#Danny has issues and a bit of PTSD

[monstera-modd]

Becoming (a) Man’s Best Friend

Part 1 O Part 2

To be Living Again

Many things have changed since Danny was a kid.

He told his parents about being Phantom, and… they didn’t take it well. But it was okay! At least the only thing they did was tell him that he couldn’t stay with them, so he just moved in with Sam and Tucker.

Then there was the whole “Young Daniel, you are now the Ghost King!” speech that Clockwork had gone on and on about. Training for that job –one he never really wanted�� was tiring, but he had gotten the hang of it over the last six or so years.

He also learned that, since accepting and becoming king, he’s gained a broader power set. He can now mold and stretch the ectoplasm around him and within himself, essentially allowing him to shapeshift. (Which is so cool!)

His core has also shifted a bit, as well as his obsession, which now includes space– in both the literal and physical sense. Frostbite explained it as his presence taking up all the space around him, either absorbing everything within it or influencing it. But he’s still having a hard time really understanding what that all means.

He thinks he understood more of what Frost was talking about when his universe ended. The GIW had gone overboard, and in a desperate attempt to save the Infinite Realms, Danny –being king– ended his universe. The feel of the space in… well, space, was an odd sensation; almost hollow. It wasn’t as bad when he found out that all of Amity Park had been turned into ghosts, though, seeing as nearly all of them were liminal or more from the ecto exposure.

Having Sam, Tucker, and Jazz with him was a huge weight off his shoulders –one he didn’t even know he had. They were his everything– his family and support system. And sure, he had Ellie and Dante (the whole Danny, Dani, and future Danny thing was a lot), but Jazz and his friends had always been there with him. Fitting, really, that they were with him from the beginning to the end.

Though now… he was just annoyed with them.

“Danny, you need a break! You’ve turned into a workaholic!” Sam stressed.

“You’re just lucky you can’t work yourself to death, dude, seeing as you’re, well… dead.” Tucker grinned at his own pun, which Danny would always appreciate, but he still held a serious tone.

“So,” Sam took a deep breath. “Me, Tuck, and Jazz talked with Frost and CW, and we decided it’s time to intervene.” She looked pointedly at Danny’s turned face. (No, he wasn’t pouting, thank you.)

“You need a break, Danny. This isn’t good for your physical health or your mental health,” Jazz soothed, like always. “We’ve decided to give you a vacation.”

Danny snapped his head toward her, mouth open, protest rising in his throat. But Jazz just held up her hand.

“Before you say anything– yes, we can take care of things here. Danny, the realms ran for years before you came along. They can run just fine for a couple of months while you’re away.” She sat silently, waiting for him to get his bearings before answering.

With a sigh, Danny begrudgingly admitted that, okay, maybe he had been working a bit too much. And now that he was focusing on that fun little fact, he could almost feel the way his core ached, his ectoplasm screaming– like a wound that kept getting reopened.

Danny flinched a bit.

“Okay, yeah.” He leaned back into his chair, running a hand down his face. “Maybe I do need a break.”

He felt better seeing their faces lighten, a bit of the stress they had for him lessening. That much, he could see. And it made him feel a little bad, realizing he’d gotten so consumed with work that he hadn’t noticed he’d –accidentally, mind you– hurt his family.

But it’s okay. He can do this.

Just take a break. Not worry at all about his friends, family… the whole of the realms… or the new planets that were close to aligning.

He took a deep breath in and pulled at his hair a bit. Not the best move. If the look Jazz was sending him was anything to go by, she knew it too. But it helped ground him.

Kept him in this space.

“So, where were you guys thinking?” He glanced between all three of them, each of their smiles slowly growing.

“Clockwork is sending you to the living realm again– through the reincarnation cycle,” Sam said softly. She had probably also picked up on his little slip. Nothing ever seemed to get past her. She was almost as scary as Jazz when anyone she loved was distressed.

He frowned, now registering what she’d said. Jazz, having seemingly never taken her eyes off him, corrected that immediately.

“Danny,” she paused, biting her lip a bit. Slowly, she came closer and laid a hand on his shoulder. “You can’t not go back to the living realm. You know this. It’s what helps keep you healthy. What with you being half-alive still.” She took a breath, facing him fully now. “Frost explained it. Your human half is in hibernation right now –stagnant– while simultaneously slowing your ghost half down.”

She had now put both hands on his shoulders, bending down to look him in the eye.

“You are both alive and dead. You need to take care of both, or both will start to die, Danny. And you can’t die on me now, okay?”

She was growing a little misty-eyed. Danny did his best not to tear up as well.

“Okay.” He sucked in a sharp breath. “Okay, I’ll think it over and get back to you guys, alright?” He looked at Jazz, then glanced over at Sam and Tuck.

They all smiled.

“That’s all we can ask of you, dude.” Tucker punched his shoulder.

They stayed and talked a little more about life– after life. Danny found out that, in his work-obsessed state, Sam had been working with Undergrowth, exploring all the abandoned islands and turning them into lush forests and parks. Tucker had moved to Technus’s lair, supposedly working on a secret project. And Jazz, to the shock of no one, had moved to the Far Frozen, helping ghosts either move on or, if not, settle with the knowledge that they could be happy and content in this life.

That night, after saying goodnight to his friends and family, Danny lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking about what it would be like to go back.

Would he have a mom and dad again? Siblings?

What if they found out about him being half-dead and hated him?

Or, worse– what if they accepted him? Loved him regardless?

That’s what scared him the most, he thought. He knew how to deal with unloving or neglectful parents, but… loving ones? Jazz loved him, he knew that. But their situation was different. She was practically his parent, spending most of her life protecting and caring for him. He felt like being accepted was forced or maybe just instinctual for her at that point. (She tells him all the time that’s not true, but he can’t help it.)

But real, unconditional love and acceptance?

He honestly didn’t think he could handle that.

Something nudged his head.

He uncurled to see what it was. (When did he curl into a ball?)

Cujo wagged his tail happily at having Danny’s attention and licked his face.

It was a shock. Danny couldn’t help the wet laugh that escaped him. He hadn’t even realized he’d been crying. Having emotions was a real bitch sometimes. Not that Cujo minded—he just squirmed his way under the comforter to snuggle with him.

This… Danny thought. This is what I want to do. It's not far from protection; comfort practically falls under the same category. He can be someone's best friend like Cujo is to him. He can help someone through a panic attack or protect them from a bad guy. It’d be weird at first –what with being, well, a dog– but he has time to get used to it.

Sleeping that night was peaceful, his mind free of thoughts and worries. With Cujo cuddled beside him and the thought that he could help both his other half and one of his obsessions, he finally felt at ease.

Tomorrow, he’d talk to Clockwork.

________________

AHHHHHHH I'm so excited to write more for this! Expect lots of feels from this story going forward though.

Based on this Tumblr repost story: https://www.tumblr.com/monstera-modd/779134794202284032/oh-my-god-this-is-the-cutest-shit-ever-might?source=share

Also come check it out on my AO3!

[phantomwithbreakfast]

DANNYMAY DAY 28: Favourite AU

Day 27 • Day 29

⟢ I tried to rush this, but still did wildly 6 hours on this. Dude, for real. Sometimes I just hate my brain. And I feel like I can’t draw today. So, I’m sorry if the anatomy looks a bit off xD.

⟢ Okay, so. Favourite AU! Does all of this technically count as an AU? Pitch Pearl, Ghost Hunger, probably Ghostnip too. Danny’s not fourteen anymore, he’s eighteen and still aging. He’s depressed, has PTSD, major identity issues, and yeah—Phantom talks to him in his head. It’s kind of like Dissociative Identity Disorder, but ghost-coded. Momma’s boy label, but it’s drenched with betrayal—because she helped carve him open. Literally. Captured by the GiW, and his parents finished the job. Vivisection. Dissection. Like he isn’t even their son, because they think Phantom is a parasite that’s clinging to Danny, and Danny is Phantom’s host—Phantom possessing Danny. Vlad being Danny’s biological father. Yeah. That should be it, I think.

⟢ Poses are inspired by a pin I came across on Pinterest!

[starry-bi-sky]

"Stillborn? No, no, still born." -- DPXDC AU

Based off a comment I saw where Bruce knew about Talia's pregnancy in the earlier comivs, and was ecstatic to be a father. So much so that Talia feared he'd give up being Batman for it, so when she gave birth she put the baby (Damian) on a doorstep and (seemingly) told Bruce that the baby was stillborn.

Instead of Damian, that baby was Danny! Meet Daniel Brown, the 14 year old foster kid whose been living with the Fenton family for the last two years. He's about two years older than Damian.

His last name, "Brown", was a generic surname given to him because the note he came with didn't have one on it. It just had the name "Danyal" on it, but albeit 'Daniel' was the one that had been put into the system for, I'll be totally frank here, racism reasons.

(I looked it up to make sure, and it's generally not permissible for foster parents to change the names of their foster kids even if it's a permanent residency, and for that reason Danny doesn't have the last name "Fenton".)

Danny's got ✨~issues!~✨ He's been through a handful of homes growing up, most of them terrible for a variety of reasons. Which has, as a result, left lasting scars. He's generally a very sweet kid, just very distrustful and jumpy. He's got the signs of a kid suffering from PTSD, and a handful of other issues including attachment and insomnia. His inferiority complex could rival Damian's, and that's going to make for an interesting mutual hatred for when they finally meet.

(something I'll get into later)

He still has the blanket he was found in. It's made of a very high quality material and is a beautiful emerald green with little golden thread accents, it's high quality as a result has Danny clinging onto a desperate hope that his bio family might be out there, and the only reason they gave him up was because of some outside factor. It's been taken a few times in old foster homes, and he's flipped out each time.

While he still calls Jack and Maddie by their names, he likes them well enough. The bar isn't that high though, and while they're some of the better foster parents he's had, "better" doesn't equal "safest". Their laboratory malpractice. Basically, C- Fenton Parents. They're negligent by virtue of being engrossed in their work, but they do care equally about Jazz and Danny. So he doesn't hold it against them that much.

He kinda prefers it that way, their loud affection is overwhelming and Danny doesn't know what to do with their attention, even if he craves it. It's a bit of a complicated situation.

They took in Danny because they genuinely wanted another child, but didn't want a big age gap between them and Jazz. It was actually Jack's idea to foster, and they discussed it with Jazz beforehand. She was all for the idea. Thus, a handful of weeks later, a ton of paperwork, and inspection later, and Daniel Brown entered their household with a trash bag in one hand and eyes like shards of stained glass.

His relationship with Jazz is kinda strained, but that's by virtue of her constant psychoanalyzing and helicoptering. Like with the parents, Danny's overwhelmed by the attention and also just, straight up doesn't like the fact that she's telling him that there's something wrong with him. He knows that, thank you. He pushes her away when she does this.

Other than that though? When Jazz isn't smothering him and is acting like an actual sibling and not a third parent, they're pretty close, and Danny really likes her. They've hung out a few times on their own volition, and Jazz showed him how to take better care of his long hair.

His school situation,, pretty similar to canon with the bullying, albeit with a few more instances of him blowing a fuse and lashing out against his attackers. He's a rather angry kid, but it's quiet. It builds up, piles on top of itself, until eventually, like a volcano, it erupts and burns everyone within radius.

Danny's got a fire core, not an ice core. Phantom's hair is made of white magma; thick and heavy, setting itself on fire when his anger runs hot. When he gets angry, his skin begins to char and split open to reveal pulsating lava underneath, and he crackles and pops like a raging forest fire.

I haven't decided yet on how he meets the batfam -- i've got two ideas but they're both in opposition to each other, and drastically alter how the rest of the plot goes. But I do know that him and Damian hate each other in the beginning. And it has nothing to do with inheritance or "being the blood son" -- although their blood relation absolutely plays the major role in their disdain for each other.

Simply put, they're jealous of each other for the same thing: thinking that the other was wanted.

Damian hates Danny because, unlike Damian, Bruce knew about Danny since conception and wanted him from the moment he heard about him. He had a whole nursery set up, and still does. He never took it down -- just locked the door. Damian was thrust upon Bruce without warning, and he feels like he forced himself into the family. And while on some level Damian knows and understands that Bruce wants him and loves him as much as his other children, that doubt and feeling of inferiority still remains. He looks at Danny and sees him with what Damian always feels he needs reaffirmed.

Meanwhile, Danny hates Damian because he looks at him and sees him with everything Danny's ever wanted. He hates him because Damian grew up knowing both of their parents, with one of them for most of his life, and then moved over to the other. There was never a moment where Damian was (seemingly) left to doubt his place within the family. Damian was raised with the very same woman who left Danny on a doorstep, with no clue to his identity beyond a little green blanket and a note with only a first name. Damian was wanted everywhere, and Danny was wanted nowhere. Damian is Danny's replacement in his eyes.

(It's the little revelation that Damian grew up with their mother that elevates Danny from being quietly envious of Damian to downright despising him. What did Damian do, that Danny didn't? He could live with Damian living with Bruce -- Bruce didn't know Danny was even alive. But him living with their mom? Are you fucking kidding him?)

Damian never outright attacks Danny physically, but it's not like he hides that he didn't like Danny. Meanwhile, Danny, in all his repressive anger, quietly despised him from a distance until finally one wrong snide side-comment has him blowing up and it becomes a screaming match. They're both just enough similar to each other that when they look at each other they really just see a mirror.

They'll work it out together, eventually. But it'll be ugly and cruel and explosive, and they'll start mending the bridge to become brothers in more than just blood relation in the end.

But yeah, stillborn Danny has... a lot going for him.

[kieranhqs]

[ jacob anderson, cis man, he/him ] — whoa! DANIEL SUTTON just stole my cab! not cool, but maybe they needed it more. they have lived in the city for NINE YEARS, working as an EMERGENCY NURSE PRACTITIONER. that can’t be easy, especially at only 33 YEARS OLD. some people say they can be a little bit BASHFUL and INDECISIVE, but i know them to be DEPENDABLE and COMPASSIONATE. whatever. i guess i’ll catch the next cab. hope they like the ride back to QUEENS! — (penny, 24, gmt, she/her, none)

fullname:  daniel rené sutton. nickname(s): danny ( his preferred choice ), dan. age:  thirty-three. birthday: november 12th. gender / pronouns:  cis man ,�� he / him. orientation:  bisexual / biromantic. place of birth: new orleans, louisiana current residence: queens, new york. languages: english, french, spanish & asl. height: 5'8. personality: loyal, empathetic, obsessive, stubborn.

