#...12 hours after ive been posting the others...
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Goretober Day 8: Xray
Sorry bro your skeletons fucking weird
#wow no content warning!!#ITS 11:42 IM STILL GOOD#deciding to do a comic + not having a backlog all on my *busiest day of the week*#probably not a good idea. but its in.#...12 hours after ive been posting the others...#oh well#comic#my art#eddsworld#ew tom#ew edd#i Will be making a bonus for this its just. you know. 11:45.#poweredd#monster tom#i fucking LOVE toms face in the 2nd page last panel#who give a shit#also lmao no content warnings#legit couldnt think of one#bones??? are bones a content warning???????#crisisgoretober2024#time: here we are
338 notes
·
View notes
Text
Wrote this translation of Koujaku's bad end character song (Tears by Kanako Itou) for my own fun
my notes:
1: 逢う au: atypical kanji for meet; this one's used mostly for dates/meetings between (secret) lovers
2: 抱いて daite: to hold closely/embrace, usually your lover
3: 華 hana: atypical kanji for flower; particularly associated with splendor, brilliance, showiness
#dramatical murder#shitbox translated#shitboxposting#'unfulfillable feelings' means unrequited feelings but i thought that was clear enough as is & wanted it to match the other verse#didnt like the translation on the wiki so i took my own stab. ive been listening to this song on loop for about 2 hours now#this kind of post is how you know im Cooked#guy who has a marked history of abnormal feelings about vampires & werewolves voice: koujaku bad ending had me feeling a kind of way ngl#playing dmmd after touchstarved is so fun cos im like oh this was an Influence. ais say hello to ur uncle koujaku you take after him#i just thought 'koujaku shouldve had more good ending content where he bites us' & then i remembered ais exists. so. good morning everyone#shitbox being a raging faggot again. more at 12#dmmd
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
a production company I thought I kinda liked just posted a lineup of literally 10 white men and no others on the lineup like please. why. it could've been such a cool event but I'm not paying to go to an event with 10 white men as paid performers I'm not giving fucking 10 white men my money fuck that
#t#another post in THE DENVER EDM SCENE IS AN INCESTUOUS HELLHOLE OF CIS WHITE MEN SUCKING EACH OTHERS DICKS series#im pmsing so i commented a sassy thing on the lineup post...#i wrote: sausage fest of a lineup#like it couldve been a cool event but its like 5 men promoting 10 men and im doneeeeee#journal post#oh im not pmsing#my period started literally probably when i wrote that comment lmao#omg jeff needs to FINISH chores like starting them and not finishing is the bane of my existence today#i cant use the sink its full of dishes bc he didnt emptt the dishwasher for 3 days (still waiting so its 3days and counting)#i need to wash my period underwear but he left his clothes in the washer overnight#like dude please just dont stop the chore halfway so i can like use my appliances wtffff#and he had (is currently in) a 2 hour meeting this morning so he cant do anything until after that like you just fucked me over so badly#with airheadedness not malice#hes just being dumb / he's neurodivergent and wont admit it or employ any coping mechanisms to help him co.#**complete tasks#dumb tags#ughhh#the cramps are getting soo bad and he knows i wake up early and need breakfast esp when i get my period#like weve been together 10 years#and rhere are no dishes available to make breakfast in so im dying ive been awake for 4 hours and only had coffee#i can only eat potatoes without throwing up on the first day of my period its been this way since i was 12#i have constantly experimented and tried different things but if im not on birth control like now i will throw up if its not potatoes#wish it wasnt that way but i need a pan to make potatoes#i also didnt water the garden like i become ILL on the first day of my period and everything is a mess and not prepared#so im just going to suffer more today bc i have no dishes or period underwear bc the appliances are full bc jeff didnt empty them#i do most of the dishes he just empties the dishwasher so i refuse to do his one tiny chore
0 notes
Text
hop on | m.s. |
matt sturniolo x fem!reader



summary: a dare is just a dare, until it isn't. until your breath hitches in your throat. until your body stirs with need. until your drunk mind blurs the line between dare and desire.
warnings: smut; established friendship; unprotected p in v; oral (f receiving); fingering; handjob; teasing; dirty talk; cream pie; mentions of alcohol; 18+
notes: for my matt girls since ive been non-stop posting my chris series. honestly even though ive been spending so much time writing ab chris im currently in a matt era (THE BEARD THE BEARD OH MY FUCKING GOD) so this one shot is as much for me as it is for u lmao. love u all so so so much!! ps no ftb chapter tonight but will post one very soon!! <333
─ ⊹ ⊱ ��� ⊰ ⊹ ─
The triplet’s house was buzzing around you — tipsy chattering, loud music, and the sound of cans cracking open creating the familiar symphony of a party. You felt lighter than usual — likely from both the alcohol in your system and the pleasure of the night so far. After years of being close friends with the triplets, you had attended many of their parties. But tonight something felt different. Not in a very prominent way, but there was a certain energy lingering in the air. Something so subtle you couldn’t quite decipher it, but its presence was noticeable enough to cause a strange fluttering in your stomach.
Your phone read 12:58, and the party was in full swing. There were people scattered all across the triplet’s main floor, but you were sitting with the triplets and a handful of your other friends, creating a loose circle around the coffee table; cluttered with empty bottles, solo cups, and a half-completed stack of Do or Drink cards. You were seated between Nick and Matt, legs tucked comfortably beneath you, cocooned in the safety of two of your closest friends. Although you were good friends with all three triplets, your relationship with Matt was different in a way that neither of you had ever tried to define.
With Nick, things were fast and funny, a friendship built on shared jokes and late-night texts full of chaotic gossip. Chris had always brought the noise. Startlingly magnetic and charming, he had a habit of tossing you into the middle of whatever absurd plans he came up with. But Matt. He was the one who would stand beside you at a crowded event and lean down to ask if you needed air, and then lead you out into the quiet like he already knew the answer.
Over the years, your friendship with him had blossomed into something easy. That rare kind of comfort that never needed to be tended to or explained. You trusted him without effort. You could be with him for hours, half-watching a movie or each reading a book, and not feel the need to fill the air with chatter. Matt never asked you to perform, never made you feel like you couldn’t just be yourself.
As Nick had his turn picking up a card and completing the dare, you reached for your drink — feeling the warmth of the rum as it spread through you. Your eyes were hazy, your limbs were lose, and your mind was numbed by the night spent drinking. Matt noticed, and with a quiet chuckle, took the drink from your hand and placed it on the coffee table — not wanting you to overdo it.
“Your turn, Y/n.” Chris called out from his place across from you, grabbing your attention with his signature charming, bordering on dirty, smile. You offered him a lazy smile of your own before pushing yourself forward to reach a card. “It’s a red card.” You muttered, flicking the card and letting it land haphazardly on the ground before leaning forward again to grab a card from the shorter, though more intimidating pile. As soon as you read the dare on the red card, a squeak escaped your lips. “What does it say?” Prodded Nick, leaning over your shoulder to catch a glimpse of the card. You watched his eyes travel across the phrase before widening as he released a taunting cackle. “Have fun with that, diva.”
“What is it?” Whined Chris, reaching across the coffee table for the card. Rolling your eyes, you held the card away from him before grabbing the rum and coke that Matt had taken from you moments before. Taking a quick chug, you read from the card. “Sit on the lap of the person to your right for the rest of this round.” The circle buzzed with laughter, all eyes scanning between you and the person to your right — who just happened to be Matt. You turned to look at him with a nervous laugh, and his gaze caught onto yours before he offered a quick shrug. He adjusted himself on the couch, widening his legs slightly before softly patting his lap with a smile. “Hop on,” He encouraged, his tone nonchalant as though it was the most normal thing in the world for the two of you to do.
You hesitated for a brief moment, feeling the pressure of ten pairs of eyes burning into you. Matt offered you a reassuring smile and jerked his head to the side to encourage you over to him. Before you could lose your nerve, you shifted, turning to face him as you placed your hand on his shoulder for balance. He didn’t move from under your touch — just shot an exaggerated raised-brow look at Chris from over your shoulder as he leaned back to make more space for you. Your knee brushed his thigh as you straddled him — the circle erupting into obnoxious hollers once you did.
Your weight hovered over his lap, one of your hands braced on the back of the couch to keep you from making complete contact with his waist. Even still, you felt the heat radiating from his body into yours — causing an unfamiliar feeling begin to rise in your chest. As soon as your body settled, his hand moved almost instinctively to your outer thigh — settling against your bare skin without a thought. Your eyes shifted down to his face, but thankfully he was already adjusted to your new position and was back to having a conversation with the person to his right as though nothing abnormal was occurring on top of him.
The circle eased back into normal motion around you, comfortable chatter flooding your ears as you joined in on the conversation with Matt and his friend. You tried to shift subtly, your weight adjusting forward slightly to hover just enough to avoid fully sinking into him without making your awkwardness obvious. You attempted to ease your hips back, then forward again, searching for a position that felt less intimate — but it seemed useless. You risked another sideways glance, and he was still leaning back, gaze fixed on his friend as he casually maintained a lighthearted conversation while sipping his drink.
You swallowed hard, wishing you were still holding your own drink, before shifting your hips one last time — just slightly, barely more than a twitch — when his hand suddenly squeezed your thigh. Still, he said nothing; showed you nothing. But you felt the faintest pause in his breath — not enough to draw attention, but enough to make your skin hum. Enough to make you aware of the heat of his palm. You did your very best to follow suit — to laugh along with your friends and stay focused on the group — though the unfamiliar flutter of tension within you was ever-present.
“Your turn, dumb fuck.” Said Nick, his voice bellowing over everyone’s jumbled conversations as he flicked Matt in the arm. Matt’s attention was finally pulled back to the game, and with a deep inhale he shifted slightly under you, reaching for a card. His movement forced you a little closer to him — closer than you meant to be. You tried not to react beyond wrapping your arms around his neck to keep your balance, but the motion of him beneath you sparked something strange within your centre.
You craned your neck to watch him draw, brows raising when he pulled a card just like the one you had a moment before — a red card. With a sigh he pulled a card from the second deck, and when he turned it over you both seemed to read it at the same time — your bodies freezing in unison. The circle was buzzing with anticipatory silence for a moment, before Nick reached over with a huff, yanking the card from Matt’s grasp to read it for himself. After one final moment of silence, Nick’s excited shriek made your cheeks redden.
“Kiss the girl closest to your left!” He read from the card as you and Matt shot one another uncertain glances. Not only did you happen to be the only girl playing the game, but you were definitely the one closest to his left considering you were literally straddling his lap. The circle erupted. Some people broke into laughter, some gave a few cheers. One who sounded an awful lot like Chris gave a dramatic ooooh as though you were all back in high school. You scoffed, feigning near-confidence as you looked over your shoulder. “You’re a child, Chris.”
But your voice came out thinner than you had wanted it to. You felt a prickle of heat rush to your face from the sheer embarrassment of the many laughs and gazes sent your way. “Hey, rules are rules,” Chris remarked from his place across from you, “You had to sit in his lap, now he has to kiss you. Sounds like the circle of life or some shit to me.” You rolled your eyes as you turned back to face Matt, preparing another witty comeback as you did — except Matt was already looking up at you. Calm, unbothered; with that usual glint in his tipsy eyes.
“Well,” He began casually, keeping his voice low, “We should probably get it over with if we don’t want them to start chanting.” You let out a nervous laugh, feeling as though you had entered an alternate dimension over the last fifteen minutes. “God forbid,” You muttered, doing your best to control your breathing as you smiled down at him. The moment stretched for what felt like hours. You knew that everyone was still watching, and you felt crushed under the pressure combined with crippling anticipation.
You could tell that Matt was just as uncertain as you were — you could see it in the way his cheeks had turned a slightly brighter shade of pink, could feel it in the way his chest rose and fell rapidly against your own — though he seemed much more capable of maintaining his cool-guy decorum. So you sat perfectly still, waiting for him to get his dare over with as though you were just another spectator. After cracking you one final smile, he tapped your thigh softly before whispering, “Come here.”
