#I should make a tag for vent posts in case someone wants to block them

[sprites-blight]

wow that party was so draining i hated it

[numberoneanika]

Honestly the roleplay blogs are stronger than I am because if I saw a post where people were saying my blog was annoying and calling me corny I would jump in a large pit and rot away

[ciaossu-imagines]

hi, dee!! can you please do prompt 1 + numbers 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 9, 10, 16, 20, 21, 26 for khr? don’t hold back, be salty as hell 🔥

Hello, hello, my dear! Sorry about the late reply - I got called into work...again. Since you're the only one who requested things and because I so rarely get permission to be salty as fuck, I actually answered all the questions and I hope you don't mind!

What OTP’s in your fandom do you just not get?

Honestly, there’s a shit ton of them. KHR has always embraced ships and they have a lot of creativity when it comes to crack ships. With the fandom, I think if there’s a character, they have been, at this point, shipped with most other characters. I mean, hell, at one point a character was shipped with a wall lmao. That’s saying something. I don’t actively ship a hell of a lot, so I really don’t care too much about the ships. What others ship is up to them and while I am fully all in on ‘ship what you ship, as long as it makes you happy, because it isn’t that serious,’ I will admit there’s two ships that I really don’t like, so I, like any sane person, block the tags for them. I don’t really get or like Gamma and Yuni being shipped together romantically. Yuni is a literal child to Gamma’s full-grown adult and yes, they have a close bond, but the reason Gamma cares for her so goddamn much is because he was hopelessly, endlessly in love with her mother. Yuni’s resemblance to Aria would make her only ever a replacement goldfish for Gamma’s first and truest love, Aria, in my mind and that’s just all kinds of toxic, even setting aside the age difference which is hella creepy. The other ship I really don’t like has the same issue, which is Bianchi and Reborn. For the timelines to make any kind of sense, this means that the only form Bianchi has ever known Reborn in is in his infant body and shipping them together romantically is fucking weird because that’s a what 18–19-year-old woman being romantic with someone who is physically a whole year old. It just gives me a strong squick feeling, so I personally avoid it at all costs.

Are there any popular fandom OTP’s you only BroTP?

Almost all of them. It comes with the territory of honestly finding friendships, rivalries, enemies, found families, mentor-student relationships, etc. all a lot more interesting than who should kiss who. A lot of the super popular OTP’s in the fandom are ones that I only BroTP but I think some of the biggest ones, right off the top of my head are: Gokudera and Tsuna, Enma and Tsuna, Hibari and Mukuro (they make great rivals/enemies but I can’t get behind them past that), and Chrome and Mukuro (found family all the way).

Have you ever unfollowed anyone over a fandom opinion?

Yes. I have zero qualms about admitting this either and I don’t see how it should be a controversial thing at all. We are all responsible for curating our own internet experiences and if I see someone posting a lot or vehemently hating on something within the fandom, posting a lot about a ship or opinion that makes me uncomfortable, or who seems to be trying to stir up shit within the fandom, of course I’m going to block the blog so that I don’t have to be exposed to that. Blogs that reblog or post about hating Timoteo, Nana, YamaPapa, Shamal, Luce, or Iemitsu typically get an auto-block from me but only if they’ve purposefully tagged the posts with the fandom and the character, just because at that point, they’re actively trying to shove that down everyone’s throat and I’m not cool with that. I adore all those characters for different reasons and I don’t want to see posts about how they’re absolute abusers and utter trash. That’s not what I’m in the fandom for. If you want to vent about how much you hate a character, that’s cool. I can get that feeling but in those cases, I do advise either venting to a friend about how awful the character is or keep those posts but, ya know, do the considerate thing and don’t throw them in the main fandom and character tags, so that people like me, who actively follow those tags because I love those characters, don’t have to deal with the hate.

Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP?

Again, Gamma and Yuni shipped romantically and Bianchi and Reborn shipped romantically are absolute no go’s for me. Outside of friend’s OCs, I also really hate almost all canon ships with Hibari. They just do nothing for me, never have, never will. I love things that focus on who Hibari is as a person, on the different ways he might interact with people outside of romance and becoming trademark uwu softboy. I love reading a Hibari with fangs. I love things that explore his past, his future, or just feature a lot of action and badass Hibari moments. Reading all about Hibari and how he falls head over heels in love with someone or how he really just wants to kiss Character X? That shit is super boring to me, honestly, and defangs an absolute king of the beasts.

Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?

YEP. Having been in this fandom for so long, and especially before I really learned how to best exercise the rule of curating my own internet experience, toxic shippers managed to completely ruin one particular pairing for me. It’s nowhere near as bad now, I will say that, but Xanxus Squalo shippers? They could be the meanest, most actively toxic, and dramatic of the shippers back when KHR was still actively publishing chapters week by week, especially during the Ring Battles arc. I was never so goddamn attacked for writing character x readers than when I wrote Xanxus x reader or Squalo x reader stories when obviously those two were meant for each other and how dare I and I’m just fucking homophobic and yeah…that ship has actively bad memories associated with it and now it just instinctively makes me flinch seeing stuff for it, but at the same time, I also do get the appeal and am happy that it does bring people joy.

Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?

It actually has! It’s not a pairing I actively ship or anything. I don’t seek it out in any way, either in fics or art, but when it does come across my dash, I can be pretty cool with it and might even stop and read it. It’s Tsuna x Enma. I didn’t actively hate it or anything, just kind of ignored it, but I have seen some really well-done art and fics for that pairing over the years, stuff that’s really impressed me or that I can’t help but go ‘that really is cute and they have real chemistry.’ Because of that, I tend to linger a little more when I do see that pairing than I would most other pairings.

Is there anything you used to like but can’t stand now?

I used to love writing full fics for the fandom. Not just x reader fics, which I still do, but actual gen fics, really focusing on the characters. It’s not that I can’t stand it at all now, it’s just that fandom has changed. Investing the amount of time that I used to in those fics, days of my time, sometimes even weeks, only to have them completely ignored and without any engagement, just robs the joy of it. When I write full fics now, they’re either x readers for the blog or fics that are written only for me, that don’t get published at all because they’re just silly, self-indulgent stuff.

Have you ever received anon hate? What about?

Yes. This is the most empathic yes you will have when answering these questions. I have received so much anon hate during my many, many years in fandom. It started on ff.net when I published my KHR stories there, followed me to my first, original Polycanons blog and it’s still something I get at least every month or so on this blog. The difference between all these points in time is how I’ve learned to deal with the anon hate. By this point, after realizing it is really just a part of fandom itself that you can’t escape, that there will always be unhappy people out there who desperately want to make others share in their misery, I’ve developed ways to deal with this anon hate. My biggest rules now – unless I feel it would be productive or worthwhile to answer for some reason, I just delete it. I let myself read it only once, I delete it, and I then go and read some of the nice compliments and comments my lovely readers have sent in over the years. I don’t allow myself more than 15-20 minutes to dwell on it and wallow in feeling horrible. If it really affects me, I go talk to a friend about it. After that, it’s done. It’s over. I carry on and I don’t let anon hate defeat me because we persevere through spite and malice in this house. The anon hate I’ve received throughout the years have ranged from ‘I write the characters too whiny and angsty’ – written in the review section of an angst fic, I use the word girl too much and write my female character’s through an intrinsically sexist view, I write too simply, without enough interesting description, I write too flowery and with too much description, I write reader inserts which are trash, I don’t portray X character right, I am homophobic, I am transphobic, I’m a pedophile, I’m a terrible human being, I made a character too gay, not gay enough, I take too long to write, I write too long of chapters, I write too short of chapters…you name it, I’ve heard a complaint about it.

Most disliked characters? Why?

As of my last reread, I think it was Birds. I don’t think that one has ever changed. I’ve never really actively liked him or found him interesting. The twins were at least creepy and interesting enough, but despite Birds being shown more, he was just so…boring. He didn’t make me care to learn more about him and why he was the way he was, how he got into the jail and hooked up with Mukuro. He was just kind of there and when he left, I was glad for it.

Most disliked arc? Why?

Don’t shoot me here, but Curse of the Rainbow Arc. I don’t think it deserves the pure vitriol I’ve heard some people give it. It’s not the absolute worst thing I’ve ever read. It had actively amazing moments and seeing more of the Arcobaleno was always welcomed by me. However, I felt like it was too condensed and rushed. The pacing was severely off, even more so than the Shimon arc felt (and boy, did that arc feel rushed after the lingering, almost never-ending Future Arc). On top of that, I feel like things didn’t make sense, in terms of what had previously been established and in terms of timelines and such. It tried to wrap up too much in too short a time, leaving a lot of hanging threads and unanswered questions.

Is there an unpopular character you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?

Yes. There’s so many, really. I don’t dislike a lot of characters in KHR. I can count all the characters I don’t really vibe within KHR on one hand, honestly, and I love the rest of them, meaning that I often really like characters that aren’t…well, super liked. I happen to find Iemitsu really interesting and I think that his life, his relationship with CEDEF and the Vongola, and how he has to balance that around his world as father and husband is very thought-provoking, whether he achieves that balance in any healthy way or not. I like Timoteo – I think that it’s interesting to consider the time he grew up in, what his mother’s Vongola might have looked like, how he was influenced by it, how he himself became the respected Vongola leader he is, all the weights of his sins on his shoulder, how he feels about the Family and his own family. I like Nana – she might not be the perfect mother, but she’s obviously trying her best and I think it’s really interesting to think about who she is outside of the role of mother, on top of how hard it must be for her to have raised Tsuna for months, even years at a time, as essentially a single-mother, to consider how much she actually knows or cottons on to throughout the manga, and I think it’s worth considering how many bonds she builds with different characters and the great respect she’s shown from almost everyone in the actual canon. I love Shamal to death. I think he’s an interesting character. Yes, he can be perverted. Yes, he’s a womanizer and a leach. But there’s gotta be more to his character than that and we do see a lot of hints of that character within canon, but so many people want to boil him down to just ‘pervert’ without exploring anything more than that.

Is there an unpopular arc that you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?

I don’t really think so. The unpopular arcs aren’t things I hate, honestly. I can see pros to each of the unpopular fandoms, but I’m also really understanding of the reason those arcs aren’t as well liked. The Daily Life and Future Arcs are both arcs that drag on for too long and that should have been condensed. However, they’re both arcs that have really outstanding moments. The Daily Life arc is really hilarious at times, while the Future Arc helps us see astounding growth in not only Tsuna, but the other characters as well. The Curse of the Rainbow arc is too short and inconsistently paced and I’ve ranted about it at length above, but it also gives us some absolutely iconic Arcobaleno moments and introduces the idea of ‘True Earthlings.’

Unpopular opinion about a character?

Tsuna is not completely weak-willed and unable to say no. He started that way but purely keeping him that way is discounting the confidence and growth we see in him throughout the series. He also is not soft and good…at least, not only soft and good. He is a kind-hearted boy who always tries to find non-violent methods and to give people as much leeway as he can, who truly cares about others, but let’s not forget that Tsuna straight up murdered someone. If he’s pushed far enough, if someone hits the right button, if he’s stressed enough or sees no other way, Tsuna can and will kill. On top of that, because of the confidence and growth we do see him go through, I think there’s plenty of evidence that Tsuna grows a spine. He becomes more comfortable saying no. He becomes comfortable standing up for things he believes in or what he thinks is right. He becomes smarter, stronger and I think that a lot of Tsuna’s growth that we see throughout the series can be quite discounted by the fandom at large.

Unpopular opinion about your fandom?

