#I did not cover everything here but I got the gist of most of it

[camellcat]

scrambled thoughts about s4 bc I'm losing my goddamned MIND

just finished s4 of Doctor Who. quick question: how the hell do you go on without Rose Tyler? I can't even imagine I literally. what.

like once s3 rolled around I really fuckin realized I was apparently very much watching this show for ROSE and her dynamic with the Doctor, not the Doctor himself or whatever else lmaoo

ONLY Rose has made me bawl my eyes out, let alone even tear up at all. I just can't even fathom being able to connect with any other plot or character like I did with her and her love for the Doctor.

I just ohh for all of s3 most of s4 I just missed her so much??? like Martha and Donna are great (well, I didn't like Martha at first and you can definitely guess why based on all of this but once s4 rolled around she was great!! loved her) but oh my god they were just no Rose Tyler.

plus WOW I really got so attached to her relationships with other people?? like Donna and Martha's families n whatnot made me feel NOTHING whereas I could not get enough of Jackie and adored Mickey (Mickey is family. he is. I don't care if he's her ex or whatever. he's part of the family). Captain Jack Harkness my one true love (btw just sayin I really think Rose and the Doctor should've gotten a hello kiss. maybe not the Doctor he did not deserve one for leaving Jack but Rose did!! hello!!! you gave them "I'm going to go die" kisses give them "hello we're all still alive missed you" kisses!!!). idk if maybe I was just so clocked out of s3-4 that I missed something but I swear those two just had like no really compelling personal relationships outside of the Doctor, and maybe like one specific family member (lookin at you, gramps).

the fact that Rose ended up liking Martha and Donna though??? dfindsnjdj dying dying DYING I love that she would've been friends with them both. they deserved to all sit and gossip about the Doctor like she did with Sarah Jane right in front of his face.

also oh my god no one why why why please PLEASE I'm not used to consuming sad media I try and avoid it as much as possible and this show is just. just. oh my god.

Rose is so close to what she truly wanted. she'll have a life with the Doctor, but not her Doctor and not the life she fought so hard to get back. instead she's still still still stuck in Pete's World, unable to travel across time and space and save the universe with her Doctor (and don't get me wrong, I love the idea of Tentoo, but it just rubs me the wrong way no matter how I try and look at it. it feels like when a character's memories are erased. they're still technically themselves, but something important is missing all the same. and that thing missing is the TARDIS in this case Tentoo is the best thing she could've gotten lol). I feel like I can't even adequately put it into words why her ending makes me as upset as it does I just hope you Get It. I don't think it would've been good for her to not have ANY other solid relationships like she would've had if she'd gone with the Doctor but also oh my god. oh my god.

and the Doctor is once again without his brilliant, fantastic Rose.

I really hope she doesn't come back though unless it's on her own terms, because she missed her friends or smth. I really hope she's able to travel the world and it be enough for her as long as she's got Tentoo by her side. I really, really hope she's happy and fully in love with Tentoo and they are living the BEST life they can.

Fuck. this SHOW.

[sexisbetteronthemoon]

Is there any lore/world building in ur au that won’t be brought up in the the fic but is still a fun fact u can share?

thanks for asking, i'm delighted to answer!  i've been trying to incorporate as much as i can of the world through Keith's observations, but hmm well here's a few fun facts off the top of my head since i had too much coffee and am not getting any sleep anytime soon:

the planet is always trying to kill Keith in one form or another, and still, Keith loves it there.

there's mermaids!  they're not like the mermaid planet in vld.  to provide a comparison in human evolution terms, these are barely evolving from advanced australopithecus to homo erectus (they could still deviate into something else).  they're almost as smart as ravens and can use tools and mostly avoid surface waters bc there's often tidal waves that can sweep them out and strand them to dry out and die.  Keith has not yet discovered them.

the smartest animal on the planet is actually Kosmo's species!  they do not speak, but use body language and scent/chemo signals to communicate.  Kosmo is very confused as to why its adoptive parents do not understand it unless it's yelling at them (barking/growling/whining).  it'll get the gist eventually, it's still baby.  bonus:  the blink dogs can convert the radiation from the crystal fields into energy!  it's how they survive on such little food.  but like some animals, it needs more than one type of “food” to survive.

speaking of the crystal fields, there's more creatures there, including a few plants.

the desert is cold, yet dry/arid.  it's not uncommon for it to snow there in winter (just an inch or two), but the snow melts and evaporates pretty quickly.  Keith is actually a little afraid of this place because of the sandwalkers.  “the elephants of the desert”, they're simultaneously large and hard to see bc they're thin with four limbs and capable of flattening to burrow slightly in the sand to blend in.  they move silently and walk very slowly to conserve energy unless they've spotted prey, and everything that moves is prey.  they produce a kind of silk web they use to travel during wind storms bc they're very light.  they're also not very good eating, so most predator animals don't bother with them.  (if you're picturing a walking stick bug at around 11 ft long, you've got it!)

rock worms are based on the creatures in Tremors movies!  (which someone already figured out in the comments on that chapter, way to go!)  they differ from cave worms in that rock worms only eat rock and burrow into it.  cave worms eat excrement and apparently Lance's jumpsuit as well.

it was an earthquake that separated Kosmo from its family.  many died, but there were some survivors.  this will not become a problem until Kosmo is an adult, and thus beyond the story's end.  i may write a short one shot about it later on if anyone's interested.  in that same vein, i will likely ask before the last chapter, or after, if anyone has unresolved questions curiosities, etc. and i'll answer or make one shots about it once the main story is over.

the red light refraction is caused by a ginormous red crystal that lays in the path of the sun to cover the mountain range where Keith lives and hundreds of miles around it.  it can actually be seen from the ground level if you go up a tall tree (it is always visible from the mountain).  it's very big.  and yes, this does mean there there are places on Planet Red where redset doesn't occur and there's normal sunsets.  there's also places where there's redrises.

Allura met Lance's mother when she visited a beach on Earth (on a diplomatic mission to include Earth in the space council after the war) and she absolutely snuck away from her guards and party to hit on her while she was working, but ended up embarrassing herself and thought she'd ruined her chance.  but it made Lance's mother laugh and it completely won her over bc Lance's mom loves to laugh.

on the subject of the war, zarkon did not live thousands of years.  mofo died a regular ass death (as did honerva) and his descendants carried on the war for ages until an armistice was reached.

Planet Red used to be mostly covered in water until massive earthquakes and continental shifts brought land up and emptied the water out into oceans and seas.  this was hundreds upon thousands of years ago, however.  there is also a caldera beneath the jungle which keeps it warm.

the sun has a pair but it orbits too distantly to affect Planet Red.  it's a dwarf red and can be seen via telescope in the night sky.  Keith calls it “Little Red” (as in Riding Hood).

there's a mushroom forest with enormous mushrooms and tiny, humanoid fairies closer to the crystal fields, but they're basically wasps and very territorial.  if they sense something is a threat, they swarm, biting and scratching, until it leaves or they're killed.  they make hives in the gills of some mushrooms and are often targeted by birds and other creatures.  they need sodium and glucose and will enthusiastically feed upon blood to get it.  since it's so close to the radiation, Keith doesn't go there often.

once, Keith managed to convince Shiro (takashi as he's called in the fic bc they're blood brothers) that he's adopted bc Shiro doesn't look like either Heath or Krolia.  he does have Heath's chin, but that's it.  he mostly looks like Krolia's father, whom they've never met.  Shiro cried about it and Keith got grounded.  Shiro was just a preteen then.  (Keith was a whole menace and a half when he was kid.)  all three kids used to fight over the control of the big tv and Acxa always won bc she waited for Shiro and Keith to tire each other out before diving in and sitting on them until they surrendered.

“Kogane” isn't Keith's surname!  it doesn't come up at all, but since Shiro is the only one with a surname, i slapped that baby on the whole family.  only Shiro's friends call him as such.  (it felt weird to get rid of the “Shiro” nickname entirely for this fic, so i finagled it to still be possible, just not within his family unless Keith or Acxa is mocking him (as siblings do).

i hope you found these tidbits entertaining!  if you'd like more info, hit me up! ❤️💙

[vorenado-m]

happy disability pride month! please consider helping me take back my life as a disabled person!

the TL;DR is that for the last 3 months i have had an absolutely soul-sucking miserable minimum wage retail job that, due to the way scheduling works (and the app being broken as fuck) has prevented me from having access to literally any of the life-saving mental health/medical care i need as a disabled person.

my disability is best managed through a combination of medication, therapy, and casework-- not a single one of which i have had since march! :) contextually, up until i got this job, i took three daily medications and had casework once a week and therapy once or sometimes twice a week. these services are offered at an affordable cost to me through a local organization that is threatening to close my case due to lack of participation.

ill make another, more detailed post later with some of the services i can offer for money (i draw! i code! i write!) but until then here is a code you can scan if you have a few dollars to spare:

there are more details beneath the cut (idk about you guys but im kinda nosy so i wrote some more stuff in case anyone else is also nosy) but thats the gist of it. you can also always ask for details. i dont have a therapist right now so it might feel good to say things.

my plan is as follows: i would like to take the month of july more or less "off" from work to get my affairs in order, starting with scheduling appointments for therapy and casework and getting back on my meds. i am actively looking for a job, but i would like the ability to be somewhat picky instead of applying everywhere i think might have me for the sake of having money coming in to pay rent.

for the last two years i have made less than $800/mo and i can survive on roughly $600-$650 a month. my july rent ($550) is paid and my august rent (at least $500) is most likely also squared away, through a combination of some cash i was hoarding, a previous donation, my last expected paychecks from my current job, and my brother generously offering to cover whatever is left over. the extra $100ish is for roughly a months supply of the food that is part of my daily routine that i get cranky without (i have tea every morning, for instance.)

i have a fantastic roommate who is not struggling as much financially who will do everything in her power to make sure i have access to staple foods (rice, eggs, etc) so i really just need to buy the things only i consume (kimchi, milk, etc.) there is a food bank i go to, so i am not worried about food, but i can only go to it once per month. we have a barter system where i trade her the things i dont want from the food bank and she buys me things i will eat; alternatively, i sometimes give her things i get from the food bank (eg meat) that she turns into meals for both of us.

i live independently/"alone" with roommates and do not have support from my family pretty much at all. they have never been particularly useful for emotional support and have openly denied me financial support since i was a teenager. moving in with them/getting help from them/talking to them is not an option.

i have emailed my caseworker at the mental health organization i work with as well as my caseworker with the disability vocational program i work with to help me find a new job that is "back of house" and requires less customer interaction. i did this over the weekend, so i expect to hear back from them sometime this week. in the meantime, i am searching for jobs on my own in places like indeed, jobhat, careerbuilder, etc. as well as checking company websites of places like chain grocery stores to see what is available in my area.

my job pool is a bit limited due to the fact that i cannot drive (due to both my disability and the medication im supposed to be taking for it) but i am very well-versed at taking the bus, which is free. getting to and from work is not a concern for me; it is being able to do the job without being driven to the edge of a mental breakdown that is the problem.

the disability vocational program is my ticket out of poverty! last month i had a follow-up evaluation (i had to call out of work for it, but frankly i was at the end of my rope then too) where they approved my career goals as a web developer and we are in the process of deciding what my next steps are! the program will likely (depending on what route i take) help pay for vocational training, too, but i obviously have to pay rent while in training. which i think i can do if i have a job that doesnt make me want to die.

i have some other things that make my life a bit harder (im mixed race, i am nonbinary + gay, etc) but i would say those things dont really impact my ability to get a job as much as the disability does LOL which is why i did not feature them prominently in this post. like, the reason i cant get a job isnt because people dont want to hire me because i have blue hair and pronouns, its because im obviously disabled.

if you have any other questions, no matter how intrusive you think they might be, feel free to send a DM or an ask, and i will try to answer.

[becauseplot]

Touching Base

Just a little Roommates/Cellmates AU oneshot because they live in my head like how Cell lives in Felps' apartment: rent-free. (Also because I am procrastinating on bigger projects rn.) (What who said that.)

Takes place a couple years after the events of Miss Me? and Shared Living Space. Cell has officially started going by Cellbit, a relatively recent development. He still sleeps on the couch, but that's mainly because the second "bedroom" in the apartment is used for Felps' storage and both of them dread having to clear it out. He has a job and puts most of that money towards groceries, new clothes, and therapy. Felps---finally working at a station where his superiors don't hate his guts---covers pretty much everything else.

(TWs: discussions of killing/murder, light allusions to suicide in a joking manner (they're fine, someone's just being dramatic). they are having a conversation that is oh so very normal for two friends to have yesyes. tbh this was supposed to be way more light hearted but then the angst. the angst...)

Key ring dangling from his finger, Cellbit shoulders his way through the apartment door, juggling a box of redstone bulbs, a stack of spam mail, and the library book that doesn’t quite fit in his over-full messenger bag. “Felps?”

There's no verbal answer, but over the back of the couch, Cellbit sees a tired hand rise and wave. There’s a dull whump when it drops back down.

Cellbit, taking this and the fact that the TV isn't even on, raises an eyebrow. "Long day?" There's a muffled groan in response, and that's all Cellbit needs to hear to get the gist of it. He wiggles his keychain off his finger and into the dish before shutting the door behind him with his foot and heading to the table, where he dumps off his things. Hands free, he slips his bag off his shoulder and sits down to take off his work boots. Once he's got them off, he takes a moment to slump back in the chair, relief washing over his aching back and shoulder, before he picks himself up and heads over to see what the situation is.

The situation, it seems, is as follows: Felps is lying on his back on the couch, still wearing his uniform, with a pillow pressed into his face like he's trying very, very hard to smother himself with it.

Cellbit sits himself down on the floor with his side against the foot of the couch, right by Felps. He plants an elbow on the cushions and drops his chin into the heel of his hand. "So. Who do I need to kill?"

Felps groans again and shifts the pillow off his face just enough to free his mouth. "Me. Kill me, please. Kill me. Literally just kill me."

"Ehhh," Cellbit says. "You know, I did that once, and you didn't like me very much after that."

"Cellbit I am begging you. You'd be doing me a favor."

"Mm, no. I don't think so." He pokes one of the fingers Felps has dug into the cushion. "Now come on—a name, an address. Give me something to work with here, Felps."

Felps sighs and finally yanks the pillow off his face, flipping his hands around and throwing it into his lap. His hair is a complete, frazzled mess, though Cellbit supposes that's the least of his worries. "No one's getting killed. This isn't a problem you can fix by killing someone."

"Except for you?"

"Except for me."

"Okay. So what happened?"

Felps makes a pained noise and digs the heels of his palms into his eyes. At least he's not suffocating this time. "Davi," he mumbles.

Cellbit blinks. Usually, he has a hard time keeping all of the names of Felps' coworkers, friends, and acquaintances straight in his head since there's so many of them, but this one registers immediately. He takes this in, looks at Felps agonizing on the couch, thinks back onto what Felps told him the other day, does some rapid mental math, and comes to the conclusion that maybe the situation actually could be fixed by killing someone. Potentially.

But before that thought can properly start, Felps flicks him against the temple. "Hey, no plotting. I'm serious."

"Plotting?" Cellbit echoes, oh-so-perplexed. "I wasn't plotting. Who said anything about plotting?"

"Cellbit."

"Who said anything about plotting the murder of the hot guy at the train station who rejected your friend after he spent two weeks working up the courage to ask him out? I sure didn't."

"Cellbit," Felps says, insistent. Cellbit stops, but only because Felps wants him to, and only because he’s joking. Really. "It's fine. It's my fault anyway. I totally fucked it up. I got the timing all wrong, and—" Felps breaks off into another horrified sound, dragging his hands down his face. "God, it was so bad. I don't want to talk about it."

"Alright. Anything I can do? That doesn't involve killing you?"

Felps pauses. He peeks at Cellbit from behind his hands. "...Grab the remote for me?"

Cellbit snorts. "Sure." He gets up (swallows a grunt; fuck, his shoulder's being funny) and grabs the remote off the TV stand. When he comes back, Felps has managed to get his-wallowing-self into an upright position so Cellbit can collapse back into the sofa beside him.

Cellbit clicks on the TV. "What're we feeling?"

"Pain."

"I mean what do you feel like watching, dumbass."

"Literally anything," Felps says with a wave of his hand.

"Right… So if I put on Blood on the Taiga—"

"Parkour tag."

"Okay, parkour tag it is."

They start to chat a little as Cellbit flicks through the minigame channels, looking for one that's broadcasting parkour tag: ("How was work at the station?" "Were the docks busy today?" "Did that warrant finally get processed?" "Is your shoulder still bothering you?" "You should probably change out of your uniform." "You should probably take a shower." "In a bit, my back has to unbreak itself first.")

It doesn't take him long to find a channel, so they end up talking through part of the first round, swapping the work updates they usually provide each other. After that, they settle in, feet up on the coffee table, shoulders pressed together. Cellbit watches the teams trade off "runners" and "hunters." Felps usually roots for the team in the blue and green jerseys, but it doesn't seem like they're playing today. Still, these teams aren't half-bad. The tall one on the red-orange team is a good hunter, Cellbit idly notes. She's light on her feet.

It's at the start of the third round that Felps speaks up again.

"So. Hypothetical question for you."

Cellbit watches the good-hunter spring off a piston-platform. "Alright."

"And this is completely hypothetical. One hundred percent, utterly hypothetical."

"Okay."

"I'd never genuinely ask this of you."

"Sure."

The good-hunter drops down a ladder, missing a tag on a runner by a hair's breadth. The squeak of her sneakers echoes through the arena.

"...If I told you I needed you to kill someone for me, would you actually do it?"

Cellbit tilts his head. The good-hunter whirls around a corner and swings herself up onto another platform. "Yeah."

He feels more than sees Felps startle beside him. "...R...Really?"

"Yeah."

"Just like that?"

"Well, like I said earlier, I'd need, like, a name. An address if you can get it. At least a general location—"

"No, no, I mean..."

Felps falters, and Cellbit takes his eyes away from the game to look up at him. Felps is staring right back, a furrow in his brow.

"...You wouldn't even question it? Or hesitate?"

Ohhh. Cellbit understands now. The morals. He was asking about the morals. "Well," starts Cellbit. He pauses. Then, he drags his feet over to the edge of the couch, legs curled up, in front of his chest. The position makes his back ache, but the rest of him feels better this way. He hangs his arms over his knees. He stares at the TV, but he's not really sure who's hunting and who's running anymore.

He sighs. "...The way I see it—you would never ask me to kill someone unless they actually deserved it. I think it would take a lot for you to decide someone needs to die, then a lot more to tell me to kill them because...you know me. I'll get it done. And I won't half-ass it either."

And if they hurt you, Cellbit thinks, with a sudden, rising fury, I'll kill them dead. I'll make it hurt. Carve their throat out with my teeth. They'll be begging for the Void long before I'm through with them.

But he lets that one go on an exhale, lets it pass wordlessly between his lips, before it can get too far. He flexes his hands, loosening them. "But..." he continues, scraping together the courage to say the rest. "You also know I'm trying not to— You know I'm better about that now. Past it. Moving past it. And you're—" He falters. His tongue darts over his lip. He bites it. "You're generally helpful in that regard, so..."

"...You don't think I'd ask you to do something that would ruin your progress unless it was serious," Felps finishes.

"Yeah." Cellbit tilts his head to either side, cracking his neck, and flexes his hands again. God, his therapist would be so fucking proud of him.

"Okay." Felps clears his throat. "Sorry if that made you uncomfortable, I just—the thought wouldn't leave me alone, and..."

"No, no, it's—it's fine. It's a good question to ask. Making sure we're on the same page, and all that. Touching base. Getting caught up. Just like we always do."

"Right," Felps says. "Just like we always do."

A beat.

"But I wouldn't. Ask that of you, I mean. I'd never ask you to kill someone for me."

"I know," Cellbit replies easily. "I heard you the first time."

(And Cellbit trusts Felps to stick to his word. Honestly, he does. But the issue—or perhaps the best part, depending on how much he wants to disappoint his therapist—is that Felps wouldn't even have to ask. In no universe would Felps ever have to ask.)

"...Oh. Okay."

"Okay."

The conversation hangs in the air, gradually dissipating. Slowly, Cellbit manages to recenter his attention on the game of parkour tag. Round four. She's hunting again, though this is her last hunting round. After that, she'll be stuck as a runner for the rest of the tournament. Felps rests his head on Cellbit's shoulder as the alarm blares and the competitors are released from their chambers. Cellbit nestles his cheek in Felps' curls. The final hunt has begun.

[smaller-comfort]

⭐! Loser Takes All!

You know, I think if someone else had already written the filthy Aephorul/Resh'an tentacle smut I was craving back when I first finished the game, I might not have felt the need to write my own. I hadn't done any serious creative writing in years at that point, but the idea kept rolling around in my head and wouldn't go away. I wrote the first 2500 words of it in a draft tumblr post because typing anything in my notes app or google docs felt too real, and I had to trick my brain into thinking I wasn't actually writing anything in order to get any writing done.

