#*queue my hyperventilating*

[frnkiebby]

LEX YOU HAVE YOUR OWN FRIMAGES HOW DO YOU FEEL??????

UN FUCKING REAL

IM STILL NOT OKAY

MY MIND IS STILL BLOWN

like i can obvs still function, i have errands today, but like i think ill be on cloud 245920 because of this for a WHILE and im just— i fucking met frank iero what the f u c k~🎃

(also my aunt threw me under the bus—

auntie- you should see her (<-ew pls) room, it’s all frank iero!

me- OH MY GOD PLS no it’s not i swear, it’s only the rock sound award magazine

frank- *throws up his hands* hey i’m not judgin’

[i didn’t see bc i was dead atp, but my aunt said that he looked to her and winked then smirked and we turned for the pics, so he 100% didn’t believe me but found it hilarious ig]

so like kill me)

[yikes-ajax]

I dont have a clever and witty sarcastic comment tonight, I just think she's cute

[whumpneto]

Whumptober 2023- No. 1: “But now this room is spinning while I’m trying just to fill in all the gaps.” Safety Net | Swooning | “How many fingers am I holding up?”

Milo Ventimiglia as Peter Petrelli in Heroes (S01E23)

[cressidagrey]

No update today, because my horse (aka my overgrown dog with no survival instincts) managed to spook so badly that she face planted on the ground and is now going lame. (She would not survive 5 minutes in the wilderness.)

Horse is fine. Vet saw her, it's just bruises. She already wants more carrots. Meanwhile, I had half a heart attack and started hyperventilating, so that was fun. (I am fine too, but I'll go to bed now, kay? The Queue is up and running so you'll get me answering questions.)

[nats-bottom]

SJ - Doctor's Office

Summary: Reader has anxiety about going to the doctor's office and Scarlett calms her down and distracts her.

Pairings: Scarlett Johansson and Reader

Warnings: Doctor's office, almost-panic attack, swearing, anxiety and depression mentions, medication mentions.

Notes:

I also have accounts on Wattpad and AO3! The users there are @ paige_vers

Please give me requests! You can submit them here or on my insta, @ scarlettsoutset

ᨖᨖೱᨖ⧗ᨖⴵᨖ🕷️ᨖⴵᨖ⧗ᨖೱᨖᨖ

I dreaded these days. They didn't happen often, but when they did, they always sucked. As soon as I was 16, my mom made me go to all my doctor's appointments by myself. And this year is no different. Even though it's just my yearly check-up, I still get very nervous. What if they find something wrong? What if I'm really sick? I just get all these worries in my head that don't seem to go away. 

My appointment isn't until three in the afternoon, but that's all I can think about. It's currently ten AM, but I'm just pacing around the living room of the house that me and my girlfriend, Scarlett shared. Scarlett was out getting groceries, but she should be back any minute. Then as if on queue, I hear the front door open. Unable to stop my pacing, I keep up my pacing while I hear Scarlett put away the frozens and drop the rest of the bags of groceries on the ground. I feel hands on my shoulders and look up to see Scarlett in front of me. I stop pacing and look into her beautiful, forest green eyes.

"Breathe with me" She says, taking deep breaths in and out. I didn't even realize that I was hyperventilating, but I started to follow her breathing pattern after a few breaths. Once I've calmed down enough, Scarlett takes my hands and sits us down on a couch. "Is it the doctor's appointment?" She asks, almost as if she already knows.

I nod my head, still too shaken up to speak. Her thumbs rub patterns on the back of my hands. I look down at my lap, feeling ashamed for getting all worked up over a simple appointment. 

"Hey, look at me." Scarlett says. I look up at her, worry still written all over my face. "It'll be ok. You'll be perfectly fine and healthy. You eat well, you take care of your skin, you exercise, you have no symptoms. You have nothing to be worried about." 

She lets go of one of my hands and cups my cheek. "Do you want me to go with you?" I nod, still nervous to speak, of fear that my voice might crack. This means a lot to me, as I've been going to these appointments alone for years. This will be the first time I will have gone with someone else besides my mother, and I'm glad it's Scarlett. Even though we have only been together for a year now, I'm glad she cares enough about me to go with me. For my last appointment, Scarlett was away filming. If she was here, I know that she would've come. 

