#For the next three years I'm going to swing back and forth between whether I'm staying in bmstu for phd or try to get good enough to get

[os-anastigmat-anaesthesia-why]

when you offend me and I don't react strongly right away just know that this is going to the back of my mind to marinate/age/whatever and well I snapping's not an option when you're a woman but one day I can just cut all contact

[dolokhoded]

i'm not going to get into whether the gospels were written by who they actually say they're written by, or whoever wrote them knew very well what they were doing, but the way john and matthew write about judas compared to luke and mark is just so...,..,., brb screaming and crying

in luke and mark, who weren't there with the twelve, judas is portrayed as a one dimensional villain, pretty much just there to do the dirty work and then die. with the exception of mark 14:21 (it would have been better for that man if he had not been born) and luke 22:48 ("you betray the son of man with a kiss (because of love)" line), which are both just direct quotes said by jesus, judas doesn't seem to have any emotional significance whatsoever.

but matthew and john were there. matthew and john knew judas, they'd known him for three years at least by that point, he had followed jesus with the rest of them, he was one of them. in john and matthew's writing there is grief, there's something personal in their gospels that makes judas' portrayal biased not because of lack of further knowledge, but because of the way judas' bertrayal affected them.

matthew calls him the betrayer, he keeps reminding us of it, he says judas had been looking for an opportunity to do this. but matthew also writes of his remorse. writing a literal holy text, whether he knew what he was writing at the moment or not, he finds it necessary that people know what happened to judas, that he regretted the betrayal, that he tried to return the money.

and john, we see john try to find an explanation and swing back and forth between saying "oh, yeah, we knew from the start, when judas suggested we sell mary's ointments he didn't care for the poor, he wanted that money for himself" (even though when jesus said that someone will betray him everyone wondered if it would be them, nobody said "well it's clearly that judas guy, he's weird") and "he must've been possesed by the devil he would never do that it was satan".

matthew and john are writing all of that while trying to process the loss of someone that used to be their friend without ever getting any closure. the disciples had all followed jesus together, they'd found something in him but also something in each other. jesus knew everything, he knew judas was going to betray him, he knew his reasoning for it, he understood, he loved him regardless, but for the rest of them it was one second they were all eating together, and the next that he turned on them, and before they could get any explanation for it he was dead.

[slinket]

Whispers in Hogsmeade

Sebinis Prompt Fest 2024

I used two of the prompts suggested by @Nigelly

A date in Hogsmeade or Diagon Alley/Knockturn Alley

Taking care of a pet together (can be Canon Universe or Modern AU)

No warnings on this work.

Sebastian had finally convinced Ominis to come with him for a visit to Hogsmeade. Ominis had been reluctant, finding himself confused by his changing feelings towards Sebastian. They were friends. They have been friends for years, and yes, while it’s fairly common for love to blossom from friendship, it didn’t happen too often between two wizards, at least in the public eye.

They walked together, Sebastian guiding Ominis from his elbow when needed, idly chatting. When they arrived, Sebastian first led Ominis towards honeydukes where they spent a bit of time sampling some candies until Sebastian convinced Ominis to buy a couple of pouches for them to share later. Next, they headed towards the Three Broomsticks. As they walked Ominis noticed how their hands would swing back and forth next to each other, but their fingers would loosely touch, sending shivers down Ominis’ back. Ominis could have sworn he felt Sebastian's fingers try to catch his own, but he ignored the feeling, thinking Sebastian couldn't possibly be interested in that. Sebastian had plenty of opportunities to hold Ominis' hand or to share with him any feelings that went beyond friendship. Why would something suddenly be different?

Once they reach the Three Broomsticks, Sebastian asked Ominis to wait outside

“Why?” Ominis asked. "Because I asked you," Sebastian responded.

Ominis rolled his eyes before leaning his back against the building, crossing his legs and arms. He heard the sound of Sebastian opening the door and heading inside. He waited quietly, letting his thoughts run wild about how he and Sebastian could have a future together. Whether it be friends or not, they could share a home after school. They could work together, could do plenty of things together and it didn't have to be romantic, even though Ominis may want it to be. So he supposed that as long as he had Sebastian in this life, he could live happily enough. . Ominis was startled out of his daydream as the doors from the Three Broomsticks slammed open and Sebastian walked out in a cheerful mood.

“All right, Ominis, got what we need. We're going to head over to the moor over there. I've got a bit of a surprise for you.” Sebastian grabbed Ominis by the hand and started pulling him along. The initial pull was a bit rough and Ominis stumbled to get his feet under him as he followed.. He was surprised by how soft Sebastian's hand held him. It was a guiding touch, but it felt somehow more, maybe a bit possessive. Ominis felt his breath catch as Sebastian's fingers suddenly linked with his all while pulling him along to a little spot outside of Hogsmeade.

“Where are we going Sebastian?” Ominis asked, curious to know where his friend was taking him. “Just a little ways more now. Not too far out of Hogsmeade. I just wanted to show you something. It's a surprise actually.” Ominis scowled a bit. Not actually mad but confused and his mind was running away with ideas that he knew he shouldn't be thinking about. After another minute, Sebastian announced that they had arrived at the special location. He listened as Sebastian dropped something onto the ground and was making a lot of noise as though he was setting something up.

“Sebastian, what are you doing?” “ I'm setting up a picnic, Ominis. I thought it would be something different we could do, spend some time together.” “That’s the surprise? A Picnic? That’s kind of you.” �� Actually, no. Well, it's part of the surprise but it's not all of it. Just…just sit down here.”

Sebastian pulled Ominis over a few steps and Ominis could feel the texture below his shoes change slightly. Sebastian pushed down on his shoulders while telling him to sit down. Ominis slowly lowered himself to the ground, his hand finding the delicate touch of a blanket below him. He sat sitting with his legs crossed, his fingers tapping aimlessly on his bent knees. Sebastian continued to work the sounds of clinking glasses and plates being settled whirled throughout Ominis' ears. Knowing now about the picnic Ominis could place the different sounds he was hearing until the last sound. He assumedIt was a bowl, as Sebastian was pouring something into it, tiny plonks as something hit the ceramic of the bowl.

“What's that for? What is it?” Ominis asked “Oh this is for the second part of your surprise.” Sebastian responded. “How many parts are there for this surprise?” Ominis almost felt like he could see the smile form on Sebastian's face.

He heard Sebastian sit down next to him muddling about pulling something from the basket and handing it to Ominis

“Three parts. Here’s a pasty from the Three Broomsticks, figured we could share our lunch together while we wait the remainder of you're surprised to show up.”