It was always going to start with Aephorul's temper tantrum in the Archives, but at one point Aephorul's violence was going to take the sex in a much darker direction. That got scrapped pretty quickly, and instead there's that whole interlude where Aephorul is insistent on Resh'an's consent. I actually do think that's an important bit of characterization now, but I recognize that it might be a little immersion-breaking in some ways. And it's really in there because otherwise I was going to run up against a bunch of my own weirdly specific squicks around sex and violence. (Maybe I'll unpack that in an essay about content warnings at some point, idk. I'm not always sure where the lines are myself, honestly.)

I didn't end up cutting much from the final story- I think I deleted most of what I didn't use, unfortunately. (Fun fact, I had originally scrapped the sounding because I was getting self conscious about it; this was my first time writing...pretty much all of the kinks in there, actually. It's @kyoukhi's fault the sounding got written back in.)

You can see the tiny handful of bits I did cut here (nsfw-ish):

(This bit is actually in my notes on the tumblr post where I link to the story. Their stupid bickering is 99% of the appeal for me, honestly.)

“An eye for an eye, isn't it? You fucked my plans in two worlds. Now I get to fuck you."

It's too much. He breaks one hand free of Aephorul's grasp, so he can cover his face with it.  “That sounded better in your head, didn't it.”

“...oh, shut up.”

----

His mouth is dry. He feels too hot, as if Aephorul's hand on his bare skin has lit a fever in him. It has been countless thousands of years since he has felt anything like this, and it is awful.

He knows that he can, actually, come from this- endless, merciless teasing- he's done it before. But it had taken weeks to get to that point, and he is not going to think about the stupid sexy games they used to play with each other before everything went to shit.

--

(I think this was actually the first bit of the sex that I wrote.)

"You're such. A. Hypocrite. Play by the rules until you can't be bothered, and then you agree so readily to whatever forfeit I want- it's almost like you enjoy this."

"Should I not?" He asks, drily. It takes quite a lot of self control to keep his voice even, while Aephorul's cock- or whatever it is- twitches. "Probably should have mentioned that at the start then- ah!"

---

(the gist of this bit is actually getting reused in Save Scum, but this is what it originally looked like):

“Do you remember-”

“No.” The word comes out in a sudden, vehement snarl.

Everything stops, which is agonizing in its own way.  His feet touch the ground, and the bindings on his arms recede. Aephorul holds him in a carefully controlled collapse to the floor.

“No,” he repeats. His eyes are still sealed shut.  “Not- not to this." He trails one hand down the nearest piece of flesh he can reach. "This is fine.”

“Is it?” Hands- tentacles, whatever- wrap around Resh'an's shoulders, massaging the aching muscles there. 

“Yes,” slightly exasperated. “Just don't- don't bring up- the way things were. Don't ask me to remember.”

“Very well.” Aephorul's voice is flat and emotionless.

[vees-genshin-blog]

Progress check (Oct 1, 2024)

Here is the first progress check!! This is all the development that was made since Sep 24, 2024. Currently, I'm thinking of having "Progress Check" posts for a weekly progress summary and a "Daily Genshin" for everything I do daily/semi-daily. Though I usually just make sure to spend my resin daily, so it might be overkill to have short posts just to say "I spent all my resin in X domain, collected my daily commission and logged off".

I'll have two mains section of account progress to cover: character building and game content. "Game content" is everything else in Genshin thats not related to character building, but I might split that into more sections as I progress.

Without further ado, here is my first week of progress!!

Character Building:

I mentioned it before in the previous post, but the characters I am currently building are my Childe international team!! I've been wanting to build this team since I first discovered them, and now I finally got to start working on them XD.

I know this doesn't look impressive, but they've come so far in the week since I started!! My Bennett was the only one fully ascended, and his talents were 1/5/1. My Xiangling and Childe needed one more ascension, and both of their weapons were only 20/40, with all talents at 1. Not to mention Kazuha, who I just got before I took my last break (in the run before his most recent re-run).

Now they're all fully ascended with mostly fully ascended weapons and I'm currently working on their talents before I go all in on artifact farming! I'm currently a bit hesitant with Kazuha's weapon right now though because I know the favonius sword is also pretty good with him, but from what I understand, it kind of depends on how much ER I can get on Xiangling, so we'll see how good I can make Xiangling before I decide.

I've also done a bit of skimming through the childemains subreddit so I know the general gist of the artifacts I want. Emblem for Xiangling, VV for Kazuha, and a 2 pc HOD/Nymphs for Childe (for ease of getting a good artifact). For Bennet, I'm actually not too sure since it depends, but for now, I'm aiming for 4pc noblesse, though if I get a good 2pc/2pc, I sticking with it.

Game content:

I FINALLY GOT PAST MY ASCENSION RANK 4!!! My main team could not clear all the enemies within the time limit so I was stuck on AR 50 for so long, but I finally did it this week! All my saved exp jumped me up to AR 55, and so far, the difficulty change doesn't seem too bad!

I'm so glad I did it now too because this means I get better drops, which means hopefully, less farming because I DO NOT want to spend too much time farming riftwolves for Polar Star.

Speaking of riftwolves, I actually finished the last two quests in the Tsurumi Island quest chain so no more fog! The drops I got while doing the quest chain were what helped me get through Polar star's first few ascensions. I also did both Zhongli's story quest so I finally unlocked the Azhdaha weekly boss and doing it for the first time was how I got the Sword billet to make the Iron Sting I gave to Kazuha XD.

Final thoughts:

That's roughly everything I've been able to do this past week. It's really a lot of progress when its seen as a collective amount of days, and I can't wait to see how far I get next week!

Up next, I'm gonna write my first "Daily Genshin" and see how much I can write out of it to determine if I'll keep it a thing. I'm also planning a post about my main team, the story behind it, and how they've been serving me so far.

[zorilleerrant]

So I read the First Test graphic novel adaptation, and, as with the vast majority of graphic novel adaptations, I kind of feel that... it simply didn't need one of those. It got across the gist of the story, but, you know, so would a wiki summary or even diving into fics and assuming you'll figure out what's going on eventually. The fact that it managed to cover most of the basics is not really a resounding endorsement for the book to be written.

There's nothing egregiously wrong with it. It takes quotes directly - sometimes I think more changes would've worked better, honestly - and covers the same story with the same timeline. At no point did I go, "hey, fuck you! That's not right!" Well, except for the panel with the Lucky Cats. No excuse for that.

That's about it, though. It's missing a lot of my personal favorite scenes, as well most of the ones that follow Kel's emotional growth, or set up later story elements about her growing up. The sparrows are relegated to secondary cast, which I feel really strips down the driving thematic elements of wanting to protect the small. I also feel like it's sort of ignoring the gendered element of the story; it feels like Just This One Dude has it out for her, and mostly everyone else is fine, something I find especially troubling since the complexity of him becoming a reluctant ally is important.

I feel like condensing it makes the whole story seem like it's moving too fast, as well as making it seem like all of this is essentially a breeze for Kel, when her struggle is, at this point, most of the story. There's a lot of parts where I go, well, I know why that's important, because I know (and recently reread) the book, but would a new reader know what's going on? Would they understand why these different parts are important, and what they're relevant to? I'm not even sure all of the actions scenes are clear if you don't already know what's happening in them, because of the lack of setup. It's followable, but I think many parts of it might be confusing.

I think it was a mistake to prioritize her tasks towards knighthood. Yes, that's the plot of the story, and the backdrop against which Kel's story is told, but it's also the most recognizable part of the genre. If you implied or summarized those parts, readers would be able to follow: oh, here she must have exercised, there she must have gotten better at jousting, and in between she must have practiced hand to hand. Imply them, create a montage page, or put insets in the upper corner of each spread. Then focus on the parts that are more unique to her journey, rather than her knighthood: finding out people are in trouble, debating with herself how to handle that trouble, struggling with protecting herself. Also, importantly, the fact that the system was arrayed against her and her concerns over whether it was selfish or brave to stand up against that injustice, and where the line was between disrespect and injustice.

The art is also... very functional. And while some stories need to be told visually, or their very point is that they're told visually, this was a print novel first. It certainly got itself across without any visuals. So serviceable art in a recognizable style isn't adding anything to that; I really feel that, for a true adaptation, it would need to have an art form that added something to the story, instead of just faithfully illustrating what's there already, with nothing in particular to latch onto or get excited about. They render the scenes fine, but they don't add anything that wasn't in the book, or even explicitly show anything that was only implicit originally.

However! Peachblossom is fantastic. Not for people who have a visceral reaction against horses making human expressions, but if you're a fan of that sort of thing, he's great. The faces are hilarious, really convey everything he's feeling, and are wonderful to look at. A shame he's relegated to such a background character, because an entire book of watching him get mad at people would be hilarious. I just need to see him bite someone.

[elliewilliamsismommy]

Jealous!Ellie where she’s trying to deny her crush on the reader but they start getting “friendly” with some guy.

Like Ellie starts seeing them doing things her & the reader did. Or the reader having a framed picture of him beside a framed picture of Ellie.

With a happy ending please

“what do you have a thing for me or something?”

a/n: okay so this has basically no plot and this is the first fic that i’ve actually tried on so i really hope you like it :) we’ve basically just got some jealous ellie sprinkled in so i hope this is what you were kind of asking for lol

word count: 2.5k (hehe)

warnings: smut MINORS DNI, top!ellie (mostly) x bottom!fem reader (mostly), strap on usage (fem receiving), oral sex, fingering, jealousy, squirting, some degrading, lots of praise (i’m a whore for that shit), idk it’s really filthy sooooo you get the gist. AFTERCARE TOO!

*

ellie’s favorite thing was your sleepovers. whether you were up all night talking and watching movies or fell asleep at eight after a long day, it was what she loved most. and the best part of it all was when she would wake up in the morning before you. the only time where she could admire you without you catching her stare. the sun shining onto your face through the curtains, your lips parted, it was so peaceful. but you were friends, nothing more. at least that’s what ellie told herself.

it was also the only time when she could touch you how she secretly wanted to. in a domestic way, almost. small gestures such as a leg against yours in bed, tucking your hair behind your ear while you slept, and the best back massages you would ever receive. she told herself that all friends do these things, it’s normal. but deep down, she hoped that you had the same feelings for her that she did for you. a burning desire to talk to you whenever you waltzed into a room, longing for you while you were out on patrols. it was almost pathetic how she felt about you. but she would never act on it.

“good morning, els” you croaked.

“how’d you sleep?” she replied.

“pretty good. what time is it?”

“it’s around 7.”

“shit!” you jumped out of bed and threw on your clothes from yesterday. “im late for patrol with elliot. will i see you later? you should come by my place and we can watch a movie or something.”

before ellie got a chance to respond, you were out the door.

“fuck…” she muttered.

*

you stomped up your wooden patio footsteps, creaking with every move. recounting everything that happened on your patrol, overthinking what you could’ve done differently. you were covered in dirt, sweat, and blood, and all you wanted was to watch a movie with ellie. you removed your old, leather boots and headed to your bathroom to get in the shower. once you were squeaky clean, you got into your pajamas and laid in bed when there was a knock on your door.

“it’s ellie” the person stated.

“thank god you’re here. come in,” she opens the door and hops on your bed next to you. “i’ve been looking forward to this all day. what are we watching?” you sighed.

“how was patrol?” ellie questioned, taking your leg into her hands and rubbing circles in the sore flesh and muscle. she had magical hands. you always told her that she was a masseuse in another life. she made her way down your leg and to your feet, not breaking eye contact with you. your eyes rolled back in your head and you sighed.

“patrol was- ugh… that is orgasmic. i love you so much right now, ellie” she blushed.

“love you too, y/n” she smiled, saying the words more sincerely than not.

“patrol was good. no close calls or anything. elliot’s a solid partner. he’s actually really strong which surprised me based on how scrawny he is. saved me a few times if i’m being honest. he suggested some movies if you are interested?” you answered.

“i’m glad. surprised you guys even got anything done based on the fact that he’s obviously got a thing for you.” your eyes snapped open at the statement.

“what are you talking about? he does not!” you replied defensively. ellie took your hand and focused on your eyes in a sarcastic, sympathetic way.

“he totally does. whenever you are doing anything around here, he’s always giving you the eyes. it’s disgusting, really.” she said as she held her chest, faking being sick.

“sounds like someone’s jealous.”

“i am not jealous.” ellie whispered defensively.

“aw! you’re getting all red and flustered. what do you have a thing for me or something?” you teased.

“what would be so bad about that?” she mumbled.

“are you for real? el… what are you doing?”

smiling at the nickname, she moved her hand from yours to your cheek, admiring your eyes, your mouth, your face. her eyes shifted back and forth from your eyes to your lips, signaling what she wanted.

“can i please kiss you?” she begged. without hesitation, you nodded. she moved her other hand to the back of your neck and closed the space between you. softly, sweetly, savoring your taste. you never thought that maybe you had other feelings for ellie - she was your best friend after all. but it all clicked in the matter of a kiss. you grew needier, and you both sat up on your bed. her hands ran through your hair and you kissed until you couldn’t breathe. ellie broke the kiss for air, but you quickly leaned back in for more. you couldn’t get enough of her, and she knew it. you climbed into her lap, grinding yourself into her.

“y/n” she groaned into your mouth as you pulled away. “are you sure you want this?” she asked as she placed her forehead to yours.

“yes, ellie. i want you. please.” you pleaded.

she smiled as she kissed you again. this time not so gently. she pulled at your hair and ran her hands up and down your body. her scent was intoxicating and her chest heaving up and down brought you back to reality. being with her was euphoric. all you wanted was more. she slid her hands down your torso and began to nip at your neck. she grabbed at your shirt and pulled it up off your body, along with your bra.

“oh my god. you are so beautiful.” ellie explained, lustful grin filling her face. she grabbed at your chest and began to kiss down your body.

“not so fast. you turn to take some clothes off. i wanna see you too.” you urged as you grabbed the hem of her t shirt, demanding her to take it off. with your assistance, her shirt dropped to the floor, revealing that she wasn’t wearing a bra.

“you have no idea what you do to me.”

the room became filled with sweat, heavy breathing, and soft moans. both of you began to buck your hips against the other. ellie started to become needy, begging to give you the pleasure you deserve. she headed down to your sweet spot, leaving open mouthed kisses down your body. she rubbed over your clothed slit, giving you some relief.

“please, ellie.” you heaved.

she removed your shorts and teased you a bit more, running her hands up and down your thighs. you began rubbing your legs together begging for some friction, growing more and more impatient by the second. she forced your thighs open though, not allowing you to provide yourself any consolation. finally, she removed your lacy underwear and you gasped as the cool air met your sensitive skin. she spread you apart and smiled, staring at you like she had been waiting for this for forever.

“damn, y/n. you are soaked and i’ve barely even touched you. what a dirty little slut. just begging to get fucked.”

a shiver ran through your body, eager to hear more dirty words come out of her mouth. she ran her first finger up and down your aching hole, focusing her other hand on your clit as she began to rub soft circles. your moans filled the cold night air. finally, she sunk two fingers into your cunt, enjoying the squelch from your juices. with her first thrust, you were already squirming. she used her other arm to steady your hips, preventing you from moving.

“stay still, baby. you look so pretty like this.”

she reinserts herself with two fingers and places her mouth on your little bud, sucking hard.

“o-oh my f-f-uck! ellie!” you screamed.

“yeah, you like that sweet girl?”

you nodded ferverishly. she continued licking up and down your dripping pussy, picking up the pace in her fingers. you began to feel a coil form in your stomach. ellie could feel you getting tighter, clenching around her fingers. realizing that you needed just a little bit more, she removed her fingers and mouth from you and pushed her tongue into your cunt, focusing her thumb on your clit.

“ellie! oh my god. i’m g-gonna cum! please don’t fucking stop!”

she shook her head and moaned into your pussy as you reached your high, not stopping or letting up in the slightest.

“e-el, i’m s-so sensitive. please!” you squealed as your legs began to shake. eventually, she slowed down and rubbed your clit gently, allowing you to calm down.

“holy shit, el. i think i might actually love you.” you laughed breathlessly, her deep chuckle following. she removed her numb hands from you and licked them clean, shaking them to try and gain some feeling back.

“you gettin tired, els?” you asked with a fake shyness on your voice.

“definitely not. you wanna go again?”

“is that even a question?” you hopped off of your bed, legs still shaking, and opened your closet door, grabbing a box out of the top.

“is that what i think it is?” she asked nervously.

“yep. it’s a strap. i want you to fuck me, ellie.”

her body went numb along with her hands. she had dreamt about this moment, praying that she could show you how it felt to be properly fucked.

“you sure it’s me you want fucking you? what about that dickhead elliot? i’m sure you’ve thought about having him inside of you, fucking you from behind. how do i know you won’t be thinking of him?”

you quickly became flustered. ellie would never have suspected that you had actually been thinking about her fucking you breathless for months.

“elliot means nothing to me. i’m gay. like, really gay. especially now. actually, i’ve thought about you like that before. fucking me from behind like it’s the last thing you’ll ever do. like you live for it. so, please. please fuck me, els.”

you opened the box and revealed the long, purple silicone. you helped her slip on the harness and tighten to straps so that she was as comfortable as possible. as soon as she was situated, she felt a rush come over her body. an overwhelming need to be in charge. suddenly, she grabbed your chin, forcing you to look at her with your innocent, doe-like eyes.

“don’t look at me like that. get on your knees” she spat at you harshly. you did as told, lowering yourself to face her groin. you took her into your mouth, licking up and down the shaft, giving enough friction so that she could feel it rubbing against her clit.

“fuck…” she groaned, beginning to thrust herself into your cavern. slowly at first, gradually picking up her pace. spit dripped down your face, tears flowing from your eyes. you began to gag on the cock as she forced it deeper down your throat with each push in and out. her hands gripped your hair, pulling and tugging, trying to balance herself. her breaths became more and more erratic, and the sight of you on your knees in front of her with your sole purpose of bringing her pleasure led her to her climax. her chest heaved up and down, releasing a loud, whiny moan as she came. she sat down on the bed, gesturing for you to follow her. silence filled the room as she calmed down from her high.

“are you okay?” she asked with care, breaking the silence. she wiped the drool and tears off of your face, letting her hands linger there for a second.

“yes, ellie. i’m fine. great even. just relax, babe” you explained as you took her shaky, sweaty hand into yours, connecting your foreheads once again. her breath slowed as you comforted her, stroking her hair and rubbing your thumb along her jawline. you pressed a soothing kiss to her pink lips, savoring her taste.

“you’re so beautiful.”

she leaned back in, connecting your lips softly once again. the way that she just went from fucking your throat to kissing you reassuringly practically gave you whiplash. or maybe that was just her. but you both felt at peace. you smiled into her mouth and she pulled away.

“what are you smiling about?”

“i’m just happy. that’s all” you giggled. she ran her hands down to your thighs, squeezing gently.

“im happy too. can i show you how happy you make me?” she asked nervously.

instead of answering, you pushed her back against the wooden headboard of the bed and straddled her lap, looking down at the sheath of silicone, which was still covered in your saliva, attached to her hips. with a lustful grin, you took it into your hands and guided it to your hole. slowly, you brought yourself down on it, allowing it to fill you up completely. your breath hitched when she thrusted upwards, her thighs meeting your ass.

“oh my god, ellie” you whined as you began to ride her dick. getting faster with every thrust, she pulled you in for a kiss, her lips traveling down your neck and leaving little marks everywhere they went. she drew soothing circles onto your back and grabbed your tit with the other hand, giving you even more pleasure. sweat dripped down your body, mixing with hers. you grabbed onto the headboard for balance and soon felt a familiar sensation building in your core.

“fuck e-ellie i’m gonna cum-“ you screamed as you felt her in your stomach, prodding at your g-spot with every movement up and down. she stared at you for a moment with her jaw hung, admiring the masterpiece in front of her. she wanted nothing more than to bring you the pleasure the you deserve, so she began to thrust against you from below, holding you against her to get a deeper angle. she took her other arm and rubbed your little clit, making you even more sensitive. soon enough, your body began to tremble. your toes curled as you came to your release, moaning out a pornographic sound. your vision blurred and your entire body tensed up as you soaked her torso and the bed in your fluid.

“holy shit” ellie exclaimed with concern.

you fell onto her chest, heaving on top of her as she comforted you on your way down from your high. she left small kisses on your shoulder and ran her hands through your hair, removing the sweat from your forehead. once you came back to reality, you left a sweet kiss on her lips and rolled off of her lap and onto the other side of the bed. she followed, cuddling up to you from behind.

“i’ll be right back, okay?” she whispered into your ear and you nodded and mumbled an “okay.”

when she returned, she had a bottle of water, a hair tie, and a damp washcloth. she gestured for you to sit up, and she kneeled at the edge of the bed, handing you the water and tying your hair up messily. generously, she rubbed your legs clean with the rag. you took it out of her hand and began to wipe down her stomach, which was also covered in you.