"I've got to go put away the rest of the groceries. Do you want to come help me? It might take your mind off of the appointment." I nod in agreement. Scarlett gets up and gives me a hand of hers to help me get up. I take her hand and walk with her to the kitchen. I start to put away the groceries, and she walks over toward the speaker system. She looks through her phone for a minute, and grins. She turns on the speaker system, and connects her phone, playing my favorite music. Music that she knows I can't resist not dancing and singing to. She walks back over, swaying her hips to the beat, and I watch her, biting my lip. I switch my focus back to the groceries, oblivious to the fact that Scar has now abandoned her task of putting away the groceries and now is dancing along to the music. 

As I put the last few things away, I hum a bit to the music. When I put the last thing away, I actually sing a little bit. Once I am all done, I turn around, and see Scarlett dancing to the music. 

"So that's why I had to put away everything by myself. You-" I boop her nose "Were busy dancing, you cutie."

"Care to join me?" Scarlett says as she outstretches her hand to me. I gladly take it. She twirls me around, and then puts one hand on my hip. She keeps a hold of my other hand, and I put my free hand on her shoulder. We sway to the music as we both sing-shout along to the music.

The next song to come on is a slower song, so we don't shout to the music as much, but instead just sing at a normal volume. She leans in closer to me, nuzzling her head in my neck. Her arm snakes around my back, and mine around her neck. We just sway to the music, holding each other tight and close. 

Once the slow song is over, we let go of each other and start to dance our asses off to the next few songs. That's when I feel my phone buzz in my pocket. I check to see what it says, and it's a reminder that my appointment is in one hour. 

I start to panic again, and Scarlett notices. She takes a quick glance at the clock first, realizing the time, and envelopes me in a hug. I hug Scar back, taking in her scent. Her hugs always help me calm down. She pulls back peppers my face in kisses. Once my face has been fully appreciated, she rests her forehead on mine, looking into my eyes. I look back into her sparkling eyes, and let out a sigh. She always knows how to calm me down. 

"Let's go darling." Scarlett says. She knows that if she were to mention the doctor's, that might've made me panic again. She grabs her phone and her keys in one hand, and takes my hand in the other. We walk in silence to the car, where Scarlett opens the door for me and helps me get in. She gets in on her side, and after she starts the car, she connects her phone and continues the same playlist from before.

We both sing along the whole ride there. Once we get there, I'm hesitant to get out, so Scarlett comes over to help me out. She opens my door and undoes my seatbelt for me. She takes my hand, and just stands there, holding it.

"Come on, my love. We can't avoid this forever. You got this. I believe in you. Now let's get this over with." She says lovingly. She takes my hand up to her mouth and kisses my knuckles. 

I eventually get out of the car, and we walk hand in hand to the building and through the doors. I check in at the front desk, and we sit down together. We keep holding hands, and at one point she brings them up to her mouth, kissing the whole back of my hand. She knows this will keep my calm and keep my mind occupied. Before I know it, the door opens and they call out my name.

"y/n?" The nurse said. I get up and look at Scarlett. She is still sitting down, probably expecting to stay out here the entire time.

Still holding her hand, I say "You're coming with me, silly." She shoots me a playful grin, one that always gives me butterflies, and gets up, walking with me to the exam room. 

The nurse ushers me to sit on the exam bed, while he suggests Scarlett sit on one of the chairs that's in the room. "I think I'll stand," Scarlett says, still not letting go of my hand. She helps me get up on the exam bed, and stands next to me, holding my hand with her hand furthest away from me and rubbing my back with her other hand. The nurse takes my vitals, then walks out of the room. We wait a few minutes for the doctor, who eventually comes in.

The doctor comes in and tells me that everything looks normal, and the only thing that needs to be changed are my head meds. These are what me and Scar call my anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds. She gives me a new prescription and tells me to come back next year. 

She leads us to the front desk, where I schedule an appointment for next year. We walk out the car, and as soon as we're both inside, I let out a huge sigh of relief. 

"You did great, sweetie. I'm so very proud of you." Scarlett says, looking at me and resting a hand on my thigh. I put a hand of mine of top of hers, where it stays for the drive home.

[chaotic--nat]

MITSKI'S ON THE QUEUE, TIME TO WRITE VILLANEVE ANGST EVEN THOUGH IM HAPPY.

currently playing: once more to see you - mitski

(killing eve spoilers below </3)

- eve managed to get villanelle's body out of the water, she cried hysterically and tried to save her...she hyperventilated, gave her mouth to mouth, screamed for help yet no once came to assistance so it's as if the love of her life died in her arms.

