#CRACK

[ryathenaughtykitsune]

@post-mortem-lullabies

"Emil, are you naming the fish again?"

I've been collecting these for a few weeks and I NEED MORE

[official-ao3-quotes]

“But, hmm, oh wait. I just remembered something,” Fox theatrically tapped his helmeted chin in thought, “you see, I’m also a Master Jedi.”

To Fox’s glee, the kriffer finally looked somewhat caught off guard by that statement. “Oh?”

“Yup,” said Fox, sliding into his Bullshit™ mode. “You’ve actually caught me doing my night job, here.” Fox gestured around at the situation with the clone armor and the cells and such.

“Usually I’m off bitchslapping the Sith and swinging my laser sword around like I own the place—”

“Lightsaber.” Vos corrected with amusement.

“A common misconception,” rebutted Fox. “We just tell people it’s called that so we’re actually taken seriously half the time. If you want to be technical about it, the direct translation for the ‘laser sword’ into Modern Republic Basic is a ‘swishy stabby.’ But that’s even worse than ‘laser sword,’ so we keep it secret.”

“But anyway,” Fox steamrolled, ignoring the way Vos’s jaw dropped. “I’m afraid that the Force is showing me something. Something…” Pause for effect. “…About you!”

“Something in your future, I see.” Fox put one hand to his temple and held out the other to Vos, fingers splayed like he was trying to feel something invisible, head turned like he was listening to something inaudible. “Your freedom, I see not! No, there is… you! In a padded cell! Being treated for space syphilis!”

“So I’m afraid, General,” Fox sneered, “That in regards to freeing you, I can’t be ordered, and I can’t be arsed.”

A pause.

Then, Vos collapsed into delighted, raucous laughter. Not really what Fox was going for, but at least the not-Jedi was no longer speaking.

For a good, long while, the man just laid there, clutching his stomach, completely disabled by his own wheezing laughter. Every time it seemed like Vos regained his composure, he repeated the words “swishy stabby” to himself and started right back up again. Fox just rolled his eyes and ignored his insane prisoner. A Jedi indeed.

- That Time Fox's Fat Tits Saved The Galaxy by Amity_Ax

( https://archiveofourown.org/works/50741554/chapters/128180440 )

[sunooslover]

PAIRING: OT7! best friend x reader

SUMMARY: 'i think I like him'

RATE: sfw

[aventurineswife]

So I have a reaaaally silly/stupid fic idea and pls I wantchu to humour me XP 🍮

So, Miyabi had sum accident which turns her into a gender bent that's literally a harumasa that's hotter, little more playful than normal and more serious (like imagine harumasa wielding her katana 😍

and reader is contemplating their feelings while harumasa watches in absolute horror as their s/o is thinking that miyabi (miyabai amiright XD imsorrybadlyplaceddadjoke-XP) is and could be better than him as a boyfie (like reader could've thought out loud or blushed a little too hard when interacting with miyabi)

Cue to him being a jealous pouty baby and acting all clingy and trying to prove his worth to reader, while reader either plays him like a fiddle or assures him nothing is gonna separate them XD

Ok I apologise fr the lengthy request but this seemed like a funny idea X3c

-🍮

“Still Hotter Than Miyabai”

Summary: When a training accident turns the serious, stoic Miyabi into a surprisingly hot, genderbent version of herself—playful, skilled, and sword-wielding—you find yourself just a little too flustered for Harumasa's liking. Suddenly faced with the idea that you might find “Miyabai” cooler, Harumasa spirals into a jealous, pouty mess. Determined to prove he’s still the superior boyfriend, he pulls out all the stops (and his blades) to win back your flustered heart.

Tags: Harumasa x Reader, Genderbend Miyabi, Fluff, Crack, Jealous!Harumasa, Clingy Boyfriend, Pining, Misunderstandings, Lighthearted Romance, Mild Angst, Reader Teasing Harumasa and Reassures Him.

Warnings: Brief Flustered Attraction, Jealousy and Insecurity (Lighthearted), Mild Cursing, Playful Possessiveness.

A/N: "Miyabai" is officially canon now for this context, thank you.

You weren’t expecting this.

No. No one was expecting this.

One moment, Miyabi was chewing out the rookie for improper sword posture in her usual, sharp-as-her-katana tone—and the next? An experimental Ether relic misfired in Section 6’s training facility, blinding light, loud whoosh, yadda yadda...

Now?

