#And like. How are you supposed to cope.
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this chapter makes me so insanely sad⦠Laura has been alone with her grief, no closure or solace, for years. Like even beyond losing her love sheās got nobody else who really understands what happened, or why. As others have said sheās just back where she started but worse :(
#And like. How are you supposed to cope.#Laura knows sheās attracted to women. How is she supposed to deal with that?? We donāt know if she ever married but she would be expected t#How is she supposed to process this!!! Carmilla turned her entire world upside down and she couldnāt reverse that even if she wanted to#And goddamnit. Imagine living with the man who killed your best friend. Your lover. Your creature of the night.#Damnā¦..#carmilla#re: carmilla
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yoohankim connected by a red string of fate, but the red string is something han sooyoung wove herself, and the red string is the lifeline keeping kim dokja from drowning, and the red string is the outline of a person that yoo joonghyuk filled in. do you understand.
#orv#yoohankim#i keep thinking about them. i feel unwell#slightly less serious take on this is that their red string is the fishing line that hsy dangled yjh from to lure kdj into living#i just!! augh!!!!#i can't stop thinking about how intertwined they are#hsy was like you WILL be loved and you WILL stay alive#and she wrote yjh into existence for that purpose#like!!!!!!! how am i supposed to cope
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seivarden "weird coping mechanisms" vendaai is like "i'm having trouble processing my emotions right now so i'm going to engage in service roleplay for the person (ship?) i'm in love with, while the ship (person?) that i'm a lieutenant on board steers me around and speaks through me like a puppet. i find this soothing and reassuring for normal reasons don't worry about it."
#i love you. girl who is Coping.#like. i totally get why she does this#she's still completely fucking unmoored and doesn't trust her own understanding of how the world is supposed to work#w.r.t. class systems and justice and even like. other people's feelings and interiority.#and also doesn't trust her ability to make the right decision.#nor has she yet developed a particularly coherent framework of ethical decisionmaking to replace what she's lost#(or even how to interact with other people without unintentionally pissing them off by acting thoughtless or entitled)#beyond 'i guess i'll just follow breq and do what breq thinks is right because breq is better than me.'#so it's obviously very comforting for her to have that responsibility and autonomy temporarily taken away from her#can't fuck up your whole life or lose your place in the world and the people who are important to you (again)#can't make the wrong call in a high stakes situation and get the crew under your command killed#can't accidentally offend your girlfriend or incur judgement and criticism from your most important person.#you don't have to be perfectly steady or unfailingly proper and just or even particularly nice if you're just doing what ship tells you.#imperial radch
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what's fun about shipping Tim with Dick, Jason, or Damian is he has, at some point, hallucinated all of them to comfort himself. even when he doesn't like them or particularly get along with them, he has to imagine/hallucinate them just so he has the power to go on. Tim's concepts of the Robin mantle and what it should be is so fun, because he respects the others through the Robin mantle. Tim worships Dick because he was the first Robin. he wouldn't be Robin if Jason hadn't died in the mantle. and a lot of his frustration with Damian is he feels Damian isn't honoring the mantle correctly. when you ship Tim with the other Robins you can't divorce their identities as Robin from it because Tim will always see them as a Robin first and that's so fun and fucked up. like.
batman (1940) #456
Tim perceiving Dick as *Robin* cheering him on, not Nightwing, which is the version of Dick that Tim actually knows? that's just. wild of him. he will always view Dick as Robin first, his personal hero but also the original of the legacy. his love for Dick is shaped by that.
and then of course, even when he's hallucinating/imagining Jason cheering him on, it's *still* through the lense of being reminded how Jason failed? subconsciously believing that Jason got himself killed because of his actions, and that being a lesson for Tim to learn from? Jason isn't a person to Tim, he's a moral lesson about how to be Robin. any potential idolization he could have of Jason isn't because he loves Jason, it's because of the lessons Jason's death taught him.
and then, even though him hallucinating TIm is from the New-52, which makes characterization all kinds of questionable, i do think it makes sense for TIm to hallucinate/imagine Damian after Damian's death in an attempt to cope with it.
