#Diary of a Wimpy Kid

[noodlearg]

happy international women’s day!!!

[fallingforfred]

maybe it was just because you guys were best friends ⸝⸝ 𝒓𝒐𝒅𝒓𝒊𝒄𝒌 𝒉𝒆𝒇𝒇𝒍𝒆𝒚 (pt. 1)

a/n: the rodrick heffley hyperfixation is coming back so you already know how EXTRA i'm going to be with this... expect more of rodrick to come haha context: you're rodrick's best friend and you came to see greg's play--in which rodrick embarrasses him by bringing a camera (you already know this scene) warnings: tad bit of swearing, rodrick is kinda clingy, reader is the opposite of rodrick (i made her similar to rory gilmore if you can't already tell by the banner!) wordcount: 2.7k

you and rodrick have been best friends ever since you could read–meaning the two of you had been stuck together since childhood.

your family was next door neighbours with the heffley’s, meaning that you often spent a lot of time with them.

it was a chilly afternoon of early february as you had your nose dug into a book while your dominant hand absentmindedly scribbled doodles into your journal.

It was a saturday so you didn’t have anything better to do.

you could hang out with rodrick, but he was having band practice and he didn’t ask you to come watch yesterday–so you thought it’d be rude to come uninvited.

besides that, you spent the entirety of yesterday with him anyway. rodrick, the “evil” older brother that he was, was scheming ways to humiliate greg for his play today of the wizard of oz–but had no idea on just what to do.

and so, you brought up how your mom used to record you during your old plays in elementary, how embarrassed you used to feel.

when you told him that, however, the look on his face lit up like it was the cure to cancer or something.

you didn’t expect rodrick to take that advice seriously because it was merely just a story, but he prepared his dad’s digital camera anyway.

“sweetie!” your mom knocked on the door before opening it, her lips curving up into a warm smile which you were all too familiar about.

as she leaned against the doorframe, she looked over at you with her arms pressing against her chest.

“your father and I are going on a little date tonight, think you can stay home alone or do you want me to ask susan if you can stay over?”

“mmm, maybe ask mrs. heffley–only if she doesn’t mind though.” you said considerately as your mom smiled and left your room.

placing your bookmark inbetween the two pages you were on in your book, you tidied up your desk before eventually getting up to stretch.

it was probably around 4:30 or so and you were still feeling a little bored.

unlike other teenagers in your grade, your parents didn’t trust you with a phone which you honestly thought was for the best given how distracted rodrick easily got with his.

rodrick.

you wondered when his band practice would end. it usually ended late at night but given that mrs. heffley was mostly likely forcing the entire family to come to greg’s school play that evening, you were sure his band would end practice soon enough. “honey, get ready! we’re leaving soon!” your mom called from downstairs as that only rushed you to start picking out the clothes you were gonna wear. it was guaranteed you’d be attending the play too.

“did susan say yes??!” you shouted back to your mom as you closed your door, changing into some jeans and a light blue long-sleeved top with a sheer panel across the shoulders and chest.

“yep, come on, pumpkin!” your dad called out from downstairs as well, causing you to panic and get ready even faster.

you put on some lip-gloss and did a coat of mascara before clipping some portions of your hair back in a half-up half-down style.

“honey!” your mom called out again as you immediately turned the light off in your room and swiftly left, making your way down the stairs.

“I’m coming, I’m coming!” you giggled as your parents stood by the door, ready to go as they had on their coats and winter wear already.

“come on! reservation is at 5:30, we don’t got all day missy.” your mom hummed playfully as you slung your black coat on with a purple scarf, slipping into your chestnut uggs.

“okayyy, what are you guys waiting for? let’s get in the car. ” you smiled, leaving the house first before them as you hurried over to the suv your dad drove.

a little later you were dropped off at the front porch of the heffley’s as you rang the doorbell, your hands held together as you patiently waited for someone to greet you.

though even from outside the door, you could hear the distinct chaotic voices of the family living in the house.

you could tell that rodrick did something to greg again as mrs. heffley’s voice was the loudest out of all of them.

given that it was a little chillier out, you rang the doorbell again–which was something you never really did–so in a matter of seconds, the door swung open.