I love how active the fandom is. The KHR fandom is full of passionate people, very dedicated and wonderful people. There’s so many great things to say about it and I love how, all these years later, there’s still such a large and dedicated fanbase. It’s not something that isn’t often seen in my older fandoms and honestly, I can’t state how amazing and lovely I find that. I cannot state enough good things about the fandom…but there’s one drawback to the fandom, a double-pronged sword of sorts that exists within the KHR fandom and that’s that, because the fandom is so old and most people have been in it for so long, the fandom can be very cliquey at times and there is, at times, when it comes to certain things, an attitude that there’s a ‘right way’ to be a KHR fan.

Unpopular opinion about the manga/show?

We did not get the anime we deserved. KHR deserves a rebooted anime that fully adapts all the arcs of the manga, including the end arc and that would, preferably, have a dubbed version. You want the fandom revitalized and to sell a shit ton more merch, do that, it’s really that simple.

If you could change anything in the show, what would you change?

I honestly would change the pacing of the show. The Daily Life arc should have been shortened. After getting all the characters introduced and spending enough time with them to get a feel and a taste for them, things should have moved on, especially since events and things later on directly retcon or rewrite information that was put forth during that arc. The Kokuyo arc is fine, as is the Ring Battle arc, but the Future arc needed to be shortened dramatically. Towards the end of the arc, it felt never-ending and started to get a little boring. I’d actually extend both the Shimon and Curse of the Rainbow arcs to allow for more story detail and to flesh out the world and lore more, along with fixing the anime’s filler arcs.

Instead of XYZ happening, I would have made ABC happen…

I would not have ended the show in such an extremely open-ended way. It felt unsatisfying, as I said, and left me with more questions than answers. I also would not have kept the Arcobaleno as toddlers. To me, that decision felt cowardly and more like…well, that’s how they’ve always been through the manga, the reader’s won’t like it if they’re all adults now and it would have to require too many conversations and actual work and I just want to have this finished. I would also have ironed out the timelines as I went, with more actual details placed into that.

Does not shipping something ‘popular’ mean you’re in denial and/or biased?

Nope. Shipping is just one aspect of fandom and I think A LOT of people forget that. Shipping is fun for a lot of people, but it’s not the only fun thing about fandom. Some people might just not be interested in romance, honestly. Even if someone is all into shipping, it doesn’t mean they’re required to share all the ships within a fandom. It’s just what a person likes. If a person doesn’t like a popular ship, they just don’t like a popular ship. It’s really no deeper than that and they shouldn’t face any backlash for it. It just doesn’t hit them right. As long as they’re not actively hating on the ship in the main tags or telling other people that they’re bad for shipping it, ship and let ship.

What is the one thing you hate most about your fandom?

That it is on the older side, so there’s not a lot of new people coming into the fandom or actively seeking out the fandom. That stinks, but it’s also something I’ve become very, very used to.

What is the purest ship in the fandom?

It’s not a romantic ship for any of the three cases but 1) Tsuyoshi and Yamamoto. I love this father and son duo and how they interact with each other. This family dynamic and relationship is stellar, healthy representation for fathers and sons. 2) Kyoko and Ryohei. The brother and sister duo is just amazing. There’s obvious love and care between the siblings and both of them want to protect the other and take care of them in their own ways. I think it’s a very sweet familial relationship presented. 3) The friendship between Ken, Mukuro, and Chikusa. It’s not entirely pure because holy hecking backgrounds, but even with the rough start, seeing how just absolutely dedicated each of the three is towards the others warms my heart.

What are your thoughts on crack ships?

Again, I cannot repeat it loud enough. Ship and let ship and if it isn’t your thing, block the tags and scroll past the untagged things as quickly as you can.

Popular character you hate?

I don’t hate either of them by any means. As characters alone, I really enjoy all four of these characters. I adore them – they’re fascinating, complex, intriguing, well-designed, and obviously lovingly crafted by the mangaka. But I’ve never been as all in on Hibari, Mukuro, Xanxus, or Reborn as a lot of the fandom are. I really, really like them and find at least two of them really interesting to talk about with friends, but none of them really ring my bell and none of them have ever been a favourite of my during my many rereads and hyper-fixations. In the case of all of them, too, I think that they’ve also been a little spoiled for me in that I have run across a lot of portrayals of them in fan works that I really, really, REALLY don’t jive with, don’t enjoy, and in a couple cases, actively hate for that character.

Unpopular character you love?

Naito Longchamp, Iemitsu Sawada, Nana Sawada, Luce, Tsuyoshi Yamamoto, Timoteo, Shamal, Basil, Ken, Chikusa…did you guys really need me to keep going because I could make a good solid paragraph of just all the characters I truly adore who the fandom is sleeping on.

Would you recommend the show/manga to a friend? Why or why not?

Yes. I wouldn’t have been in the fandom as long as I have if I wouldn’t and I damn sure wouldn’t still be creating for it. KHR has its flaws – the opening and the ending arcs aren’t it’s strongest. It takes too long to get into things and there’s a big tonal shift from the first arc into the second. But for all it’s faults, KHR, when it hits its stride, hits it hard. The story lines are interesting. Characters are dynamic and intriguing, relationships are built between characters in ways that make you genuinely invested. Characters grow and develop along the way; nobody remains just static. The art is beautiful later on, the twists quirky and fun. As long as you don’t sit down and try to critically analyze it, KHR is a fun read for anyone who enjoys shonen in any way.

How would you end the show/manga? Would you change the ending of it?

I would definitely change it. In my opinion, the last arc needed about another 20 chapters and then it needed another short arc after that. Things with Checkerface should have wrapped up better, the lore of the world should have been clearer, the Arcobaleno should have resumed their prior forms. The next arc, the one that would properly close out the manga, would involve the Arcobaleno getting used to their new living situations and would involve having Reborn called back to the Vongola. Tsuna thinks that he won’t miss Reborn at all, that he’s glad Reborn is finally able to live his life and that Tsuna himself will be glad to be just a regular middle school kid again. Except Tsuna does miss Reborn and this middle-school life is…empty and hollow, in a way. Tsuna’s still against becoming a mafia boss but there’s hesitation. Throughout this arc, we also get to see what everyone else is up to, how their stories are shaping up to continue on. We end the arc with Reborn coming back to Tsuna with a proposition…let me train you not to become the Vongola Decimo…no, let me tutor you to become Neo-Vongola. We don’t get to properly hear Tsuna’s decision, but we see him smile at the sound of Reborn’s voice and we see his hand reaching out for Reborn’s own and it’s kind of left open for interpretation if he just really missed Reborn and was wanting to greet his beloved tutor after all this time or if he took the offer.

Most shippable character?

It’s Tsuna. Tsuna’s the fandom slut.

[danieyells]

I need to make a new pinned post and i'll probably do it around my birthday just since I'll have to update my age and stuff anyway but for now i'm just gonna make this post i feel like i should have(as self important as it makes me sound to have it) and link it in my current pinned so

I think you blocked me/someone! Why?

I block for both serious and small reasons! The less obvious reason that probably applies to someone who would actually notice is

Tagged hate ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

I have a very low tolerance for people tagging negative shit with series and character names. Why would you make a post complaining about something you don't like and then tag it? Donyou think people go through the tags looking for people talking shit sbout something or because they like it? Would you feel annoyed if you saw some shit like that if you were looking for posts about something you enjoy? Constructve/mechanical complaints are fine--AI in a game, gacha rates suck, episodes are shorter, episode quality/story was mid--but if you're going to proclaim how much you dislike something, maybe don't tag it for everyone who likes that thing to find. It's rude if you think about it for longer than 2 seconds.

Sometimes I let it go, most of the time I just block as soon as I notice it. I don't check the tags as often as I used to, and I admit that I should probably reach out and say 'hey, could you not? That's rude.', but I'm tired and it's not my job to teach people basic etiquette.

I/this person won't do it again/wasn't being serious/have since changed perspectives. Can I be unblocked?

Probably. Just reach out to me somehow(use another Tumblr or a sideblog to DM me/send me an ask or send me a message on discord or some other website or something) or have a friend reach out to me and ask. I admit it's a petty reason. I just don't wanna see certain things.

What else do you block for? Can one be unblocked in those cases?

Varying types of queerphobia, racism, support of genocide, or other kinds of hateful shit. Conservative or right-wing(by US American standards) thinking/beliefs. Trump supporters. You get the idea.

Harassment of myself or others, recent history of abusive behavior/lack of growth/change of historic harmful behavior.

Support of generative AI.

Aggressive puritanical thinking/behavior, especially when pushed on others--anti sex work, anti pornography, anti kink/fiction/non-contact paraphilia. . .you get the idea I hope. If no real people in this plane of existence are being harmed and you're still treating it like it's harmful. It's fine if you don't like something and even to be vocal about it. Just do so with consideration for others. Sometimes I block "antis"(in the context of ships/kinks/fiction) on sight.

Generally ""rancid vibes"". Entitlement, being a dick sometimes even if it's in private. The works. Siding with someone who falls under this may also get you a block. There's a difference between venting and this that can be missed easily since I generally don't have context.

Every now and then I fall for ragebait and my solution is just to block them lol

Generally speaking these things can or will get you blocked. Chances are if you want me to unblock you/you noticed or cared it probably was a mistake or you've grown or I've jumped the gun or something. So maybe I'll unblock for things like dickishness(we all have bad days man) and non-aggressive antis--but other stuff is a hard no unless I have reason to believe I made a mistake.

I usually don't block anti-ship/anti-kink/anti-fiction/etc people myself unless they're tagging things or being openly hostile or just miserable to behold on the basis that chances are they have more of a problem with me than I have with them(I've seen them in my notes and following me lmao) and sometimes they're actually chill or genuinely ignorant and just nervous about current fandom environment or misled, so it's their responsibility to block and not engage with me.

How should I reach out to you if I have a concern, want to be unblocked, etc?

If you have a sideblog try using the sideblog to send me an IM on Tumblr. If I blocked your sideblog but not your main try using that.

If you have a separate tumblr account that I haven't blocked, try messaging me with it. Anon is fine but you'll have to mention the name of the account(s) that I blocked so it may be better to just do it off anon if you'd prefer to keep that private or smth idk

If you know someone that I don't have blocked, ask them to reach out for you.l

Dm or ping me on twitter or discord(exinspired on both) i guess idk

[pommunist]

Hello, I'm another anon that is also kind of scared to keep posting about the situation. Actually, I've reblogged a couple of posts actually of the situation but, not too much of it. I don't want to come across as too negative and I try to be careful of what I reblog about it. Though, I also fear that people might think that I'm perfectly fine or okay with Dapper/Pomme and the french cc's being gone because I don't express my outward opinion on it (which it does make me depressed). I try to liveblog as normal when I watch my streamer in the QSMP and not think about it because I know that it will just send me in a downward spiral, but it upsets me to think that some people might believe that I or other blogs that are quiet about their opinions - would not be depressed over it or upset. The whole situation surrounding Dapper and Pomme has made me cry, I was so emotionally attached to these eggs. I'm glad they're out of that shitty treatment though, even if I miss them a lot. It also makes me depressed that the french cc's on the server are going to be gone and that the QSMP Studios didn't even care to keep them on by communicating to Pomme and leaving her in the dark for three weeks. Quackity should have been more involved into his own project, and communicating with ALL of his employees, he's the boss, he should have checked so that this terrible worker situation wouldn't have happened to begin with - maybe that's unrealistic of me and just my emotions talking but it's how I feel. Dapper shouldn't have been hired, I don't know if that's a hot take or not but I haven't seen many people talk about it? They were hired as a minor, where people make constant sex jokes and have a sex club - it just makes me uncomfortable that they were exposed to that and to working conditions that they should have never been in. It also makes me uncomfortable to see that there's still admins working in the QSMP like cucurucho or mr.reaper because their situation still isn't fixed? I haven't seen anyone else talk about this either and it just sits so weirdly to me. If the admins are being put on a break so that they can restructure QSMP, why is there still a few there working? It's just a lot of my thoughts, sorry for the vent but I felt that I needed to get my emotions out there without being known for it (blog wise)

At the end of the day anon, your blog is your blog, you should express yourself on it the way YOU want.

