#ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING I WAS DRAWING HIM WITH NIKOLAI

[brokenpieces-72]

Monster!141 x female! Jackalope/wendigo reader

CW/TW: poor eating habits, mentions of eating, mentions of human meat, crying, younger reader, note: in no way am I intending to offend anyone.

This was inspired by both @diejager and @bluegiragi and includes the reader character Hunter. This is also my first fanfiction being posted here and I have a couple to come if this one goes well.

A program is set up for hybrids that are considered difficult to control or dangerous to be around in public. Usually this is when their current living conditions are deemed as unsafe.

A jackalope with little knowledge of their own self fits both sides so locations and positions are set up for them to be in a safe controlled environment to learn how to keep themselves under control.

Price isn’t exactly happy when Laswell brings this to him. He’s not a babysitter and neither are his men. She explains to him there is little to be done and while she doesn’t agree with sending a vulnerable, uneducated, untrained teenager to a military base that deals with monsters, humans and hybrids alike, there isn’t much she can do either. Thankfully she does have some say in it, able to choose who comes on to the base. The files for candidates are sent to Price as well for review and upon looking at yours with a very dark and concerning past, he considers tossing it aside. Then he sees what hybrid you are. Having a few encounters in his past with hybrids like you he figures it would be safer taking you in then letting someone else get to you.

You do receive some training before transferring with a Retainer/handler who watches over you and determines whether you are ready to integrate into society. You aren’t sure if this will really help you join society but you figure it’s better someone taking you in rather than staying in the program. Price intends to put you to work after all and the location isn’t without risk. You’re told there are other hybrids on base, and you assume there will be at least a couple.

The first person you meet is Nikolai, the pilot for the awkward bumpy flight to base. He’s almost twice your height, plenty of people you have met are. You’re not very tall so not surprising, but you aren’t very used to people. Part of the program especially for you is keeping you isolated from most humans. His friendly attitude towards you is a little startling but you warm up to it quickly.

The flight was mostly your retainer setting ground rules and briefing you on what you will be doing. You would be training with him mostly, and doing everything he says. No stuffing your face, meals kept strict, and no seconds or late snacks. Nikolai calls you to the front halfway through the journey and lets you sit next to him. He could overhear your conversation with the retainer, wanted to give you a break from it while wanting to learn more about you.

You don’t have much to say, cause well you haven’t done much on your own. Well you do enjoy drawing, and reading. Sometimes writing is fun but that’s mostly it so far. He tells you a bit about the 141, recounting the small tales but while hinting at what hybrids you’ll be working with.

Soon you land on the base and exit the chopper heading towards the Task Force 141. In front is a dragon hybrid and next to him is a human, both in uniform. Names are exchanged and you’re led inside the base where you meet the others. You notice he’s missing a wing and his tail wrapping around the human’s leg. As a hybrid your instincts tell you what he’s doing. You’re not a massive threat to him being so young, but his body language makes it clear the value he puts in the medic and likely the rest of his men. He read your file, so you can’t blame him for being extra protective. You keep your head down as you’re taken inside with your handler.

You’re introduced to each of the 141 including the human, who asks to do a health assessment before anything else. Your retainer is strongly against this, insisting that you’ve already been cleared and don’t require one. There’s somewhat of a back and forth between them with you simply standing there. Your handler raises his voice and you have to dig your nails into your palm to not run off. You’re wondering if you should offer your own choice or ask someone what you should do while waiting. Price puts it forward that you get a check up so that Hunter can assess your conditions first hand.

You follow Hunter to their station in the infirmary, taking you to a private room. Hunter gets many looks while you follow them from the other soldiers with a couple even following with them to the room. You meet a harpy called Gaz and a werewolf called Soap. They stick closer to Hunter almost in a protective sense. Though each of them give you an acknowledgement. Soap has never smelled a hybrid like you before, and Gaz wasn’t sure what to make of you either. Your rabbit ears and antlers were hardly a cause for alarm though. You weren’t exactly intimidating. Hunter takes you into the private room while the two hybrids wait outside, offering to help them with paperwork and taking you to wherever you need to go next. The examination is very simple, checking to see your vitals, understanding how you worked so Hunter could help you on missions, and learning any instinctual habits you may have.

When Hunter asks you to take off your hoodie and remove your shirt, you do so. Their eyes go wide upon seeing your body. Your retainer’s “work” was evident by your rib cage and flattening stomach.

“When was the last time you ate?” Hunter asks.

When you tell them the last time you ate, they excuse themselves. You wait for about 15 minutes, when there’s a knock telling you to get dressed and come out. Gaz is still there but clearly Soap had left with Hunter. He takes you to a small room for you to bunk in for the next while.

You later find out Hunter had left the room and smacked your retainer for his methods. Even Price had to get involved to keep the two from getting more violent. Hunter is certainly a force to be reckoned with when it comes to patients. The handler believes that limiting your food intake will help you keep control. Hunter doesn’t agree with starving you, but Price can’t really argue with it.

The next while you’re training, and you do everything you can to keep up. Your limits are pushed and Price isn’t about to go easy on you. Partially cause he hopes the retainer will increase your food intake. It’s a lot, and Hunter doesn’t like seeing you running laps and drills knowing you haven’t been eating much. You push yourself hard, not giving in to judgements from humans or the other hybrids. It doesn’t matter if you’re the last or the worst or even fail the most, you keep pushing.

Meals are strict, with small but reasonable portions for you and eating by yourself in your room. For the next while this becomes the routine, with the occasional snack being slid to you by Hunter. It does make sleep difficult and your stomach growls periodically. Soap takes notice right away how bad it is, your stomach is almost like a random alarm for him, that he can’t shut off.

“You hungry?” He asks sarcastically. You shake your head, only for your stomach to object again. Soap rolls his eyes.

“Take a couple.” He says offering you some of his snacks. When you try to turn it down, he starts insisting harder. “Come on, the noise is drivin me bloody mad. Take em, a few won’t kill ya.”

You do so, and you take another couple after. Soon enough he’s slipping you pieces of his snacks when your handler isn’t around, like chips or cookies.

You have to go to school still, off base and some jerks decided to lock in a closet. Despite your protests and pleas they decide to leave you there overnight. You have a few snacks but you can feel yourself getting increasingly hungry, and you know it won’t be long until you lose it. You try your handler but they aren’t picking up. You don’t want to but you call Soap who picks up groggily.

“The hell is callin…” he groans.

“Soap it’s me…I’m really sorry…” there is a quiver in your voice as you talk.

“…kid? The bleeding hell you still doing up? Wait, where the ell are you?”

You explain you’re stuck and hungry and really need help.

“Alright alright…I’m on my way… you need food?”

“Yes.”

He sighs and asks what you want to eat, if there’s any comfort food you have while he’s getting his shoes and pants on.

“Are you mad…” you ask in a small voice he can just barely hear over the phone. He’s been in highschool as a hybrid and had people pick on him, call him a mutt yank at his tail, try to get him in trouble and whatnot.

“I’m mad at the pieces of shite that did this to you. What do you want to eat?” He says. You tell him and wait patiently after he hangs up.

Gaz is woken up, and looks over.

“Was goin on…” Gaz asks.

“Kid is stuck at school. Literally.” Soap says, lacing his shoes.

“She have food?” Gaz mutters rubbing sleep out of his eyes.

“No, so I’m getting her some.”

“What she want?” Gaz yawns.

Soap tells him and he orders it for pick up before getting dressed himself.

“What is she still doing at school?” Gaz asked pulling his hoodie on. “Little help?”

Soap helps get Gaz’s wings through the slots on his hoodie as he explains. Gaz can relate. He’s been bullied as well, and hell you’re a kid with a strong will. It’s not fair for you to be pushed so hard only for school to make you feel like shit. They pick up the food and head over to the school.

“Come on.” Soap jogs to the door and tries it. “Mother…they don’t check if anyone’s still inside?”

Gaz takes one of his feathers off and picks the lock. Gaz opens it and Soap shifts and gets in, as soon as he can fit through the door.

“Kid you here?” He yells. Nothing. Gaz comes up behind him.

“I want to make a lassie joke so hard right now.” Gaz admits, while Soap picks up your scent and hurries off up and down the halls, trying to figure out where you are. He starts scratching at a maintenance door. Gaz knocks on it.

“Kid you in there?” He calls.

“Y-yes!” You call back.

“We’re gonna help you okay? Just hold tight.”

“Gaz move.” Soap says. Gaz just barely gets out of the way before Soap manages to smash it in. They find you curled up and clutching your stomach. Gaz flaps away the dust before stepping over the broken remains of the door. He gives you the bag ripping it open and you hands go in quickly. You ravenously eat away at the first thing you get, a still warm hashbrown. One bite and you stand up but Gaz keeps you sitting.

“Don’t choke, finish that first.” He orders. You do as he says a mutter through mouthfuls, “sorry.”

“So what exactly happened?” Soap asks.

“They pulled my ears and kept asking to see my tail… kept telling them I didn’t have one.” You mutter, finishing the hashbrown. “A few of them grabbed me and shoved me in here…kept calling me ‘bunny’ and ‘rabbit’. Said they would stuff me later.”

“No one’s stuffing anything except the assholes that did this and where it don’t shine.” Soap growls. In the dark it’s a little more intimidating with yellow glowing eyes. Gaz stretches a wing around you and gives you another piece of the order to munch on while he helps you out of the room. You go on about how they kept messing with you in various childish ways. The bullies had yanked your ears, played with your antlers and called you a bunny breeder. Gaz and Soap get you into the backseat and encourage you to keep eating.

“You got made fun of by the teachers pet?” Soap asked a little surprised.

“He said I was the new class pet.” You say. “Then he wouldn’t stop saying I had to eat carrots and wasn’t allowed to have any of the snacks I brought.”

“You ignore em?”

“Tried, but then he started telling me I shouldn’t be snacking and had to eat ruffage.”

“Wow…” Gaz says. “You could always threaten to gnaw on his pencils.”

“How’s the food?” Soap calls from the front.

“Good. I should stop though.”

“You almost finished?” Soap says checking on you in the rear view.

“Uh…halfway?” You relay after checking the bags contents.

“Keep eating.” Soap says.

Gaz gives Soap a look.

“One meal won’t kill her.” Soap says quietly.

“Thank you for getting me.” You say.

“Hunter would have my head.”

Sadly your bonding time doesn’t go unnoticed and Price calls you all into the office. Your handler is unhappy you didn’t try contacting him first, and you stay quiet. Price chews out Soap and Gaz for B&E and property damage, until they explain what had happened to you. He’s a bit more lenient but not by much.

You, Soap and Gaz have definitely bonded more and at this point you’ve sort of become the team’s pup. Soap and Gaz teach you to fight hand to hand, and they’re careful with you at first. You’re younger and smaller but you don’t hold back against them. They show you some maneuvers and Gaz uses his hardened feathers for knife training, going slow and giving you the chance to bat away his strikes. Off time is spent with them, getting a chance to go climbing or hanging out in the rec room. Soap teaches you how to play football, and Rudy and Alejandro join in as well. Soap and Alejandro definitely start showing off their speed and strength to the point you and Rudy find it safer to watch from the sidelines with Gaz. One wrong kick makes all your caution warranted, as you have to shove Rudy over and the ball takes off part of your antler and is pierced in the process. Hunter gave Soap a very harsh talking to afterwards, and made sure you were okay.

Your handler over time becomes less and less involved with you but maintains your eating routine. He keeps your training high giving you exercises daily, that keep you busy from dusk til dawn. It’s exhausting and Hunter does express some concern to your handler who eventually gives in and increases your food intake some more.

Soap and Gaz have basically taken over your sparring sessions, keeping you trained and ready for anything. You have found a couple weaknesses when you go one on one. If Soap shifts to werewolf, you can get him with belly rubs.

Rudy had started showing you some tracking skills, and even introduced you to his dog spirits. Both spirits are weary of you at first with the red and black growling while the other stayed close to its vessel protectively. After calming them, Alejandro shifts to a panther or jaguar based on the terrain and becomes the target to track. At first he makes it easy but since you don’t hold back on Soap and Gaz he doesn’t hold back on you. You and Rudy both have to try and find him before he finds you, which is a bit of a 50-50. Your own skills as a hybrid are shown to be useful in more wild and natural terrain. In fact you become the one to be the target and the two of them actually find some difficulty locating you.

“She couldn’t have gotten that far yet…” Rudy is scratching his head, genuinely dumbfounded. Alejandro shifts back next to him looking at his partner.

“Fast learner.” He comments, impressed by your skills.

“Si.” Rudy sighs before jerking forward, hit in the back from behind. “Agh!”

Alejandro checks Rudy’s jacket and finds a stain from a paintball. They both look up and towards where the shot had come from. There they see you behind a tree covered in dirt and mud, trying to hold back the grin on your face. The two men look at you surprised, and even Alejandro is stunned that he couldn’t detect you, while the white and blue cadejo trots over and barks at you, tugging at your clothes with his teeth. The two men look at each other baffled how you got 15 feet away from them without either noticing. Alejandro waves you over to them, while the cadejo playfully tugs at your jacket.

“Fall in corporal, back to base.” He calls over and you get up from your hiding spot. Your legs were dirty and…wet? The ground was damp but you were almost soaked.

“You take a bath Mija?” Alejandro asks crossing his arms.

“No sir.” You answer, shaking your head.

“You’re wet though.” Rudolfo comments, noticing the state of your pants as well.

“Yes sir.” You reply. Alejandro gives a half grin.

“Why are you wet corporal?” He asks.

“The river sir.” You answer. They hadn’t told you about the river nearby, not to mention it was a few clicks further than they had expected you to reach. You take note of their expression and shift slightly in place. “Should I not have…?”

“Por el contrario, you did very well Mija.” Rudolfo says.

“Very good.” Alejandro comments. “You cold?” He asks. You shake your head. There was a chill but it didn’t bother you. They take you back to base.

Missions go fairly well though you are often knocked down. It can be hard when you’re up against many other hybrid creatures. Ghost comes to your aid before any fatal blows can be made, consuming enemies in his shadows when he wasn’t slipping out of them to slit enemy throats. The lieutenant didn’t agree with bringing someone as young as you on missions, and hated that he was playing babysitter half the time. Ghost can sense something off about you though. Maybe it’s your smiling, or your friendliness, of this odd presence that seems to surround you like an aura. Either way, you show yourself to be a fast learner and strong soldier. Your main focus is to incapacitate enemies, even though you’ve been taught where vitals are and how to use a gun and a knife quickly.

“Would make life easier to kill… that’s what soldiers do.” He comments. You look out at the men he’s fed on. You’re quiet thinking for a moment before responding.

“If I killed all of them though…you wouldn’t get to eat as much.” You say with a cheeky smile. His expression doesn’t change.

“Don’t worry too much. Focus on your safety first.”

“Yes sir.” You say losing the smile. He’s not wrong. After that you ask Ghost for help with laying killing strikes. Not in the field but in training. He agrees mainly because you’ve shown promise and a willingness to improve yourself. Knife training with him is rough usually leading to you getting winded and on your back.

The hands on learning is honestly better than anything else though and your exercise routines just become a warm up. You look forward to everything and take everything seriously, asking questions and showing interest in what is presented to you. Weapons training is a bit daunting, as the guns are a bit heavy, but you find your skills work good with unconventional weapons. A slingshot proves strong with you, and even crossbows. Price helps you with improving your poor aim and there are times where you will spend almost an entire night just trying to hit the targets set in front of you.

Your handler is an afterthought except when you get invited to eat with them. He’s right there ready to tell you you can’t eat with them and your food is in your room. You excuse yourself and eat alone again. However on the nights he’s away you do take the opportunity to sit with them, and just bring your food out of your room. The amount while bigger is still small for a soldier, even for a teenager. Most of them assume it’s an insecurity for you so they don’t pressure you to eat more, or comment on it. Soap offers some of his snacks still.

Hunter is instructed when the handler goes on leave to give you meals he has premade for you. They have half a mind to toss them and get you to eat with everyone else, however much you wanted, but they leave the opaque container in your room as instructed.

You don’t eat any of it though. You recognize the smell and are both disturbed and distraught. No. Not that. Memories come flooding back, ones you wanted to stay buried. It takes everything not to break down, and your stomach is churning and begging for sustenance.

Do you tell someone? Would anyone believe you? Should you eat it? No of course not! But you’re so hungry and your mouth is watering. The scent makes your stomach do hard and painful flips, as if there was a grinding wheel whipping around in your belly. You try to look for snacks that you may have hung on to from Hunter but find nothing. The hunger starts to consume your thoughts faster than you’ve consumed anything. Your body starts to alter, you teeth grow sharper, your sense of smell grows stronger and you cling to yourself.

Hungry hungry hungry…starved…

You act fast and get your pillow case, tying it in your mouth, before getting your hoodie on and bolting. You’re fairly agile in your human form and your desire for sustenance drives you forward. Meat is everywhere but you don’t want it. You don’t want to want it. Any soldiers you pass, you keep your head down, and rush past them. You don’t even look up for your teammates calling for you, and instead bolt faster. You finally get outside and sprint for the woods with soldiers calling after you, and trying to stop you to figure out what’s going on. It isn’t long before your body shifts and contorts and you smell meat nearby.