- while nelle tried to downplay her feelings for eve, she knew that it was more than just an obsession. every time eve "betrayed" her, it hurt her. when eve sent her away, when eve stabbed her, fuck, even when eve went through with killing somebody and running away, only to back out later. nelle didn't want to shoot eve

- eve plays the recording of that plush "admit it eve, you wish I was there." and now that nelle's gone, she misses her more than ever. one day, the recording stopped working and eve cried herself through the night and begged for it to work again and begged for nelle to come back.

- eve wears the perfume that nelle gifted her. she only does a singular spray to make it last.

- villanelle wouldn't take shit from anyone, but if it was eve being mean to her, she'd accept it.

I don't know where my emotions are coming from I'm actually very happy right now, but I just started thinking about killing eve, I think I should unclench my jaw

[lucy-dulap]

I have a long way to go until Abaddon, so let me just write smth for it.

Asmodeus was very aware that the child of his ex was wondering around hell. Not only that, but they were being followed by that elusive dragon that Lucifer seemed to gatekeep between the borders of his kingdom.

To say he was intrigued would be the understatemant of the century. He needed the two of them. Here, now, with him. Not even necesserly in a sexual way. He needed to see them, hear them, feel them. A need like this rarely showed itself in Asmodeus, especially after his wife's passing. His eyes were wide and he was practicly shivering with excitment.

"DANTALIAN!" he roared and the younger devil ran upstairs, subconciously knowing that something important must have happened for his father to raise his voice over his usual whisper. Before he could even speak, Asmodeus ripped his shirt and wrote down the name of the two on his skin.

"Lucy and Gamigin... wait Gamigin, I think I know that guy."

"I don't care. Seduce them and bring them here to me." The king stormed into his chambers, chains ratling as he walked.

Dantalian had spoken with Gamigin in the past and he knew that him and Lucy were dating and have been for a few months now. While Gamigin rarely posted on social media, that wasn't the case for the rest of hell. A celebrity like MC was bound to get stalked by many. It didn't take long before the young prince pin pointed Lucy's location to be a famous club Abyssos. The perfect place to strike, and it was close too!

Neither Lucy nor Gamigin liked the club. The music was too loud, everyone was wasted on the floor, people were humping eachother in the middle of the dance floor. Lucy was hidden behind a stack of clothing besides Gamigin, but once they sneezed, the whole club went silent.

"THE CHILD OF SOLOMON IS HERE!" Gamigin tried to protect Lucy from the crowd but it was too big for one person to fight off. Lucy was grabbed from all limbs and pulled in different directions. They started to hyperventilate and the devils pushed something into their mouth to calm them down. Gamigin was loud, but the crowd was louder and Lucy felt their thoughts becoming fuzzy. Everything seemed so far away and they could swear they could feel the skin stratching across their body.

In their intoxicated state, they saw Gamigin somewhere in the crowd and instictively walked towards him. "Gami... Gami, I'm gonna... feed the duckies..."

Gamigin dragged them to his chest and started caressing their hair. "There there, you'll be fine, it was just a bit of alcohol. You won't die from a glass of wine."

As on queue, Lucy puked on Gamigin's shirt, dranching it in vomit. Dantalian's disguise faltered for a second. Did the human just do what he thinks they did. He was disgusted by the display and puzzled regarding the tolerance of the poor being.

"I'll go... to the bathroom to grab something to wash this off." Dantalian whispered before running to a corner. An idea struck him and instead of cleaning himself, he just shapeshifted into Lucy and ran up to Gamigin.

"Love, I have suffered great misfortune. Can we please go outside so you may take care of me, great doctor Gamigin~?" He tried to say it in the most seductive way possible as he grabbed Gamigin's flat chest.

"What?! Are you ok? Seems like there's still alcohol in your system. Do you have to go outside? I have a water bottle ready just in case. Did anyone try to mate with you?" Gamigin was speaking loudly and swiftly, as he dragged the disguised Dantalian outside the club and into the strange alley way.

"Oh, doctor~ why don't you take off my dirty shirt? We can both strip eachother and have a full physical exam."

Gamigin.exe has stopped working. He pressed his free hand on Dantalian's forhead. "I think you have a fever."

"Of course, doctor! I'm in heat because of you~" Dantalian tried very hard to seduce Gamigin but only seemed to concern him more. The dragon looked left and right paniced. "I heard Furfur opened a clinic here in Abyssos, perhaps he could help us. Why are the streets of this country so complicated!" Gamigin took out his phone to try and find the clinic, but before he could press search the real Lucy got out of the bar.

If Gamigin was confused before, now he was uterly lost. Dantalian took of his disguise and growned. "For fuck's sake, just have sex!" The two lovers blushed but they kept staring puzzled at the other demon.