Don’t worry about what people may think, do what feels right for you and if there are some who may find it annoying or whatever, then they’ll just block tags and not see what they don’t want to see anymore.

I worried a lot about bothering people at first and then started thinking that if it’s the case, they can just block me, no hard feelings, and I can keep sharing what I want on my blog, and they don’t have to see it. win win situation !

As for the rest, about Dapper’s admin being hired as a minor tbh it’s true that they shouldn’t have been hired. I know they were close to turn into an official adult when they were hired, and I wouldn’t want anyone else to play Dapper, but Qstudios should have been very strict on this stuff.

As for some admins still being on the server, it was to expect when they reopened it, if only because if there are players on QSMP, you at least need someone who will help with bugs, server maintenance, making sure someone doesn’t break something important…

I think once during a recent BBH stream, you could see the « government names » of the admins (QNPCXX). When asked about them, Lea said that these were high ranked admins (and one of them was a « bad » one). So yeah chances are that admins that currently have access to the server are high admins/people who weren’t volunteers.

[traumastories]

This blog is not run by user traumasurvivors (April). I have decided to take the burden off her shoulders.

Some information about me, for anyone who needs it: I am 30+. If you must refer to me, my pronouns are he/him. I am a transgender and white-passing Latino. I am a fellow trauma survivor/endurer with diagnosed Level 1-2 Autism and Inattentive Type ADHD along with (C)PTSD. I also live with chronic pain as well as the chronic disabilities that come with those congenital and mental issues.

This is meant to be a place to encourage peer support, and hope it becomes that. I understand how beneficial it is to be heard and able to vent your story anonymously when you can't access mental health care or aren't quite ready to speak up openly yet.

Adding this on the 30th of July, because it seems to be a concern. All stories will be anonymous. If someone accidentally sends it off anonymous, I will let them know and will not post it. Further, if that happens, you can be sure that your identity will not be revealed to anyone. The exception to this rule can be someone using a burner account in order to get direct interactions from other users, in which case, the person should let me know it's a burner, that is, an account not associated with them. An alternative to this, in case you want direct responses, could be a burner email account. That is a risk, though, so you must consider the possibility of having to take responsibility for potentially triggering messages.

By sending your story/ask, you must understand that the internet is unforgiving and there are chances of people being rude and mean. By submitting your story, you take responsibility for the possible triggering remarks of other users. I say this, not to shake off the responsibility, but because I cannot control what other people say.

I will not respond to the stories, only tag. I will not judge, but if your story is posted, you can be sure that you have my support.

The purpose of this sideblog is so that people can have a place to share their stories without having to do it with their face attached to them. Venting is allowed. Supporting the person is strongly encouraged. But I will ask that people who want to give advice in the replies or reblogs, do so respectfully.

Again, all that is being asked for is respect for the people behind the screen. We don't know where someone is coming from and their circumstances. Practice kindness and compassion.

If you must judge, as people do, judge with compassion and understanding. Hateful or rude asks and off-topic asks will be thoroughly ignored and deleted. The same will happen with inflammatory replies. Depending on how rude it is, it may warrant a block.

Sending stories and directly asking for advice from other people who may want to give it is allowed (specify if you want mine as well, but I will say that I am not a qualified mental healthcare professional and I have the tendency to react emotionally and go above and beyond, so really think if that's what you want).

I hope this anonymous venting place helps more than it harms.

Again, everything will be tagged appropriately and if you see your story and the tags aren't accurate, send a message and I'll change them. Further, if you read a story and feel that something wasn't tagged, let me know and I'll add it. I won't reply to more asks about that. I will just make the changes. More personal replies will be tagged as "not a story" and "info". Trauma stories will be tagged as "trauma story". And requests for advice will be tagged as "advice request" as well as "trauma story", if it applies.

Finally, remember that while you didn't ask to be born and endure the trials you have had to endure, you are worthy of compassion, of life, and of wanting to find happiness. Love is stronger than hate, even if hate is louder.

[theroundbartable]

I've seen it again today. Hate on tumblr:

(I'm venting a bit, sorry:)

"don't tag this ship here!!!!" (Context: a ship not referring to the art was mentioned in the tags, as a commentary. It was not one of my posts though)

"now WE (shippers of that ship) have to see it!"

"The ship that's actually in this post is bullshit, they have no chemistry etc."

Hater? Fuck you.

I went there specifically looking for the ship tag that you hate and I now have to see YOUR bullshit, so get a grip. Anyone can ship what they want, regardless if it has chemistry or not. No matter if it's "only popular because it's a stereotypical ship" Ever heard of crack ships? It's a thing. I don't need to justify my shipping choices, thank you.

Commentary in tags is tumblr culture. Just look away. I can't believe it, but I'm actually quoting Jesus on you: "if your eyes are what tempts you, gauge out your eyes. If you can't control your hands, cut them off." Ship shaming is so fucking lame, I'm so done with this.

You can block tags you don't like!

And yeah, okay, it doesn't always work. I personally don't tag everything I reblog either, but for the love of - someone. Just scroll past!

If it bothers you THAT much, You can make posts gathering awareness of the importance of tagging correctly or if the ship is problematic for some reason (e.g. incest/pedophilia/etc.) report the user. You can ask the poster to correct their tags but you don't have to be a dick to people online. Especially not in this case because it was clearly just about preference.

Do you know how many times I read fanfics with Leon ships in them even when they're not tagged? Do you have any idea how often I see Alastor ship art on tumblr? The ship the person mentioned above prefers is another one of my NoTPs that happen to include on of the few ace characters I adore and want to remain outside of ships. I like the art anyway and keep scrolling. And I do not judge them for preferring that ship. Of course they are allowed to ship whatever they want. You can appreciate things you don't like for different reasons. For the humor, for the art style, for the fic it's from... Yeah, you'll cringe, but that's the worst of it. But this?!

Don't attack people for liking your NoTP!!!

This isn't how tumblr should be! We can be better than that!

[meraki-yao]

You don't have to post it if you don't want to, you can also block me or delete it's ok, I just need to vent because this situation is hitting rock bottom and I can't stand how people don't want to see the problem:

In short: there is a video of the q&a where the female producer gets Casey pronouns wrong when talking about them. It's totally ok to point this out and give respect that Casey deserves BUT who was given the main blame? Taylor obviously, despite him also using the right pronouns during the panel, is guilty of not correcting the woman in front of everyone so he's bad again.

But this time we're not talking about that handful of idiot Nick fans, we're talking about the rwrb fandom that says they love him so much but once again for the umpteenth time they threw him under the bus without thinking twice even though he had no fault. And it will be the third time that the same fandom has exaggerated something against him, subsequently causing serious problems ( like racism and homophobia and doxxing which took place in december where everyone then washed their hands of it pretending nothing happened and they did nothing wrong)

And I'm so tired of reading that we just have to ignore that social because that social is the most active and followed and we know Taylor a few days ago saw stuff and posted and today Casey saw and posted a story. That social causes damage and everything they bring there is seen and affects all of them. So no it's not enough to ignore and put our hands over our eyes and just talk about how beautiful the sky is and I'm so tired and sad and heartbroken because every day even unconsciously they make it more and more evident that there isn't the same affection and respect for both, it's not true, one will always be seen with a critical eye "yes you are beautiful, perfect, so sexy, wow how beautiful these photos BUT you are a bit problematic, BUT you should be better than that, BUT you should learn better, oh disappointed but not surprised" and it is obviously always the poc man who has to be better who has to do better even when he does absolutely nothing wrong.

And this comes from the people who say they follow him and love him. It's no longer possible, that man has been attacked every single day for months, now he must also fall into the transphobic category because he didn't correct another person in front of everyone even though HE had used the right pronouns. But do we realize that this shit fucks up your mental health in the long run? But why doesn't anyone realize how serious the situation is? I cannot take it anymore and I feel like I'm screaming into the void and witnessing the moment when everything will get worse and fall apart and then we will be here sad because it didn't have to go that way for him

…Woah.

Jesus Christ what the fuck.

Okay um, here we go. This is a monster of response to write but here I am.

I’m gonna start by saying I am not a direct witness of any of this. I didn’t know about the misgendering issue during the Q&A, I didn’t really notice it when I watched the Q&A myself yesterday. I’m not on twitter and I don’t follow or look at Taylor or Nick’s tags. All insults I seen regarding the boys are either from assholes trying to bother me or from people who want to talk about the phenomena, both in my inbox.

Regarding misgendering Casey:

Firstly I’m gonna state the obvious and say of course it’s a bad thing to misgender someone. Don’t do that

However I will also say this.

In regards to the extent of reaction: it’s not always done in malice. And in this case, I think it’s a genuine slip up, which happens. I had to consciously remind myself to deliberately use the right pronouns after my friend came out to me as non-binary. I had to correct my friend using the wrong pronouns when talking about our mutual non-binary student. It’s not ideal, but it happens. It’s not mean, it’s just careless. And please note that I’m not saying it’s ok to misgender someone, no it’s absolutely not but I also don’t think this case calls for a big reaction.  If someone maliciously, deliberately, publicly and repeatedly misgenders someone, that’s problematic, that should be called out by the masses to this extent. This, we should acknowledge, make a note, and move on. I think there’s some cases where the reaction to certain issues are massively disproportional, this is one of them.

In regards to Taylor not correcting Sarah and being targeted for it: Firstly, Taylor didn’t misgender them, Sarah did. Taylor used the right pronouns. In fact when they hung out in New York last August, Taylor used the right pronouns on his Instagram story. Secondly, he might not have picked that up. Thirdly, even if he did, it’s awkward to suddenly cut off a monologue, let alone one from friend or not, is someone on a higher level than you, to correct a mistake that doesn’t directly affect comprehensive. Fourthly, bystanders are encouraged to step into situations, but they’re certainly not obligated to. So placing the blame or putting so much blame on Taylor is ridiculous and unfair.

In regards to Casey’s Instagram story: I understand where the connection comes from but honestly… I think there’s also a possibility that that’s just a post that Casey saw and wanted to share without reference to this issue. They don’t have Twitter, and it’s been several days since the screening. Truthfully, everyone involved seems really friendly with each other, and how this very project is advocating for LGBT rights, I don’t really believe that if they were aware of the misgendering, they wouldn’t apologize to Casey.

So replying to the “You don’t have to post it…” anon, I agree that putting any blame on Taylor is kind of ridiculous in this case, just like what happened in December. I think there’s a portion of “fans” that are fucking around with this and genuinely hurting him, but there might also be a portion of people who have a problematic/complicated perception of this type of situation, and it’s not targeted specifically towards Taylor. Either way I disapprove with what they’re doing, but here’s a hypothesis.

Regarding the damage these stuff causes:

I’ve addressed the insults thrown at Taylor multiple times by now. And I kind of agree with “I hate that there are idiots…” anon that really disgusting insults thrown at Nick tend to be overlooked, it’s not like there’s no Nick haters, there is. But because of the inherent racism, attacks on Taylor are much more obvious. Either way it’s cruel and disgusting and the boys don’t deserve to be thrown insults like that, nor do they deserve to have people enact cruelty in their name. Rarely is anyone deserving of that, and in the case of these two boys who have been proven to kind and wonderful people, it’s definitely wrong.