“i’m sorry, els.”

“please, please, please don’t be sorry. you are gorgeous. don’t ever apologize for that. next time we will just have to put a towel down under us, okay?” she laughed.

“i love you, ellie.”

“i love you too, y/n.”

[devildomdisaster]

Hi can I ask for the reaction of the demon brothers to the mc who always behaves fearlessly, but is afraid of a sharp clap and hides behind them?

Hi anon, this is my first ask for this blog so I hope it's what you wanted.

I got a bit carried away with this one so it ended up a bit long.

Normally fearless mc who hides behind the brothers after a loud noise

Lucifer:

Initially, Lucifer thinks that a human who has little to no magic ability (at least at first) is going to be helpless and frightened of almost everything. This is the Devildom after all, and demons would love to eat a sweet human soul.

But you routinely stand up not only to his brothers but to him.

Honestly, he finds it frustrating.

With no way to intimidate you Lucifer’s normal tactics to ensure proper behavior are rendered useless.

Not only that but you encourage his brothers to act up as well.

But your fearlessness has also endeared you to him.

Even more pride than normal radiates off him when he sees you put some lower-level demon or his brothers in their place. Even if he has to step in sometimes.

Lucifer discovers your fear as you walk into Ristorante Six and a waiter drops a tray of drinks behind you as you are being shown to your table

The tray hits the ground with a loud clatter

Lucifer turns at the noise but otherwise thinks little of the situation

You however are immediately hidden behind him, hands fisted tightly around handfuls of the back of his coat

He is surprised but quickly schools his expression into one of concern.

His first thought is if you are alright, did something on the tray somehow hit you?

He turns to you, taking your clenched fists into his hands.

For all intents and purposes you seem physically fine just…scared. Truly frightened.

Later when you have calmed down he might ask you about your reaction. But for now he will simply comfort you.

He pulls you into his arms whispering lowly into your ear, “there is nothing that can hurt you while I am here Mc. It’s alright.”

Once your breathing has slowed he’ll ask if you’d like to leave and go back to the house of lamentation.

If you were just startled he’ll spend the evening as planned, although he is far more aware of the movement of the surrounding demons. And any possible loud noises that could startle you again.

If you do want to go home he will gladly take you, he’ll propose a quieter evening, relaxing in his study listening to his records perhaps?

Mammon:

Oh, his fearless human!

He is oh so impressed at your bravery.

It’s almost reckless at times how little fear you seem to have in the face of demons.

This boy loves to watch you stand up to other demons or handle situations that others would consider frightening (especially for humans).

Your fearlessness makes you the perfect partner in crime for his schemes.

He loves the rush of getting away with his schemes and loves having you there to share that rush with even more.

Of course, when you do participate in his less than honest scheming, or even his honest ones, he is always there to protect you.

Watching you be fearless is fun but if anything could actually hurt you he is always aware of it. Ready to step in front of you at any moment. You’re his human after all. It wouldn’t due to have something harm you when he can prevent it.

You’re not even outside the house of lamentation when a rather peeved Lucifer comes into the kitchen. “Mammon!” he thunders with a loud slap of his hands on the counter.

You jump behind Mammon, face pressed into his back

One of Mammon’s arms unconsciously reaches behind him to shield you even more.

He is shocked at your reaction but the instinct to protect you kicks in instantly.

“Lucifer” Mammon warns quietly with a quick glance towards you behind him “could we maybe do this later I think Mc…” He trails off

Once Lucifer is gone, seeming to have gotten the gist of the situation, Mammon turns to you. one hand stroking your head gently until you look at him.

“Hey, Mc you’re ok. What’s gotten into ya?”

“The noise” you mumble. Half embarrassed, half still trying to calm your racing heart.

“Geez Mc, ya don’t gotta worry ‘bout stuff like that when I’m around”

He doesn’t quite understand why a loud noise would scare you but is more than willing to listen if you want to explain.

Levi

Levi doesn’t get you.

How can some magicless normie human not be afraid in the Devildom? Surrounded by actual demons? Whatever it’s not like he gets normies anyway.

But then he gets to know you and he actually likes you. You’re his Henry now, his player 2 or… whichever you prefer Mc. Even admitting this to himself is sometimes so hard.

Your whole fearlessness thing still confuses him, but it’s impressive too.

He enjoys being able to play horror games with you or watch horror anime without you being terrified.

It’s like nothing phases you. You can face down anything the Devildom throws at you. Levi thinks you’re so cool, it’s almost not fair!

He kind of wonders what actually scares you

He finds out one night when Asmo throws the door to his room open so hard it bounces off the wall with a loud slam.

Asmo is crowing about family bonding night and repainting Levi’s nails “because gaming isn’t all that matters Leviathan, and you should have been in the living room half an hour ago!”

Levi groans at Asmo’s outburst. Then pauses, blinks slowly, and realizes you’re hidden behind him quaking in…in fear?

His demon form slips out quietly and he wraps his tail around your waist protectively.

He doesn’t understand why you’re frightened but he’s got you covered normie.

“Ohhh, I didn’t know you were playing that kind of game!” Asmo grins purposely misreading the situation. “You and Mc can come down when you’re done.” he sings, shutting the door behind him as he leaves.

Levi’s face is so red, he opens and closes his mouth several times before any words make it out.

“M-mc did did Asmo do something to you? or?” He’s trying to figure out what’s got you so scared.

But he’s still so flustered from Asmo’s teasing that he can’t turn to face you. Instead, he keeps his tail protectively and hopefully comfortingly around your waist.

“No” you sniff “the noise. When the door, it just”

“Oh, good. Not good-good! I mean good that Asmo didn’t do anything.”

You’re both silent for a long moment as Levi composes himself and turns around. Levi finally has time for his surprise to hit him. This is what you are afraid of? He never would have guessed. Still, he doesn’t think any less of you. How could he? Everyone’s got their things, their fears.

“Thanks, Levi,” You say, tapping his tail gratefully.

You get to watch the red bloom across his face this time.

Satan

You being fearless is intriguing and impressive.

He has read about all sorts of phobias and a part of him wants to expose you to some common ones just to see if any of them scare you.

But he won’t.

He likes you too much for that.

You aren’t afraid of pranking Lucifer with him.

Or of late-night library searches, or cursed books, or most importantly of him.

He expected you to be afraid of him, he is the avatar of wrath after all, and his anger can and has made him lose control.

But you're not the least bit afraid of him. He truly appreciates that.

While cooking dinner the loud clatter of a pot falling to the floor and splashing its contents to the ground makes him curse and then sigh, but it makes you jump behind him.

hm? Oh. Oh!

With one hand gripping his shoulder and the other clutching his shirt, it only takes a moment for him to recognize your fear.

He realizes pretty quickly that it must have been the loud noise.

There’s a part of him, the same part that had wanted to test you for hidden phobias, that is immensely satisfied with this new information about his favorite human. Excited even.

Satan feels that knowing there is something that scares you makes you more real.

He almost chuckles at your reaction.

Instead, he guides you to a seat and as he straightens lets his knuckles brush your cheek gently.

“Are you alright Mc?”

He waits until the shock and fear have worn off before cleaning up the mess on the floor.

He knew there had to be something that scared you, he just hopes this fear isn’t tied to any…unpleasant people or situations in your life. Just the thought of that erases all his satisfaction at discovering your fear.

If you’re still a bit rattled he’ll keep you distracted, while he finishes cooking, with tales of the Devildom and the new installment of his favorite mystery show or the new novel he’s reading that he thinks you might like.

If you have recovered he’ll gladly accept your help finishing dinner.

Asmo

Asmo loves your fearlessness.

He thinks it makes you even more attractive.

He says that other than your magical potential it was one of the things that led him to make a pact with you.

“Nothing seemed to phase you, I just had to know more!”

Drags/brings you shopping a lot partly just to watch you stare rude demons down.

Of course, he is always there just in case a demon doesn’t get the point, but he takes a kind of pleasure in seeing demons try and fail to intimidate you, before leaving in shock and shame at being unable to scare a mere human.

He doesn’t let you get into dangerous situations if he can help it. Being confident and fearless is all well and good Mc, but you are still a human and demons can be dangerous.

During one of your shopping trips, there is a loud clap of excitement from a demon when they find what they were looking for.

You gasp and duck behind Asmo.

He turns an amused smile on his face.

“Mc, how can you possibly help me look for my size when you…oh!

As he sees your face he understands. You’re afraid.

He is flattered that you chose to hide behind him for protection. He thinks it shows how much you truly trust him.

He takes your hand in his, even as his head tilts slightly trying to figure out what scared you.

It all clicks a moment later. The noise.

He grips your hand a bit tighter and guides you out of the store, away from the situation.

Asmo knows that your reaction could have just been from being startled but he also knows that it could be tied to a deeper fear of something or someone.

He hopes you were just startled but makes sure you know that he will always protect you from your fears. Minor or serious.

If you let him he will have a whole self-care spa day with you after you get back to the house of lamentation.

Beel

Beel is impressed by a fearless human.

Especially one with little to no magic when first coming to the Devildom.

But he is also concerned for you.

He worries you might do something reckless.

So he makes sure to be around in order to make sure you stay safe.

Will 100% eat a lesser demon who tries to harm you.

Beel wants you to be safe.

But he is glad that your fearless nature gives you the confidence to explore more of the Devildom than just RAD classes.

He is so happy when you want to go somewhere new with him, maybe to a restaurant or cafe you haven’t tried yet.

The first time you hide behind him is after the wind blows a chair over at a nearby table outside a cafe.

You are on your feet in an instant

And in the next, you are almost cowering behind him.

Beel is startled.

He doesn’t understand why you seem so afraid.

But he pulls you into his arms anyway.

Beel comes right out and asks you about your reaction.

When you explain that it was the loud noise Beel nods.

He wants to ask if you were just startled or if there is more to your fear but doesn’t want to overstep.

He’ll wait until you are headed back to the house to ask.

Whatever your answer is he’ll accept it and in the future act accordingly to prevent you from being afraid.

Belphie

Honestly hates how fearless you are at first.

It annoys him and he wants to make you afraid of him…until he doesn't.

And the complete 180 surprises even him.

He still wonders how a human can be so fearless and kind of wonders if it's all an act you use to protect yourself.

Even so, he’s still impressed that you can be fearless in the Devildom.

He’s another one who likes to see you tell other demons to get lost.

He thinks that a human chasing off a Demon in the realm of demons is hilarious.

On the way to RAD one morning what sounds like a loud clap causes Belphie to turn and see another demon being slapped.

He goes to make a snide comment to you, only you aren’t standing next to him anymore.

Instead, you are tucked behind him holding tightly to his uniform jacket.

“Um, Mc? What exactly are you doing?”

And that’s when it all comes out.

The noise had scared you so much you had hidden behind him.

Belphie just shrugs. It’s surprising sure, considering all the other things you’ve seen and experienced in the Devildom. But hey you are a human, something was bound to scare you eventually.

He’s curious if you are just easily startled or if you have a fear of sudden loud noises.

Unlike his brothers (*Satan) he is curious enough to test you and see which it is.

Unless you come out then and there to tell him you have a fear of loud noises he will plan out a ‘prank’ to startle you again.

If it turns out it’s not a fear caused by anything serious and you are just easily startled he will use it against you occasionally, at least until he is bored of your reaction or you ask him to stop.

But he doesn’t want to hurt you, emotionally or physically. If it’s a genuine fear he’d never use it against you. And he’d personally end anyone who did.

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #588

Top Ten Beast Mode Transformers

Ah, Transformers; my comfort zone! After all the videogame-related shenanigans, I’ve got quite a lot of semi-topical stuff to cover in June. Quite a few films come out. Too many, in fact. Gah! I’ve not seen Spider-Verse or Little Mermaid yet (or Sisu!), and before the likes of Indy and Mission we’ve also got the small matter of a new Transformers film. GAH!

Anyway, Transformers are cool and I like them even if I don’t like most of the films. And the new film – Rise of the Beasts – is interesting because it’s poking at a different part of the franchise; namely the series Beast Wars. I skipped Beast Wars because, back then, I thought it looked a bit naff. Well, not naff, really; it just didn’t feel like my Transformers. I wanted the old Marvel continuity to be honest, and bounced hard off anything that was different. It’s why I never even gave Generation 2 much of a shot – and that was supposed to be a continuation of the Marvel continuity, written by the same guy!  

Ah well.

Anyway (II) – the new film. I think it looks alright. I don’t have any nostalgic connection to Optimus Primal or, er, the other characters whose names I definitely know (Cheetarah? No, that’s not it). I do have a nostalgic connection to Unicron, though, so I’m interested to see how that shakes out. But as befits the name of the film what I’m here to talk about is beast mode Transformers.

The basic gist of Transformers from the off – adapted as the toys were from existing Japanese toys – was robots turning into vehicles and things. Cars, jets, guns, whatever. Animals didn’t really make sense because, well, robots in disguise innit. You can’t disguise yourself as a poodle if you’re twenty feet tall and made of metal. Various reasons were given why it could work – pretender shells, mass shifting, nobody really caring in the first place – but as the franchise wore on it became more common. By the time of the excellent IDW continuity a few years ago, it even factored into the racism and subjugation that existed on Cybertron, because beast mode Transformers were considered inferior by some. However, I just like big robot animals at the end of the day, and that’s what this list celebrates.

So: no more to it than that. My favourite Transformers that turn into beasts and stuff. I did umm and ahh a little bit over whether they specifically had to be “humanoid robots that turn into an animal” or if I could also include Transformers whose “robot mode” for want of a better word was an animal. But if I’d gone with the former, I couldn’t have had Ravage on the list, so I went with the latter. That’s it.

Maximise! That’s what he says. In the cartoon. Never mind…

Grimlock: I mean, who else could it be, really? Grimlock, depending on what day you ask me, is my favourite Transformer (unless I say Rodimus or Megatron). He’s a big grumpy dinosaur who’s also a tactical genius and a noble leader and sometimes he’s smart and sometimes he’s dumb but he has strong Worf energy, if you know what I mean. And he’s – I cannot stress this enough – a robot tyrannosaurus rex. I just love everything about him. And, for what it’s worth, I have decided that he’s cool enough to represent all the Dinobots, basically so they don’t account for the top half of this list.

Ravage: so awesome a character I changed the rules. Ravage is a stealth mastermind, the sneakiest snoop that ever there was. And he’s a cat. Used briliiantly in IDW to represent the prejudice against beast mode Transformers, it’s how predominantly British writers have handled him – as a very intelligent, supremely loyal, but also deeply honest character who’s not afraid to speak truth to power and, crucially, actually speaks – that defines his best portrayals. Also has one of the best death scenes of all time.

Catilla: full disclosure, Catilla is one I love because I loved his toy. He’s an Autobot that turns into some kind of robot cat; probably a sabretooth tiger, but it’s a fairly basic transformation so it’s hard to say. He has a cool outer shell that’s a giant yellow tiger, and gives off strong Battle Cat energy. Sadly underutilised in fiction, his death does kick off a long-running and excellent arc in the old TFUK comics, and in my headcanon he’s always paired with his Decepticon counterpart Carnivac.

Sky Lynx: oh, I love him so much. A big, vainglorious, ego-drenched snob; a giant metal pterodactyl who’s also a leopard-thing and turns into a space shuttle. He’s two different beasts! Three, really, because they all connect together to make some kind of huge monster-bird creature. No wonder he thinks he’s the greatest Transformer of all time. He’s got a point.

Scorponok: surprisingly low on the list, I guess, but what can I say? I love all these guys. Scorpy’s great because on one hand he’s just a big, badass Decepticon leader, with sweet claws and an awesome alt-mode (a giant frickin’ scorpion!). On the other, his portrayal in the old Marvel comics was fantastic, as the “human” element of his personality made him more moderate and willing to accept an alliance with the Autobots. Again, he has an amazing – and tragic – death scene.

Carnivac: yes, it’s Catilla’s sort-of counterpart; a Decepticon hunter who turns into a wolf. My cousin had his toy and I had Catilla’s, so we had fun playing as kids. His wolf mode has a cool, very narrow snout, sort of like Death from the recent Puss-in-Boots movie. But Carnivac was awesome because he was another honourable Decepticon, rather than a ruthless murderer, and his arc where he left his teammates but refused to become an Autobot was brilliant thirty years ago. Straight-up murdered a lot of dudes in ruthless fashion, too. But they were bad so it was okay.

Shrapnel: I love the Insecticons, and here Shrapnel kinda represents all of them really. Why Shrapnel over the other two though? To be hinest as a kid I really coveted Kickback; I just loved his alt mode as, er, a sort of cricket-thing. And Kickback has the gnarliest death, squished by Hot Rod in gruesome close up. But Shrapnel was the toy I had, and I liked that. I also like his weird, um, pincer things, and the funny way he talked in the cartoon. Bombshell is boring though. Cerebro shells? Pff.

Trypticon: yes, another dinosaur, but this one is huge. A Decepticon kaiju, a whacking great city-bot who stomps around getting into fights with Metroplex. A veritable powerhouse and one of the strongest Decepticons, Trypticon is a monster. He has quite a cool role in the IDW comics as a Titan and eventually a kind of nursemaid to a generation of new Transformer sparks. But mostly I like him for being a big unit who beats up everyone.

Tarantulas: now we get to characters that I haven’t loved for thirty years. Tarantulas, to be honest, was a mystery until Nick Roche’s Sins of the Wreckers, where he’s revealed as a supremely sinister mad scientist who had a complicated and frankly disturbing relationship with Prowl where they both ended up as parents to Springer… yeah, complicated. Also he once shrunk down to a tiny spider, crawled inside someone’s head, and grew back to normal size. Nice guy.

Sky-Byte: another one who was popular in the fanbase for years but who I only glommed onto, as they say, once he popped up in the IDW comics. For shame! For who could not love a giant robot shark that can fly, and is also a poet? An artistic soul, a Decepticon who rejects the violent excesses of his own team, Sky-Byte has a tragic nobility that I find appealing. And did I mention he’s a flying shark?

He didn’t make the list, but let’s not forget that in the Rescue Bots cartoon Optimus Prime also turned into a big red t-rex. Stomping on Grimmy’s turf; has he no shame?

[all-about-seggs]

Dropped Façades-

Rating:❌ 18+, Explicit ❌

Pairing: Levi Ackerman x shy! female reader

Word count: 2K

Warnings: Masturbation, fingering, vaginal sex (on the rougher side)

 A/n: This is a happy!AU where everything is good and nobody dies OKAY?!ಥ_ಥ

Shining bands of morning light filled your vision making you squint from its brilliance but the sunny whether didn’t do much to deter the hazy clouds looming over your sunken heart.

   “ I’m heading off then”, the apathetic tone of your boyfriend’s voice matched his equally deadpan look as he called out to you from the front door.

 Another night of Levi staying over at your place came to a monotonous end. Ever since the beginning of your relationship, your nights have been a predictable cycle of him cooking for you, a few kisses exchanged before bed, that too if he’s feeling generous and then going your separate ways the next day.

Your shyness combined with the intimidating aura of the drill sergeant you were dating held you back everytime the sun went down and the ache in your core begged for attention.

Being an astonishingly disbalanced mix of prim and proper and foul mouthed, Levi didn’t left much to the imagination when it came to his likes and dislikes so you often ended up being what you figured he needed the most.

Be it keeping up with his mandatory cleaning or intervening everytime you know he’s on the cusp of whiplashing his subordinates, you were what placated him and brought serenity in his life.

You thought being in love with him and have it reciprocated would make the entire process as natural as breathing but the longer it went on the more harder it became to get out of your shell. Maybe it’s not the most idealistic phase of your relationship, self sacrifice was afterall, just a pretty word.

And the primary cause of your concern was completely at odds with the noble emotions of the duty you took upon as Levi’s girlfriend.

Lackluster was what the current state of your sex life could’ve been described as if it existed in the fist place. For the first three weeks of your budding relationship, not only work but your internal conflict was getting in the way of your understandable desires. And the fact that even he didn’t tried to make a move on you got you wondering if he was even interested in sex or in you physically.

Pushing the thoughts of potential sexy times with Levi away you walk over to the front door to send him off him, every second of the ten step way filled with the silence of unspoken words.

Even after he left, your stared at the empty place getting more and more annoyed by your own incompetence to speak out. Wanting to distract yourself from your current trail of thoughts you started to think of stuff to do until your laundry basket caught your eye.

There among your clothes laid your boyfriend’s shirt that he wore last light and despite your attempts at talking yourself out of the upcoming urge to play with your untouched pussy you find yourself grabbing the article out of the basket and onto your bed.

