#I got an A for putting Elon musk in hell

[napkineater]

Ya know what maybe life isn’t that bad.

I’m drawing Donald trump pregnant for a school assignment right now, and I banished Elon Musk to hell for another one . Things can get better.

[timeisacephalopod]

I know I made a post the other day about making fun of peoples names being rude and people need to shut the fuck up but I found out my sister is naming her kid Texas Pete and we're not even American, it is EMBARRASSING to name your kid after a state of a country you don't even live in and the Pete is taken from the idiot father who will NOT like when I ask her in front of him why the hell she chose to name her kid after him when ZERO of her children are named after HER and also you're gunna name your kid after the guy who couldn't even pull his cock out on time? THATS what you're going to saddle this kid with?

I wish she'd gotten an abortion 🙄🙄🙄🙄

[sandcheeze13]

update:

i would like to apologize if i have been quiet for some time when it came to posts like these. however, i'm back for a big update. hopefully, everything's explained clearly.

1. update on the big, "beautiful" bill

i should've shared this when it came out, but there's a recess going on until june 2nd, 2025.

here's the links provided in the screenshot:

so for now, let's focus on the senate, and let them know we don't appreciate this bill.

other than that, for those not in the know, this bill, currently, is a huge thing when it comes to project 2025. a section of this bill will gut medicaid for everyone, but the millionaires. there's quite a lot more about this, but to give the basic summary breakdown: it's all bad, bad, bad.

again, call your senators, and tell them to not pass this bill. there's quite recess ends on june 2nd, 2025.

2. elon needs to take a shower

for those confused, this is about elon musk. yesterday, this guy finally resigned, but doge still remains (unfortunately).

not much to say about this one, other than just: fuck you. :) <3

3. tariffs that mr. trump wants to deploy

to put it shortly, there was a short point in time where trump's tariffs was shut down in court, but was then reinstated immediately afterward... just for them to invalidate the tariffs once again. i don't know what's the hell happened over there, but it's good that people are seeing all this for what it really is.

unfortunately, it's a bit up in the air on whether, or not, if it'll change sooner, or later. we'll just have to see if it does.

4. everything sucks in texas

unlike the bill that was made to ban abortion pills (which is now died currently), the other bills that recently got passed, and signed into state law didn't. :/

1. the anime ban was passed

2. this other bill now makes schools in texas recite the ten commandments. currently, the aclu is suing this bill. hope it goes well.

also, there's a bill that's supposed to outlaw ai-generated cp on the internet. unfortunately, it's vague enough to where it could potentially frame a lot of things (queer content, for example) to be seen as pornography (despite it not being the case).

do know that this is the same guy that also advanced a bill to block swear words. even going as far as to ban public libraries to not buy books with language they don't like. again, they're talking about swear words.

texas is just another country at this point. i'm sorry for any texans in this country currently.

5. for those protesting

for the whole week (may 31st, to june 6th), there will be a huge sum of protests that you might be able to join in to further spread the cause.

however, if you are considering going, please stay safe. make sure to bring your pepper spray, and sunglasses. be peaceful.

6. "it wouldn't matter if we go through with gutting medicaid, cuz we'll all die anyway..." 🤦‍♀️

i can't begin to describe this. just look at the following links for yourselves.

no words, honestly. fuck you, joni ernst.

7. another kosa update

for those that don't know, kosa is an abbreviation for the "kids online safety act." if your first reaction is thinking that this bill is good, then i got some bad news for you.

unfortunately, much like the rest of the bills mentioned today, it's extremely vague, and can mean anyone that's supposed to "attack" kids, or something like that. also, this bill was made by the heritage foundation, knows for being extremely homophobic/transphobic. they are in arms with trump, only helping with project 2025.

i'm sure that this current recess is the reason why no one in the government has been talking about this for a while. however, now's our chance to stop this bill from passing.

i unfortunately don't know when they'll vote for this, but until then, never stop calling.

that's about it for now. things might be quite a lot right now, but don't give up. if all of this distresses you, then take a break, before you act. don't panic, and organize.

there's still hope, even if it doesn't feel like it sometimes.

thank you for sticking around. stay safe.

[lucytara]

if i ever happened to meet jeff bezos or elon musk or any of these loser ass bitches...i would put on the most serious, chilling face i could muster and whisper a random future date in their ear. i would say all of my life things have been foretold to me, and this is the day you are going to die.

it would not be true obviously but it's my dream to pschologically torture a billionaire. he'd brush me off but he'd remember. and every day it got closer and closer he'd try to convince himself it was bullshit but he's starting to get nervous. and agitated. he tells himself it's not real but he can't stop thinking about it. how would i know something like that? but i was so specific. i was so mysterious. every day is hell. he starts doing more drugs and drinking. he thinks if he's going to die he might as well truly live the life he's been making all that money for by extorting his workers. he starts pissing it away. he starts acting out of pocket and wild, too publicly for his company's board to rectify. the stakeholders vote him out unanimously. suddenly he has no income. he blew most of his money on partying and grandiosity and showboating. his wife leaves him. he keeps hooking up with people from dating apps who steal from his house. he feels empty. he keeps trying to tell people he's going to die anyway.

the day comes. nothing happens. he has ruined his life because of me. he kills himself. and we all live happily ever after🥰

[muddypolitics]

(via An Open Letter to the Majority of Congressional Democrats)

1. Understand that Republicans are no longer your colleagues, and they sure as hell aren’t your friends.

2. Stop making it easy and fun for fascists to take over the government.

I don’t care if you are in the minority. There is plenty that you can do to make this a monumental and very public pain in the ass for them. Every inch, every hour, and every tiny procedural technicality is now of vital importance. Nothing, nothing should be easy for them.

For one thing? Democratic Senators, someone needs to object to unanimous consent every single time. Every. Single. Time. Make them take the hours it takes to override your objection.

And hey, remember those years when the Republican minority was such a pain in the ass that they essentially got their way all the time even though they shouldn’t have? Do that! At a bare minimum, do that.

They get easy governing back when their party shows some respect for the government again. Every monstrous thing they do needs to be blocked and held up and sent back through committee. Every. Single. Time.

Yes, that means it will be tedious, long hours for you too. PUT THEM IN. The Korean legislature climbed fences to stop a coup. You can miss a few brunches. If you can’t, get the hell out and let someone who cares take the job.

3. Understand that you cannot ride this out.

Trump wants to be a dictator. Listen to Mark Milley and John Kelly when they tell you that Trump is a fascist. If you can’t do that, look at what he and his lackeys are doing as they pull the arms, legs, and wings off the government.

4. Stop playing by the rules. Stop being polite.

5. Get Elon Musk the hell out of our government.

Musk, a man who is so in thrall to his own pettines, vanity and insecurities that he hired other people to cheat and level up his video game characters now has his hands on the tax and banking information of every American who ever got a direct deposit from the United States government.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The full piece is longer, and has much more detail - this is a summary with a few highlights.

This is what we elected our government officials to do, they need to be doing it - ALL DAY EVERY DAY.

[morganbritton132]

Since Elon Musk and his Hitler youth group of programmers gutted my department, I got put on another client since all their accountants were fired. I finally looked up what government department the abbreviation stood for to see how evil they were.

And they’re fine! It’s a community outreach department that probably also got gutted half to hell.

[thesoftboiledegg]

THE REVOLUTION

I’m back, libsharts. Every year, you fall for my brilliant social experiments where I trick you into thinking that I’m gay when, in fact, I’m so hetero that I can jack to Rick and still be straight. That’s right, Tumblr: I can jack it to a MAN and it’s STILL NOT GAY. You think just anybody could do that? Hell, I can fantasize about Rick giving it to Bill Nye the Science Guy and still think that I’m straight!

