#I don't know which explanation is funnier

[pianokantzart]

Guys, I think I found out why King Boo ups the ante so much in Luigi's Mansion 3

[egophiliac]

WAIT when did he get FANGS

[eugenoid]

I just started watching The Terror and I find it extremely funny that the kind and attentive surgeon is called Mr Goodsir, the first guy to get mauled by the bear is called Lieutenant GORE, and the prominent gay character is called Mr. Hickey (I love him btw, as well as Henry Goodsir, they are my 2 faves)

Am I reaching or is this an intentional joke? I mean, come on.

[marzipanandminutiae]

I don't know which explanation I find funnier:

Google makes the common mistake of reading Lucille as a femme fatale, which. my good bitch. does she look like she knows, or cares to know, how to be seductive? thomas is the homme fatal. get with the program

Since this is from Edith's third-person limited omniscient perspective...Google ships Edith/Lucille

[power464646]

The way people talk about non-mammalian pets on this website is crazy. You could post a video of a pet tarantula perfectly walking up and down the keys of a piano to play the right hand to the opening of Firth of Fifth by Genesis and still there'll be some jerk in the notes going like "EWW GROSS KILL IT". Ignore this person. You have to post the video anyway. When you do, that'll be our sign to send someone to meet you at the corner of Williams and First at 11 P.M., sharp. Look for a woman in a brown parka. Make sure you weren't followed, and don't bring a phone or credit card. Take a bag containing twenty thousand dollars in cash only. Help her count it, too, numbers aren't her strong suit. She actually dropped out of high school and became a junior hockey player, in fact. She'll say, "but now that you know that, I have to kill you!" Then she'll see the look on your face and passive-aggressively apologise and tell you it was only a joke. You'll say then why didn't she laugh, then, and she'll say she thought it was funnier than it actually was. Then she'll lead you to an abandoned back-alley tattoo parlour and tell you to take off your shirt. You'll explain that you're shy, but she'll insist, and promise that she won't laugh or anything. When you do take off your shirt she will chuckle slightly. She won't explain what she's tattooing into your back as she does it, but you can feel it might be a QR code. Then she'll take the money and bid you adieu, and you'll put your shirt back on and, other than the pain of having a fresh tattoo, won't think about it any further until three days later when two men knock on your door. They will look nearly identical, but they aren't actually related. "But we are married!" the taller of the two will explain. "To the job," the shorter will reply. "Precisely," the taller will answer, to which the shorter then concludes, "yes, we are precisely married, to the job". Don't underestimate these men, though. They kill people for a living. The shorter will remove your shirt and begin asking you a series of personal questions, such as whether or not you have ever seen something which had compelled you to turn to the supernatural for explanation, or whether or not you had ever felt more guilty for failure to apologise for something than you had for doing that thing in the first place. You must answer these questions truthfully and without hesitation. The taller will struggle with the QR reader on his phone, and occasionally ask your help here and there. The shorter will stall for time while the taller figures this out by very obviously improvising more questions. You must still answer quickly and honestly. At one point he will ask you how you taught a spider to play Dance on a Volcano: he is testing you. You must explain that it's playing Firth of Fifth in the video, even if it happens that you have also taught it to play Dance on a Volcano. The taller will finally get the app working and scan your back. The two will then be on their way, but ah, before they go, could they grab a bite to eat? You'll say sure, why not, and they'll find a bowl of homemade guacamole in the fridge that you were really proud of and take it, bowl and all, even though you were saving it for a party that night. The following day you will find one hundred and fifty thousand dollars in cash by the foot of your bed. The person who left unnecessarily rude comments on your video will never show up in your notes again. You will presume they were merely a front for organised crime and no longer need you. This is true, but built on a faulty assumption. You will find your tarantula that morning already on the piano, suddenly able to play Al Stewart's Year of the Cat.

[jaeminvore]

Young God | L.DH (M) — PREVIEW

READ HERE

SYNOPSIS: desperation had this funny way of skewing one’s perception, and since you were, in fact, way past the point of desperation, it wasn’t a surprise that you jumped the gun without even questioning the absurdly cheap rent price of the seemingly perfect apartment unit. What you failed to consider was the reason why it didn't cost you and arm and a leg and it soon came in the form of an incubus in your bathroom belting his heart out on a Sunday morning.

(alternatively: in which you were essentially scammed into cohabiting with a ridiculously clingy demon that lives off of sex. It could be worse. At least he staved off from sucking your soul out in exchange of you sucking something else—among other things).

GENRE: supernatural, urban fantasy, slice of life, humor, crack treated seriously, fluff, smut MDNI!

WARNINGS: incubus!hyuck, fem!human!reader, bickering, crude language (full list of warnings will be stated in the actual fic)

WORD COUNT: estimated 15K-20K (1.1K for the preview)

RELEASE DATE: 22nd of November

TAGLIST: send me an ask if you’d like to be tagged/notified when I post the fic!

NOTES: happy October! and what a better way of starting the spooky month with a preview for a fic that I've been working on (and screaming to the girls about im so sorry 😭) that fit the spooky aspect lol, but don't be fooled! This is actually funnier (and cuter) than it might initially come off 🫡

“Now where’d you run off to this early in the morning?”

You gritted your teeth, feeling a vein pulse on your temple. That voice.

