#GET HIM ODY. GET HIM
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shout out to immortality meaning eternal torture instead of eternal life
#GET HIM ODY. GET HIM#you can't die? too bad#*stab stab stab*#“no please mercy”#*stabbity stab*#“stop this”#*stab* DIDN'T YOU SAY MERCY WAS WEAK???? *stab stab stab*#DID YOU STOP WHEN I BEGGED???? *stab stab stabbbbbbb*#“MONSTTERRRRRRRRRRR” *STAB STAB STAB*#epic the musical#the vengeance saga#epic odysseus#poseidon epic the musical#epic poseidon#six hundred strikes#nuclear war speaks#epic the musical spoilers
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don't you just hate it when you're just trying to get home but the spooky ghost prophet that looks like your bf gives you a cryptic prophecy about how you're gonna die or something
#my art#monosart#crk#cookie run#cookie run kingdom#pure vanilla cookie#shadow milk cookie#fount of knowledge#shadowvanilla#pureshadow#puremilk#bro this was just meant to be a silly drawing of pv as Tiresias not- whatever all this is 😭#something something almost every animatic design for Tiresias i see looks like it could easily pass as a design for human!pv#and i could not get that out of my head so uhhhh yeah.#smilk took over after i doodled him ONCE to ody's lines. now hes crashing out over a prophecy i guess#also i needed an excuse to draw more fount. maybe hit him a bit more with the trauma (as a treat)#probably couldve been better as an animatic but i am Not confident enough to do all that on just my phone
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I find this dichotomy so funny:
Odysseus, who has been in war for years and is quick to be crafty and trick his enemies: *laments and mourns giving up mercy and being forced to become the monster*
Telemachus, the one with a reputation of being small and weak with a good heart: *kills a man from behind while they’re distracted without any hesitation or remorse*
#like#granted#Telemachus does offer to spare the next ones and that backfires on him#but I’m pretty sure he did kill that first guy#and he said he wanted to fight monsters (literal and figurative) to bring light to the world#so he kept the mercy and kindness while also doubling down on the evils#like ody#I get why you went the way you did but#your son figured out how to keep both lmao#ah well#he’s home so now Telemachus can work with Athena on that kinder world she was talking about#so good for him lol#epic the musical#epic the ithaca saga#ithaca saga#telemachus#Odysseus#the odyssey#Athena
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Redrawing memes is my passion :)
#ody is just going for a nice swim guys#epic the musical#epic poseidon#epic odysseus#epic athena#get in the water#meme#this ain’t about him
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anyway au where odysseus saves his men by becoming zeus' winebearer for a year to spare ganymede some time to spend with his family. wine tastes better off the skin of kings apparently
#my art#crackship#odysseus#zeus#epic the musical#ody isn't good at this job#him and athena stare at each other like two surprised pikachu faces#still trying to design my zeus. more i want to change but i had to get this doodle out. goodbye
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TELEMACHUS AND ANTINOUS. FINALLY
#throwing a tiny bit of (NOT FULLY THOUGHT OUT AND VERY MUCH A WIP) info about them here for u guys#i was trying to figure out what the fuck antinous could do in this au#and then i was like oh wait monster hunter. obviously#so hes a monster hunter lol#<- this is actually sorta funny because the temporary odysseus lore i have is that he used to be a monster hunter at one point#and then he got bit on the job or something lol#aughhh this is very embarassing to admit but this whole au in my head is very heavily inspired by the danganronpa fic out for blood#so i will admit. i just stole hajimes backstory from that fic#btw you guys should read that fic. even if youre not into danganronpa it doesnt really rely on canon at ALL and its very good#anyways as a temporary thing i dont really think borrowing that matters#anyways monster hunter antinous just seems like the natural conclusion here idk idk#i dont really have a solid story in mind in general so im not worrying about how different aspects interact atm#anyways telemachus thoughts now#hes obviously still penelope and odys kid so. funny vampire/werewolf hybrid thing lets talk about that#so i imagine he takes after odysseus in MOST things. he is for all intents and purposes mostly just a werewolf#but ahh. ok i dont know werewolf lore so im gonna explain it#(its very much again just based on one really good danganronpa fic i read)#i think when turned its sort of like. a blackout blind rage. very little complex thought involved. just kill and maim etc#<- not getting too into it bc of tag limits. lmk if you want me to ramble about how werewolves in this au work though#anyways i think since telemachus isnt a full werewolf this doesnt fully apply to him#he may or may not have violent instincts but he could probably resist them and hes at least semi-aware when turned#anyways i think penelope dresses him. thats why hes so fancy. very much giving off heavy vampire energy despite barely being one#is he immortal* like a vampire? we dont know and were not gonna test it hopefully!#also he could probably drink blood he doesnt HAVE to though and he doesnt like the taste really. penelope does not get it </3#ok done rambling in the tags now time for art tags#doodles#epic the musical#epic monster au#antinous#telemachus
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yknow what i have been thinkin about.