I’m tired of reading and seeing these bullshit on social media as well, which is why I actively avoid it, but “You don’t have to post it” anon, I definitely understand and share your worries of this fucking up the boys mental health.

But the sad truth is that we can’t decide what he can see and what he can’t. We’re just gonna need to trust him, to believe that he knows how to regulate the exposure of response he gets, that he knows what comments matter and what don’t, that he knows how to take care of his mental health. He actively avoids twitter, so I think he has an idea on what he can engage with an what he shouldn’t. Same goes with Nick, all we can do is believe he knows his mental health and how to regulate it. Meanwhile, those of us who aren’t assholes, we’ll show them all the love we have for him. I think public figures all struggle with this to some extent, so when they stepped into this career, I believe they saw this as a possibility, so they’re prepared to some degree. That doesn’t make any of this okay, but again, ultimately, we’re not people directly in their lives. We can’t do anything else practical.

Ultimately I want to say, be kind, compassionate and considerate. We can’t control what others do, and truth be told when it comes to the majority of the haters, I don’t think calling them out will change anything. They have their mind set. So the best we can do, is manage and control what we say and do, and to some degree, what we see and engage with.

[hallowed-axolotl]

intro post???

hi!! decided to finally make an introduction lol

I'm hallows, I'm aroace, transmasc agender and currently go by they/them pronouns! struggling to survive in the hell that is canada. I'm also a strictly sfw furry.

(my strawpage - do be warned, it's a bit finnicky, and contains lots of moving parts and fast moving objects that may cause eyestrain or worse if you're sensitive to those kinds of things.)

(more below- read more is just to keep it compact)

I'd like to ask that you don't come to my askbox to share fundraisers of any kind. Ill reblog anything that comes across my dash, just don't expect a response from my askbox. I have severe anxiety and as much as I support asking for help in such a way, it makes me incredibly uncomfortable. respectfully, please ask someone who isn't a minor.

the kinds of things you'll probably see here will vary, but will mostly be compiled of:

wings of fire (and sometimes warriors)

regretevator

sometimes phighting

dandy's world (I do not support the co-creator.)

objectified webcomic go read it right now /nf

oc stuff

random things I find funny

aroace posts

my dumb ramblings

the rare portal related post

occasional writing stuff

ventposts (apologies in advance, most should be tagged as #vent post)

and personal art (been on a bit of a hiatus with that... art burnout...)

I have inattentive ADHD, MDD and generalized anxiety disorder (all officially diagnosed) and possibly autism as well. (tone tags are encouraged but not mandatory!!)

current obsession is mainly wings of fire, but i have a severe obsession with axolotls. save me. (I will update this)

please dni: p3dophiles, z00philes, homophobes of any flavour (this includes terfs and aphobes especially), pro-shippers, anyone I know irl, nsfw accounts, ableists, terfs, zionists, those "transid" people (transautistic, rcta, transdisabled, etc. people's struggles are not your aesthetics.) and any other basic dni criteria. I block freely.

most of my art will be tagged under a simple "my art", and any text posts are under "text". reblogs are untagged though. beware. (ventposts are tagged as "vent post" or "ventpost", I miss the space a lot. just stating in case anyone wants to block it. I vent a lot.)

(asks and dms are open!! I may have anxiety but I still crave human interaction 🙏🙏)

[freyanistics]

Alright this is going to be a very different post, more serious based. This would probably be the second time I have to bring to light to a situation with someone who’s problematic, only difference is it’s in regards to a now ex friend

In regards of @/arwenson who was one of the main re8 writers on here, they were found out to be lying about their age. They are a minor, 15 to be exact.

I found out early today by my friend Max who showed me a screenshot of her admitting it in a discord server. To clarify I was not in the discord server, from my understanding it was 18+.

Now arwen has deactivated apparently, they claim they were going to tell everyone, I’m not sure if they did. I would assume not but I could be wrong.

Now to first address why this an issue with a minor posting nsfw content. It’s not only dangerous but also can get adults in legal trouble.

It’s dangerous because there are so many disgusting people and predators on the internet who likes taking advantage of minors. I speak from experience of this, I was groomed on the internet. I had adults take advantage of my naivety and how sexual I use to be online. And it can lead to minors getting sex trafficked, kidnapped, or killed. Look at how many cases of children getting snatch and not being found again. It’s a very serious thing, especially if you’re posting 18+ content.

On top of the fact when you lie about your age and get in adult spaces you can also put those adults in trouble. The stuff Arwen and a good majority of our mutuals who are adults could have been plastered as sex offenders had their parents saw what was going on. I literally paid Arwen to write explicit sex scenes of my character with Lady D, and I could have gotten in trouble for that.

“Oh but It’s not a big deal.” It is, people have gotten in trouble for that. And I’m very active of not wanting minors to fall into that trap from gross adults, I try not to be too explicit on here to prevent exposing minors to content. Whenever I post nsfw I tag it and now with this new update from tumblr I can switch the audience from general to mature. I don’t want to expose minors to stuff I got exposed to growing up.

It hurts me especially to find out my friend was lying about their age and willingly putting adults in possible trouble. It’s a trust that has been broken, and it really hurts. I’m not really mad, I’m more disappointed in them. I do hope they learn from this and to never ever do something like this again.

I know my other mutuals who were affected by this are just as hurting and to them I say my dms are always open if you need to vent or whatever.

I do want to also add in that a few mutuals are also mad at my other friend who told me about this in the first place. I want to say I understand that y’all are angry at them, you have every right to be. But I also think we should also hear their side of the story. I’m not going to go into grave detail because that’s not my story to tell, it’s his. However he told me that Arwen threaten to deny anything when he originally wanted to say something. And he had no evidence to back him up so she could have easily deny it and make up a wild story to make him out to be the bad guy. While yes, he should have told everyone with no proof it was their word against hers. I think we should all listen to his side of the story before we throw him out as just as guilty. But that’s just me

Anyway that’s all I have to say on the matter. I hope things get better for the people who were involved and that’s it. Be safe everyone

Edit: They still have 20 in their bio on twitter. I was also blocked by them (I never said anything to them)

[doberbutts]

ok but the major term transmascs have to describe the specific oppression we face was coined by a violently antiblack, anti-indigenous, lesbophobe who has a fetishistic kink related to correctively raping lesbians and gaslighting them into thinking they’re men so like. maybe use another word that isn’t associated with that. bc the majority of the transmascs who use it are associated with him and harassed if they speak against him. and also with the harassment of black transmascs like voc.

Give me proof that he is anti-black and anti-indigenous, specifically. Because the "proof" I see is that he got into a dispute over the usage of the acronym ABO during a discussion about Omegaverse theory and how a lot of trans guys are uncomfortable with the way it's treated in fanfic. An Aboriginal blogger objected to the acronym being used in this way because it is also a slur used against Aboriginal people. He initially protested this because words, in fact, often have more than one meaning and many people who have it trigger-tagged use specifically that variant and he was very clearly not talking about Aboriginal people, but eventually relented and agreed to only use the acronym with the slashes A/B/O or call it Omegaverse instead.

That was apparently not good enough. He was then labelled anti-black after a short vent regarding Biden's Juneteeth declaration, calling it too little too late, a sentiment shared by many black people (including myself!) and said he wanted more from this country's leadership in terms of reparations. This was deemed... talking over black people? Because he thought our historically racist leadership was doing too little to make up for slavery?

He *then* was labelled harassing two bloggers who have honestly been doing a lot of petty shit-flinging and launching personal harassment campaigns when one of his followers eventually decided to call them to the carpet for 8 months of abuse and block-dodging and call-out-posting- and... let's not forget that these bloggers also outright deny black people who disagree with them their blackness by calling them white-aligned and coons and monkeys the second any black blogger comments on their bad behavior.

In other words, the 'proof' I've seen is a stupid petty personal dispute that got way out of hand and should have ended when all parties blocked each other.

As for his kink blog- again I say that digging through someone's private (PASSWORD PROTECTED) consensual sex life for dirt is like... old hat homophobia and transphobia. But even ignoring that, yes he was engaging in some borderline SSC kinks consensually with a trans woman partner and some of that was indeed deliberate misgendering, forced masculinization, and consensual non-consent. And eventually he realized he was not comfortable continuing and stopped, and the screenshots were taken well after the fact. He has said this more than once on his blog. You don't need to like what someone does in the privacy of their own bedroom (or in this case on a blog you shouldn't have had access to), but understand that not only was it consensual but that his partner enjoyed it and wanted it. You are calling him a predator because he engaged in consensual sex that was asked of him.

(also it's really fucking weird that y'all are so hung up on that but the trans masc and trans man and ftm tags are constantly filled with trans fems looking for trans mascs to practice forced fem/misgendering/cnc kinks on and y'all do literally nothing about it- idgaf what people are into as long as it's SSC but at least be consistent)

What's mind-boggling to me is that he's mostly just been doing his own thing on his own blog, getting top surgery, fixing his homelessness, and being isolated because anyone who dares actually research anything in regards to this is immediately put to the axe. That blocklist is because he was initially resistant to changing an acronym that people use to avoid a specific trigger that has nothing to do with the racist slur the acronyn shares letters with. Literally. This has snowballed out of proportion from that.

Meanwhile two trans fems so far have been called fakers or outright called men as a result of this block list. Several bloggers have recieved death threats, rape threats, transphobic garbage, ableist garbage, and worse. Who is harassing who, here? Because these bloggers were mainly talking among themselves (or in some cases, just talking TO themselves as there are vent blogs with only a small handful of followers on that list) and not going out of their way to bother anyone. When multiple trans fems spoke up saying hey, this isn't cool, I believe the same thing as these trans mascs and intersex people, put me on the list too... it was denied because the list is "only" for trans mascs. How does that make sense? If people who believe in something are all dangerous, why is it only some people being punished for it?