Pretty privilege could come next time because at this very second, you weren’t feeling privileged being graced by the so-called prettiness, but threatened to even fully appreciate what he’s got going for him. Physically wise.

Without thinking, your hand shot out to grab the closest thing to you, an empty vase, and hurled it with all you’ve got, aiming straight for the intruder’s face who didn’t seem bothered in the slightest. It was like watching everything in slow motion, how the decorative piece took its sweet time to smack his face and hopefully break his nose (best case scenario).

This was the worst case scenario, with the vase pausing in mid-air as if time just decided to stop being a thing, all in this demon’s favor.

You were actually going insane, that was the only explanation because no law of physics could explain the current state of the decorative vase—it’s still in the fucking air. Holy shit—nor did you think telekinesis could extend beyond the old, generic trick of bending spoons with your mind.

“Hey,” As if you weren’t terrified enough, the stranger peeked from one of the vase’s sides with a disapproving pout. You scooted further away until your back hit the arm rest. “I picked this out for you, y’know? Thought you’d like it.” With a lazy flick of his wrist the vase ended up floating all the way into the kitchen, much to your horror, to sit on top of the refrigerator.

“Maybe we should not throw things next time?”

Your eyes flickered towards him, dumbfounded.

“You… last night,” There really was no mistaking it. The voice already told you enough. It was all too distinct; the arrogance, the grating inflection that screamed he solely existed to get on your nerves, and it was working. “In my dream. That was you?”

“Wasn’t just last night, little human. I’ve been in all of your dreams since you moved here.” He shrugged, leaning laxly against the door frame with his arms crossed. “You were way nicer in them. Pliant,” he had two fingers up to prove whatever point he was making. “didn’t throw things at me,” and there goes the third finger.

Smoke was practically coming out of your ears as you sat up straighter, tense. “Oh, I’m sorry!” One of your hands flew to your chest, tone high and mocking. “I didn’t know I had to show proper etiquette to a fucking trespasser!” You scrambled for your phone. “Now, please leave or I will call the police—”

It happened all too fast. Too fast for your human brain to comprehend because just a second ago, you were really serious about involving the police in this. Now, you were flat on your back with the wind knocked right out of you and a lapful of the man plaguing most of your nights. The atmosphere felt heavier, now that the kittenish air surrounding him was gone and the very corner of his lips tilted down into a frown as he plucked your phone out of your hand.

“First thing’s first, no police. You won’t get rid of me that way. Second, this is my”— he pointed to himself —“home. My apartment. I was just nice enough to let you stay for how long you liked.”

“I paid for this unit you—you demon!” You didn’t even try to be subtle with the eye-rolling. Of course he would preen at the title. “If anything, it’s my apartment!”

“Okay? I tied a piece of me down to this place. My sigil is somewhere around here to prove it—meaning, I have higher authority.”

A sigil. Of course. This is your life now. Possibly sharing a space with a fucking demon of all things. Exciting, but not exciting enough to stave off your hunger and you were starting to get antsy. You were just arguing for the sake of arguing to blow off some steam and to get in the last word.

“I signed a lease. The lease has my name on it.” you said as if that was on par with whatever he was talking about (probably not).

“Technically, I signed away a part of my life, so.”

Fuck. Fine. He got you there.

“Are you always going to do this?” You resigned, wriggling underneath his weight. “You’re kinda heavy.”

“I mean if it works, right?” The demon giggled, tilting his head with a coy smile as he put more weight onto your thighs, one hand falling behind to rest on your knee. “It’s not like you complained before.”

“Technically,” (“I do not fucking sound like that.”) “you smothered me in my dreams—dreams, so they don’t count.”

Which meant that you had full control of your body out of the dreamscape, proven by the indignant yell the demon let out as he was unceremoniously pushed to the ground for the second time within the twenty-four hour time frame. It wasn’t enough to make up for the numerous times he had you under him, but for now, you were even.

“They sure do!” he exclaimed from where you left him still sprawled on the floor.

“Nope. This conversation is over.”

The stew was just about done, the soup reduced to the right amount as you switched off the stove and range hood, bathing your apartment in still quietness besides the bustling from outside. The soft padding of feet came in quick succession until warmth hovered just mere centimeters behind you.

Turning your head, the demon was there, his chin just shy of resting onto the dip of your shoulder as he peered curiously at the steaming pot.

“Is that… kimchi stew?” he wondered, taking a generous whiff and appearing just as hungry as you felt. “It is kimchi stew.”

You snickered, all animosity fading into faint amusement, “I take it that you’d like some?” It was such a human reaction that you couldn’t help but smile, reaching for the ladle.

“Please?” he pressed, amber eyes all wide and imploring. “I haven’t had a decent bowl of the stuff in, like, weeks.”

“Well, make yourself useful. Set the table, yeah? And pass me two bowls while you’re at it. You know where they are…” you trailed off, looking at him in silent question. You haven’t asked for his name, or what he would like to be addressed as.

Somehow, the demon was rather quick on the uptake, curling his lips as he pushed off to do what you asked him to.

“Haechan,” he called over his shoulder, grinning as he reached for the cupboard’s handle. “You can call me Haechan.”

note: hyuck in the banner just screamed demon to me and it may or may not have caused the brainworms still wriggling in my brain to push me into writing this (rip to my wips i had before this) like just LOOK at these photos they awoken something carnal in me and i need him biblically actually

taglist: @jaylaxies @celeste-hoon @justalildumpling @dammit-jjk

[mire1li]

Reader as Alastor's Mother

My very silly gf (@yurislotusgarden) gave me hc ideas so i wrote them (with her help) This is fem!Reader! Part 2!, Part 3!