“To show up? We're waiting for someone else to join us? When I agreed to come here, I thought it was only going to be the two of us. I don't particularly like being around many people or any people for that matter, except for you of course.”

" I know Ominis, I know. Don't worry your pretty little head over it. We're waiting for something to show up but it won't make you uncomfortable.”

‘Pretty little head’ is what repeated in Ominis' mind and he became a bit dazed accepting Sebastian's response without any more questions. Why ask when his friend referred to him as pretty? They ate in silence for a bit until Sebastian suddenly graspedOminis’ hand again.

“They're coming. They're coming. Get ready!” Ominis bit his lip a bit nervous as to what was coming. While Sebastian may be fully aware of what was approaching, Ominis could only imagine.

“Sebastian, I hope you know what you're doing. I don't….I'm not quite comfortable.”

“Come here buddy! Come here.” Ominis then heard Sebastian tsk his tongue several times. Sebastian lifted his hand and reached it forward and Ominis' fingertips touched something soft. He heard a quiet meow and smiled as his fingers then pushed into the fur of a small cat eating out of the bowl Sebastian had filled earlier.

“You brought me a cat?” asked Ominis.

“Well, yes, I know you love them. They're all over the castle but this one seems to follow you around quite a bit. When I realized that I kind of brought her out here so she could meet us. I knew she would show up with all the food and you here.”

“This one follows me around.”

“Yeah it's quite adorable to see. I set up a bunch of food all over the place.”

The cat shook himself a bit. Ominis raised his hand and allowed the kitty to go back to eating.

“What do you mean the food is all over the place?”

“Oh,” answered Sebastian. “Well, I wanted to make sure he came. So, yeah I mean, I poured the bowl here of food but there's also some a couple metres away…and then a few more beyond those and a couple beyond those. Actually, we're quite surrounded by cat food at this time.”

“Sebastian, you put us surrounded by cat food. Do you think only cats are going to show up?”

“Why? What else would come? It's cat food. Sure, maybe a couple more cats but…” Ominis playfully shoved Sebastian on the shoulder.

“It's still food! Any animal cloud show up, magical or muggle.”

“Well then I didn't just get you a cat. I got you an animal sanctuary…. Yes that sounds about right. but you only be able to take the one back.”

“Take him back?” Ominis asked, “I'm to keep him.”

“Of course. I asked professor Weasley if that would be okay. There's cats all over the castle, so what's difference if we put a little band on this one that says it's yours?

“I… I don't know. I suppose that would be alright. That's very kind of you.”

“Well I’ve got to be kind. It would be silly if I did something very stupid for our first date … .Which is the third part of the surprise.” Ominis’ head whipped to the side. His eyes glaring at where Sebastian would be seated.

“This….this is a date?” Ominis swallowed thickly.

“Yes, I suppose I didn't quite ask it fairly but I was worried you would say no. So I just thought we'd come out and I’d pretend it was a regular day, but just do something a little different and special and that maybe…maybe you would think that I was special and..and consider that the friendship between us is the best thing but it could be more, if you wanted it to be more.” The pace of Sebastian's words increased as he continued, until he was no longer taking breaks between his words.

With that, Sebastian slowly moved his hand across the blanket, allowing it to cover Ominis' hand that was sitting there. Ominis could feel Sebastian leaning forward and he took a slight gaspy breath in as Sebastian whispered to him.

“Maybe I should have asked properly, but I didn't want you to say no. I just couldn't take another day of not being able to touch you, to be able to link my hand with yours.”

Sebastian's free hand reached out and and gently cradled Ominis' chin in his hand. He shifted towards Ominis, and Ominis felt Sebastian lean forward until their lips met. Ominis closed his eyes as the sweet lips of Sebastian pressed against his own. It was gentle, soft like a wisp of air flowing by. Ominis could barely believe it was real.He suddenly sat up straight, pulling himself away from Sebastian and cleared his throat.

“That was unexpected.” Ominis stated.

“But was it unwelcomed? Sebastian asked.

“Oh no! Of course not. I love the cat. I want to be able to take care of het and take her back to the castle with me. With us. I've always wanted a pet.”

Sebastian pulled his hand away from Ominis. “I'm glad I could make you happy with it.” Sebastian said sadly.

Ominis took a deep breath. He knew he had to acknowledge that Sebastian had just kissed him but he didn't know how to do it. His heart was beating a thousand times a minute and while he was happy, his mind was panicking. What's to become of them? What if something goes wrong and they no longer have a friendship between each other? What if they break up and the cat has been so attuned to both of them? How could they ever deal with it? How would they ever decide where the cat would go once they left school? “Ominis,” Sebastian said quietly. “Are you only happy about the cat or…” his voice cut away.

“We should name it.”

“Right,” Sebastian replied, his voice clearly sounding defeated

“Sebastian. I'm sorry I just…I don't know how to process everything that's going on in my head right now.”

“You don't need to Ominis. I figured that if you had similar feelings, this would just be easy.”

“That's not true! If anything my feelings are overwhelmingly similar but I'm afraid. I'm afraid of what this will mean for us. I'm afraid of what this will mean for my and your family. I'm afraid of what this will mean to the public and I'm.” Sebastian cut them off.

“It doesn't matter what it means for all of that. Only what it means for you and I. And I want more with you.”

Ominis felt the cat crawl onto his lap, settling down, curling into a ball to take a bit of a nap. He looked down at her, touching her softly. Wishing he could see the softness of her fur.

“Ominis, please.” Sebastian whispered in his ear. “Just say anything. Say something?”

Ominis shook his head a few times before he looked back up and turned towards Sebastian He pressed his forehead against Sebastians. Their mouths close to each other to where Sebastian could feel Ominis lips move when he spoke.

“We need to pick a name for her, because she's ours and we will both be taking care of her, because that's what pet parents do. Together, like you want us to be.”

Ominis felt Sebastian's lips spread into a smile and with that indication Ominis leaned forward just the last bit of space between them. This time the kiss was slow, but their mouths quickly opened, an invitation to Sebastian to explore the mouth of his friend turned lover. Their focus was completely on each other. They spent what seemed like forever snogging, smiling and laughing. The world around them seemed to disappear until they heard a meow and then another meow and then another meow. They pulled apart, Ominis going to pet the cat on his lap as though she was upset.

Then he heard Sebastian. “Uh-oh.”

“What's uh-oh?” Ominis asked.

“Well, the food I put around us. You may have been right about other animals.”

“Oh Merlin, what do you mean Sebastian?”

“There's a few more cats.”

“How many is a few?” He heard Sebastian muttering through numbers.

