#Hands Across the Table

[summertimenoir]

Summertimenoir's 1k followers celebration - My top 10 Old Hollywood actresses

5. Carole Lombard

Back of all comedy, there is tragedy; back of every good belly-laugh there is a familiarity with things not funny at all. There must be. You laugh with tears in your eyes, don’t you?

[pinewood-to-hollywood]

Fred MacMurray in 1935 romance Hands Across the Table.

[braineyboxd]

My Carole Lombard snow day mini-marathon continues with a delight of a film. To set the mood, please enjoy Russ Morgan and his orchestra's rendition of the hit 1934 song "Hands Across the Table."

This lovely tune is played over the opening credits of the correspondingly titled Hands Across the Table, a screwball romantic comedy vehicle for Carole that became the first of four successful pairings with Fred MacMurray for Paramount.

Like a number of 1930s comedies, Hands Across the Table deals with class consciousness and the relationship between money and happiness. It's about a pair of gold diggers--a man and woman--looking to marry into wealth to guarantee personal and financial security in such trying times. They connect in the salon where Carole's Regi gives Fred's Ted a manicure. Hands across the table, indeed. (Also please normalize men getting manicures again.)

Ted is engaged to a wealthy snob while Regi gives daily manicures to Ralph Bellamy's rich and adoring Allen. The spark between the leads, however, is undeniable, bolstered by both a fantastic script and the real life chemistry between Carole and Fred. Although Carole and director Mitchell Leisen had to drag Fred's comedic performance out of him almost literally kicking and screaming, the begrudging affection between Regi and Ted appears effortless thanks to how well our stars just click. Leisen (pictured below in the preppy shorts, which we should also normalize for men again) even reported that Carole and Fred's uproarious laughter in the telephone scene was 100% genuine and unscripted. Personally, I'm inclined to believe him.

Even the promotional stills--depicting a high-class nightclub scene that regrettably never occurs in the film--sizzle with laughter, love, and life.

There's a buoyancy enveloping the whole production. It teaches a little-known cure for hiccoughs. It features two old timey cosmetic death traps. It has a cute cat named Whitey. It's delightfully irreverent. It's irresistibly intimate. It's insatiably happy.

Even thrown-over Allen has to laugh at the end! (Which is actually kind of sad. Pour one out for Allen tonight.)

Speaking of laughs, a flipped coin gets the last one.

My last entry in the Carole Lombard snow day mini-marathon will be another collaboration with Fred MacMurray. Until then, check out my star rating for Hands Across the Table and extend your hand to me across the digital table on Letterboxd.

[frownyalfred]

Green Lanterns canonically having green eyes because of prolonged exposure to their ring’s power is SO funny to me because the ring is 100% snitching on you but only another Lantern would know to call you on it.

[crowdvscritic]

round up // AUGUST 23

Well, it’s been a month. In August, I…

Quit a job

Started a new job

Went to the emergency room for two unplanned surgeries to remove my gallbladder

Celebrated a birthday

Yeesh, I’m exhausted just thinking about it, though not nearly as exhausted as I was just after surgery. My recovery has been steady, but it’s also been slow, which means little victories have included eating solid food and going a full day without napping. With that energy level, you can bet how I spent my short waking hours: watching a lot of movies! (I also read two books—I had some time!) My viewing in the two weeks at the hospital and recovering at home was a combo of Turner Classic Movies’ annual Summer Under the Stars celebration (with 24 hours of programming dedicated to classic movie stars like Stella Stevens, Jackie Cooper, and Greer Garson) and of comfort food faves (including ‘90s action flicks, ’00s rom-coms, and…Mary Kate and Ashley movies). You can see everything I watched in those two weeks on Letterboxd because between the sleepiness and pain meds, I needed a way to remember what was going on. I’m not sure what it says about me, but the idea of staying overnight in the hospital for the first time became a lot easier once I realized their cable packaged included TCM…

