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shurisneakers · 6 months ago

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unsolved (vii)

Summary: Bucky doesn't even believe in the paranormal. So who the hell thought it was a good idea to stick him in a series about everything haunted for the internet's amusement? With his loose-canon of a teammate who has no concept of subtlety or shits left to give, to make things even worse. (Buzzfeed unsolved AU)

Warnings: swearing, frustrated bucky, obnoxious reader, mentions of hauntings and the paranormal.

A/N: hello. i am late again. i almost gave up but we are here. for better or for worse. i will most likely go back ad edit the second half again ok love u guys mwahmwah

Previous part || Series masterlist

Only after hours, nay, a full day of hunching over his desk, eyes red-rimmed and burning, four crushed cans of energy drinks next to him lending to him the nervous energy of a chihuahua, Bucky realises that there’s no beating it.

He absentmindedly takes another sip of the RedBull, flinching when the taste registers. Either he’d reached his threshold or the medicine flavour had begun morphing into something else entirely. The caffeine didn’t even work on him, so really, he was just placebo-ing himself into having energy.

Every site he’s visited has had a vastly different interpretation; ones that don't match what he thinks has been happening, or the context past his past provides. Others are simply blatantly wrong based on the additional research he, in his infinite wisdom and totally accurate self-assessment tendencies, has been gathering in the last 3 days.

The Star. Six of Cups. The Hanged Man.

Bucky knows he could ask someone in real life about this, someone who possibly had more experience than a simple website whose code broke every time he tried to scroll to the bottom. However, that would mean that he had to tell them his dead sister was probably haunting him out of her spite and hatred for the very fibres of his being.

Also, Bucky may be haunted by his dead relatives, but he’s not haunted enough to actually leave his room over it.

Video consultations were also an option, but he’s convinced that if word got out that Bucky Barnes was half-convinced ghosts were following him around, it would make headlines for a mighty long week.

Therefore, he resorts to shady, online websites that demand he pay up before giving him the results of the readings they’ve done for him.

The “lady” that he paid to talk to using Steve’s credit card on mistytarot.com types for a very long time before a message comes through.

The thought bubble disappears for another half an hour, and Bucky thinks hat either she is a complete scam, or it’s run by someone who is about as technologically proficient as Steve was.

But a message does in fact come through, and it’s enough to have him be covninced that the 20 bucks he blew on Steve’s card was worth it.

Lady Lilia

Considering that you think you’re being haunted, The Star could represent the absence of hope. Do you feel like you’re being trapped in darkness? As if you are being abandoned by the universe and with no room for healing?

B. Barneswell i forgot about it until now

Lady Lilia If your sister passed away a long time ago, the reason The Six of Cups may have presented itself is because you may be feeling like you're ensnared in the past, constantly reliving moments that hurt or confuse you, rather than finding peace.

A frown grows on his face.

Lady Lilia If you’re haunted by a person who used to be in your life and it is reminding you of past mistakes, The Hanged Man could be because feel like you're stuck in a cycle of stagnation, unable to move forward, as if these spirits are keeping you suspended in a state of emotional paralysis.

However, if the cards were upright–

Bucky slams the laptop shut, inhaling and exhaling sharply through his nose.

From the corner of his eye, his phone lights up with the fifth missed call in the last ten minutes, but considering that he keeps that thing on silent, he never even noticed.

Shoving aside whatever he may be thinking for the moment, he checks the caller ID, only for feelings of confusion and despair to be immediately replaced with annoyance, or disgust even.

He calls back anyway, preparing for the worst.

“Did you drink all my RedBull?” Clint booms the second he picks up.

“No,” Bucky lies smoothly.

“Fucker, I know it was you. Pay me back. With interest.”

“No.”

Clint switches to whining. “You know I need that shit to stay awake at night. Some of us don’t have superhero cocaine in our system.”

“I don’t care, go to sleep at a normal hour.”

“Say, did you drink every last one?” Clint instantly switches to a curious tone for a second. “Because one of them’s not like the others.”

Bucky looks at the cans that littered his bedroom floor. “Why?”

“I can’t tell you what it is over the phone.”

“Why?”

“Let’s just say it’s not exactly allowed in the country, but–”

Bucky cuts the call and tosses it onto the bed.

He runs a hand through his hair, softly exhaling while contemplating whether or not to continue the chat. Steve wouldn’t miss another 20 dollars, he had the wealth of a small prince with all that army back pay bullshit. In fact, Steve should ideally be funding more of Bucky’s endeavours.

There comes a knock at his door.

Bucky immediately leaps off the bed, sprinting to the door, because he fuckin knows that knock, goddamn it–

He throws open the door before you get the chance to full body slam against it.

“Oh.” You blink, relaxing away from your stance. “Hey. How’d you know–”

“You do this every week,” he breaks in. “You do this multiple times a day.”

“Don’t you dare say I’m predictable,” you warn, raising a finger. “I’ll start crying right here, then you’ll have to deal with that. You wanna see snot running down my–”

Bucky slams the door shut again, waiting to turn around.

“Can you take me to the doctor?” Your voice is muffled through the solid wood.

It’s enough to make him hesitate, hand on the doorknob.

“What’s wrong with you?” he inquires..

“Nothing, I’m perfect,” you reply instinctively, before course correcting, “Wait, no, I’m sick.”

He lets his head drop against the door. “Go to the fucking infirmary.”

“The infirmary told me to go to the hospital. Can you just take me?” you bug. “They won’t discharge me unless I have someone with me to drive me back.”

“You have a head injury?” Bucky asks, before following it with, “Actually, that tracks.”

“Rude.”

“Ask Nat.”

“Nat’s in Lagos.”

“Ask Sam.”

“Yoga.”

“Clint.”

“Really.”

“Glad to know I’m your first choice,” he mumbles, opening up the door.

You send him a blistering smile. “You’re my favourite choice.”

______

“You gotta take this turn,” you instruct, too close to the actual crossing.

“The nearest hospital’s five minutes away, what the hell are you talking about?“ he points out, eyes on the road.

“We’re going to the one on King’s Road,” you read off of Google maps. “Take that lef-– well, you missed that. Now you gotta make a u-turn.”

“What’s the problem with Chastain Park?” he demands. “King’s Road is half an hour away.”

“This one’s got all my files,” you insist. “Otherwise I gotta start over and it's so much effort.”

“Aren’t you in a database?”

“Yeah, but not a medical one.”

Bucky lets out something akin to a growl and a groan. “What's the time?”

“Like eight thirty?”

“What’s the time,” he emphasises, because he most definitely had another email due from another lady on the internet who he had sent his cards to a few hours ago.

“Fine, it’s eight twenty two,” you shoot back. “Did that make a big difference?”

“Yeah, it did actually,” he fires indignantly, “My life is radically different. You have no way of knowing.”

“Liar. You’re a lying liar, who lies.” You scoff. “And details are for losers.”

“Losers can drive all the way back to drop you off at the infirmary and let them deal with you.”

You relent, flashing him a grin. “This won’t take long.”

“You say this every fuckin’ time,” he groans, before complying and taking a u-turn anyway.

“You’re fucking joking,” he states.

“No, it’s actually called lying,” you correct casually.

“Is this an abandoned hospital? What the fuck?” Bucky asks, staring up at the huge decaying building.

The outside looks run-down, with cracked, weathered brick walls and broken windows. The entrance is blocked off with rusted gates, some sections of which have fallen over. As the car rolls up, the air is thick with a musty, damp smell, mixed with a faint odor of decay.

“Yes,” you say simply, opening the trunk of the car and pulling out all the supplies you had from last time. “Video time. Let’s go.”

“You didn’t have to lie,” Bucky mumbles. “I’d have showed up.”

You give him a deadpan look. “You famously never do.”

That’s fair, but also, that was the old Bucky. The new Bucky circa this week is a bit more… invested. He feels the need to gather some more information, and unfortunately, the only opportunity to do that is here.

So for the time being, he decides he will hang on. For purely selfish reasons.

“Just tell me next time,” he grunts.

You observe him for a second like you're about to call him out on something, but instead you simply say, “Okay.”

Bucky grabs his usual stuff– the spirit box, a lapel mic, while you levitate the camera.

“Hello?”

You both look beyond the camera at the same time to someone stalking up to you.

“Who’s there?” demands a middle aged woman with straw blonde hair, wrinkles decorating sunburnt skin, and a navy blue jacket.

“Uh–”

“Who are you?” she asks, cautiously stopping a few feet away.

“We’re here on a video shoot,” you inform. “Just wanted to check the place out.”

“Oh, you’re one of them camera folk,” she says, ponting her flashlight at you. “Those ghost hutner types.”

“That’s us,” you agree, flinching from the bright light. “We're from The Graveyard Shift.”

“Who are you?” Bucky cuts in, because why should only the both of you explain.

“I’ve been working security here for the last thirty years.” She shines her flashlight at the musty place. “Name’s Brenda.”

“Why does an abandoned hospital need a security guard?” Bucky inquires.

“Management just underwent a shift. White collars are setting up a mall here, so they bought up the whole place, fired everyone and now they’re gonna build an all year ski world or something in there.” There’s a tick in her jaw as she draws it out. “Whole damn place is cursed. They better hope it only burns down.”

“Okay,” you drag out, giving Bucky a sideways glance. “Anyway, we’re gonna go check out the place. See if we can find some ghosts.”

“Oh, you’ll see ‘em, alright. Everyone who was collateral damage in the buyout is still in there.” Her voice is distant, arm coming to rest on her hip. “You’ll have to hit up specific rooms. Y’all got a floorplan?”

“No, figured we’d just wing it.” You pause. “Hospital wing it.”

“Shut up,” Bucky replies on instinct.

“You’re gonna be spending a lot of time in there if y’all dont know where youre’ heading. It’s a maze,” she continues, ignoring your brilliant joke. “I can show you the rooms, but I can’t guarantee that it has ghosts in there.”

“Uhhh—” you begin.

“It’ll cut down your time in half.”

“Deal,” Bucky says immediately, sticking out his hand for a shake.

Brenda sticks out her hand too, only to wince immediately, following it up with a curse.

“What’s wrong?” you interject.

“Damn back’s killing me,” she mutters. “You’d think death would stop the pain, but it’s not let up yet. Come on then.”

Both of your eyebrows knit together at her statement, but she leaves no room for a reply as she marches inward, one hand on the small of her spine.

Bucky elects to use his phone flashlight, as if he keeps that shit charged above 40% at any given point of time. If anything is not going to make it out of the night alive, it was that thing.

The air inside is stale and heavy, filled with the scent of mildew and old, rusted metal. All three of your footsteps echo in the silence, reverberating through empty halls with each cautious step. The moonlight in conjunction with the flashlight casts long, unsettling shadows. The faint taste of dust lingers in the back of Bucky’s throat that he cannot get rid of.

“Y’all gonna sleep in here tonight?” Brenda pipes up, swinging her flashlight around.

You look at Bucky with a grin that’s alarming.

His face immediately pulls into one of “What the fuck”

“No, we aren’t,” you announce instead. “But do people do that often?”

“You’d be surprised,” she comments. “You’re not the first folks we’ve had here with those fancy shmancy gadgets.”

“That explains how you have a tour all planned.”

“We get a bunch of you every couple of months.”

“Who is ‘we’?” Bucky cuts in.

She pays him no need. “Y’all run a podcast?”

Bucky looks personally affronted. “No, we do not.”

“We run a YouTube channel,” you offer instead. “It’s for ghosts and stuff.”

“I see,” she considers, tone thoughtful. “So, this will go up online?”

“Unfortunately,” Bucky murmurs.

“Have you caught ghosts before?”

“Not even one–”

“Several,” you chirp. “And we have a witch cat. Her name’s Alpine.”

Bucky narrows his eyes at you. “Since when is her name Alpine?”

“I gave her a bunch of options and she told me she liked that best.”

“The cat can’t talk.”

“To you. She and I chat shit everyday,” you dish back. “She hates that stupid fern in your room, she says it smells.”

That fucking fern was not even his idea. But Sam got it for him when he moved in, so there was a zero percent chance it would be leaving any time soon.

“Tell her to fuck off.”

“Y’all got a large following?” Brenda interrupts.

“Building towards it.” You look at her before looking at Bucky. “Once we hit a sizable amount and Bucky becomes an official internet boyfriend, we’ll stop the series.”

He sends you a withering look. “We’ll be doing this till I die.”

“Nonsense, everyone loves you,” you dismiss. “You’re a pretty boy and extremely irritable. They think you’re hilarious.”

His nose twitches, and he feels the need to clear his throat.

“Your camera records ghosts?” Brenda asks again.

“We’ve got a bunch of devices. We’ll catch it,” you sound confident.

“Great, because here’s the first stop,” she says, pressing her shoulder onto a double door.

The door groans as she pushes, its hinges protesting with a long, rusty screech, the cold metal heavy under her hand. A stale gust of air hits your face, carrying the faint smell of rot as the door finally gives way.

She steps back with a small huff, stretching her back with a small, “Shit.”

The pale blue walls had turned greenish, wallpaper peeling away. Counters were covered with a thin layer of dust. Old tools laid unused on the surgical table, once stainless steel but now rusted.

“A lotta deaths happened in this operating theatre,” she imparts after a bout of stretching. “They thought this place was cursed for a while.”

The sterile, tiled walls are cracked and chipped, and the old surgical lights hang dim, their bulbs long burned out. The air still lingers with antiseptic that’s long since turned sour.

Bucky feels a little too acquainted with this setting.

He doesn’t even realise his silence is palpable until you nudge his side, drawing his attention sharply back to you.

“You doin’ okay?” you whisper.

“Fine,” he says, tearing his eyes away from the tools and towards you.

It only twists his stomach a little. It makes him think of how different his reactions used to be even a few years go.

“Old, dingy hospitals may not have been the best idea,” you admit to him, using the flashlight to shine a light in the corner.

It occurs to him a second later once he forces himself to compartmentalise.

“You okay?” he asks, voice low.

“Yeah,” you reply, slowly looking around. “Just looks like my nursery.”

A small crease forms between his eyebrows.

“Not gonna lie, mine was way prettier. Lot more mould on the walls,” you continue, tone light. “You know, timeless decor.”

His nose lets out a small exhale in the form of a laugh. “Leviathan not into blood stain wallpaper?”

“Couldn’t afford it. Fuckin’ place kept referring to itself as Hydra’s sister org but had none of the budget,” you say, swiping a finger across the dust. “You’d think that at least some of the people that left would give alumni donations, but no.”

Bucky snickers at jokes literally no one else would laugh at. It feels good for once, not to feel the need to censor himself to make others less uncomfortable.

You take a step forward, camera following behind you.

You shine the flashlight around the room, noting all the surgical trays piled together.

But something flashes on the ceiling.

You swing your flashlight toward it immediately, only for the table beside you a few inches away to start rolling, making a loud whining noise as it did, snapping your attention towards it.

By the time you finally bring the light back up towards the ceiling, it’s gone.

“What the–” you mumble.

“What?” Bucky asks, looking up from where he was scrolling through his phone.

“Could’a sworn I saw–” you frown at the empty space now, only an old defunct looking camera staring back at you.

“Red eyes?” Brenda inquires, looking at you. “Yeah, that happens.”

Bucky glances up at you, and then the wall. “Probably just the lens glare.”

You scrunch up your face at her. “How’d you know it was red eyes?”

“That’d be the spirit of ol’ Doctor Damon, chief of neuro,” she says. “You’ll find him here or his cabin, but that’s a few floors away. He never liked climbing the stairs.”

“Right,” Bucky acknowledges monotonously.

“When he worked here, he spent so long in surgery that his eyes were always bloodshot. One day he just dropped dead from exhaustion,” Brenda explains. “So his spirit walks around here, red eyes, wheeling surgery tables waiting for the next patient.”

“What’s he doing on the ceiling?” Bucky questions, going back to his phone. “He did his surgeries suspended midair?”

“Are you trying to gatekeep the ceiling?” you scoff. “Have you never seen Spiderman hanging upside down for fun?”

Bucky finally lifts his sight from the phone. “The doctor is not an insect superhero, he would have no reason to be hanging upside down–”

“How would you know if he’s a superhero or not? What if he was bitten by a bat?” you challenge. “Like a bat…guy. Batman.”

He jeers. “Then he’s got a stupid codename.”

“Oh, and Captain America is poetic genius.”

“At least Sam has a codename, where’s yours?”

