#How spicy is this thing?!

[kittyrosecatqueen]

Omelet :3?

It's totally not laced with spicy stuff...

Also, just block/delete the Gaza bots asks...their all bots. Just recommending..their very annoying

On the one hand, that looks delicious. On the other, this could be a risky move. Yeah, about the Gaza asks, I've been wondering whether or not some of them were bots. Like, some of them feel like a genuine cry for help, and others just feel like a scam. But other than that, thank you for the omelet (takes it and eats it).

[bird-inacage]

The Heart Killers Trailer | Kantbison + UNHINGED

CURRENT CAUSE OF DEATH.

I'm sorry - they did not prepare us for this. BDSM??? A 500-Days-of-Summer DANCE NUMBER?! THESE TWO ARE GOING TO BE SO INSANELY DERANGED AND CHAOTIC, I LOVE THAT FOR THEM.

[koushuwu]

*:･ﾟ✧ SILENT POEM

content (warnings): not suitable for minors, his dialog directly transcribed from the english memory banner, afab!reader, penetrative sex, reverse scoop, emotional sex, lots of kissing, dubcon (if you squint), playful lovemaking, no editing we die like men.

『•• zayne | words: 1,9k | LaDS masterlist ••』

excerpt: he kissed your neck. once. twice. then, he let out a shuddered breath, and whispered as if in a plea. “say my name.”

“rest in my embrace,” he said. and who were you to say no, really? zayne’s arm draped around your middle and pulled you impossibly closer as you lay there with your back firmly pressed against the hard planes of his chest. his abdomen. his warm skin. “just like this.” you pushed closer, adjusted in his arms and barely stifled a giggle when he inhaled sharply.

you’d been coaxing him for a while. ever since he came back from his late shift at the hospital. since the moment you’d offered to help him relax, he’d known exactly what your objective was, but he wasn’t one to deter your plans, so he’d played along. he’d let you massage his sore muscles when you playfully skirted around the true objective of your advances. he’d played along perched you on his lap as you did, wordlessly showing you that your efforts bore fruit. he played along for it all. mostly. he hadn’t been entirely able to help himself when you spilled that water on yourself earlier. he watched the droplets trickle down your neck and no force of nature could have stopped him from diving in. you skin had been warm under his tongue. nothing short of intoxicating, really.

“now–” he said, lips caressing your neck in a scorching kiss, his fingers gently caressing your skin as they moved south. “let me tell you–” he kissed your neck once more, the taste of your skin addicting to him. the breath you sucked in as he did. the heat dusting your features. instinctively, he angled your leg to give himself better access. wordlessly zayne encouraged you to hold still, just like that, when his length pressed against you. “how much i missed you when we couldn’t see each other.” his lips connected with that very spot where your neck meets your shoulder, when he knew you’d hold your leg up for him. the sheets rustled as he positioned himself better and pushed.

your breathing hitched as the tip pressed inside, and you tensed. he grabbed hold of your thigh once more and propped himself up on his elbow. zayne loomed above you, those intense eyes searching your face. your eyes screwed shut, mouth slack was truly a sight for him to behold. something he wished to commit to memory. something for him to cherish. and he did. he really did. even as your entrance clamped down so hard on his cock he could hardly move. maybe he hadn’t prepared you properly. you always did say he was too big for his own good. he should’ve– but it was too late to go back now. he leaned down.

“relax,” he said. hushed. his breath fanned against your ear as he spoke. his lips pressed against your skin. like that, zayne breathed you in, and how did he even expect you to relax like this? with his warm bare skin against yours, his breath against your ear and your neck. with the way his presence loomed behind you. all around you. inside you. how were you supposed to relax? you tried though. you always tried for him. zayne rolled his hips to thrust in a little further. 

“shit–” you couldn’t help but lurch forward in his hold.

“i’m sorry.” zayne’s movements stilled, if only for a moment. he studied you. “i didn’t mean to hurt you,” he said. but he knew you. he knew what that face meant. he rolled his hips again, pushing in further. slowly. ever so slowly. your eyes were shining as you turned your face to look up at him.

“zayne–” his name barely more than a whimper, but he nodded anyway. he heard you. he had you. whatever you may need. “kiss me.” the restraints on his self control shuddered at your words. they were so soft. almost like a plea on your lips and he wanted nothing else than to give you what you asked. so he did. his lips pressed against your, and his breath caught in his throat as he yanked the reins hard do keep himself in check. he wanted was going to go slow. he was going to make this last, even if it took every single ounce of his strength.

