#I can be sad and cry without feeling ashamed

[story-book-sillies]

Btw the best thing you can do when you’re feeling sad is let yourself be sad.

I’ve been having a really hard time lately. I’ve been in and out of depressive episodes, feeling unloved and unwanted, having negative thoughts about by body/appearance, my anxiety is through the roof, and all around I’m just struggling mentally and emotionally. I have no time nor space to regress, and when I do, it’s involuntary which is scary because I’m a secret regressor. But one thing that has helped me immensely is allowing myself to be present through my emotions and just let myself be sad.

Being sad isn’t a bad thing. You are allowed to be upset. You’re allowed not to feel happy all the time because it’s human. I know there’s countless other posts like this one that talk about this but it’s true. And especially for regressors like me because regression isn’t always happy regardless of the stereotypes.

I grew up being told “don’t let your emotions get the better of you,” and “don’t be so emotional, it’s not something to cry about,” and yeah, there might be some truth to that. But like, you’re allowed to be sad about something even if the people around you don’t understand why it’s making you sad. Because it’s your sadness.

And if you feel like you’re in a place where it’s not safe to cry (the people around you shaming you for it for example) then release your emotions in a safe place. I cried in the shower today which was my very first time doing that, but as cliche as it sounds, it was so freeing. Because nobody could hear me and I could cry for as long as I needed to. I’ve also cried before bed. Pillows are a great way to muffle cries and dry your tears. If you can’t cry at home, go somewhere outside where you know you won’t be interrupted or bothered. Whatever works for you.

Just cry if you need to. Be sad if that’s what you’re feeling. And then pick yourself up when you’re ready. I promise that feeling your emotions and responding to them doesn’t make you bad or shameful. 🩵

[missdynamighttt]

About the interview thing where Bakugou say "when I make love to my wife", here is a few more lines he could say! Imagine Bakugou softer when talking about that. He has a lost look and a strange smile on his face, all because of his girl.

"The bed it's our kingdom and she's my queen".

"That's where I belong. In her."

"Being a hero is just my job, something I'm good at for a while. But making love to her? There's nothing better. Knowing that I'm the only one who can make her feel like that, who can adore her like that... And she's the only one for me too. Nothing else matters. Not the fights, the danger, the villains, the paperwork, the pressure or the expectations. Just a husband and wife loving each other all night along."

And in this context, Bakugou would say that he finds pathetic and sad that a man only lasts a few minutes and only one round. Sometimes he hears his fellow heroes talk about sex and he can only feel sorry for their girlfriends, but also proud to know that his wife will never know how those girls feel, because for Katsuki Bakugou if a man is not willing to last at least all night, if each round does not last more than 10 minutes, if he does not have his woman crying with pleasure and love, If he doesn't make her not remember how many times she came, if he don't have sex with her every single day without miss, if she is not on the verge of fainting without being able to walk the next day, is the man really a man or just a poor attempt?

as your husband walks through the threshold of your home, the sound of the lock clicking behind him echoes in the quiet room. katsuki immediately notices the change in the air—there's an awkward tension that wasn't there when he left.

you’re avoiding his gaze, busily moving around the kitchen, trying to keep your mind occupied. you’re embarrassed, the thought of his words replaying in your mind again and again.

the fact that he shared such... intimate, genuine thoughts with the entire world... it wasn’t that you were ashamed, but the sudden attention on your private life caught you off-guard.

"so... you’re gonna act like you didn’t just see me on tv?" katsuki says with a hint of curiosity, and a touch of worry as he notices how your back was turned away from him.

without a word, you feel the heat of his body as he presses himself against your back, his strong hands settling on your waist. he presses his lips to the side of your neck, warm and soft against your skin. it starts off slow and gentle at first, but there’s an underlying urgency to it, a need for your attention.

"i'm sorry, baby," he murmurs between kisses. "i didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, alright?"

"katsuki," you scold as he apologizes, your breath hitches when he places a particularly slow kiss on your collarbone, warmth from his affection still lingering in your chest.

"i’m sorry… but i don’t regret saying any of it. you’re my wife, and i’m fuckin' proud of it. i'm the one who gets to love you like this. i'm the one who gets to fuck you so hard you see stars."

katsuki doesn't stop kissing you, his kisses growing more insistent, but you don’t let him off the hook so easily. you finally turn around, gently pushing him back, even as your heart races.

"i just can't believe you said all that. on live tv," it’s clear you’re not mad, unsure of how to handle this side of him— this soft, unfiltered honesty as his lips trail down your neck to your shoulder.

his fiery gaze softens just a little, and then presses another kiss to your lips, this one slower, deeper, as if to reassure you. "i know, baby, i'm sorry. just… don’t ignore me, okay? it hurts."

"you’re unbelievable," your voice holds more affection than you’d like to admit. "you just gonna let millions of people know how much stamina you have, huh? bet they all think you're some kind of—"

sex god. but before you can say it, katsuki presses a firm kiss to your lips, cutting off your words, his hands slipping around your back to pull you in even closer. he doesn’t let you retreat this time, his lips working their magic on you, unable to ignore the way your body betrays you.

"don't fuckin' care. you're still my wife, sweets. you’re the only one who matters to me. maybe i just need to show you how much i love you. properly."

you scold him with a half-hearted shove, but there's no real heat behind it. "you really know how to make a woman want to kill you and kiss you at the same time, don’t you?"

as he pulls away just enough to look you in the eye, feeling the heat of his gaze. you can’t deny the way his words, his kisses, have melted the tension between you. "you know you're the only one for me, sweets. always."

"i know. but you’re still crazy for doing that."

he chuckles, pulling you close, burying his face in your hair. "yeah, well… crazy’s what you get when you’ve got an amazin' fuckin' wife like you."

‎‧₊˚✧[ it's me, kia ! ]✧˚���‧ ｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ ‎‧₊˚✧[ more of katsuki ! ]✧˚₊‧

⋆˚࿔ kia's note ˚⋆ SHAMELESS KATSUKI ENJOYER NUMBER TWO OMGOMG

[coriihanniee]

WHEN YOU CRY OVER YOUR PET જ⁀➴

۶ৎ PAIRING : boynextdoor x gn!reader ۶ৎ GENRE(S) : established relationship, fluff, hurt, comfort ۶ৎ WARNING(S) : mentions of pet death/grief, emotional distress/crying, heavy emotional comfort from the boys, reader is overwhelmed, author got carried away at Leehan's (heh...) ۶ৎ WORD COUNT : 0.4k - 0.7k words

۶ৎ A/N : This was a request from my lovely @reibelhearts ! I hope this headcanon fic gives you the much needed comfort that you need! 💕 I understand how it feels to lose a beloved pet so I was more than willing to write this! To all our furry 🐶🐱 (and fishy 🐟 or feathery 🕊) friends who have crossed the bridge, you are so, so loved! 🫶

SUNGHO₍^. .^₎⟆

۶ৎ you didn’t mean to cry in front of him.

۶ৎ he’s been so busy lately—filming, rehearsals, barely getting enough sleep.

۶ৎ you kept it to yourself, thinking, "he doesn’t need to worry about this too."

۶ৎ you told yourself you'd be fine...

۶ৎ but when Sungho walks through the door, gym bag still slung over his shoulder, and asks, “Hey, baby. Have you eaten yet?”—something in you just breaks.

۶ৎ the way your face crumples and you look away too quickly. The way your voice doesn’t even make it out. He freezes.

۶ৎ “Wait—what’s wrong?”

۶ৎ you try to shake your head, but it’s too late. You’re already crying, and you can’t stop.

۶ৎ his bag hits the floor. He’s at your side in two seconds flat, kneeling down like you’re something precious he’s scared to touch too roughly.

۶ৎ you choke out the words. “They’re gone.” And he understands immediately.

۶ৎ “Oh… babe.” His voice is so soft. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

۶ৎ you just shake your head. “You’ve been so busy. I didn’t want to ruin your mood or mess things up for you—”

۶ৎ “You’re never ruining anything,” he cuts in, already pulling you into his arms. “You’re my person. If something hurts you, it matters.”

۶ৎ holds you close until your shoulders stop shaking. One arm around your back, one hand stroking your hair like it’s the only thing keeping him grounded.

۶ৎ Simba the cat slinks in slowly, drawn by the stillness. He pauses, sniffs the air like he’s picking up on your sadness, then hops into your lap without hesitation. Settles in. Purrs.

۶ৎ Sungho glances down. “He’s doing that thing again where he pretends he’s not affectionate, but he is.”

۶ৎ you sniffle, laughing a little through your tears. “Yeah… I can tell.”

۶ৎ he leaves for a bit and comes back with your favourite drink, a warm snack, and a tiny plushie that vaguely resembles your pet. “Simba helped me pick it out. I mean, he stared at it for three seconds, which I’m taking as a sign.”

۶ৎ you don't have to ask him to stay. He already is. Sitting cross-legged next to you, blanket pulled over both your legs, one hand resting gently on your knee. Just enough to remind you he’s there.

۶ৎ “You loved them really well,” he says after a long silence. “That’s why this hurts so much. That’s not something to be ashamed of.”

۶ৎ Simba curls up against your leg again, tail flicking lightly. Sungho adjusts your blanket. Then again. Then a third time for good measure.

۶ৎ you don’t say anything about it, just lean your head on his shoulder.

۶ৎ later, when you fall asleep mid-tears, you stir just enough to hear him whisper :

۶ৎ “I’m so sorry, love. You didn’t have to go through this alone.”

RIWOO ʢ·͡ᴥ·ʡ

۶ৎ you’d been texting him normally. Maybe quieter than usual, but nothing that would set off alarms. 

۶ৎ he was busy anyways—schedules, fan signs, a music show later that night. You didn’t want to weigh him down.

۶ৎ but something about your last message sits weird with him.

 ۶ৎ just a “hope rehearsal goes well” and a photo of your pet’s collar, sitting alone on the table.

۶ৎ Riwoo doesn’t reply right away, but he does show up at your doorstep unannounced. 

۶ৎ he knocks gently. Doesn’t say a word when you open the door with tear-swollen eyes and a barely functioning voice. Just holds out his arms, like of course he already knew.

۶ৎ when you finally manage to whisper, “I didn’t want to bother you,” he just sighs into your shoulder.

۶ৎ “You didn’t,” he murmurs. “I just… I know that look.”

۶ৎ he doesn’t flood you with questions or try to say anything deep. Instead, he walks into your apartment like it’s muscle memory, sets a plastic bag on the table, and pulls out your favourite drink and a weirdly cute rice ball shaped like a dog. 

۶ৎ “Not gonna lie,” he says quietly, “I panicked and just bought everything dog-shaped.”

۶ৎ you try to laugh and end up crying again instead. He doesn't flinch. Just lets you sob into his sleeve, gently rubbing your back in slow, grounding circles.

۶ৎ that evening, just when you think he’s about to leave, he kneels down by the front door and starts undoing a carrier bag. You blink. “Riwoo…?”

۶ৎ out pops Daebak—tail wagging, tongue out, already sniffing around your living room like he lives there.

۶ৎ “I figured,” Riwoo says, brushing invisible fur off his hoodie, “you might be too lonely tonight.”

 ۶ৎ he hands you a leash. “He’s loud. And dramatic. But he’s got good taste in people.”

۶ৎ you blink back another round of tears. “You’re letting me borrow your dog?”

 ۶ৎ “Just for tonight. Unless you need him longer. Then it’s... a long-term lease.”

۶ৎ the next few hours are quiet in the best way. You and Daebak curled on the couch, and Riwoo beside you with a portable speaker softly playing some lo-fi music.

۶ৎ he doesn’t ask you to talk about your pet unless you bring it up. When you do, his eyes don’t leave your face the entire time. He listens like he’s trying to memorize the way you describe them. 

۶ৎ “They sounded loyal,” he says eventually. “Like the kind of pet who’d follow you into hell and back.”

۶ৎ you nod. “They were.”

۶ৎ before he leaves, he sets down a Tupperware box. “Jjangyi’s food. Daebak’s picky.”

۶ৎ “Wait,” you say, panicking a little, “what if he misses you tonight?”

۶ৎ Riwoo shrugs. “He’s sleeping on your foot like he’s known you forever. I think he’s fine.”

۶ৎ and then, just as he’s pulling on his hoodie to head out, he turns back and says in that low, soft voice :

۶ৎ “I can’t bring them back… but I’ll come by tomorrow. With Jjangyi. So Daebak doesn’t get too smug.”

JAEHYUN ૮⍝• ᴥ •⍝ა

۶ৎ you didn’t want to tell him. He was already juggling a comeback, dance practices, and three unfinished voice notes he said he’d send “soon, I swear!!”

۶ৎ so you kept it to yourself. Until he dropped by after rehearsal—hair damp, hoodie sleeves rolled up, ranting about Woonhak eating his chicken.

۶ৎ “Can you believe him? He said I was chewing too loud. Too loud, babe. Am I supposed to chew silently now—hey, wait…”

۶ৎ he finally notices your red-rimmed eyes. Your silence. The way your lip trembles when you try to smile and say, “I’m fine.”

۶ৎ “You’re not,” he blurts, panic creeping into his voice. “You’re so not—what happened? Did someone say something? Did you get hurt? Did I do something?!”

۶ৎ you try to explain through broken words. That your pet passed away. That you didn’t want to tell him because he seemed happy and busy and you didn’t want to ruin that.

۶ৎ “Ruin—?” He looks offended. “RUIN?! Babe, if you stubbed your toe I’d cancel the whole schedule.”

۶ৎ he doesn’t try to cover up how crushed he looks.

۶ৎ “Oh no,” he whispers. “I know how much you loved them. I used to greet them when I walked in like they paid rent.”

۶ৎ pulls you into his chest, his grip tight and warm. He lets you cry, no rushing, no awkward patting—just firm, sweet comfort. Keeps whispering the same words over and over.

۶ৎ “You did your best. You loved them so well. They were so lucky to have you.”

۶ৎ later, once you’re curled up together on the couch, tissues everywhere, he suddenly looks very serious.

۶ৎ “Listen… I know nothing could ever replace them. And I’m not trying to—but like…” He reaches for his phone, pulling up a poorly lit screenshot of a baby hamster.

۶ৎ “What if… just what if… we get a little guy. Not to replace them. Just to give your heart something soft again. I’ll take care of it too!! I’ll feed it kale and whisper affirmations.”

۶ৎ you stare at him. “You want to get a hamster?”

۶ৎ “OUR hamster,” he corrects. “Joint custody. I’ll name it something cool like… Biscuit. Or President Cheeks.”

۶ৎ “…Jaehyun.”

۶ৎ “No no hear me out. They’re small. They’re fluffy. They store snacks in their cheeks. Just like you.”

۶ৎ he shows you another picture of a golden hamster in a tiny food bowl. “I saw this one online. Look at him. He’s shaped like a grain of rice.”

۶ৎ you squint at it, wiping your eyes. “Is that… Hanbin?”

۶ৎ Jaehyun short-circuits. “OH MY GOD YOU’RE RIGHT—WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE THIS.”

۶ৎ he doesn’t leave that night. Orders your comfort food. Makes a ridiculous ‘hamster Pinterest board’ on his phone full of tiny hats.

۶ৎ when you fall asleep with your head in his lap, he just sits there, stroking your hair, whispering :

“You’re not alone. Not now. Not ever. I love you.”

TAESAN ≽^- ˕ -^≼

۶ৎ You don’t want to burden him. 

۶ৎ Taesan’s got a lot on his plate right now—the group’s comeback, his family back in Gwangju, and his ever-ongoing worries about Dupal. So you try to keep it in.

۶ৎ that is, until you find yourself choking on your tears, alone in the apartment, barely able to breathe from the weight of the loss. 

۶ৎ you’re crying over your pet, the one you’ve spent so many years with, and it hurts in a way you didn’t expect.