Eat…eat…

Your sudden leave doesn’t go unnoticed. At first, your team saw you and thought you had to hurry somewhere or didn’t see them. Then Alejandro and Soap passed your door while talking.

“Hunter really told you no more football?” Alejandro asks.

“Won’t stop me from playan, but they did warn mae ‘bou-“ Soap and Alejandro both freeze in place smelling the food in your room, the door shut. What the fuck? They look at each other disturbed and in shock. Soap opens the door and his eyes widen in shock seeing what was inside the container.

“Steamin bloody Jesus.” He says while covering his nose and mouth with an arm. Flies buzzed around the human organs you were served in the container.

“The hell kind of diet is this, Mija?” Alejandro says under his breath. Soap puts the lid back on and takes it to Hunter. No way they would do this, but they likely knew who did.

“OI! Hunter!” Soap yells.

“Soap! Gods, please knock next ti-“

“The bloody hell is this!?” He demands holding up the container. Hunter is confused.

“The corporal’s meal? Why do you ha-“

Without wasting anymore time he sets it down and opens the lid enough for them to see. Hunter stands up from their desk quickly, and in shock.

“Soap the fuck is wrong wi-“ Hunter starts.

“The fuck kind of meal is this!” Alejandro barks.

“What?!” Hunter is just as confused.

“This is the corporal’s meal.” Alejandro clarifies.

Hunter is just as disturbed as they are and goes into the storage where the rest of your meals were being kept for the time of his leave. They found more organs and human remains. Hunter wasn’t sure whether to be pissed, disgusted or distraught.

“What the bloody… I’m taking this to Price immediately this is beyond fucked. Where’s the corporal right now?” Hunter demands to know. Soap recalls seeing you running down the hall.

“She’s run off.” Soap concludes. Hunter takes a moment to breath and calm themselves, somewhat relieved.

“She could be anywhere by now.” Alejandro adds recalling your tracking lessons.

Hunter heads for the door and the two hybrids follow as they go to the captain’s office. He looks up from some papers before standing, seeing the door open.

“The corporal is MIA.” Hunter states. Price is confused until they explain what was in the food. Price is angry, ready to roast the retainer upon his return but you are more important along with any bystanders. A search is put out and human soldiers are instructed to stay on base while Task Force 141 along with Rudy and Alejandro track you down. Price knew there was too much of a risk for regular humans to be close to you in this state.

The cadejos catch your scent and lead the search with Rudy keeping a watchful eye for any movement. Alejandro and Soap follow the scent and cadejos with Hunter riding Soap’s back to assist them. Gaz had taken to the sky trying to find you from above and cover more ground. The scent is how they follow you but they know you’re in the area by the sounds of screeches and unearthly clicking. Price hasn’t heard noises like that in a very long time. Ghost advises caution to everyone while he moves through the shadows and senses death all around them. He soon finds it as well.

At first a couple of bisected birds and bitten voles were traces. The deeper they went the bigger the animals. Soon it was small boars that had their meat stripped. There were a few large birds that had managed to escape but were bleeding. A few foxes were limping and cowering in their dens. When the team finally found you they kept their distance with Ghost being the closest to you, discovering why he had felt uneasy around you.

You were gorging yourself on the carcass of a large elk, and stuffing handfuls of blood and raw meat into your mouth savouring every bite. Dark crimson caked your mouth and hands as you continued eating, getting into your hair every time you decided to literally stuff your face. Your boney limbs and sharp fingers clawed pieces off and your jagged sharp teeth tore into thicker, tougher parts. Gaz lands in one of the tall trees while Alejandro circles around slowly and quietly planning to flank you if you tried to bolt, his oanthef form slinking around in the underbrush keeping distant and cautious. Soap proceeds closer, slowly. He has Hunter on his back and at the moment was a muscled riot shield for them. You continued feeding ignoring them all, when Soap noticed the screeching had stopped and heard your muffled whimpers and sobs mixed in with the sounds of your eating.

He moves closer and closer, letting Hunter walk next to him.

You stop eating to wipe your mouth fruitlessly. That’s when you notice the large wolf standing before you, staring at you with eyes that seemed to glow in the dark. In the moonlight he could see your tears, lightly cutting through the blood and grime on your face. Your eyes were pure white, and almost void of life. Hunter came up next to him, and you start to scramble back, worried you might go for them.

“Hey hey, no it’s okay. You’re okay…” they reach into their med bag and took out a chocolate bar, tearing off the wrapper for you and offering it. It was like an animal trainer trying to get their charge to trust them. You slowly crawl over, eyes blank and white, but docile.

“Let’s make it a bit smaller.” They mutter. Hunger breaks a piece and you back away again, crawling on all fours. Hunter leans in a bit, offering the smaller piece to you. You take it gingerly and bite down on the candy. When the human medic offers the rest, you dig into it, eating it like nothing had gone wrong. Like you hadn’t run off, shifted and started gorging on the elk carcass right next to you. The area was quiet while your team watched as you continued eating. The snack was so good, so much better than the carcass.

It had happened again. You lost control again. You were a monster and you killed so many innocent animals. Tears continued to fall as the regret set in. When you smell human meat and you’re hungry, it can set you off, making your only thoughts to be “eat”. Animals weren’t as effective hence the number you had taken out. Human food, like the candy, was a middle ground. It would take some time to bring you back to your human state, and taking less to do so.

When you finally spoke, all you could croak out was a small and raspy, “sorry”.

Hunter offers you some more food, proper food, and you eat it slowly, trying not to make yourself sick. First it was the chocolate bar, and then some crackers, an apple, some water, a few carrots. Your beastly features begin to dull, and you feel yourself growing tired. Hunter moves closer with every bite and holds you close while you cry into them, and continue eating the food they give you. Soap curls himself around you preventing escape and trying to comfort you and protect Hunter. Neither of them worries about the blood, they had worse before. Soon you tucker yourself out and Hunter picks you up, and gets back on Soaps back.

“Price, target found and incapacitated. Returning to base.” Ghost said over comms.

“Copy Lt.” Price responded through a long sigh of smoke.

When you woke up you had food next to you on the bed, and Soap asleep in a chair. He wakes up to see you eating the food left for you, and smiles.

“Mornin’ Corporal.” He says.

“I’m sorry.” You say.

“Don’t. You didna do anythin wrong.” He said. He ruffles your hair which you realize had been cut off rather awkwardly. Apparently the blood was too thick to wash, and cutting it was the safer option. You didn’t mind.

For the rest of your handlers leave, your eating becomes top priority. If you try to skip meals, you’re hauled to the mess hall, or get a protein bar in your hand. You get firm reminders that your actions that night are not your fault. Hunter is ensuring you get your meals at regular times, and that you’re staying healthy in your eating habits. They’ve also taken to checking your weight, and body, which regains some pounds. Meanwhile paperwork is being shifted around and sorted and handed and signed making a report about what happened and the illegal obtainment of human organs and their distribution. Laswell is more than pissed and ensures your handler is kept off base for longer than he had intended to be.

A couple months go by of you recovering and getting into a healthier routine. You mention to your team that your form is much different and (you later learn) the one they had seen happens when you get hungry and are unable to eat. With this comes the chance to show off your monsterous form, which leaves them with surprised looks and a bit of shock. Your human form grows and your head is replaced by a deer skull, while your limbs shed skin and are replaced with natural wood, and your rib cage and a few other pieces are beared for them to see. Like Soap your clothes do get torn up, but you prepared with a blanket nearby.

You look down at them, and step back a little while they stare. Price smiles seeing what you are meant to look like, the full spirit creature. Price approaches you first and you go lower for him to meet your eyes. A hand is place on your skull and tilt your head.

“Welcome to the 141.” He says smiling. Soap steps up and shifts to his wolf form. You get down on all fours for him and he gives a soft headbutt against your shoulder which you return.

“Stuck with us now Corporal.” He barks.

Soap helps you feel more comfortable with your form, and helps you learn to move in it as well, alongside Alejandro. You find that while you’re bipedal, running on all fours does have some speed to it. You’re even more of a natural climber, able to launch yourself off large tree trunks and latch on to the next one, making any large enough forest a parkour playground. The cadejos are weary still but Rudolfo continues working with you on tracking. Alejandro is often busy having to assist the captain with paperwork. Gaz starts helping you instead, making your hiding even more fun, since he has the best sight out of everyone. Now you’re the target even more for them to find, which they assume won’t be hard with your immense size but your terrain becomes a part of you, and you it letting you hide almost in plain sight.

Ghost assists you in ways you weren’t expecting, as he helps you feel more comfortable with death. Now your sparring and take down sessions often come with a small talk. Taking a life isn’t easy, and given your story, he wants you to know you’re defending yourself and others. It’s not uncommon for you to get a bit carried away on missions now, as you’re able to charge with Soap into a fray. Your larger size makes it easy for you to forget your surroundings. It leads to more casualties than knock outs. Price even tells you what he knows about wendigos and works on getting as much information from you about the handler as he can. Price lets you use him as a target now for shooting range, given how much better your aim has gotten.

Your team becomes your family as older siblings, uncles and sometimes even dads. They pass on everything they can to you. At this point they’ve come to see you as the pup in their pack, the one they raise into a fighter and protector for the future.

Visual reference for wendigo form

[vancemedicibutwhimsical]

Hiii I saw your ocs and I LOVED THEM SO FREAKINMUCH like HIPPIES??!! that's so damn COOL and how you made em in The sims and the drawings def made me crush so hard my tummy started to hurt. so only if you're in the mood for it (I mean it) would you write some interaction between your ocs and mine (〃ﾟ3ﾟ〃)?

OHHHH MY GOODNESS JUST. First off the tummy hurts is the best compliment ive ever recieved also #same im so inlove with them its not even funny AND THANK YOU SERIOUSLY RAHHHHHHHHHH OMGOGMGOMG YOUR CHARACTERS ARE SO COOL TOODUDE

SECOND OFF I AM SO EXCITED TO DIVE INTO THIS SO LETS GO 😈😈🥀

KEVIN

w/ Rodney -

w/ Rodney - Rodney would have probably grown up around Kevin, considering he was frequently in town, around the greasers, and eventually became apart of their group. Kevin is two years younger than him, and Rodney is a middle child; so I think this would give them a slight younger/older brother dynamic! :D Rodney would also LOVE the fact that Kev is interested in motorcycles of all things, because Rodney has always worked on motorcycles over regular bikes + had a heavy interest his whole life (hence the nickname ‘Hotrod’).

I could see them being good shoulders to lean on for eachother— especially in the sense of grief or anything that comes with it; Rodney having lost both his parents. Overall I think they’d make really great friends and would have a ‘found family’ type of vibe to their relationship ^_^

w/ Rylie (feat Simon mention) -

Rylie would find Kevin absolutely adorable tbh, probably one of the many boys on campus that she would playfully flirt with to get her way or get a reaction out of him for funsies. I think just like with his buddy Simon, she has a sort of cuteness aggression toward them like they’re some kind of kitten. + she WILL pull puppy eyes on the two of them to get her homework done for free/get a few stolen cigarettes from the greasers.

w/ Nikolai -

Nikolai would find all of the greasers interesting, honestly, the only thing that really makes him a prep is his family name; he doesn’t behave like any of the other preps. This includes Kevin, who I think would honestly be one of the easiest greasers for Nik to interact with casually, considering Simon is friends with him. Nik is like .. this guy isn’t going to IMMEDIATELY kick me in my balls maybe I can ask him for a pencil

DRAVEN

w/ Arlo -

Since your comment made me EXPLODE into a thousand pieces with excitement, let me go on about this rq

Arlo thinks Draven is very handsome. He probably saw him in Draven’s natural habitat, around Blue Skies or New Coventry while Dottie bought weed off of someone; something like that. Arlo wouldn’t be able to remember what was going on when he first saw him anyways, because he’d be instantly crushing.

Arlo is quite the loverboy— hence his polycule lol— but I think his crush on Draven would be extra special considering Arlo has never met a townie he thought of kissing LMFAOOO he would be so intrigued and even more obsessed when he realizes the ‘bad boy’ thing is truly just a look for Draven; and that he’s actually a huge sweetie. The kicker would definitely be if Draven is willing to haul Arlo around a bit on occasion when he doesn't feel like using crutches ;3

I have a doodle in mind for this.. Dottie would definitely be dealing with Arlo zoning out in class thinking of Draven and shes like “ouuhh you like a boy, don’t youuu??”/pos shes so excited to wingman him LMFAOOO

I think his fav thing/first thing he noticed about Draven would be his eyes, and he would love his hair. Besides that, his style would be a big attractor for Arlo; he likes himself a boy that ‘seems’ like trouble, even if he’s not. 10/10 they should kiss

w/ Rodney (feat his older brother mention)

I think Draven and Rodney would get along despite not being from the same clique because, like with Kevin, Rodney would have probably grown up around Draven a bit. Now, i haven’t posted his family yet,, but Rodney’s older brother, Sani, seems like he would also really vibe with D. He’s a tattoo artist, 25 yrs old, and if Draven has gotten any tattoos or piercings before; Sani may have done one or two of em!

w/ Dottie

Right up there with Arlo, Dottie would also think Draven is bonkers cute. She’s far more upfront than Arlo, and they usually make a move on people before he does, but I think they’d actually hold out on saying anything too flirty to Draven for a while because she wants Arlo to make his first move ever/hj (She had to make the first move on him for them to start dating,, HAHA)

She would overall really enjoy bumping into Draven or any time Arlo has him over, probably yapping his face off about some hippie bullshit or squeezing on his muscles because she’s an absolute idiot.

SIMON

w/ Nikolai

Nik is older than Simon, but funnily enough, I think Nik would really want to have his company among the preps. He likes all of his friends, but his family’s name isn’t as pristine as some of the others (his grandpa was a dick and it sort of ruined their reputation for two more generations) so they can treat him like the runt of their group on occasion. That being said, Nik would find some kind of comfort in Simon as they’re both unconventionally rich teens; apart of something they didn’t ask to be included in but here they are,, so might as well try to be friends? For some reason I also feel like Simon would find Nik’s russian accent funny LMAO

w/ Rylie

Like I mentioned in Kevin’s bit, Rylie thinks the two of them are absolutely squishable. Specifically with Simon, however, I think Rylie plays her tricks to try and, via Simon, convince the rich kids to let her throw a party at one of their places (fellow rich girl stranded in smalltown missing her mansion parties 💔💔)

w/ Skylar

Weirdly enough, I can just see these two being a fun party duo if Simon ever finds himself at one. Like the type of duo you see at a frat house; Skylar is probably carrying Simon on his shoulders and making him do karaoke with him tbh 🥀🥀 SORRY SIMON

I HOPE YOU LIKE ALL THESE IM ACTUALLY GEEKING OIT RN … I LOVE YOUR OCS SO MUCH

[fixfoxnox]

I FINALLY GOT MY GRUBBY LITTLE HANDS ON SOAP'S JOURNAL!!!

Oh boy oh boy oh boy, guys there is so much in this bad boy that NO ONE has mentioned!! The SoapRoach content in here is off the walls!! Why is all I ever see the like 2 moments Soap mentioned Ghost??? There so much Roach and Price and Gaz content here, so here are some random bits from Soap's journal:

MW:

Embarrassed that Price helped him up and caught him from the plane during Crew Expendable mission

Mentions needing to buy Price "a bottle" as a gift afterward

Upset he missed the first shot on the helicopter during Hunted, says it was "inexcusable, especially considering SAM'S shoot themselves"

Put into the infirmary by a dog bite, too embarrassed to tell Gaz or Price (only Nikolai knows)

Call's Price's mustache both a "dick-tickler" and "Price's precious whiskers"

Blames himself for Gaz, Griggs, and Price's deaths (he believes Price died on the high way) and tries to come up with other ways they could have moved through that would have let the men live

Get's stuck/angry over the image of Zhakaev's blood mixing with Gaz's on the bridge

Nik brought women to see him while he was recovering in Russia

Begins mentioning his struggles with pain killers like morphine and alcohol

He becomes almost obsessive with cleaning and caring for Price's pistol as a way to distract himself from becoming addicted

Tries horse racing and betting to cope, but eventually turns to smoking

MW2:

Soap is the one who sought out the formation of TF141, Shepherd merely backed the idea

Describes Roach as "Raw, skilled, loyal to a fault" (implied he and Ghost are absolutes for the team)

On the other end, Ghost gets a simple "what the hell kind of name is Ghost" and no other information akdndjdhjdhd

Roach has the highest score on the rifle test, a whole 18 points over Ghost

Ghost beats Roach on PFT, but only by 3 points

"Have been looking forward to breaking Roach in" during Kazakhstan

"Feel even more comfortable with him than Price must have with me" omg

Roach has a journal that Soap spots him writing in, he wonders what he's writing

Adds to the end wondering if Roach is "wondering what villa claras taste like" which is clearly a reference to Soap's own admiration of Price and wondering if Roach feels the same as that, but boy oh boy Soap was that a gay way to put it ajdjfjdbhd

Makarov weighs 184 pounds and is 5'11 I'm wheezing what a little wet rat of a man I love him

Mentions the death of Meat, so far one of the only deaths he hasn't blamed himself for

Mentions needing to trust Roach and his instinct more, essentially tells himself to cool it with the constant reminders and stuff

Plans to put Roach on circuits and crossfit because he wasn't fast enough lmao

Says he would have crashed the plane before leaving Roach on the rooftops in Brazil 🥺

Blames himself for Roach almost not making the jump to the plane

Says that Ghost "knows something about interrogation"

Mentions that the team didn't bat an eye to him torturing Rojas for information, Soap draws a comparison between himself torturing Rojas to Price torturing Al Asad.