It wasn’t romantic. It wasn’t loaded. It just sounded like a simple request from one friend to another. So you didn’t hesitate before leaning down — heart nearly jumping out of your throat. When your lips eventually met his, you froze — just for a second — at the sheer newness of it. It was soft, quick, but also impossibly intimate. You were in shock from feeling Matt’s lips press delicately, cautiously against your own. But the shock quickly dissipated once you recognized that it was exactly the kind of kiss you’d give someone in response to a drinking game — a kiss by definition alone, but more like a shared breath than anything else.
He seemed to have frozen beneath you as well. His frame still. The circles he had been haphazardly drawing against your thigh coming to an abrupt stop as your closed lips pressed against his. On its face, it was an innocent kiss. One meant to last only a second or two before ending in a fit of awkward laughter between two friends who could look back on the moment in five years and think nothing of it.
But it lingered. Just for a second, but long enough for the undercurrent between you two to shift.
You finally allowed yourself to relax into his lap, no longer feeling the need to hover above him. His thumb resumed its gentle movements against your thigh, as though drawing you closer to him. You were suddenly very aware of how close you were to him, how warm he felt — and how much you liked it. The kiss was still soft, though there was a rumble of energy building between you both that was threatening to boil over.
Matt pulled back for a breath, but when you opened your eyes, he was still watching you. His expression was no longer nonchalant, no longer playful. His dilated eyes dropped to your mouth, and for a moment neither of you moved a muscle. Something was happening. You could both feel it, and you were equally powerless to it. So when he leaned back into you again, you met him with a sigh of relief.
His free hand immediately slid to your waist, pulling you in closer. His lips parted hungrily against yours, deepening the kiss with a quiet eagerness that made your whole body tremble. You responded to him without a thought; your mouth opened to mesh with his, the kiss growing deeper. You allowed yourself to melt completely into his lap, stifling a gasp at the feeling of his growing hardness already evident through his jeans. As he tilted his head to devour you completely, your hands slipped into his wavy hair — fingers threading through the base of the strands and pulling him closer to you without even realizing.
He responded by exhaling through his nose in that intoxicatingly masculine way. His hands were buried in your thighs, fingers curling greedily against the plush skin before sliding beneath the hem of your mini skirt; exploring the hidden skin before guiding your hips to roll just once against his front. The shaky breath you released from the sensation caused you to break the kiss, but he leaned forward and searched for your lips once more like he couldn’t help it.
Once his mouth engulfed yours once more, the kiss was hungrier; even more sure than before. A gasp fell from your lips as one of his hands slid up your back, pressing your chest against his so that no space remained between your needy bodies. As a breathy moan fell from your lips at the way his hand wrapped possessively around your throat, you were aware that your other friends were still watching. But, you no longer cared. As your panties flooded with moisture from the heat of his cock pressing against you, all you could think about was the delicious, dizzying satisfaction of tasting someone for the first time — someone you knew so well, but never like this.
He murmured your name against your lips, voice hoarse. You couldn’t even reply — capable of little more than to kiss him harder. Your fingers gripped his shirt as if that could ground you; as if the only thing real anymore was the way he was touching you, holding you, breathing you in possessively like he’d needed this much longer than either of you realized. You felt that need, too. Making your thoughts melt away, caring very little about anything besides the pull you knew you were both feeling. The overwhelming pull that had started as a party game dare and was now spiralling into something neither of you could stop.
After what felt like hours of bliss, the kiss broke slowly, like neither of you really wanted it to. You couldn’t help but let your lips linger against his, your breath catching when he didn’t move right away. Your faces hovered close, foreheads brushing with each needy gasp for air. His fingers still rested on your hip firmly as though he wasn’t quite ready to let you go. Neither of you spoke — you didn’t have to.
“Well that was…thorough.” Chris’s voice, laced with wavering uncertainty, could be heard from behind you. The room around you was still buzzing — cheers and laughter spewing from everyone in the circle — but it had fallen into a dull backdrop. The only thing that you were capable of hearing in that moment was your own heartbeat and the sound of Matt’s breath; still uneven against your mouth. You looked at him — into his glazed over eyes. He looked at you. And in an instant something passed between you — something wordless, something electric, something final.
Without saying anything, Matt shifted beneath you, one arm slipping under your legs and the other wrapped tightly around your back. You gasped softly as he lifted you off of the couch — his movements weren’t rough, but they were rushed and fuelled with an urgency you had never seen in him before. You didn’t question anything, didn’t say a word, even as the circle of your friends began chanting and gasping at what even they knew was about to happen. You only wrapped an arm around his tense shoulders, letting your fingers slide through his hair as he carried you through the house in the direction of his bedroom.
Your heart was really pounding now. Not from surprise but from the sudden, dizzying realization that you two were about to cross a line you had never even come close to approaching before. The faces of party-goers blurred past you in streaks as you travelled down what suddenly felt like an endless hallway, the party growing more and more silent as you approached the bedroom until the only sounds you could recognize were his steady footsteps and the soft rustle of your breath against his chest.
Once you reached his bedroom, Matt nudged the door open seamlessly with one foot; the hinges creaking faintly acting as a reminder of what’s to come. Dim light spilled only from a lamp on his bedside table, his fully drawn blinds restricting any moonlight from entering the room. He set you down with the same careful urgency he’d carried you — with his hands still holding your hips, searching eyes still fixed on yours like they were tethered. You looked up at him through your lashes, lips parted, your breath shallow, your heart beating out of your chest. Matt’s thumb brushed softly against your cheek, then traced the line of your jaw before resting gently against your throat.
Your breath was shallow, heart still rattling from the kiss that had pulled you both off the couch and into motion. The intensity of the moment suddenly crashed down on you as you let your eyes drift over his room — a room you had spent plenty of time in yet never in this way; never with this feeling of trepidation burning through your veins. You forced yourself to take in a deep, steadying breath. The air smelled faintly like him — clean laundry, cedar, something comforting and unmistakably his. It helped relax your mind, and when you turned your attention back to him, he was watching you.
Not with that unreadable ease he had worn throughout the night — but with something even quieter. More careful, and more aware. His jaw was tight, and in his eyes, that familiar calm had frayed slightly at the edges; replaced by a flicker of hesitation and a much more powerful desire. “Y/n,” He breathed out, as though your name was the only thing he was certain of in that moment. His eyes fluttered shut as he took another step towards you, and you simply swallowed, not trusting your ability to speak quite yet.
His movements were slow and deliberate, but when he reattached his hands to your waist, you melted into his touch. When he used his grip to slowly push you back until your knees hit his desk, you didn’t resist. And when his mouth attached to yours once more, you didn’t even consider pulling away. In fact, you found yourself leaning into him reverently, chasing the heat building between you two. His kiss was intoxicatingly slow, and each pass of his lips against yours lingered like he was drinking in the taste of you. But that restraint only lasted so long, because the moment you let out the faintest broken sound against his lips, something in him shifted.
His hands tightened at your waist, and like a wave crashing through you both, all of the built up tension of the night snapped into motion. There was no longer space for caution in that room, humid with lust. His mouth was suddenly hot and unrelenting against yours, but very quickly your lips fell into a rhythm that felt maddening and necessary all at once. His hands found your thighs and lifted you slightly, powerfully, to seat you on his desk without breaking the kiss. You expressed your approval by hooking your ankles around his waist to pull him closer, and he replied by kissing you harder, deeper; his hands massaging your thighs.
Your kiss had turned rushed and greedy, as though you were making up for every wasted second you had not touched one another in this way. You tugged at the collar of his shirt, drawing him impossibly closer like it was a need; like the closeness was the only thing anchoring you to the desk. He groaned into your kiss, the sound a deliciously rough vibration in your chest. He pressed himself into you, the edge of the desk digging into the back of your bare legs — but you didn’t care. You could barely feel anything beyond his hands, hot and insistent, sliding under your shirt and over the smooth expanse of your skin like he’d been dying to explore you for years.
His fingers delicately skimmed your skin, slowly at first. But then he pulled the thin fabric of your shirt up higher, over your ribs, and once you let your head fall and your back arch into his touch, he bent to kiss the strip of exposed skin just below your bra. You inhaled sharply from the contact, the feeling of his breath against your body. His hands snaked behind you to undo your bra, and once the clips were undone, he bit down gently on your ribs — not hard, just enough to make you squirm — before meeting your eyes. His pupils were blown wide, chest rising and falling as if he just ran a marathon. “This is real, right?” The question fell from his lips genuinely, and you nodded, breath caught somewhere between a moan and a gasp from the sight of him looking up at you in that way, “Don’t stop.”
That was all the assurance he needed, because once the words left your mouth, he wasted no time before tugging your shirt over your head and tossing it aside. Not even a second later your bra followed, and then his hands were on you again — palming your full tits, thumbs brushing indulgently against you pebbled nipples until you arched into him in pleasure. He kissed you again, and this time it wasn’t just lips. Teeth, tongue, desperation flicked hungrily into your mouth. You pulled back, catching your breath only for a moment before dragging his shirt off with shaking hands.
Your mouth trailed down the line of his neck, biting softly at his shoulder and tasting the salt of his skin. An intoxicating hiss fell from his lips in response, and he gripped your hips even tighter than before; grinding against you until you were both groaning from the faint relief it granted. The need between you was quickly growing all-consuming and relentless. Every movement felt like it might push you over the edge, yet beneath the desperate touches and needy kisses, neither of you wanted to rush. You wanted to feel every moment of what was to come.
Your breath hitched when his fingers suddenly trailed between your legs, teasing you through the thin fabric barrier of your lace panties; slow and deliberate. He pulled your lips back into his own, swallowing your breathy moans and pants as your hips rolled against his hand; wordless and pleading. He grunted once his thumb pressed against your core — its hot and sticky wetness evident even through the fabric. “You’re soaked,” He breathed, sounding almost astonished at your body’s subconscious desire for him. You bit his lip gently in response, growing even more needy from the barely-there contact. “Then stop teasing, p-please.”
The pathetic whine in your voice must have been enough to grab his attention, because he didn’t hesitate before pressing his hand firmly against your clit, fingers working in steady, maddening circles. He pressed his forehead against yours and watched through hooded lids as you writhed under his touch. Your movements were purely instinct now, chasing the rhythm of his fingers as they flicked expertly against your bundle of nerves. Your moans were hushed but relentless, and they fell from your lips without you even realizing it.
When he finally slid your panties down and off, he buckled at the knees and followed the motion with his open mouth. As you tugged your skirt up over your waist, he kissed the inside of your thigh, then again, closer — until your breath caught completely. Your gaze had followed him down to the floor, and you watched as he spread your legs wider, encouraging each of your feet to rest on the desk so that you were fully exposed to him. Even with his eyes burning into your core, there was no insecurity, no urge to snap your legs shut and run away; there was just an intense desire for more once his blue eyes flickered up to you. And in an instant, without breaking the filthy eye contact, his swollen lips parted and he was tasting you.
You cried out — sharp, involuntary — and clutched the edge of the desk. Your thighs trembled on either side of his head as his expert tongue found the rhythm you craved. It flicked relentlessly against your swollen clit, as his mouth sucked and slurped indulgently; the audible sound of his eager movements exotic to your ears. “M-Matt,” You whined, your hips bucking from the overwhelming pressure already beginning to bottle in the pit of your stomach. The sound seemed to charge him, because with a grunt of approval he snaked a hand around your waist, pinning your hips to the desk while the other hand slid up your body — cupping your tit as his fingers toyed with your sensitive nipple.