𓋼 You heard about the Hazbin Hotel and decided that you wanted a chance at redemption, which is how you ended up there. Alastor was out when you arrived so Charlie met you first.

“Oh my goodness, hi! It’s a pleasure to meet you! I’m Charlie! Would you like a tour of the hotel?! Please, come inside!” She essentially dragged you in and then finally calmed down.

She would drag you around the whole hotel, explaining things too fast for you to register. And then Alastor suddenly entered the hotel, looking proud and smug as ever. 𓋼 “Alastor?”

“Mother, Is that you? It’s been far too long!”

"Indeed, it has! Say, do you know your way around here?"

"I do! Why do you ask?"

"Well… this Charlie girl gave me a tour earlier but… she was simply too frantic with explaning everything so… I couldn't really catch on to what she said"

"Ah yes, classic Charlie."

And so, he showed you around properly, in a much calmer and more understandable fashion. You two ran into Charlie once or twice, but just told her you were 'walking around and meeting the residents and staff' as to not upset her.

You took turns telling stories during your tour, his being much more interesting than you'd expected! 𓋼 Charlie and Vaggie essentially had the exact same reaction to finding out you’re Alastor’s mother. Since one was out when the other found out, it made it much funnier.

“Hey Alastor, who is this?”

“Why, it’s my mother!” He wrapped his arm around your shoulder and brought you closer, in a side-hug, wearing the most sly grin any of them had ever seen.

“Oh, alright- hold on what?!” 𓋼 I could see Angel and Husk talking about you at the bar, nothing bad, of course.

“So who’s she?” Angel sat down on one of the seats

“Heard she’s Alastor’s mother” Husk turned to Angel and offered him a shot.

“His mother? Why’s she here?”

“Gee, I wonder why someone would come to the hotel all about redemption” 𓋼 “So, you’re down here then, Alastor. No surprise there.”

“Oh please, you flatter me, Mother.” 𓋼 From the day you two were reunited, he always came to you to tell you about any recent achievements of his.

Everyone was absolutely terrified when they found out about you being his mother for 2 main reasons:

1 If Alastor is as scary as he is, then imagine how much scarier his mother would be! But in truth, you’re an absolute sweetheart, which shocked everyone, causing them to be more cautious around you, in case it was all a lie. (It wasn’t)

2 Alastor is incredibly protective of you, even though he hasn’t explicitly said anything, everyone saw how he watched them when they spoke with you. Especially Angel. 𓋼 One time, it just so happened that Alastor was 'out on business' as he called it. During that time, Charlie's father, Lucifer Morningstar, came by to check on his daughter and the hotel.

He saw you, and his first words were "Hey there, are ya single by chance?~"

Charlie saw him flirting with you so she ran up to him and introduced you as Alastor's mother, in an attempt to scare him off from you since Lucifer and Alastor don't exactly get along… although, instead of deterring him, it just motivated him to continue.

"Dad! This is [Name]! Alastor's mother!"

"Oooh! His mother you say?~"

"Dad!"

You and him were just talking, Charlie trying to pull him away from you, when Alastor returned to the hotel. Oh, he was not happy.

"Lucifer, you sly motherfucker."

"I for sure will be one tonight!"

Let's just say… Lucifer didn't return to the hotel when Alastor was around, for a good while… 𓋼 Whenever you were bored, you would bake things for the other hazbin residents and staff. Everyone adored whatever you made! When you told everyone you would always bake when you were alive, no one was surprised.

Speaking of when you were alive and baking, one day young Alastor had walked in on you baking and got curious.

"Mother! What are you doing?"

"I'm baking, darling"

"Can I help you??"

"Alright, but be careful"

You allowed him to mix the batter and check the oven. 𓋼 He would always come help you whenever he knew you were baking, even as he grew older. And after death, he always recalled those memories, missing those times, so when he saw you in the kitchen of the hotel, he wondered what you were doing.

"Mother! What are you doing?" he asked, looking over your shoulder at the ingredients.

"I'm going to bake something for everyone, darling!"

"Oh? Can I… help you?"

He was a bit shy. Just a little bit.

At some point during your baking time, Angel entered the kitchen for something, only to see Alastor mixing some batter whilst you were preparing other ingredients.

"What the fuck Alastor? What the fuck's wrong with ya?"

"Nothing is wrong with me, I'm simply baking with my mother."

"What the fuck…"

And then Husk entered.

"What is happening?"

"Get this, Alastor is baking"

Husk laughed and took the opportunity to tease Alastor, because why wouldn't he?

"You've gone soft, Alastor!"

"Haha! Shut up."

"Alastor! Be nice to your friends!" you exclaimed and lightly whacked him over the head with a wooden spoon.

Angel and Husk snickered and ran out of the kitchen after that, clearly on their way to cause mischief. 𓋼 Everyone was gathered in the lobby doing their own thing, when Angel and Husk ran into the room, laughing about something.

"You guys won't believe it! Alastor got hit over the head with a wooden spoon! By his mother!" he exclaimed, attracting everyone's attention.

