#1 going there and then not getting in the prog

[bayrut]

was invited to one of the programs i applied to's annual research day??? it's next week should i go

[mariyekos]

My brain is. Absolutely buzzing with fic ideas right now and last night I started on a new one because I felt like i had to at least get the premise down before I lost it, but now I'm nearly 6k words in and oh no I don't have time to get another longfic wip going.... I'm 140k words deep into two other longfics right now 😭 I want to get into it, but I have too many stories fighting for attention in my head and this won't end well if I hop between them all bc I want to finish something for once. Ahhhh!!! Darn you limited time.

[ailelie]

Installing Linux (Mint) as a Non-Techy Person

I've wanted Linux for various reasons since college. I tried it once when I no longer had to worry about having specific programs for school, but it did not go well. It was a dedicated PC that was, I believe, poorly made. Anyway.

In the process of deGoogling and deWindows365'ing, I started to think about Linux again. Here is my experience.

Pre-Work: Take Stock

List out the programs you use regularly and those you need. Look up whether or not they work on Linux. For those that don't, look up alternatives.

If the alternative works on Windows/Mac, try it out first.

Make sure you have your files backed up somewhere.

Also, pick up a 5GB minimum USB drive.

Oh and make a system restore point (look it up in your Start menu) and back-up your files.

Step One: Choose a Distro

Dear god do Linux people like to talk about distros. Basically, from what all I've read, if you don't want to fuss a lot with your OS, you've got two options: Ubuntu and Linux Mint. Ubuntu is better known and run by a company called Canonical. Linux Mint is run by a small team and paid for via donations.

I chose Linux Mint. Some of the stuff I read about Ubuntu reminded me too much of my reasons for wanting to leave Windows, basically. Did I second-guess this a half-dozen times? Yes, yes I did.

The rest of this is true for Linux Mint Cinnamon only.

Step Two: Make your Flash Drive

Linux Mint has great instructions. For the most part they work.

Start here:

The trickiest part of creating the flash drive is verifying and authenticating it.

On the same page that you download the Linux .iso file there are two links. Right click+save as both of those files to your computer. I saved them and the .iso file all to my Downloads folder.

Then, once you get to the 'Verify your ISO image' page in their guide and you're on Windows like me, skip down to this link about verifying on Windows.

Once it is verified, you can go back to the Linux Mint guide. They'll direct you to download Etchr and use that to create your flash drive.

If this step is too tricky, then please reconsider Linux. Subsequent steps are both easier and trickier.

Step Three: Restart from your Flash Drive

This is the step where I nearly gave up. The guide is still great, except it doesn't mention certain security features that make installing Linux Mint impossible without extra steps.

(1) Look up your Bitlocker recovery key and have it handy.

I don't know if you'll need it like I did (I did not turn off Bitlocker at first), but better to be safe.

(2) Turn off Bitlocker.

(3) Restart. When on the title screen, press your Bios key. There might be more than one. On a Lenovo, pressing F1 several times gets you to the relevant menu. This is not the menu you'll need to install, though. Turn off "Secure Boot."

(4) Restart. This time press F12 (on a Lenovo). The HDD option, iirc, is your USB. Look it up on your phone to be sure.

Now you can return to the Linux Mint instructions.

Figuring this out via trial-and-error was not fun.

Step Four: Install Mint

Just follow the prompts. I chose to do the dual boot.

You will have to click through some scary messages about irrevocable changes. This is your last chance to change your mind.

I chose the dual boot because I may not have anticipated everything I'll need from Windows. My goal is to work primarily in Linux. Then, in a few months, if it is working, I'll look up the steps for making my machine Linux only.

Some Notes on Linux Mint

Some of the minor things I looked up ahead of time and other miscellany:

(1) HP Printers supposedly play nice with Linux. I have not tested this yet.

(2) Linux Mint can easily access your Windows files. I've read that this does not go both ways. I've not tested it yet.

(3) You can move the taskbar (panel in LM) to the left side of your screen.

(4) You are going to have to download your key programs again.

(5) The LM software manager has most programs, but not all. Some you'll have to download from websites. Follow instructions. If a file leads to a scary wall of strange text, close it and just do the Terminal instructions instead.

(6) The software manager also has fonts. I was able to get Fanwood (my favorite serif) and JetBrains (my favorite mono) easily.

In the end, be prepared for something to go wrong. Just trust that you are not the first person to ever experience the issue and look it up. If that doesn't help, you can always ask. The forums and reddit community both look active.

[blossompigeon]

The embargo is up! Here's my piece for the wonderful @pythosart's Genrephone, a telephone with a twist - we draw out piece how we like, but we MUST change the genre!

I decided to go with a Prog Rock Album Cover! Interestingly, whilst I believe myself to be a certified Music Liker, my knowledge of Prog Rock is admittedly entry level. But, TWO THINGS are for certain!

The band "Eden" have approximately 18 albums with a middling fanbase, but "Return to Eden" managed to break through and get some mild commercial appeal. It resided proudly on the "1001 Albums to Hear Before You Die List", and is promptly ignored by virtue of being near Pink Floyd's entries

Anthony Fantano gave it a low 5/1

(My buddy @/ascalaphid has the whole game hosted on his website and you should check it out Right Now)

[venigni]

Markiona

Ok so...NOT posting the vid bc I'm genuinely ashamed of my performance. Thought I would have fun posting those but nah. Next playthrough, for sure, though.

THOUGHTS BELOW THE CUT (spoilers, obv)

I want to preface this by saying I am not trying to gatekeep & I genuinely do not Give A Fuck what difficulty you play at, if you use specter, throwables, etc. At the end of the day, Lies of P is a video game and it should be FUN. So play however you find FUN.

That being said, I had to drop down the difficulty for her due to time, trying to get thru the story asap so to not get spoiled, and just needing to know wtf happens, but playing her at the lower difficulty was NOT fun for me. I get very little enjoyment out of it tbh. I want to be sweating and screaming and shaking as I play. Like, that's fun to me. And I feel really sad about it but I will get over it tomorrow, probably. I just don't want ppl to think I care about that, like u do u, just for me, I'm disappointed in myself, is all. (Again I'll get over it).

I honestly haven't been reading reviews/etc. as I'm trying to avoid all spoilers, so I only know what y'all tell me in the comments. I did find out via YouTube watching Markiona vids that game difficulty scales based on your NGs so I'm really curious to see how it is on other files eventually. My PC file is only on NG+ so it should be a little easier there for me, maybe?

Up until this point I honestly didn't feel like the game was too hard. Actually it was really fun and I liked the challenge the alligator gave me, even if I ended up cheesing him (which in itself was fun). Honestly, Markiona wasn't even like...HARD it's just. IDK if it's just my build (I tried some other ones but was struggling to adapt to diff stats), but even my heaviest hits were just the tiniest light taps to her health bar. She just felt. Like. A fucking. Sponge. I didn't like that. Is this our punishment for all the people who complained about LoP bosses always having two health bars? Just make one deplete at half the rate? Slkjfslkjfslj

I enjoyed the aesthetic, all the mechanics. It seemed pointless to learn perfect blocks in this fight so I mostly dodged, which I'm not used to doing. Maybe that's why this one had a bit more of a learning curve for me? But not too bad in the end.

What I really struggled with is the speed. This is where dropping down a difficulty level really helped. In LS, there was just...no time. For anything between attacks. Gap closing, charged attacks, Legion, it was really, really difficult, and I kept animation locking myself and then I'd get blown up. That was my #1 weakness. It improved when I learned their tells, but it was still really fucking difficult with my strat.

Which was: Using Falcon Eye to yeet the puppet to have a chance to get Markiona. Doing that twice, plus chipping away at her throughout the fight, you eventually win. But it's easier said than done bc in her second half she really goes bananas with her melee attacks, and it's harder to focus on the puppet...

I think one of my issues was trying to use the bow. Like, it really doesn't do much damage, but I tried several times to use close range melee weapons and I just. Couldn't make prog with those. There was too much going on at that range.

I really like the idea of a duo fight and the animations were all really gorgeous. I loved how the puppet moved and fought. Dodging all of her attacks was really satisfying. I think she was more of a standout than Markiona herself who I just thought was kind of annoying with her blue balls......

Anyway, even though I'm sad about how it ended, esp after how much time I poured into it, it actually isn't so bad, you just really, really need to endure and that's one of my weak spots (esp since I can't hold the controller for long) so I kept getting inpatient (and animation locking myself thus getting blown into oblivion).

