#Basic EV Trim

[vmantras]

Tata Tigor EV XE: Affordable Electric Sedan Overview

₹12.49Lakh The Tata Tigor EV XE is a compact electric sedan designed to provide an economical, environment-friendly alternative to traditional combustion-engine vehicles. This entry-level electric vehicle (EV) offers an excellent combination of range, safety, and practicality, making it a competitive option in its segment. General Design and Build The Tigor EV XE retains Tata’s design ethos,…

[taeslarityy]

dirty laundry ༄ dave york one shot (18+)

-> pairing: dark dave york x female reader

-> word count: 2.8k

-> summary: it’s a hot august week at the york’s lake house, which also happens to be the week you and your husband got married one year ago. your father in law — dave york — finds you changing in the laundry room and decides to give you a celebration of his own.

-> warnings/tags: father-in-law dave york, infidelity, dubcon, NON-CON, age gap (reader is 21, dave is nearing 50), SMUT 18+, heavy degradation(whore, slut, bitch), humiliation, dumbification, unprotected piv, sir kink, rough face-fucking, forced creampie, talk of pregnancy, reader is under the impression that she endures forced impregnation, hair pulling, slapping, spanking, semi naive reader, dave is not a cutesy nice man in this.. he honestly has no concern for readers feelings or pleasure. so please, if themes like dubious consent + non-con + blatant cheating are not ur forte, protect ur peace and scroll away!!

-> a/n: okay okay hiiiii. when i decided to participate in @hellishjoel ‘s #hotdilfsummerchallenge, i had a few ideas in mind. one happened to be this! but i felt more comfortable writing for joel and was confident in what i had planned. basically, this is opposite of that. no fluff or happy ending.. or even happy anything. so i wanted to share! thanks again kylee for letting me participate <3 and thank you to my beloved dearest @sweetpascal for aiding me yet again, i love u 🤍

let me know your thoughts!

DARK CONTENT BELOW: READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CONTENT YOU CONSUME.

A huge part of growth, means acknowledging your mistakes.

When you failed your first semester of college, you knew it was from lack of trying and partying six days a week. So, you studied more and partied four days a week instead. When you slammed your brand new Mercedes into a flag pole, you knew it was from scrolling on Instagram which caused you to push accelerate rather than stop. So, you never went on your phone while driving again.

When you fell in love your sophomore year and decided to get married at twenty, you knew it was because you needed the well-off grad school bachelor, Daniel York. So, inadvertently, you settled. Now, a year later, you're sobbing in his family’s lake house bathroom because he somehow forgot that tonight was the eve of your wedding anniversary.

You feel like a complete and utter idiot. And for once in your life, you just might be. Staring at your reflection, you examine your appearance. You look effortlessly amazing today, after spending the day out on the boat. Hair, body and face all faintly sun-kissed. Your skin freshly shaved, legs and arms lathered in your favorite oil.

This was your final attempt to see if Daniel would stare at you with the same look of admiration he had so long ago. Your first attempt to ask him about starting your own family. Tonight was the night, and you were determined.

Briefly peeking out of the guest bathroom and down the hall, you decide you can rush into the laundry room only a few doors down. Everyone should seemly be downstairs, finishing up a game of Monopoly. You had the pleasure of winning two games in a row, pissing of the frightfully competitive York family. That’s when you decided to call it a night and head up to get ready for bed — bidding everyone a goodbye as you kissed your husband atop his head.

Wrapping your robe securely around your waist, you make your way towards the closed door and enter just as the dryer sings the most obnoxious 45 second tune that confirms the load is finished. Rich people shit, you mutter to yourself. Grabbing your bikini and sundress to hang up first, then laying out a sheer white silk sleeping dress with baby blue lace trim.

Looking back at the closed door, you conclude you should be fine to just throw it on before laying yourself out on your shared bed. Ready for your husband to see you so open and willing to be used by him. As your robe falls to your feet, a slight creek fills the silent space.

Whipping your head back and grabbing the nearest towel to cover yourself, you're met with an alluring glare from your husbands own dad. Your father-in-law, Dave York.

"Dave wha- what are you doing?" You question with a panic laced tone. Completely thrown off by the way he's leaning against the now locked door, hands in his wrinkle-free perfectly fitted black work slacks. His lack of response is louder than the faint trickle from the utility sink your bare-ass is pressed against.

Dave saunters over to you, his pristinely polished shoes clinking heavily with every step despite the minimal weight he's using. It's a commanding presence, shows how he doesn't have to storm over to establish authority. His handsome body towers over you and the faint hairs on your spine rapidly rise at the feeling of his warmth nearing your own naked body. Aside from the small washcloth that covers your crotch and arm across your heavy tits.

His veiny calloused wedding ring-wearing hand reaches next to you, finding the lace on your nightgown satisfyingly soft.

"Look at this, angel. Did you plan on wearing it for my inconsiderate son?" He remarks, looking into your wide eyes as his fingers continue to twist and feel at a piece of clothing that is filling you with an overbearing amount of embarrassment.

"I d- you weren't supposed to see that." The nervous confession brings a crooked grin to Dave's face.

"It's real pretty, just like you. Sexy even.... but I wouldn't waste my time putting something like this on for Daniel." Shaking his head at your frazzled state and utilizing that dismissive tone he does so well.

"W-why?"

Pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance at your innocent unknowing voice, Dave reaches a hand to slowly move your arm that's covering your plush chest. "Because, he left 10 minutes ago. Waved bye to me as I pulled into the driveway."

Now you're really fucking confused. Your husband never goes off without texting you to let you know, and why would he leave you alone at his parents home? Especially on the night prior to your anniversary.

"I don't understand. Did he tell you where he was going?" You probe at him, not processing the way his rough fingertips are skimming over your navel, up across your chest. Suddenly, you yelp as he pinches your pebbled nipple and grips under your adjacent perky breast. Your hand quickly grabs at his wrist, but he slaps it away — holding it at your waist.

"You really have nothing going on in that head of yours, huh? Just floating around being the perfect little wife for my son, is that right? Too stupid and blind to see that your husband cheats on you every living moment and only married you because you're nothing more than a sweet voice who’s gentle on the eyes." His painful out-of-pocket words paired with the twisting of your nipples has heavy tears brimming at your lashes. "Kind of him to make sure you're gentle on his old mans eyes too.... we always did share a type."

"Fuck you," you spit at him. You've never dared be rude to Dave, or anyone for that matter. But his condescending temper, sudden violations to your privacy paired with the already upsetting feelings you've been enduring today was a breaking point. As you rip your hand from his grasp prepared to rush out of the room, he grabs your throat in a vice grip. Landing a brutal smack on your cheek that causes your head to turn from the impact, just for him to use that same hand to yank your hair back to a straight position. Body now pressed against your own — you feel the washcloth protecting your femininity drop at your bare feet in terror.

"Hmm. Never heard you cuss before, sweetheart. Thought I taught my son to train his wife better than that."

A heavy tear streams down your now red swollen cheek, as you take in the hurtful message your father in law is clarifying. You're nothing but a piece of fuck meat, a trophy wife. But clearly not honored enough for your husband to use you. Humiliatingly, the way Dave's clothed body is up against your own, has your exposed cunt throbbing and leaking down your legs for him. You were good enough for Dave York, and that was an honor within itself.

"'M sorry," you murmur at the feel of his covered thigh spreading your leg and nudging into your soaked pussy.

Dave chuckles at your nearly cock drunk state, "haven't even touched you and your leaking on my dress pants. No wonder he keeps you around, you're just a perfect little slut willing to please."

"Y- yeaah," you sigh lightly humping his thigh, even though Dave didn't even ask a question. Something within you just wanted him to understand your body was his to use, despite both your sacred dedications to other partners. People so close to you. His son, your husband. Your mother-in-law, his wife.

He swiftly moves his thigh from between your legs, pinching your cheeks so they're puckered willing you to look at him with those glossed over doe-eyes he fucking leaks over. "Use that head and address me properly."

Your head swarms for a second, worried of his reaction to an incorrect title. Testing the waters, you whine, "yes, sir." The words muffled by the tight hold he has on your face.

With a sinister grin on his face, Dave pushes you down on the solid tile — hand still threaded through your hair to ensure your head movement is in his control.

"Look at that, your brain does work. Let's see about that mouth."

Yanking the zipper down, he pulls his semi-hard cock out and slaps it on your cheek, precum smearing slightly. As you eye his cock, you come to the realization that he's slightly bigger than his son at half mast, and you're gonna have to calm yourself to handle a monster like that.

"Are you gonna show me how good you take a cock down your throat? With those dick-sucking porn worthy lips?" Dave peers down at you. He has started to jerk himself to full length, his thumbs barely touching around his width.

"Yes, sir. I am."

The way your eyelids flutter up at him, so docile and unaware of just how vicious Dave intends to be on your needy body. It unlocks that fundamental primal male urge that he normally suppresses during sex.

"Open your mouth, bitch." As your tongue lolls out of your mouth obediently, a dribble of spit going down your chin to your neck to your tits gleams in the soft light. Dave grins as he stuffs two fingers in your mouth, touching at your sensitive uvula. You instantly attempt suppressing your rare gag reflex, body unprepared for his actions. "Nice job, knew you were meant to have your mouth filled."

Dave rips his fingers from you and smears the thick string of saliva across your face — slapping you across the face, rather gentle than before. As he grabs his cock and lines it up with your mouth, you inhale deeply. Seemly more aware of how Dave likes to be. Callous, straight-forward and dominant.

Before you can suck him into your mouth, Dave spits right on his cock — some of it landing on your moisturized lips — just to slam himself down your throat. Your eyes spring open looking up at him, polished hands gripping at his slack-covered thighs. You feel your left over slick on his right pant leg. The taste of his long day is heavy on your tongue as his balls nuzzle at your chin. You're overwhelmed with his scent. The hair at the base of his cock tickles your nose, stud piercing almost getting caught.

"Riiiight there, that's fucking it. What a real fucking whore."

Dave lets his head fall backwards, eyes on the ceiling as he feels you sputter around him, your spit dripping heavily down his balls and onto the tile between his legs. He's unsure on how long he looks upwards, until he feels the digging of your fingertips into him. When he looks down, your eyes are bulging — about to roll into the back of your skull. So he pulls off of you.

Your belligerent cough is almost too loud for comfort, so Dave jerks his cock and plops his full balls into your mouth. And like the eager girl you are, you suck them into your mouth. Licking at the seam between them, letting them bounce off of your tongue. You lick downwards, tonguing at his delicate perineum. That small but dirty act makes him groan loudly. Loud enough for someone on the second floor to hear.

Realizing he's getting too comfortable, he goes back to filling your mouth. Alternating between shallow fucking of the throat and just letting it bulge inside. His big hands wrapping around your neck to jerk himself through the thin hump of protruding skin.

When he hears the shrewd screech of his name from the mouth of his wife downstairs, he pulls out swiftly and yanks you up, hoisting your leg onto the counter. Prodding his cock head at your now unbelievably soaked entrance.

Your mind is hazy and disorientated concerning what's about to happen. You feel like you've barely had any time to process the fact that your father in law is treating you like a common street whore. So, when he pushes into you, a wailing shriek escapes you.

Dave slaps his heavy hand around your mouth from behind, pushing in balls deep but not before releasing a moan of his own.

"Better shut that mouth before I stuff something in there... good god. How is that cunt so damn tight? You're snug around me, guess you're not a slut after all. Tight pussy but loose throat, just how I like it."

Dave proceeds with his relentless thrusts into your aching cunt. You don't remember the last time you were filled so thoroughly. It makes you forget how fucked up this situation truthfully is.

As Dave's cock is slamming into your cervix over and over, you feel your lower stomach tightening. He feels it too. Dave has been holding in his orgasm since you first fell to your knees and gave him those fuck toy eyes. So before you can cum all over him, he grabs you by the neck from the front and puts your ear right by his mouth so he can relay his special message.

"My son told me you've been begging him for a baby... how sweet. You just wanna be a mama, huh? Or maybe, you think having one will fix your relationship. Just reminds me how stupid you are. If a kid could save a marriage, my wife and I would've been happy ever since she pushed that little shit out. But, I'm gonna make it even better for you, sweetheart...."

Dave pushes to the hilt as you cum around him, whimpering behind his hand. Eager to hear his words, simultaneously terrified.

"Gonna cum inside and get you pregnant myself."

You scream into his hand, trying to push him away from you, trying to get yourself away from his spearing cock. All your effort does is push him in deeper, your body going lax at how stuffed you are.

"Don't fight me, angel. Just take it..." You feel his warm cum spilling into you, your body quivering. "Good... so good. I already feel your body sucking up my cum.. eager for it. Eager to be round with your father in law's baby. What will it call me? Grand-dad?" He snickers into your ear as he releases your body. You just lay there, half your limp limbs hanging off the counter.

Dave watches his thick white liquid drip out of you, and down your inner thighs. He pats your ass and tucks himself back into his slacks.

"Don't worry too much. Daniel looks just like me, he'll never find out his kid is actually his half-sibling. That is unless you tell him. You want him to find out you were on your knees being a slut for his, daddy?" Dave questions you. You don't speak a word. Just staring at the piped detailing on the cupboard that holds all the scented detergents.

"Just go, please. So I can clean myself up." Those few begging words take the reminanets of your little energy.

Dave grabs your now wrinkly nightgown and robe, pulling you off the counter so you're forced to stand in front of him. Body spent, his finger prints have left slight indents on various parts of you that you're positive will bruise in the days to come. You realize now, there's no way your husband can see you uncovered for weeks.

"You're gonna put this slutty outfit on and walk your ass into his room, with my cum dripping down your legs. He's been waiting for you, sweetheart."

Your jaw drops at his demand. Disgusted yet your cunt clenches at the filth of it all.

"I thought you said he left?"

Dave just smiles at you like you're a mindless child. You almost fall to the floor in despair at the discovery of what a lying sick bastard Dave has revealed himself to be. You don't know what to do. You've caught yourself up in this twisted game and as of now, there's no way out.

So, you throw the soft lace over your head and run your fingers through your hair attempting to fix your appearance. As you unlock the door, Dave places a gentle hand on your waist and kisses the top of your head. You hear him inhale your scent before he pushes you out of the door and watches you meander to his son's room, a slight limp in your legs.

You look at him, distain on your face as you open the door to find your husband scrolling on his phone. With an arrogant look spread across his face — "Where have you been?"

Dave hears the click of the door lock setting in place. As he walks towards the stairwell, he can't help but laugh at the memory of his vasectomy he received many years ago.

thank you truly for reading! let me know your thoughts below or in asks!! reblogs are greatly appreciated <3

[natti-ice]

Tom Riddle NSFW Alphabet.

Warnings: 18+ mdni, under the cut are NSFW headcanons

Author’s note: this is a reupload, I wrote this a while ago!

A = Aftercare (what they're like after sex)

Tom can be quite rough during sex, he has a lot of aggression that releases during sex so he makes sure you're okay afterward. He doesn't mean to hurt you. He cleans you up after making a mess, he leaves kisses on all the areas he was the roughest(your ass mostly, he's really into spanking). He isn't always the most affectionate person in public but behind closed doors, he'll hold you and ask if you're okay.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner's)

He knows he is attractive and is very confident in himself. He has toned muscles but isn't bulky, he likes his forearms and his hands the most. He loves using his hands, he likes watching you squirm. He is definitely a tit man, but he adores your ass. A nonsexual part he loves is your neck, kissing and leaving hickeys are his foreplay.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Creampies. He loves finishing inside of you, it feels like he's marking his territory you're his. But he does switch it up sometimes, facials are also a favorite of his. He likes when you're on your knees in front of him, he likes feeling dominant.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Before you got together he used to watch you from afar, not on some Joe Goldberg shit though. He was very fascinated with you from the moment he saw you, he needed to know more about you. You aroused him just by breathing, he often thought about what it would be like to fuck you, all the things he would do to your body.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they're doing?)

