#09.08.2022 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

only-lonely-lovers · 1 year ago

Text

09.08.2022

tags: fingering mouth/fingers in throat

notes: link to PART 1

Bird is あ / Avvy is つ

あ：Starting the day with a couple of vignettes…

In one, Amane is straddling Tsukasa, legs saddled on either side of his chest, hands grasping his face. This is an impulse for Amane, unannounced, Tsukasa is watching attentively and waiting to see what he will do. Amane is deliberating, tilting Tsukasa's face around in his grip, adjusting pressure and walking his fingers across his jaw as he does so. Thinking something, clearly, but not saying anything… yet, he doesn't seem too self-conscious or worried about it. He finally presses two fingertips — middle and index — against Tsukasa's mouth. Familiar, this Tsukasa knows, since Amane pressed a finger into his mouth on that night on Tanabata, and sometimes freely hooks a finger in his mouth when directing Tsukasa. So, Tsukasa encloses his lips around them obediently, runs tongue along… Amane shifts on his legs, and pulls his fingers out of Tsukasa's mouth. Yet, pushes them back in, curls them against his tongue, then draws them out again. Oh, um, 'in and out'… Tsukasa quickly identifies. He's been noticing trends when they do stuff, this repetitive in-out, back-and-forth, is typically a part of it. It's so interesting, because it dose suddenly imbue things with sexuality, kind of magical feeling. Tries to follow Amane's lead and just bob in time with his motions.

On Amane's end, it's like he's starting to really excite himself over thinking what he can do TO Tsukasa, subject Tsukasa to things, and also his mind is just running wild with thoughts like, ahhh but I wanna do "fingering"… Sigh, like it seems hot to do, rapidly flick your fingers in someone — but then it occurs, like Amane himself vaguely remembers finger in mouth being pleasant, and is like hmm… Yet it's decidedly executed in a way, like, that would just be too rude or weird to dump onto a normal girl, and yet. That's like the appeal of it to Amane. Ohh maybe other people would complain or ask questions or think it's weird, but Tsukasa is gonna like it… And when observing it in motion, he watches as Tsukasa gets hazed over, getting lost in the rhythm… At this point, there's a degree of sheer conditioning and anticipation doing the work, making him horny… the opportunity to perform this… for Amane… Much excitement felt, heat blooms inside, to get to do it. Ah, and it's fun, when Amane does something different. Doki-dokis over how Amane is so creative, thinking of new things to do with him. Really feel like Amane is thinking about him, thinking about doing things to him… >//<;;;

The proximity granted from the position provides a different perspective, get to really be bent over and learned close to Tsukasa while he does this. And the ah, sheer control and specificity of fingering, get to do it rapidly, shallowly or really driving fingers into Tsukasa's mouth, holding them there and feeling his throat seize and gag. Watching Tsukasa try to be good and hold it as long as he can…❤️ Cute. But also the leisure of slowing down and idling, rubbing against Tsukasa's gums, tracing teeth, have Tsukasa open mouthed and tonguing your knuckles, or wrapping lips around a finger and sucking, all of it… Enjoyed…

But, Amane, is, a bully, and I could see it going to his head, the degree of which he can direct Tsukasa to do anything… Getting too indulged by watching the sheer obsession for him reflect in Tsukasa's eager body. You get to watch your effect on him so profoundly, it's… bound to make you sick. So, I've also been thinking about an instance where Amane just holds Tsukasa's face and talks to him, says… "Tsukasa." and Tsukasa is like [alert, mouth tight, like yes master. waiting] "You like me, don't you?" [suki deshou?] and Tsukasa urgently being like "YES yes I like Amane!!" "You really do?" "Yes! Yes." umhgh!! wiggles. [amane tilts his head] "Really?" "REALLY!!!" "Are you sure?" "YES!! Ah- ahh yes yes" "So you like me." "I LIKE AMANE!!" "Why don't you say it some more, then." rushing, fumbling. sss-s!! suki suki. "I LIKE AMANE! I LIKE AMANE I LIKE AMANEE!!" "Do you like saying it?" "YES!!" "It feels good to say?" "YES!"

