#Although Karkat Seems To Enjoy It...

[pointless-discourse]

homestuck characters as related to trans stuff

head canon

JOHN EGBERT

closeted repping tgirl who will likely not realize she's trans until after 16

avoids mirrors, unhappy with appearance but tries to avoid looking at it

gets dressed in the dark

once she comes out she's gonna dress like the most hideous anime girl for the first few months

like goes HAM

her fav nerd shirts paired with a weird fucking skirt but eventually it looks really good just because of how much time she spends on it now that she likes how she looks

DAVE STRIDER

cool cis guy that will respect the pronouns

will treat people the same regardless of transness

goes down the transfem nonbinary any pronouns route in mid 20s

unfathomably chill

JADE HARLEY

divisive subject. either cool nerdy tgirl or closeted trans guy

tgirl jade puts a lot of effort into dressing for the sake of mirrors

doesn't necessarily look GOOD (ultranerd furry island social recluse) but she looks intresting

however tgirl jade doesn't voicetrain and not only is her voice kinda clocky but also very hoarse from lack of use

closeted transguy/transmasc nonbinary jade is very online and performative feminine stuff until he realizes in his late teens he's trans

does not learn what trans is until late teens, very in sheltered parts of the internet despite being very online

was out online years before he came out irl

third option: chill cis girl who, during

ROSE LALONDE

terf

no hate to rose she is one of my top three characters in all of homestuck but she is very terf vibes

she spends a lot of time "debating" with trans people online (harassment) and frequents a lot of terf forums

i think that after a few years of earth c and maybe meteorstuck she grows past it and eventually to her it's not a fight she's proud to be the lead general of but a phase she's really embarassed of, much like her other silly 13 year old traits

i also really like tgirl rose, not for character basis but i think its cool and i (obviously) love trans headcanons

KARKAT VANTAS

i am very divided between ftm and cis guy.

cis guy karkat is cool, he's very much just some guy who's comfortable in his "girly" hobbies and, while isn't really tied into his physical appearance, isn't dysphoric and is just a little insecure

however: humanstuck karkat will always be trans in my mind, just for the persecution bit, although i would also buy ethnically-middle-eastern adopted into a white american family karkat

he'd be a truscum or just kinda shitty to nonpassing trans people i think, we've seen how many alternian empire boots he licks so conforming to the status quo as a pick-me minority is not above him

again i think he would grow out of it in his later teen years/early 20s (like in the comic) but i don't ever see humanstuck karkat escaping the eternal shame that kind comes with being trans

ARADIA MEDIG0

ily weird unnerving tgirl aradia she is like so that to me. she reminds me of the boymoder NEET memes i see chronically online trans girls on reddit posting

but also i do equally enjoy weird girlboss cis girl aradia

either way she is far too etheral to be bothered with gender stuff

like you could come out to her with sixteen hard to pronounce xenos, pass so badly you unearth masculinity/feminity so prominent it burns to the touch, and she would not give a single fuck. and she would never mess up with pronouns and shit

tAVROS nITRAM

i see her as a hardcore deep deep in the closet repper tgirl as like a core part of my interpretations and yet i can never imagine her coming out

like i just see her boymoding forever

not really? like i think it would happen eventually i just can't visualize it

hypothetically i could see her being one of those cool goth girls named lilith but it seems very removed from the original starting point

2OLLUX CAPTOR

repping tgirl or amab nonbinary or just plain cis

either way still horrifically greasy and that will never change

there is no self reflection that will even vaguely incentivize sollux to maintain his hygeine

:33< NEPETA LEJION

cis girl

maybe comes out as ftm in 20s? if trans, i could also see nepeta repping till death

like just a weird cis girl who is like "oh, you're trans? just like in my warrior cats rp discord server!"

again, gives more of a fuck about gender than aradia but it is close

she just cares if you will listen to her talk about her ships and art

nepeta is the type of person where it might take her a while get the new name and stuff right

"HER PRONOUNS ARE THEY/THEM!"

but she would be your staunch defender

KANAYA MARYAM

eh? nothing strong here, i don't really have a hc for her

but there is a lot of mtf symbolism in the comic and i do enjoy that

like a socially awkward youngshit who's not out to many people because she can't really bring herself to correct people in public but still has a really passing voice even after first coming out

bad facial dysphoria

do like her as intersex. feels right

TEREZI PYROPE

nonbinary

no genders, all the genders, new genders, old primal genders, everything

both simultaneously afab and amab but not intersex?

the living embodiment of androgyny

probably has a very long list of neos/xenos but is any pronouns

you cannot misgender her. hes too cool.

VRISKAAAAAAAA SERK8!!!!!!!!

transgirl transgirl transgril

literally not even a headcanon at this point vriska is a trans girl and that is that!!!!!!!!

if you disagree im kickng your ass so hard it comes out of your mouth. your days are numbered and that number is 0. (not 8 :( )

EQUIUS

option one: cis gymbro chaser.

he sleeps with trans men to steal their t shots

in the streets he'll occasionally say the weird shit but i know he'd be crankin his hog to futa/cuntboy shit by night

option two: trans girl

never comes out because of insecurity but indulges in long hair and the occasional skirt in private and then feels really bad about it

option three: insane roided trans man

t gave him big muscles and big sex drive

option three poiont 5.

racist sexist homophobic nonbinary

like drops the most despicable shit in conversation and finsihes it off with "my pronouns are actually they/them), like one of those nazi femboys

GAMZEE MAKARA

does not gaf

cis (? idk) guy who is fine with any pronouns and crossdresses for fun

i guess not technically cis? but still identifies as a man when it comes down to it. like barely guy

FEFERI PEIXIES

cis girl who is a little infantilizing

if you're transfem she will give you makeup tips

but still a little hugboxy

"oh no you totally pass even though you're 8'100 and have a full beard! women come in all shapes and sizes!" (not shitting on the made up trans girl here, passing is fucking hard and it has no bearing on personal worth)

JANE CROCKER

jane is a repping/closeted trans man and you can pry this from my cold dead hands

the mustache? the projection onto only male figures?

also i think its fun with jane's ties to the girls-only fuchsiablood club that he ends up a dude

also st4t janeroxy my beloved

DIRK STRIDER

gonna be honest here no strong leanings

i am a firm believer that estrogen would save her but i dont really think of dirk as anywhere on the gender spectrum

maybe just cis dirk? i could buy cis dirk

JAKE ENGLISH

one one hand i would like the transmasc rep being not restricted to hairless twinks and i would enjoy ftm jake that way

transmasc nonbinary jake is an insane concept to me but i do find myself intrested

a little iffy on the trans headcanons (especially transmasc) because a big part of the concept of jake english is that he's a big strong man who takes on the literary role of an objectified girl character and having him be

ROXY LALONDE

ex twinkhon femboy now BDD gigapassoid

literally one of the most gorgeous trans women you will ever meet

creating e substitutes in her laboratory since age 12

again not even those most immersed in trans culture and the ways of clocking would be able to tell thats how good she is

her speaking patterns hail solely from those cutesy minecraft/unboxing youtubers she religiously watched as a small child

however she is fully convinced that she doesn't pass for shit so she believes that every genuine complement and people treating her like a woman is just them being nice

she'll attempt to boymode and go "stealth" in scenarios where she doesn't want to be visibly trans but it fucking backfires because everyone assumes she's ftm

DIRK STRIDER

trans man with literally no basis because my dirk-themed friend is also a trans man

4channer transman robotics nerd dirk my beloved

DAMARA MEGIDO

transfem ig? or cis woman

very girl adjacent

idk i dont think about the dancestors much

RUFIOH NITRAM

cis man

MAYBE trans man

i am also cool with that

MITUNA CAPTOR

cis man

MAYBE transfem nonbinary

KANKRI VANTAS

trans man because very few cis men were tumblr "SJW"s

and he reminds me of of some chronically online trans guys i used to hang around

also hes very fuckign petite and girls and feminend and twinky dinky and im just projecting my dysphoria onto him sorrie kankri fans

MEULIN LEJION

cis fujo girl

when she discovered trans men she was like 'YAAAAAS MPREG'

will respect your pronouns and shit but is VERY HORNY

lowkey chaser that will also date cis people

PORRIM MARYAM

two choices: cool goth transbian or lesbian terf

cool goth transbian is the nice one. first off, she looks a lot like some transfem transition goals ive seen online.

second, cool feminist could also be trans rights and trans people are kinda forced into being political

third, being flat as a board could also be interpreted as her just not having tits (tho she does seem like the type to DIY HRT)

TERF porrim (correct): first, a lot of "feminists" turn out to be bitchy to trans people

second, her activism for groups she's a part of and groups she likes is good, but she really infantilizes kankri, and considering that's the beforan equivalent of hemoracism, if trans people didn't fit her motto she would not hesitate to shit on them

LATULA PYROPE

cis girl. maybe she/they

ARANEA SERKET:

trans girl serkets trans girl serkets

would also buy cis girl that makes you wonder if she's actually a repressed ftm because some of her actions are a littttttttle suspicious

HORRUS ZAHHAK

cis man who ends up hanging out with a lot of trans women anyway due to shared intrests in hyperpop and furry stuff

again very respectful, very small chance that he's chaser-y

KURLOZ MAKARA

i honestly do not know and this isnt because i dont really care about his character, it just evades me

transcends gender

could be cis woman, fuck if i know. i'd buy that

all and neither a gender above our human comprehension

CRONUS AMPORA

trans man that proves tboys are real men because they can be just as creepy and awful as cis men

thinks him being trans means he's immune to all types of discrimination

uses it a pity point/to get out of stuff

MEENAH PEIXIES

maybe tgirl? idk

may just be cis

possibly transmasc nonbinary

tho i lean mostly towards cis woman whos gnc and actually cool with trans peopel (be aware she will still groom them tho)

equal opportunity grooming

CALLIOPE

technically transfem anyway because her body isn't sexed so shes kinda intersex

but even if she wasnt a cherub she would still be transfem anyway

chronically online transgirl who spends most of her time in internet spaces with cis girls of her same age

warrior cats fan

humanstuck calliope hung around the warrior cats girls since elementary and never left

CALIBORN

evil trans man

transmasc for same reasons as calliope

humanstuck caliborn avoided all female socialization because he didn't socialize and instead spent his formative years on 4chan

the nature of the /lgbt/ board probably gave him some shame about being ftm

DAD EGBERT and crocker as well, very similar people

cis man who is a staunch ally

MOM LALONDE

cis ally

she's trying? can't say anything more

will occasionally and unintentionally say some out of pocket shit about trans people she knows when drunk

will mess up the pronouns a lot because very scatterbrained

GRANPA HARLEY:

cis man who lowkey fetishizes trans people

straight but fucks non-passing transmen because he doesn't see them as men

trans women are some exotic fetish

if jade came out he would repair his ways tho

NANNA EGBERT

transphobic

not even a terf because she has beef with feminists

but again if john or jane came out she would badger them at first but her love would win out and she would change her views

BRO STRIDER

personally i see him as a cis man but i think trans man bro strider is cool and also an icon

DIRK'S BRO:

cis bisexual man who is cool with trans people

ROXY'S MOM:

cis woman who is in a fucked up evil messy situationship with a transgirl

will trans rights

GRANDMA ENGLISH:

either a. elder trans woman

or b. cis woman (a little nonbinary) who is accepting

does not know the terminology

"oh so you want to live as a woman now? alright, i suppose. i had a friend like that back in college"

HIC:

evil elder trans woman who has an illegal diy hrt empire

will sell out the trans community if it benefits her

grifter

LIL CAL

i dont know it s scary

[yanderes-galore]

I thought about giving John a chance aside from the TONS of Eridan ideas, sooo.. Ye

fandom- homestuck

character - John egbert (romantic)

description- just some general John egbert headcanons with a troll darling, that is kinda weirded out with having a human in a quadrant

-Eridan anon (thanku in advance :p)

Sure! I don't mind giving John some attention :D

Yandere! John Egbert with Troll! Darling

Pairing: Romantic/Matesprit ❤️

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Delusional behavior, Manipulation, Slight coercion, Clingy behavior, Jealousy, Isolation,Forced relationship.

John is such a goofball in the series.

I'd also think he'd have the most quadrant knowledge of all the humans in Homestuck.

Mostly because Karkat tends to lecture him about it.

I could also see John trying things out with a Troll! Darling.

He knows about the quadrants of your race/species.

Yet he feels the safest option would be the Matesprit category because it's the closest to human romantic attraction.

