#Employer: Crowley

[3lliesan]

Alien Stage x TWST

Speaking of aus, anyone wanna make one of those fics where Yuu/mc gets some of the cast to work on acting in "Alien Stage"?

The promotion is done in a way as if it's the ALIENS who are trying to make the "singing competition" in the series popular, give each song a storyline, promising a 'season 2' of sorts when the competition ends, and let the audience have a look at the characters' lives outside of Alien Stage.

The best part?

The episodes get released periodically after season 1 (round 1-7) ends.

And Yuu may or may not have specified that it's a series they used to have back in their world. They just mentioned that it was something they had back at home.

Imagine Mc, playing Mizi, expressing such raw and genuine emotion at all the loss in her life.

And when some of the people they and mc knows in the show display a similar level of expression, things start going south fast. (Mc gave them tips on acting.)

The moment everyone stops focusing on how good their voices sound and how their voices feel when singing nothing but concerning lyrics is when all hell breaks loose.

And the big joke about Yuu "basically being an alien" brings in a whole new meaning. One that makes people feel guilt, nauseousness, and the need to do anything to make up for it.

[irvinis]

-No!!I left of my own free will. -I do't believe. -But it is so. And.. thanks for sending my clothes. -It was Muriel's idea! I'd rather watch you walk this Road of Shame naked. *the duck finally bites him*

An alternative version, you guessed it. Aziraphale was allowed to have as many earthly things as he needed. He immediately got a cactus named Crowley and a personal mug. And a personal spoon. And a personal tea jar. Perhaps he had become too individualistic for Heaven.

[vampirefunkmetal]

what if i share my charon lore hcs where he's postwar and grew up in a raider neo-cult based in and around the ruins of quantico VA that used scavenged military records to mkultra a militia of child soldiers. what then.

very unfinished wip.... i need to get better at drawing his none-nose but.... charon 🫶🏻 ft mini lone (rosie)

[dalliancekay]

Aziraphale, misogyny and the female character treatment

I don't know if anyone wrote a post about this but I see from time to time comments to this end - that Aziraphale is treated like the female leads in films often are, obviously especially romantic films. So I'm gonna try to point how I see this. I welcome further insights of course.

Say we take a basic premise of a romantic film: A girl is wooed by a bad boy for example. And she is a good girl, from a good, proper family and everything so she refuses his advances. This goes on through his various ploys to entertain and romance her, do things for her etc etc and frustrates us as the audience because we can see the bad boy is actually good, her family is oppressive and holding her back and that she (deep down) cares for him (if only she was brave enough to admit it to herself) and so we want her to open her eyes and say she is actually in love with him cos her life will be so much better should she (finally) give in and run away with him.

Familiar? Reasons Aziraphale is not her and the analogy does not fit (but that I so often see in metas and takes about her):

Aziraphale always knew her family is shit. Or at least longer than Crowley did. She was already anxious in Before the Beginning about what she thought Angel!Crowley could and could not say or do without getting into trouble.

She knows Crowley is good. She never doubted him. Whatever he says or does or pretends to do or must do for his job. Aziraphale knows he's inherently good and would always do good if he can.

She knows she's in love - I mean we can argue about when each realised this and also when each realised the other loves them back just as fiercely, but they both know. And they both love. And they both long to be together. Aziraphale is not ashamed of her feelings nor hiding or suppressing them for fear they are wrong or immoral or other BS like that.

Aziraphale doesn't need to overcome her love for her family/employer and finally make the leap to be with Crowley. They simply can't leave their bosses without punishment. Neither of them. They live in a dictatorship with nowhere to go. And just because Crowley experienced both sides, doesn't give him some huge insight that Aziraphale completely lacks. Both places are awful. Their separation isn’t about fear of societal judgment (or Aziraphale's unwillingness to give up Heaven, being seen as good, being an angel - and to what end, to Fall? I really don't know what takes like this want from her, it would not work anyway), it’s about survival in a system that won’t let them be together.

Aziraphale doesn't want to change Crowley. She never did. She asked for Crowley to come to Heaven as an angel because that was THE ONLY option she had for them to be together in any capacity at that point. It was NOT an attempt to “fix” him—it was a desperate bid for a way they could be together at all.

One thing I don't see as much anymore is the call for Aziraphale to change. Obviously she's pretty but she would be prettier if she lost those century old clothes maybe and started listening to something made after 1950? Be more cool to match Crowley? Less stuffy?

These kind of film premises are already pointless, offensive and make me roll my eyes, but to stick them all over Aziraphale and huff cos she doesn't do what the clever sexy man in dark clothes and sunglasses says she should - well that makes me angry.

And so do takes and mischaracterisations that ignore Aziraphale as silly, her worries as pointless, sometimes excessive - maybe she's just hysterical, you know? The one time she shows more emotion, in F15, she is so often completely ignored in her obvious distress just because Crowley is trying to confess his love at the same time and seemingly 'not getting through,' because Aziraphale is not reacting the way everyone expects. So many takes that always assume Crowley is right, no matter what. Even when he calls Aziraphale an idiot. If Crowley says that, it must be true. No matter that the book spells out in Terry's voice that the angel is extremely clever.

