#... except for the technical difficulties that I had while drawing this-

[foxygalactic]

Oh hey, I made art for a different fandom! It's for Dandy's World c:

I saw a color palette generator challenge on a discord server, and I got a palette that heavily resembled Astro... so I had to draw him, he's one of my favorites! :D

[c00kietin]

@imytheone WHOO

I HAVE COMPLETED THE DRAWING!!

I shall also tag @allmightyscroll-swag as well cuz I like tagging em in oc related stuff :3

While I have drawn the siblings profiles, and Brittany making some appearances, Imma tell you MORE information about them!! >:D

One quick thing: These four are my oldest ocs (along with two others but you don't know em eheheh) from 2020 and at the time of making them I had just found out what Helluva Boss is. These characters were very much inspired off of them, especially Cici and Brittany.

Let's start off with the youngest:

CICI

Like I said, she is the youngest being around 6-7 years old

Pronouns are she/her, I'll just say aroace since I don't picture her being in a relationship at her age-

Cici is part demon thanks to her mother, but hasn't developed horns or a tail yet.

However, she has some powers, that being super strength and flight!

She can't fly very high, although she is the strongest in the family; being able to lift around the same weight as a van full of people. The older you get, the weaker your powers would become; so their mother would have the weakest powers.

Cici swears more than Onika and Zeke, mainly because of her mother. She gets in trouble at school regularly for this. That and for throwing chairs around. And for biting teachers' ankles. She gets in trouble for a lot of things.

Like all children, she has tantrums at times. But, of course, hers tend to get more...violent. Usually ending up with someone breaking a bone or two.

For hobbies, Cici enjoys drawing, roleplaying with toys and making things (whether that's with Lego or metal scraps-)

She doesn't listen to music as much as her siblings do, but her favourite artists are Pharrel Williams and Five Finger Death Punch.

She has insomnia and has a lot of difficulty sleeping.

Her and Onika love watching TMNT together, and are currently on Rise.

Cici's original design was heavily based off the girl with the large bow and brown curly hair that appeared in the first episode of HB. I was quite unoriginal at the time lol.

ONIKA

Onika is the middle child, being 15 years old.

Her pronouns are she/they, and they are also aroace.

Onika's powers aren't as strong as Cici's, but she can fly better and can piggy-back the weight of two adults.

Onika technically has a tail, but it's now a stub because a group of bullies cut it off.

Yeah. She was bullied when she was younger. She was jeered for being both demon and human, and neither species wanted to be friends with her.

This was also mainly because she had anger issues which caused her to have violent episodes if provoked enough, one time being she almost killed a teenager younger than her.

Luckily, she's gotten better now and is practically never violent. Except in Mariokart.

Onika is usually either hyperactive and energetic, or utterly lazy and unmotivated.

She desperately wants to get Maori tattoos like Zeke but her parents don't allow her.

She hates wearing skirts and having her hair down.

Onika doesn't have a lot of hobbies, but she enjoys trying new foods, skateboarding and playing the guitar.

Her favourite artists are AC/DC, Metallica, Twisted Sister and Iron Maiden.

I'm pretty sure I based the hair off of another character I saw online once, but I can't remember her name- all I know is that the hair isn't original:'D

ZEKE

Zeke is the oldest at 19 years old.

His pronouns are he/him and he's gay.

Zeke uses his powers the least and only really uses them for miniscule tasks around the house like moving a bed or fighting his sister.

Yeah. Zeke and Onika fight a lot, more physically than verbally, and it's usually for stupid reasons, like who rightfully had the bag of pretzels first.

Zeke has both a tail and horns (which are still growing).

He also has difficulty with keeping his body temperature warm, so he wears a lot of layers and a lot of black to keep in as much heat as possible.

He has Maori tattoos along the back of his left shoulder as well as part of the left arm, but rarely shows these to people.

Zeke has been teased by many to have a "baby face", which annoys him greatly.

He can be mostly found in his bedroom gaming, listening to music or curled up in a ball in bed.

He likes sleeping. A lot.

His favourite games to play are mainly action/shooter games (I'm not an expert in this department so feel free to decide which ones he likes playing) and occasionally likes to play RPGs.

His favourite artists are Green Day, Linkin Park and The Offspring.

BRITTANY

Brittany is also 19 years old and is best friends with Zeke.

Her pronouns are she/her and is an asexual lesbian.

She practically has no powers. She can float a little, but not much else.

Brittany is a very affectionate person and adores hugging, cuddling, complimenting and kissing people (non-romantically).

She also adores fizzy drinks and cats. She ADORES cats. And animals in general.

If she was to encounter a cat, whether that be an anthropomorphic one or not, she will give them double the amount of affection.

When Brittany's happy, she wags her tail about, shakes her hands and squeals. She does this quite often.

She can be extremely chatty and talkative and could go on for hours on end talking about almost anything.

However, Brittany is extremely clumsy and is prone to falling down the stairs, tripping, running into windows and/or getting her horns stuck in things.

Her hobbies are shopping, going to cafés and watching romcoms.

Her favourite movie is Love, Actually and her favourite artists are Ariana Grande and Twice.

Her original design was heavily based off of Verosika from Helluva, and I still can't let go of the long white hair + pink skin combo :') Fortunately, I think I've managed to differentiate Brittany from her, or I hope-

OKAY I AM NOW DONE I should be sleeping-

[solarishashernoseinabook]

last second trick or treat request for will and alyss?

Here ya go! Have a treat to make up for all the trouble sending asks earlier :D

~

Alyss had spent a long and illustrious career moving up the diplomatic ranks.

(Not that ranks technically existed, of course. Except for apprentices and the head of every fief's diplomatic corps, all couriers were equal. But Alyss was quite high in the ranks they didn't have.)

Her prestige meant she didn't really need to take on extended missions, or travel very much. Really, at her age, she could have used the down time. Her back ached whenever she was in the saddle for more than a few hours, and she needed to squint to read the small printing on treaties. The delicate, gold-rimmed spectacles Will had given her for their last anniversary helped, but nothing made up for the difficulty in making the trips in the first place.

But she still did, for one very important reason.

That reason was tucked away in her satchel now.

She had just arrived back at the cabin from the Solitary Plain. She she smiled at the curl of smoke coming from the chimney. It was always good to know Will was home.

Tug must have given him a sign, or maybe he had been looking out for her, because Will was stepping down from the veranda as she rode up. He helped her dismount from her horse with a broad smile on his face, and kissed her. 'Welcome home, darling.'

'Thirty years of marriage, and you always welcome me back as though it was our first time apart,' Alyss teased.

'I'll keep doing it, too.' Will grinned. 'It could be worse. I could be utterly insufferable and greet you with flowers and a song every time you come back from somewhere.'

'Ugh! No thank you.' Alyss laughed and rubbed at some knots in her back. 'Will, I'm sorry, do you mind drawing me a hot bath while I unsaddle Nelly?'

'Are you sure you don't want me taking care of her?' Will asked. 'You shouldn't be lifting a saddle if you're in pain, you'll just make yourself feel worse.'

'Well, I suppose I could go inside, and get the bath ready myself while you take care of Nelly,' Alyss said, in feigned concession. 'But I just know if I sit and wait for all those kettles of water to boil, my muscles would seize up, and then I wouldn't be able to get into the bath at all. And no,' Alyss held up her hand before Will could even open his mouth, 'you can't do both for me, because that wouldn't be fair.'

Will couldn't hide his grin. 'Y'know, most wives try to get out of the more physically demanding task.'

'If you'd wanted a wife like that, you should've married someone else.' Alyss pecked Will's cheek, then took Nelly into the stable. Despite how sore she had acted, she was well enough to unsaddle and rub down her horse, and give her some warm mash.

Will must have had two kettles boiling at once, because the tin bath was already half-filled by the time Alyss went in. He poured in two more kettles of hot water, then helped her undress and settle into the tub. Finally, he placed a stool next to her with a steaming mug of herbal tea that would help ease her aches and pains, and crouched next to the tub. 'Need anything else?'

'Can you get me my satchel, please?'

Will dutifully brought it over and Alyss flipped open the lid of it. She withdrew a sheaf of papers and handed them to Will with a smile. 'There.'

This was why she still went on missions, why she put up with the pain and travel dust and inconvenience. Alyss had spent their marriage collecting folk songs from every place she visited for Will to play on his mandola. At first there had been several new songs after each trip, and their cabin had been filled with music from all over Araluen and beyond, but as the years passed it had gotten harder and harder to find new songs for him. These songs from the Solitary Plain were the crown jewel of her music collection - the people who lived there were so notoriously mistrustful of strangers that it had been very hard to find any music at all during her visit.

Will's eyes lit up when he realised what she had and he looked at her in delight. 'You found some?'

'Did you think I wouldn't?' Alyss teased.

Instead of answering, Will caught her chin and pulled her into a deep kiss, blindly taking the papers from her hand and putting them to one side. Alyss slid her arm around him and returned the kiss, and for a long time they stayed that way.

But the kiss couldn't last forever. Alyss didn't mind, though, because when he let go of her Will retrieved his mandola, and Alyss picked up her tea. Will sat next to her and tuned the strings, then picked up the topmost paper and played a few notes. He smiled as he got the feel for the melody, then he began playing, and singing the words that accompanied it. Alyss leaned against the side of the tub and cradled her tea, smiling as the music swelled around them and feeling herself falling in love with her husband all over again.

They stayed like that long after her tea was finished and the water in the tub was cool, Will singing and playing softly, Alyss humming along or singing some of the words, both of them sure in their conviction that life couldn't possibly get better than this.

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

Even with our current climate of fake news, misinformation, disinformation, and election lies, we shouldn’t use  government power to try enforcing the truth.

By: Angel Eduardo

Published: Jun 29, 2023

Lies are a problem. 

In fact, one can persuasively argue that lies are the problem. 

Few behaviors are as corrosive to our social fabric or as foundational to our societal divisions. Lies severely hobble our ability to communicate effectively, our capacity to understand reality, and our attempts at securing social and moral progress. As a result, it’s understandable to conclude that using government power to prohibit and eliminate lies is justified.

The thing is, that’s a terrible idea.

While some exceptions exist, there are good reasons why our Constitution protects most forms of dishonesty, deception, and artful deviations from the truth. In this explainer I’ll go over these reasons and outline why, for all the difficulty and damage they certainly cause, most lies are and should remain protected speech.

What exactly is a lie, anyway?

Most of us can agree that lies are the opposite of truth, but opinions vary from that point forward. 

Must lies require a conscious attempt to deceive? If the speaker believes the falsehood, are they lying regardless? Can statements once thought to be true retroactively become lies once they’re discovered to be false?

Things get weirder when you start factoring in things like fiction, satire, or parody. Are those technically “lies”? What if something is mostly true, or mostly false? At what point does a statement cross the threshold into being an official lie?

Hopefully these questions illustrate the difficulty of knowing how and where to draw these lines. Now imagine trying to legislate all this. How can you legally tell the difference between lies and honest mistakes? How much does intention play into your definition, and how can you reasonably gauge it? Perhaps most importantly: How can you ensure that whatever laws you create to stamp out lies don’t get abused or stamp out important truths along with them? 

This last question has been central to why discussions about regulating lies with laws have been so difficult, and why they’ve almost always ended by erring on the side of letting false speech stay free.

But what about lies we know are lies? Shouldn’t the government legislate against those? The Supreme Court would wrestle with this very question in a landmark 2012 case, United States v. Alvarez.

The case of stolen valor

During a meeting of the Three Valley Water District Board in Claremont, California in 2007, Xavier Alvarez stepped up to introduce himself. “I’m a retired marine of 25 years,” he said. “Back in 1987, I was awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor.”

These were lies, and Alvarez was in the habit of telling them. In the past he had claimed he played hockey for the Detroit Red Wings and that he had once been married to a Mexican starlet. But by purporting to have received a military medal, Alvarez had taken his dishonesty into new and more serious territory: He had violated the Stolen Valor Act of 2005, which criminalized lying about having or receiving a military honor.

Alvarez was indicted and pleaded guilty to the charge, but appealed on the basis that the law itself was an unconstitutional, content-based restriction of his right to free speech. In other words, the statute restricted speech specifically based on what it is saying, in violation of the First Amendment. 

The Supreme Court agreed. “Absent from those few categories where the law allows content-based regulation of speech,” Justice Anthony Kennedy wrote for the majority, “is any general exception to the First Amendment for false statements.” Moreover, Justice Kennedy noted that “some false statements are inevitable if there is to be an open and vigorous expression of views in public and private conversation, expression the First Amendment seeks to guarantee.”

The Court’s analysis recognized two critical points: First, that bans on specific lies are content-based restrictions on speech. Second, that in order to preserve the freedom of expression the First Amendment defends, lies must be protected the same way as any other speech.

Lies and the First Amendment

The short answer to why lies are constitutionally protected is that, outside of a few narrow and formally recognized categories of unprotected speech, the First Amendment is neutral regarding the content of the speech it defends. This principle was expressed beautifully by Justice Thurgood Marshall in the 1972 Supreme Court case Police Department of Chicago v. Mosley, which questioned the constitutionality of a city ordinance banning non-union picketing outside of a school building. In the majority opinion, Marshall wrote, “the First Amendment means that government has no power to restrict expression because of its message, its ideas, its subject matter, or its content.”

This means that the First Amendment almost universally prohibits content-based regulation of speech. Because they target the substance of speech and are easily used to suppress disfavored ideas, content-based laws or regulations are presumed unconstitutional, and the government must meet a very heavy burden to justify them. That burden is strict scrutiny — the highest standard in First Amendment law, which requires the government to prove the regulation “furthers a compelling interest and is narrowly tailored to achieve that interest,” as outlined in Reed v. Town of Gilbert, Arizona, et al. Interests are “compelling,” the First Amendment Encyclopedia explains, when they are regarding “regulation vital to the protection of public health and safety, including the regulation of violent crime, the requirements of national security and military necessity, and respect for fundamental rights.”

The key here is that any regulations must not only advance a “compelling” interest, but must also not restrict our ability to speak freely (and dishonestly) beyond what is necessary to further that interest.

As noted above, not all expression is protected by the First Amendment: The Supreme Court has identified “historic and traditional” limitations on a few “well-defined and narrowly limited classes of speech.” These include incitement (Brandenburg v. Ohio), true threats (Virginia v. Black), and obscenity (Miller v. California).

In cases such as the United States v. Robert J. Stevens, however, the Court emphatically rejected as “startling and dangerous” the idea of a “free-floating test for First Amendment coverage” that requires speech to survive an ad hoc balancing of its costs and benefits. Rather, the “First Amendment itself reflects a judgment by the American people that the benefits of its restrictions on the Government outweigh the costs.”

Lies the First Amendment doesn’t protect — and why

When it comes to lies or dishonesty in particular, there are a few forms of it that fall under constitutionally unprotected speech, such as fraud, perjury, and defamation. Even in these cases, though, it’s not so much the lies themselves being acted against, but rather their specific and measurable consequences.

With respect to perjury, for example, false testimony in a criminal trial can lead to a wrongful conviction, affecting the life and liberty of an innocent defendant. Likewise, fraud in the form of false advertising, or other deliberate misrepresentations made for economic or personal gain, can be criminalized due to the clear material costs imposed upon those who fall prey to it.

Defamation, defined as “a false statement that harms the reputation of another,” is perhaps the most well-known of unprotected lies. It’s also very easy to understand the reasoning for it. A lot rides on reputations, and having ours smeared or destroyed can lead to real harm.

However, “harm” can also be incredibly subjective, and defamation can easily be used as a cudgel rather than a legitimate defense of one’s own honor. That’s why judges tread very carefully in defamation cases, and it’s why defamatory statements must meet a specific set of criteria to hold up in court. As Ronald K.L. Collins, David L. Hudson Jr., and FIRE Legal Director Will Creeley outline in “First Things First: A Modern Coursebook on Free Speech Fundamentals”:

A defamation plaintiff must establish all of the following six elements: 1. Identification: The publication was “of and concerning” the plaintiff. 2. Publication: The defamatory statements were disseminated to a third party. 3. Defamatory meaning: The statements in question were defamatory. 4. Falsity: The statements must be false. Truth is an absolute defense to a defamation claim. Generally, the plaintiff bears the burden of proof of establishing falsity. 5. Statement of fact: The statements in question must be objectively verifiable as false statements of fact. This means the statements were presented as true facts, but are demonstrably false. 6. Damage: The false and defamatory statements must cause actual injury or special damages.