… so unnecessarily milking it… just being like ahhh Tsukasa are you sure? just to spur Tsukasa to be like I;;M SURE !!!! XO!! Really string him along, send him into a tizzy. Eurr but I think of Amane walking him into dialogue that makes him feel like he is going to cry… Just from the sheer intensity of all the feefees, and, like disrespectfully toying with the responses. Touching on sensitive things… You wish you could alllways be with me right-? You want me to like you? You want to be my favorite? it's like [brain kinda sledgehammered cumulatively from this…] … like the topics get more difficult as you progress… and all of this pairs with no physical action, it's just Amane instructing him to repeat things or say stuff aloud. "Go on. Say you want to be my favorite."

I'd be curious to hear what Avvy thinks Tsukasa would feel, being tested with stuff like this, I kinda envision it devolving into making Tsukasa a bit hysterical? But I'd be interested to hear what she thinks, or how Avvy herself would "get there" -? with this set up. I'd also want to know wtf it could be like for Amane to then start initiating some touch…

つ：much to think about…. I think ah. with being teased… at first it would all be in response to the words themselves being said-- too tied up in the back and forth, the raw literal sentences, for some time. I think hysteria is part of it and visible, but… ah… raw intense arousal-- and I think that would be interesting for Amane to finally be in a position to stoke (more or less this is equivalent to jerking tsukasa off)… he's always I think, a little doubtful and mystified by Tsukasa's alleged tingly-feelings-- I think no matter what, he kindof does think "we don't really feel the same things" in a way that is condescending to Tsukasa a bit. Like for all that Tsukasa tries to say he likes it, Amane can think "oh but not really in the adult way I do" in a sense….. but in this position of teasing Tsukasa, doing something for Tsukasa entirely for once, overwhelming him and observing his response…. Amane would be faced with and intrigued by…. watching how incredibly intense it is for Tsukasa… he would be scrambling his legs on the ground, clawing with his hands, open mouthed panting, eyes rolling back on certain words. for Tsukasa once a little of this sets in, he could also finally think in the haze "Amane wants to watch how I react to this, he wants me to hear this, he's saying this to me because he wants to see what I'll do, Amane wants to look at me so much…." and that is intoxicating. if only his raw response could be appealing, could be what Amane wants, this stripped-down interaction where all Amane asks of him is his visible desperation and confirmation…. the very conceit of this interaction is overwhelming. Feeling like he can somehow please Amane simply by being himself, by, saying things… he would want so badly to say them more and again and right, but it's also becoming difficult by his own eagerness….

Amane seeing him shudder and flinch and sorta convulse and fight his own mouth to make words and scratch the floor and become. Over the top actually maybe more…… visibly aroused than. Amane ever is….? That's….. interesting. It doesn't even… accost Amane in this same way. What.. is this? I think that would make it more addicting to keep going. its mystifying

it just shouldn't be that Tsukasa can appear more overwhelmed by words…. this isn't. a blowjob. I Am Just Talking To Him.

あ：I do think Amane is a bit, reductive and crude, and doubts the intensity/authenticity of what Tsukasa is experiencing because of… how he doesn't need to "do" anything about it. like well it can only be so good lol, it's not like you need to jerk off about it. Kind of a condescending emotion about Tsukasa really being "the baby" in the room comparatively (amane vioce I am once again fabricating some sort of age discrepancy)

he's just excited about it like… because it's thrilling to do behind our parents backs and it makes him feel cool or something

つ：on a humorous level lol. I've thought about Tsukasa just coming from it (no fluid… not how he's wired) and Amane having to watch that very obviously happen (you just know the overall appearance of body language..) and fdfj;k feeling a little for 1 second the brotherly 'ew' emotion gkfl;gj like omg no I wasn't trying t. I…that wasn't. I was just fooling around. Does not know what he's doing. Feels out of place to continue now fkfflkdg

あ：you weren't ready to watch Tsukasa come from your actions like n. i didnt. okay.

つ：tsukasa who doesn't know what nutting is or anything just feels like oh my god something spiritual and divine is happening

あ：ITS MGFNHFGNHG IN MY BODY OUUGHHHHn

つ：feeling an otherworldly amount of good wishes to cuddle you does not know this is offputting or so new or different in a way like that. you know me i just whine and wriggle

あ：truly making amane feel like eughhhgjnh f shoves you dont get any closer

つ：its too funny to think about it ending like this fkldsj;gklf but you cant take tsukasa off his cloud. he will just laugh

あ：some absolutely insane emotion like,. no only i should come from the stuff.