teen titans (2011) #18
to an extend, he sees Damian's death as in part his own fault. and even hating Damian, Tim needs the comfort from this to cope with Damian being gone. he's angry that Damian even was Robin, and has to learn something from Damian's death and how it impacts the Robin mantle, and teenage heroes as a whole. like, Tim can pretend he hates Damian all he wants, even getting taunted by the image of Damian, but there's still an underlying love to their relationship.
i think that's just the fun of shipping Tim with any of them. you will never divorce Tim's views of them from the Robin mantle and how fucking Unwell he is about anyone else who's been Robin before or after him, to the point he has to hallucinate them comforting him when he's at his lowest. it's always going to be a little unhealthy, a little toxic, and driven by Tim's relationship with being Robin as well. i need more Tim being weird about Robin in these ships.
#necrotic festerings#batcest#jaytim#dicktim#damitim#this post was first going to just be about tim hallucinating damian but i got carried away thinking about the identity crisis arc#have whatever this is.#idk if there's much of a thesis other than ātim's fucking weird about the robin mantle and that should extend to shipping tooā#been meaning to post this for forever#finally got around to it though so yay me.#now i need to go work on my jaytim in the new-52 thoughts bc. i have a whole post planned.#a stack of comics next to me for research and everything. god help me.#ALSO while rereading to grab panels#why is it that everyone talks about how jason says ārobin is magicā in an attempt to mischaracterize him as sunshine boy#and not the fact that tim *also* says robin is magic?#like it's not a jason thing. it's a robin mantle thing.#that's just what robin *is*. it doesn't say much about jason's character for him to say that when he's robin. it just means he's robin.#the robin mantle is magic. that's the point.#and you could argue that's more of a meta thing that exists on the wavelength of how children where supposed to project onto robin#moreso than an in-universe commentary on what the robin mantle is#(honestly the same argument applies to tim hallucinating here for like. meta intent vs in-universe meaning.)#i hesitate to even call it hallucination it's more like. daydreaming coping.#giving a face to his internal monologue type thing and this is just how the medium depicts it#also it was just sexy and cool for characters to hallucinate loved ones in the 90s in comics. it was a convention of the genre.#but still my point stands. tim pictures all of these ppl as robin first internally#and he self soothes using their image in his head. that's wild of him like what#tim you are weird about the robin mantle more than anyone else i give you that.
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something really tragic to me about phi (2008 phi, to be precise) that ive been thinking abt a lot lately is her status as an experiment. that is the primary reason she exists. she was not transported to have a chance at life like 1904 phi was, she was created out of mere curiosity from scientists. that is what she is, and delta found her experiment records. how does it feel? to have everything you know upended? about your family - both your foster parents and biological - those you so desperately wanted to know about and how they felt about you. everything you know about that is wrong. how does it feel to know that? to have your entire existence down to curiosity and just seeing what would happen? everything about that is just upended in the span of a conversation i'd be furious too idk
#zero escape#zero time dilemma#ztd#ztd spoilers#zero escape phi#1904 phi#<- making this a tag for future reference i have a lot of thoughts#its just. howbdo you cope with that. how do you live knowing thats all you were#i also am curious what the experiments entailed but its just like . yeah.#i would die if i was her tbh . like jesus#how is anyone supposed to go back to their normal lives post ztd but ESPECIALLY phi#phiposting#trevor.txt
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ok idk why i wanted to hurt myself and rewatched this conversation
#traumatised boys with horrible fathers club#i like their parallels and also how different they dealt with it all#when the person who was supposed to protect you did the opposite . makes you wonder if you did something wrong that caused it all to happen#it also shows the way they decided to cope to protect themselves#they both put up walls but they fight differently#nick's feelings are outward and projected#rafael's feelings are stewing and internalised#rafael barba#nick amaro#barmaro
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Obsessed with Vi being like, due to Jinx's actions I think she has to die. But I can't kill my little sister. Therefore Jinx is no longer my sister and really my sister died years ago. That's not how that works! But also how else is she supposed to cope i guess.