[babochkas]

i'm putting this post under a read more because it's long & i'm sorry it's related to the drama but, i really need to clear up the situation on my end:

to start with, i've never sent anyone anon hate. i don't support that at all because i know how shitty it is to get it. my post today was absolutely a vague, but not about anyone in the rpc and i specifically stated it was related to twitter lesbophobes that spread into the tumblr community (NOT THE RPC COMMUNITY, i never specified rpc & my wife clarified in their post as well it was not the rpc) and specifically mentioned seeing topics of conversion. this post i made didn't even specify if it was about bronseele. i never mentioned their names. but because i posted it on seele, my current main blog, it's tied to that. accusations of anon hate and biphobia. it was absolutely horrible timing, absolutely looks suspicious, but: i had no way of seeing this because i don't follow. i do not keep tabs on the people i block and avoid them from my radar entirely. i never talked nor judged anyone's portrayal or interpretation. people are making accusations STILL because of a matter of shit timing and coincidence related to someone ive had blocked. i want to say clearly, i did not send the anon that was received. i did not even know of it, nor the post that prompted the anon. i have not ever sent anon hate, and have not vagued about anyone in the fandom's portrayal.

again, my original post was kept vague in wording because i woke up (around 3pmest, i have bad insomnia so my schedule is weird) starting my day seeing people on twitter erasing the canon rep of my favorite characters (i'm not talking just up for interpretation characters, i mean seeing people straight up talking about leona/diana in league - excuse vulgarity - "taking dick to cure their mind.") & then while looking at fanart on tumblr shortly after, saw more of the same with other ships i like art of. of course, as a lesbian, i am very passionate about these cases of rep, and of course very triggered by seeing the lesbophobia i was seeing on twitter (the conversion i mentioned in my post, which i followed up with by saying i was seeing more of it on tumblr) not the best wording & def should have clarified but, i just woke up for the day, i was tired, and my brain hadn't fully kicked into gear so i opened my tumblr app to check my notifications and make a quick vent post. it had nothing to do with bisexuality, nothing to do with a bi interpretation, nothing: it was about the disgusting and harmful conversion posts and discussions i was seeing. i had no idea about what was going on hours before because i was asleep. i was logged in on seele, so i just made the venty post (again specifically about conversion therapy comments) and didnt think anything of it because i didn't know what was going on, basically until i started finding out about the accusations.

i do want to note again, i did try to unblock to send an IM clarifying before everything really blew up, but IMs were off & i was already being told of more being said by others so i did make a heated post. it isn't deleted, though i did make it private because i don't like leaving drama up. as with rule updates, they're tagged as "tbd //" and later removed.

on a related, but separate note:

people who talk to me and know me, know the kind of person i am. i have been in way more fandoms than hi3, hsr, or even genshin. i've been on this site a long time and multiple people have known me for years. they know that i keep to myself a lot of the time & only seem to get dragged into drama when it relates to setting boundaries. as stated in my rules, i am exclusive and not dupe friendly. this often leads to me blocking simply for comfort. otherwise, i have only ever blocked people for breaching my rules. breaching my triggers. have i always handled my blocking in ways people prefer it to be handled (via a DM beforehand, knowledge of why first, etc?) absolutely not. especially not when it's related to my triggers, as i state in my rules, seeing those untagged/unfiltered sends me into a trauma response. i have, in the past, contacted people prior to softblocking or hardblocking to let them know why - and these instances have ended in things varying from my mental health being invalidated, being called names (bitch, most often) & often, honestly, end up escalating to something worse.

aside from trying to defend myself, i have only ever, ever said anything about drama in relation to someone harassing me, making violent threats, calling names, etc. i've kept to myself, blocked these people to keep my distance, and it's still somehow a problem. they are still coming to my accounts to keep tabs or, if they deem fit, find ways to stir the pot again. i know people were keeping tabs on my posts, because these people who i've had blocked for years now were making posts about mine. not even knowing what it was about. honestly, after being told of some of the people who have been known to stalk and harass the blogs of myself and other mutual friends, i got paranoid. because it was not only just straight up block evading me, but these people i've been avoiding have harassed, have made violent threats, have called names and been disrespectful when i tried to end on peaceful terms. i won't say names because it doesn't matter. i'm not here to start a witch hunt, and on the same note, i'm not wanting a target on my back when i've already had problems of varying degrees with these people.

that brings me to my dni. in regards to my dni additions, i did add a new group on there due to a prior callout, and this situation: namely, because i felt this was on a level of baseless accusations as a previous callout mention and it did heavily upset me after seeing what i was accused of because of this. my dni does not change according to fandom, and has remained the same (with minor updates) since my time in the league fandom. the recent update including the lesbian erasure dni rule was added as it was in my original rules on my caitlyn blog (my caitlyn carrd can be found here, the last rule being established as i also have a diana, and planned to write neeko - canon lesbians to the league universe. it's something i've been vocal about there as well.)

i am a very firm believer in curating your own space of comfort. write what you want with who you want, but my rules and dni are for my space. to explain why i do not want to engage with certain topics or people who have made me uncomfortable, often due to situations that are related to my triggers and ocd. regardless of this, i do not condemn anyone for who they decide to write with, because at the end of the day this is just writing. i wouldn't accuse or try to instigate drama between two people without first talking. just wish i had been extended the same courtesy.

[galacticjester]

I posted 2,413 times in 2022

117 posts created (5%)

2,296 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@edgeanescence

@s-nnoh

@wavedashdotppt

@than487

@dino--draws

I tagged 734 of my posts in 2022

#pla spoilers - 32 posts

#pokemon legends arceus spoilers - 31 posts

#legends arceus spoilers - 30 posts

#toh spoilers - 14 posts

#hardenshipping - 13 posts

#don’t rb - 11 posts

#yeah - 10 posts

#pokemon trailer spoilers - 8 posts

#vent - 8 posts

#ask game! - 8 posts

Longest Tag: 123 characters

#unless it’s like a legendary or something in which case i try using regular ones and if that doesn’t work i’ll switch it up

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I literally never make posts about this kinda stuff on here, I try to keep my blog free of the issues happening in the world. But even as someone not living in the US I want to make it very clear that if you support the overturning of Roe v Wade I want you to fuck off. Block me. I do not want you here. You disgust me if you think women (and anyone else with a uterus) should have their bodies controlled that way. Abortion is not murder. It’s a human right.

58 notes - Posted June 25, 2022

#4

The funny discord people in my phone seemed to like these so I’m gonna post them here too!

-Pokemon produce different 'auras' depending on their type, and these auras have an effect on the humans around them. If a Pokemon is a dual type then the two auras mix. I came up with ideas for each type but I'm not 100% sure about some of them:

Normal - Comforting and peaceful, puts you in a very neutral state

Fire - A general warmth

Water - Like you’re standing in the rain

Grass - Soft feeling from a pollen-like aura, but can affect hayfever

Electric - Static-like feeling, sometimes it makes your hair stand a little

Ice - Cold, sometimes comfortingly so and sometimes too much

Fighting - Helps to boost your confidence

Poison - Makes you feel more dangerous and vicious

Ground - Amplifies feelings of strength

Flying - The feeling of being somewhere windy, whether strong or light

Psychic - Boosts your brainpower, but also can cause headaches

Bug - Gives the feeling of being extremely light and fast

Rock - Provides a feeling of toughness, as if you can survive anything

Ghost - Has the vibe of being watched, either in a protective or unsettling way

Dark - It helps those around you to feel a sense of dread

Dragon - Makes you feel much more powerful, and sometimes more aggressive

Steel - The feeling of safety and protection, as if nothing negative can hurt you

Fairy - Has a calming tone and helps you to relax

63 notes - Posted April 8, 2022

#3

Okay so what if

91 notes - Posted April 19, 2022

#2

Sometimes I forget that N’s full name is Natural Harmonia Gropius

Don’t let Ghetsis name your kids

96 notes - Posted April 23, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I made like three versions of this the others are just in my photos

245 notes - Posted March 31, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[mimibtsghost7]

Fuck you and all your little brain washed rats sending people hate because you cant take responsibility for your actions!! But go on stay silent like you always do, pretend its nothing of your business, keep being a fetishizing racist delulu like you love to be while pretending to be the best blog on tumblr!!!

NOT like anyone will see this but YOU will so LET’S GOOO!!!~~

TW: mental health and more (if you feel like this can trigger you, pls don’t read this, breathe in and out and listen to this HERE and remember I love you), loads of tea and Mimi NOT being a friendly and kind ghost. 

funny enough: 

I never pretended of said I was the best blog. But I guess the fact that you say it might be because you heard it frequently? Thanks for thinking so^^

I sent hate to no one and u r the one sending it to me rn ^^ In my whole 4 year journey on Tumblr I received a lot of love but also worse hate that you can imagine. Yes you are saying now you are receiving hate ... funny how it’s bad when It’s addressed to you but when it’s at me and my dear followers it is not. Still, I never told anyone to go hate on you. You were the idiot that tagged my old blog and as soon as my blog was gone pple searched me and found out you were the reason behind this. But as you keep hating on me. Let me tell you I am kind but don’t mistake that for me being a coward.

I am not into insulting others and I don’t care much if you insult me. BUT don’t YOU DARE touch my dear followers. Insulting ain’t hard. Let me try: The only rat here is you hiding in your hole as an anon. I went and compared your writing with this ask and previous hate asks. And it was you~ Good for you~ the sewers smell just like your filthy mouth spilling sh*t left and right. So on brand. However, I know who you are @hobisbeautifulass Hi ^^

Me racist? HAHAHAHAH you truly know NOTHING about me nor my ex-blog’s message. It was a place when you were welcomed no matter your skin color, religion, gender ... proof? well it got deleted thanks to you. but ask around this time and search for who reblogged my posts as they were always the top of the tags (even if I don’t trust how bad you are at research). I supported the BLM movement and still do and will always do but I did so veeery early without anyone telling me. Not for the notes but because of my humanity. I wished my dear followers’ happy holidays no matter their religions. And never cared about those things. Why judge someone on something based on religion or how they were born. As for the LGBTQ+ community, I was always and will always be there for love being love. I talked about mental health and opened venting nights. I helped left and right and when I was receiving hate because of people like you spitting lies about me. What did I do? Did I go online and called people bad? No. I looked back at myself and asked myself if I did anything wrong. I tried to educate myself and apologized sincerely when I had to. I read books and watched documentaries to learn how to become a better human. AND never repeated a mistake twice. You tend to forget that our cultures are different and sometimes you grow up to see some things as normal when they are not. This is not an excuse tho, so I always believed that I was lacking and if someone had something to say against me, there is a chance they are right and just in case I should reflect on myself. But for your case it was pure nonsense. ME? a stalker? how can I stalk when I have social anxiety and at that time couldn’t even leave my room? I am even afraid of taking public transportations and just the other days I was crying from joy when I took a taxi alone. they said I was in Japan stalking Jimin and Jungkook and took a pic when I was NEVER EVER was on that land. You put me on the same list as people who bought info about BTS’ flights to be on the same plane as them? I was stalked before and let me tell you it ain’t cute and fun. I am even scared of the idea of being followed. that’s why I never shared openly my age, country, or anything about me on my blog. that’s why I have no personal social media to this day and that’s why making my ex-blog was some sort of miracle in my life. 

Silent? yes I was silent when I received hate and didn’t even vent to my dear followers or pointed fingers. Why? because I thought as my day was hell I shouldn’t make anyone’s day worse. I was worried about my dear followers with mental illnesses being triggered. I tried to take my life so many times I lost count but I still came here and smiled. It was my safe place and you took it away. Yet, I should pity you? You hated on me first for no reason and you know it deep inside but right now you are trying to convince yourself that you are the angel and feel no guilt. Compared to you. I pointed fingers at no one and didn’t name you when my blog was gone. Why? because compared to you, I thought you will not be able to manage the hate and what was done .. I didn’t want you to suffer the same way I did when you are the one who made me suffer the most the past couple of days. But the kind Mimi is someone you will never remember because you dared touch the friends I love and calling them names. I don’t mind people insulting me but don’t you dare touch my people. I know myself best. My dear friends/followers know me best. I thought ... I could leave without this mess but you keep barking in my ask box and it’s annoying. I left this backup account just to talk to my friends and yet you are here to ruin things again? I should stop being kind to the ones who deserve non of it. I ignored you when I had so many followers and you went silent too because you were scared of me. But as soon as I lost my blog because of you, you went, edited and then reblogged that stalker post. How can I be a stalker? do you even know the definition of a stalker? do you even know shame? well .. I don’t think so.. you said it yourself. You are NOT ashamed (and you reblogged that so many time lol). 

Death threats? this is no competition but thanks to people like you I have been there and wish no one to be there not even you. The only difference is that you almost killed me for real. You were not the sole reason? Great job walking away from you beloved word: RESPONSIBILITY. And I didn’t get just anon hate, I got literal tagging by people like you, DMs, and people pointing guns at me. That’s why I didn’t mention you. I was worried about the one who took away what I worked for for 4 YEARS. I was more sad and concerned about the ARMY fandom here. Do you know how many rely on my updates? do you know how many people said I helped them? do you know any of that? do you think 200k people were “rats”? Do you think if I did and say wrong thing I will not be questioned by those people. I always told my dear followers: “friends, if I do or say anything wrong or share anything that hurts anyone please tell me. I am willing to learn from everyone.” But what did you know? what did you do? Well ..  guess you love notes? As the most notes you ever got and the most attention was when talking about me? 