He specifically has Roach handle the C4 after seeing how well he did with it during Kazakhstan

"Ghost hacked at a snails pace" LMAO REAL

"Funny thing watching Roach get taken down by Price" listen sir, give your boyfriend a break please

Very excited and cathartic for him to give Price his pistol back

Says that Price returning and taking over command was the "best demotion imaginable" 🥺

Was just happy following Price and Roach because he "got to listen to the two of them working together like we once did"

Says it was nice to see Price taking Roach under his wing

"For all that coaching, Roach did a shit job with the bodies" listen here sir...thats not a mechanic in the game give the boy a break akdndjjdhd

Knew that Price was up to some bullshit as soon as his comms went off

Kill shepherd: "For Ghost. Roach" 😭 throwing myself from a cliff

"Loyalty doesn't operate on a sliding scale. It's a safety. On or off."

MW3:

Nikolai and Yuri go way back, potentially from Nik's time as an ultranationalist?

Nik rescuing Soap again and Soap saying he owes him a pallet of Imperia for it akdjjdjd

"Knife would healing too slowly for tastes" baby....

Nikolai providing him with antibiotics and pain medication 😬 Soap describes them as "providing inspiration" which does not sound good

Mentions how the ultranationalists have become more violent then they were under Zhakaev

Soap lost friends during the terrorist attack in London

Final thoughts:

Omg my husband

He struggles a lot a lot with guilt from very early on

Put a shit ton of pressure on himself and blames himself for anything that goes wrong. Especially blames himself for the deaths of other characters.

Seems to have had a struggle/struggles with coping with that guilt. It appears to have manifested a bit in struggles with pain killers and alcohol that he manages through almost compulsively taking care of Price's pistol.

Attempts to cope through horse racing (and gambling?) But what ends up working is smoking.

Definitely had a lot of care for his team, particularly Roach seemed to get a lot of his attention.

Much closer to Nikolai then I think people realize. Nik saves his life numerous times and the two work together even with Price not around. Definitely helps to fill in some gaps on why Nik sticks around at the end of mw2

Looks up to Price so very much. Like stars in his eyes this man can do no wrong type of thing.

[lemonkeiku]

Bambi : Old Comrades

Call of Duty Original Character Fic

Summary : During 'Old Comrades' mission, Price introduced Kyle a new figure; another SAS operator who had an extreme methode of interogating a subject.

Pairing: None. This story won't lead to any romance build up. Maybe platonic for later.

Words count: 4,216

Warnings: alternate universe, civilian hostages, violent description, possibly bad English especially the grammar (sorry, English is not my first language), lack of British written accent, inaccurate military term (I tried my best to do research).

Author's nore: This is the second part of my first series of How 141 met my OC; Bambi with Gaz. This part took a scene from Modern Warfare 2019.

31 OCTOBER 2019 1700 St. Petersburg, Russia.

Kyle had been so prepared for this day. From the moment he walked into the room, he knew it was time to take The Butcher down for what he'd done at the Embassy. In fact, he couldn't wait to get down there and take The Butcher out, if only Price wouldn't hold him back and make him stick to the plan. Although this mission was technically unsanctioned, no one wanted to draw too much attention to themselves. Kyle himself didn't want to start an unwanted war.

The plan was to ambush The Butcher and bring him in for questioning. They needed to know where the gas was. They also needed to know where Hadir was and what his plan was. After Hadir’s betrayal, it was only a matter of time before he did whatever he had planned.

On that small flat, they’ve been watching over The Butcher since his arrival. Who knows what happened inside the building, but clearly, they knew The Butcher was in there. As Kyle saw the situation, there were not that many men guarding outside. Apparently The Butcher didn’t bring big numbers of men, so it was a good start.

“Let’s gear up, get evil– clock’s tickin’.”

Three of them–including Nikolai–started to move to a different room. All their gears were there and Nikolai made sure everything would be untraceable. Considering they had to stay low, they got enough supplies to catch The Butcher. Kyle wouldn’t complain. It was an easy job, he was sure he wouldn't need any additional ammo.

“Rally at the warehouse,” Nikolai informed. As far as Kyle knew, that was where they would bring The Butcher for questioning.

“Rog’. Bring the package.” Price’s response made Kyle question his head. He didn’t know anything about any package. But for now, he thought it would be something to make The Butcher talk. “And don’t forget to pick up that Young Lady,” Price added.

Nikolai nodded his head. “On my way, Captain.”

“Young Lady?” Kyle was confused–obviously. There was a package that he didn’t know about and now there was someone called ‘Young Lady’. He couldn’t help himself to wonder if he really knew about the whole plan. “Another old comrade of yours, sir?” He guessed as they made their way to leave the flat.

“Not really. Just someone who can make our plan run easier,” Price answered. “I know you want another shot at The Butcher.”

Both Kyle and Price went down the stairs as they stopped right on the exit door. They needed to check the situation again before stepping out of the building. The building they were in was directly across the target location and there were four men guarding outside. All of them were armed–definitely.

“We sweep the guards up so they can’t alert the others, then move in on the rear door,” Price briefed. “Guns on my signal, not before.”

“Rog’.”

Kyle was so ready behind Price as they managed to leave the building, stepping their foot outside where the four men were aware of their presence. He tried to act as calm as he could, especially after he saw how calm Price was. They proceeded to approach the four men. It was obvious they would start to act aggressively towards the two.

Price was the one who stepped closer as one of those men approached him. Price didn’t try to reach his gun–yet, even though the man in front of him swung his gun in the air. Not gonna lie, Kyle didn’t feel at ease seeing how the man was getting more aggressive on each step.

“Easy. Easy, mate, we’ve got permits, alright?” Price tried to convince and of course it wasn’t convincing enough.

The man was pointing his gun now at Price. “You’re not welcome here! Go away!”

“Show him, Kyle–Now..!”

Kyle drew his gun immediately. He took out two guards in a split second, as fast as he could when Price shot two more before anyone could open fire. They didn't waste any time at all. They had to find out the whereabouts of Hadir and the gas as soon as they could.

They moved quickly to the door of a building where The Butcher was. The door led them down into a basement level. Kyle could hear the distant voice of a man speaking. It must be The Butcher.

For the time being, it would be best for them to have a look at the situation they were about to face. Kyle took the smallest step he could so that no one would be alarmed. Price was right behind him, making sure that there was no extra treat that was following them.

To the room, where The Butcher’s voice came from, Kyle could see him from between the racks. It seemed like he conducted a meeting with three AQ members. Whatever it was, Kyle won’t let it last longer.

“There he is…” Price whispered behind him. As a sign, he patted Kyle on the shoulder.

Kyle shot two of the men around The Butcher, while Price took out another man. They were able to take out the guards, but The Butcher was quick to react and took off running.

“Butcher is running! Get after him!”

Kyle didn't hold back. He ran. He ran as soon as he saw The Butcher running. Even when some AQ soldiers tried to stop him, he wasn't going to let him get away this time. He tried to escape through the bar and went to the other side of the building. The Butcher was even sneaky enough to run out into the main street, where many civilians ran in panic at his appearance. Not only that, but he didn't hesitate to shoot, regardless of whether the civilians were hit or not.

Kyle and Price ran after the man through several buildings. Many AQ soldiers appeared out of nowhere, ambushing them and trying to stop them as The Butcher continued to try to escape. For a second of thought, Kyle was afraid that he might lose The Butcher. The man didn’t stop and it felt like they couldn’t stop him with dozens of AQ soldiers kept coming and shooting at them. Not to mention the fact that they have to run all over the city, in and out of buildings, to catch up with the Butcher before they lose him.

They left the café and returned to the main road. There they saw the Butcher still trying to escape. But to their surprise, a black van hit The Butcher hard at high speed, knocking him to the ground. Turned out the driver of the van was Nikolai. He grabbed The Butcher and dragged him into the van with Kyle’s help.

“Who are you? So my men can send your heads home to your families…” The Butcher still could talk apparently, even after Nikolai hit him so hard.

“Fuck off, shit-pouch,” Kyle cursed.

“How’s the preparation?” Price asked as he was jumping onto the passenger seat.

“Everything’s ready, Captain,” Nikolai answered. The van started to move, driving them away before the police arrived.

Price added, “And the Young Lady ?”

The Young Lady was mentioned again and, yet, Kyle still didn’t know who she was or what was her role on this mission. Kyle couldn't guess whether she was from the SAS, CIA or one of the old comrades Price had mentioned earlier.

“She’s already there.”

Kyle definitely had so many questions but this wasn’t the right time to ask. For now, he just needed to follow his Captain and see what’s coming.

—

They’re van arrived at a warehouse in the suburbs. The place was quite big but the only men they could see were people involved in the mission. Kyle thought that was quite reasonable. It’d be a problem if there were civilians there.

As they entered a building, Kyle’s eyes immediately locked on a young woman standing near another truck that parked there. He never saw her before�� maybe, he wasn’t sure. She didn't look familiar. She had wavy black hair with eyes as blue as the ocean–literally. It was quite noticeable actually.  And another thing that really stood out was her dark purple lipstick she was using.

She must be the Young Lady that they had been talking about. It was the only reason why she was there.

“Having a run around, eh?” She grinned, most likely to Price.

As some men brought The Butcher inside the warehouse, Price seemed to be walking directly to the young woman. Kyle even saw them shaking hands that indicated that they already knew each other.

“Diggory,” he greeted . “Thanks for coming.”

“Gerald did a great job at convincing me. You’re lucky I managed to slip between my schedule,” she responded, making Price chuckled.

“How’s your wound?” he asked.

“Try to be nice, yeah, Captain?”

“You got me.”

“I've been back on duty since 2 months ago.” She crossed her arms. “Clearly you've missed the news.”

The two of them kept talking for a while like they were trying to catch up with each other. That made Kyle wonder if both of them really knew each other for some time. And after a little observation–he could be wrong, but Kyle felt that the young woman might be younger than him. She had a warm expression on her face for the entire time. She also sounded easy going. Most of the time she talked very casually but tried to stay respectful toward Price. 

“Garrick.” Price looked at him. “This is Corporal Diggory. SAS. She’ll help us get what we need from The Butcher.”

“It’s Thea.” She smiled at him. “But Diggory’s fine.”

“Glad you’re able to join us.” The two of them shaked hands.

“Just giving the Captain a little favor,” she replied.

“Let’s not waste any more time, shall we? Diggory, stand by for the packages. I’ll call you when you’re needed.”

“Rog’ that.”

—

The Butcher definitely won’t talk. It has been more than an hour since they tried to get intel from him but he gave them nothing. Yegor also seemed to be getting tired of beating him relentlessly from earlier. He was really hard to break.

Kyle stood there, watching the entire session. Actually, he was already furious that he couldn't do anything about it. If not for the information they needed, Kyle wanted to kill that man right now. He didn't stop chattering, trying to provoke them all.

“You can’t hurt me, you weak piece of shit!”

Price seemed unbothered.

“But you, Captain. Oh, you can do better than that… You think I forgot your face, SAS?” He was chattering again. “Or you, Sergeant?”

Kyle took the bait.

“You motherfucker–” His anger controlled him eventually. His anger was almost overwhelming and he was about to punch that man if only Price didn’t stop it. 

“Hey! Get your head in the game, Sergeant,” Price warned him.

“We need to break this bastard, Captain…”

“We are about to…” he assured. “You go to Nikolai, you get the package, you come back here. Alright? And bring Diggory with you.”

Kyle didn’t talk much. He didn’t say anything, actually. He immediately turned himself back and walked out through the door.

He could see Thea was still there, standing and waiting as another van reverse pulled into the warehouse. The van stopped with not only Kyle and Thea, but also Nikolai walked closer to the back door of the van.

That was another thing Kyle didn’t know anything about; the packages. Deep down there, Kyle felt already annoyed with the sudden addition of Thea to the mission. But his question about her was already being answered–even it was not a clear answer. Now, he still had a lot of questions about the mysterious packages.

What was the package? And how were they going to use it against The Butcher? Was it really gonna work?

He felt like they kept him in the dark about this one.

“Sergeant Garrick. Corporal Diggory,” Nikolai said. “Package is in the back.”

“What is it?” Kyle questioned.

“Oh, you're gonna love it.” Kyle saw Thea grinning at the van’s door, making him curious if whatever is in there will make The Butcher talk.

Nikolai also sounded enthusiastic, “Truth serum.”

Truth serum? Kyle was unsure whether Nikolai meant it literally or metaphorically. He knew truth serum wasn’t a real thing. At least, it must be something that could make The Butcher’ spill the truth.

He approached the door as his hand grabbed both of the door’s handle and opened it widely. The first thing that came through his mind when he saw what was in the van was pure confusion.

In that van, there was a woman and a little boy–probably her son, hugging each other in fear. The mother started begging him not to hurt her and her son right after he saw him open the door. She kept saying she knew nothing before Kyle even started to talk.

Kyle was really confused right now. His body froze, couldn't even move. His mind couldn’t even think.

What is it? Why are we kidnapping innocent people?

“Bargaining chips… for negotiation,” Nikolai explained. “Perhaps, the Butcher will have a change of heart.”

There were already many questions piling up in Kyle's mind and now it felt like he was getting more questions than answers. He looked at Thea as he asked if she knew about this too. Seeing how calm she was, he got his answer immediately.

He really wanted to ask about this, but he couldn't. All he could do right now was pull the two of them out from the van.

“Please don’t hurt my son– we’ll do what you say…” the poor woman begged.

“Then move out.” Thea’s tone was cold as she didn’t question her doing like Kyle did. Her eyes changed, her warm expression she showed before was also gone like she was a whole new person.

The poor woman responded with a scream, her son was terrified as they were guided to the warehouse door. She tried to calm her son down while walking through the door. And those scenery didn’t budge Thea at all who walked ahead of them . That was really concerning for Kyle.

“Keep begging like that when you are inside,” Thea told them. “It might help you there.”

“What you’re doing is unforgivable. We are innocent people…” the woman claimed.

This time, Thea smiled but she didn’t say anything. She took off something from her pocket; a pair of black gloves and wore them as they were about to arrive at the door. Another thing Kyle noticed was a gun on the back. She didn’t try to conceal it like she meant the mother and her son to see it.

They stopped right before the door. Then Price walked out from the door like he was welcoming them. He stood there for a while, even the mother started to beg again. But just like Thea, he didn’t react besides telling them to keep silent.

“Kyle, you don’t have to do this. Thea will take over from here,” Price stated. “You’re in or out?”

Thea turned at Kyle, almost like she questioned the same thing to him.

There shouldn't be any question about what Kyle wanted. He wanted to see the Butcher break, no matter what kind of method they were going to use.

“I’m in, sir… All in.”

“Good.” Price opened the door. “Hand them off to Yegor.”

Thea walked in right after Price. Kyle was still with the hostages as they entered the room. The Butcher immediately reached when he saw the woman and her son, recognised them as his family and demanded to let them go.

A lot of things happened in just a short period of time. As Kyle could see, Yegor took over the hostages, sat them on a chair next to the Butcher while still hugging each other and covered their heads with sacks. Thea pulled her gun out right in front of the Butcher, who started yelling, and his family.

Somehow, this was too much to see for Kyle. No wonder they didn’t want this on record. What they did here was almost illegal– it felt wrong.

“What did you do?! Your son is here! Your own child!” the woman demanded her husband.

“He’s got no problem hurting children… Isn’t that right, Sergeant?”

Kyle knew exactly what Price referred to. He remembered clearly how the Butcher killed an innocent child in the Embassy. How ironic, now he begged his son not to be harmed.

“None…” Kyle answered coldly.

“What have you done?! You promised you’d keep this away from us!” The woman kept pleading that left the Butcher speechless, enough to put his guard down.

“Captain,” Yegor interrupted. “I can’t do this.”

Even Yegor couldn’t handle this. Kyle won’t be surprised, neither Price.

“You’re excused,” Price let him walk out the room, leaving the three of them with the hostages. “She’ll take over from here.”

Yoger was already gone, even Price took a few steps back as he was letting Thea proceed the session. Kyle also stayed where he was, observed whatever was going to happen. At this angle, Kyle could only see her back. He didn’t know what expression she gave right now, let alone what she was thinking that could make her stand up straight there.

