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holdmyowos · 5 months ago

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Child of the Stars (Original Work)

Captain Lily Warren is on a quest with her team to collect data on the moon Ganymede in hopes of potential habitation. After a romantic encounter with one of her officers, the lines of what is right and wrong are blurred, and things get even more complicated with what springs from their relationship. She learns she has both allies and enemies on the ship. Finally, the day comes to decide who will return to Earth and who stays, condemned to the sphere for the rest of their lives.

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1: Launch

“All systems go, we are ready for takeoff!”

Those words still rang through my ears, fresh as the launch day despite the long passed time.

That was the day everything changed for me, and the group took to space. The first manned trip to Ganymede, and the second trip to colonize an extraterrestrial area in general. After the previous failed trip to Mars, space exploration halted until more advancements in technology could be made to secure the safety of the passengers. Finally after a hundred years, it was deemed good enough to resume. I looked forward to it so much; I was making history, I was lucky to be here, and I knew it.

The seconds ticked by into minutes, the minutes into hours, and so-fourth. In the face of how long it took me to get here, the initial excitement had long worn off. Now that I was actually nearing the destination, for the most part my job was repetitive and boring. Even the actual ride itself was more entertaining. Now, all the work was just reading and recording data from devices the crew and I had long since set up.

I straightened my Captain Lily James Warren nametag and sighed.

2: A Date

A knock at the door startled me back into my workspace as Officer Dyles was wrapping up her presentation on the initial Brassica rapa plant growth report.

As the overseer of Genesis, I was tasked to look over pretty much everything my subordinates did. Why Dyles put so much effort into the presentation was beyond me when it was just a basic report, but of course I humored her, and her dedication was admirable.

“Come on in!” I greeted whoever it was, permitting them to enter.

Lieutenant Pike peered around the door and saw there was already another person in a meeting with me. “Captain, could I, uh, have a word? Alone? -When you're done, of course. Nothing urgent.”

I dismissed Dyles, telling her to submit the presentation to the logs. Her eyes crinkled in excitement as she left, her slides forever cemented into history.

I turned to Pike. “That's my job, isn't it?”

“What?” he questioned.

“Having words with whoever wants them, among other things.”

He didn’t laugh as I expected him to. Things always felt calm around Kyle Pike; there was always an implacable warmth in the atmosphere of our interactions. In another life, I could have seen how we could become friends.

He was unlike everyone else who constantly had the anxious edge about them when they talked with me, as if I would or could feasibly fire them. All interactions were always strictly reserved to a “yes Ma’am” mindset. To some extent, they feared me, and that made me a bit uneasy. It would probably settle down after a few months, when they were used to living like this.

Today was not the usual. Pike sounded just as anxious as the other people in Genesis.

“I think the way you avoided those asteroids yesterday was most clever,” he commented.

A beat of silence passed as I tried to comprehend the situation. A compliment from him was rare, what was he getting at? It was just another part of the job, and it happened many times before. Disturbing me with idle chitchat during office hours really wasn't like him. I glanced down at my watch. The hour was at 5 and the minutes at 12. Oh, my shift just ended.

“Mhm, what about it?”

“Um, I always looked up to you in basic training.”

What did he want with these compliments? A raise or promotion, perhaps? But didn't he know there was no point of that all the way up here?

“Yep, I was top of the class,” I replied unphased by his praise.

“Well, I, uh… well, to be honest, I was just trying to see if maybe you would like to go out with me sometime?” He finished awkwardly.

Oh.

Well, what to do? There was no protocol for this.

There was no protocol for this. Even if there was, it wouldn't really matter, with no one to really enforce it. I could answer however I wanted.

A small voice nagged in the back of my mind about which way I probably should answer, keeping the mission my only focus and not allowing other distractions. I should think about the long-term - what if it didn't work out between us? Who would want to be stuck oodles of miles away from Earth with their ex? Could we balance both a relationship and the mission? What about favoritism?

Sadly to say, these thoughts were not at the forefront of my mind. The days were tedious and long, and I resorted to journal entries and triple-checking million-dollar, new, highly functional systems that were already double-checked for fun.

I chuckled at his wording. “Lieutenant, tell me just where you think we can ‘go out’ to?” I gestured at the window, Earth a tiny speck in the distance. We’d both be blown to smithereens if we tried to go out at this speed.

“Sure, let’s go someplace fancy to eat. How about the dining hall? Or let's see a movie! We can go to my quarters and use my laptop. Or, or, how about-”

He chuckled nervously along and started to get up. I could tell there was secretly a speck of anger under the surface at my reaction.