Proving defamation can be really tough, and it gets even tougher if you’re a public figure, like a celebrity or a politician. As we covered in our explainer on the New York Times Co. v. Sullivan Supreme Court case, the limits on defamation law are meant to prevent the chilling effect caused by the use of legal action to silence criticism, satire, parody, or dissent. The bar is very high because courts are rightly afraid that general restrictions on speech, however false or unsavory, will violate not just the First Amendment but the principles of free expression that undergird it.

Other forms of unprotected lies include making false statements to government officials concerning official matters, falsely speaking on behalf of the government, and impersonating a government officer. But as with perjury, fraud, and defamation, the lies themselves aren’t the only reason for that being unprotected speech. All of these infractions focus on falsehoods that prevent or disrupt official government action — especially if it would end up infringing upon the rights of others.

Like any deviation from the presumption that speech is protected, these exceptions to the rule are limited, narrowly defined, and place the burden on the government to justify. First Amendment law recognizes that any attempt to suppress freedom of speech, no matter how well-intentioned, is a perilous endeavor. Carelessly allowing the government to regulate what can and cannot be said will cost us more than we bargained for. That is why each category of unprotected speech has been approached with a careful eye toward preserving free expression and avoiding government overreach — and the bar is set high for good reason.

Why lies should remain protected speech

The First Amendment generally protects speech from government punishment or censorship even if that speech is dishonest or false. But is that really the right thing to do? Given our current climate of fake news, misinformation, disinformation, and election lies, shouldn’t we use government power to set the record straight and establish the truth?

Not unless you think you or someone else can square all the lingering concerns about the risk of overbroad, overextended, or overapplied laws. As we covered in our explainer on misinformation, disinformation, and malinformation, allowing the government to define what constitutes these forms of speech is basically begging for it to abuse its power.

Just imagine the authority to determine and regulate lies in the hands of your worst enemies. Do you trust them to use it honorably? Why should they, then, trust you? The problem also goes beyond intentions. Even the most honest and well-meaning political actors can unwittingly succumb to bias, and the incentives to suppress inconvenient truths or ignore expedient lies are far too great to dismiss.

And as with most arguments relating to the restriction or regulation of free expression, the questions remain: Who decides? How do they decide? And who watches the watchmen?

In the majority opinion explaining why the Stolen Valor Act infringes upon free speech rights, Justice Kennedy stated the following:

The remedy for speech that is false is speech that is true. This is the ordinary course in a free society. The response to the unreasoned is the rational; to the uninformed, the enlightened; to the straight-out lie, the simple truth… The First Amendment itself ensures the right to respond to speech we do not like, and for good reason. Freedom of speech and thought flows not from the beneficence of the state but from the inalienable rights of the person. And suppression of speech by the government can make exposure of falsity more difficult, not less so. Society has the right and civic duty to engage in open, dynamic, rational discourse. These ends are not well served when the government seeks to orchestrate public discussion through content-based mandates.

While striking down the law, Justice Kennedy also reaffirmed the principles of free expression and open discourse that the First Amendment has always protected and represented. Yes, lies may be divisive, dangerous, and destructive to our relationships, our social order, and our polity — but the truth can’t be enforced through the authority of the state. It is the government’s job to keep our speech free. It’s our job to find and uphold the truth through the use of that speech. That’s a lot of work and responsibility, and it can often be messy, but the alternatives have far greater and graver costs.

Some argue that times have changed — that modern technology has fundamentally shifted our discourse to the point where drastic, even draconian interventions on lies and misinformation are required. But the critical questions of who to grant that power to and how to check it linger on, and it is unlikely that they can ever be truly or satisfactorily answered.

In the meantime, lies are the price we pay for the freedom to discover the truth for ourselves.

==

Among the best arguments against controlling perceived "misinformation" and lies are:

The need to be able to tell, with certainty, the difference between a lie and a mistake. Some percentage of people who believe in Flat Earth are undoubtedly lying, but many genuinely believe what they're saying. You can't punish people for simply being wrong.

Processes like science are never done. They must always consider the possibility: what if you're wrong? Or even just, what if you missed something, or what if you don't have the whole picture? The Church knew the "truth" and punished Galileo for "misinformation."

Perhaps more self-interested compellingly, never establish a policy or precedent that your enemies can use against you when they're in power. (And if your immediate instinct is, well, we'll just make sure they don't/can't get into power, you might want to consider the position in history of those who said the same thing.)

[thatneilj]

Game of the Year 2017

Originally Posted in January 2018

*2024* - I have been writing these game of the year posts since 2017 but for some reason the little intro didn't make it into my archive for this year. Oops!

Honorables

Mario Odyssey

This game is joyful, expansive, and rewards exploration. Unfortunately, I have found that after 400+ moons, I still find the controls to be a bit frustrating. On top of that, while the capturing mechanic is fun, I find I most of the time I would rather some solid Mario platforming. That said, Uproot is the best!

Sonic Mania

The first video game I ever owned was Sonic the Hedgehog 2. While my love for Sonic has never truly gone away, I have skipped the majority of Sonic titles over the last 15 or so years. Sonic Mania is zeroing in on the old stuff I grew up with. Sonic Mania invites me back to my hometown to party with friends i’ve not seen since the 90s, and makes it feel like none of us ever drifted apart.

Wolfenstein: The New Colossus

If you told me 5 years ago that Wolfenstein would be a franchise that rises above killing Nazis to tell a story with some of the most well-realized characters in modern media I would have laughed at you. But here we are. Machine Games gave BJ Blazkowicz a backstory that makes him feel believable despite the insanity that is his world. This game is amazing, except for the part where the level design and difficulty get in the way of seeing the story play out.

5. CUPHEAD

I got to this game a bit later than most. Sure I had seen the fantastic art bringing that 1930s cartoon style to life. I had heard the soundtrack full of big band scores and incredible jazz that broke onto the Billboard charts. I had even heard the developers at Studio MDHR talking about their inspirations, including Megaman X, one of my favorite games of all time. Not until I put my hands on the game did I realize just how perfect it all is together.

The controls are tight and responsive in a way that prevents deaths from feeling like bullshit, despite the difficulty. The music can be frantic, mirroring perfectly the insanity on the screen, which helps draw you in without becoming distracting. And those smooth visuals truly do bring each boss to life. Often weird and creepy life, but that is right in line with those old cartoons. Seriously, some of those old things are the stuff of nightmares.

4. HELLBLADE: SENNUA’S SACRIFICE

 Hellblade was quite hard for me to play. While that sounds negative right from the jump, that is part of why I liked it so much. It wasn’t a hard game, it was a hard experience. It was hard for me to listen to these disembodied voices telling me I’m not good enough as they danced around my head. It was hard for me to watch Sennua break down and cry with such raw emotion. The game is a technical marvel at realizing Melina Juergens’ performance.

(https://www.polygon.com/2017/9/15/16316014/hellblade-senuas-sacrifice-mental-illness)

While the game’s depiction of psychosis has come under fire for some legitimate concerns, its depiction of the symptoms is impressive. And watching the Making Of short included in the game was rather fascinating. I cannot think of any other big studio taking the time and doing the research to try and get this stuff right. Hellblade was hard for me to play because it was effective in making those symptoms feel real and tangible in a way I simply don’t have in my normal life.

3. HOLLOW KNIGHT

Here’s what I knew about Hollow Knight when I was going in: “It’s kind of like a Metroid game.” Now, I have loved a lot of action-exploration games, particularly when they make some bigger changes to the tried and true formula. Hollow Knight had me unsure at the start from the art style, the floaty jump, and the mapping system. But as I played more of the game, I found myself getting drawn in deeper and deeper. I realized it is a blend of two series I love; Metroid and Dark Souls.

Once I got the dash, movement started feeling good. Once I reached the City of Tears, the aesthetic had me catching my breath. Once I had all the maps… well, actually that damn map stuff is seriously annoying. I didn’t care anymore though, I was engrossed. The story of this bug-filled world is fascinating, and told at the edges for those who want to look. The action is can be punishing with big bosses, precision platforming, and combat that requires intention. This game had me yelling at some challenges, and yet I wanted more, even after the 35 hours I took to beat it.

2. A HAT IN TIME

3D platformers were back this year, back in a way I couldn’t even keep up with. First, we had Yooka-Laylee coming from a bunch of ex-Rare developers making a new Banjo. I missed this one, but heard mostly not-great things. At the end of the year we had Mario Odyssey, where the mission based worlds were done away with for free-form exploration and excitement. But right in the middle of those was A Hat in Time, a game that felt more like Mario 64 in structure, but with so much more.

I knew next to nothing about A Hat in Time when a friend gave it to me to check out. And I soon learned that Jon ‘JonTron’ Jafari had a cameo voice role in it. With that stink on the project I still found myself falling in love. From the very beginning you get a wonderful cartoon style that lends itself so well to the cuteness of Hat Girl. You go down to the first world and find personality dripping throughout the whole island of Mafia men. You meet mustache girl, become friends, and learn how crazy she is. And then, after all this, you get to go to a new world where two birds are competing to make you a movie star.

This game just made me happy the whole damn time I played it. And yet, it is full of choices that seem insane and shouldn’t work. Why not put a silly Metal Gear Solid stealth mechanic into this level? Why not give people an MSpaint mini-game just for fun? Why not pretend we’re a horror game for one mission? Apparently there is no reason not to do these things, if you do them right. Fact is, they did it all right while still giving us wonderful world design, fantastic platforming, genuinely funny writing, and the cutest character ever! If you dash and don’t jump out of it, Hat Girl will just lie on her belly and wiggle her feet in the air while she daydreams!

1. NIER: AUTOMATA

Nier: Automata is a very flawed game. The world you run through feels pulled out of a game from 2004 with all the invisible walls. The Platinum Games influence is clear in the combat, but in many ways feels stripped down and shallow in comparison to some of their past works. The most damning thing, though, is how long it takes to get through Route A. But if you push through all of this, if it gets its hooks in, it is a game that does something special.

Nier has, at its core, an ethos about the world. Not just through some story telling beats about the nature of androids. It goes so much farther. Where many sci-fi stories in more modern media look at how robots can be human, Nier ask what it is to even be human. Yet it does this in a story about androids who should be devoid of emotion. Entities with a task to fight a war that is never ending, on a world that refuses to forget people. A world that really doesn’t need people anymore anyway.

The game is thick with this pervading sense of despair. It isn’t just the crumbled buildings and rusted robots. It is every character you meet, each side story that seems to inevitably end in a place worse than before. It is in the loving couple that want to desert the war, it is in the thinking robots looking out over vistas, and it is in Father Servo who wants to be the best fighter. It is in the main story, when it takes you back through Route A from a different perspective. And it only becomes more intense in the later parts of the game.

This game is my game of the year because it is going to stick with me. Because I watched someone go against everything they stand for to save what they care about, only to lose it all from their own choices. Because I had to put down my controller for over 30 minutes, staring at my avatar idling in a dark and depressing room, trying to decide which choice I could live with. Because as each belief about the nature of the world was pulled away, showing me just how wrong I was, and how pointless trying to change it was. Their all robots right? They are programed for this.

This game is going to stick with me because, despite all of this and so much more, it managed to pull away the magic circle. It gave me an ending full of loss, full of satisfaction, and somehow full of hope.

[nezumithewriter]

""You're getting weaker, you're falling asleep"

A shallow hypnosis, repeat after me

Body and mind are both slipping so deep

So fight all you want, you'll eventually break

Swinging a coin, I can see in your eyes

Becoming so still, now you're finally mine--"

[PLEASE EXCUSE SOME TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES]

rambling under the cut

i've had mesmerizer stuck in my head for many minutes and had to draw this out when i had the chance

basically in this silly au(?) Christine is Teto and Jenna is Miku. The hypnosis in this case would be an allegory for the SQUIP's control

decided to have jenna and christine here instead of jeremy and michael because

A. I love these two so much you have no idea

and B. I think their characters fit the song pretty well, with Jenna being easy to hypnotize (easy to SQUIP) due to get longing to be a part of a group of some kind and belong, while Christine is resistant to hypnosis (the SQUIP) up until the end

does this make sense to anyone except me

[wizkiddx]

unusable faces

i have exams hence why i needed to write something exceptionally cringe :)

PSA: this is completely inspired from one of my fave writers own blurb @blissfulparker​ --> completely recommend u go read hers its much better than anything i could ever write!!!! (and just her whole account) = link

Summary: pure exhaustion and mutual pining, Tom Holland x actress!reader

^(just thought this was cute, doesn't really fit aha but full credit to op!!)

A scheduling nightmare would be putting it lightly. Perhaps almost unavoidable but that didn’t make it any less of a hellish form a torture. Harry had very helpfully said it actually was a form of torture, that is sleep deprivation. Y/n loved her job - it was all she’d ever really wanted - yet that thought was quickly becoming not enough to get her through the day. Not when it felt like an interrogation tactic used by the CIA. 

To give a quick timeline of the past few days may give a little context:

Thursday - filming the fight scene all day plus an evening-turned-half-the-night-shoot due to some technically difficulties delaying the process.

Friday - flying to New York while doing read throughs of scenes for the next few days; followed immediately by getting glammed and filming the tonight show with Fallon; then a dash across town to the late late show with James Corden; then straight back on a flight to Atlanta that landed at stupid o’clock in the morning

Saturday - a full day of shooting in a mock grand central station set

The press trip to NY had been unplanned… to say the least. But the star of their studios other new release had taken ill - meaning they had slots booked on some of the biggest talk shows in America that would just be abandoned (angering the shows bookers too). It was a waste of perfectly good promo time and since the studio had their two other stars together doing a block of reshoots - it wasn’t a conversation. Much more a call demanding the two of them to be on the plane.

Normally this wouldn’t be such an unmanageable ask either, except the reshoot block was really rather time pressured. You see, the promo tour wasn’t far from beginning meaning they really needed the final film in the can. So really it was a bit of a mess. Just to free up that single day the two were in New York the whole schedule had had to be rejigged - in doing so they’d lost a rare day off too. It was just typical.  

The joys of success hey?

Well, that’s at least what Y/n was making herself think whilst her incredibly talented SFX artist was in the process of crafting a deep wound onto her upper arm. The reason why she would be ‘dripping with blood’ whilst at a train station was beyond Y/n to be honest - she hadn’t been allowed to read a lot of the script so even now as filming was drawing to a close, the story arc of the movie she was headlining was still a little ‘fuzzy’.

“So I watched your ‘spill your guts’ thing on YouTube” Ellie giggled whilst reaching over for more prosthetic putty- a technical term apparently

“I’m glad one of us enjoyed the experience” Y/n replied with a sigh, rolling her eyes at the mischievous smirk on her face - no doubt Ellie took great joy out of seeing her suffer through eating a thousand year old egg. Which Y/n swore the taste of was still in her mouth… and it seemed as though it’d never leave. 

“Oh don’t worry darling I did too” Nelli called over from the next chair along, where she was doing Tom’s makeup for the day of shoots. “Between that and the animals on Fallon, you made a hell of a lot of people laugh last night” Tom’s artist was referencing the fact one of Jimmys other guests was a zookeeper, so at the end of the interview he had you and Tom join in trying not to scream at the snakes and spiders.

“You mean laugh at us?” 

“Well of course darling!” Nelli exclaimed back in an overdramatic bronx accent making all three of the women burst out laughing, Ellie’s unceremonious snorts echoing through the trailer only egged them all on more.

Tom in response, who had otherwise been absent from conversation for the majority of the morning, exclaimed a curse and jumped up in his chair. While you and Ellie collected yourself, Nelli apologised to him.

“Oh sorry love, I’m interrupting your snooze with my uncontrollable comedic gift” She spoke sweetly, even if still taking the moment to flaunt to the other women, as she squeezed his shoulder compassionately.

“No no” Tom waved off her apology, attempting to rub his eye before Nelli swatted his arm away - a stern look for the risk of ruining all her hard work she’d put into making his face look half presentable. 

“I’m impressed you can sleep while they poke you with all these er instruments” Y/n added in, having only just realised Tom had been in a light sleep for god knows how long they’d been in that chair. It did seem a bit unlikely, being able to fall asleep as you were dabbed, prodded and brushed. 

“Maybe you should try though Y/n… your purple eye bags are proving a struggle even for me” Ellie quipped back, now it was Y/n’s turn to give the stern look. Tom took the explain though, shutting her off from whatever kindly meant insult she was about to throw back at her friend. 

“No normally never, I just….” He was cut off by an ear splitting yawn, appearing almost powerful enough to crack his jaw - which would be a disaster, for no one should ruin such a beautiful and sharp jaw line. “…uh-sorry. I just think I ended up taking my NyQuil and DayQuil the wrong way round in the madness of yesterday.” Only Tom, the poor kid often seemed to lacking in any form of common sense - even if those closest to him knew just how intellectual and passionate he could be about the right topic. Affectionately, Nelli scalded his idiocy by jokingly swatting his head with a little tut.