You narrow your eyes at him. “Maybe you should have paid attention when your mother was screaming it las-”

“Shall we move on?” Brenda asks calmly.

“Yes,” the both of you reply simultaneously.

She doesn’t even bother looking at you, almost as if she’d seen it all in her lifetime.

“Besides, sometimes you can see him sitting on one of the operating tables. He doesn’t just hang out on the ceiling like… bat…man,” she explains, leading the way back out.

“See?”

“See what?” you ask.

“Nothing,” he replies. “There’s nothing to see. That’s the fuckin’ point.”

You shove him lightly.

Bucky bites back a grin.

_____

The morgue is silent.

The ceiling is low and chipped, streaked with stains of old water damage, the paint fallen away in patches.

Against one wall, old, disused morgue drawers stand open and half-broken, the once-sleek stainless steel now speckled with rust. Some of the drawers are bent out of shape, while others are stuck, sealed tight from years of neglect. Inside some of the open drawers, tattered, yellowed tags hang loosely from the handles, swaying gently as the chill air moves through the room.

“This room’s self explanatory,” she says. “Sometimes, you can hear spirits still trying to claw their way out of the drawers but they never open.”

“Skill issue,” Bucky mumbles under his breath.

“Shut up, oh my God,” you whisper-yell, still mouth pulling into a thin line to stop from laughing.

“What?” Brenda asks, suddenly from near the drawers.

You had no idea when she even went there.

“Nothing,” you reply, before thoughtfully asking, “Bucky, truth or dare?”

“No.”

“Dare it is.” You shine a flashlight at one of the closed drawers. “I’ll give you twenty bucks if you get in one of them for a few seconds. Let’s see if the ghosts come at you.”

“You're deranged,” he replies, incredulous.

“It’s for science,” you insist. “How else will you know for sure?”

“I’m sure it’ll be comfortable,” Brenda quips. “Like a coffin.”

The both of you look at her together in silence.

She shrugs. “It’s what I’ve heard from them.”

You look at her for a second more, before turning to Bucky. “Anyway, if you want I’ll come lie in there with you.”

“How does that make it better?” he exclaims. “I am not lying in the morgue.”

“Even if I’m in there with you?”

“That’s even worse–”

There’s a loud knock from one of the drawers on Brenda’s side. She looks down at it, almost like she was expecting it. Soon, there are further loud thuds that come from inside the remaining drawers.

“Hey, Magda,” she calls, before more knocks come from inside. “You’ve got visitors. Say hello.”

You grab the spirit box from behind Bucky’s ear and hold it in the direction of the wall. Nothing registers.

“Animals,” he answers the question hanging in the air calmly.

“The spirits?” Brenda replies. “They’re not gonna like that.”

Sure enough, a few of the drawers start rattling on their own accord.

You look at Bucky with an eyebrow raised.

“What?” he carps. “I’m not gonna go lie down in there, if that’s what you want.”

“Come on, take one for the team,” you whine.

“You take one for the team.”

“I’m literally the one pulling all the weight around here. You do it.”

Bucky doesn’t agree with you on the last part, but the first one is undisputably right. He makes a mental note to start contributing a fuckton more if he plans on continuing on in the series.

The rattling around comes to a halt eventually.

“If none of you want to get in there, should we move to the next one?” Brenda points to the door.

“Yes, please,” you confirm, sending Bucky a glare.

She leads the way up the stairs while you both follow, bickering and shoving lightly.

Once upstairs, Bucky glances down the hall, only to see a large double door that is noticeably different from the rest you’ve seen so far. There’s a fading rainbow drawn on the front, little footsteps painted onto the floor leading towards it.

Bucky hesitates, steps faltering. “Is that the children’s ward?”

“Yes,” Brenda looks over her shoulder briefly.

For a second, he wonders. Whether it was worth a shot. He hadn’t heard from her since the incident at the house, and the tarot cards have been suggesting nothing but reasons to believe she may actually be there.

“Are we going to check that out?” he asks.

“No, there’s nothing there,” she shrugs it off. “No spirits. I’ve asked the others too.”

Bucky shifts uncomfortably. “Are you sure?”

You shoot him an odd look that he refuses to meet.

“Yep. Next stop’s the other way.”

Bucky spares the doors another long look, before traversing down the hallway with you.

“Why do you wanna go to the children’s ward?” you query, voice low.

“Just thought it was worth checking out,” he replies, voice steady.

“We can always make a run for it and go check.”

“No,” he says, giving you a curt shake of his head, “it’s alright.”

“We’re right down this way,” Brenda calls, turning a corner and disappearing out of sight.

“Coming!” you call back before spinning to Bucky. “Hey.”

“What?” he responds, moving at his own brisk pace.

You tug him back with you with force.

“What are you doing–’ he hisses.

You link your arm with Bucky’s, pulling him along with you as you walk, shutting him up. He eyes your elbow looped with his and the proximity with which you walked beside him and all of a sudden, the back of his neck feels quite warm, extending down to his chest.

“I think Brenda’s a ghost,” you tell him casually.

Bucky stops in his path, drawn very much back to reality.

“Keep walking,” you grit through a smile. “I’m pretty sure she’s dead. Why else is she totally chill with the ghosts here-”

“Because there aren’t any. It’s animals.”

“Why is she saying coffins are comfortable? Why is she talking to the ghosts and knowing exactly where they are and aren’t?”

“I can make shit up too, look,” Bucky comments enthusiastically. “Oh, down the hall is the isolation room. You’ll hear heavy breathing because that’s where the tuberculosis patients were–”

“That’s one of the isolation rooms,” Brenda’s voice echoes down the hall. “It’s next up.”

You yank your arm away from Bucky when he blinks, a bit surprised himself.

“Are you dead?” you whisper-yell.

“Only ‘cause the government declared it,” he sighs. “Do you know what a fuckin’ pain it is to get undead.”

“Come on.” Brenda beckons to the both of you with her flashlight.

With a slight shove, the door to the room swings open easily, but the smell of old paper and mildew floods your senses.

The bed is now a rusted, sagging frame, the thin mattress long since torn and discolored with age. The once-clean sheets have yellowed and frayed, with remnants of old stains. Thin, brittle blankets lie in a heap on the floor.

The walls are bare, save for a few faded medical charts and broken instruments that were left behind in haste. The small window that once offered a faint glimpse of the outside is now cracked and filthy. The weak, filtered light that struggles through the dust-covered glass barely illuminates the room.

“Patients who were highly contagious were quarantined here. Some of them died without family by their side, so you can still hear their cries. Some of them have problems breathing, so sometimes you’ll hear it through the vents,” Brenda explains.

“I bet,” Bucky drags out, sending you a “I fuckin’ told you so” look..

Down the hall, something makes a loud sound, almost like something had crashed into the floor.

All three of you turn towards it.

Brenda’s face flickers for a moment before turning back to its regular calm.

“I think someone’s angry,” she decides. “I’m gonna go check it out.”

“Do you want us to come with you?” you offer.

“I’ll be okay, I’ve known these people all my life. We’re friends,” she comforts. “Oh, sometimes if you look out the door, you’ll see shadows of people in the waiting room down the hall. They’re just old families lingering around, hoping for better results but they always leave upset.”

“Is there no way to get them out of here?” you ask.

She shrugs. “Unless you find a way to fix their disappointment, I doubt they'll leave. They’ll stick around until something improves or changes.”

Bucky’s eyebrows furrow at the implication. If that were truly the case, and not just something he concocted in the deep, self hating crevices of his mind, then he had to figure out which part of the fucked up mess that he was had pissed his sister off enough to come back to let him know she was disappointed.

You nod at her and she nods, spinning on her heel to exit the room, but not before she stops for a second, hand on the doorframe as she catches her breath, and one hand on her spine.

“Are you okay?” you sound genuinely concerned.

She flashes you a thumbs up, leaving without so much as another word.

“She’s gonna come back with some bullshit about the hospital canteen staff dropping their pans or some shit,” Bucky remarks.

“Yeah no, that was me. I just wanted her out of the room so we could discuss something,” you wave it off quickly.

Bucky stares at you.

“What? I dropped a cart. It’s not a big deal. Anyway, listen–”

“She’s not a ghost,” he states resolutely.

“But what if she is,” you insist, a wicked grin on your face. “Imagine saying we got a ghost tour. By a ghost.”

“I can imagine saying that, yes. I have a very wide and limitless imagination.”

“Ugh, what if we’re meant to help her find her way back?” You peer over his shoulder to see if she’s walking back.

In the distance another crash sounds through the empty hallways. Bucky stares at you.

“I’m just making sure, it’s not like I’m hurting anyone” you insist, dismissing it.

“You could've just closed the door,” he says, extending one hand behind him to slide it closed.

“Don’t do that,” you blurt out.

He stops, eyebrow raised.

“I don't like when doors are closed,” you shrug it off. “Anyway, back to the point. We should totally figure out how to help her exit this realm.”

He slides the door back open slowly, narrowing his eyes at you.

“EVen if she were a ghost, which she’s not– she seems happy here. Maybe,” Bucky comments, taking a seat on the worn out bed. “I can’t really tell.”

“She can’t be. Imagine being forced to roam the same hallways over and over again till the end of time.” you shudder. “Sounds miserable.”

Bucky shrugs, poking at the pillow, watching a cloud of dust fly up from it. “Routine sounds fine to me.”

“I’d hate it,” you counter immediately. “I hate routines. Fucking inescapable once you get stuck in one.”

Bucky watches you curiously as you shift up and down the small room. “How do you get anything done?”

“I can get things done without a routine.” The camera follows your command, checking outside the window or the door occasionally facing Bucky. “Why?”

“Just asking,” he replies, checking the time on his phone. It’d been a while since Brenda had gone to investigate.

“And having a routine totally makes you an easy target. Haven’t you watched any assassination movies?”

“No. I didn’t like bringing work home.”

You look at him in surprise before your face splits into a smile.

Something makes a noise from the wall adjacent to the door.

You both look at each other, and he gets off the bed to go see what the deal is. The door is adjacent to the wall, giving him a clear look into the hallway that was still empty.

A faint wail sounds through the vent above his head. You take quick steps towards where he was, and the camera follows suit, pointing at the grill on the wall.

You stand underneath it, spirit box raised as close as you could get it, but the damn thing picks up nothing.

Another noise comes through, almost like someone was wheezing, before the vent rattles, stopping altogether.

You stare at it, before taking a gigantic inhale and exhaling obnoxiously, forcing all the air out of your lungs with a wheeze.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Bucky stares at you like you're insane.

“Well, you can’t just back down,” you argue. “I’m gonna breathe louder than that thing.”

“Jesus Christ,” he mumbles.

You give another gigantic inhale and exhale, rattling all the bones in your body, and the faint noise from the vent stops too.

“We win,” you beam

“You’ve completely lost it.”

“Uh, no, I didn’t. I totally won.”

“That’s not what I–” Bucky starts but stops himself when you grin at him devilishly.

He sighs, asking instead, “Should we go looking for her?”

“I guess so,” you shrug. “We’re not exactly cut to be her saviours right now. I’m pretty sure she knows the layout of the hospital better than we do if she’s been haunting it for fifteen years.”

“Where did you get that number?” he demands.

“Does it matter?” you urge. “Didn’t realise you’re a valid ghost only if you have a certain number of years in haunting.”

Bucky ignores you, taking off down the hall.

“If you had to haunt a hospital or a ship, what would you choose?” you quip, matching his pace.

“Hospital,” he answers without thinking much.

“Why?”

“I spent a lot of time in them,” he tells you, voice clear. “Steve’s mom was a nurse. We’d meet her there a lot when he got his ribs broken or his nose busted.”

The memory, though faint, is enough to pull a smile from him.

“He also used to be sick a lot, so I used to come pick up his medicine for him,” he adds. “They used to know us by name because we’d be there nearly every second day.”

You exhale a small laugh. “Every hospital in the state of New York has a chart for Steve even now.”

“Fuckin’ guy just dosn’t learn.” Bucky shakes his head with affection-laced irritation.

The hallways stretch out endlessly, dim and wide. A few doors line the walls, some ajar, revealing only darkness inside. The silence is unnerving, broken only by the soft sound of you and your footsteps.

Bucky looks over at you. “What about you?”

“What about me?” you hum, small smile still on your face.

“What would you haunt?

“Ship, I guess,” you reply. “I’ve always wanted to be a pirate.”

“Should be your next job.”

“You gonna come with? We’ll turn it into a vlog.

“Fuck no.”

“Well, thanks for taking the time to really consider it,” you sing, not really offended. “Way to let me down gently, Barnes.”

“What? It’s got nothin’ to do with you.” Bucky clarifies still, pausing before letting out, “I get seasick. Can’t be on water for more than five minutes before I’m throwing up all over the place. You want that in your vlog?”

It’s enough to elicit a laugh from you, that in turn makes the corner of his lip curl.

“We could always–

Right in front of him, something moves darts across the wall at the end of the hall.

It cuts you off mid-sentence too, the both of you glancing at each other before turning towards it again.

Against the glare of your flashlight, another shadow darts across the wall.

“That’s what she was talking about,” you whisper, slightly in disbelief that she wasn't wrong. “Shadow people. Do you think they got to her?”

Bucky rolls his eyes, continuing to walk on ahead.

“Um, hello?” you scramble to catch up with him. “Where is your self preservation?”

“Against what?” he asks stoically.

“That,” you say pointedly at the wall, when another figure darts across the wall and disappears out of sight.

Bucky rolls his eyes. “It’s a shadow, the fuck’s it gonna do?”

“Haven’t you heard of shadow demons? Succumbing to darkness?” you chastise.

Bucky stops walking, standing solidly in the middle of the hallway.

“Okay,” he says, refusing to budge.

The hall goes silent, no movement other than the steady rise and falls of your chest.

You stare at him. “Now what.”

“I'm waiting for them to do something,” he says. “I’m waiting to succumb to the darkness.”

“You’re so annoying,” you bite, dragging him along with you. “And I’m tired, we’ve been walking for like, eight hundred hours. Let’s go.”

“We’ve been here for two hours,” he reminds you, taking a turn into the corner that the shadows disappeared into. “You did this to yourself.”

“Fine, next time I’ll bring an electric scooter with me.” You huff. “And I won’t even let you use it.”

“Where’d Brenda fuckin’ go?” Bucky mumbles, eyes squinting into the darkness to see if there are any clues.

“Where are you guys going?” Someone pipes up from behind you, sending the hairs on his neck up.

The both of you spin around instantly, arms clenched in a fighting stance.

“Sorry, it's a habit to take the scenic route back.” She chuckles, unfazed. “Not a lot to do when you’ve been here so long.”

The both of you lower your hands slowly, letting out an exhale.

“Y’all ready to head out?” she inquires, coolly. “I think it’s time we all get some rest.”

The walk back is relatively quicker, ater she leads you down a path she calls a shortcut.

The only thing that slowls you down are the occasional stops you had to make for her back ache.

Right by the entrance of the hospital, she holds onto the door frame again in the midst of explaining who was haunting the basements.

After a particularly hard exhale and a clamour to stand back up, Bucky awkwardly clears his throat to ask, “Have you tried this stretch?”

“What?” Brenda asks, eyes curious.

“Learnt it in physio. Doesn’t cure it, but it helps,” he explains, craning his neck to the sides, before taking a step ahead towards her.

You watch him in thinly veiled delight as he shows her exactly what joint to bend and in which angle, and the degree to which she had to pivot.

He even uncomfortably guides her shoulders in the strangest yoga session you’d ever witnessed.

“Should help,” Bucky mumbles, taking a step away.

She raises her shoulders and drops it, lips pursuing and bows raising in a look that seems impressed. The small hunch she carried wit her seems to have disappeared too.

“Let’s go,” Bucky doesn’t wait for a thanks or anything, taking a step away from her and towards the exit.

“Now that you’ve fixed her back ache, how do we fix her haunting the place?” you ask lowly.

“She’s not a fuckin’ ghost, she’s fine,” he whispers back.

“Nothing about what she’s said tonight is normal,” you argue.

The night is clear and cool when you step out, the musty scent of the building dissipating almost immediately.

“Just say bye, we’re fuckin’ leaving,” Bucky shoots.

You sigh loudly, giving him a glare at his lack of helpfulness before plastering a smile on your face and turning around.

“Well, thanks for everything, Brenda,” you say, turning around to stick your hand out. “We sure couldn’t have–”

But she’s gone.