It only took you and Alastor another hour to finish what you were baking, so when you both entered the lobby with the cookies you baked, everyone turned their attention to you, and the gossiping and questions began.

"Oh, look! It seems the almighty radio demon wasn't completely defeated by that wooden spoon, after all!" Angel laughed

𓋼 After that whole fiasco, Angel started calling Alastor the "Spoon Demon", which Alastor didn't appreciate but he understood it was all in good fun so eventually he, though begrudgingly, embraced it. 𓋼 One day, you decided that you were bored, so you took a bunch of hair accessories with you to Alastor and started decorating his hair with pins, most of them being sparkly, and he didn't have the heart to say no… at some point he tried to take them off but he noticed that it made you sad, so for the entire day, he walked around the hotel with them in his hair, prompting Angel to call him "Sparkles" that day. And maybe a few more 'days' after that too…

𓋼 On certain days, Alastor would be incredibly clingy, always hugging you and never leaving your side. He never told you why but whenever it was one of these days, no one seemed to bother him. You assumed he was in a bad mood.

𓋼 Alastor asked you how you died during one of his 'clingy days', and when you told him that you died of old age, he seemed much happier that week. He even helped Charlie renovate some of the hotel for free!

𓋼 Naturally, Vaggie was suspicious of him when she noticed he was this happy

"What's got you in such a bubbly mood?"

"Oh, nothing~"

"uh huh…"

"What? Can I not have a good day?" 𓋼 Charlie announced that as a 'team building' activity they'd be having a sleepover, which Alastor opted to skip out on, however, you convinced him to go. The next day, the tips of his claws, where his nails would be, were painted all sorts of colours. You were also shown pictures of Alastor in full makeup… this was certainly the work of Charlie and Angel.

"Never again."

"Oh come on, you need to spend time with them!"

"Absolutely not, Mother."

[howi99]

Lost Ones Memories chapter 2

Nora: *looking at the weird marks on her hands with a grin* You think i was chosen for an ancient prophecy to save the world?

Pyrrha: *shrug* Maybe, or maybe you drew them on yourself when we were doing homework. *Chuckle* You know how distracted you can be sometime.

Nora: *chuckle* True that!

_ _ _

Jaune: What do you mean she was chosen for the holy grail war?! She's not even aware that magic exists, let alone what a grail war is!

Jeanne: *panicking* I-i don't know, ok!? She just woke up with the command seals on her right hand!

Jaune: *annoyed* Not only did the ritual fail this morning, but now Nora is the one who has taken my place? *Scratching his head* This doesn't make any sense!

Jeanne: *confused* Wait, the ritual failed? How?

Jaune: *sit down* Someone tempered with the flow of mana. That and the circle had some modifications which Viv- i mean Morgan is looking into right now.

_ _ _

Adam: *looking at his own command seals* ... *Looking at Cinder* Was this supposed to happen?

Cinder: *trying to find an answer* No! I was supposed to get a servant, not you! It doesn't make sense!

Adam: *looking at his servant* Sooo.... How do you feel about racism and inequality?

Edmon Dante: *dramatically posing* The abyss clouding mankind's heart shall be cleansed by our hands. *Making his cloak float in the wind* We shall break the chains of oppression and drag the perpetrators to hell!

Adam: ... *Smile* I like you.

_ _ _

Penny: *smiling, Voyager on her shoulder* I made a friend! I made a friend!

Ironwood: ... *Sigh* Winter-

Winter: *reading through her family's grimoire* Sir, i'm trying to find an explanation as well, this doesn't make any sense at all!

_ _ _

Merlot: *working on a beowolf* Dear, could you pass me the screwdriver?

Abigail Williams: *extending a tentacle from the void, picking the screw driver up and giving it to the mad scientist*

Merlot: *pat her head* Thank you.

AW: *smile*

_ _ _

???: *sigh* Aw, there is still no Ruler... *Chuckle* Maybe i should derail more summoning? *Smile* This world is still full of mystery after all, it's even funnier than earth!

[elsa-fogen]

If Rosie was an angel, she'd just bring it up in a passing comment to Alastor during one of their hangouts, and he'd be left with absolutely 0 context, explanation, or resolution to it.

And I don't know which is funnier; if he confronts her and she's just like "yeah, lol", she keeps dodging accidentally so he can't confront, or he does confront and she gaslits him by denying it and then proceeds to keep making comments about it while continuing to deny making said comments on being an angel.

FUNNIER IF ALASTOR KNOWS AND IS TOTALLY CHILL ABOUT IT AND ROSIE DOESN'T KNOW THAT HE KNOWS, AND IS WORRIED THAT HE WOULD BE UPSET JUST LIKE CHARLIE

[winnie-wine]

Minish cap thoughts part 6

and then im going to bed lmao

In the cavern you fight gleerok in, there's carvings of it on the back walls

When you use a treestump portal, Link bounces off of some mushrooms. When you use a rock portal, he bounces on these gems, which don't look that comfortable to land on.

When he uses a giant pot, though, he bounces on clovers! All the things within the minish portals are green, I've noticed. Interesting. I also noticed some strange things about the sanctuary.

Image: Left: Melari's saying "The sanctuary is a strange realm, trapped between two worlds." Right: Melari saying "IT is the bridge between the Minish world and the human world." Melari describes the sanctuary as a an in-between type of realm, which is interesting because in the four swords games, it's not really an in between realm, it's just like. A courtyard in the castle, that they can walk into. But when the door to the minish realm is closed, can you still access it?