۶ৎ Taesan knocks on your door later, his usual calm exterior cracking when he sees you, tears streaking down your face.

 ۶ৎ “What happened?” His voice is quieter than usual, genuine concern taking over.

۶ৎ you try to push him away, muttering, “I’m fine, Taesan. I just… need a minute.”

۶ৎ but he’s not buying it. He steps inside, looking at you with those dark eyes—the same eyes that often seem distant, but right now, they’re locked on you, focused entirely.

۶ৎ “No, you’re not. Talk to me. What’s going on?”

۶ৎ when you finally break down and admit that your pet passed away, that you didn’t want to tell him, his heart sinks. He already knows what it’s like to miss someone close.

۶ৎ “I… I get it,” he says softly, voice thick with emotion. He drops to his knees in front of you, his hand on your arm, squeezing gently.

۶ৎ “I know what it feels like to miss someone. Dupal’s not here, and I keep wondering if he’s forgotten me. I don’t want you to feel like that, too.”

۶ৎ he pauses, looking at you with a mix of vulnerability and strength. “I’m… not the best at comforting people. But I’ll sit here with you. I’ll listen. I won’t leave until you’re okay.”

۶ৎ instead of words, Taesan just stays with you. He pulls you into a tight hug, not saying anything but letting you know he’s there.

۶ৎ his hand runs through your hair like a slow, steady rhythm, soothing and calm, like he’s trying to carry some of your pain.

۶ৎ after a while, he pulls back, looking at you, his thumb gently brushing under your eye to catch a tear.

۶ৎ he doesn’t try to give you solutions or rush you through your grief. He just sits with you, the silence speaking volumes.

۶ৎ eventually, you end up sitting on the floor together, as he pulls out his phone and shows you a video of Dupal trying to chase after a car (unsuccessfully, of course), and you can’t help but chuckle through the tears.

 ۶ৎ “I hope he remembers me. Just like I’ll never forget him… And I’ll never forget you either.”

۶ৎ when he leaves for the night, he gives you a long, lingering hug, his hand resting on the back of your head. “Call me if you need anything, okay? Don’t keep it to yourself.”

LEEHAN ⋅˚₊‧ ଳ ‧₊˚ ⋅

۶ৎ you hadn’t told him. You didn’t want to disturb him, especially when he was in the middle of his busy schedule. 

۶ৎ Leehan had been trying so hard to make sure everyone was good, especially the members, that you didn’t want to add to his plate.

۶ৎ but you couldn’t keep it in forever. You tried to push the sadness away, but it caught up with you when you least expected it. 

۶ৎ you’re sitting in your apartment, curled up on the couch, when you suddenly get a message from Leehan.

۶ৎ “Hey, Coni misses you! And I have some new fishes to show you, want to come over?”

۶ৎ you don’t respond right away. Instead, you let out a shaky breath. The offer seems so simple, but it reminds you of the pet you just lost. The one you cherished.

۶ৎ you try to talk yourself out of going, but before you know it, you’re heading to the dorms anyway. Maybe seeing Coni will help. Maybe seeing Leehan will help.

۶ৎ when you get there, he’s already in the living room, his arms spread wide as he greets you.

۶ৎ “Look who’s here! Coni’s been waiting for you all day!” He’s excited and cheerful, but there’s a softness in his eyes as he sees you standing in the doorway, quiet and looking like something’s off.

۶ৎ “You okay?” he asks gently, walking toward you and pulling you into a hug. “You’ve been on my mind today. Come on, I want to show you something!”

۶ৎ you let him guide you to the fish tank, the new fishes swimming around. He talks about them excitedly, and the way he describes them with such enthusiasm makes your heart ache. 

۶ৎ his eyes light up as he points out each one, naming them and describing their colours and quirks in a way that’s so Leehan—gentle, thoughtful, and full of joy. 

۶ৎ you can’t help but feel your heart melt a little, but also hurt because the memories of your pet flood in at the same time.

۶ৎ “This one here,” he says with a wide smile, pointing to a small, shimmering fish darting through the water. “This is a Runny Nose Tetra. Look at how it moves, so quick and lively. Reminds me of how much energy Coni has when he’s chasing his ball.” 

۶ৎ “And this is a Gold Gourami,” he continues, his voice full of admiration as he watches the golden fish glide gracefully through the tank. “She’s really calm. The kind that just floats around, not bothering anyone.”

۶ৎ he goes on, his voice light and warm as he explains the behaviour of each fish. You watch him talk about them with such affection, and the way he does makes your heart ache with the weight of your loss.

۶ৎ and then Coni comes bounding into the room, tail wagging so hard that his whole body wiggles. 

۶ৎ you can’t hold it in any longer. The weight of your loss catches up with you, and you break down, tears streaming down your face. The suddenness of it all takes you by surprise, and you feel a tightness in your chest.

۶ৎ Leehan doesn’t panic. He just wraps his arms around you, his voice soft as he says,

۶ৎ “Hey, it’s okay. It’s okay, babe. I get it. I know how it feels.”

۶ৎ he doesn’t push you to talk about it right away. He just sits with you, letting you cry against his chest.

۶ৎ his hand gently runs through your hair, and you feel the warmth of his embrace grounding you.

* “I know how much it hurts to lose someone you love,” he murmurs, his voice tender. 

۶ৎ “Coni, my fishes… I know they don’t live as long, but that doesn’t make it any easier. And… I know this pain. It’s terrible. But you don’t have to go through it alone.”

۶ৎ he pulls back slightly, wiping your tears away with his thumb, and then says something you weren’t expecting.

۶ৎ “I’ll take care of you, okay? We’ll get through this together. We don’t have to forget them, we just… keep their memories close. Like I do with my fish.”

۶ৎ Coni, noticing the sadness, nudges you gently with his nose. Leehan smiles softly, rubbing Coni’s head.

۶ৎ “See? Even Coni gets it. He’s here with you too.”

۶ৎ he makes you a warm drink and sits you down next to him. For the rest of the evening, it’s just the two of you, talking about the silly things Coni and his fishes do, sharing stories of your pets, and letting the grief come and go as it needs to.

۶ৎ before you leave, he kisses your forehead gently and says, “I’m always here for you. And if you need time, I’ll be right here. Whenever you’re ready.”

WOONHAK ʕ｡•ﻌ•｡ʔ

۶ৎ you kept convincing yourself : he’s busy, he’s practising, he’s probably tired, and you didn’t want to be the reason he slowed down. So you didn’t say anything when your pet passed away.

۶ৎ but grief doesn’t always stay quiet. And Woonhak? He just so happened to come over with snacks and that loud sunshine energy of his, flopping onto your couch like always and immediately dragging you into his world.

۶ৎ “Guess who brought peach gummies and terrible horror movies we’re gonna regret watching at 2AM? That’s right. Your favorite genius.”

۶ৎ you force a smile. Try to laugh. Try to keep up. But somewhere between his fifth dramatic retelling of how he heroically caught a falling banana at the dorm, you break.

۶ৎ the tears come without warning, spilling down your cheeks as you bury your face in your hands, trying to hide it—but he notices instantly.

۶ৎ “Wait—wait, you’re crying?? Babe?? What—did I say something dumb? Did I offend the banana??”

۶ৎ he’s scrambling, eyes wide, snacks falling off his lap. He’s panicking—but it’s that sweet kind of panic that shows how much he cares even if he doesn’t know what’s wrong yet.

۶ৎ he practically throws himself onto the floor in front of you, crouching down to your level.

۶ৎ “Babe, hey, look at me—what happened? You’re scaring me…”

۶ৎ you finally manage to whisper it : 

۶ৎ “They’re gone… My pet. I didn’t know who to tell. I didn’t want to make you worry.”

۶ৎ his eyes soften instantly. The panic melts into care, into gentleness—and so Woonhak.

۶ৎ “You—you should’ve told me. I wanna worry about you, dummy.”

 ۶ৎ “…Okay not dummy. You’re a very smart, beautiful person, I’m just emotionally unwell right now because you’re sad and I don’t know what to do.”

۶ৎ he pulls you into the tightest hug, one of those full-bodied, engulfed by a bear kind of hugs.

۶ৎ “It’s okay to cry, you know? Even if you think it’s ‘just a pet’—they were your family. Your best friend. I get it. And I’m here, okay?”

۶ৎ once you’ve calmed down a little, he wipes your tears with his sleeve (and immediately regrets it because “ew okay I used this sleeve to open yogurt earlier wait let me get a tissue—”).

۶ৎ but then he gently sits you down, gets you water, a cozy blanket, and even puts your favorite stuffed animal in your lap with the most serious expression.

۶ৎ “Comfort animal deployment: activated. I am now your emotional support himbo.”

۶ৎ he even makes a little corner of your room a “memorial spot,” setting down a candle and printing out one of your pet’s photos. 

۶ৎ “This is their VIP section. I’m reserving it for good memories and bad jokes in their honour.”

۶ৎ eventually, he pulls you back onto the couch, your head resting against his shoulder. He talks in that soft, low voice he only uses when things are quiet.

۶ৎ “You don’t ever have to deal with this kind of stuff alone, okay? Even if you don’t wanna talk about it, I’m still gonna show up with peach gummies and a stupid horror movie and sit beside you until you feel a little more okay.”

 ۶ৎ “And if you cry again, it’s fine. I’ll cry too. We’ll sob together. Like a synchronized sadness squad. World record or something.”

@coriihanniee 💌

˖➴ reblogs are appreciated! ty for reading! <3

taglist: @lvlyhiyyih @supi-wupi @tinyelfperson @8makes1atom @s0shroe @imhereonlytoreadxoxo @mydeepestsecrects @brownetry @pumpkg @heeheesang @jungwonbropls @prodkwh @reibelhearts @beomev

[tojisrealwifey]

Crybaby — f. toji (pt. 4)

ˋ°•*⁀➷ Synopsis: When you realize your husband might still be hung up on his ex-wife.

・❥・requests : rules

・❥・characters: fushiguro toji.

warnings: mdni, 18+, themes of divorce, brief smut, angst but kinda fluff, slight comfort, sad gumi, toji's ex-wife's name is rei.

・❥・wc: 2.7k

・❥・masterlist

・❥・crybaby masterlist

"I know, sweetheart. I'm sorry."

Megumi sat slumped in the living room, his mind in turmoil as he tried to process his parents' impending divorce. Toji approached him with furrowed brows, a mix of concern and frustration etched on his face.

In a swift motion, he slapped the back of Megumi's head, gently but firmly.

"Why'd you do that brat?" Toji asks in a scolding tone, his fingers rubbing his forehead to show visually how fed-up he is.

"What?" Megumi snaps, rubbing the back of his head, he turns in his seat to reveal his red and slightly swollen eyes to his father.

Toji takes a look at him and sighs, feeling regretful for taking a harsh approach.

"I know you're mad, but you shouldn't talk to your mother about the divorce that way. She's also hurting." 

Toji had returned home and overheard your conversation with Megumi. He waited for you to leave the kitchen and observed as you headed to their bedroom, likely to freshen up in the bathroom. 

Knowing that you would take a moment, Toji took the opportunity to approach his son for a talk.

"I was being honest." Megumi retorts but fails to conceal his guilt, likely feeling ashamed of how he addressed the issue.

"Megumi, it's not your mom's fault. I messed up years ago, and that's why she's acting this way. I made her feel like a stranger in her own home, and I can't undo that pain.

Megumi sat in silence as his father spoke, his gaze fixed on a distant point, but his attention fully focused on his father's words.

"Whatever went down between us, it's not something you need to worry about. But just so you know, even if your mom and I split up, we'll always be there for you."

Megumi's lips downturned as a gesture of doubt, the air heavy with uncertainty.

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because she's your mother. The world can end but that fact will never change."

Megumi's eyes gloss over, prompting him to shut them close.

"Your Ma and I can't stay together because it's just breaking her heart more. "

"So you think she deserves better?"

"Yes." Toji answers without a moment of hesitation. Megumi looks taken aback by his quick response but isn't all too surprised.

"...But...what if she actually meets someone and starts a new family? Why would she bother with us after that?"

"Brat, do you really think your Ma would forget you once she meets someone else?"

Megumi falls into a contemplative silence, his thoughts carrying him away for a few fleeting seconds.

You wouldn't do that, he was sure of it. But he had also believed that his parents would never grow apart.

"I know your mom better than anyone else, and I know that you're her top priority, even more than me." There was not a hint of dishonesty in Toji's words.

As Toji gazes up, he notices your arrival in the room. Your eyelashes were still wet, whether from washing your face or crying, he didn't know.

Megumi takes the opportunity to offer you an apology.

"...Sorry Ma, I'm being so selfish. It's just, everything is gonna change now."

You and Toji stared at each other for a moment before you shifted your focus to Megumi. As you walked towards him, you wrapped your arms around his head while he pressed his face against your stomach, silently sobbing into your dress.

"You're allowed to be selfish, Megumi. You're our son." Your voice is so soft that Megumi couldn't help but hug you tighter.

The conversation ended in a heavy silence, with each of them grappling with the weight of their emotions and the changes in their family dynamic.

You and Toji made sure not to let it affect the atmosphere. The two of you cooked lunch as Megumi stood near the kitchen counter, lending a hand every now and then.

The three of you chatted, mostly about Megumi's college journey and eagerly anticipating his upcoming 18th birthday in less than half a year.

He enjoyed the atmosphere, letting the sadness be pushed to the back of his mind. He savored every single bite of the lunch that afternoon.

It was dark outside as your husband and son wordlessly prepared for bed. After the confrontation less than a week ago, you and Toji hadn't been sleeping in the same room. He opted to stay in Megumi's room for the time being.

But with him back, Toji was forced to move back into your shared bedroom. You had just finished brushing your hair and braiding it, as you do every night. Toji walks in wearing his sweatpants, bare on top.

"You don't mind, do you?" He asks you, walking over to his side of the bed. 

There was another pang in your heart, knowing your actions led to this. Your own husband was asking if he could sleep in his own bed. Your husband, who rarely gave a fuck about anyone telling him what to do, was asking for your permission.

"I think we're way past that phase, Toji." You joke, trying to lighten the heavy air. But no laughs follow, so you just nod in acceptance. 

"You don't have to ask, Toji." Taking the brush off your lap, you place it on your nightstand. 

Fuck, he missed you.

The two of you were living under the same roof, yet he missed you. He wanted to pull you in and place a kiss on your forehead like he did every night, but he held himself back another day.

"I'm just gonna go check on Megumi. Do you need anything?" You ask as you get off the bed.

'Yeah, you.'

Toji almost says the words on his mind, but refrains, shaking his head instead. Walking out of the room, your steps slowly lead you to your son's room. Knocking a few times, you wait for an indication to go in.

When Megumi verbalizes his permission, you open the door, watching him fluffing his pillow a few times. Just like his father, he too only wore a pair of sweatpants, choosing to go bare from the waist up. 

"What is it?" Megumi asked, confused as he took a seat on his bed. You shake your head at his direct tone, sighing once.

"Can't I check on my own son?" You ask, hands in fists as your knuckles pressed against your hips.

"You can, it's just I'm really tired." Megumi says, getting under the blanket and pulling the fabric up to his chest. His arms folded under his head, acting as a pillow while he closed his eyes.

You 'aww' at his tired face, walking up to him and sitting down beside his outstretched figure. You place a hand against his forehead, stroking it up towards his hair.

"I know, honey. Your alarms are all off, right?" You ask, your fingers running through his hair comfortingly. Softly massaging his head, you felt him relax under your touch.

"Y-yeah..." He answered, but his hesitation was clear to you, making you question him.

"Hm? What's wrong?"

He falls silent momentarily, before turning to his side, still facing you. His eyes remained closed as he spoke.

"Could you...stay here for a while?" He asks timidly, pushing his head into the pillow. You chuckle at his sudden shyness, giving a noise of approval.