つ：continue rolling around on the floor like a maniac repeating the dialogue in his head [amane defensive voice] im jsut using him

あ：I was thinking that, DESPITE EVERYTHING, despite the insanity of instigating this, the amount Amane is NOT confronting how this makes him feel…. it's impressive, you could say.

a little too busy being like hahahahhaahha [points] you like me

つ：him having to hit this brick wall if something that overt happened…. but, before that happens, it being a very simple state of addicition for them both to the cause/effect. its just….tsukasa is a weird creature, isnt he?

Amane could really come to feel … that Tsukasa is… built different. He's not actually like any other person with this stuff. [condescending voice] not a boy anyway. maybe girls really like words and talking

あ：Sounds like some girl shit You just like thinking these thoughts so much? Observes you like particle.

… but ah, it is enchanting… it is, addicting to view, I think it stokes Amane in the same way Tsukasa is being stoked actually. what they don't know… is Amane is also trying really hard to search his brain , how do I keep this going/increase it? how do i say something even more intense-

i want to invent intensity… I want to see your eyes struggle to stay in place-!!

つ：I think it's par the course for them to Amane to want to increase every level of intensity, and yet the consequences of doing that will be dire

あ：ehgmh but omg I have thought about Amane condescending Tsukasa about being more like "a girl" like wow, you really do "that girl stuff". maybe that's why you're weird. says it point blank like an asshole

つ：tsukasa would recieve none of it badly he would just put a finger to his lips and be like really?

あ：uhuh. [not looking at you] 💭though it's like a girl with the perks of a little brother* *has to listen to me looks up to me is more helpless etc. < not true just a crazy person thought

つ：its all he knows.

oh… ah I specifically was thinking about Tsukasa ah, just moaning and it sounding more, overt than ever…. I think he does his best to be 'well-behaved' overall when they are messing around, because… Amane set the tone for this by regularly requesting silence, so the general idea in Tsukasa's mind is to not get too out of control that he makes a lot of noise. whines and such escape him, breathing can't be helped, but he tries to keep a relative lid on it…. but in this situation, it's all about Amane wanting to hear him talk…. but ah. I do think Tsukasa would be troubled by how hard it is to meet his requests, to talk, to reply interestingly, it's like his head can't form words, and instead pushing sound through his throat keeps resulting in these noises, noises he is used to choking down but hasn't had to hear in the open air…. I think mid-sentence trying to scramble out it gets caught up in gasps and inhales and groans and things, and he's Tsukasa, so he's as frustrated by this in some small way, as one would be if your hands were shaking trying to place down a puzzle piece…. but Amane wants… me to talk … I like the thought of him struggling through replying to Amane, trying and failing, pawing and desperate and scrambling to balance treat on nose and it keeps falling off, and feeling like he has to apologize…. finally struggle and hiccup and say ssorry, AAmmane, sorry which would make Amane feel like.. what on earth is he apologizing for? but intrigued by the notion of begging his apology, the king shall hear you out….. actually articularing out hard. hard to talk!! want, want to, hard, sorry, I'm sorry, I want to …. makes Amane just laugh cruelly and shake Tsukasa's face back and forth affectionately by the jaw. Like aaawwwwee. it's hard isn't it….. you're really getting tongue-tied about this……

but if Amane actually jovially said ahhh, its okay, the sounds you're making are interesting. it would be like . heuueuuueuugh? really….? do you like those too….? but sometimes the ardent desperation in Tsukasa is a little-- hhrghn. to receive. like ugh mmgh. sparkly-eyed at me. on instinct mentally yeah theyre stupid and funny

あ：Like ugh you Oh don't you look at me like that , I'll….

つ：much like in canon. he starts the conversation. with yashiro. about his motivations. and desires. but once she's like. please elaborate he's like mfgh. no shut up

あ：why would you ask me that

We're on the same page though, wrt thinking of Tsukasa as trying to be well-behaved generally and not make too much noise, bc Amane is often requesting NO COMMENTARY shush. and also, well the baseline is, we're trying to keep this secret, so it's in our best interest to muffle it… shhh… you have to be quiet at night…. etc.

つ：maybe a good response is to shove tsukasa's head back hard enough to donk it onto the floor and be like. don't you like to make them? you think about me too much.

あ：I lean into my bully response

つ：[like he is granting you a blessing] for just now, do as you please. don't hold it back. but i think if you say that its like [goliad voice] are you sure. but i gklsdgj;skg

あ：if master wishes…

つ：i'm like he'll like scream your name at the top of his lungs and you'll have to muffle him before the NEIGHBORS RUN IN

あ：fucking wails

つ：dont hold back. WAAAAILS SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE MURDERING HIM

あ：I hope tsukasa gets like a good stream out

"TSUKASA."