It’s also been four years. Yes, August marks both my birthday and the birthday of these Round Ups. In the last four years, I’ve rounded up…

6 stage shows

10 museums

14 concerts and events

15 series of Saturday Night Live sketches

20 podcasts

21 books

46 musical selections

49 TV shows

52 collections of articles, social media fun, and new movie trailers

421 movies 

Yes, I’m excited just thinking about all those Crowd and Critic selections, though my pace going forward will slow some. Going through so many life events in just a few weeks makes you take stock of how you’re spending your time and energy, and my motto is becoming, “If it ain’t easy, it better be worth it.” If I hate cooking, why do I make myself do it every week? And if writing a Round Up with 20 picks is challenging to squeeze in every month, then it’s time to make adjustments. Author Ingrid Fetell Lee summarized this philosophy well (and provided some practical suggestions) in her blog post “12 Ways to Be Gentle With Yourself” this month. In that spirit, Round Ups are becoming more exclusive as two Top Fives. Keep reading to see which movies, concert, book, album, and articles earned coveted this month's coveted spots...

August Crowd-Pleasers

1. Meg 2: The Trench (2023)

I could summarize the plot of this big dumb shark movie, but Bill Hader said it best on SNL: 

Since the trailer surprisingly didn’t give most of the best moments away, I’ll remain coy and just say I spent a lot of Jason Statham’s newest charisma-fest laughing out loud. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 6.5/10

2. Jonas Brothers: The Tour

68 songs! 5 albums! 1 night! As I have recommended Jonas content no fewer than four times in the last 4 years of these Round Ups, you should not be surprised to see this here. Like in 2019, I turned into an embarrassing fangirl freak at this show, singing along with every single song (though finding I really need to beef up on few Happiness Begins tracks) and shaking my sister with excitement every 15 minutes. (I think she was vibrating at the same energy? It's also possible she's just learned it's better to smile and nod when I'm like this.) The boys’ showmanship and knack for shelling out bops do not disappoint.

3. Romantic Comedy by Curtis Sittenfeld (2023)

A jaded comedy writer (basically Tina Fey) for a late night sketch show (basically Saturday Night Live) discovers a spark with a singer-songwriter rock star hosting an episode (basically John Mayer). So yes…this is an extreme overlap of my interests. Like SNL, this novel does at times lean into saucier and cruder content than I prefer, but the descriptions of the TV show’s behind-the-scenes process and of the relationship between a celebrity and a normie felt so authentic I had to Google Sittenfeld to see if these were based on her own experiences. The best part? A third of the book is a series of email exchanges in the style of You’ve Got Mail. Again, I told you it’s an extreme Venn diagram of my interests!

4. You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah (2023) 

I mostly avoided Adam Sandler until 2020—somehow I’d only seen Happy Gilmore and Bedtime Stories before the pandemic. But since May of that year, I’ve watched 17 of them, and it’s time I finally just admit I’m an unironic fan of his, and now of his daughters, too! Bat Mitzvah is the update to Sixteen Candles we didn’t know we needed, and one of its pleasant surprises is Sandler is happy to stand back and watch his daughters shine (as Taylor Swift would say). His supporting role is the perfect choice for a comedy designed to launch his daughters’ Sunny and Sadie’s careers as leads, and Alison Peck’s sincere, funny script describes the pre-teen girl experience honestly. While there’s plenty of overlap with Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret., it’s not a rehash, which makes the pair a perfect double feature. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7/10

5. The Rocketeer (1991)

This action-adventure lives in the world we only imagine 1940s Hollywood to be, one where you could date an Errol Flynn-esque movie star (Timothy Dalton) after he notices you on set, one where you could accidentally find a rocket designed by Howard Hughes, and one where Bonnie and Clyde-style drive-by shoot-outs are everyday occurrences. With Billy Campbell, Jennifer Connelly, Alan Arkin, and a dash of the spirit of Indiana Jones, my only regret is I didn’t watch this years ago. Crowd: 10/10 // Critic: 8/10