(post-epic, somehow ody appears in the underworld again) hades: i don't know how you got here, but i think i know why. souls often yearn... for the place they died. ody: you're wrong, hades. i just stopped caring. hades: ... then is what i said truly wrong?
#i have so many more thoughts and feelings about this#how hades is instantly going to help him and how ody is going to break down because he ISN'T deserving of this#ody: how many more souls must i send down here to get it through to you?!#hades: ... one. and he is already here.#ANYWAYS.#ANYYYWAYS.#im on the floor.#OOC.#HADES. / posts.#ODYSSEUS. / posts.
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The doors to Olympus are sturdy and strong, given everyone's preferences for drama and slamming said doors open and sending them cracking into the wall whenever the opportunity arises. Which is why it's a surprise when they creak open during the once-a-decade pantheon meeting; less so because no entity worth their salt would take so long to open the doors, and more so because everyone who is anyone is already there.
But if everyone is being honest with themselves- which no one is, usually- these gatherings are boring enough that the bland conversation is dropped immediately in favour of craning their necks to catch a glimpse of whatever is coming to relieve them of their boredom.
When the doors finally open however, several of the pantheon murmur in surprise.
"Odysseus," Athena whispers, wide-eyed as she pushes herself off her throne to her feet. It is him- in the king's garb he was buried in but the face he has when he reached home, hair till the shoulders and speckled with grey, face oddly blank. His feet are transparent.
"What are you doing here, sceptre?" Poseidon booms, hair the color of a stormy sea. Zeus, beside him, looks reserved, observing the ghost with something approaching curiosity- eyes flicking to the lightning scars on his daughter's face and back. "Your time has long passed, and Hades-"
"It is a temporary agreement," Odysseus says curtly, barely sparing him a glance as he approaches his patron. "Athena."
Her armour clinks as she steps forward and the gods all twitch, trading glances. Owls are silent creatures- to have her aspect so affected to make noise was... uneasy to say the least. She even holds herself different than usual, something like confused delight shining in her eyes. "How did you-"
"Did you sleep with my wife?"
The throne room is silent. Several jaws drop.
Athena straightens back up, blinking in surprise. She looks a bit shifty, some of the nymphs closest whisper to each other, which- well, almost every single god present owed some part of their existence to the mere story of Odysseus loving his wife.
Would he fight his own patron goddess over it in front of Mount Olympus, though? He certainly was unbalanced enough; Athena herself looked rather uncertain of her odds, even though-
"Are you addled in death, King of Ithaka?" Artemis drawls, looking amused. "Did you forget that your own patron is celibate? Whatever rumor you-"
"No, I-" Athena says suddenly, shifting her spear to her other hand. "I did."
Artemis chokes on her breath and several assorted divine beings gasp in shock and the rest shouting for explanations, although everyone is nearly drowned out by Aphrodite's loud, "WHAT?"
Odysseus inhales sharply and pinches the bridge of his nose. "I cannot believe you."
"She asked-" Athena starts, only to be drowned out by the din of various beings screeching and shouting about the scandal.
"ATHENA!" Hera hisses, peacock tail fanning behind her sharply as she pushes herself up. "Explain yourself!"
Athena half-turns to face her, face creased in a frown. "Mother, I-"
"LET ME REPHRASE!" Odysseus cuts in loudly, and the shouting settles down into silence. He walks to his patron, eyes blazing. "I cannot believe," he throws his clenched fists wide as he growls the last word, "-you took Penelope to bed-" Athena surprisingly stays still as he reaches her, mouth falling open as he grabs her by the chiton to yank her down, uncaring of the gasps of horror from all around as he snarls, "-before you ever kissed me."
And then Odysseus grabs Athena by the face roughly and kisses her.
This time Aphrodite's shriek cannot be escaped by anyone.
"Aphrodite, please," Zeus says a few moments later, wincing as his throne reforms around him, stained oddly pink. Quite a few minor entities have discorporated, and the ones nearest to her are still trying to regenerate their hearing. "Control yourself."
Their eyes land back on where Athena has dropped her spear- dropped her spear, Ares in the corner seems to be having some minor hysteria over this, well warranted- and is also on the floor, still being thoroughly kissed by that insufferable, mannerless hero of hers, perched on her stomach to reach. Zeus inhales in fury, Poseidon close behind him as the shock wears off, lightning crackling around his fingers as he opens his mouth to shout- of all the indignities-
"If you two ruin this for me," Aphrodite thunders, warping in front of them and glaring. "I will make you both regret it."
Both gods visibly blanch at the threat, taken aback for one brief moment. Threats from Aphrodite are far worse than any of her more violent siblings, at the end of the day.
Zeus visibly gathers himself just as Athena's helmet clatters to the floor, and he gains a second wind immediately, eye twitching as he spreads a hand to the spectacle in the middle of the hall. "WHAT MANNER OF DISRESPECT IS THIS? TO BARGE INTO OUR MEETING AND THROW ONE OF THE OLDEST GODDESSES TO THE FLOOR LIKE A COMMON WENCH-"
"Zeus," Hera says quietly. Everyone falls silent, although it's not quite enough to stop the two tangled together on the ground. She clears her throat, which finally seems to get through to Athena, who had finally seemed to have gotten over her shock enough to reach out, hands hovering over Odysseus hesitantly. Still, at the noise she seems to remember herself, pushing herself up on an elbow and dislodging him enough to break their necking. He pouts at her, but Athena's eyes are too glazed over to notice, heaving for breath.
