#Allie and Karma -> Remus

[mydearestdarlingdead]

I love how all my couples have that one character that's just preaching the whole 'They're meant for eachother!' thing and no one listens to them

[mydarlingdearestdead]

The Decline of Icarus

Decline

In the Last Strains of Sunlight - Remus, Maria and Emmeline "I pick hell." - Remus and Allie "The final straw!" - Remus and Maria "I don't think I care." - Remus and Maria A Threadbare, Baby Blue Bear - Remus and Jan "Charlie..." - Maria and Charles Crocodile Expression - Maria and Charles Glitter-Free - Remus, Maria and Charles "Happy birthday, Remus..." - Remus and Karma "God forbid your mother has friends." - Remus, Karma, Allie and Maria Muffins are a fair price - Remus, Allie and Jan Halloween - Remus and Allie "Dyslexia strikes again." - Remus, Karma and Allie "Cats and dogs." - Remus, Karma, Allie and Nyx Bad Idea - Remus and Karma The Allistar James Library- Remus and Karma Natural Progression - Remus "Took like you." - Remus and Maria Analytical Mind - Remus Musical - Allie Valentine's Day - Remus and Jan Anonymous Love - Remus and Allie Finality (Karma's End) - Remus, Karma and Allie Make Believe - Remus, Karma and Allie Birthday Gifts - Remus and Jan "The woman I married." - Maria and Charles Time Flies... - Remus, Karma and Allie Allistar James - Jan and Allie Thank you for your genetic contribution - Maria and Charles "Hated the lot of you." - Allie Dysphoria - Remus and Allie Silence - Ivory A 'What Not To Do' Guide - Remus, Karma and Allie Knowing Him - Remus, Karma and Allie

The Decline of Icarus is the original WIP for me. It started with Remus and Karma on a stormy day and it always has since. All my ocs come in pairs, but Remus and Karma are where that began. If the house was burning down, I would save those two. Not because they're the best or the most original. but because they saved me when I needed them and I owe them.

Largely, Decline is centred around the Allistar James library, that which Allie is named after. It is the epicentre of the horrors and the delights alike. Every version of this story starts here and it must end here as well. Cyclical.

Really, Decline is s story about grief. It is grief in all its forms, it's beauty and devastation.

Characters:

Remus Kenning Karma Malik Allistar 'Allie' James Katelyn 'Katie' Thatcher Ivory Miller Maria Kenning-White Charles White Jan Lewandoski

[u2fangirlie-blog]

50 Things for My 50th Birthday - Now With 10 Bonus Things!

50 Things for My 50th Birthday

A continuation of my 40 Things for 40 List, with 10 additional entries for 50. Plus 10 Bonus Things!

Originally written December 2013 on my 40th birthday. It's a list of bits of wisdom I wish I had known when I was younger. Every item has a story behind it. I don't know if this is original, intelligent, humorous, creative, interesting, or valuable to anyone other than myself. But it means something to me.

Maybe someday I'll write an annotated version of the list with the stories for each one. Then that would turn into a book. Maybe it's better to give short snippets and remain mysterious than to overshare everything. December 2023.

40 Things for my 40th Birthday: 12/2013

1. The Universe has a sense of humor which manifests itself as irony. Take time to stop and notice the big glowing neon signs that point to irony.

2. Karma, like gravity, is a force of nature. It does not discriminate. It balances your actions and consequences like balancing an equation.

3. It’s better to be single and alone than be in a bad relationship for the sake of being in a relationship.

4. See the patterns and interconnections - streams, veins in leaves, flowers, moss, agates, geodes, galaxies, calendars, time – it is beautiful and awesome.

5. Every day is different. If today is shitty, tomorrow will be shitty in a different way.

6. Look for the positive. Thousands of things go right every day.

7. Have a good work ethic. Do your best, but don’t let perfectionism interfere.

8. Know your history. Remember your ancestors and family. You could not be who and where you are without all of their hard work.

9. Don’t bite the hook.

10. Don’t feed the troll.

11. Remember Professor Remus Lupin’s Defense Against the Dark Arts lessons – Ridiculous, Expecto Patronum, and Chocolate.

12. Learn crafts – sewing, knitting, beading, etc. – it enriches life. It’s fun to give surprise presents to people.

13. Dream out loud at high volume. Turn it up to 11.

14. No good deed goes unpunished.

15. The Platinum Rule: Treat people how they want to be treated.

16. Always have 2 weeks’ supply of socks and underwear.

17. Invest in good bras. Your back and boobs will thank you later in life.

18. Always wear comfortable shoes. Your feet will thank you later in life.

19. Don’t waste time in front of the mirror. Save money. Cosmetics are optional.

20. Do not fester. To fester is bad. Don’t bottle things up for years. When you eventually explode, it only frightens, confuses, and pisses off the target of your nuclear blast, and innocent bystanders may be injured.

21. Don’t confuse lust for love. Lust and love are not the same thing. Don’t allow physical attraction to obscure reality. Ask questions. You might not like the answers but ask anyway.

22. Beware of charming men. They use sexual energy to get attention and evoke a reaction, like using glamour magic. The feeling is fleeting. It’s nothing special.

