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artpharos · 14 days ago

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bedehop and 12 for the fic prompt?

I'M SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG BUT I HAVE FINALLY OVERCOME MY WRITER'S BLOCK OF *checks notes* FOUR MONTHS BY WRITING THIS PROMPT

I'll maybe post this on ao3 when I wake up?? possibly??? if i feel like it????? anyway enjoy im so sorry it took so long WEEPS have 2k words of bede's insecurities and hop being best boy

Secrets Best (Un)spoken

12. “You could say I'm fond of you”

Hop always looks dashing in blue.

Not that Bede will ever tell him that. He doesn’t need Hop’s head to get even bigger, but– well. It’s such an obvious thing that Hop’s handsome– beautiful, even; and especially so when his lithe form is wrapped in that soft shade of sky. Bede says nothing of how his breath hitches each time Hop glances up at him from where he’s seated in front of the mirror, nor the way his heartbeat jumps each time a soft jostle brushes underneath his fingers. Maybe speaking the words caught in his throat would make them less real, less dear to his heart. After all, Bede has learned that the only things others won't take from him are the ones that are hidden away, out of sight.

And a secret is only worth holding on to if it’s a secret, isn’t it?

Unaware of his thoughts, Hop's reflection smiles in the mirror as Bede pulls a comb through dark night hair, gently working his way through the tangles left untamed. The blue suit rests easily across wiry shoulders, the silken cloth light against Bede's touch. It hides the well-toned muscles and rough scars that criss-cross the Hero of Galar’s body, the map of them another of Bede’s fiercely guarded secrets. The calm blue brings out the liquid gold of Hop's eyes, balances against the warmth of his skin.

Bede always prides himself for being meticulous when it comes to appearances. It’s one of the first things Opal drilled into him when she took him under her wing– how the way one presents often affects not just what people see, but what they feel. It’s the trademark of fairy Pokemon– to distract others with some glamour or spectacle, while hiding one’s real intentions underneath. Bede took to the concept like a Swanna to water.

Unfortunately, Hop is the very antithesis of that ideal– nervous energy taps his fingers, his expression wide and unguarded. Bede hates the idea of other people looking upon the beauty of his boyfriend, chiseled with maturity compared to the rambunctious brat he first met, but he can’t deny the bright sunlight that tingles warm on Hop's skin and crinkles in his eyes. Can’t pretend he doesn’t want the world to see Hop the way he deserves to be seen– brave and strong and warm.

Bede frowns, tugging the suit collar around Hop’s neck.

“How’s it look?” Quiet, understated. Hop can see his reflection just as well as Bede does, but he asks anyway.

“Terrible,” Bede bites back. He ducks his head, the shameful aftertaste of the word lingering on his tongue, the afterimage of a younger Hop flickering behind his eyelids– despair in dulled eyes flashing in the rain. It catches a vice around Bede's throat.

Bede schools his features and loosens his grip on Hop’s shoulder. He tries– but it never really is enough, is it?

“Bede.”

Hop turns to face him, a worried frown marring his features. No matter how much Bede schools his face and flashes him a smile, golden eyes see right through him.

“You’re upset.”

Bede sighs and puts the comb down. Warm fingers reach up and linger on his knuckles, even as he catches hold of himself chewing his lip in the mirror. Unbecoming. Too revealing.

He pulls himself upright, the Fairy Gym Leader glimmering in his reflection once more. “You don’t have to do this,” he says quietly. “You are aware of that, right?”

Hop doesn’t have to walk by his side, to declare their relationship to dozens of hundreds of onlookers. Hop shouldn’t throw himself into the limelight, into the spectacle, with the world ready to tear him apart. Bede’s used to it, revels in it and lets the words glance off him, has seen way too many articles digging into him like vultures to a feast, but Hop–

Hop has always managed to run freer than he has. Sometimes, it makes Bede envious.

And he never wants Hop to be told he is flawed, unworthy. Not again.

Surely Hop doesn’t, either. It doesn’t make sense that he’d be sitting here with Bede now, with the taxi that will whisk them to the Galar Theatrical Awards probably no more than twenty minutes away, all dressed up in the best finery Bede could pull together, and yet–

Bede dips his head, slowly calculating a response.

A soft sigh rumbles beneath his fingers. Hop reaches out to him, his sunlit touch pressing against the cool of Bede’s cheek.

Hop quirks a smile, wiggling his eyebrows teasingly. “What, am I not supposed to support my boyfriend when he’s about to win the most prestigious acting award in all of Galar?” His expression softens. “What’s this about, Bede?”

Bede can’t bear to hold that golden gaze. “They’ll eat you alive,” he says. “The media, the crowds. They'll look at you and say, “how ridiculous– the Hero of Galar, all dolled up as the Ballonlea Gym Leader’s new toy”.”

Hop scratches his chin. “You’ve never had many toys before. Surely you can afford a few?” He chuckles at Bede’s scowl. Standing to face him fully, he ruffles through Bede’s perfect curls. “Really now, what’s planted that idea in your wooly little head? What, do you think I can’t handle a few journalists?”

“It’s not that.” Bede swats away Hop’s hand, clicking his tongue, refusing to fix his attention on the man before him. He knows what Hop is trying to do, but he refuses to acknowledge that happy, gentle smile before him. How can he, when he keeps seeing a dim illusion over those bright features instead, a shattered shadow he never wants Hop to become?

How can he possibly explain the niggling guilt, buried deep beneath his mask of perfection, yet another secret he hides from even the man he shares his life with?

Then–

“Are you ashamed of me?”

The words are softly spoken, but they tear the breath from his lungs.

“No, of course not!” He whirls to Hop, heart caught in his throat. “How could you even think–”

“Bede.” Instead of accusatory disdain, Hop quirks a smile. “If you aren’t ashamed of me, then I don’t care what anybody else in the world has to say.”

His golden eyes are calm, and his hand on Bede’s cheek is warm. So warm, so gentle. Understanding, quiet and soft, weighs like a blanket around his shoulders. Bede wants to lean forward, to be wrapped up in those steady arms he knows so well.

Instead, he chews his lip, exhales as Hop waits so patiently in a way that is in such contrast to how he usually is– like Bede is someone worth making that effort for. Like Bede deserves it.

“What do you see in me?” He’s asked this before, feels the bubble of shame welling up in his throat as he recites the practiced words. “What do you, and everyone else, see when you look at me?” He blinks his eyes rapidly, refuses to acknowledge the prickling at the corner of his eyes. “Because all I see in the mirror is the selfish boy who takes and takes and gives nothing in return.”

He doesn’t move, but Hop does. Hesitantly, his boyfriend steps forward, and even though he’s shorter than Bede, his broad arms encompass his shoulders– his entire world– as if it’s nothing, and Bede feels so small, so secure, pressed together in that steady warmth.

“That’s not true,” Hop’s voice whispers in his ear. “Opal doesn’t believe that. I don’t, either.”

Bede’s fingernails dig into the new suit. He shouldn’t, but… he doesn’t want to let go.

“I don’t want you to get hurt because of me.”

“That’s silly.” Hop’s chuckle vibrates against his cheek, a hypnotic sound stopping Bede’s thoughts in their tracks. His boyfriend looks fondly up at him, a thumb rubbing reassuringly against his knuckles as he gently picks up Bede’s hand. “I’m a big boy, Bede. I’ll be fine. We’ll be fine.”

His words fluster, and Bede shakes his head, any attempt at trying to hide his fears wiped away in the face of Hop’s unending faith. Instead, they tear out of him, pathetic and weak and nothing like all the masks he’s built around himself.

“Hop, I– how can you want any of this?”

Hop chuckles.

Despite himself, Bede flushes. It is a stupid question, when Hop’s presence is evident from everything around him. From the kitchen where they cook breakfast together, to the couch where they’ve spent many evenings talking side by side with their Pokemon– to the bed, where Hop holds him so tight, his warmth bleeds into Bede’s cold, hidden heart.

“You could say I’m fond of you.” Gentle knuckles graze against his skin, and in that beautiful sky-colored suit and his golden eyes, Hop looks almost like something divine. Instead, he tucks Bede close to him as he says, “I want to be there for you, thick or thin.”

But Bede will look a gift horse in the mouth, look into the dark and confront the ugly things hidden there, having been burnt by those who discarded him a time far too many to want to coast along the ideal make-believe.

“Why?” he chokes out.

“Because you’ve helped make me who I am.” Hop answers it so easily, as if those words aren’t leaden with the experiences of their shared childhood. “You always have.”

“Don’t be stupid.” Maybe Bede should push him away, but his hands dig deeper into that blue suit, and he presses his face into that familiarly warm, earthy scent. It does nothing to stop his words. “I was a mean, arrogant little prick that saw my failures in you, and in return, you gave me a second chance.”

“And I don’t regret that, not for a single bit.” Steady hands cup his cheek, nudging him to meet golden eyes. Hop smiles, unhurt, patient, soothing the jagged edges of Bede’s well-worn fears. “You gave me a second chance, too. To grow, and know you, and love you. To be loved by you. You see me now, more so than anyone else. And you’re trying to take care of me now, aren’t you?”

“I’m clearly doing an awful job of it.” Petulance doesn’t suit him, but Hop laughs, as if he’s known Bede’s secrets all along.

Maybe he has. The thought brings a strange sense of relief.

Something must show in his expression, because Hop taps him lightly on the head, his smile all-too-fond. “You’re the reason why I want the whole world to know we’re together. No matter what they say, no matter what they think– I want them to know that we’re happy together. That you make me happy, and I hope… I do, you.”

“You’re ridiculous.” Bede exhales. “I’m ridiculous.” His shoulders sag.

“Hey, now.” Hop gives him a reproving pout, before he leans in close. Bede scarcely has any warning before Hop kisses him. Cups his chin, slots their lips together with practiced ease. He tastes of warmth and life, and once the surprise fades, Bede relishes the way it seeps through the very fiber of his being, unmaking his fears and cupping his secrets with a gentle hand.

Hop always manages to keep him safe, doesn’t he?

Hop presses another kiss on his nose, his cheek. “You’re Bede. My beautiful, brave, brilliant Bede. And we’re going to go out tonight and watch the whole world acknowledge that, with me by your side.”

What can Bede even say in return? He huffs, pulling away as golden eyes linger on him. He reaches out, tugs the blue suit in place once more, smoothing out Hop’s hair.

“You do make me happy,” he confesses. Then, since he’s sharing all his secrets anyway– he adds, “I love you, Hop.”

He supposes this is an ill-kept one. Hop hasn’t ever asked about it before, but he grins, before crushing Bede in his arms and ruining all the good work Bede had done earlier.

“I love you too. I promise– I’m not going anywhere, except out the door with you.”

Bede laughs, almost delirious and shaking with relief. He should scold his boyfriend for not taking care of his appearance, but Hop’s eyes crinkle with all the light of the sun as he wipes away the moisture at the corner of Bede’s eyes.

Bede huffs instead. Leans in close to study every facet of the man he loves. “You’re beautiful.”

A final secret, spoken aloud into the world, for the man that holds Bede’s whole heart in his hands. A secret that could fade into the nothingness, no longer treasured and loved.

But Hop’s eyes light up, bright and golden, his smile trembling softly warm and shy. It suits him, precariously open and loving, brave and carefree, and the way he watches Bede is as if he’s hung all the stars in Hop’s sky.

Bede hopes, for Hop’s sake, maybe someday he would.

The honk of a taxi interrupts the quiet ambience of their home. Bede almost trips over his own two feet, but Hop’s arm holds him steady as his boyfriend laughs.

“Looks like that’s us. Shall we go?” Golden eyes crinkle as Hop holds out his arm. “I can’t wait to see what the gossip column has to say about us tomorrow.”

Bede sniffs, reaching over to tug Hop’s tie in place one last time. His boyfriend still looks a bit more rumpled than he’d prefer, but the blue really does make him look good. “I should have known you to be a masochist,” he snarks instead.

Hop wiggles his eyebrows. “Then you’ll soothe my poor, wounded ego when we get home, won’t you?”

Bede considers the question. “Only if you never speak a word of how much I dote on you.”

Hop nods solemnly. “My lips are sealed. Your secrets are safe with me.”

Bede knows. Still, he kisses him once more just to be sure.

#pokemon #bedehop #cheeryfairyshipping #woolooshipping #bede #hop #my fanfics #pls enjoyyyy #(and forgive me for taking so long LOL)

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gxilgramore · 1 year ago

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Long time no see!

I've been watching some classic who lately to see what's the fuss is about and... Yeah it's cool! I mean, all that i said in my rant on Blood of the Daleks still rings true, the pacing and narrative style is an acquired taste that is hard to get for a person like me, but don't get mistaken, i still liked what i watched, so much so I'll give a ranking from the episodes I've watched, im watching the episodes randomly, mainly the ones that interested me the most, so let's go.

From "worst" to best:

Season 18 - Full Circle

Honestly didn't grab me, i found it to be kinda boring, even though there is interesting thematic stuff here to be analysed. I liked Adric, but he was like this episode, confusing and kinda boring for a big part, the pacing is really slow, but i think this time for more narrative reasons than classic whoish shananigans, the weakest one by far.

50/100

Season 4 - Tomb of Cyberman

The second Doctor is the incarnation im most intrigued about, from the actor to the mystique of the lost episodes, and tomb being one his most iconic outings i though id see what makes him so beloved................ i was wrong, but not a 100%. I don't see much reasons to love the 2nd based on his scenes in this, not even the companions, they kinda don't do or show much, the episode focus more on the other parts of the narrative that being totally honest are boring, the Cyberman scene was really cool but also they don't have much of a presence on this episode, underwhelming more than i wanted to be, a bad first impression of the era, i'll try The Mind Robber or the Invasion later to see if its just me or the episode was boring.

69/100

Season 10 - The Five Doctors

Now it starts the episodes that i liked it, and this one is... nice! The Davidson doctor the is the one im the least interested in watching and this episode kinda helped it because i didnt see anything in him that wowed me, but the other doctors all of them offered me something interesting to care about them, i dont have much to say in this episode besides it was fun and all.

71/100

Season 25 - Remembrance of the Daleks

I might be admitting a crime with this one but it didn't grab me a lot, it was the first classic who story i've ever watched a couple months before this marathon and probably that's the reason i find to be so underwhelming to me, i don't remember much scenes besides the "unlimited chocolate pudding one", i will rewatch later once i watch Fenric and Happiness Patrol, but at the time, i didnt leave a mark on me.

72/100

Season 13 - Pyramids of Mars

I watched this episode at the height of the Sutekh rumours in the new series and liked more than i thought i would, yeah, the pacing is the biggest issue like ever but i loved Sarah and the 4th dynamic, they fell like old siblings with their constant quips and jokes, i also loved Sutekh (more than in those recent episodes btw) he was sitting throughout the 4 episodes but it was menacing and iconic, his voice is the biggest contributor, the soft but raspy tone, the way he emphasises certain words in a sentence giving them more weight, it sticks in my mind like bubblegum, i love also how they showed that Sutekh is a big deal in case he is freed better than those new episodes, Devils Chord literally rips off a scene from this episode where 4th shows Sarah the possible future where the world ends, it's great, a good episode all around.

75/100

Season 12 - Genesis of the Daleks

Ok, this one is kind of amazing, yeah it is a 6 parter, it gets boring after a while but what i love here is the themes on how the wrong point of view in survival and evolution could lead to genocide, if we took the nazi angle yeah it was kinda revisionist implying that the actual scientists would be against such a thing ignoring how fascism works as a thing that reaches the masses and also it can be seen as a kind of shallow portrayal that weakens the message but i see that this episode can have more reads than one, its cool to see the doctors dilemma and all. And also i love the anxiety and desperation of most of these episodes, with our heroes really near to get what they need but being stopped by some force, its great.

77/100

Season 7 - Spearhead from Space

Yeah, i was watching a lot of 4th Doctor but i also watched this one and it was great, i dont have much to say besides that i loved it, i like 3rd and his dynamic with Liz, at least their first interaction was great.

80/100

Season 17 - City of Death

The first one i watched in this recent marathon and its great, im shocked at how funny this one was, mainly in the last two parts, the downside is that i kinda dont get the hype still, even though i liked it, this episode in fact condenses all my opinions on classic who, i like what i see but i dont see what yall see, if that makes sense at all, still, was really fun. 84/100

Season 14 - The Deadly Assassin

By far my favorite from the classic series, at least at the moment, it's intense and interesting, starts with a gut punch of a mystery and it builds really well, and still treats timelords with certain respect even when showing them as burocrats, granted, everything i said in the previous section still true but this one grabbed me a lot. Even with the weird pacing in part 3.

90/100

And at the moment thats it, i dont know how long the Doccy Who hyper fixation will stay but ill enjoy it by watching more classic who episodes, the underline is that, i like what i see but all the problems i talked in my Blood of the Daleks review/rant still are true, i dont know if ill ever "get it" but i will keep watching to see whats going to resonate with me.

I have one more review coming up soon, probably tomorrow morning so stay tuned to that

#classic who #classic doctor who #bbc #doctor who #second doctor #third doctor #fourth doctor #fifth doctor #seventh doctor #tv shows #60s #70s #80s

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lets-just-daydream · 1 year ago

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Astarion x reader soulmate AU or vampire mates PLS IM BEGGING

I HOPE YOU LIKE! I did have fun writing this 🥹

An AU in which you feel the pain your soulmate feels.

Warnings: mentions of torture, nothing graphic

Astarion was sure of few things in the tragedy that was his life. But the things he was sure of were the things that killed his spirit. Things that quashed his will to live.

After two hundred years, he was sure he would die here, under Cazador's thumb. He wasn't sure when or how, but that would happen.

After two hundred years, he was sure that there were no gods out there who would ever answer him. He stopped praying to them long ago, for they clearly didn't care about creatures like him. Creatures of the night.

After two hundred years, he was sure that he had no soulmate. No partner that was out there waiting for him. Perhaps it was wishful thinking and in fact he hoped he had no soulmate out there, that maybe they were long dead by this point if they were lucky.

He thought it cruel, the way soulmates worked and deigned a guess that Loviatar must have had something to do with the cruel design. A person can feel their soulmate’s pain. How awful. And how truly awful for any person bound to himself or his siblings.

He hadn't felt any phantom pain himself in all his years under Cazador so he remained hopeful that they were already dead. Gods know his soulmate didn't deserve it.

One day, Astarion sat in his dilapidated bunk with the heavy curtains pulled shut and a threadbare blanket over his shoulders as he worked diligently with his needle, repairing his beloved shirt for… well he'd lost count how many times he'd repaired this shirt. That's just the way it was.

As he pulled the white thread through the thinning fabric, he let out a yelp and a strained “fuck!” as he dropped the needle and his hand flew to his foot. His small toe ached as if he'd just dropped something on it or stubbed it. He frowned and looked down at it. It looked fine but gods, the pain was awful.

Any other person would know, would get that feeling that their soulmate had just hurt themselves but the possibility was so far removed from Astarion's mind. He brushed it off with an annoyed huff and picked his needle up again to continue his repairs, the pain eventually fading.

It happened again, a few weeks later. An inexplicable pain that changed the course of his sad existence. It was late, he was out. At the Elfsong Tavern, chatting up some stranger to bring back to Cazador. He wasn't really paying attention to what she was saying, but he feigned interest, nodding where appropriate and throwing in the occasional affirmation as he sipped the goblet of wine paid for by stolen coin he'd lifted from an unsuspecting drunkard.

Astarion shuffled closer to her, wanting to speed this along. His hand came up and pulled her hair back from her ear and whispered.

“What do you say we get out of here and somewhere more quiet…” His voice silken and honey smooth.

Mere words whispered and she was a red, blushing mess. He heard her heartbeat pick up and she nodded, her excitement obvious only to him. He stood from his seat and extended his hand to her and as she reached out to him, an intense pain marred his knee. Astarion doubled over and grasped at his knee, letting out a curse as he pulled his pant leg up to examine whatever injury he'd just sustained.

There was nothing there, his knee smooth and pale, slightly bruised but that wasn't out of the ordinary. He felt like he should be bleeding with a sizeable wound. He whipped his head around to see if anyone had attacked him but no one paid him any mind except his “date.”

Astarion was annoyed and confused. He lowered his pant leg again with a huff and the woman who he didn't bother to learn the name of let out a laugh. “Seems like your soulmate is out there getting into trouble.”

If Astarion had warm blood coursing through his veins, it would have gone cold.

“What?”

The woman stood, grabbing her belongings. “Your soulmate. Obviously hurt their knee since you're in pain but seem fine. Happens to all of us. I'm almost certain my soulmate got their arm chopped off last week based on the pain I felt for days and days.”

She shuddered and grimaced, rubbing her left arm. “You see anyone with a fucked up arm, come find me. Goodnight.”

And then she left. She left him in a stupor and a predicament. Firstly, it was too late to try and seek anyone else out to bring to Cazador tonight. By Astarion's estimations the sun should be rising soon and he needed to get back to the palace. The thought of arriving empty handed caused a familiar panic to rise in him at whatever torture he was certainly due for this day.

But secondly, and possibly worse if he let himself think about it too much… whatever pain he was about to go through would be inflicted onto you. His unsuspecting soulmate. If what that woman said was to be believed, anyway.

Astarion wandered back to the palace in a haze. He ping ponged between self-preservation and not letting himself get worked up over the fact that you were about to be tortured, put through some of the worst pain you could ever endure. He tried not to think about it. Tried not to be weak but he couldn't help the guilt. Even if he did manage to find you, even if you were out there, you could never want him after what you were both about to go through tonight.

Hours later, after Cazador had finished taking his wrath out on Astarion for failing to bring him a victim, he wept. He often wished for death, never prayed but he did this day, with each flog, flay torture, he wept in excess for you.

Pain was… quite normal for you these days and you lived most of your life in fear for when the next bout of pain was going to knock you out for several days. Whoever your soulmate was, whatever life they lead, you felt awful for them. You couldn't help but also feel a little resentment for all the torturous pain you'd been through and when you finally did meet them, you were going to demand some fucking answers. Not only did they seemingly get beaten up everyday, but the constant hunger pains you felt never went away despite how much you ate. Were they starving themselves?

Your whole body ached. You'd been saved from falling to your demise at the very least as the nautiloid ship crashed but gods you’d still had some momentum when you hit the ground.