Love how you talk about fetishing when my blog was what people call “family friendly”. I also like BTS. I love them for their music, talent, personalities and the happiness they give me. I also enjoy BTS’ bond and love their interactions. I posted content of all kinds of interactions JM X JK, JK X V, V X JIN, JIN X SG, SG X JH, JH X RM, RM X JM ... If you are calling this fetishing asian men just because I scream over BTS as a fan and love their bonb. Then aren’t you against the idea of being an ARMY? I was a clear OT7 and you were told that you weren’t right: 

 Then you answered this without even explaining the nonsense about me: 

idk .. I am trying to find sense in your nonsense so .. wait wait let me look at the definition of fetishism first. 

Fetishism /ˈfɛtɪʃɪz(ə)m/ noun: a form of sexual behavior in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, activity, part of the body, etc.

Then .. judging from your URL alone hmmm ... cute. I won’t even talk about the SMUT you write that is full of kinks and fetishism. Well I have no problem with fan fiction but the irony you spit is out of this world.

Also, I made money out of mimibtsghost? HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH no lil one. I worked day and night for FREE. At some point when BT21 just came out and there were no products on AMAZON or anywhere but S.Korea, someone reached out to me to offer 20% off or something for my dear followers. When they asked what I wanted I said what about international giveaways for my dear followers. Basically, made gifs, found content, updates, analysis, edits, and so on for free. Again, w-wait .. Aren’t you the one asking for commissions? Well .. It’s not wrong. But again THE irony. 

So, I went to see that post you made about me with “PROOF” and it was just another person who was salty as I got them blocked I can’t even recall who they were but oh well. Their arguments according to YOU and many should be taken as FACTS just because they said them?  You said HERE that your first comeback was MOST:7 that came in just last year (2020) SO what the hell do YOU know about what happened years before you came when all the proof you pointed at where baseless without any backing?

Let’s see this so wise person you used to delete my blog and what I have done ^^

The gifs: There is a story to this. The first week I came to Tumblr, It was my first time on this site and the first time I share anything. I shared some content and my analysis had a lot of notes for a small creator that started just a week ago. But I made a mistake, I found a gif and posted it while crediting the gif maker. At the time I had NO idea it was wrong. I logged off and after 5 hours I log in and there was a WAR for that ONE gif. The big blog had me blocked and her friend was telling me to take it off. As soon as the person told me I did IMMEDIATELY and apologized againa and again and told them to tell the original gif maker to deblock me as I want to apologize directly and that they can block me after that. They did and I apologized but they just kept insulting me. Of course it was MY mistake and that’s why I apologized. But for them. for a mere gif (yes I say a mere gif because I made so many gifs and they were used on all platforms but I never thought it was necessary to hate that much on someone like they did to me). That blog was big and had big blog mutuals. Thanks to that, I became someone you do NOT become mutuals with but block and never reblog content from. Without any big mutuals. Without any shoutouts. Only my love for BTS, my dear followers’ support and my hard work.. My blog, became bigger and FAST (I got 10k in less than 6 months after I started) and that brought loads of jealousy and thus more rumors. Even if, I apologized and since then made my own gifs. And I made SO many gifsets that I can’t remember how many there were. What I can recall is at some point I made them daily and many times a day.

Ships Jikook? I posted content of ALL the members interactions. I was here at a time where Jikook stans and Taekook stans where always fighting. BUT I posted about both and even made so many posts to encourage loving all the members and all the interactions. I also used the tags solely used for shipping with other big tags to show that BTS’ interactions are all important and their bond is beutiful. That our fandom shouldn’t hate on a member just because they are not part of a ship we like. And wait .. even if I shipped Jikook? I got called ALL those names by someone who ship the members with readers and write sexual scenes? Like, wait ... I am truly confused. Like, write fanfic and do all you want as long as you hurt no one I guess but why am I getting hurt for doing non of it? Like according to you, the person you should be cancelling is yourself?! I am also not into cancel culture like you so hahah whatever.

Posted stalker pics: well wow the story changes each time. Next thing you will hear that I was the one holding a camera for a member in a Vlive lol. Let me teach you about this update thing I was doing. I follow accounts I trust and that’s how we get info circulating fast. I always do reasearch but sometimes mistakes are made. For example when lately people shared pictures of BTS leaving their virtual concerts and schedules. There was a watermark of a news outlet. Normally we trust those but only later we realized that those people stalked BTS. You clearly can’t know it all. But I still didn’t share many pics related to many events (I will not name those as pple can search them even now because some pple never deleted those). And all big accounts shared many pics then deleted later. This happens all the time but it happened like ONCE for me. However, I am called a stalker for that? 

When Jonghyun passed away ... I don’t even wanna recall that night as the memories just ... when that happened I posted about it and send my condolescences. that post had over 10k notes and was at the top the tag. Why did I do that? I was devastated. Yes, many were but I will talk about me rn: I was suicidal the days before that and one of the songs that I listened to when I was broken where by him. I has been in the kpop world since 2006. And learned about his group since their debut with ‘Replay’. I was never a stan but I still knew of many groups and listened to all the songs I liked. I was very sad when he was gone and ANGRY mostly. Why is this angel leaving? Why is someone like me still here? Why did I not leave instead of him? How much did he suffer? And in the midst I posted a post from twitter that stated how agencies usually put down pple with mental illiness and hide it in the industry. Yes, that was important but NOT at that time. I shouldn’t have posted that and I realized after 5 min of doing so that it was WRONG. So I deleted it FAST but it kept being reblogged and I kept getting hate and people telling me: “Go kill yourself”... the sad part is that I almost did as my answer was “true ... why am I still here?” I apologized and logged off then to this day won’t forget crying at 3 AM while walking outside next to my dad. I was outside as I couldn’t breathe anymore and the idea of seeing the walls of my room was hell. I cried and cried and the teary eyes that my father looked at me with are something I am ashamed of to this day. To add one more thing while I am spilling the beans. I hate learning about someone dying. My grandma passed away sometime before that and it was so shocking to me. and some people came and told me when I was mourning her: Go follow that bitch of grandmother of yours. And for what? At that moment I didn’t think I would live to see the next year but I went to therapy and took medecine that was hurting and made me shake all day just to turn somewhat sane. No one knew tho ... I smiled all day and cried all night.. Even on the blog I fought no one of the ones who hated me. I just blocked them but even that was an insult to them?

Again, you said no one should defend me. Yet, you were ready to fight whoever touched anyone around you. What about changing your URL to beautifulassirony

Also THE hypocrisy. If you are sorry then why are you answering an ask of someone isulting someone you want to apologize to? Just make a post wher you apologize or ignore it from the start?

One more thing but surely not the last. You said you were good with research which you are NOT. So, let me show you what an OG detective ARMY can do. But first, as I was scrolling I saw some of your “work” (let’s not even talk about those gifs) and I am just giving my point of view here: I hate how you painted Namjoon as this horny-idiotic-make-dog. Like I get it it’s a fanfic or Namjoon as a dad but ... Namjoon is such a smart man who is very respectful and ofc he is a human with needs like many but what the hell is this way of portraying a character? Also a character is not cool, amazing, and a strong woman just because they curse and belittle their partner. 

Oh well, only you kept reblogging that as it show 36 reblogs when only 33 as still there when I looked and out of those 13 reblogs are yours? (you might have reblogged it more) but again some people might have liked ... people have different taste ... so ... whatever. 

Let’s continue, shall we ^^. You said you were the victim here when I was the one getting robbed right? How can I believe someone who reblogged the post below and was proud calling themselves an abomination or how the Oxford dictionary defines it:  a thing that causes disgust or loathing. For once you weren’t wrong.

What can you expect from someone who has the “I am not like others” kinda mentality while stating relatable things that everyone goes through?

This is getting pretty long. So to sum this up. You are now telling others that hate is NOt ok and that they should be ashamed of themselves when you yourself is not ashamed of hating on me?

I am not the type that sends anon hate. I might ignore some barking but the past days you came and bite me hard. I face the ones I have to face without fear. I know I am not the bad guy here and I don’t care much what you think about me. Even BTS got haters. This says a lot. BUT do NOT dare talk badely of my dear friends/followers. You said you do research well? Start by deleting the post below that was originally by ME from your blog ... oh how meticulous you are. From your baseless receipts to your twisted logic. Indeed people on the internet can say anything and it will be FACTS. You painted me as the devil and painted yourself as this researcher? What’s next you receiving a Phd in ‘pity me’ after your MBA in lies and irony? Whatever~ 

Whaaatever~ Karma will have upcoming talks with you. No need for you to apologize. I never cared about you and you only got attention using me. But I am not here anymore how will you get that blog running now? Are you gonna add me in a fanfic next? No need for you to send me my appearance fee when you do so~ And no need for you to apologize to me just apologize to you conscience if you have any left.  As for me @hobisbeautifulass​ you are just someone I will forget soon anyway~~ 

And because according to what you said HERE when you described the things you hate about people and I thought that was VERY close to how you treated me. Thus, you might really not stand yourself rn.

Do.Not.Worry. BTS are starting the Love Myself campaign again and just in time for you to jump in (you are good at jumping to conclusions about me so I won’t worry about you). I know you don’t like me or my friends but be sure to love yourself at least ^^ 

You are a Hobi stan? Then learn from Hobi to share some sunshine not bring the storm. Have a good day~

[valiantlyjollynightmare]

@marvelousmsmol thanks for saying something about that post about the show and the fandom. That post appeared so much on my dash and it made me feel so bad everytime I saw it.

But I shouldn't feel guilty for enjoying the content someone else isn't enjoying. Especially as long as said content can be avoided.

I love the show. What if it's not perfect? It's been so long and it still keeps people engaged. There must be something good about it. Not to mention it is a kids show. For kids. Who don't even notice half the stuff the fandom is always complaining about. And even so, for a kids show, it's remarkably well thought out and deals with remarkably heavy topics. So, my point is, the show is not, in fact, as disappointing as it's made to seem. It's just not perfect.

The second part bothers me even more. The fandom has been such an important thing for me, I've literally grown and matured with it. I discovered it when I was 14. I'm 19 now. Nsfw stuff has always been in the fandom. But even at 14, coming on ao3 for the first time and not even having figured out that the red square with the white circle meant a fic wasn't completed (IT TOOK ME A WHOLE MONTH TO FIGURE THAT OUT AND STOP TORTURING MYSELF WITH ONGOING FICS), I noticed the rating system and the tags. Not to mention the literal warning page that asked you if you were sure you wanted to proceed and read a fic that might contain blah blah blah.

Those exist for a reason.

If you don't like nsfw content, in 99% of the cases you can avoid it soooo so simply. And sure, there will always be one author who won't tag their fic properly, but it's so easy to just press the back button. No one's making you interract with something you can't vibe with. But just because I don't like something, it doesn't mean that others can't like it either.

Not to mention that 99% of the time there are no 14 years old to be oversexualized either. Aged up means aged up. Aged up means I'm not dealing with 14 year olds. And an adult can be however they want to be. Plus, aging up a character means they're not even oversexualized most of the time. And adults, even teenagers, engage in all kinds of activities and go through all kinds of stuff, including a process of self-discovery and experimenting. Just because I didn't experience something at a certain age doesn't mean no one did and that no one would relate to that thing.

In the end, I'm allowed to create any kind of story I want with these characters, it's called transformative work and fanfiction for a reason. And all this applies to fanart and everything else too. The only condition is using proper tags and warnings. And people do that.