Spreading the shirt over your pillow, you take in Levi’s lingering scent. It was an embarrassing sight of considered from a second person’s point of view, creepy even. But right now this was all you had to calm your sexually frustrated self. Lying sideways on the bed you shoved your pants and underwear down your legs to get better access to your core.

As you caressed your clit you thought about how his own fingers would feel, the calloused and roughened tips of his fingers that held more strength than one cannot even imagine, just the thought of those digits entering you and stretching you out fuelled your arousal.

You were sure he could make you cum with his hands in less than half the time it takes you but gosh did you wanted his cock. You wanted to see it, touch it, suck it and choke in it if possible, how it would feel stretching your cunt and hitting that g-spot which made you shiver and scream for more. Thoughts of your pussy being filled to the brim with his girth overtook all five of your senses.

Letting your imagination run rampant your trembling body was practically making the bed creak, not even sensing Levi’s presence even when he was standing next to the bedroom door, arms crossed with a look of utter disdain.

“Have you been spending the past three weeks getting off of your hand?”, his annoyed voice overtaking your soft mewls pulled you back from the edge. Recovering from the initial shock, your naked body splayed out on the bed clammed up under his sharp eyes, thinking it’d be best to not hide your visibly throbbing pussy so you waited for him to continue, face and neck growing hotter by the second in shame and guilt.

   “ I forgot my shirt so I had to come back, but”, eyeing up the spit covered clothing he strutted towards you, “ it seems you’ve already taking a liking to it”.

Now taking a spot right next you, his one arm reached out, taking your chin in between his hand, he gave it a hard tug, to make you face him from an angle that made his callous eyes seem downright frightening.

“Look at that mess. Who do you think is going clean it up? ”, Levi’s voice was almost a hiss, an icy thread crackling along the cold air of your bedroom.

Drooling all over his shirt, you haphazardly started fixing your clothes you pushed yourself in a sitting position.

“I’m- I’m sorry! I’ll clean that up!”, You squeak, searching for some tissues or towel to wipe the fabric and making it a point to avoid eye contact. Watching you panic like he just caught you committing a crime, he heaved a sigh, half exasperated and half amused by your shyness.

His face didn’t give away his thoughts but surprisingly, his words did.

“I wanted you to feel comfortable enough to bring it up”, eyeing at the slick that covered your inner thighs he dropped his gaze to the ground before starting back up, “ but I guess I am partly at fault too for not taking any initiative either”.

“well?, it’s your turn to tell me what you want”, The stiff tone of his voice was offset by the gentle look of his eyes.

All his straightforwardness came to a halt when he saw you sitting there shell shocked. Your dazed look, induced by his unexpected words, became still for a while. Not wanting to be the only one who kept their cards closed you forced yourself to speak.

  “ Then, I want you to stay here……. And”, trailing off you meekly take a hold of his crisp dress shirt, still unable to look at him directly and hoping he’ll get the gist.

The next couple of seconds went by in a flash when your top came off and got thrown to the floor, with him pinning you down, Levi takes off the rest of your cloths and his effortlessly.

With only his boxers on he sat next to you, taking one of your thigh in his firm grip, he spread your legs open. Sharp gaze falling on your already moistened core he wordlessly slipped two of his thick digits inside, making you jolt at the contact.

“Move”, his command seemed both out of place and erotic at the same time, making you struggle a little before finding the right pace.

Back unintentionally arching against the bed you lift your hips, bucking against his hand while he leaned down to bit your nipple, coaxing a cry of pleasure out of you. Your entire body trembled with the sheer amount of effort it took for you to move.

“I saw you move your hips better than this when you were fucking yourself y/n. Faster”, his every word sent pleasant shivers up your spine, making you wonder if you always had such an authority kink. Or if you  were just naturally submissive in front of your deliciously dominant boyfriend.

You rolled your hips faster, gyrating them deeper into his fingers, only for them to be abruptly pulled out, making you feel empty. But in your daze you noted Levi's own impatience when he got off the bed to reach for his pants.

The thumping of your heartbeat filled your ears as you watched him take out a condom from his pant pocket. Revelling in the fact that he too wanted this to happen sooner or later.

Rolling down the latex over his shaft, Levi didn’t wasted a single moment before sliding himself into your sopping wet hole. His length stretched you enough to make you cum on the spot but you wanted him to take you higher so you waited for him to move. Settings his own pace he started plunging in and out of you ruthlessly, filling your senses with both pain and pleasure.

“You- You’re being …Too rough!”, Voice cracking by the force of his thrusts your entire body shifted higher up the bed and for a split second you worried about the state of your bed.

“Well we did decided to be more honest with each other”, with his voice as steady as his hard thrusts, Levi rammed his cock into with an unforgiving pace right off the bat “ and this is my way of doing this”.

It didn’t take him long to hit your sweet spot, your high pitched yelps just confirming his perfect angle and he snapped his hips again and again to reach the depths of your cunt.

The constant pounding of his cock was bringing you closer to your release, the toe curling pleasure just within your reach made you impatient so you bucked your hips to match his movements.

Levi’s pulsating member inside you soon gave you the final push you needed to experience the mind numbing euphoria you wanted for so long and with a few more rolls of his hips you felt him follow right after, with some low grunts of his own.

His muscular body falling on top of your, he breathed in your raw scent, tucking his face in the crook of your sweaty neck and for the first time ever you saw the sight of a disheveled and messy Levi Ackerman.

It was undeniably sexy, the way his bangs stuck to his forehead, body gleaming with a sheen layer of clean sweat. The pleasant fatigue you were experiencing took you in a dreamlike state from which you didn’t wanted to wake up from until,

“Get your ass off of the damn bed and go shower”, abruptly rolling you off of you, Levi’s words are almost like a warning.

“I’ll clean up in here”.

“Wait- what happened to my sweet and gentle aftercare?!”, Feeling a bit dejected you whined as you watched him put on his boxers, the seriousness of his face told you it’s better to just get off the bed without any questions. Your desire to bask in the afterglow of your hot sex coming to a premature end was expected. Yet you couldn’t accept it so this time you let your hesitation go, not wanting to repeat the same cycle of frustration you had experienced a while back.

“Then……..Can I expect some action in the bathroom too?”, biting your lips to hold back your smirk you turn to look at Levi for a response to your obvious attempt to elongated your intimate time together. “what?! Can’t blame me for asking you to make up for the past dry three weeks!”.

“If you behave like a good girl then I’ll give you something in the bathroom too”, not even glancing in your direction, he spoke nonchalantly, making quick work of the dirty sheets.

“ like what, a bath?”, Sceptically eyeing his face you silently hoped you had a longer night ahead.

“You were not the only one who was waiting for this you know”, his uncharacteristically soft voice made you do a double take.

Levi was smiling. But for all his delicate features, his smile was like a knife.

And this was all the confirmation you needed to know he’s gonna wreck you good and long.

[grahamfolgersdeliciousnotebooks]

For @jonmartinweek Day 5 - Poetry

(view this work on AO3)

Jon had always thought he was rather good with words. He had a degree in literature from Oxford, after all; he could write an essay with the best of them. Verbal communication had, admittedly, never been his strong suit, but he managed. Even if he wasn’t eloquent, he could always get the point across.

Lately, though, he felt completely tongue-tied. He’d spent the better part of a year just trying to get Martin to speak to him, and now he had his ear near-constantly - from the moment he woke up beside Martin each morning, to the moment they fell asleep in each other’s arms each night - and he couldn’t begin to put everything he felt into words.

He knew he had the most important part covered. He said I love you freely, almost thoughtlessly - the words were never far from his mind, and sometimes he didn’t even realize he’d said them until Martin said them back. But he wanted Martin to know precisely how he felt - all the love, all the joy, all the agony he’d felt before, when he thought he’d missed his chance, all the relief he’d felt upon realizing he hadn’t. He wanted Martin to know that he felt safer here with him - on the run from the police and about a dozen supernatural threats but together - than he ever had before. He wanted Martin to know that he thought about him, always, even when they were apart.

Most of what he said, though, was completely mundane. It was all comments about the weather, debates about whose turn it was to do the dishes, reminders that they were running out of eggs.

And, occasionally, arguments about poetry.

“You really don’t like any poetry?” Martin asked one night as they lay curled on the couch together, a fire roaring in the hearth beside them.

“I didn’t say that!” Jon protested, “I said I don’t like most poetry. I just- I just don’t really see the point.”

Martin sputtered, voice going high-pitched with indignation. “The point? It’s art, Jon, the point is to make you feel things!”

“I know, I just think prose does that a lot more… cleanly.” Jon couldn’t exactly make out exactly what Martin muttered in response to that, but he thought he sensed the gist of it. “I’m sorry!” he said, though he was laughing.

“No, no, you can’t help it,” Martin conceded. “A poem either affects you or it doesn’t, it’s not something you can control. I’m going to find a poem that affects you, though!”

“I’ll save you some time and tell you that I’ve never liked Keats.”

Martin sighed. “I can’t believe I love you.”

Jon snuggled closer until he was more or less in Martin’s lap, and Martin instinctively wrapped his arms around him. “I love you, too,” Jon said, choosing to ignore the first half of the statement.

“Ooh, wait!” Martin said, pulling away briefly and sitting up to grab his phone from his pocket. “I have an E. E. Cummings poem saved to my phone!” Jon raised an eyebrow, and Martin explained, “The title’s really long and I can never remember it. I got tired of googling, like, ‘e. e. cummings tree hands fingers’ every time I wanted to read it, so I just took a screenshot.” He scrolled through the photos saved to his phone, brow furrowed in concentration, until he came to the correct one. “Here!” he said, passing the phone to Jon, “What do you think of this?”

Jon read it. He wanted to like it, he really did - if Martin liked it enough to save it to his phone, he wanted to love it, but in truth it felt like a tidy encapsulation of all of his frustrations about poetry. Why couldn’t poets ever just say what they meant? Why did they have to construct sentences that were blatantly incomprehensible and then pat themselves on the back for their own cleverness?

“It’s… nice,” he lied, rather unconvincingly.

“You hate it.”

“I don’t… I just don’t get it! If you love it, then I’m sure there’s something there, but h-honestly, I don’t even know what it means! A-And I know poetry doesn’t have to obey the rules of grammar and syntax, but this isn’t poetic, it’s just wrong!”

“That’s the point!” Martin insisted. “All the syntax is just off enough that it trips you up and makes you stop and think - A-And you can’t exactly make sense of it with your logical brain, but you can feel it-” he cut himself off suddenly, losing momentum mid-monologue and seeming to curl in on himself. “O-Or that’s how I see it, anyway. I never actually studied poetry, so-”

“No, no, go on!” Jon said. Even if he didn’t agree with his interpretation, it was mesmerizing to watch him talk about something he was passionate about. “What else do you like about it?”

“Well, the parentheticals, for one. They feel like - not afterthoughts, exactly, but like they’re so obvious that he doesn’t need to say them out loud, but he does anyway, and- and I don’t know, there’s something so romantic about that. And the second stanza! Did it really not make you feel anything?”

“Not really,” Jon admitted, almost ashamed.

“Maybe you just need to hear it out loud,” Martin said, “Sometimes that helps.” He sat up. With the hand that wasn’t holding his phone, he grabbed Jon’s hand, and Jon listened with rapt attention as he read.

now all the fingers of this tree(darling)have

hands, and all the hands have people; and

more each particular person is(my love)

alive than every world can understand

.

and now you are and i am now and we're

a mystery which will never happen again,

a miracle which has never happened before–

and shining this our now must come to then

.

our then shall be some darkness during which

fingers are without hands; and i have no

you: and all trees are(any more than each

leafless)its silent in forevering snow

.

—but never fear(my own, my beautiful

my blossoming)for also then's until

And Jon still couldn’t say he understood it, really, but he thought he could almost see the appeal. There was something there, but it might just have been the sound of his boyfriend whispering the words my own, my beautiful, my blossoming, into the quiet of their cabin.

***

They had developed a routine, since they came to Scotland. Every Tuesday, they would gather up all the books they’d read in the past week and head to the library. Martin would go in first, return the books, pick out a few for himself, and make sure that the regular weekday librarian was in, and had not switched shifts with the weekend librarian who’d had an encounter with the Dark when she was a child. (They’d discovered this one unfortunate Saturday when Martin had had to all but drag Jon out of the library to make sure he didn’t Compel her.) If the coast was clear, Jon would spend the day in the library while Martin ran errands. He’d pick out a week’s worth of books for himself, read in the back room on the second floor that was always completely unoccupied, and print out recipes he wanted to make in the week ahead on the library’s ancient computers.

This particular Tuesday, Jon found himself unconsciously gravitating toward the library’s scant poetry section. He hadn’t forgotten his conversation with Martin, and he wanted to understand. He pulled an anthology off the shelf more or less at random and flipped through the table of contents to find that it contained several love poems by E. E. Cummings. That seemed as good a place as any to start.

He read one, and he thought he understood.

***

Jon ran the words over in his mind. He’d read the poem a dozen times - it wasn’t very long - and done his best to memorize it, but he worried the words would flee as soon as he tried to say them out loud. He should have followed Martin’s lead and taken a picture.

After dinner, as Martin set their plates in the sink and put the kettle on for tea, Jon broached the subject.

“Martin, love, there’s something I wanted to say.”

“Oh?” Martin turned around, and when Jon saw the spike of anxiety in his eyes, he hastened to say,

“Nothing bad!”

“Alright, then,” Martin said, “What is it?”

Martin watched him expectantly, and he looked so beautiful in the dim yellow light of their kitchen that for a moment, Jon couldn’t speak. “R-Right. Um…” It occurred to him then just how odd what he was about to do was. It had seemed, earlier, like a good idea, but now it just felt awkward, and embarrassing. But he couldn’t back out now, and, anyway, he had wanted to find a way to tell Martin how he felt, so he cleared his throat and tried to remember all the words.

He could feel the Knowledge of the correct words buzzing at the back of his skull, but he ignored it. He wouldn’t take the Eye’s help in this. He’d do it properly.

“What I wanted to say, was. Well, i-it was. Ahem.

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in

my heart)i am never without it(anywhere

i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done

by only me is your doing,my darling)

                                                     i fear

no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want

no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)

and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

.

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

.

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)”

For a moment, Martin simply stared. “Jon, did you… Did you memorize an E. E. Cummings poem?”

Jon squirmed under his gaze, cheeks on fire. “I, erm. I did.” he said. He opened his mouth to explain further, but before he could, Martin had crossed the short distance between them and was pulling him into a kiss. Jon startled, but didn’t pull away. Instead, he leaned into the contact, bringing his hands up to cradle Martin’s face, embarrassment forgotten.

“Any, uh. A-Any particular occasion?” Martin asked when they broke apart. Jon shook his head.

“No, I just- I love you so much, Martin, and I don’t do enough to show it-”

“What?” Martin exclaimed. “Jon, you pulled me out of the Lonely! I think you’re pretty much covered on grand romantic gestures.”

“That doesn’t count,” Jon said, “that wasn’t romantic!”  

“Agree to disagree on that,” Martin scoffed.

Jon started to protest, but Martin cut him off with another kiss.

“You don’t have anything to prove,” he said softly, and Jon nodded, and the moment passed. The kettle started whistling, and Martin pulled it from the hob as Jon turned his attention to the dishes. He ran Martin’s words over in his mind as he rinsed their plates from dinner. You don’t have anything to prove. Trust wasn’t always something that came naturally to him, but he trusted Martin. Which meant that, somehow, that must be true.

When the dishes were clean and Jon had set them on the rack to dry, Martin handed him a cup of tea, and eyed him thoughtfully as he took a sip from his own mug.

“I wonder if you’d like Mary Oliver,” he mused.

“Hmm?” Jon asked around a mouthful of tea.

“I still need to find a poem that makes you feel things.”

“I, uh. I rather thought I’d found one.”

“Well, yeah, you found one. But I promised that I’d find one.”

After that, as they finished their tea and rinsed out their mugs, and wandered into the living room, Martin kept speculating about what kind of poetry Jon might enjoy.

“Honestly, I bet you’d like Richard Siken,” he said as Jon finished lighting a fire in the grate and came to join him on the couch. “I should see if they have a copy of Crush at the library.”

Jon hummed his agreement as though he knew what he was talking about, and rested his head on Martin’s shoulder.

“I love you, too, you know,” Martin said after a moment. “You’re my- my world, and my fate, and ‘whatever the moon will sing’ and all of that.”

“The sun,” Jon corrected softly, “Whatever the sun will always sing.”

“Know-it-all,” Martin whispered.

“Yes,” Jon agreed, “Quite literally.”

Martin laughed, and turned to press a kiss to Jon’s temple, and Jon supposed he couldn’t be so bad with words after all.

(View this work on AO3)

[goldentournesol]

The Receptionist and the Profiler (Epilogue)

Chapter Eight: Epilogue

(Spencer Reid x f!Reader)

Series Masterlist

General Masterlist

A/N: Welcome to the final chapter of the series. this is just a summary of what Spencer and Reader’s life is like in the future. thank you so much for joining me on this journey. I’ve enjoyed it so much more than I thought I would. So without further ado, enjoy.

Working for the FBI made for a pretty wild life. Even though Y/N wasn’t an agent, her life had been caught up with work just like all the other agents’. It also didn’t help that her boyfriend was endangered practically every minute of every day. It was hard, but Spencer and Y/N made it work. Among the darkness, they created light for each other. Spencer was no longer dreading coming home to a quiet life of reading and rereading his favorite books. He had a partner, he had a lover, someone to depend on. She was there for him as he grieved the loss of his friend and coworker deeply and she was there when he struggled with his excruciating migraines. They walked through life together, facing the challenges head on.

Emily’s death had taken a toll on the both of them, but they were nothing short of relieved when they found out that she was alive and well. Many changes took place after that.

JJ had worked long and hard to turn into a profiler, the liaison had years upon years of experience before switching jobs which meant Hotch had to find a new communications liaison, but he didn’t have to look far at all. He had offered Y/N the job without a second thought. A lot of her job as receptionist covered a liaison’s job. She would often get numerous calls a day from nosy reporters and she’d have to shut them down. However, with the added responsibilities, she’d had to take classes and had undergone copious amounts of training with JJ and Hotch, but she found that she flourished in this new job, despite the hardships that came with it.

This meant that she had her own office now. Whenever Spencer wasn’t at his desk, he was in her office, and whenever she wasn’t in her office, she was at his desk. She often found that she missed her old job as receptionist, but nothing could replace the newfound feeling of making a difference in the world. She used to admire JJ’s ability to stand before nosy reporters and judgmental cops, and here she was, blowing herself (and the team) away with these hidden abilities. 

Before, she was aware of the general gist of the job, she knew it wasn’t easy, but the team often kept the gory details to themselves around her. Now, she had to pick and choose the gore which constantly left her with the question of whether she’d made the right choice or not. The intensity of the job had slightly damaged her spirits, but thankfully she had an amazing support system. She couldn’t have done it without Spencer’s unending support, or Hotch’s for that matter. Before allowing Y/N to accept the job, Hotch had made sure to warn her about the horrors first. She assured him she was ready, even though sometimes she felt like she wasn’t.

On the somewhat bright side, this also meant that she was around during most, if not all cases. This had Spencer jumping for joy, but it also terrified him to his bones. All his emotions were always on overdrive when it came to her. He was glad that he didn’t have to spend so much time away from her, but it simultaneously meant that he was constantly worried for her safety. He never wanted her to go into the field, ever. No matter the amount of combat training she did with Morgan. She found that she preferred interviewing victims’ families and controlling the press to facing serial killers head on anyway.

Sometimes it was easier for her to control the press from Quantico, so it wasn’t uncommon for her to stay back during cases. One particular case had dragged on for much longer than any of them had expected. The whole team was gone in Wisconsin and Hotch had asked her to stay back and hold down the fort at Quantico. The team ended up staying there for two weeks. It was the longest she’d ever been away from Spencer. Nightly calls weren’t enough for them and Spencer truly hadn’t experienced such an emptiness without her before.

As he scooped her into his awaiting arms right outside the elevator when they finally made it back to the office, he breathlessly declared to her, “Marry me.”

She pulled back from the tight embrace to examine his features, “What?” She said, voice thick with confusion.

“I don’t want to be away from you for that long ever again. I don’t want to wait anymore. Marry. Me.” He enunciated firmly. She broke out into a grin.

“Okay, I will.” She laughed and he squeezed her once more, savoring her warmth.

“This isn’t the official proposal by the way, you deserve something far nicer than all this, but I just want you to know that I’m ready if you are.” Spencer clarified and she threw her head back with laughter. Spencer’s heart soared at the sound.

Spencer took that statement and ran with it. He teased her every chance he got. At one dinner date they had planned, he had the nerve to begin his sentence with her full name, her heart dropping to her gut.

“Y/N Y/L/N, would you do me the honor of...sharing this fine wine with me?” Spencer said smugly, resulting in a shocked, but somehow relieved scoff coming from her.