For now though, you stood and took in your surroundings, dusting your clothes off and squinting as the bright sun beat down on you. You stepped through scraps of metal towards some rocky cliffs and to what looked like a path. You made it through and saw someone, a tall, pale elf standing by the cliffside, examining the damage made by the crash. His hand staked through his hair and he looked around warily until he finally laid eyes on you.

“You there!” He called out. He sounded posh and you internally rolled your eyes. “Can you help me? I have one of those… brain things cornered.”

You walked over to him and peered into the bush where he was pointing and you jumped slightly when a boar ran out from the underbrush. You let out a laugh and sigh of relief and turned back to him but before you knew what was what, a cool knife was pressed against your neck and you fell to the ground, a grunt of pain escaping yours and the elf’s lips.

His arm came around your shoulder and he held you in place as you struggled, looking up at him. “What are you doing?” You cried.

He pressed the dagger against your neck and you felt a nick of pain as he drew blood. You cried out in pain and to your surprise, so did he. You paused, confused. The stranger also paused, his body stiffening and his eyes zeroed in on your neck where his dagger met your skin.

You took this moment to your advantage and rolled out of his arms, making sure to elbow his face in the process. But as the crack of your elbow made contact with his nose, you cried out in pain and grasped at your nose, standing and looking at him in accusation.

He also stood, holding onto his nose and his neck.

He couldn't be.

Neither of you dared say a word as you clutched your faces in pain, staring. Waiting. For what, you weren't sure but the pieces started to fall into place and you slowly stepped towards him. He stiffened and leaned away from you but you grabbed his arm and pinched it, grimacing softly when, yes. You felt the same phantom pain in your own arm on the same spot. You said nothing and only stared into the stranger's red eyes.

He in turn, grabbed your arm and squeezed, stopping when it began to hurt.

This was it. This was him. This was your soulmate.

“No way,” you whispered.

The stranger turned soulmate seemed to be in a similar state of disbelief. “You're… real,” he murmured.

Whether he was pleased or upset, you weren't sure. He kept his feelings quashed. But you felt no desire to do such a thing. You'd often thought about what you would say when you finally met your soulmate and now that you were here, seeing his pale skin, his eyes with accompanying bags to match and his expression that he tried to keep impassive but you could see the fear etched onto his face your rehearsed words failed you.

Instead, you stepped forward and placed your hand on his arm comfortingly. He stiffened at the contact.

“I'm sorry,” is all you managed to whisper, your eyes wide and apologetic.

You didn't need to elaborate, he knew and you knew that he'd been put through shit, you along with him. You didn't resent him like he thought you would, you didn't accuse him or yell at him for what he'd put you through. No. You apologised to him.

He shuddered out a sigh of relief and stared at you, a small smile on his face.

“My name's Astarion.”

#red writes #astarion x reader #astarion fanfiction #astarion fic

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chaotic-on-main · 2 years ago

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sky my lovely!!! first off congratulations you absolute sweetie pie!! so deserved and I cant wait to watch you grow more <3

second!! im sliding a $5 across the ice cream truck counter very suavely to order a pralines and cream with hot fudge (my absolute favorite!!) I'm thinking awkward unspoken feelings friends to lovers type thing?? like how long can we ignore that we woke up in each others arms??? AGH okay I love you mwah mwah thank you

Order up!! One pralines and cream with hot fudge for Mars!

Sky's Summer and 250 Follower Event

☾ Pairings ➼ Megumi Fushiguro x gn!Reader

☾ Content/Warnings ➼ fluff, expletives, one bed, friends to lovers (almost), modern au

☾ Author's Note ➼ Hi Mars!! Thank you so much for sending in a request! I may be a Levi girly, but I gotta admit I had a lot of fun writing this. I definitely did not start this at 2am and decided to stay up til 5am to finish it. I'm queueing this up though, worry not. Also I realized last minute you might have wanted more of the aftermath of waking up in each other's arms so if you would like a second part to this, please let me know?? I wouldn't mind, as I have something in mind that could work. But if I had continued, it would have easily been over 5k words and I need to work on other requests LMAO.

☾ Word Count ➼ ~2.2k

It would figure with your shitty track record, everything and their mother would do anything in their power to stop you from reaching your destination – your hometown. Due to traffic, multiple car wrecks, and now what felt like the heaviest thunderstorm known to man – you find yourself sitting behind the wheel 9 hours into what should have been a 7 hour drive. And according to the GPS display on the dash, you’re still a couple hours away from where you’re supposed to be.

Your knuckles turn white as you grip the steering wheel in distress. The rain comes down in sheets, making the wipers work overtime just to give you a few seconds glimpse at the road ahead. You sat in silence because you had turned the radio off a few miles back so you could focus. A cough to your right startles you and it takes everything within you to not swerve off the road.

“Shit! Megumi, what the fuck.” You hiss, pressing your hand to your chest in a means to calm your beating heart.

“I just coughed, calm down.” Your black haired companion mumbles, rolling his eyes at you. “You’re so dramatic.”

“Well excuse me for trying to keep us alive. If you couldn’t tell, there’s a lot of shit happening outside.” You scowl. In your high-strung concentration, you completely forgot about your best friend sitting in the passenger seat. He’s the whole reason why you’re even going back home in the first place.

One of his friends from high school is getting married back in the hometown where you all grew up. You knew of this friend by association, but that was it. You didn’t even know Megumi back then, even though you went to the same school as him. You had actually met him at the local community college before both getting opportunities in the same city post-graduation. Now that you think back on it, Megumi has been your roommate for as long as you remember.

Maybe that’s why you felt the need to help him when his car decided to take a shit, offering to drive him at the very last minute. You suppose you could have let him just borrow your car, but you were persistent to drive him yourself. You told yourself it was to make sure your car got there and back in one piece. Part of you tells yourself you’re a liar.

Megumi calls your name.

“What?” You squint your eyes, as if that would help you see what was out the blurry windshield.

“Let’s just pull off and get a motel somewhere. This storm is not letting up and it’s already so late. You need a break.”

“I promised to get you there. So I’m doing that.” You frown at the possibility of failing him.

“You’re not breaking that promise by pulling off for the night. We’ll just get up early tomorrow and head straight there.” Megumi insists.

“We’re only a cou-“

“Pull off on the next exit or I’m grabbing the steering wheel from you.” He cuts in wryly.

“Then we’d both be dead, is that what you want?” He doesn’t say anything to that. When you take a second to glance over, you’re met with a slight scowl.

“Ugh, FINE.” You get into the left lane and slow down, waiting for the next exit to come up.

Fortunately for you two, there are plenty of places to stay in the little area you pull off into. Unfortunately, every place you call has no vacancies due to this time of year except for a dinky little motel way down the road. It wasn’t your first choice, and you had even offered to drive down to the next exit to find something else. Megumi points out the next exit wasn’t for another 30 miles, so the dinky little motel it was.

“If I get murdered in my sleep, I want you to know it was all your fault.” You mutter to Megumi as you rip open the office door, dripping wet from just a few seconds of being out in the pouring rain.

“You can stay in the car then. It’ll save you money.” He mumbles back quietly.

“Pft, whatever.” You turn your focus to the clerk sitting at the front desk, currently blowing bubbles with chewing gum and scrolling through her smartphone. She doesn’t look up.

“Uh- excuse me?” You call out. She still doesn’t acknowledge you or your friend.

Megumi goes up to the counter and slaps a hand down onto the linoleum covered counter. The clerk jumps up, eyes wide in shock. It takes a moment for her to register there are two customers waiting for her.

“Can I help you?” She says, her tone drenched with boredom.

“Yeah, two rooms please.” Megumi says, holding up two fingers – his ring and pinky.

“Let me see.” The clerk says. She puts her phone down to click around the computer in front of her. She types a few things in, clicks around, then flickers her eyes above the screen to the two of you.

“We only have one room left.” Her monotonous voice was really starting to grate at you.

“Does it at least have two beds?” You ask, annoyance slipping into your voice.

You’re met with a shrug and a pop of bubble gum. You take a step forward, feeling the heat of your frustration simmering. Megumi holds his arm out across your chest and holds you back.

“We’ll take it, thanks.” With that, Megumi pays for it and is handed the keys in turn.

“Check out is 11am. Thanks for staying with us, or whatever.” The lady says, waving her hands dismissively before going back to her phone. If you weren’t so drained, you would have thrown yourself over the counter at her. Maybe it was due to being so drained that you were thinking of doing something so feral. Instead, you take a deep breath and follow Megumi out the door.

The rain still comes down in sheets as you and Megumi rush to grab the bags from the trunk and book it up to the second floor where the room you were staying in lies. Much to your ever growing irritation, the motel in question is one of those that have the open walkways, only the guardrail and overhang serving as protection. Not like it matters anyways, because the rain starts blowing at an angle and pelts you in the face as you struggle to make it to the room.

Your boiling pot of anger threatens to spill over when you stumble into the room behind Megumi to find that there weren't two beds – in fact there was only one. The smallest queen you had ever seen. In the grimiest looking motel room you have ever seen. Dropping your bag to the floor, you groan in frustration.

“That lady sucks.” You rub your face with both hands, pulling your cheeks down and staring over to Megumi. He’s grabbing some extra blankets and a pillow from the storage closet by the bathroom. “What are you doing, ‘Gumi?”

“Getting my spot on the floor ready.” He mutters without looking over to you. After tossing the bedspread onto the floor, he heads to the bathroom. You bound over to him quickly, only to have the door shut in your face.

“Like hell you will. Take the bed, I’ll get the floor.” You shout over the hardwood. He doesn’t respond. Instead of being a normal person who would just wait over the by the bed, you slam your fists into the door.

“You’ve been driving all day. You deserve the bed more than me.” You hear him say, muffled. You stare at the faded, thin carpet under your feet. It’s a dark burgundy, littered randomly with even darker spots. Perhaps it had been a bright red at one point?

“That floor looks like it hasn’t been cleaned since the 90s. Why don’t we just…” You trail off as Megumi opens the door, coming face to face with you. He wasn’t expecting you to be so close. You notice he had changed into dry pajamas, though you’re not sure how he did it so quickly. Nor did you see him bring clothes in with him. You must be really tired.

“Why don’t we just what?” A black eyebrow raises at you in curiosity.

“..Just share the bed.” You mumble under your breath. Turning on your heel, you head over to the side of the bed closest to the wall.

“Do what?” Megumi follows you, frowning slightly. He hadn’t heard you.

“Share the bed.” You say louder, not looking his way. In all the years you both had been roommates, sharing a bed was something that had never come up. It wasn’t needed, for obvious reasons.

“I mean, if that’s okay with you.” He replies back coolly. Your eyes snap up to his, and notice he’s watching you anxiously despite his tone.

“We don’t have to. It was just a suggestion.” You raise your hands up in defense, puffing your cheeks out.

“No, I think it’s the smartest choice we have.”

“You’re sure?”

“I’m sure.”

“Postive?”

“Just go change into dry clothes, dummy.” He rolls his eyes and walks past to his side of the bed. You trill your lips as you push yourself off the bed and into the bathroom after grabbing a pair of pajamas out of your small bag.

You find yourself on your side facing the wall about 10 minutes later. Megumi is tucked under the covers behind you, facing the window you suspect. It’s quiet bar for the ticking of the analog clock on the wall above the tv by the front door. Before getting into bed, he had made sure to lock every lock available to him.

‘Triple reassurance.’ He had said.

You roll onto your back and stare up at the ceiling. That thought from earlier today about why you were so insistent on driving him surfaces to the top of your mind. You turn your head to where Megumi currently lies, his back to you confirming your assumption from before. His black hair pools around his pillow. You think you’re the only person who has ever seen his hair down from his normal spiky style.

“’Gumi?” You whisper over to him. You’re met with silence, which means he must have fallen asleep. Exhausted from the drive today, sleep comes to you just as easily. Your last thought before falling into pitch black nothingness is Megumi's stupidly cute smile.

When you wake, you don’t open your eyes right away. You can already tell the sun must be up by the way your eyelids tint pink. Your eyes flutter open and you blink hard a few times to reorient yourself. An ugly navy striped wallpaper glares back at you. Where were you?

You take a second to think. That’s right, you and Megumi had stopped at a motel last night to shelter from the storm for the evening. A small gust of air blows down your neck and it takes everything in you to not jump up and out of bed. Something cinches over your waist and pulls you close and your eyes widen. Wait, Megumi.

Carefully, you slide your hand down to what was around your waist and a breath hitches in your throat. It’s an arm, and not just any arm. It belongs to Megumi – solely based off the fact he was the only one in the bed with you.

By the depth of his breaths, you can tell he’s still sleeping. Good, you think to yourself. Maybe you can move his arm off you gently and not wake him. However, when you go to wrap your fingers around his wrist, he digs his face into your hair and sighs softly. He’s pulling you in closer too, and this is where you’re drawing the line.

“U-uh Megumi.” You say. Your voice is crackly with the lack of moisture.

His breathing steadies out, and suddenly you feel him stiffen up behind you. Slowly, he pulls away and the sadness that comes with the absence of his body heat hits faster than you would have cared to admit.

“S-Sorry.” He mutters behind you, his own voice thick with sleep.

“No, it’s okay.” You squeak out. Pulling yourself out of the covers, you grab your bag and practically run to the bathroom, shutting the door behind you with a soft click.

You don’t come out for another 30 minutes, deciding to take a quick shower to calm yourself down. A few mental arguments later, you feel you can face him. This needed to be talked about. You wanted to talk about it. You take a deep breath and throw the bathroom door open. When you walk out, however, you see Megumi dressed and ready to go by the door, his bag in hand.

“There you are. Ready to head out? If we leave now, we can make it for the rehearsal lunch.” He looks up from his phone that he must have been scrolling on while waiting.

“I-yeah. Megumi, listen-“ You stop with your mouth open, ready to say what you had rehearsed in the steamed up bathroom mirror. But nothing comes out. Instead, you pinch your lips together and give him a nod. “Yeah. Let’s go."

TBH I don't know of any other JJK moots. So if you see this and wanna be tagged in my next JJK fics, please comment to let me know?? Thank you! (I will tag @romantichomicide95 tho because I know she's a Megumi girly)

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #megumi fushiguro #megumi fushiguro x reader #megumi #megumi x reader #megumi x gn!reader #megumi fushiguro x gn!reader #modern au #fluff #one bed #sky's summer event #ice cream order: pralines and cream with hot fudge

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rebelwrites · 3 years ago

Text

Space Bound

Jax Teller x Reader

Requested by: @midnight-moonlight-and-mars || Hello! Im new to your writing and aive enjoyed what I found so far! Can you a Jax Teller x Reader where the reader runs an all female biker gang and makes an alliance with Jax for some reason? Of course drama and romance ensues and maybe some angst🤔😏😏

Summary: The saddest part of betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies. Five years had passed since Y/N and Jax had seen each other. As much as the decision to move back to Charming pained Y/N, it needed to be done, for the safety of her club she needed to turn to the one person who she’d happily never see again. Over the years she had gotten plenty of wounds but there would always be that one that would never never truly heal no matter how hard she tried.

WARNINGS ⚠️: heartbreak, guns, sass, violence, dead animal, knifes, stalking, death threats, drugs, mentions of a drug addiction, drug dealing, drug running, abuse, blood, death.

WORD COUNT: LONG AS FUCK 😂 we are talking 9k here

Jax Teller Masterlist

A/N: THERE WILL NOT BE A PART TWO

The weight of the worn leather on your shoulders provided a feeling of safety, along with the coolness of the gun that was tucked in the waistband of your ripped jeans. Wrapping your fingers around the throttle of the bike, you took a deep breath.

“You good?” Lana, your VP, asked.

Turning your focus to her, you gave her a nod. “Just peachy,” you said firmly, not wanting to let the rest of the group know the torment you were feeling. Only Lana knew about your history with this town, the pain in the memories, the reason it took so long to finalise the new clubhouse.

“Don’t let him get in your head, girl.” She said lowly. “The past is the past, right? You knew what was on the line when you agreed to the move. Maybe this time will be different?”

“Easier said than done,” you sighed, a chill running down your spine as those piercing blue eyes haunted your memories. “Trust me, nothing will have changed. Especially not him.”

“Look, I know how hard this is for you.” She whispered, leaning over placing her hand on your shoulder. “But we need him. We can’t be on the run forever and I know you know that. Just like I know how much this is eating you alive that we must be here. But he isn’t used to the new version of you.”

“Yeah, you are right,” you breathed, reaching into the pocket of your kutte and pulling the crumpled packet of cigarettes out. Flicking the lid open, you pulled one of the death sticks out with your teeth, letting it hang between your lips. “This town isn’t ready for the new Y/N, just like it isn’t ready for the chaos that follows the Devils Riders.”

Once the smoke was lit, you wrapped your fingers around the handles of the bike, revving the engine a few times to signal it was time. This would be a new start for not only you, but for your club. It just sucked a bag of dicks that you had to reach out to the one person you never wanted to see again to make the new start possible.

It was time to cause some chaos before you went to him. You knew that your presence would stir things up with the Sons. News of a new MC in town always ripped through this place faster than a wildfire. But they wouldn’t expect that the little sweet girl they once knew would be the person lighting the match.

Lifting your feet off the floor, you tighten your grip on the throttle, speeding off with Lana close behind you, followed by the rest of the club and the moving trucks. As you sped through the streets of Charming, you laughed at the amount of heads that were being turned. The moment you saw the reaper on the back of a kutte you knew within the next thirty minutes Jax would be made aware that there was a new club in town.

Silently, you prayed to yourself that he would at least give you a couple of hours and unload all the trucks before he came storming in. But this was Jax Teller you were on about. He didn’t play by the rules.

It didn’t take long before the bikes were being parked outside the lot. That would be your new home. When you were searching for the perfect place to call the new home of the Devils Riders, this place called out to you.

The exterior and the lower floor was a cute little ice cream shop, there wasn’t a lot of parking but you had bought the private parking that was directly outside of the shop, meaning there was plenty of space for all the bikes and your car.

A smirk formed on your face as the sound of the bikes bounced off the buildings. The roar of the metal horses was gaining a lot of attention, especially as you slowed down when the shop came into view. Pulling into the centre of the road, you slowly backed your bike into the spot, Lana following suit, backing her bike in next to yours.

Your foot found the kickstand as you shut the engine off, reaching up you let your fingers fiddle with the clasp of the helmet, within seconds it was now hanging off the handlebars and your fingers ran through your hair, shaking it out before checking in the mirror to make sure you didn’t have helmet hair.

Swinging your leg over the bike, you stood back on the sidewalk as the flat bed pulled up.

“Shall we get the beast off?” Josie grinned, hanging out the window of the truck.

“Silly question,” you winked, shoving your hand inside your pocket, pulling the keys out. Turning to Lana, you tossed her the keys, no words were spoken with the exchange. She was the only person you trusted enough to get the perfectly restored 1969 Mustang Fastback off the flatbed and to park it.

There was a buzz in the air as the club gathered on the sidewalk, itching to see the new clubhouse.

“Welcome home, girls,” you nodded, turning your back to them all to unlock the building. Taking a breath, you slowly pushed the door open, smiling when the small bell over the door rang out around the room.

This place was exactly like the photos you saw online. It had a welcoming vibe. The back wall had a large mural paint on it, the colours were bright. The flowers stood out against the dark green vines. The rest of the shop had a black and white theme to it, the floor was tiled in a checkerboard pattern and the wall behind the counter had a large section painted black with chalkboard paint.

“Well, this is cute.” Lana grinned, draping her arm over your shoulder as she took in the surroundings. “We can definitely put our own stamp on this place.”

“Church girls,” you grinned, spinning around turning both you and Lana around so you were facing the club. Everyone had a grin on their face, excited for a new start.

Only a few people knew the true reason behind the move. You didn’t want to worry the rest of the club, so only your vice president and sergeant at arms knew the reason. You knew the club would need to know soon, especially when you brought the Sons into the equation. But for now, it was a need to know basis. Shaking Lana’s arm off your shoulder, you lead the way to the new church.

The room was empty apart from stacks of chairs in the corner of the room. Instantly, you grabbed a chair and the rest of the girls followed suit. Soon enough, you were all sitting in the middle of the room in a close circle.

“I know there is a lot of work to be done to put our stamp on this place.” You laughed, leaning back in the chair, “But this is a fresh start for us all, we have no reputation in this town so we can get off on the right foot, have more legitimate sources of income, which was why I thought the ice cream shop would be perfect.”

“Everyone loves ice cream.” Josie grinned.

“That they do, which was why this place was perfect.” You nodded, taking a breath. “So this will not be a simple transition.” You said, glancing over to Lana, who gave you a nod of support. “There is another MC in this town. They kind of run this place. People cross the road when they see one member coming. They are brutal and have no remorse. If you ever have a run in with a member of SAMCRO, SOA or Sons of Anarchy, you let me know and I will deal with things.”

“Should we be worried?” Josie, my sergeant at arms, asked. You knew it was more for show.

“I’m going to say no. I know exactly how to deal with the Sons, so just come to me if you have any issues.” You nodded, taking in the reaction to the group. “Now let's call this meeting to an end, seeing as we have four trucks full to empty. Lana has the floor plans of this place documenting where all your rooms are. This place is bigger than it looks.”

Lana started handing out the pieces of paper with a smirk planted on her face. “Top floor is out of bounds, the same rules apply as the last clubhouse. Top floor is mine and Y/N’s safe space.”

Pushing yourself to your feet, you snuck out of the room, needing a moment alone. Your head was spinning and you had only been in Charming for less than an hour. Running down the stairs, you stood in the middle of the shop floor, taking it all in. It surprised you that Jax hadn’t burst into the building demanding answers. You knew that the news would have reached him by now, just like you knew he wouldn’t be able to ignore a new club in town. The moment he realised you were back in town, he would demand answers.

“Where's Jax?” the prospect asked as he walked into the clubhouse.

“I’m here.” Jax laughed as he walked out of church. “What's the matter? It looks like you are going to puke.”

“There's another club in town.”

Jax stared at him blankly, trying to determine if this was a joke or not. “What do you mean, there is another club in town?” He asked, running his hands over his hair, smoothing it down. “If there was another club, I would know about it.”

The prospect stayed silent, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Well spit it out, boy.” Chibs said, standing next to Jax, folding his arms over his chest.

“It was a female club. There were at least four moving trucks with them as well. I think their kuttes said 'Devils Riders' or something. Looks like they are moving into the ice cream parlour. The one we used as the clubhouse whilst this place was being fixed up.”

Jax felt a shiver run down his spine the moment he heard the name. It was one he hadn’t heard for a few years now.