“does it still hurt?” without hesitation, zayne moved his hand to your hip and pulled, shifting you towards him. angling you to give himself even easier access, zayne slowly, oh so slowly slowly rolled his hips to finally slip in fully, sucking in a breath at your snug warmth welcoming him home. “what about this?” he asked and kissed your lips again. “do you feel better now?” he swallowed your answer before you had the chance to even open your mouth.

playfully, as if to shut him up, as if to ensure him it didn’t hurt, you nibbed at his bottom lip. zayne was big, but you’d known what you wanted and you hadn’t exactly been unprepared yourself, even before he came back. but it was zayne and his mere presence alone was enough to make you shudder. despite coming off as cold, zayne was an intense man, and when he let go, and when he let himself indulge in you. it was overwhelming to say the least. overwhelming, but so good. you shuddered when he whispered into your ear again.

“or… do you want to change positions?” you pressed back against him, squawking when his length pressed deeper. he was almost fully sheathed inside you, yet he kept going so slow. it was hard to think.

“can you—“ you start, voice carrying a tinge of frustration, yet still hushed as if you couldn’t quite bring yourself to disrupt the quiet of the room. “just do it. stop asking all these questions!”

“what do you mean… just do it and stop asking questions?” as he spoke, zayne let his fingers trail softly down your side, leaving a flood of tingles in their wake. your skin felt alive. he watched the way goosebumps rose on your skin. you were perfect. nothing short of. you his home. his safe space. you were his. “didn’t you ask me how much i missed you?” as if to punctuate his sentiment, he pulled back, planting his lips against yours in a bruising kiss. the way your pussy clamped down on his cock had him pulling in a sharp breath before burying himself fully inside you. you felt perfect. entirely and utterly perfect as you squeezed him and wriggled against him. the sounds threatening to spill all swallowed by his lips. his tongue as it ran across your lower lip.

as he broke the kiss, you reached behind you and pulled him back by the neck. you weren’t done. but instead of pressing his lips to yours once more, he instead leaned his forehead against yours, eyes locked on yours. there was a little smile there. a sincere, loving one, that made his eyes sparkle, as he looked at you. one that almost covered up the little glimmer of mirth in his eye as zayne still didn’t kiss you. instead, he settled into an excruciatingly slow pace, as he deliberately pushed in as deep as he possible could, with every single thrust. his fingers lightly caressed your hip as he spoke against your lips.

“so much time has passed, no? don’t you want me to say something?” the little smile on his lips morphed to dorn a teasing lilt as he spoke. barely there, yet you saw it clearly. with his fingers grazing your skin, he let them dip down to your front. your eyes fell shut when the pads of his fingers firmly circled your clit. once. twice. then slipped even further between your legs. with two long fingers, he spread your folds on either side of his cock, spreading you even further open for him, earning him an entirely unrestrained and revaborating moan in return.

teeth clamped together when you quickly shut your mouth. you hadn’t meant to be so loud. you weren’t ashamed. you were surprised more than anything, swiftly facing away from him. pressing against the pillow, your breathing became even heavier at the sensation if zayne’s fingers aiding his movements against you. inside you. he gave a barely audible chuckle and leaned into your ear to whisper.

“tired already?” you press further against him, burying your face further into the bed, his teasing not going unnoticed. “you want to sleep?” he asked and you nodded. you weren’t actually tired. you didn’t actually want to sleep. you both knew that. but if he was going to tease you, then you might as well play along.

when zayne’s breath fanned against the shell of your ear, you shuddered. your skin felt scorched as he pulled you impossibly closer, fingers slipping through your folds as the tip of his cock kissed that spot within you that had your cunt fluttering around him.

“we’re not done here,” he said, your own ragged breathing caught in your throat, teeth now sinking into your bottom lip at his words. zayne was many things, and while a tease wasn’t the word most people would use to describe him, you knew better than most. even with his voice steady, only betrayed by his heavy breathing, his taunts were clear as day to you. and maybe, just maybe you did kind of like that about him. not that you would ever tell him that of course. especially not like this. “quitting halfway isn’t something i would do.”

“let me teach you how to do it then,” you bit out, straining to keep your voice as steady as his, as you looked back up at him and rocked back against his cock, forcing his thrusts to meet with yours. with a hiss, he caught hold of your hip, halting your movements. your attempts at speeding up his pace. not yet. not yet. zayne heaved a heavy breath, then brushed his nose against yours.

