#I also use those two to sketch out ideas to remember some of them are very rough

[tumblinglikeduckling]

what app/device do you use to draw?? your art is so nice !!!

Thank you sm!!!! 🙏🥺

I use procreate on my iPad for my more serious drawings, if it’s my tiny doodles they’re either done in ‘free form’ (an app my phone installed after an update which I almost deleted cuz I thought it was a work out app lol) or on paper and then maybe colored in the camera app :)

For context:

Traditional + coloured in my camera app:

Doodled in free form:

Procreate:

[kozachenko]

Don't really have much to post again aside from some more sketching that I've done recently, this time of Reimu and Marisa, mainly because I just need a starting point as to how I would go about drawing them in my style (which is why the poses are so boring lol).

Artist's Notes;

So I mentioned in the last post how I've been wanting to experiment with how I wanted to draw Reimu, and I then got an idea for Marisa. So I wanted to try and contrast the two of them with each other via their shape language and body types. For scale I also put some numbers on the side just as a visualizing aid so I can imagine them easier. I wanted to make Reimu very tall and lanky and Marisa to be short and rounder. Also, this provides some interesting contrast in their shape language, and Marisa ends up being more round and Reimu ends up feeling more sharp.

I think what I'm most worried about is mainly that I don't 100% know if these two drawings still...feel like Reimu and Marisa. MMaybe because I made so many changes to both of them, but I feel like it's mostly in their faces. I kept the little personal touches that would add when I would draw them in the past (i.e. Reimu's tiny eyebrows and Marisa's freckles) but I dunno, maybe it's in the eyes? Like, Marisa's bigger eyes and eyebrows are definitley ideas that I want to play with in the future, but Reimu.... I dunno, I like the idea of her face shape in this drawing specifically, and I defnitely feel like I got closer to the monilid eye look I was trying to achieve in my previous attempt at drawing her eyes, but something still feels off with her.

When I drew Marisa, I really wanted to explore some other ideas for her body type, mainly in contrast to Reimu, so I wanted to give her a fuller figure and make her shorter than Reimu. I do feel like her eyes could be a bit sharper as eyes look maybe a little too innocent for Marisa, but I do still want to use these eyes I drew for her as a springboard for later attempts. I made some adjustments to her dress so that they would look good on the body type I gave her. I also need to draw shoes more because those boots....I just, I don't even know, I probably just need to draw that specific body type more wearing those types of boots or find references because I am not happy with how they turned out. Out of the two of them, Marisa was definitely my favourite to draw. I really enjoying drawing different body types when I get the chance to, and I feel like it's important to try your best to expand your variety when it comes to drawing the human body, I'm glad that I'm comfortable with drawing different body types. I do still have a long ways to go with this as I just need to do it more often and still need to do this but with different body shapes and weights and how to combine those two aspects to create unique body types and silhouettes. Also, please feel free to give me any critiques to how these two designs turned out, I remember that I drew Reimu when it was late at night and spent the entire day on Marisa so I defnitely feel like there's some things to critque here.

I'll be honest... I don't really like how Reimu turned out too much. Not to say it's a bad drawing, but I dunno. I think I just need to draw Reimu more, but she's honestly the hardest character to translate into my style. The thing is, I have an idea for her in my head but I just have a hard time putting it to paper. It's not like I've never drawn her before, in fact, aside from the height I really like how she looked in this piece of fanart (why tf did I make her so short in that piece) I did a while back despite the fact that I've imrpoved on my faces a lot since then (again, I do want to try my lineless style again, I just need to find the chance to do so), maybe because that was the drawing that provided me with some of my ideas on how to draw Reimu in my style? I do think I'm definitely in the rut of the "not knowing how to draw a character's face in your style" phase that I'm sure many fan-artists go through, so with enough drawings I'll get through it eventually, just gotta suffer through several more hours of trial and error though so yipeeeeeeee... As for things I do like, Reimu's hair turned out nicely. I did my usual technique for drawing Reimu's hair and then pasted the lineart layer underneath the main lineart layer and changed the colour to give it some extra pizzaz, and I do like how Reimu and Marisa contrast each other a lot. I just need to find a way to make them feel more like themselves while still taking liberties with their designs in my style.

Even if these are just sketches and me laying the groundwork for how I want to draw these two in the future, I still want to improve how I draw them a lot (also I don't like how much these two look like teenagers, I see both of them as being in their late 20s-early 30s and it just doesn't read like that and I definitely need to do more studies in the future to get them right in my style).

[hetacon]

Zora May 2025 prompts: Music, Festival

Would y’all believe me if I said this isn’t even my main Zora May piece? Ok, for those of you that have been with me for a bit, you probably do lol

It seems I’ve made a zora band! I had this idea because it's a part of my Sidlink animatic that I’ve mentioned a few times. There's going to be a scene in it of some sort of festival being held in the domain and I knew I wanted a group of zoras playing music for it, so I started doing some research and here we are!! The group consists of Marot on tambourine, Mei on harp, Tona on flute, Cleff on violin, and Laflat on conch! (Also if you guys remember my Sidlink drawing from Linktober this past year, that piece and this piece are from the same scene! Makes sense considering the prompt for that one was also music :D)

This really was supposed to be simple but simple is clearly not in my vocabulary! Originally I’d been saying that I didn’t need to go so hard on this but when I was talking about it in therapy a couple weeks ago and said that, my therapist legitimately told me, as soon as that had left my mouth: “Yes you did” 😂 She didn’t even hesitate for a second and she said it in the most dead-set tone I have ever heard, it low-key cracked me up! Though to be fair, her reasoning for that was genuinely really solid because she pointed out that this is a concept I've been working on for nearly a year and a half, so of course I was going to dedicate a lot of effort to making this, even though it's just a concept piece

Anyways, as usual I have a lot of thoughts so I'll put some more of my explanation under the cut as well as some more design concepts! I’ve actually figured out the designs for 3 of the instruments already so I recommend you take a look! (And there may be something related to the previously mentioned Sidlink piece in there as well 👀)

Something I find interesting is I had come up with the instruments I wanted back in February of 2024 and had actually figured out who I wanted to play each of them in November, meaning I'd decided on this months before I started designing my zora oc and thinking a lot about the Marot Mart dynamics, so it's kind of funny that all of them except for Laflat are part of the Coral Reef Crew or are Coral Reef Crew-adjacent (with Tona being Cleff's sister)! It was completely unintentional, but it coincidentally makes a lot of sense that they would form a group considering they spend a decent amount of time together!

I’ll get into it more when I eventually make a post with the finished designs for all the instruments but one of the main things I tried to think about was what sorts of instruments the zoras would make based on what specific resources are native to them and what materials they commonly work with! You guys know me, there was a lot of research put into this idea, and I’m so happy seeing it start to take shape beyond just a handful of words written on a page in my sketchbook!

I don't have all of the designs for the instruments finalized yet but I did manage to work out approximately what the tambourine, conch, and violin will look like. The latter two are pretty much done aside from maybe a couple tweaks on the violin, but I still need to figure out the pattern I want on the tambourine head cause it looks really empty compared to the rest of the design

But anyways yeah, here’s a version of the band without the background and the designs for some of the instruments, as well as some basic concept sketches for Link/Wild’s festival outfit as a bonus! :)

Also I just wanted to mention that I was originally going to tell y’all that I wasn't sure what I wanted to call the band and ask if you guys had any ideas or suggestions but as I was looking through a glossary of music terminology, "The Luminous Tones" (as a play on words of luminous stones since, you know, they're something the zoras use in a lot of their architecture) suddenly popped into my head and at first I thought that was kind of silly but then the idea got stuck in my head and no other name will feel right now, so I guess the Luminous Tones it is!

[starheavenly]

hiii!!! loving your locket comics!!!!!! just wanted to ask a few questions about your process, if you dont mind :D

whats your general process like?

do you do thumbnails, how do they look like?

roughly how long does it take you to complete a comic panel or page?

how detailed are your sketches? do you do multiple?

do you have any specific techniques for lineart?

do you typically use references for your comics?

generally, how much effort and focus do you put into your comics?

do you have any advice for drawing comics?

sorry for for the absolute bombardment of questions, lmao. just really enjoy your art and comics and very interested in the behind the scenes!! feel free to skip any questions (or this whole ask) well wishes and salutations!!! :D

Hello! I'm so glad you enjoy my comics, and I totally don't mind breaking down the process!

For a normal comic page, I would likely actually write a script since it's much easier to keep track of dialogue and actions. But since these are short, I just write it into my thumbnails.

Step 1: Thumbnails. Easily one of my favorite parts, since I get to throw all my ideas down. I do these comics on a 2-panel grid, so I don't have to worry about actual paneling, and it allows me to focus more on the setup of each shot. Think of it like storyboarding!

