#Generator load monitoring

[ashiprogoez]

Generator Load Monitoring: Ensuring Optimal Performance and Reliability

Generators are the unsung heroes of critical power infrastructure, providing backup or primary energy in hospitals, data centers, construction sites, and remote facilities. But owning a generator isn't enough—monitoring the load it carries is vital to ensure long-term performance, fuel efficiency, and operational reliability. Generator load monitoring is the process of tracking how much electrical load a generator is handling during operation. Without it, you risk running the generator inefficiently—either underloading, which causes engine damage over time, or overloading, which can lead to overheating, failure, or dangerous shutdowns. In this blog, we’ll explore how generator load monitoring works, why it matters, and the best tools and practices to implement it.

What Is Generator Load Monitoring?

Generator load monitoring involves measuring the real-time electrical demand placed on a generator. It includes parameters such as:

Current (Amps)

Voltage (Volts)

Real Power (kW)

Apparent Power (kVA)

Power Factor

Frequency (Hz)

This data helps determine whether the generator is operating within its optimal range, adjusting for fluctuations in load, and identifying potential issues before they lead to failure.

Why Generator Load Monitoring Matters

1. Prevents Overloading and Failure

Generators have a maximum rated capacity. Exceeding this limit can trip protection circuits or cause mechanical and electrical damage. Monitoring ensures you're always within safe limits.

2. Avoids Wet Stacking in Diesel Generators

Running diesel generators under very low loads (<30% of rated capacity) for extended periods can cause wet stacking—unburned fuel accumulates in the exhaust, leading to fouled injectors, reduced efficiency, and costly maintenance. Load monitoring helps maintain proper loading levels.

3. Improves Fuel Efficiency

Generators run most efficiently at around 70–80% of their rated load. Monitoring allows operators to balance fuel consumption with output, reducing waste and operational costs.

4. Extends Generator Lifespan

By preventing extremes of underload and overload, load monitoring helps reduce wear and tear, extending the usable life of the generator and its components.

5. Ensures Readiness in Backup Systems

For standby generators, load monitoring confirms that the system is ready to perform in the event of a power outage. Load banks and periodic testing can simulate real loads for verification.

Key Features of Load Monitoring Systems

When selecting a generator load monitoring system, look for:

Real-time monitoring: Continuous data for live feedback

Multi-parameter logging: Current, voltage, power, power factor, frequency

Alarm thresholds: Alerts for over/underload, phase imbalance, or abnormal conditions

Remote access and reporting: Cloud or network-based systems for off-site monitoring

Data logging and analytics: Trend analysis for predictive maintenance

Compatibility with ATS and control panels: Seamless integration with generator management systems

Tools Used for Generator Load Monitoring

1. Power Meters and Load Analyzers

Permanently installed or portable devices that measure load in real-time. Some advanced models include data logging and waveform capture.

2. Generator Control Panels with Monitoring Modules

Modern gensets often include built-in digital displays or connect to supervisory systems like SCADA for comprehensive load tracking.

3. Wireless Load Monitoring Solutions

Ideal for remote or temporary generator setups, wireless systems transmit data to cloud dashboards or mobile apps.

4. Load Banks (for Testing)

Used to simulate electrical loads during commissioning or maintenance, ensuring the generator performs well under expected real-world conditions.

Best Practices for Generator Load Monitoring

Install load monitors at the output panel or transfer switch to capture accurate usage data

Establish baseline load expectations based on peak and average demands

Set up alarms to detect load issues before they escalate

Review logs periodically to identify trends or load growth

Run generators under optimal load conditions (30–80%) during routine operation

Conduct regular load bank testing for standby generators that rarely run under load

Applications Where Load Monitoring Is Critical

Hospitals and Healthcare Facilities: Life-support systems depend on uninterrupted power

Data Centers: Power fluctuations can damage servers and cause data loss

Construction Sites: Portable generators need regular monitoring due to varying load

Manufacturing Plants: Heavy machinery places inconsistent demand on power systems

Telecommunication Hubs: Ensure uptime during outages in remote towers

Oil & Gas Operations: Maintain reliability in isolated, off-grid environments

Final Thoughts

Generators are a crucial asset, but without proper load monitoring, their performance and longevity can be compromised. Generator load monitoring ensures that power is delivered efficiently, reliably, and safely—no matter the application. Whether you’re running a temporary generator on a job site or maintaining backup power in a critical facility, investing in the right monitoring tools and practices is the key to uninterrupted power and peace of mind.

[electronalytics]

AMF Generator Set Controllers Market Overview Outlook, Analysis, Trends, Demand, Opportunity, Forecast by 2032

Market Overview:

The AMF (Auto Mains Failure) generator set controllers market refers to the segment of the power generation industry that deals with controlling and monitoring backup generator sets in the event of a mains power failure. These controllers automatically start and synchronize the generator sets, ensuring a seamless transfer of power during outages.

Key Factors Driving the AMF Generator Set Controllers Market:

1. Growing Need for Reliable Backup Power: The AMF generator set controllers market is primarily driven by the need for continuous power supply across a variety of industries, including commercial, industrial, and residential. When the mains power goes out, these controllers automatically and effectively transfer power, guaranteeing ongoing operations.

2. Expansion of vital Infrastructure: Reliable backup power solutions are necessary for the growth of vital infrastructure, including data centres, hospitals, and telecommunication networks. During power outages, AMF generator set controllers are essential for managing the backup power systems and ensuring smooth power transmission.

3. Severe Regulations on electricity Quality and Reliability: Authorities are enforcing severe regulations on electricity quality and dependability. The provision of AMF generator set controllers aids in upholding the necessary power standards.

4. An increase in the frequency of natural catastrophes: As the frequency of natural disasters like hurricanes, earthquakes, and storms has increased, so has the demand for dependable backup power systems. AMF generator set controllers make sure that backup generators synchronise and start automatically, supplying power right away in emergency situations.

5. Growing Adoption of backup Generators: The need for AMF generator set controllers is being driven by the growing installation of backup generator sets in a variety of industries, including commercial buildings, healthcare facilities, and manufacturing facilities. During power outages, these controls allow standby generators to run without a hitch.

6. Technological Advances in Controller Functionality: Remote monitoring, diagnostics, and predictive maintenance capabilities are just a few of the functional improvements being made to AMF generator set controllers. These characteristics improve the effectiveness and dependability of backup power systems, driving their adoption.

7. Energy Efficiency and Environmental Sustainability are a Priority: Energy efficiency and environmental sustainability are now major factors in the production of electricity. AMF generator set controllers provide functions like load management and optimised power transfer, which save energy and have a smaller negative impact on the environment.

8. Integration with Smart Grid Systems: The AMF generator set controllers' integration with smart grid systems allows for effective load balancing and power management. By ensuring appropriate backup power resource utilisation, this integration also improves the grid's overall stability.

9. There is a rising need for hybrid power systems: which combine backup generators and renewable energy sources like solar and wind. In order to manage the synchronisation and power transfer between various energy sources and create hybrid systems, AMF generator set controllers are crucial.

10. Market expansion for rental electricity: is being driven by demand from building sites, special events, and temporary power requirements. In rental power systems, AMF generator set controllers are essential for automatic power transfer and stable backup power.

Trends :

IoT and cloud computing integration: AMF generator set controllers are being connected with IoT devices and cloud-based platforms to enable remote monitoring, data analytics, and preventative maintenance. This pattern increases operational effectiveness, lowers downtime, and increases system reliability.

Improved User Interface and User Experience: Manufacturers are putting more effort into creating graphical displays, touchscreens, and user-friendly interfaces for AMF generator set controllers. This tendency makes things easier to use and improves the user experience as a whole.

Demand:

Wireless communication in AMF generator set controllers is becoming more and more necessary. Wireless communication makes it possible for controllers, remote monitoring devices, and control centres to exchange data in real-time, increasing system accessibility and flexibility.

Referrals to our Stringent datalytics company, trade journals, and websites that focus on market reports are encouraged. These sources frequently include thorough research, market trends, growth projections, competition analysis, and other insightful information about this market.

You can investigate the availability of particular reports linked to this market by going to our website or getting in touch with us directly. We offer thorough and in-depth information that might be helpful for firms, investors, and individuals interested in this industry, but these reports frequently need to be purchased or subscribed to.

“Remember to look for recent reports to ensure you have the most current and relevant information.”

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Market Segmentations:

Global AMF Generator Set Controllers Market: By Company

• CRE TECHNOLOGY

• Kutai Electronics Industry Co., Ltd.

• S.I.C.E.S.

• bernini design srl

• Emko Elektronik A.Ş.

• Kadimendium

• DATAKOM ELECTRONICS ENGINEERING A.S

• Deep Sea Electronics

• ComAp

Global AMF Generator Set Controllers Market: By Type

• Automatic

• Manual

Global AMF Generator Set Controllers Market: By Application

• Power Industry

• Government and Utilities

Global AMF Generator Set Controllers Market: Regional Analysis

North America: The North America region includes the U.S., Canada, and Mexico. The U.S. is the largest market for Muscle Wire in this region, followed by Canada and Mexico. The market growth in this region is primarily driven by the presence of key market players and the increasing demand for the product.

Europe: The Europe region includes Germany, France, U.K., Russia, Italy, Spain, Turkey, Netherlands, Switzerland, Belgium, and Rest of Europe. Germany is the largest market for Muscle Wire in this region, followed by the U.K. and France. The market growth in this region is driven by the increasing demand for the product in the automotive and aerospace sectors.

Asia-Pacific: The Asia-Pacific region includes Singapore, Malaysia, Australia, Thailand, Indonesia, Philippines, China, Japan, India, South Korea, and Rest of Asia-Pacific. China is the largest market for Muscle Wire in this region, followed by Japan and India. The market growth in this region is driven by the increasing adoption of the product in various end-use industries, such as automotive, aerospace, and construction.

Middle East and Africa: The Middle East and Africa region includes Saudi Arabia, U.A.E, South Africa, Egypt, Israel, and Rest of Middle East and Africa. The market growth in this region is driven by the increasing demand for the product in the aerospace and defense sectors.

South America: The South America region includes Argentina, Brazil, and Rest of South America. Brazil is the largest market for Muscle Wire in this region, followed by Argentina. The market growth in this region is primarily driven by the increasing demand for the product in the automotive sector.

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[dsiddhant]

The global Power Management System Market is projected to reach USD 7.5 billion in 2028 from USD 5.8 billion in 2023 at a CAGR of 5.4% according to a new report by MarketsandMarkets™.

[carmenlikeme]

The decision to have a second child with Robby isn't an easy one.

You both want to. Your first baby was and still is your biggest blessing; you would never regret them, and there wasn't a moment when you didn't think about having another baby. At least two children. Three, if you felt like you could survive not sleeping for over 12 consecutive years.

But your first pregnancy had been so difficult for you, you had doubts.

Well, Robby had doubts.

During your first trimester, you were barely able to drink water before wanting to throw up. Dana recommended some anti-nausea medication, and Robby decided to pick up the least amount of shifts he could to make sure you were okay, always by your side, and just right behind you as you collapsed on the tiled floor.

Your second trimester was a bliss, full of cute pictures, early maternity shoots, and an intimate gender reveal where Robby cried his eyes out after finding out he was gonna become a girl dad. Endless purchases and moodboards for the nursery. You couldn't ask for anything better.

Then, the third trimester came, and with that, the early-onset preeclampsia.

You spend most of your days in bed now, just standing up to go to the bathroom, and even then, you're being looked after when you walk, even for a few steps. When you are close to 34 weeks, you both decide to admit you to the hospital for monitoring, and Robby feels so much better knowing you're only a few floors away.

That's why he looks so stressed, speaking to Dana about how you both want it, but you might consider adoption to avoid putting you at risk once more. Javadi is close by, and before she can stop herself, she opens her mouth to speak.

"Dr. Robby, did you know that 13% of preeclampsia cases are attributed to paternal factors? There's this study that says that while women's genetics are the most important, if the father was born from a pregnancy with preeclampsia. It's generally attributed to 13% from the father, there's another..."

"Hey, crash! I need your help!" Santos interjects, pulling her by her sweatshirt and dragging her away against her will.

Robby stands still next to Dana, who isn't sure if she should kill Victoria just yet. He pauses, tries to find something to say.

"Is that true?" he asks.

"What's true?" Samira joins the conversation, a tablet in her hand. "Mr. Murphy is ready for discharge."

"Javadi just said preeclampsia can be attributed to paternal factors," he says, his tone is almost sarcastic.

"Oh, yeah. There are a lot of new studies about that, also about how paternal diet, mental health, and exercise habits can have an impact on a pregnancy. There's also a greater risk of a premature birth if the father is over 45, so..."

The rest of the conversation and the day go by in a blink. Robby goes home defeated. And there you are, the TV is on, but you're fast asleep with your baby girl on your chest. He smiles, and for a moment, he forgets about the thing that almost made him spiral.

You wake up 30 minutes later. He's cleaning, and you're sure there's a new load of laundry already in the washer. You want to stand up, but your baby is just so comfortable there, you don't wanna wake her up.

"Good morning, love," he says when he walks back into the room. He leans in, careful enough not to disturb his daughter, and kisses you softly. "I missed you two."

"Thank god you have the weekend off," you whisper. "She didn't take a nap today."

"Well, she's almost one. She wants to conquer the world, but her body isn't letting her. Now that she's walking, she'll be unstoppable."

He sits next to you, and even as careful as he is, your baby wakes up. Her bright eyes open, Robby immediately grabs her from your chest and pulls her onto his.

"Show daddy your new shirt, baby," you say. She's still sleepy, but immediately cries when she is far away from you. She cries and tries to crawl back to you immediately. "This kid, she wouldn't even let me go to pee for two seconds."

She sits up on your lap, and it's only then that Robby pulls down her shirt to see it. His hand stays there, frozen, as he reads the words over and over again. He feels like choking up. It's like you're both back in your old apartment, cramped in the tiny bathroom as you wait for the pregnancy test results.

Best Big Sister.

He doesn't know how long it takes him to turn to you, but there you are, holding a pregnancy test that says "Pregnant. 3-4 weeks". You're crying, and he doesn't know when he started crying with you.

"Surprise!" you whisper, choked up. "I guess it's happening."

He kisses you again, this time he takes his time, despite how much your daughter babbles and screams. Just for a second, he kisses you like the world is about to end in just a moment.

"I guess it is."

Nothing matters, just for a second. It's just him, you and your little family.

© CARMENLIKEME 2025. All rights reserved. Do not repost, modify or claim as yours.

[theprettynosferatu]

Cover: @snootieenoot as Mia West

Breast Size and Cognitive Ability: A Rebuttal

Prof. Mia West

Overview and Project Objectives

This work originates from the publication of Prof. Lawson’s paper Breast Size and Cognitive Ability last month (Lawson, Breast Size and Cognitive Ability, Northwestern Journal of Science, 2025) and the ensuing discourse it has elicited both in the scientific community and society at large. Not only do we find it socially and politically harmful, but either intellectually dishonest or frankly substandard in both reasoning and the basic principles of experimental science.

Prof. Lawson posits that breast size in females is negatively correlated with academic ability and general I.Q. As this work will show, not only is Lawson’s methodology ruefully unsound, but his conclusions are so implausible one can only assume that, by his own logic, Professor Lawson must himself possess an impressive set of mammaries to believe such scholarship deserves serious consideration.

It is the objective of this paper to, entertaining such ludicrous premises, empirically disprove Prof. Lawson’s thesis on its own terms and hopefully set the matter to rest permanently.

