#I literally don’t know where I’d be without Michael

[megagrind]

Ok I lied I’m going to be mentally ill for one more moment because I found the post I made back at the end of 2018 when I first started reading this series and…

Damn. What a ride. End of an era

[science-hoes]

Angel Kisses

Dr. Michael “Robby” Robinavitch x Reader

Warnings: graphic medical descriptions, needles

Description: Robby comes in on his day off with a minor injury, and the Reader ends up much closer to him than she had anticipated.

Michael Robinavitch Masterlist

—

The Pittsburgh Trauma Medical Center was rumored to be the 9th level of Hell. So when it was time for you to begin your schedule for trauma surgery, you prayed for a different hospital. Literally any other hospital.

But there you were, in the depths of the Pitt, working your fifth 12 hour shift of the rotation. Only 1pm, but you felt like someone had changed the clocks because there was no way that the day was only halfway done. You were reading a pediatric patient’s CBC results, getting ready to tell your senior attending for the day, Dr. Jack Abbott, that the child is anemic. But Dana’s voice distracted you:

“You can’t even stay away on your day off. Do you have a life besides the Pitt?” She said to someone out of your view.

“Trust me. This is a last resort.” You heard a man respond, the voice slightly familiar.

You turned around and saw Dr. Michael Robinavitch, the senior attending from your first four days of working here. He didn’t look too different out of his scrubs and navy hoodie that he wore at work. Black joggers and gray long sleeve athletic shirt that hugged his waist…really nicely.

“Last resort for what?” Dr. Frank Langdon called out from where he sat at his desk, charting his patient case.

“I fell of a ladder and tore up my back on the fence in my backyard.” Answered Dr. Robinav- Dr. Robby, you had to remind yourself. “I need stitches, but I can’t reach the cut.”

Langdon winced and leaned back in his chair. “Need me to stitch you up?” He asked.

Dr. Abbott walked up to the desk near Langdon and laughed. “No, he wants his friend to stitch him up. Right, Robby?” He joked, referring to himself.

Robby laughed and crossed his arms, biceps straining against the fabric of the athletic shirt. Damn. “Friend is a strong word. I don’t have friends.” He said with a smile.

Langdon scoffed. “We went fishing last weekend. What does that make me?” He asked.

“I prefer the term ‘coworker that I hang out with sometimes outside of work.’” Robby said, but you could see the teasing in the way his eyes crinkled.

Dana rolled her eyes. “You are all annoying me. Jack, go stitch him up so he can get out of here and rest.” She said before walking off to a patient room.

Robby shook his head. “No, no, just let a med student do it. Good learning opportunity.” He said.

“No med students today. Only interns.” Langdon mumbled as he continued typing on his computer.

Robby clasped his hands together and held them close to his chest. “Even better. I would love for my scar to be in a straight line.” He joked.

Abbott looked to you, who had been watching the group interact from a couple of desks over. Your face flushed slightly, realizing you probably look like an eavesdropper. He motioned with his head toward Robby. “Why don’t you take our patient to holding and fix him up? I’ll take the CBC results.” He said.

“Yes, sir.” You answered, almost a little too seriously. The Pitt was an intense environment, but these attendings did not have the same egos as the ones from your last several rotations.

Robby chuckled at your earnestness. “Hear that, Langdon? ‘Yes, sir.’ You should be taking notes.” He ordered facetiously, pointing his finger at the senior resident.

Langdon looked up from his desk as you began walking with Robby to the back of the Pitt where the holding rooms were. “You know, we tell all of our patients over 65 to be very careful when doing yard work.” He called out.

Robby shot him a bird without turning back around. You smiled at the banter, not used to the lax interactions between physicians of different ranks. Once you made it to the room, Robby sat on the bed, and you grabbed a standard suture kit.

“Is it on your back?” You asked, turned away from him.

“Yeah. I’d do it myself if I could reach it. I managed to cover it up though.” He said.

When you turned back around, his tight fitting shirt had been peeled off his upper body. Holy shit. In the last five days, you didn’t really give yourself time to fantasize about your attending. He was handsome for sure and charming when he wasn’t jumping down a resident’s throat (yet he still had the patience of a saint). His abdomen was well toned, and his chest was smooth. Not what you expected based off his hairy forearms and face.

You must have been staring too much because Robby’s shoulders hunched, as if trying to subtly cover his exposed body. “Let me just take a look at the cut.” You said, trying to come back to earth. You moved to the edge of the bed and removed the bandage that he had placed himself.

You could see the blood that had leaked through the dressing, but you were not prepared to see the extent of the cut stretch across the majority of his upper back. “Oh, shit.” You swore.

Robby chuckled. “That’s not a comforting thing to hear from your doctor.” He said, shifting uncomfortably as the cold air of the hospital struck the wound.

You shook your head in a panic. “Oh, no, I’m so sorry. I wouldn’t say that to a normal patient.” You covered for yourself.

Robby shook his head. “No, no. Listen. You’re taking everything a little too seriously. Just relax. Roll with the punches. That’s the only way you’ll survive down here.” He explained.

You nodded, taking in a stiff breath anyway. You disposed of the bandaging and picked up the lidocaine syringe. “Okay. I’m about to start injecting lidocaine around the cut. You’ll feel the burning more than the needle.” You said. You placed one gloved hand on his back, giving yourself a guide while you held the syringe in the other.

“90 degrees or 45?” He asked, making you freeze in place.

You paused for a moment, almost afraid to say your answer in fear of being incorrect. “90.” You answered.

“Why?”

At this point, the needle was hovering just an inch above your first injection site. “Recent studies show that patients report less pain with a 90 degree angle.” You said, confident in your sources.

Robby smiled, but you didn’t see it. “Very good.” Was all he said.

You injected the first round of lidocaine, and he hissed at the burning around the open wound. You kept moving around the cut, injecting small doses. “You’re doing great, Dr. Robby.” You praised, just as you would with any patient.

“Fuck, I say that to patients all the time. No wonder it makes no difference.” He grumbled.

You smiled slightly and injected the final dose. “All done.”

Robby let out a heavy breath, hanging his head as the skin slowly numbed where you worked. You began to open the suture kit and sort out its contents on the metal tray near the bed.

“What stitch?” He asked.

You grabbed some gauze and antiseptic from the drawer in the room before returning to his side. You cleaned the skin around the wound where the blood had dribbled down his back in a mix with sweat from working outside.

“Running stitch. The cut is long but not at risk of tension.” You answered. Robby nodded in approval. You carefully started on your first stitch, delicately inserting the curved needle into his skin. “So, you were on a ladder?” You asked.

Robby huffed in slight irritation. “Yeah. Trimming some branches that were reaching over the fence into the neighbors’ yard. I misstepped on the way down and lost my balance.” He explained.

You grimaced. “That sucks.” You said matter of factly.

“Yeah. Maybe Langdon is right. I’m getting too old for that kind of stuff.” He said with a chuckle.

Your hands carefully moved as they continued to sew. “You don’t look old.” You said.

Robby smiled to himself, not expecting you to respond at all. “You think so?”

“Yeah.” You said, glad he couldn’t see your involuntary blush. As you continued to stitch, you noticed all of the spots and marks that dusted his back and shoulders. “I like your freckles.” You noted.

Robby’s mind halted. It was a compliment he had never received. Your words went straight to his chest, and for the first time in a very long time, he felt flustered.

“My freckles?” He repeated.

You smiled and nodded. “Yeah. You got ‘em on your face too?” You asked.

Robby turned his head, not to present his face, but because he was still surprised and wanted to see if you were being genuine. And there they were. A light scattering of freckles across his cheeks and bridge of his nose.

“Yep. They’re precious.” You said after inspecting and returning back to your stitching. Robby’s face flushed, and you could especially see it in his ears as you worked. “You know, my mom used to tell me that freckles were angel kisses. Every time I got a new one, I thought an angel had kissed me. I went an embarrassingly long time into junior high before realizing it was just a tall tale.” You explained.

Robby smiled at the charming story, feeling an unusual feeling of comfort. “My grandmother used to say the same thing.” He said.

You grinned. “Looks like the angels couldn’t get enough of you then.” You teased.

Robby chuckled and ran a nervous hand across the back of his neck, careful not to pull against the skin as you worked. “How’s it looking back there?” He asked, trying to continue conversation.

“I need to run about five more stitches. Then you’ll be on your way.” You said.

He nodded and folded his hands in his lap. “Are you working tomorrow?” He asked.

You thought for a second, honestly not sure. “I don’t think so. My first off day since I started.” You replied. “Are you?”

“No. Seven on, seven off.” He said.

You pulled at the last suture and cut the remaining thread. “All right, Dr. Robby. You’re all cleaned up.” You announced.

“Great.” Robby hopped off the bed and stood up straight, popping a few kinks in his back from being hunched over. He towered above you, losing the intimacy that you temporarily had. “Take a picture and show me.” He said.

You pulled off your gloves slowly, unsure of how to respond. “Of the stitches?” You asked, afraid that he was going to grill you for sloppy suturing.

“Yeah, just to see the damage.” He responded.

You pulled your phone out and stood behind him. Fuck, even his back looked good. You snapped a picture and zoomed in to show him your work. Definitely saving that for later. “Does it look okay?” You asked timidly.

Robby nodded, impressed. “Actually yeah. Don’t think I could’ve done it better myself.” He complimented.

You laughed in relief. “Oh, good. I still need more practice on different suture patterns. I’m just lucky you were a simple case.” You said.

Robby looked down to you, letting his eyes linger as he watched you put your phone away. “If you aren’t busy tomorrow, maybe I can give you a masterclass. All ER docs have to know every suture.” He offered.

You looked up to him, suddenly very aware that he was still shirtless in front of you. You smirked and crossed your arms. “Sure. But only if you teach me just like this.” You said, looking him up and down. “You know, because you’ll need to let those stitches breathe.”

Robby grinned. “Wow. That was pretty smooth.” He admired.

You shrugged. “Just rolling with the punches.” You responded, repeating his quote from earlier. “Give me a call tomorrow.”

And you left. Robby stood there, smiling to himself. He pulled his shirt on and walked out to the desk hub. Langdon was still charting, but caught the attending before he snuck out. “What’s that goofy smile for?” He asked, even though he knew the answer.

Robby shrugged, hands in his pockets, unable to shake the smile off his face. “I don’t know.” He said before walking away to leave.

Abbott leaned against a desk near Langdon. “His ears are red.” He noted. “That motherfucker is in love.”

--

A/N: I thought this fic would be a little less fluffy and more spicy but I just can’t help it. Plus I love Noah Wyle’s barely there freckles. I feel like this isn’t my best work because I had severe writers block. Hope it’s good enough for yall tho 💕

[kxsagi]

Hello! Could I ask something about a foreign reader, maybe European, meeting Michael in Germany, Sae in Madrid and Rin in Japan while on a trip? Speaking in English since they don't know the language and having that immediate connection that neither of them have ever had before. That'd be very cute, and such a dream😫

“𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤”

a/n: love talk by wayv is a FIRE song

made reader both european and american if that’s okay! being american helps explain the english more

translation of each title: “do you speak english?” (german), “more beautiful than the sun” (spanish), “kotoba janakute mo/even without words” (japanese)

ft. kaiser michael, itoshi sae, itoshi rin

kaiser michael – "sprichst du english?" 

berlin's streetlights hum like lullabies, the city bleeding into a haze of jazz from some underground bar. you don’t know where you are. literally. google maps is spinning like a roulette wheel and you're pretty sure the bratwurst vendor gave you a fake street name just to mess with you. 

“you look like a lost little tourist,” a voice purrs, rich with amusement. 

you turn to see a tall, golden-haired man leaning against a lamp post, hands in his coat pockets, smirk curled like a sin. 

“you speak english?” 

his eyes light up. “better than you, probably.” 

he says it like he’s challenging you, like he wants to bicker for the next hour over espresso and late-night currywurst. 

you blink. “oh my gosh, thank goodness. i thought i was gonna get kidnapped.” 