But you idiots can’t. Every day, one of you gets on Tumblr and posts “Rick is gay” and the rest of you spend an hour high-fiving each other and going “So true, bestie! Rick IS gay! Suck it, dudebros!” while listening to whatever turd Lana Del Rey just shat out and crying at Whole Foods because they’re out of non-GMO raisins or whatever you freaks eat for breakfast.

But this ends today.

I’m taking matters into my own hands, just like Rick Sanchez would. Stephen Hawking and Richard Feynman are going to smile at me from heaven (or hell, whatever) as I turn Rick and Morty into the science show again. I’m going to make it so science-y that you won’t be able to comprehend it. You couldn’t handle 30 seconds on Elon Musk Twitter where we talk about engineering and technology and I retweet that picture of him shirtless on a boat over and over.

NO MORE will you Tumblrinas say that Rick is gay!!!!! NO MORE!!!!!!!

Anyway, you’re going to cry hysterically when you see this email that I sent the Adult Swim office. “Sorry” if I offend your delicate sensibilities (spoiler alert: I’m not sorry), but someone had to man up, and it’s going to be me. I really let them have it, just like Rick gives it to Bill Nye the Science Guy in my dreams when I take Ambien, and also when I don’t take Ambien. Face the facts, LIEberals!

—

Dear Adult Swim,

I’m Steve White, and it’s time for us to talk. I’m sure you know me because I follow the Rick and Morty Instagram account and comment on every picture of Rick with “it's getting hot in here 🥵🌶️🔥so take off all your clothes 👖🥼🧪”. I’ve been watching Rick and Morty since the start–OK, I started watching midway through season five, but it doesn’t matter because I understand the show better than the girlies, normies and NPCs in your audience.

You need to listen to me because I’m a REAL fan. I’m going to break us out of this simulation! And I know it’s a simulation because the real Dan Harmon would never let Rick and Morty go to shit like this. Once, it was a show for straight white tech geniuses like me. Now, it’s a woke commie pukefest that might as well end every episode with Rick saying “Oh boy, which guy will I rail next?”, putting that image in my head for the next ten hours.

But this ends today.

What the fuck is Birdrick? Who the fuck is Mr. Nimbus? Huh?? Like I don’t have enough dreams about Rick and muscular men!

Fortunately for you, I’ve got some suggestions that will bring the show back to its former glory. Read it and weep, fuckwads:

Every episode should start with a mathematical problem that the viewer has to solve before they’re allowed to watch it. I know this is hard to wrangle with cable TV, so you’ll have to pull it off the air and show it exclusively on a streaming service that also shows SpaceX liftoffs, Elon Musk interviews and episodes of Bill Nye the Science Guy. Someone can’t figure it out? Too bad! No Rick and Morty for you, dumbshit.

There should be a scene where Rick looks at the audience with a single tear rolling down his face like that Crying Indian ad from the 70s and says “My God, what has this show become? Why have the writers destroyed my intellect? I can’t do this anymore! I’m breaking free of the simulation!” He gets into a Tesla and runs over animated versions of all the writers, then sees Bird Person walking across the street and floors it. Feathers fly everywhere.

Same goes for the rest of the homos. Mr. Nimbus? Dead. The dragon? Dead. No more queers! If I wanted to see homo shit, I’d watch more gay porn.

I get a post-episode talk show called Talking Rick where I share my valuable insights. To make this work, you’ll have to send me every episode early so that I can review it ahead of time. I know that’s extra work for you guys, but I bring an intellectual, nihilistic, science-based perspective that some Tumblrina dipshit with eyeball tattoos can’t begin to fathom. I’m sure that Tesla will sponsor it, so you won’t have to pay me anything. Let’s get it on the go!

The series finale reveals that Rick is Morty from the future and Evil Morty is C-137’s original Morty. Those are my original ideas that no one’s ever had before. Jot them down, I say! Jot them down!

Each season should have one episode where Rick hosts a talk show (also called Talking Rick) where real-life scientists play animated versions of themselves and discuss scientific concepts that normies can’t even begin to understand. The first guest should, of course, be Elon Musk. In fact, he should show up in every episode. Other scientists can appear, but they must bow when they see him, never make eye contact and say “Very good, sir” whenever he asks one of them to get on the floor so that Elon can use him as a human ottoman.

Rick should have sex with eight guys at once.

HAHA ignore that last one, some Tumblrina found my laptop while I was in the Spencer’s back room taking a piss. I thought it was the bathroom, but apparently it’s not? Weird, it smells so much like urine in there. Anyway, Rick should have sex with eight guys at once.

I mean in the show, not just in general.

The other day, I heroically punted a Pickle Rick pillow like a football over a McDonald’s counter, causing mass chaos in the establishment. Some guy recorded me and uploaded the video on YouTube with the title “RICK AND MORTY FAN GOES BUCK WILD IN MCDONALDS!!!!! 🤣🤣😂😂🤯🤯😲😲” Now, whenever I’m in public, people point at me and go “Hey look, it’s the Rick and Morty freak!” I request compensation for the free marketing, thank you.

I expect you to take all these ideas into consideration and implant them in the show. I know it’s a lot to take in, but Rick and Morty needs to return to its former glory, and the only way to do that is to ream the Tumblrites into submission. Remember that song you played back in season one (the BEST season), “X is going to give it to you”? Well, X is going to give it to them. And X is Rick. He reams dudes–and by dudes, I mean hot chicks–left and right. But not them. NEVER the Tumblewads. Because in the end, Rick is saving it all for me.

Sincerely,

The Real-life Rick “Pickle Rick” Musk-Sanchez (Steve White) ��

Those cucks at Adult Swim didn’t get back to me–but little did they know, I had another ace up my sleeve. Deep down, somebody on the staff has to know that I’m right. I knew I had to make a scientific diagram that spoke to his repressed intellect. This is going to get pretty technical, so maybe avert your eyes so you don’t pop a few neurons.

STILL no response. By this point, I was getting pretty fed up, so I decided to vent in my Elon Musk Discord server. One of the guys stupidly said “Those emails were pretty gay” and I said “No they weren’t” and another guy said “All you ever do is say gay shit and leave” and I said “No I don’t” and another guy said “Dude, why is Rick bottoming in your drawing” and I said “Haha! I was fucking with all of you! It was another social experiment! I’m playing 3D chess like Elon! Why do you always fall for these? It’s a ploy to show off my intellect! While you’re ringing up boba teas and avocado body pillows at Target, I’m going to be working as Elon’s personal servant at Tesla and REFILLING JUSTIN ROILAND’S DOGGY DISH!!!!��

I got banned from the Elon Musk server again, and I think it’s for good this time. They can’t handle the truth. Adult Swim can’t. You obviously can’t. But if it takes the rest of my life, I’m going to restore Rick and Morty to its former glory. And if I die before that happens, well…at least I’ll rest easy knowing that Dan Harmon is sobbing uncontrollably at my gravesite.

Wait, what’s the official Adult Swim email address, anyway?

[unusualindigo]

Regarding your ranni post i'm curious, how is she not clever? Personally I like her but I'm interested to hear your thoughts.

Essentially, it boils down to what she shows ignorance of in-canon. Like, not knowing about Radahn holding back the stars, and therefore her destiny, when the entire Carian destiny has always lain in the stars... kinda shows me she's not that knowledgeable.

That and she calls your scheme to get into her service to look for the cursemark, which is presented to be about as subtle as a brick to the back of the head, clever. Like, she considers that clever.

And finally, her Age of Stars doesn't solve... anything, really? Godwyn's zombie plague still rages on, the Flame of Frenzy is still around, as is the Scarlet Rot and her plan is to... pull an Elon Musk and just fuck off into space?