23. Don’t wait by the phone or the computer. When a man says, “I’ll call you tomorrow,” he probably won’t. He might intend to call, but he doesn’t know which tomorrow he means – 24 hours, 6 months, 8 years later. Don’t take it personally.

24. Diamonds are not a girl’s best friend. You don’t need a ring. A loving relationship is the real treasure.

25. U2 is the greatest rock ‘n roll band and “Achtung Baby” is the greatest rock ‘n roll album in the entire Universe.

26. You are your own worst enemy. You are the only enemy you will ever have. Stop listening to the Itty Bitty Shitty Committee.

27. You are your own best ally. You are the only ally you will ever have. Never betray yourself to others or to yourself.

28. It is what it is.

29. Chill the fuck out.

30. On the subject of Big Girl Panties: Pull them up. Deal with it, whatever it is. They can be She-Ra Princess of Power, Wonder Woman, or Tinkerbell Underoos. In times when you can’t pull up your Big Girl Panties, get some Coping Skills so you can deal with it. Use Coping Skills until the problem is solved or the situation subsides. Repeat as necessary. Coping skills will eventually become the New Normal way of dealing with it.

31. Learn as many life skills as you are capable of doing - housekeeping, home repairs, yard maintenance, gardening, cooking, car maintenance, etc. Be as self-sufficient as possible.

32. Know when to ask for help. Offer to help others too. Know when to hire professionals to do the job.

33. Felines are the best animals ever in the history of all species on Earth. Being a Crazy Cat Lady is wonderful. It’s the cats who are crazy.

34. Read everything. Read constantly. Develop highly effective writing and verbal skills. Clear communication is essential.

35. Book smarts, diplomas, and degrees are not an accurate measure of intelligence. Common sense, ability, skill, and experience are most important.

36. No one likes an insufferable know-it-all. Don’t correct others even if you are right – unless it is a life-or-death situation.

37. Practice mindfulness. Orient your perception to the meta level.

38. Be grateful and express gratitude.

39. Be compassionate, sympathetic, and empathetic – even to people you dislike or who dislike you. Everybody hurts. Everybody has bad days. Understand that.

40. Remember the reason why you had your ears pierced on your 30th birthday. Enjoy the small pleasures of life: favorite foods, scents, sights, sounds, clothes, jewelry, and all the pretty things. These are what the dead remember and desire the most.

50 Things for My 50th Birthday: 12/2023

41. Toxic Situations: Know when to get out on your terms while you still have options. Leave before they force you out. Otherwise, you could be left scrambling and everything is worse.

42. The Ultimate Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything is 42, obviously. (Thanks to Douglas Adams.) 42 is the atomic number of molybdenum. 42 divine beings, with Osiris, Ma’at, and Thoth in the Hall of Truth, judge souls before they enter the afterlife in Egyptian mythology.

43. Dialectical Behavior Therapy skills, motherfucker, do you use them? You spent 2 years in Fight Club. Strive to be skillful every day. The core skill sets are mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotional regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness. Remember your values. Remember Wise Mind. Remember Radical Acceptance.

44. Gaslighting: Discussing problems is complaining. Telling the truth is causing trouble. Explaining yourself is making excuses. Asking questions is undermining others, making others look bad, or challenging authority. Challenging hurtful comments is not knowing how to take a joke. Expressing emotional needs is neediness. Expressing emotions is seeking attention. Showing confidence and intelligence and using an above-average vocabulary is being a bitch, being a know-it-all, or flexing your education and experience.

45. You need people whether or not you like it. Remember the pandemic lockdown. Remember working from home for a year and a half. You thought you trained your whole life as an introvert for that historic moment and would be excellent at it. No. It was objectively bad. It was a disaster. You need people. Be a better daughter, sister, and friend to the people in your life.

46. People change for better or worse. People will drift in and out of your life. People grow apart. This is a natural part of life. Accept it.

47. Magical Thinking: It’s one thing to know better. It’s an entirely different thing to do better. This is stupid behavior. It doesn’t matter how smart you are, how hard you work, or how good your intentions are. It’s never going to work out how you want it to. It’s never going to get better. And no one cares. Accept responsibility for your part in it. Don’t make excuses. Do something different. Do better. Change.

48. “Do or do not, there is no try” is fundamentally bad advice. Yoda’s lesson led Luke to black-or-white thinking. What would Spock or Picard teach Luke about learning a new skill? Get up and do it again until you can do it or find another way to do it.

49. Everybody is sick of your shit. Everybody, including you, is sick of your shit.

50. On the subject of Giving a Fuck: You either give too many fucks or you never have enough fucks to give. You need to practice, as the internet meme says, “moderate fuck distribution.” Ask yourself when you truly feel like you have zero fucks to give, are you completely out of fucks? Can you have a fuck debt, have a negative number of fucks? Or does something magical happen? Like a mint in the bottom of your purse, like loose change between seat cushions, like a potato chip under the fridge, there is always one more fuck to give. Like a free play token or an extra life in video game, one more fuck will magically appear. That one magical fuck will be dirty, hard, bitter, and broken, but it will be there when you need it. That one magical fuck can be saved or given as needed until you can replenish your regular supply of fucks.

BONUS CONTENT: I have more than 10 things to add to the list of 50 things.