The woman kept begging for her life and her son. It was almost too hard to hear. Both of them were terrified and they had the right to feel so.

“Let’s make it quick, shall we?” She raised her gun to the head of the woman and her son without hesitation. “Which head will get you talking?”

The woman started screaming and her son began to cry. Thea’s voice alone was enough to make the atmosphere more intense. Whatever face she made, it managed to make the Butcher frightened.

“Don’t… don’t… don’t–Hey, hey, hey, hey!!”

“Please, please… We are not involved with any of this. I assure you…”

Thea was unmoved. She unpinned her gun’s safety just to make three of them more frightened. “I asked, which head?”

“Hey! Hey! Look at me! Stop! Stop! They have nothing to do with this!” The Butcher yelled, begging for Thea to stop pointing her gun to his family.

“THEN TALK!”

A shot from her gun exploded, aiming right a few centimeters away from his wife's head. The wife screamed even louder with her son that could stop crying in her arms. Kyle was shocked, but tried not to let any gasp out from his mouth. He never thought she would do it. She maybe didn’t aim her head, but what if she will? Is she going to go that extreme?

“Okay, okay! Stop! Please! Please, leave them alone, they have no information for you.”

Thea fixed her aim, now pointed her gun right to his son’s head and made sure the Butcher saw it. “I know. But you have. Now start talking or I’ll make sure to aim for your son's head next.”

“You heard her. Where’s the gas?” Price slipped back in.

But it seemed like the Butcher forgot about Thea’s threat, so he pushed off the Captain. “Fuck you!” he cursed.

Price was also getting impatient. He raised his chin at Thea as a signal and she immediately grabbed the son away from his mother, creating more panic among the parents who started begging even harder. The voices of screaming, begging and crying echoed through the room they were in.

“Hey, hey, hey! No, no, no! Leave him, leave him! No!” the Butcher kept begging.

“No, no, please! Leave him alone! No!” and his wife cried for his son.

But Thea showed him no mercy as the tip of her gun now pointed to his wife’s head while holding his son. “Last chance, where is the gas?” she demanded.

“Listen to me, listen to me! Karetka Theater–”

“Lying!” Price cut him off.

“No, I’m not! I swear to you. I’m not! The gas is there. I swear!” He didn’t sound like he’s lying for Kyle. With his family in danger, lying was probably the last thing he would do.

Kyle now decided to join the session. He couldn’t just watch there and not do anything. At least Thea already did the hardest part. Now they managed to break the Butcher, it was the right time to dig more information from him.

“Where’s Hadir?” Kyle questioned.

The Butcher now turned to him. “The ‘youngblood’? You– you’re too late to stop him. General Barkov will already be dead.”

Kyle didn’t exactly understand what he meant, but it was clear that Hadir went after Barkov. The only thing that remained the same was he wanted Barkov dead.

“Hadir– he’s going after Barkov,” Price concluded. “We’re done with him. You take a minute.”

Thea let the son back to his mother as Price walked away. Kyle stayed there for a moment when someone handed him a gun. It was Thea with the same gun she had been using.

“You look like someone with a lot of anger, Sergeant. Guess I’ll let you decide his fate,” she suggested when she handed over the gun to Kyle. “My job is done. I’ll see you outside.”

Kyle took the gun– yes he did, but somehow he decided to spare the Butcher’s life and let the Russians have him. Knowing his family was involved and in danger because of his actions was punishment enough for him. For the rest of his life he had to face his own family who were disappointed in him.

He walked outside, closed the door behind her before catching after Thea.

“Hey– Thea!” he called. “Was that really necessary?”

She turned around, stopped her steps to face him. She gave him a confused look, as she questioned his question. “Which one?”

“Threatening his family– threatening his wife and son. Do you even agree with this method?”

“But it did work, didn't it? So, I’d say it was necessary,” she smiled.

“Does it have to go that far? Threatening people who might not know anything?”

“We fight for what we think is right, Sergeant. So do what you think is necessary. Even if it means over-egging the pudding.”

His morals felt like crashing to each other. He completely agreed with her, but if it meant they had to hurt innocent people just because they were related to their target, it felt wrong.

She then sighed with both of her hands on her waist. “Look– if you’re wondering, was I really gonna shoot them, the answer is no. My job is just to give him a little push so he would talk by any means necessary, but– of course– I draw a line how far I'd go. So don’t worry– I’m not that mad,” she added– or more like clarified.

Strange, it made Kyle feel a little relieved.

“Happy?” she asked.

Kyle hated to admit it. “At least we got the location of the gas.”

He hated to admit that her method did work. They knew where the gas was. They even got to know what Hadir’s next plan was.

“Come on, Sergeant– we need to move.”

Price was already in front of a Russian police car that was parked there. Kyle heard that Nikolai said it was going to help them out of the city.

“Garrick– Get in the car. Cover us,” Price told him.

Kyle was about to get to the car but he saw Thea was staying with Nikolai.

“Is she not coming with us?” Kyle asked.

“Me? Oh, no, no,” she answered. “I need to get back before anyone notices I was gone. I have my own things to do after all.” She smiled again and this time, her warm expression was back like he first met her a couple hours ago.

It was a unique experience for Kyle to meet someone like Thea. She was young but she seemed to know things more than he did. She also handled the situation well and stuck to her objective.

And he thought Price would agree.

“Thank you for your assistance, Diggory. You did a great job. I owe you one,” Price praised her.

“Yeah, yeah… Glad I could help,” she replied before walking towards the car. “I’ll see you around, Sergeant. Pleasure to work with you.”

“You too, Corporal.” He opened the car’s door and hopped in, rolling down his side’s windows.

“Bambi.”

“Sorry?”

“Next time we meet, call me Bambi.” She smiled, putting both hands on her waist. “That goes for you too, Captain. Try to start calling me with that name next time.”

“You got your own callsign now?” Price stuck his head out of his seat window

“Yeah… I just got my own weird name and it'd better I tell you now rather than later.”

“Bambi, yeah? It suits you,” Price chuckled.

“Suits me my ass.”

“Diggory. Language.”

“Whatever. You better off now before I flip over this car.”

Kyle couldn’t help himself from laughing to their interaction. But joke aside, she was right, they had to go now. They shouldn’t waste any more time by now.

Price drove the car off as Kyle could see Thea waving at them– vanished from his eyes as they left the warehouse. 

[survivingpierce]

🍒

         nadias father & katerinas relationship with him

𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒 || @ladamedemartel || accepting

🍒how old were they when they lost their virginity? to whom? was it significant?

first of all, thank you for sending this in, i long intended to write a headcanon about this but somehow never managed to make it.

this is going to be long and detailed because this will also explain how katherine got pregnant with nadia and who nadias father is. i really have a lot of thoughts about this whole construct (which you'll see at the end of this headcanon).

trigger warnings for und.era.ge se.x and und.era.ge preg.nan.cy! (don't want this to show up in a tumblr search so please excuse the spelling)

the short answers to the questions are the following: katerina was 16 when she lost her virginity to her first crush andrei (she had no idea of the importance of virginity & the concepts of pregnancy due to a lack of sexual education). it was significant because it resulted in the pregnancy with nadia, which in turn resulted in katerina being forced to give away her baby before she was banished.

i'll put the rest under a read more because this headcanon is really long (but there's a tl;wr under the cut) and because of the mentioned tw above.

here's the tl;wr:

katerina (initially a traveler but her father forbade anything to do with traveler magic) met andrei, also a traveler, in 1488 when she was 15. he worked as a stable boy at a neighboring homestead. they became friends, he taught her a few things (especially regarding travelers) and katerina quickly developed a crush on him. he was the first boy she was ever in love with and he was also her first kiss. she often snuck away for him, and secretly met with him. katerina grew up sheltered and had no sexual education so she wasn't aware of the potential consequences. she had her first sexual experience with andrei in the late summer of 1489, when katerina was already 16. they made out and did heavy petting but didn't exactly have proper sex as katerina asked them to stop when he started to enter her. unfortunately, he orgasmed while he was still inside of her which resulted in katerina's pregnancy. andrei & his family left without a word two months later. katerina's baby was born in 1490. in hindsight, katerina as well as katherine deeply detests andrei, mainly because she didn't know better and got involved with him and because he is the reason she got banished & was forced to give up her baby (because nadia was born out of wedlock). she also hates him for breaking her heart and leaving without saying a word.

the long and detailed headcanon:

katerina's first lover was someone she considered a friend first. i never named him until now, but let's name him andrei. andreis family including himself were members of the travelers and in 1488, they settled near the petrovs place of residence.

in this context, it should be noted that travelers are a cursed sub-culture of witches who once were incredibly powerful. the curse prevents them from gathering as a tribe. traveler magic draws on each member's personal power, but due to the curse, the amount of power they can draw from themselves is extremely weak, which is the reason travelers are usually required to perform spells in groups when normal witches can perform alone. so naturally, while always being on the move, they also needed other travelers to practice their magic.

since nikolai petrov, katerina & her sister also belonged to a line of travelers, andreis family thought they could perhaps cooperate & help each other. nikolai petrov, however, resented the traveler's heritage and saw it as devil's work that he strictly forbade. apart from that, the petrovs were a wealthy and noble family that didn't want to engage with 'strays'.

but back to andrei. andrei was a handsome young man close to katerina's age and worked as a stable boy in the neighboring homestead which wasn't far away (a small forest and a field between the houses). katerina had a friend there and often came to visit. due to her preference for horses (and because she often took her own horse with her when she visited), andrei and katerina met at some point in the stable in early 1489, when katerina was 15. andrei had a friendly personality (and was - as already mentioned - handsome) and katerina quickly developed a crush on him – her first crush, ever, mind you. he was the first boy she really interacted with, especially after reaching the age where one might start to become interested in boys.

despite her crush, katerina considered them friends first. andrei knew a lot of things about horses and let her help feed the horses at her friend's stable (something she wouldn't be allowed to do at home). when spring came, they often secretly met somewhere outside. for that, katerina skillfully managed to sneak away from home without anyone noticing or questioning where she was. andrei eventually also showed her 'magic tricks' - aka traveler magic.

according to a deleted scene in 5x05, he taught her about tarot readings and also the keywords of unpossessing people with travelers in them (according to this scene, he also knew how to cook pierogi). katerina was curious and learned but never actually practiced traveler magic (because she actually was terrified about what her father said about it being the devil's work although she was curious).

as mentioned above, katerina developed a crush on andrei. katerina was a person who believed in love and was in love with the idea of love. andrei was her first kiss. andrei was also the first man she 'explored' (initially relatively innocent).

in this regard, it is worth noting that katerina never got 'the talk'. she had no sexual education (she grew up quite sheltered). she also had no idea how babies were made (she believed it only magically happened when a man and a woman were married and shared a bed). she was incredibly naive. sure, she knew that especially her father would lock her up if he discovers that she spends time with a boy, especially with andrei, because she has overheard that he was angered that this family had settled near them. she knew it wasn't proper for a girl to meet a boy (especially not alone) although no one ever told her why, and she also knew that it wasn't acceptable for her to interact with a servant. but katerina was careless/thoughtless because she was so in love with andrei and because she didn't really see or know of the dangers.

her first sexual experience happened on a warm day in the late summer of 1489, when katerina was already 16. katerina had once again snuck away from home and met with andrei at a small clearing in the forests that surrounded her home. they made out and did heavy petting. it made katerina feel good and again, she had no idea of the potential consequences. they were both pretty aroused and eventually, andrei wanted the real thing. he entered her a bit but stopped quite soon because it hurt katerina and she didn't want that kind of pain that felt wrong (that feeling kinda brought her back to reality). unfortunately, however, he orgasmed when he withdrew which ultimately resulted in katerina's pregnancy.

the chances of getting pregnant by something barely inside are pretty low but katerina, unfortunately, hit the big time.

she met with andrei a handful of times after day (before she found out she was pregnant) but they never went that far again. two months later, andrei and his family left in a night and fog action; he didn't even say goodbye to her which did hurt her. first, it was believed that they moved because travelers have to constantly move but unknown to katerina, they also moved because they found out about andrei's interaction with katerina.

in hindsight, katherine deeply detests andrei, mainly because she didn't know better and got involved with him (she hates having been so stupid); because she was so naive; because he is the reason she got banished, disowned, and exiled; and because he left without saying a word. in the deleted scene in 5x05, she explains to gregor, nadia's boyfriend, her aversion of travelers (the following quote is just one reason, she absolutely hates them): "my daughter is a walking reminder of an otherwise forgettable night with one."

nonetheless, and that is important to note, katherine never hated or detested her baby; she always loved her baby.

i also want to add that i deliberately described nadia's conception the way i did because i don't think that katerina had proper sex or did it more than once because, despite her nativity, she wasn't stupid or completely brainwashed by love. once things got 'real' (aka having real sex), it felt wrong to her and frankly, she also wasn't ready for that. the pregnancy was an unfortunate accident and had she known that what she did with andrei could result in a pregnancy, then she would have never done it.

[faithblob-says-things]

ooo okok lewis is one of those blorbos from your brain right? how about 🍽🍻🍺?

:D!!! SCREAMING CHEERING WE GOT A LEWIS ASK

🍽 What kind of food do they like?

He loves street food, mainly savory or spicy things! He's also a major fan of comfort food too, especially from other places! If I had to pin point a favourite for him, it be Takoyaki!

🍻 Do they drink? If so, how strong is their alcohol tolerance?

Lewis drinks sparingly, usually being considered the designated driver (also he'd rather be sober and record his friends/coworkers doing dumbshit while drunk). He has a fairly normal alcohol tolerance

🍺 If your OC drinks, what is their go to alcohol?

When Lewis decides to go drinking, he'll usually just get three fingers of scotch or he'll get a cocktail. One or the other tbh, depends on his mood (and how much Wonderland annoyed him)

Fun fact though! Lewis won't drink if Alice is present! Yes he understands that Alice is technically an indescribable horror from a pocket dimension designed to drive people insane and older than him by a lot and is a spirit but she looks 10(ten) at most and he doesn't feel comfortable drinking/getting drunk infront of what looks to be a 10(ten) year old. He may be aligned with the bad guys and one therapist visit from being marked clinically insane but he has a heart and cares for her in his own way.

[zepp-l1n]

Stay

Pairing: Zoya Nazyalensky x (Inferni) Fem!reader

summary: (Y/N) finds herself jealous of Zoya's attention on Nikolai. fic type - angst, miscommunication??, hurt/comfort warning - none, other than an unneeded anger towards Nikolai :) word count - 1,996 a/n: I have nothing against Nikolai (he's one of my favorite characters actually), I just felt like making some drama....

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(Y/N) wasn't one to hold a grudge, especially not against a royal. Nikolai Lantsov, however, was a different case. She couldn't stand the sight of him - his charming attitude, handsome looks, and those puppy eyes. Every ounce of his being made her blood boil, made her want to burn him to ash, and for one simple reason. He was taking Zoya away from her.

Zoya Nazyalensky had been the sole owner of (Y/N) attention from the moment she stepped foot in the Little Palace. Not only was she absolutely stunning, but she held herself with such a strong demeaner. Most were intimidated by her, but (Y/N) only found herself falling for Zoya more and more each time she put that demeaner on display.

Unfortunately for (Y/N), Nikolai seemed to have the same thoughts about Zoya. From the moment the two girls and Genya met the young king, he had taken a liking to the squaller. Any chance he had away from Alina, he found his way to her. The worst part was, Zoya never seemed to object to his flirtations. Every joke, comment, or advance he made was giggled at in response, and (Y/N) had to sit back and watch.

It wasn't like she could do anything. Zoya wasn't hers. She had no right to be jealous if she had never made a move. Some days it became to much, causing the inferni to abruptly stand up, and take her leave. Others she sat in self-loathing, wondering if she could've ever been the one making Zoya's face flush.

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This brought (Y/N) to her current moment, sitting in front of the king and squaller, once again attempting to hide her discomfort. The three were sat in one of the Grand Palace's many drawing rooms, along with Alina, Genya, Tolya, and Mal.

(Y/N) was sat across from the two, next to Tolya. He had his arm placed around the back of the chair they were sharing, and was trying to keep her mind off Zoya. Tolya was her closest friend, and was the only one other than herself that knew of her feelings for Zoya. "So, I was thinking, maybe you and I could have some sparring time soon. I've been meaning to ask considering we haven't had much time to fight since Sobachka put me on bodyguard duty." Tolya joked.

(Y/N) gaze drifted from the half-suli girl to her friend. A small smile grew on her face, but it didn't reach her eyes like it usually did. "I think so, although I don't know if Moi Tsar would let you go long enough." she chuckled back.

The two grisha smirked at each other enjoying being able to poke fun at the king, although they both had different reasons behind it.

As nice as talking to Tolya was, he couldn't distract her for long - especially when Zoya's soft laugh rang through the room. In any other case (Y/N) would've swooned at the sound, but seeing that Nikolai had been the one to cause it made her stomach twist into knots. The sight in front of her made the knots tighten and her her heart painfully throb against her ribcage.