( tw ; car accident, drunk driver, injury, depression & ptsd. )

born in new orleans, daniel was primarily raised by his mother ( originally from baton rouge ) and sister, as his father ( originally from queens ) travelled a lot for work.

his kind-hearted nature and seemingly tireless desire to help people made of his choice of nursing for a career unsurprising. daniel graduated at the top of his class in his bsn and started work in nola as soon as he could.

the relocation to queens around a year later was the first and really only truly impulsive decision danny ever made. he'd been thinking about moving out of louisiana whilst still studying, but figured he'd never be brave enough to do it. he'd joke the endless teasing from his sister about it was the motivator.

he settled in queens, discovering he loved it more than he could ever dream of. with the goal of becoming a nurse practitioner in mind and the solidification of his love for emergency medicine, he took the exam to become a certified emergency nurse and a handful of other certifications. maybe not a necessary step, but one he enjoyed doing -- it felt like progress.

the next step was to get his msn, something he opted to do online. ( TW ) was cycling home from a night shift one morning when he was hit by a drunk driver at a crossing. he woke a couple of days later to a shock ( and thinking that it was funny that someone who worked in emergency medicine would be surprised by his injuries ). daniel had been lucky, really. at least, that's what people said -- at the time he could only think that was an unbelievably cruel thing to say. his right leg had been amputated ; initially below the knee but complications arose and so he ended up an above knee amputee. otherwise, he was pretty much unscathed. a smattering of scars here and there the only other thing to show for his ordeal.

not unexpectedly, daniel was diagnosed with ptsd and had fallen into depression immediately following the accident and suffered during much of his recovery. he refused to even think about his life beyond, let alone work ; his msn was paused and he insisted he would never go back to it for a while. eventually and no doubt entirely thanks to the efforts of friends, family & the professionals around him daniel came round.

by no means have either of those things become a non-issue in his life ( the level of pain he's in & the prevalence of depression are inextricably linked ), but they have dissipated significantly and well, when all else fails… there’s always throwing yourself into work or looking after someone else when you don't want to deal with your own problems. ( TW END )

since the accident just over a year and a half ago, daniel has completed his msn and settled into his role as an enp and overjoyed with the achievement of his goal.

headcanons

definitely the black cat to @jackfm's golden retriever. speaking of cats, daniel has an orange cat called sidney ( sid ) who is a rescue and probably his best bud.

accent is kind of mess. the nola tinge ( non-rhotic, th = d pronunciation) ) is definitely at the forefront, but it's also influenced by the accents of his family from other areas of louisiana and queens. danny is very soft-spoken, borderline mumbly ( kinda will lamontagne-esque if ur familiar with criminal minds asdfak ) but also very aware that this can make him even more difficult to understand so he def has a 'phone / work voice ' he uses to be clearer.

big good samaritan vibes. he has a particular set of skills and Will show up with an advanced medical kit ready to fix anything he can if need be. also BIG into music. plays piano & guitar ( mostly acoustic bc that's his personal preference ) and secretly has a very nice voice but he'd probably actually drop dead if someone ever mentioned that.

probably an ambivert, but also shy as hell. he's definitely got a lot less shy since starting work just out of necessity but still prefers to blend into the background at social events and with people he doesn't know. it's something he's trying to work on. has a massive heart, his friendship is not hard to win but damn near impossible to shake off ( not least bc he knows he was sometimes an A+ asshole in recovery and anyone who stuck around through that deserves at least the same energy from him. )

wanted connections

literally everything pls. best friend, good friends, a bad / good influence who encourages him to socialise & get out of his comfort zone more, ex & present day crushes / flings, neighbours, flirtationship, exes & co workers.

[lieutenantbiscute]

So I’ve been thinking about it a while and the rise boys are gonna be different then they are in the show. Like splinter was hella depressed and that affected how the kids grew up

Like Raph was the oldest and had to play parent when dad couldn’t

Leo didn’t get enough attention or praise so he started doing it himself making him look full of himself

Donnie also didn’t get enough attention causing him to seek it out wherever he could sometimes ignoring red flags

Mikey had to be the family therapist to take care of his brothers mental health because no one else could

But being raised by the 12 boys? They’d be better off. Even just a little bit. I think some stuff would still shine through but maybe for different reasons. In Japanese culture who is the oldest sibling means a lot. Splinter raised Leo like that and I think wether he means to or not he’s gonna treat Ralphie the same way (Raph doesn’t want to do that to him coz he saw what a toll it took on Leo) which means Ralphies not gonna go savage mode when he’s alone or have as bad separation anxiety

Leon and Danny are going to get enough attention and praise here meaning Leon for sure is gonna seem less full of himself maybe even have less self esteem issues. Danny is way less likely to ignore red flags because an adult showed some interest in him

And Mikey might still have dr delicate touch but I feel like that would come about more as being the youngest and needing a tough personality to clash with his brothers

Tho of course spending that time with Draxum is defo gonna leave it’s mark on the kids (but that’s another ask)

The boys are definitely better off in the au!

A fun Idea that kinda came from this was Ralphie and Leon sharing the leader role once Sensei Leo makes the call. Ralphie as eldest HAS been carrying the burden of leader for a while so Leo decides the have him split leadership with Leon early on.

This leads to a bit of tension between Ralphie and Leon early on but the two talk it out, and talk with Leo about it. Leo knows the burden of Eldest Son so he wants to lessen it by splitting it up between two.

Few years down the line Leon and Ralphie and full functioning leaders of the younger Hamato’s. Hell even sometimes they let Danny and Mikey call the shots to have them get a feel for leadership!

With Danny and Leon both definitely get all the attention they wanted when they were younger (my Mona and Uncle Mikey respectively) so if anything they reallly lean into the theater kid aspect but without the need for attention nor constant validation. They know how good they are.

They do still have huge egos though because of it. But recognize much more obvious red flags now.

Mikey not having to use Dr. Delicate touch as often leads to the persona being left at its early stages of Mikey being is say emotionally sensitive to those around him? Like he can read a room in an instant and can read people better. Just because the boys weren’t raised by Rise splint doesn’t mean he hasn’t seen PTSD episodes and the like.

Very much a person who still tries to help everyone emotionally.

Ralphie definitely has more confidence in his brothers, though he still haggles a bit about Little Mikey going out on a mission alone. Who knows his brothers can handle themselves pretty well in a fight, Leon and his silver tongue, Danny and his use of brain games and Mikey with his mastery of ‘Ninja Vanish’.

They can work well on their own and greater when together. Ralphie definitely heads a more ‘bad cop’ vibes to Leon’s ‘suave-cop’, which he uses to his advantage with his size and appearance.

His still a softhearted turtle under that spiky shell, and yes sometimes he doesn’t like being seen as the scary one but it has its advantages! Especially when you’re well trained in a fight.

[issela-santina]

GIF: Tranquil but clad in black, armed to the teeth, and with shades on his eyes, a vengeful Angel greets the seething old townsfolk with a throaty, commanding “Morning.”

relatable things about Hot Fuzz baby blonde buzz-cut bastard (affectionate) protagonist Nicholas Angel when you're autistic:

his thinking behind buying Danny a Japanese peace lily, i.e. “I have no idea what he likes but he seems to like me so maybe I can give him something I like?”

extreme go-getter + workaholic, which is kinda what happens if your hyperfixation is a popular occupation/ambition and you're encouraged by your folks instead of put down for it?

police are usually sad that they can't chill out, but this particular guy has a lot of anxiety and possible PTSD that the Sandford bastards, particularly the Andys, gaslit into paranoia

needs a bit of time to adjust to a new space; thrives in routine and familiarity and of course, the drama

takes some things literally and by literally I mean he already has a mundane episode headcanon of how much paperwork would have to be done about the events in a piece of buddy cop fiction

and then is mocked when he does incorporate metaphor?

algorithmic influence, at least judging by how he (1) repeats “by the power of Grayskull” from Danny, (2) vibes along to Thatcher's nsfw humor after a while, (3) enforces vocabulary updates, (4) uses the graffiti-spraying teens to his own advantage

introvert who cannot smile, small talk, or joke if it's not important to his interests

apophenia (i.e. you see patterns! something's up! what if!?), and then when his assumptions are later disproven and he's facing that the truth is even pettier than he thought, he really just wants to scream MAKE IT MAKE SENSE?!

uncle who made him believe in law enforcement was sent to prison? chief of police turns out to be the man behind the mass murders? disappoint them both, he didn't ace political science and sociology to accept their bullshit

not a fan of being forced to go to church and shit but has a moral compass and a sense of justice sharper than swords

mostly gives zero shits about what gender of person he's in love with?? just loves Danny because Angel has hardly ever met people up close who really encourage him to pursue his passion and do his best (which literally every cop in his midst both in the Met and in Sandford actively restrained him from doing)

cultural notes:

sadly the usual caricature of autism is a white boy who can't talk much; Angel is verbal and possibly hyperlexic and also white people have issues like when they lumped autism with schizophrenia just a few centuries ago

Angel is also not as sensorially spiky as even autistics' general sense of what being autistic is like? he's just really hyperfocused (however, the notebook kinda helps him process info when he's overloaded and if he's not with it, he takes a bit longer)

[ssvperboy]

muse is low for the active threads ive yet to reply to, so this is a starter call i guess!

like this for a starter lol! MUTUALS ONLY (sorry). please specify a muse, friends. it really helps me! 😅

options are pretty limited because my brain is kinda BLEH lmao but here are the muses you can choose from:

Thiago Miranda (Xolo Maridueña) — he/him, 24, has 3 jobs and a dead dad, relatively smart dude but slacks a lot, is a bit of a jokester 

Noah Prince (Tom Holland) — he/him, 22, graphic design is his passion, english exchange student who prefers living outside of the country, outgoing and excitable but also shy around pretty people!

Anakin Skywalker (Logan Shroyer) — he/him, 21, loves music and is in school for music production, has a service dog (PTSD), angry and sad but also just a soft baby, has a lot of issues and i love that about him :)

Giovanni Zingaro (Brenton Thwaites) — he/him, 25, is technically his dad’s legacy (that’s not good), is a BAD GUY but a good man, is himself 300% of the time which means u gotta accept even the ugliest parts of him or he won’t fuck with u 

Lorenzo Zingaro (Danny Ramirez) — he/him, 23, wants to be lawyer but also has to kill ppl :(, is really sweet (a lil baby!) and loves to spend money, speaks super well but can be ticked off quick as hell 

Dirt Eastwood (Tanner Buchanan) — they/them, 21, has no filter or brain really (if “no thoughts, head empty” was a person), raised in a hippie cult basically, says the darnedest things (they are so cute 🥹)

Juniper Triton (Brigitte Lundy-Paine) — they/them, 25, loves running and also the water (future marine biologist!), a demi-god/merperson lmao, child of triton, basically raised their lil bro tokyo, very parently, a lil insensitive sometimes

Luna lux (Camilla Mendes) — she/her, 23, kind of a rich bitch but is pretty sensitive, is taking business but her passion lies in literature, has a strong friend group (skate, thiago, travis and angel), would fuck ur dad if u piss her off

Elena Valentina Machado (Bruna Marquezine) — she/her, 26, new muse, a fashion girly from a pretty well off and important brazilian family (grandfather is the owner of a soccer team :)), literally could’ve gone pro in volleyball BUT she has asthma and really wanted to break into the fashion world, a cutie patootie who usually loves things more than people (but she’s learning)

[ashintheairlikesnow]

Feeling very emotional about how you depict the trauma of having abuse in a household which isn't directed at you. Ryan and Izzy mean a lot to me. It really isn't something which is talked about enough, especially when it causes PTSD and huge guilt. (I know Izzy is also abused but I mean in the context of witnessing one parent abusing another). I'm just blown away by how nuanced and compassionate your depiction of trauma is.

Ryan and Danny very much hit the Golden Child/Scapegoat dynamic of emotional abuse, and while Ryan has it "easy", he also struggles with the reality of what that has meant for Danny, and with guilt and regret over the times when they were young that he allowed Danny to take the blame for him, or didn't speak up or try to defend him.

As an adult, he does his best to make up for it, knowing that he can't. But he and Danny are inseparable and always were, regardless of whatever else happens to them.

But, yeah, I think there's a particular kind of awful sharp guilt that the Golden Child can live with when they realize what it meant for the Scapegoat child.

As for Izzy, @comfy-whumpee and I have at length about how their Jax and Izzy become essentially unhealthily codependent, because Izzy is already forced to essentially be a second parent to her infant brother even when she is only four years old - she knows how to change his diapers and can get out one of his readymade bottles or snacks when he's hungry. She echoes her father's actions in turning down food if it means her little brother might not have enough, because the example she has of a parent who loves her is a parent who is forced to accept abuse to keep himself and his children alive and together.

One thing about Izzy is that she and Jamie undergo very different early childhoods. Izzy is four years old when Jax escapes and retains some fairly clear memories and fears. She has a lot of nervous issues, is diagnosed with severe anxiety, struggles to speak up in school and with severe delays in her social development and some significant academic delays, because she is so scared all the time that her brain struggles to soak up and create the kind of social connections other kids her age are making. Jax (and the other servants) did what they could but Izzy suffered from a chaotic mix of Jax's love and Savvie's neglect or outright violent hostility, and her development is very affected by it.

Also, Jax was so overwhelmed and traumatized himself that he would often need to step away from parenting, and while Izzy and Jamie would be watched by Hannah, Izzy was keenly aware nonetheless that sometimes her father seemed like he couldn’t bear to be near her.

Jamie was a year old, and so he has no memories of Savvie directly. But he also has nightmares more often than is altogether normal for a small child as he grows up, and he reflects and responds to Izzy and Jax's trauma adaptations with his own - he's a little bit of a class clown (his ADHD feeds into that), he's light-hearted and always smiling. He focuses on drawing the two of them out of their fears as best he can without even realizing consciously that he's doing it. He also grows up knowing his father and sister both have complicated plans for what to do if Savvie somehow returns.