Tom is quite experienced, he had many sexual encounters before meeting you but none of them had feelings involved. When you got together he had to learn how to incorporate intimacy during sex. He immediately knew all the right places to touch you, learning your body was the easiest thing to do.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

He's more of a missionary man but where you have your ass hanging off the bed and he's fucking you while standing, it gives him more control. He likes watching the pleasure on your face, he loves turning you into a complete wreck. Also, he loves how your tits bounce when he thrusts inside of you.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Tom's a pretty serious person so he isn't very humorous but he will chuckle when you look pathetic under his touch.

H = Hair (how well-groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He takes a lot of pride in his looks and hygiene, he keeps everything neatly trimmed.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

At the beginning of the relationship, it was purely for sex. He wasn't too worried about romance he just wanted to get his rocks off. But as he started to fall for you he incorporated more romantic gestures. Like foreplay, going on dates, etc. In the moment he tries his best to make sure that you're enjoying yourself, he won't do anything you aren't comfortable with.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He has always been an active masturbater, even though he can have you whenever he wants he still masturbates. He thinks about all the times he's fucked you, all the places he's fucked you, the way you melt under him, just thinking about you makes him hard.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

He has a few different kinks, he likes degradation, hair pulling, spanking, public sex, light bondage, and edging (he loves to hear you beg).

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Honestly, he'll fuck you anywhere and in front of everyone, he loves showing off what's his. Public bathrooms are always pretty accessible when you're feeling horny in public. At home, he likes taking you on the floor, the shower, the kitchen counter, and literally every room in the house.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

You don't have to do much to arouse Tom, wearing a more revealing top can turn him on. Teasing him or making him upset makes him very horny, getting under his skin is the best way to get him into bed.

N = No (something they wouldn't do, turn offs)

Tom is pretty open to most things but he really does like to stick to the normal things he likes. I don't think he would like being a sub though unless it was something you really wanted(plus I think he'd be afraid that he would like it.)

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Tom doesn't mind blowjobs(he prefers you to deepthroat him) he loves to eat you out. He's very skilled with his tongue, he knows the right pressure to put on your clit, fingering is also a must, and he loves hearing you moan.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

When you both first start having sex it's pretty slow and gentle, he likes working you into it. As time goes on, he gets pretty fast and rough. Being rough is a big turn-on for him, throwing you around in the bed a little bit really pushes him to the edge.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He is always up for a quickie, especially since he knows how needy you can be. No matter if it's a quickie or not, you're having sex. Every. Day. He's also pretty busy sometimes so it helps him relieve stress.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

As I said before, he's down to try anything that you want to do even though he likes to stick to what he knows he likes. Sometimes if he's feeling spontaneous he'll suggest you try something new.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

There's a two-round minimum every time you have sex. He can last up to 30 minutes a round, he's trained himself to last longer to please you.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He definitely has a vibrator he uses on you when he really wants to see you get worked up. You know as soon as you see it, you're getting edged. Having control of your orgasm brings him pleasure.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

THE BIGGEST TEASE! Like I said he's really into edging/orgasm denial, making you beg for it by teasing your pussy with his dick, even in public he'll whisper in your ear the filthiest things and watch you try to stay calm.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

When he's fucking you he can be pretty loud, he moans when he's deep inside of you. He's a big dirty talker, he calls you all sorts of names like slut, whore, bunny, etc. Not everything he says is degrading though, he loves telling you how good you feel.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He's secretly always wanted to have a threesome but knows he would get too jealous and ruin it for you so he never says anything.

X = X-ray (let's see what's going on under those clothes)

He definitely has good length and girth, it's not too big to the point it hurts but it's big enough to stretch you out. For the rest of his body, he's very fit but not overly muscular. He's never really understood the desire to have big muscles.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

This man's sex drive is crazy. He doesn't really know how to deal with his emotions properly so it all goes into his sex drive.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

Sex does relax him but unless you're fucking at night he won't fall asleep. After you two finish he'll cuddle with you until you fall asleep, sometimes it takes longer for him to go to sleep because he always has something on his mind.

[candycandy00]

I’m Your Present! - A Togame x Reader Fanfic

Togame jokingly asks Santa for a cute girl he can play with all night long. He gets you. 

Smut. 18+. Fem Reader. All characters are adults. Bondage. Use of toys (vibrators, handcuffs, blindfold, anal beads). Overstimulation. Praise kink.

Dividers by @animatedglittergraphics-n-more!

Part of CandyCandy’s Kinkmas 2024!

Totally ripped from the hentai Eromame. I basically just rewrote it with Togame lol. I recommend giving it a watch! It’s very cute! And required yearly Christmas viewing for me!

It was just a joke, really. Just the Bofurin guys fooling around at their annual reunion/Christmas party. For some reason they always invited the guys from Shishitoren, and Togame always showed up. He brought drinks and passed them out, laughing when someone stuck a pair of reindeer antlers on Sakura’s head. 

Togame can’t remember who came up with the idea first, but someone joked that they should write letters to Santa. Most of the guys were half drunk by that point, so they all agreed. Some of them proudly read theirs out loud while the others cheered. Some very quickly ripped theirs up or threw them away. Maybe they asked for something a little too personal to share with the group. 

As for Togame, he wadded his up and crammed it in the pocket of his jacket, thinking he’d toss it when he got home. 

Now, standing in the kitchen of his small apartment, he fishes the crumpled letter out and smoothes it back out. He chuckles to himself as he reads it. 

“Dear Santa, please send me a cute girl to play with all night.”

He wads it up again and drops it into the trash. What a dumb joke. 

But it was at least a little sincere. Togame hasn’t had a girlfriend since his first year of college, and lately he’s been feeling a little lonely, and a lot horny. 

It’s probably because Choji of all people got himself a girlfriend earlier this year. And in true Choji fashion, he doesn’t know when to keep his mouth shut. He’s been bragging about all the sex he’s having with his hot girlfriend, and it’s only made Togame realize how much he misses being intimate with someone. 

It’s all he can think about the last few months, and he’s been jacking off like a teenager. 

He sighs as he takes off his jacket and gets ready to turn in for the night. It’s Christmas Eve, and he’ll be expected to visit his relatives tomorrow. 

Just as he starts to turn his lights off, he hears a thump on his balcony.

You squeeze past three people carrying loads of presents, your own arms full of brightly colored packages. You stack them in the pile next to the giant sleigh, there to be sorted and packed by other helpers. 

Someone calls your name, telling you to come to the office. You straighten your red, fur-trimmed dress and walk back into the main workshop. The office is a wide room in the back where the Wishlist Management team works. Three of them are behind a counter, reading over lists and letters while the rest are either sorting through last minute mail or relaying orders to the workshop. 

“Hello? Did you need me?” you ask, stepping into the room. 

The helper in the middle looks up from a crumpled piece of paper. “We have an unusual wish here. Would you be interested in granting it?”

“Me?” you ask, taking a seat across from the counter. You’re a standard helper, usually working on gift wrapping, sorting, or transporting. You don’t usually make gifts yourself, so actually granting wishes is a little out of your wheelhouse. 

The helper behind the counter looks a little embarrassed as he slides the piece of paper over to you. When you read it, you feel yourself blush. A cute girl to play with? You’re pretty sure he doesn’t mean board games. 

“Who wrote this?” you ask. Sometimes letters like this arrive from teenagers, and they’re always discarded. For the Management team to be taking it seriously means it has to be a sincere wish from an adult. 

The other helper slides a photo across the counter. “Togame Jo. Twenty-eight years old. Lives alone.”

You pick up the photo and look at this Togame fellow. To your surprise, he’s extremely good looking. In fact, he’s totally your type. Midnight black hair and kind emerald eyes. Wow. 

“Of course you’re free to say no,” the other helper says. “We can ask someone else if you’re uncomfortable with-“

“I’ll do it!” you say, cutting him off. 

He looks surprised. “Are you sure? You do know what he’s asking for, right?”

You nod. “I know. I’ll get some toys from the adult department and head on out. Thank you for bringing this wish to me!”

The other helper gives you an awkward smile and wave as you walk out the door. 

You’re not sure why, but you were instantly drawn to Togame when you saw his picture. It’s not just the lovely green eyes or the gentle smile. There’s something there, hidden just beneath his calm expression. A sadness, a loneliness, that touches your heart. You want to give him the best Christmas present ever.

When Togame pulls back the curtain from the glass door to his balcony, he’s not sure what to make of the scene before him. 

Outside, on his balcony, is a young woman sprawled out as if she’d fallen from the sky. 

He hurriedly opens the door and steps out into the cold, but before he can kneel down to check on her, the woman suddenly sits up. She rubs the back of her head and straightens her Santa hat, then looks up at him. 

“Oh, hello! You’re Togame Jo, right?”

Rendered momentarily speechless by this bizarre situation, Togame nods, then extends his hand to her and helps her to her feet. 

“Come inside,” he tells her, unsure of what else to say. It’s too cold to be standing around out here, especially in that short dress she’s wearing. 

Once inside his apartment, he gets a good look at her. She’s very pretty, with a cute Santa girl dress on. It’s candy apple red with white fur trim. There’s a cloth sack hanging from one arm. She’s looking at him with bright eyes and a smile. 

“How did you end up on my balcony?” he asks, shutting the glass door and closing the curtains. 

“The express sleigh dropped me off. I think they misjudged the distance a bit though,” she replies, still smiling. 

“Express sleigh?” The words make no sense to him. She doesn’t seem drunk. Is this some kind of Christmas prank? Before she can elaborate, he asks another question. “Who are you?”

“I’m your Christmas present!” she declares, doing a little curtsy. When Togame simply stares at her with a confused expression, she stands up straight and says, “You did ask for me, right? Someone to play with all night? We got your letter.”

Togame’s stunned face reddens. How did this woman he’s never met before know about his joke of a letter to Santa?! “I didn’t mail any letter,” he says, feeling a bit dazed at this point. He never even showed it to anyone.  

“Oh, that’s okay! Letters with sincere wishes make it to us even without being mailed,” she says cheerily. 

Togame picks up on something. “Us? Who do you work for?”

She giggles. “Isn’t it obvious? I’m one of Santa’s helpers!”

Wait. Is she saying Santa is real? And they somehow received his pervy letter?! And answered it?!

“Uh, that was just a joke,” he says, mortified that anyone saw the letter. 

“Really?” she asks. Why does she sound disappointed? She holds open her sack. “What a shame. I brought all these toys for us to play with.”

Togame can’t resist peeking inside. The sack is full of sex toys! Just at a glance he can see furry red handcuffs, candy cane striped dildos, and what appears to be vibrators. He feels heat creeping into his face as he looks back at her. 

“You’re really my present from Santa?” he asks. 

She smiles so sweetly at him. “Yes! And since you specified ‘all night long’, you have me until dawn. During that time, I’m yours to do whatever you want with!”

Togame swallows. “Whatever I want?”

“Yes!” she says enthusiastically. “So do you want your present?”

The man standing before you seems hesitant. He probably didn’t expect his wish to be granted. 

Togame is even better looking in person. He’s so tall! You really hope he still wants his present. You’ve been excited since you saw his picture, and now you’re practically dripping just from thinking about the things he could do to you.  

He scratches the back of his head awkwardly. “Are you sure about this?”

You nod emphatically. “Of course!”

He still seems a little unsure. It’s kind of endearing. But eventually he gives you a warm smile and says, “Let’s go to the bedroom then.”

Once there, you spread out the toys from your bag on his desk. He looks them over, glancing back at you every few seconds. 

“I can use anything I want?” he asks, picking up a huge dildo and sitting it back down. 

“That’s right,” you tell him, hoping he doesn’t notice the way your eyes gravitate to the small red bullet vibrators. This night is for him, not you. 

“Any preferences?” he asks, looking you in the eyes.  

You blush a little from the heat of his gaze, but shake your head. “I like all of them!”

He picks up the padded handcuffs with red fur trim. “Even these?”

You hold your wrists together. “Just tell me if you want them in front or behind.”

He seems to think for a moment, then says, “Behind.”

You turn around and hold your arms behind your back. You hear his soft footsteps as he approaches, feel the warmth of his body as he stands right behind you. Then, there’s the touch of his hands as he gently secures the cuffs on your wrists. 

When you turn back around to face him, his cheeks are slightly pink as he looks at you. With your arms pulled back, your tits are jutting out more prominently, your dress struggling to stay up and over them. 

He puts his hands on your shoulders, then slowly slides them down, pulling the straps of your dress down with them. Your breasts bounce free as the fabric slides down beneath them. Togame’s eyes widen slightly. He moves one hand up to cup your breast, then lightly squeezes. His thumb circles one nipple as his other hand gropes the other breast. 

You suck in a breath of air as he leans down and kisses your neck, his lips making a soft, wet trail down your collar bone and finally wrapping around a nipple, suckling lightly. 

He looks back to your face, seeing how flushed you’re getting, and ushers you over to the bed. He sits down on the edge of it and unbuttons his pants. 

“Can you get on your knees for me?” he asks, his tone still polite. 

You’re happy to oblige, dropping to your knees right in front of him, staring at his hands as they pull out a deliciously meaty cock. You lick your lips in anticipation, the handcuffs being the only thing stopping you from gripping his shaft immediately. You look up at him with your sweetest expression. 

“What do you want me to do, Jo?”

He blinks at the sudden use of his given name, perhaps a little flustered by how intimate you’re getting. But he recovers quickly, smiling down at you as he says, “Suck my cock, little Miss Santa.”

You don’t waste any time. You lean your face forward and begin licking the hard, thick organ, from base to tip. You make sure to get it nice and wet, coating it in spit before taking the entire thing into your mouth, letting it fill your throat. 

Togame shudders and grips your hair, his cock twitching in your mouth. Maybe he didn’t expect you to take him so far so quickly. 

For a moment, you pause, just letting him feel your throat constricting around him, your tongue massaging the underside of his dick. But eventually you have to breathe, so you pull back just to get some air, only to plunge him right back in. This time you wrap your lips around his base and bob your head, sucking and licking as you go. 

Togame groans, his fingers threading through your hair, holding you firmly in place. You couldn’t pull back enough to let his cock slip out of your mouth if you wanted to. But why would you ever want that? He’s positively tasty, and throbbing so nicely. Such delectable precum is leaking from his tip, sliding down your throat. 

When he reaches his limit, he pulls your head back, and you open your mouth wide, letting the tip of his pulsing cock rest on your extended tongue. As he cums, his entire hot sticky load lands on your tongue and in your mouth, filling it full. 

After savoring it for a moment, you swallow it all, then lick your lips clean. Togame stares for several seconds, his face a little red. You know what you want from him, but you won’t ask directly. Instead, you look up through your lashes and ask, “Did I do good?”

He takes the hint, patting your head and saying, “Yeah, you did really good. Such a good girl for me.”

The words leave you dripping. You squirm on your knees, rubbing your thighs together. Your hands are still behind your back, your dress still pulled down to nearly your waist. 

Togame stands up and goes to the desk to get something else to play with. When he returns, he helps you to your feet and then stands behind you. He reaches around and ties a deep red blindfold around your head, blocking out your vision. You draw in a sharp breath. This is getting exciting!

He guides you back to the bed, and you hear the mattress squeak as he sits down again. Then he turns you around to face away from him and pulls you into his lap. 

