#Get More Practical Knowledge
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Nobody’s gonna buy ur 599$ marketable plushie stop tryna sell it to us -_-
#black butler#kuroshitsuji#black butler fanart#undertaker black butler#undertaker#ciel phantomhive#sebastian michaelis#o!ciel#this was a joke post but then I was like what if I attempt a background again#it looks crusty but if u squint from afar it’s ok#the day I fully render a piece is the day I get to retire but I’m like. too lazy#just sketches with colors slapped on top#my friend taught me how to use the perspective tool and I’ve been messing with it but I am -_- lacking in knowledge#though ill mostly likely practice drawing more backgrounds now that I know how it Works
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"they're not graceful", "they're not elegant", "They're not angelic"
-and i took that personally (as a challenge!)
#flight rising#frfanart#fr everlux#my art#quick doodles#literally the closest dragons you can get to a biblically accurate angel#this was mostly just for some practice#(...and take a break from the monster of a piece i've been working on for like 2 weeks now :') )#but this was also drawn with just the slightest bit of spite >:t#and i know they already explained Light being more about scholarship and knowledge#but even so i think the funny little worms fit perfectly fine into the 'angelic' category#like look at some of the new genes they released with!!#and freaking cherub!?!?!??! HELLO!?!?!??? AM I THE ONLY ONE SEEING THIS!??!?!?!?!??!?#*banging my pots and pans* WAKE UP PEOPLE!!!!#anyways the new Light gecko-bugs are good 👍#and some people are cowards#(and if i see any nasty behavior in the notes. i WILL block on sight -.-)#hey look i even got it done in time for a fat dragon friday!
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You ever gonna make poorly drawn TGCF?
Long answer short: No.
But, I have a tag for TGCF fanart I've done, and I probably will draw more in the future!
If you're looking for a comic with 'silly summary' energy, I *highly* recommend Tempo-Takoyaki's 'Almost TGCF' Series.
#ask#The long answer is quite long and since being 'milchucked' at work to be more succinct I must practice my brevity.#Many people have asked me about a poorly-drawn-tgcf in the past and some people have set up a blog to try drawing it.#No one has gotten very far.#Tempo's approach is unique but probably the closest we will get to a silly comic adaption for TGCF.#And it's really amazing. I can't recommend it enough!#The bigger issue is that the series is just way too long for one person to do.#And I already have a few 'next projects' after pd-mdzs lined up!#(One will be staying in the MDZS world - then I'm taking inspiration from Tempo to try and retell SVSSS based on my limited knowledge).#If you want to see more TGCF from me...I am currently doing monthly art raffles on Ko-Fi!
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ok my OTHER reflection:
on the one hand its really frustrating to see the posts about docs and healthcare in general on here be so narrow-minded. bad experiences with certain providers have lead to a huge spread of misinformation and mistrust with the whole system. which can and HAS lead to people avoiding 'evil' doctors for perfectly treatable illnesses and dying from them (the vaccine bullshit, anyone?)
but on the other hand. it is TERRIFYING how some of these docs practice medicine. at times i think 'are you just burned out and don't give a shit or are you straight up just stupid?' and i work in critical care. where quite literally every case is life or death. even in the academic sector where there is supposedly a standard of excellence, some doctors i would not let touch my loved ones with a ten foot pole.