Chibs noticed the colour drain from his brother’s face and had a good feeling he knew what was causing Jax to freak out. “Okay, everyone out.” Chibs shouted, making Jax jump the moment he placed his hand on Jax’s shoulder. As everyone was filtering out of the room, Chibs guided Jax into church, letting the door slam closed behind them.

“Are you okay?”

“I think so,” Jax said, flopping down into his chair at the head on the table, placing a cigarette between his lips. Keeping his eyes trained on the wooden table. “I just haven’t heard that name for a while.”

“I know Jackie Boy,” Chibs nodded, lighting his own cigarette. “Why do you think I kicked everyone out? Do you think it is her?”

“It’s got to be,” Jax said, balling his hand into a fist, watching as his knuckles turned white, the anger flowing through his veins. “Why the fuck is she in town? Why hasn’t she dropped me a text letting me know she was in town? How long is she staying?”

Chibs sighed heavily, watching as Jax’s head spun, the questions falling out of his mouth without thinking. “First, take a deep breath.” He said slowly. “We don’t know if it is Y/N for sure. Neither of us have heard from her for seven years. I know you have a lot of questions because I do too. But we can’t just jump to conclusions.” Chibs ran his hand over his face, knowing that his next statement would cause Jax to blow up. “I’m going to be honest with you here, but after everything you did to her, can you blame her for not dropping you a text? That if she is in town.”

Jax slammed his fist down on the table. He knew Chibs was right, but that didn’t stop the anger from overflowing. If you were back in town, then things would get extremely messy. Jax didn’t have many regrets, but you were his biggest one.

What once was an amazing friendship turned relationship was now a fire that couldn’t be put out. All that was left was pain and memories that hurt. He knew he shouldn’t have gone through the orders he was given. But he did, and he had spent the rest of his time regretting the decision because now you were sworn enemies.

“Looks like we are going for ice cream.” Jax growled, clenching his fist. He needed to know if you were back in town and if you were, he wanted to know why.

Kicking the chair back, he stormed out of the room, not talking to anyone, as he made his way to his bike. He didn’t care if anyone came with him. In fact, he preferred to go alone, mainly because he didn’t know how this brief visit would go down.

His bike roared as he sped out of the compound. He knew Chibs would be hot on his tail; he knew the route like the back of his hands. The grip on the throttle was getting tighter by the seconds, his knuckles turning white from the pressure. He was breaking every speed limit and running every red light, but he would not stop until he had seen things with his own eyes.

The moment he turned into the street, he knew you were back in town. His heart dropped at the sight of the Mustang that was parked outside Scoops, there was no denying that it was your car. He had spent many hours helping you restore the beast. Slowly he parked his bike across the road, leaning against the handlebars, watching as girls filtered in and out of the shop, their arms full of boxes and bags.

Taking a deep breath, his foot found the kickstand before he climbed off the bike. His heart was pounding against his chest right now. Every memory that had been shared was playing in his mind like a film. You were a big part of his life that he thought he had gotten over the first time you left, but now the weight of it all was crushing him. He didn’t wait for Chibs to catch up. He stormed across the road, making a B-Line for the shop.

Normally he would flirt with everyone but today was different. He didn’t care about the girls, all he cared about was you, wanting to know why you were back in town when you said you’d never step foot in Charming again.

“Can I help?” A sweet voice said, causing Jax to turn his gaze over to the counters to see a tall brunette leaning over the glass.

“Thought I’d come and welcome you to Charming.” He nodded, with no emotion showing on his face.

“Ahh, you must be Jax,” the brunette said with a quick nod. “Wondered how long it would be before you graced us with an appearance.”

“Is your president around?” He asked, letting his eyes dart around the shop. This place was still the same as when they owned it.

The brunette smirked at Jax, moving to the open door at the back of the room. Leaning against the doorframe, she poked her head into the wall way. “Yo Pres,” she shouted, laughing when the music paused. “We got visitors and a pretty blond is asking for you.”

You froze at Josie’s words. Even though you were expecting this, it didn’t stop the anger running through your body.

“Y/N, take a deep breath.” Lana said softly, placing her hand on your shoulder. “I’ve got your back.”

Dropping the box in your hands onto the table, you ran your hands through your dyed red hair, making a mental note that you needed to redo it as it was fading. Without saying a word, you made your way down to the shop floor. Your heart was pounding against your ribs as you tried to control the anger. This would be the first time seeing Jax in years, but the pain still cut deep and, if you were being honest, still hadn’t healed.

The door to the shop was open and from where you were standing, you could see the perfectly maintained blond hair from across the room.

Slowly, you walked across the room, silence engulfing the place as you and Jax locked eyes. If it wasn’t obvious you two knew each other, it was one hundred percent clear now. Narrowing your eyes at him as he took in your appearance.

“Jackson Teller,” you spat, folding your arms across your chest. “I knew it wouldn’t be long before you made an appearance.”

“Should have texted me, you know, give me a heads up.” He growled, matching your expression. “You know the Sons run this town.”

“Tough shit,” you shrugged, not taking your gaze off him. “There’s a new crew in town now and things are going to change. It’s time the Sons got brought down a peg or two.”

“Is that so?” He said, lowering his voice, taking a few quick steps closing the gap between the two of you. “I didn’t even know you had your own club.”

“I don’t have to run all my life decisions by you,” you spat. “you lost that privilege many years ago. Now if all you wanted was to show up and show us how big your dick was, then congratulations mission accomplished.”

“You’ve changed.”

“I wonder who’s fault that was.” You scoffed, glaring at him. “Now, if you don’t mind leaving, that would be amazing. I have shit to do.”

“I will keep an eye on you, Darlin’,” he smirked, before spinning around and walking out of the shop.

“Oh Jax,” you called, watching as he stopped in his tracks, looking over his shoulder. “You may have come in here to prove you have a big dick, but remember one thing, mine's a lot bigger than yours and if I wanted to, I could crush you.”

“We shall see about that baby girl.” He winked, before disappearing out of the shop, leaving you standing in the middle of the floor with everyone’s eyes on you.

You knew what was coming next. Judging by the looks on everyone’s faces, they all had questions. You knew this conversation would have to happen, but you were hoping to get a couple of days to prepare yourself.

“What was that all about?”

“Why did he act like he knew you?”

“Do you know him?”

“He can’t talk to you like that.”

“Y/N what’s the deal with him?”

“If you don’t tell us, we are packing the vans back up.”

Running your hands through your hair, you took a deep breath, staring out of the window to see Jax straddling his bike, a knowing smirk on his face. The bastard knew what he was starting when he came here.

“Okay,” you sighed, “here's the truth,” you said quietly, running your hands over your face as you sat on top of one of the tables. “I grew up with Teller. Charming is my hometown. We were best friends growing up, which then turned into a relationship.” You said, taking in all their reactions. “I’m not going into too much detail because it’s still pretty painful, just like deciding to move here was. But something happened. Jax was involved, and I paid the price for his actions.”

“So why did we move here, then?”

“Because there are things I’ve kept hidden from you all, thinking I could handle it myself. But turns out I couldn’t. The clubhouse getting raided and shot up. That was my fault, not taking the threats seriously.” You said, blinking back the tears, trying not to let your mind wander. “The move here was my last option. There’s only one club that can help me get us out of this mess. The Sons.”

Silence fell across the room.

“Look, I really thought I could handle this, but without the help of Jax and the club, I don’t see how I’m going to get out of this alive, as well as keeping you all safe.” Tears burned your eyes as you spoke. “I need some time alone.” You didn’t want to let the tears fall in front of your girls. In fact, you refused to.

Without saying a word, you pushed through the crowd, letting the breeze hit your skin. You knew coming back here would be trouble, but you thought you’d get a couple of days before you saw him again. Because the moment you saw those blue eyes, your chest started getting tighter as your eyes locked. All the feelings that you had locked away for years were now crashing over you, the weight of them crushing you into the ground once again.

How could someone have this much hold on your heart? Running your hands through your hair, you turned to the empty boxes that were piled up on the sidewalk, kicking them across the street, trying to release a small bit of anger.

Blinking back tears, you unlocked the Mustang, noticing Jax was still sitting on his bike, just watching, meaning he saw your reaction to him turning up.

Sighing heavily, you slipped into the driver's seat, fumbling with the keys because of your hands shaking in rage. Eventually you got the key in the ignition, taking a breath you looked up to find Jax staring right into your soul, you couldn’t read his expression so you did what any mature adult would do, you flipped him off as you sped out of the parking space.

You wouldn’t be any use to the club in the mood you were in, so you did what you knew best.

You ran.

Not wanting to face anyone or any more questions, you just drove, breaking every speed limit without a care in the world. Hoping that the road would soothe your soul, even if it was for a short period.

Jax’s mind was racing, just like it had since he found out you were in town. But this time it was worse. The moment he saw your face, he felt like someone had got his heart in a vice, squeezing the life out of it.

“Get out.” He snapped, not looking at the crow eater that was currently walking out of the bathroom in his bunk, wearing nothing but her underwear.

“What?”

“Get. The. Fuck. Out.” Jax said through gritted teeth, tossing her clothes at her. “I don’t want you here.”

He thought burying his cock in a crow eater would help, but all he could see was your face. He could see the pain that was hiding behind the fire in your eyes. He wasn’t stupid. He knew you better than you knew yourself. Or he used to.

Running his hand over his face, he was once again reminded of how badly he had fucked up. Everything was perfect until Tara turned up on his doorstep. He knew he shouldn’t have let her come between you and him, but he did. It was a mistake, but one that cost him everything: his best friend, his fiancé, his soulmate.

Nothing could dull the pain he still felt from that day. Not pussy, not alcohol, nothing.

“I should have fucking known she’d be here!” You spat, walking into the living room of the house you shared with Jax.

The sickly smell of her perfume filled the air, instantly making your stomach churn.

“I can explain.”

“Of course you can,” you growled. “You always have an explanation for everything, always making up lies to cover your tracks.”

“Y/N, please,”

“No Jax, just fucking shut up.” You snapped, pacing the hallway. “Do you know what? Go fuck yourself Teller,” tears burned your eyes as you fiddled with your engagement ring before pulling it off your finger, taking one last look at the ring before launching it down the hall. “We are fucking done. I’m obviously not enough for you, so I’m not even making you choose between me and her because I know the fucking answer. You made the choice the moment she walked back into your life.”

Tears were running down his face as his mind drifted back to the day you left him. The pain and heartbreak he was feeling was like it had happened yesterday, not five years ago.

His heart called out for you every single day, secretly hoping that when his phone went off, it was a text of you, but it never was.

It was the wake up call he needed. He didn’t know what he had until he watched the person he loved the most walk out of the door. Tara hung around for a month before he finally sent her packing, threatening her that if she ever showed her face in town again, he would have no problems putting a bullet between her eyes. He went on a mission of tracking you down for the next year, feeling relieved when he got an address.

He pouted his heart out in the letter he wrote, hoping that he might get a second chance. But that hope was snuffed out when he received a package around a week later.

All the box contained was a dead crow with a steak knife wedged in its chest. It was at the moment he knew he had lost you for good, so he gave up trying. He got the message loud and clear.

He would not stop until he knew why you were back in town. The girl that stood in front of him wasn’t the same girl he knew.

The new clubhouse was slowly coming together, the club's stamp had been put on it and it was quickly feeling like home, a feeling that you hated.

It had been a week since you had moved to Charming, and the club was quickly becoming known, but despite all the chaos that the last week was, you didn’t see Jax. You were grateful, but you knew he would watch from the sidelines.

“So what’s the plan?” Lana asked as she barged into your room, flopping down onto the bed.

“Why are you awake so early?” You groaned, rolling over to be greeted by her smiling face.

“Bitch, it’s eight am.” She laughed, before she dropped the smile, realising that you weren’t sleeping well again. “What time did you sleep?”

“Think it was around six,” you sighed, running your hand over your face. Not wanting to tell her that the texts had started again. It wasn’t like you wouldn’t tell her, but you just couldn’t find the right time.

Before she could speak, your phone buzzed on the nightstand. Lana was quick as she leant over you, grabbing your phone. Her face dropped as she read the message that was on the screen.

From Do Not Answer; It’s cute how you think you can run from me, bitch! You should know by now I will always find you. Just remember, I have eyes everywhere and I won’t stop until you are dead. I will get my drugs back.

“Why didn’t you tell me he had started texting you again?” She asked, not taking her eyes off the phone as she scrolled through the messages that had come through over the last couple of days.

“Couldn’t find the right time, I guess.” You hummed, tangling your fingers in your hair. “Thought I could handle it.”

“Y/N/N, you should have told me,” she sighed, tossing the phone to the end of the bed. “This shit is getting worse. Is this why you couldn’t sleep?”

“Yeah,” you nodded. “That and I spent all night typing out texts to Jax to then delete everyone of them before sending them.”

“You are speaking to Jax today.” She said sternly. “The boys are coming over today anyway, just to check in and make sure we are settling in. It gives you the perfect time to get things set up.”

You knew she was right. The whole reason you moved the club here was to gain the help from the Sons, yet all week you had been putting it off.

“When are they getting here?”

“They already are,” she half laughed, “they are downstairs in the shop.”

“You set me up!” You scoffed, playfully punching her in the shoulder before pushing yourself up onto the bed so you were sitting.

“Damn right I did. You needed a kick up the ass.” She nodded, taking your hand in hers. “This nightmare will be over soon, I promise.” She said softly, “now get your ass out of bed, make yourself look even hotter than normal and show that boy what he is missing.”

Taking a deep breath, you nodded at your best friend before rolling out of bed. You didn’t have the energy to do your makeup at hair, so you quickly pulled on a pair of skintight ripped skinny jeans and your Devils Riders hoodie, with your kutte sitting proudly on top. Sitting on the edge of the bed, you pulled your socks on before shoving your feet into your crisp white Air Force ones.

“If I’m going to finally face the music, I am going to need a coffee.”

“On it.” Lana laughed, rolling off the bed, and ran out of the room.

Pushing yourself to your feet, you slowly followed her, trying to drag things out a little longer. You knew you shouldn’t have, but you were going to put all your cards down on the table, showing your vulnerable side, and you really didn’t like that.

The moment you got onto the shop floor, Josie rushed over to you, a brown envelope in her grasp.

“This was on the floor when I came down this morning.” She whispered, passing you the document.

Looking down at the scruffy writing, your heart dropped. You knew exactly who it was from. Taking a deep breath, you tore open the envelope, pulling out the piece of paper.

You could feel everyone’s eyes on you, but once again Jax’s were burning deep into your soul. Ignoring the feeling, you let your eyes scan over the paper, your stomach churning as you realised this prick was in town based on the pictures you were holding in your hand. He was watching your every move.

“Lana, Josie, Jax, Chibs and Tig church in ten.” You nodded, passing the images to Lana. “I need a smoke.”

Silently, you made your way outside, not caring if anyone followed. The warmth of the breeze hit your face, making you sigh. You thought you’d be safe here, but the bastard was always one step ahead of you.

Leaning against the brick wall, you let your eyes closed as you lit your smoke.

“You in trouble?” Jax’s voice appeared to the side of you.

Of course he followed you.

“You could say that,” you half laughed, slowly opening your eyes to be met with his baby blues full of concern. “That’s the whole reason I’m back in this shit hole.”

“You need my help.” He whispered.

“Yeah.” You sighed.

“You know I will always help you out.” He said softly, “doesn’t matter that we have a messy history, I will always be there.”

Hearing the softness in his voice made you feel awkward. You hated asking for help, yet here you were reaching out to the one person you didn’t want to see again. Breaking eye contact, you scanned the street, freezing when you spotted the Camaro parked across the street.

“The fucking bastard,” you snapped, tossing your half-smoked cigarette to the ground, holding your hand out to Jax. “Give me your knife.”

Without hesitation, he handed over the weapon, following as you stormed over to the car.

Anger was running through your entire body, your hands shaking from the adrenaline. You were sick of constantly looking over your shoulder, fearing for your life and the life of your club. So right now you didn’t care about any repercussions.

Wedging the knife through the front grill into the radiator, an evil smirk planted on your face as the guy jumped out of the car.

“You fucking bitch!”

“Give your brother a message for me,” you spat, folding your arms over your chest. “Tell him he doesn’t fucking scare me. He can send all the texts he wants. Have you stalk me but his time is coming?”

“You know he won’t rest until he gets what he wants.” Dylan laughed, a sleazy smirk appearing on his face. “And we both know what it is he wants.”

“Well, he can go fuck himself before that happens.” You growled, stepping closer to the prick, squaring up to him. “I’m sick of him thinking that he owns me.”

“Princess, he owns you, you owe him a debt, so it doesn’t matter that you have come running to pretty boy for protection. Lucas always gets what he wants.”

Jax could sense things were going to get messy and knew that the last thing you needed was the cops showing up, so he wrapped his hand around your arm, gently pulling you backwards. Once you were far enough back here wrapped his arm around your shoulder, pulling you close to him.

“Come on, he isn’t worth it.” He hummed, keeping his gaze trained on Dylan, letting his hand drop to yours, slowly prizing the knife out of your grip.

Spitting on the ground in front of Dylan, you violently shrugged Jax’s arm off your shoulder, hating that even after all the years that had passed, his touch still sent sparks through your body. Running across the street, you barged into the shop, ignoring everyone as you made your way up to the church.

The air was heavy as you paced around the room, waiting for everyone to file in. Your body was still shaking with fear and adrenaline. This nightmare needed to end and soon before you fell back into old habits. Reaching into the pocket of the leather, you ran your fingers over the metal token that you kept close to your heart.

“It’s not worth it.” You mumbled to yourself, squeezing the metal disk in the palm of your hand. “Four years, you’ve done it for four years. Don't slip up now.”

Your breathing was getting heavier as you continued to pace the room.

“Y/N,” Lana said, walking in, pausing when she saw your hand balled in a fist and realised you were mumbling to yourself. “Shit.” She said with panic dripping off her voice as she rushed over to you, pulling you into the tightest hug possible. She didn’t need you to say what was going through your mind. She had been through this before, so knew exactly what was going on. “Come on, just breathe.”

“Four years.” You kept mumbling as you buried your head against her chest.

“Four years,” she whispered, resting her head against yours. “You don’t need that shit. Look at how it made you.”

Everyone had gathered in the room. The boys were standing in shock. They weren’t one hundred percent sure what was happening, but it didn’t take long for them to put the pieces together. Jax’s heart broke when he finally clicked onto what you were on about. He didn’t know you had a drug problem. Was it because of him? Did you turn to drugs to numb the pain he caused?

“Lana, what can I do?” He asked, rushing over.

“Unfortunately, there’s nothing.” She sighed, looking over at him. “We just need to ride this out. This will pass, it always does. Stress doesn’t help the situation.”

“Can I try something?” He asked softly, knowing how he always calmed you down when you were friends.

“Go for it.” She nodded, releasing her grip on you.

The feeling of Jax’s heavy hand on your shoulder made you feel extremely vulnerable. He wasn’t meant to see this version of you, but here he was.

“It’s okay,” he hummed, pressing a long kiss against the top of your head. Taking a step back, he shrugged off his kutte, laying it on the table, followed by his hoodie and his t-shirt. He did not know if this would work, but it was worth a try. “Do you have a blanket?”

“Yeah,” Lana nodded, before rushing out of the room.

“Jax,” you whimpered.

“I’m here,” he whispered, brushing your hair out of your face. “Do you trust me?”

Choking on your tears, you slowly nodded at him. Even though he broke your heart, you still trusted him with your life if it came down to it. Knowing exactly what he was doing as he stood there topless. His fingers found the edge of your kutte, slowly pushing it off your shoulders and placed it next to his on the table. His finger then found the hem of your hoodie, dragging it over your head, leaving you standing there in your sports bra.

Lana returned, tossing the blanket to Jax. He smiled softly at you as he guided you to the corner of the room, his arms wrapping around your body, pulling you to the floor. Once he was comfy, he pulled you into his lap, pulling the blanket around the both of you, letting you settle in his lap before he wrapped his arms around your body.

“Just focus on my heartbeat, the warmth and feeling of my skin against yours.” He whispered, resting his forehead against the top of your head.

Your mind spinning remembering the feeling of numbness the white powder gave you. “I don’t want to feel anymore. I need to numb the pain.”

“You are stronger than you think, Darlin’. You don’t need anything to numb the pain.” He whispered, his heart breaking with every word he spoke. “You have been clean for four years and I’m so fucking proud of you. I know it’s hard, but you can’t let this shit get to you, causing you to relapse.”

“But-“

“No Darlin’, no buts.” He hummed, letting his fingers draw small circles on your skin. “Just listen to my heartbeat. Don’t focus on anything else.”

Taking a deep breath, you followed what he said, even though you were fighting the urge to run. You hadn’t had contact like this with Jax since before you broke up with him. You could feel your own heart racing, but you ignored that, focusing on the steady heartbeat. The urge to go out and score was still there, but Jax had taken your focus off that. Letting your eyes flutter closed, you let the sound of his heartbeat be the lullaby you needed to drift off to sleep feeling safe in his arms, no matter how much you hated it.

Ten minutes had passed. Jax knew you had fallen asleep by the way your breathing had swallowed out.

“She hasn’t been sleeping, has she?” Jax asked. His voice was quiet, not wanting to disturb you.

“Not really,” Lana sighed. “Think she got a couple of hours last night.”

“I have to ask. Was it because of me?”

Lana broke eye contact with Jax, nodding slightly. “Yeah, it was,” she whispered. “Nothing could numb the pain she was feeling. She tried alcohol, sleeping, picking fights, but the one thing that helped in a way was the coke. She was constantly scoring it, it didn’t help that Lucas, her ex, dealt it. So it was easily accessible to her.”

“How long?”

“Around a year, it was when she woke up in the middle of nowhere, freezing cold with no recollection of the night before, when she realised she had a problem. I took over the club for that year, and whilst she was in rehab, not wanting her to worry about anything apart from getting through recovery.”

“You are a good friend,” Jax hummed, running his fingers through your hair, watching as you slept peacefully in his arms.

“I would not let her throw her life away.” She whispered, sitting on the floor in front of Jax. “Look, I know what happened between the two of you, just like I know that her reaching out for help isn’t easy on her. I think that's part of the reason for the breakdown today. Sometimes I think she thinks that turning to coke would be easier than facing this monster head on.”