Methodology

A research team comprised of four highly accomplished female experts (see Appendix A: Team Background and Initial Cognitive Tests), including the author, will take it upon ourselves to test Dr. Lawson’s hypothesis in a controlled, verifiable and reproducible basis. Having established a baseline for cognitive ability, we must consider the second element of Dr. Lawson’s proposed correlation; as we’re sure he’ll lament (given his manifest interests) all members of the team possess what can commonly be referred to as a modest chest size (see Fig.1: Team’s Initial Measurements).

In order to modify this factor gradually, we will be using Dr. Joanna’s Marsh experimental Focused Hormone Enhancement System, or FHES, which has shown remarkable results, even in its early stages of development (see Marsh, FHES Preliminary Observations, Oberlin, 2024).

Weekly breast measurements, as well as tests on cognitive ability, will be performed to track any changes in the research team, or most likely, lack thereof (at least in the intellectual side of Lawson’s correlation). Additionally, this author will provide any observations and comments that might be relevant to the purview of this paper. 

Observations: One Week Under the Effects of FHES

Initial results show that the effectiveness of Dr. Marsh’s compound not only meets the expectations established in her paper but, in the present use case, surpasses them (see Fig.2: Team’s Measurements, Week 1). All four team members have been forced to acquire new brassieres to work comfortably. 

A common reported side effect among the team is a degree of difficulty maintaining focus on complex tasks for even moderate periods of time- what is referred to as “brain fog” in common parlance. While not debilitating, this phenomenon has increased the difficulty inherent in writing a clear, concise overview. It does not, however, seem to be accompanied by physical exhaustion- activities which require movement have not been reported by the team as feeling more taxing.

We attribute this “brain fog” to the adaptation to the new hormonal load, and we expect it to subside soon. This also explains the slight decrease in the result of the team’s cognitive tests (see Appendix B: Cognitive Tests, Week 1).

Of additional note is that the team has experienced a slight but constant emission of clear, vaginal fluid. Testing shows it to be harmless and indeed to be the kind of fluid generated for lubrication normally during intercourse or arousal in general. We believe this to also be merely a temporary hormonal adjustment, but will keep monitoring it in the following weeks.

   Observations: Two Weeks Under the Effects of FHES

The effectiveness of FHES continues to astho asst surprise the team. Our tits breasts have expanded massively (See Fig 2: Team Measurements, Week 2), to the point that our standard lab uniforms no longer fit our curvy bodies and feel too tight and not in a cute way. To remedy this, the team was forced to go out and purchase new, more fitting and fashionable clothes (See Fig 3: Team Dressing Room Selfies). Obviously, new make-up was also necessary to match the vibe of the new fits, especially the goth-style gram garnm clothes chosen by April which just called out for some striking black eyeliner and a lighter shade of base. We collectively observed that the combination of her new clothes and make-up work really, really well on her: it’s giving bratty sub, as can be confirmed (See Fig. 4: April’s Selfies and Cute Pics Taken By Mia).

The Brain Fog is still there, probably because of the hormones and all other stuff, but the team reports it to be a pleasant sensation. While it makes writing these reports hard, it’s not really bad- more like floating in a pink, fluffy cloud. Prof. Lawson’s idea that tit size makes women dumber is still unproven, as the Pink (that’s what we have taken to calling the Brain Fog) is for sure the result of the treatment, not an effect of increased chest size. There are plenty of smart women with big boobs, after all, and I know for a fact Dr. Lawson has watched their videos on several adult sites. These women’s success in such a competitive industry is surely proof of their intelligence.

The constant most moiz wetness appears to have caused a few incidents among the team, since it now also involves an increased sensitivity and level of arousal. The distraction of feeling one’s pussy so needy all the time explains the lower test results this week (See Appendix C: Cognitive Tests, Week 2), as well as some notable events that took place this week.

It would be unprofessional to omit those events in this observation, so I’ll recount them as accurately as I possibly can. On Tuesday, before we went shopping, I walked into the Substance Storage Unit and encountered April and Sophia looking at a tablet. While I couldn’t see the screen, the video playing was at full volume, and I could make out the sound of a slut woman gurgling and choking on what, I can only assume, was a truly large cock penis. My teammates had both removed their (ugly) uniform pants, and unbuttoned their shirts (as mentioned, they had by this point become very uncomfortable, so that’s understandable). They were engaging in mutual masd mutul mmmmm fingering each other, drooling and moaning like stupid cunts in a way that showed their excitement. They shouted encouragement at the performer on the screen, which I feel demonstrates a high capacity to focus on engaging tasks; their choice of phrases (“take it deep you stupid bitch”, “fucking choke in it you dumb cow”, “use her fucking throat as a fleshlight!”) also proves their creativity. Witnessing this event produced a very strong effect on myself, but I managed to sneak into the bathroom before shoving my fingers inside my soaked pussy thus obtaining temporary relief.

Fuck. Okay, rubbing break over. Time to go back to writing.

A second incident took place on Friday. By then we had acquired new wardrobes, and the act of dancing, strutting and showing each other our new looks might have affected some team members in an unexpected manner. While we all identify as heterosexual, seeing our colleagues’ tight fucking bodies and huge, firm funbags aesthetic choices proved to be a stimulating experience. My recollection of events remains fuzzy, but I’m pretty sure I made out with April and at some point Hannah poured beer over April’s tits and I lapped it up and then sucked on her nipples while I rubbed myself silly and Sophia was filming on her phone so we both put on a show and I’m pretty sure she sent the video so someone but i don’t care encounters of an erotic nature may have taken place.

As each team member has clearly settled on a particular preference regarding their appearance, we have ordered more clothes and toys for the experiment.

We are confident that once our amazing bodies have adapted to the hormone treatment, such incidents will not reoccur. 

NOTE TO SELF: MIA, REMEMBER TO ERASE THE STRICKEN PARTS BEFORE UPLOADING UPDATE!!!

 Observations: Two Weeks Three Weeeks Under the Effects of FHES

So I have to write this to keep you updated because it’s my job and I’m a professional and stuff so ehre it goes. We had like massive tits before but now they are so huge and sensitibe and spectacular and they feel kind of like giant clits so I guess the copm compoud the thing we take to make them grow is also making them feel super good! We tried to take measurements but the tape rubbing against out funbags feels too good and we get distracted and we have to take care of that so we figured we’d just send you some nudes so you can see how much our stupid bimbo tits have expanded (see sexy pics attached) because we are not dumb and pics are better than illustrated numbers anyway. We got a bit carried away with the pics but I hope you’ll enjoy them! In like, a scientific way. Duh.

Reading back I guess I was keeping track of the Pink? I think? It’s hard to understand what I wrote before. So like, the Pink. It’s kinda hard to explain but it feels so fucking good, like we’re all so happy and floating and horny all the time and nothing feels super important anymore except doing whatever feels good at the moment, with whoever or whatever is around. We stopped storing the toys because having them all over the lab is super useful to play with one another or to just bounce on a big dildo looking at the tasty porn on the screens.

Oh shit I forgot to explain the porn thing! So like, we noticed that we can focus on porn a lot better than on boring lab stuff and we’re trying to demn demos prove big boobs don’t make sluts dumb so having porn blasting in every screen means we have something to keep us concentrated and so we’re not dumb because we can keep our attention on stuff. And we can like, really really watch porn. It’s like… we’re not just watching it with our eyes, we’re taking it in with our entire bodies and the Pink makes it so much better because it’s like the porn gets inside us and makes us better and we feel so, so good!

And another thing that proves we may be stupid cunts but we’re not dumb is that we learn really, really fast. We just left the pron running and the site kept showing us video after video after video and we all learned different things and we could put it in practice instantly! Like, April has gotten really into her new goth mommy thing and we saw a video and a girl in it was spanking another girl with a leather paddle and it was super hot but we didn’t have paddles (we ordered them, they should arrive today! Yay!) so April took a clipboard and made Sophia put her hands on the wall and April went to town on her cute bubble butt and it got so red and the rest of us watched and rubbed and drooled and Sophia came from being spanked! She’s becoming such a good slut. She really likes putting her hair in pigtails and wearing like, a sort of schoolgirl uniform with a microskirt and chewing gum and acting like a dumb whore around the lab and it kinda makes all of us want to do bad things to her. We saw a few videos where the cunt was sort of taken by force and Sophia loved them so now she keeps calling herself “good rapebait” and teasing us so we’ll be mean to her and fuck her with a toy or a strap. She cums so fast and screams what a rapedoll she is and begs to be used and abused forever! It’s super hot, so we are almost constantly shoving toys and fingers in her like, really hard.

Also, we have amazing stamina now! I can’t remember when I last slept. My desperate pussy needs me to take care of it all the time.

We’re using the computer labs to show off online, because the porn showed us that all good girls expose their slutty bodies. We’re sad that the webcams don’t look as good as the porn but we’ve ordered new cameras and like, some lights to make every inch of us look amazing. And the people we talk to on random sites are so helpful! They have ideas we never could imagine, and it’s so much easier to just do what they tell us to do and we learn so much doing it! Last night me and Emily spent like an hour just drooling and making out and rubbing each other’s tits in front of the camera because a nice Man told us to and it felt amazing to know he was jerking off his fat cock to us! We didn’t know just obeying Men made cunts feel useful but some Men told us and we did it and they were right! I think it was when April and I were going ass to ass with a double dildo because a Man told us to that I realized how amazing it is not having to choose and just drift in the Pink and be good sluts.

Sometimes they tell us to do hard things, like writing on each other’s bodies. Because our tits are so huge we have a lot of room to put tasty words in, but figuring out the spelling while we rub and lick each other is very, very hard! I can still spell kinda good, but Sophia couldn’t even spell “cumslave” right, so I had to write on Emily even though Sophia was supposed to and I got too excited and fuzzy and maybe some of the videos put thoughts in my head because I ended writing stuff like “mindless fuckdoll” and “brains are for boys” and “bitch in heat” on her instead of just “cumslave”, but the Men online liked that and told me to make myself cum as a reward and I didn’t know Men could just tell girls to cum but when they told me to cum I barely had to rub my cunt before I had like, the best orgasm. Maybe getting permission to cum always feels better? We should do a study on that after this one is done.

It’s funny how much Emily loves to have filthy words written on her body. She always was super shy and she’s so slutty now but she sstill gets all red and flustered and some men like that because it’s clear she likes to be a silly cunt but also she tries not to show it and so having someone writing on her lets her pretend she’s not thinking all those words even though like, we all totally know she’s thinking them and also when she wears a cute little mask she is shameless and so fucking desperate it’s like the mask lets her be her true self. That’s another thign we could study!

Speaking of studies, we kinda didn’t have time to take the test this week but I’m sure we would have aced it for sure. I have to send something in that section of this stupid form so I’m attaching a video of all of us training our throats with dildos, because it shows we can still do tasks so we aren’t dumb. 

Ugh, writing is so boring and I can hear Sophia being fucked behind me and I really want to make her eat me out while another girl makes her ass gape. 

We ordered more clothes and toys because Men deserve choices and we want to be able to be any kind of slut a Man could want. I guess I’ll write more next week.

   

obdertations weak for

i have to write i dont want to write this is so boring my head is to fuzzy and fuuuuck april is licking my pussy under the desk but i dont want to cum because good girls dont cum without permission and no Man told me i could cum but i want to cum so badly but also i dont want to cum because being edged makes me better makes me wetter makes me obey i want to obey i want to be a stupid cumrag forever and ever and get tasty cummies and my tits need to be covered so i can be super pretty

My stupid cow udders are so huge now one load cant cover them i need to be surrounded by cocks and make all of them cum just so i can feel that warm jizz all over them and i know because we tried it we gave the nice Men online the address to the lab and they came hihihi came and came came all over us and inside us and even three cocks cumming on my boobs isnt enough and also sometimes they aim to high and it lands on my face and that feels so amazing and tastes so fucking good but i like it on my sensitive bimbo tits better because theyre like my pussy and they always need more and more and more and there are never enough cocks around to share and we try to be good girls and serve together but we get greedy and end up fighting for the honor of wrosph worp woshi whoreshiping cocks but the Men help us and tell us what to do and whos turn it is and they even gave us a fun way to fight for cock and we have rubbing competitions where we dance and rub and tease and say so many filthy things anf the one that proves shes the more depraved slut gets the cum and i wish i was better because i want to win every time but sometimes another fucking cunt wins and i have to wait

pffff last night sophia did her hole pretending to be innocent thing and called the men daddy and said she would be the bestest girl for them and smiled and flirted and made it seem like she didnt know her skirt was riding up and she had no panties and they used her so much i only got like three loads on my tits and i had to get more Men to come into the lab because its sooo not fair that she got used in all her holes by like, ten guys and i only got three cocks in my tight asshole but in the end more Men came and i really slutted it up and called myself a piece of worthless fuckmeat and a mindless obedient set of holes with huge tits and explained to the Men why girls need to obey and be happy and how fenminism is boring and maybe us girls would be better off without rights and they liked that and they really liked it when they found out i have a PHD an stuff so in the end i got used lots so I was useful and it was a good night

Clothes are all over the floor and the desks but we need more because there are so many ways to be a cute slut and we want to please everyone and become anything they want us to be and do anything they want us to do and i tried ordering more clothes but i got confused but a Man ordered for us so they should be arriving soon and fuck we cant stop rubbing and licking each other imagining all the sexy stuff we’ll get to wear and also the new camera is so good and we look just like the girls in porn and i guess we are pron now because we keep filming or letting Men film us and they upload everything and people like it lots and i think about everyone jerking off to us and its the best feeling in the world knowing i dont have to be there to make a cock cum, i can be useful forever because the videos will always be around fuuuuuck i almost came April got sooo good at eating pussy but i don’t want to cum i really want to cum i 

I dont remeber how to ttach stuff but ill get a Man to put the best videos on the file so yall can see what good girls we are now and maybe you can cum to us please cum to us please rub your pussies and play with your cocks looking at us we want to make you happy and horny like we are i wish everyone could feel the Pink its so good and fuzzy and warm and makes people giggle and fuck nd be so happy maybe everyone should take what we take and grow big boobs and sink into the Pink I wonder if men get huge cocks from it that woud be amazing like giant cocks that cum buckets fuccccccc i dont wanna{p´.k

Fuck i came so hard but im still so fucking horny it’s never enough i need more i need to please i exist to please obeying makes me feel so good an cum makes me so pretty and i dont remember how i lived before because this feels like its who ive always been like its just right and natural and good but i started writin for a reason and i can’t figure out what it was i have to tell April to stop eating me out and find out what im supposed to rite 

Oh, duh! A Man said big boobs make girls dumb. And that’s a dumb thing to believe. But I have massive tits and I’m dumb so I guess I believe him because dumb feels good so I’ll believe any dumb thing a Man tells me!

EDITOR’S NOTE: This document is being published without edits or corrections at the request of Prof. Lawson. Given that the express intent of this “paper” is to disprove his theories, we felt it fair to show the resulting work unaltered.

Prof. Mia West has retired from Academia. She and her team seem determined to continue in the adult industry. The Northwestern Journal of Science has reached out to Prof. West, who requested readers to “log into the sites and cum yourselves silly to our stupid bimbo bodies”.

As far as we can ascertain, every one of the mentioned videos is available for free. It is unknown who obtains the ad revenue or funds the team; however, given the noticeable increase in production value in newer installments, as well as the establishment of what has been christened the “Slut House” to film, we must assume someone is managing the team’s career.