However, most trolls find the concept of humans in a quadrant weird.

Some are fine with it, but it's just so new to you.

Even if you like John as a human you're still unsure of having him in a quadrant.

John's obsession would be quick to develop but takes time to show.

As in... John most likely knows how to hide his feelings as to not scare you off.

At first, John would just treat you as a friend.

He's friendly in your online chats and just loves to talk about his interests with you.

Sometimes you even find yourself laughing at his bad jokes.

He's a comforting and friendly human to be around.

He even attempt to listen to you speak about your interests.

Although you both experience some serious culture shock.

When he finally meets you in person on The Meteor, that's most likely when romantic feelings start.

He's accepting of you no matter the blood color and just loves to be around you.

For the longest time he's patient and tries to guess how you feel about him.

He doesn't want to ruin anything.

John is rather patient and for the most part he's grounded.

However he's also stubborn and can have his delusional moments.

John would take his time to try and let feelings develop.

He'll wait awhile before mentioning it to you.

He's no doubt asked Karkat for relationship advice.

The poor troll is always called for that.

Karkat doesn't understand why John won't get with a human.

Why you, a troll?

Karkat most likely stops questioning it and just tries to educate John as a friend.

Which leads into John asking if you have any... quadrants available.

The question perplexes you, yet John reiterates he hopes to be in a relationship with you.

If you refuse due to discomfort, no worries!

He understands.

John isn't going to just give up, though.

He's convinced you just need some more time.

That's okay... he'll wait as long as he feels you need.

He doesn't want to force anything just yet.

John will still try to be a good friend, even if you now express some discomfort about his feelings.

He just sticks around so close to you.

He does whatever you ask and still gives you those bad jokes you enjoy.

The issue with John is he's stubborn as said before.

At some point he'll ask you again...

And again...

All until you eventually cave and decide to allow him into your flushed quadrant.

He just loves you!

He loves you too much to just let you get with anyone.

He understands your culture requires at least two other romance options.

While he'll allow you to have those, he has to make sure you'll stay with him first.

Pardon him if he seems a little off.

He adores you and is extremely optimistic that you'll reciprocate in the future.

Until then... he has to limit your socializing for now.

He apologizes that things seem forced...

But he's so willing to try new things with you...

Surely you'll forgive him once you see what he can do for you, yeah?

"Would you... ever consider loving a human?"

[syrenart]

I have thoughts about sollux and potential moirails.

Don't get me wrong, I love LOVE Sollux and Aradia as matesprits but I think (living) aradia is just such a bro. She and sollux would go spelunking, on very Indiana Jones esque adventures except they'd just end up wrecking the place for fun and playing cards in the rubble, then having a little feelings jam, napping, and going home to play minecraft. Genuinely such an amazing friend that is completely capable of helping him r e l a x. Platonic cuddles always too of course. Aradia definitely gets him out more (much to his dismay) but he also doesn't mind, because he wants to do things with her!!!

Although less likely, sollux and kanaya (because of the shit that came up in pesterquest) would be a very funny moirail pair. Both of them are so sarcastic and blunt and yet i think they'd make each other laugh with oddly dry yet clever humor. Sollux probably wouldn't be a model for her sewing projects but I DO THINK HED BE VERY HONEST. "thii2 look2 liike 2hiit." Or "thii2 doe2nt make me want two vomiit 2o youre doiing 2omethiing riight ii gue22." To shenaniganry like "that ii2 2o not your color. (Is colorblind)" I think they would visit each other often, look at old pictures and talk for h o u r s about literally anything because they don't give af, they just genuinely enjoy each other's company. Kanaya may call about having issues with her computer just to get him over there to hang out. He knows.bsje knows he knows. He just doesn't mind making the trip to see her and go back and forth about how the computer definitely doesn't seem broken until inevitably they play card games over tea.

I think sollux and karkat work excellently either red or pale, but for the sake of this post, I'll talk about them pale-wise. It is established in the comic that even though karkat is a grump ass, he still cares about his friends so so much and even goes as far as asking if specifically he and sollux are still friends after a little spat. Which is ADORABLE but also like imagine that but "ARE WE STILL MOIRAILS?" and sollux, pinching the bridge of his nose, "ye2, kk, we are 2tiill moiiraiil2." I always think of karkat as a snuggle bug, so you know they'd be platonically snuggling whilst also having the BEST feelings jam, which I personally think sollux needs always. He is always in a bad mood and always needs to talk about something and there is no one better than the guy who sat backwards in a chair to LISTEN TO TEREZI!!!! HE GAVE HER HIS FULL ATTENTION AND JUSTIFIED HER FEELINGS ALL THE WAY AND HE WOULD DO THE SAME FOR HIM!!! Plus, they would do everything sollux enjoys because they have so much in common, they couldn't even leave the hive because of karkat's blood color. Theyd eat snacks, play video games, watch movies (karkat would even agree to a non rom-com for him, begrudgingly, but I think he would). And would end up spending d a y s with each other and not get tired of each other's company. Even in the dream bubbles where karkat would be able to walk around and go places, I think they'd choose one place and stay there aside from MAYBE raiding a convenience store for snacks.

I know karkat's is the longest, that doesn't mean anything, I'm just spewing thoughts as they happen.

[homestuck-iconz]

John, Jade, I asked the dersites this question. Now it's your turn.

Thoughts on my favorite ships

Arasol (flushed)

Mitula (flushed)

Meowrails (pale, obviously)

Erifef (pitch)

Karezi (flushed)

Johnrezi (pitch)

Mod John here! Friendly reminder that if I seem rude about a ship, that's not the goal! I respect everyones ships (unless they are gross or illegal, duh) and I think most ships could be pretty cute!!

(ALSO I THOUGHT I POSTED THIS MY BAD)

Arasol <3 - 5/10

I used to be a strong Arasol shipper actually! I always thought they were super cute and I liked the thought of her dragging his ass out of his hive for ADVENTURE! Although I think Aradia is too... free. Shes a wildcard, a free fairy, she doesn't wait on anyone. I just think she needs someone who can better tie her down, or be able to keep up with her rather then be dragged along. How I enjoy this ship is very situational, I think it would work better flush then pale because of the nature of the two quads, but I mostly see them as close friends, or ex-lovers who just become really good friends

Mitula <3 - 9/10

These two are GOOFY AS HELL BRO!!! In my top ratings charts for sure! What more is there to say? Imagining she can let her guard down with him more easily then some others, they both get GOOFY with it! She handles any outbursts or breakdowns of his pretty well, and they are both just SUPER comfortable and protective of each other! (Latula more so then him, she did threaten Damara in Open Bound over Mituna afterall). 100% that couple who would tell the other they have a crush on someone else, and the other would be in full support like "YEAH!! GET IT BABE!!!" and are probably publicly affectionate because they are Too Cool to care. Overall love these two <3

Meowrails <> - 10/10

THE SILLIES EVER!! SOOOO SILLY GOOFY!!! A top ship 100%, I could dedicate entire posts on why they are SO good and yummy. I know I have in fact wrote entire paragraphs on them already after all (Mod Jade has gotten a taste of these rambles before.) To keep it simple though, they are the two autistic moirails who compliment each other and actually *see* each other for more then "Weird Sweaty Horse Boy" and "Weird Roleplaying Shipper Cat Girl". They help support each other, care about each other, and help the other grow in their own ways too. We were DEPRIVED of more amazing content of these two being pale.

Erifef <3< - 2/10

I think I can understand where this one comes from, but personally it isn't my cup of tea! Eridan might be grouchy sometimes and yeah he can get on Feferi's nerves, but I never really saw it more then Feferi sorta being like that? As well as I can't really see Eridan having too huge of pitch feelings for Feferi, that's like one of his childhood besties! Ex-moirails sure, but they used to be SUCH goofy friends! Just a low rating because I can't see it happening in really... any quadrant, but even LESS so in the pitch one. I think even if they ended up *disliking* each other, it would be hard for that to turn pitch, based on how Fef was already disinterested in being in a relationship with him. Also, I just don't think Eridan could really... be pitch for her. Again, silly goofy friends.

Karezi <3 - 5/10

I remember while reading Homestuck, I sorta liked this ship, but it never really piqued my interest very much. I think it could be silly and cute, mostly based off of their goofy interactions that they have had in canon. Karkat had a HUGE crush on her after all, and she liked him too. It was super fun in the comic, and I don't really hate it, but I don't really care for it either? It sorta lands middle ground for me. Personally I prefer them as just good ol friends! (With maybe some past romantic issues, like ex's or smthing along those lines)

Johnrezi <3< - 8/10

I LOVE Johnrezi, it was one of my big time ships for a while! These two pitch idiots WILL prank you and you will be pointed and laughed at. Although I could see Terezi taking it a bit too far and that frustrating John, which just adds to that pitch flavor. Brain isn't braining, but I think they bring out more of the chaos in each other and it is VERY fun to see.

[zimpz]

Meager appetite

Kanaya ♦️ Karkat

Kanaya retrieved two plates and two forks from your cupboards. She had grown so accustomed to your hive that she knew precisely where to find the dishes and the cutlery. You sat at the table while she dressed it. Her finally sitting down with you was your signal to begin cutting away at the grubcake she had brought. In no time you're devouring this delicious cake, that is, until you notice her plate is still empty.

"Wait, you're not having any? Come on, cut a piece for yourself."

"No, I am delighted to offer this sweet grubcake in its entirety to you. It was a joy to make knowing you would be on the receiving end."

"What? Is it a gift or something? I appreciate the gesture, and I do enjoy your cooking, but it's really not necessary to refrain from enjoying your hard work. I mean it, I can't finish this all by myself."

"You do not need to consume it all in one sitting. Do not be ridiculous, you would get yourself ill. Preserve some for another occasion."

You set your fork down, adopting a grave expression. "There's something you're not telling me. Why haven't you taken a single bite out of this grubcake? Is there something wrong with it?" The mere thought of having possibly consumed poisoned food brings your stomach to your throat.

"No, no! Karkat. Do you think I am deranged? Why would I do such a dreadful thing to you, of all people? I could never imagine. I care so deeply about you, you know that." You frowned. Although you wanted to believe she was sincere, there was something oddly suspicious about the way she was dodging your question. She sighed, painfully aware that you would not budge until this was clarified. "I really do adore baking. Alas, I do not get as many opportunities to put my skills to good use, ever since… you know…"

You raise your shoulders and quickly look around. "Yes, of course, I fucking know already! I'm an all-seeing entity looking over the universe and I know what you were doing with that grubcake. Do you see how stupid this shit sounds? No, I don't know. Until you loosen up and tell me what the hell is going on, I am going to continue assuming the worst. That some wicked hag decided to trick me into ingesting what seems like an inconspicuous grubcake but it actually contains a special ingredient that will give me some incurable disease. Is that what you want?"

Kanaya's eyes linger over you throughout your ranting, her stare feels unusually indifferent. When she manages to get a word in, she explains sheepishly: "I cannot eat solid food anymore-"

"Some asshole knocked all of your teeth? A piano dropped from the 6th floor and landed on your pan? Hilarious. I'm bent in half in laughter. As far as I can see you still have all your teeth since you're not drooling all over the table and you can still enunciate just fine. Now use your gogdamn ignorance gash and-" You pause. Amidst your irritation, you realize one small detail had slipped past your mind… "Oh."

It all made sense, now. Kanaya seems relieved to see you regain your composure.

"You mean rainbow drinkers can't eat food?"

"We are not quite incapable, but it is not preferable. Various aches and ailments customarily ensue."

"Oh." You look at the unfinished piece of grubcake on your plate. You really were quick to accuse her for something that was not her fault at all, weren't you? In what world would Kanaya be able to do this to her moirail, let alone to anyone. If she had a grievance with anyone, she would not have resorted to such cheap tricks. Telling them off, of course; beating some sense into them when necessary, sure. Poisoning? It would've been an uncharacteristically sneaky and dramatic way to settle her differences with you.

One gets startled easily when you have been stabbed in the back so many times before, you guess. But now that she had revealed it wasn't her intention at all, you just feel like a fool. A relieved fool, at least.

"It saddens me that I barely even get to taste my creations anymore. I used to enjoy sharing meals but it has become an exigent chore to mask my minuscule appetite. I really cannot consume much or else I will feel ill. But what use is putting so much care in cooking a thousand meals if they are all going to waste? Instead, I would rather offer them, and as an additional benefit they might bring a smile to someone's face…"

A sensation of warmth spreads through your chest. So it really was a gift. You feel even more like a dick: here she was simply being nice to you and this is the thanks you give her. "My bad, Kanaya. I didn't think-"

She interrupts you: "Do not worry. You were not thinking this through. I am not resentful."