Life is unpredictable. I don’t know if I’ll live another 10 years to continue the list, so I’m writing 10 Bonus Things. Everyone loves free bonus things!

51. “If I don’t do what my parents want, they will be mad at me.” WHAT? Did you just say the quiet part out loud? Every decision in your life is based on it! How can you be in the fifth decade of your life on this planet? Are you even an adult?

52. You can’t be needy if you don’t have needs. Meet your needs for yourself. No one else will. If there’s the slightest stink of neediness on you, people will abuse and reject you.

53. Don’t have expectations of others. Don’t engage in wishful thinking. Stop wanting people to demonstrate their feelings or care for you in the way you want. They won’t. It’s never going to happen. If you ask for what you want, then you are needy or attention-seeking. Accept what they offer as they give it, even if doesn’t meet your expectations, even if it’s nothing. That may be the only thing they can offer or the only way they know how to express it.

54. Most of being an adult is lying to everyone that everything is okay and that you are fine, when in reality your life is an unbearable mess, and you are not anywhere close to being okay.

55. Nothing you do is ever good enough for others. You’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. It never changes.

56. “Use it or lose it.” You refused to believe it until you quit using it and you lost it. You don’t need to look in the mirror to see it. How does your body feel? Get up, girl, and use it.

57. No one gets out of here alive. Prepare for your death. Don’t leave the burden of your funeral plans, estate, and debts to your family, friends, or strangers. If you worked on projects or created things with other people, include it in your will. Your legacy, and that of others, literally could be thrown away. If you don’t tell people what you want, they will get it wrong. Then you’ll have to come back and haunt the fuck out of those people.

58. There’s no escaping your past, especially with family. They remember everything. Every obnoxious thing you did as a teenager. Every time you freaked out. Every time you had a bad day. Every mistake you made. Every mental health breakdown. It doesn’t matter how hard you work to change and overcome your problems. You’ll always be that past worst version in their minds, and they’ll hold it against you forever.

59. Your family is never going to forgive you for getting a degree in English. It’s always going to come down to their misperception that you are nitpicking and correcting them when you’re not. They’re going to throw it in your face like a glass of ice water.

60. Remember the “Litany Against Fear” from Dune. You memorized it when you were 15 years old. It still works.

[olivers-cocoapuffs]

Good morning,

Finishing episode five of Buffy. Kind of obsessed.

Forced myself to stop listening to the heartless soundtrack. I miss it.

I just had a weird idea of Remus Kenning hanging upside down from monkey bars and calmly talking to Karma and Allie until they have to get down and admit they can't without help (cue one or the many times Allie James has tried and failed to prove his strength)

Anyway enough about my dreary existence

I want to ask wich marauders characters do you think are most likely to have to carry out that scenario?

Have a day to rival all previous days

GOOD EVENING MY DEAR IRISH EVAN

isn’t there like a hundred seasons (bit of an exaggeration but yk)???

That doesn’t seem like fun, go back to it

Evan talking calmly and Barty and Regulus not being able to get down. I just think it’d be funny if regulus go stuck up there (also come on, he’s allergic to the outside and cannot do a pull up) and I think Barty would be really cocky then be like “wait no. Wait HELP”

good night!!

[messrmarauder]

[disclaimer: remadora au headcanon rant, i don’t actually write fanfic but i think about them literally 24 hours a day so i like to have my headcanons done well]

PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK IM GOING INSANE

i’ve obsessed over the fact remus and tonks survived the battle and their au in my mind that i regularly forget they actually died. i’m always daydreaming about them living on from the war and i always imagined they’d have one more son called alastor john lupin who’s four years younger than teddy.

i really didn’t want to give them anymore children in my mind because i don’t think they’d want more than two and i can’t imagine them with much more than that. i thought about how much remus would love a little girl but i just cant make myself give harry and remus the same amount of kids with the same gender number and order, it seems weird.

although, for years i’ve thought about them losing a baby during the pregnancy and remus going through all this guilt because he thinks it’s karma for not wanting teddy etc etc. it would have been a girl and tonks would be so devastated and feeling guilty because she knew remus wanted a girl so badly, angst angst angst. i think considering the circumstances they’d name her either just hope lupin or eleanor hope lupin. just so the initials were not HEL lol.

but the reason for the post is that i’m annoyed that ted gets a first name namesake and lyall has nothing. i love alastor too much as a first name to change it and i love the fact they could call him AJ so i don’t want to make lyall a middle name. plus that’s still not fair anyway. so what if they had a third son after ally and he was lyall. lye for short. teddy, ally, lyall/lye. but then imagine they named a child after mad-eye moody before they named one after lyall..

but then i couldn’t think of a good middle name because it’s uncomfortable to choose between james and sirius and remus wouldn’t want to take that from harry. so who else ???

i thought maybe a different friend of remus or tonks that we don’t know about (a long term friend of remus that died or tonks auror friend that died) but it’s not as strong an idea because i don’t have a lot of solid OCs for them. i would say charlie but i’m not keen on it because it doesnt go with my au at all because remus hates charlie and they’ve fought about tonks for years. like by then they’ll be civil and probably get on but not on namesaking terms, he’s not a freak like harry.

