#10/10 and i’m cackling

[frnkiebby]

@abrandnewshadow ily. and i love that frimage bc its incredibly accurate. Is that frimage necessarily redacted? no. IS THE EDIT???? Probably just enough not to risk it on my NON redacted blog at least lmfao. If it’s not, and maybe it’s not, you are killing me. pls. his mouth is fucking obscene and i’m so here for it.

accept this as an apology/modified version of your ask~🎃

(if it makes you feel better, you’re not the first person to send me that edit and i told them the same thing. you likely know who you are you fucking gremlin)

[hedalexa]

the girls buying pets and the guys all groaning and betting on which will get lost first has me dead lmfaooo

[skyloftian-nutcase]

Me, sniffling and congested because of the weather: *rubs my nose halfheartedly because my hands are dirty, I just dipped them in park water to get some debris off them* Me, realizing I now have a booger stuck on the edge of my nose: Well. Guess I’m committed now. *picks my nose to get rid of booger* Me: *looks up afterward to try and act normal* The dude walking his dog right in front of me: 😶

…Well, that went well. 🤣

[silentgrim]

gagged

[gulabiprincess]

I haven’t laughed this hard in weeks and it’s over a dumb tiktok of a dog reacting to nasty food

[gauntletgirlie]

I BEG. Not me looking like “Good girl” Adar 💀Eru have mercy on my now deceased soul 😂 yeah me and Adar look a world apart sorry folks.

I have been tempted to update it to a picrew version of myself and now maybe I should 😂

No pressure tags: @iwanderbecauseimlost, @whenimaunicorn, @perlen-gold, @saffronstories, @withallthatisleftofmyheart, @marshmellin, @earthlybeam, and anyone else who would like to play!

If you have a real life person as your pfp, I don't care if it's Taylor Swift or something, my subconscious will assume you look like that irl. Sometimes my subconscious even assumes that I look like my pfp irl. And if your pfp is not a real life person... Tbh my subconscious still assumes you look like that irl.

You know what, tag yourself... How close in appearance do you think you are to your pfp? Interpret how you will

[blazeperalta]

i’m rewatching 10 things i hate about you and I forgot how fucking hilarious Allison Janney is in this movie

[annakxrenina]

sorry to disappoint everyone but I haven’t read a classic in a month i have solely been reading the mortal instruments. i’m halfway through the fourth one and LIVING so don’t mind me if i disappear for a while

[frnkiebby]

anon i love you for that meme~🎃

(pls have these frimages as thanks)

[kxsagi]

Idk if this have been done before or not but blue lock boys of your choice (hopefully with sae, isagi and aiku) with a very flirty reader but when it comes to the real thing just short circuit?? Like they're all bark but no bite type of thing (me frfr) Reader saying stuff like "I'll take you home tn pretty😘", "What do you want to do first? Eat, bath or me😜 Isn't that what japanese women say to their husbands??" or "I'm so delicious yk" (and yes if you're curious I did say this to my friends and I don't have a love life😔)

“𝐫��𝐳𝐳 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭”

a/n: i am obsessed with you. you are the final boss of flirt-to-faint pipeline and i will write this with my whole chest

ft. isagi yoichi, itoshi sae, aiku oliver, karasu tabito, nagi seishiro, kaiser michael, itoshi rin, shidou ryusei

isagi yoichi

you're sitting on a bench, hand under your chin, giving him the most dramatic eyes ever. 

"yoichi, when are you gonna stop playing soccer and start playing me?" 

he CHOKES mid-bite of his sandwich. you’ve been doing this for weeks. he’s used to the pickup lines, the little winks, the "what if i kissed you rn lol jk... unless?" energy. 

but today? oh he’s had ENOUGH. 

“what if i did kiss you right now?” 

silence. 

you blink. your brain hits a blue screen error. 

"what?" 

"you always say that stuff. so what if i actually did it?" 

you panic. 

you THROW YOUR OWN SANDWICH AT HIM. 

“don’t do that. i’m too delicate. i’ll combust. i’ll faint on the spot.” 

he cackles. absolutely loves how you can be a flirt and a coward at the same time. 

he starts throwing your lines back at you. suddenly isagi’s texting you at 1 AM like “i’m so delicious you know 🤤” and you’re clutching your pillow screaming into it. 

itoshi sae

you always flirt with him when he’s least expecting it. like when he’s brushing his teeth. or doing taxes. 

"sae, when are you gonna marry me so i can kiss you good morning every day and give you little bento boxes that say ‘good luck, honey’?" 

he's brushing his teeth. he’s staring at you in the mirror like you’re a walking headache. 

“you want to kiss me every morning?” 

“... no. that’s not what i said. i don’t even know you like that. who are you.” 

you run. flee the scene. 

sae chases you down the hallway with his toothbrush still in his mouth. “say it again, coward.” 

you’re under a table texting rin for backup. 

bonus: sae starts quoting your pickup lines when you least expect it. 

"what do you want to do first? eat, bathe, or me?" he says this deadpan in a restaurant and you drop your drink. 

aiku oliver

THE WORST ONE TO FLIRT WITH. DO NOT DO IT. HE WILL FLIRT BACK. 

you walk up to him during practice like, “i brought you water, pretty boy. drink it and think of me.” 

he takes the bottle, winks, and goes, “sure, babe. if you’re what hydration tastes like, i’m gonna need gallons.” 

you explode. your brain does not have the processing speed to handle oliver aiku. 

