#How to set boundaries
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niggadiffusion · 2 months ago
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My Experience with Boundary DisrespectLowkey Last Nerve | For the Tired & Fed Up. Over It.
I’ve been through enough in my life to know when I need to set a boundary. It’s not about being “too much” or “too sensitive”; it’s about self-preservation. The problem comes when people think those lines don’t matter, that they can waltz right over them like it’s no big deal. Let me tell you about the time Roman and Phil thought my boundaries were just suggestions, and how that shit shook…
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humayrakeya · 27 days ago
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How To SET BOUNDARIES In A Toxic Relationship | BetterMen Coaching
Feeling constantly drained, dismissed, or pulled into arguments in your relationship? You may be in a toxic dynamic—and it’s time to reclaim your power. In this video, Wayne Levine, a life coach for men and the founder of BetterMen Coaching shares essential relationship advice for men on how to set clear boundaries and regain control over your emotional well-being. Discover why boundaries are crucial for your personal growth, mental health, and relationship success.
Whether you're seeking love advice, trying to prevent divorce, or simply want to become a stronger, more grounded man, learning to set boundaries is a vital step. As a relationship coach for men, i provide guidance that isn’t just for romantic relationships—it applies to toxic family members and friendships as well. Wayne Levine draws on years of experience in relationship coaching for men, offering practical tips that combine personal integrity, stoicism, and emotional intelligence.
If you're ready to become the man who listens well, stands strong in his values, and creates healthy relationships, this video is for you. Subscribe for more insights from BetterMen Coaching on topics like setting boundaries in a toxic relationship, marriage advice, and life coaching for men. Don’t just survive your relationships—learn to thrive in them.
#mentalhealth #relationships #relationshipgoals #toxicrelationships #marriageadvice #relationshipproblems #conflictresolution #healthyrelationships #boundariesinrelationships #bettermencoaching #waynelevine #lifecoach #lifecoachformen #menslifecoach #menswork #menscoaching #counselingformen #relationshipcoachingformen #malelifecoach #motivation #marriage #divorce #love #husband #wife #bettermen #loveadvice #relationshipadvice #stoicism
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suzie81blog · 2 months ago
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Protecting Your Peace: How to Set Boundaries and Stop People-Pleasing
For some of us, people-pleasing is practically a personality trait. It’s not always obvious at first – saying yes to plans, helping someone out, being the “reliable one” in the group. But when your need to be helpful starts draining your energy, your time, and your sense of self, something has to give. I spent decades saying yes when I wanted to say no.  That’s not an exaggeration. I organised…
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timikaschambers · 3 months ago
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The Seeds We Plant Series #24: Creating Healthy Boundaries
We dismantle the generational cycle of pain by shifting our thoughts toward truths. Hi there, Boundaries are often discussed after experiencing projected pain, but through consistency and intention, our children can learn about and institute boundaries early on. They can understand their purpose, their body’s purpose, and the role of experiences.  Listen to The Seeds We Plant Series #24:…
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kurtbennett · 10 months ago
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Boundaries, Friends, and Acts 22:22-29 (One big important amazingly helpful thing both Paul and Jesus did to help themselves set healthy boundaries)
God Running is a place for anyone who wants to (or even anyone who wants to want to) love Jesus more deeply, follow Jesus more closely, and love people the way Jesus wants us to. Continue reading Boundaries, Friends, and Acts 22:22-29 (One big important amazingly helpful thing both Paul and Jesus did to help themselves set healthy boundaries)
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edorazzi · 10 months ago
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Page 30 of my Miraculous Mentor AU comic A Matter of Trust! In which Bri decides to reach out to the two weirdest guys in her life (and I get to adapt my all-time favourite PV scene)! ❄️❤️
Index | Start | Prev | Next
Weekly updates each Sunday! You can also read ahead early on Patreon, and/or buy me a Ko-fi if you'd like to support my work! 💖
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aashidoodles · 2 months ago
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Shiguang and friends are hanging out at the studio and cxs is being insufferably flirty with lg
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my-autism-adhd-blog · 1 year ago
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How to say no
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Positively DBT - BDD, Autism, ADHD Peer Support
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s0fter-sin · 5 months ago
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ghost who was chemically castrated by roba and soap who wants to help him to regain his sexual autonomy
nsfw, angst, roba, unnegotiated unsafe but consensual gun play, hopeful ending
💀🧼
ghost walks like it hangs low.
