking questions and not just sitting there as the doctor speaks.

The doctor answers Lucy’s question by saying ‘They’re talking about the spine so it’s risky..’ The silent communication above oh my word. He doesn’t look to Ashley for comfort when the doc says this. No no. He looks to his person for it. The way he flits his eyes over to her. The writing was on the wall for Ashley in this one in so many ways. Let’s not forget his GF is standing right next to him as he does this.

Literally right there as they have this mini silent convo with his soulmate. How this woman wasn’t consistently threatened by Lucy I’ll never understand. When his panic and worry start to pile up who does he look to? His girl. Such a short moment with so much meaning attached to it. They’ve been each other’s safe place and harbor for a long time.

So naturally he would look to Lucy not his GF in this moment. Ashley is so far past her expiration date at this point she's starting to smell. Gah their chemistry is out of the world good. This moment above a reflection of that. Also Lucy’s reaction to the doctor saying it’s risky. *heart clutch*

Tim opts to do the surgery even though it’s risky. It’s better than doing nothing. He says it could be laparoscopic and he’ll be home by dinner. Look at Lucy’s panic in that first gif. She was not done with grilling that doctor. Nor was she done talking to Tim about this. But sadly she's not his SO and can't have more input. If she was his wife that doctor would’ve spent little longer in that room. You can tell how antsy and worried she is.

Looking at Tim with that same amount of worry. Lucy touches her tattoo. Her go to when she’s super stressed and overwhelmed. Her heart is hurting she can’t be the one comforting him. Can't be the one grilling the doctor some more and having a say in this. It’s killing her. Since she can’t do anything more she opts to leave. Also Ashley comforting Tim is not something she wants to see anyway. It’s hurting her to watch tbh.

So Lucy gets awkward and says she’s gonna get back to the search. Being in the room isn't something she can stand at this point. So she takes off back where she came from. Where do Tim’s eyes go? Not to Ashley. To Lucy who just left the room. We all know he’s not with Ashley because he loves her.

It’s just comfortable and safe because he can’t be with Lucy. Breaks my damn heart. All his feelings were showing in this scene. 100% of them towards Lucy in this moment. Look at that man above. His heart just walked out of the room and it shows. He wanted her to stay but there wasn’t a reason for her to. You’re so in love with her Timothy. It's painfully obvious at this point.

Lucy comes to see Grey after he collapsed in front of her. He got food poisoning from breakfast place they went to. Ashley did him a solid by having him not eat bread I guess...Lucy is so cute when she comes in saying it’s like a sleepover LOL Never change Lucy Chen never change. This makes me laugh so very much. First I wanna say I love Grey trusting her enough to run the station. That’s amazing.

Second it's hilarious because they both need her to get a move on. With Smitty in charge god only knows what’s happening without them. When she arrives he’s already given a friend day off….Lucy asks what he’s doing? Tells her 'When you’re in charge you let your friends go home early.' OMG lol Lucy is panicked and says but we’re short today…Reminding him they’re understaffed due to the units on the hospital. Smh. This is why they sent her back...

We return to Ashley back in his room. Talking about how Tim could retire if he wanted. Be on disability/pension if this surgery keeps him from working. Move out of LA. It’s insane to me she would even suggest this. But not surprising. The thing I didn’t like about Ashley was her constantly molding Tim into her version. Once again vapid is the perfect description for Ashley.

Not having him strive to be a better person like Lucy does. Because she is blah and doesn’t challenge him. Just wanted her version of him. Where Lucy challenges him and makes him want to be better. Loves him for who he is. Ashley just keeps trying to shove Tim into a box. Her box of who she thinks he should be like. Not loving him for who he is.

Lucy loves every part of this man. Warts and all and vice versa. Trying to take away being a cop to be a beach bum? Outside of LA? She doesn’t know the man lying next to her at all. Why you ask? Oh you know just those glaring communication issues they've had since day one. This goes all the way back to 4x10 with Kojo. It's not gotten any better.

Because of this lack of communication she’s only gotten surface level Tim. The Tim that doesn’t want to rock the boat. So he is just going with it. Better than making waves. D brought up an excellent point in 4x21 in her comments. About him not fighting her because of his PTSD with Isabel. Her saying he was too rigid. Tim is over correcting now where he’s not even himself at this point. Possibly agreeing to this ‘Life plan’ of hers. Just going through the motions because he has to.

He doesn’t want to be alone and he can’t be with Lucy. It’s insanely heartbreaking when you break it down like this. Tim is losing who he is in this relationship. Just to please a person he doesn’t even love. To quell anxieties his ex-wife thrust upon him. We see him hesitate because it’s a life he doesn’t really want. Makes me mad as I write this. Tim deserves so much better.

Tim goes to stretch his legs while he still can. He sees the fugitive and tries to stop him. Oh my Timothy why would you do this being so hurt? Because he's a lawman first and foremost that's why. Not that Ashley get’s that....I wanna cry with how much pain he’s in. Gah Eric killing me softly. We see his bravado disappear in an instant. Tim then thinks of the two most important women in his life. His sister and his girl. No no not bloody Ashley. Lucy. Sends Ashley to call his sister.

When Grey makes it over he tells him not to tell Lucy. Knowing she would drop EVERYTHING to be by his side. Tim putting her first even when he's in danger himself. Does he not see what a husband move this is? I’m sure Wade does. Minute Ashley is gone he tells him not to tell Lucy. Fierce protector reporting for duty even when he’s hurting. If Lucy saw him grimacing like he is she would lose her damn mind. He knows this and decides to keep her out of the loop because of it.

Lucy sees a bunch of cops leaving and is panicking. They say Smitty is letting them leave early. Harper comes up and Lucy asks for her help. Nyla knowing Lucy is a BAMF saying all she has to do is say different. I adore the way Harper builds her up in this moment. Filling in those gaps still when Tim can’t. It’s amazing. Letting her know she has their respect.

With everything she’s been through and done for others. No way these cops wouldn’t have her back if she asked for it. Lucy tells them what’s going on. How spread thin they are and she needs them. Jan nods and says ‘You got it Chen.’ Love this for her. Smitty comes up and ask if she’s in charge? She says yeah I guess. He looks so relieved and hands the reins over HA

Here comes the scene where I wanna drop kick Ashley into a volcano. I think I’ve been much harsher on Chris than I have her so far. But this is where that changes. Tim is just getting out of surgery. JUST. What does she do? Project her crap onto Tim. Then break up with him for it. Girl, you knew he was a cop from the damn jump. For MONTHS. You knew this. Wasn’t a secret he kept from you. Yet you decide to condemn him for it cause of an injury he had years ago. This has to be one of the most incredibly selfish things I’ve ever seen. That line from 5x08 ‘You deserve someone who’s worth the effort.’ Clearly to Ashley, Tim wasn’t worth the effort.

Breaks my heart for Tim. Leaving him alone post surgery. I hate her for this. I really do. When Lucy would’ve lost her damn mind even knowing about this. The only way she would change her mind is if he retired. Cool so you didn’t get what you wanted so you bail on him? Awesome. Real classy of you. This was just all their crappy communication, incompatibility and just being so wrong for each other coming to a head. At the absolute worst time for Tim. The way he says 'I just got out of surgery...' Breaks my heart. Let me at her Tim. I'm Italian we're scrappy.

I also just wanna hug him so very much. What a shitty thing to do. It’s a rough ride to 5x08. This one just hurts to watch. But good riddance to bad rubbish as they say. Tim was only in that relationship cause it was safe. To fill the hole in his heart Lucy left. And she didn’t even do that good of a job... She did him a favor really. The insane amount of symbolism between Lucy and Ashley in this ep is glaring. When it’s the right person this stuff doesn’t matter. She asks him if she can get him anything? No. Get the hell out. You aren’t fit to breathe the same air as him let alone be in his presence anymore. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out. You won’t be missed.

We return to Lucy at Grey’s desk looking exhausted as hell. He comes in to relieve her. He asks how did it go? She lies and says it was great��. Wade laughs and says ‘It was great?’ He tells her he spoke with the communication supervisor. That she did a masterful job of managing calls with half the normal staff. Lucy thanks him but says she is more than ready to hand it back to him.