"His majesty Asmodeus sent me to take you to Abaddon." Dantalian gave up on being sneaky and just confested. "Oh, we are going there tonight! We already have the train tickets bought and ready." Now it was Dantalian's turn to be confused, but a smile creeped on his face.

"23 o'clock train, Abyssos-Abaddon 3 hour ride?"

Gamigin and Lucy nodded and Dantalian beamed.

"Me too! Let's go, friends, we wouldn't want to miss the train. I'll keep you in my bedroom during the ride. It's quite late so you might want to sleep."

With that, the three youngsters took the train to the horny jail of Hell, Abaddon.

[awsugar]

best mcr songs and why

ok well my top 5: heaven help us, boy division, deathwish, vampires, famous last words

only the first two are in specific order

heaven help us has been my favorite mcr song for a looooooong time and it’s like. MY song. everyone i know knows what is my song. when i listen to it in the car, before the tour even started, i envision myself on barricade hearing it live and i CRY!! every time, like i’ve cried in a full face of makeup listening to heaven help us on the way to work multiple times. it’s the best….it’s everything. the first time they played it live on tour in europe my friend who i had never spoken to on the phone before CALLED ME AT WORK to tell me about it and i had to go hyperventilate in the bathroom. i held out hope all tour hoping i would get ut at one of my shows and i DIDNT!!! when tour was like over and they played it twice in la i literally was sitting in my bed SOBBING! at like 2am on the east coast…but listen i’m putting out the energy for them to play it at wwwy….surely they will have the time to play the bsides! or at least one of them. i’m serious like ok yes, hearing tbp live in full twice is going to change the trajectory of my life all over again!! i cant even imagine me and all my friends together hearing the heart monitor start without thinking well surely someone is going to projectile vomit…like. it’s that. it’s that serious. i’m going to rethink and grace and shit my pants and cry and scream and i may need to be airlifted out of the las vegas festival grounds. but heaven help us….i cant die until i get heaven help us!!

boy division just. fuck. it slays. i remember when it leaked. like the night before it came out there was a preview of it on like german amazon or something 😭 and i remember i kept listening to those 30 seconds over and over again and CRYING!!!! like sobbing, if i could get my og macbook to turn on i have really embarrassing pics of myself bawling on photo booth FHDEIKEK. but also i remember thinking, when it came out, i ALWAYS thought like oh my god this is going to go so hard live. SO HARD. and then they broke up and every single time i listened to it i thought about how we would never get to hear it live and what a damn fucking shame that was. and then they reunited and i went to the shrine and they played make room and i was like ooooooh. well now there is a REAL chance that i could hear boy division one day. i manifested it for the 2.5 years between that show and the tour and when i saw the eden 1 setlist leak before the show and boy division was on it i actually like almost shat in the office at work. and then yes they played it at my first show on the tour mk1 and like at least half of my shows on the tour i swear i made that happen by sheer force of will.

deathwish. just always been one of my favorites, it goes SO hard, it’s so fun to sing, it really like the melody of it just pulls on my heart it tugs it makes me so melancholy so. i don’t even know what feelings it invokes it just makes me FEEL. this big bubble in my chest. and the lyrics are so good like it’s really a quintessential mcr song for me. no one else writes music like that.

vampires is just like. idk the iconic. the first single. it “locked in that darkness” i remember when they played it for the first time in philly, bc we were all camping for albany which was the next night and we were watching the stream around a someone macbook in the queue and when vampires started ohhhh it was over!!! they played it at my first show in 2011 and even though i have like a horrible memory especially for my childhood/teenage years and i don’t REMEMBER my first mcr show i always like remembered the fact that vampires was like the best live performance of a song i’d ever heard, and i have been to a LOT of shows and i’ve seen a LOT of bands and vampires never fails!

and flw, listen…i know people like to hate on it!!! idgaf. it will never get old. i will never tire of it. it will never not hit me so hard. i remember being a depressed teenager and laying in bed at night not able to sleep just listening to flw over and over and over in order to make it through. plus hearing the crowd sing the bridge at every show ever…it’s the most magical thing in the world to me!!!!