More August Crowd-Pleasers: Elvis goes gaga in Hawaii for Girls! Girls! Girls! (1962), a musical comedy both corny and winning; Arnold Schwarzenegger goes ham on militants who kidnap his daughter in Commando (1985), an action flick both corny and thrilling; Michael J. Fox is a former child star who discovers a future child star in the comedy Life With Mikey (1993), the kind of family movie we don’t get enough of today; Sally Hawkins tells the true story of an amateur historian who discovered the remains of The Lost King (2022) Richard III in a drama with a fantastical twist; Paramount+ continues to abuse my nostalgia, but I continue to let them because Carly and Freddie are finally together in the third (and best) season of the iCarly reboot; like every Muny production, Sister Act was a blast on stage

August Critic Picks

1. Carole-thon!

Fun fact: Every Carole Lombard movie I’ve watched since starting this Round Up has become a monthly recommendation—why stop now? Lombard was TCM’s star of the day on August 18th, and it only took one viewing to realize I wanted to marathon everything on my DVR. Most of these titles are short and sweet screwball rom-coms, which means you can knock out quite a few of these in just an afternoon:

No Man of Her Own (1932) - Lombard falls for a con man (real-life future husband Clark Gable)—could she be the one to set him straight?

The Gay Bride (1934) - Lombard marries a gangster for his money, but her true love might be his second-in-command

Lady by Choice (1934) - Burlesque dancer Lombard “adopts” a mother for some positive PR, but she ends up getting more than she bargained for

Hands Across the Table (1935) - Lombard is a manicurist seeking a rich husband, but Manic Pixie Dream Boy Fred MacMurray throws a wrench in that plan 

The Princess Comes Across (1936) - Lombard is a con woman pretending to be a princess on an ocean liner, but her plans get tangled with another person's secrets (MacMurray)

True Confession (1937) - Lombard is a compulsive liar married to a compulsive truth-telling lawyer (MacMurray again) defending her for a murder she didn’t commit

Swing High, Swing Low (1937) - Lombard and MacMurry (for the last time) are musicians caught in a romantic, bi-continental melodrama

Fools for Scandal (1938) - The cutest little rom-com about a hotheaded American actress falling in love with an affable European fellow this side of Notting Hill!

In Name Only (1939) - Lombard and Cary Grant fight for their relationship even though his bitter wife won’t allow for a divorce

2. Executive Suite (1954)

1950s Glengarry Glen Ross! William Holden, Barbara Stanwyck, June Allyson, Fredric March, Walter Pidgeon, and Shelley Winters vie for the seat at the head of the executive table when the president suddenly dies, and together they create a summum bonum of character dramas. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 9/10

3. No Secrets by Carly Simon (1972)

I know I’m the actual last person on Earth to realize the greatness of this album from a career that, among many accomplishments, paved the way for songwriters like Taylor Swift and Olivia Rodrigo. “You’re So Vain” is a banger with no less bite than 50 years ago, and the record is filled with gems start-to-finish.

4. Edge of Darkness (1943)

TCM’s August 5th star Errol Flynn and their August 28th star Ann Sheridan are fighting for their small fishing village, their families, and their love against brutal Nazi occupiers. I couldn't find comprehensive resources to clarify how much of this action-thriller is historically accurate (the novel it’s based on doesn’t even have a Wikipedia page!), but this gritty story of Norwegian resistance captures a similar spirit to some of the best World War II films, equal parts Indiana Jones and Casablanca. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 9/10

5. Good Reads

#BillionGirlSummer: 

"It's #BillionGirlSummer: Taylor, Beyoncé and Barbie Made for One Epic Trifecta,” NPR.com (2023)

“Talking With ‘Swiftie Dads’ at a Taylor Swift Concert,” GQ.com (2023)

“Nearly 1 Out of 4 of ‘Barbie’ Viewers Hadn’t Gone to the Movies Since COVID,” IndieWire.com (2023)