Flinching, you woke yourself up as Lucas’ face appeared in your mind. There was no getting away from him. Looking around, you realised you had fallen asleep in Jax’s arms. Mentally cursing yourself for how safe you felt, but you couldn’t let yourself get close to him again.

“I’m sorry,” you muttered, wiggling out of his grip, pushing yourself to your feet, putting some distance between you. Fumbling as you pulled your hoodie and kutte back on. “Gimme five mins and then I want you all around the table.” You said over your shoulder as you rushed out of the room.

“Knew that would happen.” Jax sighed, running his hand over his face.

“You tried. That's the main thing.” Lana nodded, pushing herself up to her feet.

Taking a deep breath, you rested your head on your fist. This was a big step asking for help, but you knew it needed to happen.

“Well, now you are aware of my little addiction, I can lay everything on the table,” you sighed, not making eye contact with anyone. “I got into some shady shit, started dating this guy not long after I formed the Devils Riders. At first I thought we had something good, but then he started getting abusive. He wasn’t in a MC, but he was in a well-known gang of the area. We did one drug run for him, which quickly turned into two, then three. This carried on until we were doing runs for him multiple times a week.”

The room was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop.

“Everything was going fine until one night we got ambushed.” You said, fiddling with the sleeves of your hoodie. “Someone had been tracking our movements, even though we switched it up regularly. It was a rival gang, one that wanted to take down Lucas. I was more concerned about my girls than I was for the 15 keys of coke.”

You were fighting back tears at this point as you relived the memories.

“I thought Lucas would be concerned about me, but he flipped. He was more bothered that we had lost the shipment,” you sniffled, finally looking up at the guys. “He completely lost it, started beating me, telling me he never loved me and I was a means to an end. The club was now in debt to him. We were under his control until we earned him back the money and if we didn’t comply, he threatened to kill me and my girls. I couldn’t put their life in danger, so I packed the club up and we have been on the road ever since.”

“So when you said you were in trouble earlier, you actually meant you were in deep shit?” Jax asked, running his hands over his hair.

“Yuup.” You nodded, leaning back in your chair. “Which is why I am back in Charming. I can’t keep putting my girls' lives on the line. I don’t care what he does to me, but I am not letting him lay a hand on my girls. I need your help in taking this bastard down. I didn’t know who else to turn to.”

“We will always have you back, kiddo,” Tig smiled softly, “No matter the history, you were always our favourite girl, so anything you need, you have it.”

“Each one of you will have one of us with them at all times.” Chibs nodded. “I think it will be the safest thing.”

“That makes sense,” you nodded. Your girl’s safety was your primary concern at this point. “Arrange for everyone to meet, and we can set things up.”

“I’m with you.” Jax said sternly, leaning forward in his chair, resting his arms against the table, his eyes locked with yours.

“Nope, not fucking happening.” You said, shaking your head at him. “I’m not having you stuck to my side twenty-four seven. I don’t need anyone and definitely don’t need you.”

“I’m not arguing with you over this. I am not letting you be on your own, not until this bastard has been taken out.”

“Well, it’s a stupid idea, having both Presidents of the clubs paired up together.” You scoffed, narrowing your eyes at Jax. “That’s just a recipe for disaster.”

“It’s what’s happening.”

“Fine!”

A month had passed since you came back to Charming. Every day, you received another text from Lucas. You knew what he was doing. He was trying to get into your head and it was working.

You didn’t know how much more you could take, so you put a plan in place, one that no one else knew. This was your fault you were in this mess and you would not let this bastard take the clubs down.

Today was the day of the charity event that Gemma had put together, everyone was gathered outside of the clubhouse ready to go. Taking a deep breath, you tried to keep calm, knowing that today was the day you put an end to this nightmare.

“You all go ahead. I’ve forgotten something.” You shouted over the roar of the bikes. “I won’t be long behind you.”

“We can wait for you?” Lana replied.

“Nah, it’s good,” you nodded. “Plus, Gemma will skin you alive if you are late.”

You could feel Jax’s eyes burning into the back of your head. Silently, you prayed he didn’t stay back because that would mess things up. You needed to do this alone.

Killing the engine of your bike, you quickly jumped off the metal horse, rushing back inside the building. The sound of the bikes leaving made you sigh. You had around half an hour before Lucas showed up. Running back up to your room, you grabbed the notepad and a pen to start writing out a letter to Lana. Tears were burning your eyes as you quickly scribbled down the words.

The sound of glass smashing made you toss the pen down onto the bed.

He was early.

Quickly you checked your gun, making sure you weren't out of ammo, even though you knew all you needed was one bullet.

“Quit hiding bitch.” Lucas shouted.

Rolling your eyes at his impatience, you launched yourself off the bed, running down the three flights of stairs to find him standing in the middle of the shop with a sick smirk on his face.

“I knew you’d give in, eventually.” He laughed, taking the safety off his gun. “You were always weak.”

“Maybe that’s what I wanted you to think.” You smirked.

Jax knew something was off from the moment he woke up this morning. You were acting differently, like something was going to happen. As he stood behind the wall, he realised you were giving up, handing yourself to Lucas. He couldn’t believe it. The plan that had been put in place had gone to shit and he knew that today would not end well.

“Y/N, what the fuck?” Jax said loudly, cocking his gun, pointing it at Lucas.

“Jax, just go okay,” you spat as you turned to face him. “I should have never gotten you guys involved. This is my battle to fight, not yours.”

“Just think about what you are doing, please.” His voice got quieter as he spoke, his eyes softening.

“I already have.” You shrugged, reaching behind your back, wrapping your fingers around the gun.

“Oh, how sweet.” Lucas scoffed, “you turned to your ex for help.”

“Shut the fuck up.” You growled, not taking your eyes off Jax but whipping your gun out, automatically aiming it between Lucas’ eyes. “Because I will fucking shoot you.”

“Bitch, you wouldn’t dare, because you know if you pull that trigger, you will have bigger people after you than me.” He laughed, once again trying to get into your head. “You don’t have the balls.”

“Bet.” You smirked, turning your gaze to him as you squeezed the trigger without a second thought.

The only sound in the room was the gunshot as it echoed off the tiled walls. Flicking the safety back on, you brushed some of the hair off your face before stepping over the body and rushing back upstairs, knowing that Jax would have followed you.

The moment you got to your room, you grabbed your backpack that was kicked under the bed. The adrenaline had kicked in now as you frantically ran around the room, shoving whatever you could into your backpack. If it didn’t fit on your back, it wasn’t getting taken; you needed nothing slowing you down.

It didn’t take long to fill the bag, which gave you enough time to finish the letter to Lana. You knew Jax was standing in the doorway. You could feel the heat of his stare on your back, but this needed to be done and you would not let him stop you.

Tears rolled down your cheeks, falling on the paper as you frantically scribbled.

My dearest friend,

I honestly don’t know what I’d do without you. You have been my rock over the years, being the best friend anyone could ask for. You have been there for me through the good times and the dark shit times, and I cannot thank you enough for that.

But I can’t apologise enough for the shit I have put the club through. I should have never got involved with Lucas. But we can’t change the past as much as we try to, it just isn’t possible.

Today I have put an end to the nightmare. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before. I just wanted to make sure that you and the girls stayed safe. I hope with time you will forgive me for my actions today. I couldn’t take any more, so put an end to it all. You can all live in peace now.

For me, that will be a different story.

I finally put a bullet into that bastard's skull and I’m now on the run. I don’t know how long for, it might be for the rest of my life. But I’m gonna have people worse than Lucas on my tail.

I want you to take over the club. It’s now yours.

I know it will be in safe hands.

Thank you for everything.

Love you forever.

Y/N

“Y/N, please.” Jax whispered, his voice cracking as he spoke. “You don’t need to do this. It’s over.”

“Jax, it isn’t over, not for me, anyway.” You sighed, shrugging off your kutte, pulling your backpack onto your shoulders before letting the kutte rest over your arm. Folding the paper in half, you scribbled Lana’s name onto the front.

The feeling of emptiness you felt was unbearable as your kutte wasn’t weighing heavy on your shoulders. Roughly wiping your cheeks with the back of your hand, you finally turned around to face Jax.

“We can protect you.” He said, holding back tears. “I can protect you.”

“You can’t change my mind on this.” You said firmly, pushing past him to head downstairs.

As you stepped over Lucas’ body, you stilled, standing over the body. Anger filled your body just looking at him, lifting your leg up, you let it crash down on the centre of his chest before spitting on him.

“Y/N, you aren’t thinking clearly.” Jax shouted, kicking one of the tables over. “We can get through this.”

“No Jax, everyone else will get through this, but I won’t.” You said softly, placing the kutte over the counter resting the letter on top of it.

“What about me?” He said, finally letting the tears fall. “You have just come back into my life and now you are walking away again.”

Shaking your head at him, you stayed silent as you walked out of the shop; the glass crunching under your trainers. The moment you stepped outside, you place a cigarette between your lips, watching the world pass by as you straddled your bike.

“I still love you,” Jax choked out, hoping that it would be enough to make you stay. “I never stopped loving you.”

“I would've done anything for you to show you how much I adored you.” You said, holding back tears once again, and you turned to face Jax. “But it's over now. It's too late to save our love. Just promise me you'll think of me every time you look up in the sky and see a star. 'Cause I'm a space bound rocket ship and your heart's the moon”

Silence fell over the pair of you as you smoked your cigarette. You thought the hardest part of the day was done, but you weren’t expecting this part to be the hardest. You had walked away from Jax before, but this time was even more gut wrenching. You weren’t just walking away from Jax this time; you were walking away from your family.

Letting the smoke hang between your lips, you pulled the keys to the Mustang out of your pocket, running your fingers over the metal key. Looking up at Jax, you tossed him the keys, which he caught with ease. “Take care of her for me.” You whispered, you knew it would be in safe hands with Jax. Tossing the cigarette butt down, you ground it with your toe before slipping your helmet on, before turning the key in the bike's ignition, letting the sound of the exhaust echo around you.

Without saying another word, you flipped the kickstand with your foot, taking one last look at Jax before you sped off.

Your heart was heavy as you rode through town. You didn’t know what life would be like, but at least you weren't risking the life of everyone you loved anymore, and that was all you cared about.

Looking in the mirrors, you saw the “welcome to Charming” sign, a single tear rolled down your cheek as you sped away from it.

Charming was well and truly in your rear view now.

A/N: THERE WILL NOT BE A PART TWO

@chibsytelford @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @pumpkin-spice-hate @talicat713 @band--psycho @little-diable @jomariekirby @i-love-scott-mccall @pascal-reyes @fourthwallhateclub @withmyteeth @theysayitscrazy @rosieposie0624 @choochoo284 @meteora-fc @beeroses @princess76179 @darklydeliciousdesires @midnight-moonlight-and-mars @elliewigginton2002 @stillbreathin

#Jax teller #jax teller x reader #jax teller imagine #sons of anarchy #sons of anarchy x reader #sons of anarchy imagine

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lubdubsworld · 4 years ago

Text

The Devil’s own.

Jungkook x OC

Mafia Au!

Warnings : Non-Con ! Manipulation, Degradation, Shitty hero with no redeeming Qualities you have been warned. ( i mean he does get better but not much.)

Summary : Just Mob Boss Jungkook doing mob boss things.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

I wasn’t sure how long I stayed there , staring at the ceiling and trying to come to terms with what had just happened. It was revolting. It was nauseating. It made me want to claw my own skin off. I stared at the intricate designs , carved into the ceiling, the panels that reflected life and made the room seem bigger than it was. The scent of jasmine and rosemary clung to the sheets and the drapes in the room, cloyingly sweet and meant to arouse the occupants.

I wondered how I’d got here.

I had memories of satin silk sheets and bright lights. My father had always spoiled me, the best of the best only for his only daughter and I’d indulged in luxury to my heart’s content. More shoes than I could possibly wear in a life time. Every season’s collection, straight into my wardrobe whether I asked for it or not. Diamonds and rubies and emeralds set in platinum and gold , jewelry to match my clothes and even my car if I felt like it.

I shut my eyes in despair. I didn’t miss the luxury as much as I missed the solitude. The option to just not do anything. My father hadn’t cared enough to see what I was upto and everyone knew that I was betrothed to Jungkook.

And that meant no dates or party invites because after the third guy got his arm in a sling after accidentally brushing past me , word kind of spread. Stay away from Elena Gong or the Jeon kid will break your bones.

I shuddered. It had been an obsession, I thought vacantly.

Jungkook had been obsessed, even back then. I just hadn’t paid much heed to him. Because Jungkook back then had been terrifying but also ridiculously endearing in some way. He had seemed for lack of a better word…..insignificant. I was beautiful and rich, never lacked for attention and he was just one among the dozens. Even if I was betrothed to him, I hadn’t given much thought to him.

And Jungkook had taken my indifference in stride. He’d laughed and played around and I hated to admit it, treated me like a queen. Flowers, chocolates and gifts every other day . He would follow me around like a puppy , and I wondered if perhaps my dismissive attitude towards him back then had been a mistake. Did it push him over the edge?

My heart ached fiercely and when I finally willed myself to move, my body protested.

Every inch of me was sore and aching. My head because of how hard he’d gripped my hair. I sat up on shaky legs, fingers trembling as I pulled my shit up to stare at my body. Bite marks littered my skin, marring the smooth surface and I felt bile in my throat at the memory of his teeth on me. Finger shaped bruises were beginning to bloom around my thighs and I couldn’t breathe over the agony ripping up my insides.

I glanced down between my thighs, at the sticky mess of his release dripping down into the sheets, staining the sheets a murky pink. I shuddered, disgusted. God, I hated him. Where was my phone? My clothes were still there at the foot of the bed and I noticed the small door on the right wall. Crawling off the bed on shaky legs , I limped carefully to the bathroom.

I took Hoseok’s shirt off dropping it in the corner before turning the showers on.

The water felt like a whip on my skin as I sat on the tiled bathroom floor , a small washcloth gripped tight in my hand as I carefully cleaned myself up. I had no idea what the time was… It must be very early or very late. No matter. I had to get out of here and get to Jisoo. I swallowed, imagining her alone all this time. The doctors had said she would be up in Guilt churned as I quickly grabbed a towel from the closet and wiped myself down.

It took me another ten minutes to finish dressing up and just as I finished slipping into my shoes, the door opened. I glanced up, catching sight of Hoseok as he leaned against the door. He looked a little haggard, a black silk shirt unbuttoned to his chest and tucked into fitted jeans. I stared at him, watching the way his gaze roved over every inch of exposed skin, looking just a tad bit worried.

“The Hospital called. “ He said gently, “ They’re ready to release you sister. They want to know if you can come pick her up. The baby’s going to have to stay in the NICU for a couple of weeks.”

I groaned. Great. More bills.

“I need a job. “ I said miserably. “ Help me out.” I stared at him beseechingly and Hoseok gave me a look.

“you know the kind of jobs I provide. You’re not built for it. “ He said shortly and I shook my head, impatient.

“that’s not what I meant and you know it. You and your friends pretty much own every club in the city. Get me a job ….” I whispered, moving to stand in front of him and he recoiled.

Just as always, I thought bitterly. Coward.

As much as a coward now as he’d been ten years ago, when he’d pretended that he didn’t have any feelings for me. Pretended that he didn’t give a damn about me.

The throb in my skull grew in intensity.

My throat was dry and I felt my vision swim a bit. I was tired. Exhausted . I hadn’t slept in….how long really? I hadn’t eaten in a day…for sure… And I likely wasn’t going to be eating for a long while, let alone feeding Jisoo if I didn’t get a job right away. I had twelve thousand won to my name and that was it.

“Jungkook-“ He began but I was sick of his name so I growled.

“Fuck, do you want me to beg Hoseok? I will… I can’t … I need a job… Please.” I said desperately, staring at him and his gaze softened.

“Elena, stop looking at me like that, fuck.” He swore, turning and punching the wall hard. “ fuck.”

“Just help me get a job. I’m not asking you to give me money or something. You don’t even have to get it for me… Just tell me who’s hiring ? Somewhere away from Jungkook and his men.” I whispered , and the sheer irony of it didn’t escape me. Jung Hoseok was possibly one of Jungkook’s main men.

He ran his hand over his forehead, shaking his head.

“You’re going to get me killed someday.” He muttered, “ Fine. There’s a club down in Itaewon. It caters to cops and lawyers exclusively so Jungkook and his men usually keep out of it. My friend owns the place. His name is Im Jaebum. I’ll get you a job there , waitressing. Is that alright?” He said softly and I wanted to sob in relief as I nodded. Itaewon meant pretty close to where the bakery was. I could take the bus.

“Fine. I’ll talk to him and call you. Here…” He held out a wad of cash and I took it greedily, eyes widening at the 100,000 written on the margin of each note. This was a lot of money.

“Hoseok…”I said stunned and he shrugged. “ Get food and baby stuff for Jisoo. If she’s going to feed the baby she needs to eat well. Fruits and veggies and lot of protein. If you run out, tell Jaebum you need some advance. He’ll pay you well.”

I nodded, stuffing the money into my pockets quickly . I swallowed when my insides throbbed, aching something fierce.

“Thank you.” I said softly, staring up at him and he hesitated, before reaching out and gently cupping my face in his palm. I flinched at his touch and he recoiled.

“Was he… Did he hurt you?” He whispered quietly and I smiled bitterly.

“Wasn’t that the whole point?” I sighed, shaking my head . I hesitated . I wasn’t sure if Hoseok would listen to me but I had to try at least.

“ Can you not tell him? That… That I was a virgin?” I asked quietly and he nodded.

“Wasn’t planning to.” He said casually.

I stared at him. I’d always found him handsome. Beautiful. Perfect . And I wondered where we had gone so wrong.

“Do you regret it.” I whispered. “ All those choices you made.”

“Which ones? …” he asked bitterly.

“you know… “ I snapped. “ the ones that lead us here. You and me…. Standing here like strangers. “

“I wouldn’t risk my life for a stranger. Which is what I’m doing every time I help you .” He said quietly.

“So what are we then?” I demanded.

“Old friends” He said casually.

I snorted.

“Fucking coward.” I whispered , loud enough for him to hear as I brushed past him and walked away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I trudged all the way to the VIP room in the hospital flinching because that was probably a lot of money to be repaid , now owed directly to the devil spawn that was Jeon. I had grabbed a small meal on the way before quickly getting the bus to the Hospital. It was little past eleven in the morning and the hallways were packed with people. Sighing, I moved to the room where Jisoo was, slowly opening the door.

Min Yoongi sat on the chair next to the bed, gazing idly at my sister in law.

To say that I was shocked would be the biggest understatement of the century. My lips parted in shock, panic bubbling up inside me as I exhaled sharply.

“What-“ I swallowed gazing between him and my Jisoo, who was sitting up against the backrest on the bed, a tray of food on her lap and a small smile on her face.

“Lena!! You’re here!” She cried out softly, tears filling her eyes at once as she held both her hands up. I moved to hug her but my mind stayed on the man near the bed, his sultry feline eyes trained unblinkingly on her. I wrapped my arms around her, trying to get my breathing to regulate but it was impossible.

What on earth was Yoongi doing here?

“Mr. Min came to see me. He told me he knew Daehwan.” Jisoo said softly, looking sad but hopeful and I felt my heart turn over as I turned to stare at him.

Min Yoongi knew Daehwan as a target . A hit he had carried out himself.

But I couldn’t say a thing. Not in front of Jisoo.

“I’m only here to offer my help. It pains me to see you suffering, Jisoo. I know your husband would want you to be taken care of.” He said softly, his gaze still fixed on her and I didn’t like it. At all.

Bile rising, I gave him a glare.

“I’ll take care of her. Please don’t trouble yourself.” I said shakily and he glanced at me, lips parting a bit, turning into a smirk.

“You look… well rested.” He smirked and I flushed.

“Lena, come on… I know all this…this must be expensive. We can use all the help we can get and Mr. Min-“

“Please call me Yoongi, sweetheart.” Yoongi said charmingly and my sister in law blushed. I felt my skin crawl.

“Y-Yoongi said he has a spare room. I can’t stay in the bakery. And it’s not like he’s a murderer or anything. He showed me his card. He’s a lawyer.” She said softly and I sighed in despair. Jisoo was naïve bordering on stupid and I wasn’t equipped to deal with this.

As I watched she went back to the food, eating ravenously and I felt my heart clench. I could see the twin damp spots at her chest and I noticed the breast pump on the table. It looked brand new. I hadn’t even thought about things she may need after the baby, too preoccupied with all the hospital bills and medicines I would have to pay for.

Diapers. Baby wipes. Those little flannel pieces mothers used to wipe down the baby. I felt my head spin, turning to Yoongi who was staring at me casually.

“Can we talk?” I said quietly and he straightened.

“Jisoo ssi… Please enjoy your meal. And here…” He gave her his phone. “ If you’re done, just give me a buzz on this.” He showed her something on the phone .” Go on try it.”

Jisoo pressed down on the screen curiously and Yoongi’s watch rang .

He grinned as she smiled.

“See? One touch and I’ll be here yeah?” He said softly, and I felt like I was stuck in some kind of drama, glancing between the pair of them.

“Are you leaving?” She asked curiously and he shook his head.

“I’ll be right here, outside. Having a word with Elena. You can finish your food and I’m guessing it’s time for you to pump again? The pediatrician said you’d have to pump every two hours with the milk so… if you get it ready, I’ll drop it off at the NICU.” He said calmly.

Jisoo nodded, staring at him with wide eyed gratefulness and I sighed in despair.

Yoongi moved to the door and I gave her a small smile before following him.

I waited till the door had closed behind me before turning to him, furious.

“What do you think you’re-“

“I want her.” He said shortly.

I felt my jaw come unhinged.

“No.” I hissed, furious and helpless with rage. “ Yoongi-“

“Don’t make me put a bullet in your head for this, Elena.” He said calmly and I exhaled shakily.

“She’s… You know she’s not like us. She doesn’t know anything about this life. As far as she knows my brother was a surgeon who got killed in a hit and run. You want to …. What do you really want? Did Jungkook put you upto this?”

“If Jungkook would have his way, your sister in law and your new nephew would both be dead. You know this.” Yoongi said casually. God, could I ever have a conversation with anyone without Jungkook being dragged into it? When did my life get twined so intimately with him?

“Where is he?” I asked quickly and Yoongi shrugged.

“He’s out of the country. He left an hour ago.”

“Switzerland….” I said before thinking and Yoongi stiffened.

“How did you know?” He demanded and I froze.