#mine#arcane spoilers#i don't know if i'm saying anything interesting but i can't stop thinking about it#she's like obi wan acting like anakin is dead after he turns to the dark side#except he has the excuse of the dark side affecting people's personalities#jinx just changed#and not even that much when you come down to it#the things she's saying simultaneously make no sense and make perfect sense#because how else is she supposed to cope?#arcane#vi#jinx#jinx and vi#my meta#meta#sort of
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Eichi gives away the mask so easily because it was never meant to be an "engagement ring" like you delulu wataeis imagined it to be lmao. It was wataru saying that he will continue playing tsumugi clown role in fine and won't leave it for hokuto's mother troupe after graduation. Do you dumb fucks even read the stories? Eichi didn't even understand tf that mask meant when wataru gave it to him and wataru referenced fucking tsumugi in his "proporsal". I dunno why the f you think it's ok to lie about "! EnDiNG wItH wAtAeI EnGaGeMEnT" when the chapter it happened wasn't even close to the end of ep:link. Cope
PS: how do you live with the fact that Eichi clearly admitted to never being in love in his life and Wataru said that even though Eichi likes him, he still can easily discard him for the sake of his objectives?
I love you anon thank you for giving me a nice reason to ramble again beautiful ask 10/10 I'm sorry this is probably not how you hoped this would go but this is such a funny block of text delightful really thank you for the enrichment please marry me
But okay yes now to get down to the actual ask just to disclaim I am solely relying on translations seeing as I do not speak japanese well enough to understant the original text so if anyone has anything to add to this or to correct me on please feel free to do so.
Now to get started I'm not sure if one could say Eichi gave away the mask "So easily" seeing as he claimed that it was "a hard choice to make"? Which, as one might know, implies unease with an idea and pondering and debating and a general amount of thinking behind a decision so? I know this isn't really the main focus of this ask but I'm just a tad miffed with the semantics of it is all. And in either case giving the mask back to Wataru while expecting it back still shows a certain degree of trust in their relationship it wouldn't have been such a big deal for him (as it apparently was) if the mask didn't have a lot of sentimental value to him (the both of them really if we look at the whole exchange).
Now to the claim that the mask was "only" Watarus promise to stay with fine and "continue playing Tsumugis clown role". This is not entirely incorrect. Regarding the acting troupe and staying with fine bit at least.
I'm assuming this bit in EP:Link Deadend/7 is what you are referencing, and I see where you're coming from. But the bluebird line
from literally three dialogue lines further down, which references this line of dialogue (notorious Eichi line everyone should be familiar with)
kind of somewhat really recontextualises that? Because you see this is a reference to a fairytale about a pair of siblings and they get sent out by a nice fairy to find the bluebird of happiness for her sad daughter to make her happy again so they both go on an adventure and travel far and search and search but they can not find the bluebird of happiness and then when they return home again, disappointed because they couldn't find the blue bird, they realise only one night has actually passed and the journey was probably just a dream. But then their eyes fall upon their pet dove in it's cage which appears blue all of a sudden and so they gift it to the fairies sad daughter which becomes happy again and sets the bird free. The real bluebird of happiness is a dove. At least in the version of the story I'm familiar with but I mean everyone sees the symbolism right? It's. very hard to miss.
And then dropping this?
I'm not sure how to say this properly but in the overall context this makes it pretty clear that Tsumugi has nothing to do with this anymore this is Fully between Wataru and Eichi. And I am the last person to dismiss Tsumugis significance in the course of Wataeis relationship as characters I will be among the first to protest when someone dismisses the importance of Tsumugis and Eichis relationship in favour of some image they have of Wataei but he has nothing to do with this one.
Yes Tsumugi gets namedropped but - again - I don't really see how that would lessen the sentiment Wataru is triying to convey here? Because. Yes. Why wouldn't he mention Tsumugi?