A different time, he decided to give her a false alarm during one of their daily lunch walks in the park nearest to Quantico. He knelt down to one of his knees in the middle of their promenade.

“Y/N Y/L/N, will you...wait for me while I tie my shoe?” Spencer asked with a face-splitting grin. This time, she didn’t hesitate to shove his shoulder slightly, causing him to lose balance and almost faceplant into the pavement.

At this point, she truly had no idea when he was going to pop the big question. Knowing him, it could literally be at any point in time. She had to admit, though, he kept her on her toes. A month later, she was sure he’d pop the question during JJ’s wedding reception because of the way he was staring at her all night. He’d looked dreamy in his tux to say the least. Y/N was almost too shy to dance with him because of how magnificent he looked. What she didn’t know was that he was thinking the same exact thing about her. She looked exquisite in the evening gown she adorned and Spencer was absolutely enraptured by her. 

Being so surrounded by love and admiration, Spencer finally asked her to marry him the second they made it through her front door. They stood in the small hallway between the kitchen and the living room. She had just turned around from taking her heels off and was met with Spencer down on one knee, holding the most beautiful ring out to her in a navy blue velvet box.

“I had this elaborate speech planned, Y/N, I really did. I was going to talk about the stars, about the first conversation we had when I told you about the origins of yogurt, about how stupid we were for not realizing our love for each other earlier, but I realized that none of that matters right now. All I know is that this feels right, you make everything feel right. Will you marry me?” Spencer asked, his face incapable of hiding even a sliver of the adoration he felt for her.

“Yes, I’ll marry you in every lifetime and every universe.” She said, tears falling freely from her eyes. He sprang to his feet and wrapped her up in a long awaited embrace. He felt her body shake with wet laughter against his. He placed the ring on her finger and quickly kissed her passionately. Their giddy giggles flew through and around them.

Spencer knew she didn’t want a long engagement. Her previous engagement was hard enough of the both of them. Their jobs were just so demanding, it was hard to set a date and keep from pushing it back. Their wedding planner was beyond frustrated with them, but what can they do? They’re literally out there saving lives. And before they knew it, two years had passed them by and they were due to be married in two months.

But, alas, Spencer Reid seemed to have a knack for getting shot by unsubs right before weddings. While they were investigating a difficult case in Texas, Spencer was shot in the neck. Y/N was at the police station when she’d heard. She wasn’t sure who took her to the hospital to see him, everything was a blur since she got the call. She was plagued by the fear of losing him. 

She’d overheard Alex Blake and JJ discuss how he’d always wanted children when she arrived at the hospital. In the back of her mind, she screamed that she’d give him all the kids he wanted, if the universe just let them breathe. 

All too quickly, she was a sobbing mess in JJ’s arms. He’d gotten hurt before, he’d been in danger before, but she’d never been as close to it as she was then, it terrified her. Garcia had arrived and guided her to Spencer’s room. In another flash of events, there was a loud bang and Y/N had barely registered that a gun was shot inside the room.

The ringing of her ears subsided just enough to hear Spencer tell Garcia, “You saved my life, do you hear me?” 

That was the second time his life was endangered in the span of two hours. Y/N looked her fiancé square in the face.

“I don’t want to wait anymore. As soon as you’re up and well, we’re getting married.”

Exactly one week later, they’d rushed through whatever they could rush through. Thankfully her dress was ready and altered, the cake was made to order, but sadly, they’d given up their gorgeous, gorgeous venue. Rossi was more than happy to offer up his backyard and the couple found it more than fitting to commemorate their love in the very location where Spencer had first confessed his feelings to her and where she’d returned them later. 

Life truly came full circle as Spencer stood in the same exact spot where he’d confessed his undying love for her the very first time. Spencer did everything he could to keep from sobbing like a child as he saw the owner of his heart stand before him, just like she did that day, but this time adorning her white dress.

Being the romantic sap that he was, he recounted almost every milestone in perfect detail during his vows. Through the unrelenting tears, of course. Y/N’s words came out wobbly and wet, but she managed to get her vows out. There really was not a single dry eye in the small, intimate crowd. The entire team had watched them fall in love oh-so-gracelessly over the years.

Their ceremony was beautiful. It was different than JJ’s had been, it was more special to the two of them. Spencer was in nothing short of awe as he watched his wife sway with Henry wrapped up in her embrace on the dance floor. Henry’s little arms and legs were wound tightly around her, the bottoms of his shoes surely smearing dirt all over the back of her dress, but she didn’t care. Not when Spencer was looking at her like that. His throat clogged itself up as she caught his eye and smiled sweetly. The same thing was on both their minds, it was like an unspoken agreement had been made through some kind of special, invisible bond between them.

He couldn’t wait to have a family with that woman.

And they’d wasted absolutely no time. Three months after the wedding, Y/N announced that she was carrying a baby Reid. Tears and cheers erupted for them all. They had found the perfect little house with the help of Morgan. It was perfect for their growing family.

Pregnancy wasn’t easy on Y/N at all. Flying all around the country and helping catch serial killers was not an activity that pregnant Y/N wanted to engage in. The team had been more than forgiving as they dealt with her mood swings and crazy cravings. It also turns out that soon-to-be mama Y/N was especially helpful in chewing out unsubs in the interrogation room, but as useful as she proved to be, she couldn’t wait to pop the little peanut out.

Spencer and the team were rushing off the jet to the hospital as they’d heard Y/N had gone into labor. Spencer had only missed the very beginning and was by her side the entire time after that.

They welcomed baby Emelia Reid into this world on a chilly September night. Spencer was over the moon, he was borderline obsessed with looking at the baby and keeping a hand on her at all times whenever she was in the room with them. 

He waited for his mother to fly out a few days later just to meet baby Emelia. He wept as he watched his mother kiss the top of his baby girl’s head. No other feeling could ever compete with the one he experienced at that moment in time.

Emelia had grown into such a radiant little girl. She was a miniature hurricane of chocolatey brown curls and rosy red cheeks. She’d already blown her parents away as her intelligence only seemed to increase with time. The similarities she had to her father were astonishing. She was a daddy’s girl through and through, but Y/N didn’t seem to mind sharing him. Not when the sight of them together instantly melted her heart every single time.

Diana tried to be as active in the baby’s life as she could possibly be, however her condition began to worsen over time. Eventually, Diana had had to move in with Y/N, Spencer, and Emelia. Thankfully, their house was large enough, but taking care of a toddler and Diana while being 6 months pregnant was inarguably too much to handle for Y/N. She’d found out that she was pregnant again, and they were expecting another baby girl. Y/N had also taken time off from work to focus on the dilemmas at home. 

The at-home nurse was doing the best she could since Spencer was always either at work or off finding Diana some kind of new treatment. He’d told Y/N that he’d been going to Mexico to get her some special medication and so she didn’t mind as long as she’d been kept in the loop of where and how he was. Spencer Reid never kept anything from his wife. They were always transparent with each other. Y/N was glad that he’d told her about his trips down to Mexico, or else she’d be out of her mind looking for him. 

But suddenly, during one trip, he’d stopped answering her calls. Complete silence on his end. It had driven her absolutely mad. It was only until JJ visited her the next morning informing her that Spencer had been arrested in Mexico for the illegal possession of drugs and possibly murder. If JJ hadn’t been around to catch Y/N before passing out, she or the baby would have been in extreme danger.

But Spencer Reid never kept anything from his wife. She’d been adamant that she would have known if he was struggling with drugs again. The last time she’d seen Spencer was during the trial. He’d looked so terrified as they pronounced him guilty and shoved him away from her. From his family. He’d spared Y/N one last broken glance, his gaze drifting down to her swollen belly. Their second child was on the way and he won’t be there to meet them. He mouthed a heartfelt apology before they took him away. Y/N wept and wept until everyone but the team left the courtroom.

“How am I gonna do this, Pen? How am I gonna do this without him?” She spoke between breathy sobs. The baby, Emelia, Diana. She couldn’t do it on her own. It would break her.

“You won’t be alone, Y/N. We’re all going to help you.” Penelope reassured her, but the only thing that was capable of reassuring her was currently in handcuffs behind closed doors.

She’d had to keep Spencer’s whereabouts from Diana and Emelia. She’d told him that he was consulting a case somewhere in California, where he also had access to the beach. Up until that lie wasn’t viable enough. Emelia’s questions about her daddy absolutely tore through what remained of her heart.

Diana’s caretaker had apparently quit and a new one came by. Y/N thought something was off, but she pushed that thought aside as she worried over her husband and the baby that they were due to meet any day now. Two months had passed and Spencer was still incarcerated, he hadn’t allowed Y/N or Emelia anywhere near the prison, but she’d broken down at the possibility of him being locked away for 25 years.

She’d visited him once, right after the birth of their second baby. They’d had another beautiful baby girl, whose name had been decided long ago by the two parents. Baby Adaline. The delivery was immensely difficult without him, but she pushed through. Y/N had almost begged Emily to pull any, any strings she could to get them to meet since Spencer said he’d only agree to see them if he could ensure their privacy and safety. They’d managed to get them in with Spencer’s lawyer, Fiona. Y/N cooed to Adaline as she cradled her in her arms, wrapped in her little blanket. The cooing served as a distraction as she waited anxiously for Spencer to meet them in the small little room. 

Suddenly the doors emitted a loud buzzing noise, prompting a loud cry from Adaline. A sound that was strange to echo off the walls of this place. Y/N shushed her gently until she caught sight of her husband walking through the door. Tears gathered in her eyes as she took in his disheveled state. His eyes found hers and quickly flitted to the squirming bundle of joy in her arms. Spencer’s lip wobbled as he entered the room. Y/N shifted Adaline to rest upon her shoulder as she wrapped one arm tightly around Spencer. No touching was allowed, but the guards pretended to look the other way, courtesy of whatever strings Emily had pulled.

The three of them bawled against each other in an unceremonious reunion. Spencer at last pulled away from his wife and stared at the baby in the bundle. He hesitated to carry her. His hands were clean, but they still felt so dirty. How could his hands hold this beautiful gift of life while they’d been committing such heinous acts within these very walls? But one utterance from his wife made that all vanish.

“It’s okay, Spence.” She smiled slightly, angling Adaline towards him. 

He gazed at Y/N closely, as if checking to see if she was sure. Y/N carefully handed her over to him and he instantly turned into less of a shell of himself and had begun to resemble the man that Y/N could recognize. He cooed to her softly, kissing her face repeatedly. Adaline instantly quieted down at her father’s touch.

The small interaction had fueled the pair for weeks. Spencer found a source of hope and was determined to see through to the other side. He would not rot away in his cell forever. The team continued to try and crack the case from the outside. Y/N was instructed to be more careful than ever. She often brought Emelie and Adaline to work with her. She had not been flying out with the team, preferring to stay close to her girls until Spencer was back.

On one of the days Y/N brought her girls to work, she’d found out that Diana had been missing. Her caretaker was accompanying her to visit Spencer in prison and then neither of them had been seen afterwards. They quickly identified the caretaker as Lindsey Vaughn. If Y/N had been on the case with them ten years ago, she would have identified her, but she was just another face to her. Y/N was livid, Vaughn had been around her children, she’d been inside her home. If Spencer didn’t get to catch the bitch, they better believe Y/N will.

Spencer was released quickly after the BAU proved his innocence. He was on his way to the office now. Y/N had been peering into Adaline’s carriage when she’d heard the high pitched voice of Emelia.

“Daddy!” Emelia exclaimed, racing across the bullpen to jump into her father’s arms.

“Hi baby. Daddy missed you so much.” Spencer said, hiding his tears in his daughter's hair. He held her tightly to his chest as he crossed the bullpen and made it to Y/N’s office. He put Emelia down gently and scooped his wife into his arms.

“You’re back.” She said softly through tears. 

He hooked his chin over her shoulder and sniffled strongly. He might not be the same man he was before, but he still loved her unconditionally. He still loved all three of them unconditionally.

“I’m here.” He repeated the phrase out loud like a mantra.

And he was here, but he also wasn’t. His wife could tell that the man who stood before her had endured hell, but when he cradled their baby girl so tightly to his chest, it was hard to imagine him as anything other than a loving, gentle father, and a compassionate partner. She knew she’d hold onto that thought forever. Once they retrieved Diana, they knew they could face anything.

As long as they were together.

And they knew they would be, for as long as the universe would allow in this life, and then the one after that.

~THE END~

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[writella]

Around and Around and Around

Pairing: Luke Patterson x reader

Requested? Yes! My first finished request! Thank you for the idea anon. Original ask: Could you do a present day... Alive!Luke x reader fic where him and his girlfriend (the reader) are just trying to spend some alone time together at one of Carrie’s parties? (I’m so sorry I didn’t make it Carrie’s party anon, I forgot.)

Summary: It’s a New Years Eve bash! The gangs all there, but the only thing Luke wants to do is spend time with his girlfriend. Unfortunately though, his friends constantly need their help which causes them to lose each other in the crowd. Around and around and around they constantly go... Can Luke meet up with her in time for a New Years Kiss? We shall see, my friends. We shall see.

Word Count: :)

Warnings: Kissing? Two curse words? I don’t think any of that counts. Oh! Over explaining? Neediness? An over use of the same words?

A/N: Hello everyone! IT IS A CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEARS MIRACLE! I finally finished a new fic. I really hope you enjoy it. I think I did a little too much, but this request just got my head turning and included the whole gang, so I just couldn’t help but give them all their own little moments! I had fun and I hope you do too. I’m taking you on a bit of a rollercoaster here, I will admit, but don’t worry though, I think I gave it a good ending.... You tell me.

“Y/N!”

“Y/N?”

“Luke?”

“Where are you?”

“Luuuke!”

“Luke!

“LUKE, COME LOOK!”

“Y/N, I need you.”

“Her shoe broke!”

“Luke, did you see his dog? It’s so cute! And he even likes pizza!”

“I don’t think you’re supposed to give pizza to a dog, Reg.”

“Well it wasn’t chocolate… Wait where’d he go? Wanna help me find him?”

“Well can she wear yours? Do you have an extra pair?”

“Where are they?”

Hey, Luke?!” 

“Y/N?!”

Boom the bedroom door slammed shut, and an out of breath Luke and his girlfriend, Y/N, filed in with a sigh: “Finally,” Luke said, his eyebrows and the corner of his lips rising with excitement. Throughout the hour and forty minus they had spent at the party thus far, they had found corners, almost empty areas, and even tall trees in the backyard, but none were as private as this. 

Still standing close to the door, Y/N looked around the walls that glittered with posters of rock bands and athletes. “Do you really think we should be in here? It is the birthday person’s room. Maybe we should be nice and leave it alone.” 

“When you throw a party you get what you get,” Luke reasoned, a hint of humor tracing throughout his words. “People travel, and we’re not going to do anything crazy on the kid’s blue basketball sheets if that’s what you’re worried about.” He ended, teasing Nick, the party host. 

She softly gave him an ‘alright,’ waiting for him to make his next move. Though they had been thrown around by their friends plenty of times by now tonight, the night was still young, and she knew Luke was adamant on spending time with her. Even more so, it was her first party after living in Los Angeles for almost a year now. (She was a Molina from Julie’s father’s side.) Back home she didn’t have the friend group that she had now, nor did she have someone like Luke specifically in her life as a significant other. After all this time in high school not experiencing these regular social events, a party— especially at this large of a house— seemed daunting, but as always Luke made it seem, as he always does, like it was the most spectacular adventure you couldn’t miss. Apprehension and excitement filled her spirit for what was to come of tonight. 

Following his gaze as she watched him survey the room, Luke’s eyes fell most notably on Nick’s guitars. “God, I wish I had this many.” 

“He definitely has the collection,” Y/N agreed,  still wondering what they were going to do, “but you’ve got like four, right?”

“Half of those were Bobby’s, and the acoustic is the one my parents got me… way back when, so really I only scrounged up enough money once in my life for one electric of my own.”

“So two. Still more than most.” She gave him a sympathetic smile, messing up his hair a little bit while doing so. He rubbed his head into her palm, enjoying the feeling.

There was a wonder in his eyes as he looked at the guitar rack that Y/N found quite charming. “Can’t believe he could spend all his time with these babies and he decides to balance it with sports.”

“I guess we all have our hobbies… but honestly I can’t believe we’re using this moment to ourselves to stare at guitars.” She laughs, “I’m just saying! This is what you wanted!” She corrects herself, “They are beautiful guitars though.”

“Yeah, you’re right. One of them could barge in any minute now,” Luke says, moving closer to Y/N till her back leans against the door. His fingers trace her jaw, then the side of her neck, ending as he swirled one finger around the tips of her hair. “And I could be looking at a much prettier sight.”

“Stop,” she blushed. Y/N was fine with tending to all her friends needs. She enjoyed being the first one Julie, Flynn, and now even Alex or Reggie went to for advice or help. Besides running the jatp social media account and co-running their YouTube page, making her friends feel better was what made her feel needed, but she had to admit, she liked this too. 

As they traveled backwards to the door, Luke pecked her lips a few times, then the corners of her mouth, then doing both again making her giggle and move her head to either side his lips fell. Finally, he moved centimeters back, looking in her eyes, ghosting her lips, “Stop doin’ what? Tellin’ the truth?” 

The rosy color on her face became more prominent. Her eyes traced between his own emeralds and his smile— his face made her mind fill with wonder. It was so bright, so positive, so warm, so close to her own. She could stay there with him, looking at her so endearingly, forever.

“Y/N?!” 

“Ow!” she screeched as Flynn pushed the door open on her leaning stance, bopping her head on the wood. 

“Oh my god, sorry!” Flynn gritting her teeth with worry, a fist coming to cover her mouth. “So yeah, ha ha,” the girl tried to build some relief, “Well there you two are!”

Luke grabbed the side of Y/N’s head, placing his hand over her own that covered where the impact landed, “You okay?” 

“Yeah…” She sighed, she was more concerned about whatever Flynn had to say. 

“I’ve been looking for you everywhere. I need you, like for real this time.” Flynn said, her voice filled with urgency. 

“Haven’t you needed her and looked for her ‘like’ everywhere three times tonight already?” Luke argued, a little disgruntled that their first truly private moment got interrupted in the matter of minutes.

“Was I talking to you, Patterson?” Flynn retorted, head tilted with a closed smirk on her face. “No, the answer is no.”

“You didn’t have to say the answer, okay? Got the gist.” His movements became dorkier by the second, his fingers coming to his face. “It was rhetorical- I knew that!” 

“Wow, learned that big boy word from your girlfriend?”

“Big boy?! I- That’s not even-“ before Luke went on, Y/N cut in: “Alright,” she lifted her hand, “What happened, Flynn? What do you need?”

“It’s Julie-“

“Don’t tell me she broke another shoe. I don’t have an extra-extra pair.”

“No.” Flynn’s eyes widened, “I actually- I don’t know what it is. She just told me to get you and come to her together.” The girl sighed, “She looked sad.” 

“Oh,” Y/N said, a frown coming to her face. A sad Julie is a Julie that should never be in this world. Other than thinking about the absence of her mother, Y/N’s cousin knew how to smile even when things got tough, so if she was feeling down now, and it was evident, it must’ve been important. 

“Yeah. So come? Like now?” Flynn grabbed Y/N’s hand and Y/N looked at her own opposite hand that was currently attached to Luke’s, trailing her eyes up to his face. 

“Well, I’ll just go too.” He insisted, “I want to help Julie, and,” He spoke directly to Y/N, “I don’t mind.”

“She didn’t ask for you.” Flynn snapped back. 

“It’ll be fine.” Y/N decided, “It’s not like we all don’t know her well anyway, right?”

“Yeah, let's go. And then we can just get back, hopefully. I want to spend tonight with you.” Luke said that last part more softly, but apparently not quietly enough. 

“Oh god!” Flynn vexed. “Haven’t you spent all week stuck to her mouth?”  Through snickers she said, “Let her come up for some air, bruv.” Then, letting go of Y/N's hand as she turns, leading the couple to the staircase, she continued: “And really you should be relaxing all those throat muscles or whatever. I've got you in two open mic night cafes next week and that kids party at the restaurant tomorrow, AND on Sunday Julie said she wanted to record that new song for the YouTube channel.” She slapped the side of her hand to the inside of the other, creating a chopping effect, “We got things to do! I’m trying to make sure you guys stay safe and have fun, but we shouldn’t be here all night.”

Luke rolled his eyes, as much as he loved playing, he hated being bossed around like this. “It's New Year’s Eve!” He complained, yet there was still a hint of playfulness in his voice. “Mind you, this is being said by the girl who agreed to DJ at this party.”

“I didn’t agree! I got reeled into it— Difference, see! This kid comes out of nowhere to bring me onto his home stage— man, he’s rich—- and asks me if I could change the tracks, put something fun on. How am I supposed to say no? It is his birthday and everything that was on before was terrible!”

“That we can agree on,” Luke noted with a laugh.

Y/N added on, after her long silence of listening to the two go back and forth, “You finally got everyone dancing.”