speaking of harry, i thought it would be so uncomfortable for harry to have a namesake so i thought maybe the story is that they let teddy pick and teddy picked harry so they couldn’t argue and it wasn’t some big cringey awkward moment.

i’m actually cut between making ally and lye twins because it’ll make the whole “we don’t have enough names, we’ll let teddy decide” and the “sorry we named grandchildren after mad eye moody before we named one after you” more believable.

i do have this whole thing about remus and his dad having some tension and john being the name that is always passed down as a middle name in lupin tradition so it’s not SO unbelievable if they waited until their third child to mention lyall. if lyall is the second son he could have to have the middle name john which ruins AJ again. and alastor harry lupin doesn’t have the same ring to it. and that makes lyall, lyall john lupin II. but if i just make it alastor lyall it’s not fair to lyall to be just a middle name. BUT if its lyall alastor then it ruins my headcanon of the john lupin tradition because i bet lyall would be annoyed about teddy not being john. (i have a post about teddy’s middle name in the emma mwpp tag, i’ll tag it in this post so you can find it) maybe they just didn’t name him one after lyall because he was alive and mad eye was dead and gave them the money ??

i imagine them really close in age anyway with a four year age gap from teddy and they would have lost hope/eleanor in that four years. i feel like tonks would be caught between teddy being an only child (which they both hated) and going through pregnancy again because it was really bad for her with teddy and she’d be so nervous after losing the little girl. so i think she would absolutely stop after two because she would be so stressed during ally’s pregnancy.

so either lyall is an accident so they’re really close in age or they’re twins. or what if there’s some big auror mission and there’s a baby left behind and they just adopt the baby and it’s a big scandal because remus is a werewolf and who the hell is this baby? so they get the baby not long after ally is born so they aren’t twins but really close in age and tonks doesn’t have to go through pregnancy again. but then i would probably name that auror mission baby alastor because it’s more fitting. i’m losing my mind.

so:

edward remus lupin (teddy) 1998

alastor john lupin (ally/aj) 2002

lyall harry lupin (lye) 2003

OR

edward remus lupin (teddy) 1998

alastor lyall lupin (ally) 2002

OR

edward remus lupin (teddy) 1998

lyall john lupin II (lye) 2002

alastor harry lupin (ally) 2003

OR

edward remus lupin (teddy) 1998

lyall alastor john lupin (lye/potentially still aj) 2002

[also side note i don’t take on the canon timeline of the next gen because i think the trio had kids way to early (not in a judgy way because of age but i just have so much post war headcanons for them before they settle down) so only bill would be having his kids at the same time as teddy. which side note x2 makes losing their little girl so much harder seeing teddy play with victoire and dominique being born around the time they lost her.]

i’m leaning towards alastor john and lyall harry as twins or very close in age

~ i have a million thousand headcanons about remadora postwar/teddy/eleanor/ally/remus vs charlie/lyall vs remus tension/bills kids etc etc. especially losing the baby, i torture myself by thinking about it all the time. i already have heaps of headcanon post request things, that i promise i will actually do one day, so if u have anymore requests just add it to my pile in my asks i will do it this month promise i have one about the pregnancy i’m writing rn if yous still want it ~

[the-hidden-writer]

Whumptober 2020 Masterpost

A collection of all my works from taking part in @whumptober2020

Strength - Prompt: hanging Fandom: Mission Impossible Character(s): Benji Dunn [Read on Tumblr] [Read on AO3]

Annoyingly Late - Prompt: kidnapped Fandom: James Bond Character(s): James Bond & Q [Read on Tumblr] [Read on AO3]

Parental Instinct - Prompt: held at gunpoint Fandom: MCU Character(s): Edwin Jarvis & Tony Stark [Read on Tumblr] [Read on AO3]

Misunderstanding - Prompt: buried alive Fandom: The Umbrella Academy Character(s): Klaus Hargreeves [Read on Tumblr] [Read on AO3]

Escape..? - Prompt: failed escape Fandom: The Stanley Parable Character(s): Stanley & The Narrator [Read on Tumblr] [Read on AO3]

Some Things Just Can’t Be Forgiven - Prompt: “stop please” Fandom: Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. Character(s): Daisy Johnson & Leo Fitz [Read on Tumblr] [Read on AO3]

Always, Your Watson - Prompt: support Fandom: Sherlock Holmes Character(s): John Watson & Sherlock Holmes [Read on Tumblr] [Read on AO3]

The Horror Of Staying Alive - Prompt: abandoned Fandom: Spies Are Forever Character(s): Owen Carvour & Curt Mega [Read on Tumblr] [Read on AO3]

Unexpected Sacrifice - Prompt: “take me instead” Fandom: Timeless Character(s): Garcia Flynn [Read on Tumblr] [Read on AO3]

When It’s All Over - Prompt: blood loss Fandom: Ace Attorney Character(s): Godot [Read on Tumblr] [Read on AO3]

Endless - Prompt: struggling Fandom: Portal Character(s): Chell [Read on Tumblr] [Read on AO3]

Not All Humans Are Nice - Prompt: broken bones Fandom: Undertale Character(s): Papyrus [Read on Tumblr] [Read on AO3]

The Captain’s Fall - Prompt: delayed drowning Fandom: Peter Pan Character(s): Captain James Hook [Read on Tumblr] [Read on AO3]