つ：i think being stopped/halted though cartoonishly is like. ? immediately is calmed

あ：blimk blimk

つ：blinks at you from behind your hand. yes amane like. ok. well. maybe hold back a little.

あ：[pinches bridge of nose] ah... we still... are in a house... don't sound like THAT unless.... we're in the middle of the woods or something, OKAY?

つ：at that level, the neighbors are gonna hear you….. [calms down from his panic response after a bit]

あ：pats your head. That was, impressive though.

つ：tsukasa mentally ❤️i don't understand❤️ i messed up again❤️ oops

あ：its never easy sweetheart

つ：amane like lol. that. was a lot, tsukasa. is that how ….'you feel'? are you sure you like me? [DESPERATE TSUKASA LIKE WHAT HAVE I BEEN SAYING!!!!? HELP!!! YEYSSS!!!] ah calm down sh shh. pet pet. I know I know you do….

あ：it just sounded. like I was really hurting you. more than anything else.

つ：[looking blankly] [thinking hard] it's big [holds…. shirt] loud….. feels…. big

あ：[leans closer] that big huh.

つ：nod nod nod

あ：[amused…] if you could be that loud… how long do you think you'd last, like that. would you lose your voice

つ：[thinks about this, contemplates seriously]…… [nods]

あ：[holds your throat like a crazy person]

つ：EOUOURGH

あ：[it's not done violently, like a threat or anything, it's more like examining someone clinically. he's got a small lopsided smile, thinking, sheesh…]

[but it is an insane move]

つ：worried you were going to squeeze my throat shut and ask me to scream now

but for a second hold on lets think. about amane holding his throat shut like a maniac and asking him to try it now… to feel the sound vibrating and trapped under his fingers, where it can't actually come out, but he can feel the intensity of it being snuffed

a murderer's urge. a paraphillic second. of… i want to see actually how hard he wants to do it. but it can't make so much sound.

あ：I was thinking Amane had sentiment of, like, "seems like it's bad you keep that inside you"

It's not fair, is it If it's so "big"… Let's see it it's because of me, after all ^^

つ：I'll just manage it on my end. I think Tsukasa would fundamentally like the exchange, as scary as it is. would like feeling the sound itself fight amane's fingers

would feel poetic… would feel so appropriate for all the struggle the sound fights in his own body itself…. hurts his throat and chest…amane making it hurt manually and fight him to escape, aaahhh

あ：It does seem so in-line with everything felt already. Mmh and Amane's role in this, dictating you…

つ：genuinely do this for a long duration…. maybe until tsukasa's eyes start threatening to just roll back from passing out. maybe amane is hypnotized for a while by just how intensely tsukasa is trying and indeed the duration…. but finally snaps. out of it like. wait I

why. wait. no I… why. wait this started with just making you say you like me… puts a hand over your mouth to silence you normally and pulls off hand…. why-- why am I doing this?

see the imprints that will bruise later, on tsukasa's throat… watch him cough and hack and sputter air and spit out of his unsealed throat

あ：Somehow chasing the impulse didn't come with the, like conscious thought at all, that this is. Choking, Tsukasa. Like Amane got so lost in the details of sound/voice, throat, muffling it

つ：curl….

あ：Ah but you know, I think hearing the wail in the first place was, in its own way, very enticing and new and novel. That it just sounded so miserable… The immediate panic was distracting, but i do think there is a desire for more of it. so the result of it sounding even more strained….

it makes you just close your hand tighter around throat

つ：mmm yes, i think despite it all, it's thrilling too, when he first heart it burst through the air…. the sheer horrifying sound

あ：made your body temperature raise but then you catch yourself like wtf. are we doing.

つ：wide-eyed watching tsukasa try to recover…. eyes squeezed shut, tearing.. mouth fighting for air…. chest heaving up and down…. shuddering breath in a sore throat

あ：Why did I. for-real hurt tsukasa.

つ：he…. just… was telling me he liked me.

あ：like, glibly had commented on it sounding like he was hurting Tsukasa. but th.

つ：leans down and hugs him…… nuzzles face arms wrapping behind his back, pulling him upwards…. but mmgh. the…. h.humps uhhhhghngg why'd i. do it… mm it sounded. good….

hump hump. while tsukasa is still trying to recover. hump and listen to him coughing intermittently feel his body limp and stiffen with the force of the coughs…

あ：hot sound. unlike anything you've heard before. Tsukasa's voice, warped becuase of your own hand....