and that sucks. i know this is the no nuance piss on the poor webbed site but 'the medical system and people that work for it are fallible and aspects of it are morally questionable at best/unethical at worst' AND 'the field of medicine exists to help people first and foremost and mistrusting/avoiding it can be detrimental in the long run' can and DO co-exist
#also. folks i hate to tell you but 'doctors get big pharma kickbacks and they can cure you but just choose not to to get more money'#is a very tempting conspiracy theory. but it is SO UNTRUE.#hey listen. if someone is telling you they can 'cure' your disease magically if you just take x vitamin THEY ARE LYING#even miraculous cures like bone marrow transplants for autoimmune disease and CAR-T therapy#have such severe side-effects that they quite literally kill you#i can't tell you how many times i've taken care of people who#had their cancer 'cured' but the treatment ruined their kidneys/heart/lungs#or fucked their immune system so bad that a common bacteria could completely take them out#anyone selling you miracles is L Y I N G#i understand that a lot of this anger is around disability and chronic illness and psych and i get that. intimately.#its 100% accurate to say that a patient who researched independently about ehlers-danlos or POTS knows more about it than i do.#and its hard to see the profession as 'people who sincerely ARE trying to help' when you actively work with people who fucking suck#and you think like 'you went to school. you went through all this training. you (presumably) passed boards'#we should have at least around the same level of knowledge#but that is often not the case#still#making large scale statements about an entire profession (especially when its supposed to be a civic service) is just... not good#my two cents rec for this is:#if you think you have something rare or unusual try to find a doc that specialized in this i.e. go to an academic center.#trainees are less set in their ways and can think outside the box PLUS if there are new/innovative treatments they would have them#if you need pretty much ANY surgery. private is the way to go#you want surgeons with high volume and experience#surgical techniques do not change on the dime. most havent changed in 50+ years. a lot of other medicine DOES#(this of course does not apply to specialized surgeries like whipple or PTE or schwannoma resection - go to academics for that)#if its REALLY rare whether medical or surgical your GP will not know what to do with you#academic centers are referral centers. they are more likely to have the right tools to diagnose/treat#where was i going with this?#oh yeah i had an odd interaction with an ED doc admitting to me last night that was NOT practicing within current standard of care#and was just so casual and assured i started to doubt MYself. like. am I the crazy one?!?!#like i'm young i dont know everything SURE
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me listening to drawfee in the background while they discuss why denim is blue, apparently
#it's not just this i also recently had to explain to my partner the practical differences between a woven pattern and an embroidered one#am... am i a textile person now?#anyway to answer drawfee's questions: denim is a specific heavy weave of cotton and it's blue out of tradition#because indigo is non-water-soluble WHICH MEANS that (real) indigo dyes can contribute to the waterproofing#also because indigo has been a cash crop in the carolinas since the 1700s so it was pretty easy to get hold of in bulk in the usa#but most jean denim now is made with artificial indigo or other artificial blue dyes not all of which give that waterproofing effect#tbh most jeans are also not real denim now. you can tell because there is no such thing as lightweight denim or stretch denim.#denim is a very dense and heavy weave of pure cotton made for hard wear and water-resistance#lightweight and stretch denims are more accurately “denim-effect” cotton-blend fabrics which LOOK like denim but aren't#kinda like how a lot of modern tartans aren't actually tartan weave even when they're wool#anyway the point is let's all laugh at me#sitting here spitting out my tea like KARINA YOU FOOL OF COURSE DENIM IS COTTON like this knowledge is imparted at birth#i want to be so clear i am not mocking drawfee for not knowing things i am mocking myself#drawfee
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There's two people who could be on the receiving end of this in my mind, one of them is a blue hedgehog and the other is a bat.
Rig made by Aixa Massoni (Find it here!) and the background is from SonicXShadow Generations.
#asharts#animation#shadow the hedgehog#hello friends ive been practicing with rigs#lots behind the scenes but i dont like a lot of it#there is a serious gap in my harmony knowledge and im attempting to fill it#been getting by long enough without needing to take action but the time is now#so expect some more rigged stuff maybe??? maybe???#we know how it is with me ill post a bunch for like a month and then go dark for several fdjkghdf#last week of this awful gig is going great because no assignments are coming in#so im having time to dink around on company time#there are things about this anim that bother me but not enough to change it#time to move on to the next thing#ily friends thanks for stickin with me
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Hiiii not sure if anyone's asked this yet but any advice on how to improve on art & anatomy? I use to draw a lot wayyyy back in high school but then stopped because of life getting in the way but now I really wanted to get back into art but realized my art isn't as good as it use to be & I never really cared too much about studying anatomy so all my anatomy/proportions are really wack & I'd like to get better at it. Hope you're having a good day!!! 💞💞💞
HI!!! i dont have any formal training in anatomy nor have i really done any studies, so unfortunately i think i can only offer general advice, but hopefully you can still find it helpful! here's what i'd recommend based on my own experience...
