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cosmicpadfoot · 5 months ago

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i met my younger self for coffee this afternoon.

she scheduled it at four pm, said she needed to take her classic nap after lunch first. i couldn't agree more.

i got there 10 minutes early and she was already there waiting for me, said she arrived just 5 minutes ago. we both commented on how we hate people that are late.

she ordered her coffee black, with no sugar. i ordered a special coffee from the shop only, wanting to try something new. i know she judged me silently for getting a sugary drink, but i decided to let that slide.

she wore a faded flannel, some ripped jeans and a pair of red converse shoes. i wore a black jean jacket with some bottoms on it, some mom jeans and a pair of red converse shoes. she told me she would always wear them because her grandma thought they were cute. i told her mine did as well, that's why i wear them almost everyday.

she said she was really insecure about her career path, but was free lancing as a graphic designer to get some money. i told her i am studying to become an architect like my grandma from my dad's side of the family was. she smiled a little, though the idea was cute, said she would think about it.

she said she like playing The Sims 3 anyway, and Minecraft too, and said she was practically an architect anyway because she loved watching The Property Brothers. i didn't have an answer to that, just laughed and sipped my coffee, which actually was too sugary for my liking.

she told me i was the first adult to really listen to her in a while, that her parents didn't really understood her much. i told her that, at her age, mine didn't either, but with time and therapy things got better and now we have a great relationship. as i watched her eyes shine a bit with hope, i told her that she would always have me to talk to as well.

she smiled a little bit brighter than before.

she told me about her friends at school, her two guinea pigs, and her favorite teachers. i told her about my friends, my art projects and my favorite teachers at uni. i also told her i wanted to get a dog or a cat, that i missed having a pet. she suggested me to get a really fat orange cat and name it Garfield. i told her i was thinking to do exactly that.

i told her that my favorite coffee shop used to be at that same street, but it closed down and became a mattress store. she told me that that was her favorite coffee place, that her and her mom used to go there all the time.

she told me she was really getting into a new band right now, called Twenty One Pilots and that they were going to tour with Fall Out Boy so they must be pretty good. she told me that she started watching a new show called How I Met Your Mother. she told me she loved watching Dan and Phil Games after school and she loved their The Sims series.

i told her that i listen to Twenty One Pilot's new album on my way to my internship. i told her that i am on my countless re-run of How I Met Your Mother and advised her to watch the alternative ending instead of the canon one. i told her i love playing Dan and Phil's videos in the background as i work on my projects at night.

she told me that she had dyed her hair blue and purple recently, i told her that i was bored of dyeing my hair so often, so now i just kept the blue peekaboo highlights. we both agreed that we couldn't recognize ourselves with just plain black hair anymore.

then, she asked me if i had my own place yet. i told her i didn't, that i still lived with my parents.

she told me it was okay, everyone had their time anyway and i was still so young that it would be an actual miracle if i was already living by myself.

i didn't answer it, surprised at how comprehensive she was. i didn't expect it.

she told me she was scared of not getting into a good uni, of choosing the wrong course and failing, and that she felt that her time was running out.

i told her that she should listen to her own advice. i told her that she didn't need to know everything right in this instant, that life would find its course no matter what, and she would be great at anything she put her mind to.

i saw the glimpse of shock in her so calculated expressions, surprised someone listened to her troubles and eased her mind. i guess she didn't expect it.

she warned me she needed leave around six pm, saying her best friend's dad would pick her and the girls up for a sleepover, it was the weekend anyways. i said i should get going as well, since my best friend would pick me and the girls up for a sleepover, it was the weekend anyways.

as i made the move to pay the bill, she insisted on paying her half. i said i would pay for everything, the coffee was my idea so it was my treat anyway. i saw her typing in her phone, a message with what seemed to be a rolling eyes emoji at the end. i decided to let that slide and even added some cookies to the bill, saying she should take it to the sleepover for her friends. i saw a little smile grow at the corner of her mouth.

when i saw my best friend's car and her best friend's dad car pull up at the corner, i noticed they were the same model and color. i smiled, and i noticed she smiled too.