“Holy shit,” you say.

Bucky looks over his shoulder at the disturbance, before turning around fully. “Oh, fuck off.”

“I told you she was a ghost,” you gush. “You fixed her back ache and now she has crossed over to the other side.”

“Shut up,” he replies, looking all over the place for a sign of where she could have disappeared to.

“You did it, Bucky, you helped a lonely spirit,” you cheer.

“I did not.”

“Hey!” Someone shouts from afar, commanding your attention to the gate again.

“Not again,” Bucky mumbles, eyes snapping shut.

“More ghosts,” you point out excitedly. “Come on, Charon, ferry those spirits–”

“You ferry your own spirits, I’m going to sleep,” he interjects, fully intending on ignoring the person at the gate and simply getting in the car.

“What are you guys doing here?” A man pants, jogging up to the both of you before Bucky had the time to leave.

“We were just taking a look around,” you say, sticking your hand out, much to Bucky’s displeasure. “We heard the place was haunted.”

“Ah, I see,” he replies, taking in your appearance. “Podcasters?”

“No,” Bucky replies instantly.

“We were just leaving,” you cut in. “We already got a tour by this ghost, and Bucky totally sent her to the afterlife.”

“I did not,” he seethes.

“She disappeared after saying ominous shit this entire evening, what do you call that?” you challenge.

“Going home,” Bucky responds, frustrated that he was clearly not afforded the same privilege.

“Uh–” the guy holds up his finger. “--not to intrude, but you got a tour by a ghost?”

“Yes,” you bubble over with excitement.

“And this ghost… did they have a backache?”

Bucky’s interest piques, the irritation giving way to intrigue .

“You know her?” you puzzle.

“Uh yeah, that’s Brenda,” he admits sheepishly. “She’s very much alive.”

Bucky would have sworn he had never been this elated in his life, but unfortunately he realises very quickly that he simply does not care.

“She said she was a security guard here– wait, who are you?” you tilt your head at him, seemingly not upset at all. It reduces Bucky’s non-existent triumph even more.

“Travis Dowell, Labyrinth Inc. representative,” he says, shaking your hand. “We’re–”

“--the company that bought the place,” you complete, eyebrow raised.

“Yeah.” He nods. “Brenda was a security guard here for nearly thirty years. We had to let go of her when we bought the hospital. We’ve been trying to turn it into an apartment for years, but there’s a lot of red tape that we have to get past because of healthcare reasons.”

“Yeah, she told us that it got bought,” you follow along.

“Hospital was in the worst financial situation possible. There was just no way out.” He shrugs. “But she was super attached to this place. She didn’t take the redevelopment plans well, so she’s taken it upon herself to make sure it never happens, I guess? I don’t know, she spends a lot of time here convincing people that it’s haunted so that people don’t build anything here. She’s got an apartment close by so she knows when someone’s around. You’ll probably find her there, if you want.”

“You guys know about her?” Bucky questions, crease between his eyebrows.

“Uh, yeah, we do,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck. “We sorta ignore her. Her schtick’s annoying, but it’s not the reason we haven’t demolished this place yet. Once all the zoning issues get cleared up, the building’s coming down. And besides, all the PR’s just gonna have people pay a shit ton to stay here. You know, novelty of it being haunted, and all that.”

“How’d you know we were here?” you ask pointedly.

“We’ve set up motion sensors in the place?” he replies. “You may have seen them. The red lights in the operation rooms. We know she takes people there.”

“Oh, that’s what that was,” you turn to Bucky who simply shakes his head lightly.

“Yeah, she really goes the extra mile.” Travis shifts from one leg to the other. “There’s raccoons in the morgue that start running around if she hits the door. What else… oh yeah, she’s made a hole in one of the isolation rooms to make noises through the wall.”

Bucky wonders what will happen of all the footage now that none of it was essentially real. It made sense why she kept trying to find out where the video was going to be posted and how many people were going to view it now, as if a large number of views were going to save her beloved building.

“So you’ll just let her do whatever until the demolition happens?” you question.

“If it gets her to stop vandalising our office downtown.” He shrugs. “It doesn’t make a difference to us either way.”

“Right. So the real horror…” you say. “...is capitalism.”

Travis stares at you, before raising and dropping his shoulders. “Sure.”

“Alright.” You blow out an exhale. “Well, was anything about tonight real?”

“I mean, she really does have back pain,” he adds helpfully.

You turn to Bucky. “Net positive, then.”

Sure. Why the fuck not.

“Okay, Travis, thanks for this. You’ve been an immense help,” you say aloud, hoisting the camera onto your shoulders. “You can watch us on The Graveyard Shift, if we can figure out what to do with all these videos now.”

“Sorry about that,” he replies, shoving his fists into his pocket. “Good night.”

You watch as he turns and jogs away to his car that was parked a bit closer to the gate than yours was.

Bucky plucks the camera off your shoulder and places it under his arm, even though he’s well aware you can carry fifteen of them at once.

“That was fun,” you tell him, seemingly over it already.

“I’m fuckin’ starving,” he replies.

Bucky should be glad then, that he didn’t bother with the children’s ward, if nothing about tonight was real–

“Travis, wait,” you shout all of a sudden. “What about the shadows?”

“What shadows?” he calls back, confused.

“The shadow people moving across the hall from the isolation room?”

He raises his eyebrows. “We haven't heard reports of that.”

“Fuck’s sake,” Bucky mumbles.

“Hell yeah,” you reply, knocking into his shoulder. “Haunted hospital, baby.”

When you walk into the dining room, you don’t really expect anyone to be there that late at night.

But fiery red hair pulled into a ponytail and an oversized t-shirt perched at the kitchen counter catches you off guard, dulling the arguing between you and Bucky as you argue the logistics of Brenda having a hand in the shadow demons.

“Took you guys long enough,” Nat keeps her mug down on the counter before hopping off the chair. You note that it’s the same one you got her a few weeks ago from the flea market, the blue ceramic one.

“Oh, hi!” you smile wide, when she pulls you into a hug. “I thought you were in Lagos.”

“I was,” she replies, pulling away. “Got done early.”

“Of course you did. Overachiever.”

In the end of the common room, Bucky can hear the faint sounds of late night infomercials play through the TV. Clint’s legs hung off the couch as he lay snoring in front of it, blanket dropped on the floor in a heap.

“Hot chocolate?” she offers.

“I’m good, we went to the drive-through before coming back.” You beckon with your shoulder towards Bucky.

She finally turns to him. “Hey.”

Bucky gives her a curt nod, glad that she’s back safe.

“Why were you out so late?” She gives him a onceover, before raising an eyebrow. “Together.”

“Hospital date.”

“Video shoot,” he says at the same time, glaring at you. You shrug.

Nat’s lip trails up into a smirk. “Put on your big boy pants and finally admit your crush?”

Bucky drags a palm down his face. “I do not have a crush.”

“If you say so,” she concedes innocently, eyeing him over the rim of her hot chocolate.

“Are you all in on this? Do you have a quota to reach?” he groans. “Why’s everyone asking me this?”

“Who is ‘everyone’?” you sound delighted.

“If you don’t want people to call you out on our shit, maybe don’t walk around with heart eyes,” Nat comments.

Buck’s look is ice cold, but Nat just gives him a wink when you laugh.

“Hey, I needed to talk to you about something.” She turns to you. “You free for a second?”

“Always,” you reply in earnest.

Nat leads you a few steps away, hand on your shoulder.

Bucky takes his seat at the counter, stealing a sip from Nat’s mug. Of course, it was fantastic. Overachiever.

He tunes out intentionally, focusing on the fact that Clint was splayed out on the couch with the TV on a low volume. He knows for a fact the blonde was asleep, and probably would wake up with the worst neck pain in his life, but this was the life he chose.

After watching Clint nearly fall off the couch twice, he looks away, not intending on prying on your conversation but vaguely watching the interaction out of the corner of his eye.

He frowns at what he sees. Nat’s face has turned solemn while she talks to you in hushed tones. Your eyebrows were pulled together, arms crossed over your chest.

Bucky feels a shift in the air, but he’s not sure what exactly has gone down.

Nat finally tells you something surely, and you nod. She cups the side of your face and you force out a smile at her, before her hand drops.

The both of you make your way back to him. He turns his gaze back to the counter.

“You owe me a hot chocolate,” Nat tells him, before giving him a quick kiss on the temple and stealing her cup right back.

“I barely drank any,” he retorts, eyes still trained on you.

The TV clicks off and she drags a half asleep Clint back down the hall to his bedroom while the man rubbed at his shoulders, trailing behind her obediently.

Meanwhile, you grab a glass of water from the tap, drinking it slowly as you head towards the elevator.

“G’night, Buck,” you tell him, passing by him.

“Hold on,” he says, voice less gruff than before as he watches you, face tight, “What’s going on?

You observe him for a few long seconds, but he gets the sense you aren’t exactly looking at him. Your eyes are slightly glazed over, and your mind is… elsewhere.

“What do you do when people refuse to let go of something you’ve already escaped?” you ask finally.

“What do you mean?” Bucky’s eyebrows knit together tighter.

“Do you feel like everyone’s eyes are on you?” you say, voice strange. “Like there’s nowhere to go?”

“Where is this coming from? What’d Nat tell you?”

It seems to snap you out of whatever funk you were in, at least partially. “It’s probably nothing.”

His frown only deepens. “Is someone threatening you?”

“No, nothing like that.” You shake your head. “Don’t worry about it. It’s gonna be fine.”

Bucky stares after you as you press the button to the elevator. He isn’t really sure what to make of the what you just shared. He isn’t even sure he should ask Nat about it later on considering that she didn’t want him listening in now.

He watches the light above the elevator light up before a ding sounds through.

“Just so you know–”

Bucky’s eyes snap back to you, one step in the elevator.

“I had a codename, too,” you tell him. “I just never liked it.”

Bucky is only left staring as you disappear into the elevator, leaving him in silence.

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing!

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Next part

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #mcu fic #bucky fic #bucky barnes fic #bucky fluff #bucky barnes fluff #bucky angst #bucky barnes angst #unsolved fic #winter soldier x reader

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doumadono · 5 months ago

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sorry if this sounds rude 😢 but you haven’t been posting a lot of stories lately and that’s like the only thing you have to do? just post something it’s not that big of a deal? dygwim? i think fanfic writers especially on the anime side like to exaggerate things too much and if you don’t post then just deactivate? there’s no point in staying if you’re not gonna do anything but reblog silly content all the time? i don't understand how so many ppl can follow you when you are not even trying to be grateful and you only write not what people request but what you find interesting (which is not, like vampier Shigaraki???? viking Dabi???? so silly stupid ideas imo 😒)? whoever finds your writing or you as a person nice is either blind or stupid. and even if you write something chaptered it takes you literally months to update which isn't fair to people?? but I guess you don't care at all. you must be a freaking entitled white woman to treat otherz the way you do.

(again sorry, didn't mean to sound rude) 😔

When I first read your message, I was completely speechless for a minute or two, anon.

Firstly, it seems there’s a misconception about what fanfiction writers, or any creative individuals for that matter, have to do. Let me clarify something important: creativity isn’t a tap that one can simply turn on and off at will. It’s a complex, often unpredictable process that cannot be rushed without compromising the integrity and quality of the work. Quality stories often require research, plotting, editing, and revising before they’re ready to share. My creative process isn’t a fast food joint, nonnie, and I'm not here to serve up reheated ideas just to fill the silence.

My blog belongs to no one but me. I post what I want, when I want. As for the content of my stories, I believe every writer has the right to explore subjects that excite them the most - even if that means delving into topics or settings others may find odd, like vampires or vikings. My goal is to write stories I’m passionate about and then offer them freely to anyone who might find them entertaining. Some people will, others won’t, and that’s absolutely okay.

Contrary to your belief, I don't exist solely to churn out stories at the speed you dictate. I write on my own time and for my own pleasure. The notion that I should be a content machine is, frankly, laughable. Writing takes time, creative energy, and often real-life circumstances can slow the process. I post when I’m ready, and if that doesn’t align with your desired schedule, you’re free to unfollow or seek out other writers who update more frequently. Suggesting I deactivate because I’m not constantly posting or because I reblog content I enjoy is dismissive at best. I'm not a streaming service like Netflix, darling🙄

Calling me an entitled white woman or implying I’m ungrateful crosses a line. You know nothing of my background or personal circumstances, and bringing race or entitlement into the conversation is neither accurate nor constructive. My ethnicity or personal identity, whatever it may be, does not diminish the value of my creative output, nor does it affect my commitment to my followers. I appreciate every person who visits my page - whether they come to enjoy what I reblog, to read stories I post or to offer critique.

It's also laughable that you think my followers are stupid. Just because their tastes don't align with yours doesn't make them any less intelligent. Diversity in fandoms exists because creativity resonates differently with everyone, something you seem incapable of recognizing.

In the end, I won’t apologize for taking the time I need to create or for following my own interests - that’s part of being a writer. I do, however, expect basic respect in return. If you can’t extend that courtesy, I hope you'll block me, step away from my blog, and never interact with any of my content again.

With all this in mind, it's precisely why I've stopped taking regular requests. Last year, I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of requests and the rudeness in many messages, pushing me to my limits. That's why I've decided to concentrate on my own projects and only accept commissioned work.

I'm taking a few days off to gather my thoughts and concentrate on my writing projects.

#I'm truly getting tired of this bs #rude anon #fanfiction writers #writers on tumblr #writers problems #disgusting people #this is the very first time i was called an entitled white woman though #wtf is wrong with people nowadays?#this is the reason I decided to not accept requests anymore last year #long rant #author's rant #anonymous #asked and answered

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thewertsearch · 2 months ago

Text

Ask Comp 12/05

@carcinogeneticist-writes-fanfic asked: I know your policy has been to hold off listening to the official albums until you're done with HS and I totally get that, wanting to hear them in the context of the comic first is totally valid. That said, would you be willing to give early consideration to Michael Bowman's solo album, "Mobius Trip and Hadron Kaleido?" It's got the rather dubious honor of being one of only two or three official albums (out of like 30!) to NOT see any rep in the comic at all and I'd hate for you to miss out.

Found it on the Collection! It's generally a very chill album, with a lot of lower-energy tracks that might have been hard to fit in one of Homestuck's high-octane Flash animations.

It's not really my type of music, but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate something different every once in a while! I think my personal favorite is Dawn of Man.

@likelyvampirical asked: While on the subject of Bowman, On The Thirteenth Day has been sent to you.

This one's fucking great. It feels like the kind of track you'd hear over the opening/ending to a Homestuck anime.

It also sounds vaguely like Sburban Jungle, but I don't know if I'd call it a remix; it feels more like it's gesturing meaningfully in Sburban Jungle's direction, which I like a lot.

@shelbybunny asked: re: voice headcanons in the (as of writing) latest ask comp; i think a good voice headcanon for John is Toby Fox’s voice in his ska cover of sunsetter or Michael Guy Bowman’s cover of How Do I Live

It's still so weird hearing Toby Fox's actual voice. He feels like the kind of guy who shouldn't have a concrete presence in our reality.

Anyway, these voices are both fairly close to how I imagine John sounding. Toby even looks somewhat like John - or, at least, his hair does.

@heattth asked: Hi, I believe you mentioned once that if Tumblr died you would continue this blog on Discord. I don't know how likely this is to happen, but, could I ask you which server that would be?

I currently run an on-and-off gaming Discord which is open to all the blog's followers. If Tumblr goes down for good, I might just convert it into the new primary liveblogging platform - although Discord has its own issues, so I'm not 100% committed to that. Guess we'll see what happens!

Edit: I ended up retiring the Discord for now, simply because it grew too large for one person to manage. I still plan to continue the liveblog if Tumblr bites the dust, but I'm completely undecided on where!

@manorinthewoods asked: I've heard the Hockerberts (Hockengberts?) called the House of J. Unsure how common that is. ~LOSS (28/4/25) @cationicflood asked: the prospit kids may also collectively be referred to as the J-squad, as all four of them have names beginning with J (this is a trait that i do not think any other character outside this group possesses)

Yeah, there's no real way to legibly combine all four names. I came up with 'Prospit Patrol' the other day, and I honestly kind of love it - but I guess that'd technically include the Prospit trolls, too.