“h-hey!” greg said with a dorky smile spreading across his face.

he was getting a little taller by the years, it made you realize how much time had passed.

“hey, may I come in? It’s freezing.” you said with a breathy chuckle as he made space for you to enter, giving you time to take your boots and winter coat off.

“I didn’t know you were coming over today…?” greg mumbled with a slight hint of trepidation given that he was going to perform in a play in about an hour.

“well my parents are going on a date and your mom said she’d watch me.” you replied casually, unwrapping the scarf off your neck as greg guided you to the living room.

you flopped down on the couch as he settled down on the ground, looking up at you.

“ohhh, but aren’t you already too old to be babysat?” greg said a little bluntly, causing you to let out a small chuckle in amusement.

“babysat?” rodrick repeated greg’s words with a smirk on his face, leaning against the doorframe from the hallway that led to the kitchen.

but as his gaze averted to the sight of you, he hurried over and tackled you on the couch, ruffling up your hair.

“hey you dork! why didn’t you come see me play today?” rodrick huffed, his actions were always so touchy and forward when it came to you.

it was a little ironic really because he was a complete loser when it came to other girls that weren’t you.

perhaps he thought of you differently, or maybe it was just because you guys were best friends.

“well you didn’t ask me to yesterday so I thought it was some private practice or something…” you shrugged your shoulders lightly, giving him the opportunity to capture you in a playful headlock.

you couldn’t help but giggle as he did this, causing you to try and swat him away but he wouldn’t budge.

“since when were my band practices private when it came to you? I told you were my special spectator, didn’t I?”

“spectator.. ooh, big words rodrick, big words.”

“hey are you indirectly calling me dumb?”

mrs. heffley entered the room, instantly noticing the proximity between rodrick and you.

it was common to see them all close with each other, almost as if it was a natural thing to do.

however, she still couldn’t help but smirk at the sight of the two adolescents.

they were a stark difference to each other, with rodrick in a band shirt and messed up hair while your hair was neatly done and wore freshly cleaned clothes.

“hey sweetie, it’s lovely to see you!” mrs. heffley hummed as your head instantly turned to look at the woman.

“hi mrs. heffley, thanks for having me over.” you smiled in turn, getting out of your spot beside rodrick–who followed behind you–towards mrs. heffley.

“it’s my pleasure! we always love having you over, especially a special someone.” the woman smirked smugly, winking her eye in an obvious manner as rodrick mumbled under his breath in embarrassment.

you couldn’t help but laugh at this exchange as you shrugged your shoulders and slipped your thumbs through the belt loops of your jeans.

“mom it’s almost 5:30, I’m supposed to be at school by now!” greg panicked as all their attention shifted to him, watching as he ran out the room towards the stairs to get changed.

“goodness…! oh, sweetheart, would you and rodrick watch over manny for me while I go get changed?”

“of course, mrs. heffley.” you chuckled, looking up at rodrick as your eyes met, sharing a smile with each other.

as mrs. heffley left the living room to head upstairs to wear something more presentable for the play, you and rodrick made your way over to the kitchen where manny was eating a snack at his high chair.

“hey manny!!” you smiled, bending down to his level to greet the toddler who babbled in excitement at the sight of you.

manny picked up a baby carrot from his tray, handing it over to you as you gratefully accepted it.

“hey that food’s supposed to be for manny, shortstack.” rodrick smirked, taking a carrot of his own from his baby brother’s tray though manny smacked his hand in the process.

“watch it little dude..!” rodrick huffed, causing you to chuckle at that.

“careful, that’s stealing.”

“oh, as if you aren’t eating manny’s carrot yourself.”

“he was sharing it with me, there’s a difference.” you said in a playful matter-of-fact tone before he shoved his carrot between your lips.

you rolled your eyes in response, taking a bite of the carrot regardless as you looked up at him in a mix of fluster and annoyance whereas he was looking down at you with a shit-eating grin on his face.