Shifting yourself, you get under the blanket as well, lying down and embracing him with no hesitation. 

He softly fights against your tight hold, but you don't falter, instead attacking his face with small kisses.

"I missed you so much, baby 'Gumi." You cooed, pushing his head into your chest, pampering him with kisses.

Megumi stops fighting back, admitting defeat as he eases into your hold. Although he felt like a child again, he didn't complain anymore, easily lulled to sleep due to your warmth.

You pat his head just like you used to when he was 11 and had trouble falling asleep. Unconsciously you start to admire his features, noting what a beautiful boy he had grown to become.

He was handsome just like his father, although his face was a lot more delicate as compared to Toji. You had no doubt he took after Rei in that aspect.

You sigh, closing your eyes as you think about this irritable situation.

Was Rei watching over Megumi, even in her death? You were sure she was. This felt so unfair, yet so inevitable.

Your mind could no longer distinguish between what was right or wrong, who to blame or forgive.

'I'm sorry, Miss Rei.' You whispered in your thoughts, a heavy weight settling in your chest. 

'I know you wished to be here, to raise your son.' Your head swam with unspoken apologies to the late woman, regrets you could never voice aloud despite never meeting her.

"You're probably cursing me for hurting your son like this. Especially after Toji trusted me too," Guilt seeps into every corner of your heart.

You held Megumi tighter, feeling his form against yours. Your eyes closed, shutting out the world as you sought refuge in sleep, a brief escape from the pain.

'I won't let Megumi feel like this again.' You vowed silently. 

"Nor will I ever blame Toji for something he has no control over. That's my promise to you, Miss Rei. So please, rest easy."

Tears slipped down your cheeks, unseen in the darkness, as you clung to Megumi, hoping your love could somehow fill the void left by his mother's absence.

"Toji...~"

Toji starts to stir, warm breath wafting against his cheek. He doesn't startle awake, but when he does open his eyes, your silhouette greets him.

It was dark, yet he could make out your features. Toji moves his arms almost on instinct, placing his hands on your waist, only to be met with your bare skin.

Toji, coming to his senses now, could feel your nakedness against him, breasts pressing against his chest, legs on either side of him as you lay on top of him.

He lets out a hiss, finally becoming aware of his sensitive cock that touched your folds. You let out another quiet moan against his cheek, placing a wet kiss to wake him up.

"Fuckkk [name]...It's so fuckin' early Ma." His hand smooths over your lower back, urging you to push your cunt down on him.

"Hahhh~ missed you, Toji. Mhmmm~ m-missed this..." You placed kisses against his jaw making him shiver. The coldness of the room finally hit him, realizing his sweatpants had been removed, as opposed to just taking his cock out like he had originally thought.

You slide back slightly, the tip of his cock prodding at your entrance. You sit up, ass meeting his lap as you sink down on his length.

"Ohhhh~"

"Shiiiit~ You're so warm, babe." Maintaining your movements, your hips grind against his occasionally. Your thighs were already aching from lifting yourself and settling down.

Up. Down. Up. Down. Up. Down.

Keeping up this pattern, knowing when to clench, fingers toying with Toji's chest, playfully pinching his nipples, his fingers in your mouth, biting down to contain your moans, pussy snug around him, taking him raw in the middle of the night.

Fuck.

You were perfect.

The jiggle of your breasts, flushed face visible in the moonlight, drool spilling from your mouth and down his arm, his other hand gracing your waist with its warmth, your slick forming a ring around his cock.

It was perfect.

But not real.

Toji didn't jolt awake, but his hand came to hit hard against his head in frustration. Wiping his face to get rid of the accumulated sweat, he sighs in defeat.

Eyes still closed, he uses the same hand to feel the area beside him. Opening his eyes, he noticed your side of the bed still empty.

You didn't return?

He checks the small digital clock on his nightstand, eyes glancing over the blaring white numbers.

2:14 AM

He sighs. He caught himself early tonight.

This was the fourth time this week he had woken up after a wet dream about you. This started the day he walked away from you that night and camped out on the couch. 

It wasn't like he had never had a wet dream that consisted of you, but it was never consecutive, and...you were always there to take care of him.

After the confrontation that night, he fell asleep in distress, thoughts revolving around you and only you. He wasn't surprised to have a dream like that.

That was night one.

After having to clean himself up in his son's bathroom (since you were there in their shared room) he decided to just sleep in Megumi's bed, considering it was better for his back. He wasn't getting any younger

On night two, he had the same dream of you riding him, and although he woke up immediately, it was too late as his sweats were already soiled.

They say the third time's the charm, right?

Wrong.

After dreaming of taking you in their car, he climaxed instantly and almost punched himself after he woke up.

However, by today, the fourth night, he had become aware of his consciousness, forcing himself awake.

Turning on the lamp, he spares one look at his sweatpants, just in case, before going on the quest to locate you.

One leg follows the other in getting out of bed, his feet making a subtle 'thud' against the floor with every step. The soft sound was loud in the quiet night, but he continued, making his way to the only place you could be. Megumi's room.

He turns on the hallway lights and notices the door to Megumi's room slightly ajar. He softly pushes the door open wider, the yellow lights of the hallway flooding into the room in the form of a beam.

The beam of light was directly painted over his wife and son's sleeping figures. Your and Megumi's breaths were synchronized, snoring simultaneously. 

The two of you were clinging to each other, and Toji almost had the urge to chuckle at his son's actions, arms wrapped around your waist tightly.

If Megumi knew of this, he would likely dig a hole and climb in, hoping to vanish from existence. 

Something like this was so unlike Megumi, and this is what made Toji realize how his careless words were probably going to ruin this.

Because of bringing up a divorce, his son might never feel the love of his mother again. And nor will Toji.

"I'm sorry, Megumi. But there are complexities... things you're not aware of." "Tell me! Maybe I can help!" "No. It's something only I can fix. But, my heart just isn't ready for it."

No. It wasn't something only you could fix.

He made a mistake. That much was obvious to him, but he underestimated just how many people this could affect, where initially his intention was to be the only one hurt by this.

Instead of walking away, he should have comforted you properly. 

Instead of giving you 'freedom' in the name of divorce, he should have assured you.

Instead of wanting you to find someone better, he should have been the one to better himself.

Rei. He missed her. He loved her. Rei was a part of his life that could never be changed. She showered him with love, gave him a son, and showed him light in the sad dark he thought he could never escape. 

But she was gone, leaving Megumi in her place to keep him out of the darkness that threatened to drown him every waking second. 

So, He held on. For Megumi. He held on when he was shamed by his family. He held on when his family threatened to take Megumi away. He held on when he was on the brink of living on the streets. He held on to provide for his son. 

He held on when he didn't understand how school admissions worked. He held on during parent-teacher conferences where he had no idea how to respond. 

He held on when his son's friends were over and he had no idea how to host. He held on when he was around other parents, him being the only single parent. He held on as he saw couples walking happily with their children when he stood alone with Megumi, missing Rei's presence.

He held on. Until he found you. Because you were there to take him in your arms and hold him close, making sure he never fell back again.

And now he failed you.

Rei was a memory that he would never forget, even in his death. He was sure that memories of her would flash before his eyes as he would lay on his deathbed.

But you...

You would be there to hold his hand, letting him know that he died being loved.

He has to show you what you truly mean, but he doesn't know how.

If only his grunt nature allowed him to speak his heart. Well, he'll work hard to prove his love in any other means necessary.

Smiling softly, he steps back and closes the door to its entirety.

taglist: @lunesmai @montyrokz @boyimjustaloserforyourlove @sad-darksoul @qoumaina @4y3sh4 @mellohatesyou @abisangelss @blankwashed @m0rganit3 @c4rm1son @eichhiinem @ghostfacefricker6969 @quinnyundertow @orange-stars @lillycore @whosmarjj @keanureevessmile @esposadomd @latorsgatorz @tananaxx @cauqhtz @r0ckst4rjk @creative1writings @numblytemporary @swirlingcurses @lostinneocity @sleppyann @eneiyri @ebiharachan

a/n: how tf do you do the gradient text on here?! i'm crying in html someone please helpppp!!!!

[the-dumpster-fire-of-life]

Hiii, loved to see that you a writing for arcane again. Tbh I just loved Isha and Jinx, so could could you make headcanons for how Jinx, Vi and Cait would be like taking care of or rising a kid with a girlfriend or s/o?

Sure I can! I don’t want he post to be huge though so I’ll break it up into three separate ones! Enjoy!

Family Bound

Raising or looking after a kid was not easy by any means, but taking care of one with Jinx was even harder

Jinx does not know how to be a paternal figure, or an older sibling kind of figure

She has really bad experiences with the only ones she’s ever known, so how was she supposed to fix that with some kid she’s not even related to?

But, for your sake, I feel like jinx loves you enough to try

If the kid was your sibling, I feel like she would be more reserved and distant from the child

In some way you and your little sibling remind her of herself and Vi when they were young and it’s not a good thing

She’s only able to take care of the kid once she separated those two things and finally able to bond with the kid

It takes a lot of time and patience from you for Jinx to be able to bond with the kid

If y’all found the kiddo, I feel like it would be easier for her to take care of it more than it being your sibling

When she does come around, Jinx can be very protective of the kid

She’s more the parent that doesn’t discipline and lets the kid get away with stuff, which causes some behavioral issues and arguments between you two cause that’s not really a good thing

So she has to learn from you how to take care of the child

She teaches the kid lots of things like how to invent gadgets, to make sure they work, how to protect yourself, and lots of other things like that

On more positive notes:

You’re the main bridge between the two so when they’re left alone together, they have no clue what to do or how to bond

But you do find little bits and pieces of a genuine bond forming between the two

You see the little smile Jinx wears when she finds genuine joy in taking care of them

She wonders how anyone could abandon their child or harm them when the one she takes care of with you is so beautifully innocent and childlike

In a way the kid heals the inner child and the Powder still inside of Jinx

She takes care of them in the way she wished Silco or Vi was

And she understands them in a way not even you can, especially if they show signs that Powder and Jinx did when she was young

She likes goofing off with the kid, and she likes playing around with them

You’ve found them roughhousing and giggling more times than you could count

and you’ve found them testing out bombs, which only happens when it’s in a safe place and a safe distance away

Jinx would never intentionally harm your guys’ child

She loves them so much that sometimes it’s scary to see how attached she has become

She doesn’t know what she would do if anything happened to you or the kid

She doesn’t ever wanna scare them, which has only happpened once

Jinx was having a freak out after everything has happened, probably after Vi was found to be an enforcer or after their fight

She was going through it, yelling, breaking things and crying and screaming

She didn’t notice how scared your guys’ child was until they started crying

Jinx felt her heart break, and even if she was ashamed of doing it, she ran out

She didn’t know how to handle the gaf she scare them so much

She was gone for a while and when she came back she was visibly distant

It took a lot of patience and reassurance for her to come back around the kid without being hesitant about every move

But the kid loved her, and when she saw your child was more sad about the fact she was gone, it broke her heart and almost healed it at the same time

She doesn’t know what she would do if they feared her badly

She loves coloring with the little girl or boy, and she likes helping them figure out outfits

She likes running around the lanes with them, or going to the old hideout

The two also love messing with Sevika as the woman has now joined your little mini family

Jinx and the kid often pass out together, both on the ground or wherever and limbs tangled and snoring with drool on the corners of their lips

Which means you have to carry both to bed a lot of the time

Jinx loves. Showing he kid to invent, and how to fight and everything

She loves seeing the sparkle in the kids eye when she shows them fireworks and anything Jinx

She and the kid have a bond you don’t know how to describe

She also doesn’t try to keep the fact of who she is and the things she’s done a secret from the child

Sometimes she can be harsh, but it’s from a space of love even if the kid gets hurt feelings

She always makes up for it though

[hopleii]

mha boys with dead reader hcs . . .

content: angst. thats all im saying LMAOO jk. katsuki x reader, izuku x reader, kirishima x reader, headcanons, angst, reader is dead, not proofread and was written with jeff buckley playing in the background so its probably broken sentences because im on my period and sobbing rn

a/n: i wanted to cry but i also wanted to make it everyone's problem

KATSUKI

becomes louder in every way to block out the grief.

trains harder, yells louder, angrier, more explosive...but nothing blocks the pain out. it's louder than his biggest explosions.

no one notices that he's hurting, though. they think it made him stronger. and he thought that too.

one day, he was training with kirishima, headphones on and blasting his hype music, but he forgot to put the shuffle feature off.

mid-spar, your favorite song played. you added it as a joke but he never removed it because he wanted to see why you liked the stupid song so much

he pauses, looks at kirishima, and walks away. he sat on the bench, hands cradling his face

it's no use, though. his calloused hands will never replicate the feeling of the warm ones that were yours.

looks through your phone sometimes because you gave him the password.

he always looks through it, looking through the photos you took, your notes app

all were full of so much love. so lovely, sweet, and so awfully you.

watches all the reels or videos you sent but he never watched because he was too lazy. he regrets not watching them.

IZUKU

stalks your profile.

it brings him peace and sadness all at the same time.

peace because it's like everything was frozen in time---your posts of happy moments, unforgettable memories, it's like everything is still there. immortalized and frozen

but sadness because he knows you wont post anymore, because he knows you won't gain new memories and happy moments.

your contact is still in his phone, and he refused to let your chats be buried, so he pinned your contact.

backreads everything and when he gets to the top/the first message, he regrets not talking to you enough.

everyone is telling him to move on, to pick himself up, that he has the whole future ahead of him. but he doesn't want to see that future without you being there to witness it.

he still tries, though. he tries so fucking hard to keep it together because he knows it's what you'd want.

unlike most people who try to forget, he doesn't. he doesn't want to forget anything.

he still has you on his wallpaper and lockscreen, your photobooth photos still on his phone case

he's scared of forgetting what you sound like, because your voice always gave him comfort.

replays all the voice mails you sent him, even if it's just you screaming into the mic.

KIRISHIMA

soft, quiet grief. it's quiet, but all over the place. like everyone can feel a bit of the pain he's going through.

still friendly and fun, but his smile never fully reaches his eyes.

when he's doing something and he needs to grab something, he still calls out for you.

"babe, can you get my--...oh."

struggles dyeing the back part of his hair because he got so used to you doing it for him.

he often forgets you're not there anymore.

whenever he passes by a coffee shop, he'll pull out his phone and text his location. but before he hits send, he remembers.

when he's shopping for himself and he finds something he likes, like a jacket maybe, he looks over his shoulder expecting you to be there, because he's so used to getting your opinion when buying new things.

STILL TEXTS GOOD MORNING OR GOOD NIGHT.

whenever he's with friends, he's not ashamed to insert you into the conversation

"y/n would've found that funny", "hey, don't talk like that. y/n would kill you." "fuck, i miss y/n."

tried to date again ONCE and it lasted 2 days because he couldn't stop talking about you.

he's never getting over you. you will always be his greatest love.

© — hopleii

[jintaka-hane]

Guys, what can i say?? I fucking love Tumblr!! This is a trade I did for this lovely art <3 <3 <3 The way I am in love with it!!!! The ask of the fic was:

I was kind of looking for Smoker kind of comforting female reader who is a bit stressed and sad from work/life. Would love kind of a self confident dom Smoker who kind of turns into an awkward flustered soft Smoky when affection is returned to him. <3

@missrandomdreamer, honey, this is for you 💖

*******************************************

A Walk in Town

Masterlist

Summary: The workload at the G-5 naval base is exhausting. As the head librarian, your job is to sort, organize, and deliver top-priority reports. You're completely worn out and on the verge of burnout. When he base's Vice Admiral notices this, he decides to take you out for a walk to give you a break - something that, secretly, he could use himself too. Word count: 3400 (wtf? XD) Notes: img url; fluff; hard work; burnout; reader is a librarian; Smoker is your superior; skating; walking; brusing hands; he gives you his jacket; almost a date; awkward asking for a date; smoker is a sweetheart <3 Warning: English is not my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes I might make.