Step 2: Add cleaner thumbs if needed. I actually made 3D models of Deadlock and Ratchet's chest in Blockbench, so I often trace them to save myself some time! (It might look insane, but I promise, for me, it's not.)

Step 3: Lettering! I actually like to get the lettering out of the way right away since it can take a while. Ever since I started treating lettering as its own form of art, my skills have gotten better, but it also takes much longer.

Step 4: Clean sketch! I'm just now finding out that people think I’m doing lineart for these? I am not… these are all just clean sketches. Maybe doing the blackwork gives the illusion of lineart?

Step 5: Color! Most of these comics are in black and white to save time, but it also lets me focus on values and shot framing again. I add my glow overlay to the eyes, and boom, done!

Roughly how long does it take you to complete a comic panel or page?

It really depends on how complicated the panels are. I like to step out of my comfort zone. I know the Grimlock and Misfire one took longer because of how many panels there were and the fact that I was drawing characters I’d never drawn before, but I’d say it usually takes around 5-8 hours for a whole page.

Do you typically use references for your comics?

I'm literally the reference GOD- we all know this. But yes, I love using references and doing character studies. I have yet to do a study on LL Drift, but I have a few references of him that I’ve made.

Generally, how much effort and focus do you put into your comics?

I mean, I wouldn't say I don't put in a lot of effort? I put in enough. I don't know… there's a point in the clean sketch process where you can kind of just turn off your brain. I'm passionate about comics, but we can all agree there's a point in a drawing where you just zone out.

Do you have any advice for drawing comics?

I think being able to balance dialogue and visuals is super important. I don't know if you guys have picked up a graphic novel from Barnes & Noble recently, but if you open a page, you'll see a character sitting with the biggest bubble you've ever seen, filled with paragraphs of text. While I get it—being a novel as much as it's graphic—I personally like to visualize emotions more. If it means adding two more panels to make an interesting dialogue setup, I don't mind doing it. Another thing to remember is that not all panels need to have details or 100% effort. Sometimes you need to simplify and move on, and that's okay! Those two extra panels that are giving you a better stage setup might be the ones that need fewer details and less time. I would consider my comic page work and my 4-panel work very different. One is about paneling, setup, and visuals, while the other is very much like storyboarding. Both are skills you learn with practice and study.

[deadbeat-motel]

ᑕᕼEᖇᖇIᗷOᗰᗷ ᗩᑎᗪ ᔕIᖇᑭEᑎTIOᑌᔕ ᖇEᗪEᔕIGᑎ

The last two designs for the main cast. With these two done, I can finally work on miscellaneous characters that I've been eyeing the most.

Again, thoughts below the cut:

My issues with their Original designs:

Sir Pentious:

I thought I would only have one thing to say about him (the unnecessary eyes) since he was my favorite in the entire original cast but having taken a closer look at him for this, I saw a lot of things that bothers me.

Too many eyes. specifically the lower half of his body has too many eyes and it seems detrimental to him. It's kind of painful to think about it since I do not think we ever see those eyes close. Is he just slithering on the ground with those exposed eyes? That's got to be irritating at best and damaged at worst as he continuously slithers on them.

There are eyes on the bowtie and the hat? There are already 4 extra eyes on his hood, so why have even more? I get that the original Pentious design was basically a monsterous amalgamation of eyes but the eye thing could have been scrapped altogether.

While his palette was the least red out of the cast (More so composed of yellows), it still blends in with the rest of the reds.

The claws are an unnecessary repeating design trait (Alastor and Vox notably have them too). I don't think it would've been too big of a difference to just keep his fingers fully black.

The stripes on his suit are too thick. It's called pinstripes for a reason.

I don't like how the hat is shaped to fit the head, It's awkward.

not a point, but I just wanted to say how the blue color palette works really well with him in that last episode.

CherriBomb:

She's not that bad of a design (She's sort of bland in my opinion) but it's the little small details about her that makes her so simple and also so complicated at the same time. There are so many batches of freckles scattered everywhere, little explosion lines on her skirt as well as the X on her chest, the tattoos are a jamble of random loops and bombs, and her tattering doesn't have an easy shape to consistently draw.

The thought process for these two:

Mx. Pentious:

Pentious goes by both Sir/Miss/Mx. but uses she/they pronouns.

Minimized the actual amount of eyes on her, I kept it only to her actual eyes and those on her hood.

Gave her a butterfly-shaped hood. It's nothing deep since it stems from the fact the notches in Sir Pentious' hood almost looked like one to my bad eyesight. I decided to play more into that idea.

I read some posts where people talk about how Sir Pentious should have a snout and while I understand why and fully support people giving him one, I really didn't want to add the snout to this design. It drove me crazy since I'm not a big fan of it. I tried a compromise where her head was shaped more like Phineas.

Kept the tophat but removed its eye and mouth. If I remember correctly, Viv took that from one of her co-workers from the pilot. I decided to just have it as a regular tophat.

It doesn't have all the colors, but her design does have the Neptunic flag.

I'm not sure if this even is a real snake but I based Mx. Pentious' design on this:

CherriBomb:

Scraped most of her features in exchange for a sukeban theme. I personally have zero knowledge about the punk scene in Australia.

A majority of the suggestions I received for her rough draft had something to do with the skirt. I elongated it and gave it a slit in which the magenta from the inside is able to pop out.

Thought it would be a cute detail to have her hair explode if she's angry.

----

Apologies this took too long to be posted, Life got in the way as well as the fact I was feeling shitty about Pentious' first draft. Her skin was an awkward and ugly shade of green and seeing some posts critical of Pentious' design got me to think a little bit more about what direction I'd like to move her redesign.

You could see this in the earlier rough sketches but this was how Pentious' first redesign looked like

[dzmaylon]

sonic au/fan story? Where Sonic lost his superspeed and Shadow met other Sonic and his friends in a parallel universe

I’ll drop some sketches here because why not

Girl on the first pic is my fan character, Verse the Hedgehog, her full name is Verse O’Tyle. Sonic reminds Verse of her siblings in a way, and I like to imagine them both chilling somewhere on a hill.

She is a “chill girl surrounded by chaos” - and chaos is her crazy af family. Her siblings are on a third pic: brother Leaph and cousin Snowflake. Leaph loves jumping, he leaps high as possible, and hides in a trees, causing Verse to search for him for hours lol. And Snowflake is overall quiet girl, shy and cute. Her quills are too soft which hurts a lot, that’s why she only wears gloves and really soft shoes. Snowflake usually just follows Leaph everywhere. There is also Verse’s mother and uncle but I got no pics of them yet

Shadow the Hedgehog

So the whole AU idea is that chaos energy around has risen, because of it an accident has happened with Sonic, and Shadow and Sonic had a brief fight during which all the negative emotions and stuff snapped Shadow’s inhibitor rings. It’s a REALLY long story short because there is more details to it.

but basically it caused all the Shadow’s energy go inside-out and this “Raw Chaos Energy” was still living in the past, unconsciously twisting everything around, and blaming everyone around (aka Sonic and his friends) for Maria’s death. Realising she was long dæd Raw Energy bends space-time to save her. This creates a parallel universe, where past!Shadow now has some of the “flashes” of future events with Maria’s and using it to save her. Also this form is like SUPER STRONG and the only reason Sonic survived it because before that Master Emerald had transferred some of its power to Knuckles just for a brief moment

so here is a sketch of Emerald/Raw Energy Knuckles

Not gonna go with much details because I might change a lot of that, but the whole idea is that in parallel universe where Maria had survived (even if for a few more decades only) Sonic didn’t get his super speed. It’s kinda to balance whole world out, because Maria had influenced people in a good way while she was living her full life

ANYWAY

remember the flashes I mentioned earlier? Shadow also saw Sonic and the others in those “flashy events” but he has no idea who tf they are, and later on he will try to find them because he started to have more and more dreams about them

here is Sonic and some of his friends

he never got blue because he never reach sonic speed and that’s why he is brown

I still didn’t pic a name for him, it makes sense for him to be Wendy (like a wind ig) but I don’t know how to make it unisex or something. I called him “Marcille” before because in Archie Comics he was called Maurice and I loved the way Marcille sounds lol

and yeah TRANS SONIC 🏳️‍⚧️🗣️🗣️ the original sonic is also trans but he is already comfortable with himself so

since sonic isn’t such a hero as he in a main universe, people here are way less united and there is more crime and bad people (mostly because people mistrust each other, so it’s not just about the super speed but specifically Sonic’s mentality)

and Amy in this universe is the one who tries to hold it all together, helping people by the cost of her own happiness

poor baby

Knuckles and Rouge exist here too but I have no pics of them yet, moving forward

TAILS!!