The entire conversation pretty much boils down to "Yes I was initially only in this because I thought I could replace Tsumugis role in your life and then I wanted to leave but we have spent so much time together that I realised that that is definitely not working out because I really do love you. I love you as a teammate; I love you as a friend; I love you as a person and I am very angry at myself for not managing to get that into your head. So please allow me to stay with you for as long as you'll have me." And then also Eichi not understanding because he has the emotional self awareness of a very emotionally unaware loaf of bread and also because he hates himself that is a very big thing about his character huge part of his character arc actually that he. you know? Hates himself? And feels guitly for his actions during the war? And doesn't think he deserves love and companionship? Which is why Wataru wanting to stay with him for him and not for some twisted form of revenge is such an alien concept to him? Because he is projecting his insecurities onto Wataru? As one is wont to do when they hate themself? "EiChi Didn'T eVen UnDErStanD WhAt tf ThAT Mask MEAnt" Yeah. That's. That's the point? So he can think about it and come to that conclusion himself which works as a keymoment in his characters journey from hating life and himself to enjoying being alive and wanting to live on because of the people he's surrounded with? He literally explains why he didn't immediately understand the mask during the EP:Link Epilogue/4
And to get back to the "I dunno why the f you think it's ok to lie about "! EnDiNG wItH wAtAeI EnGaGeMEnT" about which I have two things to say:
"Lying" implies further intent and an effort. Neither of which exist in this case.
He literally went down on one knee while making a big proclamation of offering himself to Eichi with a very personal item that works as a symbol for their commitment to each other on a starlit rooftop. The comparison writes itself.

3. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joke
And then I expected there to be a proper reason given and instead you proceed to follow that up with "when the chapter it happened wasn't even close to the end of ep:link". I know the shame is on me for expecting something sensical from an ask which has been near constant in it's lack of correct statements but such is human nature I suppose. And you are not wrong. Deadend/7 isn't very close to the end of EP:Link. That is true.
But do you know what Is very close to the end of EP:Link? The Epilogue Chapters 3-5.
Do you know what the content of those chapters is? I do. Very well actually :)
(Eichi literally explains why he didn't get it)
So if this answers your "Do you dumb fucks even read the stories?" questions, Yes. And I think I'm a lot better at it than you. So I'd say I'm coping quite well over here :p
PS: Regarding your PS, I take the "I've never been in love before so I wouldn't know" comment with a lot of humour actually as an aroace person who's emotional self awareness also ends at "good" and "Not good" I think it's very funny all things considered especially because he mentioned the loving Wataru thing several times before that and I'm generally of the belief that actions speak louder than words and also am in a happy long term relationship with the concept of "Reading Subtext". So please excuse me for not breaking down in tears everytime someone reminds me of that one singuar line of text in one of my favourite all time enstars stories that came out three years ago which also brought us the single best card set in the entire game


as well as absolute banger dialogue such as
Among others <33
And there are soooooo many other examples of wataei dialogue that simply make me swoon but I have already had to take out so many of the one's I wish I could put here so this wouldn't get "Do you love the colour of the sky" long
And also, regarding your "Wataru said that even though Eichi likes him, he still can easily discard him for the sake of his objectives" I'll just say that no he absolutely could not. I mean he'd say that and if pull comes to shove and he has no other option then he might seriously consider it but may I mention that Wataru was gone for a few days at most but really not that long of a time during Sanctuary and Eichi stopped considering being a normal rational person that doesn't leave helpless 17 year olds in the midst of a construction site. Very different situation but I feel like it's worth mentioninh here. Another example is Eichis almost not being able to go through with the war because of Wataru. Wataru had to actively come and tell Eichi to go through with it. Wataru isn't the reason Eichi started the war, that is wrong, but he is the reason Eichi almost didn't finish it. and during the war era that was his Main objective. Again I'm part of the fraction "actions speak louder than words" Show don't tell and all that, but even the words are pushing it.