I felt a twinge of guilt for making fun of the confession, and calmed my mood. I should have focused on the bigger picture. He expected an answer, and I just made fun of him in a vulnerable moment. He was a joker, but this seemed real.

“I mean, sure-” I stuttered out. “...if you could actually think of something for us to do, I suppose that is.”

“Hmm, I was thinking about seeing a movie on your laptop in your quarters?”

Back to his old joking ways. I laughed.

“Fine, but you're making the popcorn.”

3: A Discovery

“Captain Warren to MedBay. Urgent. Captain Warren to the MedBay, urgent.” The speaker clicked off as Combs’ voice echoed through the bridge. Jordan and Jeremy exchanged confused glances.

I walked out the door, swift with worry. What was going on down there? Combs hardly ever used the intercom, and why would it be urgent? I started to sprint.

I huffed with my hands on my knees as I slid to a stop in front of Doctor Jaelynn Combs.

“I came as soon as I could, what's the trouble?”

She cast a dubious glance on me, looking up and down. “...I can see that.”

Dyles burst in, ready- as always, to be of use. “I heard there was an emergency in here-”

“This doesn't concern you. Go away.” Combs shut the door abruptly in her face, and turned to me. I made sure to leave a disapproving look on my face on how Combs dismissed her. Would we need to have a conversation later?

The venom in her voice with which she talked with me caught me off guard. “ Captain- you'll need to sit down for this one.”

“Ok?” I sat on one of the hard beds, and turned to face her. There were never any large issues the Genesis faced before, but she spoke with anxiety-inducing gravity.

She swung a chart over to me, showing my records. I scanned the words. The numbers for all the health reports all seemed a little off my average, but nothing that was overly concerning. “...What was I supposed to look for here?”

Combs had never been one to break news lightly or really ever seem to care. What made her want to be a doctor and help heal people was beyond me. She didn't seem a good fit for the role.

She coughed and lit a cigarette. Where did she get those?

“You're pregnant, dumbass.”

- - -

Astronaut status was difficult to obtain, and maybe even harder to maintain. Surely because Pike and I were both scientists, highly trained in ethics, with strict moral codes, certainly nothing could go wrong, right? No one would do anything that might potentially cause problems to the mission, right?

Wrong. No matter your training, it gets lonely in space. Kyle and I grew closer. Too close, apparently.

Previously, the first mission was an all women crew on Mars to prevent these exact complications of workers having sex. As if lesbians didn't exist. Or maybe it was the outcome they were most worried about, understandably so. This time, they decided the most qualified people for the job should go, with no consideration for diversity of any type. They sent the top researchers, period.

The crew only just learned to trust me and let down their guard, how would they react when they learned this secret?

As the months passed, I begun to experience some unusual sickness, with nausea and fatigue. I brushed it off as stress, but others thought I might be catching some odd motion sickness from the ship. I hoped neither were the case, but was unsure if this was preferable. Now that I know the real diagnoses, I could no longer ignore the signs.

Now that I knew, I kept quiet for a week, considering the best way to break the news. The Genesis was a small vessel, and the crew needed to rely on each other completely. Time would have revealed the secret anyways, so I might as well be forward about it.

Kyle Pike was, of course, the first one I told.

The outcome was much more disastrous than I expected, and words were exchanged. “Where is the man who said he wanted to explore the universe with me, to chart every star in the sky? To lean against me as we sat on a ridge gazing over the horizon at Saturn?”

“Captain, that was months ago. It was never a long term thing,” he said as coldly as the moon itself.

It still stung days later.

- - -

To be honest, I wasn’t sure what I expected. Overwhelmingly criticism and side handed comments about how selfish I was and the quality of life for my baby? Of course not. These were people I was with for months, and would continue to be with for years. Even if there was opposition, it was quiet in hopes of not spreading dissonance.

Everything was discussed, from childbirth complications in 0 gravity to the psychological effect on the crew. I exhaled a sigh of relief as I realized there was at least one simple truth I could count on: they would let me have the baby.

While the majority of the Guardians of Genesis would not show their opinions one way or another on the pregnancy, they were not slow to ostracize Pike for his lack of responsibility, and rightfully so. Perhaps it should have been my duty to make sure we remained united, but I felt no mercy for him sitting alone at lunch after he decided to leave me upon hearing the news.

Men. Did he truly think he could just float away from this problem?

I paused my thinking, examining. Problem? A problem? Was that all I thought of the child as?

No. Absolutely not. I would not fall into that mindset. This could be a very good thing. It would make the lonely nights less lonely, and give the crew something to rally around and hope for.