You listen carefully, trying to figure out what he’s going to do next. The mystery is making you nervous in the best way possible. You hear only faint sounds you can’t identify, then you feel something smooth and firm touch each of your nipples. Is this…?

A clicking sound, and then one that’s very familiar to you, one you’ve been hoping to hear. The soft hum of the small bullet vibrators! At the same moment, you feel them vibrating against your tender skin, making you automatically jerk on the cuffs. Togame must be holding them to your tits. 

You’re making little breathy sounds, not quite moans but close, leaning back against his hard chest, feeling the cozy fabric of his shirt on your bare back. He’s so warm. 

One vibrator leaves your breast, and you feel him sliding the bottom of your dress up your thighs and above your hips. Thankfully you came prepared and wore no panties tonight. 

He pulls one leg away from the other, and you move the other leg, eagerly spreading for him. Then you feel his fingers on you, stroking your pussy, slipping between the folds to smear your wetness around. 

“You’re soaked already,” he says into your ear. The feeling of his breath so close causes goosebumps to form on your neck. 

“I have been since I got here,” you say back, your voice shaky as his finger circles your clit but doesn’t touch it. 

“Really?” he asks. “Do you grant a lot of wishes like this?”

“This is my first one,” you answer. 

His voice is like a purr. “What kind of work do you usually do?”

His finger is so close to hitting the jackpot. You squirm a bit in his lap. “Ahh… I usually… wrap presents… and sort them…”

You hear him chuckle under his breath. “So why did you decide to do this?”

“Th-they showed me your picture… and you looked sad. I just wanted to give you a merry Christmas!”

There’s a pause, where he stops moving for a moment, then you hear his voice again: “I want to give you a merry Christmas too.”

Immediately after, you feel the vibrator pressed against your clit, pulsing wildly at maximum power. You cry out, your body jerking with the sudden explosive pleasure. 

You cum instantly, trembling in his arms, but he’s still holding the vibrator to your extremely sensitive clit. With your hands cuffed behind you and the blindfold on, it makes your sense of touch so much stronger, and you feel truly helpless in a way that thrills you. 

“Ahh! T-too much!” you whine, reflexively trying to scoot back. But the vibrator is relentless, and Togame’s grip on you is firm. 

“You’re so cute when you cum,” he says, his voice dripping honey. “Show me again.”

The words make your already overstimulated clit throb, and only a few minutes later, you’re cumming again. Your entire body is shaking as you moan, your hands pulling at the cuffs. 

“There you go, being so good,” he murmurs, finally pulling the vibrator away and wrapping his arms around you. He holds you tight until your body stops trembling, then eases you off his lap. He unties the blindfold and lets it slip from your face, but he leaves the cuffs on. 

You look up at him. “What toy are we trying next?”

He walks over to the desk and looks over the items, then holds up a long anal bead stick. The beads are in alternating colors, red and green, and made of silicone. “This looks fun,” he says. 

You climb onto the bed, carefully since your hands are behind you, and look at him over your shoulder. “Come play with me,” you say, wiggling your ass. Your dress is just a piece of wadded fabric around your waist at this point, leaving most of your body exposed. 

Togame steps over and gets onto the bed behind you, pushing your top half forward until your face is pressing into the pillow, your ass in the air. He nudges your knees apart, and you feel him drip lube over your ass, rubbing it in and spreading it over both your holes. You hear him squeezing more out, probably onto the beaded stick, and then you feel the tip of the stick pressing against your little puckered hole. 

When the first bead slides in, you gasp. You’ve never tried this toy before, but you’ve always wanted to. The second bead slides in, then the third. There’s no pain, but the sensation is strange. Two more beads go in, and your breaths are coming faster, your heart racing.

Togame watches his adorable Santa girl twitch and quiver as he pushes more beads into her, causing her dripping pussy to clench and flutter. He’s waited as long as he can. He needs to be buried in this pretty little cunt right now. 

He positions himself at her entrance, rubbing the tip along her slit to let her know what’s coming. Her hands, cuffed behind her, are balled into fists. When ready, he pushes in, going all the way to the hilt and hearing her gasp. She’s so unbelievably tight, he almost gasps too. Maybe it’s because of the beads, but she’s clamping down on him so well he can hardly stand it. 

When he starts thrusting, she makes the sweetest sounds, little cries and moans that dance into his ears, occasionally whimpering his name. 

“Taking me so well,” he says, his hands gripping her hips to keep her in place as he plunges in and out. “Good, good girl.”

She feels so fucking good around him, so soft and warm and pliable. And she’s taking him so deep with no complaints. It’s like she was made for him. 

He reaches down and grips the handle of the bead stick, then begins pulling it out by a few beads before pushing it back in. Her pussy clenches, as if it’s trying to hold onto his dick forever. 

All at once, he pulls the whole stick out in one go. She cries out, her back arching and her mouth hanging open. He thinks she just came again, and it’s making her squeeze him impossibly hard. 

He can’t hold back any longer. This pussy is just too good. With a groan, he cums, shooting everything he has into the deepest parts of her. When he eventually pulls out, gobs of his cum leak out of her, making a lurid sight to see. 

They both pant for a few moments, then he uncuffs her hands and helps her turn over.  

She’s gazing up at him with her big, pretty eyes. “What do you want to play with next?”

She looks exhausted, spent, but she’s still willing to keep going. He’d specified “all night” after all. 

“Let’s take a quick break,” he says. 

They sit beside each other on the bed, and he asks the question that’s been burning in his brain for a while now. 

“After tonight is over, will I ever see you again?”

She looks up at him. “You can if you wish for it!” She seems happy he asked. 

He smiles. “Maybe next year I’ll wish for a wife.”

She flushes, looking away to hide her embarrassment. “That sounds lovely,” she says. 

He wraps one arm around her. “You’ve made this the best Christmas of my life.”

She snuggles closer. “And you’ve done the same for me.”

The two of them sit there a little while, just enjoying each other’s presence, before going back to enjoying each other’s presents.

Tag List:

@coldluminarykoala @atomicweaselpaperapricot @chocoyanchan @calculust-prime

[yourlocalcryptidbee]

⭐NSFW Alphabet with Lucifer Morningstar

Good old NSFW Alphabet with our favourite duck man. Grab some snacks and a beverage, get comfy and enjoy <3

Template can be found here

~1.4k words

GN! Reader, mentions of makeup Want the SFW one? Find it here!

Content Warning: NSFW, not proof read

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

He’s attentive to your needs. The literal king of aftercare, whatever you want he can provide. A bath? You got it. Cuddles? A snack? A walk in the garden? Hell, more sex? You got it!  

B = Body part (their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He likes his tongue, plain and simple. The power he has over you with it is his favourite thing. Watching how you squirm just because of this one part of him, he’s ready to blow a load just thinking about it! You on the other hand, oh he’s tied between your thighs and your chest. The way your legs shake just that little bit when he’s doing something right? Or the way your chest HEAVES after you cum? It’s too good! 

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Would eat your cum breakfast, lunch and dinner if given the chance. And trust, he’s tried to do that on multiple occasions. You stop him, saying something about having a “balanced diet” whatever that means…  

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Lucifer fantasizes about you riding him during a meeting. He’s caught himself thinking about you sitting on his lap, while he’s on the throne, bouncing up and down restlessly like your soul depends on it. He’ll sit and envision what everyone else’s reaction would be, although he isn’t the biggest fan of sharing so maybe this will have to stay a fantasy…until he can learn to hold that many clones of himself that is (;

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

This man has been around since before the creation of humanity, over 10,000 years! At least 8,000 of those years having sex with either Lilith or Eve. So yes, Lucifer knows what he’s doing, and he knows he knows that he’s good at it. It’s named ‘The devil’s tango’ for a reason ya’ll. 

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Spooning or really anything where all of him is pressed into all of you. He just wants to hold you, whatever position that may be. He may be sexy but he is still damaged, and this is vulnerable. Just let him lay all his lovin on you ok? 

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Depends heavily on the foreplay, but on average he’ll start a lil goofy and turn more serious as the act goes on. But always be ready for a wayward joke here and there. Sometimes it’s just too good to pass up! (just like how having sex with you is too good to pass up)

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He’s kept himself surprisingly well-groomed after his seven-year isolation. It’s trim and orderly the first time you see it, though it doesn’t matter that much because it’s such a pale blonde, that it’s basically invisible.  

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

My God, this man is bursting at the seams with love for you. His heart swells so much that it starts to hurt when he thinks about how he gets to participate in such a vulnerable and personal thing like sex with you. The most hated being in creation and you willing run into his trap, arms open and ready to envelop him in pleasure. Even if you can’t see it in his face or his words during the moment, he is always just so thankful that you could love him like this. 

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

At least once a day. He can’t help himself, plus he doesn’t have much going on most days sooo why not? No one’s stopping him, well you might but that's just cause you would rather help him than let him do it on his own.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

It is Lucifer, he’s got the words ‘corruption kink’ written on his goddamn head. (attached to the neck or the shaft, dealer’s choice) Like dirty talk is a lot of ‘What would your Father Even think of you now? On your knees for me? Hm? Darling, I can’t hear you~’. They want him to be the antichrist? Fine. Spread your legs and give him until the sun rises and he’ll show just how cruel he can be. 

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

His Throne, it’s the one place where he knows that no other person could even sit, let alone have sex on. This is the Sin of Pride, of course, his favourite place is centred around his power. 

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

When you call him yours, my king, my love, my slut. The little choice in wording that shows that you understand just how much of his heart you own, and that is all of it by the way. 

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

While you’ve never done this because you understand, it turns him off real quick if you bring up his past love, Lilith. They’ve been divorced for years and he’s moved on but still, it rubs him the wrong way if you were to ask if ‘Lilith could fuck you like this, if she could love you like this or make you moan the way I do?’ Just No.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

10s 10s 10s all across the board! 

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Again, depends on the foreplay but also how his depression is. If he is slipping into or is in another episode than its all sweet nothings, slow and romantic. If not than he’s more willing to go as fast as your body can handle. 

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Lucifer rathers to not have quickies but it happens. To him, it feels like he can’t make sure that you’re both getting what you want and he’d rather sell his soul to Alastor than leave you unsatisfied because of a goddamn time constraint. 

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He may be skeptical but he’ll try it. You got to try to know if you’ll like it. Plus you got quite the funny story from failed attempts at some things but that's part of the fun aint it?

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He’s the Devil from the Bible! Lucifer is quite literally otherworldly, his stamina doesn’t run out, it’s allllllll on how long you hold on for, baby. 

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Not the biggest fan of toys but if your adamant, he’ll give them a go again. Although ropes will always be on the table for him (;

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

A constant tease! All day, every day honey. He thrives when teasing you but as soon as the tables turn he is melting like that! That being said, he’s learnt to be careful with how much he teases you, least he want a repeat of that day at that gala, and seeing as Ozzie still makes fun of him for it, he’d rather not. 

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

His bedroom is soundproof. That’s explanation enough.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He loves it when you leave markings on him, scratches, bites, hickeys or d) all of the above. Don’t get him started on when your lipstick stains his face or clothes. Minimum 30% of all of his shirts have a crisp kiss mark on the collar and Lucifer wouldn’t have it any other way.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Matches the rest of him pretty well, on the thin side as well as a blinding white colour while hitting a comfortable 7.8 inches. He knows exactly how to use it too. No wonder Lilith felt like That Bitch. 

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Need it being said? His sex drives rivals that of Angel Dust. Don’t start something you can’t finish.  

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

If the two of you aren’t cuddling then he doesn’t fall asleep until it’s almost sunrise. If you do snuggle up on him then it’s lights out real quick. That mix of sex, your shampoo and your body against his is his ultimate melatonin. 

[s1llysmut]

NSFW Alphabet for Lucifer

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

He is immediately asking you if you need anything, getting you water, snacks, running you both a bath, cuddles. Surprisingly if you take a bath with him it won’t lead to more sex unless you initiate it. Don’t get me wrong, he loves having sexy time with you but he also loves those intimate moments after sex.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favourite body part of himself is probably his tongue. He considers himself quite talented when it comes to oral. His favourite body part of yours is definitely your thighs. He LOVES to squeeze them and have his head between them.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He LOVES to cum inside of you. He literally begs you for it every single time.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He loves to be pegged. Honestly is that really a secret though?

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He is extremely experienced. I mean come on this is the king of hell we’re talking about, of course he knows what he’s doing! How else did he pull Lilith AND Eve?!

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

He loves missionary because he can see your beautiful face but he also loves being ridden. He just loves when you use him.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He definitely allows himself and you to be goofy. However if it’s your first time together and you laugh at a mistake he makes he might get a little insecure.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He doesn’t shave but he does keep it well trimmed. It’s blonde like his hair.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He is extremely romantic. He is such a sap I swear to god. He would unironically do those cliche rose petals and candles. Don’t laugh at him okay? He’s trying to be a good partner.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

I have a feeling he gets morning wood like every single damn morning so I feel like he masturbates mostly in the mornings. Only if you’re not there to help him though.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

He loves being praised. He’s a sucker for it. Tell him he’s making you feel good and he’ll fold entirely. BUT he also likes being degraded to a degree. Call him a good little slut and he’ll die.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Anywhere literally anywhere.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Praise, teasing touches, slight degradation, whispering in his ear, etc.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Knife play. He doesn’t wanna hurt you ever. No matter how much you reassure him it would still make him way too anxious.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He loves when you suck him off but he also loves eating you out/sucking you off. He loves your thighs wrapped around his head and as I said before he’s very skilled with his tongue.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

That depends on what you want. He however prefers to go slow and sensual. He wants to feel every inch of you.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He doesn’t mind them however he does prefer to take his time with you.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Yes he will definitely take risks. He’s a sucker for you so he’s willing to try pretty much anything if it’ll make you happy.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He can go probably quite a few rounds. I’m thinking maybe 5? He likes being overstimulated.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He probably owns a dildo and a fleshlight for himself when you’re not around.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He might tease you a little bit but like I said, he’s down bad for you, anything you ask you will receive.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

If he’s dominant he’ll be moaning and grunting , some panting here and there too. However, if he’s the submissive, he is full on whimpering and whining.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He would 100% let you step on him. He loves when you’re dominant so much.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

He’s thickkkk. He’s about 7 or 8 inches long too. You’re in for a longgggg night.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

He has a fairly high sex drive. He likes doing it daily soooo good luck.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

As soon as he’s sure you’re comfortable and content, he’ll cuddle up and sleep with you.

[einsatzzz]

EMERGENCY ‼️‼️‼️‼️ THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE HAS BEGUN 🧟‍♂️🧟‍♂️🧟‍♂️🧟‍♂️ How well do you think your character would fare in a zombie apocalypse, on a scale of "zombie lunch" to "zombie apocalypse mastermind"? What would be the most epic zombie-killing weapon they could find in a nearby hardware store? A pitchfork? A lumberjack's chainsaw? Would they rather become a zombie and join the horde or take their chances as a human survivor?

you can choose any character to answer!

‼️🌹Maid vs 🧟Zombies‼️

Who will win?! Get ready for the ultimate death battle of the centu--

Anyway! I'm so sorry this took so long Mel lxbxskdhsmbds but thank you for sending this ask, because I love Res/ident Ev/il & Pro/ject Zom/boid & zombie(/horror) games in general = I love scenarios like these = I wanted to make a full color art for it. But it's not that clean so don't zoom in too much hahaha it can still pass as a CG in a way!

I actually drew this for maid day, but I didn't have the energy to type an answer or post mdbdmdbdd So here we are! This will be quite LONG, because I'm not joking, I have a special place reserved for this in my brain hahaha (I tried to trim it down, but alas...I needed to type out the movie that's playing in my mind.)