“I did! Thank you!” Flynn appreciated the acknowledgment, especially from Luke, but nonetheless, she persists on her earlier claim, “That being said, I really think we should leave by 10.”

“10?!” Luke repeats with annoyance. “Tomorrow’s gig starts at six. PM. And might I remind you again: it's freakin New Years Eve! We have to stay till the ball drops!”

“We have to practice one last time and we have to get there bef-“

“Alright, alright, boss.” Luke was done arguing (for the time being.) Instead his eyes followed Y/N’s who was no longer listening, bored of her best friend and boyfriend’s little fighting game, as they looked for Julie in the clusters of kids all around the room on the main floor. “Let’s just look for Jules so we can get back. And can we make it to midnight at the least? Please? I mean, come on, there no food at the Molina house to celebrate with and you were having fun up there with those turntables.” He started to smile cheekily at Flynn, “Don’t deny it.”

Flynn took in a sharp breath as she thought. Nick did have access to some sick equipment and has always been so kind enough to share, so it would be fun to play around some more. “We’ll see how I feel at 11. And by the way, we do have things to celebrate with at the garage. I bought stuff specifically so you guys wouldn’t complain when we left,” she went on, the three taking another turn, “We’re going to have some fun here till 10, or 11 I guess, get back to the garage, celebrate New Years— woo-hoo!— and then you guys are settled down by 12:15, 30 the latest. I don’t care if you’re not asleep, just not outside.” Seeing Luke’s face rise up again she defends herself,  “It's not my fault you phantoms have terrible time management skills! You guys literally have transportation powers and you’re either late or not present. It’s crazy! I need to make sure you’re there and we get paid. Period.”

Luke suppressed a grunt as Y/N rubbed his shoulders, laughing a bit at the truth of Flynn’s statement. 

Then, to console Luke, she whispered in his ear, “No matter where we are, I’ll be there. Plan still intact.” 

“True.” Luke whispered back, rubbing his nose on the side of her head. 

Luke liked his freedom. He was used to calling the shots when it came to the band, only taking on co-captain position as Julie challenged him with just as much leadership star power as he contained. This made Flynn appointing herself as band manager not something to be desired exactly, especially when she made decisions like this on their down time. He didn’t quite enjoy being told where to go and when, but on the other hand, he couldn’t help to admit to himself that the tech savvy skills both her and Y/N brought to the table were tremendously helpful. The 90s boy was used to walking around town trying to find the next cafe for the guys to play at that he didn’t know how easy it was in this digital world to find venues he never even heard of through the internet. This made him never forget to say thank you after a gig she or Y/N would find from their endless online searchings. And on Flynn’s end, she never forgot to commend Luke on his writing skills when he happened to be the scribe for one of the band’s songs she happened to enjoy, but other than that, they did not have that much to say to each other. 

Despite the natural banter and quips  that would suggest they were well acquainted, they were actually still quite awkward. Luke was used to admiring her relationship with Julie and Y/N from afar, and for Flynn, after the boys came back to life she didn’t know exactly how to fit herself into the group. Of course she was a part of it, Y/N made certain of it as she herself had also felt strange about her placement in Julie’s new friend group before Julie formally introduced her to them, not knowing that her cousin could also see ghost like she could, but overall, Flynn felt just the tiniest bit embarrassed that the boys she once called ‘cute ghosts’-- more than twice-- heard her say that and all the other things she’d say not knowing they were around (Julie told her they could sometimes snoop in unbeknownst to even her at times. ‘They don’t know boundaries,’ she would say.) Flynn especially felt this way when one of those ex-ghosts was Luke who knew he was ‘cute,’  as she once said, and would bother her about it endlessly when he was first able to communicate with her. 

Were they friends? Or was it simply that Luke was just a friend of her friends and that Flynn was just the friend of his girlfriend and mutual friend. Neither of them knew where their relationship stood. This caused Flynn to use her wit as a defense mechanism or to only begin a conversation with the guy when it was about something band related. ‘You kind of act like siblings,’ Y/N would tell them when they were at it. Both of them gawked at the word. ‘Siblings?!’

Around another corner the three went, passing the open space below the home stage that was being used as a dance floor. They went to the room adjacent to it. It was another rather large area, though this one was filled with more furniture, a lot in fact, perhaps to make space for the makeshift dance area. There was also an unused fireplace which caught the eyes of Y/N who yanked on the connected hand of Luke’s and then Flynn to take notice of who sat on the ledge. 

The water bunching up in her eyes sparked white from the room's fluorescent gleaming lights, making her tears look much bigger and shinier. It made the group feel bad they didn’t find her sooner. 

“Julie!” They all exclaimed in unison though Luke’s reaction was filled with the most apparent fret: the glow of the lights and his wide eye expression showed clearly how his eyes were growing greener with questions and worry. “What happened?” He tried to ask softly, not knowing how to react to her tears. The attempt at softness then immediately changed into one of starting frustration as he sat down next to his poor bandmate, hand on her knee, looking toward Flynn, “Why didn’t you tell us she was like this?” 

“Because she wasn’t like this when I left!” Flynn countered, coming to sit down next to Julie on her left side as Luke had taken the right. 

“Why do you always-“

“Enough guys,” Y/N silenced them for the third time that night. She noticed how Julie was shying away from both of their faces, not wanting to show them her tears. Julie was strong; a fighter; she sometimes much rather fake out her friends by smiling through her problems before she was ready to talk about them. Y/N knew all of this, related to it in fact, and could sense the possible embarrassment she must’ve been feeling. Not only did she create a movie moment for herself by being the girl crying at a party, but she was crying in front of her friends, when she was typically the person who tried to inspire hope, for she was the front man of her own band after all. 

Y/N could also sense— guessing by the way she mostly was turning her face from Luke— that it was a boy problem. Not that Luke’s jittery expression, or close proximity to her face was helping her open up either. 

Luke was trying to work on being more helpful in moments where his friends were in tears, but sometimes he could be a little too aggressive, or ‘extra,’ as Flynn would put it and Alex would agree, adding the new slang term to his vocabulary. 

Y/N took a seat in front of her on the ground, rubbing her friend's arm. “It’s okay, Jules. Nobody cares what you look like. You can tell us.” 

“I know, it’s just-“ she sucked her teeth, looking up, head still tilted to Flynn’s side. “It’s stupid.”

 “No ones going to judge you,” Y/N promised, pointing her head to Luke’s direction for Julie to see. 

“Yeah, and I bet it’s not ‘stupid’ anyway.” Flynn added.

“Nothings stupid if it made you cry, Jules.” Luke chimed in, finally agreeing with Flynn on something for the second time this night. “Who was it? I’ll beat them up for you.” He joked.

“Oh my god, no!” Julie tittered just a little while trying to wipe away all her tears. “And please never say something like that again. You sound like a dad.”

“Well he is supposed to be like 40 or something,” Flynn said, making the both of her best friends laugh. Julie specifically shook her head at this moment of Flynn and Luke’s typical banter, it was the first time she was getting a whiff of it tonight. Although she appreciated the entertainment they brought when in a room together, she agreed with Y/N that they were relentless. 

Luke let that one go, seeing how it finally brought a smile to the girl’s face, “There she is.”

Julie rolled her eyes at him, sighing as her fit of giggles passed, “Okay,” she started slowly, “Well... it was Nick… and I know it’s stupid-“

“-Not stupid.” Her friends finished.

“But you know, he invited me to this party. Directly! Said he wanted to hang out- to dance. When we came, the party just started so he had to say hi to people, that made sense, and he told me to stay near the main floor, so I waited. And then my shoe broke, and then some girl spilled some of that fondue on the bottom of my dress which I had to get out with bathroom wipes, so that was annoying. Then next thing you know it’s an hour later and all I’ve done is eat pizza and watch Flynn at the turntables…”

Julie went on. She explained that finally Nick showed up again , but as he was walking to her, Carrie had just arrived at the party, stopping him in his tracks. Apparently her gift was too heavy to bring inside, so she wanted to take him to her car to show him right then and there. “He said he’d be five minutes tops. Told me to come here by the fireplace, so again, I waited. Then five minutes turned into fifteen, so I got up.” She sidetracked, “That’s not me. Just sitting there, waiting, waiting, waiting. I felt dumb. That's when I walked to the backyard to see what was going on out there, find something to do after all this time, but funny enough that’s where I found Nick and Carrie, laughing, dancing, having a great time.” She wipes a new stray tear, “I decided to look for you,” she nodded to Y/N, “And it’s no offense Flynn, you know I love you, it’s just that I didn’t want to hear you tell me that ‘he’s not worth it’ at the moment.” She gave herself a pity laugh, “I’m currently feeling a little bad for myself as you can see.” 

“I’m so sorry Julie.” Y/N started. “But Flynn only tells you the facts like that because she thinks you’re so worthy of more.” 

“So much more,” Flynn added on, moving closer to Julie.

 “But I get it, it's not fair.” consoled Y/N. “I try to always consider his actions in those instances with Carrie as him just being a pacifist, but if he said he wanted to be with you and continuously told you he would, then he should’ve been here.”

“Agreed, but also, being a pacifist doesn’t mean to always stay quiet though, you can find a way to keep the peace and still do what’s right.” Luke spoke up. “He shouldn’t let Carrie always take him away like that.”

Y/N gave Luke a smile, “Insightful.”

“Strangely,” Flynn chimed in, “but exactly right. Not to mention how it’s not fair— no matter how nice he is— for him to just let Carrie keep saying whatever the hell she wants without calling her out.” 

“I just feel like I shouldn’t be so beat up. It is his birthday after all. He can do what he wants.” Muttered Julie.

“No!” Y/N told her. “You feel like you wasted your time, I get that! It’s his birthday, but your feelings are still important.” 

“Also,” Luke started, “Julie, I mean, come on! You could do so much better. So what? He’s like 18 now? Well I’m 18 now too, supposed to be 40 something apparently and I look like this! This! Compared to Nick?  Julie… girl!” He stated her name again, smiled wide, “I know Molina’s have better taste than that. Not to say what you didn’t want to hear, but, it’s true: he’s not worth it. Period.” He mimicked Flynn with the last word. 

Both Flynn and Julie gagged, “Oh my god,” they said in union. Y/N just put her face in her hands.

“You were actually doing well, and then you just go and screw it up like that?” Flynn sighed. 

“Now you went from a dad to sounding like a whole ratty teenage boy.” She rolled her eyes teasingly, trying to conceal her laughter at his conceited remark, “Disgusting.”

“Well as long as I got you to stop crying, that’s all that matters anyway.” He laughed goofily, invading her personal space once again. 

“Yeah,” Julie realized with a contented sigh. It seemed all the company she really needed was her friends. 

“Well, I think the only thing to do now is make up for all that time wasted, huh?”  Y/N spoke with a smirk. “If he doesn’t want to be your dance partner, it looks like you’re going to have to take on three instead.” 

“Fuck yeah,” Luke said, jumping up, grabbing Y/N and Julie’s hands and running to the dance floor.

Flynn called to the group, as she parted from them, heading to the stage, “Lemme change the song!” 

“OOOH!” Luke roared as the ooos and aahs of Donna and the Dynamos filled the room. “One of the best things to come out of the 2000s!” 

Julie and Y/N laughed at the surprisingly grand amount of love Luke had for Mamma Mia! 

Luke imitated the hustle, sticking his tongue out,  shaking his hips, and making Y/N dance along with him, moving around Julie who looked at them incredulously. 

“Come oooon,” he said to Julie’s direction, “Nobody can NOT like this song.” And after that Julie gave in, agreeing that a Mamma Mia and ABBA song was too good not to dance to. Flynn came up right behind her, making the dancing trio into a group of four. 

From jumping, to slides and shoulder grooves, and even forming their own little dancing circle the four lived in the song, seeing the last of Julie’s worry wash away as the speakers blasted the words “Dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen,” to which Julie’s friends made sure to spotlight her on as their hands sprinkled up and down spirit fingers as she twirled, enjoying her title that fit perfectly with her age. 

“Thanks guys,” Julie smiled sweetly, still jumping to the beat.

“WOOOO!” Luke hollered into the crowd, taking Y/N’s hand, swaying and jumping with her exclusively now. 

“WOO!” She yelled back.

“LOUDER, LOUDER!” He yelled in her face, shaking his head, his hair imitating a lion’s mane as he gritted his teeth, getting closer to her face. 

“WOOOOO!” She yelled, trying to match her boyfriend’s energy. 

“YES, Y/N. WOOO!” They kept jumping and he spun her around, letting her twirl into his grasp. He held her closer, one arm tightly around her waist while the other still held her hand, stepping and swaying side to side in a fast pace in order to keep up with the quick musical tune. Her laughs of surprisement to his actions filled him with pride. She was usually so focused on making her friends smile, she could sometimes forget to just have fun for herself. She dropped anything to tend to their needs, which is why tonight was important. At her first party he was going to make her smile and have fun, and that ended with a New Year’s kiss. Hopefully, he could find a way to hide from Flynn— and his friends for that matter— till that time to make it happen. 

Finally the song died down and a rush of endorphins filled the floor as almost everyone in the area, even those who typically didn’t dance joined along to the jumping motion the four started at the beginning of the song. “Should I change it?” Flynn asked Julie as the next song started, noticing how different the vibe of this song was from the last: slower, more romantic.

“No,” Julie told Flynn as she watched Luke take his arms closer into Y/N’s sides, “Let’s let them have their moment.”

Y/N arms went around Luke’s neck, and his arms wrapped around her waist, pulling each other closer while swaying in a circular motion. He connected their foreheads. His eyes fixated on her own. They were so gentle, so sweet, so comforting, he felt safe looking in them. He could stay that way forever.

“Luke?”

Luke sighed, once again just minutes of feeling release ruined. “Yeah, bud?” It was Alex. 

“I’m sorry to bother you, but this kid Reginald-“ 

“Don’t tell me he lost the dog again. I don’t want to look for it.”

“It’s not the dog! Well, not this time. I think he’s finally realized that we can’t take it home with us. It’s-“ Alex started snickering which then turned into great belly laughs he couldn’t stop, “I just- I can’t- I can’t- just please,” he had no control. “Please I need your help!”

“What the hell, Alex?”

“Just-“ Alex put his hand over his mouth, trying to conceal his laughs. He motioned Luke with his other hand, walking away. 

Luke kept his hand in Y/N’s, bringing her along with him, “I don’t want to get split up again, like last time with the dog.”

“It’s not the dog!” Alex exclaimed, still laughing. 

The three were now on the right side of the house, near the pool door that also stood to the right and in the area sat a couch and pool table. The wall on the left side had a small vent near the floor which is where they found Reggie, hip deep in the square hole.

“HELLO!” Reggie wagged his butt, for his friends to see, “Did you bring Luke?”

“Yeah!” Alex answered “Do you see now? He’s stuck!”

“How and why?!” Y/N asked, now joining in with Alex’s uncontrollable laughter as Reggie kept shaking his butt. Quickly Luke couldn’t help himself either.

“No! Y/N is here?” Reggie asked, “Y/N I’m so sorry you have to see me like this. I haven’t been doing my squats recently. I know I don’t look in the best of shape-“

“I think that’s the last thing I’m worried about, Reg,” Y/N said, still losing her breath along with Alex who yelled an incredulous ‘what?!’ at his words. 

“No one cares about your glutes, bro.” Luke shook his head, laughing with the two. 

“Well I do!” Reggie fought back. “I don’t wear these skinny jeans for nothing!”

Alex’s laughter from Reggie’s wackiness turned into one of apprehension. “Well there are more important things to worry about! Like my date being almost two hours late and also how I don’t even know what to say to him because I haven’t seen him in like two months and it's New Year’s Eve and yeah, okay, okay- Stop shaking your ass!”

“Okay,” Y/N held his shoulders, still losing her breath, “Willie is going to come, alright?  It'll be fine, but-“

“Let’s deal with gluteus minimus first.” Luke finished.

“That’s not even-“

“I don’t care.” Luke finished for Alex this time. “I’ll take the right leg, Alex, take the left. Pull!”

Ow! Ow! Ow!” Reggie yelped.

“PULL!”

“Ow! Stop!” 

“It’s going to hurt till we get you out, Reg” Alex explained. “And why isn’t Y/N helping?”

“Oh, sorry,” She was caught up in the hysterics. 

“Oh that’s right,” Luke noticed. “Take the right, I’ll hold onto his feet and pull from the back. On three. 1, 2, 3, PULL!”

“WAIT!” Reggie yelled.

“WHAT?” Alex yelled back.

“Luke said on three, but you pulled at ‘pull’, or really after pull, so is it really ‘on three’ or do you want it to be ‘on pull’ or ‘after three’ or ‘after pull’?”

Alex shook his head, “Does it matter?!”

Reggie’s voice cracked, “Just asking!”

“Okay, ON pull!” Luke clarified, “1,2,3, PULL”

“NO! WAIT!”

“WHAT?!” The three pullers yelled. 

“I felt a tear in my jacket, I love this jacket.”

“Oh god,” the boys complained.

“I think it’s just going to have to tear for us to get you out,” Y/N told him. 

“But you gave it to me!” Y/N heard the sadness in his voice. It was a brown leather jacket with long strands of fringe on either side. She thought it went perfectly with his banjo and love for country music. It also had big inside pockets that could hold all his little treasures, and whatever he had in his pocket today is probably the reason why it was so hard to get him out. 

“Maybe Victoria knows a good dry cleaner that can give us a discount,” she reasoned. 

“Tía does always have very nicely pressed clothes,” Reggie agreed, as an honorary Molina— self appointed, but appreciated by most— he felt that it was okay to address Victoria as such. 

“Yeah,” She laughed at his words, “So are you going to tell me how you got stuck?”

“Well I knew there was going to be a pool table here so I brought my lucky gold eight ball-” Reggie had a lucky every- “And it kind of just fell in here.”

Alex corrected him, “You mean you were getting too cocky at the game and knocked the ball so hard that it fell in there.”

“Potatoes, tomatoes, uh, spaghetti! It doesn't matter now, I got my ball and now I need you guys to help me get out.”

“Sounds like a plan to me,” Luke nodded, “You ready Reg?”

“...No!”

“You want to make out with the rats? They have diseases.” Alex sarcastically noted.

“They’re misunderstood creatures!” Reggie stated on their behalf. Reggie’s butt buzzed, “Oh that's my phone, that feels weird, “ he laughed. 

“Phone!’ Alex's eyes widened, “Where’s my phone?” He dropped Reggie’s leg

“Alex!” Luke exclaimed want to get this over with.

“Willie texted, he said he’ll be here in thirty- thirty minutes!” 

“Anything else,” Y/N asked.

“He’s excited to spend the New Years with me” He said softly, unsurely.

“That's great.” Everyone agreed, happy for the boy. 

“Are you going to text back?” Y’N asked excitedly, happy with the idea of Alex’s romance coming to life. 

“Oh yeah!” Alex’s face faltered, “Shit. It just died.”

“Just get Reggie’s,” Luke shrugged, “But after we get him out!”

After 3 more tries at “ON PULLS,” Alex, Luke, and Y/N were able to get Reggie out, only tearing his jacket on the left side.

“Thanks guys” Reggie said appreciatively. 

As Luke patted Reggie back Alex spoke: “Um, hey, Y/N?” He asked quietly, hands in his pocket, “Mind if I steal you for a second?”

“Sure,” she smiled sweetly at him, turning the corner so they could have a little bit of privacy. 

“I’m nervous.” He sighed, “ I already spoke to Luke about it before we left for tonight, so he’s already given me all the inspiration he’s got, but I’m still not sure of it all… He took the whole coming back to life hard, but I didn’t think he would take it so hard that he would separate himself from us, from me. ” The boy frowned. 

“I think he really liked being a ghost,” Y/N started.

“Yeah and we ruined his whole life,”

“We didn’t ruin his life, we saved it. He’s free, just like you guys. And…” Y/N trailed off trying to find the words, “Hm, well, I think he was just a ghost so long it became a part of his identity, and now that part left him, it must’ve been hard to take in. Should he have been more verbal about needing space? Yes. You deserved that. If you want to tell him that, you should, especially if it’ll help relieve whatever thoughts you’ve got suck up there. I’m sure he will be apologetic if you ask calmly, try to see it from his perspective. And that way he can be empathetic to your perspective as well, you know? On the other hand, you can also take this New Year in stride and just like go to the past and have a good time with him. Or do both!” She put an arm on his shoulder, giving him a warm closed smile. 

He nodded taking in her words, trying to remember what she said as she said it.

“You got this, okay? What does Luke say? Step into your greatness?”

“Heh,” he laughed, “Greatness is usually for Julie, awesomeness is mine, not saying that I am awesome though, it’s- it’s just what he says.”

“Well it’s because it’s true. You’re awesome, Alex. Just be open hearted and your awesomeness will shine through.”

“But.. how?”