Arms full of papers stacked higher than your eyes, you feel around for the handle to the Vice Admiral’s office. The hardest part isn’t finding the doorknob without looking, no... What tests you is holding all that weight one-handed, without letting anything fall.

But you are no stranger to the task. As the chief librarian and archivist of Naval Base G-5, it falls to you to supply high-ranking officers with whatever documentation they require. Classified reports, intelligence dossiers, navigators’ journals, ship logs. The Vice Admiral Smoker is known to request them all.

"Here they are, sir, all the files you ask -aaah!"

The chair shouldn’t be there, but it’s the first thing your knees hit as the door swings open. As you trip over it, your arms struggle to hold onto the stack of papers.

The fall isn’t too painful; your palms take the worst of it. But what truly hurts is watching the endless sheets scatter and drift down like confetti around you. Hours of sorting and carefully organizing, gone in an instant.

“Miss! Are you okay?” You hear the Vice Admiral’s hurried footsteps drawing near.

“Y-yes sir! I… I’m very sorry,” you rise immediately, barely giving yourself a moment before you start frantically picking up the mess.

Ashamed and exhausted, you feel a sorrow in your chest that would bring tears if you were alone. In fact, it will make you cry as soon as you step through the door. But for now, you must hold it together. Vice Admiral Smoker is a stern and strict man, and expects nothing less than discipline from his subordinates. 

“It’s alright, leave it…” he says.

“No sir! I have to put them back in order! I have to…” you notice his military boots come to a stop beside you.

“Miss,” he insists, and you bite the inside of your cheeks to hold back the tears. “I’ll handle it. Go back to the library and rest.”

“But-”

His gray eyes lock onto yours, full of authority, but there's a flicker of concern where you usually find hardness.

“Rest.”

*********

You obey and return to your post, but not to rest.

After the recent frantic events, activity at the naval base has multiplied, and so has everyone’s workload. Captains, sergeants, and cadets, all seem overwhelmed. But while their work is visible and they’re granted breaks, yours remains in the shadows.

Locked away in the library and general archives, you spend your days organizing and sorting, barely noticed by anyone. It’s a lonely job. And it’s exhausting. Yet you don’t like to complain. After all, this is the job you always dreamed of. You fought hard to be recognized and to earn it. You have no right to complain.

Wiping away the tears you just shed after scolding yourself for your clumsiness in the Vice Admiral’s office, you glance over your schedule with a sigh. Looks like you won’t be eating today either.

06:00 — Review of archives and books. ✅ 07:00 — Briefing with superiors on new missions . ✅ 08:00–12:00 — Cataloging and digitizing information. ✅ 12:00–16:00 — Meetings with Cipher Pol to consult files. 16:00–18:00 — Study of ancient texts or writing reports.

Where were the texts to review? On the shelves to the right or to the left? Usually, you remember perfectly where everything is, but the workload is too much that your memory plays tricks on you.

That only makes you feel worse about yourself. It’s not enough. You need to keep going. Work harder and faster; you can’t let the naval base down...

Climbing the ladder, you run your hand along the spines of the files holding the ancient texts. They are organized alphabetically by mission name. A-B-C have already been reviewed. Your fingers stop at the first volume cataloged under D. At a glance, you see countless volumes under that letter alone.

Normally, you would have simply sighed and resigned yourself, but a heavy unease settles in your stomach. You don’t recognize yourself, and your eyes fill with tears again, falling down your dark circles uncontrollably.

“Miss?”

Your heart stops at the low rumble of the Vice Admiral’s voice. You hadn’t heard him enter. He can’t see you like this.

Quickly wiping away your tears, you almost hide your head among the volumes so he won’t notice. Maybe he’s here to scold you for your clumsy behavior in his office?

Though Smoker is known to be a strict man, he has always been kind to you. It’s not as if you’ve had much contact. You work in such different departments. But he’s the only one at the base who addresses you as ‘Miss,’ and not by your military rank. And every time he’s requested documents, you’ve received a kind response from him. A response muttered and muffled through his cigars... but kind nonetheless.

“I came to check if you were all right.”

All right, he’s not here to reprimand you. Yet instead of relief, you close your eyes, weighed down by sorrow and guilt.

“Thank you, sir, I’m feeling better now,” you say with your head still buried among the books.

With your small lie, you hope the man will leave. But to your dismay, he stays right there at the foot of the ladder.

“In that case, could you pass me the third volume of A?”

That volume is at head height, and your desire to please him is as strong as your wish to be left alone. So you raise your arm quickly. So fast that the hand holding the ladder slips and causes you to fall backward through the air. Fortunately, the ladder isn’t very tall, and strong arms catch you before you hit the ground.

“Woah! Got you,” he says, his voice as soft as his touch, holding you like you’re made of porcelain.

The moment your eyes meet his, a wild heat rise up your cheeks and ears. Smoker seems to notice too, because his gloved hands immediately set you down, carefully sliding around your waist. Then, with a somewhat awkward gesture, he averts his gaze from yours.

“You need to rest,” he rasps. “A little light and fresh air will do you good. So much work and hours locked away aren’t good for anyone.”

You want to tell him you don’t need it, but you know he’s right. If you keep going like this, you’ll collapse. You watch him approach one of your tables, frowning as he inspects your schedule. Your thoughts rush to find a reply, but he gets ahead of you.

“Come on, let’s take a walk,” he points at the door with his thumb. “A break would do me good too.”

Let’s? Too? Being as solitary as you are, a walk with a Vice Admiral isn’t exactly what you had in mind for rest and relaxation. Your instinct pushes you to take refuge in work again.

“But sir, those papers need to be sorted before 5 p.m. The captain of-”. 

“Those damn papers can wait a while,” he grumbles, swinging the library door open and motioning for you to come along. “And so can that captain.”

Your eyes flick from the Vice Admiral to your desk. "But-"

“Librarian,” he slips into his commanding tone as he crosses his arms with impatience, inadvertently crushing the cigars pinned to his jacket. “A walk. That’s an order.”

****************

The town where the naval base sits is small and far from charming. Sleek navy ships mingle haphazardly with the modest boats of local fishermen. But as the sea breeze and sunlight brush your skin, your whole body seems to relax. You really needed this brief escape from the base.

Smoker isn’t exactly the best company. Too serious and without saying a word, he keeps his disciplined gaze fixed straight ahead as he walks beside you, taking slow drags from his cigars. You have no idea if the walk has any particular destination. You don’t really care either. You just let yourself be carried along as the fresh, salty air fills your lungs and clears your mind.

One street leads to another. His stride is long, but despite your shorter legs, you keep up easily. After all, you’ve had military training too. As you pass through a local market, delicious smells reach you along with the vendors’ shouts. There are some food stalls where you’d like to stop and check out the displays, but Smoker doesn’t slow down, and you don’t want to bother him with such trivial things.

“Did you eat lunch?” he asks suddenly, barely looking at you. If it weren’t for the screeching seagulls fighting over some scraps, your stomach’s growl would’ve bee heard.

“No, sir.”

“Mmh,” he mutters, then he stops in the nearest street stall. 

Curious, you glance at the menu: skewers of vegetables with your choice of battered beef or hake. You're so hungry your mouth waters, but in your rushed exit from the library, you forgot your coin purse.

“Beef or fish?” Smoker asks.

“Oh… that’s not nec-”

“Beef,” the Vice Admiral tells the vendor, who hands you a pair of hot skewers with a smile.

“Thank you,” you say politely.

You would have actually preferred the fish, but you devour the skewers eagerly anyway. 

As you continue the walk, you can’t help but let out a silly little giggle, thinking that what you’re having is almost like a date. If you had known, you would have put on that pretty dress still hanging in your closet with the tag on. What nonsense, you tell yourself, blushing. When you look down, you miss the Vice Admiral’s sidelong glance.

With your belly full, the town looks different. Kinder and warmer. Some children run around playing near you, and you laugh when one of them bumps into you. Smoker remains mostly silent, and simply grumbles when he stops to light a new cigar.

When you reach the central square, people crowd on one side. Laughter and small excited shouts make you get ahead of the vice admiral’s steady steps. An ice skating rink, almost as big as your training area, has been set up for the locals’ enjoyment. Your eyes light up with excitement. You love skating! Before you can stop yourself, you’re at the edge of the rink, watching everyone glide on their skates with enthusiasm.

“Alright,” you hear Smoker say behind you.

When you turn around, his hand is already outstretched, holding just the right amount of berries to rent the skates. You don’t think he remembered the exact price from before - he probably just checked it. Under any other circumstance, you would’ve refused, but now...

“I’ll pay you back, sir.”

“Nonsense,” he mutters.

You know there’s no use asking him to skate with you. The answer will be a firm no, so you simply run to the skate rental stand, clutching the coins tightly in your hand.

The cold of the ice bites your cheeks, though the effort of skating round and round the rink brings a lovely flush to your face. You are no more than a child again .Free and laughing, unburdened by the weight of duty. Every now and then, you sneak glances at Smoker, who stands with his back to the rink, his gaze wandering elsewhere.

You try different rhythms, crossing your feet over one another, pushing off with your arms, and even taking a small jump. When you look back at the vice admiral, he’s watching you. 

The cigar smoke swirls lazily upward. He doesn’t notice the fur cuffs of his jacket getting damp from the ice on the railing. His face is hard to read, but the creases around his eyes seem to be from a smile. He’s a truly attractive man, you think to yourself. The cleanly shaved sides of his white hair suit him remarkably well.

Lost in thought, you don’t notice the man skating in front of you until it’s too late. You collide and both tumble clumsily to the ground. It’s your third fall of the day, but this one ends in a nervous little laugh as you apologize. The stranger helps you up, steadying you by the waist. When you glance back at Smoker, his brow is furrowed. He’s a bit far, but you could swear the smoke rising around him isn’t exactly coming from his cigars. Maybe it’s time to head back, you tell yourself.

The sun begins to set as the two of you make your way up a small hill. It’s a path you don’t recognize - despite serving at this base for years, you barely know its surroundings. On either side, trees and thick vegetation rise to form a small but beautiful forest. At the top, a wooden bench faces an idyllic lookout. You both sit down, each at one end, and silently watch as the open sea stretches beyond the quaint houses of the fishing village. Deep, vast, and blue.

"I come here whenever I need to clear my head," Smoker says, keeping his eyes on the horizon as the last rays of sunlight bathe the view before fading away.

That’s true. He mentioned earlier that he needs a break too. You’ve never really thought about how exhausting his job must be. Always on the move, commanding a sometimes inept group of marines, constantly giving reports, and maintaining a reputation. You’ve heard rumors that he never wanted to rise above captain, and yet there he is, carrying a heavy, suffocating authority. Smoker doesn’t know what a quiet life is, or what it’s like to have a loving wife and a bunch of kids waiting at home.

“It’s beautiful,” you say, meaning the view, and the bench gives a soft creak as he turns slightly to look at you. His white hair looks more gray now in the twilight.

“You should get out more. It’s not healthy to spend so many hours locked away and alone in the library.” 

“Yes, sir,” you reply simply with a sad smile. 

He sighs and turns his gaze back to the horizon. His profile is refined, with that silver sideburn framing his cheek just right. Then he removes the cigar from his mouth to speak, a gesture he only does when he’s truly angry… or about to say something important.

“I understand if you’re upset with me. I failed to notice how overwhelmed you are. I’m sorry about that.” 

The poorly stitched scar running diagonally across his face pulls tight as he frowns. You react quickly, trying to stop the way his shoulders slump forward.

“No, Vice Admiral. Of course not. It’s not your fault. We’ve all been overwhelmed at the base lately… you included.”

He closes his eyes and rubs his temple. “But I’m responsible for you. It’s my job to protect you… I failed at that. And please… call me Smoker. Not Vice Admiral. Not here.”

And not you, you almost finish the words he leaves unspoken.

It hurts to see him like this, so even though it’s completely inappropriate, your hand finds his on the bench.

His gloves are thinner than you expected; the warmth of his skin seeps through. As your thumb brushes his in a shy gesture, Smoker glances down. Then, slowly, he turns his palm upward to hold yours. It only takes a second for you to realize how out of line this is. You ease your hand away, settling it quietly on your thigh. His eyes track the movement, but his own hand returns to the wooden seat. When a sudden chill from the approaching evening makes you shiver, he rises and steps behind the bench.

"Come on, it's getting late," he says, and just after, you feel the weight of his jacket settle over your shoulders.

******

Wearing Smoker’s jacket feels like he’s holding you close as you walk. Like his arms are draped protectively around your shoulders. Like he’s guiding you gently by the waist. The heavy coat is way too big on you, but it’s warm and smells like him. A mix of cigars and a spicy aftershave.

If this isn’t a date, then honestly, you don’t know what is.

Smoker walks back to the naval base just as silently as he did on the way there. He’s so serious that you start wondering if your behavior at the lookout was really appropriate. You never actually answered when he said it was his responsibility to protect you… And that hand gesture? Totally out of place. You blush again just thinking about it, unaware that he’s tilting his chin slightly, watching you.

By the time the moon adorns the darkened sky and the night shops begin to light up their signs, you reach the base entrance where you must go your separate ways.

“Thank you for everything, sir. It really helped me clear my head, and I had a great time,” you say, quickly folding his jacket before handing it back.

“It's alright,” he takes it somewhat reluctantly and throws it over one shoulder, “it helped me too.”

The Vice Admiral’s pupils carry such intensity that your heart starts pumping blood harder than usual. You think he’s going to say something else, but his lips remain sealed around his two smoking cigars. Not wanting to drag the moment out any longer, you give the usual bow meant for superior officers.

“Good night, sir.” 

“Good night,” he gives you a slight nod of courtesy. 

He’s barely finished the last word when you’ve already turned on your heels, walking away with feet that seem to trip over themselves.

“Miss,” he calls behind you, and you stop at once. His voice sounds more like a plea than a command. “Wait.”

You have to lift your chin to meet his eyes when he stops in front of you. He’s a man who towers over most of the G-5 base, and you’re no exception. 

"I..." he starts, but the way your bright eyes look at him disarms him in an instant. "Mmmh, listen, since I saw you like meat... earlier, the skewers you picked," -you didn’t really pick them, but you keep that to yourself- "I-I..." he stumbles, then runs his gloved hand over his face. "Damn."

You stay quiet, giving him a moment to collect himself, and he goes on. 

"Okay, there's a restaurant in town you might like. They serve all kinds of grilled meat. I've been a few times... for lunch or dinner... always alone," he quickly adds.

He’s giving you more explanations than you really need, and you struggle to hide the smile that is spreading across your face. It’s not easy. And neither is ignoring how white his knuckles are from gripping his jacket so tightly.

“I was thinking that tomorrow, if you don’t have anything better to do. Of course, you must have things to do, but maybe... I mean, if you don’t have anyone-”

“I don’t, sir, and I would be more than happy to accompany you to the restaurant.”

As he looks at you, there they are again. Those adorable creases around his sharp eyes. It’s a restrained smile, but somehow a lovely one, that makes you almost forget the scar splitting his face in two.

“Dinner?” he asks, and his posture already seems more relaxed.

“Sounds perfect, sir.”

He nods and his hand moves slightly forward, but he seems to think twice and slips it into his pocket instead. “Very well then. Good night.”

“Good night, sir.”

*********

Back in your room, you let yourself fall onto the bed, hugging yourself as you remember the feel of his jacket on your skin. You can almost smell his aftershave again…

Tomorrow you’ll have to work hard to make up for all the time you lost today. But the thought of having dinner with the Vice Admiral makes everything feel… completely different.

You close your eyes and think about those perfectly shaved sides. You mustn't forget to take the tag off the dress before going out. :)

➡️Continues in 1 year later

.................................................