Hera opens her mouth to speak, crown manifesting on her brow as she steps in front of the throne, but closes it as the door rattles again.
This time, the spectre shimmers with a faint hint of scales that comes with a freshwater nymph's heritage and excited whispers starved for drama explode across the room as the Queen of Ithaka steps into the room, skirts hitched in her hand and panting as if she'd been running.
"Your Graces," She bows respectfully before entering, Spartan princess through and through, until she catches sight of her husband and Athena, the former of whom seems to have taken the opportunity to start kissing the wisdom goddess again, fingers in her curls.
"What are you doing?" She snaps, rushing over. The entire courtroom holds its breath. She slaps her husband upside the head, making him yelp and move back to shoot her a betrayed look. Athena looks even further dazed than before, cheeks red. "Argos has more manners than you! No wonder Lady Athena wanted nothing to do with you- ah, hello, darling, by the way."
"Penelope," Athena murmurs hoarsely, and the Queen of Ithaka leans down to kiss her as well.
Odysseus chuckles, then jumps with everyone else as Hera slams a hand down on the throne elegantly, cracking it to the base.
"Ah, goddess-" He says, clambering off Athena to bow.
"Silence," Hera interrupts, holding up a hand, eyes cold. "You will not say anything to me apart from an explanation. My agreement for your release from Ogygia was due to the assurance that your marriage was one of the truest I have ever witnessed, conveyed by Athena herself when bartered with all of us to let you go. Tell me, was it a ploy? Because from the disgraceful looks of it, this seems to not be the case in the slightest."
Odysseus frowns, face twisting in confusion. "Athena bartered with...?" He turns to look at his patron, who stares back, unspeaking. His eyes flicker to the lightning scar over her right eye as Penelope traces it with horrified eyes and a gentle thumb, and understanding seems to dawn.
For a moment, rage seems to fill him, glaring with a hatred towards Zeus that everyone whispered later wasn't met by the god king with anger, but a flicker of remorse- before he visibly throws it away behind Athena's old smile and bows.
"God-queen," He says formally, gracefully. Hera twitches a bit, and they'll all talk later about how odd it was to so clearly see Athena's younger mannerisms in the man, down to the curl of the letters. "My marriage to Penelope has never been false, never been broken, this I promise you." He takes Penelope's hand and squeezes it for emphasis, and she raises them as acknowledgement. "But... can you not argue that Athena has been part of our marriage all this time? From its start, where she advised me on courting and her on what to look for, to the twenty years she spent with both of us- me on the battlefield and Penelope in the court; to say nothing of how she helped raise our son and lived in our palace in the days after. And is she not so unbearably beautiful that even my Penelope couldn't wait-" He shoots a glare at her, which Penelope returns with a smile. "-when the chance was presented? How can you fault us for disgrace, after being so long apart from our wife?"
Hera raises both eyebrows at the impudence, the kind of disbelieving expression that hides a warning to tread carefully. "So you claim to be both married to Pallas Athena?"
"In every way that matters except legality," Odysseus says, fearlessly. He is dead, after all, what much can you do to a shade that they didn't already put him through when alive. He is sort of worried about Athena, though, as they both help her back to her feet, Penelope busy whispering compliments and updates and endearments in turn- she's not usually one to be quiet in face of a problem.
Hera tilts her head. "Ah, but you see. I need the legality, if I am to finally-" A helpless, excited smile pulls at her lips once, twice, before unfolding into a bright grin, peacock tails unfolding to their full wingspan. "-finally arrange for a marriage for my eldest daughter who has not once- oh finally, I can hardly believe this day has come-"
"I do not like the way you grabbed her, Sacker of Troy," Ares steps forward as Hera starts ranting half to herself, half to an equally loud assemblage of joyful entities about wedding arrangements, eyes narrowed.
Odysseus barks an incredulous, loud laugh, gesturing to Athena with a slightly crazed look in his eyes. "This lady has broken- and I do not exaggerate- every single bone in my body before I saw my sixteenth year. I have punched her a hundred times in the face when she taught me how to fight. We'll survive, thanks."
"That is fair," Ares steps back, hands raised.
"What duties will you provide as spouses, Ithakan Queen?" Hestia questions, stepping forward.
"Oh, the same we did when we were living," Penelope huffs a laugh. "Keep her busy, make her laugh, be of mild frustration to her, love her well, worship her-"
"I do not. Need to know," Hestia closes her eyes and raises a hand to cut her off, stepping back. Around them, the din catches speed and volume as no further objections arise, excitement spilling into the air.
"What is happening?" Athena says faintly, looking around as if she was just waking up.