She asks about Tim’s laparoscopic? Grey sighs and tells her the news. It’s the way he softly delivers it. Knowing how sick with worry she’s going to be. The man knew. We see the absolute panic on her face. She goes from tired to extremely alert and worried af. That man is the important person in her life. She doesn’t have to blink before she’s at the hospital for him.

Let’s talk about this panicked absolutely panicked walk to his room. How she’s desperately searching for him once she arrives. The way she rubs her tattoo when she reaches it. Gah it’s so good. I love Melissa doing that small touch with her tattoo anytime she is worried/stressed. It’s like she can’t breathe until her eyes are on him. That she won't relax until she can see that he’s safe and ok.

The shaky way she approaches his bed. Bracing herself for the worst since she knows NOTHING about his surgery. Asking him so softly if he’s ok? Getting angry asking 'Why no one told her in the first place?' Tim is smiling because he’s just so damn happy she cares about him. That’s she’s here. He tells her everything went ok. He'll make a full recovery. That he told everyone to keep her in the dark. She goes from worried wifey to scolding LOL

Tim’s answer is so damn revealing. Lucy is picking up on the feelings he’s just laying out for her. Telling her he didn’t want her to worry. Lucy putting the pieces together in her reply. Tim couldn’t be more obvious in his affection for her in this moment. Truly think Lucy was catching onto his feelings right here. It’s the soft way she repeats it back with a very affectionate smile on her face. She loves this man so much. It's written all over her face.

They’re both so sweet and loud in their feelings in this moment. This is such married behavior it’s unreal. He could’ve used Lucy in this whole situation. But once again puts her above his own needs. Because Tim Bradford. Literally screaming his feelings at her in this moment. Tim is realizing this as she parrots back what he did. Goes back on the defensive saying to slow her roll LOL

That he misspoke he was really talking about the station. Uh huh. Sure babe that’s what you’re talking about…Continuing on to say he didn’t want to distract her with worrying about him. So she could properly take over from Smitty. Lucy’s BS detector is out and it’s going off like crazy. He knows she would’ve let the station burn to be with him. To have someone by his side. Instead of calling him out on it further she just does a knowing ‘Mmm-hmm.’

He then goes into proud hubby mode. Look at this man. Like I said in 5x03 he looks at her like she’s hung the moon and stars. Does that by saying he heard she saved the day. Lucy decides to banter back at him. Instead of just taking his praise. Being sassy af in her reply instead of just thanking him. I love this because it shows the comfortability that is still there.

Telling him it wasn't that hard. Pretending she wasn't phased at all by this daunting task. Tacking on she doesn't know why he's always complaining LOL He just complimented her and she knows he means it. So instead of shying away from it she engages in flirty banter with her person. Tim catching onto her game joins in saying 'Really? Just smooth sailing?' They easily fall back into their natural banter here.

Lucy then cracks with a big smile for him. Saying ‘No…it was awful!’ Haha The comfortable solace of their banter coming to life in this moment. It makes my heart so happy after the last few eps. Lucy feels their flow returning. So she decides to rant about her day. Saying to him 'How can so many things go wrong in one day?' ha

Tim returning fire with a sassy reply of his own. Shooting back it wasn’t even a particularly bad day. The flirty body language from Lucy my god. Be more telling my goodness. Does my heart good them bantering and bickering. It's so nice to see after the heaviness they've been carrying around. They both had horrid days. Lucy with the shift from hell. Tim with almost being paralyzed and having emergency surgery.

You wouldn’t know that from watching them banter in this scene. They haven’t had this kind of back and forth in forever. We haven’t seen them this light in weeks. Haven’t see them be themselves at all since 5x01. Look at these two. They’re practically glowing from this sassy banter exchange. Just the pick me up they both needed.

Lucy asks where’s Ashley? Tim stutters around and says he sent her home. She was ‘exhausted.’ Ugh my heart. He’s too hurt to tell her what happened. She’s worried enough about him as is. He won’t add to it. His default gear putting her first. Lucy says ‘Ok.’ believing his lie. She goes to sit down because if she isn’t going to be here Lucy sure as hell is. We talked about symbolism for this ep at the very beginning. This is that in a nutshell.

Lucy filling the seat next to his bed that Ashley has vacated. Not that she is aware of that at this point but Tim is. Lucy makes the choice to stay with him. It means more to Tim in this moment than she’ll ever know. Her automatic reaction is to stay so he doesn’t have to be alone post surgery. Knowing he would like the company even if he doesn’t ask for to. She just knows him that well. This moment means so much to Tim.

He is very gun shy from Ashley legit just abandoning him. He questions why she’s sitting down. The shock is all over his face when she originally takes that seat. Lucy’s answer is wonderful and obvious to her. 'I’m keeping you company.' Thinking what else would I be doing after rushing to come see you? I also think she just wants to keep an eye on him. Make sure he’s really ok.

She is putting him first in this moment. Just like she always has. Always will. Tim tells her she doesn’t have to. Then Lucy does a terrible job of hiding her own feelings. Giving him heart eyes galore replying ‘I know.’ Basically saying ‘I know but I love you.’ No where else she’d rather be. It’s why his smile Is so damn soft for her. She doesn’t have to stay. She WANTS to be with him. Keep him company while he recovers from something so awful.