No one even know the guy named Tails and to be fair he doesn’t even exist. Miles, however, does but he is not with the main squad - after all he was never saved from that village and was constantly bullied for his two tails

as of now I don’t have any more sketches so here is my rattlesnake fan character from the same universe

this one is specifically from the main universe

colors on second one are the old one because I dig the new design more

she makes poison treatments and meds but her hobby is mechanics and stuff, she might be not good at it as Tails but she’s willing to learn

and some doodles

[coveredinredpaint]

Hi! I'm trying to start making my first battle jacket, but idk where to start, any tips?

thanks you for your atention!

-🐛

heyey!

i remember making a post about this but once again i cant find it. so ill just make one again.

step one is gathering inspo! i personally use tumblr and pinterest. sketching out ideas you have to see how they fit together also helps create an idea of what you might want. if you want to make sure you like the placement of a patch or chain, you can attach it with safety pins first.

dont let yourself be stopped by gatekeepers or elitists, its your jacket and thus there are no rules. although i do advise you to not put political patches on your back, to prevent bigots from attacking you from behind.

also dont put big and/or sharp spikes on gear youre going to be wearing while in the moshpit. you dont want to seriously injure yourself someone else, also make sure you dont have any patches attached with safetypins on your jacket while in the pit, for the same reason

if you dont have a jacket yet id advise looking out for them on fleamarkets, garagesales, thriftstores or online secondhand sites like vinted. i advise buying one that is a bit bigger on you, cause jackets tend to shrink a bit when you sew patches onto them. also a sturdier one like denim or leather (dont buy "vegan" (plastic) leather itll disintegrate in a year) makes sure your jacket will last longer.

i made a tutorial on making patches last year,

also made a tutorial on making bottlecap buttons

for chains id look in hardware or craftstores, spikes can be found in craftstores sometimes but etsy is a good alternative. if you have other alternative friends you can also trade with them! i get a lot of my coolest stuff from my friends.

ehh i think thats about it? let me know if you want some more in depth info about something.

[palenutbasement]

(all scenes are depicted as platonic)

So every Inktober I try to do something more challenging, and this year I thought I would make a short comic/fanfic. I think I got the idea for this one a year ago but I was already wrapped up with another Inktober. Eventually I solidified the idea by making my own prompt list some time ago.

This comic is split into three parts with 10 days focusing on each of them, 30 in total, everything is compiled here. I wanted to post them after October in case I wanted to change anything.

This first part takes place in the summit.

The comic is basically all improvised, that means no planning for the composition, plot, or sketching any drawings. The most planning I did was write a few scripts ahead of time within the month to save me some time but most of them would be changed last minute anyways.

As for the plot, I won't go too deep into it because I don't want to talk too much, so you'll just find commentary on the making of the comic and stuff.

This first part is a little gimmick-y compared to the next two, with new elements appearing almost every day. It’s because I relied a lot on the prompts (dog, milk, etc.) to keep things happening, eventually I move further away from them.

What is surprising to me is how much the art changes as the days go by especially within the span of one month. I did refine a few things to keep it more consistent but this is nearly indistinguishable from the original drawings.

I should also mention that my favourite aspect of this project was adding references to the game and subtle details (if you can find it all, awesome!!) This may have been done quickly but I like to have those things and put at least a bit of effort into the dialogue.

Part 2

Eventually I figured that drawing the same setting for 30 days straight would drive me insane, hence why this comic is split like it is. I’m glad I did because it makes the story a little more interesting, seeing the characters have different attitudes in different places and whatnot.

This one takes place in the cave directly after pt 1. Admittedly I do better drawing outdoor settings, it's what I'm used to, but the cave wasn't so bad to figure out.

I remember these two days I was streaming drawing the comic to my friends, so I kinda zoned out while we were talking lol

One of the prompts was about napping, so I made Dwarf sleep. I believe I was tired that day too and it was therapeutic to draw and include that. Also they look cute, I think.

18 & 19 have some of my favourite drawings in the comic. The campfire lighting is what we'd get if I had a bit more energy each day, and I like the perspective in the first panel of 19.

I find this last section interesting, because of all the 30 days, it’s the only one in Dwarf’s POV. I felt like it was fitting to do something like that at the time.

Part 3

Since we were approaching Halloween, I wanted to have a special part for it. It’s related to the other two parts but it takes place some time after. I’m really sorry it’s out of season, if it were up to me I would have had this post out earlier (thank my midterms for the delay)

Out of all the other parts this one is my favourite. Maybe because it’s more recent I’m inclined to think that way but it has some of my fave moments that I've written here.

Other than that I don't have much commentary for this part. More thoughts at the end!

I was caught up everyday atp, but I didn’t have much spare time to prepare for the ending (I wrote it the morning of that day). I think this is a decent conclusion though.

I intend on coming back to this story, maybe next year to make a continuation but we'll see what happens. There are definitely things that I want to come back to someday.

Thank you for making it this far btw. It's been an eventful month for me beyond this (Untitled) comic, but there wasn't a single aspect of this that I didn't enjoy doing. It's a silly project and I care about it.

Also, I'm not going to neglect the 31st of October! That day will get an illustration, where I will pick my favourite panel and redraw it. I want to take my time with this one so it's not out yet, but hopefully I can finish by Christmas.

[answer2jeff]

not a lot, just forever.

carmen's opening up, but he wishes you'd do the same.

warnings: fluff + angst. fem!reader who is also a big reader (mostly poetry) and occasionally journals. unestablished relationship (friends to lovers, mutual pinning.) very touchy-feely. writing is overly detailed and so painfully poetic you might vomit.

word count : 2.4k

hey. i think i left my book at ur place. 11:15pm.

sorry, just got home. i can bring it over now 11:36pm.

oh yeah that'd be great! thank you. (sorry for the inconvenience) 11:38pm.

no worries 11:41pm.

lmk when ur here. xx 11:45pm.

Carmen had some idea of what that meant: xx. He knew what it meant when girls signed notes with xoxo in replacement of red kiss marks and strokes of long acrylic nails through their secret lovers hair—not that he ever received one, no. But your occasional visits practically felt just as intoxicating. If the order was x-o-x-o, and the worded statement being hugs-and-kisses, then xx must've been hugs, right? Two hugs. Like the one you shared the first time you met at Natalie's baby shower. He smelled like authentic Italian cologne with a hint of cigarette smoke diluted by dish soap and warm water. His grasp was hesitant, but ever-all-consuming once his shoulders relaxed. It was like metamorphosis. The way he wrapped his arms underneath while you tossed yours up around his neck, his gold chain feeling cold and hard against your skin, unlike the rest of him.

He was an under-hugger. He kept the ones he cared for unsuspectingly close to him. Such physical touch felt familiar. Maybe you'd just remembered stories and inside jokes about him through Natalie so well his tenderness and anxious nature was fitting to the idea of him you had in your head.

That was almost 6 months ago. And surprisingly, you'd become pretty good friends. Not that either of you really did friends at your age...but somehow it worked. You'd come to realize that he was so much kinder than anyone painted him out to be. And yet, you never really talked about yourselves.

Not in a way that really mattered, anyway.

The articles you'd written, the interviews you conducted with snobby assholes, the dozens of freelancing jobs with horrific schedules you had before, what you loved about writing and what you hated about the world around you—those were topics of discussion. Carmen's favorite restaurants he ever expanded his career with, the odd relationship he had with his sister that flipped like a rusty switch after highschool, candle scents he loved and bought over and over again despite their poor quality wicks, the first time he got drunk and how he swore he'd never let another drop of alcohol touch his tongue—those were normal methods of late night conversations.

But what about your dream to publish a novel? Or the memoir you read that completely changed your views on love as a whole. What about Carmen's uncle being his only friend his entire life? Oh, how he would've become a starving, broken artist if he ever believed he had enough talent for it. Hell, what about the girl you met in middle school who mysteriously moved away and shared all her secrets on the true meaning of life, death, and everything in between? Why didn't you ever talk about those things? Maybe it was too close, too personal. If he knew you too well, maybe he'd see you as you saw yourself.

Carmen had been thinking about those colored pencils you bought him for his birthday and can't get himself to tell you he uses them every day. Not just to illustrate his dishes...but you, sometimes. Your hair, your smile. He used that photo you begged him to snap of you staring out your window melodramatically with a bowl of pasta carbonara and a glass of bubbling champagne in front of you as reference. How could he ever show you the endless amount of pages containing the essence of your existence in that goddamn sketch book?

Questions. Questions. Questions.

Thoughts of potential ate away at your patience with every pacing step you took around your bedroom.

Answers. Answers. Answers.

—

"Do people even have deep conversations over pasta and wine anymore?" You trace the pad of your middle finger against the rim of your glass, your elbow propped up on the counter so your chin can rest in your hand.