"-oh, and we can get out the decor once more! Hebe, Aphrodite, loves, do you remember where we kept the fountains-"
"-finally, a reason to celebrate! Call them all out of hiding-"
"-can't believe this is finally happening, oh sister, what songs should we-
"Why am I getting married," Athena says with much more alarm and horror. She turns to Odysseus and shakes him by the shoulder, eyes wild. "What did you do?"
"Nothing!"
"How is this nothing? Do you have any idea the headache-"
"Athena, sweetheart, will you consider changing into that beautiful piece you made for the ceremony?"
Creakily, she turns her head to Hera, disbelief pasted across her face. "Mother," She says slowly. "They are both dead."
"Oh, I'll make a deal with Hades or something, you hush!" Aphrodite leans forward and snaps, before her irritation melts back into a manic joy. "Oh, what paint shall we do?"
Paint, Athena mouths, looking afraid for possibly the first time since her conception.
Penelope laughs and tugs on Athena's hand to make her turn, tucking dishevelled curls behind her ear. She wonders if the goddess knows how beautiful she is when she's flustered. "Take us away," She whispers. On Athena's other side, Odysseus leans against their patron with a besotted, helpless smile as he stares up at her, her helmet and spear in hand. She'd missed Athena like a limb, missed her deep laugh at night when they'd discussed the day's court, the dry jokes, the hands over hers as she weaved- but Odysseus wasn't himself without her, happy though they were in Hades' lands together, all of them.
"I'm-" Athena wavers, then looks around once more at all the excited screaming, something unreadable flashing in her eyes. Almost against her will, her eyes fall to Zeus, who is sitting silently and staring back at her. Poseidon looks like he still wants to start a fight, but clearly by his wary looks below can tell he will be heavily outnumbered by the overexcited crowd to not try, but Zeus just stares back at her, face blank of any emotion.
"We ask you formally this time," King Odysseus says, walking in front of her to take her attention away, holding onto her hand. His voice has strength in it, drawing the eyes of the murmuring crowd, but he's deaf to it as he stares up at her.
"Will you be our wife?" Queen Penelope asks, joining him, watching their beautiful patron shudder for breath she does not need as her eyes flick to one of them and then the other.
"Yes," She whispers and cheers erupt all across Mount Olympus.
"Finally!" Odysseus complains, and then pulls her down once more to kiss her, all three of them fading at the edges as one of the generous gods present there- who seems to realize that they're not very inclined to stop anytime soon- thankfully teleports them away into a nice room with a large bed.
"Finally," He whispers as he breaks apart to lay her down, cupping her face, voice heavy with the longing of a full lifetime and more. Penelope circles to the head of the bed and starts undoing Athena's braid, staring at them both lovingly.
Later the ones closest will murmur, as the silhouettes faded away, that tears had slipped from proud Pallas Athena's eyes as she placed one hand against Odysseus' cheek, trembling.
"I missed you," She will whisper back, and all three of them fade away to their own story, yet to be made.
#sorry athena ur not immune to the “when will u get married” mom speech#anyways i believe in demisexual athena amen#epic the musical#odysseus#penelope#athena#odypen#you know the eyes w spirals in anime thats athena after being kissed by her bff within an inch of her life on a regular tuesday#hera#woman is on CLOUD NINE she will literally kill anyone who gets in her way this time. the wedding is gonna be great.#aphrodite#< also going crazy shes been trying to matchmake her sister for a thousand years now#ares#< extremely conflicted. has never felt protectiveness for athena before this moment . also he wants eye bleach.#hestia#“HOW WILL THEY MAKE A HOME IN THE UNDERWORLD WHAT HEARTH-”#zeus#athena hasn't spoken to him since god games.#also tbc pen Didnt know ody and athena were Not Like That. she was convinced day one that they were a package deal.#and the two of them had literally Never considered it even though it was the norm! but once he finds out that Penelope did ody casually#just like. figures out a way to get to mount olympus from hades and storm in to plant one on her#athena x odysseus x penelope#< ig?? whats the ship name#to anyone who sees this vision. join me.#odyath#penath#odypenath#my fic
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Epic the musical side story where Hades and Persephone get really invested in the story during The underworld saga, sorta small talk about the strange man for the next couple of years, and then freak the fuck out in the audience during god games when they find out not only is the guy still alive, he’s managed to piss off like half the pantheon
Just
“Hey babe?”
“Yeah Perse?”
“There’s like, a bunch of mortals here”
“Mortals? What, how?”
“Idk, they’re like, on some ship”
“Huh. Should I call Thanatos, have him take care of it, or should we just wait it out”
“Call Thanatos, best to rid the garden of any pests before they manage to kill your flowers”
“Pfft, alright. I’ll be right back”
“Okay- wait. A bunch of the dead are singing to him”
“What?”
“Yeah like a bunch. Who are they?”
“Uhh, most of them drowned, a few killed by a cyclops. One broke his neck?”
“They’re singing about a cyclops, about how he let one live or something”
“Probably one of Poseidons. Should I still call Thanatos?”