Aziraphale’s charm lies in her kindness, her love for books and knowledge, her whimsy, and her quiet courage. These qualities don’t make her naive—they make her resilient. She often hides how she truly feels, hides her grief, her pain, her true desires, hides what she really thinks; always always to protect herself and her beloved. She is often forced to say stuff she doesn't mean. Again. To keep the one she loves and their fragile relationship safe. But where people seem to catch on with that on Crowley's side, they don't with Aziraphale. She is fierce when pushed and will defend the defenceless (humans) and the ones she loves (Crowley) to her last breath (whether she needs to breathe is irrelevant right now okay).

She loves her bookshop. She built this home, full of knowledge for herself and her demon and you can take this HC from my cold hands. That she was forced to leave it, only emphasises how little choice she had in Final 15. Good Omens has two main, equal characters; who are both gorgeous and complex and deep and neither is right or wrong or in need of saving or learning some huge lesson to get to their goal and be together. What needs to change is the world, the system they live in. And they will change it. P.S. Just to add, many, many (if not all) bad takes on Aziraphale are also bad takes on Crowley. They mischaracterise and misunderstand just how deeply and unconditionally he loves Aziraphale. How he adores her and understands and accepts her just as she is. He does not expect or want Aziraphale to change in any way. He knows why they are not together. And it's not Aziraphale's fault, it's because of circumstances, not because of her choices. Crowley would never ever want Aziraphale to suffer, he wouldn't expect her to come back from Heaven saying how sorry she is for what happened, how stupid and blind she was and how he was always right. That's just not going to happen. ------------------------------------------ @tenok I simply must highlight the awesomeness you put in hashtags!! EVERYBODY please read:

Thank you sm for this!!

[xxcringeizdead666xx]

I. Hate. The “humans” theory.

I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. it. Makes. No. Sence. To me.

Alright. Say Crowley and Aziraphele are turned human. They go back to earth. They get a cottege together. They live a nice, quiet, peaceful life, and then-

oh.oh. Guess we didn’t really think this through, did we?

Their human forms are in their fifties. If we’re being generous and assuming that there is no disease or sudden accidents, they have at most fifty (give or take a few) years.

And THEN-

AND THEN WHAT?!

Since they are human now that means that after they die they go on to the afterlife, which is either HEAVEN or HELL.

Let’s assume that they are both judged as having been amazing people and both get sent to heaven and get eternal happiness or whatever, except NO! No they don’t!!! Because they are in bloody HEAVEN! The place that Crowley, quite famously, isn’t a huge fan of!

Okay, but what if it’s like, the new, reformed version of heaven. Heaven under new management. Say you cut all contact with your family because they used to abuse you. And then, by some miracle, they get therapy and realise how awful they’ve been and they apologise ask you to come live with them in their house again. Would you? Would you go back to the place you were heavily mistreated even if things have changed? Would you want to exist in the same walls you used to be pushed against? Or maybe lets picture a former workplace that go you unjustly fired and then told any future potential employers that you were a shitty employee, even though you weren’t, but they’re mean and powerful so they do whatever including ruining your life. Would you go back if they got a new manager?

And that’s one option. The other is they are once again separated. Do I even need to explain myself?

Okay, let’s toss that whole confusing mess aside for a second.

A human’s life to them is like a bug’s life to us. Now imagine you suddenly had the lifespan of a bug left to live. Imagine two immortal creatures who has existed for over 6000 years. seance before time was a thing! They watched humanity evolve. And through all of that, they were the one thing that didn’t change. They were always there. They saw change, new inventions, They saw empires rise and fall! And then imagine theses immortal creatures having their life cut off to that of a regular mortal. Yes, they have time, but they have so little of it! Every moment will now be a reminder that the hourglass is slowly but surely running out. They won’t see what the next century has to offer. They will never now what next step humanity takes. They will grow old and sick and their bodies will fail and is that really a happily ever after?

And you know what could fix all of those problems I just listed? Leaving them alone! Let them stay an angel and a demon. Let them keep their powers, and most importantly, their immortality. The show has literally proven that this can be done quite successfully!!! Just do what you did last time!!

Anyways, sorry for the long rant and harsh language. I have some very strong opinions. I am HOPING that this is not the route they choose to take in the 3 “season”. If they do, ….. I don’t know what I’ll do but I’ll be very very disappointed with everyone involved.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

A 'mysterious source' just told me that while heaven and hell suck, he'd die if he were crowley or aziraphale's employer and. like. That's so true?

Beelzebub: We don't have ze bezt reputation az employerz here in hell.

Beelzebub: But you try dealing with ze demon Crowley for a day.

[at admin]

Dagon: It says here you saved a bunny from being eaten.

Crowley: Hngk, well, no. I robbed a poor stray dog of its meal.

Dagon: Tell me you didn't then buy the stray dog food.

Crowley:

Dagon: Did you adopt the stray dog?

Crowley: ...if Demidemon barks, the neighbours can't sleep. They will then... uh, murder each other in their... senseless rage.

Dagon *face in hands*: Was God damning you or us when you fell?