I wanted to show that while Izzy's trauma doesn't just fade, even though the main cause was during her early childhood. She retains a sense of being a 'second parent' to Jamie even after Kieran enters their lives and is their dad as much as Jax is. When there is the slightest hint of risk or danger, Izzy switches back into Jamie's Mom mode.

I don't know. I feel like there is often this sense in fiction of kids being so resilient, but resilience doesn't mean you don't still have to get through it, day by day. It doesn't mean it goes away. And so much of our brain development is affected by our early treatment. But it doesn't have to define us.

[shinygoldstar]

Snowflake part 5 (DannyMay Scar)

*TW: flashbacks of portal accident- do they count as PTSD symptoms? (I'm sorry Danny you don't come out of accidents like this without trauma D:)

Part 1 | Part 4 | AO3 | Part 6

Maddie frowned. Opening a side cabinet, she took out a digital thermometer and handed it over to Danny while pulling out a chair from the desk next to her. "Here Danny, you can sit down on this chair and can you check your temperature for me please?" Meanwhile, she took Danny's left arm into her hands and lifted up his shirt sleeve to examine the glowing veins. She waved Jack over, "Jack can you please pass me the ecto reader? The one we use to check for radiation levels?" She didn't see Jack nodding but automatically took the reader when he passed it to her without taking her eyes off Danny's arm. Holding it over Danny's arm, she pressed the scan button, "Sam or Tucker, can one of you please hold the reader?" Sam quickly took over holding the device. "Thank you", Maddie said absently as she traced the veins up to Danny's neckline. "Danny you'll have to take off your shirt. We only had one ecto contamination case before this and your reaction is different from theirs. We'll need to take your measurements to determine how to decontaminate it."

 The machine beeped. Maddie looked at the screen. "4.8 That's- actually pretty high. Danny? Where were you when you said you got shocked?"

 Danny froze. "Umm-" he began. He looked at his friends, eyes pleading for help.

 Sam intervened, "He was at-"

 "Let him speak for himself, Sam." Maddie interrupted, looking at her son, "It's fine Danny, you can tell us. This is more important than you sneaking down into the lab Danny. We won't ground you this time for entering the lab unsupervised but please tell us where you got shocked at." Maddie implored pleadingly.

 "I- i-it was dark- the wall-" Danny stuttered out. Flashes of bright white light, followed by pain, hot, Hot, HOT, more pain. A scream rang out from somewhere, multiple voices screaming. All went dark. Silence. "-tripped-" His body felt tingly all over like he slept in a bad position. His arms and legs felt like noodles. Someone was saying something.

 "Danny- Danny. Are you alright?" Maddie gently tapped his right arm a few times to get his attention. She took the forgotten thermometer from his hand, pursing her lips. "97°F, that's still in the normal range but you do look a bit peaky" she observed, noting his sweaty pallor in the wan light. She quickly slipped off her gloves and took Danny's right hand into hers, two fingers lightly pressed against the inner part of his wrist. After a minute she released his hand gently and stood up "Your heart rhythm seems fine and so are your heart rate. Let's get you to sleep early and if you're still peaky tomorrow we'll take you to the hospital."

 They shuffled up the stairs leaving the eerily glowing circle arc behind them. "That's enough excitement for today I think", Maddie tried to lift up the atmosphere with false cheer, the worry lines on her face failed to lift the atmosphere, "Danny needs to get some rest. You two can visit him again in the morning." The kids looked worriedly at Danny who still looked pale in Jack’s arms. Jack gently placed Danny down on the living room sofa.

 "I'll drive you kids home" Jack offered helpfully.

 "Thanks, but I'll walk home Mr. F" "Thanks Mr. Fenton but I can walk home" came the quick replies from both of Danny’s friends.

 "Okay then kids, let us know when you get home safely."

.

Later that night, Maddie and Jack returned to the basement lab to sample the wall surrounding the portal for electrical leakage. Jack took out the clamp meter to test the portal’s metal frames while Maddie inspected the rest of the lab for anything they might’ve missed. The day prior they had cleaned the lab, clearing out construction materials and other equipment so that they can properly test launch the portal without disruption. All the items they had kept are still in their assigned places. All except the lab uniform closet with its door slightly ajar next to an empty laundry basket. Maddie peered into the closet.

 "Jack? Have you seen Danny's hazmat suit?"

=============

**paraphrased from wiki on electrical injury (wiki is for semi-realistic plot purposes only and should not be relied on in real life emergencies. please read actual first aid guides from credible sources if you're using it for real life emergencies.):

For electrical injuries from household current if the person has no symptoms (erratic heartbeat, slow response/movements, etc) and no underlying heart problems (and not pregnant) further testing is not required. Otherwise electrocardiogram blood work to check the heart/urine testing for signs for muscle breakdown may be performed (at the hospital). Danny told his mom he only got lightly shocked. Since he was talking and moving around fine with no erratic heart rhythm with no other injuries (burns/etc.) aside from the obvious ecto-injury on his arm Maddie did not immediately take him to the hospital. None of the hospital doctors are well equipped to handle ectoplasm-related issues, the best people to handle it within travel distance are Maddie and Jack.

[thedannyphantomcookbook]

The Phantom Origins

Okay, so I know probably a bunch of people have already done this, but I wanted to rewrite Danny Phantom, from just before he got his powers to maybe when he tells his parents.

 I’m tired of waiting for a reboot that may never come, so here is what I picture the reboot would look like. 

I’ve always thought it would be darker and more horrific, that the ghosts he fights are more monstrous and demonic.

 That there would be a little bit more of a medical concern for Danny’s humanity being affected by his ghost half. Is he becoming more ghost like? Is he gradually getting sicker and sicker, and his ghost DNA ravages through his body like cancer? 

Would Vlad be not only a sexist, creepy, abusive old man, but contains a thirst for deception and power that he poses a real, apocalyptic threat on Earth and the ghost zone?

Are ghosts actually the spirits of the dead? Or are they a different breed of human that lives in a completely separate dimension, that’s is layered and hidden within ours?

What about Danny’s mental health. He has to keep this big secret from his parents because he absolutely FEARS what would happen if they found it to the point he’s scared they wouldn’t believe he was their son and try to kill him as a result, or keep him hostage in the basement, slowly torturing him and dissecting him until he’s dead? What would the world think of him? A prophet? A demon? Would they accuse his parents for experimenting on their own children? He would have so much fear and anxiety that he’d have to be on edge all the time, falling into depression, panic attacks - not to mention the PTSD he’d get from it all while battle nightmarish monsters and the hanging question over his head of what he is now. 

These are just SOME of the questions I’ve had that Butch Hartman will never answer. He set up such a great plot and characters but carried it out pretty poorly over the show (which may or may not be his fault since they wanted to keep it kid friendly.)

I hope to get into the deep and dark and nitty gritty details of Danny Phantom we’ve imagined but never get to see. I wrote the first chapter below, and I plan to write much more. :)

I hope you guys enjoy it!

Follow me over at Ao3 

Summary:

Dr. Madelyn Fenton and her husband, Dr. Jackson Fenton, have just built the world's first portal to the Ghost Zone - an alternate dimension where undead linger for all eternity. The only problem is no one believes in what they are doing. The townspeople call them the Fenton Freaks and the rejection letters from the National Science Foundation are piling up. Not even their own children can tolerate their ghost obsession. Their 14 year old son, Danny, does what he can to separate himself from his parents. Mocked by his peers and judged by his teachers, he keeps his head down and stays out of the spotlight. 

It comes as no surprise to Danny when his parents' machine fails to work on the first test run. Discouraged, they leave empty handed for the weekend to go to the Ghost Hunter's Expo, where they were expected to present their portal during their panel. As soon as his parents leave, Danny invites his friends over to give a tour of yet another one of his parents' failed experiments. When he gets dared to walk inside the machine, he triggers something that turns it back on, and for the first time ever, his parents have an invention that works. But that's the least of the surprises when Danny emerges from the portal himself...

To Whom It May Concern,

To the esteemed members of the National Science Foundation, myself, Dr. Madelyn Fenton, PhD., and my husband, Dr. Jackson Fenton, PhD., write to you today to consider us for the New Exploratory Scientific Research Grant Award. Our combined decades worth of research within paranormal scientific research fields have led us to believe that the “ghost” entities that haunt our very Earth, could in fact be the missing link to creating new technology, curing human illnesses, and prolonging human life on Earth.

The term “ghosts” is defined as a religious or spiritual being, or the hypothetical soul of the human body, separated from physical forms, usually that of a person recently deceased. Dr. Jackson Fenton and myself have a different theory about the “ghostly” entities that visit our Earth. We have sufficient evidence to prove that ghosts are in fact not the spirits of the dead, but an entirely new species of the human race. We believe they exist in an alternate dimension - a separate plane of existence that is not unlike ours. Recent developments have also shown the possibility of dimensional travel -  we believe ghosts are able to pass through into our plane of existence for a temporary amount of time. Through our rigorous research, construction, and experimentation, Dr. Jackson Fenton and myself have created what would be a “portal” to this plane of existence, to the “Ghost Zone.” By exploring and studying the ghost zone, we could collect a limitless amount of research and data that could be used to benefit humanity for the rest of our existence.  

We have provided within our application our twenty years of research and development, along with video recordings of our experiments as evidence of our work in progress, as we humbly request your consideration for the New Exploratory Scientific Research Grant  Award.

Sincerely,

Dr. Madelyn Fenton, PhD. in Quantum Physics and Paranormal Studies

Dr. Jackson Fenton, PhD. in Theoretical Science and Paranormal Studies

From the Grants and Admissions Office of the National Science Foundation

To Dr. Madelyn Fenton and Dr. Jackson Fenton,

Thank you for your interest in applying for the New Exploratory Scientific Research Grant Award. The New Exploratory Scientific Research Grant Award (NESRGA) is an esteemed scholarship opportunity that looks to provide funding for ground-breaking scientific research to scientists working within small and local laboratories. After carefully reviewing your application and research, we have come to the regretful decision to decline your request to receive the NESRGA.

We unfortunately could not approve your request due to the following issues:

Insufficient or lack thereof evidence or proof of scientific research of ghostly entities and/or undiscovered species, the “Ghost Zone” dimension in which these entities exist, or possible travel to said “Ghost Zone.”

Insufficient of lack thereof peer review research and laboratory data.

Paranormal entities and alternative dimensional research is not recognized under the National Science Foundation as factual scientific work.

We are thrilled to hear that you share such enthusiasm, passion, and ambition in the pursuit of scientific exploration, research and development. You are a part of a wonderful community, and through your tireless efforts, you will help bring our Earth into the future.

We welcome you to apply for the NESRGA again next year.

Sincerely,

Barbara Keaton,

Director of Grants and Admissions

National Science Foundation

GHOST HUNTERS EXPO - THIS LABOR DAY WEEKEND

To Drs. Maddie and Jack Fenton,

We are excited to have you return to speak at the Ghost Hunters Expo this coming labor day weekend. We have reviewed your Ghost Zone Theory and we anticipate your presentation of your research.

Please note: due to new regulations we cannot allow the following into the convention center:

Ecto-infused food, inanimate objects, or animal mutations of any kind.

Alarm or defense systems that release a form of knock out gas, ectoplasmic goo, ectoplasmic foam, spoiled meats, or  live rodents. All alarms and defense systems must be turned off while inside the convention center.

Samplings or gifts of homemade cookies or other food, beverages, or gifts to bribe the judges.

Disclosed weapons that are not a part of your presentation and/or not approved by the convention prior (we will have metal detections at all entry points of the convention hall)

Asking for audience volunteers unless approved by us prior your scheduled presentation time.

Ghost claims targeted towards convention guests, judges, or other presenters.

All presentations and inventions must have been tested and approved by a judge prior to your presentation time (i.e. no last minute or surprise inventions).

Fighting or displays of physical aggression.

Destruction of convention hall equipment, the building’s foundation itself, or other presenters equipment and or inventions.

We thank you in advance for your compliance and full understanding of the new regulations.

We look forward to seeing you!

Best,

Trevor Martin

Ghost Hunters Expo Coordinator

“Did you see this?” Jack Fenton asked, waving the notice from the Ghost Hunters Expo. He scoffed. “New regulations...I wonder who were the bimbos that made them enforce these rules.” He crumbled up the notice and threw it carelessly on the floor.

“How’s that portal coming, sweet cheeks?” he asked his wife.

Maddie Fenton was deep within a hexagon shaped chamber carved out of her laboratory converted basement wall. The interior was lined with a colorful array of wires and tiny blinking lights. At the end of the chamber, sheets of metal and hardware fanned in on itself. Maddie was kneeled on the floor, wrestling with a few cords.

“I’m just struggling to connect these last couple of wires,” she answered, pinching the two cords together. With a last bit of strain, the cords connected with a satisfying click.

Wiping the sweat off her brow, she came out of the chamber. “Hopefully that will stabilize the gravitational pull of the Ghost Zone once we get the portal running.” She briefly thought back to a dark memory from their college days when their first Ghost Zone prototype had malfunctioned and the toxins from the Ghost Zone leaked out of the portal, resulting in displacing one of her lab partners for the remainder of their college career.

“We got it this time, baby,” Jack said confidently. “There is no way we could make the same mistake twice.”

Maddie sighed as she walked over to the control panel to record the ecto-readings. “I just wish we knew for certain what had gone wrong that day. All of this guess work is driving me crazy.” She picked up her notebook and briefly reviewed her meticulously hand written notes before adjusting some dials.

“Okay,” she huffed, satisfied. “I think we’re ready for a test run.”

Jack clapped his hands. “Excellent! I’ll go grab the kids!” He ran to the basement steps and shouted, “Jazzy-pants! Danny! Get down here!”

A few minutes later both of their teenage children shuffled down the basement steps.

“Is this gonna take long?” Danny asked, disinterestedly. “Tucker and I were in the middle of planning our next battlefield strategies for Doomed. There’s only a few days left of summer vacation and we still have so much planning to do if we want to beat the other online players and achieve the seven Keys of Destiny.”

“And I was in the middle of an important breakthrough in my self therapeutic psychology research,” their daughter, Jazz promptly stated. In her hands she clutched an open copy anxiety and phobias workbook. “Did you know that high functioning anxiety in adulthood is caused by childhood trauma from never feeling safe in your own home? This would explain so much about me and Danny -” she paused in her speech when she saw the machine her parents were working on.