[witchmd13]

Cw medical trauma and accidental overdose

So this morning i accidentally took 2 pills from my medication instead of one. I'm already taking the max dose for my meds so i instantly started panicking. I called my gp and explained the situation literally shaking and crying becasue i thought i accidentally overdosed lol anway my gp receptionist just very calmly was like yeah okay, the doctor will call you back this afternoon. no explanations nothing. she didn't even let me talk to a nurse or any medical professional. I was here hyperventilating and 2 seconds away from calling 999 telling her that I'm diabetic and i live alone if it's safe for me to wait and she was like maam you're in a queue i need you to hang up? luckily i managed to get my pharmacist on the phone later and he explained what i should do but that woman didn't give me anything she's not even trained medically it was just a horrible experience

[nobleclover]

Rescue

Ross had been driving around Dublin city all night looking for Maureen. She had turned while he went to buy some lamb chops for her but got delayed. When he returned, the entire living room looked like a bomb had gone off from outside the window.

Contrary to what some people believe, purebred werewolves usually transformed on the moon they were born under. Plus, metamorphosis doesn't kick in until puberty, so growing pains were more painful for werewolves than humans. Tonight was a half moon (Maureen's moon), and it was lashing rain. Of course, an incident like this would happen on a miserable night like tonight.

He was driving past a small housing estate when a large mass of fur bounded out in front of his car, causing him to slam on the brakes in a panic. The creature's blonde fur glistened in the blinding headlights as she began to face a startled Ross. Relief washed over him as the creature's familiar soft green eyes sparkled as she recognised him back. Her ears drooped morosely, as if a stream of shame was washed upon her. Ross reassuringly shook his head and motioned for her to move out of the way, to which she obeyed.

Driving slowly out the way he came, Maureen crept after him, slinking into a hedgerow to avoid being surveilled by any nosy residents. Once he was parked a little ways away under a street lamp, he opened the back door of the car and motioned for her to get in. She cautiously looked around before running towards the car and squirming into the backseat. Ross gently tucked her long tail in with her before closing the door and driving her home.

The silence between the two friends was really awkward, especially since the journey home was quite long. Plus, Maureen could be heard wincing and hyperventilating as she regained her human form. Breaking the silence, Ross sheepishly admitted, "I got delayed getting those lamb chops. There was a large queue and a traffic jam before I went to your place."

Maureen slowly lifted her head as she was partially human again, her blonde fur now coating the entirety of the backseat. She could only manage a shrug and replied, smiling, "No worries, I'm still up for them."

Then she realised..."Oh god, did I make a mess?"

"You destroyed the front living room and burst through the window."

"Ugh, I'll have to call my cousin about it in the morning. Thank god I live out in the sticks. Thanks for fetching me, by the way."

"Any time!" Ross chuckled

[cottagecori]

last night i had a dream where i was at a karaoke night, not in a bar - in a giant ass auditorium. BUT every time i went to this ipad thing to put myself in the queue, someone would get onstage and sing that exact song. so now, i'm hyperventilating in the dream because "everyone has my good taste which means my taste is boring!" and then i woke up

[yikes-ajax]

Yikes! No blog intro? No longer!

What's UP my DUDES, it's time to sit the FUCK up (seriously, straighten your back you animal) and LISTEN UP. I am the MOST disinteresting person you will EVER meet and yet here we are. My name is AJ or sometimes Roary (if you know you know, hey besties) and have the stupidest cat ever and that's IT. But to fill the void in my metaphorical and dead heart, and really just to appease my need to feel special, here's the basics.

I am:

- An adult (aka throwing more temper tantrums than I did as a kid)

- Use any pronouns, enjoyer of the they/them

- American (insert sigh here)

- Disabled (mobility and neurological)

Blog Navigation

Main: 🌟 You're here!

Fandom blog (hyperventilation hell): @yikes-fandom-fuckery

Under the cut is just some extra info if you really feel like boring yourselves ↓

The

Nitty Gritty

For those who care about the details for some reason??

- I alternate between canes, crutches, and a wheelchair (my dad once called my car a medical store) so when I make stupid jokes about being crippled or shit it's because I'm disabled and don't know how to cope

- You don't need my health records (I am a simp for my neurologist and don't need your opinions from five minutes of searching google), but what I occasionally talk about and am comfortable sharing is that I have functional neurological disorder (fnd), non-epileptic seizures (thanks fnd), poor mobility (thanks again fnd), and so... So many mental issues, as you can probably guess, such as PTSD, the spicy kind of depression that needs 3 different meds to stabilize, a sensory processing disorder I was diagnosed with so long ago I don't remember the name of (is that mental or physical??), OCD that made a therapist cry, and other bullshit

- I've got severe social anxiety but I'm trying my best to get out of my shell, so don't hesitate to interact, just forgive my rambling and nervousness

- I'm surprisingly Christian. Shocker ik. Born and raised Baptist though so I stay in my lane. Yeah, I know I cuss constantly. I personally don't believe it's a sin and simply find cussing funny because I'm your average young adult 🤷 I'm not here to preach or debate religion, but it is a big part of my identity and you are for some reason reading this so if anything this is on you

- I sometimes go dark, but I'm fine, I'm likely just busy or obsessed with a video game and my queue has run out.