On an unrelated note, we’re delighted to announce Prof. Lawson’s new seminar, “Video Production, Marketing and Monetization in the Digital Age”, to take place this Fall.  

Did you enjoy this story? You can support my work at patreon.com/prettynosferatu

[rafesbabygirlx]

FORGET ME NOT | Part 1

𝚂4!𝚁𝙰𝙵𝙴 𝚇 𝚁𝙴𝙰𝙳𝙴𝚁

Summary: 𝙰𝚏𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚊𝚗 𝚊𝚌𝚌𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚒𝚗 𝙼𝚘𝚛𝚘𝚌𝚌𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚟𝚎𝚜 𝚁𝚊𝚏𝚎 𝚑𝚘𝚜𝚙𝚒𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚣𝚎𝚍, 𝚑𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚝𝚎𝚍, 𝚊𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚎, 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝙾𝚞𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝙱𝚊𝚗𝚔𝚜. ��𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚠𝚊𝚔𝚎𝚜 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚊, 𝚂𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚑 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝙿𝚘𝚐𝚞𝚎𝚜 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 - 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕𝚜 𝚘𝚏𝚏. 𝙰 𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚞𝚗𝚝𝚜 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚍, 𝚊 𝚠𝚑𝚒𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚏 𝚊 𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚌𝚑. 𝚈𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚟𝚘𝚒𝚌𝚎, 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚝𝚘𝚞𝚌𝚑. 𝙱𝚞𝚝 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚑𝚎’𝚜 𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚎𝚗𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚝𝚘 𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗 𝚑𝚘𝚖𝚎, 𝚢𝚘𝚞’𝚛𝚎 𝚐𝚘𝚗𝚎. 𝙽𝚘 𝚎𝚡𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜, 𝚗𝚘 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍𝚋𝚢𝚎𝚜- 𝚘𝚗𝚕𝚢 𝚊 𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚐𝚎𝚝-𝚖𝚎-𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚜 𝚕𝚎𝚏𝚝 𝚋𝚎𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚍.

a/n: 𝙸 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚊 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚝 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚎 𝚊 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚙𝚕𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚜. 𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚊 𝚌𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙸 𝚛𝚎𝚠𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚍 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙾𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚉𝚘𝚎𝚢 𝚊 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚙𝚕𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚍𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚊𝚐𝚘. 𝙰𝚕𝚜𝚘 𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚙𝚒𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚢 𝙵𝚘𝚛𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝙼𝚎 𝙽𝚘𝚝𝚜 𝚋𝚢 𝙿𝚊𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚌𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚜𝚑𝚎𝚗. - 𝙸’𝚖 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚖𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚖𝚢 𝚂𝙼𝙰𝚄 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚒𝚝 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚙𝚊𝚙𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚘 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚞𝚝𝚎𝚛. 𝚂𝚘 𝙸’𝚟𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚕𝚎 𝚋𝚊𝚋𝚢 𝚞𝚙 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎. 🩵 𝚃𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚔 𝚢𝚘𝚞 @littlelamy 𝚊𝚗𝚍 @nemesyaaa 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚢 𝚋𝚎𝚝𝚊 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜 🩷🩷🩷

1.4k words 𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚝 1 -> 𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚝 2 -> 𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚝 3 -> 𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚝 4

The first thing Rafe Cameron registers when he wakes is the weight in his chest. It’s heavy, suffocating, like a phantom pressure pressing him into the hospital bed. His body aches, throbs in places he doesn’t remember injuring, but it’s his mind that feels the most bruised. There’s a fog there, thick and disorienting, clouding the edges of something important. Something he should remember.

Sarah’s voice breaks through the haze. “Rafe?”

She sounds uncertain, like she’s not sure whether she wants him awake or still lost in unconsciousness. When he forces his eyes open, she’s sitting beside him, the soft beeping of hospital monitors filling the silence.

The Pogues are here too, John B, Kie, Pope. But JJ is missing. They hover near the door, watching him like he’s some wild animal that might lash out at any second. He should care about that. He should have something to say, some sharp remark locked and loaded. But the words never come.

His family- the only thing he has close to family- are here, but the emptiness in his chest only grows. Something is missing. No, someone is missing. He doesn’t bring it up. He doesn’t know how to.

Days pass in a blur of doctor visits and cautious conversations. He learns about the accident in Morocco, how he barely made it, how they thought he wouldn’t wake up. They fill in the gaps, but the more they talk, the more the unease festers inside him. Because there’s something else, something no one is mentioning. A voice that lingers at the edge of his consciousness. A touch he can almost feel. He faintly remembers the way someone used to call him their “blue-eyed boy,” but his brain just can’t let him remember their face.

Two weeks in the hospital, and Rafe is finally discharged. Sarah and John B drive him home, the car ride filled with a tense silence he doesn’t bother breaking. The moment they pull into the driveway, he steps out, moving toward the front door with a sense of urgency—like he’s expecting something. Someone.

But when he steps inside, he’s met with nothing but emptiness.

The house is exactly as he left it. The sterile white walls, hung with generic paintings, the faint hum of the refrigerator, the untouched furniture. It feels as if this place was never a home. All of the warmth has been sucked out of it. But something is different.

His gaze drifts to the kitchen, where a bouquet of dead blue forget-me-nots sits in the center of the island.

A strange, sinking feeling grips him as he steps closer. The brittle petals have begun to fall, scattering across the marble countertop. Beside the bone-dry vase, his mother’s ring rests in delicate contrast, the cool metal catching the dim light. But it’s the note balanced on the rim that sends a sharp ache through his chest.

“I’m sorry for what I’ve done. I never meant to hurt you. I loved you, Rafe. I truly did. You don’t have to forgive me… but please, never forget me.”

No name. No clue as to who left it.

His fingers tighten around the paper, frustration building beneath his skin. He wasn’t supposed to forget. That accident, the one that knocked him unconscious, stole something from him—someone from him. And now, all he has are the remnants of a memory just out of reach.

He doesn’t understand the note. He doesn’t know who wrote it.

But he needs to find out.

Rafe runs a hand through his short hair, frustration simmering beneath his skin. He feels crazy. Like he’s grasping at shadows, chasing ghosts.

Whoever you were, whoever left those flowers, that note, you weren’t just a passing memory. He can feel it.

But there’s nothing. No hint of another presence in the house. No clothes that aren’t his, no forgotten perfume lingering in the air, no photographs tucked away in drawers. It’s like you never existed at all.

His fingers tighten around the edge of his dresser, knuckles going white. “Why can’t I remember?” The question runs rampant through his mind. The thought makes his chest ache. He wasn’t supposed to wake up like this—with missing pieces, with someone slipping through the cracks of his mind.

He exhales sharply, turning back to his bed. And that’s when he sees it.

His journal.

It’s sitting on his nightstand, undisturbed, its leather cover slightly worn from years of use. Rafe doesn’t even remember the last time he wrote in it, but his hands move on instinct, flipping it open. He skims through old entries—frustrations with his father, reckless nights, half-formed thoughts scribbled out in sharp, uneven handwriting.

Then he finds something different.

The writing is neater here. More intentional. His breath catches as he scans the words.

“You drive me fucking insane. And yet, I can’t stay away from you.”

“You called me your blue-eyed boy again today. I acted like it annoyed me, but the truth is… I don’t think anyone’s ever said my name the way you do.”

“I think I love you.”

Rafe’s heart pounds. His own words stare back at him, mocking his inability to remember who they were meant for.

He flips the page, searching for more, for some kind of clue. But the next entry is smudged, as if it had been hastily wiped away. And the ones after that—blank.

Like he never got the chance to write the rest of the story.

Jaw clenched, he shuts the journal. This isn’t over. Whoever you were, whatever you meant to him—he’s going to find out.

He has to.

Rafe pushes back from his desk, the chair scraping against the hardwood floor. His head is spinning, frustration crawling under his skin like an itch he can’t scratch. He needs answers.

And he needs his damn phone.

He starts tearing through the house, checking the kitchen counters, the couch cushions, even the pockets of the jacket he wore when he left the hospital. Nothing. It’s not here.

His hands twitch at his sides, his breath coming faster. Where the hell did he last have it?

Then, a flicker of memory.

“You lost it in the wreck.”

Sarah’s voice echoes in his head. She’d told him that when they were leaving the hospital, casually dropping it into conversation like it wasn’t a big deal. But now, it is a big deal. If his phone is still out there, it could hold something—messages, photos, something that proves you were real.

His gaze darts to the hospital bag Sarah had given him. He grabs it, rummaging through the crumpled papers inside until he finds his discharge forms. At the top, just like she said, is her number scrawled in small, neat handwriting.

He takes the office phone off the hook, dialing quickly. The ringing drags on for a few beats before she finally picks up.

“Hey, Rafe, is everything okay?”

He hesitates. He doesn’t want her to think he’s losing it, even though it feels that way.

“Yeah, everything’s okay. How’s everyone doing since JJ’s not there?”

Sarah sighs on the other end. “It’s weird, but we’re getting through it… it’s not like we have a choice.”

Rafe nods absently, running a hand through his hair. “Can I ask you a quick question?”

“Of course. Go ahead.”

He swallows, suddenly unsure if he even wants to hear the answer. But he forces himself to ask anyway. “Do you remember anything about my life before Morocco? Or… anyone?”

There’s a beat of silence.

“Rafe, we only spoke right before we left. I mean, I’ve seen you out and around with a girl before, but I don’t know who she was. I don’t even know if you were actually together.”

His stomach twists. That’s it? That’s all she knows?

“I see. Okay, thanks.”

“You sure you’re okay?” she asks, her voice laced with concern.

“Yeah, I’ll, uh… talk to you later.”

The line goes dead.

Rafe lets out a sharp breath, rubbing a hand over his face. He’s exhausted—mentally, physically. And for now, he needs to shut his mind off before it drives him insane.

He heads to the bathroom, turning on the shower and stepping under the hot stream of water. He lets it wash over him, but no matter how much he tries to clear his thoughts, the question remains.

Someone has to know who you are.

And if he once thought he loved you- if you meant that much- then somehow, some way, he has to remember.

tags + some moots <3

@rafestoothbrush @weluvwbb @itsforeverandalwayz @butterfly-ibuki @megiiite @siredbtches @bigenergy777 @aupernatural-teenwolflover @slut4you @rafegf-real @skywalker0809 @snowtargaryen @kieeslove @leather-n-velvet @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @rafesgreasycurtainbangs @anacamofficial @diasnohibng @slut-4-gojo @akobx @jjmaybankmylovee @slurpdew @alphabetically-deranged @laniirackssss @cameronsprincess @littlelamy @nemesyaaa @maybankslover @frankoceanluvr11 @drewsephrry @whytheylosttheirminds @itneverendshere @rafesheaven @writingroom21 @zyafics @stoned-writer @v3n1ce-bxtch @maybejj @rafescvntyclubgf

[heliosunny]

Hi hi, I read your lucky egg yuan x reader and thought a bond system was super creative!! So I have a request!!

Can I request a streamer/general Jing yuan playing an otome game where you/the reader are one of the love interests? And he was absolutely obsessed with character!reader that he’d literally drop so much money on the game, but one day, after maybe a poisoning incident, he ends up isekai’d into said otome game. Reader has a favoribility bar and everything and he does all the quests to raise your bar 🤭🤭. And and! If a love interest hits 100% favoribility in the game, they go yandere so maybe a bit of soft yan y/n?

It would also be super interesting to see yuan scheme everything cuz of his big brain 😌😌

I hope you have a good day and stay hydrated!!!

𝐆𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐋𝐨𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠… 𝐖𝐞𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐁𝐚𝐜𝐤, 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫.

[𝙇𝙞𝙫𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙢 𝙤𝙣] Chat: — "Jing Yuan, you’re literally broke because of this game." — "BRO JUST DATE A REAL PERSON." — "He’s already too far gone… let him be." — "Who’s your bias again? (Not that we don’t know lol)." — "Watch him go straight to Y/N and ignore all the others."

The chat scrolled at breakneck speed, but Jing Yuan barely paid attention, his fingers already navigating past the main menu. His voice was smooth, teasing, as he leaned closer to the mic.

“Come now, you all know the answer to that” his lips curling into a smirk. His stream setup was pristine—dual monitors casting a cool glow over his silver hair, the dim lighting making his golden eyes gleam.

The title screen of Astral Regnum shimmered before him, revealing the stunning artwork of the heroes of the kingdom. But his gaze, as always, honed in on the one he cared about most. You.

Chat: — "Damn, he didn’t even LOOK at them LMAO." — "He’s speedrunning a 2D romance with Y/N." — "NPCs crying in the corner."

Jing Yuan chuckled, skipping past the banners of the other love interests like they were mere background noise. “Why waste time?” His voice dipped lower, fond. “Y/N is the only one that matters.”

A swordmaster. A warrior feared on the battlefield, but with a heart that only opened to those they deemed worthy. In the game’s lore, [Y/N] was the blade of the Astral Regnum heroes—a relentless force of nature, cutting down enemies with precision. And yet, their favorability system was notoriously difficult.

That only made it more satisfying when he raised it.

He knew what you liked. What you hated. Every hidden event, every dialogue choice that made your heart skip.

And he had spent—How much money again? He didn’t care.

Tonight, he was going to hit the final 100%.

With a flick of his wrist, he loaded his save file—the one where his favorability with you was already in the high 90s.

The screen faded to black.

…A sharp knock at the door.

Jing Yuan blinked, momentarily snapping out of his immersion. Who the hell—?

His chat reacted instantly.

Chat: — "Uh oh, debt collectors?" — "Jing Yuan’s about to get isekai’d, watch." — "Bet it’s his manager coming to stop his spending spree."

With a lazy sigh, he muted the mic and pushed his chair back. He had just reached for the door when a strange, sharp scent flooded his senses.

His vision blurred.

The last thing he saw was the game screen still glowing on his monitor, your character’s sprite standing there, waiting.

𝐋𝐨𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝…

The first thing he felt was the cold, the way it bit into his skin—so vivid, so unlike the temperature-controlled room he had been in just moments ago. His ears rang with the echo of distant battle cries, the clash of steel, the unmistakable scent of blood.

Jing Yuan opened his eyes. His smirk returned instantly.

He knew exactly where he was.

Above him, the skies of Astral Regnum stretched endlessly, clouds tinged red by the fires of war.

“…I really hit the jackpot, didn’t I?”

A shadow moved in his peripheral vision. He turned just in time to see you- covered in blood, battle-worn eyes feral with focus. Your sword pointed straight at him.

Jing Yuan had always admired you— your presence, your unwavering strength. But seeing you in the flesh, drenched in blood with the weight of battle in your stance?

It was exhilarating.

The tip of your sword hovered just inches from his throat, gleaming under the eerie glow of magic-infused flames.

“Identify yourself.”

Jing Yuan barely resisted the urge to grin. Even in the game, you never trusted strangers easily—it was one of the many things that had made raising your favorability so difficult.

But unlike his first playthrough, he didn’t need to fumble through dialogue choices or waste time figuring out what worked.

He already knew exactly what to do.

He lifted his hands in mock surrender, keeping his posture relaxed despite the threat at his throat. “Ah, forgive me. I seem to have found myself in the middle of a battlefield, and I’d rather not lose my head before I’ve even introduced myself.”

Your eyes narrowed, scanning him like a predator sizing up prey. He knew you were analyzing everything—his stance, his expression, any hint of deception.

Chat would’ve gone wild seeing this. Too bad they weren’t here.

“…You’re not dressed like a soldier” you noted, your grip on the hilt still firm.

He wasn’t. The clothes he wore were a mix of modern and fantasy—game mechanics at work, likely adjusting his form to fit the world. He still had his signature robes, but now they looked more battle-worn, reforged in Astral Regnum’s style.