You rolled your hips against his face, chasing a high that was fast approaching as he moaned against your clit in approval. Your fingers laced through his hair, burying his face in between your legs greedily. He caught your bundle of nerves in between his lips, giving it one last tight swirl before releasing his suction and flattening his tongue against your heat — letting you ride his face feverishly as he looked up at you through hooded lids. Your moans were growing more guttural, more raw. You didn’t care that it was too much; that neither of you had talked about this. The only thing that seemed to matter to you in that moment was the pressure building deep within you, the heat of his tongue against your writhing folds, and the desire to let go of it all.
All in an instant, you fell apart. Thighs trembling, you gave into your orgasm with his name on your lips. Every part of you began unraveling under his mouth and he groaned at the sight. Your hips bucked wildly and your legs nearly gave out. Noticing this, Matt reattached himself to your clit and helped guide you through your high, letting you feel everything all at once. “Good girl,” He breathed against your skin, his voice thick with lust and ten octaves lower than usual as he coached you through the waves of your orgasm.
Your limbs were still shaking, your breathing still ragged, when he pulled himself back to his feet and lifted you up off of the desk. You were limp in his arms, yet somehow still so alive with desire as he carried you to his bed. You landed against the sheets with a soft gasp, your skin flushed and tingling from the pleasure still radiating through you. He stood over you for just a brief moment, savouring the sight of you — tangled hair, cheeks flushed, and eyes wide with the same mix of longing and desire that mirrored his own.
He climbed onto the bed, hovering above you. His lips were glistening from your arousal, and the sight made you pull him down to you, kissing him fiercely, desperately; tasting your sweetness on his tongue as you claimed it. His touch was everywhere — your thighs, waist, the curve of your back — each movement of his fingers leaving you more and more undone. The bedsheets twisted beneath you as you shifted, your bodies fitting together with reckless precision. Your leg hitched over his hip, his lips hummed in approval.
The kiss was like a fire — rough edges and breathless sounds and the sharp sting of need radiating between you both feeding it like oxygen to a spark. Your mouths turned urgent and he kissed you deeper, his teeth ragged against yours. The room seemed to shrink around you, and all you could feel was the warmth of his mouth and the weight of his body above you. “We should stop,” Matt murmured against your lips, his words strained. “I know,” You replied in a broken whisper, but your hand was already tugging at his waistband, and his own hand came down to help you unzip his jeans.
Your hands found the heat of his cock like a moth to a flame, gasping at the weight of it against your fingers. A gruff moan fell from his lips as you gathered the bead of pre-cum at its tip, using the fluid to begin stroking his length slowly, tauntingly. “Matt,” You breathed against his lips, the tone of your voice encouragement and warning all at once. His body trembled above you, lips trailing across your face until they brushed against your ear; his breath warm and slow as he whispered, “Tell me what you want, please,”
Your breath caught at the question, at the way his voice cracked just slightly at the end like he was barely holding himself together. His restraint only made you want him more. The ache between your legs deepened. “I want you,” You whispered, threading your fingers through his hair as your other hand continued its slow, deliberate stroke, “I want you inside me. Want you to ruin me.”
His groan was low and guttural, reverberating through your chest like a struck chord. For a moment, he pressed his forehead against yours, his eyes squeezed shut like he was praying for strength — or maybe forgiveness. Then he kissed you, hard. Everything moved quickly now, you both grew careless with desire. He knelt between your spread thighs, and when he hissed your name into your mouth, you felt it everywhere. Still, even in his desperation, he paused just long enough to search your eyes again. “You’re sure?” He asked, breathless. You nodded, without hesitation and instead with impatience, “Please, Matt.”
And that was it. He guided himself to your slick entrance, one hand bracing beside your head, the other guiding your leg up around his waist. The stretch of him as he pushed inside was blinding — a fullness that made you gasp and claw at his back, made your head roll into the pillows as your body adjusted — trembling. He held still once he had buried himself to the hilt inside of you, his chest pressed to yours. And in the silence that followed, you heard everything else. The sound of your own ragged breath, the pounding of your hearts, the tiny involuntary whimper that left your lips as your walls pulsed around him.
“Fuck,” He cursed, breathing for what seemed like the first time since sliding into you, “You feel — Jesus, you feel good.”
You arched into him instinctively, your hips lifting from the mattress, urging him to move. And when he finally did — slow, dragging strokes that made your eyes roll back — the room shifted around you. There was nothing but the press of his body, the glide of his cock, the sharp sounds you made as he drove into you with aching reverence.
You clung to him, nails dragging down his spine, and he gripped your thigh tighter in response — deepening the angle. The friction hit something devastating inside of you, and a sharp cry fell from your lips; your whole body bucking beneath him. “That’s it,” He whispered against your electric skin, “That’s my girl. Let me hear you.”
Your lips found his neck, biting down to muffle a moan. He was getting rougher now, more desperate. Each thrust sent ripples through your body, your thighs clenching around his hips as his name spilled from your lips again and again. And still, between the heat and sweat and desire, there was a tenderness. His thumb brushed your cheek on its way to your mouth, his lips found your forehead, your temple, your jaw — soft touches that reminded you of the person beneath all of the wanting.
Even so, that wanting remained, sharp and persistent. It pulled at you both like a tide. He stilled for a moment, breath caught on a curse, and you looked up at him — panting, eyes wide, the sudden loss of friction a jolt of cold against the heat you had built. He didn’t speak at first. Just looked at you, all wrecked and radiant. Then, ran a hand down the length of your side, slow and reverent. “Turn over,” He said, voice low and thick with lust, like gravel coated in honey, “On your knees.”
Your body moved before your mind had a chance to catch up, instinct guiding your limbs as you turned and braced yourself on your knees, back arched and chest pressed against the comforter. You felt him behind you, his weight shifting on the bed, the heat of him returning as he settled in close and slid his hands over your ass; spreading you open with a groan like he was praying at the altar of your body. “Fuck,” he muttered under his breath, “You’re unreal like this.”
He guided himself to you again, teasing, his tip gliding against your folds with aching precision. Your back arched in response, seeking him, wanting him back inside of you with a need so strong it bordered on desperate. “Please,” You whispered, and the word came out broken by lust.
When he finally slid back in, the angle was impossibly deeper. It made you choke on your own gasp, your arms trembling beneath you. He stilled for a moment, both of you suspended in that blinding relief, before he pulled back and set a rhythm that was measured at first, then faster, deeper — until the sound of skin filled the room, slick and obscene, loud enough for the rest of the house to surely hear.
One of his hands slid under you, cupping your tit and pulling you back into him. His other hand gripped your hip so tightly you knew it would bruise. Each sharp thrust, even deeper now, sent sparks flying behind your eyes, inside of your stomach. Your voice was reduced to breathless whines and moans that sounded less than human. And then — too suddenly — his length slipped out of you. A sharp, wet sound. The loss hit you with a startled gasp, your body clenching down on nothing from the loss of contact.
You looked back at him — dazed, needy — and he met your gaze with a crooked, breathless grin. Thick with heat and demand. “Find it,” He rasped.
It was filthy, the way you arched back further without hesitation, the way your hand slid between your legs to guide him — slick and swollen — back where you needed him. Your breath hitched when he pressed forward again, filling you inch by inch as you pushed your hips back into his. Both of you groaned at the full-body relief of re-connection.
“Good girl,” He muttered, voice unsteady as he sank back in, his hands tightening on your waist, “Now fuck yourself on me.”
Again, your body answered without deliberation. The dirty sound of wet skin against skin filled the room as your hips lifted and fell in a slow, deliberate rhythm, each movement pressing him deeper inside of you. The slick of your arousal made each glide seamless, every bounce a sharp, delicious friction that sent shivers down your spine.
Your breath hitched in ragged gasps, mixing with the low, guttural groans spilling from his lips. His fingers curled into the flesh of your hips, warm and firm, guiding your movements as waves of pleasure threatened to pull you under. Your arms threatened to give out, and almost immediately he noticed and looped one arm around your waist; holding you in place as he fucked you from behind with deliberate, punishing thrusts — each one angled to make you cry out his name.
You were so close it scared you. So close to crumbling it felt like your body would fracture from the pleasure. Caught up in all of it — the filthy sounds, the sweat-slick bodies, the way his pulsing cock hit you just right again and again — you weren’t sure you could survive it. As if reading your mind, Matt’s hips stuttered and a ragged moan fell from his lips. “Come for me again baby,” He whispered, voice gritty, “Let me feel you fall apart.”
And when you did, it was wild and helpless. A tidal wave that crashed through your body with an overwhelming force you couldn’t contain. Your walls clenched and trembled, fingers digging into the sheets as your delirious moans fell ragged from your mouth. A shudder rolled through you from your core to the tips of your toes, leaving your nerve endings raw and exposed. Your body quivered uncontrollably, alight with bright white fire, as the waves of pleasure pulsed through you like a train you had no hope of outrunning.
He straightened your limp frame, holding you close against his front. His hips rolled in frantic, desperate thrusts that kept you pinned to him; every movement sending fresh sparks of sensation racing through your overwhelmed nervous system. His moans — deep, rough, drenched in need — fell into the hollow curve of your shoulder. They vibrated against your skin and anchored you in the chaos of his impending release.
As if on cue, he moaned. “Fuck, Y/n, g—gonna cum.”
You could feel the sticky heat of him pulsing inside of you, hot pressure that spilled from him with each shuddering breath he took. His arms cinched around your waist as if by holding you tight he could somehow contain the rippling pleasure crawling down his spine. The steady rhythm of his heart thudding beneath his chest echoed through your own pounding pulse, a shared beat that held you together even as your bodies trembled with both pleasure and exhaustion.
Eventually, he slowed. His thrusts became shallow, then still, until the only movement was the heave of his chest against your back. He let out a long breath, almost a sigh, and then pressed a slow, grateful kiss to your shoulder. When he pulled out, the absence was strange. You felt empty. The room was suddenly very quiet, save for the hum of distant voices through the walls and the sound of your breaths trying to find their rhythm again.
He collapsed onto the bed with a grunt, arm flung over his face, chest rising and falling. You lay next to him in the warm hush, every inch of you tingling, your skin damp and flushed. Somewhere outside, someone laughed too loud. Music played through the walls, muffled.
“Jesus,” He muttered, arm still covering his face, “We were not quiet.”
You let out a breathless, incredulous laugh, “Yeah, I unfortunately just realized that, too.”
He turned his head, pushed his arm away to glance at you. His mouth curved, sheepish and amused in lethargy that only sex could grant. “There is no chance we can go out there and pretend this didn’t happen.” You stretched a little, the soreness delicious and immediate. “We walked out of the living room like we were about to devour each other, and then we literally did. Loudly.” You rolled onto your side to face him, “I think our friends are smart enough to put two and two together there.”
He groaned and dragged a hand down his face, though he couldn’t hide the smile of contentment. “Nick’s never gonna let me live it down. And Chris’s gonna tell me he recorded from the other side of the door or some weird shit.” You laughed, rolling your eyes at his unfortunate accuracy. “I’ll kill him.” You replied, winking to soften the words. He exhaled through a laugh, then turned toward you completely; propping himself up on one elbow. “I mean…we could go back out. Pretend we were just—”
“What?” You interrupted, “Having an aggressively emotional conversation with the door locked and the bed creaking for forty minutes?” He winced, teeth flashing. “Okay, maybe not.” You reached out, fingers brushing lightly over the flushed skin of his chest. “Honestly, I don’t really care what they think.” He blinked at you then, and something in his face shifted — less apprehensive, almost a little relieved. “Yeah,” He agreed, his voice laced with tenderness, “Me neither.”
The sound of rap music drifted in through the hallway — someone had turned the music up. Voices were growing louder, the night reaching its climax. Life kept going on, loud and hopefully oblivious, on the other side of the door. “We’ll go out in a minute,” Matt said, adjusting in the bed beside you, arm wrapping around your waist, pulling you close so that you felt his still-warm skin against yours. You didn’t answer right away. Just closed your eyes and let yourself rest there, body still humming, heart full. Unsure of what came next — but certain that you didn’t care.