I also had a moment where I was like "WAIT! It's not the FOUR SWORD sanctuary yet? So why?" and checking the game's script, yeah it's not. It's the elemental sanctuary, or rather just 'the sanctuary.'

Image: Dialogue from Ezlo saying "Nobody in the castle seems able to see it but you and me..."

Maybe????????

Idk. iirc, this room that Link is in is the last room in the last cutscene, right before Ezlo closes the gate, meaning THIS is as far as a hylian can go. So how is the sanctuary accessible later in the timeline?

Sidenote: This is in the fucking BASEMENT of Hyrule castle. How the FUCK is there grass. And the sanctuary where the sword is in the four swords games, IS OUTSIDE. in the time after the events of the swords forging, was the castle above razed somehow and the royal family moved to a different castle and the capital followed them, leaving the sanctuary exposed? The sanctuary is implied to be sealed off, therefore the sword within it, until the next time the minish realm is accessible, so how did it move to a place where the future zeldas and links can access it? Or is every four sword game ever set on a 100 year interval where it comes back into this realm?

LU interjection: Four is every four sword game Link, so there's two possible explanations. Maybe since the sanctuary is the bridge, they can access the bridge still, but not the minish realm that the bridge leads to. This would imply that both sides can meet on the bridge, so yay! Four gets to catch up with Ezlo. The other possibility is that he forged the Four Sword, which lets be real is a sword that instantly drives you mad even without the headcanon that Four is a Pacific rim Drifting style four way group project, even just reconciling an adventure's worth of four sets of memories would be. Not great. So, since LU involves time travel, perhaps the goddesses saw what the sword does and were like "That's an effective solution. Not. Not a great one. But effective" and decided to inflict that on literally nobody else, so everytime the four sword is needed, they time travel the same fucking guy to draw it. So then to be even funnier, sometime after MC, FS, and FSA, maybe before or after LU, he is drawn to before his hyrule's history to forge/wield the picori blade. Bc let's be real. Hero of Man? Who the fuck is that guy?

Also, "the way between the minish and hylians closes" is... really interesting considering minish like. Live in tangible locations in Hyrule. Is there a minish realm and those guys are immigrants to our world? Is it that kids can no longer see them bc they occupy the same location but exist on another level of reality? idk.

Image: Dog talking to Link

Minish Link can talk to animals. So he CAN communicate with cats, but in this game, they're just assholes. I know people are like "all cats are assholes" but i have two, both of whom are absolute lap cats, and one of whom runs to hide in specifically MY bed when she's scared, so i disagree.

Image: symbol on the ground looks like a purple six-slice hexagon pizza I don't have any particular thoughts about this panel, just that purple was an odd choice that sticks out a LOT in the otherwise green/blue color palette, and that this is a SIX figured symbol, which. I guess it's not the FOUR sword sanctuary yet, is it? So there's no reason for it to be four. Might be symbolism from the war the Hero of Men fought with the picori blade in, in the prologue.

[ghulah]

Papa Emeritus, Terzo and the weight of the Mitre.

Due to popular demand, here is my Terzo analysis. It has been significantly cut down(if you do want the uncut analysis, here) because most of it was bullet points and unhinged notes I made. To be completely transparent, this was inspired by @cityofmeliora's own Terzo analysis post as well as several other analyses which I will be linking (also some headcanon stuff the wifecule had cooked up together lol).

These are all the posts (1 2 3 4 5 ) I used as resources and this compilation of Ghost interviews, as well as the Metal Myths part 2, because that's sort of required viewing at this point, isn't it?

I'll be splitting this analysis up into sections, first are brief descriptions and explanations of my understanding of the different aspects of Terzo - as Papa, as a Cardinal and as himself.

As for my sources, I won't be inserting the direct quotes here(because this post would be the longest ever) and they are all available in the aforementioned links.

Anyway, onwards, Ghesties!

First of all, What is Papa?

This is in reference to Papa, the entity, the image - not the person. Papa is a character, he's a mask, he's a façade. He is an image and an idea and the face of the Clergy. He is everything and he is above all yet he is not. According to mister Ghost-man himself, he is a stereotype, he is someone you know from somewhere and often than not he's old, charismatic, maybe a little bit bitter. He is sort of nebulous, he is a concept.

All whom take up the mantle, the Mitre, live up to this to a certain degree, it's part of the job! It also might be part of the bloodline, but y'know.

In that case, who is Papa Emeritus III?

The character of Papa III, the performer, the leader, the one to show us the way. Papa III is the face of the Ministry, he is a showman, a diva who is perfect for the role of the Satanic Pope who is not only theatrical, but also charismatic and fun and ambitious! He is artistic and outspoken. He knows what he's doing, he loves having a good time - drinks, partying, sex! He encourages it, as long as everyone is safe. He wants to bring about a new age, something to thrive. He will lead us all to damnation!

Papa III cares for his people, he makes sure they are safe and sound even in the midst of the chaos of the Rituals. He is, after all, the messenger that leads the audience through the hero's journey - a guide.

Cardinal Terzo

Let me be clear, this is all derived from Bishop Necropolitus Cracoviensis (who is representative of the album artist Zbigniew Biela) testimonial on Terzo when they were buddies back in Poland.

