#ANYWAY. GASPS FOR AIR

[that-faerie-in-the-corner]

you know what I find fascinating about how Helen is talked about in the works in the epic cycle?

everyone has argued to death over whether she was kidnapped, went willingly, was influenced/controlled/threatened by Aphrodite, whatever, but the thing is the actual TEXTS can't seem to make up their minds on Helen. everyone will be cursing Helen's name as an unfaithful wife and destroyer of men in Agamemnon but then Paris will be called a "robber-rapist" which would obviously heavily imply that he stole and assaulted her (plus the part where Clytemnestra basically says "shut the fuck up about Helen she didn't force you to do all that", although how much we're supposed to agree with her is debatable). In Iphigenia In Aulis we're going to war to get REVENGE on the Trojans AND HELEN but then Agamemnon will accuse Menelaus of "lust(ing) only to hold a lovely woman in (his) arms", calls him crazy for wanting her back, and then when Menelaus changes his mind about killing Iphigenia to get the winds back he says "Could I not obtain A perfect marriage elsewhere, if I longed for Marrying? But a brother whom I should Most cherish, I was about to forfeit To gain a Helen, so bartering excellence For evil" which is still pretty spiteful towards Helen but also really fucking weird to say if he only wanted her back to kill or otherwise punish her. Then, in the same play, the Greeks are described as wanting to sail to Troy so "That they may halt the plunder of marriage beds And the rape and seizure of Greek women" which would also imply Helen was, in fact, raped and seized, otherwise why would it be phrased like that and not like, "seduced" or "whisked away" or whatever? In Orestes Elektra and Orestes interpret Helen's actions in the worst possible light while when Helen actually speaks she seems generally sympathetic towards them, distraught and grieving over the whole situation, and claims that she went because Aphrodite made her mad, which could absolutely be a lie, but the thing is we just don't know who's the unreliable narrator here Is this a translation thing? Indicative of a really weird idea of what rape is? Is this an intentional writing choice? This got me to thinking and then I realized that if Menelaus was away when Helen left then he almost certainly doesn't actually know what happened. He didn't see or hear what happened, he doesn't get a chance to talk to Helen and have her explain until after the war, and obviously none of the other Greeks would know for sure either, right? And I just think it is kind of a missed opportunity that adaptations don't really do anything with this kind of unspoken conflict at all. Paris the Musical kind of does (Menelaus believes Helen was abducted when she ended up begrudgingly going with Paris trying to help him to escape) but like, why do all the greek men have one idea of Helen in adaptations? Why don't they argue about it? Why don't they question Menelaus about his motivations more? What if (especially if Aphrodite fucked with her head, as I am one to believe) Helen doesn't even trust herself on her own intentions? What if Menelaus tears himself up debating this with himself every night? Like, could I trust that she wouldn't do this to me and our daughter? Is it better that my wife doesn't love me anymore and is safe with her new lover, or that she does but is trapped against her will having who knows what done to her? Do I know my wife anymore? Did I ever know her in the first place? What if he lays eyes on Helen, his Helen, for the first time in ten years and his sword slips from his grasp as he realizes that yes, of course he knows her, how could he have ever doubted? Or maybe he still doesn't know if he knows her, but maybe he doesn't need to, because he knows that she is tired and scared, and he still loves her, and he just wants to take her back to their home? What then? Hm?

[checkadii]

Luganodeeeee……. Luganodeeeeeeeeee…..

Boo

[kitten4sannie]

someone please sedate me

[lovesodeepandwideandwell]

🍴

[septemberlikestea]

grief is crazy what if i saw a video and had a flashback and broke down. in the span of 5 minutes and ongoing. come on man.

[captainjonnitkessler]

I can't tell if I'm sick or if it's just the aftereffects of going to the gym. If the gym is so healthy for you why are the symptoms the same symptoms as being sick, huh? CHECKMATE scientists

[jasvi-art]

-- it would be enough.

so happy to see the menace back. i will paint him 1000x times

[lasalebete]

up thinking about jrr's chronic pillow holding

[chasing-clovers]

can you listen to delicate by taylor swift without rolling around flailing your limbs whisper screaming the lyrics and tearing up a little bit, or have you read acswy?

[altruisticalastor]

Part two was so good I loved it so much, definitely wasn’t on the verge of tears at some point

I just wanna see them happy man😭 they better live in a pretty house with babies and cuddle in bed every night with their babies playing around on the bed every night while Alastor drinks his disgusting black coffee

And because I know how much you love angst I feel the need to clarify that by ‘them’ I mean ALASTOR and reader, not VOX and reader‼️

ALASTOR. NEVER VOX.