Miyabi was… Miyabai.

Still deadly. Still stoic. But somehow radiating this effortless, almost magnetic charm in her new form—like Harumasa with straight posture and terrifying eye contact. Tall, sharp-jawed, a glint of mischief behind those otherwise serious red eyes. Wielding Tailless like it was born in his hand. Literally a samurai dreamboat out of some anime cover art.

And you were blushing. Hard.

“...Whoa,” you murmured. Just loud enough.

Which was just enough for Harumasa—who had been watching from his usual half-reclined spot on a stack of ammo crates, one arm behind his head, bow unstrung—to snap his gaze to you. Eyes narrowed. Lips parted in offense. Betrayal practically oozing from his pores.

You didn’t notice. Too busy watching genderbent Miyabi slice an entire simulation dummy in half with such clean efficiency it made your spine tingle.

Harumasa noticed.

Hours later, you were leaning against the wall outside the medical wing, sipping on a milk tea while mentally re-evaluating every life decision that led you to momentarily thirst after your team leader's accidental magical clone. You were almost at peace with it.

Until—

“You looked like you were gonna ask her out.”

You blinked. Harumasa was standing beside you now, uncharacteristically upright. His hair was messier than usual, like he’d run his hands through it five times in a row out of sheer anxiety. His bright eyes were squinted, his mouth tugged downward in a rare, pouty scowl.

“Wha—are you pouting?”

“No,” he snapped. (He was.)

You bit your straw to suppress the grin. “Are you... jealous?”

“Of my boss turned magically hot samurai clone? Absolutely not. Why would I be jealous? I am me. The original. The superior Haru.”

“Oh my god, you are jealous.”

“I’m not—!” he threw up his hands. “You were blushing. I saw it. You turned redder than Miyabi’s eyes. Do you like her?”

You gave him a long, appraising stare. Then took another slow sip. “...He was pretty cool with the sword. Kind of graceful. Confident. Serious. Tall.”

“Stop.”

“Commanding presence.”

“Stop.”

“Reminds me of someone…”

Harumasa looked deeply betrayed. Like a cat whose nap spot was usurped. “You know what? Fine. Let’s go. Right now.”

“What?”

He dropped into a low crouch, pulling Dormant Tide from his back, then snapping it into its dual blades—Dormant Blossom and Dark Tide—like a damn movie protagonist. “I’ll prove it. I’m still your number one sword guy. Miyabai WHO? I’ll show you efficient violence in HD.”

You almost dropped your tea.

“Wait, Harumasa—”

“Fight me,” he barked, already walking to the sparring mats. “Or fight beside me. Doesn’t matter. Either way, you’re about to see who deserves your blushing.”

Ten minutes later, Harumasa had taken down six advanced Ethereal dummies with half his usual effort—hair slightly tousled, a soft sheen of sweat on his brow, eyes locked on you the entire time like a smug cat that brought you a bird.

“Impressed yet?” he asked, panting just a bit, blades at his sides.

You blinked. “...You really did all that just to get my attention?”

“Was it not worth it?”

You smiled, walking up to him and gently poking his forehead. “You dork. You had it from the moment you tossed sugar packets at the vending machine instead of drinking sweet coffee.”

He blinked. “Wait—that’s what got me the brownie points?”

“I’m dating you, Harumasa. Not... Miyabai.” You leaned in with a grin. “Though I’ll admit, the sword flip was hot.”

He smirked, eyes lighting up in triumph. “So you're saying I am the hotter one.”

“I didn’t say that—”

“Too late. I'm putting it on a t-shirt. ‘Still Hotter Than Miyabai’.”

You rolled your eyes. He slung an arm around your shoulder and leaned dramatically against you, fake-limping like his ego needed emergency Ether transfusion. “My pride was almost destroyed today. You're lucky I’m emotionally resilient.”

You kissed his cheek. “You're lucky I like pouty babies.”

“Hey, I am not a—wait. Is that what you’re into?”

You raised an eyebrow, “Maybe.”

He blushed. Hard.

“...I take back everything. Let Miyabi keep the katana. I’ve got all the weapons I need.”

You smirked. “Your blades?”

“No. Your love and my crippling need for validation.”

You laughed, and he finally relaxed—leaning into you with that lazy smirk that told you everything was right in his ridiculous little world again.