“I can’t believe your still standing then! I’m barely alive and I don’t have any sedatives in my system.” It was true, Y/n was at that stage where every part of her body felt ridiculously heavy… eyes included … eyes especially. 

“But I did sleep on the jet back while your stupid self was studying the script!” Tom replied with a pretty inarguable point - at the time he knew her actions were stupid;  when their flight took off at 11 PM he was certain that the most valuable asset to his ability to act in the reshoots today would be sleep - rather than character development. And he’d tried to convince Y/n that briefly, but gave up. She was bloody stubborn when she wanted to be. 

“Stop competing about who has it worse cos I think it’s me and Nell”Ellie announced - making Nelli agree empathically with her coworker, nodding her head as she looked first to Y/n in her chair then back at Tom.

“Yeh because we have to deal with your unusable faces!!”

After much sarcasm thrown back and fourth, the trailer slowly ebbed it’s way back into serenity and peace as both artists focused on their work. Once Nelli was done she excused herself, Tom staying in the chair in favour of studying (more like staring blankly) at the dialogue for this mornings scenes. His pretence didn’t last long though and while Ellie was busy adding the final touches of fake blood to the now almost completely believable gash that she’d crafted on Y/n’s arm - Y/n had her attention focused the opposite way.

At poor little Tom. He looked so childlike, his slightly puffy eyes looked as if they had weights tied to them - they way he was having fight against gravity to flutter his eyes open, before loosing the next second only for the process to repeat as they dragged downwards. The broad muscles of his neck occasionally seemed to occasionally let up a little, letting his head tilt slowly at first until it gathered enough momentum to throw him off balance. The then sudden movement of his head unconsciously pulling itself back in line caused his eyes to bolt open prior to the whole cycle repeating again. All Y/n wanted to do was let him lay down someone, her heart feeling a tug in her chest just seeing him like that. 

Ellie proclaimed her completion of the wound, leaning back to admire her work before looking to get an affirming nod from Y/n. Yet instead, she was too preoccupied gazing at the boy slouched across from them. “Someone seems a little distracted.” Ellie smirked, finally garnering Y/n’s attention, only feeling more and more smug watching a light tint appear on the actors cheeks. 

“I-well-no… we need to go.” Y/n ignored her words as though nothing had happened, instead rushing off the chair to get Tom out the chair and onto the awaiting set. They had places to be.

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||| (bcos im lazy)

Honestly when the director, Ed, called for lunch break, it was pretty apparent to be purely as a compassionate gesture to Y/n and Tom. Both of them had tried so hard this morning to fully commit, even so they’d both been almost completely useless. Y/n kept missing cues whilst all Tom’s actions and lines where slow, dragged out and at times completely prompted from someone behind the cameras. 

So when the lunch break was called there was only one thing on Y/n’s mind and what sandwich was available in the mess tent was not it. Still standing on the set next to her fake holdall bag she looked toward Tom, who was pulling himself up to standing from the train station bench - the pace of his movement making him look more like an old man. 

“You good?” His answer was predictable. 

“I’m so fucking shattered”

Tom swore he’d never heard anything sweeter come out of Y/n’s pink lips than her next statement.

“C’mon I know somewhere we can lie down.”

Without any sort of thought Tom blindly agreed, nodding as he took her outstretched hand in his. The gesture in itself brought a fresh wave of comfort to his aching limbs and as his feet stumbled to catchup with her slight head start he leant the majority of his weight into their connected hands. 

Neither would admit it but they were ‘a thing’… whatever the hell that meant. It was clear as day to everyone and anyone that worked closely to the two but neither of them had ever broached the topic with each other. They’d worked on a few films together over the years; each time they got closer and closer to the point any job without the other simply wasn’t as good. It was scary though, especially for two actors in the prime of their careers. If they weren’t working the same film they’d likely be the opposite side of the world to each other most of the time - quality time together would be few and far between, Really their jobs didn’t suit dating at all, yet it would be perhaps easier if one half of it worked a ‘normal’ job. Something with consistency, a regular structure. A level of dependability that neither Y/n nor Tom could offer to the other. 

So it was terrifying, acknowledging the growth in their magnetic attraction to each other. Both were acutely aware that doing that, confronting their feelings, would most likely signal the beginning of the end. 

Although none of this stoped Y/n from returning the gesture, tilting her shoulder into Tom’s left side as they took slow steps through and then out the set building. She steered the two past the hair and makeup trailer and round into a store and extra equipment trailer. Tom tilted his head as she climbed the stairs whilst beckoning for him to follow - it didn’t seem like the most obvious choice. Rolling her eyes, Y/n explained.

“It’s where all the blankets and coats and kept for the raining scenes plusssss no one will disturb us in here.” Again Tom was not in a position to disagree, eyes drooping as his shoulders sagged to the floor. Right now he’d take anything. 

So he climbed up the stairs and shut the door behind him, just as Y/n flipped the light on. She was right, it was well equipped and with an almost mountainous supply of red blankets that normally the crew and extra would all be wrapped up in after the freezing rain scenes with all the ‘waterfall machines’ as Y/n called them. However it was also um…. It was cosy. “Oh I don’t think I realised how small it was” She chuckled lightly, since now the door was closed her back was pressed up against the far wall of cabinets and still her front was mere millimetres from Tom.

“I…I don’t mind… if-if you don’t?”

“I’m too tired to care” She giggled in response, and Tom , now with her seal of approval, immediately started ransacking the piled shelves for all their worth creating a floor carpeted in the pale red of the blankets, in an attempt to make it more cosy. Joining in, it was almost remarkable how quickly their bodies suddenly agreed to move, with the new promise of rest mere moments away. 

Once the trailer was fully drowned, Tom kicked off his costume shoes and threw his jacket off - it haphazardly landing by the doorway. Y/n copied him, leaving her stood up whilst he had the advantaged of already settling down on the floor, her standing and looking down at him.

The space between the two opposing shelving units was not close spacious enough for two people to lie down whilst keeping a respectable level of personal space. Suddenly feeling a wave of awkwardness, Y/n stayed standing, wringing her hands slightly - whilst fairly certain Tom could hear her heart running at 100 mph. 

“You er… gonna stay there or?” Tom, contrary to popular belief, wasn’t a complete idiot - he could see she was suddenly self conscious. He got it too - they’d never crossed this boundary of choosing to cuddle into each other. It had happened once of twice accidentally over there 2 years of knowing each other. Both of those times it was completely accidental, falling asleep watching a movie with a safe distance of space b between the two, only to find hours later their bodies almost completely intwined. Tom would be lying if he said that his heart didnt skip a beat when he had awoken to Y/n’s soft and gently breath fanning into his neck. He’d loved it, but understood that was unconsciously breaking down part of the wall they’d both been the constructors of.

For fear of getting hurt. 

So now, as Y/n awkwardly bent down and lay on her side, he thought it was imperative to make her feel comfortable. Naturally then, his arm slid round her shoulders and pulled her down toward his chest, releasing a little breath as he felt her relax, her legs slowly wrapping round one of his. 

“This okay?” He murmured, now into the crown of her head as she lay half on her side half on his chest. In reply she nodded into him and Tom couldn’t help but grin- unbeknownst to him but Y/n was doing the exact same thing. 

The peace lasted all of 3 seconds until she groaned again.

“What?” Tom enquired as she wriggled out his hold and stood up. Instead of replying though she just leant over and flicked the one harsh light bulb off making Tom chuckle as she fumbled her way back onto the padded floor in the darkness, earning a few grunts from both as she accidentally kicked Tom’s thighs or banged her head on one of the now empty shelves. Fumbling her way back into a comfortable position, occasionally cursing when she stubbed her toe- or Tom did when she accidentally elbowed him in the ribs. 

“Comfy?” Tom asked a little sarkily as he squeezed her a little more into his side.

“Mhmmmm… I’m gonna sleep for 100 years”

“Yeh me… me too”

And with that they both almost instantly and in complete unison sagged into each other and the blankets - the pent up stress and tension of the past few days ebbing away.

What the pair had neglected to remember was that sleeping for 100 years wasn’t really an option. The whole crew of 50 people, who wanted to restart filming after 45 minutes, had not been told about Y/n’s little hiding place. The pair were so completely safe in their own little cocoon of comfort they were completely oblivious to their teams calling there names more and more frantically. Completely oblivious to the game of hide and seek the situation had descended into, completely oblivious to Harrys natural annoyance as the director asked him for the whereabouts of the two stars - as though Harry was childminder to the pair of them.

It was Nelli who found them first. She’d and Ellie and Tom’s manager had all been recruited by Harry as part of the man hunt. Both girls, having seen first hand the state of the two this morning, were fairly certain they’d both crashed out somewhere. So Nelli, already with a sneaking suspicion, opened the door gently, her figure blocking the majority of the light from seeping through to the dimly lit inside. The sight she was met with had her actually pouting at the cuteness - and yes its a cringey word but also the only one appropriate.

Between bedding down and barely an hour later the two had managed to become impossibly tighter pressed to each other. Y/n’s face was pressed into the crook of Tom’s neck and his arms seemed to have pulled her on-top of him almost completely. Her left leg was hooked under his right, which was then sandwiched by his left too. They both looked so pure and innocent and god did Nelli know they both needed any extra time they could get.

Nelli cared a lot about Tom, she’d been working with him from the beginning, from the child star days to now. She cared about him like her very annoying surrogate son and she wanted to see him looked after. She also so completely wanted the two stars to stop pining after each other. Because frankly it was getting a little frustrating for everyone else. 

So she chose to tactically forget about her discovery, sneaking a photo on the sly before silently pulling the door closed and leaving them to their sleep. 

[arkadiaasks]

Why is it up to the readers to apply suspension of disbelief when the authors could simply make their works not require it? A bit of research here and there, maybe a bit of alterations to the story to focus on the more exciting side of believability and bravo! The readers won’t have to put away their disbelief in order to enjoy the story.

Because most authors don't want to be restrained by the frail, childish, dull placid limitations of reality, Anon that rigidly. Like Detective Stories are one thing, but a Shonen Jump Supernatural Horror Action Mystery Thriller like Yu-Gi-Oh!, reality is more of a vague guideline at best.

A fair number do the research, then throw it in a rubbish bin if it doesn't suit their purposes, or simply decide to amp the story up to more absurd levels (often times to legally protect themselves). Plus a lot of people LOVE larger than life stories, and want to shoot believability in the head. They don't come to media for that al the time.

And most people are normal healthy human beings who don't hype fixate on technical minutiae or economic models when reading or watching stuff because they understand the caveats.

Like for example, Kazuki was FAR well aware what he was writing about because he was a Magic: The Gathering player. Seto Kaiba was a lampoon, a parody of a guy, he knew who had deep pockets and a lot of rare overpowered, undercosted cards, who of what I know he was on good to decent terms with but was kind of a cheeky dick.

Magic & Wizards, Duelist Kingdom, Battle City, were drawing off of his life experience as a card gamer who played Magic: The Gathering, except he was turbocharging it and simplifying the game for a 20 page weekly comic.

And readers at the time who read Yu-Gi-Oh! in the 1990s would know exactly what he's writing about. This was the era of the overpriced first edition comic book market, of the heavily overpriced, impossible to get collectibles, of the Beanie Babies being able to get you a small fortune.

Kazuki was entirely writing something that while not 100% grounded, his geekier fans within the CCG market could point to things and go:

Like an entire house? 4 copies of a card in the world? Parody, but Kazuki was making a point of the difficulty at the time of getting The Power Nine, the over inflated market of collectibles, and the lengths to which collectors would go. He was speaking to a lived experience.

[bamf-jaskier]

Here and Queer: The Witcher

Hi, I’m Aaliyah, and this is Here and Queer, Canon Queerness in The Witcher books. 

I already started this series by talking about Ciri here. Her relationship required a fair amount of analysis because it began nonconsensually but continued for months after the fact and spanned three books so there was quite a bit to cover. 

However, while she is the main character there are other characters who are also queer in the books including Triss Merigold, Philippa Eilhart and Geralt himself!

Let’s jump right in by talking about our first queer character: Triss. 

She is explicitly confirmed as Queer in Blood of Elves during this internal monologue: 

As far as her erotic life was concerned, Triss Merigold had the right to consider herself a typical enchantress. It had began with the sour taste of forbidden fruit, made all the more exciting by the strict rules of the academy and the prohibitions of the mistress under whom she practised. Then came her independence, freedom and a crazy promiscuity which ended, as it usually does, in bitterness, disillusionment and resignation. 

Then followed a long period of loneliness and the discovery that if she wanted to release her tension and stress then someone who wanted to consider himself her lord and master – as soon as he had turned on his back and wiped the sweat from his brow – was entirely superfluous. 

There were far less troublesome ways of calming her nerves – ones with the additional advantages of not staining her towels with blood, not passing wind under the quilt and not demanding breakfast. That was followed by a short-lived and entertaining fascination with the same sex, which ended in the conclusion that soiling towels, passing wind and greediness were by no means exclusively male attributes.

Finally, like all but a few magicians, Triss moved to affairs with other wizards, which proved sporadic and frustrating in their cold, technical and almost ritual course.

Sounds here like Triss enjoyed her relationships with women but the forced heteronormativity of society caught up with her. This actually hits quite a bit for me as Triss states that her relationships with men seemed lacking after she had relationships with women. 

Of course, there is also this scene in The Tower of Swallows: 

The brilliant beam of light, broken by the diamond, flashed on the surface of the mirror. Yennefer stretched out both hands and began chanting a spell. The blindingly bright light reflected and concentrated into a fog. Soon, a picture began to emerge. The image of a room whose walls were covered with colorful tapestries.

A movement at the window. And a troubled voice. “Who? Who's there?”

“I'm here, Triss.”

“Yennefer! That you? Gods! How did… Where are you?”

“It does not matter where I am. Do not block the image, because the picture varies. And take away that candle, it’s blinding.”

“Right. Of course.”

Although it was late at night, Triss Merigold was wearing neither lingerie nor her work clothes. She wore a dress for going out. As usual, high-collared and closed.

“Can we talk freely?”

“Of course.”

“You're alone?”

“Yes.”

“You're lying.”

“Yennefer…”

“You are deceiving me, brat. I know your face; I know you too well. It’s the same look you had when you started sleeping with Geralt behind my back. Back then, you put on the same sheepish, innocent mask that I see on your face now. And it means the same thing now that it meant back then!”

Triss was red. Philippa Eilhart appeared in the window next to her, dressed in a dark blue men’s jerkin. “Bravo,” she said. “As usual, quick. As usual, perceptive. As usual, hard to grasp and understand. I am glad to see you in health, Yennefer. I am happy that your crazy teleportation from Montecalvo did not end in tragedy.”

Gonna be very honest here, as someone who has had to hide their girlfriend when a friend or parents walks into your room, that is exactly how I read this scene. Yennefer saying Triss has the look on her face of someone who just got laid? Philippa coming out of hiding and calling Yennefer perceptive? The fact that when Yennefer first called Triss didn’t let her see what was going on and then appeared fully dressed after blocking the image? I don’t know about anyone else, but I read this as Yennefer catching Triss and Philippa together romantically. 

However, even if you don’t buy this scene as explicitly showing a relationship between the two of them, Triss is still queer as well as Philippa. 

From Time of Contempt:

“So it is!’ said Marti Södergren, leaning over and wrinkling her nose, after which she picked up a goblet and looked at the traces of crimson lipstick on it. ‘Ah, Philippa Eilhart. I should have known. Who else would have dared to do something so brazen? That revolting snake. Did you know she spies for Vizimir of Redania?’

‘And is a nymphomaniac?’ risked the Witcher. Marti and Keira snorted in unison.

‘Is that what you were counting on, fawning over her and flirting with her?’ asked the seductress. ‘If so, you ought to know someone’s played a mean trick on you. Philippa lost her taste for men some time ago.”

Another Philippa scene from The Tower of Swallows:

Philippa Eilhart was in a short nightgown with thin straps, and her face and neck had traces of lipstick. Assire, with a great effort of will, contained an expression of displeasure. Never, ever, will I understand this. And I do not want to understand.

“Can we speak freely?”

Philippa’s hand made a sweeping gesture. And she surrounded herself with a magic sphere of discretion.”

Answering a telecomm with lipstick all over ur neck is such a queer power move and honestly Philippa might be manipulative but damn the energy she exudes. 