Taglist: @fanaticsnail @armiliadawn @pandora-writes-one-piece @i-am-vita @eustasscapitankid @nocturnalrorobin @daydreamer-in-training <3

[rebelssvy]

helpless ✧.*

kirishima x reader

ੈ✩‧₊˚

summary: fluff, he’s so boyfi, sad-ish some angst. he comes over and helps you bathe, when you are sad and unavailable

the water around you was warm. the air above the water was steamy. you felt helpless. somewhat in a daze.

unable to shower or bathe yourself, you felt helpless. you couldn’t move alone or without a walker. your eyes ran dry from the amount you’ve cried says before.

you never knew he would help you like this. kirishima, was your close friend, you two worked at the same agency. you grew a crush on him after he jumped infront of a bullet for you. even though he walked away without a scratch, it swooned you more then he knew.

he offered heroically to help you out. knowing the toll your body had took was a battle you shouldn’t face alone. he wasn’t going to let you say no to his offer.

showing up to your house with flowers, you felt a spark light in your dull life.

ashamed to admit to him that you hadn’t been able to get to the bath. he picked you up bridal style and carried you up your flight of stairs.

you sat in silence and stared at the ground as he helped your clothes off. you had a hard time feeling anything. your only thought being, i could love this man.

“you don’t have to be insecure. your beautiful.” he said as he combed through your hair.

feeling emotionally unavailable you shrugged at his words. he looked at you with a frown. know noticing how sad you really were.

when the tub filled up with water, he picked you up again. lowering you in. you sat naked in the tub. tears prodding your eyes once again.

you were hooked on his words. unable to stop thinking about him.

your brain fell down a loop hole, you started crying over everything wrong in your life. you cried about your injury. you kept crying thinking someone could love you regardless.

it wasn’t until you felt kirishimas hand on your face that you looked up at him. he brushed away your tears.

feeling utterly vulnerable and helpless, he let out a breathy sigh.

“i’m here now. you can cry.” he said softly.

he never looked away from your face.

·:*¨༺ ♱✮��� ༻¨*:··:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:··:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·

i am going to write about tenya i’m craving him

[im-not-a-ghost]

Mirror, mirror on the wall

What does this connection reflect back to you ? What do you see in each other that either uplifts you or drags you down ?

To find out, select one of the following groups. You can either choose based on the imagery or the number. This reading’s content might be triggering. Read only if you are okay with it. Keep in mind that this is a general reading.

Group 1

5 of swords, knight of cups, Self love, Death rx, Sugilite - Stretch the limits of your imagination - You are not your emotions, Memories comfort us "I seek out happy people who inspire me to be great."

This reading feels very personal. I felt a pang in my chest as I was shuffling your cards. And the more I saw the picture that was being depicted, the more I felt like crying. I feel like a lot of you have spent most of your life repressing your emotions and feelings for the sake of others within connections, whether those were platonic or romantic. Specifically, I picked up on wounds surrounding a masculine parental figure. When interacting with this person, the truth reflected back to you is that you shouldn't have to fight for someone's attention or love. This connection helps you heal a feeling of unworthiness that stems from your childhood. It also reflects the fact that a relationship shouldn't be thriving at the expense of your own well being and happiness. That a connection should be a safe space where you can feel free to be yourself and expand in a way that feels good for you. That you shouldn't have to pretend to be someone else to be accepted.

What you see in this person is that a partner is supposed to uplift you, not hinder you. You see that going after your dreams and doing the things that make you happy isn't a crime. You learn that your emotions are valuable and are nothing to be ashamed of. In this person, you find a shelter. A place where you can lower your mask and shield to be your unapologetical self without fearing retribution. In this person, you see a friend. Someone that is willing to listen to what you have to say and help you see things from a brighter perspective instead of finding every reason why this could go wrong. You learn that your opinion matters. That your interests aren't useless. That it is safe to cry, to be sad or angry, to feel unmotivated or scared or uncertain. That you shouldn't have to apologize for how you feel or for who you are. In them, you find a confidant.

The reality that this connection reflects back to you is that your friends, your family, the people you admire and give your attention to may not be having your best interest at heart. Nor do they provide for you the safe space you need. That they take more than they give and never say sorry. This connection teaches you the importance of your own love and perception of yourself. The importance of re evaluating your boundaries, of being authentic and surrounding yourself with the people that are going to value your true essence instead of trying to dim your light and shape you into something you are not.

Extra - What do they see in you? | Page of cups, The Sage, Black Tourmaline - Protect your light, Relieve the pressure, "I am ready to go big rise up and step into my power."

They see a person with a kind and pure heart, who yearns to love and be loved equally. Someone with big dreams and goals that they never dared to achieve. A soft hearted individual whose potential goes beyond anything they could ever imagine and is afraid to share it with the world. They see a lot of sadness too. Fear even. But more than that, they see a lot of wisdom and grace. A level of maturity that cannot be rivaled. They see someone that has been holding back for far too long and deserves to be able to let go of everything that has been hurting them. Someone that needs protection because of all the pain they've been through. Someone that's tired of fighting and screaming for peace. They see someone who's afraid of opening their heart to love again, who would rather guard their heart strongly even if it meant being alone forever rather than risking getting hurt again. But at the same time, they see how much you crave to put an end to all of that because at the end of the day, you're just like any human. You want that fairytale ending.

Group 2

"I celebrate all the grateness in my life." 3 of wands, 7 of wands, Sunstone - Take back your shine, The Weaver rx, Love rx, Stand up for yourself, Yes!

I get a lot of root and sacral chakra energy from this group, which to me may relate to fears surrounding stability, material possessions, intimacy and the body. In past connections, you or your person may have dealt with a lot of people that abused them either for their possessions, their status or their body. You may also have dealt with people who cheated on you or people who did not accept your differences but still took advantage of you. I don't know why, but I kept wanting to mention the other person instead of focusing on your energy. So maybe you and your person have dealt with very similar wounds and situations in your life. The truth that is being reflected back to you is that being different isn't always a struggle. That in a connection, your boundaries should always be respected. That not wanting the same things as your partner doesn't make you a bad person. That you have the right to say no. You are also learning that you cannot control every aspect of the connection. That sometimes, in order for things to be working, you'll have to let your ego aside and find a common ground that is comfortable for both parties. You're also learning that needing space or going after your goals are things that can be beneficial both to you and your partner, that you shouldn't have to choose between both. You're learning that being on your guards all the time isn't in your best interest and that in order to receive you must be able to give as well. The truth reflected back to you is also that not everyone is out to get you.

In this person, you see a call for the unknown that challenges you but also motivates you. You see an opportunity for change and wisdom. You see an invitation to appreciate life at the fullest and an encouragement to open your heart to the present moment. This connection teaches you to take a leap of faith and walk forward with confidence, even if you do not know what the future holds. It teaches you to see all the little things in life that are worth rejoicing about and fighting for. It pushes you to embrace all your quirks and faults, even those you think your partner wouldn't like. To look at the future with hope in your eyes and disregard any person that might stand in your way or try to get you to doubt yourself. This connection inspires you to stand tall and proud and cultivate optimism. It helps you feel safe in your body and comfortable in your shoes. For some of you, it has opened your eyes about your sexual preferences and your identity. Some of you may have realized that you were queer thanks to this connection. For others, you are healing wounds regarding physical intimacy : you may be learning to embrace the fact that being physical with someone is something that isn't your cup of tea and that there's nothing wrong with it. Some may be discovering and exploring new aspects of their sexuality that they didn't get to try before because they were taught to be ashamed of their body, of their desires. This connection leads you to uproot any belief system that was hindering your light and drive. Also, you are learning to love your body more and cultivate your creativity.

Extra - What do they see in you? | Treat yourself eat whatever you want, 4 of wands, Reflect, Cavansite - Expand your consciousness, "My high vibe thoughts create health in my body peace in my mind and love in my heart."

They see someone with such energy and love for life that they can't help but smile. They also can't help but to recognize your strength and limitless potential. This person sees you as their equal. They see in you someone that has all the qualities in life to be successful but also all the qualities that they look for in a partner. They see your trustworthiness, your ambition, your optimism and creativity and they love it. They admire your wit and communication skills. They see your strength and your ability to persevere though the road is difficult. They see a person that will never give up no matter what people throw at them. And because of that, you have all their respect and support. They see how hard you try to make a name for yourself and embody the best version of you. They see your charisma, your curiosity. Every aspect of you that makes you you, in simple words. They just love all of you and they want that for themselves.

Group 3

"I breathe calmly and easily. I am safe in this moment." Page of wands, The Star, Versatility, Speak Truth, I can only count on myself, Stand up for yourself, Hiddenite - Claim your happy place

Through this connection, you're slowly realizing that you were made to believe that in order to make it through and thrive, you should hide your light and pretend like you didn't exist. Especially for those of you who were assigned female at birth. The truth that this connection reflects back to you is that it is safe for you to exist, make noise and take room. In this case, I am picking up on rejection wounds. You are also learning that you don't have to carry your load all alone. That asking for help is more than fine but more importantly that you don't need others to be told who you should or should not be. For a lot of you, I feel like a parental figure was very controlling around you and didn't let you make your own decisions. They always tried to make you feel less than or lead you to believe that you couldn't succeed without them. You are healing those wounds through this connection. It also reflects back at you your own creative power and wisdom. It shows you that the truth of your destiny lies within you and not outside of you. It encourages you to speak louder and find your voice in life's chatter. To write your own story.

It reflects back to you how people around you trigger your foundations and create a space for you that is unstable, unsafe. How their own lack of discernment and self confidence is affecting you, your dynamics with the world and your power to manifest your desired reality. It shows you that you don't have to abide by the rules to be respected and recognized. Actually, you don't even need to be recognized by anyone except yourself. This connection shows you the value of your own beliefs and desires, and gives you the strength and determination to fight for them.

Extra - What do they see in you? | Ace of cups rx, The Explorer, Turn your tongue 7 times in your mouth before speaking, Sodalite - Deepen your intuition, "I seek out happy people who inspire me to be great."

They see a lot of curiosity and drive to become a better version of yourself. They also see your fighting spirit and rebellious tendencies. They see that you want to surround yourself with things and people that make you feel good. That you are constantly seeking to improve. That you have gathered a lot of wisdom through experience and you're able to use it whenever trouble arises. However, they also see that you've put up walls around your heart that a hard to see through. They are aware that those walls, built to protect yourself, also prevent you from finding true happiness. They see that you are not emotionally available right now and that is a fact they cannot ignore. This person understands your need to protect yourself and admires this aspect of you. But they are also worried that this defense mechanism will stand in the way of your connection. They see that they should have to be very careful around you if they want to be able to earn your trust.

[kagaintheskywithdiamonds]

I'm feeling inspired this morning so here's part 2 of what if a monster showed up to steal Ford's eyes.

"Ford?" Stan called again from behind the front door.

"Um... coming." Ford called back, trying to focus on where Stan's voice was coming from (and straining to hear it over the sound of his own heart pounding in his ears). Just walk towards the sound. You can do that. Easy.

With his arms held out in front of him in a sad attempt to sense any incoming obstacles, Ford made a few hesitant steps forward—and then tripped over something, probably a stack of books judging by the sound it made.

Ford held his arms out to catch himself, and he turned his face to the side in time to prevent his still-fresh wounds from being pressed against the clutter on the floor, but he still couldn't hold back a pained yelp as he fell. After all, his whole body was still covered in smaller wounds at various stages of healing.

"Ford??" Stan called again, and Ford heard the rattling of the doorknob as Stan attempted to let himself in. "Are you okay??"

"I said I'm coming!" Ford hollered, pointedly ignoring Stan's question (he hadn't been okay in quite some time). Shakily, he pulled himself to his feet, and, relying on his ears to guide him, made his way to the front door without tripping over anything else. He heard the crunch of papers under his shoes, and he could only hope that whatever he was trampling over wasn't too important.

His heart sank when he realized he'd never be able to read any of them again, anyway.

No time to mourn the loss of his vision, Ford forced himself to focus on the task at hand. Continuing to stumble forward, he eventually felt his fingertips make contact with the front door. He ran his fingers along the wood, over to the left side of the door, until he felt the series of locks he'd installed. He had opened and re-secured each of these locks so many times by now it was fairly easy to undo each of them by touch—until his hands felt the familiar shape of a combination lock.

That's when Ford remembered that there were two combination locks on the door. And of course he remembered the numbers needed to unlock each of them, but that wouldn't do him any good if he couldn't read the digits.

"I... I can't open the door." Ford admitted sadly, feeling pathetic and ashamed and helpless all at once.

There was a beat of silence.

"What do you mean you can't open the door?" an incredulous Stanley asked.

"I mean I am physically incapable of unlocking the door in my current state!" Ford shouted back, his voice breaking. He wasn't sure if he was physically capable of crying anymore, but he certainly felt himself on the verge of it.

"Wait. Holy shit, Ford, are you hurt?"

"...Yes." he whimpered in response. It hurt to admit it out loud. Stubbornness ran in the Pines family, it seemed. Pines didn't ask for help like this unless they were truly desperate. But Ford was. And even though it hurt his pride, part of him was so very glad he had reached out to Stanley when he had, because he couldn't imagine trying to navigate this situation alone.

There was another brief moment of silence before Stan spoke up again. "Wait there. I'm gonna break a window."

"What?!" Ford pressed his ear to the door, but all he heard was Stan's retreating footsteps back down the porch steps followed by the crunching of snow. And then he heard what sounded like Stan quietly talking to himself about finding a large rock.

Minutes later, Ford was startled by the sound of breaking glass. It sounded like it came from... the kitchen? It was a lot harder to form a mental map of his surroundings without his eyesight. He then heard grunts of effort as Stanley climbed through the broken window, followed by a thud as he presumably landed on the floor.

"Stanley? Are you alright?" Ford called towards the source of the sound. Had Stanley climbed over broken glass to get through that window? Ford winced at the mental image of his 17-year-old brother cutting himself on jagged shards of glass. Realistically, he knew Stanley probably didn't look like his 17-year-old self anymore, but that memory of him was all Ford had to work with.

"I'm okay." he heard Stan reply, accompanied by the sound of approaching footsteps. "Now what-"

He heard the footsteps stop.

And if he had eyesight, he would've seen the way Stan turned deathly pale at the sight of his brother's mutilated face.

"Holy fucking shit." He heard Stan rush towards him, and then felt Stan's arms on his, gently turning his body away from the door. He felt Stan cupping his hands around his face. "What the fuck happened?!"

"They... took my eyes." Ford choked out between tearless sobs. Ford reached up and gently wrapped his hands around Stanley's wrists, feeling at least a little more secure with his brother at his side.

"Jesus Christ. I'm taking you to a hospital."

"NO!!" Ford tightened his grasp, holding onto Stanley like his only lifeline. "I can't! Wh-what if they put me under? Then... then Bill..." and even if Bill didn't possess him, the hospital simply contained too many unknown variables. He couldn't trust the doctors and the other staff. Trust no one, trust no one!

"I have a first aid kit." Ford continued. "You can clean and dress the wounds, I'll walk you through it. It's in the bathroom. Which is, uh, this way, I think..."

"Ford." Stan said sternly. "I've packed a lot of nasty wounds over the years, but this, I mean... fuck, I'm scared I might touch your brain if I mess around in there!"

Had Ford been in a clearer mental state, he might have thought to ask why Stan was suddenly so experienced with wound care. Instead he focused on convincing Stan to treat him at home. "I have magical remedies that the hospital won't have. Although I'm... running low on that particular compound... and getting more will be difficult, especially now... but, there should be enough to treat the wounds in my face. I think." I hope.

If only Ford could've seen the look of skepticism that crossed Stan's face at the mention of magic. "Ford, what the fuck are you talking about." He said it more like a statement than a question.