Even the Night of the Black Knives was pretty simplistic, as she only really had to kill herself at the same time Godwyn died, which she probably had a signal spell or something for.

Like, when we come upon her, she's not really doing anything other than hiding. She's made no progress in her plans, and without us and Sellen, never would have.

It's the same problem Miquella got put through in the DLC. Both of these characters are said to be clever, and hell, the base game sets Miquella up as the smarter of the pair based on his accomplishments and invention, and it feels like the DLC made his plan nonsensical and idiotic retroactively (hence why the plot makes no sense) to prop up Ranni.

But I digress, both characters are said to be clever, but a lot of the in-game information we get, when some thought is put into it, shows them both to be not all that competent.

Ranni's flaws are just more evident to me thanks to the DLC's inconsistencies and insistence on making Miquella Marika/Griffith 2.0 without any thought to if that makes sense making Ranni seem like even more of an author's pet than she already was.

Like, I mostly hate Ranni because the game puts her on a pedestal and doesn't offer you the chance to meaningfully stop her or turn on her without refusing to engage with her questline properly.

If there was a Ranni boss fight option, or an ending option to betray her somehow, I wouldn't be nearly as critical of her.

But neither of those exist, so here we are.

[agirlwithglam]

Hi!! I hope I'm not disturbing you but I wanted to ask how do I work hard. Because when I was younger I got really good marks without trying and now the subjects are hard and social media is distracting but I can't seem to delete it. This is also why my grades are even low then before and I'm really afraid to disappoint my parents (being the eldest daughter doesn't help). So can you please just give me some pointers on how can I actually study and not just cry because I don't know how to. Have a great day!! <3

literally omg. is this past me asking me a question?? like actually u have no idea how much i relate and understand this. the "gifted child" who always got good grades without needing to study now finds things more difficult. i know many people have said this, but i actually have been through this not too long ago. i hope these tips help <3

how to work hard + actually study (realistic)

forget hard work. at least do the work! (its so funny because i literally had a post about this all ready in my drafts about to get posted, so i'll keep this short and link the post.) stop focussing on doing hard work like studying 24/7. just put in the basic necessities you need to get a better grade. hard work post link

use the disappointment and embarrassment as fuel. (basically find a very strong why) (mini story-ish thing coming up, skip to the blue text for the actual advice) i still remember the day i got such a bad score on my math and science test, i was FURIOUS at myself and i cried about it! telling it to my parents was one of the hardest things i had to do and feeling their disappointment was even worse. but that became my turning point. i was so ashamed of myself and i resented me so much that i basically just told myself "i dont freaking care what you feel *with distaste*. you brought this on yourself you failure" (a bit very harsh, yes i know) but the way i studied that week- i studied more than i every had before! also doing this doesnt really lower my self esteem a whole lot, but if it does with you, please be gentle with yourself. : so what i'm trying to say it; use that feeling of shame and disapointment as a fuel, a motivation. The big “why”.

ALTER EGOOOSSSS. this helps SOOOO MUCH its so underrated. embody the energy of your fav people who are the academic inspiration you wanna be! example: rory gilmore, paris geller, elle woods, blair waldorf, etc etc! not only is this so helpful but it also makes it so much more fun and easier!!

parent yourself. i used to tell myself to do stuff like "go study now!" or "get up lazy-butt" but in my mind. but what if you tried to say those stuff out loud to yourself? it just creates a whole new level of real. So start telling yourself to do stuff out loud.

honestly just start. stop letting yourself think about how "uncomfortable" and how "annoying" it will be. All you need to know is that you need to get it done. Right? Ok. So now what’s the next smallest step you can take to getting to do the unwanted task? It may be taking out your material, opening your book, etc.

( !! tough love, but very important rant coming up)

You privileged brat. Your parents gave up EVERYTHING so you could have the education that you are having. They worked so so hard for YOU. So YOU can have the life you want. And all for what? Just for you to throw it all away and say “oh im lazy”. HELL NAH.

And also, do you realise how fortunate you are to be even living in such a time/ era where you have access to basically EVERYTHING? You’re stuck on something? You could easily search it up!! And whats more is that you can further learn. You can search up and find out more about the thing that you’re studying, become the smartest person in your class, get so ahead in life. I hope you realise that if you do use all the resources and materials and help that’s been given to you, just imagine how far you could go! Further than Albert Einstine, Elon Musk, etc. you may be like “what! No that’s gonna be too hard!” But did they have the tools that you have right at your hand? No! They made it all the way with just simple stuff and having to work super hard. But you live in a time where you can do TWICE as much without working as hard!!

And one more thing, QUIT WHINING. “Oh school is so hard!” “Oh school is so boring!” Like whattt???? You are so FORTUNATE and LUCKY to be even getting access to such education! MILLIONS of kids out there would kill to be able to learn what you are so easily dismissing right now. So TAKE ADVANTAGE OF WHAT YOU HAVE. Put your ALL, your very BEST into studying and getting good grades because THAT is whats gonna take you so SO far in life.

Thank you very much, *mic drop*. (i still ly pookie)

dealing with social media:

put the screen time widget on your phone home screen. i did this, and i became so embarrassed by the amount of screen time i had in one day (*cough* 12 hours *cough*) that i made certain to stop using it as much.

screen time limits. this may or may not help you, bc i know that when i knew the screen time password, it didn't do a lot of help but when someone else did (like parents or someone you trust), then it definitely worked. this is probably only best if you're a child around under 14 ish bc thats around the age when most parents put screen time limits + after that age you're gonna be a lot more independent.

more *extremely* helpful resourses:

tips to decrease your phone screen time by @imbusystudying

how to reduce your screen time in the digital age? (an article)

studying tips from a straight-A student by @universalitgirlsblog2

how to study like paris geller by @4theitgirls

more blogs i recomend:

@elonomhblog @mindfulstudyquest @study-diaries @thatbitchery

xoxo, vanilla

[marzipanlvr]

Please yesss 👀👀 post about his books you found and your thoughts

hello anon!! hope ur good!! OMG HELLO? HELP ME ARE U GIVING ME A WARRANT TO YAP... here's the real thing i don't want to disclose my age but im a teenager and i havent read all the books he's read (it's impending doom laying upon me ALWAYS :(( feeling so behind rn) but ill talk about the books ive read that he's read!!

sapiens - also part of luigi's favorite's list!! this is by yuval noah harrari my GOAT guys.. i cannot STOP yapping about this book!! if u guys dont like reading very bulky texts and js want to get the main point there's a graphic history version and it's ive read it spits out points very concisely !! so either book it's all good :)) it's veryvery interesting it talks about evolution and why humans act like humans!! i love history and yuval noah harrari made me love evolution so much!! this book was rated a 5/5 by luigi (deserved hehe) girl honestly anyone ANYONE who gave sapiens a chance would also rate it 5/5 or a high rating it's a timeless lighthouse on the fog of defining humanity so since luigi is a very left brained man this deff fits his character all in all (oh js wanted to mention he rated sapiens: graphic history a 4/5)

harry potter - he rated 1st-3rd book a 5/5 def deserved !! ofc it's a classic ive had my harry potter phase die out and live again MULTIPLE times harry potter is probably apart of many people including luigi's first books ive read and loved list

the little prince - 4/5 (by luigi) it still freaks me out that he read the same books as a lot of us, watched the same movies as a lot of us, and that he's js a regular human but his actions moved society to forward him to transcend into the status of being "it is hell on earth to be heavenly - ts", almost even myth-like anyways back to the little prince it's rlly an AMAZING book !! it's a short read and it speaks so much about taking the truth of growing up and adulthood and making it alien through a child's eyes def made a lot of people relive an innocence that once was

animal farm - he rated this a 4/5 and i agree with that i read animal farm for school and it is a classic, so typical and so true i reference it all the time for me i gave it a 3/5 on my goodreads too because halfway through the book PLSDONT FLAME ME FOR THIS i kind ofalready picked up what george orwell was putting down - especially for the ending it was a bit obvious for me PLS DONT GET MAD IM SORRY anw it talks about the oppressive effects of a dictatorship (specifically communist government) and basically talks about how EVERYTHING gets political and even a revolution that looks toward freedom can get blurred when u lose ur ideals that's the main message i got out of this!!