You pick your fork back up and poke once at the grubcake on your plate. You observe it for a second before cutting off a bite-sized piece and lifting your gaze back up to Kanaya.

"Are you sure you're not hungry?" You joke to lighten the mood.

"You must mean thirsty."

"Yeah, sure." You answer with your mouth full.

"Hmm." She scratches the back of her head. "I would rather not frighten you with the truth."

Your arm suddenly freezes in place, interrupting its trajectory towards your mouth. Your eyes are locked on her, carefully watching her every movement. "No… I'm not scared. Do you think I'm a wiggler?"

"I must admit I am not fully sated right now. This is no reason to be alarmed, after all, you know I am more than capable of self-control. When dawn comes, I will able to find the nutrients I require."

"Doesn't Rose help to keep you fed?"

"I would rather not impose this taxing responsibility on her. I am not entitled to her energy to sustain myself. Besides, human blood is regrettably not as filling. It's critical that our exchange remains on a voluntary basis, therefore I hunt the other times. Like tonight, I will eventually need to go hunting."

"What about our movie day? I've made a whole list of human romance movies we needed to see together. You can't leave me hanging."

"Well, we will not watch them all day, will we? I can depart after."

"Whaaaat!! Then we won't have time to see everything, it's impossible. I thought when you said you would be spending the day with me, you meant you would stay here the whole day so we could catch up…"

"My apologies, Karkat. I should have had my feed yesterday, then I would have been more than pleased to spend the entire day with you… Alas, I must leave before dusk. Unless…"

"Unless what?" You arch an eyebrow in confusion. Her eyes pierce through you intently, as if you were made out of glass. Suddenly, your stomach turns into a knot as you realize her implication and you jump from your chair. "No, NO, NO. Don't look at me like that. Absolutely the fuck not. You can find another feeding machine elsewhere."

"Machine? Karkat, I already informed you that an agreement of this kind would never become contractual. Further, it would just be this once."

Your skin turns pallid, your heart racing, your breaths shortening. The mere thought of your blood being drawn is enough to make you feel faint. "Why???? Why would you ask me of all people? You know I hate that shit, I can't stand it. Ask the first troll you cross on the street for all I care."

"It's truly not as terrible as you envision it. You need not look at it."

"N-O, no."

"Very well then, it was merely a suggestion: I can also leave earlier if you prefer."

"You know what, we can even postpone this to another day when you're well-fed! Then we'll have plenty of time to get through my marathon."

"So you will send me home expeditiously after I travelled all the way here?"

On second thought, you really did not want to throw her out like an old dishrag. Not only would it be impolite considering the travel time, you'd lose on precious time spent with your moirail. There were plenty of movies you were so excited to show her. A compromise needs to be made: "Fine. We'll just begin tackling the list and you can leave when you need to. We can continue another time, I guess."

Kanaya seemed satisfied by this answer, as she was also eager to spend most of her day with you. After you cleaned your plate and placed the rest of the grubcake in your fridge, the two of you moved to the living area. After you inserted the first CD into the reader, you both crashed on your couch.

Throughout the next few hours, you got to fill her in on some of humans' classic romance movies. Her experience was even better than that the one she could've had at any movie theater, since she had you to guide her through the lore and to point out any detail that might've escaped her. But soon enough came the fated time of her departure: "As much as it pains me to say, this was my last one, Karkat. I really must leave now." She straightens her back, ready to get up from the couch.

"What? But you're going to miss the scene where Jack and Ennis reunite!!"

She sighs. "Very well, my other offer still stands, whichever you prefer."

"It doesn't seem enticing to me in the slghtest."

"I would be very gentle, Karkat. We can go as slowly as you need. You can trust me on that." She assures you, looking at you intently.

You take a deep breath. You really feel like she would miss out on one of the best moments in movie history if she left now. As much as you did not want to get your blood drawn, if it was the only thing that could get her to stay and complete the marathon with you… Besides, if there's anyone you can trust to reassure you throughout this terrifying process, it's her. She's always looking out for your safety and she's never let you down so far.

After a moment of reflexion, you concede: "Fine, just make it quick. So how do we do this?"

"Oh I am so glad." Exalted by what she just heard, she bounces off from the couch. "Wait for me just one minute, I will return shortly."

She doesn't leave much time for you to dwell on your worries, soon enough she comes back with a damp rag and adhesive bandages. She places them on the coffee table and sits down next to you.

"What if… mutated blood is dangerous to drink?" You ask. "What if it's poisonous for rainbow drinkers or something…?"

"I cannot be certain until I try it, wouldn't you agree? There is a first time for everything. And I am willing to attempt the experiment. What if I am missing out on something grand?"

"I don't want to make you sick."

"You will not make me ill, Karkat. I will interrupt my drinking if I notice something goes awry."

You're not so convinced by her reasoning, frankly you'd rather your moirail does not put her life in jeopardy for any type of experiment. But if she really does want to go through with this, who are you to stop her?

"Alright. What next?" You ask impatiently.

There was an awkward silence before she leaned towards you and dropped off the faintest kiss on your temple. You suddenly feel warmth rushing to your cheeks and ears, and you bring your hand up as an attempt to cover your embarrassment. She smirked smugly as she noticed your flushed expression.

"You seem to have excellent circulation." You're too disconcerted to come up with a smartass response to her jab. She uses this opportunity to gently kiss your neck, which sends shivers down your spine. "I have been longing to try candy red." If she wanted red, she got it: your face is as red as a tomato.

"Ah, do you really need to go for my neck?"

"You wished for me to be quick. This is the fastest way. I could always take your arm but it would require twice as much time. Besides, you will see less blood if the puncture wounds are on your neck."

You grimace at the thought of an extension for your predicament. Neck will have to do. "Okay, fine."

Her teeth graze against your skin and it makes you shiver. You brace yourself, your breaths shallow and your eyes shut.

"Shh, relax… Do not worry, you will be fine. I will let you know when I start." She rubs your back. You're trying really hard to calm down, but your hands are shaking and you already feel nauseous. Moments pass before she leans back: "On second thought, you should lie down on the couch."

"What…?" You reply in confusion, opening your eyes. Truth be told, you were so lost in thought that you completely missed what she just said.

She stands up. "Lie down on the couch. It will be more comfortable for you. And in case you feel ill, you will already have adopted the correct position to recover."

You lie down, putting yourself at ease. You take a deep, shaky breath. You don't notice Kanaya rolling up the bottom of her skirt up to her knees until she has already climbed on top of you and is straddling you. Your embarrassment reaches new heights.

"Kanaya…? Are you sure about this? This feels oddly… intimate."

"I must find a comfortable position as well, to make it easier on both of us. I am seeking time efficiency. Are you ready?"

"Hm-hmm." You confirm.

She holds one of your hands, hers feel cold albeit comfortingly soft.

"Are you certain? I would appreciate a complete answer."

"Yes, I'm ready."

"Do not hesitate to let me know if you need me to stop." She hovers above you, closing once again the gap between her mouth and your neck. "I must warn you, it will pinch a little."

You move your head slightly to the side to give her more space. She presses her lips against your skin once more. Your heart is pounding like it's going to bounce out of your chest.

"3, 2, 1…"

A sharp sting sinks deep into your neck. You shut your eyes and grind your teeth, trying to drown it out. With each heartbeat you feel your blood coursing throughout your body. It's one of the strangest sensations you've ever felt.

Kanaya lets go of your hand, instead cupping your face so it stays in the right place. Her thumb gently rubs against your cheek, as if to comfort you.

The pain begins to subside after a minute. You start to ease into it, as your body comes to understand you are in good hands. Your jaw loosens and your breaths grow deeper. You dread opening your eyes however, fearing they would get a glimpse of a bloodbath. You think you'll keep them closed until she is done.

Soon enough you feel the intrusion in your neck fade out, as she pulls out her fangs with a relieved sigh. Suddenly, you feel something moist being pressed and gently rubbed against your neck: she is cleaning your wounds with the rag she had so thoughtfully brought earlier.

"It is over now. Are you alright, dear?"

"Yeah…" You take it as a signal to open your eyes.

"It was not so terrible, would you not agree?" She now presses the rag onto her chin, wiping away the candy red blood that had dribbled on it. You can't look away.

"I guess it could have been worse."

She takes two adhesive bandages and carefully sticks them over your puncture wounds. "Know that your help is greatly appreciated: I feel much more energetic now." Good for her. You, on the other hand, are quite frazzled. At least you'll have plenty of time to recuperate on the couch while you two resume watching your movie marathon.

She leans down to press a kiss on your forehead, causing your cheeks to become lightly flushed. She gets a good look at your face as she sits back up. "I see I have not stripped you from all your colour." She chuckles.

You frown, partly annoyed partly amused by her antics. "You're having way too much fun with this."

"That I am. You look so adorable when you are flustered." She hops off the couch. "Wait a moment, let me take care of this."

She leaves with the rag in order to rinse it out in the sink. You manage to sit up slowly on the couch in the meantime. You feel slightly nauseous. You hold a hand to your forehead as you attempt to recollect everything that just happened. It all went by so fast. Well, you did ask for it to be fast, didn't you?

You notice Kanaya coming back from the ablution block and she sits beside you, placing a cold hand on your back. "It was delectable, Karkat, perhaps even better than my current favourites, teal and indigo. I was lucky to have your permission to try out this rare commodity."

"Rare is the right word. Don't let it become a habit because you might not get permission so often."

"Of course, and I respect that. Although I must point out… You do seem to imply this might not be the last time, is that correct?"

"Ehh…" You scratch your head. As nerve-wracking as it was to get your blood drawn, you did enjoy Kanaya's gentle, close-up attentions. She made you feel safe. But you're definitely not ready to admit this out loud just yet. "I mean, I'm not saying no, so take it however you will. Just tell me beforehand, okay? I don't want to plan anything important right after."

She's grinning from ear to ear. "I will ensure that I let you know. Remember that it is always your choice in the end. You can back out if ever you are not willing anymore. I can handle myself just fine."

She gets up, motioning to the CD reader. "At any rate, where were we? Which movie should I insert next? Would you like something to drink? I can fill up your glass if you would like. Are you cold? Do you need a blanket?"

You look at her adoringly, a coy smile on your lips. Oh, how lucky you are to have such an attentive moirail.

[timecapsuleparadoxes]

     ᴋᴀɴᴀʏᴀ: How Anyone Can Watch And Enjoy These Bland, Almost Tragic To The Point I Want To Cry For The Participants, Pseudo-Romance And Bordering Competition Shows Is Beyond Me. Am I Missing Something Here?

[cupid-tune]

what really like wholesome/silly headcanons do you have for kankri?

There's definitely more in the deep confines of my head that I just can't think of right now, but here are some!

Can't guarantee all of these are wholesome

• Although not a fan of romcoms like Karkat, Kankri secretly enjoys romance novels. He can be a sucker for a good love story if it’s imaginary.

• Fiddles with his sweater a lot, either using it to cover his face or grip the sleeves and mess with loose threads. The sweater has definitely been through some repairs in the past.

• Confides in Porrim the most out of the group, though this is only when he deems it absolutely necessary. Any other time, Kankri opts to deal with his issues alone.

• Hardly sleeps in the bubbles, doesn’t see the meaning in it. Though, he does look tired as hell all the time, it might just be what he looked like before dying.

• Has a very looming aura. He definitely looks the most ghostly out of the Dancestors, aside from maybe Kurloz.

• Kankri can talk for hours uninterrupted, but the moment you start to interject, he will lose his place and stumble over his words. He likes to be in full control of the conversation.

• His feelings on quadrants are way too complicated, and will simply stick with celibacy to ignore it and focus on other things. I typically headcanon him as Asexual or Demisexual.

• He sees his younger self in Karkat, and strives to look after him and keep him safe whenever possible. It’s a bit hypocritical, given that Kankri hates the coddling nature of others. He sees himself more as a mentor than anything; a guide.

• His love language is through words and verbal affection. As seen with Latula, Kankri is especially attentive to people he likes, often keeping note of things no one else does in an attempt to get closer to them. He rarely acts, however.

• His strife weapon is gunkind.