The Fire - Prompt: fire Fandom: Apples & Knives (original) Character(s): Raven, Gentleman, Whisper [Read on Tumblr] [Read on AO3]

Rebirth (And Restraint) - Prompt: science gone wrong Fandom: Portal Character(s): GLaDOS & Wheatley [Read on Tumblr] [Read on AO3]

What A Dream May Bring - Prompt: hallucinations Fandom: Anastasia (musical) Character(s): Gleb Vaganov [Read on Tumblr] [Read on AO3]

Manipulative Murder - Prompt: wrongfully accused Fandom: Ace Attorney Character(s): Miles Edgeworth & Manfred Von Karma [Read on Tumblr] [Read on AO3]

In Another (Lack Of) World - Prompt: panic attacks Fandom: Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. Character(s): Deke Shaw (& Peggy Carter) [Read on Tumblr] [Read on AO3]

Life Goes On - Prompt: mourning loved one Fandom: MCU Character(s): Tony Stark, JARVIS, Edwin Jarvis [Read on Tumblr] [Read on AO3]

Fool Of A King - Prompt: medieval Fandom: Nyctophobia (original) Character(s): Xalior & Erakin [Read on Tumblr] [Read on AO3]

Unfamiliar - Prompt: memory loss Fandom: Ducktales Character(s): Launchpad McQuack [Read on Tumblr] [Read on AO3]

Bittersweet - Prompt: poisoned Fandom: Ace Attorney Character(s): Diego Armando & Dalia Hawthorne [Read on Tumblr] [Read on AO3]

“Sleep” - Prompt: sleep deprivation Fandom: Undertale Character(s): Papyrus [Read on Tumblr] [Read on AO3]

Allies - Prompt: sensory deprivation Fandom: Marvel Character(s): Matt Murdock & Peter Parker [Read on Tumblr] [Read on AO3]

That’s What Friends Are For - Prompt: disorientation Fandom: Harry Potter Character(s): Remus Lupin [Read on Tumblr] [Read on AO3]

A Way Out..? - Prompt: blindness Fandom: The Magnus Archives Character(s): Martin Blackwood & Jonathan Sims [Read on Tumblr] [Read on AO3]

Getting Closer (Literally) - Prompt: earthquake Fandom: Ace Attorney Character(s): Miles Edgeworth & Phoenix Wright [Read on Tumblr] [Read on AO3]

The Quest For Biscuits - Prompt: mugged Fandom: Frasier Character(s): Niles Crane [Read on Tumblr] [Read on AO3]

A Phone Call - Prompt: emergency room Fandom: Modern Family Character(s): Phil Dunphy, Claire Dunphy, Mitchell Pritchett, Jay Pritchett [Read on Tumblr] [Read on AO3]

One Year Later - Prompt: presumed dead Fandom: Agent Carter, MCU Character(s): Peggy Carter [Read on Tumblr] [Read on AO3]

Consequences - Prompt: experiment Fandom: The Nightmare Before Christmas Character(s): Jack Skellington [Read on Tumblr] [Read on AO3]

[anythingforour-moony]

It was their thing.

sequel to “time to let go”

Lily didn’t know how to feel after the conversation she had with James. It had been months ago and to everyone’s delight James had fallen back into old behaviours again, but it only made it harder for her. She was now completely sure that she was utterly and helplessly in love with James Potter.

Never in a million years would she have ever thought to say that about herself. She had fallen, probably already a long time ago for this idiot. This lovable, adorable idiot. Of course, Lily had to realise her feelings just then when he had completely changed his behaviour and decided to move on. Karma, she thought to herself, he has been after you for years but you only want what you can’t have, don’t you? Furious with herself and her stupid feelings which as much as she wanted them to, they didn’t seem to disappear. Lily’s sudden mood change which started right after the day the others had sent her to talk to him, was as obvious as if someone had pointed a spotlight right into your face. The only oblivious one was James.

Suppressing her feelings wasn’t the only thing that made Lily furious these days. To everyone’s shock, James had got himself a girlfriend. A small blonde girl named Allie who had been crushing on him for ages. No one knew how it had started but they were happy that James had found someone he liked. Well, not everyone was happy of course. But Lily knew she had to deal with it as it was her own fault that this had ended this way. She could’ve been in his arms. The thought of that keeping her awake at night.

It wasn’t till the 23rd of march, four month anniversary of James and Allie, that Lily would completely explode. She had taught herself to put on a poker face and seem as happy as she could fake it for Potter since they we’re still friends and she couldn’t imagine loosing him this way too.

They were sitting in the common room, talking about quidditch and school stuff. It was a lovely evening actually, surrounded by friends and happy memories. As much as Lily wanted it to only be the old gang, Allie was apparently now part of it. Sitting on James’ lap, she threw her head back laughing like a maniac to one of James’ stupid jokes. Lily’s face grew hot, all she wanted to do was to shut up that little mouth by-

A soft, calming hand was placed upon on her palm which was hurtfully clenched around the armrest of the little couch they were sitting on. She looked up to meet Remus’ eyes which were filled with sympathy and warmth. Lily quickly told herself to calm down and ignore this burning jealousy in her as she wasn’t in the position to be jealous. She wasn’t his girlfriend, Allie was. She couldn’t deny that.