In General (+ Skills & Weapons)

How she would fare: Right off the bat and all in all, Rosa would be a survivor, and would even be the type to lead others to safety & protect others from harm. This is in consideration of her wide range of skills, from combat to support (She's an all-arounder; in game terms, she would be a Sub-DPS/Support).

Combat Skills: Rosa is trained for combat ever since she was a young child and is even considered the "cream of the crop" in her own "batch". She's even the protege of Oniyanagi 8th Gen's strongest guardian (and overall Head of Ninomiya Estate Staff).

Support Skills: Besides combat, her mentor also trained her in other areas like management, housekeeping (cooking, etc.) & some basic medical knowledge.

Weapon: She doesn't really need to find any weapon when she already has it on hand after all! We haven't finalized the name and little details for it yet, but as already mentioned before, her main weapon is a scythe that can be disguised as a mop. She also has a back-up firearm, but that's up for finalization as well.

Any survivor group would find her to be a great asset to have, but of course, she will only follow her masters to the end 😌✨

The first section above is the actual answer to the question. The section below is just pure scenario brainrot word vomit. I don't know where to put it, so it will go here. Feel free to skip. The con is that it's long, the pro is that you become more familiar with my dearest beloved Rosa.

Zombie Outbreak Events

Beginning of the Outbreak: When shit hit the fan, I immediately imagined her being out on an errand by herself in the middle of the day to do some grocery shopping. This is honestly really bad because this means she's in the shopping district where there are a lot of foot traffic. It would be very easy to get surrounded if you don't act fast and find a safe place. Fortunately, Rosa does exactly that. Of course, not everything goes as planned. She would prefer to go back to the estate as soon as she can, but on her way, she really can't just ignore any surviving civilians that are screaming for help. As the head maid of the estate and as Oniyanagi's Rain Guardian, she technically should focus on her duties for the Family. But as someone who wanted to be a maid from the pure desire of becoming someone people relied on, she can't really outright ignore these people when they're right in front of her suffering like this.

During the Outbreak: As a result, she ended up helping with finding a safe place for these people that she saved. She saved their lives, so they're her responsibility now (at least that's how she saw it). I think in scenarios, I think being able to take refuge and form a barricade around an establishment like a grocery store (with food supplies) or maybe even a konbini would be the way to go. Once they secure a place like this, that's when she'll start planning forward on how she'll get back to the estate. With her fellow survivors, of course. She won't abandon them easily and she's sure that her masters would take them in. In her head, the estate would be the safest place in Namimori right now due to its secluded location. She'd also be thinking of her other Family members (and her biological family as well), but she has complete faith in all of their skills to survive this bizarre situation. Except, probably maybe Shiki & Hiyori, since they're not that good in close combat. Aaaand maybe Minato as well, he's strong but also quite reckless and idiotic a lot of times. Ok, maybe her faith in all of them is not *that* complete, but she has *some* faith in them at least. All the more reason to return as soon as possible to confirm their status. Besides that, she doesn't really know how long she can do self-maintenance on herself without Yui's help. If she lets her guard down and let all these risks pile up, it could prove very fatal. If she were to end up staying barricaded there for a few days, I can imagine the others looking up to her as some kind of kind, compassionate and perfect leader. But that positive outlook would soon be cut short, if one of them gets bitten in the arm. Rosa won't hesitate to cut that arm off on the spot to stop the infection from spreading. She'd look at them with that same reassuring face telling them that if she hadn't done so, it would be that person's head that would be cut off. This decision was made with their survival in mind. Losing a limb or two won't matter, as long as you are still alive and breathing. That's her resolve. Fortunately, she has Rain Flames! 🥰 It can't heal like Sun Flames can but it can definitely slow down the bleeding.

Moving Forward: At some point, she'd be able to reunite with her Family. It's either Rosa was able to successfully return to the estate with the survivors, or the others went to retrieve her instead or perhaps they even reunite in the middle of it. There is NO WAY, they're leaving her out there for too long, esp KanaRumi‼️ That's their Shayla‼️ (as much as Rosa wants her masters to rely on her instead). As for the mastermind...if at some point, Rosa had any frustrations towards the person/group who could've caused this much chaos...if...hypothetically speaking, if it happened to be Oniyanagi's fault then...She would change gears and switch up so fast, of course! Naturally! Everyone makes mistakes! It's ok to give second chances! She'd gladly help with the clean up! (lmao, ok Certified KanaRumi stan)

[sngl-led-auto-lights]

Why don't cars have a dash board warning light alerting you when a taillight or headlight is out? You normally don't know until you get pulled over by a cop. Even if you check them before each trip they sometimes burn out while on the trip.

The absence of universal dashboard warnings for burnt-out exterior lights (headlights, taillights, etc.) is a mix of cost, design priorities, and technological limitations—but solutions exist. Here’s why most cars lack this feature and what drivers can do:

Why Most Cars Don’t Warn You Cost-Cutting by Manufacturers:

Adding a monitoring system for every bulb requires additional wiring, sensors, and software, which automakers often omit to keep prices low, especially in budget vehicles.

Example: A $20 circuit to detect bulb failures adds up to millions in production costs across a car model’s lifespan. Simpler Electrical Systems:

Older cars use basic circuits where a burnt bulb doesn’t disrupt the electrical flow (unlike a blown fuse). Modern CAN bus systems can detect failures but aren’t always programmed to alert drivers. Assumption of Manual Checks:

Manufacturers assume drivers will notice via:

Reflections (e.g., light bouncing off garage walls).

Dashboard icons for specific systems (e.g., brake light warnings tied to the brake pedal circuit). Regulatory Gaps:

The U.S. doesn’t mandate bulb-out warnings, though the EU requires rear light failure alerts in newer cars (via ECE Regulation 48).

Cars That Do Have Warnings Luxury/Modern Vehicles: Brands like BMW, Mercedes, and Tesla include bulb monitoring systems in higher trims.

LED Lighting: Many EVs and hybrids with full LED setups (e.g., Ford Mustang Mach-E) self-diagnose faults since LEDs rarely fail abruptly.

Aftermarket Kits: Products like LightGuardian (50–100) plug into taillight circuits and trigger an alarm if a bulb dies.

Why Bulbs Burn Out Mid-Trip Halogen Bulbs: Prone to sudden failure due to filament vibration or temperature swings.

Voltage Spikes: Poor alternator regulation can surge power, killing bulbs.

Moisture/Corrosion: Water ingress in housings causes shorts over time.

Practical Solutions for Drivers Retrofit Your Car:

Install LED bulbs with built-in failure alerts (e.g., Philips X-tremeUltinon).

Use Bluetooth-enabled bulb holders (e.g., Lumilinks) that notify your phone. Routine Checks:

Nightly Reflection Test: Park facing a wall and check light patterns.

Monthly Buddy Check: Have someone press brakes/turn signals while you inspect. Legal Workarounds:

In regions requiring annual inspections (e.g., EU, Japan), mechanics flag dead bulbs.

Use dual-filament bulbs for redundancy (e.g., a brake light that still works as a taillight if one filament fails).

Why It’s Likely to Improve LED Adoption: Longer-lasting LEDs (25,000+ hours) reduce failure rates.

Smart Lighting: New cars with matrix LED or laser lights often self-diagnose.

Consumer Demand: Aftermarket alerts (e.g., $30 Wireless Car Light Monitor) are gaining traction.

Bottom Line

While universal bulb-out warnings aren’t standard yet, technology and regulations are catching up. Until then, proactive checks and affordable aftermarket gadgets can save you from a traffic stop. 🔧💡

Pro tip: If your car has automatic headlights, toggle them to “off” occasionally to manually check all lights in a reflection.

[gallavich-annise]

Shameless Rewatch Thoughts!

May I Trim Your Hedges 

I can't decide how I feel about this episode. It's another one that has some iconic Gallavich moments in, and the other plots do A to B neatly, while setting up continuing storylines and arcs. The plot with Kev's wife is very effective. And it's a rare episode where it felt like every character got a fair showing... The only underserved mains being Sheila and Jody, who are far from my favourites.

But it has some more awful, atrocious Frank. I'm not sure how I feel about the plot with the pedophile ex-teacher. And I didn't like the time spent with Jimmy and Estefania. 

So let's just jump in, starting with Kev and V.

Last episode ended with V coming to stay with Fiona. This one starts with Fiona coming downstairs to find V awake on the sofa. Implying this is the day after. V is sad, thinking Kev had a look on his face about Cheryl, his wife. She's feeling insecure about it. Fiona is supportive and it's kinda sweet... Basically she says she needs to talk to Kev. Which is generally good advice. So V does. Because Kev and V in general are not the kind to extend drama for longer than necessary, which is something I really love about them. 

So V goes home. She makes a comment to Kev about his ex breaking him and she put him back together... And I can make it work if I squint, given they've probably talked more about it, but that wording almost feels like an attempt to retcon the fact that V didn't know about Cheryl until season 1 and the fake wedding. So V may have fixed Kev, but she wouldn't have known that at the time! 

Cheryl is obnoxious in an excellently slimy way. I don't like her as a person, we're obviously meant to dislike her, but I do think she's well done as a character. The abusive ex. She knows how to push Kev's buttons, and how to make V feel insecure. She brings out all the in-jokes. It's obvious she wants him back... Which raises two questions. First, how did she find him? Second, how long has she known where he was? Was this a spur of the moment thing when she found out where he was, or a Plan? Cos the kid implies a plan... It's unclear how much Kyle is in on it... He clearly knows she isn't his mum, so what has Cheryl told him about this whole thing? And Kev maybe being his Dad? 

It's all a bit clumsy, because the kid isn't written as being super on board with Cheryl's bullshit. By the end he refuses to get in a car with her. But he doesn't say "actually you can't be my dad" or refute Cheryl's saying she's his mum... So either she span the kid the same lies and he believed them, which is possible... Or he was paid to keep quiet (also possible, nay even more likely). But at the end, the framing didn't give any sign we were supposed to find Kyle unsympathetic, and it never explains either way how much of a participant he was. 

There are some good moments along the way, though. I liked when Kev talked about her abuse, both with V when they're talking about why he didn't stand up to her the previous night, and when he talks to Cheryl about an incident that she laughs about and he says "I don't remember it being funny". It's effective at showing that he's very aware of how bad the relationship was. But the atmosphere when they're talking about whether the kid is his is good, because it leaves just enough doubt to be a little bit of tension with respect to his relationship with V.

But as I said... Kev and V drama seldom lasts long. We have a lovely moment where V says she can't stand in the way of Kev getting to know his kid because then she'd be asking him to give up one of the things she loves about him. And Fiona is just "oh hell no" and goes to confront him. And Kev is like "who's talking about leaving Veronica? I'm not leaving Veronica!" And we get another lovely moment of that when he finds V at the Gallagher house a bit later and says "of course I'm gonna get to know my kid but I wouldn't leave you, you have to know that." And it's so sweet and so lovely that even the characters there start crying. It's a beautiful moment. And I didn't even hate the switch to comedy a few moments later where Cheryl charges in, pissed that her scheme to get Kev back apparently hasn't worked and everyone laughs at her and then V fights her into signing the divorce papers. 

I mean, it was funny. I'm pretty sure that counts as "coercion" and might be legally dodgy, but it was funny. Hey maybe that even explains why Kev says he needs to get Cheryl to sign divorce papers again in season 11. Because it couldn't be that the writers forgot about it. Oh no.

Next I'm gonna go to Jimmy.

This was a stupid plot and I hated it. They go off and get Estefania a wedding dress and take some fake wedding pictures for the INS applications. 

There's some stuff with Este going bridezilla that is supposed to be funny, but I didn't find it funny. She rants about the dress. She's mean about another bride's choice of bridesmaid dress when they do a weird photo bomb thing to give them legit looking photos. 

Still Estefania has no personality to speak of. She's got way too much screentime for the lack of personality. It's so vexing! What does she want? Is she just going along with her dad's wishes, or does she have goals of her own? How does she feel about Jimmy Steve, or his thing with Fiona? Or Marco's death?

The only goal we see her work towards on her own is... Horny goals. Apparently thinking about weddings makes her so horny she needs to borrow Jimmy Steve's hand. And, first... Again with the sexual assault on men, what the fuck Shameless?! Second, while Jimmy Steve is verbally very clear with his no, it is unclear to me how firmly she is holding his hand, and thus whether he could have just... Removed it. And, don't get me wrong, it's awful of her either way and it's not his fault... But from this fictional scene's POV, and with foreknowledge of how he reacts in a later scenario with her, it is unclear to me how much we're supposed to assume he is unwilling and how much is him making a show. In real life, people react in all kinds of ways, and I'm sure many men would just freeze. But the narrative and framing of this scene (ie: it being treated as a joke, again, wtf Shameless) makes it seem like the show is trying to tell me that maybe he secretly wanted it. Which... Absolutely fuck that. But the messaging is definitely not a resounding "Jimmy Steve was sexually assaulted and didn't want it and that's bad". So that made me a bit cross.

Also, it's irrelevant compared to the above, but part of the joke is that she seems to be using the splint from him broken finger, rather than his actual finger? Which is kind of a different kind of WTF. 

Anyway, Beto does a whole speechy bit where it sounds like he thinks Jimmy should have and could have put up more of a fight and thus he was being unfaithful to Fiona. Which just adds to me irritation about what the show was going for, because I feel like maybe they're using Beto to guide the audience opinion. And, yeah, I'm not on lying asshole Jimmy Steve's side for most of this, but this is definitely not the thing I'll be lambasting him for. 

That's most of his plot. The other bits we get are an excellent scene where Lip realises Jimmy Steve is being cagey and challenges him, but talks himself out of pressing because he monologues that Jimmy can't tell him because he'd have to tell Fiona and that would upset her and their "fragile peace". And the scene was funny, I enjoyed Lip's monologue and Jimmy's faces. But as her brother, I feel like he should tell her there's something to know, even if he doesn't say what. Like, "your boyfriend is acting cagey. No idea why, but maybe talk to him". The fact that Lip doesn't is an example of a Gallagher phenomenon that comes up every so often where they are almost too willing to let each other make obviously horrific mistakes. Without even commenting on it. It's used for comedy more often than not, like here, but it's an interesting character point as well. Just the levels of minding their own business while their siblings fuck up in a way that is obvious to others even if not to the person fucking up. Where a sibling being supportive but saying "hey maybe don't do this thing that's going to massively fuck everything up" would be useful! 

So anyway, Lip keeps his own counsel and does not tell Fiona that her boyfriend's being cagey. Jimmy Steve does not tell Fiona about the web of lies he's been spinning for reasons that I still have trouble with. Because telling her the truth would make her angry but given how much effort he went to to regain her trust about the lying, it seems odd that he wouldn't twig that maybe the lying is the problem?! Whatever, he continues to lie. That is his schtick, I guess.

Which should make it all the more poignant at the end of the episode when Fiona does her "I trust you, that's bigger than I love you" thing at the end of this episode. And I just kind of wanted to scream at her. But mostly at him. Because there's the look on his face of "what have I got myself into" as if he had any choice. And yeah, he made loads of bad decisions to get into the situation with Este, but he can't undo those so he's just going to lie about the ongoing consequences. And Fiona knew about most of them and what he did that they thought would get him out of it... So why not tell her that "actually that didn't work can you help me with this now". Ugh.

I need to stop ranting about Jimmy Steve and move on to the next bit. 