As well as Philippa and Triss, there is the infamous bath scene with Geralt and Borch from Sword of Destiny: 

“Let’s make merry!’ Three Jackdaws leant across the table and slapped Téa on the backside. ‘Let’s make merry, Witcher. Hey, landlord! Over here!’

The innkeeper scuttled briskly over, wiping his hands on his apron.

‘Could you lay your hands on a tub? The kind you launder clothes in, sturdy and large?’

‘How large, sir?’

‘For four people.’

‘For… four…’ the innkeeper opened his mouth.

‘For four,’ Three Jackdaws confirmed, drawing a full purse from his pocket. ‘I could.’ The innkeeper licked his lips.

‘Splendid,’ Borch laughed. ‘Have it carried upstairs to my room and filled with hot water. With all speed, comrade. And have beer brought there too. Three pitchers.’

The Zerrikanians giggled and winked at the same time.

‘Which one do you prefer?’ Three Jackdaws asked. ‘Eh? Geralt?’

The Witcher scratched the back of his head.

‘I know it’s difficult to choose,’ said Three Jackdaws, understandingly. ‘I occasionally have difficulty myself. Never mind, we’ll give it some thought in the tub. Hey, girls. Help me up the stairs!”

Now, there’s a lot of people who read this scene and say: hey now, Geralt didn’t actually sleep with Borch. They just slept with two women. Together. In a bath. Now, I don’t know about any of you, but when four people are naked in a bath together all having sex it’s not a situation where you can say no-homo bro and call it a day. 

Also, you know, there is this line later on in Sword of Destiny: 

“Véa, already mounted beside Téa, waved.

‘Véa,’ the Witcher said, ‘you were right.’

‘Hm?’

‘He is the most beautiful.”

Of course, this is in reference to Borch’s dragon form but considering the last person to call Borch beautiful was Véa who slept with him...well. Geralt is at the very least open for a variety of sexual situations. 

Finally, there is Sorel Degerlund in Season of Storms who says this about Ortolan, the elderly mage of the town: 

“As you’ve doubtless observed,” continued Degerlund, “I have exceptional looks and women have been known to call me an ephebe. I’m fond of women, indeed, but in principle I didn’t and don’t have anything against homosexuality. Under one condition: if it is to be, it must help me to advance my career.

My physical intimacy with Ortolan didn’t demand excessive sacrifices. The old man had long passed both the age limit for capability and desire. But I did my best for people to think otherwise and believe he’d utterly fallen for me.

Believe there was nothing he would refuse his gorgeous lover. Believe that I knew his codes, that I had access to his secret books and notes. That he was giving me artefacts and talismans he hadn’t previously revealed to anyone. And that he was teaching me forbidden spells. 

Including goetia. And if previously the great men and women of Rissberg had disdained me, now they suddenly began to esteem me. I had grown in their eyes. They believed I was doing what they themselves dreamed of. And that I was achieving success.”

So this is a very minor character who only appears in one adventure but he is queer. Well, to clarify he is queer for...career advancement? Honestly I have no idea if asaps is trying to make a statement here or if he was writing this and thought to himself: what if the mage was queer but only in order to advance his career? Sounds fun, let’s do it. 

So overall, there are queer characters in The Witcher, from Ciri to Triss to Geralt to Philippa to guy who is gay to advance his career in Season of Storms. There are likely other minor characters I might have missed, so feel free to add them!

I hope to see these characters as queer in the show and it’s really nice to have this type of representation in fantasy, especially a series such as The Witcher. And yes, there are a number of problematic tropes and issues this writing can stumble into but it is still nice to see a variety of sexualities, especially in the main characters such as Ciri and Geralt.  

[winterhawkwonderland]

2020 Exchange Round up!

It’s here!!! An easy to find complete list of works from our 2020 Winterhawk Wonderland Exchange event. It is listed by title of work and author or artist, and includes rating, summary, and word count (if applicable). Our event excluded any of the AO3 Big Four warnings, but please do check tags and warnings on each work before diving in, just in case you find something there that squicks or triggers you!

Once again, thank you all so much for participating and making this a great event! Love the Winterhawk fandom!

If you do not see your work listed, please contact the Mods and we will update the post - all works were pulled from the AO3 Collection, but it’s possible we overlooked something or made a mistake! Additionally - Tumblr (in true Tumblr fashion) would not let us tag some creators - their names are on the list but the hyperlink doesn’t work. We apologize for the technical difficulty, but have no way of fixing broken Tumblr links. Please know that no offense was intended. 

The 300 Club by @fosterthefuture for @gwhell. Rated T, 10,109 words “Me here?” Bucky asks, a little hysterically. “What do you expect me to do, be the one to haul your frozen body in from the snow bank you inevitably fall into and die in?”Clint chuckles, as though what Bucky’s asked is completely illogical, which it decidedly is not. “Nah, you can suit up if you want to come along to make sure I stay on track, but I’ll make it back just fine. I really just need you to be here to make sure the door stays open, help me get my boots off and into those blankets when I get back.”“Clint,” Bucky asks, eyes now closed. “Please tell me you wouldn’t do this if you were completely alone.”The silence that emanates from the sauna is telling.“Well,” Clint finally says, “I’m trying to not get into the habit of lying to you, Barnes.”

40k misunderstandings by @verdantbogmoth for @flawsinthevoodoo. Not Rated, 3,280 words. “Are they real?” Bucky gasps. “Who keeps bags of real rose petals just lying on hand?”“Tony, for special random events and for us to steal to have fun with,” Clint supplies helpfully. “Where do they go?”“Everywhere,” Bucky decides. “The couch, the table, the fucking tv stand.” Clint pops the bag and they spend several minutes turning Bucky’s living area into a very perfumed, petal draped nightmare. “Oh, my god.” Bucky says gleefully. “It looks like a porno,” Clint claps. “A serial killer porno!” Bucky amends. “This is fantastic. Why aren’t rose petals everywhere, always. Why don’t more people just throw them around for any old event?”

[ART] Christmas fluff by @elynehil for @chekov-in-a-dress. Rated G. Winterhawk Wonderland gift :)

[ART] Cooking By The Book by @not-the-blue for @thegrowingwordsmith. Rated G.  Clint attempts a holiday recipe from Bucky's childhood. He... might need a second attempt.

[art] i (heart) hawkeye by @gwhells for @lantaniel. Rated G. Art for lantaniel for the Winterhawk wonderland gift exchange!

[ART] i still feel this way when light catches your face by @quicksillver for @sevdrag. Rated G. Winterhawk Wonderland gift! :)

An Affinity for Elf Culture by @bella-dahlia for @trekchik. Rated T. 8,501 words. When Bucky Barnes was told he would be doing press and community outreach as part of his prosthetic program, no one mentioned to him it would involve dressing up like an Elf from the North Pole.The hella cute blonde elf in head to toe purple hadn't been brought up either.Hiding in his hoodie wasn't going to be an option, was it?

All I Want for the Holidays Is You by @merelypassingtime for @flowerparrish. Rated G. 7,205 words. Clint obligingly took the last name in the hat. Unfolding it he read the name, Bucky. Crap. What was he supposed to do with that? When Clint draws Bucky’s name for the Avengers holiday gift exchange, he struggles to find the perfect gift.

as long as it’s with you by @theproblemwithstardust for @theonlyceeceej. Rated T. 2,651 words. Clint didn’t know when the thing between him and Bucky became an actual thing. At some point the banter had evolved from a fun and engaging way to pass the time into a weirdly competitive game of flirting chicken.

A bad day turned good by @gabrielsammysangel for @misterknife. Rated G. 1,115 words.  Clint Barton was having a bad day, one kiss to take it all away. Aka how a full bad day can be wipped away when you have a good boyfriend.

Bandages and Soot by @fanbinbun for @hawkguyandthewinterdude. Rated T. 2,358 words. “Oh, you’re new. Hi! I’m Clint. I come here often.” “I have been warned.” Bucky said with amusement curling his lips. “Got a name, or should I just give in and start calling you ‘hot nurse’?”

Because of Coffee and a Chocolate Doughnut. by @jazzrose343 for @loonyloopylisa. Rated M. 5,257 words. Bucky is an Actor. Clint is stunt actor and coordinator. Shenanigans Happen

Better Than Fine by @vexbatch for @theproblemwithstardust. Rated T. 4,439 words. Clint promised Kate he'd bring a plus one to her engagement party, but now he needs to find one. Maybe Bucky will do him a favor? Maybe Clint's crush on Bucky won't be a problem for said favor?

[ART] The Cat doesn't agree by @misterknife for @Inktastic1711. Rated G.  5 words. Clint was determined to get the best family photo this year. Except now he's pretty sure that fighting alien hoards or doombot armies might actually be easier than wrangling a cat into a sweater.Bucky says that Alpine's sorry.Clint thinks she might kill him in his sleep.

cause it's just what you must do by @sevdrag for yamyamyam. Rated T. 3,399 words. Clint ducks away at Tony's holiday party for a breather. Little does he know this closet is occupied.

Christmas With the Barnes's by @jstabe for @claraxbarton. Rated T. 3,163 words. He knows Clint is nervous. If he’s honest, he is a little too. He and Clint have been dating just shy of two years but with their hectic work schedules, it’s rare for them to have full days off together so Clint isn’t used to large family gatherings.

The Common Room by @trekchik for @nana-evans. Rated E. 1094 words. No one knows they're together. Right?

Communication is key by @averyrogers83writes for @harishe-art. Rated G. 3,434 words. Bucky screws up and pisses Clint off possibly ruining any chance of having more than a working relationship with the archer.

[ART] Cookies For Two by madnerding for @hopelessly-me. Rated G. 29 words.  My prompt was for cookie decorating and I hope I delivered. Enjoy!

Coping Mechanisms by @mariana-oconnor for @feathers-and-cigarettes. Rated E. 4,321 words. After the events of Freefall, Clint Barton is exhausted, bruised and on everyone's Most Wanted list. Luckily, or unluckily, it's Bucky Barnes who ends up finding him.

Cover Me by @downwarddnaspiral for @feedmecookiesnow. Rated M. 8,618 words. Clint and Bucky end up off the grid and in close quarters. Featuring the world’s crappiest safehouse, a semi-retired spy, and an assassin with strong opinions about the cold.

Delicate, hand wash only by @mollynoble for @pherryt. Rated E. 6,074 words.  “Hey, Buck, what do you need?” Clint moved closer, he wanted to reach out but he resisted the urge, that could be a bad idea right now. “What can I do to help?” He pitched his voice low and soothing. There was a pause, then Bucky's eyes focused on him. “Right now all I want is a bath and then sleep.”

Draw Me Like One of Your Frenchmen by @alchemistdoctor for @thwip. Rated M. 1,410 words. This is written for andthwip in the winterhawk wonderland exchange, who requested sexting during inappropriate times, date night ends in trying a new kink, or getting off in the field. I managed the first two!

Fate or Natasha by bear_shark for @kidd-you-not. Rated G. 1,663 words.  How it ended: Bucky watched the rise and fall of Clint’s chest while he slept. Every few minutes, he would snuffle and rub his face against Bucky’s chest. Bucky’s phone pinged, and he carefully checked his texts. Natasha: How did your date with Clint go? Bucky sat up quickly, jostling Clint. “What the hell?” 

The Fight Before Christmas by @theonlyceeceej for @jstabe. Rated E. 4,040 words. Now, don’t let it be said that Bucky couldn’t take a joke. He could. Really. But sometimes it was just too much. Clint was just too much. Clint is the epitome of a schoolboy with a crush; Pulling pigtails, calling names, the lot! Ok, maybe it was more than a crush, judging by the many thoughts about being thrown around by the Winter Soldier. He just needed to get his attention... But will it work?

For This by @endof-theline for @elynehil. Rated G. 5,652 words. Bucky and Clint are moving in together and it's not just the boys we have to worry about, because Lucky and Alpine are moving too!

Getaway Car by @feedmecookiesnow for @genderfluid-and-confuzled. Rated G. 4,405 words. The guy regains his balance and starts running again. He slips one more time, slides a little more, and then suddenly he’s right next to the car, fumbling at the handle of the passenger side door. A blast of cold wind comes as he yanks it open, practically falling into the seat in a swirl of snowflakes. “Go, go!” he yells, and Clint goes. He doesn’t even question it, just slams the car into drive and shoots out into the street, skidding a little on the ice.

Guardian Angel by @chrissihr for @spacetimeconundrum. Rated T. 3,469 words. Clint attracts strays like moths to flame. All he wanted to do was bring home a puppy he found in a box marked ‘free’ in crayon. It was just sitting out in the rain under the awning in front of his neighborhood pizza place.He couldn't just leave it there ... right?

Hit Me With Your Best Shots by @thegrowingwordsmith for @fosterthefuture. Rated G. 2,185 words. As a barista, Bucky has witnessed a lot of crazy customers and their creations. He has made drinks with so much syrup that there was barely room for coffee, and gotten orders with so many modifications that it had to print on multiple stickers. None, however, even came close to the strangeness of Too Much Caffeine guy.

[ART] How do you like them apples? by @lantaniel for @vexbatch. Rated G.  Because Clint is incapable of 1.doing a calm activity, and 2.not climbing a tree.

Howl by @drgrlfriend for @mariana-oconnor. Rated T. 9,729 words. Excerpt: Bucky gets that uncomfortable feeling again, like he missed something. Lost time maybe. It’s been happening less and less, but it still happens. “I don’t know what you mean.” The man runs a broad hand up the back of his neck, mouth pulling to the side as he seems to consider his words. “Skin feels too tight sometimes? Feels like you gotta keep moving, but no place feels right? Got an ache deep in your bones that you just can’t seem to get rid of?” “What —” Bucky swallows, the rest of the sentence jagged in his throat. He knows there are Avengers who are witches, or telepaths, or whatever, but he’d never heard of Hawkeye being one of them. “How are you — are you in my head? —”

[ART] I got you by @vexedbeverage for @gabrielsammysangel. Rated T. 100 words. I decided I wanted to do some art but then my writing brain told me I couldn't stop there. I've never done a drabble before so I thought I'd give it a try!

I Love How Your Soul is A Mix of Chaos and Art by @flawsinthevoodoo for @merelypassingtime. Rated T. 5,745 words. This is basically a 5+1 where Clint "Borrows" a great many hoodies as a coping mechanism and Bucky decides Clint needs to be a part of his life, not just his laundry.

if these wings could fly by @flowerparrish for @hawksonfire. Rated M. 4,018 words. He waits a few moments, pretty sure he’s going to have to start knocking again, when the door swings open. There’s Bucky, shirtless, disheveled, wings spread out behind him like some kind of tragic painting of an angel. Not that Clint knows much about art, but with the dark colors and dim lights he thinks this could totally have been something one of those old dudes dreamed up.

It Must be Winter in my Heart by @harishe-art for @jazzrose343. Rated G. 3,055 words. It's the holiday season and for some reason Clint and Bucky keep getting mistaken as a couple. They hadn't even planned to meet up most of them time. Why does this keep happening to them?

It was Only a Winter's Tale by @harishe-art for @averyrogers83. Rated G. 1,628 words.  Clint and Bucky prepare to celebrate their first winter holiday together when Bucky has a realization during an argument.

it was peace by @loonyloopylisa for @drgrlfriend. Rated G. 1,932 words. “Um, hi, I’m Bucky?” he said, hating himself for the way it came out like a question. “Hi Bucky,” the man answered, a wide smile on his tan face, “I’m Clint. What can I do for you?” Inwardly thankful for this therapist for making him practice he said, “I was wondering if you had any volunteer opportunities?” Clint gave him a considering look, bright blue eyes narrowed thoughtfully. Bucky was sure he was assessing him and finding him lacking, taking in the missing arm and coming up with a reason Bucky wouldn’t fit in. He was bracing himself for the rejection when Clint said, “sure.”

A Kind of Magic by @sian1359 for bear_shark. Rated G. 7.034 words. Bucky has some help adapting from being Hydra's Winter Soldier to becoming the Avenger's Winter Soldier

Lilac you a lot by @hawkguyandthewinterdude for @harishe-art. Rated T. 6,490 words.  It starts with one purple sock and just escalates from there.

Lost Time by @lissadiane for @vexedbeverage. Rated T. 10,029 words. Clint’s always known the universe doesn’t like him all that much. But all he knows now, as his heart beats out a rhythm and there isn’t a heartbeat to harmonize with it, is that he’s found his soulmate -- and he’s been dead for over 70 years. It’s ironic. It burns. It shouldn’t surprise him. Barney won’t be surprised. Barney’s been saying the universe has it out for them for Clint’s whole life. And this is just further proof. In which soulmates exist but Clint's parents are proof that sometimes, they go terribly wrong.