4: Delivery

I stood on the bridge of Genesis, for once feeling like the captain I was.

We glided through the clear expanse toward Ganymede, and I gazed out at the distant image of Jupiter, the clouds seemingly something out of a fairytale book in contrast to the darkness behind it.

“Captain, we’re entering orbit,” Kyle called out, his voice unsteady. He didn't seem very invested, a distant look in his eyes.

Despite Kyle’s mood against me, we were finally doing what we set out to do. We were ready to begin the real mission. If we were successful here, another colonization program might even begin on the neighboring Europa.

A massive pang shot through me, and water dripped onto the floor. Not now! I kept strict health and dieting reports, making sure to do nothing that could endanger the child any more than it already was. I was determined to keep perfect track, and he wasn't due for another couple of days.

Of course, like every time anyone birthed a baby, it was the worst possible moment. Babies obviously didn’t understand schedules and being on time.

The tension in the air was palpable. In the eyes of many of my comrades, I had made a vital error. As they orbited the planet, awaiting the order to descend, I could tell this was weighing on their minds instead. It should be a day of great celebration that they finally reached their destination, but my actions caused them to be wary. I could feel all their gazes burning into me now.

- - -

Heads popped in and out of the door, watching. That's when I realized. I was a spectacle to them.

I wasn't going to give them what they wanted, what they expected: a torn-down mother that would now shirk her responsibilities. I would show them that I was still just in charge as ever, and I could do both.

“Jeremy, take Kyle and go out and do the readings. You haven't done them in awhile, remember to do them today,” I set out the last word, my breathing heavy.

“Are you sure that you should be thinking about that sort of stuff -” Jeremy’s voice was etched with concern.

“You heard me.”

They left promptly. By doing this, I asserted my power keeping them in check, and showed the world that I wasn't ready to back down from my responsibility and honor. As an added bonus, it removed the annoying staring faces.

I needed to borrow some of Jeremy’s clothes in the recent weeks (much to his disdain) for the time being. It was clear when the button near my navel fell off. It probably wasn't too good for the baby either, to be so constricted.

My thoughts turned back to the situation at hand. Perhaps I should have thought about doing the birth at the quarters… but I was sure that the technology would be far better in the Bay. Safer for both me and the baby, what else could I ask for?

What else needed to be done today? What should I tell the crew? I couldn't remember. Was there anything?

The pain became almost unbearable. “Is this normal?” I heard my own question to the doctor through a distorted haze. I felt faint, and a bit dizzy. I couldn't think very well. Things started to get darker. Was someone turning out the light?

I turned to the doctor. “Everything's normal, right?” I saw my heart rate rise on the monitor. Combs stared at the screen, a troubled look in her eyes.

Where was Dyles? I should have kept someone I could trust around. Was I really putting my life in the hands of someone like Combs? Not like I had a choice.

The machine beeped faster, and there was no response. The chart started beeping much more rapidly, and the medic rushed over. Wasn't she already here? I was very out of it.

I looked down. Was I bleeding? That was a lot of blood. Well, fuck. I realized I had taken so much time being captain and brushing the pregnancy aside, asserting my position, that perhaps I should have studied a bit more for this part of life.

Well, it was too late anyway. My mind faded into oblivion.

5: The Child

I scrubbed at the five years' worth of spittle and throw-up (and whatever other spills came off a baby) on his shirt. As I had feared, to no avail. Not only were there still gross spots on his clothes, but there was also a faded pinkish-yellow stain from the bleaching when I first tried to keep it in check. Even worse, there was no replacing it. Ever. There had been no thought of any other life forms joining the crew or needing clothes, especially very small ones. His clothes were mostly crudely sewn together from my old uniforms, along with a few donated ones from Jordan and Dyles. Every time he grew bigger, a new one needed to be made. It was always a concern in the back of my mind, what would come of the clothing situation, but Dyles was a lifesaver with her sewing skills, even having repurposed some of Liam’s baby clothes and incorporating the scraps into larger designs that fit him now.

Thankfully they finally developed a system to wash clothes in space right before our trip, otherwise, one pair of underwear was supposed to last a week. I shuddered at the thought. We would be even worse off then.

The spaceship Genesis was beached now and forever more presumably, merely a building, all the energy from thrusters transferred to lights and other vital uses.

Jeremy spoke to Jordan in an excited tone as they passed by. “The aurora is spiking today, it's supposed to be the best one yet!”

Liam tugged on my shirt, causing me to pause my hands on the laundry and look down at his pleading face. “Mommy, can I see the aura this time? Please, I'll be good.” I exchanged a knowing glance with Dyles. It would be dangerous.