─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─
#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo smut#sturniolo x reader#the sturniolo triplets#the sturniolos#matt sturniolo x you#matt sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo x reader#matthew sturniolo#matt sturniolo#matthew sturniolo x you#matthew sturniolo fanfic#matthew sturniolo smut#matthew sturniolo x reader
688 notes
·
View notes
Text
the shift in lore literacy in homestuck’s fandom
i was thinking about how the people who got into homestuck after it ended—whose interactions with the comic are in a static, archived state, not an ongoing thing—missed out on information that was more common knowledge in the fandom at that time. i don’t know if this is true since i’m not on tiktok, but i wouldn’t be surprised if it was. the fandom certainly isn’t the same as it was before.
ive found that many people reading homestuck now simply do not understand things in homestuck that were common knowledge back in the day, with calls for “homestuck literacy classes to become mandatory” in response to baffling takes because so many people just now seem to have glazed over the comic without absorbing important plot points, and i think i know why this may be. i ended up writing a post reflecting on my time with the comic, my perspective and how ive seen this change. i still think and write about homestuck because it still fascinates me. earlier i quote retweeted that call in my thread talking about the temporal relativity of dave and rose’s god tier ascension in the green sun, saying “my homestuck literacy is 100% so guess im doing my part as a teacher by pointing out whatever i think is really cool about it”. this post im writing now started out as a reply to this tweet i got in response.
i joined the fandom in 2013. i was 11. i had been aware of it since at least late 2011, early 2012 when my friend ryan in fifth grade told me to read it but i couldn’t get past the first few pages. i remember writing a journal on deviantart around this time (late 2011-early 2012) that was mocking people who typed like gamzee, which ironically was very karkat of me. and i remember someone on flipnote hatena i was following was making flipnotes with the alpha kids.
i dont know what caused me to flip the switch into reading it but 2013. i got into it somewhere between april (i think closer to april—i remember it being quite a span of time between the last update before HOMOSUCK dropped.) this was the most recent page the comic, meaning there was no > [S] ACT 6 ACT 6 at the bottom.
i got into it during a pause in updates, which looking into it, was the year 4 megapause. i wasn’t sure of the month until seeing the news post detailing the reason for the hiatus and the status report of the comic’s development at that time. pretty cool i could narrow it down by referencing the dates of those updates and the news post to correspond with the pause!
according to readmspa, the year 4 megapause was a 59 day hiatus from Apr 14, 2013 ==> (EOA6A5) running to 12 Jun 2013, [S] ACT 6 ACT 6. then for a few months there were the first updates that i was apart of the fandom for.
and what an exciting time during the story get into the webcomic! when the updates resumed in june, part 4 of homestuck had begun. here was a glimpse of the updates in that span of time before the next hiatus began in october.

that hiatus was none other than the gigapause, the longest hiatus in the comic, which started october 2013 and lasted for a YEAR, and i already posted about what happened on the date of return.
but here were the main events happening in the story at the time i first actually got interested in it. i wasn’t aware of the full context of them then like i am now, but i was looking at the most recent updates anyway with interest:
the alpha kids just emerged as god tiers from their slabs in derse and prospit, blown up by the condesce and caliborn / lil cal-possessed b2 jack noir.
the journey to the new session started 24 hours after jack called an early reckoning in descend—for context that was about when dave entered around midnight central time and before jade even entered. it’s pretty easy to forget that side 1 of homestuck basically happens within the span of a single day—and at this point in the story, the 3 year journey (which was also 3 real life years) had just ended. john and jade emerged from the other side of the yellow yard through the fenestrated plane on LOMAX. john’s real body was asleep upon arrival in the new session, while his dreaming projection out in the dream bubbles came across vriska’s ghost ship to learn lord english lore with vriska and aranea, and go on the treasure hunt where they found the ultimate weapon at the X mark out in in the furthest ring. in the dream john stuck his hand in the juju, started warping all over canon which removed his real body from the ship on LOMAX. he zapped around for a while but eventually zapped back to LOMAX, now awake, completely out of the loop of what everyone else is up to, and bored as fuck. what was everyone else getting up to while john was asleep?
jade was now once again within the domain of the green sun. im pretty sure her space god doggy essence comes with the power to sense what was anywhere within the domain of the session since her face looks like she arrived at that spot with intent (and she literally has jack noir’s exact powers from bec’s prototyping. also this panel). she immediately dispatched b2 jack to the edge of the incinisphere, defending the newly god-tiered jane and jake. i think even if they weren’t in any danger, she would have warped to them instantly anyway because she COULD now, and i can imagine she wouldve been sooooo eager to meet everyone. even davesprite comments about her rapid departure.
the pre-scratch refugees arrived during the only time serious shit ever went down in the nobles’ months-long inert void session. the condesce used her freak psychic bronze-cerulean powers to commune with jade’s bestial side and mind controlled her, which is super dangerous as someone with the powers of a first guardian. she then used jade’s powers to corrupt jane with the tiaratop. no funtime meetup allowed!
the trolls’ meteor with rose, dave, and the remaining trolls was pulling up into the new session with no way to slow it down. grimbark jade warped there once it was in the incinisphere and took active control. she warped everyone off the trolls’ meteor and sent them to LOMAX.
as john was losing his mind on LOMAX waiting for everyone, the meteor crew warped in. after 3 years he finally reunited with rose and dave, and at least saw the trolls in person. close curtains, end of A6A5. this was the newest [S] flash page at the time, one of my first impressions of this comic, and still one of my favorite flashes. knowing the context of the flash in the story only enhances the retrospective joy i have at getting into the comic at the time i did because it’s such an anticipated moment in the story for everyone, while for someone with no context of the story it was still enjoyable.
so that’s what was going on plotwise when i joined the fandom.
from this time, through those few months of updates and through the gigapause, i was familarizing myself with the characters in the story and overseeing the state of fanbase, getting myself acquainted with the story and wrapping my head around everything.
at that time i found that a new-ish group called colab HQ who were producing a let’s read homestuck series on youtube. hearing the voices and the pacing of it like that really, really eased me into it (maybe it was my adhd that gave me trouble actually starting it?). i caught up to a certain point using lets read homestuck and from that point was able to continue with the comic on my own, and by the time the gigapause came to a close i was fully caught up. i remember the rebranding of colab hq into voxus about a year and a half after i discovered them.
but.. back to the main point of my post. even these posts from hussie’s tumblr exist in archived states. how many new fans know about hussie’s old tumblr? i don’t know, unless theyre a new fan that must scour the internet for more deep more dives on homestuck and its fandom as a whole. but since hussie deleted his tumblr (it exists archived now on homestuck.net which, alongside from the unofficial homestuck collection, has nearly singlehandedly kept the most important relics of the fandom and lore archived), that page is not an active part of the fandom now, because it’s gone. it’s a pile of bones. it’s not living and breathing. it’s in an archived state. the whole thing is already there. homestuck and its fandom history is something you now binge instead of slowly consume and meld with as it comes out. it’s now this rapid information intake that you might forget about if you read it now instead of engaged alongside it. you’re not surrounded by people actively talking and theorizing about developments anymore. the ability to have those sorts of conversations during the ongoing development of the story reinforced concepts, ideas, and lore over and over as we tried to make sense of it.
being in a fandom when the author is still delivering the story is like nothing else. it allows you grow alongside the characters and engage meaningfully with the media and people in the fandom space around you. it feels like you’re participating IN the media itself, especially if you’re interfacing with the creator. it’s in always having something to theorize or talk about and speculate. and people become very aware of these sorts of forgotten story facts because they were applying the logic of the newest official post from hussie into making their sburb ocs or something and share resources and discussion posts about “what just happened in this update?? recap????” it was this cultural osmosis thing. i think this is why homestuck literacy is now at an all time low, at least from what i can see on twitter.
reading homestuck then vs now is like the difference between serialized shows with spaces between episodes to discuss stuff and time to reflect and learn and become attached to the story, narrative, worldbuilding and its characters, vs the netflix model where it’s all dropped all at once and people forget about it after binging.
at this point in time im getting the sense that “homestuck elders” now are no longer just people who were there since 2009-2010, but now also people who were there while it was still updating, probably stretching into 2014-2015. there are many sources of lore that were common knowledge in the fandom at the time that, since becoming susceptible to the deletion of content and link rot, and with the thanosing of mspaforums, are no longer accessible at the source. and a lot of people moved on after it ended, especially following the epilogues, the kate drama, and the whatpumpkin-sarah z drama, leaving a void of information behind if not for archivists and people such as me who continue to keep old facts relevant in discussions. my friend has called me a fandom scholar before and seeing this post i think i get what they mean.
EDIT: there is a series of video essays ive watched multiple times (because theyre that good) and they are exactly what modern fans need to see more of. they really help contextualize the comic and the themes present in it help you appreciate the basic fabric of homestuck a hell of a lot more. i highly recommend them and encourage any fan of homestuck to watch them, or someone considering getting into homestuck to watch the first one.
i think this is arguably as close to the “mandatory literacy class for homestuck” that person was talking about as you can get, especially the first video.
additionally, there is also the website https://rafe.name/homestuck which is essentially a sparknotes for homestuck and can help you follow developments in the comic itself.
640 notes
·
View notes
Text
beware of fang
Hey, im gonna say it outright and state that this is a call out. people get called out for being dangerous. fangs nearly pushed 3 people to commit suicide(including myself) and i had to be hospitalized because of him, so this feels justified. Im sorry if you disagree, ill keep it short and to the point If you’ve been a long time follower of his im sure you’ve seen his vague posts about his ex friends, the cotl tumblr community and “fandom drama” with little to no context behind it, other than various people appearing on his DNI. his vague nature in the posts is intentional, he doesn't want to let on that he was abusing his friends. Ive tried time and time again to write something but it never seemed right, like what he’s done to me and my friends wasn’t severe enough to warrant something like this, but it is and i don't want to let this go any longer, esp not when he has my friends, their names, usernames and literal contact information in his DNI list Over the last year ive been friends with fang hes been horrible. Hes never changed and refuses to acknowledge what hes done to his friends and how horribly he has hurt them, to keep this short im keeping this bullet pointy Here is his carrd, he has everything neatly outlined for yall to block on every platform Dont harass, dont contact. all of this is public information so https://web.archive.org/web/20240713073710/https://fanged-info.carrd.co/#boundaries
https://fanged-info.carrd.co/ Twit: FFANGEDD / narilamb_ / mewhenimsilly Insta: ffangedd / narilamb Tumblr: ffangedd / fanged-cotl / fanged-xeno Cara: narilamb Blusky: fanged / narilamb Itaku: fanged Artfight: FANGED Toyhouse: FFANGEDD Sheezy: fanged Discord & telegram: narilamb All the people mentioned have given consent Cw !!! abuse, suicide, self harm https://drive.google.com/drive/u/2/folders/1MLMOT-qvgrX-9NnUEgpl4AkEPfixy2wG
The drive is a bit out of date, as I logged it all before april. Hes posted more awful shit and vented to me again since then Feel free to request the letter i wrote to him, i might share it anyway because it sums up my thoughts on the matter If you want any additional context feel free to ask
Fang uses suicide and self harm threats to control and manipulate his friends, hes begged me for assisted suicide and when i refused to help him commit he begged in groupchats. He begged on instagram stories as well as twitter, so much so that his twitter for suspended for 12 hours. He has admitted to wanting someone to commit suicide with him and has previously formed suicide pacts and nearly followed through on one with a friend. fang backed out first. he continues to redirect blame. refusing to take accountability for his actions. He still blames his previous medications, his ex psychiatrist, his self diagnosed BPD & OCD, psychosis, and states of beings from disorders he doesn't have (claiming to be manic or sociopathic whilst not having bipolar1 or ASPD) fang blames his (ex)friends, claiming they were projecting their mental illness onto him when they were just reacting to his abuse, that they the ones in the wrong and that how they treated him/cut him off was vile and unfair, and believes that he never got real closure when he did. it just wasn't what he wanted to hear and now feels entitled to an apology from these people when all he’s ever done is traumatize and terrorize them. He describes the amount in which he has cut over pavi, wart and kat because what they put him through and how they traumatized him. The traumatizing actions were: Kat asking for a content warning, pavi didn't want to walk on eggshells anymore and blocked him without an explanation & wart blocked him after being emotionally abused for months Hes described how he would carve their names into his thigh and told me that he will carve my name into his skin when i leave too. He demanded wart and surf choose their “real friends” and cut off their community for him because fang hated that they were being “two-faced” and hanging out with “people who hate him” He would spend hours venting relentlessly and graphically in his friends DMs, demanding their time and attention and expecting immediate replies. His friends are not professionals and shouldnt be expected to be an on-call DIY therapist for him, for hours, without consent. Fang has said he is completely unwilling to self censor for other peoples safety fang has vented to a 13 year old (they were not hiding their age) He referred to me (and our friends) as a phone person, a voice, icons. Concepts he can talk. Completely dehumanizing everyone that cared about him even to their faces. He blames his ex friends for his poor mental health and has said he wishes they watched him commit suicide, he wanted his friends to be traumatized from this (as if they werent already.) When a friend posted a screenshot of a gamenight to tumblr he had a breakdown so severe and so dangerous for so long that several of his friends has to mute the DM to keep themselves safe from his verbal abuse and suicide/SH threats He doesn't care about how triggering any of this can be for someone and will subject anyone (including people in danger) to his “venting” He didnt care about triggering me and contacted me at the worst of my suicidality in january and exasperated the danger i was in so severely I had to be hospitalized against my will before I could commit suicide.