Anonymous asked: i think the key difference between jade and jake’s social lives despite being completely isolated is that jade at least had bec and prospit. with jakes dreamself dead (which presumably never woke up) and no guardian to speak of, hes pretty much completely alone out there

Actually a very good point. We eventually learned that Jade was in contact with the White Queen, so she was doing some in-person socialization. Clearly, that mattered a lot more than I realized.

@morganwick asked: Recall that future Jade shared your frustration over causal time loops, wanting ideas to actually come from where they came from. She did manage to get Karkat to be just vague enough to get her to do what she wanted herself to do while still giving herself enough room to come up with as much of the idea as possible herself. Karkat technically didn't even tell her to captchalogue the window, only draw it, the assumption/understanding being that she'd use the scribblepad to do so.

I definitely like that interpretation a lot better than the idea that the information was spontaneously stable-looped into existence, so I'm adopting it as my personal canon. The less loop-generated intel we have, the better.

@that-good-ol-fashioned-mothgirl asked: funny how Jane “biggest fan of a baking empire” Crocker subscribes to empiricism

Clearly, an 'empire' is any organization that values tangible evidence over logical reasoning. Jane's brainwashing is clearly benign - the Condesce is just trying to make her a better skeptic!

@that-good-ol-fashioned-mothgirl asked: the green sun is the theoretically infinite felt on English’s temporal pool table

In other words, the entire multiverse is part of Lord English's game. Seems fitting to me.

@elkian asked: Something I put together recently thanks to your blogging: the more conventially intelligent/sapient a Sprite component, the better a Sprite can communicate with the Player. BUT, these are also more independent and can operate on their own impetus, proving in some cases (like Jadesprite) to be unwilling/unable to help the Player for whatever reason. It's a neat balancing mechanic.

That's actually a really good explanation for why Jadesprite was so independent.

She's not the only one who's exhibited this trait, either - Davesprite also seemed comfortable with resisting sprite programming!

@mhafanlol2000 asked: Dave spent his childhood with Cal, too, and he doesn’t seem hypnotized. What makes you so convinced that Dirk will turn out to be worshipping English, or something?

Ah, but Dave didn't actually own the doll.

Bro was the one carrying it around all day, and he can't be flash-stepping around Dave that often. For the majority of the time, he was the one receiving the lion's share of Cal's miasma, as he has been since the moment he was cloned.

Dirk is the same, of course, but he's only had Cal for sixteen years, while Bro was in his thirties, at least. Dirk seems a lot more normal than his counterpart, so we can at least assume he's less corrupted than Bro.

Anonymous asked: I'm not going to lie, the fact that the entire acts 1-5 of homestuck are ONE DAY is one of my favorite fucked up facts about this story. Like, honestly maybe more than 24 hours passed, but because we got untethered from Earth time immediately after entering and it's not like the Incipisphere has a day/night cycle, A VERY LONG MONDAY AFTERNOON INDEED

The second the camera cuts away from John and Jade, they're going to immediately pass out for a good twenty hours.

Hey, do we think Davesprite needs to sleep? Surely not, right? Alright, he can look after them, then.

@elkian asked: Just wanted to say that I'm loving the liveblog in general, and in particular I really like your take on how the Alpha timeline works. "Based on what this character would most likely do in this situation" not only frees it from some of the rigidity of predestination, which can definitely get stifling or flatten a story if taken too far; it's also a good explanation in terms of meta. It works as both a general explanation and story-themed one, and I like it a lot. Seems accurate, too!

You can thank Terry Pratchett for putting the idea in my head, back when I was first reading Night Watch. It's a really satisfying way to resolve the identity issues surrounding time travel, isn't it?

@drakethedeep asked: Keep that thought in mind regarding a timeline involving interfering with the green sun. On a similar train of thought, timelines seemed to become doomed when they can no longer contribute to the timeloop that created them to begin with. For example, in the first doomed timeline we see, because John dies, he cannot perform the ectobiology that results in the creation of him and his friends/family. so keeping that in mind, what conclusion/ theories about the alpha timeline do you have?

Initially, I thought that any timeline which could no longer satisfy its own loops would be instantly doomed - but that would have caused Davesprite's timeline to fade long before Future Dave actually left, since John's death immediately made the Veil cloning impossible.

However, the wording you use here comes close to fixing that issue. Davesprite's timeline could never fulfil the time loop created by John's Veil cloning - but it still contributed to the Alpha Timeline, via Davesprite. Maybe a timeline only fades once it can no longer contribute to the Alpha in any way whatsoever.

@wolygan asked: Kinda neat how as Sollux is dying his powers change from the red and blue to just his blood colour, as if he is casting from his health instead of just having an ability, now that his eyes are burnt out.

Oh, interesting. I didn't consider that!

Sollux has said he's retiring his duality schtick, and apparently that includes his red/blue motif. After all, he's not really 'the duality guy' anymore - he's just Sollux.

@liliflower137 asked: This is probably a little late as I'm still catching up but,,, gush, Vriska's conversation with John, where she expresses regret, where she thinks back on what she has done… It made her my favorite character for a while. Just. The potential of her learning to be different, of becoming something more than the world she was born into. Seeing a character so HORRIBLE, so AWFUL, turn around and… realize. It's so powerful.

Yup. Super fucked up that she died before she was able to complete her metamorphosis - but I'm confident that her story's not over. After all, we've already started hanging out with her ghost!

@liliflower137 asked: Hello!! I am not quite caught up yet but your description of Scratch as thinking like an author is BRILLIANT, I never would've thought of that and it makes him make so much more sense!!! Man he's way more interesting to me now, thank you!!! This liveblog continues to be the most fascinating read of all time!!

Thanks - it just made sense to me, y'know? Scratch even talks a little like Hussie sometimes, and the idea that he's a pseudo-author is the only thing I can think of that explains some otherwise extremely strange phrasing on his part.

@liliflower137 asked: Hello hello again! I've just seen the map you showed of Rose's coordinates and you can literally see the town i live in on that map!! So I can tell you Northern New York State, at least around that section, is VERY rural. The closest Starbucks is in Canada and its mostly dairy farms and cornfields around here! New York is a big state and aside from the city itself and some other places it's actually surprisingly empty. Hell, I've lived here for like 9 years and I've never even been close to NYC! But its definitely not remote, people live and work in that national park nearby! And there's plenty of burger kings for sure. (I'd even say maybe the one 40 minutes away was the one in my town but I'm pretty sure it opened after I moved here so probably not) It's so wild I could pretty easily drive to where Rose's house would've been… crazy.

Oh, fun - it's like you're her neighbor!

If you're that local, you might be living closer to Rose's address than any other Homestuck fan on the planet. You've got to be at least in the top ten, right?

@liliflower137 asked: Another addition to the jade seer of light fakeout that I've noticed during my own reread (inspired by yours!) Remember Jade's wardrobifier? One of her possible shirt symbols was the symbol for the Light Aspect!

Hussie's Trick continues to bamboozle the unprepared.

@liliflower137 asked: After sending you a bunch of asks while reading, I'm finally caught up!! Whew I can finally stop accidentally staying up until like 5am reading your incredible analysis and being distracted at work! I'm free!! Thanks for the ride!!

Hah, this really is a serious compliment. Don't worry, I've been staying up till pretty close to 5 lately as well. That's what happens when you're gaming on a server in a US timezone!

Anonymous asked: hello ms wertsearch! i have just finished binging your entire liveblog in lieu of any meaningful way to access homestuck OR the unofficial homestuck collection (kind of a lie - i'm sure it's on the wayback machine) and i have to say you might just be the ideal homestuck reader! you analyze these characters AND this story so quickly and perfectly it is very awesome to read. i cannot wait for you to stick it out through the rest of act 6! have a wonderful day!!!

Thank you so much! As far as I'm aware, there are still a couple of unofficial mirrors of the comic floating around online. I asked around on the Discord and was provided with this link, which seems perfectly functional to me.

Anonymous asked: I just want to send a message to let you know how much I appreciate and enjoy your blog. Ive had a very rough couple of years (who hasn't, right?) and reading this blog has been such an escape. It makes me feel like I'm 13 again and reading homestuck on the school computer with my friends. You have such insightful things to say about the comic. I never really jelled with the homestuck fandom outside of my irl friends I read the comic with, so your blog is kind of like a second shot at participating in the fandom for me. I'm having so much fun. Thanks for doing this. <3

As always, messages like these are the greatest motivator I have for continuing to liveblog. I know I'm starting to sound like a broken record, but thank you for sharing! :)

Anonymous asked: Your liveblog is So fun to read, especially when you predict plot points that are either extremely true or extremely false (like when you theorised at the very beginning that jade was genetically modified to be a sburb player! Or when [spoiler] and also [spoiler] and especially [spoiler]) Are you planning to read through your own liveblog when you've finished reading the comments to see how many things you jokingly predicted that came true? Or are you relying on asks to point out things like that?

I'm definitely reading through it when I'm done! I've even half-jokinly considered liveblogging the liveblog, but that might be a bridge too far even for me, lmao

@manorinthewoods asked: I've found another HS liveblog! 'researchhpurposes'. They've not made it through Act 5 yet, so hopefully they're spoiler-free - although, like you, they're going in only mostly blind, so there might be a stray thing here or there. Going to read through and see if there's anything extraordinary. ~LOSS (29/4/25)

(I'm noticing they *do* engage with reblogs, so without reading the whole thing, I'd say there's probably *some* spoilers. -V)

I can't wait to take a gander at some other liveblogs - but, yes, strangely enough, some of them can still spoil the comic, even if they're even farther back than I am!

@mrjocrafter asked: Once Upon a Time, a serialized live action soap opera / fantasy show with a batshit convoluted plot on par with Homestuck (i highly recommend it) has this concept called The Author, who's an individual blessed/cursed with the power to rewrite reality by literally writing in book(s), but if this power is suppressed, overpowered, or lost, the wielder is just some guy with a pen/quill. This is how I like to think of character!Hussie in Homestuck.

I've actually been watching a Once Upon a Time retrospective series on YouTube, and it's been an enjoyable watch so far. I even checked out the first couple of seasons myself - and, yes, batshit is exactly how I'd describe the average day in Storybrooke. Why the fuck wasn't it in Kingdom Hearts?

Anonymous asked: Yo so i was just rewatching Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency and i was thinking since you like homestuck you should watch that if you haven't seen it already. Similar vibes. It's super excellent, it stars Elijah Wood. It did get cancelled after season 2 which sucks but each season is its own story with its own resolution. The stuff they were setting up for season 3 looked so dope tho, it's so tragic i'll never get to see it. It's the only thing that gives me the same feeling as homestuck. I don't want to like, say what it's about cuz like homestuck i think it's best to just jump in blind. If you have already seen it i'd love to hear your thoughts.

I haven't seen it myself, but I know the book it's based off. Dirk Gently shares an author with one of my favourite series, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, so I feel like the show is probably up my alley too. Will definitely add it to the list!

Anonymous asked: Community is a sitcom about a study group at a community college. I recommend it, it's got a wit to it that I think you'd like.

I've seen a couple of clips of Community, but it didn't really click with me. That said, it's hard to judge the overall quality of a show from just a handful of clips, so I may give it another chance.

@manorinthewoods asked: There's a further benefit to the three-year time skip; it'll bring the characters roughly in line with the IRL time movement. April 2009 -> November 2011 is five months off the three-year timespan - which is sensible, since you need that time to actually write the story. Five months is. Probably a reasonable expectation, from the outset, for how long it might take to progress to the end of the timeskip - but, of course, this is a webcomic, and webcomics are very well known for taking absolutely ages to write. ~LOSS (29/4/25)

If that's true, and Hussie is timing things so that the kids emerge in November, then they're kind of playing with fire here.

I mean, committing yourself to maintain a consistent posting schedule for five months? Couldn't be me, is all I'm saying.

#full liveblog #asks #act 6

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onepieceisreeeeaaalll · 7 months ago

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Christmas Comfort - Law x Reader

Wrote this blurb on a whim, I'm feeling hyped up for Christmas! Featuring a scroogey Law. It's barely been proofread, I'll probably continue editing it as per usual.

CW: Small trauma mention. GN reader. SFW!

~1.6k words

----

The Heart Pirates weren't exactly known for being festive. The ship was typically viewed as cold, medical, sterile. Steel, rounded walls would almost become hypnotic to anyone pulling the late shifts, and it was a common occurrence for people to gasp for air whenever the ship would surface. Life was hard, methodical, strict, but the bond among the crew and the sense of duty they shared was the thread that held them together. There was real love there, even if the ship itself seemed like a death-clad tank piloting through the deepest layers of the ocean.

It never seemed to bother anyone on a day-to-day basis, but as the holidays rolled around, the energy between crewmates would always get increasingly restless. As December crept closer, Christmas merriment began to spread through the ship in hushed whispers and secret gift exchanges, nobody willing to incur the sneers of their captain urging them to get back to work. That is, until he gave the all-clear to Bepo that the crew could decorate the walls of the Polar Tang.

It was almost immediate - an overnight transformation into an underwater Winter Wonderland. Tinsel and bows hung along bolts and lined portholes, carefully strewn about by the joined efforts of Shachi and Penguin. At Port, somebody even had the great idea of dragging in a Christmas tree, which was decorated with homemade ornaments and old medical equipment that was no longer viable. Bepo directed crewmates to string lights along the inside of the galley, and it was already beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Eggnog became a nightly offering with dinner, and all seemed merry for the season.

It was now Christmas Eve. The stockings have been hung, the ship smells of pie and cinnamon, yet Law remains locked up in his own little world going over paperwork and research. As per usual.

“You're such a grump, you know that?” You sigh, leaning against the doorframe of Law's office.

“Is that all you came here to tell me?” He responds curtly, his eyes never leaving the medical texts he was always engrossed in.

“No. I also came to bring you some hot chocolate Ikkaku made. Since you don't want to take a break, though…” You say with a tone full of tempting mirth.

Law glances up only briefly to see the mug held casually between your hand and your hip. Damn. How did he miss that? The interest only lasts a moment, though, before his eyes look back at the textbook in front of him.

“Can't. Too busy.” He says simply, before adding a quick, “You can leave it, though.”

“Nu-uh. Christmas grumps don't get any hot cocoa.”

Without any other warning or indication, Law's hand lifts into the air, his fingers moving in that familiar way that makes your frustration flare up.

“Don't-”

“Room. Shambles.”

In the blink of an eye, the ceramic mug in your hand is swapped with some kind of paperweight from Law's desk, heavy and edged. The mug, still steaming and otherwise undisturbed, now sits beside Law, though he doesn't bother looking up to check. He doesn't have to.

“Really?”

He shrugs nonchalantly, picking up a pen to mark a specific section of the page he reads. With a groan, you toss the paperweight to the floor, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Law-”

“If that's all, I'll see you when I'm finished.” He responds, his tone bored and otherwise disengaged.

There's a pause between you two, the only sound being the far-off cheers of the Heart Pirate crew singing carols and the sound of the Polar Tang's engine.

“You can't be serious.” You say, your tone barely containing the edge of hurt and frustration. “It's Christmas Eve. There aren't any patients in the unit and everyone else is celebrating. There's no way you'd rather be alone.”

Law doesn't respond, though his eyes are no longer scanning any text. He's got that familiar glaze over his eyes that you've come to know all too well. It's as if he's trying to come up with some sort of explanation or response, a clear attempt to carefully curate his words. Law isn't one to sugarcoat how he feels. You prepare yourself for whatever lecture you might get from him, ignoring the tugging concern that's growing in your gut.

With a sigh, Law pushes himself back from his desk, leaning back in his chair. A hand runs through his hair methodically, fingers shoving tufts that have been left over from his trusty hat. Finally, gold eyes peek up to meet yours. There's something noticeably off about them this time - the bags under his eyes are darker and the glint in them appears dull.

“I don't…do well around Christmas.” He murmurs, eyes quickly averting down to the floor. “So don't take it personally.”

Watching him closely, you try to decipher exactly what could be plaguing him. There are plenty of reasons why he might not be doing well. You’ve spent countless nights retreading shared trauma, hearing about his family in Flevance and his time in the Donquixote family. It’s the most intimate Law can be, sharing the smallest glimpses into the nightmares that still seem to permeate in his head. Christmas, though…you’ve never been aboard the ship before during Christmas. This is entirely untreaded territory. You take a few careful steps into the room, closing the door behind you. Mustering your courage, you look at your boyfriend with empathetic eyes, taking a deep breath to ask the question.

“How come?”