• He dislikes touch of any kind, or at the very least will get uncomfortable or startled at sudden movements with no warning. Physical affection is difficult for him, which is one of the more secret reasons Kankri doesn’t involve himself in quadrants. He believes that physical affection is necessary for a relationship to work, which is just entirely wrong.

• Uses phrases like ‘goodness’ or ‘heavens’ or any substitute in place of swears. He has no problem with swearing, Kankri just doesn’t see the purpose in it most times unless provoked. There are always better words to use.

• Despite his appearance of seeming ignorant on topics, Kankri knows what he’s doing most times, and deliberately says things that he knows will get his conversation partner’s attention. He’s been around his friends long enough to know what makes them tick, and will utilize that if necessary.

[thewertsearch]

CG: OK, MOST PEOPLE WHO HAVEN'T HAD THEIR LOBE STEM CAUTERIZED ARE CAPABLE OF FEELING THE TWO PRIMARY EMOTIONS, HATE AND PITY. CG: PITY IS OF COURSE JUST THE TONED DOWN VERSION OF THE CENTRAL EMOTION, HATE. CG: AND ALL THE NUANCES OF PITY MANIFEST AS VARIOUS OTHER KINDS OF FEELINGS LIKE WHATEVER CHEMICAL REACTIONS TRIGGER MATING FONDESS OR THE MYSTERIOUS FORCES THAT ARE BEHIND MOIRALLEGIANCE.

Quite a depressing worldview, but I see how a troll would end up adopting it.

Trolls don’t seem to place much value on positive emotion, so it makes a lot of sense that they’d come to see it as simply a corruption of negative emotion. Karkat, for example, would absolutely believe that pity is the closest thing to affection that anyone could feel for him - maybe the closest thing to affection that exists. 

Also: behind what, exactly? ‘Moirallegiance’ doesn’t have a meaning as clearly implied as kismesis, so I’m stumped. 

CG: SEE, MY HATE IS LIKE A FINELY TUNED INSTRUMENT BECAUSE I'M AWARE OF THESE PRINCIPLES. [...] CG: BUT SEE, YOU'RE TOO HEAVY ON THE HATE SIDE, OR AT LEAST YOU PRETEND TO BE WHICH IS MAYBE WORSE.

I actually think Vriska’s hate is more genuine than Karkat’s. 

Sure, he ‘hates’ Gamzee, but would he really push him off a cliff, or stab his eyes out? Vriska may have been coerced, but she certainly seems to enjoy harming the people she harms. The worst we’ve seen Karkat do is insult people in Trollian. 

CG: YOUR HATE'S TOO DULL FOR A PROPER KISMESIS, IN MY OPINION. CG: AND I DON'T SEE ANYONE CHOMPING AT THE BIT TO BE YOUR MOIRAIL HONESTLY, UNLESS THERE'S SOMEONE OUT THERE WHO WOULD ACTUALLY BOTHER PITYING YOU. CG: AND LANDING A MATESPRIT? HAHAHAHA! CG: SERIOUSLY, LIKE THAT WOULD EVEN INTEREST YOU.

Wow, this is going to be an entire thing, isn’t it?

Well, if a kismesis is someone who you both love and hate, then maybe a moirail is someone you only love - a concept which Karkat can only interpret as pity. 

As for a matesprit - well, mate implies that it has something to do with reproduction, rather than romance. If so, it’s likely something that trolls don’t concern themselves with until adulthood - and what Karkat is basically saying is ‘romance aside, you don’t seem the type to have kids some day, either’.

Although, trolls reproduce with the Mother Grub, don’t they? If the process also involves pairs of trolls, things must be more complicated than I thought. I guess that ‘genetic material’ has to come from somewhere. 

CG: BASICALLY ANY FEATURE OF YOUR EMOTIONAL PROFILE THAT USUALLY MAKES SOMEONE VIABLE IN THE REDROM DEPARTMENT MUST BE TOTALLY FRIED. CG: YOUR BLACKROM POTENTIAL'S PROBABLY TOAST TOO.

Redrom - red romance - can only mean love without hate, the type of love we understand. 

Karkat’s describing a pretty elaborate framework around all this, and since Vriska doesn’t seem to know anything about it, it seems as if it’s kind of niche. Maybe Karkat’s been reading Troll Sociology textbooks. 

[overtrolled]

Karkat for the ask game?

ooh, okay, let's go.

My NOTP for them: hmm okay, so I am pretty willing to give Karkat a chance with any of the characters that he interacts with in HS. Since Davekat is the big ship, though, it tends to have a lot of content that is so removed from their dynamic via fandom telephone, especially since the comic ended, that i usually kind of avoid the ship. But if you want a ship that is like, one I actively dislike, I don't think I have one. My BROTP for them: this is a tough one because he has a great friend dynamic with like half the cast. I think I like his dynamic with Eridan the best for this. Karkat doesn't take Eridan's horseshit and that feels like something Eridan needs, and Eridan seems to give him a measure of trust which he needs. My OTP for them: idk i like johnkat a lot. i still read some of the old johnkat fics from the update period. i should see if there are any junekat fics, that could be fun. My second choice pairing for them: it's hard to choose. karezi is interesting but their dynamic always seemed like it would have trouble lasting long term. I like meenkat too but it similarly feels like a short lived relationship at best, although not all ships necessarily have to be about a lifetime relationship. but like i said, i will pretty much read karkat/anyone My fluffy pairing for them: pale karkan is a nice fluff pairing, although i also like jadekat. My angsty pairing for them: solkat, with vriskat being a close second My favorite poly ship for them: i think it would be funny if everyone wanted to bang him. My weirdest pairing for them: i don't think it's that weird, but fefkat is a rarepair i enjoy. there are interesting contrasts to their characters, and interesting parallels as well.

Thanks for the ask!

[cannosoup]

oh!! hello again! i hope you don't mind me stopping by, but i realized halfway through that i have in fact reached the part in homestuck where the kids all meet each other and their alt universe selves :D it's really great there's so much going on! ok i was a bit wary of all the timeline switching at first but i mean everything seems to be alright. it's very sweet to see how they've all grown up since the beginning, and a bit sad somehow too

honestly i can't believe i'm approaching the end- while you were reading did you ever wish it was longer? idk maybe it ends well but. i don't know what i'm going to do when i finish it lol

(also i know you said you don't mind me talkin about hs in your inbox but if i'm annoying you or rambling too much like feel free to let me know :] i end up talking way too much about random stuff sometimes sjdhsk)

aww that's really cool!! that part's so sweet! and yeah the timeline switching scared me a bit too, the game over flash was such a shock too but it's genuinely one of my favourite parts as well. and i ABSOLUTELY wished it was longer while reading, and tbh that feeling just kind of gets worse as you finish, as there's quite a lot of loose ends they never tied haha.

however, although the end of homestuck does kinda leave you wanting more, i'm not sure if you've heard this already but i would NOT reccommend reading the epilogues and/or homestuck^2, they never really give any closure, and just create more unanswered questions haha. plus a lot of characters kind of get butchered in the epilogues and it just doesn't really capture the feel reading homestuck itself gives you haha.

if you do want more hs content though, here are my fic recs! (sorry theyre so late T-T i keps forgetting haha) sorry a lot of them are quite ship-focused haha i'm quite a romantic so i always prefer shippy content, but most of these have a lot of plot that can be enjoyed too if ship stuff's not really your cup of tea

nothingbound was the first homestuck fic i ever read (about 50k words, unfinished), it's dave/karkat and a fic based on the film 'you've got mail', HIGHLY reccommend, does a really good job of getting you invested and also had me thinking about it for days after

love letters in digital ink (60k words, complete) is also one of my favourite fics, it's rose/kanaya and the story is primarily told through pesterlogs and blog posts by rose. basically rose runs a semi-popular blog and kanaya is her new neighbour as well as an admirer of her blog.

assholes on the internet, (11k words, complete) another dave/karkat fic, told only through pesterlogs, where karkat pisses dave off, causing him to catfish karkat using jade's blog as retaliation. i reread this regularly, it's very nice.

apples cleft in twain (and other foods of love) (almost 30k words, complete) is a primarily rose/kanaya fic (but it also has a bit of dave/karkat) that's based on shakespeare's twelfth night. essentially rose steals dave's identity after presuming him dead and gets a job working for kanaya while still pretending to be dave. a lot of stuff happens and this entire fic is hilarious

literally every fic by itsdave, a bunch of dialogue-only meteorstuck oneshots. you can read them in order as one big long sort-of-fic, i've linked the post that has them in order, but they're also quite good standalone.

Sollux Captor Isn't Dead (He's Just At College), a 3k word oneshot, a little bit of sollux/eridan? very funny

i have tons more, but if you finish those i'd also recommend doc scratch's school for supernaturally gifted adolescents (fic where all the kids + trolls have supernatural abilities and are taken to a school to learn to control them, really good, highly recommend. fair warning, this fic has some very mild untagged sexual content but it was easy enough for me to see it coming and skip it haha), also house of dirk is really good (it's kind of a webcomic too! captures the feel of hs really well, but is unfinished permenantly :(( ), and i've never finished it, but i've heard detective pony is awesome as well! ( i think there's audiobooks and movie-esque things avalible for detective pony too!)

if you want more fic recs i can easily give them to you, or if you finish all of these i can link you my ao3 and you can just scroll through my bookmarks to find more good fics :-)

hope you enjoy the ending of hs, though, and lmk what you think of it when you finish it!!!

also i never asked, but what's your opinion on the alpha kids? which one is your favourite? :O

[luna-almighty-god]

An Ampora doesn't cry n°5 [HumanStuck]

Click here to read on Ao3

Homestuck belongs to Andrew Hussie

Please don't refer to this fanfic if you are looking for canonical information.

Rating M : presence of lemon / threesome becoming a foursome

Enjoy reading!

=== ===

Previous chapter

=== ===

The following week arrives quickly, and Eridan is proud to reveal, for the first time, his apartment. He took the initiative to invite the three idiots -yes, he insists on calling them that- using the excuse that "Since Gamzee is going to move in, we might as well take a look to see how he's going to settle in. And by the way, the other two can come so they'll know where to crash now."

Sollux remains dumbfounded, as do Gamzee and Karkat.

" ... An apartment big enough for two, you say? Damn it Eridan, you could house the whole gang, this isn't an apartment, it's a castle!"

Eridan answers them with a big smile. Well, he admits it, he was very modest when talking about his home. His apartment takes up a whole floor of the building, one would almost believe in a real house! The entrance hall leads directly to the large living room, which is itself connected to the kitchen. American style kitchen, beware! There is only a counter to separate the two rooms, giving a large open space. The living room has a large couch located in front of a flat screen TV, and Karkat is the first to get outraged:

"Holy shit, you have a curved TV?! You're kidding!"

The smallest one leaves to rave about the screen, while Gamzee quietly goes to open the doors. There are no corridors, the living room is the place to go from one room to another. Gamzee just takes a quick look: an office, Eridan's bedroom, a bathroom - gosh, there's a shower AND a bath? - as well as a laundry room...

" ... Wow bro, this is so cool!" comments Gamzee, his eyes sparkling, even if he doesn't seem that surprised. He must have lived in this kind of place before his parents kicked him out.

Sollux and Karkat don't know where to look anymore. It's not only the luxury of the apartment that disturbs them, but also the impeccable cleanliness. The living room is so... pure, devoid of personal belongings. You'd think no one lives there, that it's just a picture in a design magazine.

Sollux looks at Eridan, searching for the right words before asking:

"...isn't this...too big, for one person?"

In other words: didn't you feel fucking lonely the whole time?

Eridan gets embarrassed, pouts, looks away and shrugs:

"Better too much than not enough, right?"

In other words: Yes, but now I'm not alone anymore.

This makes Sollux smile, and he decides to relax and make himself at home. He goes to join Karkat near the TV:

"I brought my switch. Shall we connect it to the screen? It can be really good.

- Oh yeah ! A mario party ! Karkat is delighted.

- No, more like Mario Kart.

- In your dreams, you killed the game! There's no fun in playing when all you do is win!

- Winning? I don't win. I DEFUND you."

Sollux approaches a mocking face and Karkat blushes with shame:

"YOU'LL SEE, IT'S ME WHO'LL DEFEAT YOU!"

Eridan holds back a laugh, deciding to let them settle in while he joins Gamzee in... shit, where did he go? He glances around the other rooms, only to find him in his own room, collapsed on his bed.