The

Cast

↑ Rosie (the basement goblin main character) and PJ (the pacifist turned genocidal but still total baby) ↓

↓ Rue (the batshit insane anarchist) and Allie ↓ (the bottom of the food chain that is in perpetual fear, but hey, she has an extra toe so that's cool, but seizures which isn't)

And me, AJ (the bitchass blog runner you'll hopefully never see the face of) ↓

Do not interact:

My neighbors cat 😤😡🖕😾

Encouraged to interact:

Aliens, goblins, werewolves (hey mamas 😎), marine biologists, people who ever feel like a plastic bag drifting through the wind, little guys, little clown guys (THIS IS A SAFE SPACE FOR CLOWNS, I REPEAT, SILLY LITTLE GUYS ARE WELCOME!!), those discontent with their mortal flesh and wish to break from endless spiral of human destruction, little meow meows, anarchists, Dr. Gregory House (please fix me sir), that one hot chick from that one show I watched that one time, DILFS PLEASE, and stupid little fdufcking.. stupid little bitches

All in all,

I'm just here to have a good time and bring some laughter to anyone who wants it. My favorite thing to do is laugh and crack jokes, and if I can make someone else laugh with me, then my purpose here on earth is done. Though, I have a very dry and sarcastic humor that I know can sometimes be hard to read, so please just understand that I'm usually just playing around! I promise I'm not as mean as I seem!

You don't need to worry about anything upsetting here, I try not to post or reblog anything that could dampen someone's day, because not only are y'all here to escape, I am too. This blog will always be safe, I have no interest in discourse, don't care about a DNI, and rarely bother checking who follows me unless you're talking to me. Anonymous asks are on for fellow socially anxious lurkers that wanna talk, but be warned— don't diss my cat 👹

Thanks y'all, love you guys. Stay safe and sleep well ❤️

[kyaaanma]

intro

- call me Jean/J.E. - 24 years old (1999) - he/him/his | pansexual - CEST timezone - multifandom blog

before interacting

- anyone under 18 do not interact - if your age isn't in your bio/pinned post, you will be blocked - some content may be offensive/triggering, but I do my best to tag accordingly. please message me if I missed something.

blog content

- anime/manga/manhwa • Bungou Stray Dogs, Haikyuu!! • BL [Hyperventilation, MDZS, Mignon, TGCF] - literature/mythology • Greek Mythology, Shakespeare - music • Blur, Gorillaz, Nell • K-Pop [Monsta X, Stray Kids, Twice] - series • KinnPorsche - occasional • Avatar the Last Airbender, CLAMP, Dramatical Murder, Hetalia, Homestuck, Transformers

- personal posts tagged #jean posts - I have an ongoing queue of posts, tagged #q (content will be updated as tags are added)

other

- I use Discord, Instagram, and Line if you want to talk :) just message me here first so I know you're adding me there!

[cherrytree-irl]

okay i went outside and hyperventilated for a while i'm good i'm fine i'm. normal.

and whoever sent that ask to N i'm gonna blow you up with a bomb. N's a better partner than i deserve and i don't understand my feelings either it's fine

oh gods the bisexual queue HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

[ningningspapafrita]

NEO GOT MY BLOCK

PROLOGUE

"SUMMER 127"

"Do you see him? Cause I don't see him." Taeyong sighed.

"Something bad is happening. I can feel it. I knew this was a dumb idea!" Johnny whispered, yelled

"Dude, we can't see him cause he's in stealth mode. " Mark reassured.

Taeyong stared forward. The 3 teens observed the bustling backyard party from over the fence. Propped up by a wooden plank courtesy of Mark.

The group had grown anxious awaiting Jaehyuns return.

"No doubt. He's got this. When has Jaehyun ever disappointed?" Taeyong's lips curled into a small smile.

"Mmm, fourth grade. Kickball tourney. " Johnny leaned forward as he interjected. "We lost." He added with a frown.

"Only 'cause I picked the kid with no skills."

The three teens paled, twisting around to the intrusion of their assembly.

Jaehyun stood tall, hugging a few beer cans, amused by their reaction.

"And I'd pick you again." Jaehyun tossed a beer in Johnny's direction with a grin.