She is choosing him in this moment and he knows it. It’s written all over his handsome face. He is so grateful to her in this moment. Her presence being a salve to his emotional and physical wounds. Gah I love this episode so very much. Just another ep showing how Lucy is very much his person and Ashley was never close to that. Not in million years. Such a good one after low content drought. Sure it was intentional by the writers to starve us a bit then deliver this gem of ep ❤️

~~~

Side notes- non chenford

Love learning about Angela’s brother’s. Also that final scene with her mom makes me cry every time. It’s my own issues but I’m jealous. Angela deserves that apology. Yeah she’s a bad ass but even a bad ass still needs their mom. The way her mom owns up to it and apologizes. My heart. It makes me sad cause I’ll never get that so it gets me right in the feels. But so glad she got it.

Whew we're 5 eps down already unreal. Thank you to everyone who likes, comments and reblogs. You are the reason I do this :) see you in 5x06

[sasori-rp]

A much needed Post

Good evening everyone, I hope you're all having a good day.💜

Yes, I probably tagged you in this, dear stranger. Before you click off, I ask you to give me 5 minutes of your time. Just 5, then you can go about your day. But I would appreciate it, if you listened to what I have to say, because it means a lot to me and many...many others.

I'm posting today, because this topic has been on my heart lately and I wanted to share my thoughts with you. I'm sure you've already guessed that this is about the whole Kisame-anon chaos.

Before we begin, I want to get this out of the way: This post is coming from a genuine and loving place. My goal is not to point fingers, nor placing blame or justify anyone's actions, including my own. This post is about me, trying to understand the entire situation and providing my sentiments to it.

Act I: Why do I not just shut up?

Why do I get involved you might ask? It's not so much that I want to get involved. It's more that any anon who begins their journey here, gets inevitably sucked into it. We are faced with angry posts, confusing explanations and forced to choose who to believe and support. If you don't, you walk on eggshells filled with guilt and if you do, you're being blocked by the entire half of the disagreeing party.

This is not what I signed up for.

I come on to Tumblr to Roleplay and have fun. I've been having a splendid time here. You guys are making me so happy as of late, allowing me to play freely and giving me a space for all my creative ideas. And I want to continue doing so.

I want to be able to chat up anyone, without fearing that someone else will jump at my throat for it. That includes Kisame, Hidan, Orochimaru and many more of you wonderdul RPers.

Recently I have noticed that I've been blocked by several people and I can guess, what the reason is. And it saddens me because...I like you guys. We were talking and sharing fun experiences, only for me to discover that I am suddenly cut off from it. For no other reason than that I interact with a person they have a quarrel with. And that is just...not the solution. So what is the solution?

Act II: The Anon War in a nutshell

Now, from my understanding, there is a big rift between two groups.

1) Those who have received digital harassment in form of hate/rape/death threats (and believe Kisame-anon to be the culprit)

and

2) Those who defend Kisame against those claims, or, like me, don't just blindly hop onto a hate train they saw on the internet

Again, my goal with this post is not to be the divine judge over who is in the right here. It is, objectively, pretty much impossible from an outsider's standpoint. And additionally, I don't think either of you is necessarily to blame for your individual reactions.

I absolutely feel for you guys, Hidan-anon and your friends. I, too, would be seething if someone I love was harrassed in the way Hidan (and co) has been. I do not know the extent of the harrassment. But I believe you when you say, that you've suffered. And I am very sorry you have been through that.

I also feel for Hidans friends, who, (bless their hearts) really are trying to protect them from further harm. An absolutely understandable sentiment.

I do however, also really feel for Kisame, who, (bear with me here) is probably being framed. They have been faced with a lot of backlash from party 1, have tried to defend themselves to no avail, up to the point of having to retreat. And all that...for what?

Act III: The Point I'm trying to make

Do none of you realise, that you're being pinned against each other?

There is a person (or perhaps several) that has harrassed Hidan-anon with very vile threats and they are getting away with it. There is someone out there, that is having the time of their life, watching you scratch each others eyes out, causing pain and suffering for everyone involved, while they sit back and watch the show.

Kisame-anon has not sent you these messages. They have proof of it. Wether you believe them or not, is up to you, but...

Do you really want to keep hurling hate at a person, that is just as much a victim as you are? A person who, themselves, is a victim of sexual abuse and would never even think of the idea of sending someone rape threats?

Would you not rather work together to bring that (pardon my french) asshat to justice, that is playing sick games with the both of you?

And mind you, it's not just Kisame you're isolating. You're isolating their friends, who are doing the same as you: Protecting those they care about.

You're isolating kind strangers like me, who just want to roleplay without the drama, by blocking them by mere association.

And you're isolating oblivious newcomers, who might have the misfortune of stumbling over the "wrong" blog at the wrong time.

This is not okay guys.

And coercing others into doing the same (blocking by association) is further doing damage, because many people just want to stay away from the drama and thus do as you say without much thought. The whole thing is harmful in itself, but it's worse, because you're doing it to the wrong person.

Kisame has evidence that they're innocent. Kisame also has a quite solid theory who it is. Do you not want to at least have a look at it?

If you truly care about the safety and wellbeing of your friends, I strongly suggest you do. Because the actual predator is still out there.

I am glad that Hidan went to the police. I hope that they find who is behind all of this and that they get taken care of for good. Because like things stand now, you're about to drag an innocent person to the guillotine and letting the true perpetrator go. And you're dividing an entire RP fandom, that used to be a safe space.

I don't want this to happen.

Act IV: So...what now?

I want this post to be a wake up call. A wake up call for all those who are as confused, as I was and unsure what to do; but also, especially, to Hidan-anon and friends. Please, let us put down arms and find a solution.

I care about you. And I care about Kisame. And I love this little RP space we built and the friends I made here. I want us to stand together, acknowledge each other's suffering and grow as people. Let us talk things out.

I want this post to be a safe place for exchange. Feel free to add your thoughts and sentiments in the comments. Everything is welcome, as long as it is respectful and communicated calmly. I am more than happy to provide you with a neutral ground to talk things out. My DMs and Asks are always open for anyone who needs an ear or a shoulder.

We, as Naruto fans, more than anyone else, should know that hate creates nothing but more hate. So let us lead with compassion and patience. And listen to each other. Thank you for your attention.

[boogiewoogieweeb]

would LOVE to hear about the ned quits the navy one 👀👀

hi kay! thank you for the ask!

it's more of a nebulous, 100+ bullet point listicle of an au than an actual wip at this point, but i'm more than happy to yap on about it:

it's essentially a ned-centric post-rescue joplittle au in which ross ex machina saves a handful of the expedition survivors (including some of the mutineers). it mostly follows the show's timeline, with some self-indulgent exceptions regarding canonical character death (jfj doesn't die, for instance. he and francis had their 'wedding night' scene, but francis couldn't go through with it, and jfj is not quite as scorbutic in this au).

aboard the investigator, ned learns that jopson survived being abandoned, and has to wrestle with his conscience. he tries apologizing to jops, only to be soundly and coldly rebuffed in the attempt. this shakes ned to his core, and he questions the purpose of his own survival. things only get worse for his mental state when he overhears francis tell jcr that he feels personally responsible for what happened to the men after he got captured by the mutineers.

this makes ned question his entire naval career, and what it means to be a good man. after some soul searching, and further developments once they reach ye olde england (including an inquest by the admiralty; and sending francis money on the condition of anonymity to help pay for jops' recovery), ned decides to quit the navy and start a shipping venture of his own with the help of his (legendary) brother, james, and some rich benefactors thanks to his connection to lady jane.

things go moderately well. james invites ned to come live with him for a spell, their business grows lucrative, and ned slowly relearns what it means to be, if not happy, then at least content. until a very angry jops shows up on his doorstep one day and goes, "so. it's come to my attention that it's not captain crozier, but you i have to thank for funding my recovery". this leads to them having it out in the foyer, with jops angrily telling ned he doesn't need his charity, and ned replying even more angrily that it's not charity; but he had to do things behind jops' back because he knew jops would never accept his help otherwise.

eventually, jops asks him why he's so deadset on helping, and ned - without thinking - blurts out: “my heart stopped beating the day i left you behind, and only restarted when i learned that you’d survived. but by the time i could tell you so, however, you already hated me. and now, all i have left is my ability to care for you from afar.”

they're both stunned into silence by the admission. ned, in a near panic, hastily tries to salvage what little dignity he has left by vowing to stay away from jops forever if that's what he truly wants.

but instead of turning away in disgust, jops breaks down right in front of ned and simply says, "it would've been easier for both of us if only i was capable of hating you."