“i’m kidding! i’m KIDDING! we’re friends! i’m just a silly little guy!” 

“silly little guys don’t call me pretty with that much eye contact.” 

he lives for your flirty lines and the way you instantly crumble when he flips the script. 

“hey, gorgeous.” 

“please be serious i have a weak heart.” 

he’s constantly calling you out. “you told me i was ‘so hot you wanted to risk it all’ yesterday. and now you’re turning pink because i called you ‘cutie’?” 

yes. yes you are. 

karasu tabito

he thinks your one-liners are HILARIOUS. 

he flirts back once and you hit him with the “who said that. don’t make me take this seriously” defense mechanism. 

“you said you wanted to lick whipped cream off my abs yesterday.” 

“i was JOKING.” 

“you had a whipped cream can in your hand.” 

he starts keeping score. 

flirty lines from you: +1. 

your panicked denial after: +10. 

he 100% makes a powerpoint for your birthday called “top 10 times you flirted like a menace and ran away from consequences.” 

slides include quotes like “tabi if you were dessert i’d never skip dinner again” and your reaction when he said “okay then, bite me” (you fainted, it was dramatic). 

nagi seishiro

he doesn’t understand flirting. but he does understand that you turn bright red every time he repeats your lines. 

you: “sei, you’re so fine i’d let you ruin my life.” 

nagi: “okay. how do i do that?” 

you: “what do you mean how do you– HUH??” 

“do i just sit on you or something?” 

you scream into the void. 

he genuinely thinks your flirty lines are just jokes. until one day he mimics your tone and says, “i’m so delicious, you know?” 

and you combust. you literally trip over the couch. 

“don’t do that. you’re not allowed. only i can be the menace here.” 

“but you get all weird and sweaty when i do it. it’s funny.” 

he’s addicted now. whenever you flirt, he just gives you bedroom eyes and goes “mm, yeah, me too.” 

you haven’t known peace since. 

kaiser michael

you flirted with him ONCE and he hasn’t let you live it down since. 

you were feeling bold one morning and went, “you’re so fine, i’d let you break my heart and still say thank you.” 

kaiser didn’t even blink. just leaned in, cocky smirk and all. 

“then let’s not waste time. bed or balcony?” 

YOU SHORT-CIRCUIT SO HARD YOU HIT HIM WITH YOUR BAG. 

“I WAS JOKING. GOD HAS ABANDONED ME.” 

he lives to watch you crumble. you’re a walking contradiction and he’s obsessed. 

starts intentionally flirting back just to see the panic in your eyes. 

“hey, pretty boy.” 

“i’m prettier in bed, you know.” 

“WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU. RESPECT YOURSELF.” 

he respects you so much he tells everyone your pickup lines. “this one once told me ‘i’m so delicious you’ll never want another meal’ and then choked on air when i said ‘bon appétit.’” 

you hate him. you also flirt with him again the next day. it's a sickness. 

itoshi rin

the most dangerous game. 

you flirt with rin purely because he reacts like a cat staring at a laser pointer. pure judgment. 

“rin, if we lived together, would you want to eat, bathe, or do me first?” 

he stares. unimpressed. “i’d move out.” 

you laugh it off like “haha okay cold prince.” 

but then one day, he breaks. 

you say something like “you should let me sit on your lap during team meetings. i’m cuter than your teammates.” 

and he goes, “fine. try it.” 

silence. 

“WHAT.” 

“you said it. don’t back out now.” 

and you just evaporate into thin air. 

your soul leaves your body. rin’s casually holding open his arms and you’re hitting the eject button on life. 

and ever since that day, rin casually flirts back just to mess with you. 

“don’t say things you can’t commit to,” he says every time you flirt. “or do you want to prove it this time?” 

you’ve never known fear until rin calls your bluff. 

shidou ryusei

you flirt with him because you thought he’d be too unhinged to take it seriously. you thought wrong. 

first time you said “i’m hotter than hell, baby. want a taste?” he said, “yeah, let’s start with your thighs.” 

YOU FROZE LIKE A WINDOWS ERROR POPUP. 

“WH– I– NOT LIKE THAT–” 

“nah you started this. now i’m invested.” 

every time you flirt now, he takes it as a personal challenge. 

you say, “you’re so hot it’s actually disrespectful.” 

he winks. “cool. wanna get on your knees and teach me manners?” 

YOU PASS OUT. 

he fans you with a plate like “bro what happened to all that confidence?” 

he calls you "flirty mcfragile" behind your back. and to your face. 

“what’s up, bark-and-no-bite?” 

you ban yourself from flirting around him but he bait-flirts you like it’s a sport. 

“damn, i look good today. don’t you want to say something sexy to me?” 

“NO. YOU’RE EVIL. STOP BAITING ME.” 

"can't help it. i’m just so delicious, y’know?" 

shidou uses your own lines against you like a weapon and you're too weak to stop him. 

© 𝐤𝐱𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐢

[sakuraszn]

ft. katsuki bakugo

summary: helping defend his kid from other kids on roblox.

“Katsuki.”