She had almost calmed down completely when she heard James whisper to his girlfriend, ,,my dear Allieflower, do you enjoy our anniversary?”

Allieflower? ALLIEFLOWER? AllieFLOWER?? He did not do that. Her face was heating up almost being the same shade as her red hair he used to love. She had always been his Lilyflower. Oh god, how she had hated that name. It was so cringy but after all it was their thing. How could he turn it into something as hideous as Allieflower. Lily’s breathing had now increased noticeably. Anyone who didn’t see that she was absolutely and completely raging, must have been blind. Even James seemed to notice it.

He turned around, his confused eyes meeting her fuming gaze. And that’s when it hit her. He had done nothing wrong. He was allowed to call his girlfriend, after all she was still his girlfriend, everything he wanted. Her eyes began to sting and she knew it was only a matter of seconds that she would completely break down. Without saying anything, she quickly grabbed her coat and left the room as fast as she could, leaving all her friends shocked and confused behind.

———

What was that? James didn’t know what to think. All he cared about was if she was okay. She was one of his dearest friends, a slight sting in his heart at that word. He had to make sure she was alright. He looked back to his friends which all seemed as shook as he was except for Remus who looked as if he knew something nobody else did. He turned to his girlfriend Allie who was still looking at the door, a slight sign of annoyance in her eyes. She did not like her, he knew that. The whole school knew he had had a huge crush on Lily for years, of course she would feel threatened by her. Though James knew, she didn’t have to fear anything since Lily didn’t return his feelings he had successfully managed to suppress.

Suddenly James realised how long he had been sitting there since she had run away. He had to go after her. “I gotta check on her”, he said, giving Allie a kiss on the cheek and turning his back to leave the room as well but he was hold back by someone grabbing his arm. “If you go now, it’s over. You have to choose. Me or her?” He immediately recognised her voice. Why would she even ask him that? What kind of question was that? Lily would have never asked him something like that. He met her eyes to see they were filled with jealousy and selfishness. He looked at her up and down in disgust, ashamed he had liked a person who was so disrespectful to his friends. Harshly he shook her hand off his arm which was still holding him back and left her standing alone in the big common room.

Where is she? What if she was hurt? He would never forgive himself if she had got hurt while he had wasted his time with Allie back in the castle. Suddenly he heard soft sobbing noises near the lake.

———

When she heard footsteps approaching her, she thought it would be Remus who had come to comfort her. But oh was she wrong. If she had turned around and seen who it really was, she would have never said those words she was about to say.

“Why does he have to be with her? I know he doesn’t want me any more but her? It hurts, Remus, it hurts. I know it’s basically my own fault for not noticing earlier that he isn’t just an annoying idiot but also a kind person, someone who’d cheer you up no matter what he’s going through himself, someone who would give everything for the people he loves. And he’s good-looking sooo good-looking wow- He’s perfect, isn’t he? And I missed my chance. 5 years, Remus. FIVE!! He had been trying to go out with me for five years and my dumbass had to realise that I love him the minute he tells me that he wants to move on. And it’s my own damn fault. I’m so so stupid...”

Her only answer was laughter. A laughter she knew too damn well. Oh no no no, she thought to herself and slowly turned around to see James standing there, smirking down at her. “So you think I’m good-looking?”, he said, tease fully lifting one of his brows. “No, I definitely did not say that”, she responded, her face heating up again. “Oh, I’m quite sure I remember you saying “he’s soooo good-looking wow””, he sat down beside her, playfully pinching her side. Embarrassed by what just had happened, Lily turned her face away from him.

He put a finger under her chin and moved her face towards him. As she looked into his face, he seemed completely serious and genuine. “I love you Lily Evans, always will, always have.” With that he closed the little space between them, connecting their lips. Lily kissed him back eagerly as she had been waiting for this moment for months, maybe even for years. After a few intense seconds she slightly pulled back. With her arms around his neck, she softly whispered ,,I love you too, idiot” before going back into another kiss.

[mydarlingdearestdead]

Ivory's voice rang sharp and piercing in the stoic silence of the library. It was a special silence: That only witnessed at dawn, dusk and those few, creeping moments in-between. Ivory cared not for the sacredness of the moment, only for how best to shatter it.

"Hello?" She called, paying no heed to the manner in which the eyes of the taxidermy owls in the display cases followed her among the shelves. She was not a paranoid person, you understand; Merely cautious.

Her cries were not met with any tangible reply, only the fluttering of drapes and scampering of mice beneath those of the bookcases which had accumulated the most dust.

Ivory paused, looking upon a collection of volumes: Tolstoy's War and Peace in its original Russian, accompanied by an ancient-looking copy of Great Expectations, Dickens' name emboldened upon the spine and an extended edition on the production and distribution of printers. She yawned, turning from the depressing image before her.

Mere hours from her time, Remus and Karma would congregate here, along with none other than Allistar James. A ritual of theirs, you understand. Torture the boy with the library built in his name.

Huffing, Ivory turned briskly toward the great, hardwood doors. She bypassed them swiftly, her eye snagging upon the window she had propped open on her way in.