Let's go to Debbie next. Little baby Debbie sees a guy jerking off on the city bus. It's awful and she obviously finds it fairly traumatic. Her family are sympathetic. They talk to the cops (who predictably don't seem able to do anything). And she gets treats with Lip and Mandy. Mandy teaches her some self-defense (useful, even if it probably wouldn't have helped much in this case). And then she goes to the park with Kyle and they get on and have a sweet moment and a little kiss. It's kind of cute... He seems sweet enough there, and their little moment is just that. He's gone by the end of the episode, at this is really just another moment of Debbie having a crush (little Hank is presumably long gone at this point. I assume in juvie). 

I don't know for sure, but I think this is also the only time in the whole series we see Debbie with a cigarette. She kind of pretends to smoke, but Kyle says it's more rebellious not to and she admits that she doesn't smoke. Given that the show is possibly responsible for at least one nicotine addiction, I kind of appreciated that Carl and Debbie didn't start smoking when they got older. That's by the by. 

I don't have a whole lot more to say on Debbie. The flasher on the bus thing is awful and she shouldn't have to see that... But it's another thing where there is too much going on for them to help her in a meaningful way. She gets the most help from a literal stranger kid who then kisses her! Not saying there's anything wrong with Kyle or that scene... It's just consistently sad that Debbie doesn't get the support she needs to deal with the life they lead. 

So while we're on the younger Gallaghers, I'll go to Frank and Carl.

This is a "Frank is reprehensible with kids" episode, and it bugged the fuck out of me. There is also more of "Kate the bartender is alarmingly unwilling to act on things she sees" and I can't decide whether that's supposed to be a character trait or if it's just lazy writing. Kate feels like she could be an interesting character but she's really just background at this point. She's a minor character and isn't driving plots so it's less annoying than with Estefania, but it does raise the question of what she's even there for? Is she just there to point out that Frank is doing something reprehensible, as if we couldn't work that out for ourselves? Or is it because we'd have more of a reaction if Kev witnessed this stuff and did nothing about it? I think the latter is probably it... We needed to see Frank do these things and have a conversation about it, but Kev would have told someone and that would not allow the plot to continue in the direction the writers wanted. Which is lazy writing, probably, but at least it's an explanation. 

That was getting ahead a bit... The reprehensible action on this occasion was stealing the money Sheila gave Frank to take Hymie for his vaccinations and poking the kid with a thumb tack to make it look like he'd done it. He at least sterilizes it in whiskey? But Kate calls it out as child abuse and does nothing. And they have a conversation about vaccinations and Frank going on an anti-vax bullshit rant that I'm not even sure he believes. I personally think he isn't thinking further than the money, and he's just spewing talking points to get people off his back. I don't think he has strong anti-vax opinions he's just lazy and doesn't care enough about doing the right thing. It's bullshit but everyone gives up arguing with him because they realise there's no point. Again, Kate could tell Kev, who knows Sheila. Or something. But she doesn't. 

Instead, Frank sees a local news story about a kid who got to meet a Chicago sportsball team through a make-a-wish type charity. There's a comment about how much a t-shirt signed by the whole team would make on eBay and he is instantly seeing dollar signs because he is caring for a kid with Downs right? So shouldn't he be able to cash in? That's lifelong, not like cancer. Fuck you, Frank. 

Anyway, when he finds out that the foundation only does stuff for kids who are dying, he quickly sidesteps and says his other kid is dying. 

And this is where Frank convinces Carl he's got cancer and shaves his head. So this plot works for Frank; he's used Carl this way before, I completely get it. And I know we're supposed to believe that Carl is a bit slow on the uptake... But it stretched my credulity a lot that Carl would just believe Frank on this and that he wouldn't know that he'd at least need to see a doctor?! 

But for whatever reason, Carl trusts him, even when he lies to Lip about why he's shaving Carl's head. And Lip is suspicious, but kind of just brushes it off. I guess he thinks that if Frank is willing to shave Carl's head to get rid of lice, fine. 

I hate this for Carl, I really do. It's played for laughs, and Ethan Cutkosky is a wonderful comedic actor who's really good at playing it straight to make it funnier. But I still feel massively for the kid who's been told by his dad that he night be dying! 

That said, the line at the end of that scene where Carl looks in the mirror and says "I'm gonna look like a penis" and Frank looks and goes "we'll get you a hat" was pretty hilarious. Great faces from both of them in that moment.

They go to the make a wish place and Frank gives Carl even more trauma by saying he might not have a year to live. And the woman gets Carl into a camp! And Carl is legit adorably excited about that. His whole family is bemused about why Frank would do that for him, not realising that it was a scam attempt that didn't pan out. And I guess Frank can't sell his camp place so he just goes with it. It's a nice twist for Carl, and I quite liked that as a resolution for that thread where Frank doesn't get what he wants out of treating his kids as pawns.

I guess next I should go to Lip... Strictly I probably should have followed up from Debbie by going to Lip but I didn't want to. I kind of still want to, but I have Lip, Fiona and Ian left and I'm saving Ian for last. 

So Lip. 

After Debbie's experience on the bus, Lip decides to look up how many sexual offenders there are in their area and finds a bunch, including one just a couple of blocks down. So he gathers a posse.

Now... I get this for Shameless. And I get that this kind of thing probably happens. There is a lot of unpack and I don't think Shameless treats the issue seriously enough to really deserve me giving it as much thought as I want to. This is one of those instances where Shameless is putting events on the TV in front of you and letting you make up your own mind about it. And I'm so here for that in general, but part of me wants to go off about carceral systems and rehabilitation and the fact that the one does not (in its current form) allow the other. It's all just... A lot. I would not be okay with them having beaten a sex offender with bats if it had been a guy, and I'm not really okay with a woman rapist being used as a joke once again.

There are some moments that I found funny but as soon as I delve into the details my brain kind of short circuits. Then there is the one attempt made to have a conversation about it where the posse (which includes Terry Milkovich, for irony reasons) breaks up and Lip talks to Ian about her still being a pedophile despite being a woman. Ian defends her, because of his relationship with Kash, which he thinks is unproblematic despite how it ended. And Lip says he should have called the cops and almost did... which I still consider to be a bit of a retcon to Lip done for this plot and no other reason. Though I don't remember how Lip reacts to Ned-Lloyd later, so maybe they do keep it up a little bit (I know he definitely doesn't call the cops on Ned, so he's bad at putting his money where his mouth is). 

The discussion is kind of interesting, with Ian still being convinced that what happened was fine. I feel like that's accurate... No one has dealt with the Kash situation reasonably up to now. Even here, Lip's approach is clumsy, which is fine as he is only a 17yo boy himself. We're not expecting him to have fully actualized abilities to help his little brother with trauma. 

Then for whatever reason Lip decides it's Up To Him to prove that this woman is a garden variety pedophile and she should be in jail. Which... Going back to my earlier point there I'm not going to talk about rehabilitation and the carceral system. It's a difficult problem, I get that... We need to protect the vulnerable first and foremost. I don't think Lip's plan to get her sent back to jail will necessarily achieve that. 

But anyway, we get his attempt to tempt the teacher, Blake. Trimming her hedges and showing off his abs and asking for a drink and a sandwich and letting her correct his grammar. It's all very... Shameless (the show not the adjective). I don't really know how else to put it. It's obvious and it's plausible and it's weird and it's darkly amusing and it's horrible all at the same time. 

It seems that Lip initially intended to get the picture of her kissing him and then run. But she gives him one more come on line and he caves. With no apparent self-awareness.

And the messaging of the episode is weird and twisted, because there's this implicit tone of it being okay because Lip really does know what he's doing? It was his plan all along, kinda. But he's still 17. Just as it wasn't okay for Frank to lust after Karen (before she raped him), this is not okay. And oh look, once again it's that sexual assault by women. For the second time in one episode. Third if you count Cheryl's abuse... the implication is that that was physical and emotional abuse rather than sexual, but I think it falls in the same category of "yes, thank you Shameless, we get it, women can be awful too".

We get the very strange sex scene with the Nair and the peanut butter and it's all very odd and uncomfortable viewing and it's played for laughs and... I don't really know what to think or feel or say about it really. I want to move on so I'm going to. 

Later, Lip is trying to apply the peanut butter thing to Mandy, who tries to turn it around on him and discovers his newly depilated pubic area, and... Well. First, Lip goes "it's not my fault she's a pedophile" and... Yes, the onus is very much on the older woman to not sleep with the teenager. But Lip did go there explicitly to seduce her/let her seduce him, so I feel like this is a tiny bit disingenuous. And Mandy goes from "watching porn without me is cheating" to "I'm gonna destroy this other woman" without even considering that point. And given the timbre of the rest of the episode it all felt a little bit like the previous incidents where partners go after the person they're partner cheated with rather than the partner. Which is another very Shameless thing (not exclusively, but... They do it a few times).

Mandy goes full Milkovich and gets Blake to move out by having Iggy and unnamed Milkovich dig a grave. I love her attitude and her follow-through even if I don't love the plot here. 

Overall the plot is well performed, the arc is reasonable, it is more coherent than a lot of Shameless plots, and it leaves me staring at it and wondering what I think about the whole thing.

Which let's be honest is why I have a side blog for Shameless where I post way way way too much, rather than my other other tv obsessions where I watch and enjoy and then move on with my life.

This episode really has a shit tonne going on... Still two more minor subplots to go. 

Fiona's episode was less involved. She witnesses a grocery store employee walk out and immediately asks for her job. The boss is skeezy and effectively says she can have it if she blows him. Fiona decides she's not just going to sit back and let a skeeze get away with that, and gets V to go in with a camera. V gets the same bullshit offer on tape and Fiona gets a cushy job with free food and benefits. It's short and contained. The skeezy guy is very skeezy. This works as an episode plot to keep Fiona moving forward, but it's mostly set up for the next episode. 

My favourite bit about that subplot was V, who is distracted by the whole Cheryl situation and talks to Fiona about it all the way in, clearly goes into business mode long enough to get what she needed, then comes out ranting about Cheryl again. Fiona has to interrupt to check that she got the footage. It's beautifully done.

And then we have Ian and Mickey! 

Specifically we have a bunch of scenes that get giffed with JOY. Mickey is part of the posse, and afterwards he brasses a bit, presumably for Lip's benefit and goes off to fuck Angie Zago, not knowing that the only witnesses know that he's gay. It's very sad for him when I think about it. Though I know some people headcanon that he has an arrangement with Angie and they just, like, play Chequers or something. I don't know what I feel about that. I want to come down on that side, but I feel like Mickey probably did a lot of stuff to keep the rumour mill favourable, with regards to his Dad never ever finding out that he's gay. 

Next we see that Mickey has his job at the Kash and Grab back! Now that Linda is not in the show, we have no idea how that conversation went. But I find it adorable that Mickey wanted it so that he could hang with Ian more, even if he is brassing and actively pretending straightness a lot more. 

The change in Mickey, and in the relationship between Mickey and Ian is interesting. In season 2 they seemed to be genuinely getting close... The first post-juvie reunion has lots of conversation and implications of where they're headed, and even the break-up episode gives the impression of a lot going on under the surface. 

Now we have Mickey still fucking Ian, but he's almost trying to keep Ian more emotionally at arm's length at first. "I came to school for drug reasons, the fucking was just a bonus" in last episode, and in this one "I fuck women you're not special".

Except that the dynamic is also different for Ian because he's not quite so at Mickey's beck and call. I still don't fully know why Ian was seeing Ned-Lloyd... That's a complicated issue, but likely he felt appreciated and seen by this older man who lavished attention and money on him. And then Ned-Lloyd shows up at the shop. 

My read on this scene, given Ian's "I sorta have a boyfriend" previously is that he was planning on finishing things with Ned when Mickey got out, assuming Mickey wanted to pick things up again. Probably he never intended to tell Mickey about him. Mickey knew about the guy under the bleachers, he knows Ian wasn't waiting around for him, but he didn't need to know about his gross older man until said gross older man comes in to the shop. And still Ian seems reluctant UNTIL he sees Mickey's reaction. He's feeling hurt over Angie and about Mickey refusing to even acknowledge that Ian might feel some kind of way about that, then an easy opportunity to rile his not-boyfriend walks in the door and he takes it. 

We have Mickey's beautiful reaction. The dripping jealousy that he'd never acknowledge, couched in the entirely fair and understandable knowledge that this guy is old enough to be Ian's Dad and then some, and they went to beat up a pedophile just that morning! But this guy is fancy and wears a suit and Ian is 16 so it's different right? 

Aside that I do like that the show accurately portrays that kind of cognitive dissonance. Treating the two things as complete different when at the very least they're closely related, if not exactly the same. Of course I'm not entirely convinced sometimes that the show knew that was what it was doing, but on this occasion I'm going to give it the benefit of the doubt. 

So we get Ian's bitchy "we mostly just fuck, like you and Angie," and I can only imagine how awkward the rest of their shift would be. 

Later we get that beautiful shot of Mickey "I'm not jealous" Milkovich watching Ian and Ned and drinking, and Noel Fisher's incredible performance putting more impact into a ten second shot with no dialogue than some actors manage in their whole careers. We get him confronting Ian and Ned and... I really wonder what he was planning there. Was he always going to beat Ned? Was he thinking it through at all, or did he get as far as Ian + other man = ?????. Nevertheless, Ned is a dick and manages to misread Mickey entirely, and gets beaten up for it. 

Then Mickey runs and calls for Ian to come. Ian doesn't need to. Ian could stay with Ned and get him help. He'd probably lie to the police if it came to that, but he didn't hit Ned. He defended Ned by punching Mickey, if anything. 

But he runs after Mickey. It's always Mickey. He doesn't ~not~ care about Ned, but he will always chase Mickey. And then we get the scene of them, high on adrenaline, running down side streets and roughhousing. It's glorious. 

Early Gallavich is so complex and rich and they did so much with so little. Noel and Cam work so well together that they elevated, what, five minutes of episode time, into a real highlight. I remember watching this episode for the first time thinking there must be more to it that I'd seen giffed, and there really isn't, but it's still so so good. I wish the show had given them more. I would love to watch the version of shameless where Mickey got main cast credit from season 1 (or 2 at the outside, given that Cam didn't get a whole bunch of screentime in season 1 and 2 either). It would have been incredible.

What we get is still iconic. 

And that's it. As I said at the beginning I have very mixed feelings about this episode. It has, by my count 5 instances of sexual assault (including indecent exposure and statutory rape), one of referenced spousal abuse, one that is part of ongoing grooming, two of child abuse. It's... A Lot for one episode and I'm almost certain I've missed one.

The script does its job. I'm almost certain this was what they were going for. It doesn't have the emotional power of the best Shameless episode, but the actual script does its job. So by some measure it's good. And part of the fascination of Shameless is sitting with those feelings of discomfort and unpleasantness and watching characters you like do things that I have major moral objections to. And at the end, I still like them. I don't excuse them, any more than Mandy excuses Blake. But I understand them. I love the way it gets my empathy brain working. To understand where these characters are coming from and that there are real people with similar views, even if it's tv so everything is condensed and exaggerated. 

So I'm going to go with it's a very Shameless episode. 

And we'll see how the next one goes!