"aww, looks like someone's getting a bit grumpy.. how cute.” rodrick said smugly as your cheeks heated up, causing you to bite down on his fingers in which he yelped.

“you’re evil, you.. you woman!” he stuttered, bringing his injured fingers to his chin as he hid it away from you, making you giggle in satisfaction.

"hey I’m not evil, I'm just tired of that conceited grin on your face." you said defiantly, trying to cover up the fact that him feeding you that carrot was getting you a little flustered.

“conceited??? is that another word for charming? how generous of you, shortstack.” rodrick smirked while you rolled your eyes in disbelief.

“ha ha, very witty. finding every opportunity you can to boost your ego, huh?”

“I’ll pretend to act like I know what that means.”

“rodrick..”

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding, you think I’m that dumb?” he sniggered, crossing his arms.

“did you get the camera ready?” you sighed, pursing your lips to the side as you glanced up at him with a little smirk.

“I knew I was forgetting something! bless your pretty little head, c’mon, let’s go to my room–”

“and manny?”

“oh, right, I mean I’ll go to my room. I’ll be back quickly, swear!”

you watched as he left the kitchen quickly, a smile plastering on your lips before you looked down at manny with a soft sigh escaping your lips.

“lemme clean you up, little guy.” you hummed, taking his bib off as you grabbed a napkin to clean his mouth.

mrs heffley, mr heffley, manny, rodrick, and you were situated at the crowd of families that went to go watch the play act out.

it was busy alright, but you couldn’t help but feel a little excited to see the play take place.

you enjoyed seeing entertainment, so how bad could little kids performing the wizard of oz be?

before the curtains opened, rodrick took out the digital camera he had mentioned from earlier.

after he finished setting it up, he wrapped his arm around your shoulder as he scooted you closer to him.

"god, you shouldn’t have come y’know? I just know this’ll suck.” he murmured as your turned your head to look at him.

you felt a little shy at how close your faces were and it seemed as though he noticed it took as his cheeks turned into a shade of pink, causing him to clear his throat and avert his gaze towards the stage.

but as the first scene played out, you couldn’t help but awe at how adorable the girl who played dorothy looked in her blue plaided dress.

you were quiet the whole time, your attention focused on the stage in front of them as you forgot all about your surroundings.

rodrick, on the other hand, had noticed your engrossed appearance as he rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, leaning over towards you.

"ugh, this is so dumb… why are you getting so into it..?" he whispered over to you, his eyes trained on the play.

“cause it’s adorable, mind you. you’re lucky you’ve got younger siblings.” you chuckled quietly.

though as the scene continued, rodrick still had his body pressed against yours, and so you instinctively rested your head on his shoulder.

"adorable? no. obnoxious and annoying? yes.” he joked, rolling his eyes. he felt your head on his shoulder, and smiled to himself.

trying to be slick, (in which he literally never is) rodrick wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him.

"and trust me, you do NOT want siblings… It sucks ass.." he murmured as you let out a chuckle.

rodrick felt comfortable being close to you like this. It was nice, considering he was a bit more of a.. 'physical' kinda guy.

he liked having some physical interaction. physical affection. physical ANYTHING.

he pulled you a bit closer, his hand tightening on your waist absentmindedly. however you didn’t fail to notice as your own cheeks were heating up.

thank god the lights were directly on the stage or rodrick would see how beet red you looked at the moment.

"why is everyone else so obsessed with this anyway..?" he groaned, referring to the play.

“because it’s adorable seeing these little kids perform. c’mon, have some mercy, rodrick. everyone starts somewhere before they’re majorly talented, y’know, like how you are with löded diper.”

"oh please don't put Greg's acting in the same category as my band. PLEASE."

rodrick looked down at you, admiring your face as you watched the play with all that attention and fascination in your expression.

rodrick continued to watch you, he really couldn't care less about the talent show, and more about how adorable you were.

he felt a bit of a possessive feeling wash over him, and he moved his hand from your waist, to your hip.

he rubbed it with his thumb, and pulled you even CLOSER. closer than you already were.