“Don’t worry about the cats. I’d be more concerned about the Puffskeins. I'm pretty sure I also see a few nifflers and even some diricawls are coming around. Any of them will eat cat food huh? I didn't. I didn't realize.”

“Obviously you didn't realize. You can't possibly think we're taking all of these back to Hogwarts!”

“No. We can’t. Gods, this is a bit of a disaster.

“I'm not going to be responsible for all these animals Sebastian, so you better hope they eat this cat food and disappear.”

“Right? Well maybe it's time we pack up anyways, we've seemingly been here for a while. The sun is nearly setting and well…

“It's been wonderful.” Ominis finished.

Sebastian quickly packed up everything around them, pulling Ominis to his feet and pressing his lips against his again. Sebastian knelt down and picked up their cat, handing it to Ominis.

As they walked back through Hogsmeade, passing through on their way to Hogwarts, they spoke about the cat.

“What's her name?” Sebastian asked.

“You know I think we should name her Poppy. After our friend of course. She spends so much time dedicated to animals and it only seems right that when we're finally taking care of an animal, it's in honor of her.” Ominis lifted the cat once again, resettling her in his arms.

“I think that's a grand idea,” Sebastian responded.

He grabbed Ominis' hand and they continued their journey, now full of smiles and blushes. Poppy stayed happy and Ominis’ arms for the trip back. Once they made it inside the walls of Hogwarts, Ominis placed Poppy down and let her walk and follow them to the castle doors.

“Sebastian, today was wonderful, thank you. I'm quite happy with the outcome.”

Sebastian squeezed Ominis’ hand before stilling and letting out a confused laugh. “Yeah it was quite wonderful.”

They walked forward a bit more.

“We should keep moving, it's nearly curfew…we need to get inside.”

They picked up their pace. Sebastian, confirming to Ominis that Poppy was following them. As they neared the door they ran into Garreth who was also on his way quickly back to the dorms.

“Hey mates, what are you up to today? What's what's with the animals?” Garreth posed.

“Animals?” Ominis questioned. “It's just the cat. It's our cat.”

“Oh yeah the one who's near you but what about all the other ones?”

“Garreth, stop talking,” Sebastian whispered angrily.

“What other ones?” Ominis stated, his voice a bit annoyed as he turned to look towards Sebastian.

“So maybe all those other animals also followed us back to Hogwarts. We really should get inside and get to the dorm before we get in trouble for being so late. Okay? Bye Garreth!”

Sebastian pulled Ominis once again, running into the castle and closing the doors before the menagerie he created could follow.

[xijura]

Here's a short percico thing I did.

I was... In a mood when I wrote this 🤔

CW: depression, hurt comfort kinda thing

Happy holidays 😗

I'm not just tired

Percy had learned to recognize the signs. He thought he had, anyway. They weren’t very obvious at first, and it made him nervous that maybe, he was overthinking it a bit. Nico didn’t like him being guarded and ready to act at any moment. But Nico was still in bed. Peeking through the slightly open bedroom door, a hot chocolate mug between his hands, Percy looked at the barely visible shape under the covers. The tightly shut blinds barely let any light through. He tried remembering what the past few days had been like. Maybe he should’ve done something sooner. 

Monsters didn’t really care whether the end of the year celebrations were around the corner or not, so they had been called on duty a few times. Too many times? He could handle it and usually, Nico could too. Until that morning when he said he couldn’t shadow travel. He didn’t look sick or particularly tired, but if he said he couldn’t, then he couldn't. That had been its own fight when they started dating and Nico wouldn’t admit when something was wrong with his powers. But Percy had convinced him to just say it. It didn’t make him weak, or a burden to anyone, it was simply something they had to work around. Like a broken ankle or a headache when they didn’t have ambrosia nearby. 

So no shadow travel. Fine, nothing to worry about as long as his favorite ghost king got a little rest. He didn’t even seem upset by it. A few days later, Nico started acting cold and distant. It was never easy to have his sister's birthday and his other sister's death anniversary follow each other. He could deal with it, though. Had done so plenty of times before. He just needed space. Then the mood swings started and the skipped meals and the missions and the going back and forth between camp half-blood and camp Jupiter and people shouting and arguing non stop. It was logically stressful for everyone. But Nico didn’t say anything. He continued smiling and talking to people but Percy could see the tension under his skin, the way he avoided his touch or wouldn’t meet his eyes. 

December 23rd, 4 pm and Nico didn’t get out of bed. They had plans with both their families and friends for the next three days and Percy had a feeling they wouldn’t make it. He was looking forward to staying with his parents and sister tonight but Nico was the priority. He just had to figure out how to approach it. 

He let out a breath and opened the door. The shape under the cover stilled. Percy sat on the edge of the bed and put down the mug on the bedside table. Sentences filled his mind but none seemed to fit. If he said the wrong thing, Nico could get upset or feel bad or get even more distant and he didn’t want any of those things to happen. 

“I’m okay,” came a voice from under the covers. “I’m sorry I can’t come tonight. My presents are on the kitchen table. Can you take them when you go?”

“I would,” Percy answered, tugging lightly on the covers until Nico lightened his grip enough to let him slide right next to him “if I was going.” 

It was hot under the covers and he squinted.

“Percy…”

“I’m not going.”

While he could see just fine underwater, his heritage didn’t help distinguish the curve of Nico’s nose, the edge of his jaw or the heavy lidded eyes he knew were under there. His fingers were tingling with the need to touch, feel the heat of Nico’s skin against his. He stayed where he was. A noise came from somewhere in front of him.

“I… Give me an hour. I’ll get dressed in an hour.”

His voice was tight and low. 

“I don’t want you to.” In the best of days, Nico didn’t feel too good when surrounded by lots of people. Meeting Percy’s family tonight meant a lot of noise, obligatory speaking and probable unwanted touching, even if only accidental. He couldn't subject his boyfriend to that.

“We can see them any other time and, honestly, I’m a bit tired myself. They’ll understand.”

“Are you mad at me?”

“Why would I be?”

Nico shifted a bit, like he was debating getting farther away or closer.

“Because I’m…” Broken. He had said that before and the word still rang heavy in Percy’s ears. He remembered the tears and the screams and the distance. “Because I’m like this.”

“Everyone gets tired sometimes, nothing wrong with that.” 

Those weren’t the right words. Nico’s condition was serious. Very common among demigods, hell, very common among mortals too. But right now, Nico probably didn’t want to hear that. He had been more open recently about the way he felt, the guilt was slowly going away instead of choking him into silence. Nico’s demons would always be there, but they were both learning to work with it. Percy believed they were anyway. He was afraid to see the son of Hades shut down completely if he brushed too close to the subject.