Nikolai and Zoya had moved closer to one another, gazes full of admiration. The inferni had never seen Zoya so content. So happy. (Y/N) couldn't deny the good life Zoya could have with the king. She would be respected, loved, feared. She would have as much power she could ever want. Everything that (Y/N) could never give her.

All of it was too much for (Y/N) to handle. She hurriedly stood up, excusing herself. As she exited the room, she missed the worried looks her friends cast her, and the sullen look that overtook Zoya's face.

Alina glanced over at Tolya, giving him a confused look. He simply shrugged and sighed. "I'm sure she's fine. Just give her a little while."

Everyone in the room listened to Tolya, shrugging of the unusual scene - except for Zoya. She waited a few moments so no one would be too suspicious, before excusing herself to follow after her friend.

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(Y/N) walked around the Grand Palace's gardens, taking in the scenery. In her hands were small flames. Using her power helped (Y/N) let off steam in these types of situations. The flickering fire that split across her fingers soothed the tight feeling in her chest. Her small science had almost somewhat of a safety blanket over the years.

The inferni brought her hand closer to her face, watching as the flames danced in the wind. Her small time of silence was suddenly interrupted by the one person who was causing all of this. Zoya.

The squaller moved towards (Y/N), taking the spot beside her. They stood in silence for a while, just staring out into the gardens. Finally Zoya spoke up, "Are you okay? You left the room pretty quickly. We all got pretty worried, and I think you can understand why."

"I'm fine, just got a little.....overwhelmed." (Y/N) softly muttered. She clasped her hands together, putting out the flames.

Zoya didn't seem to believe (Y/N)'s answer, but let it slide. The two stood in an awkward silence once again.

"So," (Y/N) started, "you and Nikolai, huh?"

Zoya's face morphed into a look of confusion, but she quickly hid it. "Nikolai? I mean he's sweet, and a king. That's certainly a plus."

The inferni let out a forced chuckle. "Yeah, it's a pretty good plus." She looked over at Zoya, a cheerful façade on her face hiding her melancholy feelings. "I think I may go back in. Maybe hang out with Tolya some more."

"Oh? Would you like me to come wi-" Zoya was softly cut off by her friend.

"No thank you. I'm sure Nikolai would like to be in your presence once again, and you shouldn't leave the king waiting." after finishing her sentence, she swiftly turned back towards the Grand Palace. "Have a nice evening, Zoya." and with that, she left.

Once again, Zoya watched as (Y/N) left, feeling worried and hurt.

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"Saints! You can't walk away from her every time things get weird." Tolya grunted out.

"What did you expect me to do, Tolya? She likes him. The best thing for me to do is walk away." (Y/N) bitterly snapped back.

"You can't give up now." Tamar spoke up. The three grishas were hiding out in Tamar and Nadia's room, per (Y/N)'s request.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" the inferni asked.

The two Shu siblings glanced at each other before Tamar answered. "You've said it yourself, you really like her. And as much as I care for Sobachka, you can't give her up to him yet."

(Y/N)'s face contorted into one of sadness. "You didn't see her, though. She looked so happy when I asked about him." Tolya stepped forward, wrapping his arms around his friend. Tamar moved in a similar way, but only laid a hand on her back. "He can make her happy. She deserves that after Kirigan."

"You can make her happy!" Tolya persisted.

"Not like him." It seemed like nothing could change (Y/N)'s mind, so the siblings decided to leave it alone, and just comfort her. Tamar's heart broke seeing her friend like this, and she wanted nothing more than to tell her how Zoya's heartrate spike whenever she was around, but she knew it wasn't her place. It had to be Zoya or (Y/N) to make the relationship happen.

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Things got even worse for the inferni when Nikolai gave Zoya the job of general for his army. This caused the two to spend far more time together, only dropping (Y/N)'s spirits more.

It hurt her enough that she had started to avoid both her king and her friend. She couldn't be in the same room as them without wanting to light everything around her on fire. Over time she had spoken to Tamar and Tolya more about it, but none of the venting helped calm the emotional storm building in her body.

After dealing with the pain for long enough, she had come to the decision to give Zoya up, and request to be transferred. In all honesty, (Y/N) didn't need to ask considering she wasn't legally in the 2nd army anymore, but she still needed permission to leave the safety of the Grand Palace since she was such a large figure in the Darkling's war against Ravka.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" Nikolai asked.

"Yes, Moi Tsar. I'd like to go to the army camp outside of Fjerda." (Y/N)'s voice was monotoned, not wanting any of her anger towards the king to be visible.

"Alright. I'll send the request to their captain, then." he declared. The inferni nodded. "I do hope you'll visit. I think we'll all miss you (Y/N)."

She gave Nikolai a tight smile and took her leave. This would be the hard part - saying her goodbyes.

She went to Alina and Mal first, then Genya. After was Tolya and Tamar, which were the most emotional, a few other grishas, and finally Zoya.

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"You're leaving?" Zoya's voice came from behind her. The two were back in the gardens.

(Y/N) turned around, glancing at her. "I've put in the request - said my goodbyes too."

Zoya's eyes slightly misted over. So turned her head, glancing down at the soft grass. "You haven't said goodbye to me." she whispered. The inferni didn't respond, only turned away from her. "You weren't planning on it were you? Saying goodbye, I mean."

"I couldn't." (Y/N)'s voice cracked as she spoke.

"When do you leave?" Zoya's voice was thick with emotion.

"Nikolai said sometime within the week. The captain was happy to have another heat source in the cold, Fjerdan weather. He wants me up there as soon as possible." (Y/N) tried to joke, but the two girls were two upset to laugh.

Zoya went quiet for a while, not knowing what to say. Her heart was racing at he thought of (Y/N) going away. The thought that she wouldn't see her anytime soon, or possibly ever again. "Don't go."

"What?"

Zoya hesitantly made her way over to (Y/N), "Stay here. Revoke the transfer - stay with me."

The inferni took a step back. "I don't understand?"

"I want you to stay." Zoya looked up, giving (Y/N) a clear look at her glossy eyes. She once again moved towards (Y/N). "I want you."

(Y/N) didn't know what to say. After all this time she finally heard the words she had always longed for, yet she didn't believe them. How could she when Zoya and Nikolai were always together. "And what of Nikolai?"

"Nikolai? What about him? This is us I'm talking about, not Nik." Zoya confusedly spoke.

"Zoya, don't play dumb. I've seen you two. He likes you, and he has so much to offer. For saints sake, he could make you queen!" (Y/N) exclaimed.

The mist in Zoya's eyes started to streak down her cheeks. "I don't want what he can offer me. I don't want to be queen."

"You could finally have everything you've ever wanted, Zoya. I can't give you any of that."

Zoya outstretched her arms, placing both palms on the sides of the girl's face. Her hands became damp with the smeared tears under the inferni's eyes. "All I've ever wanted was this - you. Nikolai can't give me that. You can." She leaned her head forward, pressing their foreheads together. Both grishas basked in the closeness they had longed for.

"You really mean it?" (Y/N) gently mumbled.

"Every word." Zoya grinned, delicately removing her forehead from (Y/N)'s. She leaned closer, faintly placing her lips on the girl's.

Every once of anger or distaste (Y/N) had held for the king melted away in that moment. She now knew they Zoya was hers - willingly and happily hers. (Y/N) parted their mouths and tenderly smiled at the squaller. "I'll stay."

[tklpilled]

buttercream

sigma had been having a fairly decent day; nothing important enough to take note of had happened, but nothing bad had happened either and he was in a rather good mood. there wasn’t anything particularly stressful going on and things were running smoothly at the casino.

please, however, take note of the past tense.

the source of his worsening day appears behind him right when sigma turns his back. it’s not the first time it’s happened, but sigma still can’t figure out how he does it.

“please go away,” he groans, wondering in advance if he has anything to help with headaches.

“sigma!” nikolai exclaims, completely ignoring the previous statement. “how have you been, dear friend?”

“better without you here.”

nikolai continues to ignore him.

friend is certainly a way to put it. sigma’s never had friends, so it’s not like he has much experience, but nikolai is not going to be his first. his morals aren’t the issue, really, considering sigma’s own are rather skewed, but more the fact that nikolai is so loud and energetic and sigma prefers things to be the exact opposite of that. that’s not to say he hates nikolai, or even that he dislikes him, but of all people to be his first friend he would rather it not be the man who dresses like a clown and never bothers wiping the blood off of him before showing up in front of sigma’s customers.

“quiz for you, sigma!” nikolai points at him, a grin on his face. “what’s my favourite colour?”

it’s a rather tame question, which means there has to be a catch. sigma stares at him suspiciously. nikolai’s smile only grows.

sigma sighs. his fate is already sealed. “blue?”

“nope!” crows nikolai. 

“what is it, then?” sigma asks tiredly, wondering what he did to deserve this.

nikolai, once again, doesn’t answer him. “let’s see,” he says, tapping his finger against his chin. “you got it wrong, so i think you deserve some punishment, don’t you?”

there it is. sigma eyes nikolai’s overcoat, fearing for his life.

nikolai seems to notice his worry. “oh, i won’t hurt you!” he quickly adds, which only reassures sigma a tiny bit.

sigma sighs, closing his eyes. “what are you going to d-doho—whahat?”

nikolai’s hands are on his sides, squeezing them in a way that’s so unbearable and so strange. it feels almost electric.

“whahat are you dohohoing?” sigma giggles—giggles?—as he tries to pry nikolai’s fingers away. 

“i’m tickling you, silly!” the clown cheerfully answers. his eyes widen—or rather, eye, from what sigma can see, but he assumes the hidden eye widens as well. “aw, you’ve never been tickled, have you?”

sigma shakes his head, clamping his mouth shut tightly in an attempt to stop his unwanted laughter, but it breaks free each time. 

nikolai does not elaborate on what exactly it is that he’s doing, only continuing to draw squeals of laughter from his…accomplice. “well, then, i suppose i should make up for lost time!”

there are many of nikolai’s tones that sigma doesn’t like, but he decides he especially doesn’t like this one.

the feeling gets somehow even worse when nikolai decides he’s bored of sigma’s sides and switches to digging into the spaces between his ribs, and it’s not hard enough to hurt but fuck, sigma doesn’t think he can take it any longer, even though it’s only just begun.

“gogol!” he cries as he doubles over, keeping a tight grip on nikolai’s wrists. “ihihi—plehehease!”

he can’t remember the last time he laughed so hard, or for so long. he’s not a particularly stoic person, it’s just that he has no reason to. laughing feels nice, he’ll admit, but he does not like the weird, confusing sensation that comes with it.

nikolai coos. “you’re real ticklish, aren’t you?” he says as he claws at sigma’s ribs and makes him cackle. “this must be really unbearable, then, huh?”

“shuhuhut the hehell uhup!” sigma gasps. the words make his nerves feel like they’re on fire, more than they already do, and it amplifies the feeling too much. the feeling is at least dulled by his sweater, but it’s still so bad. “wh-whahat are yohohou dohohoing?” he tries to ask again.

nikolai crawls back down his sides, causing sigma to squirm to no avail. “a magician never reveals his secrets!” sigma snorts suddenly through his laughter. “i touch you and it makes you laugh. simple!”

really, between the embarrassment and the torturous feeling of nikolai’s fingers, sigma thinks he would’ve preferred actual pain. “i’ll kihihill yohohou!” it’s an empty threat. he probably couldn’t badly hurt nikolai even if he wanted to—well. he does kind of want to. 

“my,” says nikolai, looking almost surprised. “i didn’t think you’d be quite this sensitive. you’re even worse than dostoy!”

the thought of fyodor giggling helplessly like this only makes sigma laugh harder, and he’s only slightly curious how nikolai is still alive after that. ah, well, he probably won’t be after revealing such a weakness, even though sigma is far too terrified to ever act upon it.

he isn’t sure how long it’s been going on, but his stomach is starting to feel sore from his laughter and he doesn’t think he can handle this much longer. nikolai has to have some mercy deep inside him, surely—

ah. of course not. nikolai is massaging his thumbs into sigma’s hips and shit, he might die here.

“plehehehease!” he wails. nikolai apparently notices the desperation in his voice, or maybe he’s just getting bored—both of which are unlikely, but sigma is too busy trying to steady his breathing and stay on his feet to think about it. his face feels unnaturally warm. he thinks this is what people call blushing.

he doesn’t like it.

“your hair is all messed up,” nikolai scolds, ruffling it and only running it even more.

“ahand wh-whose fault is that?” sigma grumbles—tries to, anyway.

nikolai spins his finger in a circular motion. “turn around,” he instructs. sigma does, because he’s too tired to be suspicious anymore; which could easily end very badly, but his brain is too fuzzy to care about that.

luckily, nikolai is not trying to kill him—through tickles or otherwise—and instead begins to section sigma’s hair off to braid.

…he’ll allow it this once.

[tj-wrote-things]

𝐇𝐞 𝐖𝐡𝗼

Nikolai Lantsov x fem!Grisha!reader

Based off of this ask

A/N- Hey besties, this is kinda late,, and i hate it but only a little bit. Can you guys like -stop requesting arguments??? pls its breaking my heart.

Mega thanks to @itisroe e for being my editor and shoulder to whine on :)

*Id like to take a moment to say that Nikolai is a bit of a dick in this one, and id like to reiterate that its never okay to invalidate or insult a so. I dont condone that type of behavior, im just writing it

enjoy:)

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If there was one thing Nikolai Lantsov knew how to do, it was pout. You caught him— more than just a few times— slouched over on the blush red couch with his arms crossed, face smushed into a scowl as he studied you packing your bag.

You sighed, casting an increasingly irritated glance at him as you folded the coarse cloth of your winter coat and tucked it away with the rest of your belongings. The weight would be too much to bear, but you knew it would be cold up north where you were headed alongside Zoya and the Bataars. 

“I’m leaving at dawn, whether you like it or not, Sobachka.” 

The King looked away briefly at your words, hating understanding that you were right. He hauled himself out of his seat and redirected his sulking to the world outside the large window. It was beautifully blanketed in steadily falling snow. 

“Will you really make our last night together a bitter one?” you commented.

“It wouldn’t be our last night if you’d just let me come with you,” Nikolai huffed. 

You exhaled, dreading that this would be the third time you had this discussion, which, in his world, was more so a debate.

The reason was simple: Nikolai had no business accompanying them. The objective of the mission to Fjerda was a peace treaty between the Drüskelle and the Grisha populous. As Nikolai fit neither category, it had been decided that he would stay back and continue to hold the country together.

“We’ve been through this: to bring more people on the expedition would only irritate the Fjerdans. Especially, the king of a country with which they’ve been at war for a considerable amount of time,” you reiterated. 

Nikolai shook his head again, unwilling to accept it. He refused to welcome the fact that the love of his long life would be away and in perpetual danger for weeks. 

The wind whistled as it bounded against the window, filling the room with a violent creaking.

“It’s dangerous, Y/N, why can you not understand—” 

You cut him off swiftly as his voice began to rise, “You watch that tone, Lantsov, or I’ll—” 

Now, it was Nikolai’s turn to cut you off: “You’ll what? Leave early?” The young man turned to you from the window and met your incredulous gaze. “Oh, don’t look at me like that. We both know it's your only vice.”

“My only vice,” you mocked cynically. “In what regard?” 

Nikolai spread his arms patronizingly as if he were explaining the obvious to his childhood self.

“Your heart craves adulation,” he said, pointing a sharp, accusatory finger your way. “You’ll take any opportunity to leave Os Alta— leave me— and flaunt your gifts.” 

Your heart thudded heavily in your chest. In anger or despair, you could not tell.

You would not lie to yourself. You knew with all your heart that, all things considered, your mastery of the Small Science was a blessing, hidden behind the mask of a devil. In the days you served faithfully in the Second Army, your gifts were revered and you were respected in the highest regard amongst your Grisha peers. However, in the years following the war, you became like everybody else. 

It was at the behest of your husband that you progressively began to use your power as an Inferni less as the days passed. Ever the political mastermind, he had approached you one summer evening and begged you refrain from using your power in public, claiming that the presence of a Grisha Queen was too much for his fragile country to bear. In the beginning, you had agreed, for if there was one thing that surpassed your love for your husband, it was your shared love for Ravka.

You knew that relations between the Grisha and the others were strained, and so you agreed, taking your husband's hand and promising to limit the displays of glowing orange flames which had burned your enemies as well as warmed the hands of your allies. 

It was becoming increasingly difficult to train behind a closed gate, under a roof, beneath the watchful eye of First Army guards armed with fire extinguishers. In fact, it had grown so stifling you had begun to resemble Alina Starkov when first she came to the Little Palace, with her pallor skin and brittle locks.

You brushed the aforementioned hair, now soft and healthy from the effects of tailoring, behind your ear as you placed the brush down and sharpened your stare at Nikolai’s face, shrouded in silver shadows from the icy light of the moon.

“Craves adulation,” you grumbled, knowing that if your voice rose any higher, it would betray every emotion storming around your heart. “Have a look in the mirror, Nikolai, and tell me which of us truly fits your description.”