“well,” he chuckles, stepping forward with a lazy saunter, “depends on who finds you first.” 

he offers his hand. “michael. kaiser, actually. but you can call me whatever you want, hübsches mädchen.” 

you laugh, hand in his. “i literally have no idea what you just said.” 

“good. it’s more fun that way.” 

and just like that, he walks with you, not behind or in front, but beside, like he already belongs there. he gets you a kebab, points out ridiculous graffiti, and lets you try to pronounce german street names while biting back laughter. 

you don’t even remember what you were looking for in berlin. now it’s just him. 

itoshi sae – "más guapa que el sol" 

you’re melting. madrid in the summer is no joke. and you, brave but dumb, decided to wear jeans. 

as you take refuge in a quiet little café, fanning yourself with a menu, the chair across from you scrapes against the floor. 

“mind if i sit?” an unfamiliar voice in crisp english asks. 

you look up. red hair. unreadable teal eyes. the aura of someone who absolutely hates small talk but will make an exception for you. 

“… uh, sure?” you blink. “do i know you?” 

he just shrugs and sits down, sipping from his water. “you were staring at the menu like it insulted you. figured i’d save you.” 

you snort. “i can’t read anything. my spanish sucks.” 

he lifts a brow. “american?” 

“and european… you say that like it’s a bad thing.” 

“it is,” he mutters. but the corner of his mouth quirks like he’s fighting a smile. 

he orders for both of you without asking, and you're weirdly okay with it. later, over chilled wine and tortilla, you learn he’s a football player. kind of famous, actually. sae something. 

“so you're like, a celebrity?” 

“only here,” he says, looking out the window. then softer, “not with you though.” 

you don’t know what it means. maybe he doesn’t either. but when he offers to walk you to your hotel, slowly, like he has nowhere else to be, you let him. 

itoshi rin – “言葉じゃなくても” 

you’re crying in the middle of a tokyo train station. not ugly crying, but overwhelmed, jetlagged, google-translate-is-failing-you crying. 

someone taps your shoulder. you spin around, sniffling, trying to look like you didn’t just almost sob into your iced matcha. 

he’s tall. sharp-eyed. slightly terrifying. but his voice is gentle when he asks, “are you okay?” 

“do you… you speak english?” you manage. 

“a little,” he says. “you’re lost?” 

you nod. 

without a word, he gestures for your phone. you hand it over and he starts typing something into your map app. once he finishes, he gives it back and mutters, “i’ll take you.” 

“you don’t have to–” 

“i want to,” he says. blunt. serious. a little red in the ears. 

on the way, you try to make conversation, and he gives these awkward, short replies, like he wants to say more but doesn’t know how. still, he slows his pace to match yours. he buys you a melon soda when he notices you haven’t had water all day. he hovers protectively when the crowd thickens. 

when you reach your destination, you thank him profusely. he just nods, looks like he wants to say something else… and hands you a tiny slip of paper. 

his number. with a scribbled note underneath: “i could work on my english more. can i practice with you?” 

and suddenly, you’re not so lost anymore. 

© 𝐤𝐱𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐢

[notenoughdramaaa]

imagine still being transphobic in 2025 💀 get a grip i hope you and your crusty man rot 💅🏽

Congratulations! You're the 11,737,473rd person to call me a transphobe. Do you feel better now? Was that the serotonin boost you needed today?

Wow, such a thoughtful, loving message. Thank you. If I had a nickel for every time one of “your people” told me they hope I die, I’d have at least 50 bucks. Doesn’t sound like much, right? But think about that: 50 dollars' worth of death threats from people who claim to stand for love, kindness, and inclusivity.

I get shit like this literally every day. There’s a whole brigade of Tumblr users who make it their hobby. You crawl into my DMs, drop a message saying you hope me and my boyfriend die, then block me so I can’t even reply back because you can dish it out, but you can’t take the heat.

Usually, I ignore this kind of nonsense. But fine. Let’s do this once and for all.

I already know where you’re coming from. You saw a joke I made, or you found out I write gay Harry Potter fanfic, and now you’ve decided I’m a transphobe. Why? Because J.K. Rowling is anti-trans, and therefore, anyone who so much as glances over her work must be evil too. Am I right?

Let’s unpack that for a second shall we?

I’ve talked about this before, but clearly not loud enough for the people in the back: when I was 14, fourteen, my mom signed me up for a queer book club. She knew I liked boys before I did. While most of you were probably still crying over broken crayons or eating dirt, I was in an actual room having real conversations with trans people about identity, transition, fears and the whole thing.

One of my friends from that group was a trans man. As we grew up together I got front row to watch him struggle with gender envy, feeling uncomfortable and having monologues about wearing briefs, while I was growing facial hair and he was growing breasts. We talked about everything: how weird it felt for him in male spaces, how terrified he was of being seen as “not enough,” how men’s bathrooms aren’t designed for people like him and the everything in between.

I helped him where I could. I tried to teach him how to read a room full of boys, how to feel like he belonged even when everyone told him he didn’t. Saying I hate trans people is the same as saying I hated him. And I didn’t. I don’t. I love that piece of shit that couldn't pick up a girl to save his life.

You know what else brought us closer? Gay Harry Potter fanfic. Yeah. The thing you think makes me a villain. HP helped him figure out he was gay. It gave him stories and characters that made him feel seen and helped him navigate the nightmare that puberty is. It was the foundation of our friendship.

Surprised? You shouldn’t be. People can love art and still criticize the artist. It’s called critical thinking you should try it sometime.

We still watch The Perks of Being a Wallflower even though Ezra Miller has done some awful things.

People still listen to Michael Jackson’s music, despite the serious allegations of pedophilia.

Picasso was a wife beater, but that doesn’t mean everyone who hangs a Picasso supports domestic violence.

Walt Disney was openly antisemitic, but we still watch The Lion King.

I love David Bowie’s music, even though he was accused of sleeping with a 14-year-old in the '70s.

People are complicated. Art is complicated. The world is not black and white, and neither is morality. Enjoying someone’s work does not mean you agree with everything they’ve ever said or done.

Now. Here’s the part you really won’t like. I do criticize certain aspects of modern trans healthcare specifically, the Dutch protocol. I hate it and I think it’s deeply flawed. And I’ve been vocal about that.

I don’t believe people should be fast-tracked into medical transition without extensive therapy and long-term support. I hate the idea of chopping parts off and calling it a day, or making kids take hormones that were used to chemical castration. People are raised as boys or girls and then expected to suddenly navigate the world as the opposite sex without psychological help or societal support. C'mon we don't do shit like that to people that’s not liberation that’s abandonment.

I also think that all this pressure to “pass” is toxic. It pushes people into unnecessary medicalization and reinforces the same gender stereotypes we should’ve left behind years ago, why can't there be girls with flat chests or boys with breasts? People need care and long-term therapy not just surgeries and hormones and a pat on the back.

So yeah. Keep calling me a transphobe if that makes you feel better. Whatever helps you sleep at night, kid. But honestly? I couldn’t give a single fuck what you think about me.

[greetings-inferiors]

I know it’s a weird ask but I really want to be able to fight Sora’s friends. I’d love in kh4 to have a limitcut type thing but with Riku, kairi, Donald, goofy, Roxas, etc. I just think it’d be really cool.

1.) Riku. I want the fully evolved form of the destiny islands Riku fight, have him have a dumb ass counter that he spams ever five seconds.

2.) Kairi. Let the girl rip and tear she deserves it. Her reckless teleporting to her keyblade noctis style is also sick as hell I’d love to fight it instead of alongside or as it.

3.) Donald and Goofy. Tag team. Donald zoning out Sora while goofy pressured him, and goofy protecting Donald while he charges up a massive spell. It’d be really cool.

4.) Roxas. The kh2 Roxas fight is one of my favourite in the series and I just want to see how they’ve both progressed.

5.) Axel. Okay so this is the main reason I’m making this post - I want to fight axel, it’s CRIMINAL that he doesn’t have his own theme yet. Every other character on here does, yet he’s stuck with sharing the 13th struggle. Why. Also him stance changing between his chakrams and his keyblade and the fire arena would be sick.

6.) Xion. Any excuse to hear vector to the heavens I’ll take. Also she has one of the best fights in all of kh3 so I want to fight her AGAIN. It’d be so cool if she dons her armour from days and becomes a giant fuckoff gundam as part of her dm too lmao

7.) Terra. We kinda got this in remind but it was terranort so I don’t count it. Also I think the lexaeus boss fight in kh2 is so cool and this is the closest we could ever get to it happening again lol

8.) Ventus. I just really want to see them fight. He’s so quick too I think it’d be Yozora and Xion levels of dancing with your opponent.

9.) Aqua. I want to not be able to make out her or Sora underneath the sheer mass of projectiles she’d release. I need her fight to be a bullet hell. Also she deserves to let off some steam after being trapped in hell for a decade.

10.) Naminé. Dear god please give her something to do. She’s literally done nothing since 2005. Kh3 forgot her so bad they had to make up a scene just to justify putting her on the boxart. I know that she technically has no offensive prowess since her only power is being able to change the memories of people related to Sora specifically, but please oh please just give her something else. Have her become a keyblade wielder. Have Donald teach her magic. Actually that’d be sick as hell, have the witch be incredibly strong at magic without needing a keyblade like everyone and their grandmother. Just please do something with her.

11.) Mickey. Let me beat up Michael. Let him go all out. See who deserves the title of king.

Extras:

Have “hard mode”s where you have Riku and Kairi, Mickey Donald and goofy, Roxas Axel and Xion, and Terra Ventus and Aqua pairing up. Who’d Naminé pair up with? Nomura knows.

Have Cloud, Tifa, and Yuffie grouped up as a fight and it’s literally just them ripped straight from 7 rebirth to its synergy skills and everything.

Yozora rematch? Idk it might be too soon.

I would say to have union cross characters as fights but that’ll probably happen in kh4 anyway. At the very least the lost masters for sure.

[cruelestpigeon]

THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES IMPRESSIONS: EP 125 - 129

EP 125: Civilian Casualties

Help Jon actually making the sound effects?? Again, I don’t have too much to say about this statement. Oh Melanie is actually going to kill them for taking out a bullet without her knowing. This was definitely one of Jon’s much worse and horrible ideas oml. I get the intention but man if I woke up to that, especially after everything I’d been through I don’t think I could forgive them, that’s such an invasion of privacy.

EP 126: Sculptor’s Tool

Wasn’t Sannikov land the place where Gertrude was taking Michael? Yup yeah it was. Man I get why Jon did it because he just can’t lose anymore people but goddd you should’ve just tried talking to her first. Martin being affectionate with the tape recorder aw. POWER? Y’all… What kind of ritual are y’all planning on putting my boy through?? Oh? Dekkar guy is back? Y’all I’m confused again I have a hard time keep track of characters :’)

EP 127: Remains To Be Seen

Von Closen? hmmm? This time I’m going to choose to believe these statements are left by Peter Lukas or Martin. Very out of character for Martin but idk it could be his way of trying to tell Jon what’s going on. Also nooo literally everyone close to Martin is dropping like flies and he’s being isolated by the avatar (?) for the lonely like goddamn someone (Jon) needs to help him. I think it’s really funny how Jon’s spirit has somehow attached itself to tape recorders and so they just randomly pop up and start recording bits that might be important for him lmao.

EP 128: Heavy Goods

Did he just deliver Daisy’s corpse. Y’all. OH WHAT THE HELL DID JON DO?????? HE TOOK THE STATEMENT HIMSELF????? BREEKON AND HOPE BACKSTORY??? DAISY ISNT DEAD??? There’s no way she stays in there because her character arc isn’t finished

EP 129: Submerged

JON AND MARTIN!!! did Jon just teleport what was that? JON TOLD MARTIN HE MISSED HIM????? I really like the rainy vibe of this statement. Oh nevermind I infact do not like the rainy vibe of this statement! Don’t got too much else to say

[theteasnake]

Silent Trio as incorrect quotes

I got all of these from this generator.