smth smth emotional catharsis. and then james little - gay legend that he is - walks in on them having their heart-to-heart, takes one look at jops and goes, "oh, this explains so much about why ned's Been Like This™ since he got back."

cue happy ending, applause, etc.

and yeah, that's basically ned quits the navy in a nutshell! i'd be more than happy to share the full bullet point list on here for anyone who'd like to know more.

once again kay, thank you for picking my guilty pleasure au to ask about! i hope you enjoyed learning more about it 💖

[ammonitetheseaserpent]

Moar MD OC info because my mind has been INJECTED with. basically an entire small, interwoven story since the first post where I introduced the concepts.

This is uh. gonna be a long post

Serial Designation Q

- If I had to sum up his personality in a few words, they would be ‘chill chaos’.

- The drug-like substance he consumes affects the light he gives off, which is what allows her to shift its color.

- Her fighting/hunting style is kinda reckless, like a honey badger; mainly leaning on brute force, sheer determination and the light trick.

- She doesn’t exclusively do psychedelic effects with his lights for hunts, though - it has entertainment value for him as well.

- Also yee she’s bigender :D

- (I’m starting to debate calling her Q instead for uh. standout purposes. cause I’ve seen a few Ys by now and I don’t wanna cause confusion hhhnshsjdbdb Edit: made the change; I think Q fits him better now that I mull it over :0)

Weird Frog

- That’s the JP-Dilo-Sentinel (name given by Q).

- It guards Celadon’s residence with the Packleader, and was built to give the Sentinels more variety.

- It is particularly small and fast and, instead of the stun stare, the sound of its screech gives off an AoE effect to temporarily paralyze any nearby drone who hears it.

- It has a very playful attitude, putting its all into fending off attackers but also having fun with it; y’know that one scene in Agony of a Witch where Hooty was fending off Lilith and the EC. Yeah uh. that’s pretty much WF in a nutshell.

- It’s quite curious and won’t immediately attack a lone drone it sees approaching the residence unless that drone is clearly looking to be a threat.

The Packleader Sentinel

- It’s the primary guard of Celadon’s residence, and sort of a parental figure to Weird Frog.

- Its stun stare is stronger than that of an average Sentinel, to the point where the flash can cause a bit of lasting damage in drones.

- It was basically built to be like. the Final Boss of the regular Sentinels. Like, something to fall back on if the need arose.

- This one’s a bit silly but: I imagine it was designed based off the Indoraptor and Scorpios Rex like. in-universe. Cause Liam said that the Sentinels were made raptors bc the humans just. liked dinosaurs and thought they were cool. So I imagine the Jurassic Park/movies being in this universe, and while they’re working on the Packleader someone just goes ‘hey what if we based it off those freaky-looking hybrid dinos, like the one that’s a raptor but bigger and creepier :0’.

Avarice SOL

- He was the result of a faulty one-off experiment.

- He has a powerful, insatiable drive to take parts of drones to build on his own form, and bothers Celadon on a regular basis (as stated in the previous post) bc the Hellsinger residence has a lot of what he wants.

- He stole a drone’s voicebox so he can speak, and… I imagine him sounding like that one mackerel in that one Dexter’s Laboratory episode.

Cure PHX

- They were started by Celadon’s parents in order to combat Disassembly Drones. Celadon later finished them, adding the healing abilities they now have.

- Not only can they release a signal to shut off physical pain in other bots, they also have ankle spurs to secrete a substance that’s basically the bot equivalent of melatonin.

- Their functions can be a bit wonky sometimes, and the full power of the UV light/radiation from their wings is only meant to be used in short bursts; too long will cause them delirium from the excess heat and power.

- They’re fully sentient, though due to the nature of their creation, their voicebox is kinda messed up and can produce garbled, birdlike sounds that take effort to form into words - I imagine Cure sounding somewhat like half-healed Centipeetle from Steven Universe.

Celadon Hellsinger

- Her residence is kind of run-down but she refuses to patch it up bc it ‘enhances the elusion factor’.

- She owns a weapon called the Frequency Gauntlet (I uh. stole the name from a mobile game called Monster Legends if I’m being completely frank) that was p much the pet project of her parents and grandparents. they all collaborated to make it.

- The aforementioned Hellsingers are gone now, so she just lives w/ Cure and the two Sentinels (speaking of the two Sentinels her parents basically. donned the FG and stole them very sneakily; I haven’t decided if they were stolen b4 they were put in with the other Sentinels and so they were more chill with drones they didn’t see as a threat, or if the Hellsingers tweaked their programming but uh. yeh)

- She’s usually sort of a pacifist; not nearly as concerned w/ actively confronting and doing battle w/ the DDs as her parents were, and is perfectly content with hiding from them (which doesn’t work out too bad as the Hellsingers made their residence as secluded and unnoticeable as they could to reduce the possibility of being tracked down).

- She’s aroace bc uh. yeh

Extra story bit

- Basically uh. Q happened upon Celadon’s residence at some point while traveling wherever and went over to get a closer look. He was met halfway by Weird Frog, and the two quickly became friendly toward each other. Then later, through WF as a common thread, Q met Celadon and now they’re… not friends, exactly, more like. acquaintances on peaceful terms. and they act a bit like siblings. Q thinks Celadon is cool, while Celadon is a bit more hesitant and often baffled by his antics.

[intogenshin]

Why Alhaitham says Kaveh is his mirror

Alhaitham calls Kaveh his mirror because they’re based on the two outstanding traits of the same character from ayn rand’s rancid novel The Fountainhead.

Less like a homage and more like a challenge against the themes in the novel itself, though.

The Fountainhead’s protagonist, Howard Roark, is an intransigent young architect who battles against conventional standards and refuses to compromise with an architectural establishment unwilling to accept innovation.

This Kaveh in a nutshell.

Roark embodies what the author believed to be the ideal man, and his struggles reflect her belief that individualism is superior to collectivism.

Not quite Haitham but individualism is there.

The author of the novel is a rather controversial figure both in philosophy and politics. She’s the founder of objectivism and a capitalism worshiper that started preaching her beliefs right before the Cold War began to take form.

Nowadays you’ll only find libertarian incels who like her work.

(I wish I could be objective to her objectivism but those beliefs are what supported the USA’s imperialist foreign policies that destroyed my country in irreparable ways, so I can’t extend any kindness to her work)

But like I said, I don’t think Hoyo took her work seriously either. It’s more like addressing certain points from this novel and developing them in actually compelling ways, while also refuting some of them through Alhaitham and Kaveh.

Rand believed individualism to be the only means to achieve true freedom against concepts like collectivism, which she describes as sacrificing one’s own freedom to prioritize that of others. Unsurprisingly, she was also very anti Socialism.

She held the usual belief that Communism/Socialism was precisely about taking away a person’s individuality like a regular US person living in a bubble of propaganda, which is reflected on the novel’s plot of mob mentality.

Ellsworth M. Toohey, who writes a popular architecture column in the Banner, is an outspoken socialist who shapes public opinion through his column and a circle of influential associates. Toohey sets out to destroy Roark through a smear campaign.

Genshin addresses this through Alhaitham’s story quest, The Illusions of the Mob, making a far more interesting, compelling and smarter case based on this theme with the concept of the Hivemind, or the “collective consciousness” as they call it.

The novel revolves around its mary-suish character’s misunderstood genius, who falls victim of the smear campaign.

Everyone turns against him, even the woman he‘s in a situationship with, who gives up her own personal will and joins the mob against him out of resignation.

Dominique decides that since she cannot have the world she wants, in which men like Roark are recognized for their greatness, she will live entirely in the world she has, which shuns Roark and praises Keating. She marries Keating and turns herself over to him, doing and saying whatever he wants, and actively persuading potential clients to hire him instead of Roark.

There’s other characters who betray Roark (and their own principles) to follow the mob bc of outside pressure, which parallels the plot of Illusions of the Mob, where Siraj recruits multiple people who feel isolated to join his Hivemind - with the goal of getting rid of Alhaitham.

Rand’s argument stems from her anti socialist views, but it does make a point about “collectivism” hindering personal freedom and taking away individual identity.

But as Alhaitham himself puts it tho, this concept of collective was flawed from the start. It’s not real collectivism.

Collectivism has already been addressed by Genshin’s narrative at this point through Nilou’s character and the Grand Bazaar, where the community functions by helping each other when they’re in need.

(I have this post that goes it)

So by contrast the collective consciousness is not what Genshin accepts as a legitimate example of collectivism.

Even Alhaitham praises the Grand Bazaar at the end of the archon quest:

Ultimately though, I think the biggest own against Rand’s novel is the confrontation at the end of the quest between Siraj and Haitham.

Siraj seeks power and recognition for himself, but unlike the antagonist in the novel he doesn’t hide this fact. His subordinates knew all along he wanted to become a sage, and they weren’t coerced nor fooled into joining, Siraj just took advantage of their situation.

He had nothing to do with the problems those scholars were facing, and his Hivemind offered them what the environment at the Akademiya did not. The scholars willingly chose this alternative.