“Oh, no.” She snapped her book shut and pinched the flesh between her eyes. “ Please do not tell me you called us down here to witness another one of your experiments. Don’t you remember what happened last time?”

“Oh, Jazz, relax,” Maddie said, waving her off. “Those burn marks from the last ectoplasmic gun experiment healed eventually. And look!” She walked over to a closet in the back of the room and pulled out two polyester jumpsuits. “We made you both your own custom fitted, lab safe, jumpsuits!”

Jack appeared beside Maddie. “And we matched them with ours! Jazzy-pants, yours is teal to match your mother’s. And Danny, yours would have matched mine but the store didn’t have orange.” he held out a plain white jumpsuit with black gloves and boots.

“And I haven’t even shown you two the best parts!” he grabbed the jumpsuits from Maddie and spun them around. Crudely pressed onto the fabric of the jumpsuit was a cutout of Jack Fenton’s smiling face, emblazoned on the chest.

“Pretty cool, huh?” Jack grinned.

Jazz was the first to respond. “Dad there is no way you’re going to get me to wear that,” she said while backing away and shaking her head. “How about Danny and I will just go upstairs and you can call us down after  you’ve tested it? That way we’ll be safe and not have to wear those hideous jumpsuits.”

Danny silently agreed with her while struggling to conceal his own disgust at the suits. It was one thing to be forced to wear a jumpsuit like his parents but it was an entirely different level of lame to have to wear his father’s face across his chest. What if his parents insisted he wore it all the time, like they did? Involuntary images of him becoming the laughing stock at his new high school was surfacing in his mind, more than he already was for being the son of the city’s eccentric ghost hunting husband and wife team. He was already struggling to stay above the pathetic nerd social ring in his class. They’d have to create an entirely new category of nerd just for him if he wore that suit. The thought of it made him want to crawl away in a hole and be left there to die.

“Mom, Dad, I have to agree with Jazz,” Danny said. “The suits are kinda...lame.”

“Oh, nonsense,” Maddie dismissed. “These jumpsuits are the latest fashion that every ghost hunter wants.”

“And when we reveal these babies with my face on them, everyone will be scrambling for one. We’ll be rich!” Jack stated proudly.

Jazz snorted. “Um, I somehow doubt that. Look, we’ll just go back upstairs and you two can let us know when it’s safe, okay?” She looped a hand around Danny’s arm and started pulling him away.

“Oh, no you don’t!” Jack clamped a hand on both of them  and spun them back around. “You two are being given the chance to witness scientific history! And we are not going to let you pass up on this.” He tossed the jumpsuits to Jazz and Danny. They unwillingly caught them.

Jazz glowered at Danny. “If you take any photos and post them on the internet, I will kill you.”

Danny held out his suit reproachfully. His dad’s smiling face seemed to be laughing at him, like all of the students as Casper High will be if they ever found out about this.

“Don’t worry about it.”

A few minutes later, Jazz and Danny stood alongside their parents in their matching jumpsuits. Jazz stood with her arms crossed, silently fuming, her foot tapping impatiently. At her mother’s insistence, Jazz was forced to tuck in her long, red hair and wear the hair sealing head cover and thick, dark eye protection goggles that came with it. At equal height, Jazz and Maddie were identical in their suits.

At least Danny couldn’t match his dad. Jack’s suit was bright orange and about twenty sizes larger than Danny’s, due to his father’s obsession with Maddie’s homemade fudge and cookie inventions. Danny’s own white suit was slightly too large for him, and hung in odd places due to his skinny frame. He didn’t have to wear a hood and goggles like his sister either - another thankful shortage from the ghost hunter’s clothing warehouse. He picked at his dad’s pressed on face design on his chest as he waited for his parents to get the machine ready for its test run. His dad had tried ironing it on, but had done it poorly, so that with a bit of a tug, it was already beginning to peel off.

Jack and Maddie Fenton ran back and forth across the lab, double checking last minute calculations. Machines whirred and beeped around them, the hum of electricity warm in the stagnant air.

Danny had a good idea of how this was going to go. If this would be like any of their past experiments, it would fail miserably. The experiment would go haywire, probably spout ectoplasmic goo everywhere or accidentally giving ecto energy to the nearest food item. One year, their parents had tried making the Christmas Turkey in their newly invented Ultra-fast Instant Pot and instead infused it with demonic ghostly energy and reanimated it. Danny remembered hiding underneath the kitchen table as Jazz had to beat it back with a pastry roller, screaming for their parents.

The ghost zone portal was their most ambitious project yet. For most of Danny’s life, they had dinner table discussions, weighing mathematical equations and scientific chemical balances in hopes of being able to one day engineer the world’s first ghost zone portal. He was fairly surprised when he found out at the beginning of the summer that they were finally constructing it, and even more so when they claimed last night it was completed. They had been rushing to get it done in time to present it at the Ghost Hunters Expo this weekend.

He glanced at the table beside him looking at the pile of papers his dad had haphazardly stacked among the beakers and ghost weapons. Sitting on top of the stack was the rejection letter from the National Science Foundation.

“It means that they don’t think what they’re doing is science,” Jazz had interpreted for Danny after reading it when their parents’ back was turned. “And who could blame them? There is zero evidence supporting the existence of ghosts. It’s just superstition.”

That’s all it was. Superstition. And  yet, his parents had at some point in their youth latched on to the idea that ghosts were more than a myth, and even though they’ve never actually seen one in person themselves, they were determined to prove ghosts were real. What amazed Danny the most is the amount of people who also believed in the same theory. In the years past when his parents had dragged him and Jazz to the Ghost Hunter’s Expo, the crowds always seemed to grow bigger and bigger. Scientists, hunters, enthusiasts, and even ghost cosplayers gathered under the same roof for a full weekend, exchanging theories, stories and footage of what they thought were ghosts. The most ridiculous rumor he had heard at the last ghost hunter’s convention was one of a young, blue haired female musician, who became an overnight sensation after one performance at a local carnival. She had also disappeared quite suddenly after the performance, which raised a lot of speculation. Ghost hunters claimed her unusually pale skin and hypnotic vocals were a part of her ghostly powers. Jazz had stated that it was simply because she was a successful female in the patriarchy they had to deem her as a ghost to explain it.

Danny didn’t want to say anything else after that.

“Jack,” Maddie called from across the room, typing away at a computer. “Did you remember to pour in the ecto-purifier?”

“On it, baby!” Jack cried while fumbling with a control panel. Danny watched as grabbed a can of diet cola, which sat next to the similar sized gray cylinder labeled “EP.”

“Uh, Dad?” Danny called. “I don’t think that’s the ecto-purifier.”

“What’s that?” Jack asked. He turned to look at the object in his hand and barked out a chuckle.

“Thanks, son! That was a close one.” He placed the can of diet cola down and picked up the correct cylinder. “Who knows what would have happened if we purified the toxic ghost energies with diet cola. Could you imagine?” He poured the bright green liquid into the appropriate chamber.

In the corner of his eye, Danny saw Jazz shake her head. “Idiot,” she whispered.

Jazz believed she was the only mature Fenton in the family. At some point during her high school career, she had decided it was up to her to convince her parents that ghosts were not real, and to force them to change their careers to something more normal or socially acceptable. She had tried to get them interested in just about any other scientific field she could think of, such as deep sea diving to discover creatures living on the ocean floor, to NASA’s space engineering program. When those didn’t work, she tried to build a case proving the psychological damage they were causing to her’s and Danny’s upbringing. Over the summer, when she wasn’t preparing herself for the SATs she’d have to take later that school year, she poured over every psychological book she could get her hands on from the library. No matter how many times she argued about the permanent damage her parents were inflicting on their amygdala by creating an unsafe environment for her and Danny to grow up in, their parents would say it’s all worth it for the sake of scientific advancement.

Danny tried desperately to stay out of their fights. Most days, he was too focused on trying to survive a day without being called “that ghost geek” by his peers, no matter how many times he told his classmates he didn’t believe in his parents’ work. Maybe it was because of his small, bony limbs that made it so easy for his classmates to mock him. Or the fact that his only two friends in the entire world were also considered a variety of nerd within the social climate. His best friend Tucker was a little too obsessed with the latest technology and his other friend, Samanatha - Sam for short - was the only school’s goth girl, who filled her entire personality and outlook with dark and depressing outfits and literature. In a weird way, it did make sense that the girl who loved to read about the dead, and the boy who loved technology, would want to be friends with the kid whose parents called themselves ghost scientists. Still, they were his best friends and he wouldn’t trade them for anyone else.

He had been telling them about the portal his parents were building all summer. Just like he was, his friends were also doubtful it would work. They deliberated about what the inventions would actually do. Tucker still brought up the time Danny’s parents were testing out an anti-ghost gravity spray, to temporarily make a ghost lose their flight ability. The morning they were testing it out, Danny had woken up in a hovering bed. It had shocked him so much, he fell off his bed and face-planted onto his bedroom floor, breaking his nose. At some point, Tucker and Sam started placing bets about the outcome.

“Maybe the portal will just blast a hole through the wall and you’ll send up in the Amity Park Sewer System,” Sam guessed last night after he told them his parents were getting ready for their first test.

“Bet you five bucks that Danny will lose all of his hair this time,” Tucker had joked.

He absentmindedly ran a hand through his exposed hair and briefly wished he had a head cover and goggles like Jazz. He couldn’t help but notice there was something different about his parents this time. They didn’t have the same, bubbly and excited energy they usually had when showing off a new invention. They seemed more focused this time. Even his dad’s goofy banter towards Maddie had taken a back seat as his dad frowned over the controls. It was weird to see his dad actually concentrating. Maybe it was the hundredth rejection letter they received from the National Science Foundation, or the pressure to present this weekend at the Expo, but it seemed like they were seriously trying to make this thing work. They did not want to fail.

“Okay everyone!” Maddie ran over and started waving her hands. “Backs up against the wall.”

Jazz sighed and turned to walk over to stand behind the boxed in yellow line, the “safe” spot in the lab. Danny thought  a metal containment center with a viewing screen would have kept them safer, but supposedly his parents didn’t have time to build one. Danny followed his mother and sister.

“Almost…” Jack muttered at the controls, typing away. Suddenly there was a loud click that echoed off the basement walls. Machines roared to life and lights winked on. Inside the portal, the metal fans began to spin.

“YES!” Jack punched the air, triumphant.

“Jack!” Maddie called to her husband, gesturing towards the safe zone. He jogged over and squeezed himself in between his two kids.

“This is it!” he shouted over the noise, which was gradually becoming deafening.

All around the room, machines and computers turned on. Attached beakers and graduated cylinders filled up with green, bubbling liquid. A wall lined with dialers bounced up and down. Puffs of smoke expelled out of exhaust pipes. The portal itself began to crackle with electricity, its interior fans spinning faster and faster until it started emitting a bright green glow. The pressure in the room changed, popping Danny’s ears. He felt the tips of his hair begin to rise with the electric waves.

The whirring of the fans inside the machine began to ring out a high pitch squeal as the machine glowed brighter, and brighter, blinding Danny’s naked eyes. He squinted and held out a hand over his eyes, peeking through his fingers. The air around them grew warm and staticky. His father clamped a hand tightly on Danny’s shoulder, as if to hold him back from running away.

It was working. Danny couldn’t believe it. Not once in all of their years of inventing ghost machines and hunting equipment, they may have actually been able to build something that worked like they wanted it to.

What would this mean? That ghosts actually existed? That his parents were not the crackpot fools the town took them for? And if they did exist, there was the one question that no one has been able to answer.

Were ghosts dangerous?

He looked up at Jazz. Her expression was unreadable through the head covering. He looked at his parents, wild and furious excitement in their eyes.

Then, when it seemed like Danny’s ears couldn’t take much more of the screeching noise, a BOOM exploded from the portal. Light poured out of the machine and flooded the room. Danny yelped and turned away. Jack stepped in front of his family and hid them with his massive torso from the explosion. Then, very suddenly, the room went dark. Every light and machine that had been just buzzing with life, died. Danny’s hearing rang in the abrupt silence.

“What the heck?” Jack was the first to say something.

“I got a flashlight, hang on,” Maddie said next. Danny heard her fumbling around her utility belt and a small light winked on. She shined it around the room. Curls of smoke rose up from the machines. The glow from the ecto-purifier had also faded.

“I don’t understand,” Maddie said, dumbfounded as she gazed around the room. “This should have worked.”

“We checked every calculation,” Jack said, equally mystified.

“And tested every single machine.” She threw up her hands. “I even made sure the damn computers turned on!”

“Well, obviously, this wasn’t going to work,” Jazz suddenly said, her anger returning. “You guys were trying to open a portal to nothing . Because ghosts don’t EXIST.”

She ripped off the hood and goggles. “I’m going back upstairs to change and burn this stupid jumpsuit, and work on processing this trauma that you have inflicted on us, yet again.” Without waiting for her parents to respond, she stomped back upstairs, her footsteps echoing off the silent basement walls

Jack shook his head. “What is her deal?”

“Oh, never mind her, Jack,” Maddie said. “We need to figure out what went wrong. We only have a day until the expo and we promised to present this.”

Danny’s parents turned their back on him and began working to restore the power, jumping right into a deep discussion. Danny took the moment to quietly slip away back upstairs.

The second he was back into his room, he let out a long exhale. Suddenly remembering he was wearing the jumpsuit, he hastily ripped it off and then threw it in the trash bin in the corner of his room.

He flopped back onto his bed, and lay in the stillness of his room for a few minutes to collect his thoughts. He stared up at the plastic, glow in the dark stars and planets stuck on his ceiling.

He couldn’t believe there was a moment back there where he thought the machine was working.

He didn’t want to imagine what would happen if ghosts were real. There were no real scientific facts about them. All those convention attendees at the ghost hunters expo all had different theories about what ghosts are - the religiously damned, aliens, spirits with unfinished business, souls that died before their time, another species - no one could settle on a single argument.

But if they did exist, what would happen then? Would they swarm the Earth, like cicadas after their years long sleep? Would they haunt each and every home and building in towns and cities, and try to claim it as their own? Would the world be plunged into a ghost apocalypse, where every human had to fight for their own human survival and soul? Were ghosts malicious or peaceful?