Hollywood appears to be meeting a long-overdue reckoning: 

“The Binge Purge,” vulture.com (2023)

"Anonymous Strike Diary: ‘Our Souls Were Cracking … but Then the AMPTP F***ed Up,’” HollywoodReporter.com (2023)

“Orange Is the New Black Signalled the Rot Inside the Streaming Economy,” NewYorker.com (2023)

“Mandy Moore Says She Once Got a Check for a Penny for This Is Us Streaming Residuals,” HollywoodReporter.com (2023)

“David Zaslav, Hollywood Antihero,” NewYorker.com (2023)

Film history and criticism: 

“The 100 Best Movies of the Past 10 Decades,” TIME.com (2023)

“The Fate of the Critic in the Clickbait Age,” NewYorker.com (2017)

“The Instrumentalist,” NYBooks.com (2022)

“The Bradley Cooper “Jewface” Controversy Isn’t Really About That Nose,” slate.com (2023)

And a grab bag of worthwhile thoughts, interviews, and news: 

“Reese Witherspoon Is Starting a New Chapter,” HarpersBazaar.com (2023)

“To Help Cool a Hot Planet, the Whitest of White Coats,” NYTimes.com (2023)

“Beyoncé, Tumblr, and ‘Harlem Shake’: Revisiting Pop’s Most Pivotal Year,” TheDailyBeast.com (2023)

“Elon Musk’s Shadow Rule,” NewYorker.com (2023)

“Why You Rarely Believe Celebrity Apologies on Social Media,” BBC.com (2023)

More August Critic Picks: The kid-and-his-dog dramedy about one of the goodest doggos who ever did live, Tough Guy (1936), hits you right in the heart; Errol Flynn thrills again in a search for sunken treasure that might claim his soul in Mara Maru (1952)

Also in August…

The world’s slowest Best Picture Project continues with 1942’s Mrs. Miniver, a genuinely moving piece of war propaganda. Read my Crowd and Critic reviews.

Until September wraps, you can follow what I’m watching creating lists for on Letterboxd. In August, I updated my rankings of 2023 product movie rankings and Christopher Nolan films by Dead Wife Energy, and I also found some weird overlaps between the August releases Blue Beetle and Meg 2 (warning: spoilers!).

Photo credits: Jonas Brothers, Romantic Comedy, Carly Simon, Good Reads. All others IMDb.com.

[vaguely-concerned]

powerful mental image of lucanis expounding passionately about any given one of his limited but extremely deep areas of interest (the wyvern/knives/coffee/cooking/murder continuum of lucanis dellamorte special interests if you will) while rye lounges around and Beholds him with palpable twink boutta pounce energy

[fionn-the-cat]

I am mischief. I am grace. I bite mum’s hands, feet, and face.

[pr-wlrrr42]

"My cat won't let me get anything done"

And then it's just a picture of Ganke sleeping on Miles's chest while he's struggling to use him as a table for his sketchbook.

^^^

[deedis]

im not the biggest fan of qt but the latest fear& was so frustratingly misogynistic i would have done anything for her inthose 67 minutes its like when you dont like america until a british person trashes it

[princessmacedon]

OH!! BERNIE GOING TO HELL!! FOR SHAME!! A THOUSAND YEARS OF HELL FOR BERNIE!!!! despite her culinary prowess it's taken her two batches to get the recipe just right, and if it weren't for her last sliver of rationale she would have yanked the tray out of the brick oven without mitts and run. the waft of pastries rouses enough sense back in her to remember the basket, the wrapping, and the sunflowers before she sprints. all the way across the courtyards, all the way to maria's room. she's wheezing like an old man hacking up ash by the time her knuckles thud against the door, and when it opens, she's only catching her breath a little bit when she greets maria.