“No wait, I wanna see where this goes.”
“Alright.”
“An infant, what infant?”
“Maybe the cyclops?”
“OH NEW GUY! He seems important!”
“Also a cyclops victim. They seem close, what do you think friend or lover?”
“They’re Greek, it’s probably both”
“I don’t know how he managed it, but this guy brought down like, the entire vibe of the entire underworld. That shouldn’t be possible”
“Yeah. Oh who’s this lady now?”
“Suicide by drowning. Not sure. Maybe a relative”
“Yeah may-THATS HIS MOM”
“OH MY GODS. OH HE DIDNT KNOW OH LORD”
“Hooooooly fuck, what a way to find out”
““Here in the underworld the past is always close behind”. Think we should make that a slogan?”
“Then we’d have to credit him and stuff tho”
“Yeahhhh. Well, seems like this guy is sticking around for a few hours. Should I grab some popcorn?”
“Yeah I’ll grab the fainting couches”
~~~
“Okay what’s happening now?”
“He just stated speaking to Tiresias”
“Tiresias? He went all the way to the underworld to speak with a prophet?”
“Well he is quite good”
“Wait did Tiresias just reject him?”
“I think so? Oh wait predictions”
“Past romance, sacrifice, betrayal, and some final battle? Who the fuck is this guy?”
“Dunno, but he’s not going home that’s for sure”
“Palace? He must be a king of some kind then”
“Do we know the names of any mortal kings”
“Nope, so that didn’t help at-wait his wife is doing what”
“Ohhh, that must be rough, hearing it from a prophet”
“Okay this chanting is getting intense. I think I heard the word Scylla”
“I heard lightning bolt”
“That doesn’t bode well”
~~~
“He’s just, sitting there”
“Is he done? Should we-oh. No okay new song, let’s see what’s going on”
“Man this guy has it rough. Should we like, do something?”
“I mean, I’m not really the “bless the mortals” type of god. I mean I let a guy borrow my helm once, and I haven’t seen it since. I should probably check up on that actually”
“Yeahhh. They killed a friend of the cyclops?”
“That explains all the cyclops victims”
““Witch turn men to pigs”, you think that’s Circe?”
“Sounds like he-WHAT WAS THAT THIRD ONE”
“You don’t think-?”
““God comes down and makes a fleet drown”, I am most definitely sure!”
“Damn. Wait wooden horse? Oh, I know who this guy is!”
“Really?”
“Yeah he’s one of Athenas warriors! Ody something. Odyssen? Odyssa? Whatever, I remember the horse thing was a big deal when it happened, Ares was pissed, Hermes spread the word to all of mount Olympus”
“One of Athenas eh? Interesting. Oh yeah, the god was definitely Poseidon”
“How are you sure?”
“That line he just sung, “Ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves”, Posy is always fucking saying that crap”
“500 men? Damn”
“Penelope, presumably the wife. Don’t know about the other guy tho”
“Either a son, brother, or lover. Or maybe just a friend I dunno”
“Another infant? What the fuck is wrong with this guy, pulling a fucking Hera”
“Gotta appreciate the determination of him”
“Yeah, but I think we’ll see him here again soon. If he’s pissed of Poseidon, and soon to be Zeus if Tiresias is to be believed, I don’t think he’ll get much further when he gets out of here”
“So we are letting him go”
“Yeah. Partly because I want to see what happens next. When he gets here we’ll ask him to tell the full story, from beginning to end”
“Alrighty then”
~~~
“I swear if I get dragged out of the underworld for one of Zeus’ little games one more time this year I might actually start a war”
“Mum keeps staring at me…fuck she’s probably gonna try and talk after this, fuck meeeeee”
“We can escape in the middle of it, no one will know”
“Oh she’ll know. Do you know what this is about like, at all?”
“No, but I think Hermes might launch into the fourth dimension if he keeps vibrating like that in his seat”
“Yeesh”
“Hmm, odd. I don’t see Posy anywhere”
“Maybe he’s competing?”
“Nah, he always declines when Zeus asks, he hates it”
“Why were you not invited?”
“Dunno, probably has nothing to do with me”
“Oh it’s starting, it’s starting”
“Athena’s challenging eh? Interesting”
“Would love to know what any of this is about”
“Mortal lover? Demi-god child? Those are the usual subject”
“Yeah but that’s not Athenas thing. Probably something to do with one of her “warriors” or whatever”
“Apollo, of course. Always has to be apart of these things”
“The drama queen”
“Truly”
“Hephasteus and Aphrodite? That’s a little awkward”
“Weird lineup so far- fucking Ares? Yeah shes not winning this one, sibling spite is stronger than any argument she can give”
“Why would all three of them be included. I can feel the tension from here. I’m uncomfortable”
“And Hera? Yeah no she’s loosing for sure, Hera like not care less about any mortal, unless they’ve offended her”
“She might be convinced, just to spite Zeus?”
“That just sounds unhealthy on so many levels”
“Alright let’s see what this is about”
“Hold up, Ody?”