focus on proportions BEFORE anatomy! nailing down the size/length of each body part in relation to each other will give you a good foundation before getting into the specifics of anatomy, since you can practice this with simple shapes (circles, boxes, tubes, etc.). then practice anatomy/build on top of that, rather than trying to figure them out in parallel
practice from real life observation/references (ex. figure drawing)! even if you want to draw stylized, it'll be much more helpful in the long run if you study from real life. you'll be a lot more informed in how body parts actually connect to each other or how they move. observe observe observe! take pics of yourself/watch how your body moves--you can be your own most accessible resource, and a mirror and camera can be your best friends
find a way to keep yourself motivated to practice anatomy! everyone says that you only get better with practice and time... and it's true! but i can understand that sometimes it's hard to motivate yourself. if you ask me, draw your favorite characters :) it's literally all i do HAHA. my mentality is that... if i'm drawing something that i like then the practice feels less of a chore lol
#sorry these are kind of vague T_T i dont have a ton of technical knowledge...#i draw mostly based on intuition formed by years and years of observation lol#which is why i would put the most emphasis on the second bullet point btw!#i think its the main reason why ive gotten to this point in drawing while being self taught#but also bc ive been drawing for a very long time too#also sorry this took me a couple of days to answer T_T it takes me a while to come up with a response to these types of questions#bc im not great at articulating my thoughts HAHA <- not a words person#but i'm really flattered to get an ask like this T_T i wish i could give better/more specific answers T_T#i think its awesome that you want to get back into drawing tho T_T it's inspiring me to keep practicing as well#i actually saw this ask right after i got back from watching look back over the weekend LMAOOO#I WAS SO DEEPLY MOVED...!!! HAVING ALREADY BEEN SO RAW WITH EMOTION#IM ROOTING FOR YOU ANON..........!!! DONT GIVE UP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KEEP DRAWING!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I think a key thing to remember when judging all those "Astarion/Minthara/Lae'zel disapproves" reactions to like... helping orphans is that in context they're often rather realistic and practical considering what's being asked of them. If anything it's the more good-aligned companions willingness to drop everything and risk their lives to help randos in need of help that is unreasonable to expect.
Remember, from their perspective things like save-scumming are not real. They cannot metagame and prepare for what specific enemy or attack they might face. In-universe, death has consequence and you can die. Plus we're on an unknown time limit here to potential squid-ifying, not to mention their own personal baggage.
It's like... they're playing blind and on Honour Mode, and the consequences of failure isn't just a story going the way you might not like or your fave character dying. It's actual life and death. There are real stakes here for them.
So while yes they can approve of just... petty asshole stuff or even genuinely evil stuff, it's not unreasonable for them to have a problem with risking their lives for random strangers. Because if they're in your party, that's what you're doing. Making the choice to put their lives on the line for strangers. If anything they're all oddly brave and ride-or-die for whatever bullshit decisions you make from the start--I mean it takes a lot of reckless altruism while also being an asshole to them specifically (it's not hard to balance their approval by being nice to them directly on a good playthrough) to get them to hate you, let alone ditch the group.
#bg3#I feel like as players we get blinded by all our player knowledge and how the stakes feel to US#that we forget to look at how they impact the characters in-universe#like my previous post on how the Emperor has very sympathetic and understandable reasons for manipulating you#and is even quite restrained and fair considering what the stakes are for it#like with how the math actually plays out. Astarion will grumblingly put his life on the line for whatever side quests you want to go on#and will still come to like and trust you so long as personally you're supportive of him and his bodily autonomy#and even the more power-hungry evil stuff... Minthara and Astarion usually approve of such for very practical (if ruthless)#reasons because for them power = safety#Minthara is actually very chill and trusting of your judgment considering how she lived prior to joining us on our quest#to help every kitten stuck in a tree#and Lae'zel is actually very compassionate. it just presents very aggressively and selectively#and like obviously as adventurers now risking their lives is kinda par for the course#but I still can't judge them entirely for disliking being volunteered out for charity work with no guaranteed reward#and a very real chance of death
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This isn't completely related to selfshipping but i unironically love making up shipnames for my s/i and the tf2 characters.
[also to note: some of these are not canon; pyro and scout are friends; and saxton hale is just kinda there. idk he's alright.]