“Observant, as expected” he mused. “I’m not part of any faction. Just a traveler who seems to have ended up in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

Your expression remained unreadable, but the fact that you hadn’t killed him on the spot meant he had already passed the first test.

“Captain!” A voice called from the distance. A scout.

Jing Yuan watched as your gaze flickered between him and the approaching soldier. You had a decision to make—cut him down now, or deal with him later?

The game’s mechanics dictated that you wouldn’t kill someone outright if they weren’t confirmed as a threat. That much, he remembered.

“Tie him up” you ordered.

Jing Yuan barely bit back a chuckle as rough hands grabbed his arms, binding his wrists.

Oh we're doing this route? How fun.

“Smart choice” he murmured as your men hauled him up. “But I do wonder… how long will you be able to keep me restrained?”

You didn���t answer. You only turned your back on him, leading the way toward your war camp.

He didn’t mind starting as a prisoner.

After all— He was still going to reach 100%.

----

Jing Yuan sat calmly, bound at the wrists, as the flickering glow of firelight cast shifting shadows across the war tent. Soldiers bustled outside, sharpening blades, murmuring strategies, unaware that the man they had just captured knew more about their war than they did.

It was strange watching everything unfold in real-time.

Even stranger was seeing you like this—not through a screen, but right in front of him. The real you, expression unreadable as you stood by a large map, analyzing war strategies.

A part of him wanted to watch forever.

But that wasn’t the plan.

You finally turned your gaze to him, those sharp eyes glinting under the lantern light. “You don’t seem particularly concerned about your situation.”

Jing Yuan gave a lazy smile. “Should I be?”

Your soldiers shifted uncomfortably, but you merely crossed your arms. “You’re suspicious. You’re too well-groomed for a lost traveler, and you don’t have the look of a mercenary. Are you a spy?”

“No,... But I might be useful to you.”

One of your officers scoffed. “You expect us to believe that?”

“I expect your Captain to consider it.” His gaze remained on you. “You wouldn’t have kept me alive if you didn’t at least think there was value in hearing me out.”

You didn’t deny it. You're still the same, that calculative and careful one. And yet strangely soft toward those who prove their worth.

He could work with that.

“…Fine” you finally said, tone measured. “You’ll stay here under guard. Prove your worth, or you’ll regret it.”

Jing Yuan chuckled, flexing his fingers slightly. “I thought you weren't the type to threat-”

“Don't test me.”

The chains around Jing Yuan’s wrists weren’t tight enough to hurt, but they were a firm reminder—he was not trusted.

But that was fine.

Because trust could be built.

He watched as you dismissed your soldiers one by one, your fingers ghosting over the map on the table. The battlefield was shifting, and you were at the center of it.

Jing Yuan had watched countless cutscenes of you strategizing like this, studying every small movement, every sharp-eyed decision. But seeing it in person was entirely different.

“You’re staring” you muttered without looking up.

Jing Yuan chuckled. “Nothing, I was just thinking.”

Finally, you glanced at him, arms crossed. “About what?”

“That I can help you win.”

“Oh? And why would a ‘lost traveler’ know anything about war?”

Jing Yuan leaned forward slightly, “Because I know your enemies better than they know themselves.”

That caught your attention.

“Go on”

“Your next battle is in three days. Your enemies will try to flank from the west, but their supplies are running thin. If you push them into a defensive position before they can regroup, you’ll win with minimal casualties.”

“And how exactly would you know that?”

Jing Yuan’s smile didn’t waver. “Does it matter?”

“Fine, I'll test your theory.”

If you followed his strategy, he’d prove his worth.

And when you won?

You’d start to trust him.

The war camp was quieter than usual. Outside, soldiers murmured in low voices, preparing for the upcoming battle.

Jing Yuan stood a few feet away, his hands still bound, watching you with a patient smile.

Just as he was about to speak, the tent flap rustled.

"You're still awake?"

Jing Yuan's smile faltered for the briefest second as another figure stepped inside—one of your close friends. They walked in casually, eyes flickering to Jing Yuan before turning back to you.

Jing Yuan had seen them before, an important side character, someone who frequently appeared in your storyline. But now that he was here, living in this world, they felt like a nuisance.

"I'm reviewing the battle plans again" you replied, rubbing your temples. Your friend sighed, stepping beside you.

"You should rest. You've been at this all day."

Jing Yuan watched as they reached forward, lightly flicking your forehead in a playful manner.

He had never liked this character, even when he played the game. They always lingered too close, always made you smile in ways that should have been reserved for him.

But now?

Now, he was right here, watching them steal your attention.

He could see the way you relaxed around them, how comfortable you were. He knew it was natural—you had a long history together in the game. But that didn’t stop the quiet frustration from simmering beneath his skin.

That should be him.

Jing Yuan let out a soft chuckle, stepping forward slightly, just enough to make his presence known.

“You know,” he mused, tilting his head, “for someone so concerned about their commander’s well-being, you don’t seem too worried about distracting them.”

Your friend raised an eyebrow. “And you are?”

Jing Yuan’s smile didn’t waver. “An observer.” He let his gaze linger on your friend a little too long before shifting back to you. “Besides, I don’t think they need to be reminded to rest. They know their limits.”

You let out an amused exhale. “You talk as if you’ve known me for a long time.”

“I just have good instincts.”

Your friend didn’t seem convinced, but they let it slide, instead turning back to you.

Jing Yuan barely heard what they said next. His focus was elsewhere—on the small details.

The way they leaned in when they spoke. The way you didn’t pull away. The way your voice softened, just slightly, in response.

He didn't like it.

But he wouldn’t show it.

----

Jing Yuan was a strategist. Whether in the real world or in this one, he always played to win. Now, you were real. And he would ensure that he was the only one who mattered to you.

The game had always emphasized that actions mattered more than words.

So he made sure every move he made left an impression.

He cooked for you when you were too exhausted after training.

He tended to the wounded, proving he wasn’t just a fighter but someone who cared.

He trained with your soldiers, earning their respect.

He always stayed one step behind you, never overstepping—but never too far away.

And every time you hesitated, every time you looked at him as more than just an outsider, his favorability bar climbed.

[ +15 Favorability ] [ +5 Favorability ] [ +20 Favorability ]

It was slow, steady, but inevitable.

Sure he had made mistakes. Like that one moment where he didn't take your concerns seriously.

"Something’s off about this place" you had murmured, scanning the area. "Maybe, but worrying too much causes wrinkles."

You shot him a look. "Remind me why I even talk to you?"

He laughed. "Because you like me."

At that moment? Not so much. [-15 Favorability]

Or that other time when he was overconfident.

"You should fall back. I’ll handle the rest."

You had scoffed, annoyed. "I don’t need you to protect me."

He shrugged. "Still, wouldn’t want you to get hurt—"

You ignored him and struck the final blow yourself. [-20 Favorability]

Still, everything was carefully choreographed—down to the smallest details. And every time you acknowledged him, every time your gaze lingered just a second longer than before, he knew—

Your favorability bar ticked up.

[ +5 Favorability ] [ +10 Favorability ]

Jing Yuan was patient. But patience had its limits.

When another comrade slung an arm over your shoulder, laughing too freely—his grip on his sword tightened.

When someone dared to flirt with you, his golden eyes flickered with an emotion no one caught.

When you smiled at someone else with the same warmth you gave him, a quiet hum left his lips.

For now, he could hold back.

Because soon, it wouldn’t matter.

Because soon, you wouldn’t even look at anyone else.

----

Jing Yuan never gambled. Because every move has its purpose.

And right now—

Your favorability stood at 75%

It was a beautiful number. But it wasn’t enough.

So, he prepared.

𝐒𝐲𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐦 𝐒𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐞: 𝐀𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠...

The system had always been a passive observer. A tool meant to track your feelings, your reactions, your downfall into love.

But today, it would be more than that.

Today, it would be his weapon.

—— Favorability Shop Opened. Current Balance: [Unlimited] Recommended Purchases:

1️⃣ [Memory Trigger Perfume] – A fragrance designed to evoke past emotions and subconscious attachments. [50,000 pts] 2️⃣ [Heroic Crisis Event] – An orchestrated situation where the player can prove their devotion to the target. [100,000 pts] 3️⃣ [Lingerie Set??? ] – Also a valid strategy.... [25,000 pts] ——

Jing Yuan exhaled slowly, amusement flickering in his gaze as he scrolled past the last item.

I'll save that for later.

For now—he bought the first two.

The memory trigger

The next time you saw him, the scent was already on him.

It wasn’t overwhelming. Just a faint trace. Familiar.

You frowned slightly. “What is that smell?”

Jing Yuan feigned confusion. “Does it bother you?”

“No, it’s just…” You hesitated. Something nagged at you. Something you couldn’t quite grasp.

It reminded you of safety. A feeling you had lost.

And deep down, your heart tightened.

“Maybe you’ve smelled it before” he mused, watching you struggle. “Maybe… it’s something important to you.”

You didn’t respond.

But later that night—long after he had left—you found yourself missing it.

And just like that, your favorability rose to 80%

The Heroic Crisis

Jing Yuan knew you were strong. You didn’t need a savior. You could protect yourself. But even strong people had moments of weakness.

And he was going to be there when it happened.

So, when the system triggered the attack, everything was perfect.

Your instincts kicked in immediately. You dodged, countered, struck back.

But the moment you faltered—

Jing Yuan was there.

His blade met theirs. His body shielded yours.

Blood dripped from his arm, but he barely noticed. His eyes stayed on you.

And then, as if in a trance, your lips parted.

“Jing Yuan…”

Your favorability skyrocketed.

90%.

95%.

----

The fire crackled softly, flickering between the two of you. It wasn’t often that you got quiet moments like this. No battles. Just peace.

And strangely—you didn’t mind his presence.

Jing Yuan sat across from you, his white hair slightly tousled from the night breeze.

“Is there something on my face?”

“N-No..Nothing”

“Then why are you staring?”

“I'm not!”

He chuckled. “Not that I mind.”

You scoffed and looked away, but you didn’t deny it. Truth was.. this felt nice.

Jing Yuan stretched his arms behind his head, letting out a content sigh. “You know, this is rare.”

You glanced at him. “What is?”

He smiled lazily. “Seeing you relaxed.”

“I like it.” His voice was quieter this time. “I like seeing you like this.”

Jing Yuan had always been playful, unpredictable. But tonight—his gaze was softer.

And something inside you stirred.

You cleared your throat, shifting slightly. “It’s... nice.”

“Then let’s have more nights like this.”

Your heart skipped. That's not a bad idea.

----

Jing Yuan knew, step by step, you were falling.

Not yet—not completely. But you were softening.

And tonight, he was going to make sure you fell just a little bit more.

The town was lively even in the late hours. Lanterns swayed overhead, casting warm golden hues over the bustling streets. You walked beside Jing Yuan, carrying a small pouch of supplies for your next journey.

It had been his idea to take a detour here. A little break from the usual battles, something about “enjoying the little things.”

But just as you passed by a fruit stall—

“Hey—!”

You barely registered the blur of motion before your pouch was yanked from your grasp.

A small, ragged figure darted through the crowd, slipping between merchants and customers like a shadow.

Jing Yuan reacted immediately.

“Stay close.”

Then he moved.

You both weaved through the market, dodging carts and startled pedestrians. The thief was fast, but you were faster.

“Persistent little one, aren’t they?”

You didn’t waste breath responding—just focused on cutting off the escape.

And then—a dead end.

The thief skidded to a stop in a dimly lit alleyway, chest heaving.

A boy, no older than ten. Grimy, thin and desperate.

Your pouch dangled from his shaking grip.

Behind him, three younger kids peeked out from behind broken crates, their eyes wide with fear.

He wasn’t stealing for himself. He was trying to feed them.

You felt something in your chest tighten.

Jing Yuan stepped forward—not in anger, but with a sigh.

“Stealing is a bad habit, you know?” His voice was light, almost teasing. “But... I suppose sometimes, there’s no other choice.”

The boy flinched, hugging the pouch close.

“Please...” he whispered. “I—It’s for them.”

Then, to your surprise, he pulled out his own pouch and tossed it to the ground. The coins inside jingled.

“Go buy food” he said simply. “Real food. Not stolen.”

The boy’s eyes darted between the pouch and Jing Yuan, as if expecting some cruel trick.

“You... you mean it?”

Jing Yuan chuckled, ruffling his own hair. “I’m not heartless, you know.”

You stared at him.

The boy hesitated before dropping your pouch and taking Jing Yuan’s instead. Then, with a quick bow, he grabbed the younger kids’ hands and ran.

Silence stretched between you two as you picked up your pouch.

Jing Yuan smiled, tucking his hands behind his head. “Well, that was fun.”

You exhaled, shaking your head. “You’re impossible.”

He grinned. “Handsome too, right?”

You rolled your eyes—but your heart wasn’t in it.

Because for all his teasing and laziness—Jing Yuan was... kind.

And when he turned to you, golden eyes glinting under the lantern lights—

98%

Almost there.

100%

A quiet chime echoed in the back of Jing Yuan’s mind.

It's done.

You belong to me now.

The favorability bar had maxed out, but he wasn’t foolish enough to expect an immediate, dramatic change. No, your obsession was something that would seep in—gentle, like ink bleeding through parchment.

And oh... he couldn’t wait to see it unfold.

----

The battlefield was long behind you. The mission had gone well, leaving only exhaustion and the quiet hum of victory. Now, beneath the vast night sky, a small fire flickered between you and Jing Yuan.

For once, the silence between you was... comfortable.

He leaned back, arms folded behind his head, watching you.

Watching you watch him.

There was a difference in the way you looked at him now. Before, your gaze was wary—guarded, even when amused.

But now?

Now, your eyes lingered.

His lips curved. “Something on your mind?”

You blinked, but instead of denying it, you simply tilted your head. “You’re... a good person.”

His amusement deepened as he sat up slightly, propping his chin on his hand. “Is that so?”

You hummed in response, shifting closer—not much, just enough that the warmth of the fire wasn’t the only heat between you.

And then—you touched him.

Your fingers brushed against his wrist, tracing the faint scars that lined his skin.

“Y/N...”

Your fingers paused, but your gaze didn’t waver. “I was just thinking.”

“How long do you plan to stay with me?”

His smirk faltered for a brief second.

Then—he chuckled.

“Forever.”

He expected a laugh. A scoff. A shake of the head at his dramatic words.

But instead— You smiled.

“I like that answer” you murmured. “You’d better keep it.”

Something in your tone sent a shiver down his spine.

I like that.

I like that a lot.

He had reached 100%. And he couldn't wait to see how far you both would go.

[mattslilies]

Bonding - C.S.