the art of war - i havent finished the art of war yet..sigh.. he rated this a 4/5 and it's fitting since from the reviews ive read it's very strategic and calculated js like luigi so the rating matches with his personality

so sorry that's all the book titles that ive recognized in his roster.. I FEEL SO BEHIND but on a serious note i feel rlly inspired to read more books!! school has been so draining :(( and ive been lacking time to read im trying to light the spark again this year

i saw a lot of philosophy and psychology and self help books (including health about back pain) he's so avid about self-improvement it's stunning

i remember in luigi's reddit too he was very staunch about the fact that when he wanted to bring a book in his backpack it had to be physical and not kindle and he enumerated like 4 points to justify it it was so cute and made me so happy coz i shared the same views as him

oh and i also wanted to mention that luigi is an absolute culture absorber !! so inspiring he reads books about the places he goes to eg. hawaii and based on pictures he's a very openminded social butterfly hehe

luigi is a walking pursuit of wonder. like he read elon musk and the unabomber for specific reasons and i think it's because he was curious to find out the mindset of these people that yk he doesnt exactly idolize to euphonize it at least.. so if we wanna find out what type of person luigi is i think itd be good to judge that based on the books he's read def since it's what he's been exposed to/chosen to be exposed to so if anyone who has read the same books as he has u can always anon message me/make a post hehe i find his mind so interesting!!

i want to say thank you to the anon who send me this message!! i love books SO MUCHRWEDHBS and i had NO ONE to talk to about the books he's read. the minute i stalked his goodreads my jaw kept on dropping till it reached the floorwax. i was so happy that he read the same books as me and i was so excited an intrigued. that marked my crush on luigi i guess.. free nerds love nerds !! thank you anon i love u and ur sweet soul :(( please stay safe anon hoping rainbows ALWAYS find ur way!! <33 u sweetiepie

[banjo15]

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY

ELON MUSK

VS

THE IRS

Hola fellas! I’m the irs- hold on this is bullshit you got IBS? I do taxes and shit, cause I’m the best. Nothing is safe no matter how you invest cause I investigated you life a little, the way you treat your children should make you a criminal. Taking a human shield whenever you walk through a minefield, what’s the deal? And how come you steal billions of dollars, yet can’t end world hunger? 13 women become single mothers cause of your weird pro-natalism fetish, to be honest man I don’t fucking get it. You’re a horrible dad, shits bad so sad! Your children hate you, the dad they never had. Seriously, just leave at that point you needa call a cab, the way you and Donald trump interact? I think you’re a…. Facist.

Hold on what’s this talk about me stealing shit? Every cent of my wealth was do to what I did. I make rockets, cars, and I profit off it. Multi-billion dollar businesses make my profits skyrocket. Richer than Mansa musa or John Rockefeller, you think you can beat me? You’re worse than Hellen Keller. Cause I like free speech, except for those damn liberals. They’re criminals, they hate America, it’s probably something subliminal. They probably hate me cause they can’t be civil. So what about my kids? I fucking hate my son, she ain’t my daughter that’s no fun. You think just because she takes hormones and takes a surgery and goes home? She’s a lady now? What the heck, she still got an Adam’s apple in her neck. So what if I’m a facist? I have liberals to deck. Cause I was on top of the world untill someone mentioned pronouns, I think it’s profound how this shit sounds. And me and Donald trump? Historians say we were gay, but so what? We slay,

Alright first of all no you fucking don’t slay, not today not any day if that matters cause I’m like dr Seuss, I’ll give you cancer then I’ll leave you to die knowing… no one loves you. Cause everyone who comes out of your balls hates you, not even your own dad celebrates you. Your teachers called you a retard, YOU WERE FUCKING HOMESCHOOLED! Not cool, how the fuck does that happen? Your dad talking shit about you while you’re napping. At this point stop repopulating the earth and think about why you want childbirth. Cause you abandoned every 12 kids you impregnate, most of your children never see you anyways! No matter how much money you spend on Twitter

It’s X!

FUCK YOU FIRST OF ALL! I’m gonna tax you so hard you can only crawl! Cause you? You’re rich enough to escape the paparazzi. Doesn’t make sense how you became a fucking Nazi.

Hold on there, I’m not a Nazi. And all these swastikas? I’m not the one holocausing it! Not even a little bit!

Horrible pun first of all I’m gonna make you pay extra, dude. If you were penniless no one would send you a single nude!

I still hit though-

Well your shit sucks! You couldn’t even make a woman cum for 10 bucks!

And also- first of I’m not a Nazi, my best friend is black!

HEYO GUYS IM KANYE WEST IM A FUCKING NAZI, I hate the Jews AND THE PAPPARAZI. Asking about my day? Fuck off it’s 3 am anyways.

He doesn’t mean that-

The Jews-

*Elon musk physically restrained Kanye west*

He didn’t mean that shit on X!

Both irs and Kanye: ITS TWITTER DIPSHIT

*They both kick Kanye west out the room*

Even then, how the fuck you lose Half your money twice? I give you some advice, maybe shut up and be nice? You can’t even play video games right, how the hell do you think you’re gonna put up a fight when some deranged lunatic on 4chan tumblr or Reddit says forget it! I’m gonna make sure you’re affected by the actions, first of all everyone on tumblrs a nerd, everyone on Reddit is a virgin, but everyone on 4chan is both versions. I know you’re neurodivergent but that doesn’t mean scream “HEIL HITLER” whenever a Volkswagen comes on screen.

Who won? Who’s next?

[blueberrisdove-sideblog]

－． 𝐒𝐈𝐌𝐏𝐋𝐄 𝐑����𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐆 ！

𝒲ℛℐ𝒯ℐ𝒩𝒢 ℛ𝒰ℒℰ𝒮；

I will write : dark content (omegaverse, yandere, hybrids, dub/non-con, etc.) Nsfw/Smut, age gap, dilf & milf, bondage, more than one/two rounds, breeding kink, dominant & submissive characters, gay/lesbian sex, vanilla sex, pegging, pregnancy/sex during pregnancy, LBGTQ+ themes, pegging, dacryphilia, possessive or obsessive characters, strap, mommy/daddy kink, cheating and dead dove do not eat content.

I won’t write : Piss kink, Food play, woman character x male reader (i do write for male reader tho), Male pregnancy (unless its a joke. I fw that), Step/Incest, pedo stuff, feet fetish, reverse harem (even harem in general), toilet-play, gangbangs (hell no??), Character x oc, character x character (there has to be x reader if you want to do two characters), Period sex, scat play, Adults in diapers, whipping, shoe licking, Tsundere, ace/color specified reader, wound fucking, vore, fat fetish, physical/sexual abuse (even abuse in general) & won’t be writing nsfw of minors!

Big rule : if you are going to request add this heart [🤍] so I know that you read the rules (˶ ◜ᴗ◝ ˶) ♡︎ ! if you didn’t put the heart i’ll ignore your request.

Note : Most of this is NSFW and really HEAVY. So please minors dni with any nsfw content.

𝒟𝒩ℐ/ℬ𝒴ℱ ；

Do not interact if you’re a : Israel supporter, Homophobic, transphobic, racist, N*zi, Elon Musk/Donald Trump supporters, Islamophobic, annoying asf, Mydei haters (this is a joke btw), people who don’t know the difference between fiction and reality.