Law looks at you with that same, tired gaze, though there’s the slightest hint of his face falling at your question. A reluctance to answer. He doesn’t look away from you, though, and for a moment you think he almost looks grateful that you’ve actually pried a bit further.

“It just brings back memories I'd rather not think about.” Law answers simply, his voice just a little quieter than before.

You’re not sure what he could mean - surely he’s celebrated holidays since losing his family. You look at Law for several moments, debating in your head the best way to approach this. Finally, there’s a compromise made in your mind.

“What if we made some new memories?”

Law’s eyes flash with surprise at your question. He was clearly expecting a series of invasive questions, prodding into what exactly has him down. Looking down, he lets out a long sigh and closes his eyes briefly.

“Y/N-ya--” He starts.

“I know it's not that simple.” You interject quickly. You have to try to get a word in before Law completely shoots down the idea. “I know I can't erase what you've been through or fix it, and I don't want to. It's all a part of who you are. I just…don't want you to be alone. You have a family. We all want you to have a good holiday.”

Another pause. He seems so thoughtful, so lost in trying to figure out what to say. It’s almost heartbreaking. Taking another step forward, you let out a small sigh of your own. It’s at least worth a try to make sure he doesn’t isolate himself.

“How about this - you come out into the galley for, say, ten minutes. Watch the gift exchange, drink some cocoa. Spend time with your crew who loves you. Then, if you're really still not feeling it, I'll come back here with you and we can just hang out. Read or something. No expectations.” You offer, your voice soft and gentle.

The tender gesture surprises Law again. He looks over at you again, straightening in his chair. His face is as enigmatic as usual, though the corners of his lips turn up slightly at your gesture. It’s subtle, but present.

“You don't have to do that for me. If you'd rather be with the crew-”

“Law, I'm not leaving you by yourself. I want to be with you on Christmas, even if it just feels like a regular day. Just…spend time with me. I'll make it worth your while.” You offer again, this time taking another small step forward. “You can say no.”

Law seems lost. For a brief moment, he looks back at his desk and the pile of paperwork. His eyes land on the text he was marking up. It’s quiet for long enough that you almost think you’re being dismissed until-

“Okay.”

You blink as he reaches for his hat, placing it atop his head. He makes his way around his desk, and you can’t stop the smile that rises to your lips.

“Okay, then. Let’s go.” You say softly, holding out your hand for him to take.

And so, the rest of the evening is spent in joyful festivities and good company. Law stays for much longer than ten minutes, enjoying the eggnog and the shenanigans of his crew. Gift exchange kicks off with Bepo entering the galley in a Santa suit, easily Law’s favorite moment of the night. When the last of the carols are sung and presents are given out, you walk out of the galley together, fingers interlocked. You feel a gentle tug on your hand as you’re about to cross the threshold and when you look back, Law gestures vaguely with his eyes up to the mistletoe hung in the doorway. Giving a mirthful smile, you lean forward and press your lips tenderly against his. It’s soft, a caress full of love as your lips move in sync. As they part, Law opens his eyes, gratitude and affection evident in them. He pecks your lips one more time before mumbling a gentle,

“Merry Christmas.”

#one piece #one piece x reader #law #trafalgar law #trafalgar d water law #trafalgar law x reader #law x reader #one piece fluff #one piece fanfiction

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ma1dita · 1 year ago

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trouble's coming for you

a 'partners in crime' installment - luke castellan x dionysus!reader prev -> don't blame the kids | next -> now that we're older words: 3.7k summary: (established relationship) suggestive banter lol The one where Percy meets his two favorite counselors at Camp Half-Blood. Also known as the three times Percy is completely oblivious about you two, plus the time he learns what L-O-V-E looks like for two teen demigods. (Luke Castellan x fem!Dionysus!reader) a/n: PERCY POV!!! maybe the real enemy was the blue balls Luke got from a clueless 12-year-old. you’re gonna tell me you wouldn’t overthrow the gods too? (posted 2/29/24, edited!!! i think!!! four hours of sleep later and a big kiss to @hotchfiles miss lari as always for inspo mwah)

—

What’s in a name?

One of the last defining memories Percy Jackson had with his mother before arriving at Camp Half-Blood was her reminder that names have power. He’s held fast to that belief, treading carefully with his words in this unfamiliar place that he’s supposed to call home so soon after losing his own.

Being the new kid for the hundredth time in his life means that he’s accustomed to change, much less introducing himself as Percy Jackson, whatever that means at this point—but then becoming known simply as the kid who causes trouble. What then, is he supposed to do, when his first friend at camp introduces him to a girl who embodies the name trouble?

To Luke, through Percy’s actions, it seems as if he’s trying to reclaim a crown that currently belongs to the beloved head counselor of Camp Half-Blood.

—

The dining pavilion is filled with mouth-watering scents and the sound of chattering campers to the point that it’s a bit overstimulating if he thinks too hard about it. Mr. Brunn—er, Chiron told him to take it easy after the events from yesterday, but he feels a bit tough on luck after making Luke run circles around camp trying to find what he’s good at.

“Is there a Greek god of disappointment? Maybe someone should ask if he’s missing a kid,” Percy says glumly, pushing the mac and cheese around on his plate. Luke sighs, letting the boy to his right speak.

“Oizys,” Chris mumbles through full cheeks before he cocks his head at the 12-year-old, “but she’s a goddess, and her whole thing isn’t really disappointment, it’s more like failure.”

Luke looks to Chris with a half smile before looking back at the kid and saying, “We’re gonna find the thing you’re good at. I know it.” He looks like he’s going to say something else before something, or someone catches his attention and it’s almost like the older boy is transfixed, eyes shining with mischief or something deeper that Percy’s young brain couldn’t comprehend just yet.

“And here comes trouble…” Luke says with a smirk, eyes following your figure until your feet take you to their table. The sandy-haired boy twists around, expecting to see a goddess of some sort until he sees you, violet eyes and a lilt of something sinister—giving off the energy of someone who holds power but also likes to fuck with it. You cross your arms over your chest, gaze floating over the three boys and at the tip of your chin, Luke takes his plate off the table, prompting you to hop up and slide onto the smooth surface in front of him.

“You look like someone kicked your puppy, so you must be the new kid. Peter, right?”

A snort of laughter comes from behind your slouched form, Luke partially concealed but body obviously shaking with amusement as he looks at you.

“He might just turn out to be a puppy kicker one day,” the son of Hermes jokes, “Meet Percy Jackson.”

“That’s not…”

You sigh at Luke’s idea of a joke, face incredulous as you lean over and conjure strawberries onto Percy’s plate. He’d never seen anything like that before, someone so casual about their abilities, but he didn’t have much of a reference past yesterday. This camp keeps surprising him in ways he’s never imagined possible.

“Heard D gave you a hard time earlier, sorry about him—I’d blame it on withdrawals but he’s just an asshole,” you offer with a smile and a handshake as you introduce yourself, watching the boy’s eyes widen with wonder.

“It’s not your fault…I’m used to being the new kid.”

Eyebrows furrowing at his tone, you lean in closer, voice turning serious. You’re a lot like Mr. D in the sense that it’s easy for you to poke at the kids who come through here for a reaction to make sure they’re okay mentally. When they don’t react is usually the call for help.

“Well, new kid, if anyone gives you a problem here at camp, you let me know. Even if it’s these two hooligans, or if it’s my dad.”

“You’re talking to our lovely head counselor, Percy. She calls the shots around here,” Chris chimes in jest. But only one part of your sentence sticks in his mind as he whips his head up from munching on a berry.

“He’s your dad?”

“Yeah, unfortunately,” you giggle, “and though you’re sweet and I would love to have you as a sibling, he kind of has a rule on having too many kids at once, unlike other gods.”

“A rule he’s already broken,” Luke drones, hand fidgeting with the black bandana tied around your thigh, “but who knows? If Percy ends up to be one of you, well…may the gods have mercy on us all.”

A deadpan stare is directed at the scarred boy, and you swipe at his curls like a feral cat, making him wince and laugh all the same as he bats you away.

“Tough shit, 11. Do you know how many hellions inhibit your cabin? Your dad inflicts agony on me personally every time another one of your siblings walks past the boundaries.”

The petty squabble is interrupted by the chime of the bell over your heads, but you two are still in a world of your own. It reminds Percy of the time he watched two subway rats fight over a pizza slice on the 6 train—he didn’t really know who to root for then either. Chris sighs and gets up, nudging Luke to follow, which he does begrudgingly as he claps his large hand on your leg. You hiss.

“Our turn!” Luke says with a hint of sarcasm.

“Our turn for what?”

“Burnt offerings,” you explain as you chomp on a strawberry, “the gods like the smell, so it gets their attention before you say a prayer.” You notice Percy stay in his seat, which makes a smile pull at your lips, “Think you’re off the hook for today though, bud. Or you can be just like me.”

“Don’t give him any ideas, Trouble. I’ll throw in a few for Hestia.” Luke chews at his lip as he leans over you to grab a few berries off of Percy’s plate to toss into the fire for you.

“You don’t pray?”

“I’m not really the religious type. I’ve got what I need,” you concede, leaning back on your palms as you watch the son of Hermes stand for a few extra seconds at the hearth. “Besides, my godrent is right over there, and Luke worries enough for me. It’s more his thing,” you say with a lazy smile. The campers filing out of the dining hall wave at you and you enthusiastically greet everyone with dancing fingers. He doesn’t think he’s ever met anyone that…happy to be on the job, but things work differently around here, so he doesn’t think much of your upbeat attitude.

“Eat up. Some of that strength has to go to you. Gonna need it.” You say ruffling Percy’s hair, and when Luke comes back, he tugs at the shoelaces of your boots until you kick his hands away. You both share a smile like people do a secret, even here in the open air.

“Do they like the smell of burnt mac and cheese?” Percy says curiously, eating another spoonful of the meal. His head hurts at another thing to consider in this brand-new world he’s walked into.

“They like the smell of begging,” Luke grins, and you laugh like a firework going off, making Percy’s lips pull up into a smile.

“I’m not much of a beggar though, if you ask me.”

The son of Hermes hums at you like he wants to say otherwise, and you slap his chest as you suck air through your teeth. Beneath the wood top of the table and with Percy being none the wiser, your fingers intertwine with Luke’s like it’s second nature.

“You burn what you’ll miss the most. Then they know you really mean what you’re about to say, so they listen.”

Luke takes a breath after explaining how things work for the nth time to the kid, knowing Percy’s quite persistent about making his dad notice him. He remembers being jaded too—striving to be the best for a lick of his dad’s attention and all of his efforts were done in vain. Even though the kid’s arrival at camp was a bit unexpected, Luke doesn’t mind showing him around.

Hopefully, less work on your end means that he can spend more time with you once this is over with— but by the looks of how the day is going so far, he’s not so sure. He hopes his offerings reach the gods and they grant him extra patience for his good deeds. Watching you laugh at something Percy says as you all walk out of the dining pavilion, Luke wonders if you know that every offering he burns for the goddess of the hearth and home is so that she’ll protect you.

—

“Lights out in 10 minutes, cabin 11! Everyone ready for bed?”

The sound of your voice jolts Percy awake from his post-dinner nap and he blinks slowly until he sees you walking towards him with extra blankets and pillows in your grasp. The other campers were kind of stand-offish, and after praying to his mom he was overwhelmed with the feeling of missing her, so much so that it drained the rest of his energy.

“Long day, huh bud?”

Drowsy with sleep, for a moment, Percy forgets where he is—the unfamiliar walls of the cabin making him shift with unease as he rubs at his eyes. The blurry version of you makes his chest go warm and for a second, it’s like—

“Mom?”

He blinks again, his pale face turning red when he realizes his slip-up. Percy’s shoulders drop when he hears giggles from somewhere in the big cabin and you reach out to smooth his hair away from his face with a gentle smile.

“Don’t worry about it. Everyone who first comes to 11 gets nightmares. For some of them, they don’t leave,” you mutter. Percy notices your eyes flicker over to Luke’s bed, where he’s zipping up his hoodie and chatting with one of his half-siblings. Cabin 11 is finally quieting down for the night—children scrambling into their bunks, doing nighttime routines, and having quiet conversations. It’s all so weird, this being everyone’s normal.

“You’re not alone though. Saw you earlier, outside. I still pray to my mom sometimes. She's quite the listener,” you say with a sad twinkle in your eye. The kid sniffs as you hand him the pillows and blankets, finally meeting your gaze.

“Did your mom…” Die too? The words feel like lead in his throat, feeling heavy as he swallows it down. He doesn’t want to cry in front of the pretty counselor, much less speak the truth, because if he says it out loud, it means his mom dying must have been real. Also, you’ve seen him sit in the dark of the forest burning blue jelly beans like a freak. What he didn’t know is that you pride yourself on being one. It takes one to know one, after all.

“Yeah. Makes for one hell of an origin story, but I found my place here, and people who care. I know you will too, when you’re rea—” Your words trail off when you see Luke walk past the both of you with a cool expression before he nods towards the door, and you squeeze Percy’s shoulder before getting up.

“Night guys! It’s getting late so we’ll have to do a story next time, okay?” You walk down the aisle patting heads and tucking in smaller campers, and he hears you whack the younger Stoll brother when he teasingly says, “It’s not fair that Luke gets a bedtime story and we don’t…”

“Connor, enough. I’ve lost count of how many times you’ve woken up and called me mom, so save it for tomorrow, chuckles.” He must have been the one laughing earlier.

“Everyone say goodnight Trouble!” Luke calls out with a coy expression, making you roll your eyes as you flick the light off to a symphony of jeers. It’s finally quiet as Percy is propped up against some pillows that smell like raspberries and soft cotton before he realizes he has to pee.

But Chris said harpies hunt kids after curfew… he thinks.

In a moment of sheer panic, Percy looks around in the darkness of the cabin before the sound of your cackling pierces through the dim light from the outside. He hops up from the makeshift cot and tugs his shoes back on, slowly creeping past the long row of bunks to not disturb other campers before he gets to the door. Your head turns quickly to the intrusion as you spring away from Luke, stubbing a cigarette underneath the wood panel out of sight when Percy steps through the doorway.

“Sorry, I need to use the bathroom,” he says sheepishly as Luke nods, scratching his neck and leaning a far distance away from you. Under the low burning lamps, Percy notices Luke’s cheeks redden and he wonders if he is interrupting something, but the urge to go increases as he steps between you two.

“Right. I’ll walk you to yours?” Luke blurts in one breath. With a wordless smile on your lips, you nod before Percy purposely interrupts this time.

“I can walk her, it’s on the way to the bathrooms, right?”

If only this poor kid knew he was being the cockblock of the century.

“Yeah, Percy’s got me. The harpies won’t like you missing curfew, Castellan,” you tease, stepping around him with a shit-eating grin. Your hair almost floats in the gentle breeze, and Luke rolls his eyes.

“Stay out of trouble. I mean it," he sighs, before shoving you off the porch, and you laugh at the irony of his words. Looking back at Luke, Percy noticed his eyes were on you like he wanted to live in your skin, which was equal parts disgusting and confusing to the 12-year-old. His steps double in pace as you both walk down the path and a brief side glance at your stifled smile quickly makes the kid wonder if you’d let him.

Pushing the sleeves of Luke’s hoodie past your elbows, you wave at Percy’s rushing figure as he almost bolts to the bathroom and you lean against the doorway of your empty cabin. You turn the light on and look across the way to see your boyfriend still leaning against his door, so you flip him off. Of course, he takes that as his cue to saunter over.

But then the loud clanging sound of pipes bursting reaches both of your ears and toilet water floods the dirt near the back end of your cabin.

So close.

“I’m gonna go check on Annie to see if she’s still on duty. Tough luck, babe,” you giggle, pressing a kiss to his cheek before walking in the direction that Percy went, sending the son of Hermes to drag his feet towards your cabin, alone (he didn’t expect to fall asleep propped over your covers waiting up for you, but a lot happened in that damn bathroom).

—

“Hey, today feel like a winning kind of day to you?” Annabeth smirks at the son of Hermes. Next to them, Percy feels a hand clap him on the shoulder and all three of them turn to see you donning red.

“Didn’t you three hear the conch? Wouldn’t want you to fall behind,” you say with a grin as Luke steps up to you and whistles lowly.

“Didn’t know you were playing today. It’s a shame you look that good in red.”

Annabeth fake gags as she crosses her arms to say, “You’re also currently on enemy territory if you haven’t noticed.”