Toohey is Roark’s antagonist. He is Rand’s personification of evil —the most active and self aware villain in any of her novels.

Toohey is a socialist, and represents the spirit of collectivism more generally. He styles himself as representative of the will of the masses, but his actual desire is for power over others. He controls individual victims by destroying their sense of self-worth, and seeks broader power (over “the world”, as he declares to Keating in a moment of candor) by promoting the ideas of ethical altruism and a rigorous egalitarianism that treats all people and achievements as equally valuable.

Siraj believes Haitham to be a equal though, someone who has been ostracized by society due to their non conventional ideas, much like Roark in the novel (who btw dynamites a building from a project he was working on bc it didn’t follow his creative vision)

Alhaitham doesn’t care about neither recognition nor acceptance, his freedom comes from placing no value on outsider’s perspectives about him and staying true to himself.

However, this is not a statement of superiority. We get to meet characters like Ilyas who had other constraints besides just being emotionally vulnerable, having a family to support and a career that demands connections. Haitham’s is not an accessible path to everyone.

But, as the Acting Grand Sage, he does take care of the issue to make the working conditions of the Akademiya less suitable for this kind of mob mentality problems. Although the tradition of labeling people as genius and isolating them does persist I guess.

Alhaitham also has his own views challenged during the archon quest, where he finds a collective/team where he does fit (despite the disputes): the desert gang.

It is precisely because their emotions and principles collided that they were able to put together a plan, and why they were able to fool the Akasha so it would stop predicting Cyno’s moves.

Alhaitham is not a character used as an argument against collectivism or having social connections.

He goes on to befriend Cyno, Dehya and Nilou with no problem. The archon quest comes across as a rather significant character development for him.

Now, on to Kaveh:

For Rand and libertarian incels, altruism is about sacrificing yourself for others. And that’s quite the statement, since altruism is just about attending other people’s needs, but that’s precisely what Kaveh’s character is about.

He’s not just an altruistic person, he voluntarily sacrifices himself in order to help others.

And Hoyo makes a point of it being something that affects his life negatively while also acknowledging he’s just going too far in the pursuit of this principle.

Yet Kaveh isn’t just a once dimensional antithesis to Haitham’s individuality. Like Roark in the novel, he embodies the pursuit of artistic innovation and the struggle against established values. Just, y’kno, not in a stupid way like Fountainhead.

As a field that combines art, technology, and business, it allowed [the author] to illustrate her primary themes in multiple areas. Rand later wrote that architects provide “both art and a basic need of man’s survival”. In a speech to a chapter of the American Institute of Architects, Rand drew a connection between architecture and individualism, saying time periods that had improvements in architecture were also those that had more freedom for the individual.

Roark’s modernist approach to architecture is contrasted with that of most of the architects in the novel. In the opening chapter, the dean of the architecture school tells Roark that the best architecture must copy the past rather than innovate and improve. Roark repeatedly loses jobs with architectural firms and commissions from clients because he is unwilling to copy conventional architectural styles. In contrast, Keating’s mimicry of convention brings him top honors in school and an immediate job offer. The same conflict between innovation and tradition is reflected in the career of Roark’s mentor.

In Rand’s views, this is more about praising capitalism, but in Genshin the Akademiya functions as capitalism itself does so Kaveh’s rather fighting the suppression of arts in the professional field against the prioritization of capitalist interests.

Anyway. Yeah. Haitham and Kaveh portray the two main themes depicted thru the protagonist in Rand’s novel, engaging with her philosophical ideas but discrediting her flawed point of view to offer a more interesting and compelling analysis of personal freedom & artistic innovation.

(Of course you can interpret kavetham with a romantic lens or frame thei relationship as romantic on the basis of that line but it most definitely was motivated by this narrative)

[silversyn115]

HII hi hi hi hi!!

So em, idk how many asks you get but I have one-

I notice your AU revolves a lot around the OCs included in it, and their relationships with the other canon characters, and I was reading one of your older posts about Felony's relationship with each of the turtles and was wondering if you could maybe elaborate a bit on her relationship with Raph?

I'm just curious and I love lore so you know ehehensnsjsjsnsndnamak

I LOVE your art style btw, one of the most unique ones I've come across :>

Yeah, let's make this my first post in months after disappearing to deal with some health issues and NOT address that front at all!!!

First off, THANK YOU FOR ASKING as I actually don't get very many asks and I LOVE TELLING PEOPEL ABOUT THE LORE FOR MY AU-

And, just for you my friend, I have made an artpiece that pretty much encapsulates Felony and Raph's relationship in a nutshell (I had a lot of free time lol):

As mentioned previously, Felony is actually kind of fearful of Raph, mostly because he is bigger and stronger than her, and it actually ties in a bit to Felony's upbringing; in another post I made a joke about Felony spending time in solitary confinement. And uhh, that...wasn't entirely a joke, because Felony DID spend most of her childhood in prison and solitary confinement. When she was with general population, she was bullied and taken advantage of by the other prisoners, and since the neglectful guards that watched over the Hidden City Prison wouldn't do anything about it, Felony, at the age of 13, would start working out vigorously and teach herself in the ways of vicious hand-to-hand combat - and nearly killed her tormenter the next time they tried to pick on her.

Felony's mentality essentially is that the only way to avoid being beat up every day is to be the strongest, most vicious person around, and in prison, she was just that (and very much still is, I mean, the girl can dead-lift over twice her own weight) but OUTSIDE of prison, living with the Mad Dogs, its different. She instantly assesses and pins Raph as the strongest of the Hamato household for his strength (plus the mystic powers don't help) and recognizes that even utilizing her other skills, like her speed or agility, she realistically wouldn't be able to beat Raph in hand-to-hand combat. Felony is basically waiting for Raph to challenge her to a fight for the title of strongest and therefore, untouchable by anyone, and the idea of losing and falling back to where she was when she was 13 and relentlessly bullied is unbearable to her.

But I also honestly think that the idea of facing Raph in combat alone, without the looming thought of falling back to her previous position, is terrifying to Felony because, like I said before, Felony KNOWS Raph doesn't trust her, and can and will break her in two if she ever dared to hurt any of his brothers. The last thing Felony wants at this point is to provoke him further and push him far enough to fight her because Felony knows she won't win, and the concept of "pulling your punches" and NOT killing people in a fight like that, critically, doesn't resonate with her because she essentially grew up watching other people tear each other to shreds in prison. My girl may have a few screws loose, but she still has a sense of self-preservation!

On Raphs part, he has good reason not to trust Felony; its not just that she's emotionally unstable, always acting out in violent fits of rage and CONSTANTLY putting herself and other members of the team in danger, but really her own fear of Raph that makes him suspicious; I mean, why would she be scared of him if she has nothing to hide, if she's not doing anything wrong? Why would she be scared of him if she DOESN'T have malicious intent and thinks Raph is conceivably the only one that could stop her? It doesn't add up to him, thus, he tries to keep a close eye on her; which is a bit hard because Felony, of course, is terrified of Raph and tries to avoid him.

So basically, to sum it up, the two spend the first part of the story walking on eggshells around each other because they're both wary of one another - for reasons that don't really have full merit. Felony doesn't know Raph well enough to know that he isn't going to beat the tar out of her to prove he's the strongest or just because she does something out of line, and Raph doesn't know Felony well enough to know that she truly has no mal-intent, and the only reason she asked to stay in their household is because she escaped prison with Leo on a whim and has absolutely nowhere else to go.

WHEW, THAT WAS A LOT-

I hope that answers your questions though. And I also just realized that this reveals a good amount about the first part of the story, so WONDERFUL, THERE YA GO, YOU HAVE SOME SPOILERS MIXED IN TO GO WITH ALL OF THAT YAAAYYY

I do have some more drawings I could post later, AAAND the first part of the comic is NEARING COMPLETION AFTER MONTHS AND MONTHS WHICH IS EXCITING, so be sure to stay tuned for that!

[risingshards]

Things I am not over from the movie (Venture Bros spoilers)

-That little moment of Doc being able to calculate how long they have in freefall, like he's actually really really smart he just is burdened with [gestures to his entire life prior]. I love any moment where he gets to actually be competent.

-"All you need to know is that the person who gave birth to you loves you. I promise they do." That is maybe the most beautiful line in the entire series I'm SOBBING. Bonus points that its true meaning is super science weirdness overflowing with love. That's the series in a nutshell.

-That potentially the last shot of the series is the Venture Bros' first "Go Team Venture"

-How hilarious it was that Monarch and 21's new outfits had the squeaky plastic/leather sounds, IIRC Jackson and Doc wanted that for something earlier in the show but couldn't get it

-The pee in a jar reference (I cannot believe this got in and I can't believe how sentimental it made me)