His parents might be arrested for creating the portal in the first place, if it did turn out bad. Or the government might force them to work alongside them to rid the Earth of the ghost population. What would happen to him and Jazz? Would they be put into juvie, just for being the kids of the Fenton Freaks? Would they be put into foster care, once the government decided Jack and Maddie were unfit parents for him and Jazz?

What if the human population adopted a sick fascination of ghosts? Businesses would try to profit off the ghosts by selling fake anti-ghost protection devices or offer tours inside “haunted” houses. There might even be a community in which some would fall in love or even want to become a ghost themselves.

The world would become absolute chaos.

Danny shuddered at the thought. He didn’t understand what his parents saw in trying to prove their existence. What good would proving the undead existed bring to the world?

His anxious, spiraling thoughts were interrupted when his computer dinged. Danny got up and sat down at his desk. He wiggled his mouse to wake up his computer. Tucker had sent him a message.

Still have all of your hair?

Danny chuckled and wrote back.

Yep. Nothing happened though. But the power in the basement blew.

Damn ,  was Tucker’s response. And I had just invested in a 25 pack of markers to color your head in Lancer’s class when you fall asleep.

Danny laughed out loud. I can only imagine all the pensises you’d draw.

I had planned no less than 50. Two for each color.

Well I hope you kept your receipt cause I still have a full head of hair. Unlike you. Danny made a jab at Tucker’s own buzzed haircut. He had tried growing out dreads for the school year, but his mother forced him to shave it off after he got caught staying up on the computer way too late one night. She paid the barber to give him a military buzz cut.

Shut up, dude, Tucker typed back. While you were away not getting your hair fried off your scalp, I was devising up a new battle plan to defeat Chaos.

Danny smiled. Oh yeah? Lay it on me.

[stxrrywildflower]

home

pairing - spencer reid x reader

warning - mentions of blood and other injuries, faint ptsd

summary - you go on an undercover mission after orders from strauss. two months later, you return

word count - ?

you stepped into a bau while sighing softly to yourself. it was a normal day for everyone else but for you, it would be your last day at work for a least a month.

close to three weeks ago, strauss had called you and hotch into a meeting. while leaving, you glanced at your team who all displayed nervous expressions. usually meetings with strauss were never good. one walking in, you noticed two men. one about hotch’s age and one around your age.

“strauss,” you greeted with a handshake as hotch did the same.

“agents y/l/n and hotchner, this is agent daniel cruz and section chief newman from our san francisco branch. please, take a seat,” she introduced. you and hotch glanced at eachother before taking a seat.

“i have been in contact with various section chiefs about a possible human trafficking ring out west. we aren’t sure how large of an operation is occurring but we need to put a stop to it. not before we get the proper evidence, however,” strauss informed.

“ma’am with all due respect, yes that is a very serious issue but how does this involve us?” you asked timidly.

strauss looked over at you. “well agent y/l/n, hotchner is your superior which is why we need him present. as for you, chief newmen and i have decided to put you and agent cruz as undercover agents out on one of the suspected farms in wyoming.” this hit you hard. an undercover mission? we’re you even prepared for that?

hotch opened his mouth to speak but was cut off. “ah agent hotchner, this has already been decided. y/n and daniel fit the part the best due to their young looks. we are trying to keep this as quiet as possible so try not to let it out.”

and with that, you and hotch stepped out of the room and went back into the bullpen. over the course of the three weeks, you had gotten to know daniel or danny better. he was married with a young daughter and was stationed in san francisco. you also learned your part and trained. you were a college student who was studying sciences and were taking a semester to go study out west on a farm surrounded by various forms of plants and animals. that way you could get close to the family and see what was happening.

one night you were with spencer at his apartment with the intention of spending the night. he wasn’t sure why you had been so closed off but had his suspicions. you on the other hand had wanted to spend time with him before you left.

“alright what’s going on,” spencer spoke as he shut off the tv and turned to you. you just stared at him confused. he gave you one more look and you caved.

“strauss assigned me a case. i leave in a week and a half but i can’t talk about the specific details,” you revealed. spencer nodded, suddenly understanding. you were then pulled into a tight hug. “let’s just savor the time we have together,” he mumbled.

the memory made you smile to yourself as you stepped through the glass doors and into the bullpen. “woah, new haircut? hotch isn’t going to like that,” you heard morgan’s voice coming from behind you. once turning around, to see morgan. behind him were j.j. and emily making coffee, each displaying a shocked expression.

“not by choice,” you grimaced, subconsciously going up to touch your hair. it’s true, in order to look the part, you had cut your hair to a bit above shoulder length, gave yourself a middle part, and dyed it pastel pink. strauss had told you it was ‘perfect for the part’ and dismissed you.

after that quick conversation, you made your way up to hotch’s office, not before glancing over to spencer who gave you a resuring smile. you knocked slightly on the closed door of hotch’s office. after hearing a faint “come in!” you opened the door. inside was hotch and rossi going over a case file.

“oh i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to interrupt. hotch, do you have it?” you asked.

hotch nodded before moving to reach under his desk and pull out a box. rossi’s eyes widened. “you’re going undercover?” he asked. you and hotch looked over at him after you were given the box. “how’d you know?”

“all agents who ever go undercover have to put their stuff in a box just like that one. i’ve seen quite a few,” rossi exclaimed. “i leave in an hour,” you informed him.

“good luck kiddo, see you soon,” rossi smiled before grabbing the files and stepping out of the office and into his own.

“so this is goodbye?” you asked hotch, a sad undertone to your words. hotch nodded slightly. “well it’s not a goodbye because you are coming back but technically this is the official goodbye. i will see you off to the airport though,” he informed.

you placed the box down on the seat and frowned. hotch had practically become a father figure in your life and despite your knowledge of life, as cliche as it sounded, he always taugh you more. “hug goodbye?” you whispered, tears slightly forming in your eyes. hotch stepped from around your desk and pulled you into a hug.

“i’ll inform the team of your whereabouts after you leave. but know that this isn’t goodbye y/n, i fully expect to see you back in that conference room sometime soon,” hotch spoke after stepping away. you grabbed the box, smiled once more, and moved out of the office and over to your desk.

after sitting across from spencer, you ignored the stairs from your team members and focused on your boyfriend across from you. “hey,” you said, starting a conversation. “hey,” spencer replied. he knew you were leaving today and would need to pack up.

you looked away and began placing the essential items in the box. your desk was to stay the way it was but certain items would need to remain in hotch’s office.

first was your cellphone. on the farm you would have no contact via phone but would be able to send at max, two letters. second was your main gun that rested on your hip and your secondary gun that was for emergencies. those went into the box with extra care. finally was your badge. obviously this host family would have to believe that you and danny were only college students and not undercover fbi agents. after bringing the box to hotch, who met you halfway, you sat back at your desk and started a conversation with spencer, trying to calm your nerves.

time flew by and it was time to leave. hotch stepped into the bullpen and looked in your direction. “ready to go?” he asked. you nodded, glancing around at your teammates, smiling slightly at each of them. before following hotch to the car, you walked over to spencer and kissed him gently on the lips, ignoring morgan’s whistles in the background.

“i love you,” you whispered in his ear.

“i love you more,” he replied.

you stepped away and began to follow hotch, not looking back. your suitcase of clothes and backpack filled with various textbooks and other notebooks was already in the car. stepping into the cool d.c. air, you glanced around one more time at the bau building. you were ready.

_______

the mission was a success. you and danny had spent your time in wyoming, mainly couped up in your shared room but also doing ‘work’ on the farm.

while the expected time was only supposed to be a month, towards the end the family got suspicious. this resulted in you both being cut off from sending letters and forced to stay another month. a month away from home turned into two which killed you.

the family was arrested and the ring was put to a stop. you and danny had packed up and went to the airport. he would be flying back to california to be checked out and see his family while you were going back to d.c. the two of you hugged goodbye before boarding your separate flights. you two promised to stay in constant contact.

landing home at 2am didn’t help your exhaustion both physically and mentally. immediately after landing, you were taken to a hospital. the various cuts and bruises on your body were treated as well as your broken ribs and injured knee. an iv with nutrients was placed in your arm to repair your  malnourished state. you had also passed out for 10 hours. once waking up, you were cleared to go. an agent who worked with strauss came to pick you up and bring you to the bau where you could finally see your team.

in order to go in, you had to be finger printed as a result of not having your badge. it didn’t help that you didn’t look like yourself at all. however, you went through security and into an elevator which would take you to the sixth floor.

the first one you encountered was hotch. he had been walking down the hallway outside of the bullpen looking at a case file. after glancing up, he did a double take and took in your appearance.

you were a lot skinnier. the family had greatly reduced the amount of food you were given. however, the nutrients you were given were helping with that. second, your hair was a lot longer. it was past your shoulders, with the pink fading and your natural hair color coming in at the roots. finally was your injuries. you had a knee brace on, bandages on cuts, and you were clutching your ribs.

hotch closed the files and walked over to you. you accepted the hug and placed your head on his shoulder. “it’s good to have you back,” he told you. the next was rossi who also hugged you, calling you a sweet name in italian and expressing his happiness for having you back. garcia was after that. she had gasped when she saw you before gushing over anything and everything.

j.j. and emily saw you after garcia. both had hugged you. you were silent through the whole thing but accepted the hug from your practically sisters.

“where’s spencer?” you asked j.j.

“he’s out at lunch with morgan, should be back soon,” emily piped in.

“bau team? a word in the conference room,” hotch called into the bullpen causing everyone’s heads to turn. j.j. wrapped an arm around your waist and helped you up the stairs with your injured knee.

“i just wanted to speak to you all. obviously y/n has returned from her mission which had gone very well. things should be going back to normal now with our full team back together. y/n i’m not going to pressure you but is there anything you want to add?” hotch asked.

you looked up at the team. “i’m really lucky to be alive,” you started, “once the family found out that we were fbi, danny and i were almost killed. and i’m just happy that i’m here now standing with all of you. well most of you,” you revealed.

it was at that moment that you noticed the glass door of the bau bullpen open up. inside walked morgan and spencer who were laughing about something. instantly, you were up and out of the chair you were sitting in, practically hobbling out the door and down the catwalk. spencer glanced up at you, stopping in his tracks.

“y/n,” you heard him softly call.

spencer rushed over and up the steps, meeting you halfway. he pulled you into a tight but also gentle hug, careful of any injuries he was unaware of. after a kiss to the forehead, he pulled away. you moved your hands to his cheeks and smiled slightly.

“your home,” he commented.

“yeah, i’m home,” you finalized.

[rafael-silva]

(long) thoughts on 10.22, mcdanno and the ending

Okay, so. The finale. It took me a while to digest everything and turn my thoughts into coherent sentences. Also, this is long. Like an essay. Literally. If you read till the end, bless you.

I have mixed feelings, and they’re tugging at each other. Part of me wants to scream but another part of me is like, there’s more to this. This is me trying to make sense of the whole thing without my heart shattering. So you’ll definitely get glimpses of each side during this essay.

First, here’s a scene I imagine happening after the series finale ends:

It fades back in. And we’re in Steve’s house. We don’t know how much time has passed. Keys rattle, and the front door is pushed open.

Offscreen, we hear, “you better not have forgotten the malasadas.”

It’s a little raspy, a little slow, a little croaky, but so unmistakably Danny’s voice.

A chuckle. And then, comes the reply, equally raspy, “right here, Danno. Come and get them.”

“And you better have bought a lot. Clara is coming over in a bit. You know how much she loves malasadas. And no, you come out here, the breeze is nice,” Danny replies.

And Steve goes. And sits in his chair next to Danny as they look out into the water. He opens the box and Danny grabs a malasada.

They’re home.

Fade to black. Roll credits.

In my opinion, the ending was supposed to be about McDanno. And as much as we did get so much McDanno in the finale, I’m talking specifically about the last thing we see on the screen. And I’m not talking about them becoming canon. The chances of that happening were slim to none.

I’m talking about their friendship, their partnership, their bond. I’m talking about the two men who put their lives on the line for each other, time and time again, without hesitation; the two men who traveled to the ends of the earth for each other. That is what the ending should have ended with.

From the full-blown panic Steve was in when Danny was being followed. Steve's only priority is saving Danny’s life. The person you care about most in the world. Steve holding Danny on the way to the hospital. Steve constantly reassuring Danny that he’s right there, to hold on. Steve holding Danny’s hand. He thought he was going to lose Danny and it broke him.

(Also, All For One playing during the scene where Steve sits next to Danny’s hospital bed and holds his hand? Yes, I cried.)

I knew the Catherine part was coming, from the moment she was brought up, I knew what was going to happen. I just didn’t want the Catherine scene to be the final scene of the series. 

Because the truth is, while Catherine kept ducking in and out of Steve’s life, the one constant thing in Steve’s life was Danny. And they didn’t do that justice.

And I think that’s what I’m mad about most. I knew the chances of canon McDanno were slim to none (even though the first half of the episode was screaming McDanno, as should have the entire episode been and a part of me was like, hold on...maybe...because 95% of the episode? McDanno.) 

All throughout season ten, we were constantly shown how important Steve and Danny are to each other, that they can’t live without each other. It truly was a love letter to each other and to McDanno fans. We know the love is there, but I wanted to see Steve choosing Danny. Yes, we got a heart to heart, some of their classic banter in there, I love you’s and a powerful hug, which I am grateful for and will always cherish…but I wanted the last scene of the series, to be of Steve and Danny.

And it breaks my heart, because at the end of the day, Steve left Danny.  After everything.

Hawaii. Danny moved 4,948 miles away from his home to be close to his daughter. He hated Hawaii. But then he met Steve and Steve chose Danny. Then he slowly began to love the Island. Until the Island was home. Until Steve was home. Danny was alone in the beginning and what hurts so much, is even after ten years, the last time we see Danny, is him, sitting on his best friend’s private beach, alone. It breaks my heart.

And I want to say that Danny hops on a plane and goes to Jersey to Steve but I wanted Steve to pick Danny. I wish Steve had realized that going away isn’t always the answer. That healing can happen with the people you love. Should happen with the people you love. Because that is what the show is about. How to save and be saved at the same time. Heal, and be healed.