i hugged her first, before she could back off or think she didn't deserve that hug. she gave me such a bone crushing hug i thought our souls would melt into each other. in a way, they would.

her best friend's dad eyes on the rear view mirror glinted at me as if he knew me from somewhere. i gave him a small wave back, knowing he would recognize me anywhere.

i watched her shove her stuff in the back seat, talking to the girls so excitedly about all the new gossip they had to share with each other. i opened the passenger seat door of my best friend's car, and the gossip happening in our backseat mirrored theirs perfectly.

i looked in her eyes one more time before getting in.

we both locked eyes. me and her. her and me. me and me. her and her.

at that moment we knew something that the whole universe was yet to find out. but that was fine, it was just for us to know anyway.

she got in the car, and as it went off i heard the giggles of her and her friends.

i got in the car, and as it went off all i could hear was the unabashed laughter of my friends.

as we stopped at a red light, our cars next to each other, i heard the notification sound on my phone go off.

i saw her big smile from the side mirror, as she was squished in the backseat with other three very familiar faces chatting excitedly at her side. faces that were now a little more mature in the car i was in, but so young in the car besides us. if only they knew.

i looked at the screen and saw her message glowing as the night sky started to come in.

"we should do this more often, it was really fun! XD"

i looked at her and nodded through the window, cringing inwardly from the XD, but at that moment i would let that slide.

i could see her eyes were a bit watery, hiding behind her fringe so her friends wouldn't notice.

my eyes were watery too, a single tear escaping through my cheek. the hair tucked behind my ears flew a bit in the wind from the window being open. i didn't hide it, and as my friends noticed that i was crying, i told them i would tell them all about it later.

"we really should! i missed you bestie!" i sent it back to her.

i saw her eyes roll as she read, probably cringing at the "bestie", i knew it would be harder for her to let that slide and she would tease me later for it, but that was fine.

the light went green, our cars started to move in different directions.

i miss her already.

☆.

inspired by the tiktok trend and the book deep in my feels by jennae cecelia who wrote the original poem that inspired the trend.

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redrobin-detective · 2 years ago

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You better learn it fast, you better learn it young 'cause someday never comes

Father was coming. Months and months of waiting for him to reach out and, finally, Father was coming home. It wouldn't be to stay, no, he had his own life outside of the ice. As much as Ice Thing who had once been Gunter and before that Orgalorg missed him, they knew father had earned his flesh and freedom back. The crown had been Father's prison but it was Ice Thing's bright new future. Once upon a time, they would have never been satisfied with this; paltry powers and a minor kingdom but Father's influence had shown them the beauty of a simple life.

"Come on everyone, Father and the others will be here any minute and I want this place spotless," Ice Thing announced, clapping their way through the hoard of penguins careful not to jostle them. They were the master now but Ice Thing would always be one of them.

"Wenk," Guntilla said, flapping her fins.

"No, he's just visiting and if we want him to visit again everything needs to be perfect," Ice Thing explained impatiently.

"Wenk, wenk," Goonder noted bitterly.

"Don't talk about him like that, he may look and act different but he's still our father. I expect all of you to be on your best behavior or we'll have no snacks or cuddles tonight and that's a promise," the rest of the penguins wenked in dismay and hastily went back to cleaning the Ice Palace. They were just putting the final touches on the charcuterie board when there was a knock at the door.

"Oh they're here!" Ice Thing exclaimed, "Gonther, Ginty, open the door and let our guests in." They stood in the entryway holding the ice board of snacks when the group shuffled in. Big sister Marceline - elder only in years as Father's child and not in age- and younger brother Finn were there followed by friend Jake. The Candy Princess was absent, Ice Thing was neither surprised or unsurprised given her bad history at this palace. Father was hanging towards the back of the group, looking shyly around the place. He had on an obnoxiously big coat with his hands stuffed under his armpits. He was using the coat more as a shield than out of any desire for warmth.