Amanda: Why do you let me win when we race up the stairs? You’re the faster one.

Danny: Erm... it’s nice see your smile when you win!

*later*

Amanda: They're probably just staring at my ass, aren't they.

Michael: Yeah, probably.

Danny: Love is weakness and an evolutionary mistake.

Amanda: You are literally making a Valentine’s day card for Michael.

Danny, pointing their hot glue gun towards Amanda: You’re on thin fucking ice.

Michael: I dropped Danny.

Amanda: Michael, what the fuck.

Michael, gardening: Hey, can you bring me the hoe?

Danny: Yeah, sure.

*A few minutes later*

Danny: Here you go.

Michael:

Danny:

Amanda: Why am I here?

Danny: How do you tell someone that you wanna have sex with them in a polite way?

Michael: Excuse me Mx. Would you give me the honours of indulging in sexual activities with you?

Amanda: What the fuck is wrong with you two?

Danny: I apologize for saying 'fuck' in front of Michael.

Amanda: You just said it again.

Michael:

Danny: I am not a role model.

Amanda: Michael, get that hidious thing out of the living room, would you?

Michael: Danny, Amanda wants you to get out of the house.

Danny, texting Michael: Michael! Help I'm being kidnapped!

Michael: Where are you?

Danny: I'm with some strange person. In a car. Help.

Michael: I'll call Amanda.

Amanda, answering their cell: Y'ello?

Michael: Where's Danny? They texted me that they were being kidnapped.

Amanda: Danny? Whaddya mean, they're right next to me-

Amanda:

Amanda: I'll call you back. *Hangs up*

Amanda: THE NEW HAIRCUT ISN'T THAT BAD!

Danny: WHO ARE YOU!?

Danny: *yawns*

Amanda: Yeah, being that pretty must be tiring.

Danny: Then you must be exhuasted.

Michael: Will you two shut up? Some of us are lonely.

Danny: Thank you all for coming.

Michael, wearing a hospital gown: When I heard you couldn't get laid, I dropped everything and came straight here.

Danny: Well, I couldn't imagine anyone else being part of the "Fuck Danny Task Force".

Amanda: Yeah, I interpreted that in a different way.

Michael: Why is everyone so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I’d just be excited to have a bunk bed.

Danny:

Danny: I'm gonna tell them.

Amanda: Don't you dare.

Amanda: I like your top, Danny!

Michael: I have a name, you know.

Danny: *sighs* Why. Why are you like this.

*Amanda is comforting Michael*

Amanda: Stop crying because it’s over. Start smiling because Danny is someone else’s problem now.

Danny: sapnu puaS.

Michael: What??

Amanda: What language is that.

Danny: Turn your phone 180 degrees.

*Danny was removed from the groupchat*

Danny: Is there a cactus where your heart should be?

Amanda: What’s up your ass this morning!

Michael: *walks in* ...Hey.

Amanda: Hmm… nevermind.

Danny: WAIT NO!

Amanda: Yo dumbass, get over here.

Danny: Okay-

Michael: *gleefully runs past* I’m coming!

Danny, sadly: I thought... I was dumbass...

Michael: Hey, Amanda. Why did the chicken cross the road?

Amanda: To get to the other side?

Michael: You were supposed to say “I dunno, why?“

Amanda: Uh... fine. I don’t know. Why did it cross the road?

Michael: To get to the idiot’s house.

Amanda: ...Ok?

Danny: Hey, Amanda. Knock knock.

Amanda: No.

Danny: You were supposed to say “who’s there?”

Amanda: Fine... let’s get this over with. Who’s there?

Danny: The chicken.

Amanda:

Danny:

Michael:

Amanda: Listen here you little shits-

Danny: Look at the buns on that guy!

Michael: *lying on the floor, covered in hamburger buns*

Amanda: This is the comedy police! The joke's too funny!

Danny: I'm not going back to jail!

Michael: *lifting weights*

Danny: Wow… They’re so intense!

Amanda: I wonder what drives them.

Michael, internally: Oh I am going to be SO good at giving hugs.

Amanda, staring upwards: So, Danny broke up with me… haha…

Michael: Why are you looking up?

Amanda: I need to cry, but my foundation was 48 dollars!

Amanda: Without ugly, there would be no beauty in this world.

Michael: Thank you for your sacrifice, Danny.

Danny: Michael’s gonna kill me.

Amanda: No, they'll probably make me do it.

*The Squad using an Ouija board*

Amanda: Tell us… Is there a spirit in this house?

Spirit, through the board: YES.

Michael: Great! Rent is due on the first of the month.

Danny: Oh, and movie night is on Friday if you want to hang out.

Spirit: WAIT, WHAT—

Michael: So… I’ve seen you’ve been spending a lot of time with Danny recently.

Amanda: No, Michael, it's not what it looks like, I swear.

Michael: Oh really? So no reason for me to be jealous?

Amanda: No! You’re the only one for me.

Michael: Is that so?

Amanda: I promise! Danny and I are just dating, okay? They’re my partner.

Michael: So there are no best-friends-feelings involved?

Amanda: You are still my one and only best friend! They’re just the love of my life, nothing more!

Michael: But I’m still the platonic love of your life, right?

Amanda: Of course bro!

Michael: Bro...

Danny: What the-

Amanda, looking through their clothes: Has anyone seen my top?

Michael: Danny's in the kitchen.

Amanda: Norwegia. Is. Not. A. COUNTRY!

Michael: Then where are Norwegian people from!?

Danny: NORWAY!!

Danny: We need to open this locked door. Michael, give me your credit card.

Michael: Here.

Danny, pocketing it: Thanks. Amanda, break down the door.

Amanda: I’ve never asked someone out. How do you even do it?

Danny: Oh, what I do is, I look them up and down and I say: “Hey… how you doin’?”

Michael, scoffing: Oh, please.

Danny, to Michael: Hey, how you doin’?

Michael:

Michael: *giggles and blushes*

Michael: What's worse than a heartbreak?

Amanda: Stepping on a cat's tail and not being able to explain that you're sorry.

Amanda: Who do we know that has handcuffs?

Michael: Well Danny and I-

Danny: *elbows Michael*

Michael: ...wouldn't know.

Danny: When I was married, you know what Michael often said to me?

Amanda: Please stop sleeping with other people?

Amanda: Danny just insisted Michael and I remember a code word in case we’re ever confronted by their clone or a cyborg doppelgänger and we’re not sure which is the real them and which is the imposter.

Amanda: Some families have a fire escape plan, but not us.

Michael: So, how long have you and Amanda been together?

Danny: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Amanda and I are not together. No. No.

Michael: Really? Sixteen ‘nos’? Really?

Amanda, watching Michael and Danny from afar: Two Bros, Chillin in a hot tub. Five feet apart because they think they’re not gay, BUT THEY REALLY ARE-

Amanda: Danny and I got married!!

Michael: Don't share your personal problems with everyone.

Michael: Anyone else feel good when their brain releases a bunch of endorphins?

Amanda: Can't relate.

Danny: Why would my brain release a bunch of dolphins?

Danny: Michael, I’m afraid.

Michael: Just stay close to Amanda.

Danny: That's why I’m afraid.

Amanda: You are irrationally angry 365 days a year.

Danny: Well, that’s just your personal opinion, I don’t have anger issues. Do you guys think I have anger issues?

Michael: Well, I wouldn’t really call it an issue. An issue is something you can fix.

Danny: Pfft, you should meet Michael, they're such a tsundere.

Amanda: They... they just stabbed you.

Danny: So cute.

Danny: Sorry, who are you?

Michael: Oh, I’m Michael.

Danny: Oh yeah, I’ve heard about you from Amanda.

Danny: Are you their friend or something?

Michael: No.

Michael: I’m their therapist

Amanda: Did you take out Danny as I requested?

Michael: Danny has been taken out, yes.

Amanda: You have my grat-

Michael: It was a great restaurant.

Michael: We had a romantic candlelit dinner.

Michael: Danny proposed afterwards- we’re filing the wedding papers.

Amanda: What happened to Danny?

Michael: They died.

Amanda: They what?

Michael: They died, but they’re okay.

Amanda: …Can you please clarify?

Danny: Clarification is for the weak.

Amanda: Please pray for Danny.

Michael: What happened to them?

Amanda: Nothing, they’re just very stupid.

Amanda: Hey, what’s up?

Michael: The sky.

Amanda: No, I meant like, what are you doing?

Michael: Oh, Danny.

Danny: *highfives Michael* Nice!

Amanda: Hey, Danny, are you free on Friday? Like around eight?

Danny: Yeah.

Amanda: And you, Michael?

Michael: Umm... yes?

Amanda: Great! Because I'm not. You two go out without me. Enjoy your date!

Michael: Did they just-

Amanda: I'm gonna eat the chicken breasts!

Danny, snickering: Yeah, eat what you lack.

Michael, deadpanning at Danny: Then maybe I should order brains on delivery for you.

Amanda: I just had a long talk with Danny and Michael about hitting and now they are yelling “it’s my turn to perpetuate the cycle of violence” before hitting each other.

Michael: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

Amanda: Wasn’t Danny with you?

Danny: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

Amanda: WHO ATE MY BREAD?!

Amanda: I'M GOING TO FUCKING K-

Michael: I did?

Amanda: Kiss you and buy some more, you haven't been eating anything today Michael.

Amanda: *walks away*

Michael:

Michael: They're gone Danny.

Danny, coming out the closet with bread stuffed in their mouth: Twankh uh!

Danny: Amanda got into a fight.

Michael: That’s bad.

Michael:

Michael: Did they win?

Amanda: I honestly feel like some of our conversations here are almost word-for-word accurate to the generator.

Danny: Yup.

Michael: Maybe the generator is watching us.

Amanda: Wouldn't that imply this conversation will be added?

Amanda: ...

Amanda: Wait—

Danny: We need a diversion. I say Amanda gets naked.

Michael: No.

Danny: I could get naked.

The squad: NO!!!

Amanda: H-how do you ask someone out?

Danny: Well, first-

Michael: Don't ask them, they asked me out in a McDonalds parking lot.

Amanda: ...And you said yes?

Danny: Uh, I think I got your lunch. *Holds up a note that reads: ‘I am very proud of you. Love, Michael’*

Amanda: Oh yeah. I didn’t think this was for me. *Holds up a note that reads: ‘Be good. For the love of God, Please be good.’*

Amanda: *sucking on a popsicle*

Danny: Pfft, you practicing for when Michael gets here?

Amanda: *takes a huge ass bite out of the popsicle*

Danny: *Concern*

Danny: God, I love Amanda.

Michael: Yeah, you fucking better.

Amanda: What have you done with Michael?

Danny: Nothing. Why, do you think I should?

Michael: Why don't we just call it, "M.C. Donald's?"

Amanda: Because it just sounds like a stupid rapper's name.

Danny: It'd just be like- "Eyo, it's ya boy, M.C. Donald!"

Michael: What do people in relationships even do?

Danny: Care about someone with your whole heart and dedicate your life to making them happy.

Michael: Okay. Didn't ask.

Amanda: Asks question

Amanda: "Didn't ask"

Michael: Thanks for the play by play, Captain Fuck.

Amanda: You get turned back into a baby but you retain all your skills and memory, what do you do?

Danny: Eat a nickel.

Amanda: A reminder: You have retained all your skills and memories.

Michael: Eat a nickel.

Amanda: Ok.

Danny: I have locked Amanda in a cage designed by their own art. Oh, they have been well and truly hoist by their own petard.

Michael: Could you put it another way? I didn’t understand a word of that.

Danny: I’m blackmailing them.

Michael: Oh, happy days.

Michael: *heading out to see Amanda*

Danny: Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!

Michael: I think I crossed that line when I got a date.

Michael: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming?