Curious to hear all of your thoughts, so please don't hesitate to reply / reblog with them!!! Sorry this was long. 💔

[endursent]

gss ch13 will be posted tomorrow, there's only one scene left to write but it's 3:30am and i don't think i'll be able to finish the scene, go over the chapter and edit anything i missed before i fall asleep (or do it well in case i try to tough it out lol), so i'll finish it up and post it tomorrow, yay weekend off!

i really want to finish chapter 13 this week, its looking to be busy at work during my 12hr shifts but maybe i can squeeze it through…

my biggest weakness is transitioning between scenes, i always get stuck going from one thing to another naturally 😭 i always feel like i should be adding more to a scene before moving on

[prontaentrega]

how to post songs as mp3 files and avoid copyright

a bunch of people were asking how to post music on tumblr so here's some kind of tutorial n_n there's probably a thousand better ways to do it out there but this is what i do and it works for me

Step 1: Acquiring music

Before you post any music you gotta have it as an mp3 file. Bunch of people mentioned mp3 converters but my favorite way has always been to just download discographies from blogs. You google "(band) complete discography free download" or something like that and something's bound to show up. If you've doing this for a while you'll skip this first part and go straight to the places you know will have it- here's some of my favorite blogspots for it - but they're all very specific to the stuff i listen to (mainly punk and latin american rock).

These type of sites tend to be genre-specific so if you're looking for, say, a prog rock band, maybe you'll have more luck searching for prog rock downloads websites. The older or more obscure the band, the easier it will be to find. And you'll find that a lot of these sites are not in english- you have to get comfortable visiting and downloading from sites in spanish, portuguese, russian or what have you and your life will get easier.

Don't limit yourself to blogs or music download-specific sites. Some people post album dl links on youtube. When i was in high school i downloaded The Black Parade from DeviantArt. The internet is far and wide and you can find stuff anywhere

But what if i can't find an album like this?

Alternative 1: Legally

Go find a record store and buy the album you want. You can also check the artist's bandcamp or any other website where you can buy their music and get it as a file on your pc (no streaming shit). Some albums are out there for free, legally! If you know an artist who uploads their music to tumblr you can just right click on their mp3 upload and download it directly :^)

Alternative 2: The classic

you can pretty much google youtube mp3 converter and click any link and it'll do the work. Here's a link from a safe piracy subreddit. You paste a youtube vid's link and hit convert/download etc.

I've also heard some people say Lucida is good (lets you download songs and albums by pasting the spotify/bandcamp/wtv link) but i can't say it has worked for me- always gives me a network error. But maybe it works for someone else.

Step 2: I got the music- now what?

Now you post it! Some songs (obscure or copyright-free enough) will just let you post them like that. Most songs won't. For a lot of them you'll have to add some silence or edit the metadata.

Adding silence to a song:

Option 1: Get audacity for free. Go to File > Open on the top bar and open the song you wanna add the silence to. Make sure you're at the start of the track (it says 00h00m00s at the bottom). Go to Generate > Silence... on the top bar also. Choose how long you want the silence to be, click "generate". You'll see a straight line appear at the start of the track- that means it worked. Go to File > Export > Export as MP3 to save it. You'll see a pop up where you can edit the metadata (things like artist, year, genre, etc.) i like having my audio files with metadata but for the purpose of tumblr posts you'll want to leave all that empty- if it's got that info erase it. Click "Ok". Done!

Option 2: Do it online on audiomass. Go to File > Load from Computer, open the song. Click on the white square with the S (insert silence button). Choose how long you want it to be, click "insert silence". You'll see a straight line appear at the start of the track- that means it worked. Go to File > Export/Download. Make sure it's mp3 format, i always save it as 256kbps but it's not neccessary. Click export. Done!

Some songs let you get away with only 5 or 8 seconds of silence. I try to have it be as short as possible, but most songs will need 10 seconds of silence. Sometimes even a little more, if even with the 10 seconds it doesn't let you post it try adding 0.25s more and checking.

I always play the file i just exported, to make sure everything's right.

Editing the metadata:

I'm gonna be honest i don't know how necessary this is but the audio post format works in mysterious ways so it's always better to be one step ahead. If you got it from youtube to mp3 or already added the silence then your file won't have any metadata, unless you didn't clear it when exporting from audacity. if you got it legally or pirated from any blogspot type site and didn't edit it at all it will probably have metadata. To edit it you have to right click the file > Properties, go to the "details" tab, and there you'll see things like title, author, year, genre, etc. You can just click on any section and change or erase it, then click "Ok".

As a last thing, it's generally better if the file is not saved as the song's name. Just name it anything else.

Compressing the file:

I almost forgot but there's also a size limit. I don't remember it at the moment because i've only had a problem with it once, but if you do just google "compress mp3 file" and go on any website to do it LOL

Step 3: Posting it

Now just go make a new audio post. Upload the file from your pc. If there's an error sometimes it'll tell you what it is (you don't own this song/the file is too heavy/etc) but sometimes it will just delete the audio post format and not tell you anything. If there's any error make sure you did everything (the silence, the metadata, the size, the file name). Maybe go back and add 0.5 or 1 more second of silence at the start. Sometimes tumblr just won't want you to post a song even with every step done right- nothing to do about that :( Sometimes you can try back after a while and it will let you post the song- sometimes it won't. There's no real logic to it tbh.

But if everything goes right it will upload correctly. Now you can add the song's title, artist and album info, and album art or whatever image you want n_n Hit post and done!

[sunburnacoustic]

For any Muse fans who might get frustrated about how the fandom seems to always be throwing a tantrum about new Muse songs and how much they dislike Muse's 'new directions', just a gentle assurance that the fandom has always been like this.

They were really not fond of Black Holes and Revelations when it came out, some of them didn't even believe Supermassive Black Hole was a real song. They thought it was a joke. Muse, their beloved metal-leaning hard rock band, going glitz, glam and electro? Ignoring the fact that their main man just built a whole synthesizer into his electric guitars (the XY Kaoss pad), Muse and electronic? Ignoring the arp synth on Bliss, Muse and electronic?

Supermassive Black Hole was the first single on BHAR, and the old fans were aghast. Hated it. Then when Twilight used the song and brought Muse to the attention of... well. Teenage girls, essentially, it again split the fandom into the old heads (the real, gritty rock fans, you hear me) and the airheaded dumb teenage girls that only knew them through Twilight and silly romance novels. (I hope you understand these aren't my words. It's just... fucking 2006. The 00s were horrible like that.)

They also hated Take A Bow. Despite the fact that Muse had been using the opening synth progression as an intro to Space Dementia live throughout the Absolution tour, they disliked the synths on it. They hated Invincible.

And just to balance things out, Muse in the meanwhile were having a blast: Matt doing his alien schtick in interviews, jetsetting across Europe from headline gigs and festivals to award shows, they occasionally got to take charter flights and stuff, and they were in an interesting place musically where their sound was expanding, taking inspiration from nightclub indie music like LCD Soundsystem and bussing with the Strokes (they've said Starlight was inspired by them), working up to playing some of the biggest arena and even stadium gigs of their lives. 2006 Reading Festival, their first Reading headline. Huge moment for Muse. 2007, two sold out nights at the 90,000 capacity new Wembley. All this is to say, if Muse hadn't made Black Holes the album they did, there's no way they'd be nearly as successful as they are today. So don't doubt it and don't feel bad for them! But the Muse fandom is passionate, and so you maybe heard the naysayers louder than you would with most band fandoms.

But were there detractors before Black Holes? Might surprise you, but yes! And I'm not talking about Pitchfork and the rest of the press!

This will make no sense in 2025's musical landscape and understanding of rock and guitar music, but fans hated Time Is Running Out. I've seen those old Muse messageboard threads, they did Not hold back. TIRO was a 'pop song', and so it was Bad. It was Muse selling out. Fans had heard quite a few of these songs well before release, and Muse were threatening to go 'more prog' on their third album, and it threw their OOS-loving fans a little. (Check out this interview from the archives with then-BBC Radio 1's Steve Lamacq for a sense of what was going on).

So don't worry about who hates Thought Contagion or whether fans inexplicably dislike Will Of The People, an album so classically Muse that I am forced to wonder whether the fans that dislike it and I are actually thinking about the same band when refer to them. It's been like this on The Resistance (god, they hated the symphonic bits, strings used to really rile up the anti-sentimental rock fandom. Riffs and RIFFS ONLY you hear me?), The 2nd Law got So Much Hate for Muse embracing electronic music (again, not new....) and working with Skrillex, it was the whole reason the 'back to basics, back to our rock roots' idea even popped into the band's head when going in to make Drones. Matt's talked about the well, fan pressure to sound a certain way on the song Pressure, and Simulation Theory itself got a lot of agitated fan responses.