there’s a tilt to his hips and a spread in his thighs and johnny’s never been able to stop staring.
and ghost’s never asked him to.
he knows he’s seen him; he’s not exactly discreet. he swears he’s even seen him cock his hips out before to give him a better view. but he always pulls back just as they toe the line; verbal cold water on the tentative heat they almost can’t help but spark when they’re together.
it’s never a no; johnny’s not so selfish of a cunt that he’d push when he knows he isn’t welcome. it’s always a reluctance; an “i wish i could,” never in so many words. an open ended “but…” as ghost circles the reason without ever actually saying it. johnny knows it’s something personal, something more than a difference in rank could ever excuse.
so he backs off when ghost does, jokes instead of flirts and holds his breath through the agonising wait until ghost lets him in close again. waits to know if he’ll let him close again.
it’s almost anticlimactic, the end of their dance; his delicate steps and looping logic to work out why bulldozed as ghost comes out and says one random night, “i can’t fuck.”
it’s not bitter. it doesn’t grate coming out of his throat; he doesn’t spit it like it’s something to be ashamed, not twisted with insecurity as if it’s an accusation by an ex.
it’s a statement of fact.
“you can’t fuck,” johnny echoes anyway because even if it is the reason, the big why… it still doesn’t really answer anything.
“i can’t get it up,” he elaborates, this horrid blankness in his eyes like he’s reading from a script. “whatever you’re looking for, whatever you want- i can’t give it to you.”
johnny just looks at him, the chill air prickling his skin. “right,” he nods calmly. “because my interest in you starts and ends with your dick.”
that blank calm shatters. “johnny…” he warns.
“do you really think i’m that shallow?” he cuts in, curing himself for the way his voice breaks but he never thought ghost would think so low of him; that this whole time, ghost’s thought that’s the only thing he wants from him. “like i’d take you for a ride ‘n just drop you?”
“there’s a difference between not gettin’ it for one night and never gettin’ it at all,” ghost growls, turning his back on him to lean against the edge of the roof. his shoulders heave and the anger seeps from him in one long breath. “it’s not a hitch, johnny. not a performance issue or ptsd or whatever the fuck you’re thinkin’. it’s permanent. irreversible.”
irreversible.
johnny stops, cold creeping up his limbs and dousing his defensive anger. ghost is many things and when it comes to his words, chief amongst them all is deliberate. he didn’t say it’s unfixable. incurable.
irreversible.
johnny buries his selfish hurt and scuffs his boots, an unobtrusive warning of movement, and comes up beside him; just enough distance between them to catch their breaths. he leans back against the ledge and looks over the opposite side of the roof at the dark sky.
“mexico,” he murmurs. not an accusation. not even really a question but ghost collapses in on himself anyway; sinking into his crossed arms digging into the ledge.
“mexico,” he agrees just as quietly. “‘pparently, roba found it more entertaining to let me keep it but- cut the cords. more demeaning that way; cock’s gone, at least you don’t feel the urge. don’t have to look at the fuckin’ thing hang there when nothin’ fuckin’ works.
“it’s not ‘bout how i see you, johnny,” ghost promises and it’s almost apologetic. “but you like sex. eventually, you’ll want it. and i can’t give it to you. easier to just… not let it get to that point.”
johnny’s jaw flexes. everything in him wants to reject it, wants to protest that something as trivial as an orgasm is more important to him than ghost.
but he also knows words are useless here.
they stand there looking out into the gathering dark, tense silence hanging between them, and the only thing johnny knows is if he isn’t careful, he could lose the one person he cares about most.