Nico was still again and Percy waited.

“I’m not just tired.”

The silence that followed was long and heavy. Percy could barely breathe. Was Nico actually willing to talk about it?

“I’m not feeling okay at all.”

He wanted to take his hand, hug him, run his fingers through his hair and tell him that everything would be alright. He did none of those things. Just listening to Nico’s heavy breathing was painful enough. Not being able to touch and reassure him was worse. 

“It’s like I’m… It's like I want to speak but I can’t. Like I’m sinking and I can’t breathe. It’s like I’m dying, Percy.” He could feel Nico shaking and wanted to hold him so bad he closed his fists to calm the urge. “I don’t know what to do to make it go away. I’m not sure I should want it to go away, maybe I…”

“No, you don’t deserve to feel that way.”

He knew he needed Nico to let everything out and say what he wanted to say, but this was too much. He couldn’t stay here and listen to him talk so badly about himself.

“Can you hold me?”

Percy was around Nico even before the words clearly registered. He was shaking beneath him. Nico was crying and Percy wanted to scream. How could he hold so much power in his veins and yet be so powerless when the one he loved needed him most? His neck was wet with tears and his arms tightened. 

“I’m here. I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere. If you can feel me against you then you’re alive. Tell me you can feel this.” 

Nico nodded against him. 

Percy had never felt so lost and scared for someone else before. Nico wasn’t okay and he didn’t know what to do. The things he said cut deep and not knowing how to react to it, how to make him feel better hurt even more. Something terrifying was happening and no magic sword could make it better.

“I'm right here, I’m right here.” He continued whispering between them. 

He thought about asking Chiron for help, surely the centaur had dealt with this in the past. But would Nico be okay with him talking about this to anyone else? What if it made things worse? Would he feel betrayed? Would he get even further away from him? His heart was beating so hard it was deafening. What was he supposed to do? What if he made a mistake and Nico…

“Percy?” the voice was so low, muffled, shaking. “I think I need help.”

Percy started crying.

[wxlfstxrx]

I'm honestly so impatient and want to know about Finn and Leo's first kiss!!!! Could you do your take on it?

wOkay this is a long one, and i lowkey feel like i should turn this into prose instead. if anyone wants me to, pls holla @ me hehehheehe

leo has had a crush on finn since one week into moving into the apartment, but he’s perceptive as hell and doesn’t wanna overstep boundaries by making a move on finn when he obviously has something going on with logan

he does do other things like hug him and ruffle his fiery red hair. he can’t help himself, finn is too adorable and he never wants to leave his side

eventually though, two years or so later, logan and finn have their big bi crisis and finn comes home that night all smiley and dopey and leo’s heart just shatters into a billion shards

he avoids finn all week, even going as far as to leave their apartment earlier to head to the rink, claiming that he wants to get a short workout in before trainings, when in reality he just cannot bear to sit in a car with finn and be in that close proximity to him, knowing that he can’t have him

after trainings he rushes off and spends all day roaming around gryffindor, either on his own or with whoever else is free to grab lunch together and just hang out

one day he goes back to the apartment earlier, knowing he’s being moody and ridiculous, and he resolves to cook a nice dinner (which hasn’t happened all week) and try to set things right with finn

stuck onto the fridge though, is a note telling him that he’s going to be out till late and leo��s stomach drops and his heart just squeezes tightly in his chest

before he realises it he’s crying, tears streaming down his face and he locks himself in his bedroom, refusing to do anything besides hide under his duvet as his heart breaks over and over again because he loves this boy so much but of course logan and him have had a long history together and they’re obviously head over heels for each other and leo honestly shouldn’t be that surprised and affected

and maybe he’s just disappointed because he thought he’d actually be able to be himself, and that he’d even be able to find love, because now he’s not the only queer player in the league that he knows of, but now that finn and logan are together he’s just alone, all over again and he wonders whether he’ll ever be able to be this comfortable around anyone else ever again and basically, he’s stuck in a downward spiral from there

he barely notices finn banging on his door at one point, softly at first and getting increasingly louder until he’s yelling his voice hoarse and pounding his fists on the door

finn notices that leo’s been acting weirdly around him ever since he came home that night after having sorted things out with logan

he knows leo saw it written on his face, he was always one to wear his heart on his sleeve. leo, on the other hand, as a goalie, knows how to hide his expressions well, and finn cannot for the life of him understand what has happened and why he’s been avoiding him like the plague

he initially assumes that leo’s just having a bad day or two, and that he needs some time alone and so he doesn’t think much about it

but when leo five more minutes knut religiously wakes up earlier three days in a row to hit the team gym before trainings, finn knows something is really wrong

he tries to catch leo after training that day but the blonde’s left by the time he’s out of the showers. he looks worriedly at logan and they head back to dumo’s later that afternoon to talk about it

very subtly, they ask dumo if they’ve noticed leo acting weirdly over the past few days and dumo being dumo, Knows What’s Up

he raises an eyebrow and tells them i don’t know, what do you think? and the two boys frown at each other, trying to figure out what dumo knows but they don’t

dumo just shakes his head and smiles sadly at the two clueless boys

over the next few days, finn tries to find opportunities to talk to leo but he somehow just knows when finn’s trying to catch him alone so he latches onto another team member, any team member, at any given moment, all the way until they leave the rink

finn gets increasingly upset, and he doesn’t know why his heart hurts so bad, why leo’s all he can think of the whole day, wondering what’s going on with him and wanting so desperately to hold him in his arms and make sure he’s alright, so he speaks to logan, who surprisingly, apparently feels the same way

they come to realise that they have both grown fond of baby leo over the past two years, ever since he joined the team and started hanging out with them

while shocking at first, because isn’t it completely weird and wrong to have feelings for two people at the same time? neither of them are willing to let go of this precious baby boy

they head back to dumo’s one afternoon after training when he offers to cook dinner for them and they’re like hey dumo, just a completely random, completely hypothetical question, is it normal for someone to like two people at once?