Amanda: Can everyone in this godforsaken group please learn the skill called "Think Before You Speak"?

Danny: Ya know... it might be.

Michael: So, what’s Danny's type?

Amanda: Brown eyes, kind, oblivious, good sense of humor, turtle lover.

Michael: Sounds kind of like me. Too bad we’re just friends.

Amanda: Did I mention oblivious?

Michael: Yeah, why?

Amanda: Okay, just making sure.

These are ones weren't from the generator.

Amanda: why does all our food keep blowing up?

Danny: :3

Amanda: Danny. Why does our food contain explosives?

Danny: :333

Amanda: Why were you given explosives in the first place?!

Danny: :3333333

Amanda: sup, Daniel

Danny: the fuck did you just call me?

Amanda: Daniel?

Danny: :0

Danny: oh how dare >:0

Amanda: what? Isn't Danny a nickname for Daniel?

Danny: no??? Who the fuck names their kid Daniel?

Amanda: who the fuck names their kid Danny?

Danny: my dad, apparently

Michael: do you wanna know how I actually hurt my ankle?

Danny: yes

Michael: I was hula hooping on the roof in Haddonfield

Danny: why are you telling me this?

Michael: because no one will ever believe you

Danny: you sick son of a bitch

[ineffable-endearments]

A Matter of Life and Death / Stairway to Heaven (1946)

Posted for the @gomenseveryday countdown to Good Omens 2! 16 days to go!

I was able to watch this old movie just by searching for the title on Roku. At least in my region, there are a few free apps you can download to watch it - there were commercials, but not too many.

This movie had two different titles: Stairway to Heaven in the US, and A Matter of Life and Death in the UK.

I’ll admit, old movies can be hard for me to get into because - and this is difficult to explain, but I’ll do my best - the language, the framing of stories, and the very cinematography is so different from what I’m used to. It’s definitely not about special effects and has nothing to do with the quality of the story or acting; it’s something vague. It’s like a dialect of a language that I speak, where I can understand a lot of it, but there are serious gaps in my understanding. As a result, I might miss social cues that most contemporaries of those movies would have picked up with no problem (like slang expressions). If you’ve seen this movie and my interpretation sounds off, there is a good chance it’s because the movie is more than twice as old as I am and I don’t fully know what I’m talking about.

Stairway to Heaven is referenced in the opening sequence to Good Omens 2 (the link leads right to the opening sequence, so don’t click it if you want to keep that a surprise), and has also been mentioned by Michael Sheen as a favorite movie. It’s about a World War II pilot named Peter Carter whose “time is up,” who is supposed to die as he ejects from his burning plane without a parachute - but Conductor 71, his usher to the afterlife (a former French aristocrat who has been dead for a long time), loses track of him in the soupy fog of the English channel. Peter has to appeal to a Higher Authority for an extended lifetime with his new beloved, the American operator at an army base who took what he believed was going to be his final call from his plane. Her name is June.

While Peter is experiencing this heavenly appeal, his doctor and love interest are assuming that his struggle is “real to him” but not literal; they believe he is having many very complicated hallucinations that he needs to work through, while in the physical world, surgery needs to be done on his brain to prevent lasting damage.

It’s said at the beginning of the movie that the ethereal events take place in the pilot’s imagination. While I can take that somewhat at face value, the movie presents the afterlife trial as very real, intermingling it with Peter’s brain surgery and appearing to affect the world around him physically. The movie validates the pilot’s experience and the complexity of the ideas he’s grappling with, while acknowledging that his brain injury is also a physical reality. I can’t be entirely certain whether the success of the surgery led to Peter’s survival or whether the success of the ethereal trial led to the success of the surgery, and I suspect that’s the whole point.

It’s a thoughtful movie with much more to it than just the similarities to Good Omens. However, this post is about those similarities.

There are so many familiar things here. The afterlife as a bureaucracy? Oh, yes, it has that in spades. Theres also an amusing scene wherein Conductor 71 stops time to have a chat with Peter. The main characters are English and US-American, too, and an element of “sides” is introduced in the form of debate over the cultures of England and the USA. This is no concern to Peter and June, but it is very concerning indeed to the afterlife entities who died during historical events.

All in all, I’d highly recommend this movie if you want to connect with some familiar ideas as they manifested in a story from many decades ago. Note that the movie does date itself sometimes. To my relatively untrained eye, it seemed pretty respectful, although there were a few stereotypes that you might expect from 1946, and I think it tried to boldly face some aspects of history (e.g. England's imperialism) while continuing to sanitize others. Overall, though, I'd recommend it!

EDIT: Oh, dear. I didn't notice, but after reading online, I've been informed that there's blackface in the movie. One of the celestial characters is intended to be a Black American, but during part of his appearance on-screen, the film switches from black and white to Technicolor, and you can see that he's played by a white actor. This information is from TV Tropes and I can't seem to find screenshots of any related parts of the movie, but you should be warned that it's in there.

[mrbensonmum]

TV Shows - 3 Body Problem VI

First, we learn that Ye Wenjie is brought to Michael Evans on the Judgment Day, and at the beginning of the series, during Vera's funeral, we found out that Vera is their daughter. This is another aspect that is portrayed differently in the book. I wonder if this connection was chosen in the series to create a sort of bridge between the different factions. However, I don’t mean the factions within the series itself, but rather between the Chinese and Western actors.

Because, if we take a closer look, there are indeed some differences in nationality and gender, as well as certain events that are spread across multiple characters (I’m still very curious about how this will develop later in the series).

However, the crucial point in this episode is that, due to his ignorance, Michael Evans loses contact with the San-Ti (as they are also called). He reads them a story, but it is misunderstood by the other side. It’s also clear that Evans isn’t particularly good at explaining it. At the same time, it reveals that the San-Ti, as it seems—though it's not explored further—have a completely different understanding of truth and untruth, as well as communication in general. This is another area where more could have been explored about the San-Ti, to make things clearer for the audience. After all, communication has already existed for some time, and without an eight-year gap in between.

Will, meanwhile, has rented a small house where he also learns that he is the sole heir to Jack’s fortune. Unfortunately, at that moment, he’s too stoned to really grasp it. Honestly, I can understand him—if I had the chance, I’d probably do something similar and sign up for what’s coming in the next episodes.

Toward the end, Jin is almost murdered by Tatiana, but Clarence manages to prevent it. Tatiana is shot but manages to escape, and she will only reappear later. Ye Wenjie, however, is captured by the task force and still believes that this is all part of the San-Ti’s plan, and that when they arrive in 400 years, they will populate the Earth together.

I know I ask this question often, but it keeps popping up in my mind—how will it continue? In theory, I know how it goes on, but the question is more about what we’ll actually see visually, or what the series will show us. Especially when I think about Will and everything that gets set in motion through him—just that alone could easily fill half a season.

But the arrival of the San-Ti is a relatively complex topic (here’s a spoiler warning)! The first season leaves us with the knowledge that in four hundred years, the San-Ti will land on Earth, and humanity can do nothing about it—or won’t develop enough to counter it. This misconception persists until the very end, about 200 years in the future from here, where incredible arrogance among humans is suddenly, literally, shattered.

This is where the Swordholders and Wallfacers come into play, with the latter only being briefly mentioned in the last episode (more on that later).

This episode, I think, marks a sort of halfway point, and you can feel how things start to tighten up from here. Everything suddenly develops at a rapid pace, even though it’s still told calmly and thoughtfully. This is something the series shares with the book when you compare the first season with the first book. Because from the second book onwards, nothing is as it once was, and events start to spiral.

I just read an article about the Chinese audience’s response to this series, and the changes to the characters have not been well received. I can understand that to some extent. Even though these changes were made to make the series more appealing to a broader audience, I found it very interesting in the book that the main characters were mostly Chinese. It was just more diverse in many ways because it was something unfamiliar.

Even though I often complain that the series should tell us more about the San-Ti, I think, at the end of the day, it might not be such a bad thing. It maintains an interesting level of suspense, and that with a lot of finesse.

I’m particularly curious about what will happen with Tatiana since, in the book, she’s just a bodyguard for Ye Wenjie and dies rather quickly and unexpectedly. Especially because she manages to escape, and we later learn that she also gets a headset.

One more fun fact to finish: If Netflix sticks to its current plan, this could become the most expensive series in Netflix history. Each episode costs around 20 million dollars, and if the subsequent seasons also have eight episodes each, the total costs will reach 480 million dollars. Whether this includes marketing, I don’t know, but when you think about it, you can see that the series is highly produced. Even though the CGI in The Rings of Power (Amazon) is much more extensive, I still think that both series visually benefit from these high costs. And yes, I know, there are significant differences in storytelling, no question. But purely in terms of look and feel, there are some parallels.

[ncisfranchise-source]

It’s almost hard to believe, but the NCISverse reaches quite the milestone with the April 15 episode of the mothership, and to celebrate that, Entertainment Tonight put together NCISverse: The First 1,000.

The special both looks back at the very beginnings of NCIS—introduced as a two-parter on JAG—as well as the spinoffs that already exist, and ahead to the 1,000th episode itself and the two new shows still to come (the prequel Origins and the not-yet-titled Tony and Ziva series set in Europe). NCIS is currently in its 21st season and Hawai’i its third. Sydney is coming back for a second. Los Angeles aired 14 seasons, while New Orleans ended after seven.

Below, we’ve rounded up all the fun reveals from the special.

Cast’s Most Shocking Moments

Over the years and across the shows, there have been some unbelievable moments, from deaths to big relationship steps to major returns. And just like fans, the stars have the ones that surprised them the most.

Both Sean Murray (McGee) and Brian Dietzen (Dr. Palmer) name Kate’s (Sasha Alexander) death at the end of Season 2. “No one saw it coming—except if you go back and you look at the actual footage, you see Michael Weatherly [flinch] before she gets shot because he knows a burst of blood is about to hit his face,” Dietzen adds.

CBS

Rocky Carroll (Vance) says his character’s wife being killed off, while Noah Mills (Jesse) points to Tennant (Vanessa Lachey) getting her arm broken in the Hawai’i Season 2 finale.

For Diona Reasonover (Kasie), hers is probably the same as many fans’: Ziva’s (Cote de Pablo) return in the Season 16 finale after she’d been presumed dead. “They didn’t tell me. I found out with America, and boy was I surprised,” Reasonover recalls. “I literally pulled the script up on my phone and was like, ‘That’s not supposed to happen.’”

Mark Harmon Made It All Possible

ET‘s Kevin Frazier, who hosts the special notes, “None of it would have been possible without the distinguished service of this man, who seemed to know right from the start just where the series was going.”

Gary Cole, whose Parker has taken as team leader following Harmon’s Gibbs retiring to Alaska, says, “He’s the reason the show got on the air, pure and simple. Solid movie career going. He was a go-to series lead actor.”

Weatherly (Tony) recalls the first thing Harmon said to him: “‘You eat lunch with the crew.’ And it wasn’t a question.”

In a 2003 interview, shown during the special, Harmon said, “This show will work as a team or go down as a team, and that’s how I’ve always looked at it.” (We’ve seen how true that is over the years with the various cast changes.)

NCIS‘ Early Days, Starting With JAG

Weatherly notes that he did over 300 episodes of the mothership (he’ll be returning in the upcoming Paramount+ spinoff about Tony and Ziva) and what stuck with him from his first day on set. “In the middle of my first paragraph, [creator] Don Bellisario walked onto the set and said, ‘What are you doing, modeling? Don’t just stand there. Surprise me! Entertain me!’ and I just changed my simple thing, which was I didn’t care who found me entertaining. I just entertained myself, and I’ve been doing that ever since.”

Two JAG Season 8 episodes introduced the characters of Gibbs, Tony, Ducky (the late David McCallum), and Abby (Pauley Perrette), who would go on to be part of NCIS. They were joined by Robyn Lively as Vivian Blackadder, who didn’t make it to NCIS—and is the role that Jennifer Aniston had been considered for. (Harrison Ford, Alec Baldwin, Kevin Bacon, Andrew McCarthy, and Patrick Swayze‘s names were all brought up to possibly play Gibbs.)

