#ComplexFeelings

[in-tenebris-et-in-solitudine]

[open-doors]

It just feels like I'm falling, and everything is wrong. My heart aches, and a part of me wants to believe he'll be okay, but what I see and what I feel are miles apart. How am I supposed to be okay when I see him lying there in that hospital bed?

I've always tried to be kind, to be thoughtful, but this… this is just too much. My family, they broke me in ways they'll never understand. I thought if I just ran far enough away, I could find happiness, but this pain inside me is just too heavy to carry.

Sometimes, I don't even get myself. Why do I make everything so hard? Even when things look simple and peaceful, my mind turns them into something twisted and difficult. Just the other day, I was with my friends, laughing and talking, but deep down, I felt nothing. I wasn't happy. All I could do was question everything, wonder why life has to be so complicated for me.

All those years in therapy, all that painful healing, facing my past… it feels like it's all just slipping away. My doctor even said it wasn't okay, that it took so much to get here, and now it's like I'm just letting it all go.

If my family left, I'd still be drowning in this pain. I didn't face the truth; I ran from it. I just wanted them to care, to trust me, to see what they did and take responsibility. But they can't, or they won't, and I don't know how to accept that. You can't make someone apologize for something they don't believe they did.

These days, I just bury myself in work. It's the only way to escape what's real. I just want peace, I want love, to be loved. And more than anything, I just want to cry. I need a shoulder, someone to hold me. It sounds so simple, but it feels impossible to find.

It hurts so much to see my family hurting. And it hurts even more that I still love the people who caused me so much pain. If they were gone, I'd be completely shattered, broken forever. Nothing is ever easy for me. Maybe I can't truly love because I'm already broken inside.

#FamilyWounds #MentalHealthJourney #ComplexFeelings #SeekingSolace

[infohub-24]

Book Review: The Alice Network: A Novel, by Kate Quinn

Kate Quinn, The Alice NetworkI recently read Kate Quinn’s historical fiction novel set during World War 1 and the aftermath of WW2. At its core, the story revolves around Charlie St. Clair, an ambitious young American woman who is determined to get at what really happened to her cousin during WWI, and Eve Gardiner a former spy in terms that provide a thread back through time into the espionage of The Alice Network days.

It starts off with Charlie who goes to Europe in 1947 with her family. At the same time, she is fighting against expectations that have been placed on her as well as dealing with some trauma of losing Rose (her cousin) during the war. Determined to locate types of roses as well as find out what occurred to her, Charlie complies with Eve Read more...

#TheAliceNetwork

#typesofroses

#WorldWar

#throughline

#establishparallels

#AliceNetworkBenefitsAtmetabook24

#complexfeelings

#besthistoricalfictionbooks

[foreverneverwild]

you know when you hug someone that you love and they smell like sun? that. that is my favorite feeling.

[humanengineers]

Grief, loss, burnout: Talking about complex feelings at work

[speremint]

literally just downloaded webtoon only for BnR

LOL You’re valid and I’m flattered!!

[linktoo-doodles]

can i have the blank template of that sansmaeda meme holy shit

ghhgjhg here you go (I don’t know if the resolution is ruined sending it like this)

[the post in question]

[completelycorrectnarutoquotes]

your bday is valentines day? thats fucking adorable, happy birthday

Sorry for the late reply, but haha aww, thank you!!!

[badnarutoscreencaps]

questionable ask.

Im going to respond to every one of these with a gaara meme. 

[mihaelkeehl]

am i the only person who headcanons L as colourblind,, do you have any headcanons to share,,,

complexfeelings said:REGARDING THAT I MEAN LIKE,, LIKE MONOCHROME COLOUR BLIND

I personally see him as red/green colourblind as that’s the most common in men! So here’s some for that!

- L getting frustrated when his teachers write on the whiteboard with red blue or green markers. How many times has he told them that he cannot see the colours? Probably about a billion at this point. He can see the colours but not the shapes it makes out. It’s infuriating

- Light showing him two different shirts he likes, one is light blue, the other is more of a teal. L stares at him blankly when Light asks which he prefers. They both look the same to him.

- ‘Misa if you could not write your emails in sixteen different colours I would be grateful’

- Getting annoyed when Matsuda points at colours and asks L what they are. He can see them just not the shades

- Why is everything blue why is everything blue. Why does every website need to be blue

[blackkatmagic]

inhales am i the only one who ships nejinaru?? please,,

I think it’s one of those pairings that a lot of people ship but not many people write for, if that makes sense? I know pretty much everyone I talk to ships it to some degree (myself included, because how can you not), but the tag is...thin. Sadly. :(

[daily-karkat]

*sobbing* im lov mod spec's karkles

god me too

[humanengineers]

Grief, loss, burnout: Talking about complex feelings at work

[dadoodirtyshow]

#MorningMood #SundayMorning #Complexfeelings 🤔🤧😒🤓😎✊🏽

[rethinkela]

Current status: I'm at capacity with anxiety and pride at the announcement of Mustang closing Thursday and Friday. It is the right decision. #ComplexFeelings We do have outstanding education leaders in the state at the district levels. #Okc #okcthunder #oklahomateacherwalkout

— I'm #investED. (@mrjoshflores) April 4, 2018

[poeticethic]

I wish I could capture nature in perfect words and sentences, doing right to the soft blues and pinks and the lights of the canvas that is the sky. I wish I could catch songs in paintings, including all the words and sounds and meanings, and mix them with my feelings to make it all-encompassing.

I wish I could bring dimensions and universes together and make it all one.