Eridan clears his throat, hoping his embarrassment isn't too obvious. Other than Feferi, no one has ever been in here, let alone a handsome guy who has ever touched him a little too intimately.

"Gamzee?"

The respondent, who was staring at the ceiling, straightens up on his elbows and smiles at him::

"Hey bro~ Sorry, your bed looked so comfortable, I couldn't resist~"

Eridan shrugs, continues to look at him in silence, before hesitating:

" ... Are you alright? What were you thinking about?

- How lucky I am to be here! Eheh, this is great, too great!"

The taller one grabs him, pulls him to fall on top of him. Eridan lets out a squeak, turns crimson. Shit, he definitely can't get used to this kind of gesture.

"You're the best Eridan, frankly the best bro of all time!

- Pff... obviously, yes."

Eridan tries to keep his head up, to swallow his embarrassment, but it's hard to stay calm when someone is hugging you like that, on your bed, in your room, and then comes to kiss you on the cheek, then on the edge of the lips... and on the mouth...

"S-Stop!" exclaims the host, placing his hand over Gamzee's mouth.

The taller man blinks in surprise, and Eridan bites his tongue before looking away:

" ... L-Listen... it's not that I don't like it, but there... no. Not there, not like that, not here.

- ... Like this? Here?

- ... I... both of us... In my room... it's..."

Gamzee stares at him again, trying to figure out what he means, and Eridan holds back from calling him names for causing him such embarrassment. Damn it, does he really have to explain it like that, out loud?!

Eridan desperately flees his gaze, and feeling his breath against his palm doesn't help.

"...This is...too intimate..."

Gamzee finally seems to understand, as his eyes widen slightly. But instead of stopping, he grabs Eridan's wrist to take it off his mouth, and offers a mischievous smile:

"You want to close the door? The bros won't bother us~"

Eridan jumps to his feet and his expression is one of laughter. He winces under the panic, the embarrassment, the intense embarrassment that clutches his heart and makes him want to run away:

"NO!!!"

He has lost control of his voice, his scream echoes throughout the apartment. That's the problem with having a big space: the echo is too good. He and Gamzee stare at each other, one dead of shame, the other stunned. Eridan takes off, rushes towards the exit, crosses the living room to the kitchen. Gamzee follows him, his big legs allow him to catch up easily although he does not dare to touch him:

"Hey, Eri, was that a joke?

- Your jokes are shit!

- Well, maybe it was not completely a joke...?

- It gets better and better!

- You know I'd never force you to do anything, right?"

Eridan didn't answer. The memory of the amphitheater comes back to him, but he refrains from bringing it up. It would be too mean to accuse him of having forced him at that moment, knowing that Eridan somewhat indulged and enjoyed the treatment. But damn... !

" ... You're fucking boring." he said, sulkily, as he walked around the counter and focused on making a hot drink, just to keep his hands busy and not have to look at the others.

That doesn't stop Gamzee from coming and sticking to his back and hugging him shyly, with the attitude of the one who made a mistake and is trying to be forgiven:

"Sorry... are you mad at me?"

Eridan glances at him, tenses at his puppy dog look, finally growling as he refocuses on his drink:

"...no. It's not that.

- What is it then...?"

Karkat looks at them from across the counter:

"He's embarrassed, you idiot! You can see he's not used to it!"

Gamzee pouts:

"Is that true Eri? Are you embarrassed?

- N-No, I'm not embarrassed! I'm just...I... Argh, yes, I'm embarrassed! There, happy?"

Eridan gets out of his grip and goes to lean against the worktop, his drink in his hands. Karkat rolls his eyes and looks at Gamzee:

"You have to take it easy, idiot. Not everyone is comfortable with physical contact.

- Like you?

- I'M VERY COMFORTABLE WITH IT!"

It' s Karkat who is now crimson, and Gamzee laughs. He goes around to join the smaller one, leans over, winks at him:

"Well go ahead, show me~"

Karkat swears, comes to kiss him, but with such vehemence that their teeth clash, and the noise makes Eridan wince, as well as Karkat, while Gamzee blinks and finally explodes with laughter:

"Ahah, too violent little bro !~

- S-Shut up!!!"

Gamzee pats his head, amused, then walks away to join Sollux on the couch. Karkat seems to be the one pouting now. He joins Eridan in the kitchen, hands in the pockets:

"Tch, how boring..."

Eridan hides his smile and just shakes his head. He then proposes:

"Do you want to drink something?

- ... Mm... water, for now."

The host nods and serves him a glass. Karkat grabs it, takes a small sip, before setting the container back down on the counter without seeming to care more than that. He looks at Eridan hesitantly, seems to want to say something but finally remains silent.

" ... Is something wrong?" asks the one with glasses.

Karkat twiddles his fingers, eyes glued to the ground, wincing as he desperately searches for words. And obviously, being unable to speak, to explain himself, frustrates him enormously, makes him blush with shame. He just seems to want to run away, but is tugged by his ego, which is pushing him to face up, trying to get him to talk.

"I..."

Eridan isn't sure how to help him. So he remains silent, attentive, patient. What could the smaller one have to reveal, that it seems so hard to talk about?

"FUCK!" swears Karkat, who gets angry at himself, at the words that still don't come out.

He stamps his foot, opens and closes his mouth several times. Eridan feels bad for him, guesses how humiliated he must feel to give such a show. But even if he would like to reassure him and to take him in his arms, he is afraid that it doesn't help, that it embarrasses his comrade only more.

But Karkat suddenly grabs his hand, squeezes it hard, shaking, before closing his eyes, taking a breath, and unpacking in one go:

"CanIkissYou?!"

He almost screamed, and now he remains frozen, eyes closed, waiting for his answer like an ordeal.

Eridan blinks, bewildered:

" ... Kiss me?" he repeats, fearing to have misunderstood.

Karkat empourpre, nods sharply the head without daring to repeat himself. Eridan remains silent, taken by surprise, he clearly didn't expect such a request.

Suddenly, Karkat lets him go, moves back, as if he had been burned:

"No, No forget it, forget it, it was shit, forget it!"

He goes to leave the kitchen but Eridan holds him by the hand, sensing that something is wrong, that Karkat is no longer just nervous but downright panicked.

"But no, I was just surprised!

- Rah, no, leave it the fuck alone! I shouldn't have asked, I don't even know what I was expecting! I'm not Gamzee or Sollux, I don't even know why I'm trying!"

Eridan widens his eyes, before frowning and pulling him up, forcing him to face him, to look at him:

"But you don't have to look like them to kiss me!

- Of course I do! I'm not... I don't have the same ease or the same fucking way of turning the head! Look at this, in front of them you lose control, in front of me you talk to me like I'm a kid!"

Karkat releases his hands and brings them back against him, crossing his arms, shoulders hunched, closing in on himself as he looks down feverishly:

"You all do this... always treating me like I'm a fucking kid! They don't even give me a chance to be ..."

But he pauses, bites his lip, so hard that Eridan already perceives a little reddish liquid appearing. He understands that this isn't just a problem with him, but a problem with Gamzee and Sollux of which he has no knowledge. Although... he suspects, deep down, the nature of the problem.

"...I'm borrowing the bathroom from you." growls Karkat before leaving the kitchen...only to blush when he sees his two lovers staring at him from the couch. Shit, yeah, it's true that this fucking apartment doesn't have the concept of "private space."

Gamzee straightens up, concerned:

" ... Karka..."

But the smaller one ignores him, slams the bathroom door behind him. He doesn't seem so much to be mad at the others but rather at himself.

Sollux grimaces and leaves the couch, moves closer to the shower room, knocks gently:

" ... Karkat, open please."

Silence. Sollux insists:

" Can I come in? Only me? ... If there's a problem, I'd rather we talk about it."

A click. Sollux opens the door and rushes into the bathroom, taking care to close it behind him.

Eridan leaves the kitchen in turn to get a visual on Gamzee but is surprised not to see him. He walks around the couch, only to realize that he has curled up on it after pulling his hood down over his head. He looks so small and vulnerable in this position, Eridan feels his heart clench. He gets closer, sits down beside him, comes to rub his arm gently.

"...I'm such a fucking bad friend, aren't I...?" asks Gamzee piteously, hiding under his hood.

- ... No. You're just clumsy, like anyone else."

Gamzee shakes his head:

"... no... no, I'm such a jerk, I do nonsense... I do nonsense for my parents, nonsense for my buddies, nonsense for my boyfriends... I'm sorry, I'm sorry I'm like this..."

Eridan would have cried about it. But it's not his place to be comforted now. He resumes a hard air, grabs the hood of the other without warning to pull it abruptly, revealing the defeated face of Gamzee. This last is startled, looks at him, the wet eyes, before remaining bewildered when he sees Eridan approaching and taking him a kiss. A long, voracious kiss, an experimental kiss too. Eridan has never done this, but he doesn't fancy a simple brush. No, he tries to devour his mouth, and this while pushing him back against the pillows.

Soon, the host finds himself astride his guest, breaks the kiss, breathless. Gamzee remains mute, breathes as fast as he does, and the situation seems so incredible. The taller man doesn't believe he's ever experienced this, no one has ever managed to just...submit him?

"F-Fuck bro..."

Eridan glares at him, and his voice becomes implacable:

"Apologize again for being yourself, and I'll slap you, is that clear?

- ... but...

- You're not an idiot, or a freak, or whatever the hell you've been told! You screwed up, it happens, but don't feel sorry for yourself for hours either!"

Because Eridan knows all too well that feeling of being the most laughable being in the universe, that feeling of shame and loneliness that makes you want to hide in a corner and never come out again. And there's no way he's going to let his loved ones experience the same thing.

Gamzee's laughter returns, more tender, more cheerful:

"Ahah... you're really... really the best."

Eridan relaxes a bit, finally laughing back:

"Yeah... Yeah, I know."

They take some time to calm down, before Eridan stands up, letting Gamzee straighten up. He goes back for his hot drink and takes the opportunity to bring one back to his comrade. They then sit down, one beside the other, in the sofa, waiting patiently for the two others to come back.

After about twenty minutes, Sollux is the first one to show up, very quickly followed by a Karkat with an elusive and slightly red look. Eridan and Gamzee hold back any comment but understand that he has probably cried.

Yet the smaller one stands in front of them, although he doesn't look directly at them:

" ... I'm sorry. I..."

He hesitates again, but this time he takes a breath, and suddenly glares at Gamzee:

"I WANT YOU TO LET ME DOMINATE! IT BORES ME TO BE ALWAYS PASSIVE! "

His face took again a beautiful red tint, but Eridan holds him in respect to be so honest on a subject which he considers so embarrassing. Gamzee, for his part, blinks before tilting his head, confused:

" ... Okay, yes.

- ... Seriously? You accept so easily? Karkat is astonished.

- We never tried, so yeah I'll try. Sorry little bro, I didn't think you were serious about it. I thought this 'want to dominate' thing was some kind of role-play where I had to submit you.

- BUT ARE YOU SERIOUS? I ASK YOU A MILLION TIMES!

- Yeah, every time we were in bed, so I thought it was a game?

- FUCK IT, I JUST HAD TO ASK YOU IN THE MIDDLE OF A CONVERSATION LIKE THAT? BUT HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO FIND THE OPPORTUNITY! IT'S FUCKING EMBARRASSING!"

Karkat plunges his face in his hands while howling of rage. Eridan realizes that Sollux, remained in the background, stifles a laugh behind his hand. He keeps himself from laughing, sympathizing with the poor Karkat who is dying of shame.

Gamzee opens his arms:

"Do you want to try now little bro?

- Wh- BUT NOT!

- Just a kiss?"

Karkat cusses, grunts, looks everywhere but at the other three boys. He finally gets closer to Gamzee:

"...If you mess with me, I'll take you apart...” he threatens.

He climbs onto the sofa, settles between the legs of the taller boy, puts his hands on his cheeks and looks at him shyly, seeming to gauge the situation, thinking about how he's going to handle it. Gamzee keeps his smile, curious and patient, while Eridan observes them from the corner of his eye with the embarrassing feeling of being a stalker.

Karkat finally comes to put his lips, much more lightly than the previous time, letting their mouths move one against the other. Without moving away he moves his head a little, changes the angle, presses harder while pushing Gamzee against the back of the sofa, coming to stick his body all against his. He comes to nibble the lower lip, licks it with the end of his tongue, and the bigger one shudders while opening gently his mouth. Karkat embraces his shoulders, deepens the kiss, slides his tongue against his sister in a hot sigh.