[aziraphales-library]

Lost Fic #312

1. I’m looking for this fanfic. I don’t remember much about it but it was a very short one that I read years ago. Here are the two thing I remember: 1. Aziraphale and Crowley cuddling on either a couch or a tiny bed in the bookshop that can barely accommodate both of them but Crowley doesn’t mind. 2. Aziraphale keeps promising Crowley that he’s going to get a better (or bigger) bed but he keeps procrastinating. 3. The fic ends with a line that ends with the sentiment "Aziraphale could be slow, but he always kept his word". I think it may be explicit or mature but I’m not 100% sure. I’ll be forever grateful if we can find it 😭 - anon

2. Hi! I'm looking for a fic where Crowley and God are siblings and Crowley had his own "test garden" dimension in heaven where he created things like dragons and unicorns and stuff and his true form is actually a dragon, and he has his own army in heaven that still answers to him only and there is another war between the archangels on one side and God and Crowley on the other with Aziraphale as Crowleys soul mate. And I'm pretty sure it was a "Crowley was Raphael" story. And I'm pretty sure God and Crowley were a single entity before the beginning in this fic. And I can't find it anymore - @zanylawyerdeanbakery

3. Hello, so happy to have just found you! What a wonderful service you're providing, thank you! I'm looking for a specific fic, (it might've still been a WIP?), but I feel fairly certain it has disappeared/ been taken down. I hope you can prove me wrong! Rated E, human Sex Workers fic, both Aziraphale and Crowley work at a brothel each with their own assigned room they work in. They fall for each other, but the employer doesn't allow coworkers to date. The one chapter I vividly remember that sets this apart from similar fics was that a client books a threesome, and wants those two. I think the client asks to watch A&C undress each other (though that tidbit might be from a different one, not positive). Ultimately, they have the client on all 4's between them, I think Crowley is giving him anal from behind, client is giving oral to Aziraphale. Meanwhile A & C are making major eyes at each other and it's like a sex-by-proxy thing happening. After the client leaves the room, they're in dressing gowns, and they finally give in to their overwhelming attraction and kiss each other. For a very very long time (because kissing isn't allowed w/ clients and they both find it's the thing they crave the most). (This part I might be confusing with another fic, but they might also be neighbors? And they each have teenage kids. I think Adam is Crowley's little brother or adopted kid, and Pepper is Aziraphale's sister's kid who he lives with, something like that. The kids' friendship gives A&C some plausible deniability to hang out.) If you're able to find it, I'll be so grateful! (My AO3 search skills leave much to be desired!) Whether you find it or not, or answer this or not, I hope you all have a very lovely day! <3 - @laudaddysmitten

4. Hi! Im looking for a fic I read in 2023(?), I don't remember much but i know: It's set during season 2. Beelzebub is more honest with Crowley when asking about Gabriel. It's in Crowleys POV and basically a more in-depth fic about Crowleys and Aziraphales reaction to ineffable bureaucracy/boxfly. I feel like I'm going insane trying to find this, so thank you in advance! :)) - @bru1sed-apple

5. Hellooo! First I want to thank everyone here for this account, seriously, it's a blessing! Secondly, I've been looking for a fic I read, probably about a year ago but I can't seem to find it but I also don't remember a whole lot about it. It's similar to (I'd rather be) in the palm of your hand, which I read around the same time. All I remember is that Crowley made webcam videos, but I'm pretty sure that this one was a human AU because what I remember from the entire thing is that after the video was filmed, Crowley went on to take some pictures for later when everything was "still fresh" and he didn't have to fake it with coconut oil. I know that's really not a lot of information but that's all I can remember for some reason. Thank you so much in advance! - @flerken-is-not-a-cat

If you know any of these fics please include the number in your reply! Thank you :)

- Mod D

[twstyuna]

You know with Ghosts being a thing in Twisted Wonderland. If Yuu actually dies in the Mines as some fics have happen, their spirit might follow Ace + Deuce + Grim back to NRC and the plot might still happen just with Yuu as a Ghost.

By agreeing to be the school's handyman, Yuu has a contract with Crowley the way the Ramshackle Ghosts do (in my head I'm sure they have some kind of employment contract. I believe canonically they patrol the school?).

Would be fun if Ace + Deuce + Grim never talk about the Mines because Yuu doesn't realize they're dead yet.

Edit: I caved

[married-to-google-translater]

Hey, i have a little request....

I WOULD TAKE ANYTHING. ANYTHING OF ANY TWST OR SERAPH OF THE END CHARACTERS WITH A MALE READER THAT CAN AND WILL KICK YOUR ASS.

(I can't find any male reader that can fight, that is driving me insane i swear)

This is for Mikaela Hyakuya and Crowely Eusford.

Mikaela Hyakuya

You would probably be Mikaela's childhood friend.

This would be the only way Mikaela would care about you later.

You grew up together with him and Yuichiro.

You were younger than him by a couple of years.

Mikaela would treat you like a younger sibling.

Everything would be fine considering the situation.

However, everything would change when you and Yuichiro managed to escape.

Mikaela would not give up hope of finding you.