I hesitantly looked down at Liam’s adorable face again, and he knew he won. He smiled.

- - -

I crossed the belt over his lap. “Sit very still for Mommy, ok?”

Dyles, my friend on the ship, smiled over at me as I gave her the thumbs-up, and she started the drive out of Genesis and onto the moon. Dyles had pretty much taken the role of Liam’s other parent, the only one to show much sympathy or care. It turned out there was at least one other person excited about the baby. She was sure it would boost the crew’s morale. At best, everyone else in Genesis was all neutral about the baby, but thought Dyle’s enthusiasm was the most cheerful part of having the child aboard. They did not like waking up to his wailing in the middle of the night and crying in the morning.

We bonded over our shared affections and general baby care. She revealed that a miscarriage at 17 was likely the cause of her wish to be with the child.

Dyles offered to drive us, on the stipulation I kept Liam in check. My hand firmly held him into the seat in case any trouble should arise.

Before long, we cleared the dark icy ridge to reveal a glistening expanse of ice, reflecting the stars in the sky, as well as the unusual colors. The tinted glass of the rover blocked most of the colors in what I was sure would be a magnificent sight to behold, the polarized frame doing its job of cutting down light. I cursed silently to myself. Very unfortunate. Dyles sighed with an unhappy look on her face.

Sadly, Liam could not go outside and see the lights clearly like the adults in suits could, only observing through the tinted glass. What could be done?

I leaned over and whispered my plan to Dyles, and she gave me her feedback quietly. Liam, of course, wanted none of the secrecy. “Where are the lights? Mommy, what’s goin’on?” He kept repeating the phrase, sure to get his information. Dyles smiled back at me, and I smiled down at Liam.

“We have an idea.”

- - -

“Is the feed running?” I tapped the camera and waved. “I see you Mommy!” Liam’s excited giggle crackled through the suit.

“It's clear Lily!” Dyles’ confirmation flew out of the tiny speaker.

The cameras on the suits were amazing, thank whatever entity made it happen. It seemingly always took perfect pictures just as good or better than we saw.

I bounded along across the surface, trying to find the perfect spot to show Liam. When I was finally in a good position, I looked up. The ice met the darkness of space underneath, and majestic greens and reds streaked across overhead as if they were a perpetual cloud of lights. There was nothing like this on Earth, not even our own pink and aqua ones were of this magnitude. I heard two stunned gasps, as well as my own. It almost felt like we were all standing side by side, overlooking the icy landscape under the vastness of space together.

- - -

I was abruptly pulled out of my thoughts by a knock at the door. Jeremy’s head popped up as he opened it. “Hey boss, have a moment to chat?”

“Sure,” I said in a demure tone, stepping outside of the lab room with a small smile, still thinking of my son. “So, what’s up?”

Jeremy was there for me since day one, my number two for all important tasks. We had grown close working together, even in the early days on the shuttle.

“I think it’s time.”

I perked up, and stopped slouching, knowing exactly what he meant by those simple words.

“We should send someone up with the results of the data. We have enough to go back now,” he commented excitedly.

Everyone who signed up for the mission knew the chances of them ever going back were slim to none; a trip of no return. There would probably be no one coming to save them once they were on Ganymede. Their lives simply weren't worth the hundreds of billions of dollars it would take for the government to retrieve them. The pod going back only held enough resources for one large person, along with the plethora of data that would be sent back in modules. I was the most logical choice to go back and present the data, but after having Liam, the group somewhat ostracized me and Kyle, and stopped including us in social activities, other than Dyles.

My smile faltered as I considered. There was no real point of when we needed to send back the data, as long as it went there with someone, before everyone aged too much and up and died. I had been postponing the return trip in hopes Kyle could go to Earth, planning on how to best propose my argument and advocate for my son.

However… if Jeremy was bringing it up with me officially, I'm sure there has been talk amongst the crew for a while now. Dyles was always all over the place and mentioned it, but from someone like Jeremy, it became real.

His gentle nudge pulled me out of my notions, and I looked down at him. “I’m still not sure. I think we need more time.”

He chuckled. “Nonsense, everyone has been pestering me to talk to you about it. If you don’t do something soon, they’re bound to call up The Council to vote on it. I mean it, you know,” his tone darkened, something more serious.

“And we all know that despite what happened, you’ll be the one to go home. No one expects anything else.”

Even though I had grown close to Jeremy, I didn’t think the man would understand my dilemma. While he was a good man, he was never much of a friend to Liam. I couldn’t tell him my plans.

If The Council was planning on voting, I needed to speed up and focus on planning, leaving everything else aside. It was decided.