[mydarlingdearestdead]

"Why... Why 'Icarus'?" Allie could not disguise the betrayal he felt. In his voice, it shone clear as day. He heard Remus' gasping intake of breath and Karma's resigned sigh. Neither affected him as he had feared they might, however, as, in that instant, Allie felt merely indifferent.

It was Remus who, after moments of tense silence, thought to offer an answer.

"We- We felt like we were in free-fall because of bad decisions- That is, things we could have prevented. Modern Icarus'. He became a sort of mentor-"

"More like a 'This is what not to do' guide." But Karma's dry humour fell only on the deaf ears of the dead.

Allie could only nod in reply, his head swimming with forsaken signs and clues to which he pleaded ignorance. Remus' voice rang clear, however, although tinged with a tinny quality, like those shown in old film cannisters.

No amount of Arthur Conan Doyle makes you a detective, Allie.

Accurate to a fault, our Remus.

[mydarlingdearestdead]

It was December and, in a rare example of mediocrity, snow had begun to fall by Karma's sixteenth birthday. From within the confines of the library, he watched the miniscule, insignificant flakes saunter gently to the ground outside.

He heard Remus before seeing them.

"Why," They began purposefully, "Do you and Allie insist on meeting in the coldest place on Earth?"

"Where else do you suggest?" Karma asked absently, refraining from turning to meet them. True, the school had chosen to save money by refusing to internally heat the library before 9:00 am, but where else did they suppose to be appropriate? The cacophony of the canteen or the sinister silence of the sports-hall? Both were meeting areas favoured by the average student, but, frankly, nobody would dare call Remus and Karma average

Remus grumbled, muttering, "A few degrees less and my blood would freeze in my veins, Karma, I swear-"

"Just sit down." He laughed, vaguely indicating the chair to his left- That at the table's head.

"Oh, speaking of, where is Allie?" The question only came to mind after Remus sat down. They peered at him in confusion and he continued, "I haven't seen him."

After a brief moment, Remus cleared their throat, "Probably still in bed. Knowing him."

"Yeah." Karma inhaled deeply, "Yeah, knowing him."

[mydarlingdearestdead]

Karma threw a ball of twine into the air and seamlessly caught it. He proceeded to do this for perhaps seven minutes until it bored him. Then, he sat up and, peering at Remus' vigorous scribbling, inquired, "Can we leave yet?"

Distractedly, they shook their head. He groaned, twine clasped in hand. The rough texture bit into his flesh in such a way that was rather inviting if you ignored the pain.

"You promised me ice cream." He told them irritably, "I don't appreciate being lied to, Remus."

They nodded, distracted still, "Whatever you say, dear."

"I hate you."

"Mhm. Yep."

Rain was audibly lashing against the window. In truth, Karma did not particularly want ice cream. He simply wanted Remus to take the initiative and declare the weather unfit. This, he knew, they would not do.

Karma withdrew a stained map from his pocket and, releasing the twine onto the carpeted floor where it landed with a dull thud, flattened it out on Remus' duvet. It smelled faintly musty, tinged with an oddly flammable stench. Karma supposed this was from the lighter fluid.

"Remus."

They did not glance at him. The doorbell rang out.

"That's Allie." They said.

Allie, you see, was perpetually late to every single event in his life. Even birth- Four days. Karma was convinced that when the time came for his death, Allie would merely slip into a coma for a few days and wait it out.

"Oh great." He said, sharp tongue dripping with sarcasm, "We're running on Allie-time now."

"You can entertain each other." They snapped, "Stars. Just go open the freakin' door."

"Wow." Karma strolled to the door, throwing his words heedlessly behind his shoulder, "We're breaking out the big swears now, huh? Freaking."

He opened the door and Allie, drenched and dripping, scowled. His rain coat was yellow and shining in the porch-light, a similar colour to his hair. He had been expecting Remus but, when his eyes fell on Karma's bemused expression, his features melted into a grin.

"Can you get me a towel, please?" He asked, speaking at an elevated volume for Remus' sake.

"Linen closet to your right." They called idly.

Obediently, Karma brought Allie what he deemed to be an acceptable towel- An oversized beach towel decorated with Super Mario Bros. characters. He smiled thinly while Allie burst out laughing.

Remus, rather predictably, chose that moment to make an appearance. Bare foot, they wandered toward the pair.

"Oh." They squinted at Allie's sopping frame. He clutched the towel in one hand. "Is it raining or something?"

"Cats and dogs." Allie replied drily.

"Poor cats." Karma added, "They don't like water."

As if on cue, Nyx slinked down the staircase. She stretched by Karma's feet, drawing her wiry body along his ankles.

"Huh." Remus' voice was soft, "She agrees."

Masterlist

[mydarlingdearestdead]

Maria allowed Allie to pass the steaming cup into her hands, "You're a darling." She told him, "Really."

He beamed, taking great gulps from his mug. Maria took only hesitant sips from her own, blowing on the surface before every scalding sip.

When Allie mentioned hot chocolate, she assumed he referred to a store-bought powder. Her mistake was a pleasant surprise. The marshmallows were merely a prize upon a prize.

Remus surveyed the two, their mug untouched on the side-table.

"I don't like this." They announced, "This little relationship."

Maria rolled her eyes. She addressed Allie, "See what I deal with?"