Harmon reveals that his character almost had a different name. “I read Leroy Jethro Gibbs and I said, ‘Wow, I like that name.’ Then for a brief second when I’d decided I really liked the idea and the project, the name changed. All of a sudden it was Bob Johnson or something like that,” he shares. “I just went, ‘What? No, it’s gotta be Leroy Jethro Gibbs,’ and the creator said, ‘No, you can’t play a guy named Leroy Jethro Gibbs.’ I said, ‘Why not?’ Then it went back, so I was happy about that.”

Originally, NCIS was pitched as Law & Order in the navy, half case and half courtroom, according to Frazier. But the investigation part tested best with audiences, who were also impressed with Harmon.

“Because it was two episodes of JAG, it wasn’t really a proper pilot,” says Weatherly. “And even when we started airing, they called it Navy NCIS, which is Navy Naval Criminal Investigative Service. You can’t make that up.”

Remembering David McCallum

NCIS Season 21 paid tribute to McCallum and his character with its second episode, which saw a surprise return from Weatherly, reprising his role as Tony. “That was a very emotional day, seeing everybody,” Weatherly says. “Not a dry eye on that set.”

According to Carroll, “David McCallum was 70 years old when the series started, 21 years ago. And the story goes he told his wife, ‘I’m 70 years old. What if this show goes seven years? That’s a long time.’ And he ended up being with the show for 20 seasons.”

What’s to Come in Episode 1,000, Prequel Origins & Tiva Spinoff

First of all, the good thing about the ever-growing franchise is that characters from shows that ended could easily come back; LA‘s LL COOL J is currently recurring in Hawai’i Season 3. Eric Christian Olsen (Deeks on LA) does point out in the special, “I’ve always said that Marty Deeks ain’t dead. I think there’s plenty of room for these characters to come back.” And Harmon acknowledges that he’s asked “a lot” about returning.

Harmon is returning to the franchise, in a way—as narrator and executive producer on the prequel Origins, following Gibbs beginning in 1991 as he starts his career as a newly minted special agent at the fledgling NIS Camp Pendleton office where he forges his place on a gritty, ragtag team led by NCIS legend Mike Franks.

“I think seeing Gibbs coming up as a young guy is going to be fantastic,” says Murray. Weatherly suggests, “maybe Mark Harmon can play Gibbs’ father.”

As for the Tony and Ziva spinoff coming to Paramount+, they’ve been raising their daughter, Tali, together. When Tony’s security company is attacked, they must go on the run across Europe, try to figure out who is after them, and maybe even learn to trust each other again so that they can finally have their unconventional happily ever after.

“Cote de Pablo and I are also getting ready. Moving to Budapest for the summer of 2024, and it is Tony and Ziva now trying to raise their tween daughter and save the world. What could go wrong?” Weatherly asks. “We’re incredibly happy to be making something for the streaming platform because it gives you a little bit more latitude and shooting overseas.”

But first, there’s the 1,000th episode of the franchise, NCIS‘ “A Thousand Yards,” NCIS comes under attack by a mysterious enemy from the past. Also, Vance tries to mend fences with his estranged son by explaining why, despite the ongoing dangers of his job, he still chooses to stay at NCIS.

“All of NCIS is suddenly put under attack, so now you get to see NCIS: Hawai’i, NCIS: LA, NCIS: Sydney coming in to help,” teases Katrina Law (Knight). We already know Lachey and LA‘s Daniela Ruah (Kensi) are guest starring.

[toinfinitywinning]

What you see & hear- or even if you can. Just a cover.

Open it? There’s no tellin’ the worm. But you bought the ticket. It’s your Day 1.

They’re gonna try to break you.

Yk every Day I wake up. And I’m scared of it. Don’t want to. And not b/c im warm in my bed snuggling w/ my feather duvet and rain, with the weight of a horse on my legs play pretending he’s a 3 lb Show shhnowzaa but b/c I’ve already, already lived it. And having been in a constant State of fight or flight, normal or abnormal, sometimes u can’t tell —I still feel bad. W/e differentiation you had to separate the two both ended up at the North Pole but you’ve at least got Santa.

So this means I’m confused all Day but I still want some of Michael’s Secret Stuff Gatorade (haterade) from “welcome to the space jam—alright.” 🎵. To get me through. A safe energy drink. And your body doesn’t ☊ anymore so the more you talk to yourself the saner. It’s just I’ve never had to fake I’m physically okay to be present so much. Physical sickness affects ur mind Health and if you already struggle w/ that my condolences b/c your leg hurts too.

It’s a nightmare never 1-upping to a dream of being without. Then some days it’s will hear a song or remember a Good time or just Start crying-faucet not included. No acute-reason onset. (We gotta find another word for trigger no joke). I only subconsciously wonder will today be better…Will I get better? And I don’t know why I continue to continue being somewhere inbtw positive and negative. All the sudden my mind is taxed and so are your paychecks and I’ve been up for 15 minutes not even thinking I was thinking b/c Truth is, when something becomes your reality for such a Long time, everything just runs together. You’re afraid to feel anything yet know if you don’t it’s not just your body ready to atrophy. Not Good. And it’s a sneaky lil’ mf.

I can’t Imagine the omnipresent (best word for constant I got) Pain people feel having been with Illness their whole lives. How differently their world is shaped. Pain, prolonged cynicism, Illness prolonged, disability prolonged, w/e u used to think about things is gone unless you’re born one of these ways. Now to be clear I was born this Way but not THIS Way don’t get it twisted. Some days I wonder what it would be like to swap around. W/e it is—This presence does not belong to God— but maybe its mere existence really does b/c we won’t have anyone to thank if things get better? And there’s no joy in the things we’ve hoped for and overcome? And everything always has an End result of some kind…Right? If that’s my endgame I can only look at some things very matter of fact-ly. But. Here we are. Pending. Loading. Accept All Cookies. Your Health for potential healing is At the mercy of literally a button click away from quality or lifesaving or changing Medicine or therapy. CAN YOU AFFORD TO STAY ALIVE? Be fired? Bankrupt-ed? Evicted? No college, no trade School, but you work ur butt off to provide but you’re still paid $7.25/hr as I was as head intramural supervisor at Georgetown College. 15 years ago. Not just that, exist, like eating, clothes to wear, some sort of roof. So you’re choosing between crappy and crappier. Literally no difference. How in the is someone even going to try to stay healthy?!

Thankfully I don’t have to worry as much about the material, which, its Stress alone induces more trauma and Anxiety, but I’d bet how we feel physically isn’t too different. All the sudden again in the subconscious where I am all the time I’m figuring and not truly present you really think existentially like how in not God’s name clearly did I get here? I fixed everything. But Life isn’t played by a claw that has never won anybody a teddy bear. I wouldn’t pin karma to me in itself but it sure makes you think.

None of this is about to make sense but it’s where my mind took me.

Think about what was happening in your Life before things changed. Before literally waking up one Morning and knowing that very second things had to change or I was headed toward death a lot faster than I thought until that God moment. I don’t have many of them that are that dramatic but nothing was clearer to me in that moment. And then that Damn bat and conspiracy crap of government population control. If anthrax was sprinkled in Amazon boxes we’d be extinct. But Pretty sure we know how to get rid of people without breaking a beaker or test tube and then turning on a fan just gifting particles. And Unraveling ALL of the many ways of healing I’d finally lived into. I was so close. To every Fk up id invited. And so asking why anymore seems vacant. Echoing. And my ears hurt. ATP I’m More so saying well, I’m not sure that strategy is going to work anymore. Where’s the ღ in Health. It’s lost it. How much are you worth? No, like write down a monetary number on a piece of paper, fold it and slide it across the desk. Insurance companies be like: I see your offer and I’ll raise your offer: have you tried dying yet? B/c you could save a lot of money that way. The money it will take to bury you might even be more deadly.

So The most defeating part is beginning the Day as it ends. When I think about that it’s just like how did I get here? I’m still stubborn about it but maybe regardless of w/e someone accomplishes there’s the reality you’re still living in an imperfect world where you can only control so many things. Even if u gain that control back all those traps R still available. So you can Imagine my surprise when there’s not enough OCD to Go around to control THIS. regardless of what we can have control over, do that, b/c the smaller victories become magnified and walking to the kitchen to take your Meds that may or may not be helping is like an 8-ball w/ only 8 options. Eenie meenie miney. Mo.

I don’t set out to cry or tear up in the videos I share. I’ve always been a cryer. I’ve been told I feel things more intensely so it hits different, does different. The direct quote will remain anonymous but the sentimental pack rat in me wrote it down ASAP. Like, a handwritten letter. You took TIME for me. The quote—It was several years ago and I almost can’t stand it b/c it’s me in whatever kind of Shell is available at the time.

[“people perceive me as an individual who has the kindest of all hearts, but who struggles with the realities of life given that kindness…Like how the tenderhearted feel the pains of the earth more intensely.”]

It’s so true. But if I can’t be real what Good’s that gonna do? For me it further affirms what I already am living. In Edgar’s scary A** pit or with the company of not one canary in the coal mine.

C’ya in the AM. 🫡

[melodxi]

I’d like to learn more about your guys so!

THE ROYAL - Does your oc respect their parents? Are their parents worthy of that respect or lack of respect?

THE HERO - What motivates your oc?

for anyone you think has an interesting answer ^^

hello hello!! thank you for asking ^^ looong post ahead. really long.

ask game link here

——

THE ROYAL - Does your oc respect their parents? Are their parents worthy of that respect or lack of respect?

yeah so very stupid fun fact i rarely create actual blood-related parents i know im slacking skdfhskjds. hence i will take the definition of parents to be quite wide so that i can fill this question up for as many ocs as possible

elowen, haley, and all things past present - i highly recommend reading the poem ‘my father’s birthday is the day before mine’ by michael prior because that’s what i’ve currently been obsessing over! 

[subject to change] elowen, the main parental figure i have commits un-generational trauma and is just absolutely terrible at it lmao. he was raised with a rich father and a capable mother who just so happened to love the guy…case in point, in the au his father’s gone and him and his mother are dirt-poor, but at least it’s better somewhat. his father would train him to be formal and elowen would at least respect that to a certain extent, working hard on his own. but then yknow. rich people problems and the issue of Heirs. the route his father wants is unfortunately not what he wants, though of course he understands. he expresses that very openly and makes the decision to leave albeit not without consequence. he leans more to his mother’s demeanour than his father, despite both showing quite prevalently…i think this is a case of respectful disrespect probably. his parents are decently worthy but every parent has their flaws 

as for haley, he falls into a similar case where there’s an almost uncanny, resolute respect towards his “father”, elowen which fluctuates a LOT throughout the story, though the devotion stays. the most prominent example i could give might be that haley does kill him in the end because there’s too many conflicting emotions, mistake upon mistake upon the contradiction that both of them were unable to make each other into what they truly wanted in time. something something the absence of something is also its presence. it’s rather impossible to describe.

bonus haley and ria’s relationship…well, haley plays the role of parent because that’s all he’s ever seen, even if he is quite underqualified to even be considered that. ria respects him so very much but acknowledges he has flaws. sometimes their relationship switches and she’s somehow the more mature one. but long story short, haley is very much worthy of her respect and actively works to keep it that way. good job haley you get a gold star and a tight slap to the face

verrill - well. it’s his grandparent. grandfather to be exact. verrill does not respect him, to say the least (or most other people) since like. guarin stands against every single one of his morals, quite literally, as the official guard. it’s hard to say if he’s worthy or not because he’s doing his job but his job is also not a very good job persay, even if it is in a sense. as in. guarin indirectly causes an apocalypse because of his association with verrill allowing verrill to even commit the events after. idk how else to explain this LMAO

telios - yes! very…but that’s what they convince themself. for them unlike most of my other ocs it’s less of a respect -> disrespect/less respect timeline but more of a respect -> doubt/questioning but doesn’t become any less respected. local traumatized pushes the blame onto themself instead

itaph - ooookay this one’s funky because well. they respect them since they don’t know any better, they knew the bare minimum of the other side of the story. yknow the drill fact remains that tradition and society sucks and can drive people to do Things ie. send their child away to unspecified location and never bother checking up since once again that’s tradition. this changes quite drastically along the plot to the point where there is straight up negative respect