“I… I overheard …..someone.” I muttered and Yoongi moved so fast I barely caught it. The next second I was pressed up against the wall, his forearm pressing into my throat and holding me down while he held a knife right against my jugular.

“Nice try. Now the truth.” He hissed.

“Ouch..” I choked out , coughing a bit. “ Fine.. Hoseok.. Hoseok told me.”

Yoongi pulled back.

“You fukcing him?” He asked casually and I glared at him.

“none of your business.” I snapped.

He laughed at that.

“I know you aren’t. Hoseok loves his dick too much to risk having it castrated.”

I sighed, shaking my head. I wasn’t here to talk about these bastards.

“Just leave Jisoo alone.” I said quietly and Yoongi sighed.

“What are you going to do with her, Elena. You can barely afford to feed yourself. You should be thankful I’m taking her off your hands.”

I ignored his nonsense and moved till I was pressed up against him, fingers curling into his chest. Yoongi looked surprised, lips twisting in displeasure when I blinked up at him.

“please.. Yoongi…” I begged, “ Don’t do this to me.” I said quietly. “ I … she’s all I have… She… My brother had nothing to do with any of this. You know that….He left this life decades ago. I don’t… I don’t know why Jungkook wanted him dead in the first place. I loved my brother and my brother loved his wife. I owe it to him … Please…just…Please leave her alone.” I whispered softly, letting my fingers drop to grip his arm.

He tugged his arm away at once.

“ She needs more than empty platitudes and good intentions. She needs food and a place to stay with her baby. I’m giving her that.”

“And what do you get in return?” I demanded angrily. “ She just gave birth, fuck you. You can’t touch her , not unless you’ve lost the last shreds of humanity in that conscience of yours.”

He rolled his eyes.

“I’m not doing this for sex, Elena. If I wanted easy pussy, I would have come to you…” He smirked. “ Don’t forget that Jungkook and I share our toys, yeah?”

I opened my mouth to retort before remembering that I was trying to get him to listen to him.

“Then why? What do you want…tell me?”

“I told you. I want her. As she is.” Yoongi shrugged.

“You killed her husband.” I said , voice shaking as I remembered what Jungkook had said. About my brother begging for his life because Jisoo was pregnant. And how Yoongi hadn’t given a shit and shot him anyway.

“A minor inconvenience. Trust me if I’d seen her before I killed him…” He sighed, shaking his head in regret and I frowned.

“You would have spared him? “ I asked bitterly and Yoongi laughed.

“No.. I would have killed him sooner.” He smirked. “ Is there a point to this whole conversation… I’m getting bored and Jisoo’s waiting inside.”

“We’re supposed to get her out of the hospital today and-“

“I’m taking her home.” He said briskly. “ I’ve already spoken to her. And She’s agreed that a ramshackle , dilapidated bakery isn’t the right place for a new mother and a tiny baby.”

And the worst part was that I couldn’t even disagree.

And I couldn’t help but feel angry, betrayed. Jisoo was…. How could she? She hadn’t even bothered to talk to me about it… Just agreeing to move in with Yoongi. She was older than me. Supposed to be the smart one. My body ached. If that was the bed she was going to make , she could lie on it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Going somewhere?” Jungkook’s voice made me freeze.

I swallowed, straightening and stepping back almost instinctively. He stood in the doorway, a cigarette held between his teeth as he stared at me . He looked like he’d showered as well, hair still damp and the smells of citrus and mint permeating the air around him.

It was exactly ten days since I’d last seen him and I’d settled into a routine of sorts. Im Jaebum’s bar, Venom was an exclusive club in Itaewon and I could easily disappear into the shadows, staying low and using the beret ( a part of the uniform ) to keep my face hidden as I served the patrons. Like Hoseok had said, the place was filled with cops and lawyers. Yoongi was a frequent fixture here , stopping for just a drink on most days before heading home to my sister in law.

It made me sick but there was nothing I could do about it. Jisoo and little baby Yunsu were both home and needed a l,ot of care. And Yoongi apparently had a cook, a housekeeper and a nanny who helped her out. Jisoo was wary, her senses finally returning but she was also clearly glad to be out of the streets.

“I’m going home after I finish my shift. “ I said softly, trying not to stare as he stepped into the room. I turned away from him moving to the shelves and pushing the small canister in place.

“Where’s home?” He asked casually. I flinched when he stepped right behind me, fingers reaching out to curl on my shoulder, pulling me back till I was flush against his chest. The heat of his body seeped in through the thin fabric of my blouse and I felt my body heat up.

“You got what you wanted.” I said shakily. “ Let me go.” I whispered, dropping the cleaning cloth in the tray on the lower shelves, before moving to grab the mop. I just had to finish mopping the floor . And then I could leave.

But his grip on me stayed firm. I couldn’t move. Foreboding rose inside me.

Jungkook hummed at that, stepping closer, till I felt his chin brush the top of my head as he bent over me, arms coming around me and fingers lightly unbuttoning the first two buttons of my shirt. I stared at the dark ink on his forearm. , swallowing as he kept coming closer.

“What I wanted? That pathetic little display ten days ago?” He whispered softly “ Just think about this Elena …… I’ve been chasing you for years, I got rid of your entire family and yet I let you live. Why do you think that was, huh? “ He shook his head, “ For two minutes of you lying underneath me like a frigid bitch? You think that’s what I want Elena? Think I’ll be satisfied with that? ” He laughed.

I stared at the wall in front of me and I couldn’t do this. Couldn’t play this sick game with him. Not when he kept changing the rules . Not when there was nothing left for me to gamble or lose.

“Jisoo. I have to go see her. Just… Just let me go see her. I need to see if she’s alright and then we can talk. ” I whispered. Jungkook smiled, tilting my head to the side with his fingers. I felt the damp press of his lips against my jaw and my skin crawled.

“Don’t worry, Yoongi’s taking care of her.” He whispered softly and I felt my heart turn over in my chest at the reminder. I’d been forced to relent because Yoongi had taken her home to a fully finished and decorated nursery , a closet full of baby clothes for her son and nursing clothes for her. She had been bowled over and when I’d told her to think about the why of it…she’d given me a helpless sort of smile. . As far as she was concerned , Yoongi had been nothing but generous and kind… And she wasn’t going to say no to him because she couldn’t afford to..

“I… he promised me he’d let me see her. And the baby…every day. That was the deal.”

Jungkook laughed.

“I thought I made this clear . You don’t get to make deals with anyone because you belong to me. I get to decide what happens to you. Anytime. Anywhere. Do you need another demonstration , Elena?” His hand moved to my breast, groping the flesh, fingers rough and hard and I whimpered in pain.

“No..” I choked out , eyes widening in terror and he made quick work of the rest of the buttons on my blouse. Junkook hummed, kissing the back of my neck and slowly turning me around in his arms.

“Relax. You don’t have a job. How are you going to feed her and the kid? Yoongi isn’t like me. He doesn’t hold a lot of grudges. And for some reason he seems to have a hard on for your sister in law. He wants to marry her. ” He chuckled and I felt nausea bloom.

“No.. Don’t… Don’t do that to her. She’s not like us. She doesn’t know… She doesn’t have anything to do with this life.” I begged, heart racing at the thought of Jisoo, helpless and scared and alone with a baby , trapped with a fucking assassin. Yoongi killed for a living . That was his job. Jisoo was delicate and sensitive.

“She still needs to eat and live right? With what? He’s feeling particularly generous so he’s taken her home . You don’t have to worry about them anymore… Isn’t that nice?” he smirked and I felt my throat go dry.

I clenched my fists, feeling my breath catch.

“The only person you need to worry about yourself is yourself. Isn’t that how you prefer it anyway? Beautiful selfish Elena who never gave a fuck about anyone but herself. Isn’t that who you truly are, angel?” He smiled.

“Not anyone…. Just you… I don’t give a fuck about you.” I said defiantly, staring right up at him.

Jungkook stared at me and stepped closer, reaching out and running his fingers up and down my cheek. I flinched because he still held the lit cigarette.

“None at all?” He asked curiously, lightly tapping on the end of the cigarette, and I flinched when the hot ash spilled onto my shoulder.

“Did that hurt, baby?” He whispered, leaning in and pressing the cigarette to my lips.” I’m sorry. Breathe in for me.” He stuck the cigarette into my mouth and I pulled away , coughing and disgusted.

I closed my eyes as his free hand went to my wrist, tugging me closer. I stiffened as he wrapped his arms around me, drawing me in till my face pressed against his chest, his body flush against mine, one hand moving back to stroke my back.

“I missed you. You’re terrible at pleasing me but I think…with a little bit of training, you can make me cum… ” He smirked. “ Let’s start with a blowjob, yeah?”

I stiffened.

“No.” I said softly and he smirked, pulling back.

“No?” He asked softly. . I felt my throat go dry in fear as I noticed the way his gaze shifted. I bit my lips to stifle the pain as He carefully pressed the lit end of the cigarette right against the curve of my breast , pressing in for a couple of seconds and pulling away just before the skin began to singe. He glanced up at me, and I blinked through the tears, pain spreading all over my chest at the burn. That would leave a scar, I thought miserably.

“Wrong answer. Try again.” He whispered.

“Go to Hell.” I choked out.

I flinched when his fingers slipped up into my hair, gripping hard. My scalp burned, sharp and insistent and instinct made me grip his wrist, trying to get him off but it was impossible.

“Let me go..” I snapped, glaring at him. God, How I hated him.

“Was I your first??” He whispered, dragging me close enough that his lips brushed my ear. “ Never had a cock before? Was that why you were so fucking tight?”

I bit my lips, glaring at him, defiant and furious. Did Hoseok actually tell him? That two faced snake…. God , why did these fuckers never leave me alone?

“Seokjin hyung told me…Told me he was looking forward to breaking a virgin and that made me think….God, I was the first cock she ever had….” He hummed, looking infinitely pleased.

“Yes. And I got to say… I don’t know what the fuss is about. You couldn’t even make me cum.” I snapped and Jungkook grinned, grip tightening and the other hand moving to curl around my waist, squeezing hard.

“Did I make you bleed from between your legs Elena? Tell me I did….Cause that’s fucking hot. ” He whispered, voice low and gruff.

Jungkook, I thought vacantly, was a psychopath.

“Go to Lisa. Go fuck her and make her bleed if that’s what gets you off…. and leave me alone.” I whispered and he smiled, bending down pressing a kiss right where he’d burned my skin.

“I don’t need you to tell me that. She’s my fiancé. The woman I’m going to marry. And you know what that means? I actually give a shit whether she cums or not. And trust me she does. Multiple times. Sometimes so hard she passes out.”

“Or maybe she fakes it. Maybe she passes out because she can’t stand your touch either.” I shrugged. “ Because we all know that’s what she’s good at Jungkook. She faked her friendship with me , she’ll fake her loyalty to you.”

“Always got something smart to say, huh Elena? Let’s see how mouthy you get when I’m shoving my cock down your throat.”

I flinched when he pushed me, hard enough to send me sprawling on the floor. I caught myself with difficulty , throwing my hands out to keep my head from hitting the floor. I flinched at the pain that shot up my body, every inch throbbing because of how rough this fucker had been with me.

Ten days and the aftermath of that night still lingered on me.

And it was three in the morning and I’d spent eight hours on my feet bussing tables , I was exhausted.

I closed my eyes, before pressing my palm against the floor, trying to pull myself up when I felt the press of his shoe at the base of my spine, pushing me down.

I whimpered in shock, my hands giving out and shoulder crashing down into the floor.

“Stay down for a second, baby.” He whispered and I exhaled.

I pressed my palm against the floor, head dropping on to the carpeted floor . I whimpered when I felt him crouch down, foot digging in harder into my back and I curled my fingers into the carpet to swallow the pained sound that bubbled up in my throat.

“I’m going to fuck you again. And this time I want you to do all the work.” Jungkook’s voice came from over me and I flinched. I considered the odds of me putting up a fight and actually winning. It was laughable. I wasn’t going to fight a force of nature. And that was what Jeon Jungkook was.

“ You can’t make me do anything Jungkook.” I whispered finally. “ You can hit me and rape me and kill me but you can’t make me do anything to you. You just have to live with that.”

His foot lifted off my spine and I felt hands on my arms, pulling me up till I was kneeling. I watched as he moved around to stand in front of me.

“Look at me.” He said carefully.” From now you only speak when I tell you to.”

“ Whatever. Let’s get this over with so I can go see my sister and my nephew.“ I said shakily.

He sighed deeply at that, shaking his head.

“See, if it was upto me, I’d just put a bullet in both their heads. Cos at this point they’re just proving to be a nuisance.”

My blood turned to ice in my veins.

“ But, Yoongi’s just getting to know your pretty little Jisoo…And he’s my favorite hyung. So I’m going to let her live. But, let’s not invade their privacy for a while.” He began unbuckling his belt and I felt nausea rise inside me.

“Jungkook?” The voice came from the door and I stiffened. Jungkook groaned.

“Baby, what the fuck are you doing here?” He said gruffly, standing up and using his knee to push me out of the way roughly. I swore, gripping the edge of the table near me to steady myself before turning around to stare at the woman at the door. I stumbled to my feet, still feeling a little out of it. I needed food. Before I collapsed in a heap on the floor.

“You were supposed to come see me tonight. I went looking for you everywhere and I find you here about to get with some common whore?” she shouted and I stiffened, glaring at her.

She stood framed in the doorway, staring at me for a second before letting her gaze wander all over the room. She stared at me, eyes taking in the unbuttoned blouse and I quickly moved to put the buttons back on.

“Did you fuck her?” She demanded angrily and Jungkook hummed.

“Since when did I owe you answers, angel?” He asked casually and I watched the woman’s eyes widen, before her brows furrowed in a frown.

“ So what, I can’t ask you who you’re with ?” She asked angrily and Jungkook groaned , kicking out at the nearest stand with enough force to send it toppling over the side, crashing to floor and breaking on impact. I stumbled, back, wrapping my arms around myself as he fairly growled.

“What the fuck is up with all you cunts today?” He demanded, glancing at me in distaste. “ I come back after busting my ass at work for ten entire days . I just needed to get my dick sucked and you two.” He shook his head, hand reaching into his jacket and I felt my eyes widen when he pulled his glock out, releasing the safety and loading the gun before pressing the muzzle right against her skull.

The woman whimpered, hands held up as he tapped the firearm against her.

“You. You don’t come anywhere near me unless I send for you. Is that clear?” He asked sharply and she nodded frantically, abject terror written all over her face.

He turned to me.

“And you. You’re coming with me.” He said quietly and I felt my eyes widen. I opened my mouth to protest but the girl at the door beat me to it.

“I think not…. You’re not taking her anywhere, Jungkook, I’ll-“ She began, reaching forward to grab him and Jungkook moved so quickly, I could barely blink.

The shot rang out , making me jump and I watched as she crumbled to the floor, crying out in pain. I stared in horror, watching the hole in her arm, spilling blood all over the floor and the hallway and my throat went completely dry, staring at the girl on the floor and the blank, absolutely merciless look on his face.

“Just because I let you sit on my cock once in a while, doesn’t mean you get a say in how I live my life.” He said quietly, using his foot to prod her hip. He glanced at me and I felt my throat go dry as he pulled the glock back to reload it.

He aimed the gun right at me, eyes dark and heavy.

“Are you going to be good for me, baby? Or do you need a physical demonstration as well?” He tilted his head to where the girl was on the floor, pressing her palm against her arm.

“She’s bleeding out.. “ I choked out. “ you need to get her help, Jungk-“

Another shot rang out and I jumped, heart in my throat as I tried to understand what had happened. It took me a second to realize that he hadn’t shot me. That he had fired at the ceiling.

“Answer the bloody question Elena.” He growled and I flinched, nodding.

“I… I’ll listen… Just…” I glanced back at the poor girl on the floor.” Get her some help.”

Jungkook smiled a little. He turned to the girl on the floor and shook his head.

“Get up baby. Go find Hoseok and get that patched up, yeah? And don’t provoke me the next time, yeah? ” He said casually and she stumbled to her feet, looking disoriented and scared as she moved out of the door.

“ And you. “ He glared at me. “Finish dressing up and follow me.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Where are we going?” I asked nervously, fighting the instinct to just take off at a sprint, as we walked down the road to where his Mercedes was parked.

“My home. Where else?” He said casually and I stiffened.

“Jungkook-“

“Didn’t I tell you not to speak unless I ask you to, Elena? I’m jet lagged and angry. Trust me , you don’t want to piss me off now.” He said casually and I swallowed.

He opened the door for me, the polite gesture so at odds with what he was doing that my head began to throb.

But I climbed in nonetheless. I stayed quiet for the short ride to his apartment , eyes fixed straight ahead and Jungkook was quiet too. I was too exhausted to be scared, I thought despondently, my eyes drooping because of how long I’d been up. Glancing out the window, I watched the cars whizz by, people living their lives, completely unaware that almost all of them were merely tiny little gears in a machine run exclusively by men like Jungkook. That all their lives, spent working and earning and dying…it was all meaningless. They had no say in anything. People like Jungkook were the ones who got to shape the world to their liking. The ones who got to play God.

And Jungkook was definitely the closest to an omnipotent human I’d ever come across.

Powerful, untouchable and terrifying.

So perhaps, it was a little flattering, that I was the one thing he couldn’t get out of his head.

I glanced at him discreetly.

He was beautiful, I thought with a pang. One of the most beautiful men on this planet. Despite the years, his boyish charm was still right there on his face and he could slip on a plaid shirt , a white t shirt and stone wash jeans and pass off as an innocent college student. I stared at the taut jaw, the long column of his neck and the broad back. His biceps bulged when he gripped the steering when and my eyes lingered on the long fingers curled around the wheel.

I jumped when his hand moved to grip the stick shift , curling on the knob and yanking it back with force. I swallowed, thighs pressing together as my mind shifted to that night in Hoseok’s club. I hated myself for how often I relived it. And not always with disgust.

My fingers fell on the ring on his finger. His engagement ring, I thought with a pang. Lisa. Beautiful, wonderful Lisa who had been a dear friend . Once. For all her shortcomings I knew she loved the man who sat next to me. Cared deeply for him, even. Why else would she do this to me? She must have strong feelings for him , if it had prompted her to throw away our friendship of over a decade.

“You’re cheating on her then.” I said quietly. His reminder to not talk to him rang in my head but I couldn’t stop myself. He wasn’t a stranger. And that ring…the ring that promised to bind two people forever….. I’d worn it too. For him.

Jungkook didn’t reply, merely glancing at me in passing.

I sighed, looking at my knees, feeling my shoulders tremble a bit.

“Is she going to be there?” I asked quietly.

He exhaled sharply. I noticed the way his grip on the steering wheel tightened.

“No.” He said shortly.

“She lives with you right? You said we’re going home ….then where is she-“

“What is this, twenty fucking questions?” He snapped and I swallowed. “ I’m not taking you home to my fiancée Elena, do I look like a fucking idiot? “ He shook his head.

Before I could demand more answers, he was pulling over into a side alley. I watched as he carefully parked the car before stepping out. Second later, he was coming around and opening the door.

I stared at him, gripping the hem of my blouse, tight. My stomach twisted into knots.

“Can’t you just let me go?” I whispered softly, pride forgotten in the wake of my tiredness. Jungkook stared at me, face eerily blank.

“Get out of the car.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Like it?” He asked softly and I stood on the threshold, taking in the lavishly decorated apartment on the top floor of the building. I noticed the portrait right up front, a large full sized photo of me and Jungkook from nearly a decade ago, wrapped around each other in a hug , showing off our engagement bands.

“What is this?”

“It was supposed to be your wedding gift. From me. I bought it for you. Nine years ago. Thought you should see it.” He said quietly.

I stayed perfectly still , as he wrapped his hands around me in a hug.

“Why did you leave me, Elena?” He asked quietly and I felt my throat go dry.

“Why do you still have this place? Get rid of it.” I snapped. He laughed at that , pulling away and turning me around till I stared at him.

“ Will you stay here, with me?” He asked softly and I froze.

“You’re out of your mind.” I said shortly.

He hummed.

“Possibly. But then, the problem is this. If I tell you , you can’t leave this place ever again….There’s not much you can do about it, right?” He said thoughtfully and I felt a sob building in my chest.

“I… Don’t.” I said shakily.

“You should see the bedroom. Come.”

His fingers wrapped around my wrist dragging me past the lavish couch and sofa, past a well kept bar onto a wide hallway dimly lit. He stopped at the second door on the right, reaching out to open the lock. The room was plunged in darkness and I hesitated.

“Go on… After you, Mrs. Jeon.” He said softly . I could feel distaste creeping up my spine at the name, shivering a bit as I stepped into the darkness.

“Can you imagine, if we’d gotten married. This is what our first night together would be like…” He pressed against my back, arms coming around me , so gentle that I shivered.

“Jungkook…what are you doing?” I asked shakily.

“Shush…. “ He whispered, moving to unbutton my blouse again. I grabbed his wrists quickly.

“We aren’t married. I’m not your wife.” I said sharply and I felt him go still behind me.

“Shut your mouth and play along like a good girl.” He said quietly. He shook my hands off, moving to undo the buttons again.

Not sure what he expected, I stayed perfectly still as he hummed, pressing soft feather light kisses down my jaw and past my shoulders. His hands stroked up and down my arm as he laughed .

“Did you miss me Elena…..all these years…” He said quietly. “ Because I missed you. So much.”

He hugged me close, tight and hard.

“Are you scared?” He whispered, “ honey?”

“Oh, God…” I choked out, nausea rising up in my throat at the endearment.

“My wife…” He whispered, pressing a few more kisses against my skin before pushing me a bit towards the bed. “ Should I turn on the lights? I wanna see you.”

He nudged me towards the bed and my legs gave out when I hit the edge of it, legs turning to jelly as I sat on it, shaky and creeped out and terrified. Jungkook moved to turn on the lamp on the bedside table, a soft golden glow lighting up the bed .

“Look at you… so beautiful.” He whispered and I watched as he tugged off his shirt, before moving to his belt. He was watching me like I was something precious. Like I was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

“What are you doing?” I asked quietly and he smiled, running his fingers over the tattoos decorating his chest. He stopped at a large ornate tiger lily, inscribed right over his heart.

“Do you like it?” he said softly. “ I got this for you. My Elena…. As delicate as a lily and as brave as a tiger.”

I stared at him in disbelief.