-Dermott stealing and hoarding Venture relics, I love that he joined OSI and basically ended up in the same spot

-My theories getting obliterated. I should've shared it beforehand but my big theory going in: In commentary for S3 they kind of go over an early version of Bobbi's history with Rusty and Jonas. My thought was that Bobbi St. Simone was not only the boys' mother with Rusty but also that she was Brock's mom who she had with Jonas, making him both the boys' brother and also Rusty's. It made perfect sense in my head but I'm glad I was wrong in hindsight lol. Force Majeure had a very similar face to Brock though so maybe that's his dad hmm...

-I kept waiting to see what the title meant, and with the cover I was expecting a giant baboon to show up that was somehow dormant under Ventech tower, but the actual title ended up making a lot of sense (and the gushing baboon blood mentioned in press releases ended up being Monarch's...)

-James Urbaniak posted a bit of the script that had me anxious about the movie for a long while, the last audio he recorded for the movie were screams for the electromagnetic scene, and he shared a bit of the script and covered most of it up so it just read like "HATRED screams and opens fire.....HELPER is COMPLETELY DESTROYED." So I kept imagining how it would go, assuming they were going up against some ruthless enemy not trying to destroy a bunch of Alexas in an electromagnetically charged room. I had a nightmare where weirdly enough the scene was happening in space which ended up being where the scene took place which is weird, but in the dream version Hatred like violently died and I was so devastated. I must care about the Venture crew a great deal because I've definitely had nightmares about characters dying before big eps/specials before, before Operation PROM I had a dream about Orpheus getting lit on fire that I still remember and shudder thinking about. Also seeing Helper safe (well their head at least) in the ending was a great anxiety douser cuz from the script I thought Helper got like disintigrated and the movie would have tons of characters dying in some Venture-pocalypse.

-Monarch is Rusty clone 22, making him and 21's friendship more numerically satisfying

-Going by that my assumption is approximately 20 Rusty Ventures bit the dust before our Rusty lasted, just like his boys.

-THAT POST CREDITS SCENE UGHHHHHHHH MY HEARRRRTTTTT

[mossy-thing]

saw that stop sheltering me post and i feel a little ashamed. I might've done few things like that in past and i wanna know what is considered a loving act and what is considered infantalization because no one would explain me and I want to be better. In a nutshell i want to ask how it is you wanna be loved?

Hi anon! Okay, first of all, this is definitely an individual kind of thing, and you should ask the person this concerns rather than relying completely on me. Second of all, the fact that you asked me at all is a proof (for me, at least) that you should not be ashamed! Whatever you might have done wrong, you're willing to grow and learn more, and that is more than nearly every person I have struggled with has ever done. So good job! (Thirdly, I'm sorry for getting back to you so late. Asks are scary.)

But enough of that and onto the list of stuff I hate and how to fix it!

1: Treating me like I am far younger, more innocent and less capable than I actually am

(aka the fucking definition of infantalisation and what my original post was all about).

This is so fucking annoying. You would not believe it. I am legally an adult and there are still people who are like "Aw you're such a small bean! A sunshine child! Must protect! 🥺" Meanwhile I am sitting there with the experience of 19 years, 5 schools and 3 psychwards on my back, like. Excuse me who the fuck are you talking to??? There is an incredibly easy way to fix this. If you struggle with this first point, look at the person you do not want to infantalize, look at their age, and treat them exactly like you would any other person their age.

Obviously, if this person has special needs like I do, then in some situations, that is not possible. I understand that. So, try to figure out what situations protecting someone is appropriate in, and in which ones it is not. For example, if you are sitting with them in an environment they feel comfortable and relaxed in, you should not do things like forbid them how to swear or tell them excessively what a good job they did for doing something normal. Though there is a fine line to tread here. I for example have difficulty with hygene, and after a shower, it feels nice when people tell me that I did a good job. The important thing here is this: There is a difference between someone congratulating someone on doing something that they struggle with, and treating them like they are a dog that did a trick right. There are obviously things like reward systems that work well in some cases, but it is all about presentation. Again, it is best to talk to the person you are asking me because of, so you can lay down boundaries together.

Like I mentioned before, the whole thing is very much depending on situational and individual needs. But there is a difference between simply protecting someone, accomidating their sensory needs and getting them out of difficult situations they don't know how to deal with, and treating them like a child or a pet while doing so.

2: Sensory needs

This might be surprising, but there is actually a wrong way to go about accomidating someone. I say surprising because it surprises me. For example, my most obvious sensory thing is noise. I wear huge noisecancellers and/or earplugs all of the time and flinch basically 2 times in 3 minutes. Everyone who spends time with me notices. Now, most of these people are kind about it, and try to accomodate me. There are obviously those who find it funny to purposefully set me off, but that is a different problem. What I am getting at here is the following: Some people focus too much on making sure I'm okay.

I understand that this might sound silly, but personally, it fucks me off so bad.

Two examples: I once tried joining a DnD group. They seemed nice enough, right up to Noticing my noise sensitivity. Then the DM started shushing everyone over the course of the entire session whenever they raised their voice the slightest bit and gestured meaningfully at me. Like I wasn't able to handle someone talking to me in anything that wasn't a goddamn whisper. Like I exist in a bubble and this was my first time being exposed to loud noises. Like I didn't take the goddamn train to get there. It was so fucking annoying. I left shortly after. Also, this was after having known them for a while. They started behaving like this once I mentioned I had been diagnosed with a hyperacusis and started wearing noise cancellers (life savers, those things). The sensory issues had been there all along, and I had actually told them once or twice to speak a little more quietly. What really fucked me off was that they only started accomodating me once I had laid down proof that I had an issue, and immediately started treating me like a ticking time bomb on my way to a spectacular meltdown. Please don't do this.

The second, a little more recent example, is this:

I have a classmate in my most recent school who is a genuinely nice guy. He's funny, he's relaxed, we get along quite well. The problem with him is that he immediately looks at me every time there is an unexpected loud noise to check on how I'm doing. Every time. He is always concerned about me. His first thought when encountering me is always "Is it doing okay? Is this overwhelming? How can I make this situation better?"

And that is great! I like it when people recognise I have a problem and try to accommodate me. But he makes it so obvious that it is more or less all he thinks about when talking to me, that his care has grown to feel patronizing. It's uncomfortable to be watched so closely every second he spends with me.

In conclusion:

This is a very, very complex issue, which is why it took literal months for me to answer you. Sorry, again. The best answer I can give you is really to have a conversation with whoever you are thinking about. Try to make sure that what you're doing feels okay to them, that your care is appreciated.

Because it is great that you care! It is great that you are worried! And it is even better that you are open to changing that care if it feels stifling. I don't know the person you are talking about, but you do. So you have the opportunity to check in on them.

I only mentioned negative experiences, but it is possible to be good at accommodation. I have friends that are great, and that I trust with taking care of me when I need it, because they are understanding and still treat me like they would anyone else when I do not need help.

Sorry for the long post, and for making you wait so long. Good luck!

[cornus27florida]

Gwen's Dreamscape Analysis

A webtoon comment make a weird theory that Humpty Dumpty = little prince = the tiniest prince = Frederick because color motif is 'green' and 'golden' - but rereading make me sure it's the (abhorrent, sorry I know Gwen's dress beautiful but I like to make 'dark joke' based on canon) dress that Gwen wears at the very first meeting with the Plaid Princes. So a theory is debunked, but make me theorizing about entire things related to Gwen's dreamscape so far

That theory is, related to Humpty Dumpty~

And the recent episode gives more material to analyze over - WHY Gwen dreamscape there?

I never expected Rose Hall to appear in the dream, I predict the crystal room long ago from cpc webtoon banner. Rereading also make me believe that locatiins in her dream related to her shattered feelings...

But the 2 locations, both gwenderick/freddolyn moment and I find it's important to mention. These locations if linked with Frederick in nutshell about him questioning Gwen's (in term of romantic) as following :

Crystal room: Frederick wondering about the truth to Gwen about his conscience that something amiss in their relationship with;

"did I do something that hurt you when we first met? "

I've wrote my interpretation in previous post, in nutshell Frederick wondering what's wrong

Rose hall: aside from the whole broken proposals fiasco, I like to pointing out Frederick's quote right before the waffle note comes falling down

"T-this is all happening so fast… "

My interpretation is that Frederick feeling something amiss, something is skipped over - and we as the reader know what is it…