Carmen draws his eyebrows together, the little crinkle in his forehead showing. You glance up at it and struggle to stifle a growing smile. He cocks his head before barring his bottom lip behind his teeth, picking at the skin with the tips of his fingers. That signature pose; where his left arm is crossed against his chest and his hand holds the elbow of his right arm. It's a habit you almost immediately picked up on. It told you time and time again that he was nervous.

Thinking. Contemplating.

"Is that, like—" he breaths a chuckle, but it comes out more as an accidental huff than anything. Smug bastard, he is. Especially when he drags his gold chain across his neck as it loops around the finger that once picked at the dry skin of his mouth.

"Your way of..asking me for a deep conversation over wine and pasta?"

Ah. He's called you out. The one thing he couldn't shake was his annoyance when you were so completely and utterly vague about your wants, your needs, your desires. Hell, Carmen Berzatto would wrap a lasso around the moon, or any planet you put your claim on, and drag it down so it could be yours and only yours. Only if it meant you'd stop feeling so complacent. You knew this. At least to some extent. His little favors buttered you up until you a mushy mess of adoration. What really scratched at your urges and your patience was how blissfully unaware he was of his show of affection toward you. Part of you feared that if you ever told him how much it caressed that bruised, fruit fly infested, rotted spot of your heart so gently it felt like a kiss, despite the sting, he'd stop.

"Y'know what? Yeah. I'm asking."

You shrug your shoulders and stare down at your nearly finished bowl of penne with vodka sauce. Stabbing a stack of pasta onto your fork and the clinking sound of the metal banging against the ceramic bowl seemed to fill the silence before Carmen finally spoke again, though with much hesitation.

"Okay," he barely whispers, nodding his head and fumbling to take a seat in the barstool underneath the counter. Sitting across from you gives him the constant justification to just look at you.

Starting off this session with a question was quite a kicker.

"Y'know Sade Zabala? Author of that book you brought back for me."

Carmen blinks slowly. He pretends to dig deep in his memory to identify the name, wondering if you'd ever mentioned her. But he fails, pulling his lips taught, so as to say 'I've got nothin.' The sound of your dramatic sigh and the 'tsk' sound of your lips separating makes his palms sweat.

"She's a wonderful writer. A poet. I mean, really, her book Coffee and Cigarettes was one of the most gut-wrenchingly beautiful and altruistic collections of.. of love, pain, rejuvenation—all of it."

If he was completely honest, he doesn't have a clear image of what those words meant. But it doesn't seem to matter what comes out of your mouth or how you phrase it. Your use of specific language fascinates him. There is nothing else he can do in this moment but nod and allow the corners of his lips to curl into a smile strong enough to make the apples of his cheeks go pink.

"I'll tell you one line of one of the greatest poems she had ever written in that book. In the humble opinion of yours truly, of course."

"Sure," he assures you. "Of course, of course."

"Tell me every terrible thing you ever did, and let me love you anyway."

Saliva pools in your mouth as you speak the quote, the taste of every vowel washing down your throat as if you dedicate them to Carmen himself. Which, in bare and naked truth, you do. The only thing you could ever ask of Carmen was to let himself tear himself open with the hope and belief that you would crawl into his fears and convert them into profound discoveries. And the trust that you would not stitch him up with your own hands, but rather clasp your fists around the circumference of his wrists as he carefully closes the wound his trajectory of life has created.

"Wow." Carmen's eyes go another centimeter wider, the language still processing in his mind. He interprets it over and over again.

"I know. And—" you set your fork down so you can have complete focus as you recite your following question, "I was just wondering what you'd say if someone told you that, y'know? What would you tell them?"

Vulnerability, he thinks. Fuck.

"I mean...fuck that's—that's a good question. Um.." he chews on the flesh of his bottom lip once again, looking above at the warm glow of the light that hangs over your island counter as if he'll find the answer up there.

"I don't even like the good stuff about me, so. I'm not sure how to, like, articulate that? Is that the word?"

Now the quickening pace has started.

"And what do you think the good stuff about you is?"

Probing questions like this are somewhat too-close-for-comfort inquiries for friends. But Carmen would be stupid to mind it. He relishes in it, actually. With much guilt. But it's tainted with the secret pleasure of being cared for by someone he so deeply valued the opinions and thoughts of.

Since the first day you met, Carmen knew he would never go to anyone else for some piece of mind. For some sanity. Or even just for someone to explain the method to his madness. You understood it—what he believed.

"I care a lot, I think. But that's not always practical. It hardly ever is now that I think about it."

"You do. You care so much." You soften your tone, hesitantly reaching for Carmen's tattooed hand that rests on the cold marble counter.

"Sometimes it freaks me out."

"Like, this whole thing, the—the restaurant, where my life is right now, it makes me crazy. But it also keeps me..."

"Human," you finish.

"Yeah, human."

Though it takes him a couple seconds for his digits to not second guess themselves, he gently takes your hand in his. The slow pace in which he intertwines his fingers with yours is enough to kill you.

"Can I tell you something?" Carmen asks.

"Anything."

"You take good care of me. Of everyone, really." . His thumb gently rubs your warm skin, the rough and calloused mounds over his fingerprints soothing you. A deep breath moves in and out from his lungs as he meets your eyes again. This time, he won't look away.

"It's like you were made to just be good."

You smile, but you're not convinced you're certain on what he means. "Thank you, Carm. But—good?"

"I don't know. You're warm. I'm—I'm not like that. I'm not warm."

This, this is where truths as bare as untraveled paws of loyal dogs that roamed the streets in search of security uncover themselves.

"What? Of course you are." You lean forward, feeling your heart pound so hard it could leap out of your body.

"I don't think I am."

To think—no, to know that Carmen Berzatto cannot share at least one feature of his layered soul he genuinely likes. God, that pains you. You could write a million sonnets listing every little thing you adored about your friend.

"Carmen, you—" you sigh, your head dropping for a fraction of a second. "You have such a big heart. You're not cold or...or out of reach, or anything like that, okay?"

Even with Carmen's tendency for rage and his tattoos that displayed yet another callback to his culinary career—his way of speaking: so gentle and unsupported, you're certain that he is something so much greater than just a chef. He took care of people too. His staff, his clientele, his family—of you. Whether it was home cooked meals when you were sick, or when you needed to complain about Natalie. Carmen listened. Not as her brother, but as your friend. You don't really remember when you started to regularly see each other during his leisure. Either at the restaurant, or a coffee shop next door to your complex, and eventually his living room.

"This is so fucking selfish, but—"

No, Carmen. You could never be selfish.

But you let him be hungry. You want him to be hungry. Starving for reassurance. Because you'll feed him until the empty space in his existence is filled.

"I just wish you'd look after yourself the way you take care of me. Like, fuck, hearing you look at yourself and point out all this shit that nobody notices—which I wish they fucking would—because I notice them and I still love those things about you is..."

Oh, what a beautiful mind you've always had. He'll always store all the love you can't have for yourself in his own heart. Your wit, your intelligence, your smile, even down to the way you have to readjust the grip of your fountain pen as you inscribe your thoughts into your journal

"Wrong." He completed his thought with just one word. "I don't like it. It makes me sad," he says again.

That breaks you. So much that a tear sure to be followed by many more wells up in your waterline. The glisten of the salty liquid in your eyes startles the wonderful man across you. You can see the immediate guilt in his face, his blue eyes filled with concern and regret. But you shake your head, holding onto his forearm as he raises his hand to your cheek to catch the falling tear. Fuck being friends. Fuck small talk. Fuck jokes and laughs and cigarettes and poor communication that just ended in silence.

This was here and now. There was no going back.

With that, you cupped Carmen's own cheek, leaning closer and closer to his lips before he desperately kissed you. His free hand anchored itself on your shoulder blade while yours crawled to the back of his head to burry itself in his golden curls. Your taste was everything. Salty with pasta with a sweet aftertaste that echoed from your fruity lip balm, followed by a final twinge of bitterness from your glass of red wine. He tasted of comfort, of acceptance, something you'd never felt against your tastebuds from the previous years of the dating pool. With every separation of your lips to swallow gasps of air, the further the two of you hovered over the counter in a needy attempt to get closer.

You didn't need answers. Not a lot from him either. Just him. Forever.

tags: @lemmejustpulloutmylightsaber @sexyyounglatinoboy @febris-amatoria @diorrfairy

[the-burd-lord]

Heavily inspired by @deafenedsaltwater 's concepts. Idk what was in that post, but it sparked me to make a whole heap of sketches and ideas. Dunno how far I'm gonna roll with this concept, but for now it's rollin kinda far.

Loads of info below:

Four is the math teacher with X as his TA. Four's one of those teachers that really knows the material, but because they know it so well he thinks it should be easy for anyone to get. So they're kinda harsh with the students if they get something wrong.