Engineer x Morale: Radio Repair
Soldier x Morale: Roger That
Spy x Morale: Esprit de corps, Radio Drama
Medic x Morale: Herzschlag / Heartbeat
Demoman x Morale: Boombox
Sniper x Morale: Radio Silence, National Outback
Heavy x Morale: Tea and Jam
Scout x Morale: Skip Distance
Pyro x Morale: Smoke Signals
Miss Pauling x Morale: Two-way Radio
Saxton Hale x Morale: Mating Calls [this one is just dumb ignore]
Proships DNI
#if you are wondering: yes i've completely exhausted any possible communication term that personally sounded cool#{insert me becoming autistic over radios because of my s/i having a radio motif}#half of these have a radio / communications motifs on morale's end bc see above#also some explanations on the name bc why not:#radio repair is self-explanatory (engie solving practical problems and all)#roger that is slang in the military (but mostly in general) to say ' i understand ' and ofc that would remind me of him#the english word morale was originated from the french term espirit de corps (so of course)#i had so much trouble w/ medic until i remembered 'heartbeat' a few days ago and i facepalmed by how long it took me to figure that out#by comparison; boombox was the fastest and by far the easiest to think of (radio motif + boom)#radio silence was also self-explanatory#but the 2nd one references yosemite national park and the outback (since morale originates in mariposa and sniper lives in the bush)#i kinda want to do more w/ morale originating in mariposa bc that place is gorgeous#fun fact: adding jam (strawberry blackberry ect.) is a common addition for russian tea culture and i wanted to use my knowledge somehow#both miss pauling and morale would communicate via two-way radio or walkie-talkie (so that was a easy pick)#smoke signals because get it fire + a form of communication im a genius#skip distance is a distance a radio wave travels in and it usually includes a hop in the ionosphere (<- NERD)#tf2 oc#oc x canon#and thats it#💞📻#[just me yapping]
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Hey, I noticed your post on Ectonurite religious practices, and I thought the concepts were very interesting. I’m a big fan of the Anur System myself, to the point I’ve learned how to make languages for them, if that’s not too weird…
In reference to this post-
The 'having a favourite fictional setting' to 'make a conlang' pipeline is all to real Pilgrim, my linguistics teacher let me use mine for my end of term project instead of the assigned analysis (transcribing a conversation between yourself and a friend, which probably would've been useful to study); you wouldn't believe what planet I based it on (don't look at my icon that's cheating :P)
But nah yeah, the Anur System is to me one of my favourite parts of Ben 10 Omniverse since I love horror and horror themed things but hate being scared of them so- the Anur System and the movie monsters that influence their design always has a special place in my head!
Even in my mutants and magic au where I retcon even OS to include more mutants and more magic users and presence where I made the Mummy an actual mummified priest who's attempt at resurrect worked (to the detriment to waking up to the grubby mitts of the British museum) and making Viktor an actual frankenstein's monster who's functionally mutant both to parallel Gwen and Max better (Gwen for magic obviously, Max for being a not-so-ex-Plumber who dealt with more than just alien phenomena but humans doing weird things inspired by old books and other stuff), I can't not still have the entirety of the Anur System still exist! I can't remember who but someone made thep khufan siphonophores and well- riding the coattails of my fulmini posting I got excited over them :P same goes for transylians though I haven't thought much about their potentially interesting biology other than the thought of 'how weird can scar tissue adaptations in biology become' so :P :P :P
#ask#thepilgrimbetweenworlds#anur system#ben 10#even with the yenaldooshi still being a loboan i also started slightly retconning them to resemble more of a coyote#heck- just slightly altering the episode plot with something more fitting for 'how to deal with a yenaldooshi'#with some skipping over details because 1) i inherently don't know everything and 2) that avoidance of detail can be explained in-canon#because while something resembling a yenaldooshi does entitle at least some knowledge on how to deal with that due to the overall threat#anything beyond getting one of your back is kept secret by wes and kai because the rest isn't the tennyson's business#:P the secret third 'm' is myth but myth can be split into mutants or magic- maybe even both#so the lack of focus on myth specifically isn't because myth and legends don't exist#it's just that they have existed in due part because of mutants and magic#see; the mummy- it's really just magic keeping him around plus a little vengeance against ungrateful descendants#and is also the root cause of kesi existing 'alive' in the modern era (who unfortunately came to in the middle of an unwrapping party :P)#since the priest was wanting to practice a resurrection spell and may have replaced the protective wards to not take suspiciously long#speaking of having a language based on a fictional setting- have an anglisised (but not fully ipa approved) sentence i found#vorite thuuqithau e|atsu dheetwrax finicariqaai#aka 'we killed the man that laughed at god' where thuuqithau e|atsu dheetwrax means 'the man laughed at god'#me and my friend who was making this conlang with me were practising writing run-on clauses and well we didn't make a lot of words#technically we haven't done much of anything for a while so :P#especially since i've got a backlog of logograms without dictionary entries yet let alone meanings attached#what it HAS done is insert dental and alveolar clicks into my stimming rotation aka my original alien character krr'tch reflects that
