#FandomHumor

[noobiestnoober]

Cringe and Command (Wesker's Assistant Chronicles)

You’re Albert Wesker's assistant. Unfortunately for him, you refuse to take his villain speeches seriously. Even worse? You keep calling them cringe. He tries to fire you. Repeatedly. But somehow, you're still on payroll. Honestly, he might need therapy more than world domination.

"The world shall kneel before my new order," Wesker intoned, voice dripping with menace as red warning lights blinked around the lab, painting his cheekbones in dramatic crimson shadows.

You rolled your eyes from your spinning chair in the corner. "That line sounds like a villain wrote it after binge-watching bad anime dubs. Cringe."

Wesker froze mid-speech like someone had unplugged him. "Excuse me?"

You sipped from your Umbrella-logo mug. "I'm just saying, if you want people to actually kneel, you might wanna update your material. Maybe something less ‘theatre kid turned fascist.’"

His jaw flexed. "You're fired."

"Cool. I'll pack after I finish fixing your disaster of a PowerPoint presentation. Seriously, slide three transitions simulate a car chase. Did you mean to make it look like a Michael Bay film?"

Wesker glared, his sunglasses somehow reflecting your judgmental stare even though you were indoors. You glared back, wholly unimpressed. The red lights continued to blink like a rave for evil plans, unnoticed by both of you.

Day 34

Wesker tried to fire you again after you brought cupcakes to a top-secret Umbrella executive meeting and insisted everyone sing happy birthday to Nemesis.

"You are the worst assistant I've ever had," he snapped, lips twitching like he was trying not to scream.

"Nemesis deserves joy, Albert," you replied calmly, placing a party hat on a bio-organic weapon—roughly eight feet tall with a permanent snarl—that blinked once in confused gratitude.

He rubbed his temple. "I created life to destroy the world, not to… wear sprinkle cupcakes as hats."

You looked him dead in the eye. "Sounds like a you problem."

Day 46

You changed the lab’s background music to Barbie Girl during a viral sample test. Wesker entered the room to find you and Mr. X doing a synchronized head bop.

"Do I even want to know?"

"Team morale, sir."

He tried to fire you. You printed the HR handbook in Comic Sans and highlighted the clause where he couldn’t actually terminate staff without written approval from Umbrella HQ.

Day 58

You changed his password to "ILoveCringe69" and left a sticky note that said, "World domination is temporary. Memes are forever."

Wesker stared at the screen like it had personally betrayed him. He fired you via email this time. You replied with a meme of a raccoon giving a thumbs-up, captioned: "Mood."

Day 73

He returned to his office to find a slideshow titled "Top 10 Times Wesker Tried to Monologue and I Laughed."

"Number 4 was during a hostage situation!" he shouted.

"Exactly. Peak comedy."

"Get out."

You reached for your bag. "Do I take the laser pointer or...?"

He screamed into his glove.

Day 100

He gave up.

"Why are you still here?"

"Because no one else knows how to rewire the coffee machine without setting the lab on fire. Plus, I'm the only one who can decipher your handwriting. Is that 'Destroy the Resistance' or 'Dessert Inventory'?"

He stared at you. You stared back. Somewhere in the distance, a B.O.W. dropped a beaker. No one moved.

"...Fine. But no more cupcakes."

"Deal."

(You still brought cupcakes. With little Umbrella logos on top. Nemesis ate six. Wesker stared at the crumbs and muttered, "At this point, resistance is futile.")

If you want to see more of Wesker's Assistant Chaos, take a look at Part 2

> HERE <

[cookierunkingdomart]

talk about an explosive cameo! 😂🎬

[athenanfaymont]

🎉 Happy Dick Day: A Celebration of Gotham's Favorite 🍆

April 6th is officially the Day of the Penis.

So naturally, we—the Batfam enthusiasts, the Grayson Nation, the Nightwing scholars—gather in reverence to honor our Dick.

Yes. That Dick. Richard John Grayson. The first Robin. The original Boy Wonder. The man with the most iconic ass in comics and a name that writes its own jokes. 🦸‍♂️💦

Look, we could use today to talk about biology, reproductive health, awareness and all that important stuff (please do!), but in this little corner of fandom? It’s about celebrating the man who turned being called Dick into a symbol of agility, compassion, leadership, and thiccness.