The interesting thing with Muse is that despite it all, the reason why they are still such a widely loved band is that people come around to their albums. At the end of the day, it is fantastic music. Well written, incredibly forward-thinking and genre-blending. Fans' love for Muse keeps them giving the newer albums another chance, and you will often see this in most Muse Youtube comment sections (or other places), there are many comments about how their songs grew on fans. They like them after a few listens. It's just about trusting the band to be good at their job and make incredible music, and I can't give up on Musers despite all my above qualms because they do still have that love and trust. Don't worry about it.

Also, about BHAR specifically (and this is me citing some sources), someone asked about it on the Muse reddit a little while ago and it'll basically confirm what I just told you. Very interesting insight into the place rock music occupied in popular music at the time (in opposition to other genres, the rebellion genre if you will, as opposed to Just Another Popular Genre. That's a whole post in itself). Don't worry about it.

[sugar-petals]

I screamed when I saw Tim on your feed yes we love a pretty guitar man

finally a fellow Tim Henson enthusiast!! 🎉

guess we have a type (= overqualified youtube twink w/ a futuristic fashion sense aka the best young guitarist out there 🗣).

risky post incoming cuz he's HOT & i love hands

[for those who don't know who this pretty boy is: tim's yt | tim's ig | tim's twt | about his band polyphia]

i agree he's gorgeous: jealousy magnet, mr henson has it all!!

- the delicious ink 😍 (neck tattoo: the sign of a masochist)

- 0% gravity hair (those fluffy waves! looking so soft tim, geez 🤒)

- the sexy 8 string guitar, cause he can, how does he do that??

- the alt beauty (tim radiates haughty expensive power bottom who talks back to get punished ngl, he's prog rock's #1 it boy)

-the sweater game, all day, every day (unmatched)

-the best technique. ice cold (easily most proficient hands in the music biz as of lately 😏 people either 1. hate him to the death or 2. need him carnally for this lmao, love me a polarizing guitar prodigy)

-A WHOLE FEMBOY BODY (even his ass is huge as of recently!! and the waist keeps getting smaller helpp)

I'm going feral over his body linee don't @ me!! how smokin' could anyone be??

-the actual live skills, not just yt editing (needless to say! any straight or bi man should be able to move his fingers like that hhh there I said it 😂 tim keeps the standards as high as he is lmao)

-the studio (oh the things that should be happening on that chair! ...anyways: it's so modern but not boring, i like it)

-the stylish guitars with the floral fretboards (guitar fuckers assemble!!! finally nylon strings are back thanks to him 💕)

-even more gorge guitars YES model it for us legend!!

-plus he's got an all-round good taste in everything. quality is key! composition and character is always a matter of taste. but timmy never dropped a bad video, bad promo, bad album covers, bad vlogs, bad cinematography, bad advert, bad ig post, bad anything. he's always the sassiest gnc slayer short king golden boy in the room doing the most 👑

...and seriously tho tim being texan youth i respect him defying the status quo!! that's real rock'n'roll☝️ he dressed for women and tops on the internet just to serve and confound some boomers along the way! prince would be proud 😎

homophobes leaving him anti-androgynous/misogynist/bodyshaming comments just can't cope with the sexiness, which he never compromised🤘 i truly pronounce tim bi ppls' favorite. since apparently nobody except the guitar community wants him we now own this man 🔥

-BONUS: last but not least look at this silver ibanez. look at it! tim is a design and aesthetics icon i rest my case... that many people still don't know about him is beyond me. he deserves all the clout!

i mean even personally... he's the kinda guy where you don't know if you came for the looks/fit or the skills and you stay for both! his playing style never disappoints. i always look forward to him dropping new material. tell me what your fave tim piece to listen to is ❤️

[moonchild-in-blue]

Live reaction notes of The Metal Roundup interview with George Lever. Loads of paraphrasing and Georgie being just a sweetheart and funny and yeah 🥺

This whole section of him talking about the importance of drums and how they determine so much of the song - YES. I've exhausted my fingers yapping about how his work on drums is just right and so noticeable (the thing I really really miss from his days working with Sleep Token), but. Gosh. He's just soooooo. No wonder he and ii have such great synergy - he understands him in a way you can feel in your bones and. Ugh. Yeah 😔

"I'm a problem with solver" "bits and bobs" funny but also an amazing quality as someone who does everything from a producing standpoint. I love how knowledgeable he is

"I really love drums" - it's his favourite thing to record; "drums determine how low you go and the energy"

Friction is normal and okay; it stems from miscommunication and it's my job to communicate that better; I don't care if you get pissed off - I just care that you find a solution to resolve your problem.

About miscommunication - it's better for me to learn their vocabulary to better communicate a message than it is for them to learn mine.

"hearing the stuff you've worked on is kinda like watching yourself have sex"

- on why he doesn't listen to the things he's finished. Lmaoooo Georgie 😭😭

We love a man that admits his limitations and recognises what needs/ could have been improved. Also he's so humble about it, augh 🥺

YOU'RE NOT RUNNING OUT OF TIME you're so right George. Also shut up, I don't wanna be called out

The little Jared Leto dig lmaooooo

Love how he actual takes time to truly listen and process what's being said before commenting on it. Small thing but it's such a wonderful character trait.

"When something is good, it's never talked about. When something is funny or viral or bad - especially really bad- that's all you'll hear. There is no encouragement to make something good beyond that instant gratification moment"

To know you can affect someone with just a chord change is mental

About how important it is to take the time to truly learn and understand how to write music that is good and interesting beyond the cheap thrills

HELL YEAH BILMURI SPEAK ON IT STEVE WOOOO CRANK THAT MF HOG

"Most people will have the opportunity to be great - it just takes time to understand what that thing is" OKAY GEORGE WE LOVE THAT 🥹💙🥹💙

PIANO MAN 👁️👄👁️ okay

"I never understood where do they stop and where do I begin" AND WHAT IF I CRY AND SOB AND SHID AND FARD AND WAIL

on listening to Sleep Token as an outsider for the first time.

Love how he's able to pinpoint what works/didn't ; what he would do different - while still appreciating and understanding who they are and their identity as a band outside of his influence

Oh he took his driver's license while working on Sundowning 🥺🥺🥺 the rain 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 crying sobbing wailing

Higher is the fav LET'S GOOOO. She is EVERYTHING

"Some of the best moments of my adult life existed while making those [Sleep Token] records"

He's been there since day 1 that's insane. George you're so incredible.

"the band vouched for me to do Sundowning and that's not normal and they took a huge risk and that was so special" OKAY 😭🤧

🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

I love friendship I love love wow incredible

"in that moment [Sundowning] I was just there for me and my friends. The worked really hard to get there and I really wanted it to go well" 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

- on if there ever was a penny-drop moment during the Sundowning making process

"Lots of really fun stuff; was focused on just being there" 😭💔

LOVE seeing him talk about his dad and how he was encouraged to do what made him happy regardless of the payback 🥺 Papa Lever HUGE W 🥺

"there's nothing wrong with wanting to make money, or to be famous, or to just create - it's how you apply it to your needs" OKAY WISE MAN LET'S GO

"all i do is work on prog bands and everyone thinks they're metalcore" lmaoooo

About going into Tomb after Sundowning:

1st day on the album was the day lockdown started; very difficult for everyone involved

They were locked in together in his studio site 😭 that's so funny but also then they had to be apart for over a year 🥺🥺🥺🥺 "estranged" AUGH 🥺

(later on commenting on it)

Felt a bit anti-climatic when it was done because of how apart they were from each other due to Covid lockdowns

TELOMERES LOVE LET'S GO 💙💙💙

Like That ; Mine

"they you read- ;the different fish thing - did that ever get solved" SHUT UP

The coordinates were identified and the fish were too but I suppose it was based on something else and WHAT IS IT. IS THERE ANYTHING BEYOND THE WHALE FALL THING. GEORGE. SPILL THE TEA

"Sundowning was 3 months with some of my favourite people in the world and Tomb was not and I felt robbed of that" SOMEONE HUG GEORGE RIGHT NOW

RADIOHEAD MENTION LET'S GO YOUR BRAIN IS HUGE AND ALSO BIG muse too let's gooo

His music taste is elite 🥺😔😔😔😔 king behaviour i fear 😔😔😔😔

Diplomatic answers on what he felt about Eden

I understand why he's being so evasive about the actual music and good for him. There are way too many eyes on him now and one wrong word can snowball into something nasty and huge. Good for you.