Im honestly not entirely sure what to even think. he knew the severity of my suicidality. he knew I had been hospitalized for an attempt in 2022, and still he chose me, probably the most vulnerable of his friends at the time to vent that heavily too back in janurary Hes a dangerous selfish person whos proven over and over that hes not getting better and isnt willing to change, i honestly had hope when he slowed down his graphic vent posts and victim blaming on twitter and insta but he decided to say fuck all and get right back into his shit train of shame and misery. Heres a link to all of the screenshot, damning ones are in important bitz if you’re not interested in going through them all https://drive.google.com/drive/u/2/folders/1MLMOT-qvgrX-9NnUEgpl4AkEPfixy2wG in these screens alone he: admits to sending his cuts to his friends, threatens to cut if i leave, admits that he was going to go through with a duel suicide and begged me for assisted suicide
warts screenshots v
full screenshots & complete context in the drive as for him claims that i was stalking him: i was scared, i was his friend. i tried so hard to be good enough and never was. the screens were a by product of confiding in my friends about what was happening and the drive was made to share w/ them i admit i prolly shouldve combed out some of it but, ykno also big phat apology for tagging cotl!!!!! only did bc fang has, please stay safe everyone, and thank you so much if you have read everything (the doc encase anyone was wanting it ! figured i;d just use tumblr regular posting method) https://docs.google.com/document/d/17QjXUEdQVd8c4GZS--vPo-xR3kgmoLl4ZmN3ROMutg0/edit?usp=sharing
edit as of 8:30pm 7/17/24 here is a link to pavi's response warts response and kats response
264 notes
·
View notes
Text

✶ RATING YOUR DRS ✶
⠂⠁⠈⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠂⠁⠈⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂
⋆ hogwarts 7/10 ok so I personally havent even watched harry potter but it seems awesome,, hogwarts is a classic since basically every shifter has a hogwarts dr but who wouldnt wanna learn magic ?! at the same time i also kinda dont get why you would want to shift to a school from all places ALSO CONSIDERING HOW MANY PEOPLE THERE ARE AND HOW MEAN SOME OF THE TEACHERS ARE BUT
⋆ twilight 7/10 i used to LOVE twilight when i was like 12 (confession i was team jacob ,, and lowk still am.. HES HOTTER OK DONT BLAME ME) and i LOVE the vibe,, highly depends on who youre shifting for tho (if its alice then 8/10 shes like wow)
⋆ fame 7/10 ok i keep rating everything 7 but IDK fame is good but i feel like id get bored after like a few shifts (even though i still have a fame dr) but if you know how to spice it up for yourself then good for you!! (bonus points if its set in the 70s-2000s)
⋆ mermaid 8/10 rated it an 8 instead of a 7 because i keep rating everything 7… anyways its cool but again i feel like i would get bored (unless you know how to spice it up AGAIN) i do fw mermaid more because its like magical and you can script in a forbidden fling with a human or something.. (can you tell i have commitment issues) now i want to make a mermaid dr and design my tail omg
⋆ band/music artist 8/10 as most of yall probably know i do have a band dr so how could i rate it anything lower?! anyways i love hearing about peoples band drs (or any drs for that matter but especially bands bc i can get inspo for my own teehee) i think developing everything for that dr can be super fun and putting together your little group and whatnot
⋆ apocalypse 8/10 would probably have rated this much lower if i hadnt seen those aesthetic slideshow games on tiktok where youre packing for and trying to survive an apocalypse BUT i feel like if you scripted in safety and good vibes it could be a lot of fun and now i wanna make a zombie apocalypse dr..
⋆ the backrooms 6/10 you are BOLD for that,, i get creeped out by just watching a tiktok about them (im aware that the backrooms were on my dr ideas post..) it lowkey depends who youre with because shifting there alone would actually be CRAZY..
⋆ better cr 5.5/10 i dont really get the consept of this like if i were to make a better cr i would FIRST OF ALL change basically everything and atp it wouldnt even be a better cr just a good dr ykwim and how do you come back after shifting there and not feel depressed asf😭 (update i made a better cr dr…)
⋆ heartbreak high 5.5/10 i feel like not many people have seen this show and also i dont really fw shifting to shows or movies as much as your own creations but i did like the show itself,, i honestly i wouldnt personally shift there since the vibes are like too.. like 2020 and some people are real assholes but you do you it could be super fun id actually love to know about all the drama
⋆ euphoria 6/10 idk why i like euphoria more than heartbreak high they lowkey give me the same vibe but euphoria is like a better version (i literally havent even seen this but i did watch like 2 hours worth of it from tiktok) ANYWAYS most people there are ASSHOLES too and again PERSONALLY WOULDNT WANT TO GO THERE but again would love to hear more about the drama because there must be tons of that
⋆ monster high 9/10 ok so why did i not think of this before i LOVED monster high when i was a child but im lowkey scared of shifting to an animated world idk it feels off.. the vibes and there tho love that for you
⋆ dead poets society 8/10 again personally havent watched it but from what ive heard it seems cool (that with about 200 other movies have been sitting on my watchlist for years but my commitment issues are so bad i cant commit to watching one movie so i will probably never watch it oops) anyways i want to make a secret society dr now
⋆ my little pony 7/10 oh little me would have LOVED this but again i cant with the animated drs ESPECIALLY considering you would be a PONY?? i need to know how this feels or like what.. i love mlp but honestly (tw: opinion) TWILIGHT IS SO ANNOYING I COULD NOTTTT STAND HER ASS (yes i do know id be able to script her out but i like complaining)
#reality shifting#shiftblr#shifters#shifting#shifting antis dni#shifting blog#shifting community#shifting consciousness#shifting diary#shifting script#shifting to hogwarts#shifts#shift#shifting motivation#shiftingrealities#fame dr#boarding school dr#dr s/o#small town dr#hogwarts dr#band dr#dr ideas#dr idea#desired reality#deminetly shiftblr#deminetly
82 notes
·
View notes
Text
How Far We’ve Come - Music Theory Analysis
[Disclaimer: I went to university for music as a violin primary and have the most confidence with classical strings. I passed my piano proficiency courses, but that is the extent of my piano knowledge. It has been a few years since I have done an in-depth composition analysis of any piece, let alone transcribing a piece by ear and then analyzing it. Music theory has never been my strong suit! Please excuse any mistakes in notation, and any inaccuracies in my transcription or analysis. I did my best and this was purely for fun *shaky thumbs up*]
----------------------
'How Far We’ve Come' by Harlan Guthrie is a duet between Grand Piano and Cello. This piece opens with solo piano, either in a pickup measure or in a single measure of 2/4 before transitioning to 4/4 time in measure 2. Throughout its entirety there are many moments of rubato which have been notated as ritardando and a subsequent a tempo. To most accurately follow the phrasing, listening to the recording is highly recommended.
This piece begins in the key of F#M or the enharmonic spelling of GbM. Although unpleasant to look at with either 6 sharps or 6 flats, depending on which spelling is followed, this key is often used by composers to invoke emotions of a conquest story, evoking relief, triumph, victory, and clarity. As we know from our story in Malevolent so far, this meaning is not lost on us. I have chosen to keep this piece as F#M since that is how I originally began transcribing it. I have also attached the GbM version at the end of the post, however all the analysis follows F#M spelling.
The lone piano begins on the third of our I chord with a hesitant, heavily rubato 8th note pickup into measure 1. The transition from measure to measure in this first phrase gains little confidence, especially with the transition from the pickup into m. 1 as this is the only instance in the piece where the set of 8th notes in the left hand do not lend itself into the next right hand pickup (four 8th notes instead of five). Each lead-in to the downbeat is stretched, pedal held throughout the measure to allow the sound to linger. Each press of the keys is deliberate, yet maintains a mezzo dynamic as the sound fades. m.2 is introduced with a vi chord, creating a hint of unease before resolving in m.3 to a IV(add7). We end our first phrase with a half cadence to a V chord, leading into a V7 as our next phrase begins with a B.
As we enter our second phrase it is similar to our first with m.5 beginning with a I chord, m.6 expands our vi chord compared to its first iteration, resulting in a more confident feel as we continue into m.7 with yet another expansion to our IV(add7). M.8 ends this phrase as we reach another half cadence V chord almost V7.
Beginning m.9 the piece has a few possible paths of analysis, we arrive on a vi chord if we are remaining in F#M, which unlike our other initial starting phrases this throws us into a melancholic mood. There is a possibility of modulation to the relative minor (D#m), however I believe it remains in F#M and utilizes inversions of our chords and will continue with this assumption for the next phrase.
Remaining in F#M, m.10 could be a vi(4/2) inversion, or a I(6/4) inversion. Because Measure 11 moves to a ii chord, I believe it makes more harmonic sense for m.10 to be a vi(4/2) inversion as moving from a I(6/4) - ii is less common than a vi(6/4) to a ii.
M.11 into m.12 is a fascinating progression. We have a V with the (g) in m.11, then we are descending to a Dnat, A#, E# progression. The Dnat is what has thrown me off the most, as it is a minor chord of sorts but doesn’t exist within our key of F#M, or relative D#m. The E# A# progression I believe is a I(4/2) chord, as it is leading us back into the next phrase. Even spelling enharmonically as a A#, Cx, E# chord it does not naturally occur within our existing key. After many hours of checking theory textbooks, writing out possible modulations, and playthroughs of the chords, I’m choosing to leave this as a V-I(4/2) progression and accepting my loss that I do not know what chord exists in the downbeat of m.12. However, I can say that resolving to something that is not a root tonic further creates this sense of melancholy.
Bringing us to our next phrase at m.13, similar to our previous phrase a vi chord but instead of resolving to an A# it resolves to the root D#. M.14 is identical to m.10 with the exception of the lower octave A#3 before resolving in m.15 to a ii chord until the fourth beat of the measure which leads us into measure 16 - resolving to a IV-V half cadence by the end of the measure.