Minors are not welcomed in this blog, therefore they are welcomed in my main blog @blueberrisdove , where I yap and kiss all my mutuals.

Also kink-shamers & pro MAGA SHOO SHOO! 👋🏼

Before you follow me, please make sure you're comfortable with the content I post. If you're not, feel free to block the tags. I'm not responsible for your experience, and I'm not here to babysit what you see.

If you have a problem with me PLEASE DM me and not post me, or either go on anon. If you go on anon i’ll immediately ignore you and delete your ask.

I used to post a lot, but now since I got an online job and pretty much busy with it I don’t.

I MAKE A LOT OF ERROR MISTAKES. Yes, obviously the reason is because English isn’t my first language, I have a problem with typing with my fingers and I move to different apps to write and not only on tumblr drafts.

Also yes you WILL be seeing repetitive words & sentences in my works because I’m bad at English.

This blog may occasionally post or interact with dark content. I always tag things properly (e.g., #cw : dacryphilia, #cw : gunplay, #cw : dubcon, cw : yandere) so you can filter them if needed, but nothing too extreme.

Do not steal any of my works neither translate them.

I TAKE TIME ANSWERING THIRSTS AND REQUESTS SO PLEASE BE PATIENT.

Also I am a yumeshipper but I love to ship my faves with other characters ! (Mydei x Phainon , Fyodor x Dazai , etc.)

Do not trauma-dump me for the love of god, please warn me first or ask if you want to vent. Not randomly venting to me.

DO NOT FORCE ME INTO WRITING OR PISS ME OFF IN MY ASKS WHEN SENDING A THIRST/REQUEST.

This blog explores mature and potentially sensitive fictional themes. If this content isn’t for you, I encourage you to move on rather than engage negatively. Please remember: finding something intriguing in fiction does not equate to supporting it in reality. Fiction and reality are separate, and it’s important to keep that distinction in mind.

I primarily write for fem!reader and gn!reader content. However, if you request a male!reader specifically, I’m happy to accommodate! If no reader gender is mentioned in a request, I’ll default to writing a female reader.

Please don't send the same ask/request/thirst to different blogs.

I mostly write abt male characters though I can also write female characters.

ALL OF THIS IS FICTIONAL I AM NOT INTO THESE STUFF IN REAL LIFE. (Dub/noncon, yandere, stalking, cannibalism, cheating, dacryphilia, breeding kink, bondage, etc.)

I just want to end this by saying, please USE PROTECTION!!! Fiction isn’t real life, so always wrap it up or just skip it. And remember, consent is EVERYTHING <3 kisses!!!

ℳ𝒰𝒯𝒰𝒜ℒ𝒮 ℛ𝒰ℒℰ𝒮 ：

Hiii want to be Mutuals just simply ask don’t be shy!

If you don’t like my work or have an issue with me, feel free to block me. But please don’t post about me. Let’s just handle things like adults and keep it private!

Please respect my personal boundaries, both online and offline.

If you got an idea from my work please give credit. :)

What’s shared in private stays private. Don’t share screenshots, DMs, or personal details without permission.

Avoid bombarding others with excessive messages or comments. Respect everyone’s time and space.

If giving feedback, make it constructive and kind. The goal is to help, not hurt.

If you are having “drama” with someone around here, DO NOT drag me into it.

If you no longer want to be my mutual, feel free to block me, but please do not unfollow me and leave me still following you.

ATTENTION : i will not be answering anon hate EVER. Unless if I’m bored or if it’s necessary to answer back.

[serendertothesquad]

Favorite OS fanfics? If you read them

Oooooh well do I got some for you, anon! Shame a lot of my favorites are restricted to Google Docs and aren't publicly published anywhere, but I'll give some a shoutout anyway.

Ships Ahoy!: An absolute classic. Lilac's entire slate OS-wise, really, but Ships Ahoy will always be a favorite. Beautifully crafted with great character dynamics, big old lore, and lots of gut punches that make me go "oof" and then sob eternally. There is also...

Full Circle: An unofficial sequel to Ships Ahoy that focuses on Olive and Oscar's relationship, with Otto, Otis, Oona, Oprah and Olympia all playing matchmaker to try and get them back together. Holy shit is it one of the funniest Odd Squad fics I've read, especially as far as Otis not knowing what shipping is and Olympia and Oona's shipping war is concerned. The A/N at the end is also something that resonates with me a lot, and as someone who writes OS fanfic, I like to look back on it every once in a while because it's very true.

Forever and a Mile: This one is a bittersweet and adorable one-shot that focuses on Octavia in the time she was tube-blocked by O'Brian and was confined to Precinct 13579's HQ, as well as Opie, the mysterious ballpit agent. I love this one because it gives a lot of depth to the ballpit and shows off some of the levels within it, while also making me feel sympathy for Octavia for all that she's going through.

OSMU: Fanfiction Friction: I'm putting this one here mainly because it's one of the few OSMU fics I've seen. It follows the Mobile Unit as they realize that, well, there are no fics written about them, and they do all this wild and crazy stuff in an effort to get a story out of it. There are an absolute fuckton of jabs to various things -- Elon Musk, ABBA, the comic book industry, and even the author himself, among others. There's even a bit where the author makes a jab at someone who was a bit of a pervert who liked to make up stories about agents naked and/or in bathing suits (key word is "was"; they got banned from Deviantart twice and AFAIK they are not around anymore), but you might not know that without context. If you're uncomfortable with that, though, the rest of the story is just as enjoyable if you skip it.

Viva La Vida: Villain Olive is a popular concept in the fandom. This is one of the earlier instances of it! The winner of a trivia contest held by Lilac, the idea for this one was conceived by Joshua Kilimnik and the story was written by Lilac. It features Olive slowly turning to the odd side due to a rapidly declining sanity with Odd Todd giving her all the pushes she needs. I like Olive's internal struggle throughout the story, as well as the (bad) ending which caps things off perfectly. (There's also a good ending, added for those who don't like to see Olly-child suffer. Just as beautiful!)

Icing: Fuck your two-sentence horror stories. All my homies hate two-sentence horror stories. Have a 91-word horror story that's one hell of a flashfic and puts a terrifying spin on what was already a pretty terrifying line in-series.

Through Frostbitten Stone: There is another fic I read a long time ago where Olympia manages to get hypothermia while trying to save Otis. (That's the gist of it. The full context would derail this bit.) This fic takes a bit of a different turn from that, with Otis getting hypothermia instead of Olympia, and is also one of the longest Odd Squad fics I've ever seen (and that is barring my own, thank you). It's a hefty read at nearly 30k words, but it's a beautiful read that showcases the Otis-Olympia partner dynamic perfectly.

...Okay fine. FINE. Two more and then that's it. God there are way too many good ones.

Star Agents: This was one that was Google-Docs-exclusive and has now been published onto AO3. And thank God, because it is incredibly good for an AU story where Otto and Todd are partners while Olive is on the villains' side. There are more chapters that are buried in Google Docs currently, but I recommend keeping an eye on this one for updates.

From The Desk of Doctor O: I like the format of this one. Dr. O trying to reform Odd Todd through court-mandated therapy sessions is also a really neat concept. Mainly because, if Odd Squad's judicial system were more realistic, I can 100% see court-mandated therapy being a thing. Definitely looking forward to seeing where this goes.

---------------------

This isn't an exhaustive list by any means, but there ya go, my list of favorites. I do like how the fic scene is still going strong with this fandom 10 years later lol.

Of course, I'm also nominating my own stories: my FiMFic catalog of crossover stories, and my AO3 collection of stories. Enjoy!