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kinda wack how you can understand the process behind your thoughts and feelings and still be affected by them. i think that if you can psychoanalyze yourself well enough in the moment you should get a free pass from feeling the thing altogether. or alternatively you should be able to shut off the logical side of your brain and just feel the thing for a moment. i dont wanna be emotional AND aware it should be either one or the other yknow
#oddly enough this is the reason i cannot fucking cry but thats whatever. eventually something will overwhelm me quickly enough ig#mind you the results of my math placement test werent it#it's wack to be feeling all the emotions from getting an (extremelly low) grade while also having a voice running on parallel just like:#“it's actually to be expected that the score was so low since you havent put this knowledge to use in year. it doesnt matter that you used-#-to be top of the class because the brain is like a muscle. you gotta exercise it regularly to keep it in shape. now that u get to do math-#-regularly you'll be back to your usual/expected (self imposed) level. and yeah it suck that your stuck in the beginner&slow learning class-#-but this is actually good because you'll have more time to practice the material and youll be less stress-----“#like omg brain shut up!!!! letme feel the fucking emotions for once!!!#i just wanna fucking cry about it i need catharsis damn it not a calming voice in my head rationalizing and logicking everything#anyway that score was demoralizing for all of three seconds while that monologue was happening in my mind now i'm just frustrated lmao#vent
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Caribbean folklore is so interesting. There's only a few books on it because a lot of it is passed down through oral tradition but once you find a way to hear the stories they're so interesting.
They come from a mix and match of African, Indian and European myths with a pinch of Caribbean history to spice it up.
I don't think I've really come across it as much as other myths like Greek, Japanese etc
I wanna yap about some key figures:
Note that there will obviously be variations from region to region, even village to village because, passing through word of mouth isn't the best way to keep consistent.
So there's this lady called a Soucouyant. (Soo-coo-yah) or something along those lines. Some say she made a deal with the Devil to retain life but in order to sustain herself, she drinks the blood of unsuspecting sleeping villagers. Her mark is characterized as blue black discolourations on skin.
She's similar to vampires in a way but the key difference is probably the fact that when she descends upon a village, she peels off her skin and hides it away in her house. Fleshy and traveling as a ball of fire, she visits houses and finds a new victim nightly.
Usually, being drained by a soucouyant results in fatigue and the general effects of losing blood.
The best way to counteract her, is to line windows and doors with salt. Salt to flesh is not a fun experience after all.
Another way to be rid of her is to find her shed skin and throw salt in it to when she tries to put it on come morning, she'll burn.
On that note, if you have the misfortune of meeting one, if you topple a bag of rice over, she has no choice but to count every last grain. If she doesn't finish by sunrise, she'll burn to death (need to double check that,)
There is definitely a cultural significance of why she is portrayed the way she is, but I need to consult my grandparents, maybe some old story books to see if I can find it.
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On the same note of devilish she-monsters, we have the La Diablesse (lah jah-bless) yeah I know it's french/maybe patois, but that's how I and my family pronounce it.
The la diablesse is a beautiful woman who appears to drunken men in a long dress and a hidden cow hoof instead of leg.
She appears in remote areas and has a hop-drop walk and usually is in need of assistance
She lures them out into the woods and to their untimely demise by sending them off the edge of a cliff.
She serves as a warning not to be out at night so late (theres more, have to check)
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Mama D'leau, (maybe D'lo or G'lo depending on who you talk to) (pronounced, Mama D'loh), Mother of Water, a very literal title as she is the protector of rivers and their inhabitants. Usually a mermaid-type with a female upper body and serpentine lower half.
Her tolerance for anyone wishing harm upon her domain is thin and she's a fierce protector.
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The douen (God I hate french/patois(LMAO i'm learning french)) are the spirits of unbaptized children who perished, lost in the forest. (supposedly). Pronounced Dwen (can be spelt like that too in some regions)
They're easily identified by their twisted feet and large brim straw hats hiding their featureless faces. ( I still get creeps thinking about them)
They have a disturbing habit of lurking other children into the forest by mimicking the parent's voices in order to gain new playmates or simply for the mischief of getting live children lost.