His description, in all its insulting glory, fit Nikolai Lantsov to the tee.

Nikolai Lantsov, who would smile and wave to a crowd with a Sun Summoner on his arm, allowing you to watch with disdain from your place on a horse beside Mal. Nikolai Lantsov, who would hide behind a pair of gloves to escape the truth of what he had become. Nikolai Lantsov, who had pushed his wife into a state of sickness, albeit unknowingly, sacrificing her life’s blood for the sake of his country.

Nikolai Lantsov, who resolutely shook his head, running a hand through the already dishevelled hair on his head, before waving it dismissively, as if swatting a fly. “Please. You’d flick your hands for anyone who’d ask— if they clapped hard enough.” Nikolai moved for the bookshelf, drawing out a novel as if his words were mere small talk with an old friend.

Your anger blurred to shock. “Flick my hands—”

“Honestly, you take every opportunity to flaunt it. I’m surprised the Little Palace is still standing after having you inside for twenty years!” 

There was no sense to his vile declarations now. Though, Nikolai could not see it. The anger, betrayal, and frustration at being left behind were all that clouded his boyish mind as he hurled one unkind word after the other.

“Nikolai,” You moved towards him, arm outstretched, eyes beginning to water. “Lapushka, please—” As your hand approached his, the storm heavier than ever. He wrenched his arm away from you, leering his head back to look you in the eyes.

“Truly, I can’t be sure why you haven’t left already.”

“For saints’ sake, Nikolai. Look at me!”

The dam broke as you flicked your hands, removing the tailoring to your appearance, unveiling the truth of your restrictions.

Nikolai stared with an open mouth and hard eyes as the warm winter flush of your cheeks was replaced with dulled skin, and the sleek shine of your hair was redefined with a brittle and unkempt bush.

“The only person from whom I crave adulation,” you whispered, “is the only man who’s too thick to look past a wavering mask.”

The Lantsov King swallowed, flipping the book restlessly in his hands. “Y/N—”

“Get out.” You left no room for him to argue, even when he opened his mouth once more. “I said leave!” You stalked to the door, pulling it open with a loud shriek of wood. “Now.”

Nikolai Lantsov, who spent the night in a guest room, in a state of perpetual regret.

No amount of tossing and turning brought any comfort to his aching heart, nor his pounding head. He flopped halfheartedly in the guest bed, stiff from lack of use, and from lack of you, revisiting the disgusting words he’d spat. The reason for them, however unjustified, sat heavily on his chest, suffocating him at an agonizing rate.

Nikolai Lantsov, who was afraid that— like his mother and father— you would grow to resent his blood, resent it for its stark difference to yours. The fear that you would  regret your marriage to what your people called an otkazat’sya: the abandoned.

The King figured it was only a matter of time before the title served him fully. 

It was reasonable, wasn’t it? To lash out at a time of vulnerability? Nikolai couldn’t be sure, having grown up in a family of despots who had never given him the time of day when it mattered most. 

Watching the tailored facade fall from his wife’s face, Nikolai was reminded solely of his mother, who, like you, was coerced into moulding her face into that of the perfect queen, at the behest of her husband. He knew then that all he had said and done was wrong. Wrong to her, and wrong to her people.

How could he bring himself to apologize? To walk into their bedroom and beg forgiveness? Would she forgive him? Even if he stooped— a king in tears and on his knees for the woman he loved perhaps more ardently than the country he vowed to govern— would she, in all her scorned glory, crouch beside him, take his face in her hands, and kiss away his regret?

Could he expect her to?

Dawn came around all too swiftly, rousing husband and wife from their fitful sleep in separate rooms, and with it came your departure to the northern lands.

You stood side-by-side with Nikolai as the carriages were loaded with provisions, luggage, and gifts for the Drüskelle, refusing to look at him. Instead, digging fruitlessly in your shoulder bag as an excuse to keep your head down.

The call came from the footman as the time arrived for you to leave. You didn’t make it more than one step forward with your hand gripping the leather strap of your bag before a firm grasp was on your waist.

“Wait,” whispered Nikolai, tugging you back. He cast a glance at the guard, letting him know that they would need a moment. “I can’t let you leave— not like this.” 

You held your gaze to the floor. Gently, he tilted your head back up with his thumb and forefinger. “Not now, not when you can barely look at me,” he continued. You held his stare as his hand shifted tentatively towards your jaw. “Not when I can’t be sure you won't come back to me, Milaya.”

You sniffled softly at the nickname, moving your own hand to his face and pausing to tuck away a loose golden curl.

“Please come back to me,” he said softly as if he were sharing a secret. There was an unspoken apology apparent in his reddening eyes while the seconds ticked by.

“Of course,” you murmured back, tipping his head down as you pecked his brow, then his cheek. “Nikolai, there’s not a thing in this world that could keep me away from you.”

You kissed him soundly, your hand running across the expanse of his jaw as he leaned into the tender forgiveness settled in your palm. When you broke apart, Nikolai took your hand from his face. He kissed your palm and walked you to your carriage. The King watched with concerned eyes as you took your seat.

Nikolai kissed your hand once more from his place on the ground and looked up at you. “Swear you’ll write,” he said. “Or I’ll crash the proceedings.”

You barked a hearty laugh, squeezing his hand as he tried to let you go. “I will,” you promised. “And I’ll see you when I come back.”

It was another moment before you let go of his hand. His palm hit the carriage door bearing the Lantsov crest. You watched as the carriage travelled further and further away, Nikolai’s frame disappearing into the horizon. 

“I promise,” you whispered.

•

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[youmissedone]

About the Muse: Carlos Oliveira

Full name: Carlos Oliveira Age: Usually late 20s to mid 30s (varies by verse) Sexuality: Heterosexual Ethnicity: Latin American / Native Brazilian

More info below the cut! =)

GENERAL INTERPRETATION

I am attempting a mashup interpretation of Carlos, taking him mostly from Resident Evil: Apocalypse and Extinction, with whatever I might need to draw from the Resident Evil 3 video game remake or RE: Retribution. I have also added a lot of my own additional development to him, especially as part of his background as an Umbrella employee and even during his childhood.

BRIEF DESCRIPTION

Carlos is a heavy weapons and vehicle utility specialist, formerly with the U.B.C.S. (Umbrella Biohazard Countermeasure Service). After Umbrella’s betrayal of his entire Alpha Team and much of his Delta Platoon during the Raccoon City Incident, he defected and became a freelance mercenary. In most verses, he wants nothing to do with Umbrella, unless it’s to screw up their plans. You can view Carlos’ available rp verses here!

PERSONALITY

He is known for his bravery, kindness, and sense of humor, and is not afraid to run toward danger or get into the thick of things to protect innocent people. He’ll go the distance for friends and loved ones, often achieving an extremely altruistic mindset. If he’s alone with nothing to do then he’s not doing his job, heh. And his job has nothing to do with employment since the world ended. He’s a capable soldier and he knows it, and many other people are not. They need his help, and he’s not going to sit idle when he has the ability to help even one person stay alive in this new hell of a world.

IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIPS (as they are with my version of him):

Yuri Loginova and Nikolai Zinoviev were fellow members of his Delta Platoon when they were deployed into Raccoon City at the start of the outbreak in Resident Evil: Apocalypse. Mikhail Victor was the captain of Carlos’ Delta Platoon in Resident Evil 3: Nemesis/RE3 remake.

Jill Valentine owed Carlos her life in RE3:N/RE3 remake. After bonding in their common battle against Nemesis, Carlos took it upon himself to enter the Raccoon City Hospital to search for the anti-virus while Jill lay ill. He successfully cured her, and the two of them were able to escape Raccoon City via rescue helicopter just before it was “sanitized.” In both this game and the RE: Apocalypse movie, Carlos and Jill grew to have a playful, sibling-like, back-and-forth relationship once they learned to trust each other. Carlos considers Jill a dear friend and ally, and would protect her at any cost.

Alice Abernathy met Carlos during RE: Apocalypse. They grew into close allies and became even more than that between the events of Apocalypse and Extinction. Their affection for each other continued throughout Extinction, until Carlos met a heroic end for the sake of his comrades. Carlos respects Alice as a fellow soldier, identifies with her for having been through the events of the initial outbreak, and harbors a deep, passionate, and affectionate love for her. They bond on so many levels, even when no words are said. She is one of the few people he can sit and relax with - sit in silence with, even - and be comfortable and at peace. She both quiets him and stirs him up in all the right ways.

Claire Redfield and Carlos became strong allies in RE: Extinction, managing a convoy of survivors together. He respects her as a capable and brave woman, but also as a sensible one. Unfortunately, many difficult and/or swift decisions with the potential to affect the lives of everyone in their convoy need to be made almost on a daily basis, and Carlos can always count on Claire to keep a level head and not shy away from difficult but necessary conversations.

DETAILED BACKGROUND

I wrote a long meta post going into more details about Carlos’ childhood, religion, language, PTSD, etc. here. I draw a lot from these headcanons when I write so you may want to skim through them to get an idea of how I’ve changed him as far as being canon divergent and all that good stuff. =)

[mhevarujta]

The Darkling in Rule of Wolves [SPOILERS]

I have seen very different opinions about The Darkling’s arc in Rule of Wolves.

Many haters think that his sacrifice did not make sense for his character, especially since he did not repent.

Many of those who stan a romanticized version of the character have complained that his complexity was taken away and that he was vilified excessively.

So here I am, feeling the need to explain why I believe that he is still a very complex character and that Leigh has written him in a way that further what she’s already established for the character in a beautiful way that we rarely see in the genre.

In fact, I think that Leigh has no anti-Darkling agenda. She wrote him as a villain that is a series of contradictions and who has a great arc of existential crisis; an arc which leads to him fixing some of the damage he’s caused.

Most villains in YA either keep to their villainous goal, or are centuries-old men who, after being set in his ways for so long, conveniently have a rushed redemption arc and a change of beliefs that doesn’t make sense and feels like they have had a change of personality. Leigh managed to tiptoe between the two.

Some Themes That Make It Into  The Darkling’s arc in Rule of Wolves:

 POWER & SAVING THE GRISHA:

As always, we saw that Alina has an influence on him. He allowed himself to be more vulnerable with her because he saw her as his equal. But that influence is about the need of having his power and the life he endured be understood rather than romance. Both of them have experienced the greed that comes with THAT kind of power, but they always had an ideological conflict. Alina did not draw the line on personal sacrifice but she was always trying to help the people. She would sacrifice her life and her powers. He wouldn’t… Or would he?

In Rule of Wolves, Alina poses a question that he thinks he has an answer to: Why does he have to be the savior? What about everything other people have done for his country? His answer is ‘power’. If HE who is special, who has all that power, all that experience, then who is going to make a difference?

There is a contradiction here. This is a man who genuinely cares, but whose idealism is an echo of the caring person he’d once been. It has become hollow.

 The Darkling, by the age of 13, had changed hundreds of names and moved constantly, had been hunted by his own people, betrayed by people he’d tried to help and had to resort to self-harm in order to survive. That was when he promised he’d create a sanctuary for The Grisha.

And then he lived centuries of wars, betrayals and setbacks. He gave and gave until he had enough and went completely off the rails. His people were his aim, but he became so desperate that he crossed every line. He turned from a mentor to a puppetmaster. His was so fixated on the idea of ending the wars that he could not see that he was employing the same methods he was trying to end.

The more he lived, the more he left pieces of himself behind because he could not go on otherwise.

He thought that by ruling, by becoming king and weaponizing the fold, he would end all wars. He still wants to be the savior.

  BEING UNAPOLOGETIC & ‘NOTHING LEFT’

 Even when he dies, Aleksander does not repent, but at the same time he is very much aware of having committed atrocities and even during his last moment with Alina he does not apologize.

After all, that’s what he learned since he was a child. Baghra was his teacher and he was an apt pupil:

 His awareness of having crossed the line is obvious by the fact that he did not want a grave. He knew it’d be desecrated. Even though he was not sorry for trying, he knew that without having achieved his end nothing could begin to excuse what he’d done. He knew how hated he was.

There would be nothing left of him; no physical remnants, no legacy, and only one person to mourn the person he could have been. He leaves the world with this knowledge.

His true name is erased.

Being in his head, we see that, upon his return he is thinking of himself as Aleksander while using a different name (Yuri’s) once more. He is still hiding, and as long as he has to hide, the world is not as he wants it. As long as he’s hiding he can’t leave a legacy behind.

So based on what we know of his actions and of the way he’s loves, I think that

- the Darkling wanting to see Alina and to be understood by her, but being resistant to her morality and crossing her one more time to take his powers back,

- being accustomed to hardship and to biding his time,

-underestimating Nikolai and the triumvirate and seeing them as weak individuals instead of considering them as a strong unit,

- using Yuri’s name but still thinking of himself as Aleksander,

-taking advantage of the Starless to make his dramatic return while saving Ravka and gaining the people’s gratitude and worship,

-wanting Ravka to win and aiding Nikolai when because HE couldn’t win single-handedly and he didn’t want to lose but still thinking that, since the bells had been destroyed, HE was a batter option to lead.

are very much in character.

There are three major things about his arc that readers may consider to be out of character:

a)      The Darkling helping Zoya rise as a queen/

b)      Aleksander choosing to sacrifice himself to stop the blight.

c)       The public revelation of his name.

So let’s examine them one by one.

__________________________________

a)      Aiding the rise of the Dragon Queen.

Aleksander questions both Zoya and Nikolai. He considers them children, one two weak to embrace her powers when she could be among the strongest Grisha who have ever lived and the other too immature to use his political power for anything more than playing pirate. In fact he thinks they are ‘dangerous to him and to his country’.

 During the last battle Aleksander is forced to consider things that he hadn’t before.

One is the question Alina posed to him. Is HE the only one who can save them? The other can be summed up with Mal’s joke: ‘You’re rusty old man’.

 After he snapped and decided that he must rule and that he has to use the Fold, Aleksander pursued his goal single-mindedly. But war changed around him. People moved from swords, to guns, to bombs, but Aleksander’s power was constant, reliable. And then THIS was and Rasmus’ Hajefetla came. The Darkling thought he could give them victory but he HAD his power and couldn’t use it.

But even when everything seems lost, Nikolai fights and is ready to sacrifice everything. Slowly, the Darkling’s view of Nikolai shifts throughout the book.

He sees how Nikolai cares for all his people. How he was strong enough to embrace the monster and to make sacrifices and he helps him. But even then, after the bells are destroyed, he still thinks that he is the best chance his country has and steps back.

But the second miracle does happen. The Darkling had dismissed Zoya as a girl who couldn’t open her heard and embrace her power, but she opens the door. She saves the day both with her strength and with her mercy. She makes the show of power that The Darkling himself made to do and she exceeds his expectations.

And at that moment, Zoya could have been seen as a monster, a witch, all the things that Grisha had been hated for. So The Darkling chooses to give the push the people need; to be the one to break them out of their shock and push them to the direction that suits Ravka before anyone else does: ‘Sankta Zoya’.

And when he makes a stand in her favor when she gets accepted as a queen:

1) Even though I don’t believe he still thought of Zoya as a pawn at this point, I DO believe that he had realized how showing his allegiance might give him a potential opening to call in a favor if he ever needed it.

2) Helping her makes sense because even he would be able to see that a Grisha who has military, political and religious power and who has immeasurable power that could only grow gives Ravka its best chance.

3) He has the opportunity to further Ravka’s political stability while getting rid of the Apparat, whom he despises both because he betrayed him personally and because he is a rat who keeps endangering the Grisha and even Ravka as a whole.

He used all the influence he had left.

b)      EXISTENTIAL CRISIS AND SELF-SACRIFICE

Throughout Rule of Wolves, The Darkling goes through an existential crisis. He is trying to remain the same, to keep to his old practices, but by the end of the book he understands that the world has changed and he has to change in some way too. He does not have a complete change of heart. People are mostly set in their personality by their adulthood and a tiger easily changing its striped after centuries would be completely unrealistic. Neither are his crimes glossed over. But the reasons he sacrifices himself are woven throughout the story.

-A theme throughout the story is that we started in Shadow And Bone from ‘the age of Grisha power is coming to an end’ and went to ‘the age of Saints is upon us’. What is the main difference between Grisha and Saints? It’s faith. It’s the way the ‘saints’ are accepted and worshipped for their power and sacrifice. The Darkling wants to be loved. He wants for his sacrifices to be recognized.

In a single scene we see both his inability to adjust to the world he finds himself in and his need for his efforts to be recognized. Because he DID give his life for Ravka. He did so, from his perspective, when he was killed during the Civil War, but he also did by not having really had peace or REALLY lived his life since he was a child.

In the main trilogy he was bitter about the Otkazats’ya easily turning on Grisha. He was bitter about how Grisha were treated by the rulers of Ravka. The Grisha had to bow but the Saints are the ones that people bowed to. Faith is the only thing that may allow them to stop hiding. So he wants to be a Saint. He didn’t manage to earn it in battle, so he must find another way.