Whereas X gives more positive reinforcements for students, and isn't as harsh with them. X doesn't know as much of the material, and probably looks to the teacher's textbook if they're lost. One of those teachers who kinda learns with the class.

Airy is the school's nurse and teaches the Home E.C. class, and he's awful at both jobs. When he's not starting fires or teaching the course like it's some kind of wilderness survival camp, he's mainly works as the nurse.

As a nurse, he misdiagnoses things constantly if it's not an obvious injury, and uses a bunch of herbal remedies for the few things he does know how to help with. Mainly scrapes and stomach aches.

Two often times subs in for him when Airy has to take care of a sick student, who often times will fake being sick so they can get Two to teach the class.

MePhone teaches coding and AutoCAD as an extra circular, and probably typing for lower grades. I keep slappin' a bunch of classes onto 'im cause I remember taking so many throughout high and middle school.

He doesn't enjoy teaching coding or typing since he doesn't see them as creative as making actual models for things in AutoCAD, even though the other two can be used creatively. MePad's kinda left to teach those classes despite being a TA.

Also it's a very hands off class where he gives them the basics of how to use the program, and the rest of the class is leaving the students to make whatever thing fits the assignment.

He's the kind of teacher who's real in tune with internet culture and reality tv so he uses a bunch of modern slang phrases or casually gives hot takes on shows if he overhears the students talking about them. Everyone thinks it's cause he wants to be "hip with the kids" when in reality he just has brain rot.

Clock's the history teacher. He discusses each history point with the same tone and enthusiasm, and remembers the years and eras with pinpoint accuracy. Kinda put too much emphasis on the dates, and how long events lasted, over the content of those events.

He's the teacher you can get to go on a long side tangent about something unrelated to the material, but they'd always find a way to bring it back to history.

Idk I also think it'd also be funny if he co-taught an economics class with Four (thinking there'd be a lot of math involved) when it's really more so about theories.

Out of all the teachers, Four and Clock are the most knowledgeable and could probably teach college level courses if they wanted to.

Animatic is the PE teacher with too much energy and gives the harshest workouts but thinks they're easy. Mainly cause he does them alongside the students and always has energy after to run laps around the school. Two would have probably told them to tone it down.

Speaking of-

Two is the health counselor and sub for Home Econ., but also has a bunch of unofficial jobs. They're the unofficial vice principal mainly cause the rest of the speaker boxes are kinda incompetent at their job, and they have to mediate not only students but teachers too (mainly Four and Animatic). As well as sub in for Airy, or even act as a supervisor, when need be.

Some other ones I haven't drawn yet are Daddy Long Legs as the music teacher, Popcorn as the theater teacher, and Hourglass as the English/Literature teacher.

The speaker boxes are the principle/VP/admin. They all kinda interchange with each other, considering how similar they all are also cause they switch out a lot in the original show.

Dunno who the science or art teacher would be, cause I'm mainly going after object shows I've seen. Honestly I may just swap some roles around.

Mainly doing this as a thing for funsies, but boy howdy is it a rapidly rolling snowball.

[chil-aglia]

kinda a lot, but 4 5 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 20 21 + entire fandom section and entire for artists/writers section please!

oh who am I kidding, that is a lot so sorry lol

Oh boy, time to THINK—

——————————————————————————————————

4) I think I became a fan of TMNT when I was like 6? Or 7? Basically, a long time ago—

5) I am most familiar with TMNT 2007, 2012, Rise and 2003

10) Rise Leo! He’s my fav lil guy

11) Honestly mine is a mix of 2003 Raph and 2007 Raph— (those two fr raised me)

12) Surprisingly I like the 2012 Donnie. But I also like Rise Donnie. So those two.

13) 2003 Mikey has a special place in my heart

14) Hm….probably either 2012 splinter or 2007

15) 2003 April was cool. Rise April is also fun!

16) Does Rise Casey count? Like both of them?

17) 2003 Shredder gave me nightmares as a child. But he was also kinda cool from what I remember. So…that version

20) 2012 and 2003 theme songs go so hard like, bro, who in the studios cooked

21) Story arc? I honestly have no idea…OH WAIT ACTUALLY does the bad future of any TMNT version count? Cause I love me some doomed timeline where everyone is dead or basically has gone to shit—

——————————————————————————————————

Entire Fandom section

There’s so many to pick from! I guess Down with the Stockholm, Mutant Ninja Midlife Crisis, Quick Sketch, Donnie’s villain story, Leonardo come down, Firefight, etc, etc

Fan comics? I’m really liking Residuum’s comic right now. I also like Replica, EW, Feral Leo, there’s a comic where it’s all the future iterations of the TMNT boys in space (I forgot the name of it) and many others.

Honesty Villain Leo AU or a separate AU. I also like AU’s of Peepaw Leo getting sent back to the present and whatnot

I honestly don’t know. I see a lot when scrolling so it’s hard to pick one at the top of my head

Leonardo-centric fics where it’s angsty and has dark themes to it. It is chef kiss and feeds me well

Hm…I got no clue. Maybe more Leo/reader fics? (I always find it hard to find any that are good) or maybe more villain Leo fics?

Leonardo is the older twin out of him and Donnie in the Rise version. The tmnt group all have PTSD of some sort and Leonardo having insomnia in Rise. OH! And Leo in Rise being like Bisexual and stuff

That I reject? Uh…wait is t-cest considered headcanon? Cause if so, get that shit outta here

This is more directed to 2012 version, but I get so peeved when Mikey is considered the ‘dumb’ one or the ‘screw up’ and gets bullied for it. Like I get he does have moments (a lot of moments actually) where he does stupid stuff and gets him and the others in trouble, but dang, the things where nothing is his fault like I saw an episode where he was legit just cleaning and Donnie and Casey I think were fighting and they knocked into Mikey where the dude fell down the stairs and dropped like a bucket or something. AND LEO AND RAPH ARE THE ONES GETTING PISSY AT MIKEY??? LIKE WHAT?! I also don’t like the whole Donnie and April thing in 2012 and in the Bayverse movie but with Mikey and April.

——————————————————————————————————

Artist/writers section

Probably a drawing for the 2003 show when I was 7. I was very artistic as a child so it wouldn’t surprise me if I drew one of the turtles (probably Raph)

My fics!!

Lately I’ve been writing a lot of Leo for the Rise version, and I’ve been mostly drawing Leo and Donnie from the Rise version as well. (Plus OC’s but we won’t count them)

Basically writing the brotherly bonds of the boys and of course drawing memes of them with my OC’s.

Right now, I’m only writing and drawing for Rise. But honestly, I’m kinda tempted to write for 2007 & 2012 in the future.

Stick close to canon unless it’s a story that happens post movie (from the rise)

*side eyes all my TMNT OC’s in both the making and that are currently seen on my tumblr account* no— yes

I normally don’t. MOSTLY CAUSE IM SO USE TO SEEING THEM WITHOUT TAILS IN THE SHOWS AND MOVIES THAT I JUST FORGET—

——————————————————————————————————

Anyway, thank you for coming to my Ted Talk about these lil guys—

Feel free to send me more that I haven’t answered!

[elviraaxen]

ive really been loving the pacing of your story and i enjoy the concept and the bits that have been released about the plot! youre doing really well, and i admire it greatly!!

ive been having trouble figuring out an overall plot in my own work, i just have character ideas and the vaguest idea for a storyline. i try to just write but then i usually end up taking a break (re: dumping it) because i don't have anymore ideas for how to complete the plot. i've laso been curious about how you go about writing for a comic (do you write then do thumbnails? do thumbnails then go back to figure out dialogue? a third thing?) so i was wondering if you had any advice or resource tips for writing? both for comics and for overarching plots, if that's okay

if you don't have any ideas tho, no worries. i was just curious. good luck with Felt World! i love everything that's coming out so far, thank you for gifting us it!!

Oh thank you so much!! I can't say I'm a comic book artist at heart because I really don't have much experience, I was only an illustrator for a short while and never wrote anything myself, but learning from past mistakes (i.e. I don't stick to plans), I've so far done this and it seems to work:

I'm one of those that don't like to plan strict layouts for the entire thing, because chances are I will not stick to it, so what I've done for felt world is just write a sketch for the overarching plot, the b-plot and c-plot, with rough estimates in what order I want the major plot points and settings to be. My current sketch looks like this;

(which is done in Miro) and as you can see there aren't that many plot points, because I want to have the wiggle room to come up with something on the spot. And also, my comic focuses a lot on interpersonal relationships, character development, and themes rather than the plot, which means it needs to be concise or else the comic is gonna take 6 million years to finish.

And now,, I think this might just be how I work, but I think it's easier to be creative when you have strict restrictions rather than all the choices in the world.

for me, personally, I restrict an update of 10 pages tops, because instagram only allows max 10 images per post! This means I have to 1) fit all I want to say in 10 pages, 2) it has to be concise or else I infodump on readers, and 3) I have to answer some sort of question within the update, or else I said nothing and I start over.