“keep pulling us closer and we’ll mold like clay, rodrick. it’s hot in here with all the heaters,” you tore your eyes away from the stage as you looked up at him again.

rodrick chuckled, a smirk on his face. he held your gaze for a moment, before his hand moved down to your thigh.

it’s safe to say that he was feeling INCREDIBLY confident today.

"you act like that's a bad thing, or something." he jokingly said. he was a bit surprised at how easily he could be so… 'touchy' with you considering you guys were just best friends.

perhaps he thought of you differently, or maybe it was just because you guys were best friends.

his thoughts started to wander a bit, and his gaze shifted back to your face. he couldn't help it, he found you extremely attractive.

but not only that, you were his best friend–he already loved everything about you.

he knew it might end badly to start something like this with one of his best friends, but his feelings for you were getting the best of him…

“BUBBY!!” manny babbled out, turning everyone’s attention from the stage to manny, then back to the stage again where greg looked nothing but humiliated.

laughter filled the crowd, but rodrick’s was the loudest as he took out his digital camera.

he was embarrassed for his little brother, and he was already waiting to make fun of him for it later.

he was definitely going to be teasing him about playing a DAMN TREE for a long ass time..

“oh god.. he looks ridiculous..” you whispered, releasing a fit of soft laughter at greg’s mortified expression.

"I know, right?" rodrick snickered, starting to film and pointed the camera directly at greg who caught onto what he was doing.

he was trying really hard to hold back his laughter, seeing his little brother getting embarrassed like this was too good to be true.

"he looks like an absolute idiot.. I'm going to tease him about this forever," rodrick snickered, you still giggling away by his side.

[animentality]

[tarateatimesblog]

"Monitoring" by DECO*27 ahh Greg Heffley😭🙏 ugly mf🙏😭

Hee! Hee!

He knows where you live!

[springbloggy]

happy pride to greg heffley techno laseraxe

[creepst-crypt]

*sob*

Og^^

[fear-is-truth]

okay but imagine this . . .

you get hired to babysit manny for the night—just manny, susan assures you—but as soon as you walk through the door, it’s clear you’ve inherited all three heffley boys.

greg follows you like around like a puppy. he talks nonstop about how middle school is full of “juvenile morons” and how people say he’s “wise beyond his years” (no one has ever said that). he keeps trying to bring up high school drama he barely understands.

rodrick clearly didn’t know you were coming, because when he sees you, he immediately vanishes upstairs. a few minutes later, he reappears—wearing heavy eyeliner and smelling like half a can of axe. (“oh, didn’t know you were here tonight,”) he orders pizza, leans over the back of the couch and tries to impress you by talking about his band.

manny is barely a factor. (greg handed over a sleeve of cookies and let him play with his gameboy in exchange)

when susan and frank finally get home, the house is unusually quiet and suspiciously tidy. manny’s already in bed, and greg is wiping down the counter. rodrick, of all things, is vacuuming the living room. frank stands in the doorway, eyeing his sons like he’s trying to figure out if they’ve been replaced by aliens.

susan thanks you with a smile, handing you your payment, and the boys? they’re already plotting to make sure you come back next week.

[cheezy-whizz]

my fashion inspiration btw

[firewirecompatible]

the diary is written by an asshole middle schooler i don't really think he's the most reliable narrator

[evilchipette]

i’m sorry women

[lustagel]

Perv! Virgin! Rodrick. My beloved. (This is a sign to perchance make more)

wrote it as perv! loser! virgin rodrick :p pantie stealing, cum play, normal perv behavior.

you when you first started dating, rodrick purposely walked in on you changing or naked. he’ll act like he was distracted by something or he just didn’t hear you say you were in there and walking straight into the bathroom. always mumbles out a “sorry” when you tell him to leave.

helps himself to your panties every time you leave them at his house. if you can’t come and get them within a couple days, they won’t be washed until you tell him you’re coming to get them. he begs you to tell him when you’re coming over to get them so he can wash them quickly before you can questions him about the cum stains.