He would find you and Yuichiro and then you could be a happy family.

Mikaela would swear so.

However, the next time he would face you on the battlefield.

Many many many years later.

However, you two recognized each other.

Mikaela would have seen how powerful you would have become.

But it doesn't matter :D

You're still human.

humans are weak.

Mr. border canon yandere wants keep you safe.

Crowley Eusford

You were one of the vampires.

You became acquainted with Crowley centuries ago.

Crowley really liked you.

This would be rare...

Crowley noticed very quickly how good a fighter you were.

He would like to practice with you often.

And usually the matches were fun.

Unlike with another sadistic vampire.

Cough cough Ferid cough cough.

Ferid simps don't kill me plz

Wins would be evenly distributed.

Crewle would like you to teach him your technique.

In return, he would also teach you.

You will spend a lot of time together.

You often get into fights with people.

After them, Crewel would always come to make sure you were okay.

You do the same with him.

He would have offered you an employment contract.

However, you kindly declined.

It wasn't for you even if you like Crewel

[burnttongueontea]

I have this line in one of my fics about Aziraphale's 'company-owned human heart' that has been on my mind recently.

Because for me personally this is the number one plot hole at the end of the book/S1, and actually one of the best justifications for why more story was needed: the corporations.

It's established so many times, and is so key to several plot points, that Aziraphale and Crowley need to borrow a body to be on Earth and that Heaven/Hell have control over their access to this resource.

That's why the narrative stakes are still high for them in 'risk to life' situations, even though they're technically immortal. It's why Aziraphale has to possess Madam Tracy to be able to get back to Earth and help stop Armageddon. It's why Crowley gets stuck in Hell for decades (and possibly tortured) after he takes the laudanum. (It's also the reason Heaven feel entitled to keep up a running invasive commentary on what Aziraphale chooses to 'ingest'.)

In the original ending, Aziraphale's 'no body' problem is sorted out by Adam who gives him a new one, and then off they go to their happily ever after at the Ritz. But... this doesn't address the fact that Aziraphale and Crowley are still able to be 'killed', in which case (with Adam now a normal kid) they would be totally dependent on their antagonistic employers to get back to Earth. In a fantasy universe where so many things are handwavey or determined by 'rule of funny', this is one of the few story rules that is actually pretty clear and consistent.

It's also, imo, quietly a tragedy for Aziraphale and Crowley. Not just because of the risk of getting discorporated (which is at least theoretically avoidable). They experience Earth via their corporations; everything about who they are is now defined by the lives they have led in human bodies; and those bodies belong to someone else. This is a problem that touches absolutely everything they care about. Especially now that they have realised they want their relationship to be human in a way that Beelzebub and Gabriel don't. What does it mean to communicate love body to body, express love as a thing of the body, if that body is effectively a bit of equipment on loan to you from the office?

Their happily ever after can't be complete, I don't think, until they have more ownership over themselves on this front. And that can only be achieved by a waaaaaaay more drastic rearrangement of the status quo than what we got in the resolution of the Antichrist plot.

[da-birb-writes-sometimes]

One of Us is Guilty; Prologue

Eight people, nine rooms, seven weapons. One person is guilty, and until they are found, no one is safe; from the perpetrator of the crime, or of being accused.

Characters; Vil Schoenheit, Divus Crewel, Rook Hunt, Azul Ashengroto, Silver, Jade Leech, Cater Diamond

Content; Gender-neutral reader, unreliable narrators

Content Warning; Death (not described), murder (not described)

Word Count; 1.3 K (includes guide on how to participate at the end)

Find this content triggering but still want to participate? Go to this Google Form! <- form is now closed, thank you to the people who voted!

As a reminder, do not put my work — or others for that matter — into AI as it steals. Link to Masterlist

| Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Epilogue (Part 1) | Epilogue (Final)

You were making your way down the main flight of stairs, ready to go crawl into your bed after the long day.

“Attention! Attention!” Crowley’s voice echoed over the PA system, still annoyingly chipper despite the late hour. What was he even still doing here? “Due to the weather, all remaining staff and students are under orders to stay inside the building until morning!” And the PA system cut out.

You groaned, “Seriously? It can’t be that bad–” A loud crack of thunder sounded directly above the building, causing the chandelier to shake. “Okay then,” you huffed, plopping down on the stairs, “I get the message.”

Of course, you would get stuck here for the night, guess that’s what happens when you stay back to study and work on assignments.

But you weren’t the only person stuck in the desolate halls of Night Raven College; seven others were in the same boat as you.

…

Vil was in the lecture theatre, reviewing his notes for the upcoming performance that the Film Research Club would be putting on next week. He too heard Crowley’s announcement and pushed his hair back, massaging his temple. He would not be getting a good night’s rest tonight.

“Tch, no use lamenting over it,��� he sighed to himself. Carefully, he put the notes and suggestions away in their designated folder, and he made his way to the main hall. If anyone was still here with him, they might be there; at least he would have some company for the night, and not be alone in the empty hallways.

…

Professor Crewel was grading papers in the teacher’s lounge, and getting a migraine from it as well. “Have those pups learned nothing from me,” he grumbled.