No response.

“Katsuki.”

Still nothing. Just the glow of the screen reflecting off his face, jaw clenched, eyes locked in like he was planning a full-scale battle strategy. His fingers flew across the keyboard, clicking with the precision of a trained assassin.

You folded your arms. “Katsuki Bakugo. You are a grown-ass man playing Roblox.”

He finally looked up from your kid’s gaming setup, scowling. “Yeah? And?”

You pinched the bridge of your nose. “And you’re a Pro Hero. You fight real villains. You’ve literally saved the world.”

“Yeah, well, right now, I’m savin’ my kid’s goddamn tycoon,” he snapped, turning back to the screen.

Your child, sitting beside him, was absolutely thriving. “GET HIS ASS, DADDY!”

“ON IT, SQUIRT,” Katsuki barked, fingers moving like he was hacking into a government database.

You sighed, watching your fully grown husband—one of the strongest heroes alive—brutalizing a bunch of kids in Roblox because some 10-year-old named BlazeNinja_44 wouldn’t stop spawn-killing your kid.

The chat was on fire.

BlazeNinja_44: BRO WHO IS THIS

ExplosiveDynamight (Katsuki): UR WORST NIGHTMARE, LITTLE ****

BlazeNinja_44: ?????

ExplosiveDynamight: U LIKE SPAWN-KILLIN’ KIDS? HOW BOUT I SPAWN-KILL UR WHOLE BLOODLINE

Your kid cackled kicking their legs back and forth watching his dad go off for him. “Dad, you sound like one of those gamers.”

“GOOD.” Katsuki cracked his knuckles like he was about to drop a finisher move. “This lil’ bastard deserves it.”

You stared in sheer disbelief as your husband—a fully licensed Pro Hero—went on an unstoppable rampage, obliterating a bunch of middle schoolers in an online Lego game.

And worst of all?

Your kid was cheering him on.

You sighed, rubbing your temples. “I can’t believe I married you.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Katsuki muttered, eyes still locked on the screen. “y’know you love me.” he grins.

© sakuraszn! xoxo

[darlingsblackbook]

Zayne x Crushing Nurse!Reader | Part Three

Mc messing with Nurse!Reader for 30 minutes straight - A compilation.

Part One Part Two

Love and Deepspace Masterlist

I | MC started calling you “Nurse Heart-Eyes” under her breath. Zayne overheard and said, “She does that.”. You still don’t know if he meant the nickname or the heart-eyes.

II | You caught MC raising a brow when you were adjusting your hair and scrubs in front of the door to Zayne's office.

She said, “Want me to knock so you can pose first?”

You said, “What? No!”

She banged on the door. Three times.

III | You once laughed too hard at Zayne’s dry remark.

MC just muttered, “Classic.”

You said, “What’s classic?”

She said, “The symptoms.”

Zayne: “Of what?”

MC: “A very obvious crush.”

You : 👁👄👁

IV | You reached for a clipboard at the same time as Zayne and flinched when your hands brushed.

He didn’t notice.

Mc's cackled told you she did.

V | You once tried to subtly ask MC if Zayne was “seeing anyone.”. She looked at you and said, “Yeah. Every day. Usually around 10 a.m.” You nodded for a full five seconds before realizing you were being clowned.

VI | Zayne once complimented your efficiency with a curt, “Good work.” Your smile looked like it was about to tear the muscles in your face apart. MC noticed. Later she whispered, “If he ever says you’re ‘adequate,’ propose immediately.”

VII | You nervously asked MC, “So, you and Dr. Zayne… are you two… close?” She smirked. “We’ve bled on each other. Is that close?” You didn’t respond. MC patted your shoulder. “Didn’t think so.”

VIII | MC once caught you spying into the office through the window. She got up and positioned herself with her back to the window - facing Zayne who was leaning against his desk as he spoke to her- in a way that made it look like they were about to kiss. 3, 2, 1- SLAM!

"Doctor Zayne!" You yelled out of breath. Zayne turned his head towards you, you could almost see the buffering icon right above his head as he's trying to figure out what is wrong with you.

Mc turned towards you and stuck her tongue out, "Are you alright, heart eyes?" You stayed silent. Zayne moved on with their convo as if nothing happened. "As I was saying-"

IX | MC gave you a cooling pack as she was visiting one morning. You asked, “Why?” She said, “For when you watch Zayne do literally anything and get flustered.”

X | Zayne once asked, “Why are you acting strange today?” MC leaned into the doorway and said, “Just today?"

XI | MC caught you fiddling with your necklace after Zayne walked by. She asked, “That a nervous habit or are you imagining he gave it to you?” You dropped the necklace. She laughed.

XII | Zayne felt something was off about you today. He wanted to call you to his office to make sure you were okay. "Y/n, can I speak to you for a moment?" You looked at him with wide eyes. Mc raised her eyebrows, "Is it finally happening?"

XIII | You once saw Mc put her hand on Zayne's arm as they stood right in front of you. You froze, eyes locked onto the hand. Zayne looked up and said, “Are you alright?” MC smiled,“She’s just calculating how many years she’d get if she hacked my hand off”

XIV | You tried to ignore MC’s presence for a day. She leaned in and whispered, “Your strategy is adorable. Ineffective, but adorable.” You hissed, “I’m being neutral.” She said, “You’re vibrating.”