0wnh - hey space google what to do if your adoptive mother is the queen hivemind and modifies you quite literally to fit her ideals. hey space google what to do if you’re going to take over her place one day. there is respect in the sense it is literally coded into wiring and the brain. once again it is considerably difficult to deem their parent as worthy or unworthy but i think it leans more into the worthy part. by which i mean blatant favoritism by hivemind and an absence of choice (it’s okay! they get freed from her influence! spoiler alert their view on the r/s gets considerably more confusing and incomprehensible to anything other than them)

dacre - his father is the leader of a vaguely cult-like international guild idk what to say honestly. dacre is treated more like a tool even though he’s of the same tier within the hierarchy and he absolutely Hates it. ditches his position the moment he decides the ship’s captain is considerably more worthy of respect, yet the way he was brought up means that the respect cannot truly be curbed, unfortunately

ketil - though they do have grandparents the whole village basically adopted them lmao. shockingly happy times with everyone. they respected the others and others respected them in return. what do the dead think of them, now? right place and a time so wrong it was somehow right i fear

xayagi - dear god not another traditionalist family. she’s part of the chicken bloodline heritage so yknow. chickenfight. she won because she’s girlboss but also there really isn’t a definition of parents for her since she’s never truly seen them. it’s just respect until proven otherwise. she keeps searching, still.

life update after finishing all these asks i realise writing parents is more interesting than it seems…so diverse…how to make this more of my ocs’ Issues

——

THE HERO - What motivates your oc?

interesting question…will answer for newest storyline i have barely spoken of (TETHER) + fantasy ocs

roxiva - on all accords she just wants a little more chaos in her life. “generic” mad scientist stereotype if you will. she wants results, results, results. or maybe she’s simply looking for any sort of sign that there’s more out there.

senka - peoplepleaser-esque attitude, honestly, even if not quite. at this point they just completely drown themself in work and claim it as motivation, albeit a hollow sort. deep down, they want to truly live, to make the most of their life, but that’s just a far-off dream. not much that keeps them going.

0wnh - knowledge motivates them. as mentioned previously it’s the lingering traces of the hive (and humanity, but that they don’t realise) that causes them to want that, a sort of compulsion. they want to understand. they think they want to go back to the past.

daidiao - his ideals, as far-fetched as they are (though if anyone asked him, his answer would be ‘money’). daidiao still thinks he can do things the way he did as a child, but untrained manipulation powers can only get one so far. it’s this broken hope that keeps him going.

daitiao - ^^daidiao! his “twin”, or as much a doppelganger might claim. when you learn so much about someone there’s not much you want to do but go on to learn more. if the other so wants, so it shall be. daidiao’s motivation becomes his, and twists into something new somewhere along the way.

kui - they claim it’s ‘power’, but they don’t actually know what they want. their motivation was thrown to the ground and trampled on until it mutated off the deep end, so they result to interactions in the hopes of getting something out of it. it’s not very good for them.

ancent - the ends justify the means something something not quite. it’s less of motivation and more on brute force so idk how to phrase this question well enough in this case

yiv - is also brute forcing her way into having a specific motivation honestly. the model answer would be the leaderboards and while she does want that it’s kinda. dull after certain plot events, not counting the treatment towards her. smile for the cameras, she supposes? she’d find a way out if she even knew where to start

//

annnd a few extra reverie (story) ocs i have!!!!

aspho - would give the generic “it’s my job” answer if asked, but after main plot starts and they slowly begin to get used to mortals that abruptly becomes their motivation one day. least apathetic god of death actually. before main plot they’d burn themself out so badly trying to find a purpose but hey, now they do

ketil - would also give the generic “it’s my job” answer if asked and is actually not lying in the slightest they’re quite convinced of that as a motivation. local dumbass after a specific major event thinks that if they read and sort through enough items in the library that’s supposedly meant to one day contain all the knowledge in the world they can somehow against all odds find the meaning of the universe or so and so.

min - it’s like. indirect peer pressure? if the “peer” happens to be a god? that’s pretty much the only force that directs them to a specific goal though because other than that they just use life as a motivation, along with the drive to do well in their duties as part of the local council

xayagi - spite. turbulent, roiling spite. and i quote she is forever stuck in the anger-bargaining stage of grief, lives with it and makes it work in her favour. if she goes down she damn well will go down with a bang and until then she goes on with that mindset, the supposed inevitability driving her forward and forward

ercelde - his surface motivation is very shallow since it’s based off the indirect thrill of other people’s emotions affecting his. he isn’t particularly motivated by knowledge itself but rather the process of understanding and interpreting that knowledge. as a bonus his enneagram is the nonconformist (8w7) so do with that as you will LMAO (his backstory is probably the most wip out of everyone here)

——

THIS WAS REALLY FUN TO ANSWER THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN !!!! you’re the best

[chevelleneech]

Even though Sammie is who the story opens and ends with, I wouldn’t say he’s the lead, because to me, the story focuses on the tragedy that is the life of the twins. We learn more about them than anyone else. So I’d say Michael is the lead actor, with Miles as supporting.

As for lead actress, the only correct answer is Wunmi, lol. Annie was extremely integral to the story, and without her the others literally would not have survived as long as they did. Hailee, I don’t think is lead nor supporting. She did a good job, but I don’t think she boosted the story anymore than Li or Yao did as Grace and Bo, or Jayme as Pearline, and absolutely no one reads any of them as supporting. They are, of course, but their names aren’t showing up in the same conversations. Hailee’s is, because she’s white and well established.

If we’re talking award submissions however, I still think Mbj for lead actor, because he fronted to promotions, was top billed, first on the call-sheet, and again, the story (to me) centered on the twins.

For supporting, I think Delroy Lindo will be the main one nominated if the movie gets any. Miles was great in his debut, to the point where I think most of us just assumed we hadn’t seen his other roles, but…I do think he’s unfortunately too fresh faced in a film where his “competition” is Delroy Lindo and Michal B. Jordan. I do think he’ll get noms, but I’m not sure he’ll nab the wins. However, I do think he could sweep Rising Star/Newcomer awards.

As for best actress categories, I do not think Wunmi will be getting nominated for lead. She should, but I think they’ll view her chances as being higher in supporting, as that’s typically what happens with Black actresses who would be going up against the usual suspects when it comes to awards season. I think she’ll be nominated alongside Hailee as well, because even though I stand by what I said above, there’s no way she’s not submitting for at least supporting. Lead would be kinda delusional, but we never know. Her pr is very favorable surrounding this role.

who is the leading actor/ supporting actor of sinners for you and who is the leading actress/ supporting actress?

(to me)

leading actor: miles caton

supporting actor: mbj

leading actress: wunmi

supporting actress: hailee

my reasoning’s are because the story is quite literally told through sammie’s lens and annie’s narration. sure her and hailee are love interests to the twins, and yes they are much more to that. we can debate who is more integral but i do believe it’s annie (wunmi). it even appears that wunmi gets more dialogue, even if it’s repeated.

[percontaion-points]

Clawless chapters 7 & 8

Today's review might be difficult for some; reader discretion is advised

Click to see the rest of the snark & image descriptions

Click here for the rest of the series!

Chapter 7

I grimaced, hating the way my heart clenched at the memory of the black Hummer reversing out of the gates at high speed. I’d been horrified to find myself back at Hunter Moon Academy, but Gabriel Michaels had practically broken the land speed record to leave me here. My cheeks heated as I remembered the way I’d begged him to take me anywhere else. All while Reed Marshall had looked on without expression.

Can’t have a bully romance without the bully, I guess.

Literally the only reason why she’s even back here, as far as I can figure. 

I’d watched him read that birth certificate last night, his only reaction a slight downward twitch of his mouth. It was clearly my ticket back into the academy and he’d accepted it at face value. But knowing how Gabriel Michaels operated, it was probably as bogus as every other clue about my past.

Okay, thank you for this.

I’m still anticipating that Vail isn’t even a wolf, the way that everybody acted about her in the first book. 

Ugh. After avoiding the Barakat drug empire for years, I was now the poster child for the dangers of chemical substances.

Having somebody slip you a pill in your burger is hardly the same as doing heroin. You know that… Right?

Marnie shrugged, but her shadowed eyes didn’t leave my face. “Seems the new Arras Alpha wants to address the whole school.”

Chapter 7 summary: Vail wakes up and muses a lot about what recently happened to her. Since we literally read all of this, all from her POV, it’s kind of pointless and redundant. Outside, there’s a different guard on duty, who introduces himself as Marnie’s brother, Carter. He says that Marnie has been worried about Vail, and that he’ll try to sneak his sister in to see her. 

Vail goes into the breakfast room, which is obviously a lot nicer than the dud breakfast room. They have real food here, not simply “stale Poptarts”. In there, she meets back up with Jasmine and Nadia, two of the omegas who she befriended at the end of the first book. Jasmine says that there’s a lot of nasty rumours swirling around about Vail, but most of them are spread by Pearl, to the surprise of nobody. However, those who knew Vail don’t believe them for a second. 

Carter sneaks Marnie in. The girls then explain that Jasper hasn’t been on campus since he killed his dad, but that he’s probably busy with pack leader stuff, so this isn’t all that surprising. But the new principal wants to have a school-wide assembly today. But Carter goes on to say that the new alpha (Jasper) wants to talk to everybody. 

Chapter 8

I wish I’d asked Gabriel Michaels more questions about the scent shield. Maybe it was just a freak reaction. I thought I’d taken too much and made myself sick. And Mr. Wentworth had said it might have become mixed up with my first attempt at a shift. But these were all just theories, and I couldn’t see any one of them wiping the disgust from the eyes of Jasper’s best friends

Against all better judgement on my part, I’m still holding onto hope that her reaction towards the scent shield/moon fire would end up being because she isn’t actually a wolf. 

It’s literally the only thing I can think of that would somehow make all of this insufferably nonsense somehow slightly better. 

“Everyone but the omegas, you’re dismissed.”

Chapter 8 summary: There’s a brief moment when Vail is introduced to the head omega of her new family pack, Penny. And Vail also has to switch from wearing a green uniform to a red one, to signal that she actually belongs to the Marrow pack, instead of the Arras pack. 

They go to the auditorium, where Vail looks around at everybody. She’s glad that she’s now in the same pack as Marnie, but hates the way that she’s gotten there. She’s also upset to realise that Mr. Wentworth isn’t with the other teachers, and hopes that he wasn’t punished because of her. 

The new principal comes out, and introduces himself as Mr. Bregman. (The previous one had been fired/punished for having sent Vail to the lab by Jasper at the end of the first book.) He says that an omega was attacked by the Black Den Pack, and although it happened off-campus, it’s still obviously worrying. Yes, he’s talking about Vail. He’s going to force the omegas to take self-defence classes from here on out. 

Jasper then comes out, and so much fucking time is spent on him literally walking onto the stage and glowering at everybody. I’m not even joking; it’s fucking ridiculous. He says that on top of the increased guards on campus, he’s also going to put tracking devices on all of the omegas. This is obviously unwelcome news to the omegas, and Mr. B has to jump in and say that all of the clan alphas have already agreed to this. 

[boyswillbedogz]

heyyyy heres a script for a speech on trans rights i have to give in class soon

any suggestions or criticisms are helpful, it has to be between 2-3 minutes and rn measures at roughly 2:50

There are ten stages of genocide. I was nine years old when I realized for the first time that I was in the middle of number six, and a just a few months ago it dawned on me that we’re now in stage eight: active genocide. They. Are. Killing us. And you – yes you –  can do something about it, but are making the active choice not to. 