"Excuse me?" Remus exclaimed. They looked to Karma for support, "Are you hearing this?"

Karma, slumped against a mountain of pillows by the bed's foot, responded, "God forbid your mother has friends."

"Karma!"

He grinned through his sleep-laden haze.

Masterlist

[mydarlingdearestdead]

Remus lay buried under a heap of thick, gauzy, white fabric and scowling. Their phone, inches from their face, displayed the under-saturated image of a modern Disney princess costume upon a woman who, in the kindest way possible, resembled the neck of an orchid.

"She looks like she starved herself to be second-rate Rapunzel." They scoffed, "What about a corset and skirt that barely reaches her calves makes her Disney? Last time I saw Tangled, her skirt reached her- Bare, mind you. Not a stiletto in sight- feet!"

In reply, Allie snatched their phone from their outstretched hand. Though Remus squawked like a disgruntled parrot and demanded it's return, he went on to comment, "She could at least pick up a frying pan... But hey, her choice, I guess."

They rolled their eyes, "Whatever, babe... I still need to figure out what to do with 10 meters of disused white fabric and 4 of the same in black."

Allie, keeping his grasp on their phone, replied, "It's Halloween. Make costumes."

"Like what? Biblically inaccurate angels? Swans? Virgins?" Their hopeless suggestions were punctuated by the lashing rains and howling winds conducted by Zeus to punish their ignorance. In search of humour or camaraderie, they voiced this thought.

Allie turned to them in a flash of ridiculous clarity, "Oh! Gods!"

Remus merely blinked, lost in his amusement.

"Greek gods! They wore white!" He grinned, "Always thought I looked a bit like Apollo... Y'know, in profile."

Remus was, perhaps understandably, sceptical. They snatched for their phone, inquiring as to render the action unexpected, "What about the black?"

Lunging backward, Allie replied, "Nice try! You could do Hades? Or Hecate. Nyx. Underworld-y stuff."

"Oh, underworld-y stuff. Makes sense now." Exhausted, they deflated, once more, upon the sprawling fabrics, "...You think you can get Karma on board?"

"I'm very persuasive."

"Then," Remus chuckled, "And I can't believe I'm saying this, we have a group costume."

Allie bounced on the balls of his feet, holding Remus' phone aloft. They held their hand out to receive it, though he denied them.

"I want to be Dionysus." They declared, "You ever hear of Apollonian vs Dionysian impulses?" Allie shook his head, "Good. They don't apply."

Masterlist

[mydarlingdearestdead]

Yep

[mydarlingdearestdead]

Allie deliberately placed his ankles in Karma's lap. He pretended not to take note of the responding glare as he said, "I just don't get it. Two weeks till school ends and I'm meant to chat about the circulatory system instead of my summer plans?"

Remus agreed with a snort. Although, ironically, they met Allie's eye only over the laminated cover of a biology textbook. They grinned, "If we were any less enthusiastic, we'd be catatonic. Yet, they still teach it."

"You have to admire the resilience." Karma added, idly skimming an dust-coated photo album, the cover of which read, in grandiose, golden letters The Graduating Class of 1984.

Allie gawked over his shoulder, "Anything interesting?" And, when Karma shook his head, "Check the J's."

Sceptic, Karma obeyed.

The pages were glossed and heavy, with sharp corners which drew blood on many an occasion, as they were known to. There was row upon row of students blessed with surnames beginning with J. Karma, in a fortunate change of events, did not have to look for, however, as he stumbled across his victim almost instantly, in just the second row.

"Kenneth James." He read hesitantly. For a moment, when his eyes fell firstly upon the grainy, monochromatic image, Karma's heart started oddly. You see, for the briefest instant, he had seen Allie in his father's young face.

"Yep." Allie attempted a voice of detachment, a neutral tone, "Dear old dad."

[mydarlingdearestdead]

Remus sipped idly over a mango-flavoured juice box, their expression glum. Allie tore ceaselessly at his cuticles, irritably chipping the blue-nail polish applied the night previous. Karma's hands danced across the keyboard, oblivious to the irritation of his companions. His inspired frenzy lasted until Allie's head lolled against the papered wall, sunlight threatening to sting his eyes where it bled through the crack in the curtains. Meanwhile, Remus had taken to dissecting an ancient analogue radio they had come across in a drawer. Their bare, folded knees were dusted with wires and screws, as well as larger pieces which they peered at with an intense curiosity.

Karma sucked a breath through his teeth in what he hoped to be a sheepish manner, and Remus' snapped to attention, though Allie remained sleeping soundly.

"How long?" Karma asked, his voice a whisper as to avoid Allie's wrath.

Remus tilted their head and, after a moment, Karma realised they were attempting to read the clockface upon Allie's limp wrist. Fortunately, it faced upward. They squinted at it and, eventually, replied, "Four hours or so. Get much done?"

In reply, Karma only hummed. He noted how Allie drew in on himself in sleep, as if attempting to protect himself from unknown horrors. Thoughtlessly, he laid his hand on Allie's shoulder in a gesture of intended comfort.

Allie jolted awake, recoiling in terror. He panted, blonde strands splayed across his face. But upon taking note of his surroundings he seemed to relax, despite their unfamiliarity.

"Next time," He recommended, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, "Just say my name, huh?"