As for scripts, I tend to write one or two sentences of what's going to happen for the update, and then I get to thumb-nailing and sketching right away! I come up with most of the dialogue on the spot too.

And also, I think what's most important, is that you take your damn time! If you aren't immersing yourself in your own world, how do you expect your readers to do the same?

I'm very much a believer that the stories you are telling are something that comes to you naturally if you just sit with it and listen rather than demand that it makes itself known to you. When I brainstorm for felt world I quite literally sit in my bed and go "omg!! And then what? :0" TO MYSELF LMAO as if I'm not making everything up myself! I think that's extremely important that your story is engaging to you first and foremost!

And as for more practical tips

carry a notebook with you or use your notes app AS SOON as you get ideas to write them down! No you will not remember, lol.

set rules of what you're not allowed to do with your story so that you don't fall into lazy trope territory! You can do that when you brain storm, but finesse the story post brainstorm to just make it.. smarter.. if that makes sens For example, don't kill your gay characters, don't make sensitive men the butt of the joke, don't make your women fight over men (unless it's the point), etc.

set physical restrictions! For example, max amount of pages per upload, max amount of pages for the whole story, max amount of characters, etc.! That literally forces you to problem solve, which by definition is creativity! Like, oh you can't do this the obvious way? Do it the creative way! That's way more fun!

I could probably go on, but this is too long already! But I hope it at least helped somewhat!

[simslegacy5083]

Today's (5/22/2025) Episode: At a Distance

The too-close roomies were trying hard to stay focused on their actual partners, but long distance wasn’t easy.

“Pregnancy is harder than I thought it would be” Skye lamented to Elyse when she inquired into how things were going “I’m doing my best to get out and keep up with my reviews, but so many foods sound awful right now, and I’m so sleepy ALL the time. Not to mention…”

“I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling” she interrupted “How about you take your mind off it and tell me about some of fun new places you’ve visited lately? I just finished this gig for this local poet, did you know The Blue Velvet hosts a weekly open mic slam jam? I made this cool sketch for him during the show. I think I might try my hand at it some week, it's been so long since I’ve written anything.”

Skye did xir best to dredge up a story about one of the local lounges xe’d been to recently. Not that I remember a whole lot about it given how tired I was. Thank grim I recorded that comedy set on my drone to take better notes and then watched it again with Betty.

Elyse had seemingly brushed off Skye’s struggles, but Betty was eager to help. “Rise and shine sleepy head” she said, shaking her friend awake.

“Wazzuh?” xe started, lifting xir head off xir laptop blearily. “Did I doze off? I need to finish this piece, its due tonight!”

“In a minute,” she playfully swatted xir hands away from the keyboard then put a big bottle of pills and a paper sack on the table. “I ran into Angel at the market, and they got me that meal you liked so much from the secret menu. I also got you some prenatal vitamins to help restock everything our little squirmer is soaking up. Now take your medicine and eat, then maybe you’ll have the strength to stay awake until your deadline.”

Skye smiled up at her. “My savior. I kept forgetting those vitamins, and I’m starving. Nothing wanted to stay down today, but this smells delicious.”

“… the poor little critter looked so sad! I wish I’d known how to help him, sweet baby.” Betty lamented to Greyson  “you know loads of stuff; any ideas how I could make sure that little guy gets the care he needs?” … I don’t think he’d sit still for the lotion and TV therapy I enjoyed.

“No.” Greyson replied matter-of-factly, his mind already wandering to the presentation he had to finish for his communications class. “Anyway Betts, didn’t you learn anything from the flaming that angry momma gave you? You need to be more careful out there! Give the wildlife their space!”

“I guess you’re right. It was no fun having to sleep on my stomach.” she agreed, even as the expression on her face told a different story.

Greyson was too far away to realize that Betty’s concern for the tiny wild creature lingered, but Skye decided to see if xe could put an end to her moping.

“I’ve been meaning to visit the cultural center and I finally got around to it.” xe told her over a late dinner at Jungle Jam, where’d she become a regular performer. “They have lots of information on all the native species there and I learned Faraday Fizz, of all things, is known to be a natural pain reliever. There were even some stories of sims using it to help capybara’s who had been attacked in the wild.”

He pulled out a couple cans and handed them to her “I picked this up at the market. Now if you see that baby again, or one like him, you can help.”

“Skye, it worked!” she proclaimed, triumphant, a short time later “I ran into some poor little capybara this morning who looked as singed as I was the other day. I made sure his parents could see me, carefully poured the fizz on him, and he immediately perked up. Thank you so much!”

“They called me a hack who couldn’t write my way out of a paper bag!” Skye told Betty, tears leaking out of xir eyes despite xir best efforts to prevent it. “I know its silly to get all worked up over one or two negative comments, but it really hurts. I work so hard on my articles!”

“I know you do” she sympathized “I also know how it feels. I get heckled all the time when I’m out preforming. I have to be professional and not give those jerks the piece of my mind they deserve, but there are days…” she shook her fist in the air. 

“Anyway” she went on “I think I know just the thing to cheer you up!”

As they sat laughing over a game of Thumbs Up! they found themselves smiling at each other across the small table. They may not have done the best job keeping their promise to focus on their long-distance relationships, but in that moment neither of them felt much regret.

Want To See More?

View The Full Story of My Not So Berry Challenge Here

[lodessa]

WIP word search

Tagged by @greenleaf4stuff (this is such a great idea, sorry it took me a hot minute to get around to doing it!)

The Rules: Make a new post or reply to this one, whichever you prefer. Use this random word generator to generate 4 words*. Search your WIPs for those words and share the passages that feature them. Tag other people to do the same.

(*Or however many you'd like. If a word doesn't fit, generate a new one. Or choose the ones that most appeal to you from the get-go - this is a fun game after all. We get to make and can adapt the rules as we like! <3)

My Words: kidnap, separate, mountain, position, ditch, filter, bathtub, faith, hand

Fandoms: Veronica Mars, A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones, Crossover (Star Trek: Discovery/Game of Thrones), The Punisher/Daredevil/Daredevil Born Again, Stranger Things, Star Trek (Deep Space Nine/The Next Generation)

Mountain:  

“Parker, Mac’s roommate, she is one of this guy’s victims,”  Veronica says at last, breaking the silence when they are halfway across campus.  

Shit. No wonder Mac didn’t want her walking in on them and their mountain of rape reports.   

“You two close?” he guesses. Veronica takes any threat to anyone she considers a friend pretty damned seriously, so if this Parker is on that list . . . that might explain the extra intensity. 

That doesn’t mean this imposter is Aegon. There’s no way he’s really Aegon, she scoffed to herself.  Aegon had died as a babe, slain by the Mountain.  Her father had seen the body.  Connington was either delusional or dishonest, probably the latter.

I hope the Daenerys Targaryen does come across the Narrow Sea, and those dragons of hers roast them all alive in their beds, she thought, feeling a smile threaten to spread across her face at the thought.  

 Position:

“So you two… how’d you meet?” the tattooist asks, clearly trying to make small talk but also not sure what to make of them.   Brienne is used to it by now, at least that’s what she tells herself. At least it means this one hasn’t recognized them from any of those horrible articles.

“Work,” she replies, not really looking to help make that connection.

“She was stalking me,” Jaime insists on teasing at that same moment.

“I did no such thing,” she can’t help rising to the bait, “You agreed to Catelyn Stark’s deal and I was only there to make sure you made good on that promise.”

“A promise made under duress,” he smirks.

“And who put you in that position in the first place?” she snaps back, “Certainly not me or any of the Starks.”

“The Starks?” the tattoo artist asks, pausing from sketching out the design of the ring on Jaime’s finger, “You don’t mean the Stark Health Organization Starks?”

“The one and only,” Jaime offers, “You see I used to be the head of the cardiology department at Red Keep Hospital.”

The look of recognition is obvious, as is the glance back and forth between Jaime’s face and his other hand, the prosthetic one.  

Right. Life. Death. Kat remembers what happened, the blast she could definitely not have survived.  

“So, you died too, then?” she asks, well aware that this is all probably some quirk of the brain at the point of death.  It would make a fascinating research topic, too bad she is in no position to do that research now. Still, it’s what she has.  And if this is all in her mind, who is this guy?

“I did, my lady,” he nods solemnly.  

“What makes you think I’m a lady?” she questions, though it is clear that he means it to be polite.

“Everything about you,” he answers.  “The way you carry yourself, your speech.  It’s clear as day you’re highborn, regardless of where you’re from or who you actually are.”

It would have been humorous, had it not been for Tyrion’s position as Daenerys’ Hand forcing him to think of potential scandals and what the smallfolk might think upon seeing her in this state.  The Drunken Dragon was not a title that inspired confidence.  Something would have to be done.