Reaching m.18 we are returning to our original phrase. This is where our cello enters for the duet, in which I have some observations about musicality first. As the piano is using a significant amount of pedal to sustain the sound, the cello utilizes a wide vibrato to create a warm sound. Notably, this doesn’t occur as significantly when entering with the lower notes. The cello is confident, encouraging the piano forward and maintaining a solid momentum even with the hesitance the piano has shown.
M.18 we begin on a I chord, supported by the cello playing a low F# as the root. In the pause between phrases, it's as if you can feel the performers breathing together before they move to m.19, our vi(add7) chord.
Measure 20 I have quite a bit to talk about. Stacked chord analysis is not my forte (pun intended). From what I could hear, there is a B1, F#2, B2, F#3 in the cello, while the piano continues with a IV(add7) chord. B1 is impossible to play on a cello with traditional tuning, in order to achieve this note they would have to tune their lowest string - their C string - down a half step. The chord B1/F#2/B2/F#3 is also impossible to play on a single instrument. If one cello tuned their C down to a B, then they could feasibly play the bottom chord, possibly the two B’s in octaves. It is possible for a cellist to play an F#/B/F# chord, however it would be uncomfortable and not result in a good tonality with it being a triple stop - but, the second cello could split the chord and play a different combination (F#2,B2 or B2,F#) with success. Other solutions to this could be having a double bass play the pedal B, as it would be within their ability on and remain in the correct octave, or having the piano cover the pedal B. This massive chord then resolves simply to a half cadence V chord in measure 21.
Entering our last section, m.22, we return to a phrase similar to the beginning, with a confident I chord. With each measure we go to a more traditional chord progression to a V-IV-V in measures 23, 24, and 25 respectively. In an exciting turn of events, we land on a I chord in our final measure. The first PAC in the entire piece, and yet, it doesn’t sound as if the piece is finished. Throughout its entirety, all the phrases have been a form of inauthentic cadence. We end on a Perfect Authentic Cadence, a V-I, it should sound resolved. And yet, it continues on. The notes ring, and if left on repeat (as I have done for this analysis), it makes sense for it to continue.
In conclusion, I believe this duet is in an general AABBAA format, with A being Major key tonality and B encompassing a minor key tonality. This piece is a conversation, it’s full of emotion and hesitance and is a fantastic representation of everything we’ve seen Arthur and John go through so far in the podcast. I can’t help but think of “I’ve come so far…and I have miles to go before I sleep” with this piece as a reflection of that. This composition is saying “Look, see how far we’ve come, what we’ve done to get here. How we’ve changed and grown.” All this to say, it’s an amazing story and an amazing composition. If you made it this far, I’m glad you came along in this musical journey with me and feel free to add anything I may have missed (or possibly mistaken).
#malevolent#malevolent podcast#malevolent soundtrack#how far we've come#harlan guthrie#arthur lester#john doe#music theory#music theory analysis#piano#cello#I'm working on performing this but I only have access to a piano and cello once a week :'(#and I have so many other projects I've been working on *cries*#i spent a good week transcribing this#then a good two days analyzing it#my music theory chops are rusty#I was seriously pulling out my orchestration and harmony in context textbooks to check my facts#and i'm still worried i made mistakes askljdfhlsa#take all of this with a grain of salt!!!#envy writes
105 notes
·
View notes
Note
I found your art randomly and I have fallen into Ark obsession (and just your style in general, it’s so good 👏)
I was curious how Ark’s first transformation went? Was he prepared? I think you said in one of your posts that most people don’t survive the first transformation so was recovery from it like super brutal or did the werewolf healing kick in 🤔
Thank you for putting your work out into the world!!
thank you for the ask! he is very special 2 me so i am glad you enjoy him :)
the funny thing is that i am actually in the process of writing/illustrating a thing detailing this very incident! it's gotten way longer than it has any right to be so ive still got some work to do, but i'll answer your question and then put a little preview under the read more lol
Ark's first full moon transformation lasted about 12 hours and he thought he was dying for like 90% of it! Werewolf healing certainly helped him recover faster than human, but it still took over a month to get better, and then ofc the next full moon undid a good chunk of that healing again, so all in all it was likeeee 6-ish months before he really got to heal all the way.
And he was prepared. He knew what was going to happen and had a super powered babysitter (aka Mira, who was with him for the whole thing) and it was still one of the most traumatic nights of his life; he was not "normal" for a loooooong time after it.
To his (unfortunate) credit, his first full moon was somewhat more brutal than normal bc his werewolf form is so fuck off huge. Like. It would have sucked regardless, but turning into something that big definitely did not help!
So, yeah -- the transformation itself sucked and then the recovery sucked just as bad. And when i say "it sucked" i mean he broke bones, cracked ribs, tore muscle, etc etc, so he didn't really leave his house for months. He already had a general aversion to people touching him, but for years after this he still flinches at even the smallest thing :)
(CW for general gore/injury under the cut! this is like. somehow the least-gross section i could pull some paragraphs from lol)
She could not tell you when she passed out. With her last bit of consciousness she remembers picking up his limp body and carrying it back into the other room, completely ignoring the blood and grime covering the entirety of him as she put him back in bed. Her sheets don’t matter. Hell, the whole damn bed doesn’t matter at this point. His skin was blanketed in a layer of cold sweat and his body lay in her arms like rubber, but the second she’d put him down, he shook beneath her like he was freezing, numbly pawing at the sheets for salvation. He’d shrunk in size considerably and the sweltering coat of fur that’d been keeping him uncomfortably warm had all but receded back into his flesh, exposing the litany of cuts and scrapes and tears that’d cratered his skin over the course of the night. Beside each wound is a complimentary bruise, an impressionist landscape of purple and yellow and red painted across his naked body. She’d been attentively listening to his heartbeat and breathing the entire night. At least, she’d tried to. But when the chatter of his teeth and the depths of his breathing became rhythmic over the course of an hour, she quietly lost the battle against exhaustion, passing out on the bed beside him. There’s nothing more she could have done for him anyway. It’s a fight he knows he would have lost if the roles were reversed, so even if he was composed enough to know where he was, he wouldn’t have faulted her anyway. The pain had become passive, a passenger to the general fatigue and malaise of illness. His head is full of cotton, sopping up every loose incoherent thought his brain tries to put together and turning it to mush. He can’t see or hear or think, and—at this point—he can barely feel, an almost gentle haze falling over him like the fog of anesthesia. So severe was the agony that it’s wrapped all the way back around to numbness; he couldn’t move a single limb if his life depended on it, his chest barely rising and falling to allow air into his tired, barely intact lungs. If he could think in anything more than colors and shapes, he’d be reciting the mantra ‘it’s almost over, it’s almost over’. But right now, the world is little more than a soft, orange glow emanating from the dim lights scattered around her room. For nearly twelve hours, his brain had been too wired to shut off, too manic to do anything other than gawk at the monstrosity of contorted limbs his body had become. If life was fair, he would have simply passed out and awoke when it was over. But it isn’t fair. So he had to experience the whole thing, fully conscious. Though, perhaps, not fully cognizant. And that would be for the best.
#shut up bug#bug answers#the full document is. uhm. Brutal. spoiler alert his entire spine almost ripped itself out!#i love to put my ocs in the blender <3
35 notes
·
View notes
Note
pls tell me abt your personal scenelights headcanon/storyline
(Rubs my hands together with evil intent) This is gonna be a long post, everything will be under the cut. I’m still early into my Regretevator mental illness arc so a good chunk of this will more than probably change.
So Kasper and Lampert have been friends since elementary school age (I’d give 8/10 years old).
Their friendship started with Kasper crying over something (he gives strong “i hate my stepdad/stepmom” vibes), and Lampert, who is not really great at soothing emotions through words, distracts him by turning into various objects. Kasper is like YOOOO THIS IS THE GREATEST THING IVE EVER SEEN and from then on out they’re inseparable. Kasper always pushes Lampert to do things he’s scared of, and Lampert will always do his best to calm and ground Kasper when he’s unstable. (I hc Kas as being impulsive, esp when angry/sad) Also, Lamp is just happy to have someone who genuinely enjoys his company beyond the use of a light source for the first time in his life.
Kas did online school, with and lamp being like??? An a young entity of the elevator??? And having like no obligations or responsibilities beyond being anthro furniture, the two of them spend most of their time either exploring/chilling in the infinite rokea, or playing games in Kaspers house.
(Oh boy group angst begins now)
Lampert has almost always had a crush on Kasper, (He cant help it, cute scene boy) and it only got worse into their teens. Boy was pining HARD, and was always pretty sure that Kas never liked him back, or that he was closer with other people.
Kasper? Not so much. He likes Lampert too, sure, but is in the biggest state of denial over it. His search history is full of “is it gay to want to kiss your best friend???” Lmao. He is also terrified that he could ruin his friendship, again- he tends to be impulsive so he’s scared of hurting lamp in any way. He just. Keeps that portion of emotions stuck in there. Tight under lock and key.
Lampert asks Kasper out. Kasper rejects him. They remain close, but something seems… off about Kas sometimes.
The infection takes Kasper slowly after he agrees to let the parasite in. (A whole other set of headcannon I have in mind haha) and things are normal for about a year or so. As the parasite begins taking more resources from him, Kasper begins to drop weight, sleep for 12+ hours in a day, mumble to himself about insane things, and become more forgetful. And Lampert is TERRIFIED. In an attempt to elevate his spirits, he asks Kasper out on a date. Saying that it didn’t have to be something romantic, but just to get Kasper out of his house. He’s practically locked himself in his room for days at a time now.
Infected agrees, having completely forgotten why he was so scared of being with Lampert in the first place. He remembers the emotions of being with lampert, the joy he brings him- but doesn’t know how to place them into memories. He sees lampert as a kind new friend, who he sees and is immediately filled with hard to place unbridled joy- and so happens to know everything about him, how to make him laugh, how to calm him down, his favorite foods and games and places to go… (AND HE’S CUTE??? SCORE.)
LAMPERT. IS. TERRIFIED. He is so, so scared. His best friend, the guy he sees as the love of his life finally reciprocates those feelings with him, but only because he isn’t in the right state of mind to deliver those feelings properly. Lampert is the first to notice infected has taken place of Kasper, and is the first to attempt to being him to a hospital. Infected just kinda discharges himself, he’s an adult now and not necessarily a danger to himself or others (yet). And doctors can’t place what is wrong with him.
So, lampert is holding off on whatever romance he feels towards Kas until he can figure out what’s going on with infected. (Also in tandem with his own germaphobia) he has become extra wary of illness and the spread of germs within the floors of the elevator because he fears the other residents potentially catching what Infected has, or his illness mutating or something.
He also realizes eventually that Kasper and Infected are sorta two things inhabiting the same body. When Kas is more lucid/the parasite has less control, they can be addressed separately. Usually the parasite has more control though, shambling around and using the body as a clumsy vessel.
Lampert absolutely hates the parasite, and will only ever address Kasper as Infected when speaking directly to the parasite (screaming at it for taking his friend from him while it laughs in his face) he is of course, disgusted, but will do anything to save Kas.
Kasper is hardly there mentally. He disassociates whenever he feels infected is essentially piloting him. He hears lamperts voice, but ever only answers when he has the energy anymore. It’s sorta okay though, he did let this happen after all.
Infected is still getting used to existing in a human(?) form. It shambles about like a zombie. The thing can hardly keep its own brain from melting out of his nose. Ofc when it speaks it sounds like a bad mic. Its only recently learned it needs the vessel to eat so that they both live! It likes Lampert though, though he only ever insults it (it finds him funny). Maybe if it learns to act more like Kasper, whatever that means, Lampert might like it too.
So anyway Lampert is in this Queer-platonic relationship with his crush and by extension the parasite pretending to be his crush, because he doesn’t know if the real Kas would truly want to be in that deep of a relationship if he were fully lucid.
(Thanks for coming to my ted talk i hope this makes some sense, I’m way better at explaining things via 100+ pages of fancomic.)