"they tried a conventional video for Tomb but it felt weird" EXCUSE ME. Honey I love you but don't you DARE badmouth the Tomb videos, they're great 🥺🥺🥺🥺

"Have you listen to the album [EIA] in full?" "Some of it" "Any initial thoughts?" "Yes 🙂" LMAOOOO okay I hear you 👍

As much as I'd love to hear his real feelings about post-Tomb Sleep Token, he is being so so smart about not going into it. He's there as Lever the producer, and as someone in the music industry, regardless of how close you are privately with a band, you need to be careful on how you phrase some things. Great job on diverting the conversation tho, I see you 👀

"of course I know Science, I love Incubus" KING BEHAVIOUR ELITE TASTE LET'S GO

(after a long ass tangent) "I don't really know if we knew; just anything goes"

On what Sleep Token's sonic world looked like when recording

Lmao not the accidental quasi-name drop

That's such a great way to put it tbh

"Even In Arcadia" is the one he would've liked to have done 🥺🥺🥺 and the piano part of Look To Windward YES I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN GEORGE I'VE BEEN SAYING YES AUGH 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Kpop crossover to metal GEORGE COME ERE AND KISS MY MOUTH RN ACTUALLY

All in all great interview, loved that last part where they just talked shop and went on about how find stuff that works as a short cut to allow for more time spent on the creative side of it. George is such an interesting person to hear, and you can tell just how much he loves making music and helping OTHERS make music.

[girl-dot-tzt]

Alright results are in, I'm not allowed to finish for 36 days 🙃

Im going to update this as a lil diary to keep me honest💃

Day 1: I'm feeling pretty good, I notice I get really horny when I take my prog the ✨️fun way✨️ so I'm going to use that method to increase the challenge this month. I'm thinking of meeting a friend tomorrow so I'm excited!

Day 2: more of the same, pretty standard, had a great time with said friend. Getting a teeny but pent up but nothing crazy yet.

Day 3: getting more pent up but it's still manageable, made the mistake of reading a ton of horny posts and getting myself really horny. Thankfully I calmed down and now I'm good to go

Day 4: went to work, did some bike wrenching, now im boutta sleep. pretty uneventful but I'm meeting a good friend of mine tomorrow so I plan on making up for the lack of horny twofold. I need to get some Oregonian mutuals bc I'd like to bite someone :3

Day 5: got my tits fondled for like 3 hours while I watched anime and got insanely high, I need like 4 people to hold me down and grope/tease/fuck me... preferably all at once. I've got 31 more daysssssss, does it count if it's hands free? 🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️

Day 6: got no sleep, very horny, idk what direction Is up, and I need an answer to the question from yesterday 😫

Day 7: got sleep but not railed because if I get railed too well I'll could possibly finish and idk if that's OK yet :3. I'm going to mountain bike today! I'm super excited bc I need something to take the edge off, if I'm really unlucky I'll get too horny from the idea of getting fucked in the woods and make an update here.

Day 8: we're evening out a little, this may not be impossible, tbf I haven't had time to do much lately so when I finally get the time to ride my toys that might change. I'm planning on doing that tomorrow :3

Day 8 update: I accidentally took two progesterone pills because I boof mine, but I accidentally muscle memory-ed taking my prog orally. Got so horny during work that I nearly cried.

Day 9: I broke some spokes while mountain biking and now I'm sad, but horny and frustrated too. I can only think about being bred, but also being sad that my bike broke, damn fucking stupid sticks getting inbetween my fucking spokes. I need railed bad, etcetera etcetera

Day 10:

Girl abs, that is all

Day 11: I'm going to fuck myself on the biggest toy I own until I'm crying or edging with my Pspot🧍‍♀️ I will return

Day 12: I'm pretty sure I ended up getting edged. Pretty sure because I've never actually finished hands free before and my vibrator died right before I was about to finish. One of you witchy mother fuckers knew I was about to cheat or something, no other explanations, couldn't possibly be that I forgot to charge toys like a dumbass. Laugh it up, I got edged hard by my ADHD.

Days 13: I had a threesome and it was awesome! I explained my agreement to them and got teased a bunch as me and my friend dommed the fuck out of a gorgeous girl. We groped and kissed and sucked all over her body as she got more and more worked up, until eventually I was fucking her with my big purple vibrator and she came hands free for the first time! We made sure to shower her with all kinds of praise and congratulations 💃💃

Days 14-16: started a new job, I'm getting so horny these days that rather than feeling butterflies it's like an almost painful NEED. Like I just desperately need to get tied up and ground into dust, getting edged with my vibrator did a number on me because I'm a mess rn😆

Days 17-20: if I may be honest i embarked on this endeavor to try to finish hands free, I've never done it before but I desperately want to. I think I'll be able to do it by the end of these 36 days or sooner. Idk it's just a hunch🧍‍♀️

Day 21-29: 10 hr shifts in a lab will drive you nuts when there's nothing to think about but getting railed and ice cream percentages. On the plus side I am not only paid but required to eat ice cream every hour at my job. On the downside, I got so horny I cried last night🧍‍♀️😵‍💫😵‍💫

[emluvirzo]

Hello there! I would love to read a cute Sirius x reader OS where they end up in detention together. They don't really like each other but get closer and closer...

Hope that sounds interesting to you as well :)

Thanks in advance💕

notes: hi ! so this definitely took a while for me to get to (so sorry about that) but here it is (pls have mercy, it has been so long since I wrote anything). i tried to compensate by making it detailed and lengthy. for writing sake, I tried to make the annoyance more on the reader's side, and Sirius his usual, charming self, enjoy <3 if you want a part 2 with fluff or just a continuation, then lmk !! word count: 3845 part 1 | part 2 (in prog)

The Trophy Room - Sirius Black x Reader OS (Pt 1)

The insufferable prat sauntered into detention like he owned the bloody place — mind you when he wasn't surrounded by the other idiots he called his friends, it was usually the first port of call for where to find him.

“Hello, stranger.” He said in a bemused tone, as though he were oddly pleased to find Y/N here, of course he’d be, the twat. She rolled her eyes in sheer displeasure, an annoyed and large exhale through her nose - an attempt to not rip her hair out or swing at his face (not that it would necessarily be a bad thing).

“Go away, Sirius.” She grumbled as he conveniently chose the other end of the back row Y/N was sitting at. The clock clicked quietly with every agonisingly slow second that passed as he mumbled a "Sorry, sorry, just trying to lighten the atmosphere." in that sing-songy, unfailingly insufferable tone of his, as her face burned up slightly, the blood pounding in her ears.

The door pushed open, and in walked Professor Minerva McGonagall, her lips pressed into a thin line, arms crossed as she walked in, though Y/N's eyes were practically burning a hole into the dent on the desk that her eyes had trained onto as a form of distraction from the black haired boy on the other end of the row.

"Miss L/N, Mr Black, please get up and bring your things with you." Her voice cut through the silence of the classroom. Which was shortly rebroken by hers and Sirius' chairs scraping against the floor as they both moved to stand, grabbing her bag from the floor in the process. Trying to block out Sirius' relentless pestering of McGonagall as they walked through the corridors to wherever the two were being taken for their task to detention proved to be a challenge. "Do you ever shut up, Black?" She griped, only loud enough for him to hear, which she also assumed he ignored or didn't hear at all as it didn't elicit a response other than the smirk on his face widening ever so slightly and he continued to pester McGonagall.

The torches on the wall flicked and danced in the blanket of winter darkness that filled the corridors of the castle, which Y/N took note of, it almost being a comfort to her as she walked in silence. But his voice continued to filter through her thoughts, the way his laugh bounced off the walls of the now narrowing corridors. How... frustrating. How frustrating that he was treating being guided to detention as an excursion. How he never took anything seriously, even in classes, but still managed to come out on top, or in the vicinity of it. Y/N subtly shook her head, an attempt to somehow clear her mind, as though shaking it would detract from the fact she was trailing behind him and McGonagall with what was a more than sour expression on her face.

They eventually came to a stop in front of a familiar room, the trophy room. She internally groaned, the dread filling every crevice of her body. Her hands were going to be dead by the end of it.

"- that's enough chatter from you this evening, Mr Black. Now, both of you are well aware of where we are." McGonagall gave them both a pointed look "You both know the rules. Have everything polished and done by dinner. I'm sure you're both exceptionally experienced by now and have learnt to do this efficiently. You in particular, Mr Black." To which Y/N saw Sirius' smirk widen into a wolfish, mischievous grin from out of the corner of her eye, his hands shoved deeply into his pockets, shirt untucked, tie loose around his neck, hair unfailingly messily styled. Sirius' eyes flicked over to Y/N, her own eyes instantly averting the minute she realised she may have been caught.

As McGonagall's footsteps echoed as she left Sirius and Y/N, an odd silence between them as they stood in front of the door. Sirius, with his bag slung casually over one shoulder, started to roll his sleeves up as he walked in first. She tailed him and chucked her bag into a corner as she rolled her own sleeves up, blissfully unaware of the weight of his eyes on her back as he leaned against the wall, between 2 of the trophy cases.