"I said I have magical compounds!" Ford really did not have time to explain all the magic and cryptids and inter-dimensional dream demons that had become part of his everyday life. It didn't matter if Stanley believed him, yet. Just so long as he did what Ford asked of him. "This particular compound, well, I'm not sure what to call it." That was a lie. Ford just didn't want to say what it was called. "But it's an all-in-one disinfectant, healing agent, and topical anesthetic. We don't need a hospital. Now if you would please help me, I'm blind and I have two gory holes in my face and I need your help to clean and bandage them before infection sets in. Not to mention the pain is quite unbearable."

Ford couldn't see Stan's face. He didn't know if Stan wore an expression of annoyance, or more skepticism, or, God help him, pity, but he could hear Stan's voice, at least. "Shit, okay, I'll help you." And in that voice he could hear genuine concern and a desire to help. "So, um... which way is the bathroom?"

It took a bit of teamwork for the two of them to find it, with Ford trying to guide Stan with his mental map of the house and Stan guiding Ford like a service dog. The entire time, Ford clung tight to Stan as if his brother was a security blanket. "Is this it?" he heard Stan ask, followed by the flick of a light switch.

Ford sighed. "Stanley, I can't see anything. You tell me if we've found the right room."

There was another beat of silence.

"Ford, what the living fuck happened in here." Again, it didn't sound so much like a question.

Ford tensed up, holding Stan even tighter. "Wh-what do you mean?! What do you see?!"

"It looks like a fucking murder scene in here."

It took Ford a moment to connect the dots. "...Oh, right, the blood. That's... normal."

"Normal?! What the hell do you mean, normal?!"

Well, no, it wasn't normal. But it also wasn't new. Ford relaxed a bit as he realized Stan wasn't face-to-face with some new and unknown threat.

"Stanley, please, just... get the first aid kit out of the medicine cabinet." Ford instructed, feeling his way around until he could find the toilet. He put the lid down. "And also the uh, brown paste I have in a mason jar."

Ford heard the creak of the medicine cabinet door opening. Stanley could see that it was mostly empty, containing almost nothing but the mostly spent first aid kit and what looked like a mason jar of mud, both covered in bloody six-fingered hand prints.

"The mason jar first, please." Ford continued, sitting down on the toilet lid. Perhaps his mood would improve a bit once the searing pain was dulled.

Stan took the mason jar out of the cabinet and inspected the hand-written label on it. Ford's obnoxious cursive was as hard to read as ever, and it didn't help that the label had faded over time. But if Stan didn't know any better, he'd swore the label said "unicorn something." The jar looked like it used to be filled with mud, but only about a small amount remained at the bottom of the jar. Stan still wasn't sure what medical use there would be for a jar of mud.

Stan took the lid off, and immediately winced at the smell that hit his nostrils. "Ugh, what is this stuff?" Stan asked. "It smells like shit." It literally did.

"Like I said, it's a painkiller, antiseptic, and healing agent. Now, please, rub it on my eyes. ...Sockets."

Ford couldn't see the way that Stan physically cringed as he coated his fingers in the brown goop and smushed it into the gory holes in Ford's face. "Don't be shy. Really get in there." Ford instructed, already feeling the relief as the pain began to ebb.

"I'm still worried I'm gonna poke your brain or something." Stan remarked, dipping his bloodied hand back into the jar for another scoop of the stuff. "And you're almost out."

"Use as much as you need. Use the last of it if you need to."

Things were quiet for a few moments as Stan, trying his damnedest not to think about the grossness of the situation, smothered the inside of Ford's eye sockets with the last of the brown goop. Stan was skeptical of course that this smelly mud was actually doing anything, and he worried that perhaps he was doing more harm than good by dirtying the wounds. But he could see the relief on Ford's face as the pain apparently ebbed, and the wounds, amazingly, did look less gory just a few minutes after Stan applied the stuff. And they didn't seem to be bleeding anymore.

Finished with the brown sludge (seriously, that stuff looked and smelled like sewage), Stan set the jar aside, washed the grime off his hands, then reached for a wash cloth to clean Ford's face. Stan figured he probably should've started with that, to clean the wounds, but Ford was insistent that Stan apply the gross shit ointment first. And now that the brown stuff was in place and apparently doing its thing, Stan didn't want to wash it back out. He sure hoped Ford knew what he was talking about when he said that stuff was an antiseptic.

Stan could at least wash the blood off the rest of his brother's face. It looked as if Ford had spent hours crying blood.

With the adrenaline levels in both of them steadily going down, and with Ford no longer in terrible pain, Stanley's head finally cleared enough to ask the question he wished he'd started with. "Ford, what happened? Who did this to you?"

"I already told you." Ford said quietly. And even though he literally did not have eyes anymore, Stan swore it still looked like Ford was trying to look away. "They took my eyes."

"Okay but who's 'they'? And how, I mean- you were locked in! And there's no one else, so..." Stan began stammering. He certainly didn't want to believe Ford had lost his mind and mutilated himself. But unfortunately, with his brother talking about magic mud (God he really hoped it was just mud and not what it smelled like), and living in a horror set of a house, there was enough evidence to make that a serious possibility.

Ford sighed. "That is... a long story."

Ford heard the sound of running water as Stan rinsed off the wash cloth, wringing out the blood. "Yeah, well... I'm not going anywhere anytime soon." Stan said, opening up the first aid kit. "Go ahead and tell it."

[peterm4rker]

(❆⋆.˚) christmas miracle !

⋆ 𐙚 ⭑.ᐟ [jaemin x reader] ...୨♡୧... wc. 2.3k w. cursing, slight angst, lmk if you find any! fluff ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ

august 22nd, 2019

“jaem?” you called out, your voice barely a whisper as your head laid on his chest, listening to his heartbeat among the comfortable silence. he hummed in response, his hand continuing its caresses in your hair. “i don’t think i can do this anymore,” you mumbled, voice on the verge of breaking.

you felt his chest rise and fall with a sigh “i know,” your boyfriend answered, his tone matching yours.

“i love you,” you said, unconsciously cuddling closer to him as if you were scared of letting go. you were, because you knew that if you did it would be the last time you would be this close to him in a very long time.

“i know,” he repeated as he held you closer “i love you too, and i’m sorry.”

“i know,” you mimicked, rising from your previous position while still sitting close to him “i don’t doubt that you love me, jaem, it's just… i can’t go on with a relationship where you disappear for a week and then call me like nothing happened.” your hand found his, your fingers intertwining. “i love you, but you’re not opening up to me and i can’t understand why you do the things that you do.”

jaemin listened attentively, his heart breaking further with each of your words. he knew it was true, all of it, but he wasn’t capable of talking about what was going on when he couldn’t even understand it himself. he felt embarrassed to tell you that there were days where he couldn’t bring himself to get out of bed to eat, much less to grab his phone to call you. when two days had gone back with zero contact and he felt a little better, he was way too ashamed to reach out and just waited long enough that he could pretend he hadn’t spent days crying on his bed for no reason.

he loved you more than anything in the world, more than he loved himself, even. he also knew you would never shame him for feeling the way he did, but you would worry. you would put aside your life to help him get his back, and he could never ask you to do that, he loved you too much.

“you deserve so much better,” he spoke after a few seconds of silence, his free hand moving to cup your cheek. “i’m sorry i couldn’t be what i promised you to be.”

“you were everything and more,” you smiled sadly, feeling your eyes burning with tears “i need you to promise me something.”

“what is it, love?” he mumbled as he caressed your cheek with his thumb.

“if you still want me when the time is right, promise you will call me. i don’t care if it’s ten years from now and we haven’t spoken since, promise me you will reach out,” the tone of your words was so serious that it left no doubt on him that you meant every one of them.

“i promise i will” he gave you a weak smile, moving his hand to place it in front of you and extending his pinky finger towards you.

you interlaced your fingers with his, bringing your hand up to kiss it and seal the promise. “i should go home now,” you said weakly, tearing your hands apart from each other to wipe away the tears on your cheeks.

jaemin wanted to beg you to stay, at least until the morning so he could hold you through one more night. but he couldn’t, he knew too well that one more night would make you back away from your decision and he couldn’t hurt you any further.

“want me to drive you?” he asked, his hand feeling cold without your warmth.

“i’ll get an uber, don’t worry,” you gave him a sad smile as you grabbed your bag from the floor before walking towards him and cupping his cheek, crouching slightly to place your forehead against his. “i love you-”

“i love you more,” he answered, a single tear escaping his eyes as he looked at you one last time before you walked out of his room for the last time.

...୨❆୧...

december 18th, 2024

jaemin couldn’t wipe the smile off of his face as he walked out of his friends’ apartment. it had been an afternoon full of laughter and happiness, one of the many that had slowly healed his heart over the years. he waved goodbye to jeno, who was getting into his car to drive home. he had offered him a ride, but jaemin felt the need to walk in the cold weather, it wasn’t that long of a walk to his apartment.

even when he had been as happy as he had, he couldn’t deny that watching his friends be coupley and cute had struck a nerve he didn’t even know he had. he didn’t know he wanted all of that, someone to tease, to kiss and to have stupid ugly sweater competitions with, but he did, and that could only mean one thing. he was ready, and the time was finally right.

that’s how he found himself standing at the edge of the river, overlooking the scenery as his thumb hovered over the call button. he stared at his phone screen as he chewed at the inside of his lip, he never deleted the picture he had for your contact; a picture of 19 year old you with your cheeks being squished by his large hand.

he smiled at the sight, feeling his heart squeeze with a mixture of nostalgia and guilt. would you still want him to contact you even though it had been five years since you broke things off?

“ i don’t care if it’s ten years from now and we haven’t spoken since, promise me you will reach out.”

your voice resonated in his head and his hand moved on its own to press the button that had been haunting him for the past five minutes. he took the phone up to his ear, trying his hardest to breathe properly and maintain his calm as the tone ringed. 

what if you had changed your phone number? what if you had a partner? what if you simply didn’t want to hear from him after this long? what if he had changed way too much for you? what if-

“hello?” his thoughts were cut off by a voice on the other line. your voice. “hi?” you asked again, and he had to snap off of his thoughts.

“yn,” he blurted out, his voice sounding completely breathless. he didn’t expect you to know who it was, but he didn’t seem to be able to say anything else. there was silence for a couple of seconds, and he thought he heard your breath hitch.

“jaemin?” you spoke, sounding as if you had just gotten a call from a ghost. 

“yeah, it's me,” he breathed out, cautious with his words. he couldn’t say he wasn’t completely scared shitless in that moment.

“hi,” you answered, and he could hear the smile on your astonished voice. 

“hi,” shit, he really had to start talking more. “you didn’t change your phone number,” no shit.

“i didn’t,” you spoke “you did.”

“i changed a lot of things,” the boy spoke, a breathless chuckle escaping your lips. 

“you kept my contact,” you remarked, and he couldn’t understand how he could be so happy even when his heart was about to fall out of his ass.

“i promised i would call you,” if i still wanted you. “so here i am, i hope it's not too late”.

“it’s not,” you assured, feeling speechless at how he had actually called you.

“good. uhm, i was wondering if you’d like to come get coffee with me sometime,” he asked, his hand going to scratch the nape of his nape as it did when he was nervous. 

“i would love that, just tell me when,” a smile took over his face immediately, feeling incredibly grateful to whatever saint had made you the nicest, most beautiful soul that could’ve ever stepped foot on earth.

“is tomorrow too soon?” he asked softly, knowing that his request was a little greedy, but he had spent five years without hearing your voice and he didn’t think he could stop now.

jaemin heard you chuckle from the other line “no, it’s not,” he almost cheered at the sound of your voice “wanna meet at sunrise café at like 11?” 

“of course, that’s perfect,” he nodded, even though you couldn’t see him “do you need me to pick you up?” 

“nah, i work just around the corner,” you answered, being followed by silence. the boy didn’t know what else to say, he didn’t trust himself to say anything else without going overboard. “i'll see you there then?”

“yeah, i’ll see you there.” he said, being sure that you could hear his smile in his voice. “bye, yn-”

“bye, jaem.” you said before hanging up. fuck, he had missed the way his name sounded when you said it.

...୨❆୧...

jaemin found himself sitting in a booth inside the café you had agreed to meet in. nostalgia was flooding his body, remembering all the times you had sat on that same seat when you were together. as the minutes passed, he began to feel uneasy. had you planned on standing him up as revenge for all the times he did all those years ago? no, you weren’t like that at all. maybe you had forgotten?

“hi,” his attention was called back into reality by your voice again. he lifted his eyes to meet yours, and he could have screamed right then and there. he had always thought you couldn’t get prettier than you were, but he had no idea what he was talking about. the woman that stood in front of him was a work of art, an angel that was blessing him with the ability to look at her.

“yn, hi,” he muttered breathlessly as he stood up. he was too stunned to know what to do now that he had you in front of him. you smiled at him and he felt his heart stop, you were fucking unreal. “here, go ahead,” he muttered as he politely moved a chair back for you to sit, causing you to thank him.

“it’s nice to see you after so long,” you said once you were sitting in front of each other.

“it is,” he smiled, still trying to calm his racing heart “five years is a really long time, i’m sorry i didn’t contact you sooner,” his smile turned apologetic “i was in a really rough spot, but i’m better now.”

“there’s nothing to apologize for,” you reassured “you needed time, i understood that,” jaemin felt like he could start crying on the spot. you had always been so understanding and warm, even when he didn’t deserve it at all. “now tell me, what have you been up to?”

“well, i’m a photographer now,” he said, marking the beginning of a long, overdue conversation about life through the last five years.

hours passed with both of you sitting in the coffee shop, long enough for you to feel bad about being there for so long and deciding to go on a walk along the river bank, seemingly not getting enough of each other’s company.

“so yeah, that didn’t really work out,” you shrugged as you concluded your story about your last boyfriend, who jaemin had asked about very casually. 

“he sounds like an asshole,” he chimed in, eliciting a laugh to escape your lips.

“he kind of was, yeah,” you had to agree, nodding softly. “i’m glad that’s over, to be honest.”

“i’m glad it’s over, too,” jaemin blurted out, his eyes widening slightly at the realisation of the implication of his words.

you raised your eyebrows with an amused smile “i’m sure you are.”

...୨❆୧...

it had been a little under a week since you and jaemin had reconnected, and he could say that he had never felt so happy in his life. he knew you felt the same, he could see it in your smile and your shiny eyes.

“so yeah, i was going to go visit family but i got snowed in in seoul,” you shrugged your shoulders as you recounted your failed christmas plans. “same thing happened to my cousin, it’s like a curse.”

jaemin listened intently as he looked at your pretty face, an idea popping into his head “you could come spend christmas with my friends and i,” his voice was nervous, unsure of if he was moving too fast.

“are you still friends with jeno and them?” you asked, and he nodded, causing you to smile. you took a few seconds to weigh out your options, coming into a conclusion rather quickly. “then i would love to”.

jaemin smiled brightly as he continued walking, his hand slowly reaching for yours as he interlaced your fingers wordlessly.

...୨❆୧...

“this is crazy, i would never have thought i would see you together again,” jeno spoke as he watched you and jaemin sitting next to each other on heachan’s couch, a little too close for it to be casual.

“some things change and others stay the same,” you shrugged, smiling sweetly as you turned your head to look at jaemin, who was already staring at you.

“this is sickeningly sweet, i'm gonna go help in the kitchen,” the taller boy grimaced, standing up to walk away, leaving you and jaemin alone in the living room.

“i don’t think we stayed the same, you know,” he commented, looking at you with lovesick eyes. “i would never do the things i did back then without giving you an explanation.”

“promise?” you asked, a smile on your perfect lips as you extended your pinky towards him.

“promise,” he answered, intertwining your fingers and leaving a kiss to seal the promise.

you mimicked his action and wordlessly stared into his eyes, marvelled at the way the christmas lights reflected in his eyes, looking just like stars.

it was surreal to be there with him after so long, but it was the perfect christmas miracle.