He would much rather be at home in his finest pyjamas, scratching the chins of his dogs, but no, he was stuck here, and would be stuck until the storm passed or Headmaster Crowley got back on the PA system saying it was safe to leave. But knowing his employer, the man had transported himself home, leaving everyone stuck at the college oblivious.

I ought to wring his neck if he did.

…

Rook was in the library, perusing through various books, just looking for something to pass the time. He knew earlier that day that a storm was brewing, he could tell by the clouds and the faint smell wafting on the breeze. He also knew that Vil would be staying late, and he wasn’t going to leave Roi de Poison alone.

After going down a few aisles, Rook finally found a book to his liking. “Hmm, this is new. Ah, how interesting!” Tucking the book under his arm, Rook made his way to the lecture theatre, as that was where he had last seen Vil.

Perhaps un meurtre mystère would make for a good plot for a future performance?

…

Silver had fallen asleep in the cafeteria, apparently he had slept for most of the day. He had only woken up because of Crowley’s voice echoing loudly in the large, empty room.

Did they not notice? Silver rubbed his eyes and yawned. If he was here, there was a possibility of others also finding themselves stuck in the school for the night. The least he could do was make sure others were staying calm, and staying safe. Even outside of his duties he was ever still the protector, and far too kind.

“Hopefully no one got hurt…” he murmured to himself. There was something off, a dark presence of sorts, and it wasn’t just the dark clouds hurling down rain, hail, and lightning outside.

Something doesn’t feel right…

…

Azul was in the alchemy lab, perfecting the most complicated potion that was in his textbook; he had a reputation to upkeep after all, and didn’t want anyone usurping his rank at the top of the class.

There, I just need to add some belladonna and— the suddenness of Crowley’s overly loud voice coming over the PA system caused Azul to add too much, and the potion evaporated. Azul gritted his teeth, but took a step back. Perhaps a walk would help calm him down… he was going to have to replace all of those ingredients tomorrow…

“So close,” he hissed, and he started making his way down the hall, still muttering to himself.

…

Jade was washing the dirt from his hands, having just come back from checking on his fungi in the botanical gardens. He already knew before Crowley made his little announcement that he would be spending the night, which didn’t bother him all that much. Perhaps he could see what was in the kitchen, since he did have that new dish which looked and sounded to be divine.

But that could wait, Azul was most likely still working on that potion of his, and knowing the house warden, he had fumbled with the ingredients at the sudden noise and probably sulking… and Jade could use some amusement at the moment, and a sulking and slightly peeved Azul would do the trick.

…

Cater was in the kitchen, retrieving something for Trey since they were all out in the Heartslabyul kitchen. Of course it was something sweet, but Cater would rather be here than see the outcome of the freshmans’ antics. Sorry freshies, you’re on your own!

But now he was stuck here for the night, and having nothing better to do, and boredom starting to creep in, Cater brought out his phone and started recording. 

“It’s Cay-kun here!~” He gave a peace sign to the camera and stuck out his tongue. “Let’s see who we can find!” And he started chatting to the camera and walking towards the main hall.

…

…

Eventually, everyone had made their way to the main hall; you, Silver, Vil, Professor Crewel, Rook, Azul, Jade, and Cater. But there was no sign of Headmaster Crowley.

“Have any of you pups seen the Headmaster,” Divus asked, turning up a brow, and looked at his students with suspicion.

Everyone shook their head no. Divus sighed, and turned around the corner, in the direction of the Headmaster’s office, but he stopped in his tracks.

Curious, you looked to where Professor Crewel was staring; lying in the middle of the floor was Crowley, and he wasn’t breathing.

Dire Crowley was dead, murdered. And everyone was a suspect, including you.

About this Event

That's right folks, a classic murder mystery in the style of the board game Clue and some inspiration from the book And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie.

At the beginning and end of each part, I will be including a link to a Google Form where people can vote for who they think is the murderer, what room the murder took place in, and the weapon that was used. There's also an optional question where you can explain your answer, just do know that everything was randomly chosen by a spinner.

The form will be active for at least 72 hours; it may go on for longer if I'm busy. A new form will be added with each part, just with the suspect, room, & weapon that was voted in the last part being removed if they were incorrect... and may take some inspo from the book I mentioned.~

In future parts there will be dark content, as this is a murder mystery; all of the content warnings will be included at the beginning, and also tagged (ie. cw death). Because of this, I will not be tagging people in future parts just as a precaution.

Now, let the investigation begin!

Link to Google Form

Suspects:

- Silver; the kindhearted knight with a mysterious past, is it just for show?  (Plum) - Vil Schoenheit; the actor who is always pigeonholed into the role of a villain (Scarlet) - Divus Crewel; the alchemy teacher with a penchant for fashion, Crowley's co-worker (Peacock) - Rook Hunt; the enigmatic hunter who always has a hunch of what's happening (Mustard) - Azul Ashengrotto; the owner of The Mostro Lounge, a businessman with dubious morals (Green) - Reader; the 'house-keeper', a role that was imposed on them by the late Headmage (White) - Jade Leech; a student enamored by fungi and seems to have a foreboding presence about him (Orchid) - Cater Diamond; the preppy beau of Heartslabyul, but his smile seems forced (Peach)

Rooms:

- Main hall - Teachers' lounge - Cafeteria - Kitchens - Lecture theatre - Botanical garden - Alchemy lab - Library - Crowley's office

Weapons:

- Revolver - Rope - Dagger - Wrench - Candlestick - Lead pipe - Magic

...