The silence filled the room as she opened the cleaning supplies cabinet, she grabbed a rag, throwing it over her shoulder and the polish spray, when she heard "I never took you for the eager type, L/N.". His voice was a lazy drawl, an almost amused lilt to his otherwise deep and smooth voice.

Her jaw clenched as she moved to the farthest trophy case, near the door, but despite her resolve, she shot back— "Well unlike you, some of us have better things to do and don't live in detention.". She didn't bother to look back at him as she opened the trophy case and pulled them all out, placing them safely on the floor. Y/N picked up a quidditch trophy from the floor first and started to work on it absent-mindedly, silently fuming that she was there, to begin with, internally monologuing how this was all Sirius' fault.

As she worked on the trophy, she noticed it had been awfully silent and she turned back to glance at him, where he was still leaning between two of the cases, but his eyes were trained on her.

"What're you looking at, Black? Don't tell me you still don't know how to polish? With your reputation, aren't you meant to have done this a million times by now?" She questioned, her face slightly scrunched up in both scrutiny and confusion, ignoring the way her eyes kept trailing down to his forearms. How stupid. Rolled up sleeves to not even actually do any work. Could he get any more obnoxious?

"'Course I know how to polish, L/N, I reckon I'm better at it than you are. I just prefer to supervise." He mused as he watched her eyes narrow, the frustration on her face obvious. However, he did notice how her eyes kept flitting to his forearms. A thrill of satisfaction ran through his body as his charming, lopsided grin made its way onto his face. He subtly flexed them, his veins rising slightly.

Her hand tightened its grip on the trophy, the other clenched into a fist around the damp rag as she glared at him, her eyes cold and unfailingly held his gaze. They stayed like that, their eyes connected across the room from each other as the air in the room crackled. They were at a stalemate as she was determined to win. They stayed like that for a solid 30 seconds as she watched Sirius' grey eyes flick through a cycle of emotions. Surprise, amusement, then finally, resignation.

"You've got an attitude, L/N, you realise that, right?" He mused as he sauntered towards the supplies cupboard, grabbed a rag of his own and sprayed some of the product onto it. He walked to the trophy case next to her, and opened it, putting all the trophies on the floor, the same way she did. She side-eyed him as she internally cursed him out, before she retorted back, rising to the bait "And what? You think you're Merlin's gift to wizarding society? You've got so much bloody attitude you could share it with the rest of the wizarding population and still have enough left over to remain an insufferable, stuck-up prat."

Sirius' shock, turned into a shit-eating grin "Oh yeah? That's what you think of me, L/N? An 'insufferable, stuck-up prat'? You do know how to wound my feelings, darling." He clutched his chest dramatically, as he kept glancing towards her, trying to gauge her feelings and reaction to his own dramatic display of antics, which despite her anger, was mildly amusing. She fought to keep her expression painfully neutral, though she couldn't quite stop the way her mouth slightly twitched upwards.

"You're not funny." She said curtly as she quickly stamped away any amusement she may have felt.

They settled into a comfortable silence as they worked, her eyes occasionally flitting over to him. Just to check his progress. At least that's what Y/N told herself, just to make sure he was actually polishing. She took note of the way he hummed familiar riffs under his breath, catching notes of certain lyrics, a lot of Queen and Bowie, she noticed. He had good taste. She'd give him that. The way his eyebrows furrowed ever so slightly as he worked on a particularly dull plaque. The way the smell of polish filled the room as well as the smell of... leather, smoke... some form of oud...? The smell of his shampoo. She blinked rapidly a couple times as she realised what she was thinking and flushed slightly

"You missed a spot." He murmured as he leaned closer to her, causing Y/N to jump slightly at not only the sudden proximity, but the sheer surprise of him breaking the fragile silence.

"No, I didn't." She replied as she glanced at him, then looked back to the plaque, her eyes running over it just to confirm her own belief.

He said nothing, but with a graceful and swift move of his hand, swiped his rag over a spot, the metal gleaming under the candlelight that filled the room. "You were saying?" He raised an eyebrow, an amused smirk on his lips. He clucked his tongue, as he shook his head in mock disappointment "I thought I was meant to be a 'stuck-up prat'? Told you I was better at this than you." He gloated with mock cockiness. She looked up at him their faces now only separated by a few inches as he leaned down. His grey eyes locked onto hers as they glinted with amusement, that stupid smirk plastered onto his face.

"Pretentious, cocky arse, too." She grumbled, "Add that to the list of adjectives people would use to describe you."

The more she snapped back, the more Sirius tried to dampen the feelings of genuine hurt that stung, his smirk faltering. He knew he played up an act, a persona to everybody. That was very much part of his whole personality, what made him who he was to the rest of the school, nix James, Remus and Peter. He tried to keep the mask on his face but he faltered for a second when he heard her add the last bit. 'Add that to the list of adjectives people would use to describe you.'. He didn't understand why it stung so much. Sure he had shared classes with her for so long, but he'd always acted like this. This wasn't exactly new behaviour. The rest of his classmates found him amusing to some degree, but not her? Why not her? It confused him, how she was immune to it.

She felt instantly bad when she saw him withdraw and settle back into silence, a different type of silence this time. They continued to polish, making their way in a circuit around the trophy room. Sirius' quiet humming and mumbled lyrics stopped, the only sound was the occasional opening and closing of trophy cases, the clink of trophies against the glass shelves. The silence dragged on until they were both on the last 4 trophy cases, 2 cases each.

"Why do you hate me-" "I'm sorry-"

They stared at each other for a second, both their hands stopping any motion of polishing as they looked between themselves and the trophies they each held.

Sirius spoke up first before she could even process what he had asked her, repeating his question. "Why do you hate me so much, L/N?" which caused her to blink a couple times in shock. She couldn't tell if he was being serious but she gave him an answer anyway.

"You're so... unserious. About everything. About people around you, about your studies, about who you hurt in those stupid pranks of yours. You lack of consideration for others. Basic empathy. You're... you're arrogant and reckless. And... and... you're just an arse, okay?" She ranted, Y/N's chest rose and fell a little faster as she tried to catch her breath from the sheer speed at which she spoke.

"Our pranks don't hurt anybody unless they deserve it!" He replied defensively, his face now shaped into a scowl, his knuckles turned white from gripping the trophy so strongly.

"And who are you to decide that? You aren't a higher-up being. Just cause you come from the family you come from doesn't mean-"

He froze, and a white-hot rage burned through his body. It seared through him — nobody but his best friends knew about his family and home life. Sirius knew exceedingly well the stereotypes that followed his last name. The fact that Regulus was the pinnacle of what was meant to be 'The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black' didn't help his case. Especially since it had been spread around that his place as heir had been handed down to his younger brother, though it was kept under wraps as to why. "Finish that sentence. I dare you. Don't you dare bring my family into this. You know fuck all about me."

Y/N in her own rage, didn't see the warning signs, the way his pupils shrunk, his body language resemblant to that of a dog about to bite. "So tell me then- what makes you so special that you get to decide who gets to be the target of your and your friend's stupid pranks. They're childish and obnoxious and quite frankly, distasteful."

"What makes you so fucking special that you get to decide if they're childish or obnoxious? Cause from where we're standing, the only person who seems to have a stick up their arse about it is you."

"Yeah well, they're idiots too. Birds of a feather flock together, Black."

The air was thick with unsaid words, the anger heating what once was the ice-cold trophy room. She took a breath and tried to calm herself. She let her eyes trail over him, reading his body like a book. His silhouette was oddly familiar to her, from watching him slink in late to class, or from him being in her eyeline in their class' seating plans. His usually relaxed body was taut, tightly strung like that of a bow. Her heart sank and her expression faltered. She'd hit a nerve and she realised it too late.

"Sirius-" she started, the use of his first name unfamiliar to her tongue. Unusual, yet not quite unwelcome, her heart raced in her chest as she looked up at him, her head cocked ever so slightly to the right "I'm sorry. I didn't realise-" She tried again, but the words refused to come, tangled between thought and feeling.

Sirius took a step forward, opening his mouth to speak when the door to the trophy room aggressively swung open, revealing Filch.

"Well, well, well. Look what we have here." Filch delightedly wheezed as he leaned against the doorframe to support his weight. He stood there, his rounded frame prevented the light from the corridor from flooding into the otherwise dimly lit trophy room.

"Caught red-handed." He said gleefully, crooked yellow teeth beaming at Sirius and Y/N as the smell of mildew, dampness and sweat filled the room. "Detention won’t be enough this time. Oh no, I’ll see to it myself—proper punishments, the way things should be."