XV | Zayne started answering your questions with one-word responses. You told yourself he was just focused. MC leaned over and said, “You’re not subtle, and he’s allergic to emotions. This is gonna be fun.”

XVI | You overheard Zayne complain about a nurse to Mc and mutter, “People are distracted this week.” You were the one who helped him mainly this week. MC later passed by you and asked, “Need a sign that says ‘I'm just in love, not incompetent’? I can make one.”

XVII | MC once deliberately called Zayne by a ridiculous pet name—“Zaynie Boo” just to see your reaction. You dropped the tray you were holding. Zayne didn’t flinch. “Don’t do that.” MC: “Why? It gets results.”

XVIII | You once said, “You two make a good team.” Mc answered, "Yeah, in many ways."

XIX | Zayne once asked if you were sick because you were so jittery. MC said, “Only with longing."

XX | Zayne asked you to assist him one-on-one. You nearly tripped walking toward him. MC whispered, “good luck, little nurse.”

You heard her. Zayne didn’t.

But when he caught your trembling hands, he paused, looked at the doorway, then quietly said,

“She’s messing with you again, isn’t she?”

All Rights Reserved © Darlingsblackbook

I love the Mc/nurse dynamic, here are some more moments. In the next part there will be more Zayne🤭

Taglist : @sylusgirlie7 @jeonjenny @notsurewhattocallthisblog8888 @draftbeerbibi @weebinator01 @satorustorm @asilaydead @ninaandtuna @gremlinartstudio

[infictionalwonderland]

I NEED PART TWO OF THE MARVEL CAST FLIRTING WITH Y/N L/N!

. . . MARVEL CAST FLIRTING WITH Y/N Y/L/N FOR 10 MINUTES STRAIGHT! (part2)

part 1 / part 3

You cackled to yourself after sending the message into your groupchat, quickly returning to the video and beginning to play it again, occasional bursts of giggles slipping through your lips.

Resuming your place in the video—the first clip that began playing was actually from not that long ago at all. It was You, Kat Dennings, Elizabeth Olsen and Zendaya at Taylor Swifts Eras Tour (an experience you would genuinely never forget). Taylor was playing Lover and, in the clip, Kat had your face in one hand and the other wrapped around your waist, bringing you close to her body.

“Lover, can I go where you go—“ Kat sang with Taylor, singing all the lyrics to you and grinning at you, faces inches away from each other. “—Can we always be this close.” She punctuated this lyric with giving you an eskimo kiss.

You smiled sincerely at the memory.

The next clip began up, it was you and Chris Evans doing Playground Insults with BBC Radio 1: the two of you were sat opposite each other, knees touching, Chris was grinning goofily at you, giddy laughs escaping him as you tried to remain straight faced.

“—we’re here with Chris Evans and Y/N Y/L/N.” The presenters introduced.

“And we’re about to play Playground Insults . . Now Chris and Y/N are sat opposite each other,” the camera cut to you and Chris, him smiling largely and you looking away to contain your own, “the atmosphere is very tense.”

“We’ve done this quite a few times now but im thinking.. this is the biggest movie of the year, let’s make this the biggest playground insults we’ve ever done.”

“Yep.” Chris nodded, trying not to laugh.

“Chris, hun. . you’re ugly. Like, plain ugly.” You nodded seriously, immediately setting off as you feigned a pained wince to the words. “Everyone’s been talking about it. . just, you’re so atrocious to look at. Honestly, I almost feel arse over tits in horror when I saw you.”

Chris opened his mouth to say something but then faltered and pouted, “no matter how good of an actor I am, I could never even get those words out my mouth about you and make them sound genuine. Seriously.”

The third clip started—it was Chris Hemsworth on a carpet, a bold colourful question at the bottom said ‘WHO HAS THE MOST FANS?’. Chris immediately said, “Y/n.” In that deep Australian accent of his. “Not that I blame the people from choosing her to be the people’s queen, she is truly one of a kind. You’ll only ever meet one Y/n in your lifetime, cherish it. The fans have the right idea.”

It changed to Scarlett with the same colourful question at screen and at the same carpet event: “Oh, Yeah. Y/n, one hundred percent.” She chuckled huskily. “That woman has fans upon fans and seriously, I’m one of them. She is something else.” She grinned, winking at the camera.

After Scarlett, Paul Rudd came onto your screen in the very same clip. “Oh! The legend herself, Y/N Y/L/N.” Paul answered brightly, smiling. “The amount of fans she has is unbelievable—well, it’s definitely believable for someone like her, so, not really unbelievable..”

The forth clip began—it was you all playing Family Feud with Jimmy Kimmel, on his live show. Sebastian and RDJ were currently facing off; Jimmy posed the question “what, other than the sun, are some of the hottest things to exist?”

Sebastian got to the buzzer faster than Robert managed to and didn’t even falter or hesitate as he answered straight away, “Y/N Y/L/N.”

The audience immediately screamed laughed and shrieked in delight, RDJ just nodded his head in understanding and appreciation, clapping his hands. Chris Evans, Mark and Anthony on the other side all looked amused but ultimately accepting (Chris was nodding along almost subconsciously). You were on the other team, looking heavenward with a faint exasperated grin and Scarlet wrapped her arm around your waist, Chris Hemsworth smirking at you both.