“Thank you for telling me, Jeremy. This is very important information to have. I’ll see you later.” I almost accidentally kissed the top of his head like I did with Liam when I was pleased as I whirled back to my quarters. I shook my head in embarrassment. A lot of work needed to be done.

Panic and resentment quickly seeped their way through the floors that day, and trouble started brewing under the surface since Jordan apparently first mentioned the idea of one of the Guardians leaving. Secretly, everyone probably was thinking of voting for themself, preparing their own arguments. That just meant mine needed to be even better.

Dyles privately approached me and talked over a conversation about it, saying Liam should ‘clearly’ be the one to go. I tried explaining to her that I didn't think everyone else would see it that way, but her relentless enthusiasm won over, and I dropped the subject, nothing else useful to be said.

The thoughts kept me up; they would never vote for both of us to go; there was the slight possibility it wouldn't work out with the extra needed food, and they wouldn't risk it. There were a million ways it could go wrong.

I would never be voted in by myself, and they wouldn't vote him in the first place. What could I do? It seemed impossible, every situation that I could think of to win the vote. To sneak him aboard? There would be too many people at the launch. Scenarios blazed in my mind, flashing like fire.

After staying up an exhausting amount of time working on my speech, I finally made my way over to my bed. As I laid down and piled up the blankets, I caught a slow languid movement and walked over to the small bed. Liam was only now awakening from his slumber, yawning and exaggerating his stretch like he had done when he was just a baby.

I looked at him warmly with motherly love. “Good morning darling.”

On space stations, it was important to keep a routine sleep schedule, because otherwise, the concept of days and nights would disappear, same as here. I realized I must have stayed up all ‘night’. I picked the child up to my chest, and Liam hugged my neck back. He quickly ran off, his youthful laughter echoing through the halls.

The intercom flared on, chiming The Council Meeting alert. It was time to make my case.

6: The Council

“I am… too frail in my age,” Jordan admitted. “I would rather someone else go,” he offered selflessly. Jeremy offered a hand of support on his shoulder. One out of five people, checked off my list.

“And, I'm too big for the pod. Simple math, I would not be a good fit.” The medic grimaced. Two. I was surprised by her decision, while I may have expected as much from Jordan, it didn't fit what I knew of her character. Maybe this would be easier than I planned.

“Well, since the very beginning, I thought we all knew it would be Warren,” started Jeremy. A couple of nods were seen, much to my encouragement.

“Votes for Captain Warren?” Dyles asked, raising her hand. Jordan and Jeremy joined, and I shyly held my hand up as well. Already a majority vote, I would be going home. I inwardly congratulated myself, all the stress had been over nothing.

The idea was immediately shot down, by the worst mouth on the ship. “-but obviously she can't leave Liam; she's his mother, so we have to decide who else should go, regardless,” Kyle drawled. It irritated me to no end to hear those words come out of his mouth. He thought he could say that without being hypocritical. It was good to know I saw a few other dirty stares his way, but he pretended not to notice. Absolutely no one would vote for Kyle.

“He’s much too young, even if we did decide to permit him. He surely couldn't go alone,” Jordan pointed out.

“Alright, votes for The Warrens?” Kyle sarcastically tried to conclude the meeting.

Dyles and I held our hands up. Jordan slowly raised his hand as well. I looked pleadingly at Jeremy, knowing Combs and Kyle would not be of any help, but to no purpose. I lost Jeremy on the price of bringing Liam. It was clear no civil decision would be made anytime soon without his vote for us.

I opened my mouth to speak my piece of convincing to Jeremy, but was beaten to it by the person I expected to be on my side least.

“If he can't go alone, Dyles would be a good choice to go too,” Combs commented.

The room was left in a stunned silence. Were they going to try and take Liam but not me? Would I be okay with this? The vote already cleared Jordan and Combs from the probability pile, Kyle had no chance, and Jeremy had no clear interest. Really, that just left me, Liam, and… Dyles. I hadn't even considered the possibility another adult might be voted in with him, only seeing the black-and-white absolutes. It was me and him, or some undesirable outcome. Period.

I quickly looked down as I realized I had been glaring at Dyles. It surely wasn't her fault. She was the greatest ally to me in my time here, and if I could choose anyone else to go, then it would be her.

Yet, I couldn't put the burning anger out of my head. Maybe I was just pushing the anger at my own incompetence onto her. I couldn't find a way to change the situation or turn it in my favor.

My head swam.

I failed.

“I… have to go.” I excused myself by pushing out my chair and whirled around out the door briskly. How immature, I was about to cry. Not in front of them.