Y/N and Sirius' heads snapped towards the door at the sudden intrusion, their eyes flitting from Filch, then to each other, before Y/N spoke up in an attempt to pacify Filch, unaware of their close proximity to each other. "We're nearly done," She said quickly "We have these last few cases then we'll leave for dinner, Sir."

Her voice was steady, polite and practiced. Though Sirius was ignoring the exchange, uncaring of any threats of further punishment Filch threatened them with. Sirius' eyes never returned to look at Filch. For a fleeting moment, he forgot Filch was even there.

Instead, they remained trained on her, the flickering torchlight cast a warm glow across her face, adding a glow to her skin he had only ever noticed occasionally, like when she'd lounge by the fireplace in the common room, laughing with her friends. His frustration from earlier—the heat of his anger—seemed to melt away, tempered by something else entirely.

He wasn’t sure what it was. Only that looking away felt impossible.

"If you're not done by dinner, I'll make sure your second punishment is worse." Filch sneered, spittle spraying onto the floor.

Y/N gave a curt nod. They both watched as he huffed out of the room, the door slamming shut behind him. His grumbling echoed down the corridor, the sound seeping in through the crack beneath the door.

"Let's hurry up and get out of here. I don't fancy being stuck in another detention." She said quietly as she turned back to her trophy case.

She reached for her rag once more and instead found her fingers brushing against his, as he picked it up to hand to her, his gaze averted as he held it out towards her. A feigned nonchalance. She took it from him, muttering a quiet thanks. A fleeting touch—barely there, but enough to send a spark up her arm. He didn’t pull away immediately, nor did she. His fingers reluctantly released the rag and she slowly started to polish her trophy once more. Only now, she was under Sirius' gaze, a new curiosity had been sparked in him.

The act in itself now felt, awkward. Unnatural. The weight of his gaze was heavy on her shoulders, though she wasn't imagining it. He had gone back to leaning back against the wall, absent-mindedly and lazily polishing his own trophy, though his eyes were focused on her. He eventually gave up the pretense of polishing the trophy and instead just stared at her. He wasn't even pretending to work anymore. His gaze was no longer teasing, menacing, nor angry; instead it was thoughtful, almost considering, though his lips carried the same insufferable smirk she was well acquainted with.

"You’re staring," she murmured, not looking up from the trophy she was polishing, focused on a particularly difficult smudge that she was failing to remove.

Sirius tilted his head, his gaze unwavering. "You really don’t like me, do you?"

Y/N sighed, rubbing at it, getting progressively more frustrated with the fact it was unfleeting. "You make it very easy."

"And yet," he mused, watching her, "you almost sounded sorry earlier."

She continued to buff out the trophy, Y/N's eyebrows furrowed as she delved into her thoughts. After a moment, she spoke up "I am. About me making a jab about your family. It was a low blow." She sighed. "I'm not entirely sure what the deal is there — not that it's any of my business, y'know. Everybody has their own crap to deal with. It wasn't right of me to make an assumption. So yeah. I'm sorry, Sirius."

Sirius blinked, taken aback and caught off guard. Of all the things he’d expected her to say, that definitely wasn’t one of them. He had braced himself for another sharp retort, another exasperated sigh. Instead, she was… apologising. He didn’t know what to do with that. From what he had heard of her in passing from watching her, he knew she didn't apologise and not mean it.

His smirk faltered, just slightly, before he quickly pulled the mask back over and redressed his bravado.

"So you are sorry," his smirk widened as he tilted his head, and a glint of satisfaction flicked in the silver depths of his eyes. "And here I thought you just enjoyed taking the piss out of me."

She huffed, going back to her polishing. "I do." Though her eyes flit to meet his, a flash of amusement and what seemed to be warmth seeped through.

His lips curled. "Ah, well, that’s reassuring." He lazily ran a hand through his hair, letting it fall however he pleased. Annoyingly gorgeous. Could he get any more frustrating?

They lapsed into silence again, but this time it wasn’t thick with tension or resentment. It was… different. Warmer, somehow. As though the weight of any lingering resentment or confusion had been cleared. A breath of fresh air.

By the time 6pm rolled around, it was time for dinner and Y/N had finished polishing the last plaque. She let out a soft sigh of relief as she clicked the glass cabinet shut and lightly shook out her hands in an attempt to alleviate the cramp that she knew would inevitably set in. As she clicked the cabinet shut, Sirius stretched with a lazy groan, arms high over his head. His shirt lifted just slightly at the movement, and Y/N forced herself to focus on anything but that. Anything but the slither of skin that was exposed.

"Finally free," he drawled, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "Come on, then. I’ll walk you down." He slinked towards the door and opened it.

She glanced at him as she walked towards the door, one brow raised. "Is that a kind gesture I hear? I should pinch myself."

"Don’t be ridiculous," he smirked. "I’m just making sure you don’t go around badmouthing me again, or find another reason to label me an 'insufferable prat' before we even make it to dessert." To which she rolled her eyes at him and walked out, the sound of her footsteps bounced off the walls of the corridor. The tension still clung to the air between them. Y/N told herself she imagined it—that it was nothing. But then she felt it.

The faintest brush of his fingers against hers as they walked.

Sirius fell into step beside her, their shoulders barely brushing. It was an innocent touch, the kind that wouldn’t normally matter.

So why did it? It shouldn't... have an effect.

She begged her heart to stop racing and for her stomach to settle, playing it off as excitement for dinner. Nothing more. Surely not.

When they finally made it to the Great Hall, Sirius and Y/N stood and stared at each other for a second, glancing over at the spot where either of them sat, and discovered that today, their friend groups had merged, most likely as a result of the fact that one key member of each had detention. Y/N slid into her usual seat next to Lily, reaching for a goblet of pumpkin juice. Across from her, James nudged Sirius with his elbow, an exaggerated waggle of his brows.

"So. You two looked cozy coming in together," he teased.

Sirius scoffed, shoving a roll into James’ mouth before he could say anything else. "Eat your dinner, Prongs."

[girl-failure]

Transwoman needs answers

this isnt an easy post to write and it's going to be full of info about me that's personal and embarassing but I am desperate for answers and assitance so please bear with me. Long story short, im almost 3 years hrt (may 19th will be exact) and it's like nothing has changed. More info under the cut.

I'm going to try and explain everything to the best of my memory, but exact dosages and stuff might be fuzzy and inexact. I began HRT on May 19th 2021, when I was 22. I took one and a half 2mg pills, twice (morning and night) daily. I took them sublingually. I was also prescribed Spironolactone, though the exact dose escapes me (i remember it was 1 pill nightly). I had only come out as trans in the December the previous year, so i considered myself unfathomably lucky to get to start so soon. I had done this through informed consent at a planned parenthood and was excited by the possibility of a future where my own body didn't make me want to die. The idea of changing my body gave me a feeling of control in my life that had been entirely absent until that point. I knew I wanted all the help I could get with breast development (the women in my immediate family are well endowed) and I had read & heard from other trans women that prog could help, but I'd have to wait to ask for it.

I think it was on December 15, 2021, I was officially prescribed 100 progesterone nightly. At this point I had began to notice softer skin, lighter hair, the few bits of acne left over from high school had gone entirely, and the inklings of breasts beginning to form. My libido had all but dissipated entirely at that point, but I was told (mostly by other trans women) it would come back, especially after starting prog, and that my body would likely experience pleasure differently, and that my orgasm would be very different. The fat from my stomach (i wasn't overweight or underweight, i was pretty average for a man my height, but I did have a masculine stomach I despised) hadn't relocated at all, but I knew HRT wasn't a sprint, but a marathon, and I had a long way to go. This continued for a long time, eventually i would be bumped up to two 2mg of E (sublingual pill) twice daily (8mg total), and my Spiro would change to 200mg a day EDIT: My Spiro dosages did fluctuate, though again I don't recall the exact dosages, (I initially got it confused with my prog dosage, sorry), though there was the occasional few week period where I'd be bumped back down to one and a half E pills because I had timed my blood-work poorly. It had been a while since starting HRT and I was starting to worry. My libido never came back, I was unable to feel the sensation of pleasure entirely, my breasts & nipples never became sensitive or had growth pains, and my breasts really hadn't grown at all. My stomach still made me feel awful and masculine because fat continued to pile up there instead of in the feminine places I was told and led to believe it should!!! I was scared and frightened and upset. I'd say I developed an eating disorder but my eating was already disordered. I was afraid of food. Afraid it'd just make me look manly, instead of going to my hips/waist/whatever and breasts like it was supposed to. I began to feel like the hrt that was supposed to save my life was just making me feel worse.