They're little pranksters and sometimes, people would complain about them trampling their gardens.
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Papa Bois is like mother nature, (pronounced as papa bwa)but more goaty. Literally, he's the father/protector of the forest and does not tolerate any harm done to his domain, similarly to Mama D'lo. Fun fact! Some depict him as married to the protectress!
He looks a bit like satyr if you squint, a hairy body and hooves for feet, Little horns at the tip of his head and strong muscles.
He has the ability to change forms, often appearing as a deer and such. A bullhorn in his possession is used to warn wildlife when hunters approach in order for them to run to safety.
Papa Bois is feared for his wrath. IF you have the chance to meet him, don't be rude and stare at his hooves, instead, use a polite greeting and hope you don't piss him off.
Papas Bois is a cautionary tale to hunters and those who destroy nature :)
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Calling someone a jumbie is usually to denote how late they stay up (ahem, me) but a jumbie really is a creepy ass figure.
A Jumbie is a malicious spirit who roams the Earth. Why? Beats me, (but I will look into it because now I'm curious)
Jumbies are diverse, they are unique in there traits and apparently some can blend in with the living until they reveal their true form????(news to me)
The Soucouyant is a special type of jumbie.
How can you ward of a jumbie? Jewellery! SIlver jewellery, jumbie beads (a seed from a tree, they're a pretty red and I have a nice collection from the savannah) and even salt. You can also confuse the jumbie to keep them away (which I will always find funny) by turning your clothes inside out and wearing them, walking backwards into your house, placing rice grains at your door and such.
It's interesting how creative people get.
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I've covered the main ones but there are certainly other figures who are popular in local story-telling, figures such as Anansi also appear in oral tradition and little newspaper stories.
I'll definitely be doing a second piece AND expanding on these rudimentary points.
#folklore#myth#if you have any questions on Caribbean culture#especially folklore and dialect#im ya girl#specifically Trinidad and tobago#but like#id love the chance to broaden my knowledge of other countries too#i'm telling you#more people should get interested in Caribbean folklore#the impact it has had on communities/ our dialect and even practices is FASCINATING#questions are most definitely encouraged#I don't see enough of our local folklore circulating#its too interesting to only have two paragraphs on some of these figure on wikipedia#that's crazy#two paragraphs is crazy
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studying some videos on how cassocks are sewn and constructed, and folded for storage/shipment, etc. to get a feel for how I could make my own patterns from scratch
need to study the conclave dvd and the behind the scenes and production stills some more as well, already discovered the side seam pockets in more scenes (Tremblay turning towards the coffee machine, causing one of the pockets to gape open a bit and show the light colour of the pocket lining, my original discovery when Lawrence gets knocked to the floor by the explosion), also that the rochets have side openings to easily access the pockets on the cassock beneath! (which is so smart and logical, love it! reminds me of how ca. 18th century skirts and petticoats were constructed to have side openings to access the tied on pockets underneath 🙏)
just gotta figure out just how the cassocks are pleated in the back. saw a video by the Gammarelli shop/atelier on how to fold a cassock and their construction method involves 3 back pleats, one in the middle and one on each side. not sure if the cassocks in the movie are the same in that aspect... 🤔 it's hard to tell because everyone is almost always wearing their fascia, covering up that part on the back...