The fifth clip started up: it was a behind the scenes shot from Endgame, the big final battle. You were currently in the middle of doing your own stunt, green screen behind you and harnesses strapped to you as you dangled at a halfway point in the air. Your arms and hands were positioned in such a way to show your character manipulating her powers—the position also very much enhanced your chest, with the added help of your superhero attire. You looked hot, even you could admit.

The camera mirthfully panned to some of the rest of the cast who all stood aside while you filmed your scene—said cast being Chris Evans, Tom Holland, Gwyneth Paltrow, RDJ, Elizabeth Olsen and Tessa Thompson. All of their eyes were fixated on you, Robert was the only one grinning in amusement (and awe) while all the others stared at you as though you hung the sun yourself.

“Boobies.” Lizzie giggled faintly, her eyes stuck. The rest of the cast watching dumbly nodded while the crew cracked up behind the cameras.

And if you screenshotted their dumbfounded faces looking ip at on screen you. . well that was your business.

The clip changed. It was now Karen Gillan being interviewed on some carpet event, looking genuinely breathtaking. The interviewer was asking, “—obviously, your friend and co-star Y/N Y/L/N has been in lots of iconic movies. . what is your favourite scene of hers in The Wolf of Wall Street?”

Karen paused with a cheeky little smile, giving the interviewer a a jokingly incredulous look. “Come on.” She simply said. “It’s a bloody no brainer, I’m certain it was Leonardo’s favourite scene too. . I hope it is anyway otherwise he’s a silly, silly man.”

At the same carpet event with the same interviewer, Chris Hemsworth was being interviewed—his wife, Elsa, on his arm and looking half ready to battle off any rude interviewers (queen).

“—what is your favourite scene of hers in Ocean’s 8?”

“All of them!” Elsa answered eagerly, grinning. “Her outfits really accentuated her personality and I enjoyed them very much so. Particularly her outfit for the gala. . the amount of accentuated personality, by gosh, it had me speechless.”

Chris turned her head, obviously trying not to laugh at his wife.

“Nunca he estado más celoso y agradecido por la ropa en mi vida.” Elsa hummed.

You blinked.

The clip changed to you, Sebastian, Lizzie, Paul, Jeremy and Jimmy all on his Tonight Show playing Musical Beers. The slightly unnerving music/beat played in the background while you all stalked around the circle, Paul and Jeremy already out—leaving you, Seb, Lizzie and Jimmy.

As you were all racing around the circular table, Lizzie very obviously swatted your ass and you were impressed with your own body as you watched that impact: the audience erupted into laughs and shrieks, Jimmy playfully covering his eyes as Seb smirked. You thought that would be the end of the clip, but no.

The very disco-esk tune briefly cut out and past time you thought that meant it stopped completely and you’d already reached for the red cup in front of you and chugged it’s contents, only to pause as the music began back up.

“Spit it back! Spit it back!”

You did just that—but when the music actually stopped and Seb was left standing in front of the cup with your (let’s not go there) in it, your mouth popped open in shock. Jeremy gladly backed away from the table in hysterics, Lizzie and Jimmy equally as amused.

“Oh my god, I am—“

Sebastian quickly downed the cup with. . those contents, not even looking all that perturbed.

“So sorry.” You finished, mouth agape.

You vaguely remembered a conversation you’d had with him after the show, sincerely and repeatedly apologising and he was just very, very amused with you. He didn’t seem to mind at all—what an odd man.

“It’s all good.” Sebastian chuckled lowly, wrapping the mortified looking past you in a one armed shoulder hug and squeezing you to him. Lizzie seemed to be trying to trade a very obvious eye message with you—the audience shrieked and screamed in the background.

Another clip began: its was you and Scarlett Johansson doing a trust fall thing, you thought (correctly).

“Scarlett I swear. .” You giggled, looking over your shoulder at the woman behind you—she grinned back at you amusedly, her eyes twinkling.

“Calm down.” She laughed herself. “I’ll catch you don’t worry, gorgeous.”

Still slightly overcome with nervous giggles, you turned and let out a breath as you shut your eyes before holding at your arms and falling back.

And catch you she definitely did—although her hands didn’t exactly land in a PG-13 area, you cackled as you watched her hands grope at your chest to pull you up. In the video, you were also wheezing as were the crew and Scarlett had a cheeky little smirk as she laughed.

When you were finally standing, she gave one last squeeze before finally letting go—on screen you was breathless with giggles.

“Always wanted to do that.” She shrugged simply with a large amused smile.

The next clip began—it was Zendaya and Tom Holland on LADBible, playing that how much do you agree or not game. The statement said was ‘Y/N Y/L/N is everyone‘s celebrity crush’.

Instantly, Tom and Zendaya moved their cups to strongly agree, both of them nodding in solid agreement with the statement: presently, you awed at your friends, ego very much boosted. Well. To be fair, all of this video was massively boosting your ego.

“I mean, come on.” Zendaya made a ‘duh’ face and shrugged her shoulders.

“It’s Y/N.” Tom smiled crookedly, adding onto her comment.