I'm allowed to have my own headcanons, to project on the characters, to vent through them, to just test my creativity on them. And it bothers me so much to see that the literal thousands of amazing fics - and fanworks in general - that this fandom has are shoved into a box that should barely fit a couple exceptions to the rule.

I'm sorry the person who wrote that post is not having the most enjoyable experience in the fandom, but most of the time it's not because you can't have one. Block tags, filter your search. Just scroll past something you don't vibe with.

I don't have anything to comment about the last part of that post though, those works are all amazing lmao, and so are all the people tagged afterwards. But they're not the only ones.

I wanted to post in continuation of that post at first, but then I realized maybe I shouldn't. Op is allowed to have their own likes and dislikes. So I made my own post.

I hope I didn't upset anyone with this, I really needed to vent, I love this fandom too much and just staying silent didn't work this time.

[btsmosphere]

The Web | PJM

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

~summary: Nearly dying was just the beginning. While struggling to deal with the direction life has thrown you, you find yourself at the heart of a web of conspiracy. Maybe it will bring you back to Jimin - if you both make it out alive. Jimin x reader ~word count: 4.8k ~mafia au, established relationship, angst, eventual fluff?(in future parts) Rating: pg15 Warnings: violence, breaking and entering, guns, death, injury, lots of running ~a/n: part 3 let’s get itttt! I had great fun writing this part :) I do have to be honest here tho, motivation has been a little low this week, and the interaction on this story is kind of getting to me. Please please don’t be a silent reader if you enjoy the story, comment and reblog! To everyone who has been sharing and commenting, thank you so much!! I appreciate it all x

this post is a repost for tags!! i would appreciate if you interact with this part 3

Squashed up against the cold metal of the van door, your other shoulder jostled with Sorrell's. There were a small group of you inside, seated on the floor of the vehicle, which was none too comfy as it bumped over holes in the road, making you all sway as one.

Besides the rumbling engine, however, you were silent. You doubted any of them knew each other at all; you were perhaps the only one with a connection here.

Earlier on, Sorrell had led you to the main warehouse floor where the others would join you. Like you, they seemed to emerge from the woodwork, slipping through doors they were clearly well practised in sneaking through.

You weren't honouring your wish to stay alive as well as you had hoped when you made the resolution.

As you leaned against the wall, hood as low over your face as it could be, you had begun to wish you had kept going last night, and left this all behind. It was a lucky thing you hadn't been a known operative of bangtan, or you may well be dead already.

Though it was a relief to be handed the dark cloth of a balaclava, it still made you pause before putting it on. Staring at the material, gaping facelessly back at you, you recalled how many times you had run from people clad in these, how many had fired at you. How many you had shot in return.

But there was no turning back.

You were yet to receive instructions, but no one seemed too anxious about this so you forced yourself to play along, slouching against the rear of the van. All you could do was wait for the inevitable calming of the engine, the slowing of the wheels...

When it finally came, you followed Sorrell's lead as she stood up, being sure to stay in the middle of the pack as you congregated on a dark path. One you instantly recognised.

So far, it seemed your hunch was correct.

This alley was barely a street away from bangtan's headquarters, somewhere you never thought you would be seeing again.

Stuffing your hands in your pockets, away from the cold, you looked around as the front door of the van slammed shut, splitting the quiet of the night. The only sound that could be heard was the faint bumbling of traffic, over which you could easily hear the darkwater leader stomping towards you.

A pile of fabric was dropped at your feet. Curiously, it clanged as it hit the floor.

"Take these bags," he ordered, "you are burglars, okay? Each of you should have a loaded pistol, in case something goes wrong, but just go in and stick to the areas we tell you. Take stuff if you really want, but don't leave your place. Understand?"

The barest mumble of agreement went up as the bags were collected from the ground.

With a frown, you opened yours. Rummaging inside, you easily found the gun, which you stashed at your waist. However, something else was in there too.

Fishing out the piece of paper, you saw the others do the same. Smoothing out the creases, you studied it.

You had seen these plans before.

Not that you needed to, given you knew the building inside out, but these specific plans. They had been lying on Kwangsu's desk before he tried to kill you. Finally getting to see them up close, you brought them right up to your nose, eyes flicking over every detail of bangtan he had mapped out. Where the vents were, the entrances and exits, even secret ones. He had all the codes, all the hiding places.

Instead of a warm gratification, you felt numb. You would have thought some sort of sense of accomplishment might have eased your worry, after learning you were right all along.

But no.

Because all this meant was Jimin and your friends were sharing their home with a traitor.

"Got it?" the man barked, startling you. Looking around at the vague nods, you hurriedly replicated them and followed the pack as they began to move.

Surreptitiously glancing at the paper in your hand, you turned your attention at last to the actual directions. Your group was set to travel through the main hall and take the middle floor of the building. The designated stations marked on the map formed a border of sorts, a line cutting through the place. The line ran between all of bangtan and the boardroom. And in the boardroom…

Lay le déluge.

Of course, that was not included in the map, but you knew full well where it was.

At a nudge from Sorrell, you upped your pace, having fallen a couple of steps behind the group. Having been alerted to where the cameras were, they made a beeline around the view of one such eager eye, blocked in part by a car that was parked there anyway.

Next, pressing against the cold brick of the perimeter wall, you crept closer to the gate which would lead you down, underneath the main building to its lower bunker. This was essentially used as a garage, but now it was to be your passage in.

Slipping through the gate with easy use of the code, you stopped just inside the entrance.

Though huddled together, no warmth permeated you. Your eyes constantly darted around the space, despite being in near total darkness. And you weren’t the only one. The only thing visible was the small red light of a camera, blocking your path.

A collective breath was released as the light died, leader waving you on.

Passing under the device, you looked up at it with a frown. Kwangsu must be inside, turning them off.

Gritting your teeth, you turned your eyes to the path ahead.

Winding your way up and through passages you had only seen a handful of times, the first few began to break away. Kwangsu had been busy. He knew exactly which paths were rarely used. The downside of having such a well-defended maze of a base: it had deadly potential when used against you.

Finally, Sorrell slipped through a doorway, leaving you completely alone.

Having memorised your intended position, you didn’t need your map to get there. As your feet fell on the carpeted halls, you got the sense you were in a museum. Memories from the past hung on the walls, untouched in revered silence.

At last, the correct door revealed itself and you moved towards it, quickly concealed in shadow.

Willing your eyes to adjust, you tapped your foot slowly. You couldn’t just wait here while Kwangsu was on the move, getting exactly what he wanted.

With no way of telling what the others were doing, you prayed none of them would leave their places. They were supposed to be staging a burglary, messing up their areas, almost certainly as a cover for the real treasure to be taken.

Sucking your lower lip into your mouth, you trod silently across to the other exit of the room. This way lead to the surveillance room.

Your every nerve was on edge as you crept further away from your post, fully aware Kwangsu had been working the cameras not long ago. You didn’t want to run across him.

From somewhere behind you, a muffled crash startled you into stillness.

It could have come from any one of the people in this building.

Not having any time to stop and calm down, you bit your tongue determinedly and pushed on. When the camera room was in sight, you flattened your body against the wall as you encroached.

It was dark inside, like the rest of the house, the light wavering from the computer screens lining the walls.

Holding your breath, you slid right up to the door, as close as you dared, and listened.

Silence.

Hand finding its way to the weight of your gun against your body, you looked around the corner.

And stared in horror.

Recoiling, you pressed the back of your hand hard against your mouth, making every effort not to gag. Even in the low light, you could see the blood oozing from the neck of the person slumped in the operating seat.

But you had to go in.

Averting your eyes, you stepped inside. You didn’t want to know who it was. It couldn’t be one of the boys, but it was likely to be someone you knew.

You were going to make sure Kwangsu paid.

Despite your hatred, you had to admit he was smart. Being the one room without cameras inside, filled with screens instead, this was the perfect place to get away with murder.

Forcing breaths out evenly, your eyes scanned over every screen in turn, noting the ones that stared back, blank, having been disactivated.

The sheer quantity of footage laid out in front of you was overwhelming, but you forced yourself to take the screens in one by one, dark room after empty space, until you finally found motion.

In one of the hallways this side of your border, Kwangsu was practically jogging towards the boardroom. But he wasn’t there yet. Constantly glancing over his shoulder, his hands fiddled with his shirt cuffs as he paced it out of shot of the first camera.

You crossed the room quickly to the next screen he emerged on, trying to assess his route.

The cocky bastard was right out in the open! No secret passages, no hidden corridors – he was hot-footing it up the main staircase.

It was the most direct route after all, and he did have cover.

You had to get to him.

But as you shot one last glare at the screen, preparing to give chase, a flicker caught your eye on the screen beside it. One of the bedroom doors had opened.

Bangtan knew.

You turned and ran.

Following in Kwangsu’s steps, you found the halls empty, silent bar your panting breaths as you rushed through them. The closer you got to the boardroom, the more danger there was of running into him.

At last, your nerve gave out and you broke away, taking another passage that led around the side.

Slowing your pace as you reached the final door, behind which lay the boardroom, you trod carefully, pushing it open softly. Your face was hot underneath the fabric covering it, but you kept your eyes trained on the growing crack of light as the door opened.

Cool metal rested under your fingertips as you readied your gun.

Your muscles were poised to move any second, but you forced them to wait. Once the door finally left enough space to look into the room beyond, you found precisely what you were looking for. If only you had been gifted a camera as well as a gun.

Kwangsu had his back to you, currently lifting the majestic painting from its place at the head of the room.

Your gun raised, finding its target with practised ease. You took a breath.

Time you never should have wasted.

The unmistakeable sound of a gunshot rang out, but it hadn’t come from you. Reacting in an instant, you jumped back behind the cover of the door, only hoping Kwangsu had turned slower.

Somewhere in the depths of the house, the sound of something smashing was soon overtaken by another shot, then another. A burst ricocheted through the building before quiet reigned again.

But only for a moment.

Over the pounding of your heart, the sound of a door.

“Hey!” a shout went up as the main door to the roomed slammed shut again.

Pushing the door as much as you dared, you watched as a man, face covered in dark fabric like you, marched down the centre of the room. It was so alien to see a darkwater in the middle of such a space, a black abyss within the normally warm room.

But where long windows usually shed golden light, now there was only shadow as the man reached Kwangsu.

“They’re onto us,” he muttered roughly, “just give me that and get back there.”

The painting changed hands.

“Hold on, wait,” Kwangsu stopped him as he made to move.

Eyes widening, you froze in place. Had he seen you?

“I’m meant to look like I’ve been fighting you off,” he said instead.

Hurriedly placing the large artwork against the desk, the other man readied his fist. He may have – literally – asked for it, but seeing the punch land on Kwangsu’s face gave you some sort of grim satisfaction.

But now the painting was on the move again, bangtan’s future possibly leaving along with it as the man melted away through a doorway at that end of the room.

Gunshots shattered the night again, scattered and irregular, before fading again.

It was enough to prompt Kwangsu into motion though, and you pulled back once again as he made his way back across the room.

Back falling against the wall, your breaths filled the darkness. Le déluge was going in one direction, and the traitor in the other. One headed out, one back in.

You pushed away, new destination locked in your mind.

As you ran through the halls towards the sound of gunfire, your own stayed firm in your hand.

He had to be here somewhere – as rooms flew past, you looked into each doorway, each time met with emptiness.

Even the shouts and gunshots that grew louder did not deter you. The blood racing through your veins was boiling. Kwangsu was not going to get away from you.