[dreams-and-honor]

Stoner Ass Bitch

ship: adriel cordero x olyn dominguez source: original content cw: they are both SO fucking high word count: 2423

THESE KEEP GETTING FUCKING LONGERRRR. I'm trying to add more than just dialogue like I always fucking do, but now it's one of those 'add pancake mix. too thick add water. too watery add pancake mix.' scenarios. Anyway, this is FINALLY fucking done, christ alive.

tag list: @dearly-beeloved @gymleaderkylar @adoredbyalatus @the-sleeping-city @dorothys-wife

@dear-gambler @goldenworldsabound @sunstar-of-the-north @mahitosoulmate

@faerie-circle-ships @heatobrienswife @tireddovahkiin

Home… God he was glad to be home.

The double shift working well into the night was, admittedly, Olyn’s bad. The laser focus was unyielding, he had become a vessel for his tools as he took on that beast of an engine block replacement. By the time he had come out of The Zone(™) the job was done and he wanted to go home and sleep for 80 hours give or take.

His whole morning had been a slow, intermittent trek through his house, broken up by naps on the floor. By 1pm, he had made it to his couch. Breakfast would be within his grasp… eventually. 

A knock on the door dashed any hopes of pacing himself.

“Babe, let me in, it’s fucking cold!”

Oh.

Sighing deeply, Olyn peeled himself from the surface of the couch, dragging himself in a great sacrifice to the door.

“Mi amor, mi vida, mi cielo. What the hell are you doing here?” he sighed once he had opened it. “I’m TIRED. I’m probably gonna just go back to sleep.”

“You could do that,” Adri hummed as he entered. “Or,” he turned around, holding a little makeup bag up by the corner, dangling it enticingly, “smoke you out?”

_

“Fuuuck, they were NOT kidding about those t-breaks.” Adri smoothed his hair back, as he lay back against the arm of the couch, legs planted in Olyn’s lap. “It’s blowing my goddamn mind here, Oly.”

“Yeah, I know. You’re up in space right now. With Elon Musk’s shitty car,” Olyn replied, his head tilted back to rest against the back of the couch. “Let’s go take a nap.”

“No quitters, we’re finishing this fucking bowl first,” Adri said, lifting his head to glare before lolling his head back again.

“That’s what you said about the last one,” Olyn sighed deeply. “Fine, but I need some ice cream or something, I’ve got a crazy fucking sweet tooth right now.”

Adri lifted himself again, gesturing vaguely but wildly.

“That’s what I’m always fucking saying to you! Those sugar cravings don’t play.”

“Because you are a human trash panda, babe. I have NEVER seen a man do the things you’ve done to a pack of gummy bears,” Olyn looked down at him, unable to keep from cracking a smile. “Pero, you’re not gonna drag my ass to the corner store, are you?”

“Oh my fucking god, why did you have to say that?” Adri groaned, throwing his forearm over his eyes.

"Adri. No. It's cold out there and I'm so comfortable. Please, baby, I am begging you not to make me put on my pants and face the elements," Olyn protested, looking like a man on death row. 

"But they've got that horchata machine at the 7-11. Come on, you want candy too," Adri pouted, giving him a weak shove.

Olyn whined. He DID want candy. He DID want some Takis and a big ass Slurpee. He’d been thinking about it for a good 10 minutes already, he just didn’t want to say something to jeopardize whatever warm gay cuddle puddle they had going on here. 

"I can't believe I'm doing this. Only because you convinced me, alright? We gotta smoke the rest of this and then we'll go get candy. Promise," Olyn groaned, returning the shove. 

“Okay, so don’t be a coward,” Adri said, all but shoving the ~ paraphernalia ~ in Olyn’s face. 

Olyn gave Adri a half-hearted glare, sticking his tongue out and trying not to think of putting his lips on Adri’s instead of the pipe. 

“You owe me,” he said, blowing his smoke down in Adri’s face. “YOU’RE paying.”

Adri scoffed in indignation.

“I smoked you out, come on,” he said, tossing a throw pillow at Olyn.

Olyn managed to catch the pillow, Adri’s aim was surprisingly on point when he was high. Making sure to set the pipe down first, he put the pillow in his lap, remaining vigilant. At the first sight of Adri’s grabby hands reaching for it, he presumed the worst (getting hit with a pillow) and tossed it to the other side of the room.

“Yeah, but you're about to have me put pants on and I hate that. I hate it, baby.”

“You’ve got like 15 pairs of sweats, come on. You know how much I love it when men wear sweatpants,” Adri whined. His turn to pout now.

“Fiiiine. My ass does look great in a pair of sweats,” Olyn conceded, peeling Adri off of himself to stand up. “Be right back.”

Olyn’s trip to the bedroom was a blur. He was tired. And really REALLY high. Goddamn he was so high. He didn’t even remember getting dressed, only coming back into the living room to see Adri half hanging off the couch. Naturally.

“Olyyyyn. Olyyyyy.”

“What?” he groaned. “Adri, what?”

With a soft sigh of affectionate aggravation, he hauled Adri back up onto the couch.

“Olyyyy isn’t a word, babe, c’mon.”

“I’m so fucking toasted. No, not even toasted. I’m crispy. Left me in the air fryer too long.”

“I know, mami, I know,” Olyn sighed, trying to pull Adri into a sitting position. “Now get up. Get up or I’m gonna drag you. Baby I do not want to have to carry your sorry ass to the corner store. Vamos.”

Now that he was in a proper sitting position, Adri let out a loud, guttural groan of indignation. He wanted a drink and some candy so fucking bad, but he was gonna complain about it the whole time.

“Put my Docs back on meee.”

Olyn responded with a deep sigh, staring down at him.

"You. Are. So. Lucky. That I love you."

He kneeled down, beginning the arduous process of getting Adri’s boots on him. He never loosened his laces. Why did he never loosen his laces?

Adri let out a snort, prompting Olyn to lift his head.

"We look like we're out of one of those gay leather fetish magazines right now.”

Olyn just stared at him for a moment before he doubled over laughing, struggling to stand up.

"What? Where the hell did that come from?" He asked, still laughing as he reached down to offer his hand. He sure as shit wasn’t gonna let Adri get away with conking out on his couch now.

"You don't know what bootblacking is? Come on, get it together," Adri said, weakly patting him on the head. He loved patting Olyn on the head, he had that little ahoge that bounced right back up. It probably wasn’t as funny sober, but it sure was entertaining right now.

“I can’t deal with you,” Olyn said as he finally pulled Adri up by his arm and dragged him to the door. “You’re gonna give me the giggles. Goddamn it’s cold, you sure you want to do this?”

"Yes, oh my god, if I don't have a soda in my hand in the next 5 minutes I'm killing someone," Adri replied, pushing past Olyn and beginning to make his way down the steps.

"Jesus," Olyn said, following shortly. "Babe, if you kill someone you can't move in with me. You can't, like, have a criminal history. I won't let you. My sweet, crazy boy." He grabbed Adri’s hand and gave it a squeeze, leaning into him. “I’ll help you dispose of the body.”

“Criminal history? Who says we’d get caught?” Adri shoved his hands in his coat pockets.

"Oh, babe. We'd be the sexiest Bonnie and Clyde," Olyn said, leaning closer. "Two beautiful, smart guys on the run?" He sighed dreamily. "You wanna rob a bank, baby?"

Adri snorted violently, descending into a fit of giggles.

“Oly quit, I can’t with you!”

“No, babe, I’m dead serious.” OIyn grabbed Adri by the shoulders, turning him towards him. “You're sexy and you like to commit crimes. We’d be such a hot criminal couple.”

"Shoplifting snacks from Target doesn't constitute as a crime, Olyn," Adri scoffed, brushing him off and starting to walk again. "Overpriced white people candy is BEGGING to be yoinked."