“Oh my gods. You thinking what I’m thinking?”
“Well he was one of her warriors. Was he not?”
“I can’t believe he’s still trying to get home. It’s been like ten years, how the fuck”
“Well, if he pissed off Poseidon then he probably has something to do with it, the pissy bastard”
“Killed sirens. Why would you do that, so unnecessary”
“Sacrifice??? What the fuck is this man up to????”
“Didn’t we have a few Scylla sacrifices a few years back. Think that was him?”
“Holy shit we did. Yeah, Posy stays away from Scylla to the best of his ability, travelling in her domain to avoid him is not a bad idea”
“‘Phro is mad that his mum died? Girl you are grasping at straws, even more than the previous two”
“Hold up, why the fuck was I not invited?! He traveled through my domain, disturbed my souls, he even woke up Cerberus with his monster wailing, I should be apart of this!”
“I mean it’s a bit weak”
“I have more grounds to be down there than fucking Apollo. Like sirens? Come on man”
“Oh ‘Phro refused huh? Only got two, that’s kinda weak coming from Athena, she usually gets at least four”
“Is that cheating? Her quick thought thing. That cheating?”
“Are there any actual rules?”
“Just, try to win, I guess”
“Oh Ares turn. Wait she lost Aphrodite, this should be over”
“I think this is more of a personal thing. Like I said, sibling spite”
“Oh yeah, Scylla! Fuck this guy is getting around”
“Oh damn, that pissed her off”
“Guessing that the guy other that Penelope, Telemewhatever was his child then”
“Oh wait they yielded?? Huh, never thought that would happen”
“And, Heras turn”
“Yeah like I said she does not give a fuck. But it was a good run”
“Yeah, keeping her four out of five streak”
“Wait what the fuck was that”
“She- she actually yielded?”
“And for not cheating! Man I love this guy, I can’t wait for him to die”
“Only you babe. Wait holy fuck she won?”
“Oh Zeus won’t like- oh, just like I said. He’s pissed”
“Is he gonna kill her?”
“If he does I’ll just resurrect her probably. She deserves a better end, even if she is annoying”
“Well, should we go then?”
“Yeah I have some paperwork to- do I hear boss music?”
“OH SHES STILL ALIVE!!”
“She took a lightning bolt to the face and lived, holy fuck. Gotta respect it”
“I think, she’s actually convincing him? Never thought I’d see the day”
“Well, she’s his favourite child. I think if Ares tried something similar he’d just get struck by another lightning bolt”
“Well, that was fun. When I come back up for spring I’ll have to check with Hermes more about the details of what’s live, actually going on with this Ody dude”
“Yeah. Wanna stop for applebees before we head on down?”
“Yeah, but let’s go now cause mum is heading like right for me and I don’t wanna deal with that until another few months”
This was dumb lol
#Including some headcanons of mine#1. The god games are a regular competition thing that Zeus holds#There’s always one challenger and five competitors (Most of which are very biased in some way)#Before Athena nobody has ever won#2. The reason Poseidon wasn’t competing was because he doesn’t like it#He wasn’t in the audience either probably waiting for Ody to “Get in the water’’#3. When Hades looks at a dead soul he can immediately tell how they died#Like a little chat box appears in his field of vision just giving him info about the dead person#4. Applebees have existed for thousands of years#epic#epic the musical#tagamemnon#Hades#persephone#odysseus#epic the underworld saga#epic the wisdom saga#I think I’m funny
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Odysseus: demanding Athena take off whatever enchantment she put on him the second the situation ends.
Odysseus: who constantly reminds Athena that he has great plans to grow old and die with his wife so don't even think about getting any ideas.