The Maybe To Your Story by @kangofu-cb for @mollynoble. Rated E. 5,162 words. Bucky walked out of the shared bathroom whistling under his breath, happily ignoring Steve’s groan as he whipped off the towel around his waist to half-assedly swipe at the water droplets on his shoulders. “Oh, you’re still here?” he asked blithely, toweling at his hair. “Might want to shake a leg before you get an eyeful of something you want to see even less than my dick.” “I’m going, I’m going,” Steve grumbled. “Fuck. Can’t believe I’m getting sexiled for the third time this week. For Barton.” Or, instead of talking about their feelings, Clint and Bucky decide to fuck about it.

my hands no longer an afterthought by @shatteredhourglass for @quicksillver. Rated T. 2,922 words. Bucky's moving on with his life. Shaking off the Soldier. There's still that one nagging, blond idiot-shaped regret, though.

Nowhere to go but with you by Lacerta for @sian1359. Rated G. 5,905 words. Clint fights the urge to cross his arms, keeping them hanging loosely by his sides instead, and forces himself to relax his shoulders. It’s just a small precaution in case he needs to react fast but, god, he hopes it doesn’t come to that. He doubts any precaution that doesn’t include a loaded weapon would help him last more than a minute. He watches the man sitting across the kitchen table from him, curled in on himself under Clint’s warmest blanket with his hands wrapped around a steaming cup of coffee, and tries to wrap his head around the very unusual, very alarming situation he has gotten himself into.

On The Fifth Day of Christmas, The Winter Soldier Stole For Me..... by @ch3ls3ara3 for @alchemistdoctor. Rated T. 8,178 words.  “Are these pears? Why the hell is there a pear tree in my apartment?” he asked Lucky who was now sitting patiently, staring up at the bird with his tongue hanging out and tail wagging. “What is happening?” Clint Barton knew he was a disaster, it never really shocked him anymore when he ended up in strange situations. These twelve days leading up to Christmas, though? Those days he would have never seen coming.

the one where Clint hates christmas horror by @thwip for @bella-dahlia. Rated M. 2,898 words. “We take turns, Clint. This week is Nat’s turn, next week is yours,” Tony quips, sipping from his own mug. “We can watch The Holiday, for the third year in a row, then.” Clint opens his mouth and starts to protest Tony’s eye roll because The Holiday is a cinematic masterpiece and Kate Winslet may give her best performance yet, Tony! Not to mention Cameron Diaz! Singing Mr Brightside! It’s a great film, when the front door opens and Bucky and Steve walk in, laughing about something. Clint's mouth snaps shut and his eyes immediately flicking towards Bucky, admiring the way the navy fabric of his henley clings to the thick biceps that are almost bursting out of it.

Operation Snowbound by RedTeamShark for @heartonfirewrites. Rated G. 4,048 words. The mission is a simple job: tag a convoy as it drives through the pass and then skedaddle back down the mountain. Easy enough that Clint could do it in his sleep. And he doesn’t even have to pull the trigger, that’s what Bucky’s there for. Until an unexpected weather event leaves the two of them stranded on a mountainside in a blizzard, battling the cold, Clint’s taste in coffee, and Bucky’s idea of idle conversation.

Outside the World by @pherryt for @verdantbogmoth. Rated G. 4,767 words. Bucky doesn't really remember who he is, and what little he does remember is impossible. All his therapists have said so. There's no way he can be who he thinks he is - a character from a children's book.And yet, the world around him just doesn't *feel* right - its too dark, too colorless and doesn't match the vibrancy of his dreams. Dreams he tries to capture both on paper and on his walls.Bucky doesn't have any answers he can count on, just the hat he's kept all these years, but that guy that started following him - as vibrant and eye-catching as the pieces of Bucky's dreams -Well, he just might.

The Prince's "Delivery Boy" by allyouneedissleep for @endof-theline. Rated T. 4,917 words. He wouldn’t have any issues at all with the secrecy rules stating that only people in confirmed legal marriages could tell their significant other about their job if he was planning to marry anyone except the Prince who was first in line to take over as King of Brooklyn after his marriage went through. Clint was about to effectively become Queen of Brooklyn and he couldn’t even tell his fiance what he did for a living. As far as Bucky knew, he was a delivery boy. A DELIVERY BOY.

[ART] Snow Way Out! by @inktastic1711 for @fanbinbun. Rated G. 24 words. Prompt: While on a mission, Clint and Bucky end up on an impromptu sledding trip down the snowy hill/mountain to escape the bad guys. Bonus points if the sled isn't actually a sled.

Snowed In by @chekov-in-a-dress for @ch3ls3ara3. Rated T. 4,332 words.  Secret Santa Story for CarafeOfColdBrew! Dad Bucky and his daughter Nat are on their way to Bentonsport where Bucky is supposed to check out a possible site to build a resort when they get overwhelmed by a snowstorm. How lucky that they get pointed to a bed and breakfast owned by a certain handsome dork.

So much to say (I just can't speak) by @hopelessly-me for Allyouneedissleep. Rated T. 3,260 words. Bucky has never considered himself the jealous type. But when Steve and Clint start hanging out more and more, Bucky starts pulling back to protect his own feelings.

Some Luck by @claraxbarton for @not-the-blue. Rated T. 3,558 words. “Cowboys?” he asked. Judith smiled at him. “I love to give my darlings what they want.”

a storm is comin' in by @heartonfirewrites for @chrissihr. Rated T. 9,686 words. Sasquatches don’t exist. Clint is sure of it. So what’s that fuckin' bigass yeti doing outside Tony’s upstate cabin in the middle of a nor’easter, looming ominously and ruining Clint’s plans for a quiet Christmas alone with Lucky?

Time and Time Again by @pherryt for @shatteredhourglass. Rated E. 6,497 words. The past has a way of catching up to people and Clint knows that better than most. Despite that ingrained life lesson, he still doesn't expect it when a part of Steve's past turns out to also be part of Clint’s. He's... not sure where to go from here.

too cold to feel (but i know you're there) by @hawksonfire for @trashcanakin. Rated T. 1,983 words.  Clint’s been cold his whole life. He doesn’t mind, really, has learned to always keep a pair of gloves on him, even in the summer. He gets weird looks for it, but he stopped caring what people thought of him a long time ago. His apartment has always got spare blankets laying around, and his dresser is jam packed with thick pairs of socks.

[ART] A Walk in the Woods by @spacetimeconundrum for @downwarddnaspiral. Rated T.  One finds the strangest things in the woods...

What's a Guy Like You Doing in a Place Like This by @sevdrag for @kangofu-cb​. Rated T. 8,091 words. A 5+1 fic for Winterhawk Wonderland: Five Times It Wasn't A Date, and One Time It Actually Was.

Word Search by yamyamyam for RedTeamShark. Rated T. 3,858 words. Bucky doesn't understand why he should have to see a doctor about a measly little bullet wound. Steve doesn't understand why that would be optional, Jesus Christ, Buck, we can have nice things now. Clint doesn't understand why he can't visit Bucky in the super-secure lockdown ward. The NYFD doesn't understand why Clint can't get out of a baby swing without the jaws of life. Natasha doesn't understand why she puts up with any of these idiots.

[ART] You Come Here Often? by @trashcanakin​ for Madnerding. Rated G.  winterHawk in the vents.

You had me at Loathing by @kidd-you-not​ for Lacerta. Rated T. 5,715 words. "What?" he asks absolutely no one, completely baffled. Movement to his left catches his eye and he twists around, still hanging from the balcony railing by his legs, and gapes. There, right there on the adjourning apartment building, is a man. A man clad all in black, with chestnut brown hair falling to his chin and a mask covering the lower part of his face. Holding a sniper rifle in his right hand and giving Clint a mocking little salute with the left. "Motherfucker!" Clint screams. Hawkeye and the Winter Soldier work for competing companies. Unfortunately for everyone involved, they cross paths on more jobs than either of their handlers can endure.

Honorable Mention:

The Opposite of Love by @teeelsie-posts for @loonyloopylisa. Rated E. 10,000 words. You know that social media post where the guy says he’s a felon and he’ll come terrorize your family for Thanksgiving in exchange for a free meal? Yeah, that’s what this is. Except that Clint is Clint, and Bucky is Bucky, and they’re both Avengers, but Clint’s family is a bunch of assholes and Bucky decides to help him out with that. Oh, and it’s Christmas, not Thanksgiving. Mod Note: This fic was begun for last year’s exchange then discarded for another idea, but Teeelsie finished it unexpectedly and asked permission to include it in this year’s collection and we were happy to allow that. Please enjoy!

[hibisha]

Hello, a friend of yours said you might be able to recommend some radiodust fanfics, and it can be anything im not picky

RadioDust fanfics you say? Alright *cracks knuckles* here we go.

1.) The Charismatic Cannibal’s Guide to Self Care

Rating: E

Summary: Alastor chuckled around a hand. Angel would never get over how shark-like he could look. Fangs were the norm here, but Alastor’s had a certain animal quality that fit strangely in a humanoid face. Too big and too many. And right now they were tinged with a hint of red from his choice of drink.

“So what,” he said, “would liven up the place for you, sport?”

You might assume that Angel Dust is the bad influence in every situation. You would be wrong.

The Radio Demon has plans for Hell, and plans for Angel. And they aren't pretty.

Will contain gore/cannibalism/murder and plenty of fun, bad people. Please read the tags and content warning. Plot now, smut to follow.

Personal thoughts: It only one chapter so far but I really like the premise.

2.) Their Arrangement

Rating: E

Summary: Alastor and Angel Dust have come to an agreement after Angel pushes the Radio Demon's buttons a little too far and inadvertently awakens the long forgotten urges buried under decades of bloodlust.

Personal thoughts: One of my literal favorites. Alastor and Angel’s evolving relationship from sex friends to ‘oh shit I have feelings’ *chef’s kiss*.

3.) Absolute Territory

Rating: E

Summary: Angel Dust is an absolute terror for Absolute Territory.

Alastor never knew he had a thing for stockings until Angel decides to flaunt a pair, matched with a pleated skirt and an oversized sweatshirt.

Personal thoughts: Have some good ol’ smut.

4.) Heart Between His Teeth

Rating: E

Summary: So maybe there are better things to life than being drugged and fucked so hard you can't even think for yourself.

Personal thoughts: OMFG. I CAN NOT STRESS ENOUGH HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS FIC.

5.) Angel Dust’s Not So Illustrious Life

Rating: T

Summary: Alastor isn’t sure why he’s become Angel’s primary target, but the more he attempts to dissuade Angel’s advances, the more fervent they seem to become.

And maybe Alastor likes that...maybe...Yet it seems there’s more to Angel than innuendos and a quick romp.

Personal thoughts: I kinda love this fic a lot where Angel and Alastor respect each other’s boundaries.

6.) Caught In His Own Web

Rated:E

Summary: "So when the devil wants to dance with you, you better say never. Because the dance with the devil might last you forever."

Redemption is hard when you don't want to do it. Redemption is even harder when a certain Radio Demon keeps enabling your sinful behavior.

Personal thoughts: My favourite trope, bad people being worse together.

7.) I Thought I Knew You 

Rated: M

Summary: Angel Dust can't ruin the hotel's reputation if he can't go outside. Or, at least, that's what Alastor says. Of course, it's all a ploy to torture Alastor's least favorite spider demon, but maybe he doesn't know Angel Dust as well as he thinks he does.

Personal thoughts: I really like this one especially since it feeds into my “Alastor is a dick in all AUs.”

8.) Sex, drugs and radio host

Rating: E

Summary: For some ungodly reason, Alastor decides to keep Angel safe and sound - meaning no sex, prostitution and certainly no drugs. Of course, this wild idea is met with more than a little resistance. But... no one ever cared if Angel was safe. And sometimes, all he would like is a hug. Sex sure is nice, but he is more than willing to explore the possibilities.

The trouble is, it doesn't seem like Alastor is offering anything specific. Keeping things strange and vague is not helping, especially when a new guest catches Alastor's attention.

Personal thoughts: Its cute and theres feelings involved is all I’m saying.

9.) Gentleman's Wager 

Rating: None

Summary: Sick of listening to Angel Dust's crass and vulgar language, Alastor makes a bet with him. If Angel Dust can remain absolutely silent for one whole week, he'll give in and kiss him.

Personal thoughts: *inhales* JVKJGCHJCHJCVJHVJHGCJHCJHCGFD I LOVE THIS SO MUCH PLEASE READ IT.

10.) Triggered 

Rating: None

Summary: Angel Dust had never really thought too much about the static hum surrounding Alastor wherever he went... until now anyway.

Personal thoughts: It's a very good fic about ANgel dealing with PTSD. Def check it out.

11.) Dinner and Drinks 

Rating: None

Summary: Alastor and Angel Dust can barely tolerate each other and Charlie seeks to fix that.

Personal thoughts: Again, a slow development of Angel and Alastor’s relationship.

12.) You Do Something to Me 

Rating: T

Summary: Alastor's radio signals go both ways, and for the past few decades he's tuned into the most beautiful voice. What a surprise to find the source in the Happy Hotel right under his nose.

A relationship that grows through music.

Personal thoughts: AGAIN, PLEASE READ THIS IT IS CUTE HECK AND WILL CLEAR YOUR SKIN. Also, its part 2: No One Knows Anything But Us 

13.) 1932

Rating: M

Summary: The 1930s are the for perfect time to nurture any up-and-coming radio host or serial killer alike. Alastor is no exception.

Set in New Orleans in 1932, Alastor is living his best life. Broadcaster by day and home chef by night, he's learned that Jumbalaya is best served with a side of human liver and a still beating heart. That is until he brings the wrong meal to his table, a member of the Italian mafia, and ends up biting off more than he can chew.

With his latest meal escaping the table and his identity running the risk of being found out, Alastor faces his biggest hunt yet. The streets of New Orleans are his forest and this time, it's his head on the platter.

AKA Alastor screws up and now has to fix his mess in Dixieland while balancing his day job, cannibalistic hunger, and learn how to be a decent human being for once along the way. Should be fun.

Personal thoughts: I absolutely adore this fic. Please give it a shot.

14.) Contracts and Deals Series

Rating: E

Summary: Angel Dust, Hell's number one porn actor.

Alastor, Hell's most renowned overlord.

The two cross paths.

Angel makes a deal with Alastor to get out of his contract with Valentino. One thing leads to another.

Personal thoughts: It’s a good series that eventually gets really fluffy.

15.) Good Management

Rating: M

Summary: Alastor thought he had Angel Dust filed away into his niche box in the Hotel. He was wrong. But he's a good enough manager to fix his responsibilities.

Personal thoughts: Its AngeliaDark. You know it’s good.

16.) Anything for you

Rating: M

Summary: Valentino faces the consequences of hurting someone that Alastor deeply favors

i.e. Val fucking dies

Personal thoughts: Any fic where Val dies is a good fic.

17.) Predator and Prey

Rating: M

Summary: Every couple of years, Angel Dust goes through a change that makes him a lot less tolerable to be around, for many more reasons than one. The staff of the Hotel are about to learn that the hard way, none more so than Alastor.

Personal thoughts: Okay so, slight dubcon, would recommend checking the tags before going into it. Though I love how it tackles on the story of Alastor being a deer which is technically a prey animal and Angel being the predator for once. Absolutely love it.

18.) Good Tidings 

Rating: T

Summary: A Christmas party in Hell isn't the big selling point for the Happy Hotel (For Hazbins), but Charlie feels that the holiday season is just what her friends need to open up to and help one another.

So what better way to do it than with a Secret Santa?

When Angel Dust draws none other than his crush, the Radio Demon, he knows he has one shot to not eff it up.

Personal thoughts: Really fluffy, a good read. Highly recommend it.

19.) Vanilla Bean

Rating: T

Summary: Alastor decides to try his hand at pet names and inadvertently offends Angel Dust. Rated T for swearing and there's suggestive content if you close one eye, tilt your head, and squint.

Personal thoughts: Okay so i loved this one because of how badly these two handle communication.

20.) For Auld Lang Syne, My Dear

Rating: M

Summary: Alastor's solitude is interrupted by Angel Dust who has just escaped a rough client and the two spend the last moments of 2019 together.

Personal thoughts: Love love love this. I just love Angel and Alastor dancing together okay.

21.) I Like It Better When I'm With You 

 Rating: M

Summary: Angel deals with feelings. Alastor deals with feelings. Just a whole lot of pining.

Personal thoughts: Summary says it all.