The Darkling approaches The Starless, but even as he tries to have more rally behind him he is disappointed in his new following. During his first POV chapter he says that he will “teach the world awe”. But it’s made clear that his is not enough for him. His followers BELIEVE but their belief is hollow. They are afraid of who he truly is, they barely believe in everything he stood for. They are awed, easily manageable, but they do not care about the Grisha. They do not care about Ravka the way he does. They do not see him when he’s right in front of them, making him want to scream that he is there, that he exists, and when one glimpses behind Yuri’s mask he sees ‘evil’.

What he wants is devotion because of what he’s tried to do, not blind faith. He feels unseen; faded. Moreover, he still hides while he thought he didn’t have to. Initially he thinks that he can finally choose to be himself and to reclaim his true name: ‘The oldest of them: Aleksander. He had no reason to hide his strangeness anymore. Saints were meant to live forever.’ But he falls into old patterns. He is ‘Yuri’; he is in hiding once more.

-The Darkling DOES NOT LOVE HIS POWER in itself. He loves the strength it gives him, the feeling of being special, but he does not enjoy the darkness, despite embracing the color black or having previously chosen dark rooms for himself.

“He wanted to be out of the darkness, back beneath the watery winter sun.”

“He only wished that it wasn’t winter. He wanted to turn his face

to the sun and feel it warm him. The cold frightened him now. It felt like

death, like the long silence of not being, without sense of time or place, only

the understanding that he must hold on, that someday, there would be an end

to the terrible stillness. He’d been a long time in the dark.”

Even in his previous life, he was mesmerized by the beauty of the world.

And now he has to face THE BLIGHT: A consequence to him coming back, which, based on the fact that it expanded THE MOMENT he used his power to kill one of his followers, is connected to him growing stronger and using his power. This power, which is similar to the Fold, is independent of him and untamed in the world and creates wastelands, ruining the country that he tried to save. In fact, it is compared to a vampire; to a creature that needs blood to be sustained. It destroys all the things that Aleksander dehumanized himself to fight for and all the things he found beautiful in the world.

Even when it doesn’t touch HIM, he doesn’t know why; if it’s because this plague recognizes something in him, or if he’s so ruined that it doesn’t have a taste for him. And both scenarios show an alienation from his power. His feelings of being whole because of his power have being tainted by something he had never experienced before.

And how could he, who represents the lack of stars, the darkness, be valued and not just feared? 

For the Starless Saint to become the people’s salvation the darkness that spreads across the land must be defeated by his own power of darkness, 

In the original trilogy the theme of the Darkling falling into servitude of his own power was touched upon. 

In RoW it was furthered. And Aleksander has made his decision:

Never again a servant; not even to his own power. 

 WITH THE DARKLING’S SACRIFICE:

1)      He saves Ravka and allows back into the world and into the fold all the colors and the light that he used to love about it. But more importantly, At some point he mentions that “human life is worth preserving. But human lives? They come and go like so much chaff, never tipping the scales.” By holding back the Blight he ensures that human life is preserved.

2) His arc of existential crisis is resolved because he finds purpose, which he lacked after seeing that he was not enough to win the war and to create by himself the world he had craved) and saves his country in a way that only HE could, even if that wasn’t ruling. The vision Aleksander, the forgotten boy, had is aided in a way that serves the vanity of The Darkling, the eternal being he became.

3) Leigh brings full circle the theme of balance. “You were meant to be my balance”, he had told Alina. But THAT assumption was SO wrong and presumptuous. It was entitled. But finally he makes a sacrifice to be his own balance and to control what he unleashed. He caused pain and he endures pain. He was responsible for the Fold and for the Blight and he counterbalances the distraction they brought to the land and stops them from threatening Ravka.

_________

c)       ‘MY NAME IS ALEKSANDER MOROZOVA’.

Some say that The Darkling publically revealing his name was out of character; probably because the only revealed it to Alina and did not want others to know it.  

So let’s have a throwback to what we know. 

As ‘The Starless’, the Darkling is the only unnamed saint other than the Saint of the Book, who has no memory. The theme of a name being essential to memory is constant throughout Aleksander’s arc

‘A boy’s name given up; almost forgotten.’

“It’s my own name I’m afraid of forgetting.”

In Ruin and Rising, The Darkling dying nameless serves a purpose. Alina gives him the kindness for not giving people a name to extol. He entrusted it to her and she does not betray that trust.

What I find interesting is that, in The Demon in the Wood, Baghra tells him:

He had given his name to Alina who, in a twisted way, was the closest person to his heart at that point, because he considered it his equal and in his twisted way.

To become a saint, to be worshipped, to save Ravka, to not be forgotten he has to share this piece of his heart; of himself. He has to let people read it. He considered Zoya weak because she was afraid of her heard but she was strong enough to ‘open the door’.

After living the way he did and making the choices he made, his heart can never open the same way as hers did, but this is as close as his character could come to it without Leigh glossing over all he’s done.

[softdadcarlos]

Aftermath

Masterlist

Fandom: Resident Evil/Biohazard

Pairing: Jill/Carlos

AU: Post-RE3 Carlos and Jill

Summary: Leaving Raccoon City behind, Jill and Carlos deal with the present and think about the future.

Requested by @stardustfalling​ I hope you enjoy as this is the first half of your request!

Jill didn’t know how long they were flying for, completely out of it as she stared out into the horizon blankly. The city she knew was gone, reduced to smouldering rubble, her home and life as she knew nought but ashes. She had no idea what she meant to do now, the only thing she was certain of was that Umbrella needed to pay for the lives they’ve ruined and snuffed out before their time. She wondered if those she had encountered that weren’t on the train had survived, like Kendo and his family.

Jill was bought out of her thoughts by hands covering on her own that were resting on her knees. She looked over, meeting Carlos’ eyes as he gave her a soft smile.

“Looks like this is our stop supercop, chopper’s out of gas.”

Jill nodded, too exhausted for words both emotionally and physically. Carlos hopped out of the aircraft first, holding out a hand to her to help her down, which in all honesty she was grateful for. She had taken a beating the past few days and it was finally catching up to her as the adrenaline filtered out of her system. It seemed they had landed in an empty field not far from a large town.

Carlos walked out into her field of vision, silhouetted by the midday sun as he put a hand on his hip and gestured to the town with his thumb, “It’s roughly midday so shops should be open, I’ll be able to get us some new clothes to change into and some medical supplies. You probably don’t have your wallet on you but I’m more than happy to foot the bill this time.”

Jill raised a brow, “This time?”

“We need to lay low for a while, let Umbrella forget about us. So once we’re all cleaned up we’re hitting the bank so you can get out as much money as you can.”

Oh. He was making plans… that included her.

“Yeah, that makes sense,” Jill agreed.

“I would ask you to stay here for me but… I don’t think either of us will feel easy about being separated right now.”

Carlos wandered back over to the helicopter, shrugging off his assault rifle and undoing his vest. Leaving him in just his tshirt and cargo pants with a pistol strapped to his thigh. He looked distastefully at his sleeves, emblazoned with the Umbrella logo, making him reach up and rip them off.

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After an hour of waiting around for Carlos outside of shops as not to draw too much attention to themselves, they finally had what they needed. They just needed to find a place to stay. A shopkeeper had kindly told Carlos about a cheap hotel, not from the shopping district. So the duo headed that way, thanking every god that they could think of that the receptionist did bat an eye at Jill’s blood-covered appearance. They opted to share a room but with separate beds, feeling awkward about the idea of sharing a bed.

“I’ll shower first. I feel gross and I doubt I’m pleasant to be around.” Jill announced.

Carlos chuckled, “You don’t exactly smell like roses.” He dumped their shopping out onto a bed, sorting through it before tossing some clothes towards her, which she effortlessly caught. “I’ll fix you up when we’re both clean. Don’t want to touch open wounds with grubby hands.”

Jill grunted in response, heading straight to the bathroom, favouring getting clean over conversation. She situated the clean clothes on the towel rack before moving to the shower to turn it on, fiddling with the faucets to reach her desired temperature. God she couldn’t wait to get under the hot steaming water. The dried sewage and Nemesis blood making her skin crawl and itch as it cracked and flaked off of her as she moved.

She stripped off her filthy clothes, once again muttering about burning them in a dumpster because no amount of rinse cycles would remove the stains or stench. She stepped under the hot stream with a sigh, just standing under it basking in the heat as it relaxed her tense and aching muscles. Open wounds stang as the dirt that had caked them shut got washed away. More so when she reached for the hotel supplied body wash, scrubbing herself down rigorously like it could wash away the memories that were more than likely going to haunt her dreams.

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A full hour later, Jill finally left the bathroom cleaner than she had probably ever been in her life. The clothes Carlos had bought for her were loose-fitting sweats which she was very thankful for. The last thing she wanted to wear would be some sort of body-conforming ensemble that would rub up against and constrict her injuries. Especially after her brief self-assessment in the shower. It was more than likely she had a couple of broken ribs. Her ankles sprained.

Carlos took a significantly shorter amount of time in the bathroom than she did but then again, he didn’t have to trek through the sewers. He came out dressed in a matching set of sweats, probably having his own injuries he didn’t want to aggravate. His hair was slicked back out of his face, no doubt in Jill’s mind that if not its shaggy length while wet would have obscured his vision. It also revealed just how nasty of a black eye he had from his punch up with Nikolai which she hadn’t really noticed before. He went over to the bed that was silently agreed to be his, grabbing the medical supplies he purchased from a pharmacy.

He crouched down in front of her and started assessing her ankle, “We should get you patched up first. I don’t know how you managed to run around the city and fight that thing multiple times in this state.” He pushed up the pant leg to see how bad the bruising was and what he saw had him take in a sharp breath, “Jesus Christ, Jill, there’s nothing here that isn’t purple. Good thing I grabbed this arnica cream, should help the bruising go down… Although I think there won’t be enough for me.”

He was gentle in rubbing the cream onto the worst areas, even when he wrapped it in gauze to help support her ankle. From there he went into a pattern, reveal a new bruised canvas and lather it in cream, find a cut: disinfect and cover it. Some wounds required paper stitches to help encourage them to close. The wound from where she was infected would need actual stitches but the pharmacy didn’t have the items necessary for that. Jill tried to stop herself from blushing as she pulled up her sweater to just under her breasts, but her ribs couldn’t be ignored and self-consciousness would get her nowhere.

Carlos applied a gentle pressure as he surveyed the damage making Jill hiss. “Shit, yeah they’re definitely broken. But unfortunately, there’s nothing we can do. They can’t be splinted and binding them would make them worse. All I can offer you for this is an ice pack.”

Jill sighed, dropping the material, “Just my luck. But that can wait for now.”

Carlos nodded, understanding her unsaid order, stripping off his sweater so she could get a good look at his injuries. Multiple fist-sized bruises littered his upper body, a few scrapes and cuts on his arms. All in all not too bad… except for the gunshot wound in his shoulder. Jill felt guilt settle in her stomach. She did that to him. And the faded scars from stab wounds and other gunshots told her she wasn’t the first to injure him in such a manner. Probably a hazard of the job much like how it was for S.T.A.R.S. She flinched as he grunted when she disinfected the wound, muttering apologises as she did so. She was drawn out of it by Carlos placing a hand on her shoulder, looking her in the eyes, sincerity warming his chocolate coloured ones.

“Don’t blame yourself. I told you to take the shot.”

“It could have been so much worse if I had missed.”

“But you didn’t and I trusted you not to.”

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Carlos was already awake when he heard Jill tossing and turning in her sleep. They were both exhausted and had decided to call it a day early. It would be a lie to say Carlos wasn’t concerned for her. In fact, it would also be an understatement to say he was only concerned. After spending half a day searching for her and finding her on the ground, his first thought was that she had died and he had lost her. Of course, he was proven wrong when he approached her, relieved to find she was comatosed. Which didn’t last long with the realisation that she was infected. Carlos had never been through such a flurry of emotion in such a short space of time. But it did bring to light that he didn’t want to be away from her side. So sleep did not come easy to him, visions of her laying there bloodied on the ground swimming in his head.

He couldn’t begin to imagine what she must be seeing in those nightmares of hers, because there was no doubt that after that hell that dreams would be a thing of the past for a while. With a groan, Carlos pushed himself up and off his bed, approaching the distraught woman as she sat bolt upright panting.

“Easy there, supercop, I’m here.” He reassured, seating himself next to her and took one of her hands in his, thumb rubbing the back of it soothingly.

“I’m sorry-”

“It’s fine, I couldn’t sleep anyway.” Carlos chuckled dryly, “Was too concerned that if I closed my eyes and opened them again you’d be gone.”

Jill was quiet for a moment, considering his words before she spoke up, “Want to push the beds together?”

Carlos blinked at her, “Uuuh… Jill as much as I think that you’re one hell of a woman, I doubt you or I are in a fit state to-”

Jill covered his mouth with her palm, awkward laughter bubbling out of her, “That’s not what I meant. It’s just sometimes sleeping next to someone helps, you know?”

Carlos nodded, “Yeah I get you… Would you like to get dinner together tomorrow?” Jill looked visibly confused as Carlos became flustered at her unwavering stare. “I wasn’t kidding when I said you’re one hell of a woman. And I uh… there’s no pressure but uh… since I’m the only one out of the two of us that has a place to actually live once we leave this place… I was thinking it might be best if you crash at my place until you sort something out…” He trailed off, avoiding her eyes the more unsure in himself he became.

Jill got off the bed and Carlos felt his stomach drop. Shit.

“Come on let’s push these beds together, we can talk more about it once we’ve rested up.”

Begrudgingly Carlos got up and helped close the gaps between the two beds. Once done they settled into the centre of the unified bed. Carlos was pleasantly surprised to find Jill shuffling back into him while led on the side without broken ribs and grabbed one of his arms to drape over her stomach, interlocking her fingers with his. This effectively led to them spooning.

“I think I’ll feel safer like this.” She whispered, glad he couldn’t see the red colouring her cheeks.

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A/N:  A lot of the injuries Jill is described as having here I have kinda experienced first hand including the broken ribs and entirely fucked ankles. And let me tell you, injuries like that UNTREATED really fuck with your sex life. My ribs are still hurty nearly 20 years later. If only I had someone as gentle as Carlos ㅠㅠ Also I suffer from chronic pain and had a particularly bad time with it today and had a random ass anxiety attack on top of that.

I love hearing from you guys! Please tell me what parts you liked!

I do take requests! If you have any feel free to ask for one! But before requesting one please look at my to do list to see if someone has already asked for what you had in mind :) I'm also on twitter @mxbelmounte.

[whoslaurapalmer]

okay, final rule of wolves thoughts, clearly very spoilery, also literally just me talking about writing --

-there was a LOT going on plot wise but I feel like it was all paced pretty well, but at the end it did fall apart a little? mayu's pov just drops out?? (that's the book you should write next leighb not more crows as much as I love the crows but I'll get to that) zoya being queen is like phenomenal but also is really rushed?? same with nina and hanne?? they all become rulers completely unchallenged, without any difficulty?  -again, phenomenal moments and rightfully so and I'm glad they happen and they SHOULD, that difficulty shouldn’t always be there, nina calling it a beautiful dream but it being real matters so much, but it just doesn't feel.......narratively well done idk idk -i think it is just that it feels really rushed in some way  -like i don’t want them to have to work harder for that. but it IS really, really rushed 

-captain inej. my whole heart -kaz and jesper and wylan..........also my whole heart -kaz. my boy. the light of my fucking life.  -l o v e  h i m 

-i loved seeing zoya and genya and alina hang out at the very very end and wish there'd been moreeeeee

-ONCAT’S STILL ALIVE, THERE IS A GOD  -misha.......... :( 

-david's death -- on one hand, the cruel casualties of war, even when you think nothing can go wrong, the contrast in it happening right after the wedding, war and life can turn on a dime and that’s just, how it happens -- but, ugggg. It hurts bc there was so much of david and genya being precious and that shouldn't be the slap in the face it is when you read it again because then it's not sweet it's just foreshadowing loss and that's actually aggravating to think about. because we got so MUCH of it in rule of wolves. -especially bc david is THE ONLY casuality of the cast in this book????? literally the only one?????? unless i forgot someone????  -not that I WANTED more cast to die but. big casualties in alina's story and one (1) here. yes they've already lost a lot and zoya's garden shows that but, then especially why kill david 

-i don't know if I think the darkling gets redeemed -- I think it's a little funny that he brings together the starless one worshippers and he super hates them bc they aren't what he thinks he deserves and he can't completely manipulate them -- and I think him being resurrected in yuri in king of scars was a FASCINATING twist. because you read that and you think, oh my god, how are they going to handle that?????? 

-but, that's the thing, in writing -- it's not enough to write something that's a fascinating twist, you need to follow through with the right consequences of that twist. which means, you have the darkling again. what happens with him? he’s killed again -- but if immediately, why bring him back? if they wait to kill him, what is his worth to the plot that he lives longer? (and then he manages to manipulate them again!! as much as i wanted to see alina, i was really surprised that they actually, legitimately put them in the same room, that they even considered it, that they even asked alina!!! yes, nikolai will expend any avenue to help ravka -- but put alina and the darkling in the same room??????????) 