“Either fuck me or let me go, I’m not here to talk about-“

He slapped me, so hard that my head whipped to the side, my face feeling like it had caught fire. I gasped, the pain spreading all over my jaw and I couldn’t quite grasp what had just happened. I pressed shaky fingers to the throbbing skin near my mouth, eyes watering at the sting.

“Didn’t I tell you to play along, angel?” He whispered sharply and I closed my eyes , shuddering.

Play along. Do it if you want to get out of here alive. ‘

Fucking psychopath.

“ It’s beautiful, Jungkook.” I whispered softly, glancing at him with teary eyes. He nodded.

“We’ll get one for you too. A wolf. With the initials JK on it…. Right here…” He lightly traced a path over my collarbone and I hoped to God, this was some sick fantasy. That he wasn’t seriously considering tattooing his initials on me.

“Strip for me baby… All of it. I want to see you.” He whispered and I hesitated just long enough to take a deep breath. I reached back, quickly undoing my bra clasp and pulling the fabric off. I hooked my thumbs into my skirt and my panties, tugging both of them off me, swiftly. I dropped all of it on the floor next to the bed, before moving to kneel in the middle of the bed, staring at him with a smile that felt physically painful.

“I’m going to make you feel good, baby.” He whispered quietly, crawling over on top of me.

“Lay down for me.” He said, and I felt repulsed, as he kissed my lips, soft and gentle, pressing in till I was flat on my back, legs parted so he could lie in between.

It was so different from last time and somehow ten times worse.

Jungkook pressed kisses all over my face, whispering gentle words against my skin that felt like acid.

“So beautiful…. Mine. You were always mine Elena. Mine to touch and mine to break . Mine to love and mine to fuck.”

I stared as he loomed over, his face inches from mine, his gaze deceptively affectionate, his eyes warm and almost soft. I watched as he came closer, his lips closing over mine. Instinctively I kept my lips together but his fingers curled around my thigh, squeezing hard enough to make me whimper, lips parting . He pressed his tongue in then , licking into my mouth and I brought my hands up, instinctively wrapping around the bare skin of his shoulders and my body thrummed at the feeling of his muscles under my fingers.

Curiosity made me foolish, and I found myself tracing the hills and valleys of his skin, fascinated by the way the muscles flexed, every time he moved his arm.

“You like that? I worked hard on those…” He chuckled, watching me curl my fingers around his biceps. He was so… big. I moved my fingers up to the hardness of his chest, splaying my palm on his pecs and my fingers caught a hard little scar, almost perfectly round and deep.

“What is this…” I asked , curious my finger dipping into the healed skin and he hummed.

“Your father . He shot me when I was chasing his car down in Jeju Do. Foolish bastard. Thought he could outrun me.” He laughed .

I glanced at him, catching his eyes and the ebbing laughter , my heart twisting.

“Then why am I here? You hate my father. You killed my entire family. So why am I here, Jungkook?” I asked foolishly, my heart breaking a bit and he hesitated.

“Because you’re mine.” He said simply.

I closed my eyes in despair.

“If this was our wedding night…. What would you say…?” He asked suddenly.

I stared at him, confused.

“What?”

“If we got married back then… When you were eighteen. And it was our first night together….. what would you say?”

I sighed.

“I’d ask you to ….to be gentle.” I whispered.

He nodded.

“Tell me , then.”

I stared at him, feeling helpless.

“Go on, Elena.” He said again.

“Jungkook…” I began but he shook his head.

“Ggukkie.” He said softly. “ Call me GGukkie… That’s what you used to call me …when we were young.”

I clenched my fists, on his chest, resisting the urge to push him off. That wouldn’t end well for me.

“GGukkie…” I whispered, finally, glancing up at him, licking my lips and parting them gently, eyes as wide as they could go, “ you know its my first time right?”

Jungkook’s eyes fairly danced at that and he hummed, leaning closer.

“Is it, baby?” He asked, reaching up to brush my hair away, fingers gentle on my face.

Get into it. Get into it and get it over with.

“You know it is…” I pouted, “ No one else can touch me. I’m yours , aren’t I GGukkie…”

He laughed, rubbing his nose against mine.

“That you are, kitten.”

Kitten? That’s a new one.

Shut up and stay in character , fuck.

I was so fucking screwed.

“ So… will you be gentle?” I whispered , “ I don’t want it to hurt.”

Jungkook wrapped his arms around me rolling over and taking me with him till I was lying flat on top of him.

“Then how about this angel? You can ride me…. As slow and gentle as you like. Make yourself feel good on my cock, yeah….?”

I stared at him.

I’m gonna fuck you and you’re going to do all the work.

He’d played me like a fiddle.

“Well baby? Go on…. Take my pants off.”

I exhaled angrily, before moving down, to tug on his pants. He helped me take them off kicking off his boxer briefs as well.

That’s a beautiful dick. Objectively. Very pretty.

Shut the fuck up.

“ Get it wet for me baby….” He said softly. I glanced down at the hard length of it, jutting out of the small thatch of hair and felt my mouth go dry . Which would be counterproductive if I wanted to get it wet. So I swirled my tongue around my mouth, trying to get my mouth moist, before leaning down and carefully wrapping my lips around the head.

Fuck, he tastes good.

I shook my head a bit to clear the voice in my head, glancing up at him with my lips stretched around the soft pink head and he was looking right back at me, eyes heavy and dark .

“Go on baby, take more of it in, use your tongue…make me feel good.”

I closed my eyes, letting the spit coat the hard length of his cock, sinking down till the tip began to inch down my throat. I sucked lightly, running my tongues back and forth on whatever skin I could touch and it was like sucking a lollipop except the lollipop was thick enough to stretch my mouth wide and hit the back of my throat.

I felt his hand reach into my hair, gripping hard and I whimpered.

“Be gentle…” I whispered, pulling off and his eyebrows shot up , clearly in surprise . He stared at me for a second, as though considering my request and then his fingers loosened , threading through the strands soothingly.

“I’m sorry, baby.” He whispered . I went back to sucking him off, somehow my natural tendency to work hard making me bob up and down, using my tongue and taking him as deep as I could. I felt a sick sort of satisfaction when he moaned in pleasure and for some damn reason I wanted to draw more sounds out of him.

This is a dream. Either that or you tripped over a pothole and fell into another dimension.

“ Are you wet ? Come here, so I can check….” Jungkook said softly and I pulled off moving up to straddle his hips. I flinched when he reached down, tracing my slit with carefully fingers before slipping in two. I tightened against the intrusion, still sore on the inside and he pulled his fingers out, bringing them up to my mouth.

“Suck…and get them nice and wet if you don’t want it to hurt.” He said quietly and I wrapped my lips around his fingers, letting my spit coat the slender digits.

When he pushed them back into me, the slide was easier , wetter and I gripped his shoulders, trying to relax around him. It felt foreign but also good… I felt good…

I stared down at him, the broad muscled body and the handsome face and for a crazy moment I imagine what it would have been, if I had married him. Would it have been this….this… weird pleasure that was somehow both painful and exhilarating at the same time. I bit my lips as he curled his fingers inside me, rubbing at some spot high up inside me that sent heat shooting straight up my spine, slick dripping out of me and onto the hard planes of his stomach like honey from a comb.

“Now sit on my cock.” He said quietly. I trembled, reaching down to lightly grip his cock, moving till the head lined up right against my slit or where I thought my slit was. Biting my lips, I lowered my body, feeling my body cleave to let him in, his cock pressing in and in and in.

My knees gave out and I slid down the length of him, the sudden, incredible fullness knocking the breath right out of me.

“ Fuck…baby….you alright?” He whispered and it messed with my head, the way he actually looked concerned and worried and I couldn’t take anymore of it.

“Please… Please… I just… I want to go home…” I whimpered, feeling full and stretched out, my thighs trembling and my insides wet and warm and somehow stuck between wanting more and wanting it to end.

Jungkook grunted, fingers curling over both my hips and lifting me lightly and with ease.

“Come on baby…. Ride me….” He whispered, “ Put your hands on my chest and roll your hips, up and down .”

I did as he said, one hand braced against his chest, the other gripping his shoulder as I tried to move on him but it was hopeless. I had no energy or inclination to do this and the pleasure was fast ebbing into frustration. Jungkook seemed to sense it because he growled.

“Fuck, you’re so fucking bad at this… Fine… Just lay there and let me use that stupid cunt of yours.” He snapped, gripping my waist and folding his knees just enough to brace his feet on the bed. I gasped as I got lifted a bit , his cock slipping in impossibly deeper , the tip nudging close to my cervix , the lightest brush of it send sharp jolts of electric pain pleasure up my spine.

“Oh fuck,..” I breathed as he pistoned into me, hips hitting my ass with brutal force as he fucked up into me and I could only tremble, eyes fluttering shut, fingers going numb from how hard I was gripping him.

“You’re gonna cum today… I’m gonna make you cum on my cock…” He growled, reaching down and pressing his thumb against my clit, rubbing softly, slow circles that were almost gentle compared to the brutal pounding oh his hips and I felt my mouth go slack, wetness slipping out of my tongue and dripping down my chin because of how excruciatingly good it felt, having him so deep, pressing in against the edge of my womb and I and to press my palm, right up against my belly , stunned because of how my body seemed to open and shift to make room for him.

“I’m gonna cum inside you, right inside your womb, fuck…. Gonna carry my babies for me, right sweetheart? Gonna watch you get round and full with my seed , watch you drip milk all over me with those beautiful tits….fuck…”

The shock of his words sent me over the edge, my body clenching down on him as I came, my orgasm so strong that I felt like I was cramping up on the inside and I toppled forward onto him, landing on his chest and bouncing a bit. Jungkook grunted a little, wrapping both his arms around me, holding close as he fucked me right through the aftershocks, body stilling only when I stopped shuddering and I felt warm wetness spill inside me, so deep that I knew I would have to swallow three morning after pills after this, although I was on birth control.

Because one could never be too sure with these things.

Jungkook stayed still under me and it took me a few seconds to catch my breath. I finally levered myself off of him, legs shaking as I rolled over and onto the bed before breathing in huge lungfuls of air.

“Can I go?” I choked out.

Jungkook grunted. “ Get the fuck out of here.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I stumbled out of the cab, exhausted and out of my mind with self loathing, I didn’t expect to see Hoseok sitting on the pavement outside the bakery, leaning against a streetlight, face warm but determined.

“Hobi?” I asked stunned. “ What are you-“

He cut me off with a kiss.

I stared wide eyed as he pulled me into an embrace, wrapping me in warmth and scent of his cologne, his hands impossibly gentle around me as he all but cradled me against his body, his lips moving gently against mine.

“Elena…” He breathed against my lips, eyes glinting . “ I love you. I’ve been in love with you for years. I’m so fucking sorry for being such a coward but you deserve to know… you deserve to know how I feel about you.”

I stared at him in disbelief, my heart pounding as I punched his chest in desperation.

“No… No fuck you… what are you doing…. He’ll kill you…” I hissed and he tightened his arms around me.

“I don’t care.” He hissed. “ I don’t… I can’t just… I can’t let him hurt you like this. I won’t. I’m going to tell him. I’m going to tell him to let you go or lose our friendship.” He said angrily and I trembled.

My heart raced because Hoseok was the only one I’d ever loved. In every way a girl could love a boy. He was and had always been this confusing breed of brother and friend while everyone had drooled after Jeon Jungkook , I’d always been drawn to him…drawn to his quiet strength and to the way he had always treated me as an equal…

But… but Jungkook…. Jungkook who would put a bullet in his brain without a thought if he thought that Hoseok was trying to move in on something that belonged to him…..

“Hoseok…just… Don’t. I… I love you too…” I breathed out, tired and scared and so fucking worried because what if someone was listening even now..what if word got to Jungkook and he tried to hurt ….i couldn’t even think it.

“Come find me when Jungkook is busy . When he can’t find us…” I said softly, reaching out and pressing my palm against his face.

“I’m not scared of him.” Hoseok growled and it was ridiculous.

“But I’m scared of losing you. “ I said quickly. “ We can’t… He can’t know. Ever.”

Hoseok nodded before pulling me close again.

“Was he too rough?” He whispered and I blinked, flushing. I shook my head.

“No.. I. No. I think…”

“I hate that he was the one to touch you, first. You.. You deserve to know how good it can be…. How gentle.. I want to… fuck…” He shook his head pulling away and I wrapped my arms around myself.

“We can’t…” I said quietly. “ you know we can’t.”

He glanced at me, eyes blazing and lips parted and I groaned.

“Don’t look at me like that Hobi…” I whispered, shaking my head.

“Tomorrow. He’s going to Jeju Do , to inspect a new resort. He won’t be back till the day after. Call in sick at work.” He said quietly and I bit my lips, feeling a bit like a whole idiot.

I nodded.

He reached forward and pressed a kiss to my forehead.

No self preservation skills at all, I thought miserably.

If Jungkook found out…….

Author’s Note : I’ll add the taglist here tomorrow

#bts smut #bts fanfics #bts fics #bts #jungkook smut #jungkook #bts scenarios #jungkook fics #bts fanfic

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starwell-tarot · 2 years ago

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hiiii its about the mars conj venus ask! sorry for responding so late i didnt see it

anyways thank you SO MUCH for taking the time to give me your opinion on it i really really appreciate it

i definitly see what you mean as the venus student person i have this HUGE need to make him proud he asked me to do competitions and i said yes but i really really want to be the one to get us the first place

and even tho ig he wont show it and he is always supportive im pt sure he would be disappointed if i dont win

hes an aries sun, venus and mars and im an aries moon and venus its pt wild

You're very welcome, love!

So my assumption did translate into real life 🤔 that's interesting to hear! As I mentioned before please make sure to not push yourself too much in order to satisfy your mentor ... I'm glad he's being supportive of you, though. When it comes to the fear of disappointing him .. well I can't talk much. I don't know if he'll actually be or your fear of wanting him always proud of you is making you think he'll be highly disappointed or mad if you didn't win. (Like some sort of anxiety projection. But then again, I'm just thinking it a possibility, not stating it the truth!)

That's an Aries bonanza! I can see how things are so wild. That's a moon to sun conjunct synastry, a Venus conjunct synastry and a Venus to Mars conjunct synastry... Woah 🤯

Usually I find an Aries moon is a little bit more impulsive and with more mood swings than the Aries sun. (If anyone wants to prove me wrong, you can!) So he might be grounding for you, in that sense. You two definitely have a very intense connection. It's very... Single minded. (In the idea that the relationship is very committed and dedicated.) With such synastrys, I'd think you're his favorite student 😁

The crazy thing is that when you first gave me this ask it got me thinking I've never had a Venus to Mars conjunct synastry where I'd be the Venus... I wandering how that would be like. Guess what! I'm an Aries Venus 😂 This feels fated!

With both of you having Aries Venus... I would say you are probably both very honest and direct. So my advice would be to talk things out, always. Instead of sitting alone with concerns and anxieties, voice them out. Upfront communication is always good with Aries placements 😁

It's fun talking to you. Don't hesitate to reach out to me again if you ever have any other questions you wanna debate or even just stories to tell. 😊

#astro observations #astrology #answered #anon

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youngmudra · 4 years ago

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Mars in the 6th house- Ok first off, i cant lie, this placement is a lil difficult. But it doesn’t HAVE TO be. So this person is in constant need of routine, organization, and discipline. It may be hard, because this person is drawn to the opposite. Chaos, messiness, haphazardly moving through life will be a downfall for you. This native is born with a lot inflammation in the body. Cool it down with a balanced diet and A LOT of veggies. And when i say a lot.. A LOT. Greens are your savior, worship them. But also on the other hand this person may be incredibly OCD. And i’m saying it as a short hand for being overly concerned about ones health or wellbeing through, delusion, sometimes. Of course i’d never diagnose you, Im not a doctor. But these people are prone to mental illness and it’s up to them to cure it. Whether it be reaching out to a professional or taking it into their own hands, at the very least they have to acknowledge it. Mars here takes on virgo traits. The nervous and critical energy that comes with virgo may lead to a hypochondriac. You may experience an ongoing feeling of impending doom. All of this is in your head, and then ,of course, it plays out as a self fulfilling prophecy. Which means: it doesn’t HAVE TO be this way. Meditation will cure you, calm you, and transform you. Virgo is no joke, this energy is inherently nervous and speculative. Mars in virgo is analytical and intelligent, likes to look at the rational side of life. But with what is rational, comes some pessimism. We need to employ a spiritual faith. A knowing, of sorts, that all is as it should be, and everything is ok. As always your mars sign will indicate how this plays out for you. If its in cancer, you may have a tendency to withhold emotions until the last minute, keeping emotions in is very unhealthy for this native. Exploding and becoming absolutely inconsolable, and justifiably so, as they have a million things to be angry at. IF its in Aquarius you may look for alt methods of curing or healing yourself. This is the healer that makes their own medicines and does extensive research on all types of healing modalities, these individuals may go to lengths and become reiki healers to heal themselves. Mars in the 6th house (not to be crass) sees most of the population as idiots, just walking around and living life with no clue. These people are incredible under pressure, surgeons and healthcare professionals are seen through this placement. Having a steady routine is important for you, even though, its possible, some may come along and mess it up. Incompetence is intolerable for you. It makes sense because you work hard to reach the level you’re at, and all those around you should embody the same level of dedication. These people need to keep their stress low, and realize that we’re only human, and sometimes we make mistakes. Although these natives constantly kick themselves for their own mistakes, take care not to take anger out on others in the workplace. This native is easily a manager, a boss, a sole proprietor. They make movessss! And, for them, it’s kinda hard to respect ppl who don’t have the same work ethic. I get it. It runs deep for a mars in the 6th native. Keep the body as cool as possible through meditation, leafy greens, and dedicating some time to connect with your inner child.. Dedicate some time for play. Whatever that means for you. It will make you better at your job and give you more optimism in life. You deserve it, you work hard, play harder.

Look up virgo int the 1st house, i’ve noticed that mars (carrying aries energy) plays out a lot in how we present ourselves to the world (i.e our asc). No one really tells you this. But astrology is a puzzle, and the more pieces we can put together, the easier it is to decipher your path.... (suggested path)

#Mars #mars through the houses #mars in the 6th house #mars in the 6th #astrology #horoscopes #6th house

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oftenderweapons · 4 years ago

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Sooo, about the ask thing. First off all congratulations I love you and your writing 💜 you seem like such a nice, intelligent and funny person. But was thinking what if namjoon comes home drunk and guilty about something he did and vixen comforts him. Love u💋

Title: Drunk (&) In Love

Pairing: Namjoon x reader (nicknamed Vixen)

Wordcount: 2.6k

Genre: crack, fluff, (also, vaguely allusive)

Rating: 18+ cause THESE TWO ARE A MESS FOR EACH OTHER

Synopsis: apparently Namjoon's stag party went a bit too wild. Mostly since he was drinking guilt away. What could that possibly be about?

Trigger warnings: swearing, consumption of alcohol, horny!drunk Joon, he clumsily tries to seduce his fianceé in front of yoonjintae (second-hand embarrassment), stressing over vows, mentions of kinky letters, they discuss future and the fear of marrying young and pretty much out of the blue and they be mentioning the idea of having kids. Also, watch Vixen being the caregiver.

Author's note: Thanking the sweetheart @ironicarmy !!! I love exchanging WIPs and Beta reading! It was so fun and I AM LOVING YOUR WIP SO HARD IM GONNA EXPLODE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! can't wait for it to be out so I can fangirl in public LOLOLOL; also thanking @dopesportsoperatorzonk for this request! (I got your feminism ask, I promise I'm almost done, I wanted to have a quite thorough view before replying and I'm still thinking about some stuff, but it'll be readdy super soon!!!)

Here's my masterlist, btw, and enjoy 💜✨

You weren't supposed to wait up for him, but it was like your sixth sense was telling you to do precisely that. And your premonition turned especially accurate once you were met with the sorry sight of Namjoon hanging off Taehyung's and Seokjin's body, grinning as he saw you appear at the door, head to toe smitten, only to turn to his friends with a sneer as he realised you were wearing his favourite silk robe. The deep crimson colour seemed to spark the colour of your hair on fire, and make the lineaments of your face sharper, older, with a kind of allure he still couldn't understand. “Little fox,” he said, going grabby hands while his arms were still around his friends' shoulders.

You tried to keep your expression stern as you looked at the two men literally holding him up. “What is this? Didn't I tell you to bring him home whole and safe?”

Taehyung lowered his gaze to the floor.

“Is this your idea of safe, Seokjin? I expected better.”

“You know him. He did this to himself.” Yoongi spoke neutrally from behind the three.

“Yoongi. Him being a fucking grizzly doesn't mean he can hold his liquor. Bring him in,” you said, freeing the entryway for the triplet coming in, Yoongi in tow.

“We should have brought him to the dorms,” he muttered.

“Dorms?!? Aneeyo…” Namjoon babbled, shaking his head, falling with his ass on the sofa. “No babylove in dorms,” he said with a hiccup. “Hello, little one,” he purred, grabbing your hips and trying to pull you towards him.

You blushed and slapped at his wrists. “I'll deal with you later—”

“Feisty brat,” he spoke sultrily, making Yoongi shake his head while Seokjin and Taehyung snickered before being chastised by your scolding stare.

“How come he's drunk off his ass and the three of you are perfectly okay?”

“He's the one getting married,” Taehyung replied, matter of factly. “And yes, he was the one who swallowed a bottle of hard liquor without even flinching.”

You glance at Namjoon with a scornful expression.

He did some very drunk, very clumsy attempt at a wink that made you inhale as you desperately looked for a crumb of patient left.

“You'd better go home, before I smack you all on the head,” you said, shooing them off.

“You'd have to reach it first,” Taehyung muttered, making Seokjin giggle, Yoongi rubbing his face at the verbal violence that was about to come.

“Kim Taehyung. I may not be tall enough for your royal head, but your girlfriend is my best friend. I won't say much more because I'm sure your friends aren't interested in your ass getting bruised.”

Yoongi smiled smugly at that one.

“Hell yeah…” Namjoon chuckled from the sofa, one hand reaching for the back of your thigh.

“No. Not now.”

“Later then?” He asked with puppy eyes before they turned into a very tipsy version of his intense dragon glance. “You’re so sexy when you’re mean,” he rumbled, a hand reaching for your thigh underneath the robe.

“Kim Namjoon, if you don’t stop I will unwife you in this instant.” Still, the other three men in the room were a mess of embarrassed coughing and teasing snorts. “You can all go home right now,” you said with a curt tone.

“You’re not gonna be able to take him to bed by yourself.” Yoongi cocked an eyebrow as he spoke calmly.