dumo has to bite back a smile as he turns away from the stove to look at the two boys perched on the tabletop, shoulder to shoulder and swinging their legs back and forth, trying and failing to look totally casual

he plays along though, giving them advice along the way as they bombard him with questions. he tells them about polyamory and he assures them that people in a polyamorous relationship are not wrong, and definitely not bad people for liking more than one person at one time

at one point, celeste comes in and she also tells them that maybe sometimes when it feels like something’s missing between a couple, like an incomplete puzzle, they’re just missing that one piece, that one person to fill in the final piece of the puzzle and that’s completely okay and suddenly it seems as though finn and logan have emerged from underwater; their heads are clear and it’s like something just clicks into place

they give the two boys a knowing look and continue cooking dinner, and they head down to logan’s basement right after dinner to have a long conversation about the boy they have come to know and care for

finn eventually heads back to the apartment, hoping he can get some time to speak to leo one on one

he’s beyond nervous, and he has a lot of scenarios playing out in his head on how their talk will go

but nothing prepares him for the locked door and quiet sobs from leo’s room

his heart starts racing and he’s starting to panic because leo almost never cries unless something really bad happens, but he forces himself to knock softly, hoping that leo will open the door

when he calls his name a few times and receives no response, just continued muffled crying and shuddering exhales, he starts knocking louder to a point where he’s basically pounding the door down

he shouts leo’s name over and over again, and he’s almost in tears himself now because did something terrible happen and is leo okay and is he safe in there? he doesn’t know, and he hates that he doesn’t know

he suddenly remembers he has leo’s room key and he scrambles to his room to grab the key, unlocking leo’s door and rushing over to the bed where he’s hidden under his duvet, curled up in a ball

he stops short at the side of the bed, not knowing what to do except stare at leo’s shaking frame beneath the duvet, who by now has gone almost completely silent

he sucks in a breath and crosses over to the opposite end of the bed, and hesitating for a moment, he climbs in, diving under the duvet to lie beside leo

he can barely make out his features and it’s so warm from leo’s body heat, but finn’s eyes adjust to the darkness a little bit and he can vaguely see blue irises and red-rimmed eyes, and his face is flushed and blotchy. his bottom lip has been bitten raw and he looks so upset and hurt that tears spring in finn’s eyes as they stare at each other, lying on their sides, close enough for their breaths to mingle but not close enough to be touching

leo’s eyes are weary but guarded, and when finn opens his mouth, presumably to ask if he’s okay, he turns around, burying his head in the crook of his elbow

finn’s heart is thrumming in his chest and he chews on his bottom lip, wondering if he should or shouldn’t

he decides to just go for it, and he scoots closer to leo, wrapping an arm around his waist and pulling him in so his back is flush to his chest

leo jerks, but finn’s arm tightens and he’s sure the taller boy can feel his heart thundering in his chest but he doesn’t care. tell me what’s wrong, he pleads, and leo stays silent for a few moments

leo feels sparks igniting all throughout his body the moment finn touches him and pulls him into his chest. his heart feels like it’s going to jump out of his throat, and he’s so confused, and scared, and does logan know this is happening??? oh god— he tries to pull away but finn’s not having any of it, his arm tightens around his waist and leo feels like he might spontaneously combust

tell me what’s wrong, finn murmurs, his breath tickling the back of leo’s shoulder and he closes his eyes, swallowing hard. he has an internal debate on whether to tell finn everything that he’s been feeling the past week, the past two years, or to just push him away and avoid him again

but with finn’s thumb rubbing soothingly on leo’s side, he realises he cannot hold his feelings in any longer. he doesn’t open his eyes as he pours his heart out to finn. once he starts talking, he cannot stop, everything coming out like word vomit as he tells him how he’s had a crush on him for about two years now, and that he always knew he and logan had something going on but he never wanted to pry or intrude, and that he knew the night they got together, because he had come home with the biggest smile leo has ever seen on him, and he had looked like he had truly seen and felt love coursing through his veins, clear as day and right as rain, and leo cannot help the tears flowing down his cheeks again as he tells finn that he’s all he ever wanted, that he’s the only person that can make him feel so himself, and that in a sport where queer players are so looked down upon, he doesn’t know if he can ever find another person like him to love

halfway through, he vaguely registers finn’s chest rising and falling faster, and he hears him sniffling, and they’re both crying hard as finn climbs on top of leo, pushing him to lie flat on his back as he straddles his hips. it all happens so slowly and so tenderly, yet so fast and so passionately; finn leans down, cupping his cheeks in his hands, and crushes their mouths together

their lips move in a slow but intense rhythm, like the rising and falling of the tide. he tastes their tears like the salty ocean and they’re both breathing hard and fast like they’re fighting to breathe against the raging currents. the bubbling feeling in his chest crescendos and crashes over him in waves, and his brain short circuits for a moment, until he breaks out of the water’s surface and he can finally think again 

he pushes finn away and scrambles away, terrified that he’s just ruined whatever they have. he slaps a hand to his mouth as he tries to regain his composure, and finn looks confused and hurt and suddenly leo finds his voice again. logan, is the one word he rasps out, in between sobs

he knows he’s fucked everything up, and he wants nothing more than to continue hiding under his duvet forever and never see finn or logan or anybody ever again, and the mere thought of it sends him into hysterics

until he feels a warm hand on his cheek, wiping his tears away and tugging gently at his wrist. please, finn whispers, i want to talk to you about something. leo blinks slowly, his vision clearing and finn’s face coming back into focus

finn smiles hesitantly as leo fixes his gaze on him, and he tells him about the past week, and how he’s been worrying himself sick, wondering if there was something that he did to make him close off like that, because not once in two years has he seen that happen, and he’s been feeling like a part of his heart has been ripped out of his chest, the way he’s been overthinking and trying to figure out what’s wrong, and leo sees and hears for the first time how much finn truly cares for him, and he lets himself hope, just a little bit

finn rambles on, pausing here and there as he tries to put in words the thoughts and feelings that have been swirling around within him, and how he and logan had come to a realisation that they both wanted him, really wanted him. leo’s holding his breath now, he dares not breathe for the fear that he’s going to wake up from a dream the moment he does

finn talks for a long time, explaining the basics of polyamory to him, whatever dumo and celeste told him and logan earlier that evening, and finn tells him about the missing piece of a puzzle that he and logan are trying to build together, and that he’s the missing piece they’ve been unknowingly searching for all this time

leo’s eyes grow wide and he finally opens his mouth. what does this mean for us? he asks softly, hoping that he’s thinking about the same thing that the other two boys are thinking, but at the same time not daring to let down his guard just yet

finn breaks into a genuine smile then, the corners of his eyes crinkling and his teeth biting down briefly on his bottom lip as his amber eyes blaze with a fire he’s never seen before

we want to be with you, he whispers as his hands find leo’s, lacing their fingers together. we want to spend time with you, and protect you. we want to share our lives with you. we want to love you. we want to be with you, if you’ll have us.