loves when you wear small clothes: tight shorts that fit your ass perfectly, a deep cut shirt that almost give him a view of your nipples. he’s stuttering over his words, trying to keep his breath steady but he’s about to cum in his pants.

loves when your lips are wet. whether it’s with spit because you just kissed him or with lipgloss. really just likes the thought of them being wet with his cum.

hates when you drape your leg on his. you’re not only so close to the point where he can smell your sweet perfume but the warm of your leg is giving him a rush.

who is touched starved. turns down the air a bit when he wants to lay on your chest so he can feel your nipples get hard. he fall asleep like this every time. his face pressed up to your tits, hair messy, lips slightly in a pout while little huffs leave the small gap between his lips.

needs to be seen as super cool in public so he always has a arm around your shoulder, even though he’s already super cool with you on his arm, but is holding his breath the whole time with your sweet scent so close to him.

who once saw you blending over with only a t-shirt and underwear on, and his heart almost gave out. has photograph memory when it comes to lewd views of you so he definitely cums a couple times to it.

who once he gets his cock in you, he can’t stop. he’s never felt anything so warm and wet before. he’s continually pumping his cock into you eagerly even after he’s cum once. he’s whining and his legs are slightly giving out, but he just can’t stop.

“think i can be inside you forever?”

eats pussy like you would think loser would. of course, he’s slightly delusional about his ability to please you at first but once he’s laying in between your legs all he can do is blink up at you and wait for instructions.

the scent on your freshly wet pussy is literally everything to him, he’s been going off weak panties for sooo long. on that note, he steals fresh panties now. before he eats your pussy, he takes them off of you and makes sure to stuff them in his pocket or does it later when you’re too dazed with his mouth on you to notice.

likes jacking off and rubbing your clit with his cum covered fingers.

when you ride him, he literally comes in a couple minutes. he’s embarrassed, you can see it by the way his face turns red, and he’s whining out as he does. “sorry-ugh s-sorry, sorry i just- hmph.” with you still on his cock, promises you he’ll do better next time and asks you to keep going.

kisses you through it. they’re greedy and needy too. he knows he’s inside of you but he just wants to be even closer. also needs to hide his embarrassing whines even though you’ve told him many times that you like them.

[yellenabelova]

Diary of a Wimpy Kid (2010) dir. Thor Freudenthal

[animentality]

[punkeropercyjackson]

Ma'am that character is not a shameless slut he is a sometimes cocky teenage boy

[pixiexdusts-world]

Meet the Heffley’s

Rodrick Heffley x reader

Summary: Rodrick’s girlfriend meets his chaotic family, and Manny tries to steal her. She loves it anyway.

Word count: 1010

Notes: this is very random but I love Rodrick so I needed to write something

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Title: Meet the Heffleys

Meeting your boyfriend’s family is supposed to be a big deal, right? Like, one of those moments where you dress nice, bring flowers or something, and sit down for an awkwardly polite dinner while his parents judge you.

Yeah. That’s not how things work with Rodrick Heffley.

When he invited me over for dinner, it was more like, “Hey, my mom said you should come over and eat with us or whatever.” Super romantic. But I agreed because, well… I wanted to meet them. Rodrick talks about his family all the time, mostly to complain, but still. I was curious.

So, here I am, standing on the Heffleys’ front porch, wondering if I should have brought something. Probably not. This doesn’t seem like the kind of house where formal dinner etiquette exists.

Before I can knock, the door swings open, and there he is.

Rodrick smirks, leaning against the doorframe like he’s so cool. “Well, well, well. Look who finally decided to show up.”

I roll my eyes, stepping closer. “I’m on time.”

“Yeah, well, you were supposed to be, like, ten minutes late so I could say something sarcastic about it.”

I laugh and kiss his cheek, just to make him flustered. It works. His smirk falters for half a second before he clears his throat and steps aside. “Alright, come in before my mom starts thinking I made you up.”