Odysseus: side eye diomedes who has started fucking glowing he has so many enchantments on him: bro you should talk to Athena about getting those removed. You're going to end up immortal or some shit
Diomedes: who has been a solider since he was 5 who has intersting thoughts about his own personhood who has a much more traditional relationship with Athena and would rather literally stab his own eye out with a rusted sword than speak out of turn: I don't know what you're talking about
#odysseus#Diomedes#Athena#This is more pulling from my own headcanons than any source material#But I have a lot of feelings about the narritive physically changing a character and how well that works with the idea that#Becoming immortal is a slow process more of a slide than an abrupt change#And I have a lot of feelings about diomedes becoming immortal and how odysseus only ever wanted to be a man#And how diomedes was having a much more mortal experience and odysseus experiencing so much magic and monsters and gods#And how every step of the way diomedes only ever politely thanks Athena never argues only does his duty#And how nearly everything odysseus met tried to change him or keep him and how he fought against that with his whole being#Also a lot of feelings about the traditional reward for heros was immortality#This obviously does not include all the times Athena treated odysseus like a barbie doll because ody was 98% not aware of that#Athena post the whole ajax going insane thing: that was fun#Odysseus: great yah super fucking fun love when my allies go mad with desires to torture me to death BTW#Take off the invisibility spell I want nobody trace of it lingering on me I am remaining mortal if it kills me#Athena: definitely not pouting you're no fun one little spell isn't going to permanently alter you#Odysseus: I am not taking any chances any invisibility I have is going to be my own fucking skill and your excellent training not magic#Diomedes: internally:after getting the ability to see through illusions and see gods#Should I mention this to Pallas Athena? Did she mean for me to keep it? Is it bad if I keep using it?#Is it even more disrespectful to not use it? Surely she is aware that I still have this? Surely it would be an insult to her intelligence#To remind her that would be casting doubt on her memory and perhaps it is part of a plan and#Who am I to question pallas athenas plans who am I but her devout weapon better to not mention it or any of the other lingering magics#Diomedes realizing a hundred years after the fact that he is in fact immortal: ....should I mention this?#Athena finds it funny to try to sneak magic onto odysseus it's a game for them because their both rat bastards#But not post odyssey it's just triggering then#Actual child solider diomedes#Greek myths
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After Ody gets home and, of course, slaughters all the suitors and reunites with his wife and son, that man absolutely sat down with a council and immediately pulled out schematics, like:
"Cool, cool. So, first things first: We're building new temples for Athena and Hermes. What? Placement? Oh, yeah... Just knock down the Poseidon one. It's fine. I stabbed that God, like, 20 times into submission. Pretty sure that means the ocean is my b*tch now....And f*ck that guy anyways, am I right? So, for Athena's temple, I'm definitely thinking blue✨-"
#epic the musical#Odysseus#Hermes#Athena#Ody just going around Ithaca for the next few months of his mental recovery like he's in a home remodel show with the temples#I love the idea of Hermes and Athena fist bumping in their sweet new temples- waving at Uncle Poseidon glaring at them from the water#I feel Ody would feel the need to thank them in some way since they actively were helpful to him?#Mythology tells us that gods f-ing love temples#Yeah yeah he'll fix up the palace and deal with the food stores and all that too- but first: which shade of green would Hermes like more?#Ody: F it. I'll just ask him-- GRAMPS!!!#But srsly why is Poseidon just cool with getting stabbed? I would be concerned about retribution and the raising of the tides once he heals#But i guess Ody isn't?? So yeah screw it- do whatever he wants now. Kill all the cyclops. Why not?#All he hears are screams- and he's jamming out
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(Odysseus is jetpacking back to Ithaca, then senses someone behind him and glances. Sees no one. Does this for the next several hours. On the 50th time, he sees someone.)
Ares (gives an excited wave and thumbs up)
Odysseus (gives a confused wave in return)
(Odysseus keeps flying, but he can't shake the tagging along immortal)
Odysseus: Umm, what are you waiting for?
Ares: I don't know. Something amazing, I guess.
#epic the vengeance saga#epic the musical#epic#vengeance saga#epic odysseus#epic ares#the incredibles#pixar the incredibles#incorrect quotes#you've impressed him now Ody#there's no getting rid of him
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EPIC:
Athena: Father, can you release my old friend from his prison? Please?
Zeus: Sure, if you fight your brothers and sisters and win.
(2:45 minutes later)
Athena: Alright I did it!!
Zeus: BITCH WHAT THE FUCK 🖕⚡️
Odyssey:
Zeus: ahdhhshdkdjd look at this stupid mortal. Aegisthus. Dumbass.
Athena: Yeah yeah him, I’m still thinking about my friend and his suffering…remember him? Do you not even care about him?
Zeus: Oh, that guy? Yeah, of course I remember him. He’s smart. But Poseidon’s still pissy about it, so. I guess we gotta figure out how to get him home.
Athena: Hell yeah! Hey, HEY HERMES! Aight I’m to Ithaca to talk with his son (laces up godly sandals)
#It was literally him that suggested getting Ody off#Also yeah I’m reading the Odyssey 🎉#emily wilson#epic#epic incorrect quotes#epic god games#god games#odyssey#homers odyssey#the odyssey#odysseus#epic odysseus#zeus epic#epic zeus#athena epic#epic athena#athena
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One of my favourite things in the iliad is when odysseus calls himself the father of telemachus
“If I find out that you continue acting as stupidly as you are doing now, I hope my head stops resting on my shoulders, and let Odysseus no more be called the father of Telemachus, unless I grab you, rip your cloak and tunic off, expose your private parts, and beat you up, humiliating you with blows.” (Book 2, 314-321)
“If you have any interest, you will see the loving father of Telemachus beside the foremost warriors, and fighting the Trojan horsemen.” (Book 4, 468-470)
Like everyone else calls him cunning odysseus or scheming odysseus or favoured by athena or any other of the many epithets he has, but odysseus sees himself as nothing more than telemachus’ father. He has been at war for nine years and still all he can think about is his son at home who is waiting for a man he doesn’t know. He directly ties his identity to his only son and I think that’s so fucking cute
#there is a lot to be said about fatherhood in the iliad and the epic cycle in general#odysseus and telemachus as we see here#hector cuddling astyanax in my favourite scene in the entire book#priam appealing to achilles by reminding him of his father#diomedes being constantly compared to his father#neoptolemus following in the footsteps of his father#etc etc. I could go on forever#perhaps I will make a different post about that lol#also that first quote is funny as hell#hell yeah ody get his ass#the iliad#odysseus#telemachus#tagamemnon
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In your Odysseus of Troy au what's the relationship between Telemachus and Paris.