Eridan tears himself from his contemplation, the burning face. He fixes an invisible point, trying to ignore the movements of the couple, the wet noises which invade the room. Shit... Shit, they really don't know the term "privacy", do they?

He is startled when Sollux enters his field of vision, and he guesses at once that he has an idea behind the head. Difficult to ignore the one with the two colors of eyes when this one approaches you and that, in spite of his glasses, you feel his glance piercing your being. Eridan swallows, moves back by reflex against the back of the sofa. Sollux approaches an amused smile, takes him quietly his cup of the hands to put it back on the table, before climbing on the sofa and stuck it there.

"Relax..." he whispers.

He brings his face closer to his, and Eridan almost perceives a laugh when he asks:

"Can I kiss you?"

Even when Sollux whispers, his voice remains mesmerizing. Eridan struggles not to look away, especially fearing that the other two will continue kissing. My god, what is this situation? That appears normal to them, to them three, to kiss each other like that, in the middle of the living room? He raises his glasses feverishly, bites his lip, finishes by nodding gently.

Sollux loses his smile, becomes more serious while he puts his hands against the file, on both sides of the head of Eridan. He mimics Karkat and begins with a tender, patient kiss, to begin the contact, to feel their lips brush against each other, to caress.

"...open your mouth..." he whispers, and Eridan shudders and complies.

When he feels Sollux's tongue between his lips, he closes his eyes tightly and holds his breath. He thinks he hears the other laughing again, but he is too embarrassed to get angry right away. He is nervous, too nervous. The tongue brushes against his, wringing out a squeak, and Eridan opens his eyes in surprise, in a flinch that causes Sollux to back away.

"... uh... are you okay? " questions the one with the vairons eyes, a little worried to be gone too far.

Eridan hides his red face behind his arm :

"No! No, you irritate me, moron!"

Sollux finds his smile, takes his hand, obliges him to show his ashamed and shy expression. He comes back to kiss him, without begging the authorization this time. A muffled moan is perceptible, difficult to say who pushed it. Eridan wriggles, closes his eyes, the heat rising to his head. The tongue of Sollux returns to titillate his, their burning breaths mingle, and in this flow of sensation, Ampora seeks to what to hold on. He claws the sofa, but startles when he feels a hand taking his, intertwining their fingers. He half-opens his eyes, only to glance at it, to realize that it is Gamzee's hand.

But Sollux prevents him from thinking about it and pushes him to close his eyes, intensifying the kiss, tearing him another unspeakable noise. Shit ... He feels the hands leaving the file to settle on his shoulders, come to untie his scarf, exposed his neck to the free air. A shiver seizes him, followed by a weak whimper when the fingers come to caress his nape.

Sollux moves aside, and Eridan takes advantage of it to catch his breath. At least he thought he had the time, but he reopens his eyes abruptly as a groan, very strong, very real, escapes him and resounds in the living room. Sollux, that bastard... ! At what moment did he slip his face in his neck, did he have the audacity to come to put his lips there, to suck his skin?

Humiliated, Eridan tries to push him away with his free hand, the other still imprisoned by Gamzee's.

"Wh- Sto-StopAH!"

He finds himself unable to articulate, his throat is devoured, snatched up by greedy lips, pressed. Nibbled by teasing teeth, he squeals, twists, arches. Each corner of his skin seems to burn him, as marked by the least contact.

"S-SOL-UGH!"

He hiccups, his vision blurred, taken by a fever that he does not explain. He looks for air painfully, his heart beats too much, he hears almost only that. That and his indecent moans, those obscene noises he tries to keep quiet, in vain.

Is it good? He doesn't know, he doesn't understand, it's close to the sensations that Gamzee made him feel, he feels himself going just as crazy, and yet his intimacy is not touched, there is only his neck that is taken by assault. Is this normal? Is it normal to be in such a state for this, to moan like he does, to have this feeling of losing your mind?

The pleasure is being choked by the panic that grips his throat, by the apprehension of what is happening and what is coming next, what attitude he should have... what attitude is he supposed to have?

"S-STOP!"

Beyond the scream, it's the sob that petrifies Sollux and causes him to sit up, to look at Eridan.

Eridan who can't take it anymore, who gasps for air as he can. His skin is hot, his neck marked by hickeys and bites - not very deep, but still. Eridan, who doesn't even stare at him, but on the contrary flees eye contact, pulls himself out of Gamzee's hand to wipe his face, to try to dry the tears that have escaped him. He sniffs, feels ashamed to almost cry for that, does everything to regain his calm.

The silence strikes him. He realizes that he had to interrupt the other two, and guilt tightens his stomach. He didn't want to spoil the moment, he only wanted to slow down Sollux, to calm down the game. He doesn't dare say anything, doesn't even manage to apologize as the "sorry" itches his lips. But the silence that lingers scares him, he still doesn't dare to look at the others. Did he piss them off? Are they mad at him?

" ... Sorry, I scared you..." Sollux whispers softly to him.

Feverishly, Eridan looks at him out of the corner of his eye, and a wave of relief washes over him when he doesn't blame him for stopping him. But pride obliges, the Ampora bites his lip and crosses his arms, haughty:

"No! But we had said 'kiss', just 'kiss'!" he scolds, and this in spite of his glance still shining of tears, in spite of the traces that it left on his cheeks.

Sollux grimaces by observing him, doesn't believe for a moment in this false anger. He dares to stretch out his hand towards him again, Eridan tenses up but lets him put his hand on his cheek and caresses him gently with his thumb.

" Yes, excuse me, I rushed. Is that okay?"

Eridan hesitates, looks away, passes a hand over his eyes to wipe away the last of his tears.

" ... Yes.

- And the truth?

- But it's okay I tell you!

- Tell me again, looking me in the eyes."

Eridan gets annoyed, looks at him again, but swallows when he sees Sollux taking off his glasses, plunging vairish pupils into his own. It's unfair...it's really unfair, how can he answer with that penetrating look on him?

" ... I..."

Eridan purses his lips, and no matter how hard he struggles, he finally lowers his gaze. He tries to hide his weakness by taking off his glasses in turn, only to pretend to clean them, as he searches for his words, searches for a way to not humiliate himself further:

"...I just didn't expect you to do that, that's all. It's just surprise.

- Did I hurt you?

- Wh- But no, but it's not that!

- Fear then?

- No, no I wasn't scared!"

Sollux grabs one of his wrists, Eridan is startled and raises his head, and this time yes, this time it is well of the anger which starts to seize him and which pushes him to throw a black glance to his interlocutor:

" Let me go!

- Eridan, it's okay to be afraid, especially about this kind of thing.

- I am NOT afraid!

- You're shaking.

- NO! I'M NOT SHAKING!

- You're screaming.

- BECAUSE YOU'RE PISSING ME OFF!"

Eridan doesn't know with what strength he manages to straighten up, to push Sollux and make him fall from the sofa. Sollux who doesn't hide his astonishment by ending up with his ass on the floor, while Eridan stands up mad with anger:

"I DON'T NEED YOU TO THROW OUT THE OBVIOUS, I DON'T NEED YOU TO PATRONIZE ME, I DON'T NEED YOU TO MAKE FUN OF ME!"

Sollux frowns:

"What?! But I'm not making fun of you!"

And as he straightens up, he spits with deep annoyance:

"Stop being paranoid, shit!

- Paranoid?! No, but it's getting better and better! You're the first one to say I need to find the right partner, then you jump down my throat and I'm not even allowed to take it wrong?

- I didn't jump down your throat! And you should have stopped me earlier if it bothered you so much!

- I tried to push you away, you didn't want to hear it!!!

- Because you were moaning! You liked it, didn't you?!

- BUT I DON'T KNOW! I NEVER FELT THAT WAY BEFORE!

- I THOUGHT GAMZEE HAD ALREADY TOUCHED YOU?!

- THAT'S NOT THE POINT!

- YES OF COURSE! WHEN IT'S GAMZEE IT'S OK, WHEN IT'S ME I CAN GO FUCK MYSELF!

- THAT'S NOT WHAT I SAID!"

They are silent, only to catch their breath, their voices hoarse from yelling, but they continue to stare at each other. It's up to the one who will start again first, the one who will dare to break this brief moment of calm, the one who will provoke new hostilities...

But they are preceded by Karkat who interposes himself between them:

"Guys, seriously, calm down!"

And for it to be him who orders this, it is that they have to go. They break the visual exchange to observe the smaller one, only a few seconds, before Eridan turns away with a pest, putting a hand on his neck, hiding the marks on his skin. He makes about face and gains the bathroom, his steps clattering dryly on the ground, sign that his anger isn't appeased.

Karkat blows a blow, reassured that that doesn't start a fight... but it is Gamzee who makes the blow of grace by observing Sollux:

"Damn, he's the only one to make you scream so much."

Sollux chokes, blushes - of anger or embarrassment? - and retorts a magnificent "SHUT UP!"

Karkat rolls his eyes and gives him a blow of elbow:

"He's not wrong. First time I see you lose patience so quickly.

- Tch, I didn't ask you anything.

- Don't pout, Captor, and go apologize instead. Problems are best solved by talking, as you so aptly put it."

Sollux doesn't miss the mockery in the smaller boy's voice, though the latter is serious. He grumbles, massages the nape of his neck, before blowing and going in the direction of the bathroom, not without forgetting to put back his glasses. To believe that he is going to spend his evening in this room...

He knocks, but contrary to previously he opens without waiting for an answer, to fall on Eridan who stands in front of the mirror and who seems to disinfect some bites. There is a blank, the Ampora observes it in the mirror before simply ignoring it, frowned. Sollux enters and closes the door behind him, but the uneasiness is present. If he knows how to calm the game with Karkat, it is more difficult in front of Eridan.

"... I really thought you liked it." ends up saying Sollux, hands in pockets, without letting him out of sight.

The host grunts, continues to pat the slight wounds of his cotton, before taking out some cream and spreading a dab of it on his neck :

"... fuck you.

- I'm trying to have a conversation here. Can you be more open?

- To say what? To yell at you again that I DON'T KNOW? I don't know if I liked it, if I hated it, if you fucking hurt me and I want to do it again! I don't know, Gamzee drove me as crazy as you did, and if you must know I ended up crying in his arms! There, happy?

- ... But... Fucking happy about what?! I don't understand you, what's the problem exactly ? Are you angry with us ? Because we forced you ?

- No way! You didn't.. RAH!"

Eridan turns to him, annoyed:

"Forget it, get out, go back with the others, I'll join you!

- NO! Are you mad because you don't know what you feel? You always have to try new things, it's like with the motorcycle, you have to...

- I'M TIRED OF EMBARRASSING MYSELF!"

Sollux opens his eyes wide:

"...huh?"

Eridan nervously runs a hand through his hair:

"I'm tired of humiliating myself with every single thing I do, every single thing that happens! I'm sick of crying in front of you, saying stupid shit in front of you, freaking out over nothing, ruining the moment, just... shit, just shit, that's it! When I tell you that 'it's ok' can't you just accept it without questioning, without insisting and trying to do a fucking psychoanalysis? No because I have a shrink for that! Or I'll ask Lalonde, trust me that girl doesn't need a certificate to give you a full analysis!"

Sollux stares at him without a word, then massages his temples as he takes it all in:

"...no but...Damn it, Eridan Ampora, what's keeping me from hitting you?

- Wha...

- How do you expect me not to ask questions when you pushed me back to the edge of the tears? I forced you to the point of crying, and you want me to turn a blind eye to that? But who do you think I am, how can you expect me not to care if you cry? There is no humiliation! If anyone is humiliated it's me, me and my fucking guilt!"

Eridan further:

"Ok, I pushed you away too hard, but you were going too fast! That doesn't mean you should blame yourself, damn it! I don't need to be mothered at the drop of a hat!

- How should I know?! We've only been together for a week, let me learn to find the fucking balance, a relationship doesn't just work like that, at the snap of a finger!"

The tube of cream falls on the ground, surprises Sollux who is astonished, throwing a glance on the ground before looking again at Eridan who has the bewildered face.

"What? What?" he panics, fearing to have said a new bullshit which will start again a violent argument.

- ... We' re a couple?"

Eridan's voice was stunned. Sollux remained blissful.

" ... Huh?

- ... What?"

They looked at each other for a long time, equally confused.

" ... Eridan... We're... Yeah, we're together... ? No ?

- B-but I don't know, You tell me!

- What do you mean I have to tell you?! You should know!