((This took like an hour to write lmao))
Btw this song is them. To me.
youtube
#regretevator#regretevator infected#regretevator kasper#regretevator lampert#kasper regretevator#lampert regretevator#infected regretevator#kasper x lampert#infected x lampert#skaterlight#regretevator skaterlight#scenelights#angst lmao
58 notes
·
View notes
Text
2 Truths 1 Lie : SMOSHBLR EDITION

y’all ive been thinking about this one for a while lol- after the ‘smoshblr assumptions’ game was received so well i was like we haaaave to do another one- it brings the fandom so much closer and is honestly such a good way to get to know moots better <3
SO. without further ado- I present to you SMOSHBLR’s 2 Truths 1 Lie organised by yours truly with some help from kind friends @xxsuicidalravenxx & @babychosen <3
Here’s how you play:
Rb this post with ‘#i’m in’ so i can keep track of who’s playing
Between the hours of 9:00 am EST - 12:00 (noon) EST on Wed. June 5th (check what time that would be in your area) post a 1-day poll to your blog with 3 facts about yourself (the reason it’s a specific time is so we don’t miss any/have polls end at different times and make the game an endless loop )
Self-explanatory here, 1 of the facts should be completely false and the other two should be true.
IMPORTANT: PLEASE. please. do NOT give away personal information/intimate life details that could identify you. despite how awesome smoshblr is, the internet is still a scary place.
You can tag the poll whatever you’d like but please include #smoshblrtwotruths somewhere in the tags so i can rb it ;)
After your poll is up- you now have 24h to go on the #smoshblrtwotruths tag and have fun speculating on other’s facts in the replies of their posts and
VOTE FOR THE OPTION YOU THINK THEIR 1 LIE IS!!
You can ask others questions about their facts to help verify their stories via asks or replies on their polls, but keep in mind, just like in smosh’s real game version, they could be lying ;)
Be silly, be goofy, be kind.
After the polls end (sometime on Thursday the 6th), rb your poll explaining what the truths and lies actually were so we can see if we were right!!
At the end (Friday 7th) i’ll make a masterlist of all the truths & lies so we can clearly see who the winners were <3
AWARDS:
🎩 The Lesbian Wonkas 🍭 (The Winners)- people whose lie does NOT get found by collecting the most votes on the poll- will get a personalised playlist based on the vibes their tumblr gives off straight from my chaotic ass spotify <3
🐦⬛ The Birds of The Amazönê 🚬 (The Losers)- the losers will get sprayed with water a.k.a an influx of asks with nothing but 💦🔫💦🔫💦🔫💦🔫 in them (by participating in the game, you consent to this so don’t be annoyed at me. get sprayed, bestie)
okay. that’s it. please reply or send asks if the rules are unclear!! i’d suggest scheduling ur 2 Truths 1 Lie poll as soon as you have your facts so it can go up during the mentioned time with all the other polls and you don’t have to worry about posting it 🫶🏻
i’m tagging some moots so they know this is happening and just bc they’re awesome @lilac-hecox @sage-lights @japhan2024 @baflegacy @shesmore-shoebill feel free to tag your friends too <3
Let’s get truthing and lying, smoshblr!!!
#smoshblrtwotruths#i’m in#smosh game#smoshblr#smosh#moots#tumblr game#have fun y'all#ty babychosen for the goated tag idea
67 notes
·
View notes
Text
random community college english assignment just forced me to realize the 3 most formative moments of my life were:
Being so close with my best friend in the freshman year of high school that our souls practically merged as we just spent hours talking each other through the difficulties of high school, dealing with traumas, growing up, sexual maturation, and gender identity. We got so close that our friendship just naturally became a gay relationship
Learning about the MKUltra experiments and obsessively researching its history so much that my knowledge about and hatred of the CIA became one of my most defining traits throughout the first 2 years of high school.
Realizing corporations are all evil from my best friend in my sophomore year of high school. This would become my 2nd huge obsession that I incessantly researched and possessed so much knowledge and hatred for that it became one of my most defining traits though the last 2 years of high school. This friend (different friend from the first one) I also became so close with that our friendship just naturally became a gay relationship
Secret 4th thing that I'm kind of just realizing: both those friends I dated ended up coming out as trans. so did all four of the other people i've dated. all either trans at the start, or eventually came out as trans during or after our relationship. I also never asked any of these people out. Trans people just gravitate to me. I'm not a chaser, I am the one being chased. What does this mean for me. No I'm genuinely kind of losing it right now why do trans people have this affinity with me.
I'm also now in the process of realizing that the reason I have been avoiding thinking about my own gender identity is because I've been insanely busy in college. But literally the one time I did think about it I got nothing done because I spent days just locked in my own thoughts watching back every single one of my memories with the lens of "what if this was gender dysphoria" and realizing that every memory relating to gender I have is laced in some degree of disdain of being born as and treated like a man. OH SHIT
I have a dissociative disorder. when I'm super stressed out it makes me dissociate and this can create huge gaps in my memory. That's why I "stopped" thinking about my gender identity. i DIDN'T stop thinking about it I just don't remember it. I can't remember almost any of October or November other than Halloween and thanksgiving. My most recent tangible memories start from the day the CEO got shot because that moment was so important to my beliefs about corporations being evil that it grounded me and took me out of a huge dissociative episode. THAT'S WHY I WAS SUPPOSED TO BUY A NOTEPAD. TO WRITE DOWN MY IMPORTANT THOUGHTS AND TASKS.
I've had my egg cracked and then partially resealed. I have to think about my gender identity again.
hey. sorry this post is all over the place. I'm realizing that Ive basically been doing 12 hours of college work every day for quite a few days now and the burnout and stress has been making me dissociate, which is making me forget the things Ive worked on and thought about. this post is all over the place because im piecing together those memories live.
this post has the potential to have way too many tags so I'll just remove all the non LGBT or rant tags because that seems to be the main essence of this post at this point
#trans#queer#gender identity#bisexual#rant#personal rant#rant post#transgender#egg#egg cracking#dissociation
40 notes
·
View notes
Text

“Baby I’m ready for take off”
CW: Cock Warming ,Chest Riding, Fluff(?), Poorly written smut, comfort(?) nicknames ( ma, mamas, papa, and baby)
PAIRING: Connie x Black!FemReader
WC: 0.9k
🫧🗯️: Test run post! Don’t judge🤒 ALSO! first time writing smut so if it’s bad i’m sorry, it’ll probably remain like that for a minute…(title is from a wayv song.. doesn’t have to do anything with the fic🪦🪦)
MINORS DNI
(take off!)
It's been a long day, long week even. School has been beating your ass with essays and finals..this was your only chance to relax. You enter connie's apartment around 6 pm, he wasn't there because he's also been busy but not with school. The team made it to regionals and the coach has been working the team the bone with drills everyday.
You use your key that he lent to you and make yourself at home, he lived off campus. You make your way into the shower and clean yourself up real quick and change into his pajamas, although a lot of your clothes is in his room, hell ! you even have your own drawer! But you love the way his clothes feels on you and his scent makes you feel safe. You were absolutely starving by the time you got dressed and decided to go order some food, wing-stop you finally decide you got yourself a 12 pc hot and lemon pepper with a side of fries and A sprite. When the food came around it was almost eight and Connie should be on his way home.
After you finished eating you cleaned up super quick and went to bed, connie showed up about an hour later. He knew you were here but seeing you in his sheets and pjs made his heart falter. He went in the shower quickly and joined you in bed. He tried his best not to make any noise but regardless you still woke up
"Sorry ma, didn't mean to wake you up"
he said so gentle,
"how are you? I'm sorry I came home late.. i didn't expect coach to keep us so long"
he caressed your cheeks trying to get you back to sleep. You looked up at his beautiful freckled face, you missed him so much you guys havent been able to see each other at all this week with being so occupied with your own personal activities and affairs. Small tears stream from your eyes, he wipes them away with such care and delicacy.
"I know, I know ive missed you too, baby"
You turn towards to him and indulge into his chest , he's not wearing a shirt which is normal since he gets really sweaty at night (😭😭🪦🪦🪦) you start talking about the events that happened that week, how your essay went, how you absolutely failed your stats test, new books you bought, girl drama, and how stressful it's been for you. He nods occasionally and throws in a couple of "mhms" to let yk that he's still listening. This goes on for about an hour and at this point you're just rambling, but connie understands how much you love to talk and let's you continue without complaint, that is until you ask him about his week and what he's done.
At this point he's practically knocked out.
"Hah, What was that baby what did you say??" he said a little bit groggy
You repeat your question, but while you do you see that he's HARD??? No way this man was hard from just hearing you talk.But then he must've been backed up from this whole week because of how rarely he saw you or had anytime for himself. When you think about it has been a while since y'all had sex, because of how seldom it's been to even talk to him on the phone
"Hey con.. You're hard, how long has it been?" you ask while playing with his nipples. (🪦🪦🪦)
"Baby you don't even understand how much i've missed you..c'mere" He pulls you closer to his penis.
Slowly he removes his pants and boxers, revealing his hard leaking cock.. good lord it was so much prettier than you remember. You slowly enter his dick into your hole, surprised by how wet you were.
"Be careful mamas I could jizz into you at any point" you laughed at his choice of words, it was clear that he hasn't been relived in awhile..and while you were also tired doesn't mean you could at least help him out!!?? and you were on the pill so that should count for something..right??? Continuing you grab ahold of his tip and insert it, until fully seethed into your pussy. It felt so good, you grabbed his hand and placed it on your stomach showing him where his dick is. That really pushed him over and sprayed your pussy through and through. your poor baby he was so sensitive. You guys stayed like that until morning.
Waking up, you find yourself looking at connie sleeping so soundly and peacefully. You reach for your phone but feel restricted once you've realized the man got a whole ass dick in you. omggg
"Baby wake up" you whisper yell, tapping his chest. you roam your fingers on along his abs, a few seconds later connie shifts a little bit to remove his cock from you and lifts you up and places you down on his chest. This all happens so quick that u immediately shiver, with your wet slicky pussy on top of his chest he begins move you up and down while his dick teases at your ass crack. Your nails dig into his abdomen while you grind your silky pussy over his abs. Connie's hands take pleasure in your tits while they bounce up and down, twisting and turning you nipples putting you into over drive. Your cum glazes over his abs, you panting hard. First thing in the morning... You rest your head on his chest finding his heart beat while he rubs your head calming you down.
"I love you ma" he whispers, he feels your smile into his chest and laughs a bit. He raises your head, "did you hear what I said?" He leans in for a kiss and you return it. "I love you too papa"
(Think of this as a soft launch ijbol)🫧🗯️
#Kristlewrites🫧🗯️#black reader smut#connie springer x black reader#aot x black reader#connie springer x black reader smut#connie springer smut#connie x black reader smut#aot connie#smut#aot fanfiction#fanfic#fluff#black writers
216 notes
·
View notes
Text
Azzy’s media log#2
(as of now to give everyone a little insight into stuff I’ve been getting into/ consuming as of late~)
Still isn’t everything but more bigger over arching ones!! (Honorable mentions smaller stuff).
Please see the bottom of list for the stuff I plan on getting to soon!
Slight and vague spoilers for all media in tags(only reason I tagged this~)
( hello Charolette section has the biggest ones tho for episodes one and 2 (have not finished 2 yet tho)!!!)
Code Realize:
Victor……. Victor makes me so ill….. he and Cardia together make me so ill… note to self I need to draw them again- (I just got to chapter 12 of his route, and have completed Impey’s, Impey also makes me ill-) highly recommend so far!
bug fables:
chapter one finished!! I love silly bug game!!! LIEF IS AN ELDRITCH BEING YOU CANT CHaNGE MY MIND!!! (Lief is also my favorite so far~) highly recommend silly bug game so far! (I also have fanart I have yet to post too!!)