Us being transgender people. Transgender is defined by the American Psychological Association as “an umbrella term for persons whose gender identity, gender expression or behavior does not conform to that typically associated with the sex to which they were assigned at birth.”

My name is {irl name}. I’m trans, I know, looking back, that I always have been but when I was nine I gained a word to put to it. I use he/him pronouns even though my birth certificate says I’m a girl. But I’m so much more than that simple contradiction. I’m a person. I like sharks and drawing and playing doom. I want to be a tattoo artist when I’m older. I laugh and I cry and I’m a human being.

But some people don’t see it that way.

A conservative political action conference speaker, Michael Knowles, said this year on camera; “Transgenderism must be eradicated.” Yet, he goes back. Claims that when he says this he’s not saying that trans people should be eradicated, just the ideology. 

But that’s simply not how it works, and this is the leadup to the excuse of a literal mass murdering. You can’t kill the idea of being gay, only gay people. And that’s what they’re doing, and that’s what they did.

And they have no arguments except the ones being recycled from the attack on gay people. We’re not delusional, a study by the National Institute of Health shows that the brains of trans women more resemble the female sex. And even if that wasn’t the case: gender isn’t real. Sex is but even then it’s not that black and white because there are women with XY chromosomes and high testosterone and vice versa. Gender is a social construct just like money and language and therefore is flexible. DIfferent countries have entirely different ideas of sex and gender. There is so much evidence against transphobic arguments that prove It’s not because you are thinking of the children or because we wish you harm, it's because you are scared of what does not align with your concept of normal. 

This basic, basic level of respect that we have to stoop down to beg people for is something that can literally save lives. And they turn their heads and say we’re throwing a fit over nothing.they call it ‘trans activists throwing fits over nothing’ even though The National Institute of Health tells us that data indicates that 82% of transgender individuals have considered killing themselves and 40% have attempted suicide, with suicidality highest among transgender youth. Is that something enough or do you not care for the lives of our youth? What happened to think of the children?

I’m one of the children. Just last year I was violently suicidal because I could not see my future in America as a trans person, especially not a black trans person. My future looked bleak in a country where police brutality, homelessness, poverty, bullying, depression, and violent discrimination were all things I’d probably be subject to. Thursday, February 10th, 2022, I tried to kill myself. I went to school the next morning without telling anyone, stuck with this horrible dread in my stomach. I’m in therapy now and doing hugely better, but that doesn’t negate the point that I was so painfully aware that my country actively hated me that I wanted to kill myself. 

But it’s not inevitable. You don’t have to go give speeches in front of courts, but you can do something. Support the trans people in your life, be a safe space as a person because there are people in this very school genuinely scared to come out because of the environment we have created. Do research, care. Donate to things like The Trevor Project which will do the talking for you and put money towards mental health for queer teens. We are dying but we are not a hopeless cause. You can do something. Doing nothing will lead to some poor child sitting and watching the news and realizing that we are in stage ten of transgender genocide. Doing nothing will kill us.

[serenefreakgeekao3]

Can we get a Jim Halpert x short!gn!reader who is just enamored with how much Taller Jim is than them. Like sometimes when they’re trying to reach up for something he suddenly just lefts them up so they can grab it, or if someone is bothering them he uses his hight to be intimating, and they just swoon. <3

Summary: Being the shortest person at Dunder Mifflin comes with a lot of problems- one namely being your boss, Michael Scott, who thinks he must be the newest and brightest comedian of their century. Spoiler alert: He’s really not. Warnings: short jokes (beware),  A/N: So i’ve been called short maybe once or twice, but to be completely honest I’m literally at the ‘average’ mark on the scale so i’m just here, existing in neither shortness nor tallness. However, i’ve always heard the ‘short jokes’ are unending so I figured I’d base it on that? Sorry i know they’re annoying, but hopefully Jim’s sweetness makes up for it

“Aha! There they are!” Michael calls out just as you enter, and you feel a deep sense of regret begin billowing into your stomach. “Winner of the shortest person award!” Michael’s laughter was boisterous, making you want to cringe away from him and just make it to your desk. Just make it there, at the very least. You did literally just walk into work, you haven’t even set your briefcase down yet. Michael thankfully jumps away from you, approaching accounting. “I’m surprised you’re not starting a real cat fight Angela, with how Y/N over there stole your special office title!”

“My official title is ‘Accountant,’ Michael,” Angela reminds him in a wary voice, huffing her displeasure at being spoken to. Michael just laughs and begins shrugging his shoulder against Angela’s own as if they shared a common joke. Angela just looks on in disgust as Michael continues on.

“Catfight, get it? ‘Cause you’re the cat lady!” Angela only scoffs and Michael continues his boisterous laugh, turning and making his way back to his office.

“Michael, don’t forget,” Pam calls out behind you as you place your bag onto your desk, the solo desk in the Quality Assurance position at Dunder Mifflin. You turn to watch this interaction, Pam looking frustrated as she shakes a wad of papers at the man. “You have that appointment with corporate in-”

“Don’t tell me what I do and don’t have Pam, god!” Michael pushes the wad of papers away and storms into his office, and you still can’t for the life of you figure out how Michael can switch between emotions so quickly. Your eyes scan the room- mostly the sales department- and wonder about where half of the team had wandered off to. Stanley remained sitting at his desk, but it seemed as if the rest of them had disappeared. You hear a quick ‘Psst!’ and turn to lock eyes with Pam, making your way over at a wave from her.

“Michael came out here before you got here, said something about a massive sale that he needed all of his sales associates to go on.” Pam stage-whispered over to you, and you nod along slowly.

“Ah, that makes sense-”

“So, yeah, that’s where Jim is.”

“Pam-” You start, looking around nervously before skirting around her desk to see her more eye-to-eye without having to stand on your toes. “Shush up! I told you that in confidence!” You watch Pam giggle, placing a hand to her mouth as she does.

“Oh I know,” Pam nods with wide eyes, leaning against her desk faux-casually as she watches you. “Just like Jim told me in confidence that-”

“What’s a couple of short stacks doing back behind this huge desk?” Jim’s voice emanates suddenly from behind you and you jump, turning with wide eyes toward him. He seems to be locking eyes with Pam, who giggles once more with her hand covering her mouth. You couldn’t quite translate Jim’s look to her, but it held some sort of meaning you were sure.

“Oh! Hey Jim! I thought you had that sales thing?” Jim raises an eyebrow toward you, crossing his arms with a smirk.

“I did but then I coughed at Dwight and got out of it. Figured they had enough people as is- but the real question here is: How did you know about the sales call? You weren’t in here when Michael announced it.”

“Watching for me, Jim?” You tease, circling the desk and making your way back to your own. Jim quickly skirted around the desk, following behind you.

“Well, yeah, obviously. You’re so tiny I have to know where you are so I don’t trip over you.” You groan at yet another short joke, rolling your eyes and turning to look at him with an unimpressed look. “But you didn’t answer my question.”

“Pam told me where you- where all the sales associates went.”

“Asking after me, Y/L/N?” You scoff loudly, turning to lean yourself against your desk, crossing your arms up at Jim.

“Pam volunteered the information, thank you very much.” You look up into Jim’s eyes and can’t help but feel shrouded by his form. He takes another step closer, pushing you over slightly to lean against your desk himself, and hunching toward you whether he realized it or not. He acted as a sort of shield from the rest of the office, which some days you definitely felt like you needed.

“And why would Pam do something like that?” Jim’s voice was quieter like he was accounting for the new distance- or lack thereof. You stare into his hazel eyes, swallowing roughly. You couldn’t help but feel safe in the shield of comfort that he provided.

“Perhaps because half of the room’s occupants were not seated at their usual desks, which is a rather odd occurrence for a day at work.” You turn, grabbing a random handful of papers and tapping them on your desk. “Speaking of, isn’t that something you should be doing?” Jim laughs, pushing himself to stand from your desk before turning and saluting at you, walking backwards back to his own desk.

“Touche, Y/N!”

“Watch where you’re going!” You didn’t mean to sound too worried as you called it out, but Jim just chuckled, shrugging toward you.

“Why? I’m already keeping my eye on one safety hazard.”

“Yes, because I’m so short, ha ha.”

Coffee.

That’s what you needed today was coffee. Perhaps multiple cups to get through this shitshow of a day. After Michael’s brilliant start to the day with the short jokes, it seemed he had retired to his room solely to come up with more jokes to torture you with. You weren’t sure why it was your turn to take all of Michael’s attention, but you were ready to throw in the towel and leave early for the day already. You could just start over tomorrow morning, no harm no foul! Except then Michael would cry because he didn’t think you liked his jokes- which you don’t- and then you’d have to deal with consoling him for a solid hour before he eventually yelled that he didn’t need pity, and you would respond that it’s not pity- which it was- and spend another hour consoling him of that as well. You would know- it’s happened before.

And now you didn’t even have Jim around to curb the jokes or turn them into something that was actually funny. After your play-fight with Jim, he was then swiped away by Stanley- who apparently was the last one of the sales associates left only because he had his own sales call to go on. He had begged Jim to tag along, and of course the man agreed considering how nice he is. What wasn’t nice was leaving you alone with Michael when- well, just ever really. So if you look at it that way, it really all was Jim’s fault. Stupid Jim.

You shook your head, waking yourself from your daydream as you stared at the coffee pot, urging it to brew faster. It was already filled with half a pot, and you knew technically you should wait for the full pot to brew before pouring any but you really needed caffeine in your life immediately. You wandered over to the drainer by the sink to grab a cup, then hesitated as you realized there were no cups laying there. There were no dishes at all, actually, indicating someone actually came in here and took the time to put the dishes away. That’d normally be a good and nice thing, aside from the fact that you were too short to reach the cabinets above the counter where the mugs were all stored. Sighing, you turn to look for the step stool you usually keep around. (Technically it was the office’s step stool, but you were the only one that ever had to use it.)

It wasn’t where you left it, over to the side of the counter and next to the table. Looking around the room, you couldn’t spot it still. You checked the bathroom, thinking maybe it was in there- there had been a time or two it was moved in there either for use or for storage- but you couldn’t find it there either. You didn’t bother to check the other bathroom, just huffing to yourself and placing your hands on your hips. Glaring upward at the cabinets above the sink, you will the doors to open and a cup to float down by itself. Then when that didn’t work, you got to work trying to stand on your toes and reach up. The handle to the door was just out of your reach, but you should be able to swipe it open, maybe-

You startled at a large hand intercepting your own, swiping you out of the way and opening the door. You set yourself off of your tip-toes, flat-footed now only to turn and notice Jim pressing you in close to the kitchen counter as he reaches above you. He pulls down a mug- your favourite mug, no less- and places it on the counter beside you. You were able to turn around in place, but Jim only places his hands on the counter to either side of you, blocking you in.

“You should ask for help next time,” Jim whispers down to you, and looking up into his hazel eyes has your heart doing funny things. Maybe it’s the crush you have, maybe you’ve just developed some sort of heart-stuttering problem that you’d need to get checked out, but with Jim’s proximity, you couldn’t really think straight to debate either at the moment. You bit your lip, glancing at your cup and back up to him before finally finding your voice.

“I had that perfectly fine-”

“You couldn’t even reach the door, Y/L/N.”

“Well, I’ll have you know I was trying to get two cups, so,” You were just about to turn when Jim lifted his gaze finally. You felt like you could finally breathe- for the one whole second it took for Jim to lean forward into your space to reach above your head. He pulled down another mug to set on the counter, and you pull in a deep breath full of his scent that only serves to make you dizzier. You lift your gaze to him again, shaking your head. “No, I just meant-”

“What, three cups?”