𐙚 blue's corner ;; another part of of my christmas special with my first ever nct dream bias... i hope you like it ! this is part of the love actually series that i'm doing with both of my blogs ! 𐙚 taglist ;; @neozon3nha @winwintea @spacejip @dudekiss3r @yizhrt @lyvhie @morkiee @astrasng 𐙚 back to the masterlist. 𐙚 please do not copy, adapt or steal any of the content !!!

© peterm4rker, 2024

[blueberrymori]

☆summary: reader relapses on a bad day and doesn't tell Bucky, leaving him worried.

☆warnings/tags: MALE!reader -he/him pronouns, angst whit happy ending, angst to fluff, suicidal thoughts, dysphoria, mention of self-harm and scars from self-harm, comfort and affection, Be careful if this triggers you, don't read if you know you can't deal with triggers, you are not alone and don't be ashamed to ask for help.

☆A/N: I didn't really know how to finish this one, it was two in the morning when I wrote it, and I dont use Y/N or variants in my fanfics

being raised in a home where your parents are emotionally absent affects various aspects of your life, when your mother wasn't prepared to be a mother and throws all the traumas and insecurities she had at you, always making a point of emphasizing this in any conflicting opinions between you. A father who doesn't know how to apologize and lives drunk and has aggressive tendencies where he only stayed married to your mother to avoid paying alimony and in his eyes you remind him of your mother, he hated being married to your mother.

When you wake up in the morning after a long nightmare with your family and the lack of Bucky in bed next to you only serves to increase the feeling of anguish in your chest.

Bucky wasn't an idiot, he knew that there were days when you were more distant and did everything you could to occupy your mind, and those days made Bucky extremely worried, especially when he saw you isolating yourself without talking to him, he knew what it felt like to distance yourself from being alone, and he, being your boyfriend, didn't want that for you.

That day when Bucky came back from one of his morning runs he saw you in the kitchen crying by the stove, he automatically thought the worst, he ran to you. - Honey? hey hey Look at me please - Bucky said as he placed his meaty hand on your cheek in a loving way.

The blue-eyed man looked into your eyes, tears blurring his cheeks - it's okay, I'm here now - the dark brown-haired man said as he kissed your forehead and pulled you into a hug.

-What happened, my love? Talk to me, or just cry and let it all out - he said as he brought his hand up to your hair and stroked it. Bucky kissed the top of your head and held you close until he heard the first trace of your voice.

- I had a bad dream...when I woke up you weren't here and when I got up to make coffee I dropped the cup and it broke - your weak voice between sniffles made Bucky bring his fingers to your chin and lift it gently so you could look at it.

- Did you hurt yourself with the broken china? - His voice was low and sweet as honey, and when he saw you nodding negatively he took you in his arms and walked over to the sofa in the living room. - It wasn't just the cup, was it? - he said as he sat you down on the sofa and sat next to you.

Your silence was the answer for Bucky, he sighed and took your hand in his and looked into your eyes. - love, please be honest with me, I can't help you if you keep quiet - he said with his expression turning into a gentle smile.

- No... it wasn't just the cup, I think I've become a little over-aware of everything, my scars, my appearance... absolutely everything I hate about myself - Bucky intertwined their fingers together and continued to look into his eyes.

-You shouldn't hate them, they show how strong you've been, that you've been at your worst and overcome it - the dark brown haired man said looking at you with a gaze full of love and affection, he's been in your place and sometimes he's still there, but you've always been there for him when it happened. - And do you want to know a secret? You're stronger than you think, you're a beautiful boy, you're kind and on top of everything you're the one who showed me the light -  he said, kissing your forehead.

-Bucky, how can you love me? - your question drew a sad laugh from him, making him pull you onto his lap and hold your cheeks between his hands so you wouldn't look away.

- I ask myself that question every day, how can you love me? after everything I've done and been through -  Bucky said looking into her eyes which were dripping with tears, he smiled slightly and kissed her lips - I love you my prince -  he said sprinkling kisses on her cheek as soon as his lips moved away from hers.

His meaty hand moved to trace the scars on your arm, he moved his fingers lovingly and held your forearm close to his lips, kissing the scars lightly. - I love every part of you, and I don't see anything as a flaw, you're perfect, from the strand of your hair to the tip of your foot - he said, leaving kisses sprinkled on her arm.

- Thanks, Bucky -  Her voice made him look at her face again, and he tilted his head slightly.

- Thanks for what? - The blue-eyed man said as he moved his metal hand to wipe another tear from his eye.

- For taking care of me... not letting me give up. - The boy said, looking down at his scarred left arm, Bucky moved his hand and intertwined their fingers again.

- You don't have to thank me for anything, my love, I'm your boyfriend, we're together and I want you well and healthy -  he says, smiling at you and pulling you to put your head on his chest as he settles on the sofa. He kisses your temple and moves his metal hand to your back.

- I love you, my angel, every part of you, even the ones you think are flawed -  Bucky says as he traces soothing circles on your back.

[erwinsvow]

𝐫𝐜 - 𝟏:𝟒𝟓𝐩𝐦

“i told ya to stay at home,” rafe says, fingers gripping the steering wheel of his truck tightly, knuckles turning white before your eyes. you don’t look up at him—your moody gaze focusing out of the window instead, staring at the trees and the pavement instead of your boyfriend.

maybe you shouldn’t have complained so much. you know he’s right, because after all, you had begged to tag along with him for the day. normally rafe can hold his own—can refuse and let you down easy with a promise to come back later and spend the rest of the day doing whatever you want, which is more often than not just crashing at tannyhill and watching a movie. you inevitably fall asleep and stay the night, just like what had happened last night. 

and then this morning, clad just in rafe’s button-up and some socks, you pad up to him and look at him sweetly.

“no, no, you’re jus’ gonna start complainin’ the second you get bored-” 

“i won’t! no complaints here, none,” you had insisted, giving him your best pout and puppy eyes. 

“i have real shit to get done today, kid, important business-”

“i won’t say anything! you won’t even know i’m there, rafe-”

rafe had given in eventually—squeezing your cheeks together with his hand before you got in the passenger seat of his car, after opening the door for you.

“when you start complainin’, i’m gonna make you regret it. hm?” you had squeaked out an agreeing noise, quickly following up with a promise to stay quiet before climbing into your seat.

that had been hours ago. in that time, rafe had stopped at several houses, gone inside and spent time talking to other people—some you recognized, others not so much—and ended up here, with you waiting, your feet on his dash while he was inside with barry. the minutes were dragging into hours at this point, your entire body feeling tired and achy from the position. the air in the car felt a little suffocating and paired with the heat of the sun pouring through the windows, nothing you could do would make you feel comfortable.

rafe’s one rule had been not to get out of the car while he was inside. in your attempt to follow his instructions, you felt yourself getting more and more frustrated, a certain crankiness bubbling up inside you, making one of its rare appearances. 

you tried to scroll through your phone and play music—which failed immediately since there was no service out here. you tried to eat the candy you kept in his glovebox, but it was melted beyond the point of remaining edible. you tried, you really did, but just like rafe had predicted, you started complaining the second he got back in the truck.

“you think, what? that i say that shit for me? no, kid, i’m saying it for you, ‘cause i know you get fed up in the car when i’m fuckin’ busy tryna make some money, being fuckin’ proactive for us-”

“but i-”

“no excuses. i told you to stay home. you gonna get an attitude with me? huh?” 

“you’re not even-”

“shoulda tied your ass to the bed. that’s what i’ll do next time.”

it doesn’t take much longer for the tears to come to the surface, your face falling into that sad look that makes him mad at himself for even ever yelling at you. you cry silently like that until he parks at tannyhill, and when he looks at you, regret washes over him. your pretty makeup all messed up, body heaving with sobs, staring down at your feet because you felt too ashamed to look him in the eyes.

“hey, hey,” he starts, a hand resting on your shoulder to get your attention. it moves deftly to your chin, titling your pretty, teary face up at him. “c’mon, don’t cry. it’s nothin’.” 

“you got mad,” you say, voice broken up with a sob, blubbering on. “i’m sorry, i am. i just hate being all alone here without you, it’s the worst-” 

“come on, kid.”

“jus’ wanted to hang out with you,” you sniffle. he runs a hand through his hair. he needs to get better at not getting frustrated with you just because he’s not used to your affection.

“i know, baby. we’re home now so get inside, hm?” you comply with his instructions, walking into tannyhill and heading towards the couch in the living room, like you always do when the two of you curl up to watch a movie.

“where you goin'?” he calls after you. you stop in your track, turning around to face rafe.

“i thought we’re hanging out? the living room?”

“and i said this morning that i would make you regret complainin’. so get your ass upstairs first, now.”

[jinkiezzsstuff]

Hello!!!

Can I put in a writing request??

Because I love your writing!!! 🥹

Can you do (either human alastor.. or demon alastor i love both but human alastor has a chokehold on me haha) but his partner is plus size and they are very self conscious about it

Can be smut if you like (I'm waaaay okay with that)

omg yessss i’m gonna do human alastor because he does need some attention <3 also felt this personallyyyy so i did it sooo fast 🙈 ima chunky gorl myself and with summer approaching things always get tough. i lot of what i wrote here is my own personal experience and shit so i don’t want anyone to think this is something they should feel or notice or be ashamed of! Just so you know!

warnings: SMUT 18+, gender neutral but use of clit, feral alastor, Human!alastor, kinda ooc in the way he is ravenous for reader sexually, reader doesn’t know he’s a murderer, self loathing, self hate, body worship maybe, biting breifly, alastor kinda rich or whatever for the time, insecure reader, plus size reader, body part like stomach thighs highlighted, crying, husband alastor, comfort from Al. swearing, lmk if there’s anything else! NOT PROOFREAD YALL

also i wanted to use junoisded ‘s work (on IG) but i don’t think they like things reposted unless asked and i am way to shy but go check them out their human alastor is mouthhhhh watering gawd

Closing the door behind you, you sat your bag on the table a sullen look on your face. It was particularly difficult week for you, it was getting warmer in New Orleans and when it got warm what was really meant was hot humid gross. It almost felt embarrassing at times to leave the house, the clothes companies made weren’t anything like what other people wore they were hideous, and you sweat, and just felt kind of self conscious.

Especially with Alastor. His popularity grew expeditiously over the last couple of years, with people now being able to recognize his voice all around. His popularity was a gift and a curse, a gift because you didn’t have to work through the stock market issues whereas many people your age did, and a curse because more women and men alike wanted him.

You weren’t jealous because Alastor made it pretty clear he only had eyes for you, however you couldn’t stop the comparison, you usually felt decent about yourself and your looks and Alastor made you more assured in your beliefs. But as more people would recognize him, and he’d give them that charming smile, and they’d flirt, you’d get a little jealous and insecure.

You walked into yours and Alastors shared bedroom, slipping off your shoes and looking into the mirror. You wanted to buy some nice clothing for an event you and Alastor were attending within the week, it was very hush puppy as it served contraband, however you couldn’t find anything at the market, and the tailors would be just too much to ask of Alastor.

Your lip quivered not with sadness but frustration, you just wanted to be at the same level as everybody else, without the issues, and being constantly told how to eat or use your body or dress yourself. Sitting on the bed your thighs spread out around you, stomach resting atop. Tears kept flowing pitifully as you took a moment to wrap your head around your spiraling thoughts. Taking a deep breath you wrapped your arms around your back, begining to take off the clothes that stuck to your sweaty body.

‘Loose leisure clothes.’ You chanted as you shook your trousers to your ankles and opened the drawers to your dresser. You remembered as you caught sight of one of Alastors red suit jackets, a gentleman who had commented that Alastor was far too small to lend his jacket to you on a cold night, which make you feel so bad about yourself. Slamming the drawer closed you cradled your head, this wasn’t fair, you would be ten times better with yourself if people weren’t so casually cruel.

You were okay, you were loved, but it seemed in other aspects of life people had to assure you weren’t due to how you looked. “My dear, what’re you doing all dressed down like this?” Alastors voice rang out joyfully. With a jump and a squeak your arms go to cover your body, however Alastor had already turned his back for you. “I’m so sorry sweetheart! I should’ve knocked!” Even though Alastor was being respectful, a nagging voice in the back of your head told you it was because he couldn’t stand the sight of you.

“Uhm, well you can look actually…” You muttered voice just above a whisper as you rubbed your arm. Alastors hands were on his hips, elbows pointed out head facing down, then he perked up head looking behind him. Smile present on his face his eyes shamelessly drank you up. “I couldn’t find any clothes,” You mutter your throat closing as the tears returned with the thoughts of before.

Alastors body finally turned his smile falling as he watched your from recoil away from his gaze. Stepping into the room his dress shoes clinked against the wooden floor as he approached you his arms outstretched to you. Immediately you fell into his embrace holding back the urge to cry, you wanted to be as strong as he was; smiling through no matter.

However when his hand began rubbing your back, soft words of worry falling from his lips, you lost it. Burying your face into his shoulder you cried, muttering your insecurities into him as he cradled you. “And Alastor they must think i’m a joke, you’re so small compared to me.” You cried out, pulling back to look into his chocolate eyes. Quickly he pulled a handkerchief from his vest pocket, his smile now a frown as he watched tears roll down your cheeks.

“My my, that’s the best part doudou. I love having flesh to bite, grip, squeeze,” Alastor grinned speaking through his closed teeth as he gripped your waist pulling your hips to his and you looked down hiding your face at his ridiculous nickname for you. “I feel proud to be able to feed you, my mother would be proud too, she’d absolutely love you. Worry not my dearest doe, i will have anything tailored to your need, and any crude bastard to comment on you I will hand slaughter the night of thee event, just to send a little message.” Alastor puffed his chest into you, his voice strangely dark and possessive, his eyes gleaming with pride as he kneaded your flesh beneath his fingers.

You never thought about it like that Alastor being able to properly provide for you, no; that was the fun of Alastor though he always knew how to twist things into something better than. Not to mention the idea of him being willing to commit a crime for you in the midst of a serial killer going around, that was something very special to you, strangely enough.

“Alastor you’re insane sometimes, but i love you.” You grinned finally, in turn making Alastors smile return larger then ever. Hands crawling up his chest and neck, you pulled him close and into a kiss. Your immediately Alastor gave into your tug, crashing his lips quickly onto your own roughly, his body grinding into your own as he did so, impatient to show you how much you mean to him though his psychical affections.

His hands gripped every little bit of flesh they passed, trailing up and down your body rolls and all, indulging his desire for you. You moaned lightly into his mouth when you felt the hard pressure of him pressed against your thigh. Alastor pulled away biting your lip as he did so, dragging it out. His eyes were lidded and one of his perfectly gelled curls fell forward and down touching the brim of his eyeglasses. “See how quickly you make me indecent my dear? Oh sweet doe, you make me so disgusting.” Alastor whined in a way, which you’d never heard, and stuffed his head into your neck, kissing, biting and sucking at your warm neck

“Alastor i’m sweaty!” You squeal as he dragged his tongue up your neck, biting at the flesh under you chin. “I know,” He mumbled quickly barely breaking away from decorating your neck. “So stop!” You huffed noncommittally as your hands came down to rest on his shoulders, lightly pushing him. “Why my little doe, you taste better this way.”

Alastor pulled back his coy smile on display as he did so, there was something so disbelieved and feral about how he looked despite not being unkept in the slightest. You felt slightly embarrassed by him admitting he liked you sweaty, but it was also comforting knowing that things you thought made you repulsive, actually attracted him.

“Come to bed with me, chérie?” Alastor hummed slyly, pulling your wrists gently toward the direction of the bed, where he was walking. “To sleep?” You asked flatly eyebrow raised, this caused a genuine laugh to bubble out of Alastors chest his head shaking just a bit. “No, and i think you knew that.” He whispered as he tugged you into him and then down onto the bed. You tensed as he did so, sitting up on your elbows you look at him and scold him.