“the night is still young. we have plenty of time to learn from each other.” you really couldn’t help but smile at him as you reached up to cup his cheek. he nuzzled against your touch, something that only made your smile grow.

now.

zayne thrust deep into your warmth, finally picking up his pace like you’d wished for him to do. brushing against that special spot within you. as he thrust inside, he caught your lips with his own, swallowing your sounds before they escaped.

“let me hear your voice,” he said, kissing you again. you pinched his cheek, making him draw back. you had half a mind to think he was being a fool for expecting you to let him hear anything while he was kissing you like that. but any semblance of the notion vanished as he picked up his pace further. the wet sounds of his cock thrusting into your cunt. of skin slapping against skin. it was intoxicating. you couldn’t help but moan at the way he filled you up again and again. zayne’s breath coming in harsh pants as he grew more and more breathless.

“right now. just like this.” zayne snapped his hips rhythmically now guiding your hips towards his as well. he kissed your lips hard, seemingly unbothered by his state of breathlessness. as if all he wanted to do with what little breath he had, was to share it with you. just like he would share anything else with you. everything. you broke away for air and he kissed your neck. once. twice. then, he let out a shuddered breath, and whispered as if in a plea. “say my name.”

“zayne–”

thank you for reading <3

[lgbtlunaverse]

I feel like too often people frame Nie Mingjue's issues as ignorance borne from safety. Like, they think that because of his privilege as a sect leader he doesn't know what it's like to be in danger and forced to make hard choices to survive. And I disagree. Strongly.

First of all, Nie Mingjue is very familiar with death not only from war but from. You know. Actively dying since the age of fourteen. Let us not forget Nie Mingjue is dead! Super dead! And maybe he didn't die the exact way he expected to but he did, absolutely, know he was going to die. To act like Nie Mingjue is unfamiliar with the scenario of "do something you find morally reprehensible or die" is to ignore that he has been living that exact scenario and chose death.

Nie Mingjue knows death is a risk for someone like Jin guangyao, in fact he explicitly acknowledges it even in his worst moments like the stairs in chapter 49. Had his issue been ignorance, then he would've responded to Jin Guangyao saying that he's in danger and has to sacrifice others for his own safety with "No you aren't you'll be fine." But he doesn't. He accepts the fact that jgy is in danger with no qualms and says: then you should die.

That's not him betraying his values, those are his values. He is, essentially, pro-suicide. Jgy is like hey I have a moral dilemma what should I do and nmj straight up goes "Kill yourself" and earlier that same chapter when he was faced with a moral dilemma he went "I'm gonna kill myself." He believes the solution to moral dilemmas is suicide! He is extremely consistent about this! When it's pointed out to him that it would have been dangerous for Wen Qing to oppose Wen Ruohan it doesn't phase him because he thinks putting yourself at risk to do the right thing is the only moral choice. The idea that he can only hold this belief because he is himself somehow not in danger, again, requires you to ignore that he is dying the whole time. And it doesn't deter him. He is the idea of self-sacrifice as a moral good taken to its absolute logical extreme. Someone who is ready to die and demands the same from everyone else.

It makes him a very fun case study for fandom, because a lot of fandom spaces also tend to revere self-sacrifice as the ultimate good, and yet we get very uncomfortable when someone starts demanding it of characters we love. Like woah, hold on, that's a bit too far isn't it? Only we the audience get to do that!

[eloquent-edits]

🗡️ “I’m all for platonic intimacy but this…?”

the subtext of romance is really peeking through 🗡️ friends to lovers scenarios

Person A going to person B’s house to watch a movie but getting looped into playing drunk card games with B and their parents

Working out together and A insisting on spotting B and adjusting their form

B playfully poking A in public and promptly getting tackled

B patting A’s cheek only to accidentally linger as they notice how the light catches in A’s eyes (A is DESPERATELY trying to not blush)

“Here’s the garage code.” “… Why am I receiving this information?” “You’re already over here a lot. My parents think it’s better than a key.”

Forced close proximity at a LAN party because there’s not much room at the table (and A’s arm keeps brushing against B’s, messing up their aim, but if anything the space between them decreases as the night goes on)

The “Oh, is B coming too?” to “A kidnapped me to come here and hang out” pipeline

Going from quick and funny head scratches to absentmindedly stroking/detangling their hair while chatting with friends

“Do I smell okay?” “You smell normal.” “Which is…?” “Like lilac and gooseberry.”