Cardinal Terzo was a slutty slutty, party man with a revolution in mind. He actually had a lot of visions and ideas to keep the Ministry going and modernizing it. He seemed super, well, locked in. He also likes Futurism, which aligns with his Art Deco and German Expressionism in his box of early 20th century art movements. He saw a future and he wanted to bring it to life, he held the same sins as his brother, Vice, Lust, Greed - but he had Ambition (credit to user cityofmeliora for this epiphany). That's what set it all off. Cardinal Terzo had that joie de vivre.

But who is Terzo?

Terzo Emeritus is a man of many pleasures - it's just those pleasures don't often involve people. He likes early 20th century fashion, he likes early 20th century art movements, he likes theater, he participates in it. He does have a pleasant personality, perfectly charming and joyful and teasing - but, he's not 'on' all the time. Or rather, he might not genuinely feel that way unless something or someone actually interests him. He might not be as slutty as everyone thinks he is. He moves like a fucking cryptid when he isn't performing, which is even funnier considering how open he seems to act. He wanted to do so much as Papa, he cared a lot. He had so many ideas, he wanted to take care of his flock and wanted to spread his ideas and cement the Ministry as a real power by opposing all those mindsets that keep holding society back. He was a revolutionary taken out too soon for another agenda at play, which is his true tragedy.

If anything, his charming Papa persona is what draws people in - but it's untouchable, because it's an idea, a face he puts on. Terzo is most likely the mellow, a toned down version of that face. Secondo influenced him, not enough for him to be exactly like him, though, so.

On a very real level - he's sort of like that 'when your circle small but y'all are crazy' meme. He has only a few people who are truly close to him and know what he wants and who he is while everyone else is on the outside looking in. He seems to keep people at bay, even the ones he approaches first. It's the people who either stick around and play along long enough to catch all his little ticks or the ones who saw through it all in the first place who get close to him.

That self hatred and hatred of everyone came a little later, when everything started to not fit into place anymore. He had restrictions on him, he couldn't bring his vision to life - he began to resent that idea. He knew that he was expendable, it was inevitable that he would be gone soon. He was still Papa, he cared, he wanted better for the Ministry. But it was, to a point, all for nothing if he was going to be stifled.

Ambition and hubris being his downfall is just a repetition of every Greek Tragedy we've been told. And much like the Bringer of Light, Terzo was brought down to Hell. Thanks Sister Imperator.

Sorry if some of this sounds a bit silly, it is quite self indulgent and made when I was sleep deprived. But also, I love character analysis and I love Ghost so!

Bonus tidbit: All that talk of separate travel made me think that Terzo might like sightseeing as a fun headcanon. So in my mind he might have a film camera stashed somewhere to take with him. It fits with the idea that he is quite a recluse and takes time to himself, he doesn't need to socialize to go out and see things and take pictures. Of course this is also extrapolated from his nerdy film and art interests. (this part was inspired by a convo with @3hroo)

[meggannn]

every so often i get a little worried that taskmaster might be running out of steam or the shine isn't as bright as it used to be, and i admit i was a little worried about this one, idk why, maybe just all the excitement over ~AMERICAN STAR!! JASON MANTZOUKAS!!!~ joining made me worry that they were emphasizing jason over the others, or relying on him to bring the wackiness and the others wouldn't be as weird or silly? but anyway all those doubts were unfounded because i don't think i've laughed this hard at a first taskmaster episode since maybe the watermelon smash in series 1. yes jason was unexpected at times but the entire sequence of fatiha's attempt to "do something cool, then do it again in reverse" was what broke me. like there were tears in my eyes and this is just the first episode, so i'm relieved and convinced this season series will be great

playing the backwards clip first was way funnier because it was still so fucking baffling to EVERYONE. alex building it up makes us think it's gonna be mysterious and interesting while he KNOWS it's gonna infuriate greg because greg hates it when a comedian looks like they're Confidently Doing The Task Completely Wrong

the slow, intense horn music as we zoom in on fatiha and alex slowly picking up candy one by one

"what the FUCK is going on?"

"do you want to see it going forward?" "well i need to because now i JUST feel angry!"

fatiha bragging about how good she is at the "guess which sweet is in my mouth" game and then needing eight guesses to win

the juxtaposition of the dramatic horn music during the backwards clip against the ~funky upbeat silly music in the forwards clip

"if we were holding hands i would've got on the first one"

greg being NO less confused after the explanation about why she thinks this is "cool" than he was before it

fatiha insisting this is a "known game" just because she and her friend "play it all the time"

"do you know why it didn't work? because muppet features over there had glasses on!"

"why didn't you tell me to take the glasses off?" "well because--" (someone in the audience laughs) "SHU'UP!!!"

"if he doesn't bring [the sweets], do you call the police on him?"

everyone on this show is so good at what they do. after 19 series alex knows that greg and the cast will give a better reaction to the second clip first, it surprises fatiha too and she now has to defend it against greg's rising anger/confusion which always makes for funny arguments, and the producers also just trust the comedians can spin a bizarre, out-of-context clip into good banter regardless.

things are so bleak in the world these days that i'm grateful i can get regular doses of a well-made show that's just about having a good time and wanting the audience to have a good time. thank you LAH, thank you lord greg davies, thank you taskmaster

[casual-praxis]

It's Praxis rambling about Red hours

My two favorite interpretations of why Red acts the way he does in the manga kinda go hand in hand, but I do want to explore both at some point, even if neither are quite how I hc Red to be.