leo’s eyes flutter shut again as he’s overcome with emotion. he takes a few deep breaths and opens his eyes again to make sure he’s not just living a wild dream. when he looks into finn’s eyes and sees nothing but honesty and love, he chokes on a fresh wave of tears as he sucks his bottom lip between his teeth and nods, slowly at first, then faster, his face splitting into a wide grin, his dimples making an appearance after so long

finn laughs wetly as he pulls leo in for another kiss, and leo doesn’t fight it this time

the next time they have training together, leo is evidently much happier than the team has seen him in a while, and they’re all confused but immensely pleased, dumo in particular. he goes up to him at the end of training, when half the team has already left, and he ruffles his hair affectionately before pulling him into a fatherly hug. leo smiles bewilderedly at dumo, who just winks and skates away, humming quietly to himself

finn and logan, who are watching a few feet away, skate over once everyone else is gone, having headed back to the locker room to shower. they pull him in for a quick hug and start tugging him along to skate a few more laps around the rink to cool down, discussing lunch plans all the while, before they start making their way off the ice

just before they step off, logan taps finn on his butt as he always does after trainings, something that he’s done since their harvard days, but then he does the same to leo, giving him a smile and a wink, and leo can’t help but grin sappily all the way back to the locker rooms, feeling as though he can finally exhale after all this time

[yurtletheturtlehenderson]

S.T. REWRITE - S2:E2; Chapter Two, Trick or Treat, Freak - [Pt. 3 - FINAL PART]

A Will Byers x Reader Series

After Will sees something terrible on trick-or-treat night, Mike wonders whether Eleven’s still out there. Tensions grow between Y/n and Mike as does their concern for Will.

||Reader's POV||

There was a slight hiccup in plans, so I was unable to go over to wills house before hand for trick-or-treating, but thankfully everything was back on track. I ended meeting at mikes house with Dustin and by the looks of it, we had gotten there just in time. Jonathan pulled up and we all waited anxiously for them. The boys started hitting each other with their empty pillow cases and I laughed. Movement up ahead caught my eye and i smiled when I saw will heading our way

"Hey, Egon!"

We all caught up quickly before, planning our route.

"So, Jonathan's not coming?" I asked, knowing that was originally the plan.

Will smiled and told us Jonathan was cool enough to let us go alone, as long as he was back by 9. I smiled at him and linked our arms, as I goofily marched on down the street.

"Tonight we feast, fellas!"

+++

We'd been out for about an hour now, and will had turned on the video camera he brought.

We all waited patiently at the front door, Dustin and Lucas fought over who got to ring the bell. Soon enough a nice lady answered the door.

"Trick or treat!"

"Oh!" She beamed, reaching for the candy bowl. "Well, aren't you cute? The little exterminators." We all tried to hide our disappointment and the unexpected statement, when the lady turned to me.

"And who are you, young lady?" I forced a weak and awkward smile, and I felt the camera pan over to me, I could see Will snickering at the comment.

"Uh," I looked around, and finally shrugged. "It doesn't matter, thank you!" I trailed off, taking the candy. 

The door had closed behind us and the boys did not miss the opportunity to laugh. "Well, at least I'm not an exterminator!" I retort with a laugh.

Lucas began rummaging through his pillow case and sighed. "If I get another 3 Musketeers, I'm gonna kill myself."

"What's wrong with 3 Musketeers?" Dustin asked.

"'What's wrong with 3 Musketeers'?"

"No one likes 3 Musketeers." Mike argued.

"Yeah, it's just nougat?." Will said.

"Uh oh, here we go." I thought.

Dustin was quick to the defense. "Whoa, 'just nougat'? Just nougat? It is top three for me."

"Top three?"

"Top three!"

"Oh God, Give me a break." Mike whined.

"Seriously, I can just eat a whole bowl of nougat. Straight up."

"That's cause you're weird, Dustin." I laughed, as he stuck his tongue out at me.

I had fallen into the head of the group and just as I turned around I was surprised to say the least when I saw a Michael Myers Mask inches from my face, the figure was in all black and swinging a machete.

In my fight or flight response, I screamed, and threw my arms out and pushed the figure away as backed up.

The figure had been laughing, by winced and it's hands flew to to it's arm, holding it and wincing. "Ow, what the hell?"

The voice sounded familiar and with it's free hand, pulled the mask back and we all relaxed when we saw it was Max.

She shook her arm out and frowned, seeming confused, but she looked back at us and laughed.

"Holy shit! You should have seen the look on your faces. Also, your hands are, are like burning up, you might have a fever or something, cause like, what the hell was that. And you?" She pointed at Lucas. "Who screams like that? You sound like a little girl." 

She laughed and continued walking. I looked down at my hands and saw that they were still pretty red. I frowned as I looked at my hands, and rolled up my hands and touched m arm, wincing at how hot it was.

Lately, I've been noticing that it's been getting... worse. More frequent, to be specific. It's getting harder to control, like when I'm caught off guard like this, it's like a reflex and I can't control it. I don't know what's wrong with me, or how this is possible, or even how in the hell I got these abilities, but i can't help but feel more.... isolated. I-

"[Y/N]?"

I looked, up, realizing everyone was heading for the next house, except for Will. He lowered the camera a little.

"Are you okay?" 

I smiled weakly and shook my head. "Yeah, I'm fine." I wanted to tell him my concerns, but the tape was going so I opted not to. "Let's go, we better catch up."

I straightened my head and kept on walking.

+++ 

Some time had passed, and we had stopped by a few houses at Loch Nora. And Max was right, there were a ton of full sized candy bars.

"Another full-size. Like, seriously, rich people are such suckers." Dustin laughed, but then he grew quiet. "Wait, you're not rich, right?"

"No, I live up Old Cherry Road."

"Oh,"

"No, it's fine. I mean, the street's good for skating."

"Mmm, yeah. Totally tubular." Max raised her eyebrows and laughed at Dustin's comment.

"What? Did I say that right? Or is it, like, tubular."

Lucas and Dustin started doing their impression of a surfer, which made Max and I laugh. "Stop, my ears are actually hurting."

I had started to fall behind so I could walk with Mike and Will.

"You okay, Mike? You've been quiet."

He looked between Will and I, Will was now aiming the camera at us.

"Did you agree to this?" 

"What?" Will asked.

"What do you mean?"

Will lowered the camera. 

Mike glared at Max. "To her joining our party."

"It's just for Halloween." Will offered.

"You should have checked with me." He snapped.

I frowned. "Mike, what is your problem?" I asked, annoyed by his sudden behavior.

"She is! She's my problem. She's ruining the best night of the year." With that he stormed off.