[inamagicalhallucination]

mori: and the transfer will be...

fukuzawa: would u hurry up, some of us have jobs

mori: you

fukuzawa: what

mori: i want you to transfer

fukuzawa:

fukuzawa:

ada:

dazai: what the fuck

yosano: is that even allowed

atsushi: uhh

junichiro: president... if you give me the go, i will get rid of him

ranpo: wtf we refuse

kunikida: what if we all transfer to overthrow the mafia

fukuzawa:

atsushi: ooh will all the mafia members then be ada, becuz thats a lot easier than my current 48309048 step plan to get akutagawa

dazai: can we kick out the ppl we dont like

yosano: can we set mori on fire

fukuzawa: that is a wonderful idea

mori: wait

fukuzawa: okay, i accept. the agency will come with me.

mori: what no, i just said you

fukuzawa: should you not be delighted that you are getting a group of powerful individuals under your command

mori: you were literally just talking about overthrowing me

fukuzawa: that never happened

dazai: so is wednesday good?

ranpo: yeah, maybe at 4 pm so i can sneak in a noon nap

[miuoshi]

( 🚨 ) A LOVER's LOVE LANGUAGE — SOMETIMES

✶ pairing ───, bf! idol! yoon jeonghan x fem! reader

mentions: crack, fluff, just two lovers bullying each other as a joke, established relationship, no face girl photo used for ft, smau

© miuoshi — all rights reserve. do not copy, translate, rewrite/modify, or repost my work on any other social media platform.

reblogs and likes are always helpful, thank you ♡

[hyeitsrim]

school pres. | (Y.JW) ⋆˚࿔

Wherein....Yang Jungwon, your school president, who catches your eye ever since that one night where he spooked you out.

⋮ ⌗ ┆➤ warnings ! 𝜗𝜚: death jokes | riki rly hates yn | slightly suggestive (if u squint) | no ending yet | jungwon lowkey texts like a serious boy ✦ smau

作者.ᐟ: pt 2 will be out soon!! comment to get tagged! also im thinking of creating a perm taglist but idk, so comment for that too ig <33

[kitten1060]

He's got the 'big dog just saw the ground disappear ' look

!!!

[yellowwwcrayon]

Chapters: 1/3 Fandom: Squid Game (TV 2021) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Hwang Inho | Front Man/Seong Gihun, Cho Sangwoo & Seong Gihun, Hwang Junho & The Salesman | The Recruiter (Squid Game), Hwang Junho & Seong Gihun, Hwang Inho | Front Man & Hwang Junho (Squid Game) Characters: Cho Sangwoo, Seong Gihun, Hwang Inho | Front Man (Squid Game), Hwang Junho (Squid Game), The Salesman | The Recruiter (Squid Game), Kang Noeul Additional Tags: seagull au, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Alternate Universe - No Squid Game (Squid Game), Would you still love me if I were a bird?, the answer is yes, because I'm also a bird, They're birbs, Junho identifies as a seagull Summary:

Gihun wasn’t like the other gulls.

He didn’t do the seasonal migration thing like the others. He liked to stay inland where the humans lived. There were plenty of food sources to choose from. His favorite was a tasty dumpster behind a sushi bar downtown. It was ruled by a gang of feral cats, but the occasional piece of uni was worth getting a claw to the face. Another nice spot was behind the mall where all the restaurants dumped their leftovers. And if Gihun wanted something healthy on a particular day, he’d head to one of the fish markets and steal a bite from an unfortunate stall.

His latest favorite haunt was the Golden Moon Stock Exchange tower. A little glasses-wearing man would come out a few times during the week and toss delicious things at Gihun while lighting up one of those crunchy little paper sticks.

(They're seagulls in this one.)

[curlyboys]

if tommy were a horse🐴

[the-storm-chaser]

Bread pillow...I don't know how she obtained it

(Ref under cut - these are very comfy)

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

An adaptation of Sherlock Holmes set in a world in which the fictional character/literary juggernaut Sherlock Holmes, and all the subsequent adaptations thereof, still exist.

Sherlock Holmes (pronounced Holl-mess, as he is constantly reminding people) just had the misfortune of having parents who really liked the books, and his attitude towards his fictional counterpart is pretty much the same as that of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

Sherlock runs a Youtube Theory channel called Mysteries Unwrapped with Sherlock Holmes. He has received no less than seven cease and desist letters from the Conan Doyle estate, all of which he has so faded managed to rebuff by pointing out that that's literally his name.