Interpretation 1: Red is simply faking his emotions. The way he bounces between moods so quickly without acknowledging his change could potentially be explained away as him exaggerating the reaction he thinks he’s supposed to be having.

He’s Link’s innocence (and optimism?) after all, this might be why he doesn’t always take situations seriously (hence, the Vaati fight). He’s kinda just playing along.

It’s for this reason that I do think his tears are definitely fake some of the time, but it’s interesting to think the ability to cry on command might pair with Link’s lying/acting capabilities (which went to Vio). Red’s just missing the ability to act alongside his emotional outburst, which is why they feel so jarring sometimes.

I know some variations of this hc include Red doing it for manipulation reasons, which he could be, but if so, he’s doing it really badly. Like, at no point does his crying/excitement/what-have-you ever get one of the others to do what he wants lmao.

I think the closest we get to Red manipulating in this case would be in the ice cave where he tells Blue, "I never thought I'd see you again. I thought I was alone forever," while crying in a much more subdued way. To which Blue seems to respond..positively? I've always interpreted Blue's expression in that panel to be soft, but I don't know exactly what emotion it is, other than maybe the semi-gentle realization that Red cares about him? (It could also just be the realization that Red is alone and that means they're all still split up, since Blue's attitude shift doesn't actually occur until after the fairy tells him to chill.)

Interpretation 2: Red is aware of the audience, and acts according to how they might expect him to. This idea comes mostly from how Red is the only one to directly break the fourth wall by acknowledging the readers, and how they expect something of him, but would be an interesting way to explain his behavior.

In the first chapter, Red acts the most different from how he does later in the manga, as their personalities really haven't been established yet outside of vague dialogue and expressions (plus Green and Blue squabbling). At no point does he remark on being scared or even really show signs of it (outside seeming a little panicked about releasing Vaati again), and he willingly attacks the enemy without prompting, as one would expect a Link to do.

It's not until they get their names and assigned personality traits does Red really start acting as the comedy relief, as the audience probably expects of him. He almost seems to lean into it on several occasions.

I like to think this is why his reaction to Shadow's death is so muted. He either didn't know how he was supposed to be reacting, or just assumed he was out of frame so he was idling (which is the funnier explanation).

Wouldn't it be wild if he knew the actual manga's theme was personality, and that's why his is so all over the place?

[eri-pl]

A crack origin for Hobbits

Warnings: high levels of crack, Elf-Dwarf relationship, mentions of Sauron.

So my husband asked me how strictly canon is "Hobbits are just Men, but short" and we talked and yes, Hobbits do have some Dwarflike traits but also some Elflike traits—

OK. so, Eregion.

I could go with Celebrimbor, but Maglor is funnier. And he is the only Elf in the Silm said to be married but not any details about it. And Silm was redacted later, I can very well see Maglor marrying someone really inaproppriate in SA and Elrond noting it down as "Maglor was wed."

So, Maglor is taking a break from beach hermiting and visiting his nephew (I don't care the book says "he never came again among the elves" — Elrond wrote the book and I imagine they were on speaking terms and more close than resentful. also, he never officially did, but I imagine it wasn't a big secret in Eregion that he's Maglor. Yes, it freaked the jewelsmiths out.)

And Celebrimbor gets a mysterious visitor and Maglor doesn't like him (and when Maglor agrees with Galadriel, it is something), and Sauron is quite terrified that his plan will go into pieces. So he decides to get rid of Maglor, Maglor's credibility and some of the meddling Dwarves.

Now, in the Legendarium love potions etc don't exist, so I would assume more like "Sauron made them get lost in some mines and confused them with magics, and Maglor falling in love with the Dwarf was a side-effect". Anyway, Maglor falls in love with a Dwarven lady, and she with him (other Dwarves are fine, maybe even survive too). And it's Sauron's fault.

Anyway they marry, and even after their minds clear, they are still in love, because they did build ahealthy-ish relationship in the meantime (let Maglor have some happiness), and, well, they have kids. Who are weird and small and less hairy than Dwarves.

Depending on your preference, it may end with Maglor running away to the beach (especially after learning what happenned to Celebrimbor), or with his wife dying peacefully of old age in his arms or whatever. Or less peacefully but at least they both fight in the war against Sauron.

Anyway the kids are there, and they have marry some Dwarves and their kids are still very similar to the strange mix, and don't look like normal Dwarves, so after a few generations they are their own tribe and leave.

And yes: they are the hobbits.

Cons of this theory:

More tragedy for Maglor and other Elves would laugh at him

Elf-Dwarf relationships.

Hobbits are descendants of a doomed kinslayer (but does that matter?)

Where do Hobbits even go for afterlife??? (New Zealand)

Pros:

More tragedy for Maglor and now we know why he doesn't want to return

Hobbits have an explanation. Also, Hobbits being musical, hard to corrupt, and having a knack for finding treasure has an explanation

Sauron's evil schemming is an important factor in the emergence of the race which later will lead to his downfall. And that's just too good. I almost can ignore the Elf-Dwarf thing for this.

It gives Námo a headache? (I like him, but I also like to make him confused and that's hard XD )

[margoteve]

Rest of volume 1 cool translation stuff between English and Polish Kaiju no. 8 versions.