つ：the feeling, it was 'big'… you could feel how big it was. directly. even if it hurt, the sound still tried so hard….. why didn't he ask you to stop….? why didn't he even try….

あ：I think Amane himself was also umm, like keyed into, and enjoying the abstract satisfaction of "holding" a voice, making sound curve around your fingers and such. it's like getting to clutch something immaterial, very physically. the walls of the throat bowing…

fervid hump… it's a good chaser you know I kept thinking, that like, prior to this, Tsukasa wasn't really at the "wraps legs around you" level yet. but after this you make him sicker

つ：mmmm its truueee that's something yet to unlock. appealing

あ：he's not so liberated you know but if we're this indulgent…

つ：at the very least, you break tsukasa so much by this point, his own leaning into his ardent feelings willl lead to a more childish dependence and comfort

if finally broken to just think of nothing but his adoration….. finally his body language would just become expressing that without any interruption

あ：after enough stoking , and assurance that its what Amane wants of him… it just becomes more intuitive to abide by instinctive response

つ：[self aware for a moment that this was a pretty sweet situation of amane teasing tsukasa about his love and fsr i made it about hurting tsukasa physically]

i am sorry if that is not what was wanted

あ：Oh no omg… I mean I actually went into this wanting to reach an ending where Tsukasa starts to cry w.

つ：I do think he would finally be sobbing at the end of this. and i would like amane to keep humping him and listening to it… and addressing internally that it's arousing. but. why. i don't know

あ：but i like the DANGEROUS PARAPHILIA being grazed. since i do imagine it's percolating steadily and the more serious we get the more we have to contend with it

つ：I think it's always playing with fire….. to confront the love between you naturally brushes up against what amane's…. instincts are with it

あ：Like it's literally dangerous… as is, I think it's woefully irresponsible for Amane to set up this scenario you're literally going to hurt you both with this If you reduce it to dialogue… I think it's going to get raw

>I do think he would finally be sobbing at the end of this. and i would like amane to keep humping him and listening to it… and addressing internally that it's arousing. but. why. i don't know

now this, you don't have any explanation readily for or logic. it's mystifying. but it feels really good and the momentum keeps it going. i think it's egregiously like [humps you harder than ever]

but the drop from this i think is like. the amane's that have to go on the roof to sulk it's like. if you saw two teens having sex on tanabata but the girl was, sobbing. you know that wouldnt be like. right

つ：shouldn't see someone…. bruised. feeling tsukasa shakily wrap his arms around you, and nuzzle in….. feels good to finish, and doesn't feel good to finish.

あ：somberly nuzzle back

つ：for me to be indulgent, before coming, Amane just slightly adjusts the hemm of his pants to let it spill onto tsukasa directly, and not into his own fabric. watching himself do this. both selfishly don't want to deal with cleaning yourself, and want it to hit tsukasa

for some reason, it's important.

あ：a nice detail. you manage to be so self-serving even now

つ：marking emotions….. even while feeling guilt tightening stomach…

あ：wouldn't feel right if this ended like any other time just incidentally coming in your clothes. no…

____________________

あ：Oh yeah, earlier when we were talking about stuff, it jogged a memory of a very idle thought train i had when thinking about 8yo boy RP timeline we were recently discussing. it wasn't a properly structured thing and I didn't really imagine a whole scene or have any like conclusion, but… It occurred to me that, Tsukasa having a visible injury on his throat could actually cause someone at school to notice/worry about him, and… this would be like a bizarre yet artful parallel of canon TL amane just deflecting tsuchigomori. in that, i think tsukasa is like an impenetrable wall in reality and you couldn't meaningfully wrangle him or get him to talk about anything. it'd be like confusing to him almost that you could see what was happening (All the events have felt so insular and private, everyone in the world might as well have ceased to exist)

but also just feeling nothing about a random person being concerned like :? [justin voice] that's not an apple

つ：mm yeah, I think to him it would be like. what? you can see it? it'd be like. ? not relevant to you though… it might as well be someone looking at you and reading your memories

あ：but this is happening to me not you :?

but really not troubled about any of it. oh at most you remember Amane said this is all stuff that you need to sneak past ppl it's like ahh… right…..

つ：like the teens have to hide things. thats just what this is

#22 #pre-shinjuu #playtimes #+

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