Tags; @afunkyfreshblog, @aqua-beam, @azulashengrottospiano, @eynnwwyjth, @hisui-dreamer, @hydra-sea, @identity-theft-101, @inkybloom-luv, @ithseem, @krenenbaker, @leonistic, @lucid-stories, @officialdaydreamer00, @ryker-writes, @savanaclaw1996, @silvers-numberonefan, @twistwonderlanddevotee, @xxoomiii

[otakusheep15]

Flufftober Day 30 - Dance

Content includes: Crowley x reader, reader is a teacher at NRC, reader is described as a wallflower, Crowley has (very obvious) feelings for the reader, reader’s feelings are left somewhat ambiguous, Crowley as a general warning

It’s officially that time of year again: NRC’s annual dance. Every year since the school’s conception, a dance has been held for both students and outsiders alike. Any and all are welcome to attend.

As a teacher, you’re required to attend as a chaperone. Dances, and parties in general, are not particularly your scene, but this one is fun. You’ve been teaching for a few years now, and you always have a good time at this event.

And, of course, a good time for you is awkwardly standing against the wall as you watch over the students.

This is what you do every year, and you intend to keep it that way. Most of the faculty tends to do the same, although some of the more extroverted members of staff tend to find their way into the crowd.

For right now, you’re on your own, and you have the occasional small chat with whoever passes you by. It’s calm and peaceful, just the way you like it.

Until it’s not.

Crowley approaches you, sliding up to stand next to you. You can already tell he wants something based on the look he has on his face. Or, at least the bottom half of his face. Even at a party, he always has that mask on.

“Well hello there. Are you enjoying the party? Aren’t I just so generous to have upped the budget this year?”

By upping the budget, Crowley means the lukewarm punch you’re currently drinking. Lately, guests have been complaining about the lack of food and drinks provided at the party, and some of the more important guests (namely, donors to the school) have threatened to stop attending. Thus, Crowley made the executive decision to provide snacks.

You nod at his question, sipping at your drink so that you don’t have to verbally respond. Naturally, you’re happy to have something to snack on as you partake in your people watching, but you wouldn’t classify them as being ‘good’ snacks.

“Of course you agree. I only provide the best for my esteemed guests.”

He’s stalling. You can tell something’s up, even if you can’t tell what. Crowley always gets rambly like this when he has something on his mind. It’s not like you meant to learn his mannerisms, but you’ve been around him for years now, and he’s not exactly difficult to read.

Instead of building the tension, you decide to cut him some slack, asking him what’s bothering him.

“Wh-what? Whatever could you possibly be talking about? I’m not bothered at all. In fact, I would say I’m quite swell considering how the party is going.”

Oh yeah, something is definitely up. If he wasn’t your employer, you would just tell him to cut the crap and spill what’s on his mind. However, he is your employer, which means you should probably say it with more tact.

You down the remainder of your drink, suddenly wishing it were a little stronger. Then, you look him in the eyes (mask?) and ask him if he’s sure everything is okay.

“Fine, I suppose I’ll come clean, since I’m so generous and all.”

His words almost make you reconsider, but something about the way his mood shifts keeps you where you’re at. He almost looks… vulnerable all of a sudden.

“To tell you the truth, my concerns lie with you. Not in a bad way! Don’t get the wrong idea.”

You nearly have a heart attack, but you’re glad he clarified quickly. What did you do to concern him so much?

“I… well, I was hoping to maybe… ask you to dance? In a strictly professional way, of course! I just noticed how you’re always on the sidelines during the dance every year, and I figured you were lonely. How generous am I, to offer a dance to someone like yourself?”

Any sympathy you had for him vanishes in an instant. You would have said yes if not for what he said at the end there. Why must he always ruin everything by making it like this?

He awkwardly laughs, and you can tell he knows that he messed up. You stare at him, giving him a displeased look, and that causes him to wilt a bit.

“I apologize for that. I’m sure you already guessed, but I was rather nervous to ask you. Alas, even with how charismatic I am, even I have my weak points.”

That gets a small laugh out of you. Your boss is so strange. You then look at him, less upset this time. In fact, your look could almost be considered a fond one.

Instead of a verbal answer, you reach your hand out, a silent gesture. He takes a moment, obviously not expecting you to say yes. Then, he smiles and takes your hand.

He guides you to the dance floor, and you can immediately tell that people are watching you. It’s embarrassing, especially since you’re not much of a dancer. Still, you’re able to push those thoughts aside, instead focusing on the man in front of you.

This is certainly not where you expected your night to end up. But, as Crowley expertly leads you across the floor in a dance, you can’t exactly mind.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hmm I wonder if Crowley and the school staff, Riddle, Dence, Ruggie, Azul, Jamil, Epel, Rook, Idia, Malleus, Sliver and Sebek found out that some certain people skipped the school and went to the amusement park? Also how would they react?