I will chew Vox until he explodes from glitched so much

good thing you clarified otherwise i would have—! who knows what i would have done 💆🏻‍♀️ anyways! we’ll have to wait and see if the lovebirds get their happy ending… one could only dream 💭

but thank you so much for your support!! so glad you’re enjoying the story so far <3 (:

[darcyolsson]

today was a Day my besties, i rediscovered my love of rice cakes (why did i ever quit eating them.....), deleted the guy i was dating off my social media, apparently finally dissolved the stitches from my wisdom tooth surgery (they were supposed to be gone a full week ago) and, most notably, exercised for the first time in 2 years even though i hate exercising. i feel like i nearly died and i'm going to bed now. unfortunately i genuinely look forward to doing this again next week

[manyofnine]

I somehow managed to fuck up really really badly. And I've been living with such a fog in my brain that I was unable to see the extent of my fuck-up until waking up today.

It took 3 days to see my fuck-ups and get myself into gear.

first: a day out of commission, caused by the most excruciating migraine of the last two years, including but not limited to puking out my guts

second: a day of being confronted with everything I lack and and stand to lose, but zero motivation to change, just drifting along towards the abyss

third: today. waking up with a gasp and the horrible realisation that it's the last chance to make right what should have been accomplished weeks ago.

[byjorbs-archive]

@roseypeached 8x10 :)

eddie remembers something frank told him, back when rock bottom was actually not rock bottom at all, about how he can't put all his feelings in a box. how it would blow open and take everyone around him, including himself, with it. he wonders if kim was the box flying open or if moving to texas is. what would frank even think about all this. he's thought about calling him a handful of times, just break it all down to him and beg frank to just tell him why this is happening. why did this all happen ? he's not sure he deserves that though. the relief of counseling through this until his son has. it's probably not something frank or anyone would agree with. he's not even really sure the others agree that this is even a good idea for whatever reason. everyone is holding back something but he doesn't care. he has to go be with his son.

there's something he can't admit out loud though. not even to buck. even though he is practically begging him to for reasons he gets but also just doesn't. he doesn't want to leave. he's not even sure why. he wants to be with his son. all that matters is el paso. so why does leaving los angles feel like leaving home more than leaving el paso ever did ? he stuffs that feeling into one of the many boxes in the uhaul. he puts extra tape on it just to be sure it doesn't come flying open. his belongings and desires can't be scattered all over the road. that's already how his son ended up away from him anyway. his son is in el paso and that's where he needs to be. that's where he wants to be. buck even made that so much easier for him to do. as he always does. there's a part of eddie that just he wishes they could just be mad at each other. eddie can handle slammed doors and angry words. that's easy. why does eddie even feel like he's responsible for leaving him behind ? saying goodbye to buck while it rains and buck hands over protein cookies to make the ride easier gives him that same feeling as when shannon was leaving for the summer the first year they met. he hates it. it just hurts. " i hope you know you do matter to me. " and it's the most honest thing he can say right now. anything else he could say is at the bottom of one of boxes and those aren't coming undone. he just needs to get in the truck. the good solider starts to settle in him, knowing his mission is to go to his son no matter what he has to leave behind in the process. buck's friendship. his companionship. it's not something he's ever had before. maybe with shannon when they were kids but still. as he hugs buck goodbye he knows he's going to miss that the most. he's going to miss sharing every day with buck. hm. weird. he reminds buck that him and chris are just a call away. he doesn't know why this feels so awkward. so hard. he manages to get in the truck though. not without looking back with a smile because it's just easy to smile with buck. even when saying goodbye. his own smile grows even as buck's starts to fade. that's okay. he can be the strong one. he can drive away and refuse to stop smiling -- because this is good, this is what he wants. isn't it ? he gets about three hours down the road before that dreadful feeling in his chest is just too much. until that miserable feeling starts to eat away at him, the amount miles feel like they're getting longer instead of shorter. he usually calls buck during long drives. he finds his name easily, he's second in his favorites - right under chris and presses his best friend's name to call him. he doesn't even let buck say anything before he's already talking. " hey, remember to go to your profile on the streaming apps on the tv. i don't need you messing up my perfectly circulated hulu because you can't decide what to watch three nights in a row. "

[dreamofbecoming]

first ambulance shift review: mixed bag! complicated feelings about first responder burnout and lack of labor rights, but also the resulting detachment from caring about individual patients

(additionally, carrying a 50lb backpack up and down 3-8 flights of stairs 6 or 7 times a day is. uh.

muscles i didn’t even know i had are in pain)

[vanyafresita]

suspension of disbelief can only do so much sometimes lol

[sherokutakari]

Oh

Okay

Watched it now

I get it