Let’s talk facts:

🥇 He’s Batman’s first success story. 🍑 He’s canonically hot. Like, universally acknowledged hot. 🛏️ In most timelines, everyone wants to sleep with him. Including but not limited to: Kori, Babs, Helena, Wally, even a couple of villains — Slade 👀 — and aliens. 🩳 He’s been objectified in-universe more times than we can count. (Looking at you, Blüdhaven.) 👀 He jumps, flips, kicks, and quips while maintaining peak fanservice.

But it’s not just about the visuals. Dick Grayson is the heart of the Batfamily, the bridge between light and shadow. The one who saw Bruce's darkness and chose to still laugh, still love, still lead. The Dick that healed Gotham not with fear, but with empathy. The Dick we all deserve.

So yes, today is the Day of the Penis. But more importantly… it’s another day for Dick appreciation.

✨ Long live the king of flips, thighs, and emotional maturity. ✨ Happy Dick Day, everyone. Go read a Nightwing comic. Or five.

🧠 And a friendly PSA: Use a condom to keep it safe. Now we know that many cancers come from viruses—many of them transmitted via STIs. Safe Dick is happy Dick.

[Scott McDaniel]

[teonatsu-kathy]

Marauders' Muggle Movie Night! 🍿🎬

If the Marauders somehow got their hands on a Muggle projector and had a movie night at Hogwarts:

James: Would talk over the entire movie, narrating what's happening.

Sirius: Would loudly predict every plot twist, usually correctly, then complain if they weren't dramatic enough.

Remus: Would be the only one actually paying attention, taking mental notes on Muggle culture.

Peter: Would fall asleep halfway through, covered in popcorn.

Movie Choice: Definitely a ridiculously over-the-top action film or a classic adventure.

[ficfanofficial]

April 1st is Coming… Are You Ready?

Fanfic lovers, assemble! This April Fool’s, we’re dropping ridiculously silly limited-time gifts—because what’s funnier than absurdity at a stupid good price?

But first, a very important question: What’s the wildest April Fool’s twist you’ve ever read in a fic? (Bonus points if it was tagged “not a joke… or is it?”)

Here’s the chaos we’re unleashing:

✨ Master of TP-ing – A bouquet of toilet paper (romantic and practical). 🏅 Badge of Honor – A "fool" medal for your most chaotic mutual. 🤡 So. Much. FUN! – A nightmare clown for your "hurt no comfort" enthusiast. 🚨 Fast & Furious Spoiler! – For anyone who dared ruin your fave plot twist.

Will you grab one before they vanish at midnight? Or will you be left staring at the "this item is no longer available" screen like it’s an abandoned fic?

P.S. What’s the best (or worst) April Fool’s prank you’ve seen in fandom? Drop it in the tags—we need ideas. 👀

[daisyadmokocom]

🤪 From Serious to Silly

Turn your characters into comedic gold with Incorrect Quotes Generator! Sherlock arguing with Pikachu? Done. Gandalf roasting SpongeBob? Also done. Click to create your masterpiece: https://incorrectquotesgenerator.co/

[sarahocha]

Rhys: WHY DID YOU TELL FEYRE??

Suriel: Feyre is my main hoe I tell her everything

[sarahocha]

Me while reading ACOWAR: ...I'm naming the thing at the bottom of the library Fluffy.

Thing: *scares the crap out of Cassian*

Thing: *makes bargins*

Thing: *rips the Hybern fae to shreads*

Me: Fluffy~💕

[noobiestnoober]

The Boulder Puncher and the Broken Couch (Chris X Reader)

Chris Redfield—BSAA legend, boulder-punching icon, and lovable himbo—wants to impress you. Unfortunately, his idea of "impressing" someone involves recreating his infamous volcanic boulder-punching feat… inside your living room. What begins as a casual visit spirals into a chaotic blend of caffeine, confidence, and couch carnage.

It started innocently enough, as most disasters tend to do.