Does Telemachus like him or he hates him for making his dad sad?
And does Paris really want Telemachus to be his son or does he just see him as a tool to make Troy stronger?
Unserious answer:
Paris: Your atta will love me, right? He was literally given to me to love me.
Telemachus, booping his nose: Bah!
Paris: I'll take that as a yes.
Serious answer:
Paris' first son was Corythus. How old was he when Paris left him & Oenone? As old as Telemachus was when taken from Ithaca and his mother's arms? Was he big enough to take his first steps but small enough for Paris to carry on his back while he herded sheep?
One thing's for sure: Corythus is more likely to know Paris' back than his face. And that's arguably more painful than a child not knowing what their father looks like, period.
Paris insists that Telemachus is his son. He is besotted with the babe, fawns and dotes on him, spoils him with the luxuries and riches Paris himself never got to enjoy in his childhood.
But at his core, Paris views Telemachus as a second chance; a do-over at best & a replacement at worst. If he can be a good father to this boy, who is not his blood, surely it means something, it means he's not a horrible person, not a complete failure, it means he can atone somewhat-
Still, anyone can sire a child, but it takes a man to be a father. And Paris, as many were wont to remind him, was no man.
Telemachus Pasipheros wasn't living up to his name as his wailing continued. He's been fussy for days and fitful for nights, irritable when not clingy and the fact that Paris was the one who reacted fast enough to grab the boy before Odysseus could spoke volumes of the Ithacan's exhaustion.
The prince struggled to keep a squirming Pasipheros on his lap as the boy howled and howled like a little wolf into his ears so loudly, Paris wouldn't be surprised if his earrings were caked in blood after this. Offered toys were smacked or tossed aside, words of comfort drowned under the child's woes and more and more stares were drawn towards the eye of the storm Paris was suffocating in.
"Hush, hush....." Paris murmured, awkwardly bouncing the fussy toddler.
"NO! NOOOOOOO!" Pasipheros roared with the raw ferocity of a wronged child. "NO! NO! NO!"
"Don't shout." it was almost as horrible as the eyes picking him apart with vulture-like precision. "Don't-"
Pasipheros' hand smacks him in the eye as his tantrum reaches a volume loud enough to make Hector visibly cringe.
"CORY, PLEASE!" Paris snapped.
Silence, at last.
But it was far from a reprieve.
Paris opened his misty eyes (when had they closed?) and the sight of Hector's furrowed brows and pinched lip, Andromache's tense shoulders and Odysseus' penetrating gaze, that damn eye the silver of arrowheads rather than coins, almost made him wish Pasipheros' hand had simply gouged both his eyeballs out to spare him this.
Pasipheros' lips quivered, fat tears spilling past chubby cheeks as he cried, softer than his previous sounds, and all the more damning for it.
"It's his nap time." Odysseus said and his son is in Charis' arms before he even finishes talking. "If you'll excuse us."
"Of course." Andromache waved them away while Hector continued to look at Paris with eyes too pitiful to be a glare but too tense to be anything resembling comfort.
Paris also leaves, but does not follow Odysseus. That night, he finds another wooden sheep on his pillow. He adds the figurine to his growing flock.
Odysseus and Pasipheros spend the next day in the nursery. Paris doesn't visit them. He sits in the courtyard alone, and the silence is still no less damning than before.
#epic the musical#odysseus of troy au#paris of troy#telemachus#odysseus#hector of troy#andromache#oc#asks#charis is ody's handmaiden & one of the few ppl he trusts#telemachus was likely fussy bcz he was undergoing a growth spurt & well he's a CHILD#welcome to parenting paris#he's the kinda parent who gets his kid expensive but unthoughtful gifts#because luxury was love right? it was good enjoyable what better gift could there be?#he wants to do right so badly but always does it wrongly#does that make him terrible? *shrugs* does it change/undo the consequences of his screw ups? hell no#oh to fail at doing what you want to do most
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thinking about how Amphinomus is the first man Telemachus ever killed. thinking about how he died out of Telemachus’s protectiveness for his father. thinking about how that was his warning shot. thinking about—
#in the legend Amphinomus is a bit more tragic because he was one of the last ‘nice’ suitors and ho even came at Telemachus’s defense#he was also VERY against Antinous’s plan to kill the prince#he was on the ‘hey guys :) but hat if we tried getting on the royal family’s good side :)’#and even Ody SAW that kindness and (while disguised) urged him to leave before the bloodshed#but Athena influenced him to stay#because good character or no#Amphinomus was still a suitor#he was still someone wanting the hand of Penelope#he was still a bystander to everything#and he was Telemachus’s first kill#anyway that isn’t relevant to the musical but it still makes me insane#epic the musical#epic the ithaca saga
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