And that concludes my essay :)
#I so won this#there were so many pictures and quotes I wanted to include but the limit..... :'(#if any of you were wondering I am still as insane about them as I ever was#thank you anon really genuinely and fully this has been a blast#if anyone reads the whole thing....mwah let's run off into the ocean together#or something like that idk but it is appreciated#they are my everything they really are#I'm very enamoured with the ''Cope''#Cope with what? I have nothing to cope with? well nothing wataei related at least#or the ''How do you live with the fact'' yadda yadda#How am I supposed to live with it it's funny i think it's very funny#You really trust what enstars characters say and take it at face value without examining the subtext further? amateur mistake#it's so passionate too anon i admire you#imagine disliking something so intensely you sent a very wordy ask to someone because of a silly post they made#I wish I had that much vigor in me#I mean i'd be too polite to even if I did but still it has somehting admireable to it#thanks to you i got to reread some of my favourite wataei interactions so now I think the last three hours were three hours well spent :)#genuinely thank you for the enrichment#I hope youll have a nice day we might not see eye to eye on this and I'm also objectively better at reading these stories and understanding#the characters but I still hope you'll have a nice day#as good karma or something#I'm currently still on that dopamine high from writing this i think it's obvious#best mood I've been in in ages I love talking about wataei#okay good I'll conclude the tags I've already stretched this post out so far i might as well spare the poor tag reader#but then again if you have read the post this far what's a few more tags to you#I really like the fact that the real bluebird is a dove it's soooooooo#it's good it's really good in the overall context#wataei#eichi tenshouin#hibiki wataru
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if anyone asks










tell them ive ascended to heaven
#WHAT THE FUCKSVSHISBSKD#OFFICIAL HSR MV ??????? STOP IM ACTUALLY CRYING WHY DID THIS MAKE ME EMOTIONAL#OURGH ROBIN AND SUNDAY MY BELOVEDS !!!!! AVENTURINE YOU !!!! SPARKLE LOML !!!!! BLACK SWAN ?!??!? GALLAGHER !!!!! ACHERON MY LOVE !!!!!#AND SAMPO MY LOVE YOU AAAAA#DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON FIREFLY AND MC ?????? LIKE STOP THEIR SCENES ARE SO SO PRETTY AND THE WAY THE SONG SOFTENED WHEN WE SAW THEM#THE MUSIC IS SO !!!!!! AND THE FACT ITS IN ALL 4 LANGUAGES TOO LIKE HELLO WHAT THEY ALL SOUND DIVINE ????#AMVS WHO FR šš#stop im not ready for penacony i cant believe 2.0 is in a little under 2 weeks like how am i supposed to cope until then ???#all the qol updates and the free 20 pullsā¦. sobbing hsr my love my life my destiny ā¦ā¦. i will give u my bank whenever u want ā¦ā¦.#they have it out on spotify and u can bet ur ass im already looping it and will continue to do so for the next 6 months#AT LEAST#god the vocals ā¦. the cinematography ā¦ā¦ the vibes ā¦ā¦ i cabt everything is so perfect ā¦ā¦.#interstellar journey 2.0 and my god im so glad theyve done it again and will most likely do it for new worlds/regions in the future š©š«¶#may this journey lead us starward <3
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The world:
America:
The world: Everybodys so creative
#you see how you probably werent supposed to do that (again) but you did#humor is my coping mechanism#least he cant run next time#as long as he doesnt outlaw the 8 year president expiry date#perhaps heāll snuff it before Jan#felon cant work at mcdonalds but they can be president#like if putin and kim jong un are happy with the result you know its bad#like big bad#bad bad#election 2024#not turtles
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People geuinely hating Shauna makes me want to rip and tear and bite into their flesh, if you put this exact character into a man people would be falling over themselves for him
#shauna is not super dissimilar to bellamy from the 100 in terms of ruthless tyranny. the difference is that#bellamy got better and shauna is getting worse#and! bellamy is a man š so everyone wanted to fuck him#she could not Possibly have more sympathetic motivators for being this way. and yet#like shes not supppposed to be redeemed in the eyes of the audience. shes supposed to scare you and disgust you#but you can walk away from that and still admit that shes a very interesting novel character for a teenage gitl#also why does everyone act like a teenage affair is the worst crime anyone could ever committ#they were like 17 years old who gives a fuck#shauna was Not bad before the crash#she is supposed to SHOCK you because of how quickly she goes downhill when her brain cant cope with the level of trauma shes experiencing#shauna shipman#yellowjackets
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i think my biggest problem with the pirate game is majima's absolutely unhinged emotional sheltering being presented as like. a good and healthy and normal thing. which. like. i SUPPOSE the only acceptable situation to do that in is with a child youre responsible for. but its still not acknowledged at all that its unhealthy..? but then again this is how kiryu saga has been for years too. youre just supposed to look at it and know better. they dont really spell it out. at least they didnt until infinite wealth