[kittenfangirl20]

(An idea for the Adamsapple Cinderella AU)

*Eve watched guests arrive at the ball, it was better than having Alastor and Lilith try to get Lucifer’s attention, Alastor decided Lilith would be the one who would be better suited for the King as the new Queen, interestingly it seemed like Lucifer’s eyes kept drifting to the entrance as if he was waiting for someone to arrive, Eve’s jaw dropped when she saw her stepbrother, Adam, walk into the ballroom, the last time she saw Adam he was sobbing after Lilith tore up the suit that belonged to his dead father, he was now dressed in a new suit that seemed like it would belong to a Prince, it was deep blue trimmed in gold and black, a circlet was around his head making him look even more like a Prince (basically the circlet will look like his halo), black gloves, and a pair of boots that almost looked like they were made of gold, everyone was looking at this handsome young man who just arrived, Eve was surprised to notice that Alastor and Lilith didn’t recognize with Adam, but then again they probably wouldn’t recognize him because his face wasn’t covered in cinders, Eve quickly ran over to Adam*

Eve: Adam, how did you get this new outfit, it looks really nice on you.

*Adam blushed*

Adam: I know that it seems really fucking crazy, but I have a fairy godmother who gave me these new clothes and even turned a pumpkin into a carriage.

*if anyone aside from Adam said this, Eve would have called them crazy, but Adam was quite blunt in his honesty*

Eve: Well, you look amazing.

Adam: Thank you, I am hoping to meet someone at the ball. I have been meeting him in the forest for a couple weeks. He told me to call him Luc, he is so kind and handsome.

*Eve could tell by the light blush on Adam’s cheeks and the dreamy look in his eyes that Adam was in love with man named Luc, Eve’s jaw dropped when she saw Lucifer make his way to them looking very happy, the young king was dressed in white and red with a short black cape, she then realized that the King was looking right at Adam, the bored look he had earlier was replaced with one of pure joy*

Lucifer: Adam, you made it.

Adam: When you said that you lived in the palace, I thought it was because you were a guard, not because you were the King.

Lucifer: I am sorry about that, I don’t like people fawning over me because of the fact I was born into the Morningstar family. I technically didn’t lie though, Luc was the nickname my sister gave me and I do live in the palace.

*Adam laughed a little and had a lovely smile*

Adam: True.

*Lucifer took Adam’s gloved hand and kissed it, Eve noticed that both men were deeply in love with each other which would ruin Alastor’s plans to have his darling Lilith marry into the Morningstar family*

Lucifer: May I please dance with you?

Adam: I would love to dance with you.

*Lucifer led Adam onto the dance floor and they started to dance, the two young men paying attention to each other, the other guests might as well not even be here, after all the abuse and suffering Adam went through, Eve hoped that he would have a chance to happy*

(I always like the idea of one of the stepsisters being kind to Cinderella like in Ever After which is why I had Eve be a kind stepsister to Adam, also I think gold boots would suit Adam better than glass slippers, I also prefer Cinderella and her Prince meeting before the ball like in Ever After and the Disney live action remake)

[eolewyn1010]

Downton Abbey Fashion 16 - post-war service worker fashion

Back to the servants. Although not a whole lot has changed; the maids only get new uniforms in season 3. So we’ll just look at some coats and hats and Daisy’s new dresses instead.

First off, Mrs Hughes has two new dresses. A black one, par for the course, with a lace front (I kind of want to say stomacher because it’s in this deep V) and some white trim around to make it pop a little. This doesn’t look greatly different than her first season dresses, but it’s going more into a streamlined direction; the waistband isn’t doing so much anymore, the chest is not so strongly separated from the waist. The dark blue dress forgoes a waistline entirely, although not necessarily in the best way imo. I don’t know about this fabric patch on her stomach, guys. Would have liked it better if it went princess-style down the entire front. But I do like the red zigzag trim on her neckline plus the lacing on her neck and down from the shoulders. Seems to be mostly decorative.

This coat is a piece of beauty. Well, it’s the loose style of the beginning 1920s, but the pattern woven into or embroidered onto it? Lovely. I’d also like to point out that Mrs Hughes pairs it with a velvet hat – gotta look nice in the court of law.

--------------

Wooooow, check out O’Brien in her holiday dress. Which is black, like all the others! Joyous! Honestly, I’m almost shocked to see O’Brien go with some fashion, putting on something with a straight-lined, unstructured 1920s cut. It’s also decorated with some lace and beading, and I like the wider sleeves, but all-black with no spot of contrast anywhere seems a little doleful.

--------------

Next, Anna. We see her walk into the village in this pretty simple black tweed coat that I would steal on the spot. Mainly because I hope these big-ass pocket flaps mean it has big-ass pockets. She also wears this little brown straw hat a few times, and I like the ribbon she got for it – the golden ornaments pop so nicely.

But Anna also has another walking suit. Hey there, pinstripes! This is one of those articles that I haven’t really seen on one of the Crawley girls before, but I can easily imagine is a gift from them. Mainly because I’m not sure why Anna, who never shows overmuch enthusiasm for fashion and marries in the most boring dress-and-coat combo she could find, should spend money on another walking suit when she had a perfectly fine one last season already, but also because of the little velvet additions on the collar.

--------------

Is Jane wearing Anna’s coat? She might be, but she has her own hat. I like how, despite the elements of it being very simple, basically just a twisted ribbon and this rectangle patch, it looks quite nicely decorated. Work with what you have!

--------------

I don’t super love Daisy’s new day dress. It’s not much different from her previous, with a similar collar and cuffs on short sleeves, and the checker in and of itself is cute, but the color washes her out a bit. Ah well.

And around Christmas, we finally see her wear something long-sleeved. This grey dress is one she keeps at least into season 3, and a closer look shows that the collar and cuffs are made of a flowered fabric this time, which is cute.

Speaking of flowers, for her bedside wedding to William, Daisy gets prettied up in a blouse with flower print and a very nice beige skirt. This is definitely her best clothes, and I love how she did her hair for the occasion. Much better than the second, anyway… Daisy, darling, why do you wait until the eve of 1920 to try out the Gibson Girl? Big hair won’t be back in fashion for a few decades. I also don’t know about this lilac dress. It’s definitely a change to her everyday look, and the lace collar makes me think it’s also one of her best, but I definitely prefer her wedding look.

--------------

And because I don’t like this woman enough to give her a category of her own, I’m tacking on Vera Bates. They did Maria Doyle Kennedy dirty, giving her such a bitch to play only to have her kick off one of the more aggravating arcs. But at least her sense of fashion is immaculate. Look at these gorgeous coats! The burgundy one with the buttoned lapels is worn over what seems to be a jacket or waistcoat with some lovely black soutache embroidery, whereas the black coat keeps it simple with some stripes woven in. All the better to brag with these darling golden buttons, the little ruffle tie closure of her blouse, and the fur stola she presumably bought with her hush money.

[phantomdoofer]

Tower Town, Chapter 30 - New Year

Giuseppe stared out the window of his dressing room, watching the snow gently drift down. Anita had decided on having their ceremony on New Year's Eve.

“We'll start a new life along with a new year,” she'd said.

He'd tweaked her chin. “You think things will really be all that different?”

She'd gently tugged on his beard. “Let me have a little romanticism in my life, Sepp. I know I'm normally a no-nonsense sort of woman… but this is different.” She'd turned and given him the warmest look she'd ever given him. “On that day, we'll be joined together. Personally, I intend for it to be permanent. I want to make it special.”

Peppino walked up behind him, already fully dressed in the suit he would be wearing. In keeping with the theme, Peppino was wearing a version of the Army formal suit. While he'd never been an officer, the government had given him and Gustavo permission to wear a replica.

The official who Giuseppe had spoken to had been almost ecstatic. “Mr. Spaghetti deserves that much, as does Mr. Farina!” He'd leaned over conspiratorially. “I heard they're thinking of making a medal for you guys.”

Something that had turned out to be true… but Gustavo and Peppino didn't know it yet. He smirked as he thought of their surprise.

Giuseppe had returned to the tailor who'd done Peppino's chef's outfit before…. and had promptly had to get Peppino to return for remeasurement. With all the exercise Peppino had being doing alongside him, plus all the weight he'd lost carrying Tony around, he'd changed pretty dramatically.

Peppino ran his hands down the front of his suit. “I haven't-a been this trim since-a the War.” He put a hand on Giuseppe's shoulder. “You OK, fratello?”

Giuseppe laughed uneasily and turned. “I have a whole flock of butterflies in my stomach, but I guess I'm fine otherwise.” He gripped his stomach - he wasn't afraid. He knew Anita was a few rooms over.

But the anxiety was getting to him.

Peppino held up the formal military coat Giuseppe would be wearing, jingling with decorations. “Come on, Major, let’s-a get you in your own outfit.”

Giuseppe dutifully held up an arm, and Peppino slipped it over, weaving around to assist him with the other sleeve. “You know, fratello, sometimes I'm-a jealous of you.”

“What for?” Giuseppe said.

Peppino bounced the coat, and it jangled like a tambourine. “You-a did so much, in your time. So much decoration. I never-a got more than-a my basic bars. Never, ah, never distinguished myself.”

Giuseppe turned to his brother, who began the process of closing the coat. “Don't think too highly of all this brass, Pino. There's a lot of pain in each of these. A lot of… lost friends.”

Peppino nodded. “Ovviamente. But…” he sighed. “Some-a-times I just wish I had-a done something more-a… noble.”

Giuseppe reached out, grasping his brother's shoulders with both hands. “Fratellino, saving the entire world isn't noble?”

“But I-a had you guys with me,” Peppino said.

“And you think I was alone, all these times?” Giuseppe said. He pointed at the various badges and medals. “Each one of these was a group effort, fratellino.”

Peppino dutifully pointed at the lurid orange medal that indicated the Battle of Inferno. “And this one? Only-a you succeeded.”

Giuseppe thought of all the other runners who'd died to destroy the superweapon. “Dozens died for that one, Peppino. And that's not even counting the ground battle that happened outside.” He thumped Peppino in the chest. “And besides, who was the one who damn near broke reality to destroy the Pizzamancer? You.” Giuseppe bent over, picking up the sash that was the last part of his outfit. “You're just as deserving of praise as me, Pino. More, in some ways. To the world, you're a hero.”

“It doesn't-a feel like it,” Peppino muttered.

“It never does,” Giuseppe said, smiling as he clipped the sash. “Until somebody in the street stops to thank you, or someone hands you a coffee on the house.” He chuckled. “Or the government gives the bank a little poke when they're not sure about giving you a loan.”

Peppino did a double-take. “How-a did you-?”

He shrugged. “I didn't know, I guessed.” Giuseppe laughed. “Fame does have its privileges, fratellino. Says a lot about someone, how they use it… or don't.”

Peppino muttered something about him being a “intelligentone,” and Giuseppe laughed. “Takes one to know one, fratellino.”

As he finished the last bits, there was a knock at the door.

Giuseppe knew who it was. “Get that, please, would you, Pino?”

As Peppino walked to the door, muttering “I said I'd be your best-a man, not-a your manservant,” Giuseppe walked over and grabbed two small boxes from a drawer.

Peppino opened the door… to find Gustavo standing, dressed exactly like him. “Amico? Aren't you supposed to-a stay with the bride?”

Gustavo shrugged. “Seppe said he wanted to see me before the ceremony.”

“Close the door, please, Gus,” Giuseppe said. He was almost bursting with excitement. As Gus did so, Giuseppe turned, one of the boxes in hand. “I needed to see both of you. I have something for you.” He held up the box.

“That-a looks… very official,” Peppino said cautiously.

“That's because it is,” Giuseppe said with a smile. “I won't stand on too much ceremony, but… atten-tion!"

The tone of his voice clicked an old reflex, and both men stood up straight.

Giuseppe walked over to his brother. “When I spoke to the military office, they had something else for me. They wanted to make it some grand ceremony, but… I thought this would be better.”

Peppino and Gustavo both looked puzzled.

Giuseppe opened the box… and pulled out a medallion. “Peppino Spaghetti, Gustavo Farina, I, Giuseppe Spaghetti, have been authorized to give you this - the only medal ever given and recognized by all major governments. The International Medal of Valor.”

Peppino's bottom lip began to wobble as Giuseppe pinned the medal to his chest. “I… I-a don't…” he looked Giuseppe in the eyes. “How did-a you know?”

Giuseppe laughed. “When you started in about medals, I almost broke. This is as big an honor as you can get, you two. Bigger than anything I ever got before.” He patted Peppino on the shoulder, smiling. “Congratulations, Sergeant Major Spaghetti.”

Peppino's eyes grew wide. “S-Sergeant M-M-”

“Oh, I forgot to mention. They gave you both an honorary promotion. I have the insignia for you, too.” He clipped it on Peppino's shoulders, and the man looked ready to cry.

Giuseppe bent over, doing the same for Gustavo, who looked ready to bawl himself. Then he glanced at Giuseppe's shoulder. “Wait. Your own bars are different.”

Giuseppe laughed. “Yeah. Apparently they were feeling generous. My official rank is now apparently Brigadier General. I'm still retired, but…” he beamed. “Anita's a Colonel, now, herself. Gave her her medal and insignias yesterday.”

Gustavo's voice wobbled a little as he spoke. “I thought she seemed more excited than usual. I thought it was just wedding jitters.”

Peppino examined the medal. “So, does-a the design have any meaning?”

Giuseppe pointed. “The gold ring, inlaid with blue and green, represents the world, since this is an international honor. The five stars around the edge of the gold ring indicate it's the highest possible honor.” He pointed at the lurid purple bar, above the circular medal. “The purple bar indicates the Tower, of course. That part's unique to this version.” He shrugged. “Of course, who knows when this might get used again?”

Peppino looked over at Gustavo's, noticing a difference. “Why does-a mine have a ruby in-a the center of-a the bar, and not Gustavo's?”

Giuseppe smirked, pointing at his own. “That's a special bonus. For those of us that died there and got brought back. You, me, and Anita have the ruby. Noise and Noisette will get one, too.”

“Oh, great,” Peppino muttered. “Just-a what we need, something else to inflate-a the gremlin's ego.”

Giuseppe finished pinning the medal on Gustavo's chest, and he stood and saluted the two. Peppino and Gustavo returned it, tears in both their eyes.

“Thank you, fratello,” Peppino choked out.

Gustavo nodded. “My parents would've been so proud…"

Giuseppe smiled and put his hand down. “Hopefully Mama doesn't have a coronary from happiness.”

“You haven't-a told her yet?” Peppino said, incredulous.

“Well, I did just get these a few days ago,” he said.

Gustavo looked down. “So it's okay for me to go back to Anita's room with all this? She knows, right?”

“Yep! She should have her own stuff on by now.” He glanced at the clock. “Affrettarsi, though, we're getting close to time!”

As the gnome exited, Peppino was fingering the rank insignia. His chin wobbled as he did. “You bastardo sporco, there I was, talking all that-a nonsense about recognition and rank, and you had-a this just sitting in the drawer…”

Giuseppe laughed and gave Peppino a hug. “Took everything I had not to tell you, fratellino.” He held him at arm's length. “Looking good, Peppino. Now you have some decorations, too. The biggest decoration in the world.”

Peppino smiled, trying to maintain his composure. “Sì,” he whispered. “I never thought I would have something like this. A life… a life like this. A son. Honors. A successful ristorante. A brother.” He clasped Giuseppe's shoulder, and Giuseppe returned the favor.

Giuseppe smirked. “We're brothers-in-arms, too, fratellino. It doesn't get much closer than that.”

Peppino wiped away tear. “Sì.” He dropped his arms. “I'm-a not taking orders from you, though, General,” he said with a grin.

Giuseppe put on a mock scowl. “So, it's mutiny, then.”