💀🧼
ghost’s been uneasy since his abrupt confession.
he knows it was sudden, borderline cruel to dump his shit on johnny with no warning but he just couldn’t take it anymore; couldn’t take the back and forth when he knew it would never go anywhere, couldn’t take johnny’s hope when he knew he’d have to watch it twist into disgust and pity.
into disappointment.
he figures that’s the end of it; there’ll be no more flirting now, no more staring or heated looks, no more teasing him by spreading his knees out just to see the flash of hunger in his eyes. the control he felt playing with johnny knowing it was welcome, just because he could- he’ll never feel that again. not now that johnny knows the truth.
then he steps into his room to find johnny laying naked on his bed.
he’s not spread out like an offering, not throwing him some cheap sultry glance as he plays with himself. he’s not even hard; his cock limp over the cradle of his balls, his legs bent loosely together, arms under his head as if he’s settling down for the night.
ghost sighs and shuts the door behind him. “johnny…”
“i know,” johnny says and it’s gentle; not cutting him off, just getting his attention. “just… hear me out?”
there’s nothing else to say. there’s nothing johnny can say or do to fix his violated body. but ghost still crosses his arms and leans back against the door like he can anyway.
johnny pushes himself up and off the bed, closing the distance between them but still giving him enough space to breathe; to open the door behind him, to escape.
“i can never know what was taken from you,” he starts and ghost’s fingers dig into his arms. “i can never know what it means to you. and i can never get it back.”
he doesn’t break eye contact and slowly lowers himself to his knees. “but i can give you something else.”
“you?” ghost guesses flatly and as much as it warms his blood, as much as he’s imagined having johnny look up at him just like this… it’s still not enough to offset the sickening swoop in his gut when his cock doesn’t so much as twitch.
“i’m a nice bonus,” johnny purrs but his smile remains gentle. “but i’m not the main event.”
he lifts a hand and ghost readies to smack it away when he reaches for his thigh holster instead of his belt. he flicks the closing strap open and pulls his handgun, his favourite, free.
“you told me you can’t fuck,” he murmurs, popping out the clip. he taps it against the side and loads it back in with a practiced hit with the butt of his palm. “but fucking isn’t all there is.”
“johnny, what…” ghost starts just to cut himself off as johnny thumbs off the safety and loads a round into the chamber.
“you trust me?” johnny asks and it’s as loaded as the gun in his hand.
good then, that ghost knows the answer. “always have.”
johnny’s smile blooms with warmth, with pride, and it chases away any reluctance he could possibly feel. he lets him take his hands in his, wrapping them around the gun with his finger on the trigger guard. he brings the barrel up beside his temple, holding it steady before his hands fall away.
until it’s only ghost between him and a bullet.
johnny’s hands go to his belt, his movements slow enough for ghost to stop him long before he reaches his cock, forever hanging limp in his pants. but he just rubs the muzzle along his temple, almost nuzzling him with the gun as he pulls down his jeans and boxers.
he waits for johnny to take him in hand, maybe try and pantomime a handy, and his hips almost recoil at the thought.
but he doesn’t try to touch him.
instead, he takes his wrist and guides the gun to sit in front of his cock; angling it to follow the same slight curve he has then holds his hands behind his back like he’s standing at attention. he splays his knees wide, sinking deeper and ghost sucks in a harsh breath as johnny ducks under the gun; his eyes locked on his as he curls his tongue under the barrel and brings it into his mouth.
it takes every ounce of will he has to not let his hand shake around the gun as johnny gives it the slowest, messiest blowjob he’s ever seen; slowly rising higher on his knees, guiding the gun up with him as if it’s his cock hardening. his cheeks hollow as he sucks, tongue laving up the barrel and flicking out to play with the muzzle like a cockhead, moaning with every bob of his head until saliva drips off the metal and makes a mess of his chin.
ghost’s never felt so powerful as he does watching johnny hang off the end of his gun; watching his cock harden and drool between his legs without a single touch, knowing he could pull the trigger at any time and johnny would not only let him but he’d thank him.
the thought breaks him from his paralysis, drawing the gun from his lips and johnny immediately stills; rolling his wide eyes up like he’s trying to check on him. ghost pushes every ounce of heat into his gaze and cocks the gun to the side, slowly pushing it back in until johnny’s lips meet the trigger guard.
johnny whines as he fucks his mouth, thrusting his hips along with each long drag like the gun is an extension of his body; almost too rough as tears prick his eyes and his lips redden and bruise but he never asks him to stop; his cock leaking a puddle on the floor beneath him.
“you gonna cum for me, johnny?” ghost croons, holding back a groan when just his voice is enough to make him shiver. “gonna cum with my fucking gun down your throat?”
he gives a broken whimper, as close to an agreement as he can make, and ghost crowds in close. he grips the base of his mohawk, wrenching his head back until his throat is flush to the front of his thigh. johnny lets out a choked cry, eyes rolling back and he doesn’t hold back as he brutally fucks his face; feeling the bulge of his gun in his throat against his leg.