Gwen hiding the truth that she overhears about Frederick called her very ugly in their first meeting day, she keep hides it desperately (similar with how her own mother hides the truth that she's not feeling herself to be beautiful, to Jack - her romantical love interest) - even when Frederick nudges her to tell the truth at the gala right after his bullies got dealt, or Prez warns her that hiding truths isn't a good relationship foundation (even if pres is aroace that not really understand romance, that's warning is correct)

I have personal intake about : "something missing" that Gwen wonders in her dreamscape

Is related to the need for Gwen to processs everything, mainly for her believing that Frederick's apology is true - what he said recently is true, as he's changing opinion about her… That he believes that Gwen is beautiful.

If you love someone genuinely (if I could dare to say, the true love) , your love interest becomes very beautiful in your eyes (like comically the animated shoujo filter for example). This make me believe that Frederick is PART of the solution for Gwen's self love and it's healthy one once Gwen sees Frederick with honesty. Remember my previous analysis over Frederick's outfit that ended with urging Gwen to see Fred as a true him - because (romantic) relationship is supposed to be a joint effort, Frederick doing his best in waking reality to be the true him and Gwen needs to do her part too by believing him.

So if Frederick love is likely true love, will his kiss breaks the spell and awakes Gwen? It could be, but I didn't want to take debate about what's actually the true love and what's self-love supposed to be (I have enough of people that still despising Frederick, like believing that she should woken up by other way as gwenderick is "toxic"). Because? I didn't know as I am happily single, I won't presume to know what's love is especially theorizing which exactly the true love for Gwen - but I take the witch saying that true love doesn't necessarily to be singular, you could have multiple true love at once and even to non-human like Jamie loves waffle. This means the multiple true love that Gwen has could be directed to multiple options at once.

Also remember, despite so many people loves Gwen - what matters to breaks the spell is if Gwen loves them back or not. And that's the problem because with the way poisoned apple scene depicted very closely to attempting suicide - Gwen in dreamscape truly believes that no one loves her. Look at panel right before she eats the apple. Someone that feeling in pit of despair feels like they're deep at the dark tunnel without any light (as believes no one will care or love them) when in reality is not true, there's always light at the end of tunnel. BUT people in despair got numbed in their sense, which could leads them not realizing the reality OR believes (have delusions) in things that actually not real (having hallucinations). Thanksfully the dream spell that the witch made make noises (sound) and smell could still seep in the dream - and we have dubious witch way that related to portrait BUT this leads to the another theory subplot that I feel won't explain right now espc because we're lacking canon content to speculate about it

I like to move on to another step of my theory about gwenderick/freddolyn. Frederick could escape from the prison because he got delusions (that mixed with realities sense in the way of his mother and Jamie talking to her through the thick) that despite everything, Gwen needs him and he should get out from the prison to can see Gwen again. There's mysterious scene where the gala portrait got lifted up to the top so laverne can see it and lifting Frederick up, and with the witch say the soul that trapped in the 'magical' portrait (that Leland stole, thus make Plaid palace haunted for years) could travels to any portrait in the house they reside in. So I predict the reason it could go up because Lilyth's soul posses the portrait at the moment. Means Lilyth helps Frederick (future son-in-law) indirectly

^ that link is to my theory about Fred's outfit, might be too irrelevant but what I like to highlight is "once Fred be the true him, without trying to be Plaid prince, is the start of him could reach Gwen". And I have theory (more like hope) that Frederick could somehow reach Gwen too that helps Gwen to be awake from the spell. Maybe by assuring Gwen that he truly loves her (sound?). Maybe his mere presence (like his smell, but unsure if Gwen could recognizing Fred's smell or his smell recognizable - it's kinda rude notion as compares her akin to dogs) make Gwen realizes that Frederick is here, debunking her worry that Fred didn't want to be 'here'?

Whatever the actual situation, what's actually the true love, how exactly to breaks the spell...I feel Frederick should in the part of variable, in similar way of Gwen is the reason he escapes the prison. So I believe that Frederick will help Gwen to awakes, be it directly or indirectly - and Lilyth will help as part of variable to help Gwen. Make the 3 variables (Lilyth, Gwen, Frederick) be part of "breaking the spell" - which the first as spell of imprisonment already broken, now slumber spell

END: Let's see various screenshoots about self-love! It could be hints to predict the future!!!

I think the club ideas of self-love is giving hints:

@ Lean to (us) that loves you - at the season 4 Gwen changes her notion of love (from at the start shattered to couldn't self-love, to her sisters [the one that works but mere moment] and her friends at the CPC [there's still cracks but small) that to Frederick, romantic love interest, completely. Prez alrdy warns about this, twice but Gwen didn't heed the warning

@ believe (us) when we tell that you're beautiful. For now Gwen didn't believe at all that she's beautiful, espc because her reflection becomes so creepy it totally not showing her entire face. I feel during the gala as now Gwen anchors herself totally to Frederick's love, the previous love source from her siblings along with the CPC can't work. This make Gwen should believe in one, or multiple sources at once: believing that she truly beautiful herself (Leopold hints by apple pie and autumn example, will you hate them if others said they hate those two? No), believing what Frederick tell to him as a truth without forcing notion (it could be happen with Frederick assuring Gwen again that she's beautiful, her dreamscape could hear sounds from outside world - but Fred not yet near Gwen) or the motherly love as Lilyth enters her dream (one of biggest problem for this, is that Gwen could be SUS over Lilyth as she never know her before, and the witch say that the soul can't communicate or touch with anyone)

@ remember that you never alone : I won't tell much because i know there's nice theory about in by someone in cpc blr but I forgot exactly, but dream! Gwen wears her mother's robe - so it's the hint that Lilyth is the key for Gwen's self love

The self-love that being rushed over as shown in the panel of episode 146, it's indeed not right solution to skip forward (to happy ending)

Let's back to the BBW - big bad wolf (real last!)

BBW basically chasing and breaking havoc in Gwen's dreamscape, like urging her to awake from the slumber spell but in violent way and I am afraid if that could harms Gwen somehow. I feel it's identity being so important as the key for gwen breaks the slumber spell thou. And idk if it's just me bit the very last place that Gwen in, is similar with prison cell Fred trapped? Coincidence?? Am I overanalyzing? Well~

[what-gs-watching]

“Sunlight over me, no matter what I do.”

This week on what G’s watching - what G’s listening to. 

This is exciting!

Gang, I told you content is how I apparently digest my feelings, and a big ol’ part of that is music. Always has been, my dad has this crazy extensive collection of albums. When I was a kid he always had something on in the car, or playing from the old stereo in our living room. One of my favorite memories is listening to the Beatles’ White Album with him on long afternoons. He’d let me dance around on his feet, and we’d sing every single one, I was the eight year old who knew the entire thing by heart.

Music is a core fucking memory for me, it’s my dad in a nutshell. I remember one year for Christmas, he gave me a bunch of burned cd’s - all of the Beatles broken up by time period, Cat Stevens, Bob Dylan, Joni Mitchell,  a set of discs that included the top songs broken out by month between 1964 and 1968, six in total. The tracks, he told me eventually, perfectly encapsulated the way those different seasons felt to him - The March/April disc really feels like springtime.

If you knew my dad, you’d know that the effort he put into it was much  more than his usual Christmas attempts, which were: my mother buying the gifts and then writing his name on the tag. 

So the point is: music can be an incredible thing and it’s a large part of who I am. I could write an entire post about all of that (and one about the Beatles, and one about Paul McCartney specifically, and one about Adele, and one about Bo Burham…see, I’m nuanced)  but I won’t. Right now, at least. 

Because I want to talk about Fleet Foxes. Specifically, Helplessness Blues.

This album came into my life at a weird time, I’d moved to a new city and was working my first ever real tech job and I was living with my sister, trying to figure my shit out. Which involved coworker-turned-friend drama because at the time I was absolutely not the best person, and it was very early 20’s of me. You know, when everything feels frenetic and you aren’t sure what the fuck you’re supposed to be doing with your life, so you’re just…doing random things, all the things. 

Which made me extremely susceptible to the creeping kind of darkness infused with hope the album has. I have a penchant for indie folk bands. I can’t help it. I fucking love guitar and thrumming drums with violins and shit. It just feels real to me. Authentic. Organic.

So it’s no wonder Fleet Foxes pulled me. I had a couple of their other songs on random playlists but had never attempted to listen to their first release. And then one day I was getting my oil changed, sitting in the waiting room and I read a review of Helplessness Blues in a magazine, probably Rolling Stone. I immediately bought it, which wasn’t really like me at the time - I was deep into stitching together random lists on my ipod, pulling tracks from all over the place, but I felt like I had to.  Thankfully.