On October 23rd, 2023, I finally started seeing a doctor again after 9 years of not being able to afford it, and only then because a parent got insurance through their work. I was officially prescribed Estradiol Valerate (.3mL intramuscular, and the bottle itself is 20mg/mL) , and quit Spiro outright. Now that I was talking to a doc, especially one who had been working with trans people in my area for years, I was starting to have hope again that maybe injections would solve my problems. After all, they're supposed to be more powerful right? Well after some blood-work revealing that my T levels were so low they were undetectable, we started fiddling with my injection dosages. I went down to .25mL. Nothing changed. I went down to .2ml. Nothing changed. I stayed at .2mL and was prescribed a med called EstraTest (.625mg E and 1.25mg T), a single pill which has both E and T in it, to try and raise my T levels back to measurable levels and hopefully find that golden ratio of E and T where maybe my body will start working again and start changing. But that brings us today. I still don't feel any sensation of pleasure (masturbating is pointless, intimacy just feels like I'm disappointing my partner), let alone a female orgasm (which as embarrassing as it is to admit, I was really looking forward to), my nipples still don't get sensitive and my chest doesn't get sore or get growing pains. My breasts look the same way they did 4 months into hrt. I've still had practically no fat redistribution, though I've gotten better about eating and not being afraid of food. I'm even beginning to notice my acne slowing starting to come back. I feel like I'm losing my mind. Why has nothing worked? Why does it feel like I'm regressing? I lost my health insurance earlier this week, and I can't afford to see my doctor again with my dumb pizza delivery job, so I haven't been able to ask to try anything more drastic to try and fix these issues. My current theories are that maybe my body is just more resistant to E? Which would be awful, but might be handled by just tripling my dose or something? Or

that my receptors are fried, and that the only solution would be to stop taking my HRT for a while (maybe even a long while). I pray that isn't the case, because I'd sooner off myself then let my body regress any further.

So this is a call for help. If anyone has any idea what could be causing these problems for me, or knows how I might be able to fix them, PLEASE let me know. I've lost hope in having a future as a woman, or even just feeling apathy towards my body (instead of intense self-loathing) at this point.

Here's my ca$happ if anyone wants to throw some money my way and maybe I'll be able to see the doctor again. cash.app/$occultChloe

[seventh-sojourn]

HALLO!! :D

Who would each of your friends be as a progger in an alt universe, GO!!!!!!!

Hello!!! Long post because I love saying too much about everything 😋

Dearest Elijah would be every musician I have ever loved. But I will settle on Jan Akkerman – self-taught; or mostly self-taught, thriving against all odds. You are brave. A hidden gem. Sometimes you make me dig to find out more about you, and this is part of your enchantment. Very sweet, very honest, very thoughtful. You always surprise me. You're a force of nature.

Liz is Jon Anderson, not only for her profile picture but also because she is passionate about music, is a fantastic singer and introduced me to prog in the warmest, kindest way. You remind me of summer sunrises and the fog lifting itself from the hills before I leave for work and the warm afternoons that welcome me home after a long day.

Agus and Eli (an entity to me) are many things. I am inclined to say Hirasawa because they would still be an unbeatable, inseparable duo in every possible universe, even the apocalyptic ones. But Agus *is* shaped after Robert Fripp; or my vision of Robert Fripp is shaped after Agus. This is more craftsmanship than natural to me. They are the best friends I could ever wish for!

Trisha would, without a doubt, be Chris Squire – ADHD, always involved in some huge project that requires so much effort but acts so nonchalantly about it 😭. A natural leader. People flock to you and you are either incredibly loved or strongly disliked. I am part of that first group.

Al is Neil Peart. AuDHD. Maybe not DHD but definitely Au. Impecable fashion taste. Master of music theory. Humble. Hard to get to know but your company is so rewarding… thank you for every minute you have shared with me.

Mav is a powerhouse. My worst enemy. If I were able to name *anyone* and say it's prog, I would pick Walter Becker from Steely Dan. You are an excellent guitarist (although humble), your sense of style is (also) immaculate, you know so much about gear and math it's crazy to me, and you know when to push someone out of their comfort zones so that they can become better people. Thank you!

Emily/Drew is a bit like David Cross to me. Everything they touch is gold. Everything they make appears as if out of a dream. You have this hidden wisdom within and I feel anguish too. May you be free from it someday. One thing I know is that your talent will always be recognized as long as I'm around 🙏 and I think others would agree.

I think Chris/Kieran would be Keith, actually. He's probably one of the most active people I know (against his will?) with varied interests. He's really well-spoken but I need some time to fully understand the things he tells me. Exquisite person. Thank you for your company!

Cass reminds me of Tony Levin and I can't exactly describe it. Every time they create something the world is changed. Unspeakably beautiful art. Everyone admires them. But they're also just a chill guy

Danny (Awesome) is so cool I can't think of someone who could ever reach his level. I'll go with David Jackson from Van der Graaf because of 1. his dignity, finesse and kindness 2. the fact he can still be the funniest guy in the room while still having all of those atributes and 3. the mistique that surrounds him; his incredible fashion sense and connection to classical music. Thank you for being so good to me. You are one of a kind!

Feather - Ambrose from KGLW 😋😋

Other mutuals that I don't know as well (but I wish I did! Talk to me any time)

Tumblr user RobertFripp is actually Bill Bruford

Aspen reminds me of Peter Hammill

Mel reminds me of Greg Lake, very charming and confident

Not prog, but Aster is forever Roger Daltrey

Eels Gibb - Todd Rundgren

Yesterday's Answers is PFM, especially Flavio Premoli

Mayo - Phil Collins (associated with you forever)

Mikeology - M... mike Rutherford (also associated with you forever AND you have the best blog in the world)

Aubrey, Tony and and Alistair are Badfinger reincarnated to me.

Gail is technically also Badfinger but Russ Ballard especially. Of course.

Caden reminds me of Keith Emerson!

There are others I have not mentioned... but I feel kind of embarrassed 😭 please let me know if you want one too. I am extremely grateful for everyone who saw me worthy of a follow.

Much love!

[bg-brainrot]

Hello, I am writing Astarion fanfic with no signs of stopping 👋

Note: All Astarion x Tav, all written with gender-neutral pronouns and from second-person POV. Will continue to update this! This blog is all BG3 + Astarion

Love at First Knife

Rogue!Tav and Spawn!Astarion

This series is based on my double-rogue playthrough. Tav is an assassin rogue, chaotic neutral, chooses mostly good options but a ton of options just for the laughs or the money. Astarion remains unascended. Everyone shows up sooner or later, though main group includes Karlach and Shadowheart.

The Trap is Set: Two 8 strength rogues get stuck and need to wait for rescue; one of those rogues doesn't like being trapped underground

Failed a Dex Save and Fell for You: the gang plays Truth or Dare and Tav starts to realize their feelings

Healing Threads: Astarion is an expert at embroidery -- Tav finds this out through an injury. They later find out *why* he’s such an expert

The Night They Slept Together: Tav pines, and their relationship with Astarion shifts ever so slightly. (They literally do just sleep) [Tumblr]

One Small Bedroll, Two Confused Hearts: oh no, one bed! But both Astarion and Tav are scared to admit they're catching real feelings

Failed Every Insight Check and Fell all the Harder: Astarion POV, he begins feeling some new feelings. It's only after Moonrise Towers that he can put a name to them. [Tumblr]

Stolen Hearts: Tav "picks" Astarion over Karlach (Tav and Karlach were never really together but oh well, semantics)

NEW! To be Known: Astarion reads a book and wonders what it means to be known. [Tumblr]

A Stolen Moment: Tav and Astarion are on a thief date

The Rogues that Slay Together Stay Together: Tav goes down protecting Astarion, Astarion has never been this worried

A Pair of Penguin Pebblers: Both Astarion and Tav love stealing, they steal through a shopping episode and go on a date afterward

The Smut Peddlers of Sharess' Caress: the group finds smut written about Astarion and Tav [Tumblr]

A Bad Counterfeit: Tav is replaced by a doppelganger and Astarion immediately notices something's wrong, some angst as he comes to term with being a "hero"

Hugs for a Vampire: Rogue!Tav and Astarion's romance as told through hugs [Tumblr Masterlist]

More than Vampiric Charms: After some banter between Jaheira and Astarion goes too far, Rogue!Tav reassures Astarion [Tumblr]

Would You Still Love Me?: Rogue!Tav asks the question everyone wants to know the answer to "would you still love me if I was a worm?" [Tumblr]

Of Bets, Bluffs, and Briefs: The gang plays strip poker, though it seems like not everyone (Astarion) is playing by the rules [Tumblr]