"Mike," I called after him, quickly walking to catch up with him. "Mike, we should at last talk about this, Mike-!"

I heard a clatter from where we came from and my instinctively whipped around. I noticed Will wasn't with us.

"Will?" I called out, my heart starting to pound.

I ran back around the corner, and I could hear Mike following me.

I wanted to kick myself for not getting there in time, a bunch of a-hole teenagers were harassing him. Will was laying on his back, looking taken aback and his camera was on the ground with him. But all I could focus on were those bullies who were laughing and pointing at him as they walked away.

I ran after them. "Hey, piss off! You leave him alone, you hear me? Mind your own fucking business, a-holes!"

They just laughed and sneered as they kept on walking. I took a sharp and deep breath, and turned around. I heard Will calling my name, he was frightened.

"Will, are you okay-?"

"[Y/N]! Mike!"

I felt my stomach drop when I saw him. He was pale as a ghost and staring up at the sky. Before I could say or do anything, he turned ran behind some houses.

"Will!" I ran after him and I could hear Mike behind me. 

"What's going on?"

"He must be having another episode. Some assholes cornered him and now he's having an attack. Come on!"

I heard other footsteps join us and I assumed the others overheard and ran after us.

I saw Will stop suddenly and dive behind a ledge. "Will!"

I came around to halt, and saw more frightened than I'd seen him in a while. He was clutching his legs as they were tucked far into his chest, he rocked back and forth, his eyes closed and his breathing heavy."

My heart ached to see him like this. As quickly as my body could register, I reached out to him and put a hand on his shoulder. He jumped when he saw me.

"Will, it's me. It's okay, it's over. It's just me. What happened."

His eyes ere wide and frantic, he was looking around, still in shock.

"Will, I need you to breathe, okay?" He was shaking pretty heavily but he looked at me and nodded, taking deep breathes.

"Holy shit!"

"Is he okay?'

The others had caught up to us. 

"I-I don't know."

Mike knelled down and I moved over so they could talk.

"Will are you hurt? Are you okay?"

"I'm gonna get you home, okay? I'm gonna get you home. Hold on."

I stood up and offered my hand, Mike did the same. Will grabbed our hands and shakily stood up, he still hadn't said a word.

I grabbed an arm and started soothing him. That was when Mike snapped at me. "I got him."

I just stood there in shocked silence.

Even Dustin seemed put off by his behavior. "Mike?"

"Keep trick-or-treating. I'm bored anyways." He had a weird venom in his voice, and my blood began to boil.

We all stared after them. I was very angry at Mike, but more than anything I as worried about Will, and I just wanted to make sure he was okay.

"What's wrong with him?"

I felt anger and sadness blending together and I stormed off. I wanted to run after Mike and give him a piece of my mind, but I knew that's not what Will needs right now. I stopped short when I saw Will's camera and candy bag. I sighed, all the anger leaving my body and all that was left was worry.

I walked over and knelled down, pickup the camera and checking it. Thankfully, it seemed to still be in good shape, nothing other than some scratches and a dent in the plastic but other than that it seemed fine. I sighed, and turned off the camera, having realized it was still on. I closed it up and knelled back down, picking up his pillow case full of candy. 

My mind was racing, and but it never seemed to leave Will. 

||3rd Person POV||

"It's like... It's like I'm stuck."

Mike and Will had made it back to Mike's house. Will was currently waiting for Jonathan to show up, and the two were hiding out in the basement. Just before they had gotten to the house, [Y/N] had caught up to them, returning Will's camera and candy. She checked in with Will and quietly slipped away, something the boys couldn't help but feel a little bad for, Mike specifically.

Will had calmed down enough and he trembled ever so slightly as he recalled the encounter.

"Like, like, stuck in the Upside Down?" Mike asked gently.

"No." Will sighed, trying to find the right words. "You know how on a View-Master, when it get's like..." Will struggled with the words and gesturing.

"Caught between two slides?"

"Yeah. Like that. Like, one side's our world, and the other... the other slide is the Upside Down."

Mike was quiet s tried to understand all that was being said, all the while Will continued. "And there was this noise coming from everywhere."

Mike noticed the look in Will's eye, it was distant like he wasn't there. "And then I saw something."

"The demogorgon?"

"No. It was like this huge shadow in the sky. Only, it was alive. and it was coming for me."

"Is this all real?" Mike asked gently. "Or is it like the doctors say, all in your head?"

"I don't know. Just..." Will looked to Mike desperately. "Just please don't tell the others, okay? Especially [Y/N]. I don't want her to worry, and... and I know she's got a lot of stuff to worry abut already. And the others, they... They won't understand."

Mike looked to his lap and nodded. "Eleven would."

Will recalled all the stories they would tell him about Eleven. This made Will perk up. "She would?"

"Yeah. She always did."

The boys grew silent and Mike smiled sadly. "Sometimes I feel like, I can still see her. Like she's still around, but she never is." he shook his head, sniffling ever so slightly. "I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy."

"Me, too."

Mike looked to his best friend and smiled weakly. "Hey, well, if we're both going crazy, then we'll go crazy together, right?"

Will chuckled lightly, and smiled at Mike. "Yeah. Crazy together."

+++

"[Y/N], are you sure you're okay, you seem kinda not fine" Dustin called after his sister as she walked sadly into the house.

Her only reply was the front door slamming shut. Dustin sighed and was about to go after her when he heard a noise coming from behind him. He froze in place, and ever so slowly turned around. He stared at the metal trashcan as he heard the strange noise again. It was strange, high pitched growl.

"Mews," he called softly, not believing for a second i twas his mother's cat. "is that--"

The trash can moved suddenly with a loud echoing thud and Dustin gasped, dropping his bag of candy on the pavement. His heart was racing and he kept telling himself that there had to be reasonable explanation but for the life of him he could not think of one. Dustin slowly reached behind his back and pulled out his "proton blaster" and aimed it at the trash.

He slowly and cautiously stalked forward.

The high pitched growl echoed off in a metallic manner once more and the trash can shook.

He crept further. "Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit."

It chirped and growled. 

He stepped closer.

It growled again.

This is it, He thought, Now or never.

Dustin summoned every scrap of courage he could muster and let out his best battle cry as he ripped the lid off the trash can, and aiming his blaster at the bottom of the can.

He froze suddenly, staring at the strange sight before him.

"Holy sh-"

+++

Tag List: @dickkwad @aimee-lucass @iblesstherainsdown-in-africa @miscellaneoustoasts @acexattorney

DM me if you want to be added!