"You ever seen a man punch a boulder?" Chris asked, arms crossed, biceps bulging like he was starring in a late-night fitness infomercial from 1998. His grin was boyish, proud—completely unaware of the domestic doom he was about to unleash.

You blinked at him from across the kitchen island, coffee mug mid-sip. "Chris, no. And I feel like I should keep it that way."

He leaned forward, practically vibrating with excitement. "Wanna see something cool?"

That should have been your first warning. Maybe even your last. In hindsight, inviting Chris over to your apartment after a long mission already teetered on the edge of questionable judgment. But letting him drink three cups of extra-strong espresso? That was a full-speed sprint across the line into absolute chaos.

Caffeinated Chris was a dangerous man. Not in the 'he’ll break your heart' way. More in the 'he’ll accidentally break your walls, ceiling, and possibly the space-time continuum' way.

"Okay, okay, stand back," he said, cracking his knuckles with the kind of intensity most people reserved for defusing bombs or performing emergency surgery.

You didn’t even have time to protest before he dropped into a half-crouch and squared up with your couch. Not a punching bag. Not even a pillow. Your couch. Your not-so-budget-friendly, questionably purchased beige IKEA couch.

"Chris, what are you doing?"

"This thing’s got the structural integrity of a lava rock. Perfect for this," he said, glowing with confidence.

Before your brain could process the absurdity, he punched. The couch exploded. Springs shot into the air like confetti at a doomed celebration. Fabric tore with theatrical flair. One of the legs snapped off and rolled under the coffee table like it was tapping out of the chaos. You stood frozen, coffee cup hovering mid-air, one drop clinging to the rim. Chris looked just as stunned, holding half a seat cushion in one hand and a detached armrest in the other. He stared at the destruction like the couch had somehow betrayed him.

"That... wasn’t supposed to happen."

You set your cup down slowly. "Did you just punch my couch?"

"Technically, yes," he said, rubbing the back of his neck. "But in my defense, it looked very boulder-like from that angle."

"Chris. It’s beige. And tufted. With decorative buttons."

He pointed at the wreckage. "It was beige."

You exhaled through your nose and pinched the bridge of your nose. "That couch cost more than your entire tactical vest setup."

"I’ll fix it!" he offered quickly, eyes wide and hopeful. "I’ve got duct tape."

You blinked.

"A lot of duct tape," he added, pulling out an industrial-sized roll from his tactical backpack like it was sacred equipment.

You didn’t have the strength to ask why he was carrying it. You really didn’t want to know.

Instead, you waved vaguely toward the destruction. "Just... clean this up before Jill gets here. I am not explaining this again."

Chris straightened and gave you a salute, serious and overly formal—like he was reporting for a mission titled: “Fix What You Broke.”

"Yes ma’am! Operation Couch Resurrection is underway."

As he knelt beside the ruined frame and began reconstructing it like it was a hostage negotiation, you muttered under your breath, "I should’ve just let him punch a hole in the wall. At least that could be patched."

[teonatsu-kathy]

Post-Hogwarts Pranks: They Never Stopped! 🦉✉️

My headcanon is that even after Hogwarts, the Marauders never truly stopped pranking each other. It just got more sophisticated:

Sirius would send James prank owls that only delivered glitter-bombs.

James would enchant Sirius's favorite armchair to make honking noises whenever he sat in it.

Remus would respond to their escalating antics by sending them excessively polite, passive-aggressive letters detailing the exact bylaws they were violating.

Peter would accidentally set off the charms in a public place.

[teonatsu-kathy]

Gryffindor Common Room Pranks Headcanon! 👻

You know the Gryffindor common room was an absolute hotbed of Marauders pranks:

They'd charm the suit of armor by the stairs to give unsolicited (and terrible) fashion advice.

Sirius would bewitch cushions to gently float up and down, making unsuspecting students suddenly sit on air.

James would try to turn the common room fire green for a minute, just to annoy the Slytherins below.

Remus would secretly undo any hexes that were actually dangerous, muttering about "idiots."

Peter would accidentally set off alarm spells trying to sneak an extra biscuit.