“I am so happy I get to now say that she’s one of my closest friends.” Zendaya beamed genuinely. “She’s—one of those people whose beauty isn’t just an external thing, she’s so lovely man.” She pouted, in awe of you.

Watching the video, you beamed back at her.

The clip changed: Mark Ruffalo was on the Graham Norton show, next to Nicki Minaj and an actor you couldn’t place.

“Who would you say your favourite co-star has ever been, Mark?” Graham inquired.

“I—i would probably have to go with Y/N—“ The crowd instantly erupted into cheers and yells and Nicki smiled next to him, stating that she loved you under the sound of cheering. Mark grinned back at her, mumbling ‘me too’.

“Yeah, she’s a hell of an actress, that one. So easy to work with. Funny as f—hell, she’s just—an extremely genuine and kind person, and she really brings the energy on set.” Mark grinned. “..she’s also the only free pass my wife has ever given me. Which I won’t be using! Because I don’t believe in cheating, it’s scummy! Even though she’s gorgeous—anyone would be lucky!” He had to rise to a shout at the end as the audience erupted.

Nicki giggled next to him, “me personally, I would use that pass.”

You gasped in laughter as you watched the screen, screen-recording it all so you could go back and watch it. Saving it to your folder titled PISSING MY PANTS HRLP

The clip changed yet again, showing a scene from the Winter Solider BTS. You and Sebastian were filming a scene where he had to shoot your character—you watched the ‘Winter Solider’ shoot your character multiple times making you go down with an agonised yell, crawling away from him.

As soon as CUT was yelled, Sebastian’s face dropped from his stone cold (wintery) expression and he raced to you, crouching next to you. He practically tugged you into his lap on the floor, holding you.

“Oh my fuck that—that just felt so real, Y/n. You know I would never hurt you right?” He asked, blinking repeatedly before a small smirk fell on his lips. “You’re way too pretty to injure doll. Can’t ruin your perfect face.”

On screen you huffed in mock anger, hiding an amused grin as you shoved at him—he still held you close to him though, so both of you fell backwards and burst into giggles.

You literally thought ‘I ship them’ as you watched the clip of Sebastian and yourself, forgetting that was you for a moment.

Another clip started up—another behind the scenes. It was you and Tom Hiddleston in Thor : Ragnarok. In the scene Loki was tied down to the chair and your character was meant to intimidate him—you watched yourself take out your character’s daggers and lean forward into his space. One leg leaned up on top of the arm of the chair, sliding one dagger just a hair above the skin of his neck while using the over the move his chin up to be angled to you as you mockingly smiled down at him.

You said your line as your character but Tom remained silent, mouth parted and eyes widened as he gazed up at you—speech failing him. (You knew that they actually decided to include this awestruck look in the movie—the amount of fucking edits you’d seen was unreal).

Eyebrows crinkling you nudged your knee into his chest and he snapped out of it, grabbing your knee in a gentle grip. “Sorry darling, words sometimes seem to fail me in your presence.” He muttered rather hoarsely, still staring up at you.

“I don’t fucking blame him.” Tessa Thompson murmured from behind you both, and the camera moved to show her staring at you in a similar awe.

Present time, you could barely hide your smirk. Literally the biggest ego boost. Of all time.

Again, the clip changed and it was now Natalie Portman looking gorgeous on a carpet event, being interviewed—“if you could have Jane explore another romance than Thor, who would it be and why?”

“Y/N!” Natalia enthused immediately. “Well—her character, but like. Both. Either. One for me, one for Jane. That—would be great. And why? Come on! She’s an absolutely beautiful woman, inside and out. She has this outward glow that you literally cannot and don’t want to look away from and that reflects so much in her personality—once you’ve interacted with her one time, you never want to stop. Ever. I’m not kidding.” She giggled.

Another clip started up quickly—a blooper of you and Chris Evans. In this scene, your characters were meant to kiss after an angsty, angry argument. You stormed into the frame, into the bedroom, completely in character—an angry expression on and ready to go at Steve.

Before you could even let out a single syllable to begin your lines, Chris immediately surged forward and took your face in his hands, kissing the living daylights out of you.

You both pulled back after a bit and you just started at him, questioningly (that kiss was probably one of your best ever, let it be known, Chris Evans was a fantastic kisser).

“I—I thought It’d be good for the scene. .” Chris trailed off bashfully, scratching the base of his neck, literally pulling the excuse out of his arse. In actuality, he hadn’t wanted to spare a moment of the scene where he could be kissing you, well, not doing so.

“Bull!” Scarlett exclaimed as she materialised in the doorway. “He just wanted to kiss you.” She told you, pointedly looking at the man.

“Yeah—i—“ He huffed a defeated sigh, pink-cheeked. “I’ve got nothing. She’s right.”

In hindsight, you thought to yourself, you should probably stop being so shocked when the fanbase starts shipping you with your costars.

The clip changed: now it was you, Elizabeth and Aaron on a carpet event together—all being interviewed at the same time.

“So, Y/n, how does it feel to be in a Maximoff twin sandwich right now?” The interviewer giggled happily, smiling.

Before you could open you’re mouth—“we’re really enjoying it.” Lizzie and Aaron replied at the same time.