[gretchenxhumphries]

Voicemail: I heard a song on the radio that reminded me of you. Don't know the name. But it made me miss your eyes... and your hands. You remember when you got drunk at that party and I got my face smashed in by that asshole? I was thinkin' about that too, and thinkin' about how I'd like to get my nose broken if I could be your date to another party, just one more time. Shit, it's like 2AM and you're asleep and you'll probably check this later and... fuck, ignore this. I'm an idiot.

April 22, 2016

Bzzzzzz. Gretchen groggily turned her head towards the phone on her nightstand, having completely ignored the initial buzzing that signified a call coming through, finally gaining interest when the most recent buzz signaled a voicemail was left by the unknown caller. Not bothering to move herself from her comfortable position on her stomach, she reached for the phone and winced as soon as the screen lit up the darkness that was her bedroom. It took only a couple of seconds for her eyes to adjust and clearly be able to read the words that now lay stagnant across her screen. One missed call & One voicemail from Trenton Lawrence. It took a little longer for Gretchen to register what she was actually reading and once it clicked in her brain, she pushed herself up so that she was sitting on her knees with the phone held out in front of her with slight shock. A piece of her regretted not answering as soon as she heard the buzzing, but another part of her knew it was probably for the best.

Looking to see what time it was, her digital clock read 4:14 in the morning, which meant it was about 2 over in New Mexico. Maybe he was out partying with some friends and had too much to drink. That tended to be what they did. They played phone tag with each other, and eventually it would catch up with them and they wouldn’t know what to do about it, but for now their little game was safe. It had been like this for the past year now, ever since Gretchen finally moved away. She’d done her freshman year of college at WNMU, the only school that would accept her after the catastrophe she’d caused for herself towards the end of her senior year. Then sophomore year rolled around and she had applied for a better school which she was accepted to and excelled at. Then finally, junior year came and Gretchen took a chance. She applied to Harvard. It was the best thing she could do since she was pre-med working on a degree in bio-engineering, her minor in psychology. It was more a shot in the dark since she was sure they wouldn’t want a transfer with the history she had, but apparently she was wrong. The personal essay she had written about her life seemed to speak to someone important over there and she got in. She actually could pursue the life she wanted and the life her parents still dreamed of for her. But getting in to Harvard meant moving away. Far away.

The relationship that Trent and Gretchen had was always a complicated one, even since the beginning. They tended to go back and forth on whether or not they were right for each other, but somehow they always found themselves calling the other up for a late-night meetup. It wasn’t even about being physical, it was just about being with him, being comforted by his presence and knowing that he would always be there for her in some way. That is, until she chose to now live almost 2,500 miles away from him. The majority of her life had been spent in Los Angeles, but Silver City had become her true home in the six years she had lived there. Who knew what waited for her out in Cambridge, if she would ever find the same kind of people she grew to love and care for like she did back in New Mexico. But she had to do it, she had to try. Which meant leaving people behind. Leaving Trent behind.

She couldn’t remember who had called first, probably her since her first month at school was terrifying with so many intelligent people who already knew each other and had formed their own cliques two years previous to her arrival. She’d probably left a blubbering voicemail about how she’d made a mistake and that she didn’t belong there. The voicemail he left in return was the first thing to make her smile since she’d got there. They weren’t together, they knew the distance would be impossible and their relationship was always rocky at best, but neither one could really ever let go of each other. Ever since then, the two of them had just had a string of bad luck. Even winter break managed to keep them apart as Gretchen realized she didn’t have the funds to fly home and then back once the semester started up again. The next time she’d see him in person would be at the beginning of the summer. Nine whole months. So much could happen in just a fraction of that time, she wasn’t even sure she’d be going home to the same person, or if she herself would be the same person. Still, she always had her voicemails.

As the school year went on, the voicemails started coming farther and farther in-between. Gretchen had finally started getting in to the swing of things and had found a group of friends she felt she could be herself with. She ended up going out more, worrying less about whether or not people would judge her for her past, and enjoying her freedom to do and be whatever she wanted. Once her 21st birthday rolled around, she even found herself accepting drinks from guys at bars. Eventually they turned into dances out on the dance floor, maybe a quick makeout session outside of the club, and even one or two of them actually managed to make it in-between the sheets with her. This was her chance to experiment with every aspect of who she thought she was, and who she wanted to be. And yet, that night of her 21st birthday she found herself dialing the number she had now memorized and leaving a half assed and mumbled message about how she was an even bigger and badder version of herself than when she had turned 18. Adult Stage Level 2 is what she had called it. And after every guy she hooked up with, she couldn’t help but feel a nagging in her gut that it was wrong. They weren’t the ones she should be with. They weren’t the ones she cared about. But her and Trent weren’t together. Not really. Even though he was the one she kept going back to, he was out of the picture while she was so far away.

Hovering her thumb over the screen, she finally swiped on the notification and punched in her password to unlock the phone. Clicking the play button, she held the phone up to her ear and silently listened to the newest message he had left. She smiled as soon as she heard his voice, a reaction she always had no matter what mood she’d been in previously. She wondered what song it was he’d been listening to, where he was when he’d heard it, and who he’d been with as it played. Was he out with friends? People from school? Girls? Her stomach twisted as she thought of him going out with other girls, probably pretty leggy girls with hair that fell perfectly even if they just came from a joy ride in a convertible. But that didn’t matter, she had no claim to him and she herself had been on at least three different dates set up by friends who wanted her to move on, though nothing had ever come of it. A laugh escaped her when he mentioned the party they had gone to so long ago, the one that had just been the start of her downward spiral. It all seemed so ridiculous now that she could look at it from a distance. Still, it was one of the defining moments of her life that lead her to where she was this very moment.

The moment the message ended she quickly hit play a second time and closed her eyes just to hear the sound of his voice again. If she called him back right now chances were that she would catch him. Maybe they could have a long overdue chat that actually had a back and forth and wasn’t limited to a beep that might cut you off. But something held her back. What good would it do them? Perhaps this weird back and forth was what was actually keeping their relationship alive. Maybe if they had actually tried that long distance thing, they would’ve ended it months ago. At least this way she still got to pretend there was a chance for them once she came back. And then they would have the whole summer to go back to the beautifully tragic romance they were both addicted to. Sighing, she placed her phone back onto her nightstand and settled herself back on to her stomach. Before closing her eyes, she brought her wrist to her lips and gave a small kiss to the infinity sign that was attached to the bracelet she hadn’t taken off since she got it a couple years ago. I hope you know that I will love you for infinity. Finally closing her eyes, she hugged another pillow to her side and whispered a sigh to the night. “And I will, too.”