“come on, johnny; you wanna be my good little holster?” he growls and makes sure he’s watching as his finger moves from the guard to the trigger. “then take my fucking load.”
he forces the gun as deep as he can and johnny gags, his shaking body locking up as he cums untouched; painting the floor and ghost’s boot, cock twitching and pulsing hard enough to bump against his belly and leave a string of cum threading from it to his cock.
ghost watches him spasm and moan, his throat convulsing around the gun and a heated knot of satisfaction tightens in his gut; so close to the memory of an orgasm, he’s almost dizzy with it.
johnny slumps forward, his hands slipping from behind his back, and ghost quickly flicks the safety back on and drops to his knees. he slides the gun away and pulls johnny forward to collapse into his chest, taking his weight off his knees; his whole body trembling with aftershocks.
“you’re crazy, johnny,” ghost whispers, awed, and feels him smile against his chest.
“aye,” he agrees, voice raspy from his gun scraping up his throat. “how else am i supposed to prove that i mean it?”
ghost tries not to tense up; tries not to let hope sink its cruel roots into his chest. “mean it?”
johnny pulls back, his cheeks still flushed and sticky with spilled tears. “i’m yours, ghost; in any and every way you’ll have me,” he promises. “sex or no sex. this can never happen again and i’ll still never stop wanting you. it doesn’t matter to me as much as you do. you’re everythin’ to me, ghost. not your body; not what you can give me. just you.”
a knot crowds in his throat. “and you needed to deep throat my pistol to prove that?” he deflects.
and just like always, johnny lets him. “worked, didn’t it?” he winks. “you fucked my brains out.”
ghost rolls his eyes to hide the softness he knows is flooding them and helps johnny up and gets him into his shower; cleaning him of the sweat and cum and spit covering his body.
that ghost covered his body in.
his chest hitches at the reminder as he strips himself down to a single layer and all but falls into bed, tugging johnny in after him when he hesitates just slightly at the edge of the bed; splaying his still naked body over him, sated and loose.
“i really do mean it,” johnny whispers into the crook of his neck sometime later; when their breaths have settled and synced.
ghost sweeps his fingers up and down the length of his spine, skin he’s never seen. skin he now knows every inch of. “i know you do,” he whispers back.
and for once, he thinks it might be enough.
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sakuhai · 2 months ago
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tallymali · 18 days ago
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tbh i think a lot of online discourse around social expectations rly struggles to realise that adults NEED to learn discernment and emotional intelligence and personal responsibility in order to figure out what is actually good for them. creating categories of individual actions that are Good For You and Bad For You is just kicking the can down the road. nobody is doing themselves any favours by just deferring to a different authority to the one they were raised with
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calltoamentor · 5 months ago
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Boundaries Are Not Rejection
My cat hates closed doors. Absolutely despises not being granted access to her favorite humans. But as time has gone on, Minn has learned that boundaries and rejection are not in fact the same thing.
Daily writing promptIf you could make your pet understand one thing, what would it be?View all responses Minn has a problem.She loathes closed doors. With every fiber of being, she will scream and physically rail at a door that stands between her and the person she wants to sit with. And when that fails, she will track down a different person and try to get them to open it for her, visibly…
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whetstonefires · 6 months ago
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You know I'm realizing one reason you keep seeing mdzs modern AUs where the Jiang parents are alive mainly so they can dramatically fail and betray Wei Wuxian by cutting him off financially--defaulting on his college tuition or formally disowning him etc--isn't just that people want to translate the Burial Mounds II arc into modern terms while keeping Jiang Cheng clean of it.
(Despite the fact that the internal logic of Jiang Cheng's character is largely built around him being a person who would abandon someone he intensely cared about under these specific circumstances.)
It's because it's hard to set up a modern analogue for the way that Jiang Cheng is responsible for Wei Wuxian, as his Sect Leader.
We live in a highly individualistic society. People are trying to write Wei Wuxian Tragically Wronged, and because there's a normative expectation that people in the position of parents will provide you with resources, and certainly won't withdraw them without warning, but no such assumption that people in the position of siblings necessarily owe each other support, making this work in modern setting with Jiang Cheng in his canon role would require a lot of extra work, just to get a less readily resonant result.