My hopes are for a Steve and Catherine friendship. I have a few issues with how Catherine treated Steve, and how she hurt him. And for me, it seems out of character for Steve to just dive back into a relationship with her, after everything they’ve been through in the past. Especially after clearly saying how much Catherine is like Doris. And how he’s done with Doris. Because if Steve is just repeating history, I feel like during those final two minutes, the writers went, Steve’s character development? Don’t know him.

I get needing time away. I get that there’s so much history and pain for Steve in Hawaii. And I wholeheartedly agree that Steve needs a break. I just have a little problem with the timing.

Danny is recovering. Plain and simple. While yes, Danny doesn’t need Steve to hold his hand and hover during his recovery. But he nearly died and Steve nearly lost his mind at that thought. And yet, a mere week later, Steve just leaves.

And just like Steve needs to heal, Danny needs to heal, too. It’s been a hell of a year for both of them. Danny’s been through so much too, and the person who helps him through it and who Danny leans on, has left. And I hate how they undermined Danny’s hurt, his pain, they put him through hell and then take away his number one support system. I think Danny needed to get away, too. And with the whole “if you’re out, I’m out” thing that’s been going on between Steve and Danny, I doubt Danny will remain in Five-0 without Steve.

Whether anything comes out of Steve and Catherine, it doesn’t change the fact that Danny was left behind. And that just angers me so much. I just had hoped that Steve would have chosen Danny, just like Danny has been choosing Steve time and time again for a decade.

Steve says Catherine was the one who got away. Because, yes, she got away. And when he tells Cole that he’s good, I believe him. I think he accepted it long ago, that maybe it would have worked out. But it didn’t. And I think Steve deserved some closure, and that’s why Catherine showed up at the end.

The first time I watched the episode and the ending, I thought, “yeah, why did I expect anything different...” but then after really thinking about it, I realized nothing is set in stone. And I started thinking, maybe Catherine is there to support Steve, maybe this will lead to them mending their relationship and becoming friends. Because I honestly pray and hope Steve’s development isn’t gone. He’s lost, he needs to find himself again. The few times we’ve seen Catherine since she left the show was either because she needed Steve’s help or he needed hers. Maybe it’s still just that. And it’s just purely that. A friend helping a friend.

And I suspect Steve couldn’t do that with Danny because it’s all still so fresh, and it’s eating at Steve. Danny almost died. Because of something Steve had. And it shook Steve to his core. He almost lost the person he cares about most in this world, and it would have been his fault.

Catherine’s last words were, are you ready? And I think they meant, are you ready to heal?

I don’t mind a Steve and Catherine friendship, just not a romantic relationship. She can help Steve with his PTSD, they can talk and get closure. Maybe that hand holding was Steve saying, thank you for being here. Thank you for helping. That hand holding felt more like holding hands in support, rather than romance. I think if it were romance, he would have intertwined their fingers together. He tells her how much he appreciated her help and that she will always mean a lot to him but they’re history. They had their shot. It didn’t work out. Romantically, at least. And maybe they’re better as friends.

Steve has his face in his hands, and he’s terrified. The look in his eyes during the entire episode speaks of fear, worry, concern, pain, guilt. When Danny wakes up, Steve lets out a long, shaky breath. He was holding his breath. Literally. Then Steve says, “she used you to get to me, she almost killed you...” and that realization, it flipped something in Steve. He couldn’t handle history repeating itself.

So I’m going to believe that that’s the reason Steve left, because otherwise, I see his leaving as out of character. He needs to heal away from Hawaii, away from seeing Danny’s battered body and knowing he was indirectly the reason for that. So he heals. And he returns to Hawaii, to Danny. And they continue healing together.

Maybe, after receiving the miss you already text from Danny, and if Steve wasn’t getting off the plane, maybe he could have texted back, “me too, Danno. But I’ll be back.” (But, come on, the way Steve looked back at Danny sitting on the beach, the look of longing already in Steve’s eyes…yeah, I thought he was getting off that plane.)

Bottom line is, I hope Steve and Catherine rebuild their relationship as friends. And maybe Steve could start rebuilding his trust towards Catherine, too. I think that would be good for him, to heal that part. Because I know how much they mean to each other. And honestly, I think there’s so much romantic history, and just history, good and bad, maybe even too much, for them to move past on the romantic side.

When Danny woke up in the hospital, he said, “you can’t get rid of me that easily.” Even after being kidnapped, beaten and shot, Danny is never leaving Steve.

So I hope Steve returns to Danny, and to their beach, and they do grow old together. As husbands or platonic life partners, either way, I hope they end up sitting side by side watching sunsets. I’m praying they both get the happy ending they so deserve. 

My true ending to the show is Danny’s final dream in 8.10. Steve and Danny have grown old together, Danny’s granddaughter had called and Steve forgot to tell Danny. And Danny saying he wouldn’t change anything about his life, there is not a single thing he would change. If he had to do it again, he’d do it the same way. That’s my ending.

[werezmastarbucks]

DATING THIS HANDSOME GUY HEADCANONS (long because I am so lovestruck)

If you want this relationship to stick, you better meet him in an extreme situation eg during a terroristic attack, or being wrongly - wrongly - accused of killing the President. And seal the deal with the highest stage bonding experience of killing a person together.

Because Steve’s brain simply doesn’t seem to comprehend normality. Yes, he cares for all people equally, but deep down, although he thinks he wants him a girl who’s outside all the horrors of a cop life, he will really fall hard only for somebody as twistedly baggaged as himself. Because all boys are slaves of their mommies. And we all remember that mommy of his

Major trust issues. Several months into dating, on a bad day, he suddenly starts talking about dad, and then you realize: you’re in, and you shake in terror

Steve imposes this heavy feeling of having to be ideal for him. Because he’s so highly, ridiculously disciplined and loyal, he doesn’t notice the pressure people around him feel. Before you met him, you had normal human troubles. After he came into your life your biggest fear is letting him down

And boy, did he come into your life. Rather, smashed the walls down leaving a Steve-shaped hole in the basement concrete. Steve’s careful but determined. He likes something, he gets it.

He’s demanding and doesn’t realize it

He keeps talking to you like you’re one of his team pals, and you have to make him stop and consider his tone of voice. Normal guys go “babe, you wanna go to the movies?” McGarrett goes “we’re going to the movies eight sharp don’t forget money for popcorn”

Which you don’t allow and reproach him for trying to boss you around

Which makes him horny and you end up not going to movies

All he really wants is for someone to challenge him

Astonishingly, he’s a bad planner in mandane life. Tickets are bought at the last second, house key forgotten in yesterday’s pants, wrong aisle on the plane, table in the restaurant not confirmed, etc

Soft kisses on the forehead and temples, he likes to hold your head with his big hands, and he secretly looooooves touching your hair. He’s a softie, literally. He keeps wondering why your skin is so soft and how your hair is so soft, and saying it he squishes his face in such a funny way

He’s great at genius simplicity. He doesn’t realize he’s a bit of a simplistic poet. He gives you cute nicknames in Hawaiian which seem to strike you right in your heart. He gets you

You two manage to finish the Halloween Chucky movie once

He’s an overachiever in everything. Orgasms constant orgasms

He sits down and allows you to hold his head to your thigh when he’s upset. He craves motherly protection he’s been deprived of. That’s why true love is sacred to him

He never refuses to let you touch his arms and happily lifts you up on a muscle while you dangle down like a monkey

Piggy back rides

‘Let me throw you into the water like a frisbee??? That’s gonna be cool!’

He tries to teach you everything he knows even though you say you really don’t need to know how to make a knot with your teeth

You dress as an Elven princess for Halloween once, and he keeps calling you “Arwen” for the rest of your life

Little to no PDA bc the further your romance goes and the more solid it gets the more paranoid he becomes

Has one recurring nightmare in which you two swim in the ocean and something big and black drags you down suddenly and he can’t pull you up

When/if you get married he will not wear the ring to work

But it is so nice being his wifey. You’re not a ‘wife’, you’re a ‘wifey’. You show him off and he plays along no matter how stupidly smug he has to act

He understands your mental issues intimately because he himself has a mind bending PTSD which contaminates his life

But he says, with the most shitty grin, that you’re the best medicine

It’s frustrating how he’s good at literally everything except fixing a DAMN CAR

Always has that annoying optimistic, all-according-to-the-plan attitude. You just try to throw a tantrum or overreact about anything, and he calls you Danny Williams

Danno treats you like his oldest daughter which is not weird or anything lmao. He calls you the little one

Steve can’t explain why, but it’s important to him that you and Danny don’t just get along, but become extremely close. But we know it’s because of mcdanno. You gotta coexist with it.

Steve tries to control everything in your life and shows up at your work to solve any minor problem you mention. He sees it as taking care of. You see it as intrusion. One day he comes and starts fixing shit at where you work for no reason. He’s so sincerely baffled when you say it’s not right. Everything he does is justified in his mind because He Never Does Anything Wrong Ever

On a plus side, he always justifies whatever you do, too

He admittedly becomes an animal if you’re threatened. He only snaps people’s necks when he thinks you’re in danger. The idea of him jumping out from behind a tree and tear out someone’s throat with his teeth makes you start feeling sorry for catcallers. Like, when somebody tries to hit on you aggressively, you run not because you’re afraid of them, but because you know what’ll happen to them if Steve finds out

It’s a solid, trusting, passionate relationship that teaches you maturity. Although it’s a knight-elven princess kind of thing, you’re forced to mature because your man is honorable, very responsible and painfully just. He’s a protective type. He’s the warrior type. He’s not dealing with whatever shit you got going on type

Because of that, people adore and respect him, tend to group around him, sensing his healthy leadership. With Steve comes his ohana, and once you’re cleared, there’s no way out. Whether you want it or not, you grow up and heal

“My eyes are in love with you” is the kind of thing you’ll be hearing a lot

He calls you his swim buddy because among SEALs it’s the most solemn title a person can have. You do not abandon your swim buddy. If they go down, you go down with them. A swim buddy is responsible for your survival. No pressure!

He calls you ha’i’ole which means “unbreakable”. He chose you because he’s a ha’i’ole too.

[cowandcalf]

Writer’s Month 2020 - To Find A Way

Prompt No. 21 Family

Chapter 1 - 12

Chapter 13 - Family Part III

Danny is hyper-aware of how Steve watches him when he closes the door to the Lanai. He stands in the middle of the living room with Grace still tucked to his chest. As if he has lost all confidence while kneeling at the home shore, panic-stricken, and unable to undo what has clenched aggressive to his mind. Steve looks worn out and Grace seems to rest her head on his shoulder as if she wants to camp there for the next hours or so.

"Okay, that's how it's gonna be," Danny searches for Steve's eyes. He wants to hug him so badly but the least Steve needs now is pity and a weak command. Danny's voice is steady and warm when he speaks. "You babe, you go upstairs and take a shower. A long one. A warm, relaxing shower. If you aren't back in fifteen minutes I'll come and check on you." He squeezes Steve's elbow and gestures to hand over Grace. "Hand me over this little monkey," he teases.

Also on AO3

Steve gifts him with a shy, small smile and hooks his thumbs under Grace's armpits. "Time to move, little princess," he whispers next to her ear.

"God, she's tired from the sun and the excitement. We had quite the adventure." Danny plucks her from Steve's chest. She's half-asleep, totally exhausted from too many emotions, and a tidal wave of adrenalin. "She's going to be fine, babe," Danny assures Steve. He knows it will take a while until they have their equilibrium back.

Steve sighs. He's still folded into himself. He hangs his head and his shoulders slouch uncharacteristically over. "Grace," he calls gently, "Hey, you okay?" He cups the back of her head with his hand. Grace nestles her face into Steve's palm and nods tiredly.

"Steve," Danny puts a hand onto his arm, "let's talk later. Now, we need to get cleaned up, get refreshed. I'll lay her down on the couch for a nap. She's too far gone to eat. She needs some sleep and you need your shower." Danny knows Steve wants to fix everything, wants to make sure he hasn't lost Grace's trust. But it's not the time for that now. "Go, I'll have a shower too," Danny makes a 'duh' face and shakes his head at the way Steve stares at him with a hint of outrage about the suggestion. "Not together, you doofus, after you because you take watch down here to make sure Grace is okay while I shower."

"Okay," Steve nods shortly with a creased forehead. "I'll head upstairs." He turns and walks up to the bathroom. Danny reads all the bottled-up emotions in the way Steve drags his tired body up to the first floor.

Danny closes his eyes for a moment and just listens to Steve's soft footfall, to how the bathroom door clicks shut gently. Grace falls asleep in his arms. Everything hurts. His neck is in tight cords and his eyes burn. Steve's desolateness about what he did out there stays like a cloud in the room. Danny doesn't know if Steve can cope well with the aftermath. He has no idea if incidents like this have happened before or if they gonna happen again. But Danny needs to believe that they'll find a way. Somehow, he's gonna find a way to make Steve leave the place in his mind where he's hiding at the moment. Steve doesn't trust himself and Danny can't do wanders but he has to try at least.

The determined pads of Steve's bare feet fifteen minutes later have Danny look up from where he sits next to Grace. She's fast asleep on the comfortable leather couch, wrapped in blankets. She breathes steadily.

"She's asleep?" Steve asks and comes closer. He wears a soft blue t-shirt with a 'NAVY' print on it, grey sweatpants and his hair is still damp from the shower. He smells clean and the soft pink on his cheeks makes him look a bit more adjusted.

"Yes," Danny gets up. "Lunch is ready in ten minutes. I quickly rinse off to get rid of the sand and that sticky feeling. You okay down here, big guy?"

"Yeah, I'm okay," Steve inches closer. "Danny," he puts his hand to Danny's cheek. His tongue darts over the bottom lip, licking one tiny spot absentmindedly.

"I'm right here, babe," Danny steps closer and covers Steve's hand with his.

"I'm so, so sorry. I didn't know – " Steve makes sure Danny sees his eyes. He hides nothing. "I know I have issues. I don't talk about them. I don't want to face them but today showed me," a low breath stutters from his lungs, "I have to deal with them. I can't put your little girl in any danger. And I can't put you in the position where you think about if you can trust me or not." Steve's eyes are honest and big. "I scared the shit out of you and your daughter. And –"

"What do you want to ask?" Danny has an idea of what Steve's trying to voice.