Olyn gasped a little bit.

"Adri!" He said, smacking him on the hip. "Did you steal something? Have you been stealing things from Target and not telling me?"

Adri doubled over laughing hysterically, holding onto his shoulder.

"Olyn quit, everything is funny right now!"

Olyn made sure to catch him before he fell over. 

“Babe, you are SO high right now. Like, it’s insane how high you are.”

"You're high too, look at you!" Adri said, giving him a little push before deadpanning, looking deathly serious. "Olyn you better not fucking laugh."

"... Or what? You gonna kill me?" Olyn asked before busting up into a fit of giggles. "I'm trying! I'm trying so hard to keep it in, I'm sorry!" He said, turning his face away so Adri wouldn't see him laughing.

"I knew it! You fucking stoner ass bitch," Adri laughed, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes.

Olyn laughed even harder, hiding his face in Adri’s neck. He was so high. Being a stoner ass bitch with his beautiful, weird little goth bf. He wouldn’t have it any other way.

"I'm gonna have so much cotton mouth when we get to the 7-11," he said, still hiding his face.

"I already do, hurry the fuck up," Adri wheezed, smacking him weakly but repeatedly on the back as they made it to the 7-11 parking lot.

"Okay, I gotchu, baby, I'm going."

The two of them managed to enter the convenience store with no further incident, taking a moment to breathe and compose themselves.

"Oh, thank god," Olyn said, heading straight for the Slurpee station. "I've never needed a Slurpee more in my life. Adri. Come here." He said, standing by the machines and waiting for Adri to come stand next to him.

"Hold the fuck on, I'm getting my tea," Adri said, coming around with a can of peach tea in his hand. "Baby, you want your Takis?"

“Ooh, I could kill a bag of Takis right now,” Olyn said, putting most of his focus into filling up his Slurpee cup without spilling anything. “Get me the regular fuegos?”

Out of the corner of his eye, he caught the glimpse of a bag being lifted into the air from the other aisle, as if asking to confirm these were, indeed, the ones.

“Si,” he replied. Getting the lid on this goddamn cup was rocket surgery at the moment. "I'm gonna go see if they have hot dogs or something. Do you want a hot dog?"

“Get me a couple of crispitos,” Adri replied, sounding deep in contemplation.

“Bet.”

Once Olyn had acquired his hot dog, Slurpee, and Adri’s crispitos, he made his way to the checkout counter. After a moment, Adri came around the corner with his peach tea, Olyn’s Takis, and some peach rings.

“Okay, I’m trying to be responsible,” he said, a deeply thoughtful, almost sage-like expression on his face as he stared down at the snacks.

Olyn had been standing there staring at the clerk, who was not interested in him in the least. Poor guy just wanted to do his job, Olyn was just too high to be paying attention.

"You want me to pay, baby?" He asked, taking his eyes off the clerk finally.

Adri wrinkled his nose and waved a dismissive hand at him

“No pasa nada,” he said, sliding the items across the counter before looking down. “Babe, this lighter has a fucking pikachu on it.”

"Oh my god does it?" Olyn said, looking at the rack of lighters. The Pikachu lighter was so funny for no reason. He had to have it.

"You're gonna have to let me pay, I need that lighter," he said, looking up at Adri with legitimate puppy eyes, 33 year old man that he was.

"You just wanna pay so you've got dibs. We're gonna do joint custody of this lighter, you hear me?" Adri asked him with a gentle elbow to the ribs.

"Oh, I don't know if I want joint custody. This may be the dealbreaker in our relationship," Olyn said, reaching for the lighter and holding it up like it was a baby. "Look at him! He's so cute. I'll give you visitation rights to the lighter, that's about all I'm willing to give you, baby."

Adri stared at him with an intense expression on his face before choking and breaking down laughing for what felt like the 8th time that day. 

And how could Olyn not laugh in turn? He was high as a kite in a 7-11, it was practically a requirement. He turned around and put the lighter on the counter with the rest of the stuff, smiling at the clerk.

"This one too please," he said, handing over his debit card. The clerk looked at him like he wasn't going to make it to the end of this transaction.

Adri only bit his lip in the background, every fiber of his being going into remaining composed and trying not to look like an entire idiot. 

"You good? You're not gonna laugh again are you?" Olyn asked, looking back. He didn't want them to both be giggling messes, but if Adri started, he was gonna lose it. "I'm trying to be responsible!" he told the cashier, like he even cared. He got his debit card back and the cashier gave him a look that spoke volumes. Whatever. Not his problem. 

"Thank you for your services, sir," Olyn said, grabbing the bag and waiting for Adri to pull himself together.

Adri gave the clerk a brief nod before busting out laughing again, having to depend on Olyn to guide him out of the store. Which was one of those ‘blind leading the blind’ scenarios, considering Olyn was also laughing his ass off.

By the time they made it back out into the parking lot, Olyn had managed to compose himself at least partially, holding Adri around the shoulders to keep him upright at the very least.

“Baby,” he said, “you are SO high.”

Adri only wheezed more violently, doubling over again with a frail attempt to swat at Olyn.

“So are you, qué chingados!?”

Both of them continued to make morons of themselves in the parking lot before the hysterics died down into small giggles. 

“We’re so much fun.”

“Truly. Now let’s get home, I call dibs on the tortilla blanket.”

“Your case for custody of the pikachu lighter isn’t looking too hot, babe.”

“Cállateeee! …Pendejo.”

They had to stop walking again.

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

My Unpopular Hobie Brown Opinions (& Headcanons) - [Part 1/??????]

Excuse me excuse me i got some shit to say that needs to be said cause this just what i be thinking when i be thinking too hard cause i be doing that sometimes (photo is of me when i be thinking cause i be doing that)

_______________________________________________________

First of all - Hobie doesn't have a smart phone.

Those little fake text yall be making? Where Hobie has a blue bubble? Nah bro not happening.

You think Hobie Brown is walking around with Siri in his pocket?? Siri who listens in on you and responds to the things you're saying while storing your info?

He isn't.

And he's not on twitter either so you can put those fake tweets in the basket too

He's not scrolling on the bird app giving Elon Musk revenue and engagement

Hobie seem like the type to walk in your house and start bad mouthing your Alexa. Be in your kitchen like 'Hey Google, kill yourself'

He has never opened or witnessed Tiktok and he never will

AT MOST he has a burner flip phone like a plug. And even then you have to pray he buys minutes. Voicemail? FULL.

Hobie is not a player.

He's from the 70's - the strongest time for HARDCORE second-wave feminism. Like bra-burning. Plus he's in the punk scene. He knows better than to say some slick shit or pull anything

BUT if ya'll make it clear it's casual and you catch feelings.. damn that sucks for you

Also, Hobie Brown doesn't get jealous. Lets stop the cap right now.

Mans doesn't even believe in private property and you think he'd feel comfortable being possessive over his partner

ESPECIALLY if they're a woman?

And secondly what insecurities does he even have to make him jealous? Can YOU , right now ,even imagine a man that would make Hobie Brown insecure/jealous?

I'll wait.

Realistically speaking, if you're not punk he's not into you most likely.

You don't have to listen to the music or 'dress the part' he doesn't care about that i mean like politically if you aren't in the movement good luck

Like if you turn down going to protests, or organizing,

or you don't wanna do community service with him he's not gonna feel it.

And he'd most likely be into people educated and into thinks like communism, socialism, anarchism, etc. If you can't hold a conversation about the immoralism behind being a landlord, then yeah there might be some awkward silences

Also can't believe I have to say this but ACAB and I mean that.

If you fuck with cops, Hobie doesn't fuck with you. Unless they're your family and even then they're on thin fucking ice.

Hobie has one-on-one interacts with fascists cops on the regular. The actively know who Spider-man is and target him.