- But how?! Well, kissing and touching me all the time doesn't mean we're a couple!

- Are you kidding me?! Do you let anyone touch you like that?!

- Of course not !! Only you!!!"

Eridan becomes flushed, brings a hand to his mouth as he looks away, suddenly more shy:

"B-But, it's just that... that I don't know, there was no... I never imagined... me, with you? It's...It's unthinkable."

Sollux frowns, takes a step forward:

"And why?

- But... But because it's me? I know you said you liked me, okay, but... Shit, look at me! Can you see yourself having a relationship with ME? A REAL relationship?

- Of course!

- I'm not talking about friendship or sex friend or..."

Sollux grabs his face, forces him to look at him:

"Eridan! I'm talking about being in a romantic relationship! Not just fucking!

- B-But...

- You, with me, Karkat and Gamzee! We all three agree, so..."

Sollux hesitates, bites his tongue:

" ... would you agree? You've already experimented a little... We thought you were already... okay?

- ... Honestly? I haven't thought about it at all...

- I mean, really... ? You let yourself be kissed without thinking?"

Eridan pouts, giving him a light flick on the forehead:

"Fuck you, it's hard to resist you..."

This time it wrings a smile from Sollux:

"Really? Why?

- Fuck you!

- We are irresistible?

- Damn it, Sol!

- Oh yes, sorry, you don't like my 'psychoanalysis' sessions ~ "

Eridan disengages with embarrassment to give him a blow in the shoulder, whereas that with the eyes vairons sneers. Annoyed, the Ampora picked up the tube of cream which he hastens to arrange, before passing his comrade to leave the bathroom. Sollux follows him with a smile in the corners:

" Come on Eri, say it! Say that you love us too~

- Rah, shut up!

- I won't let you go!

- I'm going to kill you Captor!"

Karkat and Gamzee see them return and exchange a look, holding back their relieved laughter. It's good to see that they've calmed down and are going to have a quiet evening again.

=== ===

Chapter 6

=== ===

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[cynical-amphisbaenia]

Roles/Interests and Blood Colour

Troll society appears to have an influence on the roles and interests expected of trolls based on their blood colour. These observations are as follows:

Rust: Rust bloods appear to be expected to take on manual labour or essential work, such as cleaning. They are meant to do this constantly and enjoy it. They are expected to always help and listen to highbloods, often acting as servants. They have a tendency to be connected to the dead.

Bronze: It is possible for Bronze bloods to become cavalreapers, but they are also expected to be pilots for spaceflight. This can often extend to an interest in flight. They appear to often be connected to the country and have great respect for animals.

Gold: They are often connected with and interested in technology and similar systems, often having an online presence or watching streams. They can also be connected to bees. Goldbloods who are powerful psionics may be enslaved to power spacecraft.

Mutant/Lime: Lacking information. Likely always living in hiding, and therefore may take on the roles/interests expected of another blood colour. Karkat is interested in becoming a threshecutioner - this role may or may not be reserved for particular blood colours, but if so it is likely for Olive bloods.

Olive: It is possible for Olive bloods to become cavalreapers, and this combined with their potential role as threshecutioners, suggest they are often expected to be members of the Alternian military. Olive bloods appear to commonly become interested in relationships. They tend to often have an interest in art and they also tend to be skilled fighters. They tend to live near nature. They are more often ignored by society.

Jade: Jade bloods are expected to work in the caverns, caring for grubs and serving the Mother Grub. They are expected to be disconnected from others. Their role in the caverns, and thus sometimes their interests/personalities, tend to reflect roles within a school (note the references to things such as boarding school, mom friends and detention). They tend to have an interest in books and/or writing, typically poetry or stories.

Teal: Teal bloods are expected to be interested in government roles, such as being legislacerators. Like Jade bloods, they are also expected to be interested in books, though typically academic or law related. They tend to speak formally and present themselves professionally.

Blue: Blue bloods appear to be expected to be confident, cruel and vicious. They often take on jobs or a social media presence that supports their highblood status. They also appear to have a tendency to steal things, including via things like hacking or plagiarising.

Indigo: Indigo bloods can become things such as ruffianihilators or archeradicators, therefore often taking on noble fighting roles. They tend to have an interest in arts and can take on jobs similar to Blue bloods, but do not seem to require a following to prove their status. They often act superior to those around them.

Purple: They tend to be subjuggulators, which is both a religious and political role. They tend to have roles that give them an influence over others and would seem typical of being in a circus, often making them entertainers.

Violet: Lacking information. They appear to have the status of nobles or even royalty.

Fuchsia: Lacking information. They are the rulers of Alternia.

All: For each blood colour, they also experience expectations relating to the aspect and two classes associated with their blood colour (see canon alpha and beta homestuck trolls to know what the classes are. I recommend watching optimisticDuelist’s videos on blood colour to understand this further).

Disclaimer: These are my own observations based on canon information. Although I may desire to treat these as rules to follow for myself, please don’t feel like I’m saying you have to treat these as hardset rules yourself!

[90percentbrainrot]

sweaty horseboi did offer a hug as a sort of acceptance of Karkat's apology for mentioning his dead lusus, Aurthour. he turned him down tho

Karkat doesn't really seem like the kind of person to enjoy hugs that much to be fair. Doubt he would even be to keen to accept a hug from someone he is very close to. Although that would probably depend on the circumstances of the hug.

But since Equius is so strong it might also just be Karkat not wanting such a strong hug.

[autumnblogs]

Day 16: Preoccupied by the same things as trolls

https://homestuck.com/story/2792

Not actually a whole lot of substance for all this dialogue, but we’ve got a few things.

I forgot how hostile Kanaya became toward Vriska, and it sounds to some extent like that’s how it is toward Tavros too? Girl really knows how to hold a grudge - Kanaya is a generally sweet girl, but she’s got a pretty uncontrollable temper when it comes to matters of the heart.

More after the break.

https://homestuck.com/story/2805

Rose is not a Prince, and if the inversion theory is true, she wouldn’t invert into one either, but the parallel between them here is about as clear as it can get. By Trolling Rose, Eridan makes it irritatingly obvious to Rose just how dangerous and uncooperative she’s becoming in her pursuit of knowledge and power by drawing these comparisons between the two of them. Ridiculous as they are, Eridan is right - Rose is becoming something of a villain, or at least a dangerously unstable anti-hero.

Rose, unlike most of the main characters who might be called antagonists, does not actually do anything especially heinous. She doesn’t kill anyone who doesn’t deserve it like Vriska does.

But she’s definitely turning into an antagonistic force nonetheless, and one whose actions will ultimately lead to the creation of the Green Sun - something which has to happen, but which nevertheless makes her Scratch’s dupe just like Vriska.

https://homestuck.com/story/2809

If Rose is a parallel to Vriska, and Aradia is a parallel to Vriska, perhaps there are some parallels between Aradia and Vriska. Not the least of which is being severely pessimistic young ladies who engage in reckless, self-destructive behavior to cope with their feelings of helplessness.

https://homestuck.com/story/2818

Gamzee is the reverse of Dave here, in a way.

Gamzee and Dave have both been under the influence of Lord English, more or less directly, their entire lives, and in time, Gamzee inherits Lil Cal. Gamzee’s crisis of faith turns him into a villain, and he exits the story as a character, becoming more or less a plot element.

Dave will also get to enjoy his crisis of faith before long when Bro dies, and separated from him, he’ll have the opposite experience - becoming a far happier and more chill person, but pretty irrelevant to the plot.

https://homestuck.com/story/2825

Dave gets trolled by Trolls along the same basic lines Rose does. Equius’ preoccupation with Hierarchy may not seem like it reflects on Dave, but Dave is clearly unsettled by his relationship with John as second banana in terms of power - there’s no way he can catch up. Dave is not the hero, in spite of all the symbols associated with him that should make him the hero. He’s the sidekick.

https://homestuck.com/story/2836

Here’s a fresh take. Dave’s Broken Symbol, and his Broken Sword, are both emblematic of the fact that he “flunked” Bro’s training. Dave is not the strongest. He is not the most badass. He is not even all that cool.

But what Dave is is genuinely creative. He’s a cunning lateral thinker. Practical, to the point, reliable. Dave isn’t the aloof guy who always wins that Bro tried to turn him into, and having his sword broken and his disc scratched are both symbols of that failure - but they are also symbols of transformation, and of coming into one’s own strengths after becoming disillusioned with a false sense of pride.

Dave might not be able to pull the sword out of the stone - he’s not the destined King. But there’s more than one way to skin a cat.

https://homestuck.com/story/2848

Let’s do some more theme association.

If the Squiddles are the Dark Gods, and Squiddles are also symbols of intimacy, maybe there’s some degree to which the impulses stoked by the Dark Gods are unifying impulses - the desire to become tangle buddies with your pals are at basic odds with the fact that you are a separate individual with your own body and your own will. The union of the real, one, unique self, Skaia, with the realm of all unrealized possibility, the Furthest Ring, is what the Dark Gods are after, but that union would be destructive to Skaia - perfect unity with the Horrorterrors would have it cease to be Skaia at all.

https://homestuck.com/story/2850

Following the same pattern to analyze this set of troll-human relationships.

I wonder if Jade comes across as cloying and condescending as Feferi does to her friends? Is she afraid that she does?

https://homestuck.com/story/2853

If we’re paying attention to these particular conversations because of the Trolls’ preoccupations with the same things that the characters are anxious and preoccupied about is any indication, Jade’s psyche is in way worse condition than just about anybody’s right now.

What I’m saying here is that the Trolls almost certainly contact the kids and have far more conversations in general than we get to see - Act 5 has already started to play around with skipping conversations and interactions that aren’t mission critical, and only paying attention to the ones that are relevant to the overall character arcs.

Karkat contacts Jade and airs the grievances that she’s currently feeling internally - Karkat all but literally is Jade’s monster headache. The two of them are frustrated over their sleeping situation and have had the exact same response to encountering the Dark Gods.

Jade is, in pretty short order, going to have to confront the same self-loathing and anger issues that Karkat has too, and this conversation serves as an immediate prelude to that.

And while it’s a pretty short line, Karkat is right - Jade suddenly understands Jack Shit.

Prospit’s destruction has completely shattered her expectations.

https://homestuck.com/story/2868

Wow! And just like that, those anger issues come right to the surface. Jade is noticeably nastier to John than she’s ever been to just about anybody but Karkat in this conversation!

https://homestuck.com/story/2880

Jade and John are task-focused, and don’t really talk much with each other about what’s going on inside of their heads - they talk about the events that are happening to them, and what they’re doing.

Which is to say that of the pair Problems and Feelings, Prospit Dreamers are more about Problems, and Derse Dreamers are probably more about feelings.

https://homestuck.com/story/2887

Now that we’re getting a chance to know the real Jade, one of the character traits I’m immediately finding she shares in common with Feferi is their sort of motherly disapproval of their friends’ choices - one of the conversations I’ve had recently with some friends about this (including @bladekindeyewear) has pegged one of Jade’s flaws as being “smothering” and it comes out in the way that she dunks on John’s preferences.

I’m going to show my ass here a little by making this reference, but it reminds me of Rarity from Friendship is Magic just a tiny bit. Maybe Rarity is a Witch too, although of what Aspect, I wouldn’t be able to tell you right now.

https://homestuck.com/story/2922

It’s extremely easy to forget that Rose pretty much unilaterally decided on the behalf of the rest of the team, more or less without consulting them, to sabotage their game of Sburb, and while it was always destined to fail, the fact that Rose chooses to destroy the game instead of playing the game is suggestive of the fact that she bears some level of accountability for the misfortunes throughout.

I’m not trying to play the blame game so much as I am trying to draw connections to help explain why I see Rose and Vriska as being fairly alike, and not just by merit of being Light Players, but also in terms of the role that they play in Act 5 - they are both manipulating and organizing timeline events in order to get the other players to do things that are contrary to their seeming interests, neither of them listens to the pleas of the people who love them to stop, and their actions ultimately lead to (at least temporary) catastrophe.

Rose is dangerous to herself and her team, and she doesn’t much care.

Or she at least tries hard not to feel too bad about it while having serious and obvious misgivings about her own actions. Knowing that there is a problem and ignoring it anyone is like looking at your face in the mirror and immediately turning away and forgetting what your face looks like.

https://homestuck.com/story/2927

And with that, we’ll pause for the evening. Not as many pages as usual, but a hell of a lot of text.

Cam signing off, Alive and not Alone.