Mark and Taeyong happily took the beers from the dark-haired male as he joined them on the plank. Jaehyun cracked his can open. Feeling a strong sense of pride. "Take it in. This is about to be us. This is high-school"

As if on queue the group took swings from their cans, gagging as a result.

Taeyong cleared his throat, looking upon two figures feriouciosly making out.

"Mark." Taeyong furrowed his brows. "You think your brothers gonna marry sicheng?"

Mark followed the others eyes. With a look of disgust. "No idea. Xiaojun doesn't tell me jack. Mark stated with a shrug. Johnny let out a snort, glancing over to mark. "What about the time he said sicheng had a-"

"Time and place dude! "

Mark yelled out in a panick.

The four now awkwardly stood quietly. Mark gulped sensing the discomfort. He looked around catching to a random girl gyrating. Mark licked his lips smirking.

"Yo dudes check out that hot stuff nine o-clock."

The group watched internally cringing at the girls unfortunate attempt at twerking.

"Taeyong if you were a girl."

"-Which I'm not."

"Yeah but if you were a girl like that, would you wear underwear?"

Everybody groaned.

"I'm gonna die, oh I'm gonna die!"

Taeyong rolled his eyes, looking over to a frantic Johnny, crouched down peeking over the fence with a strained expression.

"And why are you gonna die?" He questioned.

Johnny pointed to a considerably large group of guys adorning football jerseys.

"Those guys play for the stays. Did you know that last year alone over a quorum of kids-"

"Died playing football? You're stuck on repeat Johnny. Just don't play." Taeyong cut him off with a huff.

"I have no choice. Pops was a legend, it's family tradition!" Johnny moved off the plank folding in half as he hyperventilated. "IM GONNA DIE!"

Jaehyun and Taeyong followed, reaching over to comfort the boy.

"You're not dead." Taeyong assured. Did Johnny really believe a game of football would kill him?

"CTE is not in your future" Jaehyun added, bending down to get a good look at the whimpering Johnny.

Mark who hadn't moved from the fence snickered, twirling around to face them.

"Guys, check out my game! That girl just gave ma a nod. AH-" Mark yelped as man reached over the fence locking the poor boy in a chokehold.

"You eyeing my girl, Motherfucker?" The man asked in a rough voice.

Mark stiffened up in the man's hold. "W-what? No. God no. I'm not into blondes" He pleaded.

"Easy easy! Your holding your mother's taxes right there. Mr. Kwon right?" Jaehyun spoke up in marks defence. Mark let out a strangled laugh

"Three thousand dollar refund. Schedule C, line 30, home office deduction"

To Mark's dismay, another man had reached over the fence.

"Yo, What' you doing? That's J's lil bro dog"

Both men released the boy. Jaehyun walked over, throwing an arm over a frightened Mark.

The men snickered as they continued. "Hey, listen, tell Jeno we send respect" Jaehyun just nodded. The two men then left.

"Thank God for your brother" Mark sighed holding his aching neck. Jaehyun shook his head in disapproval "Thank God for other things...." he let mark go turning to the other two.

Johnny glanced around in confusion. "Why is it so quiet?"

*BANG*

Screaming had been heard from the other side of the fence but nobody stood long enough to find out. Why would they?

The four teens cut through the side of the house managing to blend in with the other party goers.

"That was a .38!"

"No, Taeyong, it was a .45!" Johnny yelled out over the crowd

"It sounded like a .44!" Mark squeaked as another bullet flew out from the house.

".357!"

The four teens laughed as they split off into opposite directions.

-----

The next day

"Sicheng is pissed!"

Johnny, Mark, and Jaehyun observed Xiaojun and sicheng's embarrassingly loud argument from the window. While Taeyong sat on the couch biting away at his nails.

"He's always pissed. And you would be too if you had to deal with my brother. " Mark looked over to Johnny, whose face dropped in shock

"He's making your brother cry"

"What? My brother doesn't cry- holy crap dude he's crying!"

Xiaojun balled his eyes out, no doubt, giving a good show for any passing vehicles much to sicheng's embarrassment.

Mark and Johnny laughed as Jaehyun walked away.

"Dude, look at him - oh shit!" The two ran away from the window. they hurried to throw themselves on the couch as their eavesdropping session had been cut short by Xiaojun's piercing eyes.

"Here come the water works!"

Jaehyun and Taeyong quickly moved to Join the pair on the couch.

Xiaojun stomped in with a glare.

"Were you guys spying on me?" He growled.

The three of them shook their heads, denying the accusation while Johnny accepted his fate with a nod, earning a nudge from Mark.

Xiaojun's face twisted in agony as he burst into tears.