Combs followed me. “Come back here! We need to decide this as the entirety of The Council, as per protocol we-”

I cut her off. “I'm not feeling very well, I need some rest and time to think on such a vital decision. Please understand”. I didn't wait for permission as I brushed past her and Jeremy.

- - -

I had failed.

I should have seen this coming.

They wouldn't allow him on. The people here valued the research more than their own lives; that's what they signed up for. A 5-year-old wouldn't be qualified to explain all the data, to teach others. I would be qualified. My son and I wouldn't exceed the weight limit; I was the smallest person here. Hell, Jordan was, what, 250 pounds? Why couldn't they see it would work?

The cogs churned in my head. I could easily break off an irreplaceable piece of the small pod, pretending as if it were missing or malfunctioning, hiding it until he was an adult and The Council would be more inclined for a youthful person to be the one who could present the findings… I shook off the ridiculous notion of sabotage. His social development would be greatly hindered by then anyway.

Later that night, Liam and I were reading together, one of his latest accomplishments. I beamed down at my son on my lap, congratulating him on sounding out the large word ‘friendship’.

“Mommy, can we go home?”

I fought the urge to say ‘sweetie, this is our home’. How would I explain to him the situation, that the researchers had doomed him to life and death on a moon?

“I want to meet them, the other people.” He pointed to the other children in the book.

“Yes, we’ll go home soon.” The words tasted like bile as they left my mouth, offering a promise I knew was impossible.

I cried that night, it was way more complicated than he could understand. He deserved to grow up and grow old around others his age, to socialize. To go to graduation. To have a life.

I furrowed my brows, and I made a decision. As the captain, the crew was my mission, as well as their safety. However, as Liam’s mother, I knew what I had to do despite everything. They didn't see, they didn't understand what I'd go through to get him on the pod. I would need to show them. Getting Liam to Earth was all that mattered, regardless of cost.

7: Deliberation

Everything was going as planned. Being on a station like this meant easy access to thousands of dangerous tools, along with the useful vacuum of space, they didn't make a sound.

I buried the last bit of evidence, after having thrown the other guy who-knows-where. Not like it mattered. No one would know in my lifetime what had happened. The bodies wouldn't be discovered for decades, if ever. It took years just to get here, they wouldn’t be sending anyone over too soon. With the floors all clean… and sterilized with medical-grade chemicals, there was hardly a trace. I took the suits out as well for an added precaution; it would look like they suddenly went off on a mission, but never made it back.

I had planned everything out; I couldn't kill Kyle first, as that would be way too suspicious. Though I couldn't have said anyone would miss him much, not even Liam. He hardly wanted anything to do with the child anyway.

First went Combs, the only one likely to be up this late. Then Jeremy, as he was still awake. It was child’s play from there to dispatch and dispose of the sleepers, my plan leaving little to no chance of a struggle. The worst was the mental drain. I had known I would have to live with the guilt, but was his life truly worth more than theirs? Kyle and Combs had not been my closest friends, but it was still a pity they had to die. And Jeremy? Jordan? What did he ever do, other than disagree with me on the best television show?

The trembling finally reached me with his death. He hadn't deserved it, he was just a sweet old man. He wouldn’t have stopped me anyway. And Dyles? I froze in my tracks.

Dyles. She would be up by now. Any other day she would have been sound asleep dreaming blissfully, but today was the day she checked that everything was maintained properly. She would be monitoring the halls. Somehow, I overlooked that key detail.

I slowly looked up to the blinking red light of the camera above my head. Shit.

- - -

Nothing was going as planned. Alarms flashed and blared left and right.

“Dyles don't you run from me! You know I’m faster, there’s no use!”

Despite the clear skills gap, she ran quite literally for her life, exceeding anything I had ever seen when I observed her fitness test. She leapt over anything in her way and knocked boxes over to hinder my path. We wound around the maze of the station; endless polished metal tubes and dazzling observation windows. This area was very familiar, we were coming up on my quarters.

She ran up to the sleeper, clicking the unlock console. Was she going to use Liam as leverage against me? Maybe I wasn't the only selfish one here. I wouldn’t feel as bad about what I had to do anymore. What an insane play.

“Don't you fucking dare!” I barked as she typed in the passcode, whipping out the miniature rudimentary flamethrower from my belt. It wouldn't be enough to kill her instantly, but it would hurt like hell. A warning.

Thank God she kept running. I paused to open the door and check on Liam. I kissed his sleeping forehead. He was so calm and peaceful that I felt bad I had to wake him tonight. He would never know of what I would do for him, of the toll it would take on me. I would make up for it when we got back to Earth, dedicate my life to charity or fundraising, whatever penance I needed to do to make up for this necessary evil I knew I was committing.