22.) Technical Difficulties

Rating: M

Summary: The hotel is running relatively well. Relationships between Alastor and the rest of the staff are budding surprisingly smoothly. And then the rainfall starts up, threatening all of it.

Alastor's out of tune.

Personal thoughts: I love how this is written. Slowburn but worth it.

23.) Lurking in the Shadows 

Rated M

Summary: 5 instances where a curious and head-over-heels shadow follows Angel Dust around and 1 time where Angel decides to follow it instead.

Personal thoughts: It’s very cute how Alastor’s shadow pines after Angel.

24.) Crossroads

Rating: M

Summary: A mafioso’s and a murderous radio star’s paths collide in New Orleans in the winter of 1933.

Personal thoughts: OKAY SO I REALLY LOVE THIS BECAUSE HUMAN AUS ARE MY JAM AND THEN ALASTOR AND ANGEL BEING TERRIBLE HUMANS TOGETHER IS EVEN BETTER.

25.) Needle Through a Bug

Rating: E

Summary: Angel wakes up in a hospital after a party. His doctor is very strange, worryingly so. Still, he can't help but be intrigued.

Personal thoughts: Doctor AU. Alastor is insane. I love it because Alastor manages to be as creepy as possible while saving lives.

26.) My Roommate's a Demonic Deer 

 Rating: M

Summary: Don't you hate it when you "accidentally" summon a demon to fix a problem within your home, only to find out that they don't do that, so now you're stuck with a cannibalistic demon that constantly tracks blood onto the floor, brings other unholy beings into your apartment, and makes amazing jambalaya? It's amazing insanity!

Personal thoughts: Lmao I love demon summoning gone wrong so this was really an amazing read. Angel being a true himbo is always the best.

27.) Human Hazbin Roommates AU series

Rating: E, M

Summary: A series of porny RadioDust one-shots depicting modern human AU roommate life.

Notes:

Glimpses into the human lives of insufferable roommates.

(AKA This was supposed to be a practice at writing present tense smut and it devolved into sex and feelings)

Personal thoughts: Dive in for the smut, come out with the feels.

28: Darker Side of Hell series

Rating: E

Summary: Follow Charlie and later Alastor as part of my Story for the Hazbin hotel... It ain't pretty, so enjoy!

Personal thoughts: Not everyone’s cup of tea so i suggest reading the tags but I really love this series a lot. Angel being awkward and in love is the best shit ever. Its an amazing series.

29.) Scorched, Uninhabited, Rejected

Rating: M

Summary: When Hell suddenly loses all working functions, and angels start dropping from their overhead perches to attack the underworlds population, Charlie has no idea what to do before she's suddenly face to face with a Archangel. Though something, clearly, isn't right about the air the angel assures her to keep those who are dear tucked tightly by her side as the disaster struggles to fix itself.

But nothing is as it seems, Overlords' powers are dwindling and even her own is becoming strained as she struggles to protect her beloved hotel and friends from the Exterminators outside.

Personal thoughts: *vibrates* Can’t say much without spoilers so I’m just gonna beg ya all to read this.

30.) The Thin Line

Rating: None

Summary: Studies say it takes fifty hours of interaction before you consider someone a casual friend and two hundred to be a close friend. Alastor and Angel Dust manage to skip right past close friends to something more without either even noticing they've crossed the line.

31.) La Vie En Rose

Rating: G

Summary: Alastor learns that Angel is afraid of thunderstorms, and Angel in turn learns about the Radio Demon.

32.) falling 

Rating: M

Summary: "You're hot as fuck, be my boyfriend."

That was perhaps the worst thing he could've possibly said from that standpoint.

A college setting where Angel gets suddenly awful at flirting when it comes to the face of his crush, a cute library assistant that goes by Alastor.

Personal thoughts: COLLEGE AU COLLEGE AU. 

33.) Old Habits Die Hard

Rating: G

Summary: Angel decides to bring back a little habit of his after having a rough time.

Personal thoughts: Hella soft, please read.

34.) Handwritten 

Rating: None

Summary: Alastor imagines Angel must be lonely in heaven, he writes to keep him company.

 A series of letters addressed to Angel.

Personal thoughts: Hi, do you like crying into your pillow at 2 AM? You do? The look no further, this is the fic for you! Now, with extra heart wrenching feels!

35.) Relapse and Recovery

Rating: T

Summary: Going clean was never going to be easy, but easy was something Angel Dust never expected going into this anyway. At least he has a good support system to help him along the way.

Personal thoughts: I just really like AngeliaDark’s fics okay.

36.) Catalyst

Rating: T

Summary: All couples have their downfalls, and an event that should have been celebrated only drives Alastor and Angel Dust apart.

Personal thoughts: Love love love this. It’s very well written, reads easy and you’ll feel fluffy for days.

37.) Dinner Date: A RadioDust Tale

Rating: E

Summary: Angel Dust finally finds a way to get Alastor to agree to a 'date'. After all, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.

Sometimes literally.

Personal thoughts: One of my favourite stories about RadioDust.

38.) This One's Dedicated to [static interruption]

Rating: M

Summary: A couple of years since the hotel's opening, the residents have settled down into a fairly tolerable routine. Recently, some of them have begun experiencing peculiar symptoms which become more noticeable as time passes. To his dismay, the Radio Demon finds that he is not immune.

A chance encounter with Angel Dust propels the two demons together as they attempt to answer what's behind the unusual phenomena, while rediscovering all the things they thought dead and buried along the way.

Personal thoughts: Slowburn but definitely worth it. I love the story and how it’s progressing with a certain mystery surrounding the whole plot.

Also slight self plug I guess:

39.) 14 ways to say “I Love You”

Rating: T

Summary: Just a collection of small drabbles I’m writing on based on single word prompts.

Please check it out if you’re a fan of odd AUs.

Wowee, that’s a lot. I’m gonna call it a night and say that’s all for today. I hope you enjoy these! 

[cali-holland]

Exile- Harrison Osterfield One Shot

Pairing: Harrison Osterfield X Reader

Prompt: Ever since you two broke up, Harrison’s felt like he’s been exiled. What happens when you two cross paths at the premiere of your movie?

Word Count: 1700

Warnings: swearing, (implied) getting hit on by a creep?

Masterlist   Harrison Osterfield Masterlist

*Gif is not mine*

Based On: Exile by Taylor Swift ft. Bon Iver

“I think I've seen this film before And I didn't like the ending You're not my homeland anymore So what am I defending now? You were my town, now I'm in exile, seein' you out”

This was also for @harrysleftchelseaboot ‘s writing challenge for the prompt (bolded in the fic): “On a scale of one to ten, how mad would you be if-” “At least a twenty.”

~~~

Harrison knew you would be here. He knew you wouldn’t miss the premiere of your first big movie. And he knew he wouldn’t miss it either, not when his name was also on the poster right beside yours. Well, it wasn’t right next to yours; in between your names was your fellow co-star’s name, but still, Harrison was here, on the red carpet of the big event, acting like he didn’t see you at the end of the carpet. And you were doing the same, not acknowledging his presence either. Both of you focused on the flashing lights in front of you.

The carpet was unbearably long for Harrison. He wanted to be excited about this film, it was meant to be his big break, but how could he be enthusiastic over it when he already knew how the film ended? As the movie played on the silver screen, his mind raced back to you.

After all, he’d seen this film before.

“We’re never going to get through this scene.” The director sighed as you and Harrison tried your best to quit laughing.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” You said, your breath faltering before you burst out in laughter again.

“For fuck’s sake, Y/N. Get it together.” Harrison couldn’t even try to sound stern as he joked, his laughter echoing through the room. You leaned against him on the couch, clutching onto his arm momentarily.

“Hey! You’ve messed up all the other takes too!” You huffed, standing up to go to your mark. You wiped away the tears that had come to your eyes as Harrison moved his jaw around, his cheeks hurting from laughing too hard with you. 

While this film was meant to be reminiscent of a classic 2000’s romcom, this scene wasn’t meant to be humorous. This was meant to be the most intimate scene between your characters- your character was distraught over how Harrison’s character got into a fight to protect her in an effort to show her how much he loved her, though his intentions were laced with jealousy. Despite the feeling in the scene, neither of you could film it properly, instead you both kept bursting out in laughter. The casting director had loved the chemistry between you and Harrison, but the actual director almost hated it because of the added difficulty when it came to filming scenes like this.

“And action!” The director called.

“Are you mad?” Harrison asked.

“Of course, I’m mad.” You scoffed, walking to the couch that he was on and sat down beside him. You placed the wrapped ice pack in our hands on his knuckles, painted with realistic, yet fake blood. “You can’t just beat up my ex with no warning.”

“On a scale of one to ten, how mad would you be if-” He started, but you cut him off.

“At least a twenty.”

“Even if he was-”

“A twenty.” You confirmed, not even letting him finish again, just as scripted. “I love you, but you need to control your jealousy.”

“You what?” He asked quietly, and you looked away from him, bashfully.

“It’s nothing.”

“No, you said you love me.” A small smile played on Harrison’s lips. He lifted a hand to your chin, tenderly bringing your face to his, “Say it again.”

“I love you. There.” You said, and he leaned in, his lips just barely not on yours.

“Again.” He whispered. He was so close, you felt like he was sucking the breath right out of your lungs. The intimacy of this moment, right here, was always the one that broke the two of you.

“I love you.” You repeated, biting back a laugh in order to keep a straight face. Harrison’s lips brushed against yours, bringing you in for a kiss. You felt him shake a little underneath you, before he pulled away, and you both began laughing.

“Cut!” The director shouted, and Harrison bit his lip, looking at you. “Perfect. We need a couple more angles and then it’ll be done.”

Technically, that day on set was when you and Harrison shared your first kiss, the first kiss of many for your relationship, both on-screen and off-screen. Much like his character, Harrison fell for you quickly. And, much like his character, things didn’t end well for him. He could remember it all so clearly, even now he had to swallow back his tears.

Another night, another fight, but this time it sounded like it was really over. It had to be the hundredth fight this week- arguing over him never defending you, over your offending words, over you never hearing him out, over him not being able to read your mind anymore. It all built up to hurt, and Harrison wasn’t sure if he could turn things around.

He raced home as soon as he could, but being multiple zones away from your shared home in London, it wasn’t nearly fast enough. When he arrived, everything of yours was gone, except for a single cardigan, but technically it was his cardigan that you would wear more often than him. No amount of crying could bring you back, though, as he called and called you, hoping that it wasn’t actually over. He couldn’t just let it be over, even if he hadn’t seen all the warning signs. He wanted nothing more than to turn things around, but he was too late this time.

The film ended, and he was right. He had seen this film before. Not only had he acted it out with your character leaving his in the end because the relationship had gotten out of hand, but he had also lived it with your actual relationship, like a sick, twisted parallel. Surrounded by his supportive friends and family that clapped him on the back in congratulations, he couldn’t help but feel exiled as your eyes avoided his at all costs.

The crowd of people migrated to the after party, and Harrison found himself leaning against the bar, trying his best to hide his sulking. He looked up from his drink as he heard your laughter from down the bar. It was your fake laugh, he just knew it, but he still missed the sound of your attempted happiness nonetheless. He eyes trained on you, watching how a man told you yet another awful joke with his arms around your body.

For a moment, Harrison wished he could be the stranger, holding you tightly in his arms again and telling you the worst jokes because he could always make you laugh no matter what, but then he noticed who the man was. It was his stunt double from the film. While the film was relatively stunt free, there were still a few scenes that required a double. If it was any other guy, Harrison would be jealous; he was still in love with you after all. This was different though. His stunt double, though Harrison appreciated his role in the film, continuously flirted with you throughout filming, always trying to get with you, even once you and Harrison started dating. You’d told Harrison more than once about the uncomfortable situations the stunt double put you in.

Your eyes flickered over to him, meeting Harrison’s briefly. He may not have been able to read your mind while you two were dating, but he could certainly read it now. He immediately recognized your silent call for help and took action, setting aside his drink and hurrying over to you. You weren’t his homeland anymore, but he had to defend you, he’d always defend you.

“Hey, mate, I think you should back off her.” Harrison said, putting a hand on his castmate’s shoulder, who just glared at him.

“And I think you should fuck off.” He replied sharply, but let go of your waist anyway. “Don’t you already know she doesn’t want you anyway?”

His spiteful words were enough for Harrison to see red, sending a sharp punch straight to his stunt double’s nose, who stumbled back in surprise and pain.

“Harrison!” You gasped, not expecting that response from him. He let out a hiss, rubbing over his pained knuckles. You grabbed his hand, leading him out of the party, where people were starting to talk already. You sighed lightly, taking his hands in his, tracing over his freshly bruised knuckles, blood ready to peek through the cracks, “You didn’t have to get your knuckles all bloody for me.”

“I had to defend you.” He reasoned as if it was that simple.

“Well, thank you. I guess you do know how to read my mind after all.” You said almost hesitantly, unsure about bringing up the same words that wounded the two of you months ago. As you looked into his eyes, you felt something twist inside you; it added insult to injury, but they were still the same icy blue eyes that you fell in love with over a year ago.

“I should go.” Harrison spoke up after a moment, drawing you back to the reality that was right now. He was once your crown, your everything- and you couldn’t just see him out, you couldn’t let him go. Your hand held tighter to his, keeping him from moving even though he made no real effort to walk away.

“Stay.” Your voice was so quiet he barely heard it. He winced a little under your touch, and you looked down, seeing the blood beginning to peek out of his knuckles from you squeezing that hand. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize-”

“You know, this seems familiar.” He stated, cutting you off. He repeated his line from the movie, “On a scale of one to ten, how mad would you be if-“

“At least a twenty.” You smiled at him. You leaned in and kissed him, your hand going to the back of his neck. His hands wrapped around your body, pulling you into him. It was then, with his lips moving perfectly with yours again, that Harrison felt a wave of relief wash over him. He liked this ending a lot better than the movie’s ending, the ending that brought him out of exile.

~~~ Tag List: @viagracex @theamazingtomholland​ @Hellomoveonby @heyitsshrez @harrisonosterfieldhazmyheart @joyleenl @t-o-m-holland​ @lonikje​ @sleepybesson​ @sunkisseddreamer​ @hollandsamor

Harrison Tag List: @Calhtlland @tomkindholland​ @where-art-thau-romeo​

[itsbenedict]

I didn’t post about everything I played this year, so here’s my opinions on the stuff I played that I didn’t make a rec post for:

Raging Loop 

Raging Loop is one of them twisty meta Zero Escape-y branching-path visual novels where an ensemble cast is trapped in a mysterious circumstance where people are dying gruesomely, and you have to find out what’s happening and stop it by looping a bunch. 

I can’t wholeheartedly recommend it, because... it tries to have its cake and eat it too with the supernatural elements. Clearly magic is real and has important impacts on the scenario, but then other parts are trickery you’re supposed to see through, and it’s entirely uninterested in cluing you in to how that trickery was accomplished. Not exactly a fair play mystery, in that regard- you have to kind of just be along for the ride, rather than try to figure it out.

That said, it’s a good ride- pretty strong character writing, and the central conceit of the Werewolf/Mafia-style murder scenario creates really interesting drama. It’s more concerned with making itself feel clever than letting the player feel clever, but it’s still well-paced and gripping and has a pretty decent resolution.

Detective Grimoire

I recommended Tangle Tower, the sequel, pretty strongly- and this one, while obviously a little rougher around the edges with the art and mechanics (the suspicion tracker system is a total dud; I didn’t even realize it existed until I realized I was missing an achievement for using it), it’s still pretty darn good. Really fun character designs and animations, fully-voiced, and a solid whodunit backing it all. Plus- while the two are more or less self-contained, the continuity threads with Tangle Tower raised some really interesting questions.

Contradiction - the all-video murder mystery

This one was pretty fun, largely on the strength of the actors. The main mechanic of interrogating people on evidence and using their own statements against each other was some good stuff, too. Definitely had that Phoenix Wright quality to the deductions, and Jenks is a really fun character. (Had a few points where progression was just linked to standing in a certain previously-abandoned area of the map where a clue was suddenly there for no reason, there- good thing it had a hint system.)

As a mystery, it could use a little work- most of what you end up finding out is sequel bait (for a sequel that never actually came together, unfortunately), and the actual whodunit is just sort of hiding in the cracks of all that. And... cornering the culprit just sort of happens out of nowhere once you’ve got your hands on the right piece of evidence, without much fanfare. You’re following up on leads like usual, you find a little lie in someone’s testimony, and then- oh, shit, they’re just confessing everything! Unlike all the previous times you questioned them and they were super evasive like everyone else! And then the game is over. 