“Maybe,” You mumble out, turning to face the kitchen counter again. You reach up to try your own hand- you would not be two-upped by him- and it’s an even worse predicament than before. At least with the door handle you had even a chance, and right now you couldn’t even reach to touch the bottom of the cupboard. Attempting to stretch yourself further, already on your tip-toes, you were just about to give up when you felt two large hands grab right under your armpits. They heave you up, and suddenly you’re at a height that you’d never really seen this room at before. Quickly reaching forward, you take two more mugs into your hands before the hands slowly set you back down on your feet.

‘Holy hells, how strong is he?’ You think to yourself, turning to lift your gaze back up to Jim. He was smiling, likely on the verge of laughter, though he had yet to. You could feel your face heating up and knew that blush was lighting up your face. What were you supposed to do now? Jim just picked you up, how do you move on from that?

“Four cups?” Jim questions you as he reaches forward to one of the new ones you had grabbed, taking it from your hand to turn it over in his own. He probably chose to grab that one as it was the one you had seen him use the most often, you figured it might be his favourite. You hoped so at least, considering he was able to grab your favourite after just one try.

“Three,” You admit quietly, turning to watch the last of the coffee brew into the pot, “I grabbed an extra in case you wanted some.” Jim’s head shot up to look at you, and you tilted your head in confusion at the reaction. His eyes were wide, and if you didn’t know any better you would’ve said a slight blush was lighting up his own cheeks now. But why would offering him a cup of coffee make him embarrassed? “That’s only if you want some, of course.”

“I do!” He insisted, placing the cup down and spinning it slowly with one hand, staring at you the entire time. You got a little squirmy, reaching out to heft the large coffee pot and begin pouring it into your three cups. “Did you-” You glance briefly up at Jim- who was biting his lip by the gods is he trying to kill you?- before looking quickly back at your task so as to not spill any coffee. “Did you know this was my favourite cup?”

“Yeah,” You replied easily, watching his fingers stop spinning the cup right as you answer. “That’s why I grabbed that one.” You motion the pot over to his cup, watching him jump slightly before sliding his cup over toward you. You pour the coffee before replacing the pot back where it goes. You begin the process of adding sugar and creamer to the cups, sighing softly.

“So, why three cups? You being generous to someone else out there?”

“Nope,” You pop your mouth on the word, smirking up toward Jim before resuming your objective. “I just figured that the minimum amount of coffee I need to complete this day would be three cups, so I’m planning accordingly.” You hear Jim chuckle, smiling softly to yourself and beginning to add the sugar and creamer to Jim’s own- less than you like in yours, but that’s how he normally took it.

“Is that right? Did something happen that’s exhausting you today?”

“Just Michael and his dumb short jokes.”

“Ah,” Jim breathes out, leaning his hip against the counter and looking over his shoulder toward Michael’s office. “Did he do the old ‘appreciate the little things’ one?”

“Followed by a big hug, yep,” You sigh, taking one of the cups and scalding your mouth to take a drink of it. “Had to practically push him off of me.”

“And the miniature golf one?”

“‘Do you just call it regular golf?’” You repeat Michael’s joke from earlier, deepening your voice to mock him. Sighing, you take another large gulp and wince at the temperature. Jim reaches forward, seemingly unconsciously, and slowly lowers your cup to the counter, pushing it away from you. You wonder if he realized you were burning your tongue on it.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. Sounds like a rough day if he’s going all out.”

“Oh, absolutely. He also tried out a new one! ‘Sometimes when I look at short people, I wonder if they’re able to reach their goals!’” You turn at this, huffing out an aggravated breath. You had meant to tell this one as a joke, but just as it had hit you off guard before, it was hitting you again. You tried to keep from tearing up, but really- who wanted to work as Quality Assurance for a paper company? Obviously, you haven’t been able to reach your goals and Michael just unwittingly mocked you for that.

“Hey, hey,” Jim began, reaching an arm out to place against your upper arm, noticing how fragile you suddenly became. “That was uncalled for,” Jim agreed, stepping closer to you to tower over you once more, “I’m sure Michael didn’t mean for it to be that bad, he’s just trying to think up different short puns.” He patted your arm, squeezing it once before continuing, “You know, I wouldn’t be surprised if he had to go to his office to look them up. I bet he didn’t even come up with it on his own.”

You laugh blearily, raising a hand to wipe away a tear that had yet to fall, but almost did. Jim began rubbing your arm up and down, and you lifted your coffee cup once more to take a big gulp. You hear the door to the room open, hoping it wasn’t who you thought it was.

“Oh, there you are!” You hold back a groan at the sound of Michael’s voice, closing your eyes to try and rein in your feelings. “Hey, I have a good one! What do you call it when a short person says goodbye?” You can hear Michael’s excitement behind you, and while normally you’d feel bad for ruining that sort of happiness, you just really weren’t in the mood for it right now. “Y/N, hey! What do you call it when you say goodbye!” He taps on your shoulder, and you finally turn to look at him with your eyebrows raised.

“Michael,” Jim tries to inject, raising a hand between the two of you. Michael, too excited to stop, jumps up and down before he finally bursts out laughing, his words jumbled and almost unrecognizable.

“A microwave! Get it! Micro!” He laughs again, and you try to find any semblance of care to keep this job, anything to get you to smile at Michael and move on like you usually do. That’s when Jim steps in front of you, moving closer to Michael. You gulp, his whole body blocking your boss from you, and you slowly realize that Jim was backing Michael up to the wall, towering over him very specifically.

“What about me, Michael?” Jim takes another step forward, Michael stumbling on a backwards step. “Have any tall jokes for me?”

“But, tall jokes-”

“Michael,” Jim’s voice lowered, and while you couldn’t see his face you could almost hear how serious it must’ve looked. Michael scurries out from next to Jim, hurrying over to the door. He clears his throat, throwing an undisguised fearful look toward Jim before straightening his suit coat and turning to leave the room.

There was something about that- maybe Jim using his height for you or even defending you from someone you were obviously having problems with- that made you suck in a breath. You knew you were blushing before, but your face felt like an inferno now. As Jim turns to look at you with an apprehensive look, you didn’t know what your own face was projecting at this point. All you kept thinking was that scene, Jim towering over Michael and chasing him away. Jim and his big body and big hands and-

A hand was being waved in your face and you jumped, widening your eyes further and drawing your gaze upward to meet with Jim. He was smiling, laughing it seemed, and finally crossed his arms. “I seemed to lose you there for a second, you alright?”

“Yeah- yes, I’m fine.” You could hear the breathless tone to your voice and cursed inwardly, turning to quickly grab your cup of coffee and drain the rest of what was in the cup. Jim raised his eyebrows at this, laughing again as you place your mug into the sink and grab the second one.

“No, but really, are you okay? Michael has some pretty shitty timing.” Timing, right. You were talking to him about something. What were you talking about? You met Jim’s gaze again and took another drink, hoping to buy time. He only laughs, reaching for his own cup and mirroring you, taking his own sip. His eyes dart briefly down to his cup before raising back to you, something in him softening at the taste.

“I’m fine. Really. Thank you for that, by the way.”

“Of course,” Jim answers right away, smiling and holding his mug close to his chest. “If only I had been here the rest of the day, I would’ve been able to help out before it got too bad.”

“You know,” You were surprised you finally were able to find your voice, taking another drink from your coffee just to keep him in suspense. “I’m now wondering if he ran to his office to start looking up tall jokes now.” Jim groaned playfully, rolling his eyes and leaning a hip against the counter. “‘How’s the weather up there?’ And whatnot, you know?”

“Oh, I know, “ Jim insists, causing you to bubble up with laughter once more. “I think his most recent one was, ‘What’s the difference between a clown and a tall person?’” You raise your eyebrows, taking a drink from your coffee. He smirks, continuing on, “Their shoe store.” You huff a smile laugh, shaking your head.

“That’s horrible.”

“I didn’t mind it that much,” Jim replies with a shrug, watching your face. You wonder why you’re being scrutinized so closely, until he finishes his sentence, “I mean, you know what they say about big feet.” You choke on your coffee, turning and coughing away from Jim. Your eyes were wide, running that sentence through your head. You could swear that you’ve never blushed this often in your entire life, and yet your face heats up once more to its familiar warmth and you aren’t sure what you’re supposed to do with your hands. Placing your now empty second mug into the sink, you take hold of your last one and fake salute toward Jim.

“Alright! And with that, I am off!” You hear Jim laughing loudly behind you, shaking your head and pressing the back of your hand to your cheek. You turn and call back into the room, “To do work! Like we’re supposed to be doing!” The door closes on Jim’s laughter, and you hurry to make it back to your desk. No one seems bothered by your commotion aside from Pam, who just looks at you with a smile and a head tilt. You just shake your head in response, finding refuge at your desk.

“So, drinks tonight?”

“Yeah, drinks sound great!”

“Are we going to-”

“Of course!”

“Hey, Y/N!” You turn your head at your name, eyeing the group of coworkers congregating at the glass doors as they all take turns putting on their jackets. It was Phyllis who called your name, and you tried to turn your brain back on enough to pay attention. After all, work is over now, you shouldn’t need to use your brain anymore. That just sounded exhausting.

“Yeah?”

“Are you coming?” At that you tilt your head, and Phyllis smiles at you kindly, “Everyone is going out for drinks.”

“Oh,” You consider it, looking at the group of them before nodding, your smile growing. “Sure! That sounds fun!”

“Nope!” You jump at the loud sound of Michael’s voice, turning to look at him with wide eyes. He approaches you and hunches down to look you in the eye- completely unnecessarily. “You can’t come!” He stands again, holding a hand above your head, “You must be this tall to ride this ride! Sorry, gotta be this tall to have a drink with the lads!” He laughs loudly, turning to usher everyone out of the building. You stand there gaping, then turn to look at Phyllis, who in turn looked horrified.

“Oh, Y/N, that was-” She huffs, “You’re still allowed to come you know.”

“No, that’s okay Phyllis,” You began, sighing and glaring at the back of Michael’s head. “I don’t think I’d have much fun with him around anyway.”

“Well, since you’re free,” You startle again, huffing when you turn around and come face-to-face with Jim. Well, face-to-chest, but you’re not here to make fun of your own height.

“Jim! You scared me.” You playfully glare at him, finishing up packing up your desk. Phyllis, unnoticed, smiled at the two of you before leaving.

“As I was saying,” Jim continues, circling around to stand right next to you. You raise your eyes to him once more, raising an unimpressed eyebrow. When he takes your hand, your eyebrow immediately falls, and you drop your gaze to look at the sight of his fingers mixing with yours. “Since you’re free tonight, maybe we could go get a drink ourselves?” You raise your surprised gaze to Jim, unsure what to say as he finally continues in a lowered and deeper voice, “Just us?”

“Jim,” You begin, his name more of an exhale than really spoken, “What are you- like a date?”

“I know our size difference is so vast,” Jim playfully insists, pulling your hand twice with his own before tangling your fingers together, “But somehow I think we can push past it.”

“So, a-”

“Yes, a date,” Jim clears up with a laugh, reaching his other hand to place against your cheek. “I promise I won’t take you to a giant’s bar.” You laugh, shaking your head.

“I better be able to fit on the stools.” His smile widens, using your hands to pull you in closer.

“Is that a-”

“That’s a yes, yeah,” You agreed easily, attempting to stand on your toes to reach up toward him. Luckily, at the same moment, Jim leaned down and your lips finally met. Jim’s hand slides from your cheek to the back of your head, pulling you in closer and you couldn’t help but melt against him. When your kiss finally breaks and he straightens back up, you pout up at him. He chuckles, shaking his head with a soft look.

“A kiss like that and all I get is a pout? I must be off my game.” You laugh, playfully hitting his chest before huffing.

“Not that, the kiss was amazing. It’s just,” You playfully glare up at him, taking hold of his tie, “You’re too tall. I can’t just surprise you with a kiss, you have to lean all the way down here just for it to happen!” Jim laughs, sliding his head from the back of your head down to your back while you spoke and pulling you in closer.

“Well, that just sounds like quitters talk.”

“You’re on then, Halpert.” So, maybe today wasn’t the worst day.