-he’s not killed again, or right away -- then he has to hang around. what does he do? does he try to regain his followers? he can’t because they aren’t who he wants. he has no one to go to. he doesn’t even go to alina again even if he knows where she is.  does he immediately plot against nikolai? but even the darkling admitted he can’t, but, since he did keep his powers, he’s clearly capable of it, actually. so then he’s just, trying to get the worshippers together and it just keeps going wrong for him like a sitcom plot? if he has to live -- is he redeemed? not every character can be redeemed. not every character DESERVES to be redeemed. does he hide and we never see him for the rest of the book? then that leaves an unresolved plot thread to be brought back later, and why? and then why not just kill him?  -then does he become a bigger plot problem for the characters that’s kind of unnecessary?

-so it brings me back to, again -- as fascinating a twist as it was, was it necessary? does the act of following through with the consequences come to outweigh the power of the twist, because those consequences cause more problems?  -and in general i think leighb is really good at working with ‘x happens -- there are consequences’ in her plots, so that’s why i’m so concerned about picking them apart 

-i’m sorry to make this like all about lulu talks about writing semantics but i respect leighb a lot as a writer particularly in her worldbuilding and characters which is why i want to think about this on a technical level  -so in the end -- is it a good twist??? or does it only harm or reduce the narrative that came before (he had to die and that was okay!!!!) and add an unnecessary additional plot problem to the narrative now??

-but -the darkling having to be the one in the thornwood, and finally stop the spread of the fold, what he himself was responsible for, that he deserves to finally suffer for because the darkling is a fuckwad and I hold like zero sympathy for him????? beautiful beautiful beautiful. (-but, again, it felt kind of too convenient, to have that be the answer to the blight.) (what should be the answer? i don’t know. it makes me wonder if the blight was something else unnecessary)  -but then genya forgiving him, for knowingly giving her to the king??? (not everyone has to be forgiven. not everyone can be forgiven.) zoya fulfilling his wish to be a saint???? which she did not have to do???? (guess it would appease the followers though??) giving him a pov???? like we need to know where he is, and it's funny that he's pissed off at the followers, but also maybe shouldn't be funny??? -oh what would've been fun (the good fun. not funny fun) was him wrestling with yuri more

-SPEAKING OF WRESTLING i know nikolai has to come to terms with the demon somehow and the failed obisbaya apparently helped but the demon was in the back quite a bit, I thought, even for as much as he shows up -maybe it’s just because it’s been like a year since i read king of scars 

-okay so the ending  -i know leighb said she wanted this to be like the grand finale of grishaverse but that she was still open to more and like i completely understand that but  -knowing when to end something is important, too. -every story has a natural conclusion. I think, yeah, there’s always, some piece that could probably still be talked about, BUT – you can’t just keep going back to a story or a world and try to draw more out of it, keep pushing something in it so you can push your characters and your story more and more. eventually it won’t feel the same. it won’t be a natural ending anymore, it will be, here is an end, OH LOOK HERE’S A NEW THING, here is an end, OH LOOK HERE’S ANOTHER NEW THING, and that’s already happening a little here. (-i don’t think it was bad that it happened with nikolai at the end of ruin and rising -- that’s leighb addressing the consequences of something that she set up, and why i think king of scars was necesary.) -stories end. character arcs, as we know them, come to an end. if not, then they are just mined for content, usually angst and drama, and that’s especially not good writing. you risk stopping creating something that feels genuine.  -so yeah i think king of scars was necessary to talk about the aftereffects of nikolai’s demon and where ravka is going. but i don’t know if i think it was successful.  -what bothered me about king of scars, even with the parts i did like, was actually nikolai and zoya meeting elizabeta and juris and grigori -i don’t know if i just thought it was unexpected and i’d feel differently if i read it again?? but i never forget reading it last year and feeling just, weird about it, like it was too out of left field, idk  -i think the connection between saints = grisha is important. but again it’s all just, execution stuff 

-i don’t think she should’ve set up a whole new adventure in the last like four pages, if it’s supposed to also have the ability to be a contained end to the story  -i don’t think it make sense to tease a new story!! i don’t think it’s needed!! i think it should have just had a plain happy ending with zoya taking the crown and being with nikolai!! i don’t think that’s bad!!!!  -i know the big thing is that, the downfall of grisha is the desire for power, and that’s what got alina (at least she got better. like the one time where ‘character lost powers’ is okay) and especially the darkling, but zoya has come really far in these two books in how she sees other people and working on relying on them as people she loves and i liked her chapters the best and they were what hit me the hardest, and i know it’s going to be a worry for her but i don’t think the idea of her becoming the darkling is something that should be given that weight  -ESPECIALLY IF IT WAS ONLY FOR FOUR PAGES 

-so yeah i think the logical next book would be a place leighb hasn’t explored, like with six of crows.  -there’s a lot to do with the shu and the kerghud that she could do and as much as i love kaz and think another heist would be cool, a heist has already been done and i think it would be a wasted opportunity to do that without doing something new in the grishaverse 

-it honestly really made me want to reread six of crows because i missed the crows a lot  -and i think it says a lot that so many people liked the chapters with kaz and jesper and wylan so much in rule of wolves -that was why i caved and bought rule of wolves right away!!! because i wanted to see the boy!!!!!! but i did also care about nikolai and zoya.  -personally i do think six of crows are the best books in grishaverse. i think they’re the most tightly plotted and have the best characters and are the most CONTAINED and the most compelling (even if i can’t always follow kaz’s implied background machinations) (i can’t always keep track of all the politics either!!) (not that big of a deal for me, though.)  -that duology is close to perfect. i think everything wraps up almost completely neatly (although i will, actually, be wondering now, about how death is handled in a narrative, re: matthias, because when i was reading them i thought, well, someone has to die in crooked kingdom, but, why? but anyway), and i love that the ending of it all is 1) characters continuing to change, and showing they will continue to change 2) inej reuniting with her parents aaaaaaa  (-worth noting though that the epilogue of ruin and rising is indeed one of my favorite things as well, too.)

-i did still enjoy rule of wolves, though!!! a lot of little moments i really really liked, and nikolai and zoya were beautiful and delightful and i love them too, and i do kind of want to reread king of scars and this one again to see if my opinion has changed when i read them closer together but -i also do really just want to reread six of crows, again. 

[writinginstardust]

Taste of You

Pairing: Nikolai Lantsov x reader

Warnings: it’s a smutty one, oh and Nikolai says fuck

A/N: Fictober day 9, prompt “there is a certain taste to it”. Nikolai does not say that about what you might be thinking, I promise. I could not bring myself to even consider it. Anyway yeah, some mostly plotless Nikolai smut for you. It’s weird that I’v actually spent a lot of time writing smut about Nikolai but this is only the second smut fic for him I’ve published so far. I’ll get the rest of it done sometime...

Word Count: 1243

*

Two weeks we’d been at sea and I’d hated every minute of it. The rocking of the ship on the waves was nauseating at the best of times, let alone when a storm hit. It was cold, windy, smelly and wet. Safe to say I was not having a good time. I found myself wondering often why exactly I’d agreed to come with Nikolai on this ridiculous ‘quest’ of his, turning down the option to stay home and look after things in the comfort of Os Alta. Sure the paperwork and meetings would be boring but at least I’d be on dry land.

I was gazing out at the seemingly endless expanse of ocean when I felt a familiar presence slide up beside me. Warmth brushed against my side and I leaned into it. How was Nikolai still warm out here? 

“Enjoying the fresh air?” He asked.

“No. The air out here is disgusting. I can’t believe you spent years doing this.”

“I suppose there is a certain taste to it.”

“That taste is called danger and you are addicted.”

“I wouldn’t say addicted…” Nikolai tried to defend.

“I would,” Tamar called from across the deck. There were murmurs of agreement from everyone around.

“You see what you do (Y/N)? You turn my whole crew against me.”

“Oh don’t be so dramatic.” I leaned up and kissed him quickly. He didn’t let me pull away like I’d planned to though, wrapping his arms tight around me and kissing me more deeply. That was why I’d agreed to come with him, I remembered. Nikolai could be very persuasive and a couple of months without him had been a rather unpleasant thought.

“Are you bossing me around again?” He asked when he finally pulled away again.

“When am I not?”

“Well I can think of some times when the roles are reversed.” I knew exactly what he meant from the look on his face and felt heat flood my cheeks as he let his hands slip down slightly from my waist.

“If you’re planning to continue that, please go inside,” Tamar said in disgust as she walked past us.

“That sounds like an excellent idea to me,” Nikolai said with a smirk. “After all, it’s much too cold out here to do what I’ve got planned.” 

I shivered, not just from the cold on deck, and Nikolai’s expression turned smug. He took my hand and pulled me inside, walking hastily and purposefully to our quarters. The door had barely closed before he had me pressed up against it, his lips on my neck, hands pulling my hips flush against his. I tried to suppress the gasps as he worked his way up my neck and over my jaw, pausing when he reached my lips. Only for a moment though as his own impatience won out and his lips crashed down onto mine. He didn’t waste time and deepened the kiss almost immediately, sliding his tongue against mine and drawing a moan from me. I could feel him grow hard against me at the sound.

Hands slid from my hips to the button of my trousers and Nikolai deftly popped it open before letting a hand slip inside. I ripped my mouth away with a gasp, head knocking back against the door with a thud. Nikolai grinned, I could feel it where his mouth rested against my neck. He left kisses on every inch of skin he could reach while he worked his fingers against me, spurred on by the sounds I couldn’t keep contained. Soon enough though, he removed them again and I bit back a petulant whine. He could tell though and his smile was far to self-satisfied.

When he dropped to his knees before me, however, I felt any complaints I might have had die on my lips. He pulled my trousers and underwear down quickly and I kicked them off, allowing Nikolai to hook a leg over his shoulder at the same time. I thought he might tease, he usually did after all, so I was unprepared when his tongue flicked out against me. My moans couldn’t be stopped and my hands flew to his hair as control over my own body slipped from my grasp. It was okay though. Nikolai was there to support me.

He was unfairly good at this and he knew it. Within a couple of minutes I came with a choked-off scream of his name. I slumped back against the door as Nikolai slowly stood again and kissed me. I could taste myself on his tongue but it didn’t bother me at all anymore, especially when I could feel him undoing his own trousers. I swatted his hands away and finished off the job myself, wrapping my hand around him and enjoying the groan he let out in response. 

With his hands now free, he brought them to rest on my ass, squeezing in retaliation and making me gasp. They travelled further, gripping my thighs now.

“Jump,” he ordered in a low voice that shot lightning through me. I did and he pinned my back against the door as I wrapped my legs around his waist. Every inch of him pressed against me and it was overwhelming heat. I was all out of patience. I needed him. Shifting my hips, I lined up and slowly sank down on him. The stretch was perfect and we both let out moans when our hips met and I stilled for a moment.

“Fuck,” Nikolai breathed against my mouth before he closed the gap and kissed me. 

His first few thrusts were slow and made my head spin but before long he picked up the pace and turned me into a gasping mess. I clung to him and bit my lip to stifle the loud moans that wanted to escape when he changed the angle and made me see stars.

“No darling,” he whispered when he noticed my attempts. “I want to hear you.”

“But...the others...might hear,” I panted, interrupted by a couple of moans.

“I don’t care. Let them hear.” I did as he asked, I always would. His own moans and ragged breaths soon joined mine and the air became thick with them. It was a lustful melody that sang along to the rhythm of my heart and pulsed through my veins. It was too much. The symphony built to a crescendo and I cried out at the peak, feeling a sudden warmth and calm spread through me as everything crashed around me and I collapsed into Nikolai’s arms.

When I came back to myself, it was to the feeling of Nikolai’s heavy breaths against my skin and warm hands running idly up my sides. He moved and then I was being layed gently on the bed, still out of breath and barely registering anything as he settled beside me. A kiss was placed to my temple and, after a little blind fumbling, I took Nikolai’s hand and twined our fingers together. I grinned as a thought occurred to me.

“I thought you were going to boss me around?” I heard him shift and turned my head to meet his eyes.

“Oh we’re getting there. Round two?” I raised an eyebrow at his smug smile.

“Already?”

“Yes.”

“Well that’s impressive.”

“I always am. You ready to go?”

“Always am.” He grinned and shifted over me to kiss me again. I was in for quite the night.

*

Tag Lists: (send an ask if you want to be added!)

Everything: @wonderfilledness @writingbychelle @ad-astraaaa

Grishaverse: @chiefqueenenthusiast

[ships-taken-my-soul]

@checkmate123

@nikolai-mikhailovich

First of all i wanna show you a short and simple plot:

On planet Kinniku it‘s decided to create exclusive championships for women.

Michiko Kinniku, daughter of Ataru Kinniku, takes part in it and with other female chōjin she goes to the school of Athena, especially made for them.

But the life of a chōjin is full of ups and downs, and the world championships will not be their only obstacle to overcome.

A myriad of evil chōjins compete for success and to gain the dominion of the world.

Will Michiko and all her friends be able to defeat the bad guys and keep the peace on Earth?

You'll only find out by reading: "Ultimate muscle: Ladies league"!

Now the character description:

PERSONAL INFORMATION

Name: Michiko Kinniku

Age: 18

Birthday: 23th November

Gender: Female

Height: 170cm/ 5’6”

Weight: 87kg/191lbs

Homeland: Planet Kinniku

STATUS

Classification: Seigi chōjin

Chōjin kyodo: 900,000

Trademark technique(s): Kinniku buster (from Mantaro and Suguru)

Muscle millennium (from Mantaro)

Napalm Stretch (from Ataru)

Kinniku bow (i’ll show this pratice one day😂)

RELATIONS

Family: Ataru kinniku (father)

Kasumi kinniku (mother)

Mei kinniku (sister)

Mayumi kinniku (grandfather)

Suguru kinniku (uncle)

Bibimba kinniku (aunt)

Mantaro kinniku (cousin)

(Oc characters will be shown one day)

Trainer(s): Ataru kinniku (previously)

Mantaro Kinniku (hahaha idk if he will be a good trainer, maybe he needs Meat help 😂)

TRIVIA

Favorite Food: Karubi-don, Sushi

Least Favorite Food: Every spicy food

Starsign: Sagittarius

Hobbies: Drawing, Watching anime, Wrestling

Fears: Spiders, natural disasters

If she had a theme, it would be on electric guitar

(That instrument would be the principal one but there would be others as an accompaniment)

PERSONALITY AND BEHAVIOR

She’s an energetic and adventurous girl.

She really loves to forge new relationships with the people she consider worthy of respect.

She admires Mantaro, her cousin and forces him to be her trainer, after she saw his innumerable success (and only one defeat!)

She loves eating and watching anime, from which she take inspiration for her drawings.

She hates being commanded and reprimanded, and very often she is annoyed by the people she doesn't tolerate, even for the smallest things.

But with those who love, she can be truly unique.

She is strong and possesses great skills as a fighter, thanks to the training of her father Ataru.

Unlike her sister, that she doesn’t like, she loves to fight and make herself useful as Seigi chōjin.

Her best friend is Brianna, the younger sister of Terry the Kid.

Together they are a perfect duo, except for the various disagreements.

But in the techniques and in the fights they would form a deadly tag.

CLOTHES AND ACCESSORIES

Michiko wears a mask, like every member of Kinniku dinasty.

She too, like her father Ataru, has the power of Face Flash, which is why she absolutely must not take off her mask, in addition to the fact that she would be forced to kill herself if she exposed her face publicly.

Michiko's suit is inspired by that of her cousin Mantaro.

She made it similar in his honor, just like his combat mask.

She wears brown boots up to the calf similar to those of the cousin.

She has her hair perpetually loose and when she wears the other mask, a tuft comes out of a hole in her forehead.

Her eyes are dark brown, almost black.

Brianna⬇️

https://ships-taken-my-soul.tumblr.com/post/186884585756/checkmate123-nikolai-mikhailovich-personal

Gazellin⬇️

https://ships-taken-my-soul.tumblr.com/post/186887456481/checkmate123-nikolai-mikhailovich-personal

Chess⬇️

https://ships-taken-my-soul.tumblr.com/post/186890899546/checkmate123-nikolai-mikhailovich-personal

Ilse⬇️

https://ships-taken-my-soul.tumblr.com/post/186907137961/checkmate123-nikolai-mikhailovich-personal

Venus⬇️

https://ships-taken-my-soul.tumblr.com/post/186928792811/checkmate123-nikolai-mikhailovich-personal

CyberBabe⬇️

https://ships-taken-my-soul.tumblr.com/post/186932534881/checkmate123-nikolai-mikhailovich-personal

Queen⬇️

https://ships-taken-my-soul.tumblr.com/post/186935821756/nikolai-mikhailovich-checkmate123-shes-the

That’s all, if i say something wrong, plase help me to correct it!

I hope you’ll like and i really hope that you’ll follow my story when i’ll publish it!❤️