All in all, it’s pretty meaty and entertaining and I’d recommend it, but unfortunately the creators have moved on to other things, so there’s not going to be any follow-up on the stuff it left unresolved.

Ikenfell

Ikenfell is a tightly-designed RPG about kids at a magic school, with Paper Mario-style action command mechanics and a battle system that makes a big deal out of careful positioning and movement, which was really enjoyable. The difficulty’s a little high (I recommend always always always speccing into max damage because killing things before they kill you is worth more than any amount of defense, speed doesn’t work, and healing is cheap), but I found it really satisfying.

There’s... something... off? About... I don’t know how to put it, it’s... doing that “yes, everyone is queer and mentally ill, deal with it” thing, which, sure, okay. But for a lot of them it’s such a background thing, like... half the playable cast is unambiguously nonbinary, but like... I don’t know if it’s trying to make some statement on how there are no rules to being NB and you can 100% perform a particular binary gender presentation but still count, or if they wrote the whole story and then changed the pronouns of some of the characters for Representation Points, or what. Probably the former? I dunno, it just feels weird. Maybe I’m just not woke enough to Get It.

(unrelatedly: why the heck is the official art they use everywhere so... off-model? none of them look like they do in-game- they look like the creator commissioned someone to draw a group shot with one reference image each and didn’t tell them anything about the characters. how much you wanna bet they commissioned a friend and it came out wrong but they were too polite to say “sorry, no, this is wrong, can you do it over?”)

Trails of Cold Steel IV

Hoo boy. It’s... not great, and it’s not great in a pretty predictable way for an even-numbered entry in the Trails series. It happens every time- first there’s a game in a new engine with new characters and a new world to explore, and it’s really nice and does interesting things... and then it ends on a cliffhanger, and then there’s a sequel game in the same engine with the same characters and the same world, reusing as many assets as possible. Also the League Of Generically Evil Anime Supervillains is there causing trouble for reasons they refuse to explain, and the plot is a storm of magicbabble and macguffin-chasing that makes little to no sense. 

Cold Steel IV is that for Cold Steel III, full stop. Welcome back to all the same places you visited last game, except this time there’s some stupid magic apocalypse happening (not that it stops you from taking the time to do random sidequests constantly, of course). The whole “oh, the evil curse mind controls people and that’s why they do stupid bullshit that’s in no one’s interest” plot point is leaned on super hard, and it’s just a big yawn the whole way through.

It’s still really fun, though, because the battle system remains really well-designed. (The same battle system that was just as fun in Cold Steel III, mind you, but it hasn’t gotten old.) And- though they’re struggling to square it with the dumb mind control apocalypse plot, the NPC dialogue continues to make the world feel believable and lived-in. They don’t slack on the parts that make Trails good- it’s just the parts that make Trails bad are making themselves more evident than ever.

did finally get to date Towa though so that’s a win

One Step From Eden

OSFE is... uh. It’s fucking hard is what it is. It’s sort of a deckbuilding roguelike, and there’s this combat that takes place on a grid, and- wait, it’s like Mega Man Battle Network, it’s exactly like Mega Man Battle Network. Man, I forgot about that, but the mechanical influence is extremely obvious. It’s MMBN meets Slay the Spire.

Except it’s super duper hard as hell, because unlike MMBN you can’t pause and swap out chips or anything- everything is just always happening so much, all at once, everywhere, and you have no recourse but to git gud and learn all the enemy patterns and the behavior of your own spells and develop the twitch reflexes necessary to not fucking die from all the shit that’s on the screen always.

(What’s the story? Uhhhh, there was some kind of magic apocalypse, and some anime girls are trying to reach a city for some reason that doesn’t really get explained ever. The game doesn’t really care to build its world at all- it’s all mechanics plus a little token character dialogue that doesn’t say much.)

The point is it’s really frickin’ hard but I am an epic pro gamer and I got ALL THE ACHIEVEMENTS, MOTHERFUCKER. If you’ve played it, I expect you to be really god damn impressed with me, okay???

A Short Hike

This one was really relaxing! It’s a platformer where you explore an Animal Crossing-y island of cartoon animal people, collecting mobility upgrades- but like, mainly it’s about straight chillin’. The flight controls are fun and there’s lots of little secrets to find and it’s just a nice time that doesn’t drag on too long. Not too much to say about this one.

Pokémon Sword

Ehhhhh.

I’m not here for the hot takes about how Dexit is good actually. Development hell happened, they had to make cuts for time, I get it. It’s disappointing and makes the game a little bit worse, but it’s not the end of the world.

Apart from that... perfectly serviceable? The Wild Area could’ve used a little more technical polish (as could most things in the game, really) but was a step in the right direction, giving the player a wider array of early-game team-building options than ever before. No HMs is good. Story and characters were kind of nothing, but that’s par for the course. “At least this time they’re not shoehorning in some kind of stupid evil-team-wants-legendary-pokemon-to-destroy-the-world apocalypse plot”, I thought to myself before they managed to shoehorn one in at the last minute with zero buildup- but, hey, beats wasting half the game on it.

It’s nothing special and it’s missing a lot of polish, but its problems are mainly due to being rushed, and presumably next gen they’ll be able to reuse a lot of the models and animations (maybe even improve the animations so they’re not so boring??? a man can dream) and make something interesting. SwSh seem like they were testing the waters for something else, and not taking too many chances in the meantime. 

(yo why would you sell all these cosmetic items and then turn them all off during gym battles, though) 

Hades

Hades is- oh, who am I kidding? Everyone knows Hades, it’s the game of the year, greatest thing since sliced bread, Supergiant are heroes, yada yada yada. I’ve played almost 300 hours of it and I’ve completed everything except all the Resources Director levels (currently a Sigma Wraith), it’s extremely fun and you don’t need me to tell you that.

Petal Crash

It was that thing the Paranatural creator helped on? It’s, uh. It’s a block-sliding puzzle game thing, sort of in a Puyo Puyo vein. It has fun character designs and some good dialogue, like you’d expect from Zack’s involvement, but it didn’t really leave an impression otherwise (besides how got dang infuriating some of its Turn Trial puzzles can be.) The story is... kinda heartwarming, kinda didactic, kinda childish, not especially deep or interesting. Hard for it to be, when it’s told through little bits of fluffy character dialogue that exist to set up a puzzle battle as quickly as possible. Not super recommended unless you really really like block-sliding puzzles.

Hollow Knight

Man, why’d I sleep on this for so long? It’s a metroidvania platformer with heavy Dark Souls inspiration, in terms of tone and difficulty and death mechanics and environmental storytelling. And it’s... apart from all that, just really good as a game, with tight controls and juicy movement and great animation. Progression is linked as much to mastery as it is to upgrades collected- I found myself in lategame areas facing down things that would’ve killed me ten times over at the start- not because I had the best gear, but because I’d learned the game’s language and understood how to move in ways that wouldn’t get me killed.

(Usually. Sometimes I’d walk into a room and sit on a bench and suddenly there’d be a boss fight and I’d get slaughtered. Ain’t that just the way it goes?)

Anyway, on top of all that it’s just charming as hell, with a really unique and well-realized world full of little bug people. I love how, like, your character is clearly some kind of eldritch abomination, but it’s small and cute and so everyone (besides enemies that attack you on sight because they’re possessed by some kinda evil mold) is like “awww, who’s this little guy? want some help, little guy?”

(except Zote, who is just an ass hole. i love him.)

[adultswim2021]

Space Ghost Coast to Coast #82: “Baffler Meal” | January 1, 2003 - 12:00 AM | S08E01

An all-time classic, wonderful episode. Ending 2002 on a high note (technically this is the first episode of 2003 being that it aired at midnight, but I’m delaying my EPHEMERA CORNER post for as long as I can).

The origins of Aqua Teen Hunger Force are laid bare for all to see with Baffler Meal. Aqua Teen Hunger Force was famously based on a rejected Space Ghost script. Well, this is that script, re-imagining the Aqua Teens based on old designs and concepts from that unproduced episode. The desired effect is to approximate what that episode would have been like had it been produced in 1999 before the Aqua Teen Hunger Force series proper was developed. It’s supposed to be confusing; to the point where in the DVD commentary track they even question weather or not they should make it clear within the commentary that that’s what’s going on here (they do).

I will now take this opportunity to quote one of my favorite synopses of a TV show ever, originally taken from tvtome (remember tvtome? god, what a great site):

Space Ghost is forced into a raw deal with the deadly Colonial Man, forever altering the future of classic rock - again. Willie Nelson and a MOCKERY of the Aqua Teen Hunger Force star in this episode. This episode mocks a great comedy show. It doesn't feel funny in the least.

Here you can see the lack of understanding for what the episode really is. Despite the fact that the ostensible Space Ghost fan (tvtome was run by volunteer submissions for it’s episode data) should one-thousand percent understand the Space Ghost connection, clearly recognize Dave Willis’ voice (he still voices Meatwad in a very similar manner), etc. The degree of confusion this episode caused can not be understated.

Nuggets from the DVD commentary:

Frylock is a guy in a costume in this. Okay, that wasn’t specifically from the DVD commentary, but it’s the first time I caught that detail, ever, and I don’t want to start a separate bullet-point list for stray observations.

Shake’s read of “blahd” instead of “blade” was inspired by a real typo in the script, just like “Branford the Branford” before it.

Todd Hanson of The Onion helped write this episode and kept pitching a character named Napkin Lad. I believe Napkin Lad actually comes to be later in the Aqua Teen series.

And another thing I love: The cool song at the end. The part where Dave is like “OH BABY, YEAH BABY” etc. towards the very end of the episode? That part gets stuck in my head like, VERY FREQUENTLY, and for years I thought it was Bob Odenkirk singing in either a Mr. Show or Ben Stiller Show sketch and have been trying to place it forever. Turns out it wasn’t Bob, but David, and I ain’t talkin’ Cross, do I sound cross to you? Do you even appreciate wordplay??

NEXT is my end-of-the-year roundup of second-run premieres, shorts, commercials, bumpers, etc. That’s right, EPHEMERA CORNER is back! But it’s gonna be a long one so I might break it up over the course of a few days, maybe a week, even.

MAIL BAG

I think these were all anonymous, please forgive me if I have, as the French say, “fucked up” by failing to name the conspirator.

2002 is almost over! What do you think brak's position on the iraq war was? Carl's? Hesh's? Junior addleburg's?

Brak: against, but respects the office of the presidency and urges using civil methods to protest. Carl: pro, he is a white supremacist and is supportive of any and all mass destruction committed on non-white nations. Hesh: HESH WANTS SOME SEX! lol. Junior Addleburg: has not been told about the war.

Do you think you are being overtly charitable to Brak this time around? Surely the best Brak show episode isnt even half as good as the worst Home Movies episode. Right?

I do tend to react to “better” Brak episodes the same way you encourage a problem student when they squeak out a B minus. There absolutely was a time when I loved The Brak Show and was all-in on it. That time was SEPTEMBER 2nd-8th, 2001. Hippo was certainly a factor. 9/11 may have also contributed.

I don’t think I’ve said this yet, but I’ve been keeping a running episode ranking of Adult Swim shows as I’ve been doing this. It’ll probably get revised at some point, so I’m not exactly ready to share it. In my ranking I tended to group Home Movies episodes very close to each other, and I would sometimes talk myself into ranking things a little higher or lower than I normally would just to break up a long streak of Home Movies. So I can actually say with impunity, yes, there are strong episodes of Brak Show that I've ranked over weaker episodes of Home Movies. But I might have to have a little chat with the man in the mirror about that.

Are you only doing animated shows or are you going to do live animated shows to. I feel like most people agree Tim and Eric bringing live-action to the block ruined it permanently even if you think those guys are funny in a vacuum. I'm just wondering because I know you did animation only for your Simpsons Night B-sodes so I feel you are a "tooned-in" guy.

Live-action is getting reviewed too! I can’t WAIT to revisit Saul of the Molemen. Are you fucking kidding me? I’m not sure where to draw the line on the internet stuff, though. If it aired on Adult Swim I’m very likely to cover it, but I don’t see myself covering the FishCenter repeats that aired at 4AM. Anime is generally getting the shaft. Sorry. I think it’d be cool if somebody started a blog that covered Adult Swim Action. But yes, you are right, I’m a pretty tooned-in guy. Lots of people have said this about me.

If you had to dress like any of the Adult Swim First Era characters for Halloween who would you dress as and who would you LIKE to dress as if difficulty of pulling it off wasn't an issue.

There was a Space Ghost muscle suit at one of those Halloween Stores one year and I very nearly bought it even though I had no intention of wearing it for Halloween. I did a very low-effort season 4 Hank Venture because by happenstance my hair looked like his at the time, and I found what looked like Brock’s jacket at a thrift store.

Putting on a blue Sealab uniform and only traveling in a chair with wheels would be real fun. I could probably pull of an effective Carl. As far a difficult costume I’d be the poolside announcer during the O.G. bumpers, because I imagine that he’s very muscular and his dick is real long and it’s constantly flopping out of the pantleg of his swim trunks and that it’s getting sucked off all the time by them old ladies and most of the time he’s like “no no, we mustn’t do that, for I am a professional” but every now and again he’s like “well alright” and this would reflect my experiences at whatever Halloween party I’m at except it would be a 20 year old woman dressed like an old lady because it’s Halloween. Thanks for the question.

Do you have a girlfriend? What does she think of Adult Swim or does she hate cartoons like mine.

I’m not done with the last thing. I would also have a bullhorn and I’d be using it while getting sucked off, even though that’s a discreet affair. Like, we’d find a bedroom that was empty and lock the door and I’d be like “Oh yeah baby suck my peenie, yes you are doing so good at sucking that.” in hushed tones, but into the bullhorn. I’d also use it to yell at children for wearing racist or appropriative costumes, which, as we all know, leads to more getting-your-dick-sucked. Anyway, I got a wife and we literally met at an Adult Swim event during Comic-Con! It was Tim & Eric Awesome-con 2007! I’M NOT LYING

Would you rather take one big bite out of meatwad or drink the entirety of Master Shake.

I wonder if Master Shake is warm. Anyway, I’d go with that, biting Meatwad seems like CERTAIN DEATH.

[emu-lumberjack]

A Quick Meeting pt. 2

Damian is an exchange student in Paris, and Marinette doesn’t know too much about him, till a chance encounter provides an opportunity 

I finally figured out what was going on and am finally able to post part two here, finally. I’m not gonna retag those who wanted to be tagged, (tell me if you want to be) but I will put on the post that I figured it out. Thanks for sticking with me during the technical difficulties

Read part one here

Part 3 here 

part 4 here

They looked at each other vibrant blue eyes meeting piercing green. The entire class which minutes before were laughing and jeering had quieted to little more than a faint buzz. The two hadn’t said anything after they introduced themselves, both too startled to say anything else. They were left there in peace until a brunette slid between the two blocking Marinette's view of Damian.

“You must be the exchange student, I’m Lila. Don’t worry, I'll introduce you to the rest of the class and give you the tour later.” The liar herself took Damian by the elbow and dragged him off before he could say anything, still caught off guard by Marinette’s blue eyes.

There goes my chance at a friend. Marinette thought to herself fully knowing how much Lila could worm her way into anyones head. The bluenette with the sketchbook in hand went back up to her desk. She sank into her chair glad to be ignored by her former friends. Looking down she saw that most of the pages were pretty ripped up but still salvageable and right on top was the picture she had begun drawing of Damian’s eye. Grabbing her pen she started drawing the second one resolving to make it a matching pair. She was beginning to shade the second eye when a small tap on her shoulder made her jump three feet out of her chair.

“Is there someone sitting next to you?” The familiarly cold voice said.

“What? Right! No one is sitting next to me, except if you want to then I guess there is someone sitting next to me and…” Marinette tapered off as she saw Lila glaring at her. Even though she was Ladybug Marinette still wanted to avoid Lila’s ire, it was a pain to deal with at school.

Damian let out a quiet chuckle, “I guess there’s gonna be someone sitting next to you then.” He quietly sat himself down in the chair next to Marinette and started getting his books out. “Nice drawing by the way.” Marinette blushed slightly.

“Ok class time to start.” Madame Bustier said walking into the room, the conversation ceased from there, yet both parties knew they had just found a new ally.

-------------------

“What’s up Buginette.” Chat Noir said hopping down next to Ladybug. His bell made a soft little chime.

“Ya know, just the fifth night up in a row, I have three sewing projects to do.” She paused a beat, “Hey do you know anything about that new kid in class?” It had been a few weeks after Marinette gained guardianship when they decided to reveal their identities. With Adrien dating Kagami and Marinette thoroughly over her crush they both laughed at the situation and came out as good friends, and even though Damian had been in class for a week she still knew barely anything about him.