“Oh, you wound me. I’m not a threat. Percy, I obviously don’t have the flag, right?”

He nods a bit dumbly, still worried about the mechanics of the game and the part he has to play for the blue team, but no one else seems to share his concerns.

“Anyways, sorry I’m not on your team, Perce. The Ares kids snatched me up as soon as my name was on the roster, so I came to wish you all luck.”

“This better not be a diversion tactic, Trouble,” Luke simpers, playfully tugging at your staff, which you use for leverage to step up onto a rock to meet him at eye level.

“Nah. You know I like the competition, angelface,” you whisper, almost daring him to do something.

“Bite me, Trouble.”

There’s a fire in his eyes you’d love to stoke, but now’s not the time or place. You can’t help but indulge though—the both of you enjoy the reactions you can pull from each other.

“You’d like it too much.”

“Alright now,” Annabeth groans, calling your name, rolling her eyes as she pulls at Luke’s arm, “Gotta remember he’s your enemy!”

“I’M TRYING!” You laugh, shaking your head and walking back towards your team as you shoot them a fake salute. It all happens too quickly as Percy’s unable to catch the spitfire words between the two of you, thinking further about how he might get maimed during this game (which in the grand scheme of things, he almost does. Thanks Clarisse).

“Those two are hopeless! Walk faster, sunshine—we lost too much time watching whatever that was.” Percy stumbles along the forest path as he follows Annabeth, the both of them leaving Luke smirking to himself as he follows the rest of their team.

Hours later, at Clarisse’s muddy feet and holding her broken spear, Percy hears cheering in the distance as he watches the blue team led by Luke waving the red flag in one hand and your legs supported by his other. You’re in a fireman’s hold across his shoulders and everyone watches as the son of Hermes spins you around like a Tilt-a-Whirl until the sound of your shrieks is audible from the shoreline.

He sets you down gently, dominant hand still around your waist as he snickers, “Got my win and my girl. Must be time to celebrate.” You laugh at his absurdity, pulling his helmet off and wiping the sweat off his forehead with your bandana.

“You’re always going to be a loser in my eyes.”

Slapping the plush of your hip, the sound echoes in the air—suddenly quiet as you gasp. But you’re not looking at Luke anymore, but rather the gleaming trident above Percy’s head as it’s revealed he’s a Forbidden Child. His jaw tightens at the sight, and there are a lot of emotions running through him, remembering Thalia and knowing that his plans will have to be altered once more because of Percy Jackson. You squeeze his hand before walking away from him to follow your dad and Chiron to the Big House, shooting him a nervous glance.

Damn.

—

The boys have been sparring for hours, and just as you think Percy’s getting the hang of it, Luke thrusts forward with an energy no one should have towards a 12-year-old. Although a bit concerning, he does have a lot to catch up on how to fight like a demigod before his quest in a few days.

“Take a break or else you’ll be crawling away from camp by the end of the week,” you joke, handing Percy and Luke bottles of cold water. Your boyfriend takes big gulps before pouring the rest over his head, leaving you gaping and a little hot under his stare as he nudges your chin and winks.

“You’re doing that on purpose!”

Luke shrugs slyly, and the both of you watch Percy catch his breath. He leans over your shoulder, the tone of his voice sultry as it tickles your ear, “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose, by any other word would smell as sweet.”

You bite your lip, before bursting with laughter—which isn’t exactly the reaction he thought you’d have. Maybe he should’ve finished reading the sonnet before falling asleep, but you always take too long with your nighttime skincare routine.

“That doesn’t mean what you think it means, but you’re cute for trying,” you coo, leaning closer so that your cheek touches his. Luke’s whole face is warm from exertion and now embarrassment, but he smiles nonetheless at the proximity. He can’t believe he still misses you, even when you’re skin-to-skin like this.

“That stanza…Isn’t it about names being meaningless?” Percy says between gasps of air before he pours the rest of the water bottle over his head like Luke did. He’s looking up at the both of you as he leans against a tree, instantly feeling more rejuvenated.

You jerk up from your seated position on the large rocks, excited to talk about Shakespeare, and Luke almost pouts at the loss of your attention.

“Yeah! Good job, bud. I forget you went to a hoity-toity charter school,” you say tongue-in-cheek, before turning back to your boy.

“So Romeo would, were he not Romeo called, retain that dear perfection which he owes without that title. Romeo, doff thy name, and, for thy name, which is no part of thee, take all myself. You’re gonna have to interpret that one yourself, angelface.”

“Trust I have no fucking clue but you sound really hot when you talk dirty to me,” Luke says with a shrug. Percy laughs at that, before finally bringing up the question that’s been on his mind since Luke introduced you to him.

“Why do you call her Trouble? She seems okay to me.”

“Thanks,” you say dryly, but the older boy leans on his arm with a lovestruck expression as he gazes at you. Oh…Percy thinks, brain feeling freshly washed. How did he miss that?

“She used to get in trouble a lot,” he says, before you elbow him hard, “I mean, we used to get in trouble, she’d always drag me into it.”

“You always offered! Don’t twist the fucking story,” you shriek, and the boys laugh at your exasperation.

“Yeah anyways, she’d always find me. Still does, my partner in crime. Trouble always comes for me,” Luke murmurs, waggling his eyebrows and intertwining your fingers together. Your jaw drops and cheeks flush and Percy thinks he understands better now, but gets confused again with what you do next.

You almost slap the goddamn scar off that boy’s face.

—

It is a terrible thing to be so open: it is as if my heart put on a face and walked into the world. -Sylvia Plath

ask to be put on luke/general taglists!

luke taglist (some won't let me tag, turn on my post notifs?): @kissingyourgrl @dorcas4meadowes @lorarri @andrewgarfldsgf @noodlesketchbook @10ava01 @poppysrin @ashisabitgay @timhalamet @liv1104 @leeknows-wife @mxtokko @bugcuti3 @luvvfromme @midmourn @2hiigh2cry @yuminako @niktwazny303 @lukecastellandefender @intergalactic-padawan @iliketopgun @annybah @dangelnleif @thegrinningghost @alyssajunelle @obxstiles @m00ng4z3r @visndcaitswhore @b0ok-lover @elegant-face-tree @this-barbie-is-having-breakdowns @amortencjja @idonevenknow1359 @maliaaaa @targaryenluvs @sakyira @dhdjdjjdhsjdiri @number-onekidqueen @nininehaaa @bradynoonswife @stevenknightmarc @hoodedhavok @happy-mushrooms @homebyeleven @anotherblackreader @too-deviant @liviessun @lilacspider @theadventuresofanartist @sucker4seresin @simpforsunwoo @zanzie @starrystormwritings @silver007 @sunny747 @huang-the-geek

#luke castellan x reader #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo x reader #luke castellan fluff #trouble!verse #made by ma1dita ♥︎#luke castellan x dionysus!reader #percy series #thank you for reading my love ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

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hphlseungyeonlee · 15 days ago

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hogwarts legacy pride week: die mad about it

greetings, this is quick lee. I've seen that my pals and comrades have been brigaded by sad, pathetic people who refuse to get off their high horses. so, let me clear a few things up and give some reminders.

(1) Liking a piece of media should NOT be construed as support of the author.

Because it's simply not the same thing. I don't know how to break this down any further. It's called having nuance and critical literacy skills. This is not even in defense of the "problematic fave". JKR is no one's fave. but there are some good things you can come away from her literature with. and if you're too narrow-minded to admit that, then… have fun censoring and killing literature lol.

(2) Chasing queer people out of the HP/HL fandom is quite literally what JKR wants.

You're doing her dirty work for her. Please read this post by another tumblr user for more. Without any queer people in the HP fandom who are willing to interrogate the text and sit with the uncomfortableness of the literature, JKR will be allowed to continue her reign of terror. It is only by starting the difficult conversations and acknowledging that JKR is, in fact, an asshat, that we can create a fandom that hates the hell out of her and reclaims the world for our own use. Some of us are unwilling to see the world die a horrid death because its creator is awful.

This video by hbomberguy delves into adapting H.P. Lovecraft for the 21st century. I feel that a lot of this video can be applied to Harry Potter and JKR. I implore you to give it a watch and let me know what you come away with.

You know who you should be railing against? The literal bigots in this fandom. There's a lot of them; I've seen them. Instead of kicking the queer fans out, how about you chase the anti-trans and anti-queer people? They aren't quiet about it.

(3) caring about JKR is a rather Western perspective.

Yes, JKR is doing real harm with her legislation. Your average US/UK queer fan is aware of this. Guess what? You can hold more than one thing in your head at the same time! Wild, I know. See point 1.

But, a lot of countries outside the US or the UK don't give a shit who she is or know much about her bigotry because it doesn't affect them or they don't speak English or they don't know. It reeks of r/USdefaultism energy to assume everyone knows what you know and everyone should do what you do. News flash, anyone outside of the US/UK can't do shit about what JKR's doing. Why the fuck are you stopping them from FREELY (read: without profiting JKR) interacting with the intellectual property (IP)? Do you realize what a waste of time this is? If you're recycling tired talking points and you don't live in the US/UK… dude, go find better use of your time.

(4) Creating fanwork does not equal "promoting" the game.

Many people read fanfic or look at fanart/edits instead of interacting with the canon work. There is an assumption that seeking fanwork means they will seek out the original media as well. This is not the case, a lot of the time, and no one considers fanwork promotion of the original text. Fanwork is inherently derivative, and both the creator and consumer is aware of that.

My friends and I frequently shit-talk the game. But the blandness of the plot and the characters is what makes a great canvas to impart our own perspectives, ideas, goals. The rules of the world are malleable in the best way. Same with the original Harry Potter world as well. It's a blank canvas, and that means it has great potential to be molded into whatever anyone wants. We have the right to take what we want to keep from JKR's IP. Again, see the hbomberguy video for more on this point.

Not to mention, Harry Potter has been a mainstay in Western media (and even non-Western media) for decades. I promise you that our fanwork is not convincing anyone to go out and buy the game.

(5) Yes, the game was financially backed by JKR and she receives royalties from it. No one is denying this fact.

However, there are literally thousands of other people involved in this game that have explicitly stood against JKR's bigotry, and they deserve to have their work celebrated too. Not to mention, a lot of people pirated this game, or bought it secondhand, or waited for the sale, or donated an equal amount to a queer nonprofit. Before you disparage a queer fan for engaging in the world of HP, please ask yourself… what have you done as far as real activism or praxis?

Most fans don't buy anything HP other than this game. In fact, I have said in the past and will continue to say: we don't need to be buying that shit any more. Merch? Books? Other random knickknacks and memorabilia? Don't need it, useless consumerism anyway. But interacting with the IP for free is a whole different thing. You just know it makes JKR mad that a bunch of queers are twisting her work into something better. Enjoy it, lads.

End of the day, you can be a fan of HP IP without putting a single cent into JKR's pocket, or little cents as possible. If at least you are aware of this fact, then move on. There's bigger fish to fry.

(6) Listen, I don't agree with the Bible on a lot, but I like a few of the lines on hypocrisy.

Matthew 7:3–5, NIV:

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye."

John 8:4–9, NIV:

…and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him. But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground. At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there.

I am sure you are actively supporting a shitty person by using social media, or listening to music, or participating in organized religion. Trying to play the Morality Olympics with some hobbyists who want to queer up HP IP as much as possible… is a waste of goddamn time. No one gives a shit that you attacked some queer people. Fat lot of good you've done. Get off your high horse before you are flung off.

Quit being an armchair activist. Go outside and interact with some real life people. Like it or not, Harry Potter is a part of the international lexicon. It's baked into our society. Do you want the fandom to be an accepting community, or do you want to actively usher in yet another un-safe space?

I understand that in the world it is a difficult time right now. A lot of people feel powerless in the face of such outright fascism rearing its head. To the queer people out there, let me remind you—attacking your fellow queers is not the right move. This is what the oppressors want, for us to fight each other instead of collaborating and unifying. You should be directing your energy to assisting your local community, starting conversations about trans rights, standing up for your local trans members, and participating in praxis. If you feel so strongly about this topic, good! I'm glad you feel that way. Go donate your time or resources to a nonprofit—they need your support. Go to protest or riot. Start a coalition. Why tear down a thriving community when you can build up your own?

There is no shame in stepping away from HP because JKR's real life words are too vile for you to consider. But there's also no shame in sticking around in an act of reclamation or spite.

To the queer HL community; thanks for being you. Thank you for having the tough conversations. Thank you for making space. Thank you for being nuanced. Keep up the good work. You're one cool cat.

I'll leave you with some links to nonprofits and organizations that make an actual difference.

Stonewall (public policy campaigns, UK)

Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) (LGBTQ advocacy, USA)

The Trevor Project (youth suicide prevention, USA)

Queerwell (queer mental health and wellness, UK)

PFLAG KOREA

Trans Liberation Front (트랜스해방전선)

Solidarity for LGBT Human Rights of Korea (행동하는성소수자인권연대)

Beyond the Rainbow Foundation (BRF: 비온뒤무지개재단)

KQTx (Korean Queer & Trans National Network) (Korean American queer community)

If you live in the North Carolina area, here are some local links.

One Voice Chorus

Time Out Youth

PFLAG CHARLOTTE

Equality North Carolina Foundation

The Plus Collective

RAIN

#hogwarts legacy #hogwarts legacy pride week #don’t make me tap the sign #“lack of critical consumption of media is how humanity dies”#“lack of acknowledgement is how history repeats itself”

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omghallucinations · 3 months ago

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seventeen mingyu: in the weeds edition

degrees, outer planets, chart patterns, ascendant complex, asteroids, aspects, upcoming saturn return??? we got it all

dude i'm so mad. i'm so mad!!! as i started writing this i was all, sure i like mingyu, but i'm not wild about mingyu, i mean everyone goes wild for mingyu, i want to spread the love!! okay!! yet here we are.

his chart bewitched and beguiled me. so intriguing! multiplicity! got mommy issues? daddy issues? a healthy attachment style?? mingyu will appeal!! however, monogamy.... probably not gonna be his bag, so keep that one in mind lmao.

29° neptune: it's giving manic pixie dream boy

ok neptune stood out to me right off the bat.

you know when i see a 29° planet i'm always gonna talk about it

neptune aspects 5/9 of his planets, and his ascendant and his MC

neptune co-rules his moon, south node, and his MC 2x (pisces, neptune decan)

a prominent/notable neptune often means people simply love to project the hell onto you, so it's not an uncommon chart situation for idols.

looking at this chart, mingyu can be someone's dream boy no matter what the dream is. he has qualities that can fit into any archetype. you want assertive and competent? he can do that. you want sweet and accommodating? he can do that too. you want clever, you want a himbo, you want funny, you want serious? he can do it all!

-> do being the key word. he does contain multitudes and is genuinely multifaceted (gemini rising, mutable cross) but the neptune factor is also projection. he can play a part, but also people often read into him whatever they want to see.