Disclaimer: I am using a "free" resource to compare the texts. Idk what changes the official English translation did in the meantime bc I am aware that they usually fix English release couple hours later.

Here we go:

Kafka as usual being way too chill about this as a front lmao.

In English he just promises to hide his kaiju side well with Reno yelling "You're not convincing anyone!"

Polish they go: K: I am a master of camouflage!" R: Not really!!

"Oh, thank god! If I'd been the only one to fail, I would've lost face as his senpai."

In Polish we don't have a concept of a "senapi" and English "Sir" doesn't work here either. English translator just stuck to using Japanese senpai in this monologue.

Kafka here talks about himself and failing as an older colleuge who has responsibility for Reno. Polish translator did something else.

Kafka in Polish version in his monologue addresses Reno directly (even if Reno has already left here). He says "maybe that's for the best. If you failed because of me, what kind of buddy/friend would I be..."

It kinda shows better imo how much Kafka thinks of others well being ahead of his own.

This next one had me giggle.

So Kafka here. English went "well, there's no point in getting scared. Let's get going" Polish went "Easy, peasy. Let's go" but it makes me giggle bc literally it says "Chill Watermelon" xD "luzik" being colloquial for relax, Easy, chill. And watermelon "arbuzik" being added just for rhyming lol. And ofc on the side we have a bubble from Kikoru.

She went from this panel and saying "hey, Mr. Older" to "yes, you old fart!". Next page she says: "Hearing issues already or haven't you washed them?" In English she says: that's right, I am talking to you, old man. Notice me already, you moron." Wow, rude.

Why are the kids so savage in this manga xD

Kafka then launches in that hilarious rant about not being old. In Polish he says "I could have been your brother!!"

Kikoru: so one foot in the grave.

Reno why aren't you helping xD "what can I say..." lol

Him using the "older brother" here ties pretty well with later rant after the lucky number one how "older brother will teach you manners" that is also in English version xD

Bonus:

Might be my favourite kafka panel idk why.

And I have no explanation or ability to explain why this version below makes it so much funnier in Polish than in English, just Kafka slightly switching to a mockery of a old "respectful Polish" (kinda: "Young lady cares to reconsider?!") xD and I appreciate the fun with fonts to deliver the punchline

Next one I think the English translation actually did better (both anime and manga in each language (Japanese or English) did something hilariously like Kafka and Reno syncing up their one braincell for the line delivery. Polish just split them.

There's no other way for me to retranslate it lol. They just say two of the many different ways to be shocked and say "what?!"

Next chapter

Here Kafka says "what about monster carcass disposal? Ichikawa, you promised!" XD which makes me laugh bc he sounds like disappointed kid when he didn’t go to Disneyland lmao xD English sounds more aggressive lol "wasn't it supposed to be monster disposal!! Huh, Mr. Ichikawaaaaa!!"

And ofc here comes Hoshina xD

Polish he goes: they haven't played that yet!!

English: "huuuuh? Is he serious?! He got a 0!"

Then after Kafka asks for a moment to try and get some combat power, Hoshina, in lose translation goes "don't try to scare me or you will... (small text: you won't get more power anyway)" but the saying basically if you know it goes like "nie strasz, nie strasz, bo się zesrasz" (bc you will crap yourself) which I think is amazing use of colloquial saying lmao and goes well with original and English which is more direct lol "you're gonna crap your pants! Even if you push yourself it won't change!"

Then he says something like "fella is rocking this! I like him already! Too bad he will fail." Which is way too definitive XD oh hoshina... In English he says "what's wrong with that old man! He is too funny. I am too entertained by him. Though he will probably fail."

Kafka during exam confident as usual

"Let’s go! Follow me Ichikawa!"

Reno: I THINK NOT!!

English: We're heading out too! Make sure to stay close Ichikawa!

Reno: I should be saying that to you!

Also Polish manga specific. Reno always calls to Kafka by his first name. English goes for Hibino. This was also why I decided to write Polichinelle's secret lol

Another one I think is funnier in Polish.

"Are you kidding me?! Was she in a rush to a tea with English queen or something?!"

In Polish "making eggs" means 'are you serious?' Or 'or are you kidding me?'

English version has simply: ...Are you serious? That little brat finished them too quickly!!

This is all for volume 1!

@kafkahibinomybeloved @quinowskie since you two were interested lol.

[jynxedshapeshifter]

Decided to look up the requirements to get into law school because I was curious since Edgeworth started as a prosecutor when he was 20, and in America you need to get a bachelor's degree then do 3 years of law school, meaning it takes 7 years in America to become a lawyer (this is the same for Germany, if you don't know why I brought this up... idk what to tell you).

So if we go off this:

Miles would've had to start going to school to become a prosecutor when he was 13

Phoenix would've had to start going to school to become a lawyer at 17 (which we know isn't the case but we're disregarding that for now. Also this is entirely possible in the US but not common)

Franziska would've had to start going to school for law when she was 5

Now the obvious explanation is "as long as someone in the Ace Attorney universe takes some law classes and can pass the bar exam, they can become a lawyer" because that's essentially what Phoenix did, but I think the funnier option is that Miles started his education for law at 13, Phoenix started at 16, and Franziska started at 5 both to spite Miles (who had likely started whatever bachelor's degree he decided to go for at that point) and because she was just that determined to become a prosecutor (and I'm sure being a law prodigy helped).