"bernie remembered—" she wheezes, holds up her index. a second passes. "—i-i remembered... your favorites!"

what's your favorite dessert? what's your favorite tea? what's your home like? what are your favorite stories, and what are your dreams? two girls have shared these in their time together, blowing wishes on dandelions and marveling at sunflowers. bernadetta manages to straighten herself just in time to rustle through the basket of goodies, pulling out a sealed envelope and handing it to maria. there's a reddish tint from more than running that dusts her cheeks.

"um, happy birthday! and i sort of drew... well... y-you don't have to keep it if it's stupid! but i thought, you know..." inside, there's an illustration of a girl with hair red as roses—and beside her, a knight, an older brother with silver hair. bernadetta can barely look maria in the eye, but steals an occasional peek through her lashes. "just... something else to remember him by. for you. i hope you like it. or at least the sweets. o-or the flowers?"

It is a peaceful day today, and that is all-- or at least mostly all-- that Maria would ever dare to ask for. With her notebook laid out on her desk before her, the little cleric hums in between minuscule nibbles of cookies that are honestly too pretty to eat (how criminal of her!), breaking every so often to huff a quiet laugh when she catches the tinkling of little bells.

--the cacophony that comes next is not entirely without prelude, a chaotic crescendo of footfalls cresting into a thunderous rapping at her door. And Maria, though she rises from her seat, stands stunned a moment overlong ere she wades through her laughter to pull the door wide open.

"Bernie!" Comes the cheerful greeting, two voices weaving into a silly little song.

"Bernie remembered--"

"--you remembered!"

"--I-I remembered..."

"-- oh! Careful!"

"... your favorites!"

One hand darting out to gingerly keep the basket from tipping over, Maria's eyes sparkle as they flit over the promise of a gift, of remembrance and affection shared, and shares her own in kind, warmth seeping from her softly narrowed smile.

"...hee hee!" She had never doubted that she would. If a heart was a cup into which love was poured, Maria thinks that Bernie's would be a babbling brook. One with a pebbled shore, dandelions and wild grass hugging its bends, carrying toy boats to new adventures and bottled wishes out to sea. The sailors would be named such things as 'fruit mousse' and 'sweet-apple blend' -- what silly sailors they were! -- and the wishes would whisper to her curious currents, "only a story like a hundred thousand other stories, but it is unique to me in all the world"; or even, "to put my home together again... and my home, together again. Keep it secret, okay? Hee hee!" -- how novel, that wishes should laugh!

And all of them would be safe with Bernie; Bernie will remember, and carry it with her, and it will matter to her even when her knuckles hang at the door and pink speckles her cheeks and she's still wheezing a little bit, but not so ash-eating-old-man-like anymore.

"Hee hee... heeheehee!"

Then, if laughter was a song in love, in this moment Maria's sounds like nothing less than adoration. The cup overflows, the brook babbles (but wheezes less and less), and there is no more lovely melody than bright, unfettered laughter. Music still rushes from the corners of her smiling mouth as she takes the envelope in hand, coming to quietude as she gently unfolds the parchment.

"--oh...!" The little princess swallows her voice, blinking once, twice, three times and more at the picture in her hands. On the other side, Bernadetta just barely peeks at her through her lashes, but the reassurances stick in her throat like a marble. It is one thing to write what remains with her in memory, but it is another thing entirely to look at his face again, smiling beside hers. (It is also a secret third thing, that it should be a gift -- that it had been remembered, that it mattered, that it was always safe with Bernie.)

"... ...mm-mmm!" Holding it gently to her chest, Maria beams a smile full to bursting with sunshine, effulgent even through the few tears that prickle at her eyes. "It's not stupid! Not at all! Having a picture of him... and with me, too?" That was a wish she hadn't realized she'd held onto. "It's perfect! And it makes me so happy I think I might burst! Hee hee!"

Rocking back onto her heels, the little princess hastily-but-carefully tucks the picture back into its envelope; then, with her treasure newly secured, she lurches onto her tiptoes and throws herself forward from there, arms wrapped around Bernadetta's shoulders and a song of laughter now singing in her ears.