29 is the anaretic degree, it says PAY ATTENTION TO ME. it's about to pass into the next sign, which adds a few fun layers:

+ skill and proficiency: he's a good actor, fits into social roles easily, has a kind of healing energy for people, very sensitive, idealistic, could have some psychic qualities lowkey or just is very intuitive. don't get too excited!! 29° is not considered a benefic, because what exactly is beneficial about having to finish a project? this is not fun and fancy free 0° just starting shit and doesn't have to worry about finishing it!! finishing stuff sucks so much and this is in capricorn, the pressure is immense!! ->capricorn neptune usually vibes kind of.... self-sacrificial. he might find it a little easy to martyr himself when no one asked him to do all that -> 8th house--well let's amp neptune's needs the fuck up, shall we?? anything in a water house is karmic as shit. also he is intuitive as fuck. walk into a room and he knows how eeeeeeverybody is feeling within 10 seconds. there are a lot of psychic qualities here, and moon conjunct south node can he see ghosts bro??? wouldn't put it past him. + urgency: as neptune is about to leave capricorn, he might feel this desperation to do and acquire as much here as possible. we're gonna see spirituality, merging with others, escapism! there's a sense of need here, the void calls him, he must do it all!!! -> neptune is water, altered states, can't say no -> 8th house is I Feel Too Much I See The Depths I Gotta Crash Out -> capricorn is I Can't Let Go of My Responsibilities Without SEVERE ASSISTANCE -> 29° is SCREAMING SCREAMING SCREAMING... hm. be careful about alcohol, buddy, i'm sensing... binge drinking? + tests: time for final neptune exams! lowkey mingyu might have some addictive tendencies for real. either way he's gonna face some crises around escapism for sure, also probably crises to do with his lack of boundaries, workaholism, and how easily he merges with others.

with neptune in the 8th house, sex addiction or just general promiscuity as escapism is... really not out of the question here i'm not gonna lie. tbh i'd be shocked if his bedpost was not notched all to hell. HOWEVER, it's not at all the stereotypical fuckboy asshole vibe, it's kind of like:

aries sun/venus conjunction in the 11th house: okay fine, a soupçon of fuckboy energy, assertive, probably the kind of flirt who teases you a lot (have u ever met an aries venus who is not playfully mean as a form of flirtation bc i haven't), fun social energy, life of the party, unbearably charming... aaand very much will ghost you. but not in a mean way! however pisces moon/mc, prominent neptune, venus sextile jupiter, moon conjunct sn, lots of other chart aspects tbh: incredibly sweet and earnest, forms genuine connections with people, caring, nurturing as shit, earnestly looks into ur eyes all the time, probably a chronic face toucher however sagittarius 7th house, gemini rising, gemini juno: he's just naturally kind of a roamer romantically! he seeks variety, conversation, connection, experience, adventure, new things. he'd probably be into romance with people from lots of different places, who speak other languages--but again, it's really a one or two night thing. (tbh gemini risings, with that sag 7th house libra 5th house, often um.... .. well they don't settle down easily? tend to have a lot of fun in um social um situations? chart dependent, but it's not unusual (looking at you bang chan))

mingyu might be one night standing 365, but he honestly no bullshit feels a connection with every single person when they're together. he looks upon their time together fondly when he leaves at 3am! and he's not putting on an act here!

like sure he is not staying for breakfast, but he doesn't see that as not... valuing the person, i guess? it's very spiritual vibey, neptunian, ahhh how beautiful, we connected tonight, i'll remember you, our journeys connected for this one beautiful moment, farewell, etc. sagittarius-y too, which makes sense with his 7th house. like it's bullshit in a way but it's not bullshit to him, u know?

man i hope he is good at communication, because this is giving manic pixie dream boy in a huge way. lmaoooo, i can't lie it's kind of fun to me? gemini sun to gemini rising, this is fun!

ok let's add some qualifiers, aspects with less than 2° orb (so they're strong, is what i'm saying)

square libra chiron in the 5th at 29° (0.07°A) yeah so um, that's likely more of the same sort of theme (5th house includes casual romantic relationships), but more neuroses about it. -> on some level he's a little afraid to let people stay--like he's not at all afraid of connection, but he is afraid of sustained connection -> he is also afraid of NOT GETTING ENOUGH ATTENTION!!! (5th house) but he's very cute and earnest about it. he probably feels genuinely upset and remorseful if someone feels led on by him. -> also like, fifth house as childhood, who hurt you mingyu??? who discouraged your artistic expression when u were a kid??? were you discouraged from expressing urself for social conformity reasons?? did u feel shame about breaking the peace and ur need for attention?? man that saturn and SN in the 10th... mars in the 4th... pluto squaring your MC-IC... heal ur inner child mingyu 😭

quincunx gemini ascendant (1.57°A) : in one sense mingyu is acting in a genuine way and if people don't get that that's their problem, but at the same time the projections occur, and make him feel like he's not being perceived as his true self :/ is it because people think you're a dom top when you're actually a sub service top... jw -> the quincunx is a thinky thinky aspect--whenever i see it i know the person can analyze that shit (and too much probably, with another strong quincunx between mingyu's mercury and pluto) -> mingyu's Life Journey is about communicating (gemini) and asserting himself (aries), and his neptune issues (escapism, martyring himself, ghosting) come into conflict with that journey

conjunct pallas (0.42°S): ok. well. this is where my head really turned for mingyu, like damn bud he has the Vision. -> amazing natural leader, inspiring, strategic, problem-solver, finds creative solutions out of nowhere. -> sometimes an active neptune can lead to an easily bruised quality (i love her but blackpink jennie (neptune conjunct sun) was like this before her saturn return[in pisces!]). with that pisces moon i had assumed mingyu would get this too but!! he does not. he has a deep, unshakable like... belief? connection with the universe in a way?? he knows he can get through anything; he's incredibly resilient. -> sidebar pallas is at 0° aquarius-- he is smart smart smart, really quick thinker

trine gemini juno in his 12th house (1.5°S): goddamnit this chart keeps getting cuter but not too cute, i'm so mad. he's a natural caretaker and nurturer, especially with this being in a water houses trine. people look at him and are like, immediately ready to confess all their troubles. he's so nurturing!! if you have mommy issues, mingyu could appeal to you! (oh shit is that why this is working on me...? lmao uh oh) -> gemini juno in the 12th, he likes a partner who is clever, communicative, variable, possibly who plays hard to get sometimes, in the 12th he wants to feel like Fated to that person, however likely to have lots of undefined relationships and/or secret relationships and/or issues with partners meaning ill towards him or causing him harm directly or indirectly (not a guarantee, just a possibility)

bucket chart with a 4th house mars handle: go go go! (home? NO! the CLUB! then home :) )

mingyu has a bucket chart pattern--almost all of his planets are in one half of his chart--mostly the upper half (public facing, life is about external situations), but there are two in the lower half--pluto and mars. OHHHH boy, he's got some subconscious brewing down there, baby!! 6th house pluto and virgo mars can u say... anxiety???

notably, mars is our "bucket handle", since it's off by itself. it's gonna flavor the whoooooole pot, and since it's down by the IC in the most private and personal part of the chart, it's like mingyu holds this very close to his chest.

bucket chart patterns usually mean EXTREMES, pushing urself, conflict, all that kind of thing, and mars as the bucket handle??? lmao. life is about ACTION.

however. mars is in virgo in the 4th house and retrograde, this isn't a straightforward fiery direct mars in aries in the first or something. he is very go go go but also there's a lot of fear and restriction in there. also virgo is about SERVICE, so that is key (and: service top energy???)

any planet trying to make a move: so yeah that's my plan, i just need you to sign off, so if you can do that real quick... mars rx: hey :) you gotta learn how to assert yourself in your own individual way that is free from societal pressure :) u won't learn this for a long time so :) hope you enjoy things going wrong :) virgo mars: i have made 8 lists and cross-referenced all of them and then i will make a decision but wait what if i made a mistake, hm let's make another 2 lists, why are you getting impatient there is no point doing something if i do not do it correctly, mars in the 4th house: no yeah that's fine i can um. i can do all that. for sure. no problem. just gotta... cancel all my other plans so i can do everything myself since i'm the ONLY one who can,,,,, so, ,,

-> quincunx 11th house aries venus: (mars trying to throttle venus for impulsive choices because of social pressures YET AGAIN) -> quincunx 11th house aries sun: (following aries sun to parties whispering how have you been of service lately in his ear while he takes another shot) the perfectionism really jumps out in this whole area of the chart, plus the heavy 10th house -> conjunct lilith: oooh boy!! energy, charm, willpower, sexual magnetism, assertive, basically like injecting cautious virgo mars with a bit of scorpio and a bit of aries, ooohHHHH boy. his action and will is based on passion! however, potential to dominate situations and/or make rash emotional decisions (virgo mars hates this) -> conjunct virgo lilith in the 4th house: perfectionism runs rife, also some issues with the family (esp with his mars being in the 4th)--could be family secrets, or he feels beholden to his family all the time, or he didn't feel like he belonged in his family, or something else, but it leads to a certain masking quality for self-protection. -----> especially with this conjunction directly opposed to his 10th house moon--possibly an unhealthy relationship with his mother or another parent-like figure, enmeshment or just a ton of pressure on him (and possibly the reverse, pressure taken off him when it's not necessary). a lot to unravel here for him, lots of generational stuff at play, this is less fun and honestly more red flag-y? but it could also be just another thing to help him be even more empathetic, it really depends on how he deals with it!

mutable cross, mutable planets

rare is the aries sun who vibes like a mutable sign. despite clearly having an aries sun, mingyu has a shitton of mutable energy muddying the waters. very weird for cardinal fire aries!

so mingyu is fire dominant, with water coming a close second. then mutable energy goes crazy.

mingyu's angles are in a mutable square--gemini ascendant, sagittarius descendant, pisces MC, virgo IC.

mingyu's cardinal sun, saturn and venus might feel awkward with like his life direction and shape, in a sense. his mutable placements (his pisces moon, lunar nodes, virgo mars and even his sag pluto which is generational) gel with the way his life moves and may feel more "accessible" to him. it's an interesting combination!

pisces moon in the 10th house -- deeply empathetic, need for emotional contact, softness, but also expects a lot of himself (10th house), it's the highest planet on the chart so it's visible, easily accessible, very public. HUGE sense of responsibility to others.

virgo mars in the 4th house -- precision, energy, highly competent, good at "home" stuff, probably good at DIY and cooking and anything homemaking, also very high expectations of himself, loves to Provide

sag pluto in the 6th house -- pluto in the 6th house is all about Service, which literally was already point 1 and 2 on this list, so this is what is called a "repeated theme" lads! mingyu's soul journey has a huge slice about service to others. pluto in the 6th is all about getting humbled, lmao. he may go through crises or just humiliation in some way, whatever it takes for the soul to get a reality check. this placement can be prone to over-work, distracting themselves from anxiety, that sort of thing. a crisis that may happen often does through the body--illness or injury forcing someone to have to slow down and assess shit.

while we're here, let's look at his MC

in pisces: at work/in the wider world he moves in a sensitive, artistic way, very empathetic, he needs to be able to be creative and to connect with other people in order to feel satisfied professionally neptune decan: all that projection, tho conjunct the royal star fomalhaut: this was super interesting to me--any royal star in close conjunction with someone's chart will bring gifts and success and the opportunity to share a message w the world, but it will also make you go through Trials. mingyu's neptune is already putting him through Trials so like join the club i guess!! -> pros: wisdom, empathy, artistic talent -> cons: intense very visible emotions, aforementioned Trials

let's add some dialogue with the aspects, shall we?

pisces MC: i meet the world with sensitivity and empathy :) if i don't get to do that professionally i feel incomplete :( sextile taurus mercury in the 11th: my talent for communication aligns perfectly with my career :) also i have a nice down-to-earth and sensible vibe :) i love to chill with my friends and like-minded groups of people :) trine chiron: wow i am so wise :) feeling stifled creatively when i was young has made me value what i have now! i can heal others through my artistic expression! square pluto: knock knock pisces MC: no... no don't do it... square pluto: say who's there. never mind i don't care, it's time to force that transformation, baby!! pisces MC: but my escapism? square sag pluto in the 6th: not anymore :) damn look at that, now you have a slight terror around your need to be liked... a deep inability to follow orders you think are stupid... pisces MC: at least i have a cute duality between innocence and wisdom now? square pluto in the 6th: hey u know that deep soul level feeling of lack and internalized guilt that permeates everything? hm what if that could be fixed... with enough power/success/approval from other people pisces MC: but it's ... it's never going to be enough? square pluto: but it's never going to be enough :)

active 9th, 10th, 11th house: Externally Focused, Extrovert Style

(not that people with these placements are all extroverts, it's just the whole picture is screaming SOCIAL BUTTERFLY here)

-jupiter in the 9th: he's live laugh loving, he's listening and learning, he's on a Journey, jupiter's favorite house is the 9th and she can't wait to tell you about her backpacking trip (mingyu loves a backpacking trip) -> jupiter in aquarius: curiosity! interested in new ideas, also thinks he's right all the time -> jupiter sextile sun (exact orb): people like him! he has a talent for literally shining, but also projecting and expanding the vision of the self -> 9th jupiter sextile 11th sun: talent for communicating ideas to groups of people -> jupiter sextile venus: people really like him very much -> jupiter square vertex in gemini: you know that sylvia plath quote about the fig tree? that. so many possibilities! sometimes gets disappointed because he has really high expectations. wants everything all at once! cannot have :(

aries sun in the 11th: SOCIAL!!! also smart. wants to be influential with groups, is already influential with groups, feels he is not influential enough? natural leader tho. -> also super loyal! -> sun conjunct venus (exact): very pretty :) very charming :) very adorable :) gentle :) sweet :) NEEDS TO BE LOVED BY EVERYONE ALL THE TIME OR HE WILL WILT!!! HIS FEELINGS WERE HURT BECAUSE U DIDN'T GIVE HIM ENOUGH ATTENTION!! aries venus in the 11th: flirts by teasing someone, wants to be flirted with by teasing, also would prefer this to happen in public where everyone can observe and he can feel like a special boy (he is a special boy!!) -> insanely huge social circle, CONSTANTLY out, hates being alone, loves the club, loves to flirt with e-v-e-r-y-one. also falls in love with everyone, but for like 30-50 seconds each. -> venus quincunx mars: a little afraid of serious conflict for an aries sun!! asteroid sedna in the 11th: mmm. a little bit of a doormat at times for his friends. will give the shirt off his back, and then all the shirts from his closet, then be like wait :( i have no shirts :( why didn't someone give me their shirts???? why am i always the one giving shirts???? hopefully his aries energy can balance this out. mercury in the 11th: lives to communicate with others. wants to share his thoughts and ideas!! ability to analyze things! -> taurus mercury: when he has made his decision about something, good luck changing his mind lmao it ain't happening -> taurus mercury in the 11th: fixed energy on fixed house energy, unbelievably stubborn, lord with the aries sun as well... ... god bless. i mean i think this combo is fun, but... .... yeah don't try to change his mind ever, just manipulate him into it, it'll be easier for both of you. -> quincunx pluto in the 6th: some anxiety and fear here--does he like overshare when he gets drunk at a party and then regrets it and crashes out a little bit the next day?? very possible. -> sextile MC: lucky! his need to communicate is matched perfectly with his public persona -> taurus sextile pisces MC: he has (a) a talent for communicating in a way that has people emotionally connecting and (b) a certain level of realism and practicality protects him from having the tissue paper boundaries of many pisces MCs

moon in the 10th: have discussed a little, but having the most sensitive intimate moon (pisces) in the most public business boy house can feel weird sometimes, a little bit vulnerable, however he is well-loved -> conjunct SN: SENSITIVE saturn in the 10th: the 10th is saturn's favorite house, it's the house of Getting Real and Growing The Hell Up and Having Expectations That Are Maybe Unrealistic and then Beating Urself Up For Not ACHIEVING ENOUGH... i mean. however saturn is a rude bitch so even when your saturn is a place where he is comfortable, he will still fuck up your shit :/ don't get me wrong i love saturn, but i do not think that mingyu loves saturn? aries and saturn... well. -> aries saturn in the 10th: a whole mess of contradictions. starting and stopping, rushing and waiting, wanting to SHINE and being terrified of shining? -> saturn conjunct sun: was his dad... really strict? bright side, huge amounts of self-discipline, hard worker, reliable, very different flavor of an aries sun. still an aries sun, though, you cannot quash the aries sun. also SKY HIGH expectations of himself.

stay tuned for ur saturn return starting 24 may 2025, mingyu, it's gonna rock your shit up 😬. ahh lord, look at this!! i'm not even a predictive astrology girlie and i went "uh oh..."

like, his saturn return as our foundational issue, then saturn activating his moon, SN, saturn, sun, venus? pluto activating the 8th the whole time? squaring his mercury? uranus activating the 12th?? nodal reversal?? damn that is... a lot of upheaval and transformation and change, bud. neptune haunting the 10th like "hey... what if all ur future plans... were all wrong? no i do not have an alternative plan for u i'm just here to tell u ur lost :)"

great if he deals with things productively, however It Hurts To Become and all that!!

godspeed, mingyu, at least you bagged another admirer on this day (my dumb ass)

#kpop astrology #seventeen astrology #mingyu astrology

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esquilone · 4 months ago

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What I would say/i guess about women who are attracted to Dutch Van der Linde and Sean MacGuire:

RDR2 and You

❤︎ Based on that request! ❤︎

❤︎ Note: the images aren't mine, they're from Pinterest, I just edited them and changed details and made a cover for this post! :p

Right... I don't think Dutch and Sean are characters I'm going to be able to give a good assessment of, so much so that my focus is more on Micah and Javier, but I've done some research with some things I already knew, I've just added them with others and put together some unfinished texts, okay? I hope they match up a bit with reality and what I believe would make a woman like men who look the same as them.