I locked the door back again as soon as I saw his sleeping form, calming me and allowing me to think more rationally. I inhaled, and I exhaled. I straightened my collar as I calmly strode after her, and my voice echoed across the shining floors.

“Look, I don't have to do this. You can just forget what happened, and let us leave,” I offered. However, it would be a rather miserable existence all alone, I supposed. She would have more than enough to think about and do all alone on the station, but one could manage.

Nonetheless, I gave her the ultimatum: walk away and forget this happened, or stand here against me and die. I picked up a box of rations and slipped them into my bag; she couldn't eat all the food in here for an entire four lifetimes.

She looked back as if considering my offer. I held out my hand in a gesture of peace, and smiled, just friends like we were before all this. I was happy we could at least end on good terms.

Dyles slammed into me, and I staggered to the floor. She stole my clearance pass, clicking it off my neck, and rushed into the bridge before I knew what happened. I banged on the door, but she was occupied with other matters. I looked through the tiny square of glass in the entrance to see what she was up to with my clearance other than locking me out. Surely she wouldn’t just wait it out in there? It was too easy.

I froze. If she shut down the pod with my clearance, I would never be able to leave as long as she held it. I raced back down the flight of stairs, skidding around the corner. I grabbed Liam in my arms and dashed to the launch bay.

It was too late. Dyles had already locked the area down before I could reach the shuttle. I couldn’t override my own clearance for something like this. Sitting in the small pod no bigger than a large room, I felt helpless. Was this all really for nothing?

I kissed Liam and buckled him up. He was still half-asleep, the poor thing. An idea clicked in my head.

“Just wait here, Mommy needs to take care of something and then we get to go to Earth, ok?”

“Mk,” came the mumbled-grumbled response. He would stay in the cushiony seat until he woke up, at least.

Dyles undoubtedly watched as I exited the ship, seething.

“I have your clearance badge. Get back in that ship or so help me! There's nowhere left to go!”

She had already sealed the blast doors for the hangar, preventing me from entering back into the building or exiting with the small spacecraft.

I scoffed at her. “I thought you decided to behave, you stupid bitch! Don't you understand I was trying to save you? To give you a chance? Do you want to fucking die?”

“Save me from what, you murdering me?” she retorted.

I smirked. “You forget. I don't need my badge for the locks when I have the captain’s manual override key.”

I input my code into the console near the entrance, and the space locks slid open as I walked back into the station, clicking open the large utility knife. This was the endgame.

After she got in a decent slice at my forearm, it was over quickly for her. The slash of crimson across the bridge controls glistened in the dim lights. This had been the only messy one, the others going quietly and painlessly.

I held her in my arms and cried at the loss of my one friend. I cried as I dragged her out, cried as I bleached the stain on the deck. I thought I could leave Dyle as we made our escape. I thought she would understand. I thought she would be asleep as we took off into the night. Why did this have to happen?

I wanted to leave, and as soon as possible. Erase all memory of this place.

I clicked on the light, and wiped my tears, a determined expression on my face, not betraying my breakdown. “Liam, get up. We need to be ready for launch.”

As he handled the basic preparations of checking the seatbelt, I quickly scrubbed the past day from all the records, as well as deleting the deliberation from the council. No one would ever know what I did; after such a long flight some data was bound to become damaged or unusable.

With the launch, I felt the same wave of excitement that I felt the first time we entered space, along with, finally, a glimmer of hope for the future. Though, unlike before, the emotion was tainted.

I peered out the window as we left, and quickly covered Liam’s eyes so he wouldn't see. Dyles stood in the command center glaring up at me, frost glistening across her skin, the left side of her face blistered from the flamethrower. She was still alive, although horrifically disfigured.

Well, it mattered not, now. Everything was worth it to save my son, wasn’t it? His bright future shone like the surrounding stars, stark against the darkness I committed.

The emptiness of space enveloped mother and son alike as we flew far away from the only home the boy ever knew.

8: Earth

A knock on the door changed my perception of reality. Or maybe it didn't; I'm not really sure. Maybe I knew all along.

“We have something important to tell you, Mr. Warren. It concerns your mother.”

I invited in the uniformed officers, one clearly a high rank even if I knew nothing about the military, his gray outfit highly decorated with gold and medals. The other man was much younger, sporting the typical camouflage.

“Sorry to inform you, but she has been dearly departed for nearly twenty years now,” I explained, unable to leave the edge of sadness out of my voice. She was everything a loving mother could be and more.