"You okay homie?" Jaehyun asked face scrunched in concern

Xiaojun sniffled. "Yes.......no.....I DONT KNOW?!" Xiaojun paced around the room, running a hand through his two toned locks. Eventually, he finds his place in front of the coffee table. Scanning the group with a smile.

"Look at you. On the verge of high school. All the excitement!" Xiaojun threw his arms up in exaggeration while snot dripped down his chin.

"All the firsts. First parties, first football games, first love." Xiaojun smirked, slapping his hands together. "Want me to drop some knowledge?

"Not really-"

"High school is the foundation for the rest of your life. Any false starts could lead to your own dead end" Xiaojun scoffed. "Now sure, you guys are smart setting curves and all that, BUT YOU STILL HAVE TO GO HARD! 'Cause there's only one chance at a first impression." Xiaojun clapped, emphasizing every word.

"Now, do you want to sit on the sidelines or play in the game?"

Johnny weakly raised a hand as he spoke up.

"I just - I just don't wanna die"

Taeyong glanced around marks interior design, feeling a little overwhelmed. Is Xiaojun high?

"Yes, he's high. " Xiaojun answered looking directly at him.

'Shit, did I say that outloud?' Taeyong thought.

"High on life and memories, and some seriously good indo." The older sighed "What I'm saying is work hard, put your heart out there, even if it's broken by some bitch you've known since Mr. Choi's seventh grade social studies!" Xiaojun spat through gritted teeth.

The teens leaned back against the couch, growing even more confused. This pep talk started to sound a little too personal.

Xiaojun finally wiped his nose. Placing a hand over his hip. "Anyways.. What I was saying - and you may wanna write this down - don't go into high school without backup. You guys need to stick together to survive. "

he hovered over them with a scrutinizing gaze. They all cringed, hoping this lecture had been over.

"IM GOING TO COLLEGE BABY!" Xiaojun blurted, jumping for joy with a giggle. His face then dropped to a glare.

"Now kiss my class ring." he raised a balled fist, revealing the shiny piece of jewelry. A defeated Mark scooted up to kiss the ring, silently praying this would end the interaction.

Fortunately, feeling satisfied, Xiaojun walked off down the hall.

The four let out collective sighs as they look at eachother.

"See, that's why you dont smoke that stuff.-" Johnny started just as Xiaojun did a 360 sprinting back over.

"I ALMOST FORGOT! don't bone Taeyong" Xiaojun deadpanned.

The four burst into fits of laughter. Taeyong, especially who clutched his stomach from how hard he had been laughing.

"Yeah, and who would want to do that?" Taeyong wheezed.

---

End of prologue.

Chapter 1 may come out later, idk.

[CHAPTER 1.]

[dearpersimmon]

A (platonic) love letter to my friends.

“I know that love can be loud and jubilant. It can be dancing in the swampy mud and the pouring rain at a festival and shouting ‘YOU ARE FUCKING AMAZING’ over the band. It’s introducing them to your colleagues at a work event and basking in pride as they make people laugh and make you look lovable just by dint of being loved by them. It’s a laughing until you wheeze. It’s waking up in a country neither of you have been in before. It’s walking along the street together on a Saturday night and feeling an entire city is just yours. It’s a big, beautiful, ebullient force of nature.

And I also know that love is a pretty quiet thing. It’s lying on the sofa together drinking coffee, talking about where you’re going to go that morning to drink more coffee. It’s folding down pages of books you they’d find interesting. It’s hanging up their laundry when they leave the house having moronically forgotten to take it out of the washing machine. It’s saying, ‘You’re safer here than in a car, you’re more likely to die in one of your Fitness First Body Pump classes than in the next hour,’ as they hyperventilate on an easyJet flight to Dublin. It’s the texts: ‘Hope today goes well’, ‘How did today go?’, ‘Thinking of you today’ and ‘Picked up loo roll’. I know that love happens under the splendour of moon and stars and fireworks and sunsets but it also happens when you’re lying on blow-up air beds in a childhood bedroom, sitting in A&E or in the queue for a passport or in a traffic jam. Love is a quiet, reassuring, pottering, pedantic, harmonious hum of a thing; something you can easily forget is there, even though its palms are outstretched beneath you in case you fall.”

— p318, Everything I Know About Love, by Dolly Alderton (2020)

Borrowing the words said by Dolly Alderton, I hope my friends and loved ones know how much I love them and when they feel my love, I hope it’s similar to the way Dolly described (platonic) love to be. If not I hope someday that it will be. I hope you know how I love you.