Tearing through a room, knowing it to be a shortcut to the thick of the fight, you spilled out the other side and instantly staggered back at the sight of a body slumped on the floor. Blood was leaking into the carpet, the figure completely motionless.

Your breaths scrambled in your throat, overtaking themselves as you tore your eyes away. You couldn’t even see their face, as it was covered just like yours.

Suddenly, bullet spray littered the corridor to your left, and you were off again, nearly tumbling over as your feet stumbled to get away. Flinging yourself around the next corner, you sprinted past a smashed up desk in the hallway, small shards of glass probably sticking into your shoes as you veered around a fallen artwork.

Chucking a glance over your shoulder as you raced around the next bend, you were oblivious to the startled man in front of you.

When you looked forwards again, your limbs froze in place for a terrifying split-second before you were backpedalling, skidding back around the corner.

Taehyung.

Tae, your friend, who was now chasing after you, bullets flying in the air.

There was no way you could outrun Taehyung. Or any of bangtan, but he was the one you had to worry about right now. At least it wasn’t Jungkook, but that wasn’t much consolation as your feet pounded on the floor, body moving as fast as you could push it.

In a desperate attempt to escape, you dashed through rooms, taking every turn you could, but Taehyung knew this place as well as you, footsteps not getting any further away. In fact, he was gaining on you.

Your burning legs were powerless to carry you any faster.

Flinging yourself into yet another room, you dived to the floor, sliding under a desk beside the door. Keeping your gasping breaths silent was nearly impossible, but you couldn’t keep going. Tae’s heavy steps were about to reach you-

“Taehyung!”

You gulped at the sound of Jimin’s voice.

“We need to get to the boardroom.”

Hobi.

As Taehyung abandoned his hunt, rushing away with the others, you slumped back against the wall. Air left you in bursts as you tried to recover.

Knowing that by now you might well too late, you climbed to your feet, bracing your arm against the wall for support. You had let Kwangsu slip through your fingers. He had definitely had enough time to rejoin the others and tell them his twisted version of events.

You wouldn’t be able to take them all on.

Chewing your lip, you cast your eyes longingly at the hallway to your left, where Taehyung and the others had left for the boardroom.

But you couldn’t risk it.

Jogging away, you let your feet carry you down a staircase, closer to the exit. As you reached the bottom, a figure walked from a doorway, cutting into your path.

“Sorrell?”

“We need to go,” she said, leaving no room for argument as she grabbed your arm.

Allowing her to lead you, the two of you hurried further down towards the bunker level where you had entered. Even as you moved in shadow, you could see her clutching onto her upper arm.

“Are you hurt?” you questioned.

“Doesn’t matter,” she brushed off, voice tense.

Frowning, you hurried after her as she upped her pace. At last you emerged through the gate, thankful it hadn’t yet been secured.

It didn’t take long to reach the sanctuary of the backstreets, but Sorrell didn’t let up her speed, leaving you trailing as you wove your path away from bangtan’s base. Her grip on her arm equally stayed steadfast.

“Seriously, are you okay?” you called.

She looked back, irritated.

“I can help,” you insisted, “please, let me. Did they shoot you?”

“Yes,” she muttered. It sounded like her teeth were gritted.

“When we get back to the van, I’ll clean it, okay?” you decided, “we can find something for a bandage-“

“The van isn’t here.”

“…what?”

“They don’t pick us up after jobs,” Sorrell said without looking at you. She had a way of speaking that made it sound like you had missed something incredibly obvious.

“They- they’ve left us?”

“Yes,” she was exasperated now. “Let’s just get back.”

“Maybe we should stop? You’re hurt.”

Silence answered you. Her eyes were fixed on the floor jaw locked and lips pursed.

A frown creased your own face.

“Sorrell-“

“I’m fine.”

If you weren’t mistaken, her voice wobbled, but she seemed determined. Sighing, you dropped the matter, resigning yourself to the journey back to the warehouse. Though you kept an eye on her, she stayed at least an arm’s length from you as you walked in silence.

But you were tired too, and didn’t have the energy to fill the space.

The walk was long. By the time you reached the warehouse, you slipped through deserted corridors to the room you had previously slept in. Of course, you were well aware the building was not as dark and deserted as it appeared, since the gang had come away with their intended treasure.

Somewhere beyond the few hallways you saw on your way up, the gang would be hard at work. A nest of hornets, their nectar secured in the centre.

Despite the exhaustion setting into your body, you ended up lying awake on the hard floor. Knowing the fruits of Kwangsu’s labour, the stolen painting, was just floors away, refused to leave your mind.

But you weren’t in any position to make a move now.

It was impossible to prevent your mind replaying earlier events. You had been so close, if only you pulled the trigger sooner, if only you had caught him somehow…

Rolling over, you suppressed a groan for Sorrell’s sake. It was too late now, but you didn’t know what you could do next. Sorrell had been good to you, but the thought of staying with darkwater made you uneasy. Morals aside, they treated people like you so badly you would never be able to build yourself up to anything if you stayed.

However, a small but insistent voice wouldn’t quit reminding you that perhaps you ought to leave bangtan to fight their own battles now. Now they had left you behind.

It was with the constant storm of thought swirling in your mind that you finally found rest, albeit sporadic. Every now and then, you would wake again, same old battered roof staring down at you until you were pulled under once again.

Another such time, your eyes cracked open, internally cursing your inability to sleep-

And then you froze.

This was definitely not like the other times you had woken up.

Someone was muttering something.

“She left her post- that’s how bangtan broke through…”

Through bleary eyes, you came face-to-face with several pairs of boots. Quickly alerted, your gaze travelled upwards.

Standing in front of you, fronted by Sorrell, were three darkwater members. Well, you could only assume that was who they were, as you had no more time to think on it before they were lunging for you.

Springing to your feet, you scrambled away. As your hand automatically found your bag, your eyes travelled to Sorrell, filled with panic.

One glance at her expressionless face was all you got before you were running.

You had done too much running lately.

The thought was only fleeting, just like the floorboards beneath you as you sprinted away from your pursuers, further into the building. Up, up, following the path Sorrell had taken you the night before, the only route you knew – but it could only take you so far.

Flying through the doorway to the room you had slept in before, you turned your head wildly. There was only one way out, and then you were dashing through it and into the unknown territory beyond.

Down stairs this time, and through corridors that gradually looked more modern, like they were actually lived in.

The smattering of noise behind you let you know you still had company. But that soon doubled as a couple of guards strolled from a doorway just up ahead. Skidding to a halt, you launched yourself in the opposite direction, only just making it to another doorway before the group chasing you emerged too.

Before long, you had reached the perimeter of the building again, windows whizzing past as you pushed down the hall.

The next corner you arrived at would only take you further into the building again. You didn’t want to attract any more attention than you already had.

Call it stupid, but your mind was running by itself. Sparing a moment to throw your bag across the floor, contents spilling out as if you had dropped it on the run, you turned to the window instead.

And jumped.

Below, there was a structure built against the main body of the warehouse. It served to shorten your fall, but you still felt the impact as you landed, bruises certainly collecting beneath your skin.

The wooden rood was even less sturdy than that on the warehouse, sagging alarmingly under you. Not daring to stand back up, you scooted yourself as far as you could to the edge and dropped down the remaining few feet.

Though you hoped that would have shaken them off, you could never be sure who was still watching, and so you resumed running, panting now as you forced your feet once more to a blur beneath you.

True darkness gathered around you as you moved further from the highway streetlights.

Still, you did not stop.

A small track ran along the back of the property, a patch of trees beyond it. On the other side of that, you finally allowed yourself to ease up the pace, heading around the fences of the industrial area you found yourself in.

Yanking your hood up, you made your way past factories and warehouses – ones that were actually in use. They probably had cameras.

You almost had yourself convinced that you slowed to a walk to look less suspicious.

Almost.

Really, you were tired.

Physically, your muscles felt the strain of your recklessness, the constant running away from danger. But perhaps that tendence was helping preoccupy you from the real blow.

No destination fixed in your mind, you let your feet wander. It wasn’t until you saw the artificial light from a kebab van on the corner that you knew where you were going.

As you walked below the launderette sign, you trapped your lip between your teeth. Things might have been so much simpler if you had just let that kind woman call Jimin…

Now, things were too complicated. You may well be on Kwangsu’s radar now, a notion that made you shudder.

Perhaps you should have got in touch while you had the chance, before everything spiralled out of control. Of course, there was the slight fact holding you back that Jimin apparently wanted you dead.

But now you saw that was surely another of Kwangsu’s lies.

Yes, you had argued. You had disagreed, but that wasn’t like Jimin. And, yes, he was a mafia operative, well used to killing, but you had shared years together. It made no sense for him to turn his back on you so suddenly.

There was no way, back when you met, that he could have been fake. He would have shown some emotion, anything. You wanted desperately to believe he would have fought for you, just as you would for him in a heartbeat.

Before Kwangsu got involved, you had something real, and as much as he might have trusted Kwangsu (despite your warnings), he wouldn’t put what you had aside for the sake of a friend.

Nearing the bridge, you stared up at the imposing structure. It wasn’t too far above the water, and you remembered having time straighten out, brace for impact-

With a heavy sigh, you let yourself rest at last in the shadow underneath.

At first, your mind had been riddled with Kwangsu’s words, terrified as you were forced to defend yourself and focus on surviving. You hadn’t thought to question the integrity of his words, which you now highly suspected were false.

Though you were wary of him before, this was so much bigger than you had imagined. You had no idea when you went to his study that night that he was a member, a seemingly important one at that, of darkwater. They were probably the only people he had been honest to.

Resting the weight of your head on your hands, you prayed you were right. If you wanted to save Jimin, you had to believe yourself. You had to believe in him.

The remnants of a café. Tables overturned, chairs on their sides, glass shattered.

There are bodies. Bodies clad in black, balaclavas over their faces. You don’t even have to check their arms – it must be the doing of darkwater.

You wished you had checked their arms. Just like the bodies inside their base right now, they would be blank. They were just crash dummies, disposable and faceless.

“Thanks, Kwangsu. I don’t know what would have happened if you hadn’t spotted them on your way here.”

“No problem, no problem at all. I’m just glad nothing happened to you, these guys are scary.”

Jimin laughs.

Folded arms, stubborn across your chest

“I’m just saying, why don’t you send me? You trained me yourself.”

“Kwangsu has enough experience. Back in high school, he was with me at my first ever drug deal. He started at the same time.”

Jimin’s grin, so assured.

“He’s just a petty thief-“

“So no-one knows he’s connected to us. He won’t be recognised. This is in a busy area, Y/N, and I won’t have you getting hurt.”

Your sigh; Jimin’s arms around you.

“Y/N, why won’t you lay off? He’s proved himself enough times.”

“Hey, I don’t want to get in the way of you guys-“

“No, Yoongi’s right,” Jimin defends.

You gape at him.

Kwangsu meets your eyes as you leave the room.

A distant bang shakes you, cutting through your spinning head. Tensing, you turn towards the source of the noise, though it came from well within the city on the other side of the bridge.

The noise isn’t alone. Someone is probably fighting.

As the whirlwind in your head clears, a frown grows on your face. Given the direction the gunshots are coming from, you can only presume the fight is in red clan territory. Maybe they are fighting bangtan.

For a moment, you are reminded of Jimin. You know just how he stands in battle, having fought beside him, hidden breathless around corners with adrenaline pulsing through your veins.

If your body wasn’t quite so defeated, you might have gone closer. Jimin fighting alone wasn’t a thought you could stomach. Right now, there wasn’t too much of the world you could stomach.

And so you let your eyes slide closed, falling asleep to the sound of gunfire.

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