I’d imagine they'd mostly have the pretty normal and expected initial reaction of being shocked that the others snuck out on a school night to a sketchy theme park and managed to come back from a human trafficking operation in one piece. To give a little more detail to each:

Riddle would collar Trey, Cater, and Ace, then lecture them for breaking various school rules, putting themselves in danger, disobeying his command to not sneak out and skip school, etc. He especially lays into the seniors for "not setting a proper example" for the Heartslabyul students.

Deuce awkwardly stands off to the side and watches as they get berated, occasionally nodding and going, "That's right!" in response to their dorm leader. (Ace gets annoyed and tells Deuce off, probably saying something like, "Don't act like YOU weren't interested in going earlier, dummy!")

Ruggie wails about how he would've enjoyed hanging out at a place that offers free everything. He makes jokes to cope with the situation, like poking fun at how the "straight-laced" Jack has a rebellious streak and how Leona's soooo responsible and selfless for chasing after his juniors. Ruggie also jokes about how he's glad his walking wallet "best" employer Leona-san made it back safely... and hey, he wouldn't have happened to have brought back a souvenir for his ever-so loyal hench-hyena, would he?

Azul tries to present as cool and uncaring to the twins; he tells them that if they fucked up and lost their autonomy because of their poor decisions and giving into their curiosity... well, that's their bad and they deserve the consequences of their actions. Jade and Floyd pal around with him, draping themselves over his shoulders and teasing him about how "It's okaaay, just admit that you missed us, admit that you were worried!" Deep down, Azul really was (but he'll never say that out loud and let the twins have an upper hand over him).

Jamil has a fucking heart attack knowing just how close he was to a dead and/or missing Kalim. Not because he cares or anything, but because his own ass would be grass if anything happened to Kalim. Jamil looks him over like five times to make sure not a hair on his head is harmed (all while Kalim is laughing, reassuring Jamil that he's fine, and telling him stories about all the fun times he had at Playful Land). When Kalim starts to suggest inviting Fellow and Gidel to their next banquet, Jamil silences him with a firm, "ABSOLUTELY NOT!!"

Rook waxes poetic about how he's so relieved that their beautiful Vil has returned to them. He'll faithfully fetch Vil whatever he needs to rest and recover from such a heart-pounding adventure!

Epel grumbles about how he wishes he could have gone too ("'N shown those puppets what fer!!"), only to get bonked and told off by his dorm leader. (Ace will tell him stories later, which makes Epel super envious.)

Idia tells Ortho that "touching grass" does them no good, it only brings misery and suffering like what he went through at Playful Land! The worry dies down and is replaced with keen interest the more Ortho tells him about the island's operations. They have a jammer that prevented Ortho's normal functions from working? Idia takes it as a personal challenge--who do they think they are, trying to trump this genius inventor? He'll show them what he's made of by powering up his little brother!

Sebek loudly insists they need to go and dismantle the shadowy organization responsible for attempting something so foolish as to entrap and sell THE Lilia Vanrouge off! Who do they think they are?! Man's absolutely appalled and enraged but also choking back tears at what he perceives is Lilia's nobility, so willing to throw himself into the heat of battle to save others!! Sebek tells Ace he should be "grateful" that Lilia saw it fit to save "such a pathetic lot of humans" from absolute destruction.

Silver frets over his father, but he's ultimately proud of him for acting the role of a reliable senpai and looking out for his underclassmen. (This is the reason he assumes for Lilia going to the shady park.) And, of course, he's glad to have his father back home with him. He insists on looking after him the day of his return, saying that Lilia has gone through a lot lately--and as the triumphant hero, he deserves to relax!

Malleus isn't worried about Lilia (he knows that Lilia can handle himself just fine) so much as he's disappointed that he wasn't invited to go along. He's curious about all that Lilia experienced in Playful Land and listens to his tales with wide eyes. Malleus is not really paying attention to the dangers present (after all, he is confident he could blow it all away if it dares to encroach on his autonomy). Lilia laughs and says they should take a trip to another amusement park sometime.

The staff would be collectively sad that their students would act out like they have. This is especially true of Trein, who is more disappointed than mad. He chastises the boys in a way that makes you feel bad for making like... a grandfather upset. He wonders if he has somehow mentored his students incorrectly or instilled the wrong values in them.

Crewel expresses his disappointment in a different way. He's harsher with his students: "Since you bad boys thought it fit to skip Crewel-sama's lecture, you must have already mastered the materials. Pencils out for a pop quiz!" That's his tough love out on full display, stemming from the desire to ensure that his students can survive on their own out there in the cruel wide world.

Vargas tries to not linger on the negative feelings for too long. He'll encourage the boys to get back on their feet and moving. Movement means more blood circulation, and less of a reminder of the stiff puppets the kids almost turned out to be. Vargas never vocalizes his intentions for fear that him having a negative outlook might influence his students. So instead, he wears a grin and belts out a hearty laugh to keep their spirits high.