But I keep thinking about it. Because something that's getting lost here is, not just the nuances of character and relationship, but like...it's sort of key to the story that cutting Wei Wuxian off was, in fact, Completely Socially Appropriate.
The level on which it was a betrayal is subtle, and deeply cutting. And intensely tied up in the very different opinions each of Jiang Cheng's parents had about what obligations existed in their family wrt Wei Wuxian, and what these meant.
The level on which it was the obvious, normal course of action is blatant. That is to a huge extent why it happens: because Jiang Cheng's instinct to conform is a survival instinct, reinforced by trauma, and Wei Wuxian's choices meant he had no coherently compelling reason not to obey it, and enormous peer pressure to do so.
The fact is that Jiang Cheng was making a reasonable choice, the actual thing 'anyone would do in that situation,' unlike Wei Wuxian and Jin Guangyao's respective wildly warped ideas about what that is.
Wei Wuxian wasn't betrayed by Jiang Sect like your foster parents cutting you off because you're disobedient. Wei Wuxian was betrayed by Jiang Sect like your brother refusing to drop fifty grand to bail you out of jail.
Of course Wei Wuxian tells him not to. And of course the fact that Jiang Cheng already chose in the moment not to pay a cent because Fuck You Wei Ying still stands there glaring, a precedent that can never be taken back.
And then later he's betrayed by Jiang Cheng like your brother cooperating with a police investigation into a manslaughter you really did commit, that's being handled like domestic terrorism. And then like your brother calling the cops on you. And then like your brother helping the cops find where you're hiding.
I'm personally fascinated by the way Jiang Cheng's lifelong resentment for the way Jiang Fengmian reliably bailed Wei Wuxian out of everything informed those decisions to do the normal thing, the way he's reacting against his dead father as well as against Wei Wuxian and the actual situation.
But even without that daddy issues angle, the fact that the person who made that choice was Jiang Cheng, and that it was simultaneously the reasonable appropriate normal upstanding citizen rational thing to do and so shitty Wei Wuxian would be entitled never to forgive it is sort of. The Point.
Of the scenario, and also to a considerable degree of the entire finely tuned narrative construct that is Jiang Cheng.
#hoc est meum#mdzs#jiang cheng#wei wuxian#meta#like sometimes people commit transgressions#and you have to actually decide what that means to you#what you're willing to let them cost you#whether you agree that that transgression deserves punishment#and even if it does what role you're willing to take in that process#jiang cheng is someone whose sense of right and wrong operates along emotional and pragmatic axes before consulting the moral#which means that without being a *bad* person he's someone who's highly susceptible to pressure#as long as it comes from either a superior or Society At Large#especially if his insecurities get tripped#but like sometimes just for example it's illegal to be gay#or people have less rights because of who their parents were#and those instincts can lead you into bad choices#it's good to be able to set boundaries but jiang cheng is not good at setting them where he personally actually wants them#and when he does they're the boundaries Angry Jiang Cheng wants#and calmed-down jiang cheng just has to live with them#which ofc is something that applies to wwx too in very different ways#the fact that BOTH jiang cheng and lan xichen when the chips are down choose society over their respective halves of wangxian#at one crucial point#and that lan xichen does so in a way that he can live with and not withdraw from the relationship because of#while jiang cheng is almost insane with the need for wei wuxian to deserve everything that happened to him#and how much of that is who they are as people?#and how much is that lan wangji is not dead#and how much is it that lan xichen understands exactly what happened and why#while jiang cheng doesn't and can't so he has to make up his own story to make sense of it#so much going on here
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skywalkr-nberrie · 2 months ago
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Lol, here comes the Anidala toxic truthers in the tags again.
Spoiler alert: they’re still wrong.
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roses-are-repulsed · 1 year ago
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You are not broken for being repulsed. Nothing is wrong with you. You don't need to be fixed. Do not hurt yourself by purposely going past your limit to trigger your repulsion - that's not how exposure therapy works nor is it supposed to cause harm to yourself.
Do not make yourself physically ill trying to be "normal" you deserve better. You deserve kindness. Grant yourself that kindness.
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etherealacademia · 11 months ago
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going to high school was harder than my entire undergraduate degree at a top university. i'm starting my master's degree in a month and i bet I'll be able to say that high school was more difficult. i don't know how i survived that environment
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