"Welcome! Welcome!" Ice Thing exclaimed, shoving the ice tray into Jake's hands so they could shake everyone's hands. "I was delighted to get your message; I'm so happy you guys could come. Please stay as long as you like, here have some snacks, have anything you want. The fruit of the Ice Kingdom is yours for the picking!"

"Thank you for having us," Father said quietly. His mouth quirked up into a little smile as some of the penguins waddled up to him and flapped at his knees. "And hello there, how have you all been?"

"Wenk," Gunder elaborated. Father blinked in confusion at the various chirpings. Ice Thing had worried Father would lose his affinity for Penguinese along with, well, everything else. The others would be so disappointed but they'd deal with that particular heartbreak later.

"He says he's better now that you're home," Ice Thing translated before hastily continuing when they saw father's grim expression. "Of course I've explained that this is just a visit." They reinforced to the penguins still mobbing Father. "Father doesn't live here anymore, he has his own home to return to. He's here to collect his things from the Past Room, remember?"

"Father?" Marceline muttered under her breath with a guarded look.

"I mean it makes sense, Simon or wait I guess he was Ice King back then was always babying these guys and calling himself Daddy and stuff sooooo," Jake continued. He opened his jaw wide and ate the entire charcuterie board, ice tray included. "So I guess you don't speak penguin anymore, huh?"

"I guess not," Father said, hands awkwardly hovering over the heads of his penguins, children who had not seen him for months on end and demanded attention. Some begged for forgiveness for whatever kept him away from home. Some screamed at his absence, at his change. Some wept, believing he no longer loved them. Father, ignorant to their chittering, looked up at Ice Thing with poorly disguised anxiety.

"Gunter," Ice Thing said to his second in command. "Please show our guests to the Past Room so they can get stared. Ice boxes are all set for you down there. I'll let Father take what he needs from his bedroom and he'll join you downstairs soon."

"Why the rush? I think we should all go together?" Marceline frowned. They didn't know what she was jealous of when Father clearly favored her best.

"Marcy, come on, let them have some alone time. I think they got some Daddy-Alien Penguin Child stuff to sort through," Finn loudly whispered which everyone heard. Father's tanned cheeks turned an embarrassed red but said nothing. "Alright Gunter 2, lead the way!" He spun around to follow after the penguin and the others followed leaving Ice Thing alone with his father. They'd missed him terribly but now that he was here, they had no idea what to say.

"Your room just as you left it, didn't touch a thing. It's always open to you, if you ever want to come back, for a visit or for longer. The Ice Kingdom will always be your home," Ice Thing explained cheerily as he showed him the path Father undoubtedly knew. Father was silent as he walked quietly behind them.

"The penguins have missed you," so did I, went unsaid. "I'm sure they would love it if stopped by more often, or even just called."

"I didn't mean to abandon them," Father said slowly, carefully. "I will admit I was scared of coming back, afraid that being here would - I don't know - make me turn into him again or something. I didn't forget about them or you, I-I guess I hadn't framed our relationship as you had."

"You hate the Ice King," Ice Thing said, their voice becoming rough and losing it's whimsy as they stood in the entryway of his father's former bedroom. Blue mumus, various colored pencils and cracked ice sculptures were littered on the floor, unmoved since their owner last threw them there. Ice Thing had stood in this doorway many times, intending on tidying up the space but found they could not touch their father's abandoned possessions. Then he really would be gone.

"I don't really hate-"

"You deny all the things he loved in order to separate yourself from him. You stay with sister Marceline and care for brother Finn but we were your children the longest and instead you shun us." Ice Thing stated coldly, staring ahead into the vacant room and not at the familiar imposter beside him.

"The Ice King was silly and kind and full of feelings he could not understand much less control. But he was, more than everything, my beloved father. I understand he was not you and you were not him but you are the only thing that remains of him and so I must either build a relationship with you from broken scraps or accept that he is lost forever." They finally turned to look at the pale, stricken human. "My daddy is gone but I am willing to make due with a father if you are."