They stared at each other… then burst out laughing at the absurdity. “Come on, Sergeant-Major. We have a wedding to attend.”

~~~~

Giuseppe stood at the altar, at ease, smiling and trying not to fidget. Peppino flanked him, beaming. They'd spoken to their mother before the ceremony. If she smiled any bigger, we wouldn't need candles, Giuseppe thought wryly.

They hadn't gone very flowery, like most weddings; a wedding between two professional soldiers called for something a bit different. Plus, Anita doesn't care much for flowers. Or frills, for that matter. There was ivy everywhere, though. Though the snow was piling up outside, a warm breeze flowed through the room, and birds sang. They'd hired an environmental illusionist to decorate the room. They'd spoken to Margherita at length, and now it was as close as they could get to her old home, back in Italy, on a nice spring day. We should visit there, sometime.

The overhead lights were dimmed; instead, candles of various sizes, from small tea lights up to monolithic towers, illuminated the room. A few of them were floating; most were illusory.

All their friends were in attendance. They'd even talked Fake into coming out. They sat beside Brando. Brando was almost shaking with pride at the medal on his chest, and Fake… well, Fake's expression could be hard to read at the best of times, but they almost radiated pride - both theirs, and for their son.

Pepperman sat at the front. He and Anita had become close, and she'd insisted he be front and center. He'd sworn to paint a portrait of them as soon as the ceremony was complete. “I'll burn it into my mind’s eye,” he'd said airily. They'd fashioned a long collar for him to wear his medal. He's probably burning an entire country’s supply of smugness right now, Giuseppe thought.

Behind him were the Noises. Noisette had worn an amazingly flashy dress, and the medal clashed magnificently. She was bouncing up and down, and as his gaze swept over them, she waved energetically, which he returned, much more subtly. In her arms, Tony babbled happily; the little Mingle had taken a liking to her, and she had almost fainted when Peppino had entrusted her with him. She'd elected not to stand with them as a result, but she was still beaming with delight. Meanwhile, the little bean was reaching for a tea light, fascinated by the floating objects. He kept staring around, almost as interested in all the new faces as he was the lights. He seemed to be enjoying himself immensely.

Beside her, Noise held his head high. Giuseppe had expected him to crow and yell and proclaim his greatness, when he'd received the medal; instead, the little man had been quiet, unnaturally so. It had thrown everyone off completely. Even Noisette had seemed surprised. Then Noise had pulled Giuseppe aside. “Wanna say, I don't deserve this, big guy.”

“Noise, you saved the world, just like the rest of us,” Giuseppe had said. “You destroyed the Pizzamancer's monster army. You fought him. I can still hear that big damned bomb going off,” he said with a grin.

Noise chuckled, still unusually subdued. “Yeah, that was a good one. As for the monsters, Noisette and the others did most of it. All I did was press a button.”

Giuseppe had rolled his eyes, amused but now slightly exasperated. “Listen, folletto, when a General says “take your laurels,” take your damn laurels. You deserve it, just as much as the rest of us.”

Noise had looked a little surprised at the big Italian's vehemence. “Well, uh… I guess. If ya say so.” He flipped the medal on his chest, and gave the most genuine smile Giuseppe had ever seen on his face. “I never got any honors like this before. I mean, I got awards for shows an’ such, but… this is different. I'm gonna wear it proud-like. Gonna get it framed, put it in my office. Thank ya, big guy.” Then he'd grabbed Giuseppe's sash, looking oddly desperate. “Don't tell Peppino, OK?”

Giuseppe had smiled and simply made a zipped-lip motion.

Even General Burne had shown up. Giuseppe and Anita had both been shocked to see the old man, and they had had to explain to most of the others just who he was… and why they were so stirred up.

Anita, in particular, had been nervous. “I, uh… I'm sorry I ran off on you, all those years ago, Maj- er, General.”

Burne had waved a hand and smiled, his mustache, now white as snow, bristling. “Personally, I understood, Anita. I'm the one who signed the order dismissing the charges, after all.” Then he'd winked, which had thrown both of them off. “Besides, I think saving the world qualifies you for a bit of forgiveness.”

He was sitting near the back, taking up a huge amount of space. An active general came with quite the retinue, after all.

Anita had invited a few of her family, but none had shown up. “I'm not surprised,” she said, disgusted. “Most of ‘em I didn't really want here, anyway. They're lowlifes.” She'd looked around. “My family's already here.”

A whole cloud of Spec Ops agents had shown up, headed up by Captain Lambert, the Frenchman who'd liaised with them. “A Brigadier General requires at least some presence, monsieur, to say nothing of a Colonel,” he'd said with a wide grin. “Plus… a lot of the youngsters miss you, General Spaghetti.”

Giuseppe had laughed. “Being too hard of a taskmaster on them, eh, Louis?”

The Frenchman had shrugged. “Someone has to keep them in line.”

Anita had chuckled. “Tell them if they don't straighten up, I'll come out of retirement to whip them into shape.”

Louis had grinned… if a little painfully. In her short return, Anita had terrorized the whole organization, running them through their paces like the toughest of drill sergeants. “I'll tell them. No offense, Madame, but even I would be terrified of such a prospect.”

Finally, the doors opened at the end of the hall, and everyone stood. Gustavo escorted Anita down the aisle, acting as both Father of the Bride and bridesmaid/groomsman. He smiled impishly - Anita was short enough he didn't have to unduly stretch to hold her hand, and he was enjoying the experience.

Anita wore an outfit identical to Giuseppe's, though somewhat less festooned with insignia; she'd immediately rejected the idea of a dress. “I'm not a dress woman,” she'd said. “I'm a former soldier, a professional.”

Giuseppe had just smiled. “Wouldn't have it any other way, ‘Nita.”

Of course, she had her own chest full of metal; she'd been quite active before she'd left. The Colonel insignia, as well as the new medal, gleamed in the soft light.

Her face was the most serene he'd ever seen her wear.

They had eschewed music, too. “Ugh, too fru-fru for my taste,” she'd said. The birdsong had been her idea, though. She loves nature.

Vigi stood beside Giuseppe, the officiant - as Sheriff, one of his duties was the ability to officiate weddings. He'd almost burst with pride when he'd found out that was his role, and he was taking it seriously. “Been practicin’ fer weeks,” he’d said that morning.

“But… it's only a few words,” Giuseppe had said, laughing.

“Maybe,” Vigi had replied. “But they're important words.”

Anita stopped beside Giuseppe, and Gustavo took up his position, mirroring Peppino. She grinned at him. “Looking sharp, General,” she whispered.

“Don't rub it in,” Giuseppe replied.

Together, they turned to the Sheriff.

Vigi gestured for everyone to sit - the medal glittered as he moved. Lacking anywhere else to put it, he'd pinned it to his hat.

“We're gathered here t'day t’ witness the joinin’ of Giuseppe Spaghetti and Anita Morelli in matrimony. Both bride an’ groom have elected to forego any long, flowery speeches.” The crowd laughed quietly. “They have, however, elected t’ say few words.” He gestured. “Go ahead.”

Giuseppe looked into Anita's eyes. “For twenty years, part of me was lost,” he said. “A part I wept for, mourned for. A few months ago, it returned, quietly, subtly, but as bright as the sun. For the first time in ages, I felt whole.” He smiled. “I never want to lose that again.”

Anita nodded. “For twenty years, I searched the world for something I'd lost,” she said. “It took me all that time to realize - I had left it behind. It was waiting for me. I just had to have the courage to return. And, even though it ended up getting dropped in my lap unexpectedly… it really was what I'd been missing, the whole time.” She smiled. “I’ll never let it go again.”

They turned back to Vigi, who cleared his throat. “And as such, today we bind the two of you together, never t’ be parted again.” He turned towards Peppino. “The ring, sir?”

Peppino pulled the ring box out of his coat pocket, grinning like a cat, handing it to his brother. Giuseppe opened it, revealing a shining titanium band.

Giuseppe took Anita's hand, slipping the ring over her finger. “Had to pull some strings for this one. It's a piece of the shell of Inferno.”

She grinned. “Well. Great minds think alike, then.” Gustavo, on cue, proffered his own ring box, and she opened it to reveal another titanium ring. As she slipped it over his finger, she smirked. “Another piece of Inferno. Had to pull some strings of my own to get it.” She snickered. “Probably best you don't ask how, though.”

Giuseppe laughed. “God, we're too much alike, sometimes.”

Anita grinned. “More like two parts of a bigger piece.”

Giuseppe nodded, and they turned back to Vigi.

The sheriff cleared his throat again. “By my authority as Sheriff of Tower Town, I declare ya husband an’ wife.” He grinned. “I'd say ‘you may kiss the bride,’ but… I think that goes without sayin’.”

They both laughed, turned, and Giuseppe grabbed Anita, doing a full dip while kissing her.

Everyone cracked up, then applauded.

As he stood her back on her feet, she glared at him… but she was smiling. “A little over the top, don't you think?”

He smiled his most roguish smile. “Glad I can still surprise you.”

~~~~

The reception was winding down; almost all the attendees had left already, hoping to at least reach La Crosta before the snow became impassable. Gustavo had volunteered to take Margherita home. “It's on my way, anyway,” he'd said.

Before she had left, she had insisted on giving the couple, as well as Peppino and Gustavo, a hug. “I'm so proud of you all. You all survived so much. Now look at you. Honored as you should be…” she gestured to them all, “you two, married…” she gave both Giuseppe and Anita a kiss on the cheek, “you two, having given me my first grandchild,” she did the same for Peppino and Gustavo, “to say nothing of giving me a nuora e genero.” She beamed at them all. “I've never been more proud of you all.” She patted Gustavo on the shoulder. “And I know your genitori are beside themselves with joy, genero. Stand proud.”

Gustavo blushed, then cleared this throat. “We should get going, Mrs. Spaghetti. The roads could be treacherous soon.” He waggled his finger at Tony, in Peppino's arms, and the boy giggled. “Be careful going home, you two.”

“Fai lo stesso, amico Mio,” Peppino said. “Take care, Mama.”

As they left, Peppino, Giuseppe, and Anita looked around. The room was being cleared away - they hadn't opted for a big reception, either.

That hadn't stopped everyone from providing housewarming gifts, though.

Peppino walked to the pile, which was impressive. “Do-a you need me to help you get this-a home? I can load some of it in-a my car…”

Giuseppe waved a hand. “Nah. We've got room. You should get home. No need to keep the bambino out in this mess.” He bent over and tweaked the boy's nose, who giggled. “Do you need me to come by tomorrow and watch him?”

Peppino shook his head. “Fake is-a going to open the pizzeria tomorrow - but I don't-a expect much business, between the snow and it-a being New Year's. Too-a many people will be sleeping off the night before.” He smirked. “And besides, I doubt you will-a be up to much tomorrow, eh?”

Even Anita blushed. “Just announce it to the world, why don't you…”

Peppino laughed. “It's-a what newlyweds do, eh? No one would be surprised.” He waggled his eyebrows. “And I can't-a wait to have a nipote o pronipote to spoil.” He went quiet, reaching up to finger the medal and the rank bars. “I still-a can't believe it.”

Giuseppe and Anita held each other. “You deserve it, Pino, you really do,” Giuseppe said.

“Forse,” Peppino said quietly. He picked up Tony's bag, looped it over his shoulder, and shook hands with Anita. “I know, you've-a been doing it already… but take-a good care of mio fratello, OK?”

Anita looked up at her husband. “I will. I mean it when I said… I'll never let it go again.”