"how can i help, baby?" or... the chris version of this fic. the one where you're struggling to bond with your new baby, and it's making you wish you weren't a mother in the first place. warnings: postpartum depression, general anxiety, crying, chris being a sweetheart and the best boy dad, unresolved angst!!! word count: 519 a/n: dividers from @kodaswrld! requested by anon!

your eyes slowly blinked open, hearing the screams of your newborn son from the other room. exhaustion crept over all of your features, your eyes sunken in and your face tired as the noise pierced your ears. you made no move to get out of the bed you'd been laying in all day, instead rolling over and putting a pillow over your head, as if that would cancel it all out.

you heard chris walk around in the hallway, and watched the baby monitor, seeing him immediately scoop his son out of the crib, changing him, and rocking him as he moved back to the living room, grabbing a formula made bottle and whispering to him as he fed him. you listened as your son quieted down, taking the bottle from his father, face happy and content in his arms.

it wasn't fair. none of it was fair.

you'd carried him, grown him inside your boy, sung lullabies to him every night, gone to doctor appointment after doctor appointment, taken every vitamin possible, and gone through the entire painful process of childbirth. and he couldn't even look at you without crying.

you'd done everything right, but all your son wanted was chris.

part of you was angry. how could you do so much for someone, and they could be so unappreciative? but the other part of you, the bigger part of you, was just sad. a depressing, deep, crushing sadness that wouldn't leave you alone.

over the short few weeks that you had been home from the hospital, you'd slowly begun to shrink into a shell of your former self. you stopped trying to hold him when he cried, stopped trying to change him after a nap. you stopped trying to feed him because he wouldn't latch, and eventually switched to formula because you completely stopped pumping for him. and now? you barely even left your bed

chris had picked up the slack every time. he'd never complained, not even once, about the screaming, the crying, always having to do everything. he loved his son, and he loved you, and he would do anything to lighten the mental load you were already under.

but sometimes, you didn't have a choice. chris had to work, he had to do things to keep your family afloat while you were on maternity leave. every time you took care of your son, you felt nothing but sadness, anger, and disconnection.

you weren't getting those cute baby laughs, the newborn scrunches, the adorable fisted hands in your shirt. instead, you listened to your son scream and cry until his father came back to hold him. every time chris came home and took him out of your arms, he immediately calmed, regardless of whatever you had tried. it only served to hurt you more.

you'd tried everything.

you'd gone to therapy, you'd spent more time with your son, you'd done absolutely everything to try and reconcile your relationship with him, but nothing was working.

"how can i help, baby?"

chris asked that every day. and each day, you didn't have an answer for him. he was an angel, but he would only be an angel for so long.

what happens if it never gets better?

[cherrycranes]

Dream Girl (Neil Lewis x Fem!Reader) [+18]

Pairing: Neil Lewis x Fem!Reader Summary: You're Neil's favorite (and only) camgirl and the girl of his dreams, and he finally has a video call with you. Word count: 3,307 Contents: (Minors DNI). Reader is a camgirl! Needy Neil, cam sex, mutual masturbation, praise kink, fluff! Author's notes: Once again, a collab with @fuckiingloser my beloved. Mandatory "english is not my first language" disclaimer. Underneath there's a Neil playlist I made, the pinterest moodboard to help you visualize this fic and something more! ;)

Part 2: HERE

Neil anxiously stared at the computer screen waiting for it to connect. The circular motions of the loading icon toyed with his impatience. This was serious to him. After selling some old valuable tapes from Gumshoe, he had just enough to pay for a private video call with her: his favorite cam girl, his ultimate dream girl, the one he had been dedicated to watching for the last few months.

He had stumbled upon her in his usual search for porn months ago, in one desperate and lonely night. After closing and closing several porn tabs and profiles, finding absolutely nothing that scratched the right spot for him, he saw her. In all her pink, fluffy, girl-next-door-esque glory. He sat there in complete awe, watching her just smile and laugh, chatting to subscribers and also watching her touch herself… Neil loved it all. From her beautiful hair, her beautiful smile, pretty eyes and perfect body… She had taken over every single thought of his. He became completely hooked since. Generously tipping her, subscribing to her only fans and leaving sweet messages since subscribing.

He couldn’t believe it, after months, he had finally gotten the chance to have a one-on-one call with her. Half of his daydreams and fantasies were about the moment he could talk to her and not just write her his usual nice comments online. He nervously fixed his hair on the reflection of the monitor at the thought. Nothing in this world would let him miss this… Not even the cost. Selling a few of his vintage vhs tapes was not a big deal if it meant he got to see her. 

Neil was positively and undeniably obsessed… Not in the stalker way, of course… He was always respectful. He just had a crush, and a deep yearning to have the chance to take her on a date, get to know her, make her laugh at the very least… His dream girl…

Snapping him out of his thoughts, the screen finally blinked on, making him smile softly when he saw his dream girl pop on the screen.

“Hi there, Neil…” You greeted him with your sensual but sweet voice. You quite liked him as a subscriber. You had seen from his profile that he was only a few years older than you, and from his comments you always knew he was nice, but when you finally saw him appear on your screen you were pleasantly impressed. Neil was much cuter than what you expected him to be. His beautiful pale blue eyes, his soft brown curls, his sweet smile… God help you, he was dreamy…

You sat pretty on your pink fluffy duvet cover on your bed, your laptop was propped right in front of you at the perfect angle, showing your body and lovely face. Neil’s reaction to that image was just delicious, his eyes widened and you moved back a little, revealing the tiny see through pink lingerie set you wore…  At his request, of course. 

From the screen you could tell this already had an effect on him, his cock definitely hardening in his pants and his eyes raking all over you through his monitor. Despite being so used to watching you he still felt weak on the knees. 

“H-hi… you look… so beautiful ...” Neil stuttered just so cutely through his big smile, his usual sweetness shining through. Even when he commented in your livestreams or messaged you he was always a total sweetheart. Most of the other comments you received were well… Vulgar and far too descriptive. That is why Neil always stood out to you, the only one who was actually nice, the one who always tuned into your streams, even the ones where you weren’t naked. He just wanted to see you and hear you talk. 

 “Thank you… You’re too sweet..” You purred to him, smiling and turning around on your knees just to let him see the outfit from the back. Your hand slowly and very sensually ran over your body and the delicate pink lace and flower embroidery of your see-through bra and thong. He watched, completely out of breath. The shape of your ass, the way the lingerie did nothing to hide your charms. He felt himself grow harder.

“Wow…” He whispered, almost dizzy. “You’re perfect…”

Words weren’t enough. “Perfect” didn't even cover just how incredible you were to him. Neil LOVED the dainty, girly lingerie sets you always wore, your all-pink girly room, your innocent eyes, your soft voice. You were the perfect girl next door, the embodiment of all his fantasies combined and presented like a goddess in front of him… And now you were his… Even if it was just for the hour. 

Satisfied with his cute reaction, you sat back down on the bed, smiling softly for the camera.

“You’ve got all of me for an hour… Any special requests?” You asked kindly, charmingly. Neil felt his mind turn to mush for a second, just staring at you for a bit before gathering his thoughts enough to answer. 

“Could you touch yourself and moan my name…  Please?” He asked so softly, your lips curled into a smirk.

“Of course, I can do that. Fingers or a toy?” Your tone was slightly flirty but still very sweet.

“A vibrator… the one you always use…” Neil answered right away, not even thinking about it. He knew exactly what he wanted.

“As you wish..” You smiled and leaned off camera for a second to grab the toy that waited ready for you to use.

“This one?” You came back into frame and, with a cheeky smile on your face, held up the realistic pink dick shaped vibrator.

Neil’s eyes widened a bit in recognition and he nodded with a smile, his hand squeezed his hard on over his pants as he took in the sight of you on the screen. You leaned back against your pretty pink pillows and slowly spread your legs. He shifted closer towards the monitor, lured in by you and the way you gently pulled your sheer panties down your legs and tossed them aside, exposing your pretty little pussy.

It obviously wasn’t the first time he’d seen it… But it was the first time that only him got to see it. He groaned, looking at your perfectly waxed lips reverently. How he wished he could just dive into the screen and magically appear in front of you.

“How do I look?” You asked with a pretty smirk, two gentle fingers spreading your lips apart for him to drool for. His breath hitched a bit and he swallowed hard, fighting his own brain for coherent words.

“You look like a goddess…” He said, almost in awe. “Your pussy is so pretty..” 

You smiled sincerely at his compliment before a motion from your thumb turned the vibrator on. The pink toy slowly and teasingly traveled to your clit, and you moaned instantly when it touched it and made it send waves of pleasure through you. You closed your eyes and Neil kept his wide open, your lips curved into a little smirk before you fulfilled his second request:

“Neil… oh baby… feels so good..” You could have killed him with that breathy moan. He couldn’t contain a groan and his hands couldn’t stop themselves from squeezing his aching cock over his pants. 

When you opened your eyes, you looked at your screen, smiling at the sight.

“You can touch yourself if you want… I wanna see you too…” You cooed to him. 

“Really?” Neil asked, obviously very excited at the thought of both of you getting off together, even if it was through the computer. You nodded with a pretty moan, moving the vibrator against you a bit more. He breathed out, your pussy glistened more and more before his eyes, and for a moment, he savored it in his imagination. His hand took his aching hard on out of his pants and scooted his chair back so you could see all of him. 

Quickly, he spat into his hand and wrapped it around his needy cock, gently groaning at the feeling, imagining it was your pussy instead of his hand. He looked up and saw you watching him with those lovely eyes of yours, he gave himself a few slow pumps.

“Mmm, your cock is so big…” You moan softly, biting your lip as you teased yourself with the toy, enticing the gentle strokes he gave himself.

“Big enough for you?” He asked almost desperately as he jerked off. 

You smiled, gently turning the toy off and sliding it between your wet folds, just teasing yourself with it before finally pushing it in. 

“Mmm… Definitely...” You moaned back to him, and he watched in amazement. You gently pushed the tip of the toy inside you, moaning deliciously as you adjusted around it.

“You wish this was your cock, instead?” You asked him seductively, earning an immediate nod from him. 

“God, yes…” He answered quickly. “I'd literally do anything you wanted of me… I’d-I’d worship you…” 

You moaned again, loudly, his words making you push the dildo in deeper and stretch yourself more.

“Worship me?” Your voice came out sensual, slightly affected by the feeling of the pink toy in you. Neil nodded and groaned, pumping his cock a bit faster.

“Yes... I’d love to kiss you, taste you… make you smile… make you come…” He was beautifully desperate, too fucking sweet. You felt your cheeks at the edge of burning, your hand kept moving, you kept fucking yourself with the dildo.

It was inevitable now, his adoring and genuine praises did something to you, to your wet cunt that only got much more wetter. You arched your back and moaned, never once stopping your hand that held the dildo. 

“More..” You whined to him, needing more of his sweet words. His breathing sped up as his hands worked his cock faster. He was dumbfounded for a split second, but he would never deny you anything.

“I'd spend hours eating your pussy if you let me… I just wanna make you come with my tongue…” He added, his voice a little shaky. 

“Oh fuck..” You moaned loudly, feeling so turned on and getting closer, faster than you expected too… You looked at the screen, seeing him stare at you with those beautiful desperate blue eyes. So, you moved the toy back to your clit and turned it up even higher.

“Neil… I'm gonna come..” You warned him with a loud whine that mixed with the buzzing sound of the vibrator. It was so uncommon for you to even reach this stage so fast, but there was something about his sweet voice, his eyes, his praises… They were doing something to you that you weren’t at all used to…

“Please, come for me…” Neil begged softly, his hand sped up around his cock. “I wanna come with you…” He moaned, shutting his pretty eyes and breathing heavily. 

“Yes... Yes!” You cried out loudly, every muscle of your legs trembled viciously and your clit sent overwhelming waves of pleasure to every last nerve you had. The perfect prelude to an intense, looming orgasm. “Neil…” You moaned needy. 

Neil´s baby blue eyes widened even more, watching you in amazement. With a few more vibrations against your sensitive clit, you came undone just for his eyes to enjoy. Your cry of pleasure sent shivers down his spine and harder pumps to his throbbing, aching cock. Oh, he’d do anything to feel that sweet orgasm of yours happen all around him.

“Fuck, me too.. I’m coming too..” He spoke with  a strained voice, looking right at you and keeping eye contact through the screen. His eager hand jacked him off almost in desperation, massaging his hard cock until reaching an intense abrupt stop. Ropes of his thick white come coated his hand as he let out little groans. His dick twitched and pulsed in his palm and he threw his head back for a moment there. Your eyes studied the scene on your laptop screen detailedly, up until the last little bit of his cum dribbled out.

“Fuuuck..” He groaned softly, he then gave you a satisfied smile. “That was fucking amazing..”.

You giggled a little, his voice was hoarse and just so attractive. You couldn’t agree more with him.

For his eyes, you spread your pussy lips again, proudly showing him the aftermath of what he helped you achieve: your lips glistening with your orgasm. He groaned a bit, his mouth nearly watering.

“I wish I could clean you up with my tongue… I’d give anything for a taste…” He whispered desperately. You bit your lip, it was unbelievable just what this sweet guy did to you.

After a few more breaths, you both sat up and angled your cameras back up to your faces. Neil cleaned himself up on camera, a box of tissues ready on his desk.

“Sorry it happened so fast…” You started to apologize, your mind now clearer and aware that you still had a half hour left for the call, but Neil cut you off before you could finish speaking:

“Please… don’t apologize. That was… Everything to me. Besides… I’d love to just talk too, is that okay?…” He muttered softly.

“Yeah, of course, if that’s what you want…” You answered with slight sheepishness at his sweet words. Still, conversation with Neil just flowed… So naturally… 

“You already know what I do for a living…” You said with a little smirk, his cute laughter resonated from your laptop´s speakers. “What do you do for work?” 

“I actually own a small movie rental store… It's called Gumshoe Video. Been my dream since I was a kid, opened up about 5 years ago now, actually.” Neil answered with a genuine smile, proud of himself. 

“Wow, that's awesome.. I actually love movies, especially older romance movies…” You confessed, and he felt butterflies. You were beautiful AND loved old movies? You really were his dream girl after all. 

“Really?” He asked, a little shocked. You giggled gently.

“Yeah, of course… Brief Encounter is one of my favorites.” You looked at his perfect brown curls through the screen as his mouth turned into a grin. 

 “Wow! Yeah, I love that one! I love David Lean.” He agreed, something deep in his chest fluttering. The more you talked, the more you realized you had more in common than either of you would have ever thought. Talking with him was just so easy, so effortlessly. Neil was just as sweet talking face-to-face as he was online.

“Can I ask where you're from?” He said shyly, not knowing if that’s crossing the line or not. Understandable nervousness stirs in you.

“I usually don’t disclose that kind of information to anyone…” You started and received a pleasant little surprise when you saw Neil nodding in acceptance softly. But before he could speak you felt your gut just telling you to say it. “I live in Chicago.” You suddenly blurted out. 

You watched his eyes widen a bit.

“Chicago?” Neil whispered to himself softly. “I-I’m in the Chicago suburbs!” 

Your eyes widened too, the revelation feeling just right. He was so close to you this whole time and you didn’t even know it…

“Wow..” You whispered, a little shocked at the news. “Small world i guess…” You smiled and Neil laughed a bit.

“No kidding.” He agreed. The girl he’s been pining after and thinking about for months… Practically neighbors with him. 

There was an awkward silence for a second as you both processed the information. Finally, he spoke:

“I'd love to possibly take you on a date sometime… If you’d be okay with it, that is… Just want to treat you like a princess... We wouldn’t have to have sex or anything…”  He rambles just so cutely. You really considered it. Butterflies flew in your stomach. Most men only saw you as a sex object, something they could use and move on from. Neil wasn’t that kind of guy, that was obvious. He was kind and thoughtful. You had never even considered ever wanting to meet someone from only fans… Until today… Until Neil. 

Your beautiful glossy lips almost uttered the word “yes”... But suddenly, you decided against it. You felt a little bad when you saw his face fall a bit at your decline, but you had to watch out for yourself. Though he was bummed, he understood.

“Of course, I understand completely… Maybe we could have another private session? I’d really love to talk again…” Neil adapted the goalposts for your comfort, his sweet innocent eyes making you melt. You smiled, and decided to accept. The grin returned to his handsome face.