"And I remember, too!" A step back at that, though hands still linger on the other girl's shoulders, a promise made just for her.

"Hee hee... look forward to it, okay? I love it, Bernie! And I love you!"

[truly-sincerely]

Now that I have a save in Act 3 I was able to do the deep dive I've been meaning to do and I come bearing gifts.

I found this in the Control Center in the Foundry.

THE BRAINS SING.

[coybbb]

[christiangeistdorfer]

MARRKU ALÉN - THE HONORARY ITALIAN

[fivefeetfangirl]

Helloooo!!! Pleaseeee say someone took a photo of jenmish holding hands at the end???? 🥺😭😭

[i-used-to-be-a-spy]

I get that the Internet is a big place but why isn't the real world like that? Why isn't it easy to find neurodivergent, queer, nice people irl

[paragonrobits]

i have to admit one of the most genuinely unsettling developments in fandom recently has been fans reading a book where Gyatso muses about spreading their teachings to other nations and immediately assuming they mean in exactly the same way as colonial proselyting rather than simply... well, spreading their teachings without it being the same thing as imposing their culture on others

and, for that matter, saying that Gyatso is as bad as Sozin for thinking that inspiring others to embrace pacifism would be a good idea.

That Gyatso is as bad as Sozin.

That a wise monk is as bad as the genocidal warmonger and conquering imperialist who wiped out Gyatso's people and began a hundred year war of conquest and cultural destruction.

That Gyatso was as bad as the person who outright genocided Gyatso's people. And the worst part about it is that this seems to be largely a negative response from people in fandom who are getting very quick to excuse the Fire Nation as not 'really' being fascist or colonizing or demonize the Air Nomads (again, the civilization of pacifist monks that were genocided to such a degree that its the whole reason the original series is called 'The Last Airbender', because the others are all dead) or accuse the Air Nomads as deserving to be wiped out, or conclude that teaching others if they are receptive to it is the same thing as explicitly stamping out cultural practices and ways of life (which, again, the Fire Nation is explicitly doing), or insisting that the Air Nomads are outright racist while claiming the Fire Nation is neither racist or classist (despite a standard insult from Zuko and Azula at their most antagonistic is constantly demeaning Katara or Sokka as 'peasants', or other Fire Nation characters referring to the Water Tribes as 'barbarians' and 'savages', or referring to Earthbending in equally demeaning terms)

Its largely from parts of fandom that has been increasingly growing more insular and saying things like this for a while, growing defensive of the Fire Nation (my guess is because they're often based in shipping arguments that have increasingly come to focus on their cultures and were already favoring the Fire Nation for its sense of power and luxury, which is constantly emphasized in the most common ship dynamics by some groups), and I think that its just kept escalating until we're now at the position where you're getting people saying "the Fire Nation was right to genocide the Air Nomads' and its horrifying to hear, but also unsurprising. Some of these particularly extreme aspects of fandom have already been in this base for a while.

It's unsettling to see them mask off so violently, but its not surprising. Acting like Gyatso is more evil than the genocidal warmonger who winds up killing him because of his dislike for the Fire Nation's racist views (established in other stuff as far predating the Hundred Year War, and leading up to it) and contemplating teaching people in other nations is exactly the same thing as coercive missionaries with colonial intentions.

It's honestly come full circle from the canon of the series being that the Air Nomads were a tragic first victim of the Fire Nation's war and Aang, their last survivor, must end that war, to these outspoken fandom people insisting the Fire Nation did nothing wrong, that they were justified in burning all the Air Nomads alive, and that Aang is the true villain of the setting, largely because of dislike of him from shipping purposes or being angry that the series didn't abruptly detour at the last second into a 'killing everyone who gets in your way is moral and never has long-term consequences' story that is antithetical to the series' big emphasis on harmony, long-term consequences, and that doing things spiritually is more important than getting them done quicker.