[ask-the-party-god]

Ask The Party God - Timeline

the pre-terezi-gang timeline post is here

height references over here

hi, im jade! everyones favorite party goddess and trans doggy girl~ but you already know that! if youre reading this, it means youre interested in learning more about my reality, because paradox space is fucking weird like that and you cant really be sure all the time

as far as im aware, everything up to the point where we beat the game happened without deviations from the alpha timeline? so this is what rose has talked about as a ‘terminal timeline’, or ‘post-canon’, or whatever the hell that is supposed to mean

we got to earth-c, and i settled in the troll kingdom because trolls are cool, dave and karkat were in the neighborhood, and the caverns are close by so i can visit rose and kanaya speedily as well! i still do have my old tower out on an island, with my workshop and garden, but i almost never sleep in it, too far away and isolated from everyone...

then one day i found this old active server in the furthest ring keeping tumblr active and i thought, hey, why not have some fun? ;D

as for the others...

my darling sis june egbert! she lives in the consort kingdom, but has been thinking about relocating elsewhere lately! she went through a rough patch right after the game, unsure of what to do and full of all sorts of doubts and questions, but shes doing a lot better nowadays! specially now that terezi is back, shes been a lot more peppy and hanging around with the lalondes particularly!

rose rose rose rose~ happily married to her wife kanaya, duh, but that doesnt make her any less of a flirty cutie! a while back she got really sick for a bit, and weve been keeping an eye on her just in case it happened again, but its been all good ever since! she helps kanaya at the caverns a bunch, which makes her schedule busy busy... and you didnt hear this from me, buuuut words out on the street that she and kanaya may be warming to the idea of having a kid! <3 well see how that goes!

one cool dude~ daves a little bit of a shut-in honestly! and honestly i dont blame him? he must be tired after all the timeline and time travel shenanigans, so he spends a good chunk of his time hanging out in his and karkats house! hes kind of awkward about opening up with feelings and stuff, and ive been trying to nudge him to be more open for a while! but with all the craziness thats been going down lately, and more people coming and going and getting together, hes starting to consider things he hadnt before~ hopefully, some specific someones? ;)

janey! my uh... ecto-mom, technically, although we see each other more like cousins than anything else! she still owns crockercorp, but ever since jasprose has been around, she has been spending a lot more time at home and just hanging out with her friends, which really, sounds a lot healthier than the big business thing she had going on a while back! she enjoys teaching me baking stuff, but doesnt have much patience for my decorating skills ;p

grandpa! and grandson technically, hehe, jakes kind of a weird case, hes a mixture of a shut-in, a celebrity and an adventurer! he can spend up to weeks at a time without leaving his manor, but then hell have full weeks of interviews and hiking, and thats not to say anything of when he and dirk put out another episode or two of their dumb comedy talkshow... hes often busy with stuff, but hes still a good pal and can clear his schedule in seconds if we need him for something!

one sweet nb dude! rox really is... something else, really! fun to tag along at a party, fun to chill at home playing games, fun to talk about more serious stuff and open up with him, he really is just solid as they come! hes been hanging out a lot more with june since she got out of her depressive slump, but sometimes i wonder if junebug finds weird to get flirty with roxy, considering im pretty sure we made out in front of her at some point or two... hehehe

dirk! if daves a bit of a shut-in, hes a shut-in times two, which is weird because youd think someone stuck in post-apocalyptic earth for so long would want to hang out more? not to say he DOESNT, though! hes around jake often enough, and keeps close to jane, roxy and dave specially! we dont see each other too often, but we HAVE been messing around with robots and planning out to upgrade our respective self-bots for funsies!

aradia! we only met briefly in dreams for the longest time, but i knew already that she was a riot! she came with terezis group after she finally found vriska, and seems pretty happy just... kind of... being around and watching shenanigans ensue! i actually dont know where she lives, but she drops by occasionally, because im apparently pretty ‘fun’... cant say i disagree ;)

sollux is blind, and not dead, and WILL kick you in the shins if you keep prying about how exactly he ended up like that, which is fair enough! he spends a good chunk of his time with aradia, and im not sure if theyre dating or not...? but hes been around the other trolls a bunch! specially kanaya, apparently theyre good friends that go way back! i guess they both DO style their hair similarly, with the side spike thingies...

the other half of the dave-kat duo! swooooon~ really though, i cant remember the last time i said “dave” or “karkat” without talking about the other shortly after... buuut theyre just roomies, and hell get awkward and grumpy if you even so slightly IMPLY otherwise, despite the fact everyone knows they fall asleep leaning against each other during friday movie night! roooolling my eyes~ with the rest of the living trolls having arrived, hes been a lot more willing to go outside, which im glad for! its healthy to get some fresh air from time to time, and specially hang out with friends!

oh-la-la, miss maryam-lalonde herself! kanayas the matriarch of the caverns, and quite the busy gal, having taken it upon herself to supervise her entire species reproduction and well-being... in my opinion, she needs a good vacation from time to time, and to be less of a workaholic! >:o ive been helping her occasionally in the caverns, and as of late weve begun trying to mess around with ectobiology for some troll-human crossing experiments with... not good results so far... but hey, rome wasnt built in a day!

terezis back, yes! after spending YEARS out there looking for vriska, she managed to find her and come back, the madwoman! personally im not sure why anyone would go to such lengths for... her... but also, its not my bond, not my place to speak, she obviously really loves her a bunch! with vriska no longer lost in the middle of the furthest ring, shes started to catch up with everything going on with earth-c, and i think shes really going to like being around! specially with how much june and the rest have missed her ;)

troublemaker extraordinaire herself! shes... well, shes vriska, im pretty sure she stole that eyepatch from sollux? so you just know she up to no good already >:/ speaking of her eyepatch, im not sure WHY shes wearing it? whatever kinda wound she got, she doesnt like mentioning it, despite bragging about defeating english at every chance she gets! terezi says they found her popping in and out of consciousness in the furthest ring with some messy wounds, and that shed probably been hovering out there after the fight for years... doesnt seem to have humbled her in the slightest <.<

callieeeee! theyre super sweet and wonderful but also really shy and awkward! they live with roxy but manage to outdo dirk in terms of shut-in-ness... they also totally like roxy but is unsure about approaching those feelings considering the whole species thing and whatever, ive been trying to get them to open up for a while now! weve written fanfic together and drawn grids, so i can definitely tell theres some attraction there, even if theyre afraid of acting upon it just yet <3

jaspie is roses bane, and the one cat that made me get used to their smell enough that i dont bark at them instantly anymore! im pretty sure she crashes at janes often, and is just as outgoing and flirty as i am around earth-c parties and bars, which is saying something honestly! i wont let her dethrone me as the party god, though >:)

and finally davepeta! theyre staying with june for the time being until they can get settled around and see what they want to do here! theyve also dropped by dave and karkats a bunch, which i most certainly dont mind! i definitely appreciate some help in bringing a romantic vibe into those twos lives~ ;o

and thats about it! theres also the nannasprites and tavrosprite and arquius, but they pop by so sporadically and rarely that i dont know what theyre doing a majority of the time... we lost track of gamzee after the session so hopefully hes totally gone, and we havent heard any message from caliborn in years... and with the furthest ring broken and the black hole sealed, leaving a weird white empty space right in the middle of reality, im not sure what our chances of bringing back the other trolls are :( but still, we keep living on happily over here and having our fun slice of life ending together!

id say after everything weve gone through, we deserve a big break, dont we? hehehe <3

also, particularly important events that happen and are recorded in this blog will be tagged as timeline shenanigans!

[luminescentlyricist]

♍ Intergalactica ☀️

Rose was so glad she had met Kanaya. The girl had found her happiness, and the isolation that had plagued her had faded into the dark. She was a Seer of Light, after all. Rose had not seen the light that the girl would so readily provide her with, though. It was a mystery she couldn't hope to solve. Why Kanaya had chosen her, of all the beings on their two planets, was another. There were so many beautiful beings on Alternia alone.

While some of the people the two were around fostered an inherent dislike of their relationship, they turned a blind eye to such negativity. Nothing good would come from listening to or doing anything to acknowledge such slander, and both were smart enough to realise this. Being inter-species and homosexual, it was rather difficult. The two women were unashamed, luckily enough, and openly displayed their affections.

Rose had realised that their relationship could be taken for discrimination in a multitude of ways, and she didn't know how she could effectively brush off or discredit any of it, no matter how hard she thought. It really was a bad thing, that they were practically defenceless in the scheme of the world. Kanaya knew this as well, so the two made their best efforts to keep in contact as much as they could.

All that mattered to Kanaya and Rose was that they still had each other.

Things were made so much easier for the group when they ascended, but the road that they had been forced to travel had wrought unfathomable pain. The trolls and kids from the Alpha and Beta alike had lost so much because of the game that seemed so innocent. They had lost parents, friends, comrades and siblings along the way, and some had lost even more: Rose would never forget Dave's face when she dictated his fate.

"Isn't the sky beautiful, Kanaya? The stars are beginning to come out. We might be able to see the Virgo constellation if we look close enough."

The girl spoke, but her thoughts were in another place. She worried for Karkat, she worried for John and far too many others to have room for her own internal conflict resolutions. Instead, as a coping mechanism, she had forgotten. A frown etched itself onto her lips, one that Kanaya did not see, as she thought of the Alpha Kids. In particular, her thoughts lingered on Roxy. Painful memories began to rise, but she pushed them away.

Her mother had never been there for her, and the other Lalonde was just too much to handle at some points in time. Sure, she adored Roxy, but  she was hard to handle. She understood that they were genetically connected in some twisted way, whether it was because of the vast changes the Scratch had made to their sessions or not. Rose wanted to get closer to all of the Alpha kids, to learn their stories.

To do that, she needed to find other things to keep her links with them alive, and to face the hardships that would come with facing her past. She needed to come to terms with the dizzying similarities between the two. She was sure that the Scratch or some other game mechanic had something to do with the appearance of the kids, and knew well enough that it would take even more research - even years of it - to understand.

The game was so screwed up and twisted beyond even Rose's comprehension. Rose, who knew more than any one about occult instances and magic, was left speechless and confused. She would need, most likely, to consult Aradia or Sollux on the game's inner workings to gain a better understanding of its true nature, even though it would take time. Kanaya's voice soon roused her from her thoughts, and she was grateful for it.

"You Are Right That The Stars Are Beautiful. It Is A Shame That They Only Show Themselves More Visibly When The Night Falls Because We Can Not Observe Them With As Much Ease. I Suppose We Have More Time To Study Them Now Thanks To The Unfortunate Fate Of The Dream Moons. However Our Witch Of Life Feferi Can Not Maintain The Dream Bubbles Forever. We Should Enjoy Them While We Can."

Rose looked towards Kanaya, rolling in the grass to face her regardless of the dirt. It would all come off extremely easily, thanks to the magically enhanced fabrics that the God Tier outfits were made of. That, or it wouldn't stain at all. Although the group had adapted well to Earth C, some things were harder to come by than they had been. One of those, inconveniently, was laundry powder and detergent.

In the peaceful moment with her girlfriend,  she forgot each and every one of her sorrows. Pressing a gentle kiss to the rainbow drinker's cheek,  a smile graced her expression for the first time in an aeon. So it seemed. True happiness had evaded her for so long. The troll seemed to be pleasantly surprised by this, smiling in return and returning the kiss before she returned her gaze to the sky.

"However Beautiful The Stars May Be It Is Getting Too Dark Even With Them Shining To Provide A Safe And Well-Lit Environment For This Particular Outing. We Should Return To Our Friends Before Either Of Us Risk Getting Injured. We Have Little In The Way Of Medical Supplies Though I Doubt We Need Them. Thank You For Today Rose."

The Maryam stood, brushing off the grass from her dress and extending a hand to her human partner. She was thinking about the fact that they had once been kismesis, or something close to it, and how much the girl had changed and grown for the better. She was grateful to have Rose by her side, and not just because the Seer of Light provided her with a better understanding of human cultures and customs.

"You're welcome, Kanaya. We should do this again as soon as possible."

Kanaya and Rose did feel very strongly, and knew that they would lay down their lives to defend their relationship and the one they loved most. Even though they did have strong friendships and relations or connections to others, that was nothing compared to their own. Unbeknownst to the couple, they spoke at the same time, offering the same farewell wish. Three simple words were spoken for the first time towards each other.

"Have A Good Night, Rose."

"Have a good night, Kanaya."

"I Love You."