“Mh, Vixen, take me to bed, please,” Namjoon murmured as he tried to seduce you, just as you looked at him and replied, “No need to take him to bed. He’s sleeping on the sofa tonight.”

“See? I told you she found out! She has a sixth sense for this stuff! She can sense it! She can smell fear! I told you!!!” Namjoon babbled, grabbing your wrist. “Little fox...” he cooed, making a fool of himself.

“Go home. All of you. Now.”

Taehyung was the first to leave without even saying goodbye. He knew he would pay for it. Seokjin was the next, saying bye to Namjoon very briefly before bowing to you — just slightly. “I’m sorry for the inconvenience, goodnight,” he apologised, making his way out.

“Yoongi?”

He rubbed his neck. “I’m sorry. Really. I— I didn’t do my job.”

You shook your head. “This is a mess I’ll have to deal with.”

“You know you’ll kind of have to deal with him for the rest of your life, right?” Yoongi looked at Namjoon, head in his hands, fingers tugging at it nervously.

You followed his gaze, meeting Namjoon in the poorest of states. “I know. He’s my business now. Go.”

Yoongi left without much resistance after that, the door of your apartment finally shutting for good.

“I’m sorry,” Namjoon said, staring up at you as you stood before him. “I fucked up, I’m sorry.”

You placed your hands on his cheeks. “What happened, Joonie bear?”

He shook his head, lip going wobbly. “I’m so sorry!” he babbled again, eyes glossy with unshed tears.

“Oh, no, baby…” you managed to whisper before he dove for your lap, burying his face there. “What happened, love?”

He shook his head.

“Nothing’s gonna change the fact that I love you, big bear.” You caressed his hair as his voice confessed, half-muffled against your tummy.

“I sneaked a look at the dress.” You could hear his words coming out from a pout.

“Joonie—”

“Please don’t unwife me!” He cried out, his voice way too high pitched. “I don’t want to sleep alone ever.” He hugged your legs and held you closer. “I want to sleep next to you until I die.” He got even more emotional as he went on. “I want you to always pet my hair and tell me you’re proud of me and cook for me and be my sweetheart and my babylove and my little fox forever, even when we’re old and I get bald.”

You smiled and invited him to let go of your legs before sitting down, your legs slightly parted laying across the sofa. “Come here, big bear,” you said, patting your stomach. He did as he was told, laying his head below your chest and stretching his long body all over the seat. He struggled a little, his sense of balance temporarily worse than usual. “Soon I’ll be lawfully your bride. Forever. We’re almost there, honey. Just a week.”

He nodded.

“And then I’ll be your little fox until I’m nothing but ashes. And then some,” you reassured him, petting his lovely head, digging your fingers into the knots in his upper back.

“Writing the vows was so difficult.”

“I know baby,” you kept rubbing at his trapezoi until he released a relieved grunt. “I know that must have been really stressful for you.”

“I had to rewrite them sixteen times. Sixteen!” His hand absentmindedly reached your thigh and started rubbing small circles there. “Everytime, they were too long, or too cliché, or something I just couldn’t read in public because you know our letters.”

“I know our letters,” you confirmed, thinking about his messy handwriting on cheap paper, and entire sheets of words that he sent you everytime something important happened, everytime he had to travel for his job, everytime he just needed to make love to you on a deeper level. And then, thinking of your replies, always heartfelt, emotional, with fine calligraphy on expensive ivory sheets often marred with rough spots where a tear fell — most of the time because of joy and gratitude and obliterating, overwhelming love. “Will you read to me the other sixteen versions too, once we’re alone?”

He nodded. “I’ll read them all. I’ll write new ones every day. Small, simple, absolutely mundane. Stuff like, ‘I’ll do the dishes tonight’, or ‘Let’s go out for dinner’, or ‘I wanna grow old with you’ or ‘I don’t wanna watch that porn tonight, let’s just stare into each other’s eyes while naked and have the best tantric sex ever performed’.”

You chuckled and placed your hand atop of his. “I like the last one.”

“But I couldn’t say it in front of your parents, therefore I couldn’t write it in our vows.” He scoffed and shook his head before planting it between your breasts, nosing at the lapels of the robe until he could kiss your naked skin.

“I might have written something along those lines in one of my drafts.” Having this conversation with Namjoon while he was halfway drunk off his ass was extremely entertaining; however, you felt sad at the possibility of him not remembering this moment.

“What else did you write in that draft?” He closed his eyes, waiting for your soft voice to calm him down.

You smiled and slightly teared up at the thought, his chin propped on your chest, one of his thumbs reaching out to dry up a tear. “I wrote that I hope I get to make you smile every day and see that insanely cute and sexy dimple of yours every morning after you wake up. And I want to be the only one listening to your deep bedroom voice waking me up. And I want to listen to you as you talk to our children. I wanna hear all the stories, and watch your smile shine on their faces.”

Namjoon hid his face against your chest, feeling tears roll down his cheeks.

“I want them to have your eyes. I want to see your complete wonder as they learn about the world, as you teach them about the world in that grand and beautiful way you see it.” You sniffled and he cupped your face, kissing your lips so slowly, the heavy tang of liquor barely tainting the moment.

“I want to walk by your side, until we’re too tired to walk and watch time pass by, without worries, without haste. I don’t care where we’re walking because you were the place I was destined to be.”

Namjoon couldn’t explain tenderness or love or devotion or faith as deep as the ones he felt for you. He probably wasn’t skilled or trained enough.

“I know we’re young. I know this is more of a bet than an actual marriage. I’ve seen people who have been together for years part ways so easily and I don’t even know why you said yes to me. Sometimes I doubt I’m deserving and I see in how many ways I’m lacking and I ask myself, 'why the hell did she say yes to me?' ” He snickered sarcastically. “I wouldn’t have said yes to myself.”

You shook your head and kissed his brow.

“But I’ve been with other people and you have too and… I don’t know, sometimes I feel like this will take a lot of effort but then I hear you laugh, I hear you calling my name and I know, I can feel that that’s what it is supposed to sound like.”

You smiled at him, fixing your position so he could lay on you without worrying about smashing your body.

“I’m so confused and so grateful for this. It’s like… Suddenly winning the lottery. One minute you’re just a person and next you realise you’re going to be a husband. And you don’t know what’s going to happen to you, how your life is going to change, but with you I’m not scared.” He chuckled. “Well, I am. But you make me braver than my fears. And I know I could lose you any day. I could fuck up, or we could just drift apart or something. But any moment spent with you is bigger. It’s better and brighter.”

By now you were a teary mess, face drenched in tears, his arms around your torso as he held onto you. “My soul has found a home in you and I will cherish it. I’ll take care of that home. I’ll make sure nothing damages it. I’ll help you work on it if you want to change it. I will make more room when our family gets bigger. I will fix it when I can. I’ll stay by your side when I’m not skilled enough to heal you. To fix you.” He sniffled, voice hollow and weak as he spoke through a lump in his throat. “And I’ll leave if you ever ask me to.”

You shook your head and hugged him, letting him sob in your arms. “I hope I never lose you.”

“Don’t be a silly bear,” you comforted him, lulling him, holding him close to your heart. “I’ll be your bride. Your spouse. Your wife.” You kissed his head. “And your home. Your relief. Your dirty, secret affair. Your devoted companion too. Your goddess and your toy. I’ll be your friend. And the mother of your children, when we want to.”

God, if he wanted to… But first, he needed to enjoy having you all to himself for a couple more years. Just to make sure you hadn’t been both bold and immature and absolutely stupid about getting married almost two years after meeting for the first time.

“So I’m not getting unwifed for sneaking a peek at the dress?”

You shook your head. “It looks completely different once worn.”

“Really?” His expression exploded with euphoria.

You smiled. “Really.”

His drunken grin was back. “So I’m gonna sleep on the bed right?”

You acted as if you were even thinking about it. “You’re really drunk.”

“I’m soberer now.”

“And you embarrassed me in front of your friends,” you reminded him with a cocked eyebrow.

“Not my fault my wifey’s so hot,” he said with a slightly more accomplished wink.

“Not your wifey yet,” you reminded him.

He tutted. “Just a matter of days.” He kissed your sweet spot, on the side of your neck. “It’s only a technicality.”

You looked at him suspiciously. “A technicality, you say?”

He nodded and held you tighter.

“This technicality could still leave you at the altar, waiting,” you teased.

“Come on, I want to sleep next to you.” He kissed your cheek. “On our bed.” He kissed you again. “Where we’ll be making so many babies.”

“Stop right there, mister.” You placed a finger against his plush lips before you shook your head no. “No babies for a few years. I want you all mine, hubby.”

He chuckled and pressed his forehead against your chest bone. “Okay, fine, but I just meant hypothetically. You know, for practice.”

“Yeah, I think I could use some practice. I want to be perfect at it.”

He smiled and kissed your nose. If only she knew how perfect she is, he thought, haphazardly sitting up and waiting for you to help him on his feet, the whole discourse sobering him up enough that he managed to sit on the bench in the bathroom as you washed his face and brushed his teeth, as you undressed him and helped him in the shower, undressing and joining him, his body too tired and unstable to initiate anything fancy.

And then you towelled him up, rubbing body lotion on his always-too-dry legs before helping him in his boxers.

And through the process, he understood how it was that you loved him so much anytime he got you ready for bed. He should let you do this more often. Especially when he wasn’t exhausted or drunk, so he could properly enjoy being cuddled and fondled and babied.

What he didn’t expect was for it to feel so comfortable when you slid up against his back on the bed, spooning his ridiculously large body with your smaller one. “Sleep tight, big bear,” you said before kissing his nape. “Eight more sleeps and we’ll be married.”

He smiled. “Goodnight, little fox.” And with that, he caught your hand in his and fell asleep.

#kim namjoon fluff #namjoon crack #bts fanfiction #bts fanfiction blog #namjoon drabble #houseofddaeng #52hertz #thebtswritersclub #thetruthuntoldnet #namjoon x reader #namjoon x yn #namjoon x vixen

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wagner-fell · 4 years ago

Text

Mari kicked down the dressing room door with a bang so loud Kevin jumped and spilled his hot coffee cup all over himself. Hearing his yelps of pain, Astrid peaked her head out of the curtain, laughed at his expense then shut it again. Maria ignored that.

They strutted out to where the boys were sitting and struck a pose. “Can I rock cottage core or can I rock cottage core?”

Kit didn’t trust himself to speak. He simply nodded instead. While the baby blue dress with short, ruffled sleeves looked a bit out of place paired with Mari’s bulging muscles, she looked absolutely stunning.

The Merry Hoes were located in the back room of the antique store Kevin’s family owned. The Chu’s just got a large donation of vintage clothing. Mari had just gotten their pay check from the downworlder gym she worked at. Kit and Astrid really didn’t want to do their maths homework. It was destiny.

Despite being downworlders both Blessica and Kevin still lived at home. Mari, though, lived with the rest of their pack in an old Edwardian mansion a few blocks away from school. However the five of them slept over at each other’s place of residence so often they blurred together in the young Herondale’s mind. He could really only tell them apart by their smells.

Mari’s reeked of dirty laundry as they were one of four folks on the feminine side of the gender scale out of the lycanthropy of London, Blessica excluded. Her house smelled like Ube, a type of yam her Filipino parents put in everything. Kit couldn’t complain. Ube flavoured ice cream was the best thing he’s ever eaten. Aside from Mari. Though he wasn’t usually the one… Nevermind.

Kevin’s house smelled of Longjing tea and red wine. A peculiar combination that oddly enough, worked quite well.

Astrid had two homes as her parents divorced at the age of six. Stepping into her mom’s house was like stepping into a cookie factory. Which made sense as her mom owned a bakery and lived above it. Kit didn’t know exactly what Astrid’s dad’s place smelled like, let alone looked like, but he could make an educated guess that it was similar to the Los Angeles Institute because it was in LA too.

After they separated, Miss Yang fled to Devon to dodge the possibility of seeing her ex-husband when they exchanged Astrid. Kit related to her on a deep, personal level.

Now Astrid spent her summers in America and Kit drained his battery on international phone calls.

Her three months in the USA each year helped him bond with her better when they had first been introduced. For example, her ringtone was the Perry the Platypus theme song. Blessica, Kevin and Maria had no clue what it was but when the music reached Kit’s ears, the two sang an epic duet that put Kiss Me More (the second most iconic duet in history) to shame.

“How much is this anyway,” asked Mari, turning in a circle to see if there was a price tag. In the process she sent the fabric fluttering as she went. It made them look more magical than ever.

“There is no price on fabulousness,” said Astrid. She had on loose, black dress pants, a white shirt, and black suspenders with gold blemishes.

“Yes there is,” replied Kevin. “54 euros.”

“54 euros,” exclaimed Mari.

“Well it would have been €34 but you made me spill my coffee and this shirt was 20 so..”

“Seriously, Kev. I will fuck your mom. You think I won’t?” A pause. “Wait, only twenty €20?”

“Oh, I know right! There is this incredible thrift store down on Fleet Street and-”

“Don’t care,” interrupted Mar. She took one last look in the mirror before turning back to him. “I’ll give you your parents' price, not your dramatic ass’s one.”

Kevin rolled his eyes. “Fine. But it’s an extra €10 for the shoes.”

Mari looked down at her tan sandals. They leaned against the door they just excited to take the footwear off. “Racist,” she muttered under her breath.

“I’m literally Chinese.”

“Homophobic, then.”

“Pansexaul,” he sang.

Mari was silent for a moment before she banged on the door into the room Blessica was changing into her rose pink gown. “Blessie! Do I have permission to call Kev transphobic in your name?”

“Hey,” said Kevin, looking up from his task of rubbing a paper towel across his sheer, white shirt. “That’s cheating. Blessie, don’t listen to them!”

The nickname ‘Blessie’ was what her family exclusively called her. She turned red when they had first found out. Granted, it wasn’t hard to make Blessica blush. All she had to do was stand in Kevin’s general area.

“Blessica,” called Mari once again. When she still didn’t answer, Maria stood up and pressed their forehead against the changing room door. “You okay?”

“No,” Blessica croaked out finally. Her hoarse voice was laced with sorrow. Upon hearing her speak, Kevin abandoned any hope of saving his top and joined Mari at the door. Kit and Astrid were quick to follow.

“Hey,” said Astrid gently. “What’s wrong?”

Blessica began to sob. “The dress doesn’t fit right,” she whimpered.

“That’s okay,” soothed Kevin. “We have other sizes.”

“Kev, it doesn’t fit my body because it wasn’t made for my body. I just feel so ugly.” All the other Merry Hoes made various sounds of distress. Kit was instantly reminded of Dru,

He was suddenly fifteen again. In Ty’s bedroom as he told him of all the times she’d been told she wasn’t pretty by members of the Shadowhunter society. And all the times Emma or Julian or another member of her family had reassured her that she was. The thought occurred to Kit that maybe they weren’t Emma-y as Blessica needed them to be.

“It’s just like,” started Blessica, “I started taking Estrogen seven months ago, you know? And I still don’t have anything to show for it.”

His mind was racing a mile a minute. “Yes you do,” he said.

“I do?” she asked, sounding dubious.

“Your voice!”

“You do have a really nice voice,” agreed Astrid. “You could totally narrate audiobooks or something.”

“No it’s not,” grumbled Kevin.

“Kevin,” said Mari, glaring daggers at him. ‘Kevin’ in this case didn’t mean Kevin. It meant ‘Shut your mouth right or I will actually kill you’.

“No, not like that! It’s just…” he was blushing profusely now. “Her voice is like the rain. Most of the time it’s soft and warm and it wraps you in one big, wet hug. You can’t help but feel, well, blessed to get to feel it touching your skin.. But when it rains hard you feel every single drop land. But no matter what kind of rain it is, the impact is always enormous. Uh, yeah, her voice is like that.” There was a moment of prolonged silence, where Blessica had stopped crying but no one was brave enough to talk.

The door opened and Kit, Kevin and Astrid stumbled backwards. Mari didn’t. Stupid gorgous jock, Kit thought as she survayed her inferiourors.

Blessica stood in the open doorway. Her eyes were puffy and red. The dress looked perfect on her. Not that this style hadn’t looked perfect on Mari but their arms were so thick, they filled up the entire selve. Blessica was so petite you could see her bones clearly through the skin. It highlighted the flowness of the gown extremely well. “You guys like my voice?” Then, “why are you all staring at me, is it that bad?”

“Blessie,” said Mari. “You can’t just put on that in front of four people who like women and expect them not to stare.”

“Respectfully, of course,” added Kit.

“Just tell us if it makes you uncomfortable,” agreed Kevin.

“Step on me,” breathed Astrid.

“But then again,” said Mari, “you validate yourself too.”

“Run me over with a cement truck.”

“We can see your hot as fuck. But more importantly you have to believe you’re hot as fuck.”

“You could literally kill me and I’d get on my knees to thank you.”

Blessica was blushing as hard as Kevin now. They sheepishly smiled at each other before turning away. “Simp,” said Kit and he held out his hand. Astrid dutifully rewarded him with a high five.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I am on the trans spectrum but I am not mtf. If you are and you feel misrepresented please feel free to private message me or just leave a comment tell me how I can fix it.

@the-wckd-powers @book-dragon-not-worm @thechangeling @the-blackdale @ithurielkeepsgettingkidnapped @illusions-give-reasons-to-live @shelvesofgold @arangiajoan @maxboythedog @noah-herondale-lightwood @its-taff @cncnbr @sofiatheskeleton @thomas-gaypanic-lightwood @im-not-ruined-im-ruination @adoravel-fenomeno

Let me know if I left anyone out. Also let me know if you want to be added or removed from the tag list.

#The Merry Hoes #Kit Rook #Kit Herondale #mari the werewolf #mari machado #astrid yang #blessica reyes #Kevin chu #dru blackthorn #drusilla blackthorn #ty blackthorn #tiberius blackthorn #tsc

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atlabeth · 4 years ago

Text

talking to the moon

summary: dealing with the aftermath of the worst event of your life.

pairing: sokka x fem!reader but solely platonic. stan big brother sokka

a/n: this became so much longer than i initially meant for lmao. it was just supposed to be sokka and y/n talking but then i. wrote the whole death scene and a whole backstory and. im sorry. i made myself sad while writing this

wc: 4.1k

warnings: so much angst, death, mentions of suffocation, mentions of arranged marriages, one mention of blood, one single curse i think, lots of anger and lots of sadness but some fluff at the end

based on the song “talking to the moon” by bruno mars

living in the northern water tribe wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.

as a waterbender, it should’ve been a perfect haven. a renowned master to teach her how to fight and become a master herself, a constant feeling of power being around ice and water all the time, and a comfortable life as the daughter of two important councilmembers that worked alongside chief arnook.

but the only thing y/n had come to know of this place was a complete and utter loss of freedom.

she wasn’t allowed to learn martial waterbending simply because she was a woman. master pakku wouldn’t even give her the time of day, and when she complained to her parents they cited century-long traditions and told her that was just how things were.

y/n felt comfortable being around water and ice all the time, but it’s not like the power of the moon helped her when she hardly knew anything in the first place. it was slightly easier to try and teach herself new techniques that she learned from watching master pakku and his students, but it still almost always ended in failure.

and of course, her noble heritage simply meant that she would be married off once she reached the appropriate age for the benefit of her family. yippee.

but there was one benefit that came along with being the daughter of nobles that worked closely with the chief.

princess yue.

she was without a doubt the nicest girl that y/n had ever known, and they quickly became each other’s closest friends. y/n thought that maybe she wouldn’t like her because yue was two years her senior, but it didn’t matter in her eyes. yue showed y/n a side that she never showed anyone else; the carefree, energetic, loving side. the side that told y/n fantastical stories while they rode together the waterways. the side that encouraged y/n to waterbend whenever she could and to try as hard as possible to get the martial techniques down because ‘i know you can do it!’ the side that was absolutely fascinated by her waterbending, the side that shrieked in surprise then dissolved into giggles every time y/n soaked her at the end of the session.

yue was the bright light in y/n’s boring days, and y/n was a needed reprieve from yue’s duties.

the young girls didn’t know that there was so much coming for them.

team avatar visiting y/n’s home was one of the most exciting things to happen to her. it was like a breath of fresh air in the monotony of her life, and it didn’t take too long for y/n to become friends with all of them at the celebratory dinner the night they arrived.

y/n and katara instantly struck off. as waterbenders of the same age they already had a connection, but it was only strengthened the longer they stayed. y/n had never cheered so loud when she fought against pakku.

it was impossible not to like aang. he was even younger than y/n with an infectious positive attitude and a smile always on his face. he even offered to help teach her waterbending along with katara after learning from pakku, which was a great plan until it wasn’t.

her association with sokka came from her association with yue. he was infatuated with the princess almost immediately — it wasn’t a surprise, y/n was sure every boy in the tribe had a crush on her in some form — but he was also very kind to y/n. as time went on, they developed more of a sibling-like bond and y/n loved it. she was an only child raised to the highest expectations, but she was allowed to let loose around sokka. it also helped to see him make a fool in front of himself every time her and yue were together.

things were looking up for y/n. she had three new friends that all liked her best friend, and she was actually learning a little bit more about fighting with waterbending from katara. everything was perfect.

until the fire nation attacked.

y/n had been with yue and sokka when they saw the black snow and immediately rushed back to the tribe to warn everyone. that was how a fourteen year old noble girl who barely knew how to defend herself like y/n got involved in a fight against the fire nation.

after rescuing aang from zuko and, at aang’s request, bringing the unconscious prince with them, they started traveling back to the spirit oasis. y/n sat in the back of the saddle with sokka and yue, a new friend and her oldest friend, when yue suddenly grabbed her head with a small groan. y/n looked around and the world around them had turned red as blood. something was very wrong.

“are you okay? sokka asked, reaching for her instinctively as if to protect her from whatever was hurting her.

“i.. i feel faint,” she muttered.

“i feel it too,” aang added. “the moon spirit is in trouble.”

y/n’s eyes widened as she stared back at yue, horror dancing in her eyes as she shook her head. “no, no it can’t be. yue, you know what that means—”

it wasn’t hard to catch onto the fearful tone in her voice and katara set an amicable hand on her shoulder. “what are you talking about, y/n?”

thankfully, yue took over. “i owe the moon spirit my life.”

“what do you mean?” sokka’s eyes went between y/n and yue, y/n’s worried gaze trained on yue as she explained how the moon spirit had given her life as a baby. when she was done, the water tribe siblings were staring at her in disbelief.