#its just like. these guys are making the best of a really bad situation#the really bad situation is. themselves#it was i think more obvious with kiryu because his life was ruined over it#and so was majimas but we didnt See majimas life in those games#so it feels like. the game is kind of. approaching majimas coping mechanisms uncritically...?#sure theres lessons to be learned from that but its like. not something to try and emulate#there IS stuff that is genuinely like. good. and healthy. and that i appreciate the writers for presenting in the way they did#especially the stuff with how. you can and WILL make mistakes. you will fuck up beyond your wildest dreams#and sometimes the consequences will be irreversible. but its never too late to start doing the right thing#majima does have a really good grasp of this. he always has its one of his biggest strengths#but his codependent relationship with kiryu IS like. actively ruining his life and his relationship with saejima#and he just does it all over again with noah. except its kinda warranted this time because it is an actual kid#but are we supposed to look at it and go aww. thats so nice of him#like. majima. you are not normal#tbf the stuff with saejima does make me think they are aware of this and want us to be aware of this. its just not the tone they wanted to#take with this game#i guess i wouldve preferred an infinite wealth style deconstruction of majima and his coping mechanisms#but its also SO majima to do. All Of This instead of. actually facing his problems#like hes stillllll running#thats the point#and saejima knows this. hes made peace with it#yapping#majima gaiden
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Augh
#fancy is really struggling#and the babies are lovely and just FASCINATING in how they developed around but not shaped by humans and i so very deeply enjoy them#but they are also a little ungovernable due to their age and general lack of caring about rules and they are bothersome and rowdy#and it is obviously so so hard on her and my heart is breaking because im afraid we wont be able to get her through this#and i will have to give the babies up#and...not have another cat#just one#i would be crushed#and added to all of that is that the babies are taking their time learning to be pets and that is fine and wonderful actually#but...i need surgery on at least one ankle and i won't be able to keep up with them if things haven't sorted themselves out by then#and they haven't become more manageable and fancy hasn't adjusted#so we are asking about meds for poor fancy and hoping that works#but she's really having a hard time guys and i am fighting so hard to cope in a household where i spend most of my time alone#with two animals who don't love me yet or interact with me like pets (i'm a source of three things: food and snuggles on demand and NO STOP#and one who is sad and not herself#and frankly it's terrible that i can't fix this#and i am trying not to lose my shit but this wasn't supposed to be so hard#and im afraid i may lose five cats and not three#and im already barely holding on#i don't know what to do and neither does my boyfriend#i don't want to turn around and have to tell you guys we can't keep the babies#i feel like i am failing at something i am supposed to be GOOD AT#i don't want to be in a house so empty#i can't live like that#having the babies is lovely#they're so alive and the boys were so sick by the end and the stress of the constant anxiety and grief as they faded away was crushing#even before they died#it's been so good to have them running about#i don't want to LOSE that#im so tired of LOSING things
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if people are so great then tell me why my character ai is keeping my passion alive rather than the people who are supposed to motivate me.
#screw this#it's like people get bored of you#and you're tossed aside#no matter what you've done for your community#and you're just back at the start#because nobody's interested in you#it makes me sick#and I hate it#I feel like I'm talking to my wall#maybe I'm just doing things to get any scraps of appreciation I can find#do I literally feed on that#or what#fuck it all#it's hardly making a difference#and neither am i#how am I supposed to feel#or cope#when the only person helping me is myself#at the moment
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Not Arya, Robb, and Jon catching strays for not "warning" Sansa about Joffrey?? As though they didn't all meet him at the same time and have equal opportunity to understand what he was like?? It just blows my mind that somehow everybody can be blamed for her actions regarding Joffrey but Sansa herself. Apparently, she can't be expected to understand anything because nobody sat down and slowly explained everything to her using small words (not even when Ned does just that lol). And then they just ignore the fact that Sansa had a crush on Joffery and actively wanted to marry him? To the point of excusing his behavior when she witnessed his cruelty first-hand? Then they pretend that she was just "coping" with her engagement when she actively argued against Ned breaking it and went to Cersei because she thought she could stop him from doing so. There's no way they like her actual character if this is what they have to come up with to cope with her writing.