You paused as Alastors gaze beat down on you hotly, it was sinful how he was looking at you with that cheshire grin on his face. He pulled off his glove with his teeth and used his degloved hand to remove the other one before he undid his vest, chucking it aside carelessly. You took a deep breath your heart beating rapidly in your chest as you watched him closely.

Yes you’ve had sex with Alastor before, although neither of you had a high libido so it wasn’t often, and when it was it wasn’t needy like now, no, it was loving, passionate. Alastor tossed his shirt aside crawling ontop of you right after, groaning as he pressed his bulged into the warmth of your thighs. Whimpering you covered your eyes unable to face the lustful look he was giving you.

His warm flesh melted into yours as he lowered himself ontop of you, his skin hot and sticky from being out in the louisiana heat, his breath tickled your skin as his lips dragged around your neck teasingly. “Gosh Al, I - you’re making me feel so- please.” You moaned quietly unable to place the feeling coursing through you. A mixture of wanting to beg him to devour you and wanting to hide yourself away from his heated gestures.

“What is is it you need, my dear?” His voice was sweet like honey as he breathed his sin into your ear, hand coming up under the leg hole of your undergarments, inching closer to your core. You breath was quievered as your hands found there way to his slightly musicled biceps, sinking your nails into them. Finally he backed up on his knees, and yanked down your undergarments, making you gasp.

Your husband has never been this, it made you dizzy and confused, why has he been hiding such ravenousness from you? Alastor looked down at you with pity, your legs reflexively closed before he could get a glimpse of your pretty. “Please darling don’t be modest, I need you more then ever now. I’m a starved man don’t you know? I need your quench.” You watched him as he spoke, his eyebrows knitted his face soft as he mockingly pleaded with you while he undid the button in his slacks and soon pulled down the zipper.

With jagged breaths you watched him disrobe, pulling his cock from his boxers and stroking it for you to see. Precum dripped from the tip and down his shaft, mixing into the dark coiled public hair at the base. “Oh fuck Alastor,” You whined looking away, you heard him chuckle at an octave you’ve never heard before. “What’s wrong darling? Can’t stand to see how perverse you make me? How cruel, honestly.” He huffed before his warm hands came to grip on your knees, yanking them apart. “My dear, you’re absolutely devine, you have no idea. It’s sickeningly cruel on my part, but I can’t help but be greedy about the way I only get to have you. In a world of commons, i get the rare.” Alastors hips slotted in between your thighs like many times before but this time you were so soaked you needed no foreplay. The head of his shaft prodded at your entrance, making your hips tilt forward attempting to gain friction and contact.

“Please Al, don’t make me beg you.” You moaned quietly, ashamed of how quickly you bent to his will. Alastor grinned down at you, admiring your body relaxed and needy beneath him. There wasn’t a soul he’d replace you for, you were everything and more. He could come clean about his murders and you’d kiss his cheek and serve him some whisky for his stress, because you were family, you were his.

Alastor slid into you slowly, feeling every inch of you against him, his thighs pressed against your own, he loved the feeling of you consuming him all at once. The way your body embraced his own was heaven on earth, you were his comfort that he didn’t deserved. As he watched you beneath him gasp, shake and moan as he sunk into slowly, harshly and repeatedly, he whispered sweet nothings to you. He let out a condescending chuckle while calling you a good pet, told you your body was his to love too and for shame for berating it.

You saw stars and he would slowly pull out and slam back in, believing that was the extent of this session. However, Alastor pressed his hips fully up against your own, kneading the softness of your belly as he stilled. Leaning down he captured you in a kiss, catching you off guard. You reciprocated fisting his curly hair and pulling him closer, which in response made him growl and grunt into you. He felt you clench around him at the sound, and in the moment decided he’d show you how good you make him feel, how much he loves you.

Suddenly Alastor pulled his hips back, and grinded back down into you, his public hair tickling your swollen clit, juices from your arousal squelching as he did so. This time he wasn’t slow, his pace was even and moderate, fucking you into the mattress so hard, the springs snapped, the wood creaked and you swore the bed frame was moving. Alastor pulled away from your swollen lips burying his face in your neck, he moaned for you.

You rolled your eyes back at the sounds he made, ahs, uhs and groans that were only for you. “Oh fuck Alastor i’m gonna cum,” You squeaked clenching your toes tightly as he jackhammered into you, breathing and gasping into your ear as he felt you grip him. Alastor wasn’t proud to admit it but he was too weak to respond, instead he bit down, sucking and groaning into your skin. His pace got clumsy as you cried out in ecstasy, coiling your body around him as you came harshly.

Your arm around his back, one arm around his neck and gripping his hair, and your legs tightly locked around your hips, yeah Alastor couldn’t resist himself from shooting strings into you. Your body jolted as he came shaking your while body, his grunts and whines making your sensitive hole clench him nearer. Without a warning his body collapsed ontop of yours, a deep breath escaping him as he finally relaxed. “I’ve never felt that before dear,” Alastor admitted after a moment of silence. “Me neither, made me forget about everything.” You say hazily, your voice lifted and raw from the noises you let out.

Alastor chucked his fogged glasses to the side, pulling himself out with a huff. Smiling sweetly you watched him gently place a kiss on your stomach and walk off. Sitting up you nearly went to call after him, before his naked body came waltzing back with a rag. “Wanna have a lazy evening in chérie?” You hummed approvingly, and attempted to take the rag, he scoffed at you and lightly pushed your hand away. Softly and embarrassingly so, he cleaned you from himself, enjoying the sight while he was at it.

Once finished Alastor returned the rag as you readied the bed, wanting to cuddle with him. Coming back in Alastor went to grab you both clothes before you called to him. “Can, well- i want to feel you still?” You questioned more than said. Shutting the drawer with a slam he grinned like the little cheshire he was and crawled into bed with you. You pulled him in and he you, nuzzling yourself into his chest you whimpered at the contact, feeling various emotions run through you.

“I chose you my dear, for many reasons not only your looks, your love, your passion but your body too, I love all parts of you, and I know how thoughtless people can be, I will protect you from those comments in the future.” Alastor whispers into your head kissing the top of it right after. You caressed his chest with your nails, throwing your leg over his torso. “Thank you Alastor. I love you too, hell there’s nothing that would make me not love you.” Alastor scoffed his grin returning. “Even murder?” He questioned angling his neck to the side to meet your eyes. Smiling up at him you gave a point nod. “Even murder.”

[last-words-ofashootingstar]

Baby-ya♡︎

➾In Which: Seonghwa has written you a letter to read whenever you feel lonely or sad.

Baby Series !

➯a/n: read it here, i rambled a bit

❝ Baby-ya♡︎

Do you miss me? Are you lonely? You came back to this letter, so, yes?

I'm sorry I'm not there with you. You know I wish I was, my angel. I would give anything in the world to hold you in my arms.

I'm not there to hold your hand, to hold you while you sleep, or to kiss you... But I will be. You will never be lonely for long, starlight. I am always making my way home to you.

You're so soft when you regress, you must feel so lost without me there to guide you. I know you probably feel so lonely. It's okay to feel that way. You know that, don't you, Baby?

It's okay to need comfort. It's okay to want cuddles, to want someone to play with or listen to you. Wanting to feel small and cared for is beautiful. It's nothing to feel ashamed of. I know you feel like that sometimes. Don't.

You deserve patience, kindness, warmth- you deserve everything. Especially when you're little.

My sunshine deserves all of the love︎ in the whole wide world♡

Why don't you listen to our song? Maybe put on your little playlist while you take a nap? You could watch your favorite show, or color, you can cry if you need to. Do whatever you need to do, Baby.

I know better than anyone that your little space isn't always gentle with you. I know, Baby. Sometimes you need to watch a cartoon to drown out the bad thoughts. Sometimes you need to draw patterns to keep your hands busy. Sometimes you just need to throw a tantrum.

And all of that is okay, love bug.

You are allowed to feel your pain. But you can't stay there. You can't unpack and live in it.

Feel it. And then let it go, angel. Feel the loneliness, the sadness, let yourself feel vulnerable. And then wipe your tears and be strong.

And, you are strong! You've been through so much, and you're still going. I admire you so much, Baby. I wish I had the words to describe it... But all I can think to say is that it amaz you amaze me.

You made it so far all on your own. And that is something to be proud of. You can make it through this until I'm there to hold your hand again.

Whenever you miss me, just remember that we are under the same sun. Sleeping under the same moon. You're never really alone, little one.

- Until I hold you again; with all of my love,

Mommy-ya♡ ❞

❝ P.S. Don't forget to brush your teeth before bed, Baby! ❞

[nightscythe]

You've mentioned that drukhari/aeldari are your personal interest. Do you have any fun headcanons about you'd like to share or thoughts about a potential relationship with a baseline human? 👀👀👀

I love the regular big boys but the space elves just tickle a different part of my brain and there's a severe lack of content for them in the wh40k tumblr fandom 😩😩

to be fair, there's a lack of content from gw for them as well... not through lack of their writers trying, i'm sure. i hope.

aeldari

falling for you

they don’t want to be interested in you, but they can’t help it. everything you do becomes something they yearn for. you throw away a notebook? they’ve kept it. studied it; taken everything they can from it because they think its their only way to know the real you. human emotion becomes a hook for them, though they’d never ask you for it. it’s almost a personal challenge, how they can make you laugh, see you smile, burn with confidence that they’d not expected. but if you’re sad or they see you cry? they’d be prepared to move heaven and earth for you. but, they’re fearful of what having such feelings for you, a human, might do for them. this fear will make them come across as them being utterly condescending, because how could someone like you become important to them without a reason? their inner thoughts and anxieties that are very very rarely shared will be a reoccurring problem. when they’re past that, they’re all yours. “in another lifetime, this would have been easy. unfortunately, fate has not been written that way.”

light moments

they’d never let you be in a situation where harm would come to you. they’d chastise themselves over a bruise you got, even if it was accidental or unavoidable. their protection is because they simply couldn’t live without you. and that can go even further. they are terrified of a life without you, and they’re ashamed to even admit it. every part of you is sacred to them. they’d learn each curve of your body, each scar, freckle, mark, line, etc. they’d know the causes, the stories, trace every scar like scripture and worship you until the end of time, wondering why they’d been cursed to have a kindred spirit with such fragile mortality. sharing parts of their life is important to them too. they shouldn’t share so much with you, but they want to. their patronising demeanours would begin to fade overtime. they’d be irritated you couldn’t speak their tongue perfectly but even if it frustrates them, they’d quietly find it adorable. if ever you reached for them, in your sleep or if you were worried, it would shatter them. they’d be stunned to silence as they begin to contemplate just how much you mean t them. you’re their salvation. but your life is so short. too short. “you’re the only thing in this galaxy that feels real to me.”

dark moments

they’d never understand what they feel. sometimes they’re cold, clinical. feeling doesn’t sink through with what they are doing and you may find yourself questioning how much you mean to them. you know they care, but how much they care could be debated – they’re partially afraid to show it (because that makes it real) and partially forget that the trivial nature of love is important to you. if you hurt them, even unintentionally, that feeling is doubled. tripled. every part of them they worked to build past comes right back to them. but they never allow themselves to hurt you in return. they don’t think that’s fair. they could be so cruel, but they never allow themselves to be with you – and maybe that makes it worse sometimes. but no matter what, they’d come back to you, always seek you out, wanting you right back with them no matter what the cost. they may seem a bit controlling. they think they know what’s best for you and only want to help, its never meant to be more than that. most definitely argumentative to the highest degree and always think they are right, arguing a case even when they realise they might be wrong. that can be infuriating. “this has never been easy for me. think clearly, and you’ll see things how i see them.”

intimate moments

did you ever know an eldar could be so shy? they worry they won’t be enough for you, ironically, concerned that they'd not be able to fulfil your needs (though outwardly, they'll be a little arrogant and despondent about it). they'll never beg, but they will act like they did. they'll worship you again, they'll use their mouth for hours before moving on. the way you writhe beneath them has their body shuddering. typically submissive, so eager to please and do well, but they can hold the leash of dominance if required (and of course, there is the occasional outlier - but even then they're at the behest of your pleasure). hours mean nothing to them, they’d go for days if you were able to, just to prove their feelings to you. anything intimate is a ritual for them, really. “you rival even the stars. won’t you let me have one more taste?”

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦. 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦. 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

drukhari

falling for you

you’re a challenge they feel like they need to beat but accidentally start to catch feelings for you – then channel that energy straight into everything but love (but they do love you, its just… not that easy for them). at first they just mock you and everything you live by. it’s a defence for them, a way for them to hide from anything buried beneath. so fragile compared to them, such a small little soul that they should have just killed when they got the chance. but they didn’t; instead they’re sitting on a wall watching, completely fascinated. they’re intrigued by your softness and your warmth. the first time you try to hug them they are frozen in place. they ask for more on the pretence of conductive research. they like the way their fingertips sink into your flesh. and a kiss? its like a fatal wound. this is almost a slow burn romance with them as they realise you mean more to them than anything, anyone else. “don’t confuse my clemency for anything other than my need to see you breathe.”

light moments

you mean everything to them. they watch you sleep. watch you eat. watch you fumble around with clothes every time you get dressed and prance around without their grace. they’d find things that reminded you of them, another more human pleasure they’d picked up on, but it’s always something that has a piece of them in it too. like your name carved into a bone that reminded them of your own. or a blade custom made for your liking. they’ll never admit its so they can see you smile. they start to listen to you, unwisely most of the time. if you said stop, they would hesitate. no one else’s words would even reach them. however, they also think that they can impress you by demonstrating their excellence in murder. eventually they’ll settle for impressing you with other things they can do with their hands. your pleasures accidentally become their comforts. they didn’t understand why the softness of a pillow mattered at first. thought how you made your tea was over the top. but now they crave it because it reminds them of you – a connection to something they’ve never had before. they’d protect you from the entire galaxy if they needed to – you’re the only thing they don’t want to destroy after all. love doesn’t really exist, not to them. but you give them a feeling that they can run off for years, and they never ever want to let it go. you taught them how to feel. that’s more than they can ask from anyone. “such a little thing, i sometimes find myself wondering how we even ended up in the same world.”

dark moments

possessiveness incarnate. if anyone so much as looks at you they are planning their death. don’t ask and they won’t tell, but really, they’d love to say how many necks they’ve cut just for your smile and may make slight references to it. it may take a while for them to realise you don’t want them to kill anyone for you, even as proof of their affection. they may seem like they don’t care. pain isn’t the same for you and them. they can argue with you, they can make you feel so small and remind you that they could have killed you a thousand times over but they don’t. so how do they not care? they’d struggle to change their mind, expecting you to just realise. they’ll always seek you out though. the regret would silently ruin them, so they’d never leave a moment to simmer bitterly between you, never want to spend a night away from you with the beginnings of regret bordering on their minds. they’d rather you hate them than leave them. so they sometimes push things to the extreme. they shouldn't, but they do. especially when learning that your fear isn’t as enjoyable as your love. “even death won’t provide you an escape from me. fortunately.”

intimate moments

the switchiest of any xenos, obviously. they can be your pet, they can be your owner. both, if you want. they want you to stroke their hair and choke them, and they’ll do the same right back. anything you want, of course. because its your sounds and your taste that feeds them at the end of the day. teasing is a love language, in as many ways as you can think. words, touching, biting; they have a billion and one ways to make you frustrated and overwhelmed at the same time. hearing you say thank you is a blessing. could be for one of those gifts, could be because they let you climax, could be because they chose to not end your life. but don’t worry, their love means you’re always rewarded. prepare for overstimulation, begging, ties and being watched - they're happy to watch you go solo too. don't worry, they'll take good care of you afterwards. sex to them may be meaningless, but with you its different. prepare to beg, a thousand times over. “did i say that you could stop begging, pet? back on your knees.”

this is your sign to request eldar content from me. i even have eldar ocs. tell me what you want, i'll provide.