the only time someone's not wearing a fascia (Vincent in his formal introduction scene as a fellow cardinal), you can only really see the cassock from the front. at least that tells me there's no waist seam and the front pieces are cut from one continuous piece from shoulder to bottom hem 🙏 (which just makes sense. if you're wearing a fascia on top, a waist seam would add unnecessary bulk and could feel irritating after a while)
#can you tell i spent the past 8 or so years watching (historical) sewing videos for fun?#i have sooooo much theoretical knowledge it's insane#just gotta find more time and get more solid plans to actually use that knowledge in practice#anyway studying cassocks and roman catholic ecclesiastical dress in a very obsessive way ✌
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so yea running servers isnt like a cheap thing is what ive been learning these past couple weeks
#fair warning this is me just like going off new knowledge so i could be getting things wrong#buying an actual server isnt really that expensive itself! the issue is like actually running it and when you have actual ppl on said serve#thats where costs start racking up#theres different ways to go about handling a server but mainly what ive been getting from this is:#self hosting (running urself) or managed hosting (having a 3rd party run it for you)#so when ur small or solo u can get away with managed servers cause theyre pretty lowcost or free#and you usually want to go this route if you dont have the skills built up to take care of a server yourself#or if you arent interested in learning cause its pretty time consuming and u have to upkeep it#but they are scary expensive once u get a certain amount of users from what ive seen#its extremely convenient and gives u peace of mind but theres no point using the service if ur making enough money#especially since you wont have as much control of your server if its managed#so at that point just hire people to take care of your own servers you buy#however there are still server costs u need to pay (along with the people u have hired)#im only bringing this up to say that solmare is running ''two'' separate servers for two seperate games (as far as ik)#and probably arent making that much more in profit cause#me as a user...if i have two games that r practically the same on my phone im not spending money on both#its either one or the other#but you still need to pay accordingly to have both of these servers up#like realistically they arent gonna be able to keep both apps running indefinitely#but yea whatever they were saying in the beginning about having both games running and not forgetting about the og#was either a very generous guess or they were just lying#if it were like a nikki game situation where all the games r very different then maybe it would have been feasible#anyways yea sorry i needed an excuse to talk about the website stuff ive been learning!! and obey me is always in the back of my head#im like thinking about this stuff a lot cause for my site i need to have a server and its like okay we r gucci rn#i can stick with managed for now cause im assuming its gonna stay small#but like...theres always that non zero percent chance that it might not be gucci later on lol#so been researching a lot and i just dont wanna run my own server that sounds so boring its not even funny#so yea im just like AHHH
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fun fact! your singing will improve if you stay in your natural range
#this is absolutely common knowledge. unfortunately i am an idiot#anyway i've stopped trying to be a soprano and i sound somewhat decent now!#i used to actually sing alto but i also had no idea how to hit notes properly back then#i'm still not like good by any means but i can stay pretty in tune now#honestly just playing instruments has helped with that for sure even though i can't play by ear in the slightest#anyone can sing you just have to try. much like art or writing or anything else it's just practice and being terrible at it for a while#one day when i get past a bit more of my fear i really want lessons...#i've always wanted to be a good singer more than anything but unfortunately i am very very mediocre
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just realized my fatal flaw and the great struggle of possibly the rest of my life. while watching a cdrama.
#a sock speaks#local construction#fundamentally I lack the confidence needed to be a writer or a teacher#on the one hand I can't brazen my way out of this by pretending to be confident. I need to actually have the knowledge and skills I claim.#on the other hand I can't just say I'll be confident once I have more knowledge and experience. I have a master's degree!#I want to get more school but more school on its own will not fix this#I've let opportunities pass by because I was depressed. I didn't see how I could be enough for them.#or I was too tired (because I was depressed)#but sometimes it's bc I'm not sure if trying would make things better or worse (that one's on the OCD more than depression)#it makes sense that I lack confidence because of inexperience. but I can only gain experience by going for it. doing things badly is good.#it makes sense that I'm scared to face criticism. I've faced my whole community against me.#I've been stuck at someone's house debating scripture for hours with a migraine and no food. I think that was mildly traumatic for me.#but in most cases I am physically safe and the physical fear is irrational. I can work on this with some gentle exposure therapy.#but I need to bring together the effort to organize my thoughts and the bravado to hold my ground in an argument#and I can only build up this confidence with practice. I need to write. I need to do public speaking.#I'd need a platform for speaking (I'd hate to do a podcast or vlog but it'd be good for me)#but I should write! why am I not writing more? I need to write. writing is the way forward#several years ago I was in such deep despair with life that in order to survive I told myself#that I just had to survive. I didn't have to achieve anything or prove myself in any way as long as I stayed alive#and I went to grad school in Georgia not because I saw a path to a career in biblical studies but because school made me want to be alive#(extremely bizarre case of grad school not being the problem. I know.)#I know I missed a lot of benefits I could've had if I'd been mentally healthy when I went. but it's okay because it kept me going#I can go back to school or not go back. do biblical studies or do something else. I don't have big expectations for myself#but as my mental health improves it occurs to me that I COULD do more if only I believed it was worth the effort#I don't need to fear failure when the alternative was not even attempting it#I need to write. I need to write. I need to write.#I'm thinking I might start a newsletter or blog or something. some Bible stuff and some church/social commentary. just kind of open ended.
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