ENA: Dream BBQ
Just finished this one tonight OHhhHhh I’m SO hyped for chapter 2!!!! GUH this game is genuinely just amazing both visually and surrealism wise!!! Highly recommend both this and the webseries (for those who haven’t watched it) with my whole heart!
Hello Charolette:
Currently on episode 2! I AM ONTO YOU C AND BENNET >:((!!! But I very much am enjoying!!! Episode one is a fun time I really like Charolette!!! Plus the lore is very fascinating thus far (totally not me spending 2 hours analyzing the use of to be or not to be for one specific scene030-) highly recommend!! Also have fanart I just haven’t posted!
Zeno:
we uhhhh….. we know how that’s been going- watched the first ten minutes of daily life at like three am the other night, idk if I’ll get back on that soon- for my full thoughts please read my review on this blog.
Xenoblade 2: 
Uhhhh….. I’m kinda a honorary knower so I know most spoilers for this entire franchise teehee~ but it has still made me feel things despite this!!! I like Nia and Poppi a lot :> (technically have not played one, and this one is more like watching a play through). (Also have doodles for this one!!) Morag and Bridghid are definitely wives too btw trust me, I was in the board room when they were written/silly
Detective Beebo:
Teehee, Ive already posted stuff for Beebo already (and have some live blogs here) I love it so much!!! Genuinely amazing please play it if you haven’t it’s so charming and makes me violently ill ( only ending I haven’t seen is one still…… then after that I get to read train comic!!!) (oh yeah Angèl is my favorite…. *stares at Noel and him*…. Same picture/silly. Also Vivi is such a cutie and the absurd voice I did for Simon during friend play Throughs has genuinely put him in there as one of my Beebo faves!!!
Cryptid Crush
Really need to get back to this one…. Ive only played dead air and I ADORE atlas!!! Genuinely wondering where this one goes!!! (Also tested acrylic paint markers with fanart for this one!) also mad house gives me mad beetle juice vibes- love the TTRPG vibes of this one too!!! 
Honorable mentions
Lilly’s well, vivid stasis, kinda started end roll??, same with Wadanohara, started watching a friend play Breath of the wild and sky ward sword (of which Ive never played nor watched any gameplay of a Zelda game), mouth washing, web fishing, football 1000 years in the future , trapped
FMA has now been started as of tonight! I like:3!!!
To Consume soon list
Hatoful Boy friend
Great God’s Grove
Rainworld (if Noel wins round two of his timelooper tourney poll as promised)
Saihate Station
Coffee moon(I have the first manga I’ve been sitting on!)
Some day I’ll get to murder drones-
I still need to play all of the project moon games…. I have them all…. Lobo corp just crashed my computer instantly;w;
Off remake when it comes out !!!!
#azzy’s media log!#code: realize#bug fables#ena dream bbq#hello charlotte#xenoblade 2#detective beebo#cryptid crush#azzy’s storytime!#hello charolette episode 2
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
a highly unasked for sleepyhouse2 lore post:
- 5'2, 87 lbs
- same birthday as ella fitzgerald, which is april 25. which is very soon. oy!!!
- vegan
- married (weve been together since i was 18); husband is a writer
- have four cat friends: stanley, roast beef, rhonda rhonda and judy
- other than drawing, my hobbies are writing, watching movies, learning languages, cooking and collecting vhs tapes and records
- speaks english, japanese (pretty fluently but ive lost some kanji cause im lazy), some yiddish (can understand a lot more than i can speak, not very literate), some russian (conversational, basic reading and writing), very rudimentary finnish (its a really cool language), smattering of czech, can order food and do swears in mandarin (after school classes didnt really stick and tonal languages are hard)
- favorite food is cucumbers, favorite flower is lupins, favorite smell is rain, favorite season is fall, favorite movie is midnight cowboy, favorite book is the heart is a lonely hunter, favorite band is ajj, favorite tv show is deadwood, favorite color is yellow
- likes movies (exploitation films in particular), cilantro, sweatshirts, 0 cal seltzer, taking really long baths that make me almost black out, yoga (a lady first showed us patients how to do it in a very nice mental hospital), replacing the names in songs with my cats names, judy garland, fancy tea, religious texts
- hates cg effects, poetry by people who arent dead, intentionally "bad" movies, summertime (satan lives in the sun), joss whedons oeuvre, dr. who, fantasy literature, opening cans and jars, remakes, when my 11 lb boy cat walks on my tablet, rudeness (put away your fucking shopping cart! hold the door for people! pick up your dogs poopies! dont yell at me from the bus stop!)
- afraid of rice, pasta, nuts, millions of other foods
- schizophrenic, eating disordered, aspiring non-agoraphobe
- owns my house (its over 100 years old and kinda janky but its ours)
- evil bisexual preferring glamorous women and fucked up men
- hasn't bought a major piece of furniture in like 8 years; gets all the furniture i need from the street (got a sick giant bookcase last week)
- i have a giant dick tattooed on my leg. i also have a cat tattoo i dont remember giving myself. a bunch of other tattoos. i dont believe in paying for them so theyre all stick n pokes
- from the pacific northwest but lives in the midwest
- been smoking since i was 12 (need to quit)
- wore an eye patch as a kid to correct my bum eye; didn't work
- had to take after school classes in elementary to correct my cavemanlike pen grip
- didnt learn to properly tie my shoes until i was 12, somehow got other kids on the playground to do it for me
- kicked out at 16
- cant do long division, cant drive a car, cant roll my rs
- insane memory for movie factoids but cant remember where my chapstick or any of my personal possessions are
- almost got arrested for stealing sample dildos and giving them to my friends. someone at a coffee shop narced on me and the cops showed up and i had to go apologize. i was very drunk
- have like 2000 hours across civ 4, 5 and 6 (all played in the dark with the sound off, which people dont like when i do that)
- tv show twins: jay sherman, judy gemstone, jerri blank
- marilyn monroe superfan, amy winehouse mourner (why couldnt god have taken adele), doris wishman enjoyer, gena rowlands worshipper, william t. vollman appreciator
- firm believer that as a society we should abandon butts and go back to gams
- other fav movies: female trouble, the love butcher, tideland, fortune and mens eyes, a woman under the influence, strange circus, the devils, last house on the left, gentlemen prefer blondes, the women, trash, dont answer the phone, tetsuo the iron man, dead ringers
- fav writers: carson mccullers, david foster wallace, robert lowell, f scott fitzgerald, william t vollman, breece dj pancake, nathanael west, delmore schwartz, dorothy parker, renata adler, phillip k dick, richard brautigan, steve erickson, ryu murakami (the superior murakami), jd salinger, my husband (hes really good!!)
- cries at every movie ever
- probably vitamin deficient
- prays every day
- wobbly
- probably needs to go back to working on my comic now
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
chess and muffins

heyy everybodyyyy
ok so firstly i promise chapter 12 of mastermind is coming pls bear w me; secondly ive been watching the olympics and you guys. literally why does everyone look like models like they're GORGEOUS esp steven nedoroscik and armand duplantis like yummmm
also can we talk about the muffins pls bc they’ve had a chokehold on me for way too long now like pls i need to recipe rn
anyways a friend of mine, @curaheehee , asked for this one and girl i really hope this lived up to what you wanted bc guys i tried my best and i lowkey hate it but i hope it was okay for the ask😭🙏❤️
The chatter of the audience around the stadium hums behind me, accompanied by multiple news reporters and retired athletes, everyone giving their opinions on the past events today.
Simone, Suni and I are standing around the sidelines, chatting away trying not to “psyc ourselves out” as we wait for the officials to finish prepping the equipment before we can compete.
“I really wanna try one of those muffins Henrik keeps posting about, they look so delectable” I say, imagining the muffins I’ve seen everywhere but still havent had the chance to try.
“No you really need to, they’re soo good” Simone adds as Suni nods along,
“How long do you guys think they’re going to take? Like its already been almost an hour, I’m getting so bored” Suni says impatiently as we look around and still see the officials fiddling around with the equipment.
“Who knows, the french overcomplicate everything” I say, making the girls laugh as we look around for anything else interesting to keep ourselves entertained during the wait.
Simone spots a rubiks cube under a chair and picks it up saying excitedly, “Hey Y/n didn’t you say you could solve one of these things?”I smile, taking the cube from her excitedly, “I don’t know honestly I think the last one I solved was like two years ago.”
“Try it, I’ll time you” Suni says getting her phone out as Simone reshuffles the cube.
“Three, two, one, Go!”
I shuffle the cube around as quick as I can and finish in 7 seconds, yelling out along with the girls as everyone around us looks at us strangely as we jump up and down out of excitement.
“Okay, on the plane back home you have to teach me how to do that” Simone says.
“Me too!” Suni adds.
I open my mouth to respond but before I can, I feel someone tapping me gently on my shoulder and I turn around to see who it is.
“Hi,”
Steven Nedoroscik.
Of course.
I had seen him earlier this week in the mens pommel horse event and I couldn’t stop giggling over him during and after the event when Simone and Suni kept showing me edits of him.
I try to keep my cool as he speaks, “I think I dropped my rubiks cube somewhere here earlier, have you seen it?”
“Oh! Yes of course,” I’m broken out my trance as he finishes asking his question and I turn around to take the cube back from Suni as she hands it to me with a smirk as Simone tries to repress her giggles, seeing me so flustered.
“Thanks,” He says with a smile looking down at the solved cube, “Who solved this?”
“Oh I did, sorry I didn’t know it was yours.” I say, slightly embarrassed.
“Don’t worry about it, how long did it take you?” he says, making me feel a lot better.
“Seven seconds” I say proudly as he raises his eyebrows in surprise,
“No way! The fastest I’ve solved one in is eight seconds” he remarks, making me laugh.
“Hey how long do they take to set these things up?” I ask putting a hand on my hip and the other pointing to the stage.
“Don’t even get me started, I had a whole nap in my event”
I laugh along with him, “I might just have to start doing that too, but I’m not competing for another week after today so I’ll probaby just spend the rest of the week hunting down the chocolate muffins and playing chess.”
With this Stevens eyes lit up, “You play chess too?” he said exictedly
“A little bit, not like competitively but my dad taught me when I was younger” I say, smiling at his interest.
He goes to reply but is cut off with a thick french accent over the speakers announcing,
“Everyone who is not a gymnast or a coach, please exit the area; the event will begin shortly.”
Before he leaves, Steve asks, “Hey if you’re not doing anything tomorrow morning, would you want to meet up at the dining hall and play a round?”
I’m stunned at first but quickly recover once I hear another announcement over the speakers, louder this time.
“Yes. I’d love that” I say, smiling broadly as he lets out a held breath and nods before leaving, almost tripping over a chair behind him making me laugh.
timeskip
I scan the trays of pastries in the breakfast section in search of the chocolate muffins before giving up when I couldn’t find any and taking a pain au chocolat and water instead and making my way to where Steve was carefully placing chess pieces on the board.
“Good morning,” I say, taking a seat in front of him causing him to look up and smile,
“Good morning,” he says, pushing his glasses up slightly, “I saved you a chocolate muffin they were about to run out”
He hands me a chocolate muffin, still warm, “Oh my gosh stop, I was so heartbroken like two minutes ago I thought Henrick took them all, thank you so much” I laugh, blushing slightly.
“Of course! Shall we start?” he laughs, blushing and motioning to the board.
“No hold on,” I say after a bite of the muffin, “What does the winner get?”
“Hmm…” he thinks, “How about if you win, I get you muffins every morning for a week,”
“Mhm okay I like where this is going”
“And if I win, you go on a real date with me” he looks up nervously through his glasses catching me off guard with wide eyes.
It takes me a minute but I respond, “Okay”
I’ve never tried harder to lose.
again like i lowkey hated it uughh but guys please feel free to send in any requests about anyone bc im rotting away until september 6th and ive got literally nothing to do❤️❤️
21 notes
·
View notes