“if the moon spirit is in danger then we need to save it.” y/n’s voice was hardened as they got closer to the spirit oasis, stretching her fingers out to get the blood flowing again in case she needed to bend. she didn’t know very much about combat besides what katara had taught her, but hopefully it would be enough to at least aid the rest of the team.

appa slid to a stop in the spirit oasis and aang, sokka, katara, and y/n all hopped off of his back and got into battle stances. sokka took out his boomerang, aang wielded his staff, and y/n and katara got ready to bend.

“don’t bother,” zhao spat. he held up the bag with tui and positioned his fist next to it, posing the very obvious threat. y/n’s eyes widened and her hands fell the slightest bit. he wouldn’t.

it turned out that he very well would.

y/n thought that they would be safe, that yue would be safe once he released the fish after iroh’s threat, but she should’ve known a man like that would never be satisfied. just as the normal hues of the oasis had returned, zhao let out a yell and blasted the koi with fire, plunging the world into various shades of grey.

y/n let out a strangled cry as she realized what it meant, and she wanted to unleash all of her fury on zhao. she wanted to make him hurt, make him understand just what he had done. but it seemed that general iroh already had that plan as he started firebending viciously, swiftly defeating the soldiers after zhao had gotten away.

y/n felt like she was in a haze, following through with her movements but not actually there. the four of them rushed towards the water and yue soon joined them, all looking down at tui in horror. the moon spirit was gone, dead, killed.

her worst fear had come true, and she stared at yue’s blue eyes, the only thing that still had color, mouth opening and closing as she tried to think of things to say.

“there’s no hope now,” yue mourned. “it’s over now.”

“no it’s not.”

y/n watched in amazement as aang merged with the ocean spirit and left to defend her home, but it melted away once again when she joined the siblings, iroh, and yue at the front of the water.

“it’s too late. it’s dead.” katara stared at the dead fish when iroh placed it back into the water. it truly did seem like it was over. y/n felt none of the usual power she felt at night. if she tried to bend, she knew nothing would happen.

iroh seemed to notice yue as she stepped closer and he raised his eyebrows. “you have been touched by the moon spirit. some of its life is in you.”

“yes, you’re right.” yue set her jaw and y/n immediately knew what she was thinking. “it gave me life. maybe i can give it back.”

“no!” y/n and sokka cried at the same time. y/n’s voice cracked and she had to do everything she could to prevent the tears from falling. “yue, no. you don’t have to do this.”

“it’s my duty, y/n.” her kind blue eyes, an image that would haunt y/n for years to come, glistened with unshed tears as she walked over to the oasis. this time sokka grabbed her hand to try and stop her.

“i won’t let you! your father told me to protect you!” sokka usually guarded his emotions but this time the fear in his voice was obvious, and it hurt. he didn’t want to lose her. he couldn’t lose her.

“i have to do this.”

y/n wanted to scream at yue to stop, try and knock some sense into her, hold the girl that she loved back from sacrificing herself. but she just stood there, frozen, as yue hovered her hands over the dead fish. tui began to glow, and yue collapsed.

y/n rushed over to her as sokka caught her and she fell to her knees. the tears were falling, she didn’t care, her friend was gone, she was dying. y/n felt yue’s ice cold hand on her arm and she grasped it with both of her own. her and sokka were barely holding it together as they watched the girl they both loved die in their arms.

“y/n..” her voice was already faint, she was using up all of her strength just to talk to them in her final moments. “thank you for everything. never forget what you are fighting for. i will always cherish our friendship.”

a choked sob escaped y/n’s lips and she gripped yue’s hand as tightly as she could, like maybe if she didn’t let go then she would come back. she couldn’t even hear what she said to sokka, all she could hear was the pounding in her head. this couldn’t be happening.

and then she was gone. the ice cold hand in y/n’s grip was gone, the girl they were cradling was gone, and in her place was just emptiness. iroh placed the koi fish back into the water and the entire oasis filled with light, and the energy around the lake turned into yue. she was ethereal. she was a spirit. she was gone.

yue came closer and wrapped y/n in a hug, feeling more like a gentle breeze than a real person hugging her. she then kissed sokka, and a faint smile graced her lips. “goodbye, i love you both. i will always be with you.”

and with that, she was gone.

y/n couldn’t hold it in anymore. she started sobbing, tears wracking her body and making it hard to breathe. she wrapped her arms as tightly as she could around sokka, burying her head in the space between his shoulder and his neck, and he returned the hug. they were just two kids who had watched a girl they loved sacrifice herself. what else could they do but hold each other and hope to all the spirits that they would be okay?

y/n left with aang, katara, and sokka when they decided to set course for omashu. she couldn’t stay at the northern water tribe. all it served as was a constant reminder of that fateful night, the night that she had lost her best friend. she saw yue in everything, and she knew she would lose her mind if she stayed. so she asked if she could join them on their journey, and they agreed. y/n felt a constant pit of emptiness and hoped that helping the avatar would absolve some of the guilt.

it didn’t.

“this is your fault, y/n.”

the blue eyes that haunted y/n so often appeared once again, staring back at her unflinchingly. there was a certain hardness behind them, a coldness that pervaded her skin, making its way to her heart. but she couldn’t look away.

“you should’ve been able to save me.” yue’s voice, normally soft spoken and kind, reverberated throughout the endless void y/n was trapped in.

she looked beautiful, otherworldly. the fabric of her dress floated around her at the edges and her white hair, the ever present reminder of her connection to the moon, flowed down her back. yue appeared the same as she had when she sacrificed herself, and it was the way she would look forever. y/n’s heart ached for her friend, knowing that she would never live out the rest of her life, never get to be the ruler she was meant to be.

she tried to talk, but her voice wouldn’t work. her throat felt like it was closing up slowly, and her limbs might as well have been cast in concrete with how heavy they all felt. yue’s icy glare disappeared from view, but her voice was still all around her.

“you did this to me. you’re the reason i’m dead. you should’ve been able to save me.”

the words repeated thousands of times on top of each other, becoming louder and louder that it was all she could focus on. y/n was suffocating underneath it all, she couldn’t take it. she wanted to sob out how sorry she was, tell yue that her biggest regret was not being able to save her, reach out and bring her into her world again. spirits, she wanted her best friend back so badly.

“YOU SHOULD’VE BEEN ABLE TO SAVE ME.” the words echoed through her skull so loudly that she felt like it was going to crack from sheer force.

y/n eyes suddenly flew open and she lurched upwards, breathing heavily, a scream on the edge of her lips that she was barely able to bite back. she clamped her hands over her mouth until she could be sure it wouldn’t come loose, and it took even longer for her breathing to get back to normal.

it didn’t look like she had disturbed the sleep of the others, but she couldn’t stay here. she got out of her sleeping bag and rushed out of their camp, making sure she stayed light on her feet so that the others could continue to rest. momo perked up as she ran past him, and y/n shook her head and raised a finger to her lips. he seemed to get the hint and went back to sleep, and with a strained smile y/n continued out.

it was at that moment that a certain water tribe boy groggily sat up, able to catch the end of a tunic dress disappearing into the woods after he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. he thought it was katara at first but a quick glance to his side proved that his sister was still asleep. it was y/n’s spot that was empty. he immediately knew why she was gone, and he got up to follow her; there was no way he was going to leave her alone right now. sokka didn’t exactly want to be alone either.

‘you should’ve been able to save me.’ they were words that never left y/n’s mind; at this point it was a part of her conscience. the princess had never actually said the words, her last moments had been spent reassuring y/n and sokka before she faded away, but it didn’t matter. she was constantly wracked by guilt, and though sokka did a good job at hiding it, she knew he felt the same way. she wondered if he was plagued by the same nightmares she had. it was no surprise it happened tonight of all nights — today marked one month since yue died.

no. since yue had been killed.

she might’ve given her life for the moon spirit willingly, but y/n blamed zhao, that fire nation admiral, for her death. he was the one that killed the moon spirit, so he was the one that had killed her best friend. she had never felt as much rage as she had in the moment that he blasted tui with fire.

she hoped he was dead.

y/n got to the edge of the woods and stared at the night sky, the slight breeze and the ambiance around her doing little to ease her mind. she sighed and leaned back against a tree, staring at the sky in hopes it would give her some kind of answer. but all it did was make her feel even worse.

i know you’re somewhere out there somewhere far away

yue was there. the moon was there, but yue was the moon so she was there. it felt like a cruel joke, having her so close but so far away. always within her sight but never in her reach. she longed for the days when she was able to pull the princess away from her duties to engage in a snowball fight with her friends or when yue asked her to show off her waterbending with the childlike wonder she never got to show or when things were normal and her friend wasn’t the fucking moon.

i want you back, i want you back

y/n felt the familiar stings of tears behind her eyes and she slowly slid against the tree until she was sitting on the ground. she bit the inside of her cheek so hard she drew blood in an effort to stop the tears, but it didn’t matter, they fell anyways.

the empty feeling she constantly carried with her got better over time, but tonight it was just coming back with full force. she was reminded of everything that she had lost and it hurt. spirits, it hurt so much.

my neighbors think i’m crazy but they don’t understand you’re all i have, you’re all i have

she pressed the heel of her hand against her forehead and squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block out her feelings, when she heard some branches snap. she opened her eyes and looked up, the corner of her lips quirking up when she saw who it was.

“hi.” her voice was faint, barely noticeable, but it was all she managed to muster.

“hi.” sokka’s eyes were sympathetic as walked over to her, silently questioning if she was okay with his presence. she nodded and scooted over to make room, and sokka slid down against the tree next to her.

they sat in comfortable silence for a while, feeling solace in the other simply being there. y/n’s eyes stayed glued to the sky, y/e/c irises reflecting the light of the stars. now that her sobbing was done, she just felt tired. traveling with the avatar was physically demanding with all the fighting and running they did, but this was mental.

she was tired of feeling worthless. tired of feeling guilty, of feeling angry, hurt, heartbroken, regretful, helpless, weak.

tui and la, she was so damn tired.

at night, when the stars light up my room i sit by myself talking to the moon trying to get to you

y/n tore her eyes away from the sky and looked at sokka. he felt the slight movement and made eye contact as well. y/n couldn’t help but think how similar his eyes were to yue’s.

“do you talk to her too?” the question came suddenly from y/n before she even knew it, and her voice was just as soft as before. “to the moon, i mean.”

sokka’s gaze turned wistful as he watched the moon and nodded. “all the time. even if i’m just talking to myself in my head, it feels like i’m talking to her as long as the moon is out. sometimes it helps. it makes me feel like she’s still here, or like she’s watching over me. other times..”

“it makes you feel worse,” y/n finished. he nodded again and she sighed heavily. “sometimes i hate it. just looking at the moon makes me want to scream or cry or yell until i can’t anymore, because i hate it for taking her away from me. and i know she had to do it, but the irrational part of me is angry at her for leaving. and then i feel guilty for caring about myself more than her when she’s the one that’s gone, and i just—”

her voice caught in her throat and the tears started to fall once more. it felt like she couldn’t even think about yue without crying and it made her feel even more weak than before.

in hopes you’re on the other side talking to me too

it hurt sokka’s heart to see her like this. yue’s death had affected both of them, spirits, it had left a hole in his heart that he was still trying to mend, but as time went on he had gotten better. but y/n had known yue for years, they had such a close bond that when sokka wanted to know advice on how to get yue to like him he came to her. and now her closest friend was gone and she had left her home and her family behind to help them on their journey.. he couldn’t imagine how she felt. but he wasn’t going to let her go through this alone.

sokka wrapped his arm around her and though she flinched at first, y/n immediately relaxed when she realized what he was doing. he was trying to comfort her by just being there, and she appreciated it immensely. y/n leaned her head against his shoulder and the two of them sat there in silence once again, watching the sky.

or am i a fool who sits alone talking to the moon

“you don’t have to feel guilty,” sokka murmured. “she doesn’t blame you for what happened and she doesn’t blame you for how you feel. i know that she’s watching over us right now.”

“you think?” he nodded and the smallest smile graced her lips. “she doesn’t blame you either. every time you hung out together she would come running back to me telling me how much fun she had and how she already felt so close to you, and how much you brightened up her days. she truly loved you, sokka.”

sokka laughed humorlessly and shook his head. “i loved her too. i didn’t think it was possible to fall for someone so quickly, but she proved me wrong.”

“she was good at that. proving people wrong.”

do you ever hear me calling?

more silence passed.

y/n opened her mouth and closed it again, trying to find the words.

“yue?” she started off timid, but her words gained more confidence as she went on. “i.. i don’t know if you can hear us. but if you can, i just want to let you know that i- that we miss you. not a day goes by where i don’t think of you, and i hope that you are watching down on us. because we love you. and we always will.”

“thank you for everything you’ve done.” sokka spoke up now. “i hope you’re at peace, yue, wherever you are.”

cause every night i’m talking to the moon still trying to get to you

y/n swore that the moon glowed a little brighter in the night sky when they finished.

she didn’t know how time passed so quickly, but her and sokka ended up falling asleep out there, his arm around her and her head on his shoulder.

and for the first time since the siege of the north, y/n slept without nightmares.

#atla fic #atla #avatar #avatar the last airbender #princess yue #song fic #blurb #sokka x reader #sokka x y/n #sokka #sokka fic #yue #writing

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kweebtrash · 5 years ago

Text

Kinktober #3: Face Sitting (M)

Pairing: Hongseok x 2nd Person Reader

Summary: Some kinda realer scenarios where not everyone can cum easily or have those magic orgasms but face sitting/riding may do the trick. Also Honk is excited for his victory

Word Count: 2k

A/N: I know kinktober is supposed to be S p i c y TM but idk, sometimes i just want some sugar, spice, and everything nice.

Kinktober Prompts by @immabiteyou

You always had a problem with cumming. You had no idea what it was but nothing, no matter how hard you tried, took you over that edge. There may have been some small tremors here and there and you definitely werent asking for an over the top bone rattling orgasm at this point. Just ANYTHING would be fine. It always weighed on the back of your mind, especially knowing that Hongseok tried his absolute fucking damndest to make sure you felt good.

And you did. The way his strong hands roamed over your body, spreading fire throughout your skin, always made shivers zip throughout. His kisses were full of healing magic; those soft, sweet plump lips could cure any bad day but also ignite the dirtiest of feelings to where you ended up clawing at each other. His body-well that was a given- the boy woke up and looked at his abs first thing in the morning, every morning. He was obsessed with being fit (sometimes too obsessed) and there was a prying thought of self consciousness that popped into your head every once in awhile. Comparing the way you looked on his arm to his being in general sometimes made you feel like you werent good enough for him. But that surely couldnt have be part of the problem.

Because here he was, once again devoted to your body and full of determination. He knew you enjoyed fucking, the act of being close to him in of itself was always special and exciting. It was just your stupid body that wouldnt react. It was like your brain was screaming in pleasure but your body was just like ‘meh, gonna take the one thing you desire the most and just not do it’.

Maybe there were a few traumatic things that had to be worked through, sure, but Hongsi was the only man you had every fully trusted to never let you down. He knew almost immediately the first few times you had faked it, and it offended him, but you explained the annoyance at yourself-which was a bit hard to say the least.

“I loved it. I felt great, seriously i did. The only part that was faked was…"the end.”

And why? Because you were used to it. Because it was ingrained in you to do it; always making the man feel like he had done an amazing job-except this time Hongseok actually had. From the first time to the most recent. He never failed but you did.

He wanted honesty from that point on. He wanted to work on things, try everything under the sun; from restraints, to wax, to toys, and positions that were sometimes almost impossible. But it remained a puzzle the two of you couldnt solve. Tonight didnt seem to be any different save for the fact that you had taken up residence on his face like it was a goddamn throne. His tongue was diving so deep inside you, filling you with a nice warm, wet, thickness that made the pit of your stomach clench. He had eaten you out before, that was one of the first things he tried in an attempt to make you cum, but it had never occurred to either of you to actually try face sitting. Why? Who knows. Sometimes the simplest of things slip the mind and perhaps the whole time the two of you had been overthinking it.

But with all the gadgets and gizmos and positions that made you feel like you were in a yoga class thrown out the window, you found your nails digging into the wall that you had been supporting yourself on. The scratching forced chips of paint to crumble from the wall though it was nothing compared to how fast the headboard was thumping against it. Your thighs were burning but you continued rolling your hips like it was your job. Hongseok spurred you on as he seemed to enjoy this just as much as you were. Perhaps he was enjoying it much more.

He was growling, sometimes snarling, as he paired flickers of his tongue with hot open mouth kisses to your heat and nibbles to any sensitive area he could reach, especially the junction of your inner thighs. While your fingers dug into the wall, his dug into your hips, your ass, your back, marring you with the blunt indentations of his short nails and leaving streaks of red in their wake. You were sure he had barely come up for air and the one second you pulled away to make sure he was okay he forced you right back down to his lips with his nose brushing against the bundle of nerves that had awakened with desire. You were feeling all of your lower muscles tighten to the point where your legs almost felt numb but it was all worth it.

Hongseok slid his tongue through your folds once more, the tip of it teasing your hole that you though he had finally given a break to. The slow and lazy drags, however, were making you shudder just as much as the fast ones and covered your frame with everlasting tingles. Your free hand gripped onto his sweat soaked hair as you tried to level yourself. Holy shit, was this really it? Was this really the time were it would happen? Oh god, you werent ready. Well you were- in the sense that you had been waiting for this for YEARS with him-but also you werent exactly sure what it would feel like. Would this be one of those tiny ones that just felt like a relaxing exhale or one of those wild porn ones that were so ridiculous? Were you really going to scream in ecstasy and feel like you were going insane? Hell yes you were.

“H-Hong,” you choked out as he suctioned his lips around your clit while his thumbs spread your lower lips wide apart. “I think it-it’s happening.”

His eyes flung open, wide and flickering with undertones of amber within the dim beside lamp’s light. “Whats happening?” The words came out in muffled jumbles as he refused to pull away.

“You know…it. The…the thing.”

He finally pulled away as bewilderment spread across his face. “You mean like you feel like youre gonna cum?”

“I-i think so? I mean…im assuming that’s why everything feels so tense, like im gonna explode. That’s what happens right?”

“I think its different for everyone. I get tense too, but then i feel all warm and get kinda snuggly and hold onto you tighter.” He did and it was the cutest fucking thing ever.

“Well im hoping this is it.” You sighed.

“Dont start thinking about it now or you’ll lose focus. Just concentrate on me, babe. Just like before, yeah? Can you ride my face some more?”

“You really like this dont you?” You peered down at him and giggled.

“Baby, you were literally born to sit on my face, i swear it. It sounds stupid and fuckboy-ish, I know, but Ive never wanted this so bad until i felt you grind against my lips.”

Red flushed your cheeks and you looked away in an effort to hide your sudden shyness. Hongsi just chucked and placed the gentlest of kisses to your clit. “On me. Focus.” He reminded you again and you exhaled deeply, letting your mind go as much as it had before. Through the painful numbness in your bent legs that surrounded his head, you pushed on, wiggling your hips in a teasing way that earned a small smack to your ass. The sting made you jump but feel ever so much naughtier. It kick started your chaotic grinds again which welcomed the harsh thrusts and lewd slurping. It was almost embarrassing to hear how wet your were from both your cum and his tongue but in a weird way it gave you a sense of pride and reassurance that this felt amazing.

More pressure built up within your system and you found yourself short of breath now. You swallowed hard and tried to recoup but it was all for naught as your heart thundered so loud you could hear it in your ears. You had managed to make the headboard slam harder against the wall, the top of the filigreed wood leaving its own mark in the paint much like your nails had. Your thighs tightened and you could feel him smile into your skin. He fucking loved the way you seemed so close to crushing his skull if you actually could. The yanking of his hair to shove him closer, as if it were possible at this point, also had him lifting his head as your hips dipped and the very tip of his tongue hit something inside you just as it curled.

And then you let go. Almost so fast from everything that Hongseok had to press his hands into your lower back to prevent you from tossing yourself back completely. You were shaking, your knees digging into the pillow beneath his head. Your hands that had found safety in the wall and his hair now flailed and searched for something to hold onto but it was like they couldnt. You had lost all control. Your brain was fuzzy. Your body was fuzzy. But best of all you felt wave after wave of clench and release with your first full orgasm.

He finally let you go and you collapsed to the wayside instantly curling against his side. He pulled you into his arms and speckled your head with kisses as he squeezed you tight. He was patient and waited for you to come down though he was absolutely beaming with pride. “That was…not how i imagined it would feel like but holy shit.” You managed to finally say.

“Fuck yeah!!” He said victoriously and he raised his hand for a high five. You couldnt help but laugh at his dorkiness and return the gesture. The excitement and happiness between you two was unfathomable. You didnt want to say that this was the best night with him just because you finally came. There had been plenty of other times where he made you feel so perfect and precious and completely in love with him that you almost cherished that more. But tonight was definitely like top five material.

“Im happy i could finally do this for you…” He returned to seriousness and you sighed as you began to wipe away traces of your cum from his face.

“Im sorry if you felt like i put pressure on you. I never meant-”

“Nah, it wasnt you. It was me. You know how i can sometimes be a perfectionist and i know its not like the end all be all of our relationship but…i dont know. I always felt like you deserved to feel good and happy. Like you just deserved…everything.” He shrugged and pretended to take more interest in plucking away a stray hair from your shoulder.

The guilt you had accumulated over the years suddenly lessened and you realized that it wasnt just about making you feel good sexually. It was actually, as cliche as it sounded, about bringing you two closer together in devotion and fulfilling a fantasy. The warmth in your body returned but for a different and cheesy romance movie kinda reason and you snuggled closer to his chiseled chest.

“Thank you…” You whispered. “For not being annoyed or giving up on me and helping me work through whatever was holding me back.”

“It’s what im here for, right? I think i’d be a shitty boyfriend if i wasnt.”

“Well you got that right.” You tilted your head up and kissed him gently, tasting the aftermath on his lips. “You better go wash your face before it gets all sticky.”

“That can wait. Besides i was kinda wondering if….” The both of you looked down at his cock, knocking your heads in the process. It never failed for the two of you to have an idiotic moment but he definitely needed to be rewarded after this.

#hongseok #yang hongseok #hongseok smut #pentagon smut #ptg smut #kinktomato #pentagon drabble #yang hongseok smut #hongseok fluff #pentagon fluff #ptg fluff #universe #idk what else to tag this as tbh

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