The two cast knowing looks at each other, and one offered his condolences. The other seemed unfazed. I invited them into my study and sat them down at the couch adjacent to my desk, but they preferred to remain standing. They meant business. I sat down.

“Is this location secure?” the camouflaged man asked.

“Uh, kinda, I guess? There's a lock in the door,” I answered truthfully.

The man in gray sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “That means… can anyone hear us?”

“No, our conversations are private.” That was why I brought them here. Who knows what we would discuss? I didn't want my daughters to have anything to do with sensitive information.

The man in gray spoke. “I’m not here to waste your time son, and I’ll be frank.” The mustached man sat his hat down with an emotionless expression. “I'll get straight to the point. We believe your mother… killed the remainder of the Genesis crew.” He slipped a piece of paper onto my desk, a file including a note from a woman named Dyles, along with incriminating photos and other miscellaneous pieces of evidence.

“…Why are you telling me this? My mother was a hero.”

“We have evidence to the contrary.”

I secretly slipped the note out and tossed the manila folder back at him. “No, you don't. Leave.”

The young man pushed up and put his arms on my desk, glowering over me. “Mr. Warren, surely you must understand the implications for-”

The uniformed man beside him laid a hand on his shoulder, and shook his head. The man stopped mid-sentence, his mouth hanging open.

“Leave him be. We’ve done our job here.”

They left without a trace, the older man gently closing the door behind him, leaving me to my silence.

“Murder, hmm? So that’s what you needed to do to get us back here.”

I think I always knew something odd must have happened aboard the station to get us here, but I just remember being absolutely filled with dread. I'm not sure what I was scared of, maybe it was Mom all along. Throughout my life, I slowly pieced together some things on my own in the tiny snippets she gave me about her life there.

I dusted the history book off the shelf— how long had it been since I looked at it last? It was the first book published with her story, but certainly not the last. I think she was in every textbook and space quiz now. As I flipped open the pages, the newspaper clippings that bookmarked the page fell out. First Successful Trip to Another Celestial Body and another, First Baby Born in Space!. Very little was said about anyone else, though I still think I could remember Dyles from when she helped Mom out with caring for me. I would read the note later.

About to close the book, I first read the brief entry on the Space Exploration page, next to a young version of her giving a thumbs-up.

On April 6, 2035, Lily Jones Warren

became the first person to give birth in

space to her son, Liam Jones Warren. Her

legacy is one of becoming an icon against

adversity, a hero for parents everywhere,

single mothers and broken families alike.

She died of cancer on June 5, 2154, 24

years after the birth of her son.

It was almost bedtime for the children, and my wife came in holding Keita. She struggled to rush down to the ground and ran up and hugged me. I beamed down at her happily.

“Daddy we saw Grandma today on the screen in the class and you know what I said?” She gave no time to guess. “I said ‘That's my grandma!’ I also learned about the order of the planets!” she stated happily.

I humored her. “Oh really, what is-”

“MVEMJSUNP,” she blurted the acronym.

I acted surprised. “Wow! You're so smart. Do you know what that stands for?”

She frowned down at me, looking like she was about to speak, then became lost in thought trying to recall. I turned my attention up to my wife.

“What was all that about dear, something with your mother?” Elara knew I didn't like to be involved in any famous things like my mother, preferring instead the quiet life of working in a cubicle. Just a normal life, like Mom always wanted for me. We were content with the ordinary. It was simple that way. I had seen all the paperwork and public appearances that were expected by my mom, and I knew she wasn't really interested in any glory. She always warned me to make a few close friends and avoid fake ones.

“Dad, why were those scary guys in our house?”

I sighed. How would I explain this in front of my daughter? I'd tell Elara the full story later tonight and the kids when they were older.

“It looks like your Grandma did some bad things to get back home.”

No one spoke for a beat, then Keita asked with utmost curiosity as to the answer, “Well, if it was to get you two back home, was it worth it?”

I was silent for a moment, unsure of how to respond. Wasn't that the exact question to be pondered here, regardless of age?

Without Mom’s actions, I never would have met my wife, never would have my daughters… I would be alone, and I would die alone as well.

I was just happy to be alive here and now because of her.

Keita’s sister burst into the room, cutting through the thick thoughts like an arrow. Nova shoved her favorite book in my face.

“Daddy, can we read The Mother From Ganymede again tonight? ‘All systems go, ready for takeoff!’” she announced, quoting the first few words of the book.

“Sure, Nova. Let’s get you ducklings tucked into bed.” I closed the door and turned out the light, thankful to have these moments with my family.

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