Peppino nodded, content. “Va bene. Ciao, you two. See you later.”

~~~~

Giuseppe dropped the last of the gifts on the counter in his kitchen, as Anita closed the door to his apartment. “You know,” she said, flopping down on the couch, “even if we hadn't just got married, I think I'd stay here tonight.”

Giuseppe nodded; the snow had picked up considerably, and they'd had to clear a path to the stairs. “No kidding. Good thing I stocked up. Looks like we're gonna be snowed in a few days.”

He walked over and sat down beside her, undoing the sash and his coat’s bindings. Anita had already shucked hers. “This stuff is pretty comfortable, for a dress uniform, but…”

She reached over and helped him shrug off the heavy broadcloth. “Yeah. At least we didn't need a coat in this cold.”

She stood, draping the coat over a chair. “We'll just put this all away properly… tomorrow,” she said. She flopped back down.

Both of them sat in silence for a bit, just enjoying each other's presence.

Suddenly, outside, distant singing started, and, despite the snow, fireworks started popping.

“Huh…?” Giuseppe said, checking his watch. It read 12:00. “Well, I'll be damned. It's already that late.” He leaned over and kissed her. “Happy New Year.”

She returned the favor. “Happy New Year,” she said, snuggling up under his arm. “What year are we in now?”

“2593,” Giuseppe said quietly. “47 years now, I've been here.”

Anita nuzzled his chest. “48, for me. But thanks to the regeneration, it's like 28 all over again.” She looked up and grinned.

He smiled. “Yeah. A whole new life to live.”

They sat and watched the burst of fireworks through the window, softened by the falling snow.

[reapedsculs]

introducing airlangga wirata haas, also known as THE CROW ...

CONTENT WARNING: mentions of parental death, pregnancy, car accident, terminal illness.

basics.

FACECLAIM nicholas saputra. CHARACTER NAME airlangga wirata haas. NICKNAME(S) angga, crow. GENDER/PRONOUNS cis man ( he/him ). SEXUALITY demisexual biromantic. HEIGHT 5'11" DISTINGUISHING FEATURES a pair of brown eyes with piercing gaze behind thin-rimmed glasses, soften whenever he smiles; black wavy hair usually trimmed short. APPEARS (THE AGE AT TIME OF DEATH) forty. BIRTHDAY january 20th PLACE OF BIRTH jakarta, indonesia. NATIONALITY indonesian. FAMILY INFORMATION his father was an american journalist based in jakarta while his mother was a teacher for a public school. both of whom died after being involved in a car accident, where his father died at the scene of the crash while his mother, who was pregnant with angga at the time, had survived long enough for the doctors to perform a surgery that saved him. he had reunited with his father in death, but not his mother – who had been a grymm and was offered retirement before angga arrived in the afterlife. otherwise, he had no living relatives. CAUSE OF DEATH he had gotten sick after coming back from an academic conference and had shrugged it off, until his symptoms gotten worse. when he got to the er & they found out he had suffered from meningitis, it had been too late. despite the doctor's best efforts, he had succumbed to the illness. TRAITS + passionate, studious, persistent – pushy, tactless, know-it-all. LIKES the scent and feel of a new book, the smell of rain, a freshly-brewed coffee, trivia nights, picking up new knowledge or skills, being right, getting satisfying answers to his questions, spending time with his father. DISLIKES whenever they make his coffee too watered down or sugared up, long drives (or being in a car for far too long in general), strenuous physical works, unsolved mysteries, not getting a straight answer (even worse when he's refused an answer at all), people discrediting his works, people who are mean to kids. HOBBIES reading (particularly non-fiction, classics, or mystery & crime novels), writing on a journal (he dabbles in a little poetry!), studying & learning new things, sketching, snooping and poking around to learn more about the afterlife. HABITS despite the nonexistent need for sustenance nor the existence of time in the after life, angga still enjoys a 'morning' coffee before starting his day, he's a restless thinker who would either: a) drum his fingers against a surface, b) mindlessly fiddling with a pen cap or clicking away on it, or c) paces around the room, tends to fire out some random fun facts he remembers out of the blue, might shut out others & forget to take care of himself when he's too preoccupied with something he's working on or otherwise overwhelmed.

optionals.

EXTRAS pinterest + playlists. CHARACTER TROPES determinator, sarcasm-blind, insufferable genius, too clever by half, married to the job, nightmare fetishist. CHARACTER INSPIRATIONS spencer reid ( criminal minds ), akagi ritsuko ( neon genesis evangelion ), holden ford ( mindhunter ), viktor ( arcane ), eve polastri ( killing eve ), gale ( baldur's gate 3 ). MORAL ALIGNMENT chaotic neutral. ZODIAC aquarius. MBTI intp – the logician ENNEAGRAM type 5w4 MEMES

[reelovesfictionalmen]

John Price NSFW headcanons

Trying my hand at headcanons. Was originally going to write a fic where Price gets soft dommed but couldn't really be bothered. This is cross posted to my Ao3. Reader is female as it is with all my works! Work under the cut. Minors fuck off.

A = Aftercare Will get you both water and a snack and help you both wash up before climbing back into bed with you. He NEEDS cuddles, kisses and snuggles after sex, it's important for him and helps him feel bonded with you. Will hold you to his chest and pepper your head and forehead with kisses. Rumbling happily as you two relax in the afterglow.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) He loves his hands, especially when your hand is in his or when his hands are on your waist. He loves seeing his hands on your waist when he's pumping in and out of you. He also LOVES making you cum on his fingers. Knowing that his hands can cause pain to bad people but give you love and pleasure with them too.

He loves your lips and mouth. For the kisses and sweet words you give him as well as the filthy words you whisper in his ears. Your lips around his cock, you kissing and sucking down his chest and stomach, nibbling his thighs. You've got a sweet and dirty mouth and he loves it

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person) Balls deep in your pussy or ass. With a grunt he will hilt himself inside you and fill you up. Even if he's wearing a condom he wants to be balls deep when he finishes. He loves you cumming on his cock, leaving a creamy ring around his cock. If you're a squirter you're in for a bad(good) time. He's going to wring you dry. You're going to need so much water after he's done.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) He wants you to dom him. Soft dom. He's always in charge in his job and he just wants you to take control. To not let him cum until you've had your fill of his cock. Make him beg to let him cum. To over stimulate him until he's in tears.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?) He was a root rat in his 20's. Sowing his wild oats so to speak. So he's fucked. Once he became a captain he doesn't have the energy for slutting around and is looking for more serious relationships.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying.) Face down, ass up. He loves seeing you pressed into the bed, his hands on your hips and him controlling the speed of his thrusts. He also loved when you fuck yourself back into him.

Also really likes finishing off with missionary so he can cover you with his body entirely. Wrapping his arms around you, your legs and arms around him, his face burried in your neck while he cums balls deep.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc) A lot of people say he's super serious but I feel like he can be a cheeky little shit. I can see him with a shit eating grin while he keeps bullying you with his dick. Or joking about the mess you've both made after the fact. BUT he can also be serious. Especially when he's feeling especially passionate. During those times he's more quiet, hushed moans and sweet words.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.) John is fluffy. Everywhere. Even his ass. He does trim his pubes, doesn't want you to get long hairs in your mouth when you such his dick, that's be mean.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…) Stupid intimate. Is big on MAKING LOVE. When he first gets home from off of duty, he needs to take his time with you. Cuddling, making out, foreplay and then finally getting himself inside you feels euphoric. Both his and your lips will be swollen from all the kisses.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon) He does sometimes in the showers on base if theres a stall. Mostly as stress/tension relief

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks) As I mentioned earlier he secretly wants to sub. He'd only ever bring that up with a lover he's been with for a few years. Being that vulnerable with someone takes a lot of trust. Apart from that he likes to edge you. If you let him he will tie you up and edge you for an hour or two. Soft coos of how well you're doing for him before bringing you to a mind blowing series of orgasms.

L = Location Bedroom mostly. Does enjoy sitting on the couch with you in his lap grinding on his cock.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going) You not wearing underwear under your clothes. No bra and your nipples poking through your shirt. Boner city. You're going commando under your pants or pjs? He needs you as soon as he can get you alone. Days before he gets off duty he's thinking about making love to you. By the time he gets home he cant wait to have you in his arms.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) Choking, blood, bruising, scat, cruel degradation. No sharing either. The two of you are only for each other. If you want to swing or cuckhold, you're not for him.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc) Getting his beard wet with your wetness is a treat. The smell of you on his beard while the two of you are basking in the afterglow of sex is sometimes enough to get him going again. Loves your lips around his cock, loves the time you take when you suck his cock. Is content to let you do your thing.

P = Pace Price loves slow and soft the most, he wants to take his time and enjoy the time you two have together. However, when he's in a cheeky mood, oh man he's going to go hard and fast. He wants to hear you whine and whimper with each harsh thrust.

Q = Quickie Prefers to take his time with you but if you want a quickie he'll oblige happily.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.) Will try most things once as long as they don't touch his hard limits (no nos)

S = Stamina He needs 10-15min between rounds. Needing longer between each round before he goes again. Can go 3 rounds 4 rounds max.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?) Likes using a vibrator when he's edging you. Sometimes he will put an egg vibe in your ass or pussy when he fucks the other hole.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) He likes edging you. The longer the better. When he's in his cheeky shit mood he will be more likely to tease and edge you.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make) Grunts and groans like a champ when his face is buried in your neck. Is a dirty talker too. When you're domming him, he whimpers and begs. He sounds so pretty when he's whimpering and whining.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice) Loves to fuck your ass. Face down, ass up and him slowly taking your ass. The almost tabooness of it really appeals to him. He doesn't do it often, he knows his dick is big and it takes a lot of prep to get you able to take him and it not hurt. He usually asks for it for his birthday. You letting him fill your ass with his cum several times on his birthday, babygirl he's whipped.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words) He's thick. Thick as hell. It's always a stretch no matter how often you take him. He's about average in length 5.5-6inch.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?) When he's home with you. Morning and night. He needs slow sleepy morning sex where you both fall back to sleep with him inside you.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) Once you are both fed, watered, cleaned up and you're in his arms. Sleep comes decently fast. Tries to wait for you to fall asleep first but it doesn't always end up that way.

[faithhopeloveandtherapy]

2023 Christmas rundown

We are back home now after a week away at my parents in the Lake District for Christmas. I can say it has been 100% genuinely lovely. The circumstances are not all great - my dad is in the middle of chemotherapy and despite being very stoical, is definitely being affected by pain and side effects, and my mum is clearly worried about everything. Despite that, we managed to keep up with all our traditional Christmas activities. Having no small children with us meant that we really could just relax and rest together.

On Christmas Eve, we traditionally go to the pantomime in the morning and then to my sister’s for a meal and general drinking and merriment in the evening. H hates the panto as he’s always terrified he’ll get pulled up on stage, so he stayed at home with my dad, but the girls and I, my mum, my sister, hubby and two nephews all went. Then we all went out in the evening.

Christmas Day started with a 9am parkrun for some of us, then home for croissants and Buck’s Fizz. We did some present opening - we are that family that go round opening one gift at a time and admiring each others so it takes a while. We had to break off for Christmas dinner prep - we had the traditional enormous roast turkey with all the trimmings and 7 different vegetables. It was incredible. My sister and family came round for the Christmas dinner and then we did some more present opening. We all took Prosecco induced naps about 7pm and woke revitalised and played a board game called Cascadia.

Boxing Day we always go for a walk up our local hill and then come home and sit in front of the fire for the rest of the day.

Over the next few days, I basically did my knitting, completed a jigsaw, went for a couple of runs, and read my book. One evening we watched an Agatha Christie two part TV programme, Murder is Easy. It was all so relaxing and easy. I’d bought the Lego tiny plants set, and we spent an hour or so all making a plant each. Even my dad joined in which I hadn’t expected, as his fingers are very clumsy these days, but he was determined to get a plant built, and he did. My dad is more child-like and gentle in this phase of life and I feel relaxed around him and even protective of him. I’m so thankful for talking through all the painful stuff over the years in therapy, because it doesn’t feel like it’s tripping me up now.

Having no children in foster placement with us made it so restful - one of the very few Christmases over the last 21 years with no small children (our own or our foster children). I’m so glad we have taken this time for a fostering break.

[kevinsreviewcatalogue]

Review: Terrifier 2 (2022)

Terrifier 2 (2022)

Not rated

<Originally posted at https://kevinsreviewcatalogue.blogspot.com/2024/10/review-terrifier-2-2022.html>

Score: 4 out of 5

All Hallows' Eve and Terrifier were flawed, but fun low-budget slashers that were both elevated by their villain Art the Clown, their grungy atmospheres, and a willingness to trample over every line of good taste with their kills, their writer/director Damien Leone putting his background as a special effects artist to great use in order to make movies that looked like they cost a lot more than the pittances they actually did. What they lacked, however, was in their stories and writing, the former film having been cobbled together from three short films Leone had made over the years and the latter being chiefly a special effects showcase with only the barest framework of a plot to hold it together. Here, Leone got something close to resembling an actual budget, along with plenty of time to think about the kind of sequel he wanted to make after Terrifier blew up, knowing that another round of plotless, gratuitous violence just wouldn't cut it -- and what he decided to make can only be described as a slasher epic, a film with a 138-minute runtime comparable to a Marvel movie that not only considerably fleshes out Art and the lore surrounding him but also gives him actual characters to hunt and kill, most notably its heroine Sienna Shaw. And for the most part, it worked. It probably could've stood to have a lot of scenes trimmed down, but Art is still one of the greatest villains of modern horror, Sienna is one of its best heroines, the production values have been beefed up considerably, the kills are some all-timers that make the previous movie look almost PG-13, and the story adds just enough to make things interesting without taking away the aura of mystery surrounding just who Art is and what exactly is going on. Having now seen all three films featuring Art the Clown, I would recommend this as one's entry point into the series, not just because it's altogether a more lighthearted and "fun" film than its predecessors (even with the increased gore) but also because it's simply a better one, and easily one of the best slasher movies in recent memory.

The film starts right where the first one left off, with Art the Clown waking up on the mortuary slab after killing himself at the end of the last movie, as puzzled as anyone as to how he's still alive. As it turns out, there's a supernatural force at work that brought him back from the dead, represented by a creepy little girl in a similar outfit and clown makeup to Art who wants him to keep killing, Art of course being happy to oblige. Right away, this was a creative solution to the question of how you flesh out a slasher villain in the sequels without ruining his mystique. It's a tricky tightrope to walk, one that the Halloween and Nightmare on Elm Street franchises both notoriously fumbled as they gave Michael Myers and Freddy Krueger increasingly convoluted backstories that took away the basic, simple hooks that their characters were originally built around. Here, Art the Clown is still just a guy who likes killing people, the added story elements all falling on the Little Pale Girl, as she's credited as. Played by Amelie McLain as a more child-like version of Art who never directly kills people but otherwise haunts them and helps Art do his dirty work, there are hints as to just who she actually is (or at least used to be) but nothing concrete beyond the fact that she's more than just a mere ghost. She was an injection of supernatural horror into what had been a fairly grounded slasher story on the last outing, a Devil figure of sorts guiding Art while occasionally appearing to the protagonists as well, and proved to be a very intriguing and creepy addition to the story hinting that there was a lot more going on here than just your usual tale of a slasher villain coming back from the dead for the sequel.

There's more to a great slasher movie than just a great killer, though. My biggest problem with the last movie was that there wasn't much to it beyond Art the Clown, and it's one that Leone went out of his way to try to solve here, putting a much greater focus on a singular protagonist fighting him. And I must say, Sienna Shaw is easily one of the best final girls I've seen in a long while. Initially presented as unconnected to Art, Sienna is a creative but troubled teenager with a passion for costume design whose father, who died of a brain tumor that turned a once-loving family man into an abusive bastard in his final year on Earth, still looms large over her life. Her mother is constantly on edge, and her younger brother Jonathan has developed an unhealthy interest in true crime and murderers, particularly the "Miles County Clown" case from the prior year. It turns out, however, that her father, implied to have been an artist of some sort, may have possibly been psychic and known about Art the Clown, and the fantasy drawings he left behind included detailed depictions of some of the events of the last movie before they happened -- as well as a drawing of Sienna defeating Art.

What grabbed me about Sienna right away was her actress, Lauren LaVera. She spends most of the film in a sexy, badass "warrior woman" outfit she made for Halloween, and she absolutely lives up to it, LaVera putting her background as a stunt performer and martial artist to great use as she battles Art during this film's lengthy climax. Leone originally designed the character as something more akin to the heroine of a fantasy story for a different movie he was working on that ultimately never got made, and that shows through in Sienna's grit and toughness under pressure. There's more to a great horror heroine than just being tough, though. There's a reason why the phrase "strong female character" is a running joke among media critics both feminist and otherwise, and that's because it's all too easy for poorly-written versions of such characters to turn into one-note hardasses, clearly trying to be Ellen Ripley or Sarah Connor but missing the humanity that made those characters work. Sienna, by contrast, spends most of the film's first two acts away from Art and the action, the problems she has to contend with being of the personal and psychological sort, and here, LaVera shines and delivers the kind of performance that makes careers. Sienna felt like a capable survivor, but one who had been thrust into a situation she was in no way ready for and wound up getting as good as she gave. There are implications that she's slowly going insane as the pressure of her father's death and the breakdown of her family starts to get to her, especially once she starts having strange, violent dreams about Art that seem to predict what's happening in real life. Her seemingly being tied to premonitions of the future was a plot decision that could've easily gone wrong, but the way it plays out here, especially given the new mystery surrounding Art and the Little Pale Girl, it only adds to the feeling that there's a lot more going on under the surface than just a simple slasher story.

The surface, though, is plenty thrilling enough. Leone felt like he was on a personal mission to top the last movie in the gore department, starting right away with a kill that one of my co-workers told me caused him to stop watching just ten minutes in. I think I know the one, and I can certainly say that it doesn't even register in the top five most brutal moments in this movie. The all-time highlight, the one that typically comes up whenever this movie is discussed, is one that, if Mortal Kombat ever decided to add Art the Clown to its character roster (as it's done with various other horror villains), would probably have to be cut down in order to make the cut as the most graphic fatality in the game. The thing about Art here is that he doesn't usually just go for the easy kill, he likes to follow it up with more and draw out his victims' suffering for as long as possible. He'll land the killing blow and knock a victim down for the count, then reach for a different weapon and go for style points. There's not a lot of real tension when Art is killing people, but sheer excess packs a punch all its own. Leone has said in interviews that he envisions Art as having a supernatural ability to keep his victims alive so he can torture them for longer, and while this is never implied in the film itself (the human body can take a lot, and I just assumed that's what was happening), I certainly buy it. All the while, Art's sick sense of humor is out in force, with David Howard Thornton once again making him feel like a silent Freddy Krueger between his prop comedy and his often bemused facial expressions.

The drawn-out nature of the kills is, unfortunately, also reflective of what is probably this movie's biggest problem. Leone made a slasher movie that is two hours and eighteen minutes long, and there were a lot of scenes that could've been cut for time. It did help with the character development to give the story more room to breathe, but there were also a lot of scenes that overstayed their welcome and slowed the pace of the story considerably. I can handle a long horror movie, but there are limits, and they come when it feels like scenes were left in less to serve the story and more because Leone couldn't bear to cut anything, no matter how minor. The subplot with Victoria, the lone survivor from the last movie, is a case in point. While I have no doubt it will come back into play for Terrifier 3, especially given the mid-credits scene, that was just the thing: it felt like it was building up for a sequel more than anything, putting the cart before the horse and being another similarity this has with a lot of blockbuster superhero movies. Furthermore, while LaVera and Thornton were both great as Sienna and Art, the rest of the cast was a mixed bag. Sienna and Jonathan's mother in particular frequently overacted and came just one step away from a character in a Saturday Night Live sketch, and a lot of the supporting cast didn't exactly shine either.

The Bottom Line

If you can handle over two hours of absolute fucking carnage, then Terrifier 2 is for you. It's a modern slasher classic with a lot to like for horror fans, and I can't wait to see how the next movie plays out.