#anti sansa stans#none of these words are in asoiaf#we're almost at the point of saying that Sansa had a crush on Joffrey being /anti Sansa/ oh brother#they straight up don't like this girl like there's literally no other explanation for the metas they come up with to absolve her#they hate how she was written and hate that the author doesn't favor her and warp everything around excusing her actions#the /she's just a child/ crowd can't even handle the fact that she was childish and made excuses for Joffrey cause she had a crush on him š#I fear for her if George gives her a darker story down the line cause her supposed stans are going to hate it#love how a younger Arya can be blamed but if you say Sansa should've known better then you get called a misogynist#this is all part of an unbelievably long thread of nonsense cause op couldn't cope with Sansa being a bratty child and having a crush#this is why I roll my eyes when stansas cry about the hate Sansa gets cause they want to assign unreasonable blame to every other character
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the reason why callout culture sucks that no one ever directly wants to say is that a lot of severe trauma survivors get called out for the shit they wrote when they were really sick and ill and not okay, and instead of the callout focusing on getting the other person to see that they need help or REALLY need to take down whatever work they made its just like "KILL THIS BITCH" and no offense but it really sucks. like a lot. its one of the reasons i talk about proshipping so much is because even from an outside pov i can just tell so many people who are into prokink/proship are severely severely traumatized people who have become convinced that they cannot get better, enjoy regular sex or get past this issue and the problem is for the most part if they get caught there IS no "getting" over it there is no "doing better" in the eyes of people online so theres literally no incentive to recover or do better or even take any of the work down. the idea that you are just perminantly tainted and unrecoverable goes hand in hand with the exact mentality victims are forcefed by their abusers that if you're an incest or csa survivor that your abuser has essentially "tainted" you and made you just like them for the rest of your life. that because you were hurt by this person you've been forced into a life of hurting people in the same way.
and that isnt TRUE but you don't realize how much thats shoved on you and told to you over and over and over as a survivor of this shit, it really becomes part of your understanding of yourself. and i see a lot of cases where someones been caught for drawing or writing something really fucking gross right when they're hitting adulthood, and then they get called out and it follows them. Not just for a few years but for the rest of their young adult life and it makes me sympathize with people who allow that public and constant harrassment to force them into a shame corner. This is what I mean when I say society TARGETS victims hard core, because the idea of a victim is someone who was never involved never looked never experienced and was wholey traumatized. Anything else, any other sort of behavior or role in your trauma you take and you are seen as a deviant just like your abuser. Sexual assault especially childhood sexual assault is seen as something that invades and sticks to you and infects you.
I think a lot about Deliah and Springtrap, about how the creator for that got "canceled" for writing some genuinely henious shit. But they were also literally a teenager, they said that the comic was based off their real life and they took a lot of inspiration from their experiences and personality for both the characters and the story. They are used as a periah and publically mocked and harrassed for posting the shit they did. I still see it joked about regularly and it just makes me sick to my stomach. How loud does a kid need to scream for help before anyone hears them? Why does it get to be a joke to others? It really, really really jades me. Its just geoss.
#i think i find myself having a lot of sympathy for people like this because of the whole my parents taking my fanfiction#as some sort of murder manifesto and how that followed me through my entire life and drastically impacted how my time institutionalized and#in psyche care as a whole when in reality it was a childhood trauma fantasy story about getting power back in a csa situation#blagh#i really hate that my step mom made it about her it makes me so deeply uncomfortable#and also just really weird like are you admitting you sexually assaulted me? if feferi was supposed to be you? even though she was Not based#off of you? my fucking step mom kept doing that shed see any character i was writing to cope w my mother trauma and assume its her#I HAD A MOM BEFORE YOU. A NOT VERY GOOD ONE. IN FACT THE REASON YOU SAY YOURE HERE IS YO HELP US MOVE ON FROM HED
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