“Didn’t I- Never mind. Okay, from what I know, Willie already knows you, and likes you, and enjoys talking to you, so there are no awkward first encounters to be made. You’ll see him and all you need to do is be prepared to say hi, that is unless you want to talk to him about the past, and then it will go off from there. I feel it ending up well, I promise. And even if it doesn’t? Show him the food. Everyone loves food.”

“Hi- maybe past- food- got it.” He turned, but Y/N quickly grabbed him. 

“Wait, but don’t just think about that. Remember: He’s coming because he wants to see YOU. He wants to spend New Years with YOU. That’s what his message said right?”

“Right.” It seemed Alex forgot. 

“So believe it. Live in that message.” 

“Okay,” he started to smile lightly, though still a little wearily. “Thanks… He wants to see me, he WANTS to see me, live in it.” He repeated her words. 

Alex gave her Reggie’s phone, asking her to message Willie one last time stating that he would be waiting for him by the front of the house by the band’s van. She did so and turned the corner hoping to find both Reggie and Luke, but unfortunately the latter person was not in sight. 

“Reg, where’s Luke?”

“Y/N! Meet Amelie Laurent,” Reggie introduced the girl sitting next to him, imitating a French accent as he said her name. “She’s a foreign exchange student from France. She likes my jacket.” He said with a smirk. 

Y/N guessed he didn’t hear her question.

“Nice to meet you,” the girl said giggling at Reggie’s antics. “Comment tu t’appelles?” She asked.

“Uh, yes.” Y/N stared blankly, watching the girls face fall, “I’m just kidding, it’s Y/N. I know that much at least.” Both you and the girl laughed. 

“Aw look, my girls getting along!” 

“Your girl?” Amelie questioned.

“Well maybe not yet,” Reggie winked while wiggling a brow. 

“You should get Luke and come hang out with me and Miss Amelie Laurent.” Reggie once again pronounced her name with the most fake sounding French accent he could muster, having fun with how the name rolled off his tongue. 

“Speaking of that,” Y/N handed him his phone, “Do you know where he went?”

“Well he didn’t go through the pool door because that’s where my Amelie Laurent came from, so I’m guessing back there,” Reggie pointed his thumb behind him.

“Alright, then I guess I’m going that way. Nice to meet you Miss Amelie.” She giggled, attempting her own French accent.

-

About 10 minutes had passed. Y/N had walked around to the backyard, upstairs to some rooms, to the dance floor, the kitchen, stopping along the way when Julie and Flynn caught her in their sight till she found herself back by the pool table. Reggie’s banjo and doggy friend was present but not he nor his lady friend, or Luke. Y/N wondered if she should finally try the pool door till she heard a sound, a voice actually. As she walked down the hallway she was just minutes before, she heard his voice. 

It was Luke, his tones muffled by the music and talking inside, but she could hear it, it filled her senses, making her heart flutter to hear his singing as it belted a tune much more soulful then the usual pop or rock songs the band sang. He was outside, in the backyard, one of the first places she looked. As she almost reached the back door, she was pushed rather harshly, by someone with wheels, skateboard wheels. 

“Whoa! Sorry!” It was Willie. “You’re Y/N right?” He smiled, running his fingers through his hair as he took off his helmet. “I know we’ve never really spoken, but we know of each other.”

“We do,”  Y/N said pleasantly. 

���I’m glad I finally found one of you, I’m totally lost.”

“Well I think Luke was just outside there, actually.”

“Oh really? God I was going so fast I wasn’t even thinking. Or looking would be correct, right? Anyway, I’m sorry I didn’t see you there, sometimes I still think I’ll just go through people. Can’t believe I have to walk indoors now.” He rubbed the back of his neck. 

“Life of the living,” she tried to joke, “I’m sorry. I know it must be strange.”

“Yeah, better than being under Caleb though.”

“Right,” Y/N nodded. 

“Oh, sorry,” 

“No don’t be. I’ll never know him like you did. No emotional tie here.”

“Um,” An awkward silence erupted, “So since you’re the only one in the group I’ve found you want to play a game?” 

“A game?” She asked, confused.

“Yeah!” He raised his brow.

“And what game would this be?” 

“The Where’s Alex game. If you have the answer I’ll love you forever. I already know I’m super late.”

“Oh!” she laughed at the realization, “He’s at the front! You didn’t see him? Or see the text?”

“My phone died,” He pulled out the device as proof, the glass was severely cracked, “I’m not sure how to properly take care of it as you can see. No wonder I make it die so fast.”

“His phone died too, strangely enough. But he’s waiting for you at the front entrance. You didn’t come from that way?”

“No, I didn’t know if someone would stop me if I went that way because I wasn’t actually invited. I never really did this kind of thing in the past. It’s my first time.” 

“Really? It’s my first too, but for you? You seem so cool to me to never be invited.”

“Well the actual definition of cool and high schoolers definition of cool is wildly different. We’re obviously a different breed, you and I. Better.” He joked. 

“Well thank you.” She could tell why Willie liked him. “Alex is by the white van, it has ghosts painted all over it so you can’t miss it.”

“Thank you!”

“Of course!”

As he was about to walk away, skateboard in hand, he stopped, “Can I be honest?”

“Sure.” She smiled nodding at him to continue.

“I’m a little nervous. I know that’s his thing so I should try to get over it, but I can’t help it. This not being a ghost thing has been hard, you know? Is he mad? I didn’t mean to separate myself…” he faultured. Although Y/N knew Alex’s half of the story, Willie and her were still newly acquainted, it made sense why he felt the need to stop himself from possibly over sharing. 

“He can’t wait to see you.” She reassured him, ending the silence. “It’s literally why he decided to stay by the front. He wanted you to find him right away. You’ve got nothing to worry about.”

“You sure?”

She confirmed, “Absolutely positive.”

“Alright, thanks again. And nice to meet you! You know, not just by me peering through windows and being creepy. Sorry.”

“Ghosts will be ghosts.” Y/N shrugged. She watched as Willie gave her a laugh and started to walk away. 

“Y/N,” the sweet voice from the backyard called for her again, this time saying her name.

“Luke,” her eyes brightened, turning around.

“Found you.” He grinned, intertwining their fingers on both sides. 

“Well really I would have found you first. I heard your voice, from the backyard, but Willie stopped me before I could go.”

“Ah, you heard my call for you.”

“For me?” He hummed in response.

“I’ll pretend that’s true.” 

“Good,” Luke brought one of her hands up to his lips, kissing it softly. “So where have you been in the last twenty?”

“Well I was looking for you. Reggie said you didn’t go through the pool door so-“

“I did.”

You did?”

“I did! He probably didn’t mention it because he was so focused on-

“Miss Amelie Laurent!” You both said in unison, French accents prevalent. 

“He said you went back here so I went to the backyard, but you weren’t there, so I went upstairs back to Nick room, and you don’t want to know what I saw in there-”

“Ooo tell me,”  his eyes were eager.

“Anyway, I went back down stairs, found Julie near the kitchen— we shared a cupcake— and then she asked me if I would go to the dance floor with her and find someone to talk to so I did that, but then Flynn can said she lost her bracelet so we three had to look for that one, then I came back to the pool table, heard you singing, bumped into Willie, asked me where Alex was, and then I think he needed some advice— he and Alex are literally having the same problem, it’s kind of cute— and then you finally came. That’s my story.”

Luke's mouth was open, eyes going around in a circle as she went on her tangent, hanging onto every word, he thought it was pretty adorable. “Well, my story is much shorter. When I picked Reggi up, you disappeared.”

“Oh, Alex asked me to speak to him, all we did was turn the corner.”

“I didn’t know, but then some guy from the pool came up to me asked me if I could show him some cords from a phantom song and before I could say yes he was pushing me out the door. I helped him, went back inside, met Miss Amelie Laurent, walked to the backyard because Reggie said you went that way, and there I stayed.”

“If only I went back.”

“We’re good now.” Though a smile still ghosted his face he felt a sudden suppression wash over him, “Are you having fun, Y/N/N?”

“I- Yes, of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I don’t know… I just know it’s your first party here and I wanted you to have a good time, but at every second someone needs you, or someone needs me, and we’ve been pulled around and around and around,-“ Luke moves his head left to right, a rasp in his voice like a motor engine as he repeated the word for effect, “-that I feel like you’re not letting yourself get into some trouble like everyone else.”

“Trouble?”

“Lack of a better word,” he smiled smugly. “I’m just saying, you’re not Julie and the Phantoms glorified assistant-”

“Neither are you. You’ve done just as much as me tonight.” She reasoned. 

“Yeah, but that’s because I was trying to stick with you and lessen the load. You know you do so much for us all the time.”

“I guess I just like you guys too much.” she shrugged, matching his playful tone from before.

“Like just me a little bit more then.” He moved closer, placing his fingers on her jaw, “Hmm?”

He finally kissed her, a real kiss this time. His other hand moved to her neck as her hands moved to his arms. The hand on her jaw lifted her chin higher, deepening the action.

“People are watching,” she said through a breath, eyes alert. 

Before going back in he said, “No one's watching,” Then after a peck, “And no one cares.” His hands slid to her waist, head tilting to the other side, he hummed, causing Y/N’s hands to fall to his cheeks, quickly sliding her fingers against his chest; she was lost in the moment. 

Slowly Luke’s feet moved backwards, moving one of the hands that was wrapped around his waist to her hip as he motioned her against the wall. “Ow,” Y/N yelped, the black and blue Flynn gave her earlier pulsing again. 

Luke’s hand came to her head, cushioning it against the wall. “Sorry, I forgot.”

“So did I,” she laughed. 

The both smiled at each other, Luke forehead connecting with hers, he rubbed his nose against her own etching more bits of laughter out of her. He relished in the noises, the closeness, the feeling. 

Looking down he noticed their shoes, Y/N’s original chucks in the middle of both vans. He didn’t care what shoes she wore, but he much appreciated how she had to change her footwear for Julie because now they matched… somewhat. The black and white pallets, but different designs; similar, but different; individuals, but connected. He liked it. “Nice shoes, kid.”

“Thanks,” she laughed, “Not what I originally intended, but they work.”

“Work better, in my opinion.” He moved back, extending her arms out as he held her hands. He was surveying how her black dress with white polka dots perfectly matched the color scheme of the converse. “Perfect.”

Once again she blushed, but didn’t respond. Instead she made a remark about his own shoes. “You know, I don’t understand how you wear those everyday, yet they aren’t all dirty like mine.”

“Well I used to be a ghost, when I was walking my feet weren’t actually treading on the Earth.” 

“Well that was three months ago.”

“Almost three months ago,” he corrected, for that’s when their official relationship started. Luke always thought she was pretty, right from the moment he saw her, but it wasn’t love at first sight, not even like. She was a little quiet, at least with him and the boys and they all noticed. With Julie and Flynn she smiled brightly and chatted constantly, or that’s what he would hear when he would come to Julie’s room, hearing her voice through the door. It was a sweet voice, empathetic, understanding; he thought it sounded like music, and not only did he wonder how his name would sound on her lips, but he felt connected to it. He understood the desire to make others feel good. Through his singing he tried to make people feel seen, make their problems validated, and he could tell she tried to do that with her words. 

For Y/N at first, she wanted Julie to have the band for herself. She thought that this was one of the few things making her feel happy during this dark time of Tía Rose’s passing, so she didn’t want to step in too much, not to mention the realization that she could see ghosts wasn’t exactly the easiest things for her to get her head around the way Julie did. But her elusiveness only made Luke more curious, and when Luke was curious, he was persistent in finding out whatever it was he wanted to know. 

First, he would ask Julie to bring Y/N down for their rehearsals and she would, sometimes, but nothing gave. Y/N would most give Julie feedback, shying away from the ghosts gaze, still unsure how to interact. Then, he just started asking Julie about her cousin, little questions here and there till Julie finally got tired and told him to just go talk to her himself. This is where he was at a stand still as he was unsure how to approach her. Finally, after noticing how her room lights would shine quite far into the night, he decided to go up there, telling himself he would just ask her why she sleeps so late, that he only noticed because he likes to take walks at night. It sounded reasonable to him. 

This is when he realized how similar Molina’s are: Always trying to be brave for others. After she told him she always had trouble falling asleep unless it was specifically her bed at home, but didn’t want to tell anyone else because it would bother them. She wanted to stay here for Julie and for the friendships she was finally making at Los Feliz, so Luke decided to start a tradition with her: late night bike rides. It was a way to tire her out and a way for him to get some alone time with her. Him taking a bike from the garage, and her using her own she brought from her old home. They rode separately, but together, letting the quiet road open them up to the other. Telling each other stories, discussing interests, consoling each other when they were feeling down. Luke never knew how close you could feel to someone else by just conversation until he had to do it with Y/N. It made him appreciate her in a way he’d never felt before. 

They were not friends, they knew that fairly quickly, but they didn’t hurt each other by talking about being more. It was just an unspoken agreement that they hung out with each other exclusively in the way that they did, but they never spoke of romantics. Their rides were special, only for them. That’s why when he became alive the first thing he wanted to do, after celebrating with everyone, was take a ride with her. One bike this time. Her heels on the bars and she heads onto his shoulders, showing her where he used to grow up. That’s what he always wanted to do. 

“Not enough time,” Luke said in response to Y/N who mentioned that wearing the same two pairs of shoes for 3 months had to have made them a little messed up, but he was talking about them, thinking about how short of a time ago it was that he got got be with her this way. It was a long year of just knowing her without the sense of touch. He felt lucky. Once again, he dipped his hands on the side of her face, starting to go in till-

“Hey, Y/N! And oh, Luke! Hey man.” It was the New Years Eve birthday boy.

“Oh, hey, Nick,” Y/N said, maintaining a kind disposition although she knew how his actions made Julie feel. 

“Um,” he laughed awkwardly at Luke’s stoicism, it was unnatural for his character and even Nick knew that by now, “Well I was wondering if you knew where Julie was. I’ve been looking for her everywhere.”

“Really?” Luke questioned.

“Yeah, I promised her a dance,” he laughed, “or really she promised me one because we all know I suck.”

Y/N laughed kindheartedly at his deprecation. She was still trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. Carrie does have a dominating attitude, and with someone as tender Nick it would make sense that he got roped into whatever it was even at his own party, but looking at Luke’s face and knowing how she felt earlier, she decided to to be upfront, “Look Nick, you don’t have to say anything, but I think you like Julie, and I don’t know if Julie likes you, but let’s say she does: You’re sending mixed signals. I get you and Carrie have a history and that she can be bossy, but you make your own choices. If you want to hang out with a certain someone, I think you should put your foot down and make it a priority to do that.” She tried to be ambiguous, obviously failing throughout. 

Nick sighed, “I know… I have no excuse. But that’s why I’ve been trying to find her. I want to hang out with her, do a- I don’t know-“

“‘I don’t know?’” Luke intervened, restating his words, unsure about the possible actions behind them.

“I mean like... New Year's kiss, I- don’t laugh at me Y/N!”

“No! I think it’s sweet. I'm only laughing because I’ve understood your pain, Nick.”

Nick laughed alongside her albeit he was still mostly laughing at himself. Luke kept his grumpy face, eyebrows twitching. “Well if that’s what you want, go get it before the Carrie snatches you up again”

“But even if she does,” Luke started. 

“Put your foot down.” Y/n finished “You know, Stand Tall, like the phantoms song.”

“‘Whatever happens’  he snickered, waving his finger as he said the lyric in hopes to ease the tension with Luke, but he was not amused. 

“Exactly,” Y/N smiled, paying her boyfriend's chest. 

“Right,” Luke agreed, he was really only saying it for Y/N. “Nice basketball sheets by the way”

“Hey, come on, my dad got those for me. It’s nostalgic, you know? Anyway, so I know you guys were busy and I’m sorry that I interrupted anything, but do you think you could help me find her? I really want to find her.”

“Listen Nick,” Luke started once again, it was getting late and he still had a plan he wanted to maintain. 

“Y/N! So there’s this gu- Nick, oh-“

“Julie, I’ve been looking for you!” Nick exclaimed, happy to see her. 

“You have?”

“Apparently,” Luke answered. 

“Well Nick, actually I-“

“Wait. Julie, wait. I- um, I was also looking for all you phantoms actually. I mean I was going to find you and talk to you first and the ask about this later but hey two out of the four are here so,”

“What are you talking about?” Julie asks, hoping he’d get to the point.

“I was wondering if you could play a song? Just one. I don’t have a bass but I’ve got a drum kit on stage already and I’ve got plenty of electrics. The party’s coming to a close and I thought this would be one last thing to bring it all together to make a great night. I know it’s last minute,”

“Nick-“

“Julie.” He stopped, stumbling with his words, till he finally felt sure of what to say, “I’m beating around the bush. What I really need to say is I’m sorry for leaving you. You’re the only one I wanted to hang out with tonight. Carrie- Carrie’s just lonely. If I’m being honest and I promise I don’t mean this in a rude way, but Kayla is just more of her henchman. I know we used to date so it looks strange, but I think I’m her only friend right now. She bought a really grand present and took me away to show it to me, that’s all. I should have stopped to speak to you first though. That’s on me.”

Julie looked down, nodding, “I appreciate that.” 

“You don’t have to sing and you don’t have to give me any more of your time tonight if you don’t want to. I’m just glad you’re here either way.” 

“I don’t mind hanging out with you... if you actually stick around this time-“

“I will!”

“But singing? I guess I’ll leave that one to you Luke.” Julie said, noticing his expression, lips scrunched up together.

“I- It’s your choice, Jules. Whatever you want.” He said lessening the intensity that was in his eyes, Nick did do what Y/N said after all. 

“Let’s sing then. This party has been a little hectic and I think we all need to get our emotions out. Let the New Year come in with good vibes. Right, buddy?” She said tapping Luke’s cheek. “Y/N, help me find the others?”

“Sure,” she said with a sympathetic smile to Luke who she noticed didn’t seem to enjoy that little buddy comment, nonetheless, she joined in: “See ya soon, buddy,” Y/N laughed, letting the ends of her finger tips brush against his till she was pulled away by Julie.

-

On stage, Julie and the Phantoms rose, singing Finally Free. It had become quite the party anthem for them. The repetition in the chorus made it such a good song for them to engage with the audience. Every time Julie sang ‘I got a spark in me’ the crowd would sing back, throwing their hands up in the process quite literally making the next lyric, ‘hands up if you’re with me’ come true in the most perfect way.

Y/N wished she brought her camera, instead she opted to take out her phone, taking some iPhone shots of the band, hoping the fans would enjoy these raw candid pictures, but then Luke caught her attention through the screen, he sent her a wink, one that the people in front of her probably thought was for them. As he strummed his guitar he yelled a ‘WOOO’ her way, bouncing with Reggie. Y/N decided to put her phone down. This performance was a New Years special, one to only be viewed in person; in the moment; no thinking of anyone else. Finding Flynn in the crowd who was also trying to catch some snapshots of her own, Y/N passed on the energy Luke had given to her: “Lets just have fun!” 

- 

Soon after, the song had ended, and despite not being the ‘hologram band’ anymore the Phantoms vanished from the stage, still giving the audience chills as Julie was the one last standing, thanking everyone for being such a great audience. When the gang realized the guys still had some ghosting abilities, Julie wondered if they should stop the whole disappearing thing, saying it would be harder for people to believe, but honestly, seeing the guys at school, at this party, and still watching them turn to dust when the music and cheering ended still amazed the crowd and made it just that more of a spectacle; no one cared for reason, it was simply that cool to see. 

Y/N hoped Luke would pop up alongside her, saving her the hassle of searching for him again, but alas, he did not. It made sense to her though, for she was right in the middle of the dancefloor. 

She decided to travel back around to the hallway where Nick and Julie had stopped her and Luke before. Walking down the hall, a hand snaked around her arm, pull her into a small closet under the staircase. “What the-” She stopped herself as she looked up and the light illuminated the small area with a click and a pull. Her eyes traveled slowly from the buttery yellow glow of the small light, the hand which pulled on the silvery chord, the shimmering skin of Luke, whose eyes followed her gaze till she met his own. “Howdy.” 

“Hey there, partner” she said softy, small breathy giggles coming out of her. “Nice hat.”

“Why thank you, pretty lady,” he responded with a wink, tipping the brown leathered cowboy hat he’d found.

“So what are we doing in here?” She asked, watching him take off the hat.

“Wanna play seven minutes in heaven?” 

“Like in 13 going on 30? Is that the kind of game you played in your 90s parties?” 

Luke rolled his eyes at her comment, moving on, “I decided that our friends are not going to leave us alone tonight, so I want just seven minutes. No interruptions, just us.” 

“I’d like that.”

Luke took out his phone starting a timer on his phone, “Yeah,” he nodded as he moved closer to her face, “me too.”

Lips on her own, he moved his hand to the back of her head, remembering her black and blue and he softly placed it against the wall of the small space, removing it once there. 