(No he won't change his name. He's Sherlock Holmes the real live human person. Let Sherlock Holmes the non existent fictional character change his name.)

John is Sherlock's flatmate. Sherlock almost refused to live with him once he realised that it would mean staying with a medical student named John, and only gave in once John pointed out that: a) he's a biomedical student, which is completely different from an md, and b) his surname isn't Watson.

It's now been three years, which is long enough for them to have developed a genuine friendship, and for John to have a) started working towards his PhD in biotechnology, and b) for him to start dating somebody with the surname Watson.

Sherlock can feel the narrative closing in.

His Youtube channel is meant to be focused on lost media, fan theories and stuff like that, but he keeps accidentally stumbling upon and then solving genuine crimes.

His brother Mycroft may or may not have chosen that name after he transitions specifically to annoy him.

He doesn't even live in London, but somehow the only flat they could afford was on a street named fucking Baker Street.

Sherlock Holmes and the Unescapable Power of the Narrative.

[balrogballs]

i'm a writer irl (can't say who because my agent would rightfully put me into a blender and press the button if i go and out myself as "balrogballs") and honestly the funniest and most humiliating incident of my life was the time my finished manuscript triggered a plagiarism flag with the publisher for two lines of prose in my literary fiction novel...

.... which was word for word similar to a paragraph in a certain explicit work on FFN starring elrond and his batsman from the hobbit films, aka that one elf that looked like he ate panic attacks for breakfast (i forget his name but it's Figwit II) where the lord of imladris bends said twink over his writing desk and gives him the battering ram treatment.

and if you think i had to sit in front of one if the biggest publishing companies in the world and admit that it was, in fact, me who wrote the fic where the lord of imladris bends said twink over his writing desk and gives him the battering ram treatment in order to avoid being wrongly flagged for plagiarism, you would be absolutely correct.

(yes they published the book)

[foerchen]

IN THE BATCAVE

Bruce: *sitting at Batcomputer minding his own business*

Jason: *getting ready for patrol*

Dick: *asks nicely*

Dick: Jay, could you hand me my escrimas?

Jason: *deadpans*

Jason: Go get them yourself, Dickface.

Tim: *walks in*

Tim: Jason, could you toss me my bo staff, please?

Jason: *no hesitation, tosses Tim his bo staff*

Dick: *shooketh*

Dick: Why do you help him and not me??? I'm your big bro, Little Wing!

Jason: Middle children have to stay together.

Dick: *confused af because Jay and Tim are his only brothers*

Tim: *curious*

Bruce: *frozen before turning around slowly*

Dick: Jason, you're the only middle child... right?

Jason: *laughs nervously*

Jason: Oh, would you look at that! Crime Alley is calling my name!

Jason: *runs*

---

SOMEWHERE IN NANDA PARBAT

Damian: *sneezes*

Damian: Somebody mentioned me.

---

LATER THAT EVENING

Talia: *on the phone with Bruce*

Talia: What! Me?! Hide a child of yours?!

Talia: *looks at Damian and a picture of Jason*

Talia: Never, Beloved.

[willow-scorp]

Loving the idea of the batbros being so overly protective of each other especially Tim. specifically when he starts dating and the idea of him having sex or god forbid KISSING someone comes up. (As if he hasn't gone through like half of the young justice team) They are less than okay with it all..

Tim: Bruce I want to invite kon over for dinner is that okay?

Bruce: that's fine but is there any particular reason you're asking me instead of him just showing up like usual?

Tim: be wants a more formal 'meet the parents' dinner.

Bruce: oh? So you're dating?

Tim: ya, for a couple months now.

Bruce: well that's great I'm happy fo-

Jason from across the cave: WHAT?!?!

-----

Later that night at dinner

Jason, and dick staring daggers at kon

Bruce, surprisingly the most calm about all of this: so, how did this relationship come about?

Kon: it kinda just happened I think. We both liked each other for a while

Tim: ya I don't think we realized until the spin the bottle game tho

Dick*MAJOR SPIT TAKE*

Jason: YOU DEFILED MY BROTHER??!?

Kon, sweating, crying, throwing up:

Damian with his phone out: theres kryptonite in the second cabinet Todd!!!

There is now a video circulating of Bruce Wayne's kids attacking Lex Luthor's son and it creates such a huge scandal that in order to calm things down Kon and Tim have to announce their relationship so the public doesn't think these billionaires'families are going to kill each other. They get labeled as the romeo and Juliette of gotham/metropolis