Of course he's gonna hate them, or vent about them. The same way his one good experience with Gwen doesnt make him like the Society, having one good theoretical experience with a cop wouldn't make Hobie not hate cops.

In addition, Hobie has canonically killed people and is willing to kill again any day of the week if he has to. He stays ready.

He's done it with his guitar and he'll probably do it again in the future

And if you're with him you'd genuinely have to be comfortable and okay with that.

What are you gonna do? Defend a fascist? Exactly

So if he comes home with blood on him that isn't his, how you react is on you-

He's still gonna sleep good as hell at night

Hobie isn't very romantic. Like at all.

He's not buying you flowers - that's a sexist trope. He's not taking you to the movies because fuck the studio execs. He's not celebrating Valentine's Day because it's literally made up and he'll only celebrate anniversaries if you REALLY want to

He probably isn't chivalrous at all because he doesn't think to be - it's outplayed. So he's not opening doors and pulling out chairs or nothing

I feel like he's the type that if you got mad about it he'd be genuinely surprised because it just doesn't occur to him to be romantic

He'd be like 'why the fuck do you need roses?? i mean i love you i can knick you some if u want??'

He'd probably feel like all that is superficial as hell, and show his love in other ways

like stressing that you text him when you get home or always asking if you've eaten

he'd be like 'had any scran' or 'you've eaten right?' and if you havent hed immediately turn and go looking for the nearest food to give you (food insecurity does that to you)

Oh and he is not getting married not even a hippie wedding

cause Hobies not buying a ring (gold mining causes suffering anyway) and he's not proposing and if his partner proposed I feel like he'd be shocked in a slightly uncomfortable way

I could absolutely see him being poly. Like either being in a thruple, but most likely just having multiple seperate partners who also have partners

i can see Hobie being a baby daddy. Not in the bad way. In the good way. But not in the Peter B. way.

Not elaborating on that last part it just is what it is

----------------------------------------------------------

okay ill leave this here before it gets long also no proofreading oop - but tell me what you think id love to hear your thoughts! What you agree with or disagree with and why :) im chill and nice and not a twitter person i promise lol

but also, I said what I said <3

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

Bill Bramhall, New York Daily News

* * * * *

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

September 7, 2024

Heather Cox Richardson

Sep 08, 2024

By rights, tonight’s post should be a picture, but Trump’s behavior today merits a marker because it feels like a dramatic escalation of the themes we’ve seen for years. Please feel free to ignore—as I often say, I am trying to leave notes for a graduate student in 150 years, and you can consider this one for her if you want a break from the recent onslaught of news.

Yesterday, Trump ranted at the press, furious that the American legal system had resulted in two jury decisions that he had defamed and sexually abused writer E. Jean Carroll. He was so angry that, with his lawyers standing awkwardly behind him, he told reporters: “I’m disappointed in my legal talent, I’ll be honest with you.”

Today, Trump held a rally in Mosinee, Wisconsin, a small city in the center of the state, where he addressed about 7,000 people. A number of us who have been watching him closely have been saying for a while that when voters actually saw him in this campaign, they would be shocked at how he has deteriorated, and that seems to be true: his meandering and self-indulgent speeches have had attendees leaving early, some of them bewildered. In today’s speech, Trump slurred a number of words, referring to Elon Musk as “Leon,” for example, and forgetting the name of North Dakota governor Doug Burgum, who was on his short list for a vice presidential pick.

But today’s speech struck me as different from his past performances, distinguished for what sounded like desperation. Trump has always invented his stories from whole cloth, but there used to be some way to tie them to reality. Today that seemed to be gone. He was in a fantasy world, and his rhetoric was apocalyptic. It was also bloody in ways that raise huge red flags for scholars of fascism.

Trump told the audience that when he took office in 2017, military officers told him the U.S. had given all the military’s ammunition away to allies. Then he went on a rant against our allies, saying that they’re only our allies when they need something and that they would never come to our aid if we needed them. This echoes the talking points put out by Russian operatives and flies in the face of the fact that the one time the North Atlantic Treaty Organization invoked the mutual defense pact in that agreement was after the attacks of September 11, 2001, in support of the U.S. 

He embraced Project 2025’s promise to eliminate the Department of Education and send education back to the states so that right-wing figures like Wisconsin’s Senator Ron Johnson can run it. He reiterated the MAGA claim that mothers are executing their babies after birth—this is completely bonkers—and again echoed Russian talking points when he said these executions are happening—they are not—but “nobody talks about it.” He went on: “We did a great thing when we got Roe v. Wade out of the federal government.” 

He reiterated the complete fantasy that schools are performing gender-affirming surgery on children. “Can you imagine you're a parent and your son leaves the house and you say, Jimmy, I love you so much, go have a good day at school, and your son comes back with a brutal operation. Can you even imagine this? What the hell is wrong with our country?” Trump’s suggestion that schools are performing surgery on students is bananas. This is simply not a thing that happens. 

And then he went full-blown apocalyptic, attacking immigrants and claiming that crime, which in reality has dropped dramatically since President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris took office after a spike during his own term, has made the U.S. uninhabitable. He said that “If I don’t win Colorado, it will be taken over by migrants and the governor will be sent fleeing.” "Migrants and crime are here in our country at levels never thought possible before…. You're not safe even sitting here, to be honest with you. I'm the only one that's going to get it done. Everybody is saying that." He urged people to protest “because you’re being overrun by criminals.” 

He assured attendees that "If you think you have a nice house, have a migrant enjoy your house, because a migrant will take it over. A migrant will take it over. It will be Venezuela on steroids." He reiterated his plan to get rid of migrants. “And you know,” he said, “getting them out will be a bloody story.” 

He went on to try to rev up supporters in words very similar to those he used on January 6th, 2021, but focused on this election. “Every citizen who’s sick and tired of the parasitic political class in Washington that sucks our country of its blood and treasure, November fifth will be your liberation day. November fifth, this year, will be the most important day in the history of our country because we’re not going to have a country anymore if we don’t win.” 

He promised: “I will prevent World War III, and I am the only one that can do it. I will prevent World War III. And if I don’t win this election,... Israel is doomed…. Israel will be gone…. I’d better win.” 

"I better win or you're gonna have problems like we've never had. We may have no country left. This may be our last election. You want to know the truth? People have said that. This may be our last election…. It’ll all be over, and you gotta remember…. Trump is always right. I hate to be right. I’m always right.” 

Trump's hellscape is only in his mind: crime is sharply down in the U.S. since he left office, migrant crossings have plunged, and the economy is the strongest in the world.

Then, tonight, Trump posted on his social media site a rant asserting that he will win the 2024 election but that he expects Democrats to cheat, and “WHEN I WIN, those people that CHEATED will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the Law, which will include long term prison sentences so that this Depravity of Justice does not happen again. We cannot let our Country further devolve into a Third World Nation, AND WE WON’T! Please beware that this legal exposure extends to Lawyers, Political Operatives, Donors, Illegal Voters, & Corrupt Election Officials. Those involved in unscrupulous behavior will be sought out, caught, and prosecuted at levels, unfortunately, never seen before in our Country.” 

Is it the Justice Department indictments that showed Russia is working to get him reelected? Is it the rising popularity of Democratic nominees Kamala Harris and Tim Walz? Is it fury at the new grand jury’s indicting him for his attempt to overturn the results of the 2020 election and install himself in power? Is it fear of Tuesday’s debate with Harris? Is it a declining ability to grapple with reality?

Whatever has caused it, Trump seems utterly off his pins, embracing wild conspiracy theories and, as his hopes of winning the election appear to be crumbling, threatening vengeance with a dogged fury that he used to be able to hide. 

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

HEATHER COX RICHARDSON