I don’t know what it is about this album, but it’s the perfect mix of mauldin, shiny, twisted, uneasy, exciting, overwhelming. It feels like there’s a story to it, it’s cohesive and purposeful, but I couldn’t tell you what the narrative actually is. And that’s probably the point. It’s whatever the story is to you, and man this album for me is angst and questioning and accepting. It’s become one of those perfect albums you can listen to, never skipping a track, because they’re always a little different depending on the mood you’re in.

And right now, I'm in a weird mood. I’m lost in my life again, and angst sounds about right, so I put the album  on this afternoon after I’d finished my unemployment application and tried to harass the pharmacy for my husband, did some laundry, some dishes, random life things. I decided all I wanted to do with my Friday was chill the fuck out, blast Helplessness Blues through my airpods, and just, be with myself, and  something familiar. Inside my own brain, but with something comforting, lulling me in the background. 

I wanted to wrap myself up in something, and this was the perfect choice. Apparently one of my coping mechanisms is to just put some music on and let it overwhelm me, turning the volume up as high as I can tolerate, and singing along as needed at the top of my lungs. It’s honestly therapeutic. 

That’s what Helplessness Blues is good for. Because it’s quite a production. You can get lost in the story and it’ll morph into whatever you need at the time. Today it’s a squirming  sense of unease, but also triumph. It’s so good.

I could probably talk about all of the tracks, I’m not going to lie, but that sounds exhausting; they’re still lulling my brain right now and I don’t feel like I could pick out each one well enough, they flow together too well. 

However, The Shrine / The Argument is fucking ambitious. It’s so many different things all at once and it’s almost confusing as one song but eventually it’s really, really not. It’s weird and it ends with a horrible cacophony but then delivers really soft and agonizing violins. It has some of my favorite lyrics from the entire album:

In the morning waking up to terrible sunlight / All diffuse like skin abuse the sun is half its size

When you talk you hardly even look in my eyes

In the doorway holding every letter that I wrote / In the driveway pulling away putting on your coat

In the ocean washing off my name from your throat

Because, who hasn’t felt like that? It’s a really specific loss. How else can you say something like that? 

This is clearly getting away from me, but that’s okay. This is what I wanted to do today. I don’t do this very often, Helplessness Blues isn’t in my regular rotation, because it deserves to be listened to and I don’t always have that kind of time. I’m thankful that I do today though, I’m almost through my second rotation, and it's helping. I’m updating the story that it is, for me. Next time I listen to it, it’ll remind me of this stupid thing I’m going through and all that I am right now, a little bit. 

For example: listening to Blue Spotted Tail was very Crowley and Aziraphale today.  That’s apparently where I am, so now it’s part of the story. 

Why in the night sky are the lights hung? Why is the earth movin’ around the sun? Floating in the vacuum with no purpose not a one…

Poor little Antony J.

 Why is life made only for to end? Why do I do all this waiting then? Why this frightened part of me that's fated to pretend?

So. If you need to feel ways about things (we all do, now and again, right) this album will do it for you. And this is a terrible love letter to it, but just…trust me.

[sternbilder]

guess who spent her saturday making a giant-ass spreadsheet of all the media she remembers consuming and/or wants to consume, sorted into 10 categories, alphabetized, ranked, and filtered by completion status

[houseofashesif]

𝐍𝐈𝐊𝐈𝐓𝐀 ❝ 𝐍𝐈𝐊𝐊𝐈 ❞ 𝐒𝐀𝐊𝐀𝐋𝐀𝐔𝐒𝐊𝐀𝐒 𝐕𝐈𝐊𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐎𝐕𝐈𝐂𝐇

𝐂𝐎𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄 ;; Erebrus, named after Greek god of primordial darkness

[ 20 || 6'2 || cis - male || androsexual lithromantic || ❤ ash & rin ]

𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐎𝐎𝐒

a big tattoo on his back spanning nearly the entirity of his upper back. one can even see the floral pattern by the side of his neck from a certain angle

𝐅𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐎𝐍

𝑪𝑨𝑺𝑼𝑨𝑳 : everyday casual clothing , which is usually either all black or has some in it , but never without it

𝑩𝑼𝑺𝑰𝑵𝑬𝑺𝑺 :

𝑭𝑶𝑹𝑴𝑨𝑳 : he just likes a lot of burgundy and maroon red

𝑶𝑽𝑬𝑹𝑪𝑶𝑨𝑻 : being the classic guy he is, Nikita likes wearing long trench coats over his suits whenever he's off to a super important meeting or something

𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐃𝐎𝐖 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐊

this but with a lot more shadows around the edges leaving over the lower half of the face barely visible

𝐕𝐄𝐇𝐈𝐂𝐋𝐄

bugatti divo

𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐀

pronouns ➜ he / him

build ➜ athletic

height ➜ 6'2"

guns ➜ sköll & hati

ice cream ➜ mint chocolate chip

breakfast ➜ belgian waffles with a drizzle of maple syrup

take - out ➜ a crispy chicken burger

sweets ➜ classic chocolate cake

drinks ➜ herbal tea & espresso macchiato

◾️ his MBTI type would be ISTP-A (Assertive Virtuoso). a Virtuoso (ISTP) is someone with the Introverted, Observant, Thinking, and Prospecting personality traits. they tend to have an individualistic mindset, pursuing goals without needing much external connection. they engage in life with inquisitiveness and personal skill, varying their approach as needed. which in a nutshell basically embodies his whole "do it my way or hit the highway" mindset

◾️ Nikita usually prefers to keep his gaze away from people unless he’s speaking, keeping his eyes down to the ground whenever he’s all alone by himself for reasons to be discussed later. but in the rare times when you finally meet his gaze then you’ll finally realise how deep yet bright of an emerald green his eyes are, almost resembling an uncut emerald. they are surrounded in thick black coloured lashes which make his eye colour pop out even more. they seem almost hypnotic in a sense, mesmerising and trapping people in those deep pools of green. however they are just as scary. whenever Nikita feels a very rare yet sudden burst of bloodlust or anger his eyes turn into a muddy, dirty green. they become more sharp and calculating, losing the lazy and carefree glint in them, even soulless as some describe. people have even pointed out how his darkened eyes resemble ones similar to a dead fish’s.

◾ suffers from myopia or nearsightedness and is therefore required to wear glasses. however he vehemently refuses to wear them, and instead goes for lens instead or none at all

◾️ *seductively takes off glasses* "wow, you are so fucking blurry."

◾️ other than his hellhounds, who he likes to call by various flower names (i.e. lily, rose, iris, buttercup and etc), Nikita also likes to create shadow ravens who serve as his messengers from the sky, thus his crow inspired mask.

◾️ apart from depression, Nikita also suffers from post - traumatic stress disorder or ptsd (courtesy of his fathers death), anorexia nervosa, bodily dysmorphic disorder and mild insomnia.

◾️ one of his main hobbies is collecting. as a kleptomaniac, Nikita usually gets quite … creative with his hobby of ‘collecting’ stuff, especially the shiny ones. he doesn't really collect much, but when he does its large in quantity and amazing in quality. his favourite things to buy + collect are music boxes.

◾️ although he's not yet ready to accept Yvette back in his life, Nikita for now, has chosen to simply avoid his confusing feelings about his mother but focusing on the mission in hand (but still he's saved her contact as "Deadbeat Mom" in his phone)

◾️ in terms of love, oh boy, Nikita is super dense, so he probably wouldn't even realize he's got a crush until somebody slaps him across the face figuratively by telling him straight - up clearly by stating facts even he can't deny or some miracle of an epiphany strikes him out of nowhere – when he's still oblivious he'd probably be more docile and kinder towards the crush, probably being slightly overprotective and flirting without knowing it. when he's not-so-oblivious anymore, cue the flusteredness and avoidance because he's embarrassed! let the drama ensue!

◾️ he chose "Elysium Cleanup Crew" as the group name, mainly because he wasn't ready to start another war in the group chat about the names, plus it seemed the most logical to him then, in his still sleep muddled brain

◾️ more info shall be added once available

IF :: @vendetta-if

[nightswithkookmin]

As a member of the LGBTQ community did you notice any queer themes in the Set Me Free MV?

Any thing resonated with you?

I know you mean well but the phrasing of your ask is a little bit triggering for me. I don't like to be referred to as a member of the LGBT community. I only use that in a self deprecating fashion. I prefer to be called a queer woman/person or if you must, a proud member of the gay association of excellent human beings🤭

A lot of things resonate with me- his entire being for one. Everything he says and does is preemptively gay-conic. Only a rainbow brigade can have the audacity Park Jimin has. And if that sounds like I'm looking down on hets- I am. Not even gonna front.

Something about the hugeness of the song reminds me of New Orleans. And New Orleans reminds me of

Listen to the beat and the instrument and how hard it hits on the trumpets.

That sound is transformative and lends it power and majesty to songs. And I don't think the boner was intentional but just juxtaposing these two images....

I'm sensing a theme here.

Combined with the lyrics of I'm not gonna hide anymore even if it hurts- listen I'm delulu and he's not helping his case at all.

The lyrics of the song resonates right down to the comments about Hennessey at night which I've already pointed out. Substance abuse and hiding is something I'm all too familiar with. He seems to be handling it well if all he's doing is drinking💀

I feel he almost pivoted into some really dark themes there but backed away from it. You have to be a night dweller to catch on. Once you do, you feel edged and triggered and teased. You want more cos misery loves company. I wish he went there so my feelings are validated and I don't feel like its just me.

His video is so satisfying to watch cos you get to release the tension that's built up in you vicariously by watching him get his release

I promise Tumblr we are not talking bout points don't flag my post🤧

I don't know if that speaks to a general broader theme of queerness or its just a personal thing for me.

In a nutshell, this song feels like his coming out