“The Donrish seem to have as many vineyards as the Dothraki have horses,” he heard Daenerys remark to Jorah, leaning halfway over him to look out the carriage window, her hand gripping his shoulder for balance.

“You wouldn’t think it, with the price the resulting wine fetches,” Ser Jorah replied, catching Daenerys with surprisingly steady hands as the carriage hit a rock and jostled them all.  

Daenerys allowed herself to be drawn back down onto the cushions beside Mormont, curling herself up against his side and resting her head against his shoulder.   Tyrion wasn’t sure what to make of the tableau they formed, her so slight and blossoming and him solid and weathered.  Mormont, he knew, was devoted to Daenerys beyond any doubt, and in every sense of the word but he was beginning to suspect he’d misjudged the nature Daenerys’ attachment to her bear, as she could so often be overheard calling Ser Jorah.

Faith:

She had not expected to see Jaime.  For a moment her heart soared with the thought that he must have come to fight for her, despite never having responded to her letter when she’d been a captive of the faith. Something must have kept him from me till now, she realized. Of course he would never forsake me, not Jaime.

But then she noticed who was beside him.    

Brienne of Tarth was not any less hideous now than Cersei had remembered: hulking and ungainly, dressed in men’s clothing, her features out of proportion and half her cheek now marred by vicious scars.  And yet, Cersei watched as Jaime’s eyes turned from hers to look to that ugly cow, saw him reach out and clasp the girl’s hand.

She wanted to scream, to reach out and claw his eyes out, but she refused to give them the satisfaction of seeing her undone so, instead, turning to look to the other side.  She would not lower herself for them.  She was a Lioness of the Rock.

Hand:

 She’s standing by the window, arms wrapped around herself, the sunlight hitting her face like a spotlight in contrast to the dingy light of old industrial bulbs.  Her eyes are red rimmed and her usually porcelain skin is blotchy, but she doesn’t look injured, just upset and tired, like she hasn’t slept in a few days. 

“K-” is all he managed, his voice cracking at the protest of his throat right feels like it’s covered in shrapnel.

His vision blurs at the effort.  When it refocuses she’s right beside him, blotting out the rest of the world. Which is just fine with him.  He’s seen enough of this garbage world as a whole.  He has not seen enough of Kage Page.

“Shhh.”  Her hands are cool against his skin as she touches his hand, reminding him through the disembodied feeling he’s swimming in that he has hands, has a body. “Take it easy, okay.  You’re safe right now.”

She puts a straw up to his lips and he drinks from it, like a tamed beast accepting food from a domesticating hand.  He watches her bite her lip as she sets the cup back down, placing her hand once again against his

“Sorry about the power,” Eddie says, coming back into the bedroom with a lit candle in one hand and half a dozen unlit ones and a lighter in the other, “the trailer park tends to get last priority in terms of getting back up and running after one of these storms.  I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to go home, where you can safely assume the lights are back on.”

“I feel safe here,” Chrissy insists, and once again something inside him unclenches, like it always does when he prepares for her to pull away and then she doesn’t.  He would have thought that by now there wouldn’t be anything left to relax but apparently there still is.

“I’m not going to let you escape, just because you make yourself… agreeable to me,” Aly insists, though the sharp intake of breath she takes as Asha slips her hand inside of her smallclothes undermines the message.

“I know that well enough,” Asha promises, fingers running through the thick patch of hair until she finds her destination, “You aren’t a man after all.”

Aly would do her duty as she saw it, no matter what.  That’s one of the many differences between them. Not that it matters. As she has said to them all too many times to count, where would she even go?  They are in the middle of a blizzard, slowly starving to death surrounded by a hostile army, deep in the heart of the northern winter.  

Aly blushes, whether at Asha’s words or because she’s so wet already when Asha’s fingers go to spread her open.   There was a time where Asha would have found this cause for mockery, but now she finds it as endearing as the she bear’s crooked teeth and mulish stubbornness have become.

“Have you ever been with another woman before, Mormont?” Asha asks, as she presses two fingers into Aly right off the bat, trying to get her to flush a deeper scarlet, “Or just the bears?”

“Who says they weren’t female bears?” Aly teases back, working the front of Asha’s shirt open.  There’s that dry humor it took her ages to realize Aly even possessed. 

“Damnit” Veronica exclaims, drawing his attention back from Mac’s explanation and the document he is looking through to her clutching one hand in her other, her soda can lying crumpled on the floor.

V lets him pry the hand she was holding the can with until a moment ago open and he can see the sharp gashes made by its aluminum welling up with blood.  

“You have anything to clean this with?” he asks Mac, taking a closer look, “and maybe some tweezers in case some shards of the can got stuck.”

He can feel Veronica’s pulse racing against where he’s steadied her hand with one of his around her wrist and she’s not meeting his eyes or insisting she’s fine and he doesn’t need to be fussing about it. She isn’t even spouting off stupid quips about super strength or playing doctor or some shit. That worries him more than her bleeding hand. Something is definitely wrong that’s not just Madison being her usual self or Lamb being his usual self.     

“Are you sure, this isn’t about getting back at Worf?” Deanna places her hand on Jadzia’s and looks her in the eye.

“Does it feel like that’s what it’s about?”

“No,” Deanna concedes, turning more fully towards her, “That isn’t what it feels like.”

“Then what are you waiting for?”

Deanna leans in the rest of the way to meet her.  There’s a moment where Jadzia can’t help looking at the way that her breasts shift within the asymmetrical neckline of that dress.   Then she’s got Deanna’s open mouth on her own and she sets aside that thought for a moment.

Her hands move to Deanna’s hips, feeling the other woman’s willingness as she draws her closer.

“An ice bath in the Hudson will do that to you,” he says but nothing about the way he’s looking at her matches the carelessness of the phrase.  

“You’d know,” she comments, biting her lip as Frank reaches out a hand towards her cheek but then stops short.

“I’ll see what’s lying around that you could wear so you can get out of those wet clothes.” He visibly jerks back, like a marionette being yanked on a string.

Karen swallows hard, fingers digging into her arms through the wet fabric.  The fact that she (once again) nearly died starts to penetrate along with the icy cold.

“Frank,” she says, causing him to pause mid turn away from her.   “Thank you. For saving my life.  Again.”

He just inclines his head slightly, an acknowledgement more than an acceptance.  Karen looks down at her feet and sees the pool of water surrounding them from the way her clothes are dripping.  She struggles with the buttons trying to remove her outer layer because of the way she’s shaking.   

“Can I?” Frank asks, setting down a bundle of clothing on the table and indicating her fumbling.  She nods, dropping her hands to her sides and looks up away to the side towards the ceiling, trying not to watch as those hands that are so accustomed to killing and maiming carefully undo the dainty fake pearl buttons of her cardigan.

Tagging (one for each excerpt): @snowbryneich, @electricbluebutterflies, @romeorevoarchive, @hunter-gatherer-stuff, @janiedean, @deliriumsdelight7, @phoenixwrites, @oliveksmoked, @themalhambird, @fandomsbyladymelodrama, @pixiedane, and @feeisamarshmallow. Anyone who wasn't tagged but wants to play, feel free to act as if you were tagged.

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

His avoidance

I read this quote a few days ago and it reminded me of these two:

Source: Marriage.com YES! MARRIAGE DOT COM LOLOLOL!

So since I already went over her avoidant behavior 🔗 that might have as well cost us SYDCARMY this season:

Now I am gonna be fair because Carmy is avoidant too but differently. They are like "50 shades of I DON'T WANNA DEAL WITH MY FEELINGS, I RATHER COOK".

And in the bonus track, I will focus on the only great part of being a master avoidant.

So, Carmy... His avoidant behavior is a different shade of avoidance because while also being a defense mechanism, it is rooted in his C-PTSD, which he described in the AA meeting S1 monologue pretty well. He grew up in a totally different environment than Syd 🔗 but he also felt lonely and that scared him emotionally.

Avoidance resulted from that emotional scaring process that affects him even to this day. C-PTSD and PTSD are not the same, so it's important not to misdiagnose the two. Also, C-PTSD can cause autobiographical memory gaps but it only affects functional memory.

That being said, Carmy is extremely self-aware because he is an introvert. My theory also includes his AUADHD type, but I will not dive into that neurodivergency in this post, I will focus on his introverted type and avoidant behavior. That self-awareness is what differentiates him the most from Sydney who is an ambivert (extra-introvert). She defaults to denial, and he defaults to sublimation.

I went over his sublimation several times:

Here 🔗

Here 🔗

And here 🔗

Yeah... I gave it some thought ok?