“I'll have to sell some things but I'll be good…  Maybe next week? Same day and same time?” He said enthusiastically and your smile fell a bit. Guilt crept back on you. He was selling things just to pay to speak to you. No, you wouldn't let this be. 

Despite the fact that it had just been one call, you felt more for him, more than you ever thought you would. You usually had no problem taking men’s money but with him… It just felt wrong. You felt terrible. 

“No, please don’t do that…” You stopped him, he furrowed his brow a bit in confusion. “Next one's on me because I finished so early this time…” It was an excuse, yes, but one that seemed to work well enough so he wouldn't have to sell his possessions just to see you. 

“Really?” He asked softly, seeming a little shocked by your words. “It's really no problem… I don't want to take advantage of you… I know it’s your job…” He whispered, giving you those perfect sweet eyes that made you melt once again.

“Really.” You told him, completely sure of your decision. “I promise” And you reassured him with a soft smile. Neil´s smirk grew. 

“Thank you so much… I'd just like to see you again... Maybe talk more about movies too, hopefully?” he asked softly, gentle excitement in his voice. You blushed a little bit. God, he’s sweet. 

“I'd like that!” You agreed with a soft smile, a casual glance to the time on your laptop made you notice that you had reached a little over an hour on the call. “Well… I'll see you next week then, Neil…Bye bye!” You said softly, looking at him through the screen and giving him a little wave. 

“Goodbye, beautiful…  Sleep well.” Neil said so genuinely it made your heart burst a little. He gave you a soft wave and you smiled in return. The video call finally ended and you let out a deep sigh, feeling all kinds of emotions.

As the call ended on his end and the screen went back to black, Neil smiled to himself, feeling happier and more excited than he has in a long time. Now that he knew he would see you again next week, just like he did tonight… It made him feel like the luckiest man in the world.

He went to bed that night still reeling, replaying it all in his mind over and over. Finally, he set his phone down and settled into bed. A movie played for background noise as he tried to relax, even if the image of your beautiful face kept him awake and so painfully aware of just how much he needed you. It was then when his phone pinged with a notification from his bank:

 $800.00 USD refunded to checking account.

Under it, there was a message reading: 

“I enjoyed myself as much as you did… I’ll see you next week Neil, can’t wait…” 

It was from you. His jaw dropped a bit in disbelief. This was only the beginning…

Pinterest moodboard to help you visualize, made by @fuckiingloser the queen herself!

Neil Lewis playlist made by me!

Part 2... (HERE) ;)

[discodeerdiary]

There's a good reason why I try not to argue publicly with anyone under 18, and it's not that I think they're inherently stupid, it's not that I think their brains are "underdeveloped", it's not that I think they can "do no wrong", it's that I never know how much freedom they actually have to think freely, or how many of their opinions are actually their own. Of course, under-18s *can be* capable of thinking for themselves and developing their own opinions, but (here in the US at least) law and culture put a lot of roadblocks on their ability to do so.

Of course parents and teachers cannot actually control the inner thoughts of the children they wield power over, but they can restrict the information that they have access to, can punish them for saying the wrong things, can cut them off from healthy diverse social groups, and can convince the child their thoughts are being monitored through religion, psychology, and other appeals to higher authority.

Thus if a random teenager says some headass shit in my mentions I have no way of knowing if these are opinions they arrived at on their own, or if they are dogmas forced on them by the people holding food and shelter over their head. If it's the latter, there's nothing to be gained from a public confrontation: people are generally unwilling to change their opinions in a direction that threatens their social support system, and they are especially unwilling to do so at the behest of an internet stranger who cannot offer alternative forms of support. If a teen is genuinely curious about my opinion (that is *if they consent* to a discussion of disagreements) and if I have the mental bandwidth for a potentially emotionally loaded conversation, yeah I'll have it, but I'm not gonna maintain any illusions about my ability to change their mind until they can find a way to live independently.

This is also why my leniency toward the not-yet-adult tends to also extend to the recently-adult. Coming up with a system of beliefs that you're actually willing to stand behind? Shit takes time, and I'm not necessarily gonna expect it of a 20-year-old who may, for all I know, have been living under conditions of near-absolute control up until their 18th birthday. Sure they may be opening their mind in college, or college may be their parents way of keeping them too occupied with busywork to develop new opinions, as they continue to hold financial support over their head. It's around their mid-twenties that I'm willing to go full gloves-off antagonistic with strangers, knowing that they've had a few years of legal and social adulthood under their belt, and that even if they're still financially dependent on their parents it's a different sort of dependence, one where they're given default legal permission to run away from home.

A lot of people are deeply uncomfortable with this line of thinking because if you look too far into the factors that influence young people's thoughts, you eventually have to start asking yourself which forces of dependency are influencing your own beliefs and opinions. Yeah, as an independent adult you may have the option to quit your job, divorce your spouse, ditch your friends, move to another country, but realistically how many of these can you accomplish at the same time? How many do you even want to? And how are all of these forces *in aggregate* setting the acceptable limits of what you're allowed to think and feel? It can be upsetting to think of yourself this way, it can be easier to think of yourself as a true free thinker and children as mindless automatons, but I urge you to think of mentally coercive environments as a continuum rather than a binary. The point is not to free yourself from all influence, but to gain the ability to see yourself as an influenced mind, and to have compassion for those dealing with all the bullshit you don't have to anymore.

[desiree-uk]

DXVK Tips and Troubleshooting: Launching The Sims 3 with DXVK

A big thank you to @heldhram for additional information from his recent DXVK/Reshade tutorial! ◀ Depending on how you launch the game to play may affect how DXVK is working.

During my usage and testing of DXVK, I noticed substantial varying of committed and working memory usage and fps rates while monitoring my game with Resource Monitor, especially when launching the game with CCMagic or S3MO compared to launching from TS3W.exe/TS3.exe.

It seems DXVK doesn't work properly - or even at all - when the game is launched with CCM/S3MO instead of TS3W.exe/TS3.exe. I don't know if this is also the case using other launchers from EA/Steam/LD and misc launchers, but it might explain why some players using DXVK don't see any improvement using it.

DXVK injects itself into the game exe, so perhaps using launchers bypasses the injection. From extensive testing, I'm inclined to think this is the case.

Someone recently asked me how do we know DXVK is really working. A very good question! lol. I thought as long as the cache showed up in the bin folder it was working, but that was no guarantee it was injected every single time at startup. Until I saw Heldhram's excellent guide to using DXVK with Reshade DX9, I relied on my gaming instincts and dodgy eyesight to determine if it was. 🤭

Using the environment variable Heldhram referred to in his guide, a DXVK Hud is added to the upper left hand corner of your game screen to show it's injected and working, showing the DXVK version, the graphics card version and driver and fps.

This led me to look further into this and was happy to see that you could add an additional line to the DXVK config file to show this and other relevant information on the HUD such as DXVK version, fps, memory usage, gpu driver and more. So if you want to make sure that DXVK is actually injected, on the config file, add the info starting with:

dxvk.hud =

After '=', add what you want to see. So 'version' (without quotes) shows the DXVK version. dxvk.hud = version

You could just add the fps by adding 'fps' instead of 'version' if you want.

The DXVK Github page lists all the information you could add to the HUD. It accepts a comma-separated list for multiple options:

devinfo: Displays the name of the GPU and the driver version.

fps: Shows the current frame rate.

frametimes: Shows a frame time graph.

submissions: Shows the number of command buffers submitted per frame.

drawcalls: Shows the number of draw calls and render passes per frame.

pipelines: Shows the total number of graphics and compute pipelines.

descriptors: Shows the number of descriptor pools and descriptor sets.

memory: Shows the amount of device memory allocated and used.

allocations: Shows detailed memory chunk suballocation info.

gpuload: Shows estimated GPU load. May be inaccurate.

version: Shows DXVK version.

api: Shows the D3D feature level used by the application.

cs: Shows worker thread statistics.

compiler: Shows shader compiler activity

samplers: Shows the current number of sampler pairs used [D3D9 Only]

ffshaders: Shows the current number of shaders generated from fixed function state [D3D9 Only]

swvp: Shows whether or not the device is running in software vertex processing mode [D3D9 Only]

scale=x: Scales the HUD by a factor of x (e.g. 1.5)

opacity=y: Adjusts the HUD opacity by a factor of y (e.g. 0.5, 1.0 being fully opaque).

Additionally, DXVK_HUD=1 has the same effect as DXVK_HUD=devinfo,fps, and DXVK_HUD=full enables all available HUD elements.

desiree-uk notes: The site is for the latest version of DXVK, so it shows the line typed as 'DXVK_HUD=devinfo,fps' with underscore and no spaces, but this didn't work for me. If it also doesn't work for you, try it in lowercase like this: dxvk.hud = version Make sure there is a space before and after the '=' If adding multiple HUD options, seperate them by a comma such as: dxvk.hud = fps,memory,api,version

The page also shows some other useful information regarding DXVK and it's cache file, it's worth a read. (https://github.com/doitsujin/dxvk)

My config file previously showed the DXVK version but I changed it to only show fps. Whatever it shows, it's telling you DXVK is working! DXVK version:

DXVK FPS:

The HUD is quite noticeable, but it's not too obstructive if you keep the info small. It's only when you enable the full HUD using this line: dxvk.hud = full you'll see it takes up practically half the screen! 😄 Whatever is shown, you can still interact with the screen and sims queue.

So while testing this out I noticed that the HUD wasn't showing up on the screen when launching the game via CCM and S3MO but would always show when clicking TS3W.exe. The results were consistent, with DXVK showing that it was running via TS3W.exe, the commited memory was low and steady, the fps didn't drop and there was no lag or stuttereing. I could spend longer in CAS and in game altogether, longer in my older larger save games and the RAM didn't spike as much when saving the game. Launching via CCM/S3MO, the results were sporadic, very high RAM spikes, stuttering and fps rates jumping up and down. There wasn't much difference from DXVK not being installed at all in my opinion.

You can test this out yourself, first with whatever launcher you use to start your game and then without it, clicking TS3.exe or TS3W.exe, making sure the game is running as admin. See if the HUD shows up or not and keep an eye on the memory usage with Resource Monitor running and you'll see the difference. You can delete the line from the config if you really can't stand the sight of it, but you can be sure DXVK is working when you launch the game straight from it's exe and you see smooth, steady memory usage as you play. Give it a try and add in the comments if it works for you or not and which launcher you use! 😊 Other DXVK information:

Make TS3 Run Smoother with DXVK ◀ - by @criisolate How to Use DXVK with Sims 3 ◀ - guide from @nornities and @desiree-uk

How to run The Sims 3 with DXVK & Reshade (Direct3D 9.0c) ◀ - by @heldhram

DXVK - Github ◀

[bookworrm1999]

How Far Away? Part 11

Caleb x Mc

Tags: unplanned pregnancy, presumed death, depression, miscommunication

Summary: Mc and Caleb fight right before he goes on a long mission into space. Caleb ends up MIA while Mc finds out she's pregnant. She struggles to deal with the grief while Caleb is fighting for his life to make it back home to her.

AO3

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12

Epilogue

Stepping into the Professor’s house, he started clocking his surroundings.

He was aware of the office upstairs and the seperate drive semi-hidden in the corner that was only hooked up to the computer when needed.

The Professor was usually quite vigilant when it came to keeping that information safe and keeping it unconnected to an internet connection except when needed, it was a deterrent.

But Caleb wasn’t a hacker from some far off place, he was a wolf in sheep’s clothing sneaking in to do the deed himself.

The Professor came ambling around the corner from the kitchen, holding a steaming mug of coffee.

“Ah you’re here!”

“Yes.”

“I’m surprised that you set up the appointment yourself. Usually I have to drag you to check you myself.” The professor takes an unworried sip of his coffee, unaware of Caleb’s murderous thoughts.

“I’m glad though, I was honestly worried that we’d have to replace our prime weapon so soon after accomplishing greatness.”

Caleb was used to this, being referred to as an object, not even human in their eyes. An experimental weapon to be controlled and pointed at their enemies.

So he didn’t say a word.

The Professor gestured him up the floating glass stairs to the upstairs lab, coffee spilling past his chin uncaringly.

He followed his designated keeper up the stairs, all the while his mind whirring with possibilities for a natural looking assassination attempt.

The Professor was in good health, in good shape, and was generally cautious.

Planning this could take a bit of time but Caleb’s first priority was the files on his arm and the chip in his head.

He was gestured towards a chair, in the middle of the lab, a mirror of his setup at his own home.

Taking a seat after removing his jacket and shirt, plugs were connected to ports in his arm and his face grimaced the slightest bit.

Painful as always but they had done nothing to change this for him.

The professor took another big gulp of his coffee, setting it down and sitting at the monitor to check on the results.

“Good, I’m not seeing any issues from repeated use of the Evol or any degradation from time in space. Assimilation looks to be on schedule too.”

Caleb could feel the slow crawl of the machinery under his skin, transforming him slowly into their perfect weapon.

The Professor grimaced slightly and Caleb picks up a slight grumble from his stomach.

“Pardon me, I’ll be back.”

Leaving him to finish the diagnostic, he leaves the room presumably for the bathroom. Ah, the coffee. Well, this provides him a non-suspicious opportunity to head for the office.

Disconnecting himself, Caleb quickly made his way down the hall.

There was the drive in the corner, disconnected as usual. Oh well, it didn’t need to be connected to power because his own drive had a portable power supply.

Plugging it in, it loaded everything from the drive within a minute before turning red to indicate it was wiping the original drive.

Well, that’s one good thing about Sylus, he doesn’t skimp on quality products.

Sticking the small drive back into his pocket, he quickly makes his way back to the lab and connects himself once again. Pain shoots through his arm and his face shows the full extent this time.

Showing this in front of the Professor would only encourage him, taking pleasure in his pain.

It took another five minutes for the Professor to return from the bathroom.

“Ah good, we’re finished. Looks like nothing needs to be done. How is your chip?”

“Fine.”

“Mmm, we should do a diagnostic soon but not today, we’d need to open you and I don’t have the time.”

Ah his favorite, where the professor opens a port in his brain and messes with the chip embedded in the limbic system of his brain.

Usually, pressing on certain areas to see how Caleb responds, with no pain medication either.

Requiring him to fall into his brainwashed state to hide the fact that his chip was at a low integrity now.

Caleb didn’t respond to this and instead stands up to put his shirt and jacket back on.

As he buttons his shirt, the Professor looks at him a bit sadistically and Caleb gets a feeling in the pit of his stomach.

“A little bird told me that she has been spotted with a belly that appears to indicate pregnancy. Any idea how that could have happened?”

He knew.

The professor was taunting him with the knowledge, showing him that struggle was pointless as she was back in their sights.

His fingers trembled a bit but that was the only thing he allowed himself before Caleb just gave the other man a blank stare.

The uncaring man just laughed meanly

“Well, it makes no difference what you say. It’ll be ours in the end.”

The hairs raised on the back of his neck, his daughter, an it? That’s all their baby was worth to them?

“I’ll be heading out.”

The professor waves a dismissive hand at him as he turns back to the monitor.

As Caleb leaves, he clocks the floating stairs as he heads out.

Maybe that’s all he needs to do.

Waving a hand, he sets his trap.

Caleb makes his way out and gets in his car to drive a few streets away. Stopping at a bakery, he picks out a small tart for her to bring home.

All the while keeping a mental eye on his trap laid.

As he pays for the tart, he feels it.

A firm bump.

With a smile, he lets go of his mental hold.

The invisible but firm concentration of gravity that he had left in place at the top of those convenient floating stairs.