"Do you still trust me?" Steve whispers. "Do you still want to be with me?" His hand falls away. "I get that I'm a liability. The world is full of triggers and normally… I can control it but not today. If you think I'm a danger to you or your daughter – "

Danny grabs Steve by his shirt and makes him step closer. "Listen very carefully now, Steve," Danny almost hisses. He's churned up from the last half hour. He hates that Steve questions the love and all the rest that ties them together like nothing else Danny has ever experienced in any former relationship. He leans in and kisses Steve with closed lips, soft and long until Steve relaxes against his mouth and kisses Danny back.

Steve is still stiff and reserved but Danny senses his longing to just let go, to make someone his partner so Steve doesn't have to stand in the darkness alone. Danny fists Steve's shirt with force and kisses him again, hard and a bit painful.

Danny whispers against his lips. "Don't talk about yourself as if you're an armed bomb. Yes, I still trust you, and yes, I still want to be with you." Danny shoves him a bit. "Don't ever doubt that. We're in this together. I have issues, too. And yes, you don't talk about it and it sucks that I have to find out how mentally wounded you are." Danny clenches his teeth to suck in a deep breath, to calm his wildly beating heart. He whispers when he speaks again. "How could you even think that I might love you less because of your issues? You're such an asshole! What haven't you understood when I've told you that I love you? Huh? I know how hard it is to get through a trauma that fucks with your mind. But for the sake of your mental health and for the sake of my daughter's safety you have to go and talk to someone. Get treatment, work through the problem. Face the inevitable and admit that you came back with PTSD. It's not a shame and it's not a stigma. You're only human, Steve, for crying out loud."

Danny hears the steady dull thud of his pulse in his ear. Other than that – silence. Steve's soft puff of air brushes over Danny's lips.

It's out. He said it all regardless of the consequences. If they want to build a future, they have to put all cards on the table. No hiding anymore.

Danny watches with a stomach tied in hard knots how Steve's face morphs into an even mask before he gives in and let desperation show. There's disgust too. "I hate to be like this, to be unable to keep control. I hate it." Steve whispers. "I'm trained to safe people not to put them in danger because I can't hold my shit together." He grinds out.

"It doesn't make life easier if you always look the other way the moment the pressure rises and you sense the signs. It makes it worse. I can't ask you to fix it. You have to want it yourself." Danny sighs and spreads his fingers wide over Steve's chest. "Let's eat. We can't fix it right now. Just – don't turn your back on me because you can't accept your own behavior. I can't deal with you crawling back into your shell, locking me out. Don't go all quiet on me. Please." Danny hasn't planned to sound this needy. The fallout is bigger than he has thought. It hits him hard, too.

"I won't, Danny. I promise." Steve leans in to kiss him softly and with aching sweetness. "I could eat." He breathes the words against Danny's lips.

Danny sags against Steve's chest and for a moment the world is okay again. Steve wraps him in his arms and the sway on the spot, shortly indulged in the knowledge that they still have each other, that nothing is lost. Danny knows they're going to make it.

They watch some documentary about an octopus and a man. It's a touching movie and it fits their mood. It explains the balance between mankind and nature and everything is soothing and helps both to calm down. There's no tension in the movie at all. Danny couldn't cope with the smallest amount of excitement. He follows only with half the concentration. The tone is low not to wake up Grace. They eat in comfortable silence. The moment they have finished lunch Steve's leg starts to bounce. His excessive energy is tangible.

Danny can't sit still either and the muse to watch TV just doesn't appear. "What's your plan? What you're up to?"

Steve pulls his leg up and shoves a foot under his thigh. He turns to look at Danny. "I want this afternoon to end well for Grace. I'll put up the children's pool I've bought for her. It's totally safe, not deep and I want to haul a few wheelbarrows of sand up to the lawn. I wanna build a sandbox for Grace right outside the Lanai. We can build a sandcastle there. It's just as good as at the beach. I want her to have a good time after this horror she went through. What do you think?"

Danny rolls his head on the backrest of the couch to meet Steve's gaze. "That sounds great to me." He lifts his head and strokes with one hand over Steve's hairy, strong thigh. "What do you normally do after such an incident? You're brimming with unused strength and unused adrenaline." Danny asks sincerely.

"I would go swimming. Sometimes for hours. I need to exhaust myself. Physical exercises help me to wear me down and to get me away from that edge in my mind." Steve plays with Danny's finger. "Disassemble and assemble a weapon wouldn't be enough anymore."

Danny kisses Steve. "I'll clean the kitchen and then I'll help you, meaning I'll bring the beer and I'll watch you burn your energy."

Steve rests his forehead to Danny's and they just stay like this for a moment. It's almost peaceful.

The day ends just as Steve has planned it for Grace. Danny sits on one of the wooden chairs and watches the brilliant Hawaiian sunset. He drinks a beer and listens to the animated chatter in the close by sandbox. He has no idea how Steve has hauled up all the sand on his own. He must have jogged up and down with the wheelbarrow full of heavy sand. But it has kept him busy. Soaked in sweat again due to a different reason and panting Danny gratefully answered the honest, relaxed smile Steve has shot him when he stepped out on the Lanai with Grace in tow.

They chill out in a relaxed atmosphere and enjoy the end of the evening with ice cream and the movie 'Frozen'. Grace talks excitedly and tells Steve the whole movie and her favorite parts. Danny can tell Steve is so relieved she's still with him and doesn't act strange or anxious he leaps happily into an intense discussion with his daughter about the princess' dress and the color blue and pink.

"Time to go to bed, Monkey." Danny collects the spoons and the empty containers to carry it to the kitchen.

"Danny, let me clean the kitchen. Go and get Grace ready for bed, okay?" Steve gets up from the couch. "Come, little princess, time to go to sleep."

Danny goes through all the evening rituals with Grace. They clean the teeth together. He makes her wash her face twice after she still has some chocolate ice cream around her mouth. He creams her skin with moisturizing lotion and makes her put on her pajamas with the glitter and the colorful fish-print. All the while they chat along and Grace talks and seems to be back to her old self.

Danny tucks her in and pulls the bedcover up to her small chest. "Hey, monkey, would you like to talk to Steve?"

She watches him with big eyes.

"He scared you today. I know, Monkey. And you have all the right to be scared but maybe he could come up and talk to you? Explain what happened? And you could ask him questions?"

She only watches him with her big eyes not understanding what he's asking. They just had a great, chilled movie night. Danny could slap himself for asking adult questions. A child's world doesn't work that way. "It's okay, Gracie. That was a stupid thing to ask. But what would you say if Steve read to you from your favorite book? Would you like that?"

"Yeah. Does he read as good as you, Danno?"

Danny smiles. "I have no idea but I'm sure he's doing a great job. Shall I call him?"

"Okay."

Danny kisses Grace's forehead and wishes her a Good night. He looks around in the fancy, turquoise room Steve painted for his girl. They haven't had time to admire Steve's great artwork in Gracie's room. Danny sighs and smooths his hair back with both hands. He makes sure he smiles at Grace who seems delighted that Steve will read her a bedtime story. Danny finds Steve sitting on the edge of the big bed in the bedroom across the corridor, hands clasp together, lost in thoughts.

"Hey, Steve, you okay?" Danny walks up to him and steps between his legs.

Steve shoves his face into his stomach and places his hands at the back of Danny's thighs. Danny rests his hands in Steve's hair. He gains strength from the way Steve works hard to be there, to put so much effort into the sweet, young but strong love they have found in each other.

"I, uh, I have this address of a support group for veterans. For guys like me, with troubled minds, dealing with PTSD. I never wanted to go. I thought I could handle it myself but it's too much at stake for me. I'll join the group next week, okay?"

Danny gently scrapes Steve's scalp with his fingers, scratching him like a cat. Steve rubs his face over Danny's shirt and his hot breath warms his skin underneath. "Thank you," Danny answers with a tense voice. It means to world to him that Steve wants this just as much as he does. Danny's bone-tired and longs for a good sleep. "Grace wants you to read to her." He tells with a soft voice before he cups Steve's face to kiss him deeply.

Steve looks at him with wonder. "She said that?"

"Yes, she's waiting for you."

"What do I need to do? Just read?" Steve pushes up from the bed and wraps Danny in a full-body hug.

"Yeah, just read, talk a bit and let Grace lead. If she needs to ask something about today, she will. Don't pressure her. You will do fine." Danny leans against Steve's bulk and inhales the strength this incredible man emanates from every cell of his body. "And tomorrow we admire the stunning artwork you created in Grace's new room. You're one of a kind, Steve McGarrett."

Danny senses the smile on Steve's lips in the way he presses his face into the curve of his neck.

Danny dozes off to the low, wonderful voice of Steve reading to his little girl. He wakes up when the mattresses dips and a warm, strong body curls around him. "Hey, babe," he greets Steve with a sleep-rough voice, "how'd go?"

Steve kisses his neck and nuzzles the hair with his nose. "I never thought that it could be so deeply satisfying to read to a child. I watched her fall asleep, Danny. And it's – it's beautiful. I didn't know what to do with all the feelings. Thank you for this. Thank you."

Danny pushes into the curve of Steve's body and snuggles into the warmth and the shelter, he provides. He pulls Steve's hand to his mouth and brushes over the knuckles with his lips. "You're good? Both of you?" He murmurs.

"Yeah, we are. And we agreed to make breakfast pancakes for you tomorrow morning." Steve presses an open mouth kiss to Danny's shoulder. "Sleep, babe."

Danny would have wanted to turn around to kiss Steve like he's yearning since this afternoon, eagerly and raunchy. But he's almost out when the soft-spoken words reach his ear.

"I love you so much, Danny. I love you both so much."

Danny wakes to clatter from the kitchen. The sun is up and he's alone in bed. His heartbeat shoots up and he turns onto the back. He listens carefully and a bit anxiously to the rhythm of the clatter. It's joyful and in sync. It's fluent and smooth. He hears Grace's voice and Steve's low rumble. It's a good sound. It's a perfect sound. Danny sinks deeper into the mattress and breathes out.

God, what a weekend. But whatever it takes. That's a promise he has given himself and Steve. And the way the clatter sounds from the kitchen below says they are doing freaking great concerning what they have gone through yesterday. He smells pancakes and coffee wafting up the stairs and into the bedroom. It's a good morning.

The doorbell rings and makes Danny almost jump out of his skin. A sudden commotion and a hasty exchange of words with another person follow. All of that has Danny sit up straight in bed. There's the other quite familiar voice again and the barking of a dog. Steve talks but Danny can't hear what he's saying. Grace's delighted squeal is followed by another bark. Something wild is going down on the lower floor.

Danny's already up and wants to head down when he hears the front door closing and footsteps running up the stairs.

"Danno! Look who's here!" Grace shouts from the hallway.

Danny clearly hears claws on wood running up the stairs too. Grace burst into the room with the brightest smile on her face and jumps right up on the bed. She beams at him and pats on the spot right beside her.

"Come, Jeanne, come up." She coos.

Danny watches befuddled how a black furry something hops onto the bed and rolls right onto the back, belly up and with a long pink tongue hanging out of its mouth. "Okayyy, Monkey? Who's that and where did you get it from?"

"That's Jeanne. Isn't she cute?" Grace rubs her belly and giggles. "She stays with us for a while."

"Uh-hu?" Danny can't put anything together. How does getting pancakes ready for breakfast fits with a dog sitting on his bed now?

His head shoots up when he sees Steve walking into the bedroom with a tired, cute infant on his arms. A boy with dark hair and bronze skin. He's still sleepy and clutches a worn stuffy to his chest with his head on Steve's shoulder.

Danny barks a laugh and leans back into the pillow. His heart beats a bit too fast. "Whoa, you said you wanted to make breakfast! What happened down there? Since when does the mailman deliver dogs and cute little, tired boys?" Danny's eyebrows arch upwards. Steve's looks adorable. Cheeks flushed and he glows with a tender smile shy on his lips. Danny can't help it. "I realize now you've always wanted a family but it would have been nice if you had asked me too before you ordered."

"Don't be stupid, Danno," Steve chides him with a sweet shyness.

"I'm sorry. That was a bad joke. I'm not a morning person and I'm not really awake yet. So, who wants to solve this riddle for me?" Danny leans over to scratch the dog's fluffy ears.

"Mary's in labor," Steve says and swallows. "This… god, Danny, my sister is about to have a baby!" He sits on the edge of the bed and makes sure the little boy in his arms feels comfortable. He looks down on him and presses his cheek to the boy's crown.

Danny sits bolt upright. "Mary's in labor! Whoa! That's, wow, Steve, that's wonderful, great news but scary, too, I know. You're going to be an uncle soon, babe." He wants to leap over to hug Steve to give him any sign of reassurance that everything will be fine. But Grace and Jeanne roll around in the sheets between them. He's content with circling his hand around Steve's arm. He hesitates a second and runs the back of his fingers over the quiet boy's leg. " Is she alright? Is Mary alright? Does she need our help?"

"No, yes, I mean she's fine, and no they don't need our help to drive her but they need our help to look after them." He nods in the direction of the dog and the little boy. "That was Kawika at the door. He was in a rush to drive Mary to the hospital. She's still early but her water broke and the contractions have started." Steve scoots higher up and stretches his legs in front of him on the bedcovers. "And that black fur-ball, that's Mary's dog. Her name is Jeanne D'Arc, named after the powerful woman because this little girl is from a shelter and she's a fighter. And this here, this is Nahele. He's five and a bit anxious, too much noise and haste for him in the morning."

Danny blinks at Steve and just listens. "You know him and he knows you." He could tell from the way the boy snuggles into Steve's arms, feeling completely safe and protected.

"Yes, Kawika kind of looks after him when his father has to do time." Steve speaks light-heartedly to cover up the severe topic of why Nahele stays at Kawika's and Mary's. He rushes through the next words, "his mom ran off when he was two and since then he stays often with Uncle Kawika and Aunt Mary. His father is an old friend and it's a point of honor for Kawika to look after his son. We've known each other for three years, right Nahele?" Steve bumps his nose gently against the boy's head.

Grace is completely immersed in giving Jeanne the world's best belly rubs.