Carmy doesn't avoid feeling, he avoids acknowledging, but he's not in full-on denial, he just dances around an idea, a concept he's fully aware of, and then decides to disregard it thinking that by doing so it will disappear. It doesn't and then it becomes ART.

It becomes ANGER.

It becomes INSOMNIA.

Just like in Syd's case, it becomes PANIC/ANXIETY.

It becomes ADDICTION.

It becomes silence that feels like something crashing his chest and not letting him say the words he wants to say OR cry. It becomes PARALISYS.

And he runs away from it by cooking or sketching, smoking, etc. Instead of facing it even if it hurts, elaborating on it and letting it out verbally, crying his heart out if necessary, and eventually healing.

I am positive that ended in 03x10 when he was strong enough to confront his nemesis and then have a good cry, finally!!! I was sooo happy for him, it broke my heart, but I was happy. He's finally on the mend.

Carmy will continue avoiding feelings he doesn't feel ready to cope with, deflecting and diverting to other stuff to fool himself, sure!

But this will not traumatize him anymore.

He will go about it differently now that he can let out certain things that were stuck in him for far too long. This will also enable other "un-stuck" processes, such as finally leaving C behind after having an adult conversation / giving that relationship the closure it deserves, which he has been avoiding since last season.

But for that, he will have to quit avoiding the reason why he stalled it in the first place, which I explained → here 🔗

I am sure S4 will be all about that because that's exactly where he ended last season, so it's the logical progression:

I bet everything on his success.

Avoidants are masters of the unspoken communication

Bonus track: Both Carmy and Syd are masters of unspoken communication, that's also why they end up overdoing it, they end up abusing that skill they have and it turns counterproductive. But it is a skill nonetheless. THOSE LOOKS, THOSE SILENCES, THAT UNSPOKEN LOVE, THEY CAN SAY IT ALL WITHOUT PRONOUNCING A SINGLE WORD OR BETWEEN THE LINES OF THE FEW WORDS THEY SAY. THEIR TRADE MARK. THEY MASTER SILENCES AND INFLECTIONS LIKE NO OTHERS. THEY CAN SAY IT ALL "DIFFERENTLY".

They got this. Let's give them more time. S4 is gonna be all about them learning to use their words "properly" after they stop avoiding the conversation they owe each other.

Remember to follow my tag #Gingerpovs 💋

[ninthfeather]

the battle lives inside of me

Fandom: DC Comics/Batman Summary: Jason has a fibro flare. (also on AO3)

A/N: Title from "Brave" by Gio Navas, which is an FMA fansong but fits really well for this particular fic. Thank you to FabHawk for beta-reading!

Btw, one of the OCs uses she/they pronouns and Jason alternates, so I promise those aren't typos. Warning for some internalized ableism from the POV character.

Jason woke up to scorching pain across his back and had a brief moment of panic. He was in a warehouse, his nose was clogged with blood, there was a digital countdown clock burned into the inside of his eyelids and beeping filling his ears--

And then he shifted, slightly, and smelled that new detergent he used to wash his bedsheets the day before last. He was in his safehouse at the edge of the Bowery, the one that Oracle actually knew about, and he wasn’t a terrified fifteen-year-old anymore, he was the fuckin’ Red Hood. And the Joker was in Arkham, for however long that lasted this time.

The pain was mostly in his back and shoulders, but he can feel it radiating into his neck and arms. It wasn’t the normal backache he got from spending too long hunched over case files or not quite bracing right when he shot. This was the bad stuff, the kind of pain that used to knock him out for days back when he was still with the League.

Talia used to threaten him into getting up, but eventually it stopped working. She actually stabbed him a few times before she figured out that it wasn’t a lack of motivation on his part. Jason could deal with injuries, could push through being tortured, but this was sudden, without warning, and completely unabating. None of the medicines the League had touched it--even the hard stuff, which he hated taking anyway, only made him loopy enough not to care, without actually diminishing the pain at all. Heat, cold, soft beds, hard beds, nothing completely wiped it out. He’d thought it was a souvenir from the Joker, that the Pit hadn’t fixed everything--but Talia insisted that wasn’t how the Pit worked.

It wasn’t until years later, until after he got his head on straight and sketched out something resembling a truce with the Bats, that he actually got any answers. He’d forced himself to go to Leslie when it got bad, and she’d immediately started peppering him with questions. She kept about a pint of his blood for testing after writing two pages of notes on him, and then she went radio silent for a month. 

When she’d called back, she’d been almost frustratingly gentle as she explained how sometimes people who had difficult childhoods stored that hurt in their bodies, and only found it again once they grew up. How she had no idea whether a magic pond would bother fixing the way Jason’s body had reacted to spending most of his early childhood stressed out. And that they didn’t really know how to make his body stop hurting, just how to make the pain a little less severe.

Jason had meds, now, ones that actually worked, and a plan for how to navigate this crap. The meds wouldn’t kick in right away, but that’s why he had lieutenants, and for that matter, why he hadn’t kicked the Bats to the curb. 

He started with the basics, firing off a quick text to Dawson and Ali about covering his patrol routes.

As he expected, Ali called less than a minute after he pressed send. “Remember how you had Juanita reorganize the safehouse?”

“If you want to know where she put the backup gear, call them,” Jason said.

“She hates me,” Ali whined.

“She hates that you leave your empty tupperware in the fridge,” Jason corrected. “Stop doing that, and they’ll warm up to you.”

Ali groaned. 

“Listen, and you can spread this around for me--I don’t want to hear about anything less urgent than an Arkham breakout today,” Jason said. “If no one on site knows how to handle something, call Jess. If she doesn’t know, just let it sit ‘til tomorrow. And if someone wants to talk to me directly, I’m unavailable. Got it?”

“You got the flu from Bea, didn’t you?”

“If you call again you’re going to voicemail,” Jason said. 

He hung up, texted Mareenah about checking in with the working girls on her way home from her legal job, then dialed Jess.

“Hey, Jess speaking, may I ask who’s calling?” she started.

“Jess, you’re in charge today,” he said.

“Red, do not do this to me, Juanita is five seconds away from wringing Ali’s neck--”

“I pay you more than the rest of those disasters for precisely this reason,” Jason said. 

Jess sighed. “Fine. But I can’t actually go in.”

“This is the day you have office hours, right?” Jason said. 

“Those freshmen's questions won’t answer themselves,” Jess said.

Jason felt for her, he really did. If there was any job more thankless than being a Gotham vigilante, it was being a Gotham University adjunct professor.

“I just need you to be on call in case anything happens,” he said. “Dawson and Ali have patrols, Mareenah’s checking in with the girls, and Juanita should be stopping by the safehouse anyway, so all I really need is someone for them to ask annoying questions.”

“And that someone can’t be you today?”

“And that someone absolutely cannot be me today,” Jason affirmed. “I’ll check in within 24 hours, but for now proceed as if I’m out of the country.”

“Can’t this happen a little farther from midterms, just once?” Jess asked.

Jason wished he had that much control over what was happening.

“‘Fraid not,” he told her. “But Jess? Thanks.”

“Welcome as always, Red,” Jess said, but he could tell her heart wasn’t quite in it.

“That’s all, talk to you later,” he said.

He hung up halfway through Jess’s unenthusiastic “Bye.”

It sucked, having to rely on people like this. 

Jason liked to be relied on, to be the one helping other people. He liked taking care of people because it was what his Mom and then Bruce had raised him to do, and because being able to see proof that people were better off with him than without him helped with the particular screws he had loose in his brain.

But relying on others? That was less than fun. Being indebted to someone, even someone who would never dream of collecting, felt like running out from behind cover and waiting to see what direction the sniper bullet would come from.

He tried to ride out the discomfort, the way his therapist said to do, but he could still feel it in the tight grip he had on his phone and the harsh tone of the text he sent to Oracle’s burner phone.

Taking myself off the roster for 24hrs. Hand over everything you have on Gerald Winters to RR; the case is his now.

She messaged back immediately, What’s wrong?

Something came up on my end, he replied.

Are you sick?

Sure , Jason said, which wasn’t even technically a lie.

You need anything? I can have one of the kids or N do a grocery run.

I’m good.

She sent him that “press X to Doubt” meme, which was frankly rude.

I can take a picture of my medicine cabinet and my fridge, if you need proof.

Ok, ok, I’m backing off. But text if you need anything. 

Jason sent K, and then closed the thread.

Probably, he was still going to end up with at least one of Bruce’s hangers-on trying to bring him soup, but hopefully by the time they coordinated it, he’d be mobile enough to pretend he had a twenty-four hour bug.

In the meantime, he levered himself up enough to turn on the TV, and clicked on the first Austen adaptation that showed up on Netflix. He didn’t recognize it, which meant it was probably going to be hilariously bad, but getting upset about awful movie adaptations was also distracting, and he needed a distraction.

He settled in to watch and waited for the meds to kick in.