Caleb had left it there to catch his unsuspecting keeper off guard and send him careening down through the stairs to his death.

A simple fall shown by the camera’s view and an unfortunate accident.

Caleb had been there but there was nothing to implicate him as he was shown driving away and at another location at the time.

His trap invisible to anyone’s scrutinizing eye.

Satisfied, he takes the tart home to his love like a hunter returning from a successful hunt with prey.

**

The news, over the next few days, reports on the sad tragedy of the poor man falling to his death in his own home. No foul play was suspected as he had been home alone and no substance was found on the stairs.

The fleet had questioned him about the incident but there was nothing to hold him with even if they wanted to.

His love sat there on the couch, watching with a mix of relief and anxiety.

“When you went over there, I thought you were only going for the files and that you were waiting to find a good opportunity to kill him.”

“I was initially but-“ he paused, it was still a bad habit of his not to tell her things. “I didn’t tell you this but, he knew. He knew you were pregnant and that it was my baby. He threatened you and our little girl.”

“Oh, so you acted that fast because you were scared of what they might do.”

“I was terrified, I don’t know if he had discussed it with anybody else and I didn’t want to take the risk. It worked out fine, thankfully.”

“This time, but next time your target is an even higher profile. Please promise me you’ll be careful, all this work for you to end up in prison or worse killed, it would devastate me.”

“I’d let myself die if it kept you safe.”

She points a stern finger towards him

“Get that crap out of your head, we need you.”

Her hand rests on her ever growing belly.

Hearing that she needed him always made him happy, he smiled.

“Yes dear.”

Narrowing her eyes at the joke, she moves on.

“What will happen to Kevi?”

“I went through the Fleet to secure an unaffiliated foster family for him, I secretly deactivated his chip, it hadn’t been that long since he was first outfitted with it so they still had a kill switch for safety concerns. Young children often have issues with it due to their developing brains.”

“I hope he’ll be okay.”

“I worked with the foster family to secure a therapist for him, it’s up to Kevi if he opens up and accepts help. But I did my best to set him up for success.”

“Thank you.” She sighed a breath of relief, “I’ve been so worried about Kevi.”

Turning to him, she smiles in thanks.

Reaching out with his hand, he cups her cheek and she leans into him, closing in her eyes in contentment.

A quiet moment before Sylus and Zayne showed up.

After much bargaining, she had convinced him to let them into his home and secret room.

Following the instructions sent by Zayne, they had set it up to be a sterile room as much as possible while their resident doctor would be taking over when he made his appearance.

Zayne and Sylus would be sharing their findings after they had spent the past few days reviewing the new information they had sent to them.

Making paper copies and sending it via courier, one of the twins under Sylus’s care she had informed him.

Sylus had already conferred with Phillip and gotten his expertise so that there was no need to further compromise their home.

It was time, a knock came from the door, the two men had surprisingly showed up at the same time.

Coming in awkwardly, they stood there with large cases of luggage like they were moving in too.

Caleb cleared his throat to break the awkward silence and asked

“Well? What’s first?”

Sylus stepped forward

“My turn then. I’ll get straight to the point, they’re using a specialized nano probe that slowly transforms your body to be more machine-like from what we’ve seen with your arm.”

She sits forward and clasps Caleb’s hand, grounding them as a team.

“What can we do?”

“First, I need a blood sample because that’s where you’ll find the nano probes. We can’t fight against them but we can work with them. The original programming was in the files you sent but I need a live sample to do anything. My plan is to get a few nano probes, change their coding so that they act like a virus. Implanting the new programming all around your body to the other nano probes so that you won’t be at risk anymore.”

Caleb looks at her with excitement, it was possible! He didn’t have to become a machine.

It was Zayne’s turn then and from his face, they could tell it wasn’t pretty.

“It seems like you’re one of the few that Ever implanted the Toring chip directly into the brain itself. It keeps a bigger hold on you since it’s directly affecting your limbic system. There is a port that they left in the back of your skull for access, which does make it easier on me since I don’t have much experience with brain surgery.”

He seems to sigh and rub the bridge of his nose.

“What I’m about to say will seem crazy but it seems to be our best course of action. From the way they did things, they never intended to remove the chip. It is directly powered by your body’s low magnetic field and the chip has anchors that latch directly into your brain tissue. Taking it out by force would at best leave you with severe brain damage and at worst, kill you.”

“Is there anything we can do?” She asks this as she seems to place her body unconsciously in front of his, as if she could protect him from his own brain.

“I was getting to that, my theory is that if we can stop Caleb’s heart and make the chip think he’s medically dead, that the anchors will let his brain go and we can retrieve it then. The risk is that we may not be able to get him back, there’s no guarantee that we can start his heart up again.”

They look at each other, another dive into death and danger. Caleb was willing to take the risk, taking it out by force would mean that he might not even be Caleb anymore or that he’d die anyway.

She would hate this but it was their best course for success.

“Let’s do it then.”

Before going to the back room to set up, Zayne draws a vial of blood for Sylus.

Who then retrieves a computer with a specialized receiver for the blood they had just drawn. The centrifuge whirrs as it separates the blood from the nano probes.

Bringing up the new program on the monitor, he begins to overwrite the nano probes. Sylus makes idle conversation as they wait anxiously.

“That arm of yours is quite interesting, the possibilities, I’d be interested in taking a look at it if you’re amenable. I recall seeing that you can’t feel sensations besides pain, I think that we could work on that too if this all works out.”

She looks excited at the prospect of them being friends, Caleb can see it in the way she pulls herself to attention. Well, it wouldn’t be the worst thing to keep him close, Sylus has many useful contacts.

Zayne comes out, presumably having finished setting up.

Sylus asks

“Do you have a suspension fluid that we could inject into him safely?”

He does.

They prepare the reprogrammed nano probes, using the centrifuge to combine them into the fluid. Zayne is the one who injects it back into Caleb, into his other arm this time.

It’s a risk but he’ll have to trust his love’s judgment when it comes to these people, they’re his best chances for coming out of this safe and human.”

**

The three of them are in the backroom now, Sylus waited outside. Everyone of them had used the washing station and then suited up to be sterile.

She was just there for moral support as Caleb would be awake for part of this.

They’d be putting him to sleep when they shocked his heart into stopping.

Caleb lays face forward in a chair that looks like it’s meant for massages but has a scary looking rack to keep his head still attached.

“I’m trusting you to do this Dr. Zayne.”

“If you can’t trust me, trust me as a doctor who’s taken an oath.”

Grunting in acknowledgment as she sits next to him. Zayne secures his head in the rack before opening the port to his head to confirm the position of the chip.

He was given some pain medication before but there was still the odd sensation like a door being peeled open in his head.

The doctors voice coming through the mask muffled

“Confirming the chip’s location, it’s still where it was reported to be when inserted. Confirming visual on the anchors. I’ll now start the procedure if you two are ready.”

Caleb had already been hooked up to a heart monitor and a machine to shock his heart. To stop his heart and to bring him back.

They squeeze each other's hands, ready to do this to have a normal life together.

“Ready.”

“I’ll push this sedative then.”

Caleb feels his eyes go heavy.

**

You watch as Caleb is sedated and his eyes close, a minute passes before Zayne starts the machine to stop his heart.

“Beginning process.”

You can see Caleb’s muscles tighten and spasm before going loose, the heart monitor letting out a flat tone.

“Heart stopped, we have 5 minutes to succeed, confirming removal of anchors.”

You wait an agonizing 30 seconds, looking at Caleb’s slack face knowing that he’s technically dead right now. It sends your stomach rolling, it’s ok, Zayne will take care of him.

“Anchors removing themselves! I’m now reaching in with forceps for removal.”

He drops the small chip with long metallic strands hanging off into a dish on the side table.

“Closing port, beginning procedure to restart his heart.”

You help Zayne lay him back onto the table, the risk of infection low now that his brain was closed back up.

“Starting at 50, clear!”

Caleb’s body jerks a bit, but no heartbeat. Zayne starts CPR, keeping a steady rhythm.

No heartbeat except for the jumps being made from the CPR.

“Charging to 100, clear!”

Zayne steps back as you watch a bit helplessly. Watching Caleb’s slack face and the flat tone of the monitor.

Jerking again, but there’s nothing.

All you can hear as you collapse into the chair is Zayne’s voice calm but firm. The room spins, was this really a good idea?

The word “Clear!” would haunt your dreams.

Tags: @moonberry69 @supermyeon22 @tinnyrabbit @gavin3469 @marina27826 @crowleysthings @tabi-callico @midiplier

@his-ocean-emissary @rosalyne08

@xaviers-pookie-bear @tsunamethyst @thejujvtsupost @cherrybeomgyu

@gojosballsack69 @apple-lov3r @dinochocochip @violetpurplez @raiyuxa @nickibunny23 @sh3sa1dwhat @playboygeniusphilanthropist @flwerie @lynnlovesthestars @twilightsmissingfur

@kasuumi @i-messed-up-big-time @mcdepressed290 @mc-cos-charm @needsleep3000

[ghosts-bandwagon]

I can feel myself getting sick! And I hit my head super hard today and I’ve had a crazy headache ever since! So here’s the 141 taking care of their sick idiot s/o!

Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley:

He heard it the moment you spoke for the first time that day, you sounded congested and nasally

He made you some tea and heated up some soup, you laughed and asked about occasion

You knew you were getting sick but you’re a stubborn bitch so that means that you’re not sick and everything is fine

He knows you so he just shrugs and asks what’s wrong with soup for breakfast

He lets you go about the day, only stepping in when he sees you’re getting fatigued, discreetly suggesting you two lay down and watch a movie in bed

You’re getting the snacks ready when you drop the unopened bag of popcorn, as you’re straightening up you slammed your head on the granite countertop

It was so loud, Simon sprinted across the living room to make sure you were ok

He looked at your head and made sure you weren’t bleeding, when he didn’t see any surface damage he rushed to the freezer and pressed an ice pack on the back of your head

It was a little embarrassing and it took a lot to resist the urge to cry, he saw how much you were laughing to and playing it up and knew you felt worse than you let on

He guided you to bed, ice pack still pressed o your head, he ushered you under the covers, checking to make sure you weren’t concussed

Simon brewed a fresh cup of tea with a generous amount of honey and a light squeeze of lemon

He put on the movie and had a handful of throat lozenges in his pocket at the ready, fingers running through your hair, checking in on you and monitoring your symptoms

He blames himself for not interfering sooner but hearing your small cough and feeling you nuzzle into his chest made him feel needed, it was nice taking care of you, and a refreshing new way of being relied on

John ‘Soap’ MacTavish:

You kinda have to tell him if you’re feeling unwell

Not to say he doesn’t notice it when he sees you a little more fatigued and glassy eyed than usual

But as soon as you tell him you’re throat’s hurting, he’s up and making you some tea, while it’s brewing, he’s getting some cold medicine together and queuing your favorite movie

While he’s doing that he hears a loud ‘thunk’ and immediately runs over to check on you, he sees the cabinet door open and he sees you bent over and cradling your head

He can’t help the chuckle that comes out but he immediately shuts his mouth the moment he catches your glare

He fishes in the freezer for the ice pack and presses it against your head, he sends you to lay down on the couch but he catches you wobbling as you’re walking

He was at your side in a second, he hurried back to the kitchen and got some water for you

He sat beside you and rubbed your back, careful of his volume and careful not to move you too much

Needless to say, you didn’t lift a finger the rest of the day

John Price:

Like Ghost, he heard it in your voice when you first said ‘good morning’

Except he was more adamant on catching it sooner rather than later, he made you some Theraflu and didn’t move an inch until you finished it

If he heard you cough throughout the day, he’d magically appear with a cough drop ready for you to eat

Your water bottle doesn’t have a chance to be empty, same thing with your tea cup, it always managed to stay filled

You were loading up the laundry machine when you smacked your head hard against the rim, it was so loud John was at your side in a heartbeat

He cradled your head and checked your scalp for a cut or any blood, when he didn’t see any he gently applied pressure and walked you both to the kitchen where he grabbed the ice pack

He guided you to the bedroom where he instructed you to sit on the bed, he noticed your walking was a little uneven and all his training came to him in a split second

He walked you to the bed and knelt down in front of you, asked you to follow his fingers, took out his phone and turned on his flashlight, checking your pupils and asking you to follow it

He held the ice pack firmly against your head and ran down the list of symptoms, asking you and making sure you were ok

He didn’t leave your side for the rest of the day unfortunately for your partially loaded laundry

Kyle ‘Gaz’ Garrick:

You told him that morning that you were feeling congested and he went to pharmacy as soon as you mentioned it

When he came back, he saw you doubled over and clutching your head, he sets the bags down and hurried to your side

“Sweetheart, what happened?” He asked, you explained that you dropped your phone under the table and didn’t realize how close you were to it when you hit your head on the edge

“Babe if you missed me that much, you could’ve called, I would’ve come back sooner.” He teased, you punched him in the arm as hard as you could,

When your punch was lighter than usual, he got worried and had you sit down on the couch

He handed you the bag full of snacks and pulled out a bottle of Gatorade for you to slowly drink

While you were doing that he went to the kitchen to grab an ice pack and wrap a towel around it

He sat beside you and handed it to you to press to the area, in the meantime he opened a package of cough lozenges and handed you one

He got up and started making your favorite ramen flavor and brewing a cup of lemon ginger tea with a generous helping of honey

He sat beside you and held the ice pack against your head while you ate, he turned the tv on to your favorite show and kissed your head and your cheek

He made sure all your needs were tended to for the day and spoiled you rotten

[anachronisims]

How to EFFECTIVELY Use Empty Standby List to Reduce Flashing and Crashing

This tutorial is for TS2. Obviously. This is virtually the last "chapter" of advice for the Pink Flashing Survey Report (still forthcoming as a single readable thing but posted in bits and pieces over the last six months). PS it's a lonnnnnnng post. Ctrl+F "tldr" for the very short version once you open the cut.

"Part 1" of the Empty Standby List ("ESL") tutorial was already written comprehensively with screenshots by Digi at her wordpress. Following Digi's tutorial will get you set up with ESL as a routine automated background task your computer runs, typically every five minutes.

@gayars set up two instances of the routine, each running every five minutes, staggered two/three minutes apart. In other words, task 1 runs at 12:00, task 2 runs at 12:03, task 1 runs at 12:05, task 2 runs at 12:08, etc. However, I found that this negatively impacted the graphical performance of my game, notably by having the ESL task window flash over the game window, which I had never seen before, nor since reverting back to a single 5-minute task routine.

Anyway. Go do Digi's tutorial if you haven't already; I'll wait.

Background on Why this Matters

So, now your computer will be wiping the standby memory every five minutes. The thing is, this won't be able to have much impact on your game unless you wait to let it wipe before you do a major loading action.

Major loading actions are, in general order of strain (most to least strenuous):

Loading a full neighborhood.

Loading a large (3x4 or bigger) populated lot.

Loading a large unpopulated lot.

Loading actual CAS, if you have a lot of non-defaulted CC.

Loading a medium (3x3) populated lot.

Loading a medium unpopulated lot.

Loading a small (2x3 or smaller) populated lot.

Loading a small unpopulated lot.

Loading CAS catalogs from within a lot (e.g. using FFS clothing tool, "Change Appearance" on the mirror, shopping for clothes/trying on clothes on a community lot).

Turning up your lot view settings (generating other lots' lot imposters within your current lot)/panning the camera around.

You should already be doing at least all medium- and large-lot loading with the Lot View Settings Juggling Method, and “uint LotSkirtIncrease” removed from your userstartup.cheat - otherwise whenever you load a lot you are compounding the strain by also having the neighborhood load at the same time.