A melting into B’s hug after a long and stressful week

B helping A deal with a major headache by rubbing/scratching their back

A heating up B’s ears with their hands because B forgot ear muffs in winter

“My mom thinks you’re really pretty/handsome.” “My mom thinks you look like Adonis/Aphrodite.” “Can you ever take a compliment?”

Candid pictures give away the softness in B’s eyes when they look at A goofing around

B not minding when A gives them a long hug in public, even though they aren’t big on PDA in general

B drawing a shitpost and sending it to A, A setting it as their lockscreen, and months later B realizes that A still hasn’t changed it

B’s family automatically assuming that A might join for any family function and making A’s favorite dish accordingly

“I have to go into the office this week. Can I crash at your place since it’s closer?”

Hanging out for hours —> “I don’t want you to drive home this late.” —> waking up in each other’s arms because they both refused to let the other sleep on the floor/couch

“My clothes reek of you.” “You could’ve just told me to take a shower.”

[sirazaroff]

Crosshares Off-roading

(there is smut if you’d like to skip)

[ouidasart]

@moveslikebucky and I have finished another Good Omens fic! This time another silly human AU where they are best friends who are so so stupid

I did four illustrations for this story and you can see all of them uncensored on Ao3! I am still learning digital painting but I like how these turned out, especially the first one which is the only non explicit one I could post fully here 🩷 Fic and illustrations are E rated ofc so don't open them up at the supermarket lol

Read it here! I hope u enjoy 🩷💚🩷

[iam-anordinary-human-orami]

I would imagine the twinyards rushing to text or call each other for happy birthday only because they made a game out of it, probably one of the sessions with Bee. Game rules are: first to wish "Birth" on the 4th of November wins, loser has to then say "Day", call Kevin and ask him something about history, or exy, or the history of exy. The twinyards turn 38 this year. To this day, Kevin still hasn't figured it out.

[kaijutegu]

baby wants NUGGETS

[bxriles]

I’m sure that this is not a hot take and that a lot of people feel the same way but like…

The question “does it have spice?!🌶️🔥” makes me want to jump off a cliff. I’m out here looking for gothic book recommendations on Reddit, tumblr, and goodreads and WHY is this the first question so many people ask 😭

Look, I love erotica as much as the next person but come on. There have got to be other things that matter when recommending books or choosing to pick one up, my GOD.

[byfulcrums]

padmé, who most likely grew up with other people doing the cooking for her, probably knows how to make more simple stuff. she can make a nice plate of spaghetti or even ravioli: however, she once managed to find a way to burn ice in a pan, melting the plastic handle, so she's not allowed in the kitchen anymore. she's really good at dessert, though; which is funny, because she likes to eat savory stuff more

meanwhile anakin is a Master Chef. loves to cook, loves to eat, and most importantly loves his wife. what i'm saying is that he's always making 5 star meals for padmé. he wasn't very good at cooking at first, not for a lack of experience but rather because as a slave, he always had to ration his food, and for the longest time he just wasn't sure what amount of everything he should use. he LOVES to eat dessert, but is physically unable to make it. he's perfected the salt and spices and other condiments but sugar? sugar? well just don't ever ask him to make anything sweet

[aspiringwarriorlibrarian]

Me: Oh nice, a video on how BookTok can encourage overconsumerism, don't mind if I....

Youtube Recommendations: "The BookTok girlies are porn addicts who can't think about anything but S3X when they should be reading Real Literature and this is ruining their brains because they're too dumb to tell fantasy from reality!"

Me: *groans in I've heard this before*

[bandsandwristbands]

what are they getting up to hmmm??

[iizuumi]

Guess Narumi isn't getting any paperwork done ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[thelastspeecher]

Shrimp 'n' hotroot soup in the Redwall books: described as basically the spiciest thing ever, so much it causes characters to have tears streaming down their faces

Shrimp 'n' hotroot soup in the official Redwall cookbook:

Contains one (1) teaspoon of curry powder or chili powder and that's it

[Image descriptions: First is a picture of most of the shrimp 'n' hotroot soup recipe, including all the ingredients. Second is zoomed in on one ingredient in the list, reading "1 teaspoon curry powder or chili powder, or to taste"]

[gurggggleburgle]

Luo Binghe is the kinda psychopath to pull out scrabble on a date and call it flirting and Shen Yuan is able to respond positively to this because man has zero, negative, and infinity levels of rizz catching all and simultaneously no bitches at once because these radio frequencies are all different lengths in this essay I will...