As her head leaned eagerly against it, the rest of her body was slanted, legs in between his own, he moved his arms to her waist, hands going up her back, while hands went up to his neck, going in to play with his hair. 

“Y/N?”

The sound caused her to jump, banging her head for the third time. “Ow.” 

It was Flynn. 

“Luke!” 

It was Reggie. 

Now Julie came over, “Is Y/N and Luke in there? Guys?!” H-“

“No!” Luke yelled. 

“Hey!” It was Alex, hand in hand with Willie. “Are they coming out? It’s-“

“Five minutes!” Luke yelled out again. He slid out his phone from underneath the door. “In fact, reset it to seven, give us seven.” 

Reggie took phone, “But Luke you didn’t notice the ti-“ 

Luke bagged on the door, “When it rings, that’s when you can give us your requests.”

Y/N covered her mouth, giggling at his aggressive tone. 

“Come here,” he motioned her with his hands on her hips, lips once again reconnected. As they started to move backward again, Luke moved his hands higher, picking her up, motioning her to wrap her legs around her waist, Y/N tried to catch her breath as their lips fell a part in the action, “Not this time,” he whispered in her ear, the vibrations of his voice making her shiver. He crashed his lips onto hers again as his hands went lower on his hips, supporting her on his frame. He swiped his tongue on her lower lip in an attempt to deepen the kiss further. Thereafter, their lips were connected in open mouth kisses, Luke taking control of the action.

“We just wanted to say Happy New Years, it’s 12:03.” Reggie uttered quietly at the bottom of the door, petting Nick’s dog that found him again. Y/N and Luke didn’t answer him, he figured they were too busy engrossed in each other. 

“Happy New Years, beautiful.” Luke sang to Y/N, sighing out, admiring the way her eyes looked into his, realizing that he completed his mission after all.  

“Happy New Years, Luke.” She breathed out, planting her lips on his once more. One hand on the side of his face as the other went back to his hair, rejoicing in their closeness, finally, uninterrupted.

- 

Thank you for reading! 

Tag list: @lolychu​ @marinettepotterandplagg​

[skylights2000]

Stress Reliever (Kazuichi x Reader)

I know I said I’d post this tomorrow, but I’ve been working on it for several days and finally finished it, and I’m incredibly impatient, so here we go!

This is also the first smut imagine I’m posting on my blog. I don’t know why, but I always get super embarrassed whenever I post smut, so I hope you like it. If you do, maybe I’ll most more in the future?

You could see how some people might think that Kazuichi was a delinquent. His appearance definitely gave off that vibe, but in reality, the thought was enough to make you laugh.

Kazuichi was a wimpy sweetheart that wanted nothing more than to be loved.

How did you know this?

Because you were dating that wimpy sweetheart.

Kazuichi was fun to mess with. His reactions to any kind of affection were so flustered and pure. You loved him so much that it made your heart hurt sometimes.

But sometimes, teasing Kazuichi took unexpected, but not entirely unwelcome, turns.

~

You liked kissing Kazuichi. You never got tired of how he leaned into you and sighed into your mouth. He was not only shorter than you (by a few inches, but still shorter), but he was also lighter than you. You often used that to your advantage. Picking him up and twirling him around, giving him piggyback rides, handing him stuff from the shelves he couldn’t reach, you loved stuff like that.

But most of all, you loved pulling him into your lap, which was where he was now. You had your arms wrapped around his waist and his around your back. He had his head on your shoulder while you absentmindedly twirled a strand of his hair.

Between the upcoming midterms and helping Miu with Kiibo while also trying to keep up with his own projects, Kazuichi was overstressed.

You’d been trying to be supportive and help wherever you could, but when Miu called, frantically explaining that Kazuichi had passed out in the middle of the garage, you decided enough was enough.

You’d gone and picked him up. He argued that he had things to get done, but you weren’t having any of it.

“You can come with me willingly, or I’ll carry you there instead.” You challenged, and after realizing that you were being completely serious, he sighed and agreed.

You also insisted that he come to your apartment. You didn’t trust Kazuichi to go to sleep if he went to his own. That’s how you ended up here on on your couch with Kazuichi.

There was one problem though.

Despite how tired he was, Kazuichi was so stressed out that he couldn’t fall asleep. You’d been sitting here for the past five minutes, listening to him mumble to himself about everything he had to get done, while you tried to think of something to help calm him down.

That was when something struck you. The idea made you blush, but you seriously couldn’t think of anything else.

You turned your head enough to kiss Kazuichi on the head. “Hey Kaz.” You nudged him with your shoulder until he sat up. Once he did, you smiled before you leaned forward and kissed him.

He made a sound of surprise, but after a second, he melted into you, kissing you back.

You trailed your hands up his back, cracking a smile when he shivered. “Are my hands cold?

“N-No, well yes, but that’s not wh-why-“

You slid your hands under his shirt, bursting into a fit of giggles when he yelped and tried to squirm away from you. You had mercy on him and removed your hands, instead, choosing to take his hands in yours.

You pressed soft kisses along his hands and arms while your hands slowly started to warm up, taking on the same temperature as his own.

“Better?” You asked playfully, and he nodded gratefully.

You smiled softly as you looked at him. His pink eyes seemed to shine when he was happy. It was captivating. You could easily get lost in his eyes, but you snapped out of it when he looked away.

“Wh-Why’re ya st-starin’ at me like that?”

“You have pretty eyes.”

“Don’tcha think the pink is a bit weird?”

The way he asked made it clear that people had said that before.

“I’m not talking about the pink.” You cupped his face gently. “I can see everything in your eyes. When you’re sad, they get stormy. When you’re happy, they shine. Your eyes are beautiful. Not because they’re pink. They’re beautiful because they’re yours, because I can see everything you are when I look you in the eyes.” You could feel his cheeks heating up under your hands.

You pulled his head down to yours and kissed him again, much deeper this time. You broke away, pressing a kiss to his cheek, then his jaw. You trailed little kisses down to his neck, listening to the way his breath hitched with each one.

“Wh-What’s gotten into you?”

“I figured if I tired you out, you’d be able to sleep.” You explained, scratching your cheek nervously. Saying it out loud made you feel a bit embarrassed.

There was a moment where he just stared at you as the implication behind your words sank in. You could tell when they did because he turned red all the way to the roots of his hair.

“O-Oh..u-um..”

“Is that okay with you?” You asked, choosing not to beat around the bush. You would never force him to do something he didn’t want to, but you had learned a long time ago that being blunt was best with him.

Your last boyfriend had been very dominant. Too dominant. He always insisted on knowing everywhere you went and everyone you met. He told you who you could hang out with, where you could go, and what you could do. You hated it.

You met Kazuichi a couple months after the two of you broke up, and it was a nice change of pace. Kazuichi was a good person, despite his obsession with Sonia at the time, and a good friend. He obviously cared very deeply for his friends.

Kazuichi may look like a tough guy, but that couldn’t be less true. He was a scaredy cat when something freaked him out. He liked to flirt with girls, but the second someone so much as complimented him, he turned into a stuttering mess.

It was adorable, and being around him taught you how to be more honest with what you felt. You no longer felt like you had to hide to maintain this perfect image of what someone thought you should be. You could say what you meant and not be afraid of how he’d react. You could just be yourself.

Being with Kazuichi also taught you how to be more blunt. Beating around bush just led to more trouble. He was also very clueless at times. If you didn’t say what you wanted, it would go right over his head.

Kazuichi was also shy, incredibly so. It led to some interesting, and frankly adorable, moments.

You were the more bold one, so you were usually the one to initiate things, and you were surprised to find that you didn’t mind it. Besides, it made the moments that Kazuichi did initiate anything all the more special.

It seemed now was one of those times too because, instead of responding to your question verbally, Kazuichi just kissed you again. He ran his tongue across your bottom lip, and when you parted your lips, he slid his tongue into your mouth.

You slid one of your hands into his hair, wrapping your other arm around his waist. You pulled him forward until his chest was pressed against yours, and you felt a shiver run down your spine when he gasped into your mouth.

You nipped at his lip, unable to keep back a smile when he moaned. “Feel good?”

He flushed, but he still nodded, an embarrassed smile on his face.

“That’s good.” You pressed a kiss just under his ear. “You know what to say if you want me to stop?”

Kazuichi was prone to saying stop when he was embarrassed, but when you actually did stop, he only got more embarrassed when he had to tell you, no, you hadn’t gone to far, and no, he wasn’t hurt. So, you picked something that still got the message across when he actually did want you to stop.

“Red.”

You smiled against his skin. “And when will I stop?”

You weren’t really sure when you got into the habit of asking him that, but you did it every time now.

Your ex boyfriend hadn’t been so lenient with you. If you started, no matter what you said, he wasn’t going to stop.

You never wanted Kazuichi to feel that way.

“Any time I want.”

You pecked him on the lips, a proud kind of smile on your face. “Never forget that, okay?”

He nodded with a smile of his own. “I won’t.”

You returned to peppering kisses along his skin. Eventually, you slid your hands under his shirt, pushing it up, and when he got the gist, he helped you pull it over his head.

You stole his beanie so you could run your fingers through his hair.

He gasped when you nipped at the base of his neck, sucking lightly at the red mark you’d made.

He was gripping your upper arms, unsure what to do with himself. You moved even lower, dragging your teeth along his collarbone. He shivered, something between a sigh and a moan falling from his lips.

He covered his mouth, biting his thumb to keep back another sound when you nipped at the skin there. Heat flared in his chest, thrumming under his skin until he felt like he was burning from the inside out. Arousal twisted low in his stomach, and he flushed when he realized that he was getting hard.

Fingers curled around his wrist, pulling his hand away from his mouth. “I like hearing you.” You murmured, connecting your mouths again. You smelt like strawberries and tasted like the chocolate you were eating earlier.

Your mouth was hot against his, and he pulled away with a gasp. “(Y-Y/n).”

You pressed a kiss just under his ear, a hand sliding up his back.

“H-Hey, st-stop.”

“Are you sure?” You teased, clearly enjoying how flustered he was getting.

“I’m ge-gettin’..”

“Turned on?” You finished for him when he didn’t continue.

He felt a wave of embarrassment at the words, but he nodded truthfully.

You smirked against his shoulder, a soft laugh bubbling from your chest. “What’s wrong with that?”

“I-It’s embarrassin’..”

You shifted back slightly, raising your head to look at him. He had turned red all the way up to his ears, and it was slowly spreading down his neck, giving his skin a pink hue. “Do you want me to stop?”

Your expression was no longer teasing. You were smiling gently at him, as if he was the most precious thing in the world. “You know what to say if you want me to stop.”

He opened his mouth, but no words came out.

“What do you want me to do?”

“I..” He closed his eyes so he wouldn’t have to look at you. “I-I like when you t-touch me.”

You hummed softly, experimentally trailing your fingers from the curve of his neck down to the center of his chest. “Like that?”

He nodded, swallowing nervously.

You used one hand to hold his jaw while you kissed him, running the other down his chest. Your fingers brushed over one of his nipples, and you grinned when he jumped, gasping into your mouth.

You leaned back, watching his face as you repeated the motion more deliberately. He was biting his lip, his hands curling into the back of the couch.

Sometimes, you swore he couldn’t get any cuter. “You’re really sensitive.”

If you thought he was red before, it was nothing compared to his face right now.

“Do-Don’t just say things like that!”

You just raised an eyebrow, lips curving into an amused smile. “What? I’m telling the truth!”

“J-Just cause it’s true doesn’t mean ya have to say it out loud!”

You shook your head softly. “It’s so easy to mess with you.”

All of a sudden, you smiled deviously. “If you’re really not that sensitive, then I’m sure you won’t mind if I do this.” You squeezed his nipple, flicking it lightly with your finger, and he moaned.

“H-Hey! That’s n-not fair!”

“Who said I was being fair?” Your hands trailed down to his waist, and you leaned forward, running your tongue over his nipple.

His hand came up to your shoulder like he was going to push you away, but he ended up gripping it instead.

You began to suck at it, rolling his other nipple between your fingers, and you were pleasantly surprised when he whined low in his throat.

You let go, moving until you could stand up, taking him with you. You carried him into your bedroom, dropping him unceremoniously on your bed. Before he could complain, you climbed onto the bed too, straddling him.

You curled your hands into his hair, and Kazuichi felt caught off guard by the adoration and love in your eyes.

You leaned forward, pressing a kiss to his lips. “God, I love you so much.” You said softly, kissing along his jaw and down to his neck.

Kazuichi moaned when you sucked at the skin at the base of his neck. He slipped his hands under your shirt, running his hands up your back. Your skin was soft and cold against his burning skin. He ran his hands further up your back. He could feel your shoulder blades shift, feel the dip between them, feel the dimple at the bottom of your back. He tugged at your shirt, and you broke away from him to help him pull it over your head.

“You want me to take these?” He asked tapping the edge of your glasses.

“Nah, I like being able to see you.” You said, smirking playfully at him.

He slapped your shoulder. “Don’t say things like that!” He retorted, cheeks flushing a bright shade of red.

You laughed warmly, hands pressed against his shoulders. You leaned down to press a kiss to his pulse point, feeling his heart beat wildly under your lips.

“Hm, what if I told you that you look really cute like this?” You asked, kissing down his chest.

“L-Like what?” Kazuichi asked shakily.

“All flushed and embarrassed.” You responded running your hands up his back. You sucked at his collarbone, and he moaned softly.

“I-“ He tried to say something, but no words came out. He felt overwhelmed. Kazuichi could feel heat curling in his stomach, but you weren’t done.

“And what if I told you that I like hearing you moan.” You asked, amusement sparking in your voice.

His breaths were coming out in small pants.

“If I said that seeing you get all worked up is kinda hot, what would you do then?” You asked teasingly.

“I-I don’t-“ Kazuichi started, but he was abruptly cut off by a moan when you ran your tongue over one of his nipples.

You began to suck at it, your teeth occasionally brushing over it. Your other hand came up and began to massage his other nipple, and Kazuichi arched into the touch, moaning your name.

You pulled away, leaning up to connect your lips again.

The heat in Kazuichi’s stomach flared, and he tangled his hands in your hair.

You began to kiss down his chest and along his stomach, leaving hickeys every now and then. He squirmed underneath you. Kazuichi felt like his body was burning from the inside out. He was hard, and he knew you could probably feel it. The thought embarrassed and excited him at the same time. When you nipped at his waist, he couldn’t stop himself from bucking his hips. He whined when your hips met, and to his surprise, you began to rock your hips against his.

“Better?” You asked, smiling lightly at him.

Kazuichi felt like his brain was short circuiting. This felt more than good.

Kazuichi whimpered, gripping your shoulders desperately. He could feel that heat in his stomach rising wildly.

“S-Stop or I-I’ll-“ He cut himself off when he moaned again.

“Go ahead.” You responded, leaning down to suck and nip at his neck.

He was so close.

You bit down at the base of his neck, and Kazuichi squeezed his eyes shut as the heat pooling in his stomach finally exploded. He whimpered as his body tensed and trembled. His back arched, and he moaned your name, practically begging you not to stop, and you didn’t. You rocked your hips together through his orgasm, only stopping once he had calmed down again.

You climbed off him, and for a second, he feared you might leave, but instead, you turned back to him and held out your hand.

“Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.” You said, smiling warmly at him.

“But you didn’t-“ Kazuichi started, but you shook your head.

“I wanted this time to be about you.” You responded, smiling lovingly at him.

Kazuichi felt his heart swell. He really couldn’t have gotten luckier. He needed you to know that.

So he stood up and gave you a kiss filled with love and happiness, and when he pulled away, you gave him a dopey smile and pulled him towards the bathroom. You took a shower together. Kazuichi wanted to care for you too, so he ran a warm bath. He got in and motioned for you to join him. You climbed in and sat down, letting yourself sink back against his chest. Kazuichi got some soap and threaded his hands through your hair. After washing your hair, he picked up a cup and helped you rinse the soap away.

You smiled contentedly and returned the favor by helping him wash his hair. You got out and dried off, and you brought Kazuichi a fresh pair of clothes that he had left at your house.

You got dressed and brushed your hair and teeth. As you were walking out of the bathroom, Kazuichi moved forward, sweeping you off the ground and throwing you lightly onto the bed. You laughed joyfully, head tilted back and eyes shining.

You helped him pull the covers back, and you both climbed into bed. You immediately curled your arms around him and pulled him closer. He couldn’t stop himself from grinning at you.

“I love you so much.” He told you softly, his heart swelling with love.

You smiled back at him, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “I love you too.”

[strangerthings4theories]

If Billy Is Alive, Where Is He? (Introduction)

So far I’ve focused on proving that Billy is alive and has to come back, or the Duffers have broken their own promises. Naturally, other questions follow from this: “Alright, then where the hell is he? And how did he survive getting impaled multiple times?”

To the second question, my answer is: “He didn’t.” His death was real.

To the first question, I’ve observed two predominant theories. (1) He’s in Russia. (2) He’s in the Upside Down.

Well, what if I told you we can combine the two... while still maintaining that Billy actually died?

First, let's explore the foreshadowing for Billy being imprisoned in Russia. From what I've seen, it's already been discussed extensively, so I won't dwell on it too long.

1) In the sauna sequence, he passes in front of a Fourth of July poster, which looks like an American flag. (I've already discussed the significance of the crown of stars behind him.)

2) The "Flayed In The USA" photoshoot puts him in front of the American flag. It also associates him with a politically oriented album, Born In The USA by Bruce Springsteen. The titular song even has the following lyrics:

Got in a little hometown jam So they put a rifle in my hand Sent me off to a foreign land...

Well THAT'S interesting.

3) The Heather's house scene uses the song "American Pie" by Don McLean. This could be nothing, but when I place it alongside the other evidence, it raises my eyebrows.

4) The sauna sequence could be interpreted as foreshadowing for Billy being imprisoned in a Russian cell.

To me, this is the most intriguing and compelling evidence out of everything I've covered. The Duffers are fond of reversals and parallels; I've seen many instances of them taking a concept from one season and putting a new spin on it for the next. The sauna sequence practically begs for this treatment.

Think about it. From the sauna alone, we know exactly how Billy would react to being imprisoned. We don't even have to imagine very hard! We've heard him scream, "Let me out!" We've seen him break down and weep. We've heard him plead hoarsely for mercy. We've even seen him go feral as he tries to break down the door.

All of that... just from being trapped in a sauna by a bunch of kids.

If you ask me, the scene plants a seed. It tells us, "Hey, Billy finds being imprisoned hella traumatizing. Seriously, it's awful. You should feel sorry for him."

Escalate the situation to Billy-as-political-prisoner-and-test-subject, and you've got yourself a recipe for painnnnn.

Overall, the foreshadowing suggests we're going to become acutely aware of Billy's status as an American.

And yet, the evidence for him returning from the Upside Down is also compelling. If you've been following my meta, you might be able to list the reasons yourself. In case you haven't, I'll summarize:

The Upside Down is symbolized by water, and Billy has an intimate relationship with water.

Billy is a Christ figure, and that implies he'll return from the underworld, i.e. the Upside Down. (Seriously, if Billy just hops on a boat and leaves Russia that way, I'll be happy he's alive... but I will also scream and throw things, because WHY WOULD YOU WRITE THAT)

"Easy," you might say. "He escapes Russia via the Upside Down. Boom! Both theories."

Ah, but that doesn't explain how he got there, fam. Or how he could've survived Starcourt.

Tell ya what. I'll go ahead and lay out my top theory for what's gonna happen. No in-depth explanations yet, just pure story for now.

Billy really died at Starcourt. Hopper may have also... OR he escaped through the Gate and emerged in Russia.

Either way, we're going to find out the Russia we saw at the end of S3, and the one where Hopper is a prisoner, is not our Russia. It's a Russia in an alternate universe.

In this universe, Billy (and possibly Hopper, if he died in ours) survived Starcourt but fell into the hands of the Russians. Intrigued by Billy's superstrength - which he still possesses (!!!), despite severing his link with the Mind Flayer - they've taken him to Kamchatka and are running tests on him. They want to find out how to create more people like him - supersoldiers who can rip their enemies in half and survive being blasted through brick walls with barely a scratch.

Hopper and Billy learn of each others' presence in Kamchatka. They also learn there's a Gate that will take them through the Upside Down to the Prime Universe. Together, they concoct a plan to escape, but something goes wrong, and Billy is forced to leave Hopper behind.

Cue Billy emerging from a Gate in the Byers' new town, breaking down knocking on their door, and telling them Hopper's alive.

The writers have a lot of room to maneuver here. And obviously, I can't anticipate every single thing they're going to do. However, this theory captures the gist of what I think will happen.

Explaining how I came to the theory will take some doing. In the meantime, you can read a truncated explanation here (in response to the question, "Hey, what's the deal with Billy's 'clone' in the Upside Down?").

Hold onto yer butts, it's gonna be a wild ride.

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The "Billy Is Alive" Meta Series