Using Resource Monitor Effectively

If you watched the Jessa Channel tutorial on flashing, she recommended downloading a third-party RAM usage monitoring software. This is unnecessary. For purposes of reducing your crashing, all you need is the native Windows program "Resource Monitor" that she also recommends.

To open it:

Click the Windows symbol/start menu.

Begin typing "Resource Monitor."

Click Resource Monitor when it shows up.

Once it is open, get to the useful information:

Click the "Memory" tab.

Make sure the "Processes" and "Physical Memory" subs are fully open, as above.

Sort by "Commit (KB)."

Each time you reopen Resource Monitor, it should restore your last view settings, so you won't have to repeat these steps.

While Resource Monitor is still open, "Pin" it to the taskbar so it will always be readily accessible.

Right-click the icon on the taskbar.

Click "Pin to taskbar."

If it says "Unpin from taskbar" you have already done this step :)

Now comes the monitoring part. You will focus on the dark-blue "Standby" block of the bar graph on Physical Memory.

Every fifth minute, when the ESL task runs, this will flash down to 0 and then pop up to about 30-75, depending on what you are doing. It will go higher faster if you are doing stuff, obviously, and hover pretty low if your computer is just sitting still. TLDR the remainder of this tutorial: only take stress actions when Standby is below 100.

As we all know too well, TS2 has a 4gb RAM limit. The problem is, TS2 seems to count the memory that is in standby, too, not just the committed/working set. Thus, before you take a major loading action (that is going to push up to 1.5gb into Standby), you need to wait for Standby to wipe so the game doesn't accidentally think it's using more memory than it is. Got it?

This is how much RAM my game is using when my neighborhood opens, pretty closely zoomed in on any particular lot. If it is zoomed out further - like a whole city block - both committed and working set are easily over 2.2gb. When I pan around the neighborhood, it continues going up. Portions of the hood that go back out of view seem to get relegated to standby, but yes, my game has crashed just from looking too much at my neighborhood from too wide an angle. Unless I slow down and let ESL run before moving on to the next section.

Six months of diligent Resource Manager monitoring has resulted in substantial reductions of crashing and flashing on my first hood view load and first lot view load. It is not 100% guaranteed, but it cuts it back to Very Playable Levels. And when I have tested the theory by purposefully not letting ESL run before a stress point, it always flashes and/or crashes within the next couple minutes.

SO! Here's what I do when I'm launching my game.

Because of overheating concerns, I always fully shut down my computer when I'm not using it for more than an hour. If I have been playing and experience a flash or crash, I will restart before trying again. @infinitesimblr, a survey Respondent who reported virtually no flashing or crashing despite a vast CC catalog, also recommends restarting between using Bodyshop or SimPE and the full game. I have found it may make a difference with Bodyshop (which I use too rarely to make a pseudoscientific claim) but that I have found basically no impact going from SimPE to the game. YMMV.

Immediately after Windows is done loading, I open Resource Monitor and wait a few minutes. Often background updates begin running and the Standby bar goes crazy - sometimes filling up the entire available RAM - and I just let it sit and do its thing. (Usually I start the computer right before my kid's bedtime so I am not actively waiting on it or anything. Go take a shower or make a sandwich or drink some water, like you did in the old days when the game itself took 20 minutes to load.)

Once the standby bar levels out and is consistently peaking no higher than about 250mb between ESL wipes, after the next ESL wipe, I will launch the game. (Usually between logging into Windowsat the beginning of storytime and checking Resource Monitor before we go do tuck-in, it is reliably hanging out below 100 unless a big TS4 or Windows update was downloading.)

Reminder: do not delete thumbnails anymore prior to launching the game. I also have turned off RPC's clear caches option and have observed faster loading times with minimal increases in crashing.

After the neighborhood selection screen comes up, wait for ESL to run again before opening your neighborhood.

If you have continue to have more than VERY sporadic hood load flashing after taking these steps, you should try launching into a subhood if you have one, then pivoting to the main hood if that's where you're playing that session after yet another ESL wipe. If that doesn't help you simply need to thin out your hood or accept the flashing. (I ended up deleting about 25% of my deco trees and 10-15 outer-lying lots that will be re-placed in a subhood.)

After the hood is loaded, navigate to the lot you want, but DO NOT actually load that lot until ESL runs yet again. Ditto for CAS - Do not select "Create New Family" until ESL has run again.

Play should be proceed as normal at this point. You probably don't need to alt-tab back to Resource Monitor again unless your sims are going traveling or you are changing play lots.

BONUS TIP #1: You can put a shortcut to the ESL routine on your desktop and push it manually (just double click the icon) if you don't feel like waiting once the game is loaded. I have had imperfect results with this vs. just waiting the five minutes, though, because the game wants to run through some stuff and flush it. But it's an option for you to experiment with.

BONUS TIP #2: If you have a really deep clothing/hair CC catalog, try to avoid using the FFS clothing tool option where you select every outfit for the sim, and their hair and makeup, at the same time. Instead, choose individual outfits by type and use the regular mirror option to change appearance (or SimBlender has it, I think, so they can do it where they already are).

[elliesappetite]

Doctor Williams is in the house (inspired by Grey's Anatomy) - Chapter Two

FREE PALESTINE

Rating: 18+ (Age Gap - Ellie is 38, Reader is 28)

Summary: you slept with Ellie Williams after a night out. You're a surgical intern, what could possibly go wrong? (Doctor AU)

Tags: Angst if you squint, Fluff, Tension, Age Gap

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"They said it gets easier. They never said easier still hurts."

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 .

You don’t sleep.

Not after the code.

Not after Dr. Miller’s cold, clinical rebuke stripped you bare in front of the trauma team. Not after the adrenaline left your system like a sucked-out tide, leaving nausea in its wake. You barely made it to the back loading bay before you doubled over, retching onto the pavement, the cold rain soaking your scrubs and washing everything away—except the guilt.

You stood there for ten minutes, maybe twenty, staring at the floodlit ambulance bay, the puddles reflecting the sky like shattered glass. But nothing could reflect what you felt. Not the shame. Not the panic. And not the pain in your chest that had a name.

Ellie.

You see her face every time you blink. That look—devastating, unreadable, like she was looking through you. Like she was watching something fall and knew she couldn’t stop it.

The word she used—go—echoes louder than a shout. She didn’t yell. She didn’t have to. It was the way she said it, clipped and final, like she was cutting a wire between you with surgical precision.

And you obeyed.

You’re not sure if it was the professional command of an attending or something more intimate, more terrifying. Something like goodbye.

You walk the halls now like a wraith, barely touching the world around you. Nurses nod with perfunctory sympathy. Fellow residents look at you too long, like they’re afraid to ask but hungrier still for gossip. You haven’t spoken to anyone but patients in hours. And even then, your voice doesn’t feel like your own.

Katie’s name is still on your lips, though.

Katie, the seventeen-year-old high school soccer star. Katie, whose vitals you were supposed to be tracking. Katie, whose monitor flatlined in front of a dozen stunned medical professionals because you missed the early signs. Katie, who’s alive because Ellie stepped in, cracked her ribs, called the code, ran the room like a war general.

You stood frozen.

And now you sit frozen, in the dim stairwell somewhere between the third and fourth floor. This place is a kind of sanctuary—forgotten, cold, full of echoes and shadows. No one comes here unless they’re desperate to escape. Your pager, miraculously still, rests on your thigh. You haven’t even bothered to wipe the rain from your face. The streaks of water could be tears and you wouldn't know the difference anymore.

You don't expect anyone to find you here.

That’s why it shocks you when the door opens with a soft, reluctant creak.

You don’t look up. Not at first. You know that presence. You feel it. It’s a kind of gravity that makes your breath catch and your spine straighten, even when you want to fold in on yourself completely.

Ellie.

You close your eyes. For a moment, you want to pretend this is a dream. That she’s just a figment of your fraying subconscious, here to scold or comfort or both.

But the door closes with a solid thunk, and when she steps closer, her boots echo on the concrete. No dream is that clear.

“I figured I’d find you here,” she says, her voice low.

You tilt your head back against the wall, letting your eyes open slowly. You don’t want to see her. And you don’t want to not see her.

“I wasn’t hiding,” you manage.

“I know,” she replies, taking a few steps down and sitting two stairs above you, just close enough that her knees nearly brush your shoulder. “Just… avoiding.”

Her coat is damp. So is her hair. She must’ve just come from the same rain that soaked you earlier, and it makes her look a little less like a goddess of vengeance and a little more like a woman who hasn’t slept either.

The silence that falls isn’t uncomfortable. It’s worse than that—it’s charged. It’s intimate. It’s full of things neither of you wants to say out loud.

“I didn’t mean to come down on you so hard earlier,” she says after a long pause. Her voice is quieter now. Gentler. “I was angry...and scared.”

“You were right,” you say immediately. You don’t want her kindness. You want honesty, and you want punishment. “I should’ve paged Miller. I froze.”

Ellie shakes her head. “No. You made a call. A hard one. And you acted. You didn’t freeze—you responded. You stayed with her. You did what you thought was right.”

“She almost died.”

“She didn’t.”

You look at her then. Really look. Her face is tired, her eyes rimmed with exhaustion and something softer—concern, maybe. Or something more dangerous.

“It felt like luck,” you whisper.

Her gaze doesn’t waver. “It wasn’t.”

The silence that returns now is different. It stretches long and deep. Like standing on the edge of something high and knowing the wind could push you forward or back. But not knowing which would hurt more.

“This thing between us,” you say, your voice catching, “it’s a line we keep pretending doesn’t exist.”

Ellie’s eyes flicker. “I know.”

“Then why are you here?”

It’s not a challenge. It’s not even a plea. It’s raw confusion, laid bare in the dark.

Her voice breaks a little. “Because I can’t keep pretending.”

You swallow hard, feeling like the floor might fall out from under you.

“I told myself,” you murmur, “if we ignored it long enough, it’d just fade away.”

“Did it?” she asks.

You shake your head. “No.”

Her eyes are locked on yours now. You want to look away but you can’t.

“I kept thinking about your face in that room,” she says. “When Katie crashed. You looked like you’d lost someone.”

“I almost did.”

She flinches at that, and suddenly she’s leaning forward, closer, her voice fraying. “And I almost lost you. That scared me more than anything else tonight.”

It breaks something open in your chest.

You exhale, shaky, trying to anchor yourself. “I can’t do this. Not with you as my attending. Not with… the way things are. People talk. People assume. One mistake and they won’t even care about the medicine.”

“I know.”

“But if it were different…”

“If it were different,” Ellie whispers, her breath ghosting across your cheek, “I’d already be kissing you again.”

Something in you snaps. Or maybe unravels.

Because one second you’re looking at her, and the next you’re moving—both of you. Like magnets. Like inevitability.

Your hand fists in the lapel of her coat. Her fingers slide into your damp hair. And then you’re kissing her, and it’s like nothing else exists.

Not the hospital. Not Katie. Not the rules. Not even the guilt.

Just Ellie.

It’s not like the first time. That first kiss had been quiet, soft, full of fear and curiosity. It had happened on a different night in a different hallway, one full of uncertain glances and too-long silences.

This kiss is nothing like that.

This kiss is violent with longing. Her mouth crashes into yours like a wave, like something that had waited too long and couldn’t bear the distance anymore. You kiss her like she’s air, like she’s warmth, like she’s the only steady thing in a world full of breaking points.

She presses you back against the wall, and you let her. Your hands roam, not in lust but in need, memorizing the weight of her, the shape, the reality. She kisses you again and again like she’s making up for lost time. Like if she kisses you enough, maybe she can undo the space between you.

You break the kiss first. Just barely. Your foreheads touch. You’re both gasping.

“If you tell me to stop,” she says, eyes closed, “I will.”

You look at her. And for the first time all night, there’s no fear. Only truth.

“I don’t want you to stop.”

And so she doesn’t.

You kiss again. Slower. Deeper. Her mouth tastes like rain and cheap hospital coffee and something else you can’t name. Something sharp and dangerous and real.

You wonder if she tastes regret on your tongue.

But it doesn’t matter. Not tonight.

Tonight, she isn’t Dr. Williams.

And you aren’t the intern who almost failed.

Tonight, you're just two people reaching for each other in the dark, in a world where everything else hurts.

You pull her closer, and for a moment, the noise of the hospital vanishes. There’s only this stairwell. Only her breath. Only the thunder of your pulse echoing in your ears.

You don’t know what comes next. Morning will arrive. People will ask questions. There will be consequences. There always are.

But right now, in this sliver of borrowed time—

You choose each other.

Even if no one else ever can.

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taglist: @urmajestyalex @liasxeatt @bready101 @nattakasuperlesbian

[ltwilliammowett]

Half time with our calendar and this is the perfect moment to introduce you to a lady who shows the interface of Age of Sail and Age of Steam. She is generally regarded as the start of the Age of Steam and yet she still has both elements. But who am I talking about ? - The HMS Warrior

More about her history here:

HMS WARRIOR was built as part of Britain’s response to concerns over France’s maritime ambitions which included the building of LA GLOIRE, a powerful ironclad which was the most advanced warship of its day.  WARRIOR was commissioned on 1 August 1861 and at that time unquestionably ruled the seas. Her main guns, engines and boilers were contained within an armoured wrought iron hull and she could be driven by both steam and sail. This combination meant that she could outrun and outgun any ship afloat and she never fired a shot in anger – the classic deterrent.

During the first commission her main role was to lead the Channel Squadron. On 22 November 1864 she paid off for her first major refit at Portsmouth Dockyard during which the ship was comprehensively refurbished. She was also completely re-armed with 7” and 8” muzzle loaded rifled guns. However, in the American Civil War the success of the Monitor was to have a dramatic effect on naval thinking and WARRIOR’s role as ‘Monarch of the Seas’ was to be very short-lived.

She re-commissioned in July 1867 and re-joined the Channel Fleet. The second commission was rather less interesting than the first as she was no longer regarded as the most powerful warship afloat and faded from the limelight. The second commission ended in 1871 and she then spent four years in refit at Portsmouth being fitted with improved boilers, steam power for the forward capstan and a new poop deck to accommodate an Admiral.  On completion in 1875 she became part of the First Reserve Fleet where she was to remain until paying at Portsmouth on 31 May 1883.

After periods as a depot ship and part of HMS VERNON she was paid off in 1924. She was then converted for use as a floating oil jetty and in 1929 was towed to Pembroke Dock where she was to remain for the next 50 years. In 1967 the campaign to restore WARRIOR started and prominent in this was Sir John Smith who formed the Manifold Trust. A committee chaired by the Duke of Edinburgh met in 1968 to discuss her future and from this emerged the Maritime Trust. When Pembroke Dock closed in 1978 the Manifold Trust agreed to underwrite the cost of restoration and the ship was handed over to the Maritime Trust in 1979.

In 1983 ownership was transferred to the Ship’s Preservation Trust which became the Warrior Preservation Trust in 1983. Although the hull was very sound the rest of the ship was in a poor state. The task which was part restoration and part re-building needed vast resources not only of money (£8M) but also of skill, patience and endurance. The 8 year restoration programme at Hartlepool transformed her into one of the world’s most important historic warships and in 1987 she returned to Portsmouth where she is now moored in the Historic Dockyard.

A planned preservation programme is in place for the ship and over the years she has been dry-docked twice, and the upper deck, (£725K provided by the Heritage Lottery Fund), all three fighting tops and half moons and the stern gallery have been replaced.