The interview gaped and you simply rolled your eyes as the two smirked at either side of you, they’d been talking in sync ever since you’d first met them at the table reading.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t why?” Aaron grinned crookedly. “A beautiful, lovely woman in between us. Honestly, love, there’s not a thought in my head besides you.” He joked, throwing an arm over your shoulder.

“I completely support that.” Lizzie chirped in, “ever since I’ve met this gorgeous lady who i now acknowledge as my partner in everything—she’s taken up all of the room in my brain, and I couldn’t be happier.” She giggled, putting her arm around your waist.

In the middle of them both, with an arm over your shoulder and one around your waist—you simply sighed, sparing the giddy interviewer an exaggerated suffering expression.

Again, the clip switched—it was now another blooper of you in the Iron Man movie, the scene where you handed Tony’s arse to him in the boxing ring. Instead of acting as scripted, Gwen Paltrow got up from her seat and strode over to the boxing ring, stepping inside gracefully and planting one right on your lips.

Presently, you giggled as you thought back to this moment. Gwen was your impulsive queen. Your idol.

From the floor, RDJ squawked in shock, exclaiming about being cheated and betrayed and Gwen flung her stiletto off her foot at him without moving from your lips.

When she finally did, she simply smiled at you kindly, “you just looked so good that I couldn’t not kiss you, sweets.” She shrugged and you, on screen, laughed at her as you leaned back in to kiss her cheek.

(Unfortunately the scene was not included in the movie—but Gwen never wasted an opportunity to talk about it, and you, if the chance arose).

The clip moved onto another one—back to the Thor : Ragnarok movie, you and Heimdall were fighting together, however you missed a step in your stunt and ended up stumbling. Idris immediately caught you with a steady arm around your waist, full you to him so you could stabilise yourself.

You smiled up at him thankfully, squeezing his arm in gratitude (totally not because you’d just wanted to feel his bicep).

You watched as your on screen self get distracted again and Idris murmured to Tom who’d now appeared next to him, “I feel like it’s dishonourable how much I want her to fall so I can catch her again now.”

“Mate, trust me,” Tom laughed, “I completely understand. But she doesn’t need the rescuing.”

“That she does not.” Both men smiled fondly as they watched you.

Presently, you were actively refusing to blush.

A different clip started up—Florence Pugh was being interviewed, looking breathtaking in her green dress. “—did you take anything from set?” The interviewer was asking, smiling at Florence.

“Um—not much, just Y/n’s heart.” Florence immediately cracked up at her own joke, smiling widely. “And her underwear too.” She added.

The interviewer opened her mouth to say something more, giggling at Florence as she continued speaking: “and before you ask, no. I wouldn’t be selling, for any price. Finders keepers and all that shite—plus, she’s my girl, so. That rule applies even more so. No one else can take her heart. Or her pants.”

Watching your friend, you giggled at her cheesy smile at her words before getting distracted by your group chat, where multiple of your friends and co-starts had seen your message and were now responding. Your laughter increased tenfold as you opened the thread.

[zhelin-thames]

Now pay interest - 10% per year

Masterpost

As the Bat-family processed what had just happened, Jason was already plotting.

“So,” Jason began, a wicked grin spreading across his face, “does this mean we have a ghost King in the family now? Because I’ve got so many questions.”

“Focus, Todd,” Damian snapped, though his own curiosity was evident in his furrowed brow. “That... entity was clearly powerful. Father, why did you not inform us of this connection sooner?”

Bruce didn’t even glance up from his computer. “It was irrelevant.”

“Irrelevant?” Dick exclaimed, gesturing wildly. “A glowing ghost guy just popped out of a portal in our cave to collect a debt, and you think it’s irrelevant?”

Tim, typing furiously, pulled up the mission logs from Bruce’s early years. “Okay, I think I found the mission in Prague where this all went down. It says here... wait. Danny wasn’t just some guy you ran into. You trained with him in the League of Assassins?”

Steph leaned over Tim’s shoulder to read. “Wait, what?! He’s an assassin ghost King?”

Jason let out a low whistle. “This just gets better and better.”

Duke raised his hand, hesitant. “Uh, just a thought… if he’s the Ghost King, doesn’t that mean he has control over, like, all ghosts? Including... uh, Lazarus Pits?”

Everyone froze. Slowly, they all turned to Bruce, whose expression darkened slightly.

“Yes,” Bruce admitted reluctantly.

“Holy crap,” Jason said, leaning back with a stunned look. “He’s the reason the Pits freaked me out after I came back, isn’t he? I thought it was just the resurrection thing, but you knew he was tied to them!”

Bruce’s silence was answer enough.

“I want to meet him,” Cass signed firmly.

“Seconded,” Duke added. “He seems cool.”

“No,” Bruce said, finally standing and cutting through the rising chatter. His tone was firm, brooking no argument. “Danny is not someone you want to get involved with.”

But before Bruce could elaborate, the room was bathed in green light again.

Danny reappeared, now sitting cross-legged in mid-air, holding what looked like a spectral clipboard. “Forgot one thing,” he announced casually.

Bruce’s glare could have burned through steel. “What now?”

Danny smirked. “I want interest. Fifteen years is a long time to wait for sixteen bucks. So let’s say... ten percent per year?”

Jason cackled as the rest of the family broke out into laughter. Even Damian couldn’t entirely suppress a smirk.

Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose again. “I’m not paying you interest.”

Danny shrugged, grinning. “Guess I’ll have to stick around until you do. Hope you’ve got extra space, because I’m moving in.”

The Batcave erupted into chaos. Jason and Steph cheered, Tim frantically calculated how much Bruce technically owed, and Bruce’s patience reached its breaking point.

“Fine,” Bruce growled. “But you’re staying in the guest room.”

Danny floated down, looking entirely too smug. “Deal. Now, who’s up for pizza? I’m starving.”

[jayschaconne]

blurb! | Park Jay

summary: Jay being silly and affectionate because he can’t seem to realize how drunk he is.

warnings: slightly suggestive themes.

genre: fluff!

a/n: had to write this cute little thing after those pictures dropped. seriously need to lay off writing smut for a while.

…

Wet lips that peppered sloppy kisses alongside your neck, giggles tickling the soft skin.

Your shared bedroom had fallen silent, with only sounds of Jay’s lips pressing down on skin he so deeply wanted to devour right now.

“Mm, my baby is so pretty,” he slurred sounding half-awake.

It had been 10 minutes with you trying to get Jay to go to bed. It always ended up with him springing back up and unbuttoning his shirt and undoing his belt. He’d slid off straps of your night gown, lips desperately searching for skin to leave his mark on.

“Baby, I wanna make love,” his lips would ghost over yours. A smile teasing as it grew against your lips. His fingers would work the ribbons coming undone on your back.

“Jay,” you’d say, pulling him away from you. “Baby, stop,” gasps would leave you at how much more intense he’d get when intoxicated.

“I just…feel so hot,” a sigh left him. “You keep making me put my clothes back on,” he frowned.

“You’re drunk,” you smiled, hands skimming over his shoulders, gently caressing his face.

“No,” a silly chuckle left his throat. “I’m Jay.” With knitted brows, his fingers were pointing to himself, making it seem like he himself wasn’t convinced.

“Wait…where’s my girlfriend?”

“I’m right here, baby.”

“No, no, no. You’re…” he gasped, his eyes droopy from all that consumed liquor.

“You seduced me, didn’t you?” He started panicking, rolling off the bed. “Baby,” He yelled into his phone. “I promise I’d never cheat on you,” he wept.

“You’re such a baby,” you sat there watching your boyfriend lose his mind over how he thought you were some other girl.

“Do you know how hot my girlfriend is?” He was lying back on the bed now. His words, unintelligible, slid off his tongue.

“Hmm? How hot?” You asked, failing to contain the laugh that slipped past your lips.

“She’s just…oh,” he put a hand over his heart, a drunken smile embracing his beautifully sculpted face. “She is so hot…there’s no way I’d ever have eyes for anyone else.”

“I bet,” you agreed with him, feeling giddy at how he talked about you. “What do you like about her?”

“Like?” He cackled. “I don’t know what you’re on about. I’m in love,” he confessed. That smile never wiping off his face.

You wanted to reach over and wrap him closely in between your arms. “You are so darn cute,” you whispered.

“She’s so much more than just my girlfriend.” He sat up again, a sleeve now sliding off his arm, making you giggle at how messy he was.

“Oh?”

“I can’t wait to marry her. Give her my last name,” he was starting to doze off amidst all his rambling. “Mrs. Park,” he flushed at the thought.

It left your heart feeling so full of him. Not knowing what you’d do with the amount of love that had sprouted deep within every each bone of your body by just the mere thought of him.

[kingstarkingslay]

🌟 RANKING REMUS LUPIN’S BEST "WEREWOLF CARD" EXCUSES 🌟

🥉 TIER 3: LOW EFFORT, BUT IT WORKS

5. "I'm experiencing a rare sensitivity to [current weather]."

Used For: Avoiding outdoor activities (changes reason based on conditions)

Effectiveness: 7/10 - Teachers assume it's a chronic condition and stop questioning

4. "My circadian rhythms require recalibration."

Used For: Skipping early morning classes

Effectiveness: 6/10 - McGonagall's eyebrow twitches but she allows it once per lunar cycle

🥈 TIER 2: MEDIUM-EFFORT LIES WITH A STRAIGHT FACE

3. "The moon’s in retrograde." (Not a real thing.)

Used For: Avoiding having to watch Quidditch practices (James buys it; Sirius cackles).

Effectiveness: 8/10 – James panics and asks if he needs chicken soup.

2. "I've developed an unfortunate reaction to [nearby object]." (gestures vaguely)

Used For: Leaving uncomfortable situations

Effectiveness: 8/10 - Works best in potions class where plausible accidents happen

🏆 TIER 1: ABSOLUTE MASTERPIECES OF DECEIT

1. "I'm presently engaged in critical lunar research."

Used For: Leaving any situation with an air of academic importance

Effectiveness: ∞/10 - Works best when said while holding a chocolate bar as if it's research equipment

0. "I’m legally required to lie down." (No such law exists.)

Used For: Everything. Everything.

Effectiveness: ∞/10 – Even McGonagall lets it slide once.

HONORABLE MENTION (THE ONE TIME IT FAILED):

"I can’t, I’m allergic to... this conversation."

Used On: Sirius, who immediately throws a pillow at him.

Verdict: "Try harder, Moony."