"Gunter," Father whispered softly, staring into Ice Thing's crystalline eyes. Father may have changed but his eyes were still pale wizard blue and just as sad. He wordlessly opened his arms and Ice Thing -a king and a god but also a parentless child - shuffled forward into his embrace. He was warm. It felt wrong but also strangely right.

"I'm so sorry," Father took a deep steadying breath. "I don't mean to but somehow I end up leaving the people I love behind. I know it must be strange to see me like this but the man I was... I was so miserable and confused and out of control. It took so long to escape from the crown that I kept away from anything reminding me of my old life. I wanted to be my own person outside of his craziness but by doing so I lost my connection to all the good things I had as Ice King and you all were one of my good things." Father pulled back and looked up at them.

"I'll be better. I'll stop by more often and bring treats and generally be more present. I... Daddy promises," he said awkwardly trying to infuse his old self into the words. But the attempt fell flat into the air, sinking like the dust on his father's old life. Ice Thing appreciated it but they had already made peace with their loss. They had watched Father and Marceline circle each other miserably for centuries. That would not be them.

"Thank you, Father," Ice Thing said, gently squeezing his father's delicate human shoulders. "Please take what you'd like from this room but I'm going to leave for you in case you need it. As I said, the Ice Kingdom was once yours and its lights will always be on for you. And if you ever need to talk, let us say I know what it's like to have your loved one changed and gone before your eyes."

"Yes, I suppose you do," Father muttered mostly to himself. "What did I ever do to deserve such kind children?"

"It was how you raised us," Ice Thing responded. They watched as Father took in the room, running his hands over the dust covered objects like they were ancient artifacts to be studied instead of his own belongings. He looked over at the drums hastily shoved into the corner and tapped a knuckle roughly on one of the cymbals which echoed through the room. "Do you still play?"

"I never learned how to play the drums," Father sighed. "Ice King did that all on his own. I never felt a calling to learn the drums but I guess it suited him. I-I think I remember songs, hours and hours of practice and how to hold a beat but I haven't touched them since I changed back. Not sure I really know how anymore."

"You taught me or rather you talked out loud enough as you learned that I picked up the basics. We could play together sometime, like you and Marceline do. Maybe one day we could play as a family." Ice Thing offered. Father smiled at him, sweet but also sad.

"I would love to, honestly but I think I need more time before I'm ready to step back into those shoes again. I'm sorry, Gun- Ice Thing, really I am, but right now it's quite difficult to even stand in this room. I need to be Simon again before I can think about being Ice King." Disappointed but not surprised, Ice Thing led Father out of his former room and towards the stairs to the Past Room with the others.

Father was alive but it was different than before. Ice Thing had no hopes that he would ever return to being Ice Thing's beloved if complicated Daddy. It stung, an ache that reached deep into their icy heart. Father would visit and he would laugh with them and maybe, one day, he would even play the drums with them again. But it would never be the same. It was up to all of them to accept this new reality, for all the good and bad that came with it.

"Let's bring some more snacks down, if Finn doesn't have something to distract himself he's going to cause problems trying to get the car working," Ice Thing commented.

"The car?" Father blinked, "just what do I have down there? I can't even remember."

"I guess we'll find out together."

#adventure time #simon petrikov #ice thing #i cannot BELIEVE I am getting emo over Ice Thing #they have a surprisingly healthy view of the situation and I believe its bc they're crazy old - older than marceline and way less human #but they still lost their daddy bc Ice King may have been a crazy nuisance but Gunter and the rest LOVED him as he was #Simon is back but there is a cost #Gunter and the pengies are def Simon's kids and don't you forget it #Ice Thing/Simon is like Ice King/Marcy and it makes me so sad #also just in general how our relationship with our parents change as we age #we can form new relationships as adults but its not the same as it was #I was talking about something similar to my therapist over how Ive lost my old relationship with my dad and now Im saddddd #Ice Thing just wants his Daddy but Simon has 99 complexes in a trenchcoat he needs to address before he can meet IT halfway #up on AO3 #song is someday never comes by CCR about abandoning fathers

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