Danny's eyes sting and he blows out a silent exhale through the nose. He purses his lips. "So, it's pancakes for all of us then?" He smiles over at Steve and can't help but close his fingers tenderly around Nahele's ankle. "Are you hungry, sweetheart?" Nahele hides his face in Steve's shoulder. Danny swallows more. "Do we need to buy dog food?"

"No, Kawika left the key and we'll go by his house later. We need some clothes for Nahele and there's enough dog food for Jeanne."

Danny reaches over and caresses the boy's back with soothing strokes. "Hi, Nahele. I'm Danny and this is Grace and I'm sure, we're going to have a good time. Who's anyway hungry for pancakes?"

Grace leaps off the bed followed by a bundle of joy with black fur. "I've made special ones for us, with chocolate chips and whipped cream. Nahele likes them, too. I'm sure!" She shouts before she runs down the stairs followed by a black shadow.

Steve hesitates and stays. "Look, I'm sorry. I haven't planned this. This weekend just seems to – "

"Shut up, babe. What are you even talking about? It's a great weekend! And would you look at us? We're doing great. Let's make it a wonderful day for the kids and let's get some update on Mary's and Kawika's baby. A baby, Steve, your niece. That's – that's such a gift."

Steve sucks his bottom lip between his teeth and grins. "You're the best and I fucking love you, Danny." He whispers with flushed skin.

Danny just pulls him into a kiss, a gentle, short one not to scare Nahele who seems not to mind a bit.

Sixteen hours later an exhausted but overwhelmed and thrilled Kawika calls to tell them Mary has given birth to a healthy girl. Mother and child are doing well. Steve wipes away tears and Danny tackles him down and presses him onto the couch to finally get that kiss he has wanted since the beginning of Saturday.

TBC

[monkey-network]

My Issues with Butch Hartman

Call this the sequel to my post on Mr. Enter. But honestly compared to Enter, Butch Hartman has made himself look far worse in so little time. Not only with how he uses his influence, but he basically showed his true colors not long after he left Nickelodeon. With Enter, the worst you can say about him is his opinions on media and his politics. With Hartman, there is a surprisingly lot more under his belt that made the hate towards him .

To preface this, while I’m gonna shit on this dude, I’m not shaming anyone who still likes his past content. With that said, bibbity Boppity boopity. Let’s look at the fucking scoopity.

The Telltale Oaxis

This really takes the cake as the scummiest thing Butch has done. Words and opinions can be one thing, but using your platform to basically trick some people out of their money for a project you abandoned for the most part grinds me gears a lot more. As bad as his marketing strategy was, at least Enter provided effort in his indiegogo project beforehand for god’s sake. Oaxis is one of the most pitiable crowdfunded projects I’ve seen.

It’s nearly two years since Butch got Oaxis funded and what have gotten beyond pure dead silence. Nearly two years and little to no significant updates for Oaxis’s Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, his Youtube, or the site’s official account. No wait, that last part’s kind of a lie. They had monthly updates on the official site up until September 2019. Could’ve posted this on their social medias but you take what you can get. 

The major takeaway from the updates, in all fairness, was that the kickstarter wasn’t enough and they still need to raise more funds for the service. The “capital-building” stage he calls it where he’s looking for more investors in addition to getting actual programs onto the service. That and Oaxis is a big vision for Butch and his wife in spite of not only giving up the monthly updates and basically secluding any mention of Oaxis from any place else. That’s basically it and I legit feel sorry for everyone that couldn’t get their refund back.

This isn’t HBO Max or Disney+ where you just expect them to have something together after their initial announcement because they’re already media conglomerates, this is an independent project. One that people, your fans included Butch, put over 200K thinking you would at least give people something. But beyond a “sizzle reel” that said nothing aside from Oaxis going to be a thing, you have presented jack after two years. I don’t expect the ins and outs of every business meeting with executives, but staying silent about everything except for monthly newsletters that offer very little encouraging progress and hasn’t updated since September of last year is not a good sign. And I’m especially hard on this topic, Butch, because this is the biggest point where it is seriously hard to trust you. It’s not criticizing your ego when after having too many cracks in your story, you really haven’t put your money where your mouth is.

I don’t wanna presume the guy’s given up on it, hoping everybody would forget it after a while, but he’s really put the effort in to make Oaxis feel like a afterthought. I’m not an expert in business, but even I can believe that after his non-apology for not being upfront with his initial intentions, that he’d try to provide updates on the project to not come off as the scam artist people have accused him as. Even with his Youtube channel that I’ll get to later, I don’t think it’s hard consistently posting about your so called vision if you have that much faith in its success. You’ve already gotten thousands of bucks initially with the crowdfund, people deserve more than your pitiful wishful platitudes and I unfortunately can’t believe you’ll have anything after a few years. It’s not that everyone forgot about it, but you mostly took the money and ran. If Butch pops up with something if he sees this somehow, I’ll eat that crow, but I sincerely doubt it after this long. Like at least post something on the Twitter, I get depressed just looking at it; that account is the textbook definition of famine.

The Childhood Reposter

I’ve brought up Butch’s youtube channel a couple times, and it’s when every time I look at it, it’s a little sad. When it comes to major creators, I typically think that after finishing their projects they’d move to newer things. People like Lauren Faust, Mike Judge, CH Greenblatt are all continuing to make new works under differing studios while new creators are getting the spotlight. Butch though? I mean, he has a new cartoon that I swear you’ve never heard about but other than that, the dude looks like he has little to say for himself nowadays beyond the 2 shows he’s famous for, Fairly Odd Parents and Danny Phantom. I would’ve added TUFF Puppy and Bunsen is a Beast but I can see that those two aren’t his major players seeing as how they’re rarely ever mentioned on the channel.

If it’s not some watchmojo level meme video, almost every other video is about either two of those shows in some varied fashion. I get that he “created your childhood” and made credulous bank from Nickelodeon, but it’s like Danny Phantom is all that stands between him and having an audience. That and drawing anime characters in his style which is... y’know, I’ll leave that to you. It’s like he retired and yet goes on about the good old days like a fluctuating ego. He’s still making a cartoon but to him that’s hardly a factor compared to his known successes.

Personally, I wouldn’t want to just be known as the guy who made two of your countless beloved cartoons. Not that that’s all he talks about, but it’s the insistence of his legacy that unfortunately gives me Bojack Horseman vibes. He no doubt has a good thing going but I believe that this isn’t gonna last. Just saying, dude has 850K subscribers and unless it’s a real hook like with the recent Danny Phantom/Jake Long death battle, he’s hardly getting a good fraction of views anymore. There’s only so many times you can milk Danny Phantom as your masterpiece before everyone moves on.

The Holy Boast

I wanna make this short because I’m not a huge talker of religion, but I stand to say that you should NOT, under any circumstance, believe BPD, PTSD, autism, fucking heart & kidney failure can be “cured” or “healed” through sermons of prayer. This here? This is genuinely something else.

https://www.healingjourneys.today/

For clarity, this was a gospel conference hosted by Butch and his wife and yes, they openly proclaim that BPD, austism, and heart disease can be cured through prayer of holy worship.

Now, I’m gonna give a full disclosure right here because this most certainly biases my point here, like I’m gonna own this. But my grandpa was a religious man that suffer from health problems. He notably prayed to carry on, yes, but at the same time he sought medical help. Even he told me that prayers wasn’t gonna keep the pacemaker going, he went to the doctors and actually did more than read the bible to improve himself. He unfortunately passed, but he was in his 70s and I honestly couldn’t believe, as hard as I try, that he was gonna live forever. My grandpa would’ve no doubt died far earlier if he followed this conference’s logic.

My point is that this is personally unsettling. I seriously cannot believe this is how autism and religion works and it blows my mind that him and his wife thought this conference was a suitable idea. I’m not bashing them as christians, but thinking mental disorders and bodily diseases can be done away with motivational seminars because that’s basically what they are is a legit slap to the face. And the seedling idea that they’ve done this before blows my mind.

The Financial Flaker

This is very recent and everything is generally explained in the 12 minute video but long story short: Butch hired an artist and never paid them for their work. The artist in question, Kuro, describes what happened between him and Butch in this video and provides receipts. Can’t really add anything to this myself beyond this just builds to the idea that Butch cannot be trusted as a professional business maker. I believe he still has people working for him but from this video, it tells me that Hartman will gladly use those lower than him in favorable pursuits and will gladly throw ignorance when he wants to because his cartoon veteran status presents that shield from thinking he can do no wrong, which can mean throttling his hires.  Let’s end this.

The Conclusion

When I get down to it, Butch is almost a Machiavellian character in a way. It’s amazing how much the trust people have had with Hartman have evaporated in less than a couple years. It’s amazing how much his ego has truly shown after he stopped being a namestay in Nickelodeon. Haven’t even mentioned the times he arrogantly deflected criticism because he was a namestay at Nick and how a couple who’ve worked with are well aware of his ego. I can’t help but believe that even after everything, he claims ignorance to his fall from grace and keeps going. Even when more and more are knowing his true self, he’s mostly just doing what he’s been doing for the past few years.

It’s respectable in a way, but shows that the world will move on without him. Again, if you like Danny Phantom and Fairly OddParents, I won’t judge you for it nor say you should be ashamed. This isn’t about cancelling Butch, or get him to stop spreading whatever wacky things he believes in. It’s my personal take of how this man whom I once respected because of what he made before has lost every bit of that from me. It really feels like he grew up with that “I Created Your Childhood” mentality being a 4 time showrunner for almost a couple decades. And when he finally left Nickelodeon, I guess the chance to be that stand out self-made success got to his head and he finally showed his true colors. I now find it hard to believe Butch cares about the little guy that were his fans as much as he rides off his success and others who tolerate him. As such, like JK Rowling, more are seeing this side of him and leaving him behind. Meanwhile Butch is gonna chug on until he just loses steam. It’s kinda like Icarus where the guy will make every effort to fly to the sun. But sooner or later, he’s gonna fall, and in the end I doubt anyone’s gonna care to see it. I know he won’t.

[shineonyoucomplexdiamond]

Some thoughts on Manifest S2

I am so curious to see what’s coming up next on Manifest. Here are some thoughts after 2x01. Let’s dive in. 

JARED x MICK x ZEKE

On S1, I loved Jared and Michaela so much. I only wished he had worked things out with Lourdes before actually get into it with Mick. But then, Zeke was introduced. He looked and acted a bit odd, but I’ve grown to like him. And now I really, really like him. His connection with both Mick and Cal is just amazing.

And Jared just... changed so much. His obsession with Mick is kinda... scary, and annoying. He didn’t respect her or any of her decisions, which ended up with her getting shot. He didn’t understand why she cut him off when she was at the hospital (even tried to make her feel bad about it when they met at the precinct). Also when she told him she told Zeke to run, and he says “I’m gonna pretend you didn’t just say this to me”. Like wtf, man? Then, he kept pressuring her and judging her regarding Zeke and her defending him. Basically, it feels like he’s emotionally blackmailing her, and I don’t like it one bit. (Even the extra rude look, his stiff posture like “I’m the good guy here, I can’t believe you’re doing this to me, I did it for you, I have no fault in this.”)

And also, after, Jared pins all the blame on Zeke. Ok, he had the gun, but if Jared hadn’t done exactly what Mick told him not to, it wouldn’t have happened. And Zeke definitely didn’t mean for that to happen. Jared so went there trying to find trouble. He so did. He just wanted Mick to hate Zeke. He knew Zeke is a bit unstable, still trying to make sense of things...he’s traumatized, just like every one else from flight 828. They’ve been through so much. So he just poked him, provoked him, because he knew he’d snap. He just didn’t count on Mick showing up. And again, I didn’t like it one bit.

Resuming, Jared is pretty much cancelled for me right now. But we’ll see what happens next.

DANNY x GRACE x BEN x SAANVI

So. Grace is pregnant. We have two options. Either Grace x Ben is canon and the baby is his. Or it isn’t, and the baby is Danny’s, leading Ben to (hopefully) Saanvi. I firmly believe it’s the latter.

In S1, I found Grace very irritating and egotistical. She never tried to see what Ben was going through, what he was feeling. She was just all about “We were 5 years without you”, “You don’t talk to me”, bla bla bla. When she wasn’t even able to come clean to him about Danny. I get why it was so difficult to her, but at the same time, I feel like she was playing a fool out of them both.

And now, I just get the feeling that she doesn’t love Ben as she used to, but she can’t let him go. She feels like she owes him, and their kids. They were gone for five years, it’s like she wants to give them the family times they missed. A family. But they’re in different spots in their lifes. So much has happened... it just isn’t the same.

And in her latest encounter with Danny, it was clear to me that she had missed him. And she didn’t tell him about the pregnancy, because deep down she knows it’s his. Which is why she later tells Ben that they need to know who is the father.

I feel like when she thought Ben was dead, she was forced to learn to live without him. But now, she can’t picture her life without him (alive) in it. Is this making any sense? I hope so ahah.

Eventually they’ll figure this out, so that Ben can finally see Saanvi. She’s already seeing light in her feelings for him... hopefully he starts seeing it too. I think he feels it, he just... doesn’t see it.

CAL | OLIVE

ALSO. Cal is great!!! I love him so mucchhhhhhh!!!! Can’t wait to see what’s in store for him too!!! And there was so little of Olive this episode... But I liked how she was waiting for Grace to be honest with Danny. And then surprised, but quickly getting to why she didn’t. 

VANCE

Vance is aliveeeeee! Man, I am curious!!!!

THE MAJOR

Saanvi’s sessions with the Major... it gives me anxiety!! She’s definitely tricking her into sharing all of her secrets. Poor Saanvi. She went through so much, and she is dealing with serious mental health issues. Finally, she takes the hard step of finding help, only to end up manipulated by her therapist. And also I feel like she is so lonely... Yeah, she meets with Ben, but he’s just... absorbed by everything else. Can this woman have a break? I swear... 

Saanvi clearly isn't aware that her confessions will most likely be used against her... because, obviously, the Major doesn't have her best interests in mind. She’s so strong, but yet so sweet and sensitive; she had ptsd, anxiety, etc.; she has a hard time confiding and trusting in people... so when she realizes that the Major was manipulating her all along, it will definitely take a toll on her...

Lastly. THE DEATH NOTE. I’m still wtf by that so I don’t exactly have some thoughts or an opinion on it

i’m so sorry about the big ass rant..

WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK?????