“Same as you, exchange student from Gotham. Cold, calm, and about to murder Lila.” Chat replied. He must’ve seen Damian’s face when Lila claimed she knew the Waynes. “Why? Do you like him?” Ladybug looked over to see Chat Noir’s face was filled with mocking innocence. Ladybug blushed under her mask.

“I will push you off the Eiffel Tower, or worse yet, sick Auroroe on your and Kagami’s relationship. I can see the headline now ‘Superhero Chat Noir dating girlfriend of Adrien Agreste! What will the model do when he finds out?’” Chat gave her a half-hearted punch in the arm for that, and they both had a laugh.

A few minutes later Ladybug noticed a quick blur ducking between alleyways. She gave Chat a nudge, “Did you see that?”

“See what?” He responded groggily.

“I thought I saw something ducking between the allies. It’s nothing”

“Ladybug, I know you, if you thought you saw something you saw something. I’d say go check it out. If it’s nothing, no big deal.”

“Alright, I’ll be back so don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone.” she smirked back at him, without looking she threw her yoyo in the direction of the blur and swung herself out.

“That happened one time!” He yelled after her.

Ladybug swung through the alleys looking for the blur when she spotted a small light out of the corner of her eye. There it is. She stopped her approach when she heard a low voice murmur

“Yes Kent I will get you those pastries you can pick them up tomorrow?” It was Damian, Ladybug would have known the voice anywhere. She opened up her yoyo to call Chat “Hey meet me at the eiffel tower in five minutes.” Now all she had to figure out how she would get Damian up to the tower.

It didn’t take the superheroine to think up an idea. Sorry. She thought to herself before throwing her yoyo his way.

-----------------------

Damian had just disconnected the call when he felt a cool wire wrap around his body. I do not need this right now he thought to himself as he was whipped up from the ground and into the arms of a familiar red and black clad superheroine.

“Ya know you could have just asked.” He said annoyed.

“But where’s the fun in that, and anyway I’ve got some questions for you.” her voice was lighter than it had been the other day, probably because there was no villain to fight.

She carried him up to a part of the Eiffel tower not easily seen by the public, where she proceeded to tie him dangling upside down by her yoyo.

“Whyyy.” he grumbled to himself, if he wanted this kind of treatment he would have stayed in Gotham with Todd.

“Ok first question, big one here. Do you know who I am?” She said sitting down.

“I don’t know your hero name, although I think your partner said Ladybug the other day, right after his terrible pun.”

“Rude.” A black clad boy said coming out of the shadows. A tail swished behind him.

“Well it’s true, you’re almost as bad as Grayson.” Damian was getting tired of this, he tried to feel into his pockets for his knife, before remembering he had left it back at his apartment.

“Everyone knows I’m Ladybug, I’m asking if you know who I am outside of the mask.” Damian turned towards the girl when she spoke.

“Well yeah. It’s rather hard to hide the blue hair.” And I’d never forget those blue eyes. The thought surprised even him.

She said something under her breath before looking at him, “This could be an issue, but if you already know then I guess there’s no use in trying to tell you off. I’m surprised, but I guess despite your looks you’re actually rather smart.”

The boy next to her let out a small laugh. “Are you going to introduce us Buginette, or am I going to have to guess.”

“Chat Noir, meet Damian. Damian meet Chat Noir.”

“So you’re the new exchange student. Ya know, put you in a fancy suit and add a little more scowl I’d think you were the Damian Wayne.” This warranted a rare laugh from Damian who after a few moments said,

“Because I am.” Chat Noir and Ladybug went pale. Damian took advantage of them being dumbstruck to feel into his pocket, There it is! He felt his phone, with a few taps he was able to hopefully get Jon’s contact up after all it was the last one he texted. He typed:

Eiffel Tower. Get here now.

“Oh. Shit.” the soft expletive dragged him from the texting. Marinette. No Ladybug in this costume, looked at him. “Lila’s new lie. Oh, my Kwamii. She’s gonna get it.”

“What’s the lie?” Chat Noir and Damian said at the same time.

“She said she’s dating, well, you.” She looked at Damian, after a beat the costume clad heroes burst into laughing, Damian looked horrified. He knew about her lying about knowing his family but this was new.

The giggling of the two heroes was interrupted when a blue blur came out of nowhere a few minutes later, and a moment after that the blur solidified into the form of a boy who had a too familiar blue suit. Damian who had just been swinging upside down was now being carried bridal style by the boy.

“We never speak of this to anyone.” He said in a low voice to Jon. “If my brothers find out I will personally end you.”

“Yeah, yeah. You say that every time I have to come save you.” The boys southern twang was more prominent than usual, probably because Damian had been spending so much time around the French. A soft “Ahem” broke the two out of their talking..

“Hello, who are you, what are you doing here…”

“And would you mind putting down the angry child.” Chat interrupted Ladybug.

“I am your age cat boy.” Damian responded, his voice may have been cool but there was a slight blush to his cheeks.

“Oh yeah. Sorry, I just got a text from Damian here saying ‘Rival them get here now.’ I had to ask Con to help, but we figured Damian meant the Eiffel Tower.” Jon put Damian down and handed the yoyo back to Ladybug. “Anyway I figured if Damian was asking for help then he actually needed it. Also my names J-”

“Superboy.” Damian interrupted before Jon could give away his secret identity. Again. Ladybug was looking at Damian, probably wondering why he had Superboys phone number, she’d hopefully come to the same conclusion everyone else did. That the youngest Wayne got into enough trouble he needed a fast way to contact the supers.

“Good to meet you superboy, I’m Ladybug and this is Chat Noir.” She took her gaze off Damian to focus it on Superboy. “Will you be in Paris long?”

“I’ll probably stay the night, make sure no one else tries to hurt Damian. Plus there's a bakery I really want to go to when it opens, the Dupain-Cheng Bakery. I’m sure you’ve heard of it.” Ladybug paled a little bit and looked at Damian.

“He doesn’t know, he’s just focused on his stomach.” Ladybug breathed a sigh of relief.

“Hey that's rude.” Jon said to Damian.

“It’s me, you expect anything different.”

“Ladybug gave a snort, “Well as funny as this is I need to talk to Damian alone, Chat can you handle patrol for a little bit? Maybe take Superboy show him around Paris for a bit.”

“Yeah I’ve got it.” with a mock bow he motioned for Superboy to follow him. Jon recognizing a fellow weeb on sight asked him about anime, and the two went off singing some theme song from their favorite anime.

“I’m suddenly very glad I’m not on patrol.” Ladybug said quietly to Damian.

“Agreed.”

------------------------------

It had been a long night for Marinette, first finding out Damian was a Wayne then meeting Superboy, she had to get him alone before she exploded.

“So what did you want to talk about?” Damian turned his green eyes towards her.

“I have several questions, but is there somewhere more private we could talk?” The Paris night grew colder as the stood still.

“Yeah, we can talk at my place.”  Which is how Marinette Dupain-Cheng wound up drinking hot coco sitting on the couch at Damian Wayne's apartment.

“I can’t believe that your father lets you stay in the apartment on your own.”

“Well I’m seventeen, he knows I can take care of myself. Plus he either has one of my brothers videochat me, or pop in for a ‘quick visit’ which is their version of making sure I haven’t done some irreparable damage to anything.” He said, pouring himself a cup of tea.

“Fair enough, now do you want to tell me why you were slinking in the alleys?” She said.

“Well I needed some air. And I was maybe… looking for you.” He begrudgingly said the last part.

Marinette blushed a little bit, “And why were you looking for me?”

“Well learning that Paris has heroes, plus getting saved by one makes me a little curious. Plus after class the other day I wanted to talk.” He took a sip of his tea.

“Alright. Also  since you apparently know superboy,” Marinette was still surprised about that fact, “there’s something I wanted to ask you about.”

“Ok, shoot.”

“I noticed that ever since you came here a week ago Robin, usually right next to Batman, hasn’t been seen. Red Robin has been popping up, but no Robin. You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that would you?” Although she tried to make her voice as non confrontational as possible, she still saw Damian pale. He tried to mask it by drinking his tea but Marinette still saw how he hesitated before he said,

“I don’t know Robin, I know Superboy because he is freakishly friendly and helps out around Gotham a lot.” Marinette noticed how he stared at his drink the entire time he was explaining it to her. She was debating about pushing the point further before he interrupted saying, “It wouldn’t matter if I knew him or not, the Bats all keep their identities close to their chests. No one knows who any of them are.” When he was done he looked up at Marinette, she noticed how his eyes were pleading with her to just go with it, so she did.

“Ok, so what did you want to talk about regarding Paris’ heroes.” He looked relieved, finally able to change the topic.

“Well, how did you get your powers? How long have you been active? Who are you facing? And why haven’t you called the Justice League for help?” He fired off the questions, not giving her a chance to respond.

“One at a time,” she laughed, “We get our powers from our kwamis, little gods who reside in the miraculous jewel, my kwami is named Tikki.” At mention of her name the Kwami came out and gave a little hello. “We’ve been active for about 3 years, we’re facing a villain named Hawkmoth who can use people's emotions and turn them into villains. And we did call the Justice League for help when we first started.. Green Lantern told us not to prank call him again.”  When Marinette finished Damian looked angry. Mainly at the Green Lantern bit she mentioned.

“I’ll have to talk to Superboy about it.” His voice which had been warming up suddenly felt icy.

“Speaking of which I should get back to Chat, before he and superboy decide to test their powers on each other.” Setting her cup down on the coffee table she stood up. “Thanks for the hot chocolate, and the conversation Damian, I’ll make sure to send Superboy your way. See you in class.” She said her transformation words followed by a quick “bug-out” before leaping through the window.

---------------------------

Damian sat in the suddenly empty room which smelled like freshly baked bread. Marinette was true to her promise and a few minutes later Supreboy came crashing through the window. After he changed he spent the next ten minutes telling Damian about how he and Chat went around the city just talking about anime, and the differences between English and French dubs. Both eventually agreeing subbed was the best. Damian wasn’t listening instead thinking about Marinette. Smarter than she seems he thought to himself, afterall she came very close to figuring out who he was. He made a mental note to his father that they need a Robin appearance soon.

“Damian. Damian! Are you even listening to me?” Jon’s voice cut through his thoughts.

“Sorry Kent I was thinking about someone else.” Jon looked at Damian incredulously.

“I might need to get my ears cleaned. Did you just say you were thinking about someone else?! Was it that superhero Ladybug? Do you like her?” Damian’s fury was undercut by the blush that appeared on his face.

“I don’t like anyone Kent you know that, and anyway she’s a hero with a mask. I can’t like anyone who is still wearing a mask around me.” Damian set his cup down a little harder than he needed to.

“I’m sure the great detective can figure out who's behind that mask pretty easily.”

“Keep it up Kent and I’ll be sending you back to Metropolis tonight. The hard way.”

Jon held his hands up in defeat. “Fine. Fine, but you and I are going to that bakery tomorrow.”

Damian looked at Jon, “The Dupain-Cheng Bakery?” A plan was forming in his head.

“That’s the one.”

“Not a bad idea.” It was time to talk to Marinette outside of class, and outside of the mask.

[oneweekoneband]

Five Taylor Swift Photos From Magazine Spreads Which Make Me Feel Unmoored In Space And Time

This 2014 Rolling Stone piece is called Reinvention of Taylor Swift and heralds that she’s “left country behind”. I’ve always felt Taylor’s relationship to country music is more complicated than the simple case of a country darling seeing a chance at crossover superstardom and abandoning her down-home roots for bubblegum, namely because Taylor doesn’t actually have any down-home roots. Total domination was always the plan, and everything I know about this woman says it was always going to work, too. If anything, the country years represented a transactional relationship between an ambitious young woman and the genre best positioned to uplift and provide an instant audience for a white, blonde singer who wants to write love songs. The whole this is less A Star is Born, more A Star is Intentionally And Calculatedly Built. But 1989—the release of which feels so long ago now, so much more than six years, farther away in my mind even than the older albums for being less firmly planted in my own psychic landscape and heart, that to try and recall the experience of having been 22 and reading this article is close to impossible—mark a coronation of sorts for a whole new girl, shorn, shined, and repackaged for mass distribution, as this stripped down and honestly kind of hot cover shoot shows. During the interview, Taylor offers the interviewer a choice of six different flavors of sparkling water, which is a level of decadence that I cannot imagine, then starts talking about HBO’s Girls. In 2014 it was still basically talk about Girls or be instantly murdered by roving death squad. That was just what life was then. Taylor says she is a Shoshanna but my brain, brave ally, has erased every piece of knowledge I ever accumulated about that show so I don’t know if she was right. What I like about this particular photo, wherein “I like” means, “makes me a little feral” is how it calls to mind, like, the kind of black & white snapshot of lads being lads on a beach somewhere during a long ago war which, were it to find its way onto Twitter today, would be immediately quote RT’d like fifty thousand times like, “seems gay imo.”

The critical takeaway from this Vogue article is that until 2016 Taylor Swift hadn’t been to her Pennsylvania hometown in a decade. Yes, the family relocated to Nashville when she was a teenager to begin the construction of the Taylor Swift Industrial Complex but there’s still something odd and compelling to me about the fact that she never once went back to visit the supposed best friend Britany whose wedding is the impetus for the visit chronicled here. Maybe it means nothing! She did have kind of a busy decade, and things happen. Time passes faster than you’re ever expecting it to and the ten years between sixteen and twenty six are particularly slippery ones. Maybe! Or maybe Taylor Swift left that pre-fame life coolly in the dust, useless to her now, and doesn’t think of it at all except to clinically mine for content. Maybe Britany only had Taylor in her wedding because if you can get Taylor Swift to come, with a Vogue writer in tow, be your maid of honor, it would be difficult to resist the temptation not to do it, like, for the bit, and for probably a really expensive gift. Maybe the truth is more like a little bit of both. Regardless, there’s this proto-”seven” passage.

During a car ride earlier in the day, she excitedly pointed out landmarks: the creek where she and Britany used to play as kids; a weathered tree house in the front yard of the former Maack family home; the piney woods she and her friends used to think were haunted

Could be that Britany was the inspiration for the friend with the dad whose always mad in that dreamy piano track, but if pressed I’d put my money on Taylor just being enamored of the romantic americana of dirty children clamoring over creek beds full of ghosts, and unfortunately I can’t begrudge her that because same.

Every image from when Taylor did that Soft Focus Harley Quinn thing last year while in the throes of her full court press media blitz about how she is not only not a nazi but also Loves Gays, is to me an unbearable agony, a ruthless torment, a knife in my back, a stitch in my side, a terror I can’t unsee, a silent scream I can’t get out, but I find this one from Entertainment Weekly most upsetting of all. I am not saying that it is illegal to sit in the dirt wearing a pink and blue matching argyle sweater and short shorts combo with dumb dip-dyed hair and then not come out as bi, even, but I am saying abolish prisons for everyone except Taylor Swift, who should be in one.

This goofy goth photo shoot from 2017 is one thing, but the really important historical detail to note here is that UK Vogue, clearly absolute limp-wristed freaks, agreed to run these photos accompanied not by an interview with their covers star, but with a fucking poem she wrote. While I do think a poem in place of a proper profile is actually less morally objectionable than the famous person-”interviewed”-by-other famous person trend that’s eaten up so much of celebrity journalism, it’s still not really something a reasonable person can condone. If you have never read the poem... I actually think it’s not that bad! But, honestly, when I was sixteen I volunteered myself to edit my high school’s litmag (in order to be given a little money to have a litmag) and to my great surprise, having really assumed that I was basically just going to have, like, my own writing and some weird slightly, porny drawings from the anime club, shortly found myself inundated with piles of the most truly awful poetry ever produced, and was left to judge it all myself, and I believe the experience scarred my mind so badly that I still have great difficulty determining a good poem from a bad one with any clarity. “Hold on to childlike whims and moonlight / swims and your blazing self-respect” definitely would have made it into The Knightwriter, is all I’m saying.

When I am on my death bed, reeking and gasping, alive only technically, my family will gather close to provide comfort and receive my last words, hoping that they can offer me a sense of peace before the darkness falls. “Bring me my darling,” I’ll rasp, then choke on the air. And when nervous human children of my lineage are pressed to the bedside I’ll shake my head painfully, no, no, no, until finally they bring to me the one thing I truly love: this picture of Taylor Swift wearing a Blue Oyster Cult t-shirt in a 2015 Lucky Magazine photo shoot, for some reason.