Brawls Fair in Love and War: What starts out as a scuffle turns into a full out tavern brawl for the gang [Tumblr]

Alone in a Crowded Camp: Astarion reflects and realizes that company isn't so bad. [Tumblr]

Their First Winter Together: Astarion and Rogue!Tav enjoy a lot of winter firsts in this fluff-filled extravaganza [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9][10][11][12]

Unraveling Plan Meet Immeasurable Insecurity: Tav tries their damnedest to propose, only to be rebuffed by Astarion at every single turn. [Tumblr]

(smut) The Thousandth Time: Astarion and Rogue!Tav make love for the thousandth time. In a bathtub. [Tumblr]

Random post-game rogue!Tav headcanons

A Star in the Dark

Evil!Dark Urge and Ascended!Astarion

Evil!Dark Urge and Astarion have a tumultuous relationship, make dubious choices, and become a power couple. *This playthrough scares me so I'll update this sporadically hah

(smut) In My Head: Dark Urge has an all new kind of daydream after Astarion approaches them

(smut) A Bloody Sacrament: Astarion licks Dark Urge clean after they bathe in a pool of blood [Tumblr]

Other

Tav x Astarion fics that don't belong to a series

IN PROGRESS When He's all but Forgotten How to Love Again: Elf-Tav reincarnation story, they dream of him in their reverie, and go out to find him once they reach maturity [Tumblr Masterlist]

IN PROGRESS The Consequences of Convenience: Tav enters a marriage of convenience with their unromanced, best friend Astarion-- feelings ensue.

Spicy Astarion Headcanons (both A!A and Spawn!A)

Horny Astarion Headcanons (both A!A and Spawn!A)

If you're looking for some more fics, check out my fic recs here!

If you're wondering which Hozier songs fit which pairings, check them here!

[rockinlibrarian]

The Lyric Game Redux Redux Round TWO, neater copy, more clues!

Right, this is the part where I add genre clues to the Lyric Game-- this was the last reblog, so far I only have one player, so YOU, yes, YOU, stop right now and take a look with these new clues, guess whatever you know! Even if you think you know the artist but have no idea about the song, even if you're like "Oh yeah, it's THAT song, the one where it's like do do do do and then the guitar comes in like weeee-oooo-oooo" or whatever! Prove to me that people see what I post!

Edit: This game is over! See the answers here!

Here's the Ten Specially Picked Because They're The Most Mainstream and You Have The Highest Likelihood of Knowing!

BASIC MAINSTREAM LIST:

1: "And here's to you, [Title of Song], Jesus loves you more than you will know." I said if nobody guessed it yet I'd add the next line, so there. If you know it you know it, if you don't know it yet what is wrong with you. Anyway, 1960s acoustic pop-rock. Folk rock maybe? "Singer-Songwriter"? Except in this case there are multiple singers and only one is the songwriter? Anyhoo.

2: "[Title of Song] out of the bearded barley…" 1990s pop that is very happy, which is why it reminds me of Liz, because she very stubbornly didn't like it when it came out, and finally someone realized, "You just don't like it because it's HAPPY, don't you!"

3: "[Title of Song], won't you come out to play?" 1960s somewhat-psychedelic rock that may be an album track but a LOT of people own this album so hey.

4: "There's a little black spot on the sun today" 1980s —wikipedia calls it New Wave, and I guess so. I actually looked it up because I wasn't sure what genre to call it, so we'll go with that.

5: "Standing there alone, the ship is waiting…" 1980s song that I WOULD call New Wave off the top of my head. Think it might also qualify as Euro-pop. Also, for a certain subsection of my followers, was used on The Umbrella Academy. Season 2.

6: "See the people walking down the street, fall in line just watching all their feet"—added a line bc the first seemed vague, but I did have to look up that second line. And when I did, noticed that wikipedia also calls THIS New Wave, but I would have called it 1980s Pop-Rock. …which I guess may ALL be considered New Wave.

7: "Little town, it's a quiet village…" 1990s Showtune. And when I say "Showtune" I'm referring to any song where characters break "reality" to sing, whether on stage or screen. And this one was done on BOTH stage and screen. Though probably you already recognized it without that clue if you know it at all.

8: "[Title of Song], falling on my head like a memory…" 1980s New Wave, and THAT one I'm SURE about. It's the New Wave-iest New Wave on this list. The others pale in their attempts to be New Wave.

9: "[Title] eleison…" And then it picks up and goes "The wind blows hard against the mountainside…" so you can identify the artist and not just assume I'm posting parts of the Mass! 1980s pop-rock. I wouldn't call this one New Wave, but I'm refusing to look it up so wikipedia can't attempt to change my mind.

10: "Cold late night so long ago, when I was not so strong, you know…" 1970s rock. Also repeating the clue that this song's title is half the title of the best fic I ever wrote (If you love me you know). Also I can only assume the only reason this song wasn't outright used in the fic's source material is some Rights issue because it fits TOO DEAD ON, they had to have been THINKING about it in certain scenes. Oh, also repeating that this is the first song I ever did solo in a public karaoke, many years before discovering that fic's source material OR getting into fanfic.

And now! For Twice the Points!

THE ADVANCED ROUND!

1: "Link it to the world, link it to yourself…" 2000s hard rock (more similar to prog rock than metal) that I heard for the first time like two months ago on a podcast, along with several other songs from the album, and basically immediately went out and bought the album. The CD is still on the floor beside me from when I uploaded it to my computer, that's how recently (also my area is a complete wreck so that may not ACTUALLY be an effective use of "that's how recently"). Also I still say the lyric SHOULD be "Naked to the world," but hey.

2: "All the lonely nights I spend alone, never around to love me, you're always gone" came out in 89 but I always think of it as a 90s album. This is the hardest rock song on the mostly pop-funk-r&b album, which was one of my favorites as a kid. It was the first album I personally owned that I realized was a proper ALBUM and not just a collection of filler songs with some hits. Guess the artist if not the song.

3: "If you want my lovin', If you really do" 1960s gospel-infused R&B. I honestly can't give you any less generic lyrics. The whole song is like that. But the SINGING is iconic.

4: "You jump in front of my car when you, you know all the time that ninety miles an hour, girl, is the speed I drive" 1960s blues-rock by an artist who appeared the last time we played this game, which is the main reason I skipped this one in the main list.

5: "You don't need no love-in, You don't need no bed pan, You don't need a horoscope or a microscope to see the mess that you're in" 1970s album track from solo member of group already featured in the main list above, I have no idea how to describe this genre-wise. Wikipedia calls it "rock gospel." Also Wall of Sound. Also one of my FAVORITE ALBUMS EVER.

6: "Invoke the light to shelter you, cause everybody wants a piece of you" 1990s…"worldbeat jam band" apparently. I looked that one up. It's local to Western PA but when I looked it up I DID see the album went Platinum so maybe people other than the people I went to school with have it. I just heard the biggest hit from it on the radio yesterday, which people who did not have this album playing in their lives constantly in their teen years WOULD recognize because it's been used in SO many movies shows and so on, but this track? Likely just the people who associate the whole album with hanging outside on a college campus on a beautiful day, like me. That is more than enough clue for my peers (staring at Facebook) to get the artist and maybe album at least.

7: "Someone's gone out fishing, someone's high and dry" 1990s album track by a solo member of group already featured above, pop ballad. Yes, the other "solo member of group already featured" is from the same band, and, just a reminder: ME, remember. This is ME.

8: "[title of song slightly altered] this time, to get myself in shape" 1970s Easy Listening. I'm going to call it that. This artist is the pinnacle of Easy Listening. Also repeating the clue that you tend to hear them most often at Christmastime nowadays, though not this song obviously. (It's not Mariah Carey).

9: "[Title of song], sing us a song of a love that once belonged" 2000s…soul? Soft vocal jazz? Sticking with that. Also Billy 'Arrison has a crush on the singer, but like I said, that's a clue that would only be a clue for me. Also Billy 'Arrison's birthday is tomorrow.

10: "Well I told you once and I told you twice, but you never listen to my advice" 1960s rock, not really that "unknown," just more unknown than the ten songs in the main list.

11: "Now I'm not like this, I'm really kind of shy, but I get this feeling whenever you walk by." 1970s album track by a typical late-1970s rock band. It's from their big self-titled album if that helps.

12: "You were the sweetest thing that I ever knew. But I don't care for sugar honey if I can't have you." 1990s pop ballad by artist from group in the list above, but not THAT group. Like I said it may actually be more well known than the group's song that made the list, but it's close. So this one may jump out at you, too.

SO THAT'S IT! Drop me a note! Spit out whatever ideas you have! You might be right! And at the very least you'll make me look at the songs in a new way, which is fun!