The inside of the house is exactly what I expected. A little messy, with random shoes lying around, a stack of newspapers no one’s bothered to throw away, and a distinct family chaos vibe. The smell of dinner cooking comes from the kitchen, something warm and homey.

And then I hear it.

“Rodrick! She’s here?!”

Before I can react, a woman appears—short, blonde, and way too excited. I barely have time to brace myself before she pulls me into a hug. “It’s so nice to finally meet you! I’m Susan, Rodrick’s mom. Oh, you’re even prettier than I imagined!”

“Uh, thanks,” I manage, shooting a look at Rodrick, who just shrugs like, Yeah, this is happening.

His mom pulls back, holding me at arm’s length. “Rodrick never tells us anything about his personal life. You should’ve seen my face when he said he had a girlfriend. I almost dropped my coffee!”

Rodrick groans. “Mom.”

“What?” She waves him off. “I’m just happy to meet her. Oh, come in, come in! We’re just about to set the table.”

I follow her into the dining room, where a younger boy sits at the table, flipping through a comic book. He glances up, eyes narrowing slightly.

“You’re Rodrick’s girlfriend?”

“Greg,” Susan scolds. “Be nice.”

“What? I’m just saying.” Greg shrugs, then looks at me. “You do know he’s, like, the worst, right?”

“Hey, shut up, loser,” Rodrick snaps, dropping into a chair.

I grin. “Oh, I know.”

Greg blinks, clearly not expecting that. Then he mutters, “Huh. Okay.”

That’s when I feel a tiny hand grab mine.

I glance down to see a little kid—Manny, I recognize him from Rodrick’s rare stories about him—staring up at me with big eyes.

“I have a girlfriend too,” he announces proudly.

Susan gasps. “Manny! Since when?”

“Since yesterday,” he says, like it’s obvious. Then he looks back up at me and asks, completely serious, “Do you like dinosaurs?”

I nod. “Who doesn’t like dinosaurs?”

Manny grins, clearly satisfied with my answer. “Okay. You’re my second girlfriend now.”

Rodrick groans. “Oh my God.”

Greg snickers. “Dude, you already have competition.”

Manny tugs at my sleeve again. “Rodrick is gross. Do you wanna be just my girlfriend instead?”

Rodrick drops his fork. “Are you kidding me? Mom, tell him he can’t steal my girlfriend!”

Susan barely holds back a laugh. “Manny, sweetie, she’s Rodrick’s girlfriend.”

Manny huffs. “Fine.”

This is amazing.

Dinner is… interesting. The food is good—spaghetti and garlic bread—but the conversation is pure chaos. Susan keeps asking me questions about school, my family, my plans for the future (Rodrick groans at that one). Greg watches me like he’s trying to figure out why I’d willingly date his brother. And Manny? He spends the whole meal making dramatic faces at Rodrick and occasionally whispering, “Rodrick is a doo-doo head.”

Rodrick spends most of the meal making sarcastic comments and kicking me under the table whenever his mom gets too nosy.

At one point, their dad, Frank, comes in late, looking exhausted. He gives me a polite nod, sits down, and immediately starts ranting about something Rodrick did last week. Rodrick barely reacts, just shoveling food into his mouth while his mom scolds him and Greg smirks like he enjoys watching his brother get in trouble.

It’s loud. It’s messy. It’s so different from my own family’s quiet dinners.

And I kind of love it.

After we eat, Rodrick grabs my hand and tugs me toward the stairs. “Alright, we’re done here. Bye.”

“Rodrick, wait—” Susan starts, but he’s already leading me to his room.

The second he shuts the door, he groans. “I told you my family was annoying.”

I flop onto his bed, laughing. “I like them.”

He gives me a look. “You like them?”

“Yeah. Your mom is sweet, Greg is funny, and Manny… well, he’s trying to steal me, but other than that, he’s adorable.”

Rodrick snorts. “I knew that kid was trouble.”

I smile and lean in, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Not worried, are you?”

He grumbles something under his breath, but I can tell he’s relieved. And maybe even a little happy.

Yeah. I think I’m gonna like being around the Heffleys.