Sam will listen to his customers' woes, just as any good shopkeep would! There's a lot of useful information to pick apart from the people who drift in. A strange business like Playful Land? It piques Sam's interest in the mysterious and the unknown--he's delighted with such fantastical tales, and invites his customers to tell more. Sam's always here to lend an ear! And hey, if you get thirsty from all the gabbing, why not buy a drink from the Mystery Shop since you're already there? :)

Crowley wipes his brow and sighs in relief... What could have been a massive PR nightmare was just narrowly avoided!! (He still crows at the students that snuck off though, since he's suuuuuch a caring instructor that deeply cares about their education!!)

[nofomogirl]

The case of a homeless demon and an angel who kept his cosy place

I was reading stories of women trapped in toxic marriages the other day and a lightbulb went off in my brain. A common theme was how much financial dependency contributed to their shitty situations, and pretty much every one of them advised other women to make sure they have some resources of their own, something to fall back onto.

So, Good Omens. Because obviously, all the roads in my brain lead to Good Omens.

A lot has been written about Crowley living in his car in S2 while Aziraphale still happily resides in his bookshop but I think we've all been distracted by how it factors into their relationship with each other and failed to examine what it tells us about their relationships with their respective abusers - Heaven and Hell.

Why did Crowley lose his flat and literally end up on a street? Because the flat was Hell's property. As soon as Crowley stopped being in Hell's active employment, the flat was taken from him and given to his replacement - Shax.

Why did Aziraphale keep his bookshop? Obviously not because Heaven is nicer. No, it's because the bookshop was actually his. He acquired it entirely on his own and almost entirely the human way. Heaven didn't have any obvious claim on it.

Can we please talk about it?

Can we please talk about how it's Aziraphale, supposedly the one brainwashed by Heaven into obedience, who builds himself a safety net over the centuries? And how Crowley, the one who boldly claims to be on his own side for millennia, and seems to be so independent, suddenly ends up with very little of his own as soon as his ties with Hell are (partly) severed?

Can we please talk about what it tells us about how they deal with threats and danger?

Please?

[thegoldencontracts]

Every Unethical Act Azul Has Committed (And Why None Of Them Were Actually Illegal)

We don't even need this list. I know, I know. But it was funny.

Notes: This may seem a bit redundant but clarification, discourse, and the like are always welcome! I'm not a lawyer, so please tell me if I've made any errors.

Slavery- It's legal based on some very specific technicalities that I will go into if you ask - Basically, it's boiled down to he likely can claim this as an employment agreement with a TRAP clause which is unethical but still technically legal. There's been some movements to make it illegal but none have been fruitful yet (not in the US, at least).

Child Labor and Contracts With Minors - The way he went about it is unethical, yes, but this is legal because 1. They were above the legal working age in most states 2. Crowley seems to have agreed to the Mostro Lounge's work and approved their hours and 3. Contracts signed by minors aren't automatically voided, they simply have an option to be voided with parental approval.

Possession of Property - He rendered the main character homeless, which is deeply unethical, but once again, not illegal. They signed the contract agreeing to give him their home, and he didn't actively threaten them. Crowley could be held liable for child neglect, but Azul's hands are (legally but definitely not ethically) scot-free.

Assault - We've never actually received canon proof that Azul attempts murder. Though other Overblotters are shown doing so, Azul hasn't. Also, the reason we stop the overblotters is for their own safety -they'll die if he don't. His true Unique Magic could still count as assault, though. Here, his defense is automastim, though whether it'd be classified as insane or sane I'm not quite sure.

Blackmail - Wording. Wording is everything. Blackmail is a crime, but Azul's wording makes it so he isn't technically blackmailing anyone.

Bribery - See previous section.

Solicitation - When Azul sends out the twins to harass clients. Wording is once again key here. Azul sent them out, by technicality, to 'assist' in dealing with clients. Add onto this that Jade doesn't usually do much in terms of physical harm and suddenly - Would you look at that? Floyd just happened to harm the client. Look at him, so short-tempered. Tsk. He's the only one with legal issues here, not Azul and Jade! (Side-Note: F in the chat for Floyd)

None of this is meant to woobify Azul. In fact, I believe this serves as a testament to his skill with loopholes <3

[juno-of-wonderland]

Yuu works at the darling cafe trying to work off the debt Crowley got and gets suspiciously invited to other dorms a lot

Confident regulars:

Ace, Riddle, Floyd, Jade, Leona, Malleus, Skully, Cater, Trey, Ruggie, Vil, Rook (both), Kalim, Lila, Crewel, Sam

Anonymous bidders for ownership:

Rollo, Idia, Azul, Deuce, Jack, Rook, epel, Jamil, Sebek, Silver, Crowley,

Confident Regulars tend to assume you’d go with them if they won or not, cuddling up with you and renting private rooms to fake a domestic life / courting

Anonymous Bidders are a bit more shy, hoping they can quietly pay your employer off to get what he wants to prevent the others from harassing him.

Reader: CROWLEY YOUR- *see handsome men* hello! what can I do for you? them: take off your clothes reader:…what?

so we have some protectors? owwwwww