𝓓𝓾𝓽𝓬𝓱 𝓥𝓪𝓷 𝓭𝓮𝓻 𝓛𝓲𝓷𝓭𝓮 -

Why do some women like Dutch van der Linde?

Dutch has an absurd magnetism. He is a charismatic leader, always with a speech ready and the ability to make anyone believe in him. This can be attractive because he has that energy of a “great man, a man who knows how to solve everything.”someone who seems to know exactly what he is doing (even when, in reality, he is just improvising so he doesn’t appear to be falling apart).

Psychologically, he represents that figure of the “revolutionary dreamer,” someone who challenges the system and promises a better future. Many people are drawn to this kind of idealism, even when it turns dangerous. He also has a way of seducing without needing to be direct, simply through the power of words and presence. Want proof? Many incredibly intelligent members (Arthur included) followed Dutch and Hosea blindly. However, I strongly believe that Dutch always had a slightly psychotic tendency. I firmly think he struggled against his own selfishness and greed because Hosea was there to put him in his place. He probably revealed this side of himself during the Blackwater massacre and robbery, but the ones who witnessed it are already dead, so no one could say anything without proof. Hosea often showed both excitement and disagreement toward Dutch’s plans, and I believe it was because he had already seen that darker side of him.

As the game progresses, he reveals this dark side more and more—he becomes paranoid and manipulative, his biggest red flag. However, this doesn’t stop some women from being attracted to complicated men, thinking they can “save” them or bring back their good side. (I mentioned this in my analysis of Micah.)

I believe Dutch truly loved once, and that was Annabelle, who was murdered by Colm O’Driscoll. He becomes violent and loses patience when talking to Colm about her, not because Colm apologized, but because he showed complete disdain for what happened. I think this event pushed Dutch further toward becoming cold and violent out of pure selfishness. So yes, if Dutch loved a woman enough, he could sacrifice anything for revenge in her name. He mentions more than twice how much he despises Colm for killing her, and Arthur even tells him something like, “You should let go of revenge, you killed his brother first once.” But Dutch refuses to let it go.

Dutch's old love: Annabel

Anabelle is one of the greatest mysteries of Dutch’s past, something he never truly got over. She is almost like a ghost in his story—someone who represents a time when he was still a different man, perhaps more noble, less corrupted by his own pride. We already know she was murdered by Colm O’Driscoll—I’ve mentioned this before—the impact of her death is one of the reasons why he never truly committed to anyone again. He may have romanticized Anabelle in his mind, turning her into a perfect and unattainable figure. This might explain why he never treated Molly the same way.

And what about Molly O’Shea?

To me, Molly is a perfect example of someone who fell in love with the idea of Dutch rather than the real man he was. In fact, I believe he presented himself as the perfect, caring man to her—maybe because, in some way, she reminded him of Anabelle. Molly got involved with this strong and charismatic leader. She is described as a woman of “high class and society,” so we see that she left some things behind—perhaps for Dutch? I’m not 100% sure, because Molly is a proud woman, someone who wants to be seen and considered the best. She wanted to be the woman by his side, but Dutch never gave her the attention she craved. He was more focused on the gang and his own delusions of grandeur.

So as time passed, she realized that he was not really available for her, not giving her attention that she had always received, without time for her. This led her to a cycle of frustration and resentment, until, in a moment of anger, she made the mistake of saying that she betrayed him (when in fact, she didn't) she just wanted him to look at her again like the first time, you see that she drank, probably because she lacked the courage to say everything she wanted.

Molly was nothing more than a shadow of what Dutch wanted—a woman who loved him desperately but could never reach his heart. She spent her time trying to be seen by him, wanting the love he had already given to someone else, and she was consumed by it. Molly's tragedy is that she was just one more in the long list of people who believed too much in Dutch and ended up destroyed by it.

Attraction to Men Like Dutch – The Fascination with Power, Dangerous Charisma, and Protection:

Women who are typically attracted to men like Dutch are often influenced by deeper psychological factors, which can range from unconscious patterns to past experiences. His manipulative charisma triggers something called the halo effect, where his intelligence and eloquence make him seem more trustworthy and desirable than he actually is, creating the illusion that there is no need to worry because he appears to predict and plan everything before it happens. Additionally, there is the visionary leader archetype, someone who seems to understand the world better than others, a man who promises a grand future—something extremely attractive to those seeking emotional security or meaning in life.

(Most people who seek emotional and physical security are women, which is why it is not uncommon for younger women to choose older men, as in some cases they resemble the protective presence of a maternal figure, but in a romantic sense.)

Another explanation may also lie in what is called attraction to the charismatic narcissist. Men like Dutch are magnetic because they project absolute confidence and power, qualities that can activate primitive instincts of survival and protection. Some women also feel that they could be the “exception” for him, the only one capable of conquering his true love and being the constant companion by his side, which reinforces and fits into the savior fantasy, where they believe they can bring out the good side of a troubled man. But in the end, this usually leads to frustration and pain because the truth is, Dutch belongs to no one but himself—and perhaps his first true love. If you happened to be the kind of woman he truly desires, he might surrender that pride for love, but you would have to be the most unforgettable. He is the type of man who is nearly impossible to have kneeling at your feet.

What would it be like to be in a relationship with him?

If Dutch were truly in love, the relationship would be intense and psychological. He thrives on control and admiration, so he’d naturally take on a protective, almost mentor-like role with a younger woman. He’d enjoy being the one who teaches, impresses, and leads. In the beginning, he’d be incredibly charming—seductive, confident, making her feel like the most important person in the world. But Dutch also has a narcissistic side. He craves absolute loyalty and validation, and if he ever felt like he was losing control or giving in too much, he could emotionally distance himself. If she became an obstacle to his ambitions, he would likely grow cold, prioritizing his dreams over her. Dutch always seeks something greater, something that fuels his ego, and if he ever felt trapped, he wouldn’t hesitate to walk away.

However, if she wasn’t an obstacle—if she admired him, supported his vision, and fueled his sense of power—then he could be deeply devoted in his own way. He would spoil her with attention, make her feel special, and keep her close as his most trusted confidante. As long as she reinforced his greatness and never made him feel small, she could be the one person he’d truly hold onto.

What would it be like if it was the opposite of an obstacle, but rather his pure Love for her?

If Dutch truly loved this woman and saw her as his ally, he would be intense and protective. His affection would come through striking gestures—firm embraces, deep kisses, holding her waist or face while speaking in an intimate and captivating tone. He would love to see her admiration and make sure she knew how special she was.

He would show his affection through small luxuries—a ring, a necklace, or something symbolic; he is a man of refined tastes. If she strengthened his pride, he would protect her above all else. In his most vulnerable moments, he might lower his guard only for her, lying beside her at night, sharing his dreams and fears—things he would never admit to anyone else.

( - ❤︎ - )

𝓢𝓮𝓪𝓷 𝓜𝓪𝓬𝓖𝓾𝓲𝓻𝓮 -

Sean???? Oh my, he's the complete opposite of Dutch, I know a few things about him that I believe define him as the man he is; boy, Sean seems to be younger, not as young as Lenny or Tilly, but young, Arthur calls him a "kid" sometimes. He's that outgoing guy, who makes fun of everything and never takes himself seriously. He has a chaotic and youthful energy, a free spirit that likes a good fight and a good drink. Many women are attracted to this type of personality because he is the opposite of monotony. It brings fun, and a little irresponsibility. Psychologically, he can represent that guy who makes you forget the problems, who requires nothing but to live in the moment. In addition, he has an Irish accent that can be very charming for some people, and his self-confidence (even exaggerated) gives a certain charm. I've talked to some people in English and I don't understand the accent because everything seems the same to me, but the redneck accent of the United States I can feel when they speak, so the Irish would be a faster accent and with some elongated words when pronounced. He is bold, playful, often drunk—a man who takes pleasure in teasing and being teased. He makes people laugh when they don’t want to, and even when the entire gang is sighing in frustration, they know he’s an enjoyable presence. He pulls you into situations you never imagined yourself in, and suddenly, you realize you’re enjoying it. There’s something pure about the way he throws himself into life—fearless, without overthinking the future. He may not be the most reliable, he may be reckless and quite irresponsible, but there’s something charming about that—because with him, life is never dull.

Sean MacGuire’s Possible Red Flags:

Sean has always had a chaotic energy—in a fun way—but he can also be frustrating. He’s not the kind of man you can trust with your life—let alone your heart. He’s the guy who disappears for days and returns as if nothing happened, probably laughing with a wild story to tell. He also has an inflated ego, always believing he’s the center of attention, which can be annoying if someone tries to have a serious conversation with him.

And… what about Karen? Well, they had a fling during Sean’s welcome-back party at camp, but it was never serious. Sean never seemed like the type to commit—he lives in the moment and doesn’t get attached. That carefree attitude can be thrilling for someone looking for excitement, but frustrating for someone wanting something deeper. He makes you feel special in the moment, but the next day, he might be making another woman laugh just the same. However, he didn’t really flirt with other women at camp, at least not openly. There’s even a scene where Karen almost slaps him, possibly days after their fling, and later she cries, saying he only cares about her when he’s drunk. Sean asks why she’s upset, and she just says everything is fine and tells him to keep doing whatever he was doing. After his death in Rhodes, Karen starts drinking heavily, which might say more about how much she actually cared.

What Attracts Women to Sean?

If Dutch is a dangerous addiction, Sean is pure mischief. What makes him attractive is that he has no filter—he says what he thinks, and what he thinks is usually funny. Physically, he has a rougher charm. He’s not the best-looking guy in camp (at least not in my opinion!), but he has that mischievous smile, that glint in his eye that makes it seem like he has a secret only you can uncover. He’s not a typical heartthrob, but his energy is irresistible. Many women end up with men who make them laugh, caring less about looks when the personality is that magnetic. His carefree and spontaneous nature is also a big part of his appeal. He’s not always trying to impress—he simply is that way. That makes interactions with him feel genuine, even if he’s not the most reliable man around. For those who love a free spirit, someone who lives without fear or restraint, Sean is hard to ignore.

His playful and teasing nature creates a quick sense of intimacy, like he’s someone you can truly be yourself around—laugh until your stomach hurts and forget about your worries. He provokes and challenges, but never in a threatening way, which can be exciting. And his slightly childish pride can even be charming, making it feel like he’s always trying to impress, even if he won’t admit it.

Attraction to Men Like Sean – The Charm of the Teaser and the Free Spirit

Men like Sean represent a different kind of psychological fascination. They are teasers, playful, and INSISTENT, which triggers a phenomenon called the chase effect—the idea that the more someone provokes and challenges you, the more engaging they become. Their bold and daring nature creates tension, a push-and-pull dynamic that can be exciting for many women.

Additionally, Sean fits the archetype of the man who pursues, which can activate something known as validation through desire—when someone feels more attractive and valued because they are being intensely desired. He has no fear of showing interest, and that can be irresistible, especially in contrast to men who are more closed off or indifferent. He’s not a bad choice. c:

How could Sean be if he was really attracted in the romantic sense, by a woman?

If Sean truly liked a woman, he would show affection in a spontaneous and playful way. He’s not the type for grand romantic declarations, but he’d express his feelings through teasing, cheeky nicknames, and casual touches—throwing his arm around her shoulders or messing up her hair just to hear her complain. He would probably try to impress her by telling exaggerated (or completely made-up) stories about his adventures, just to make her laugh. In more sincere moments, he might lower his guard and be surprisingly sweet—holding her hand when no one was looking or pulling her into a dance for no reason, just because. And despite his reckless nature, if he truly cared, he would try to protect her in his own way, even if it meant getting into trouble to defend her.

At his core, Sean’s affection would come from his loyalty and the way he’d make sure to always be around, making life lighter and more fun.

Conclusion:

Dutch Van der Linde and Sean are the complete opposite of each other, each reflecting a different type of masculine figure for different women, or perhaps there are high and low levels! It all depends on the person.

I hope you liked it, goodbye! ❤︎

#rdr2 #arthur morgan #red dead redemption two #rdr2 x reader #rdr2 community #rdr2 dutch #dutch van der linde #dutch #sean mcguire #sean macguire #red dead redemption 2 #rdr fandom #rdr x reader #rdr2 fanfic #psychological analysis #end

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miwiheroes · 5 months ago

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Dropping Byler Evidence Every Day Until Season 5

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ Day 19: Colourgate is Undoubtedly Real . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

I think we don't often see 'gates' as real proof because they are based on pure speculation and some little pieces of evidence originally, but this theory (aka the Blue meets Yellow in the West theory) is literally true. Like without a doubt in my mind, this theory is completely canon, and it was the writers' intention to make it canon from when they coined that phrase. Either that, or they decided to latch onto a fan theory for some reason which I highly doubt.

I am only going to look at colourgate stuff from S3 onwards, because this is when the theory was written. I don't think they've had this particular theory planned from S1, and this can be seen in how little blue or yellow Mike and Will wear or are associated with (but you never know). Season 4 is obviously the richest of all the seasons for this theory, because it is literally where the theory gets canonised.

I don't think people understand that Byler becoming endgame in season 5 isn't the only thing that can prove this theory correct. I think that in season 4, this theory became canon for so so many reasons, although there were hints of it in S3 (because that is when it started).

And this obviously proves that Byler is endgame (duh) because why would they spend this much effort on foreshadowing and placing clues in for a couple that isn't going to end up together??

Starting from the beginning , from the ROOTS:

So it all really started with the Russian code that Robin cracks in S3, and we find out that this means when the two hands meet at the 9 on the clock. The full code is:

“The week is long. The silver cat feeds when blue meets yellow in the west. A trip to china sounds nice if you tread lightly.”

To me, the fact that the writers stated this is a code has to mean that it is also a code and a little hint for the viewers as to what will happen next in season 4. To me, I believe this code is literally true and the writers fully intended to foreshadow S4 plot points with this.

"The week is long." -- This means spring break. All the events that happen in S4 happen over the course of Spring Break, and it seems long because of all the things that happen.

"The silver cat feeds" -- This means Vecna. Vecna is 'feeding' off of people's trauma in S4 which gives him the energy to create 4 gates. And this occurs exactly when:

"when blue meets yellow in the West." -- This means when Mike meets up with Will in California. Blue has been associated with Mike and Yellow has been associated with Will in S4 mostly but blue was already Mike's colour anyway, before S4. Also, California is literally the westest of west coasts.

"A trip to China sounds nice if you treat lightly." -- This means a trip to the Upside Down. The teens in S4 went into the upside down and it was established by them that they needed to not step on the vines because it's a hive mind and would alert Vecna.

SOOOOOO Yeah this literally perfectly foreshadows the events of S4, but there are still people out there that believe that blue and yellow do not mean Mike and Will and could actually mean El and Mike (a reach but i have to acknowledge it).

But, in Season 4, I think that they easily canonise the phrase "blue meets yellow" with this simple shot.

Not only are the lights perfectly placed above their respective heads, but El is in the middle of the two, and this cannot be a coincidence. The lights are extremely colourful and this type of coloured lighting is also often edited in post, meaning the editors and the directors and set designers would have all had to agree on the colours of the lights and had it be an important thing. If anyone calls this a coincidence or not related to the S3 code, I am simply baffled.

It is also confirmed that when they hired this roller rink for the show, they actually built in NEW LIGHTS for the scene, meaning they specifically placed blue and yellow lights around the rink for this specific stuff.

When the camera pans down, the lights literally go:

all yellow leading up to Mike and all blue leading up to Will -> a singular yellow one over Will and a singular blue over Mike.

This was done in order to emphasise which colours are theirs specifically, because the camera stopped on the right ones.

To be honest, this ALONE would have made the theory true. But there's still so so much more proof anyway...

Obviously, there are the outfits.

I could talk about a lot of different outfits, but I think the most relevant ones to note are the ones from S3 and S4, because they're the ones most likely associated with the theory.

The clearest ones to me are these two outfit combos that COMPLEMENT each other. The complementary outfit pairings are enough by themselves, but the fact they are complementary to blue and yellow prove this theory pertains to Mike and Will. The reason why costume designers put couples in matching costumes is so that the audience subconsciously starts viewing them as a pair that makes sense together. That not only complement each other's styles, but complement each other as a whole.

Other outfits with these colours come from S3 and (i know I said I wouldn't talk about this but) S2, where they may have gotten some idea.

Although, it is interesting that here, Mike and Will are wearing their opposite colours in S3. This is the season where they have the most disconnect and have their fun (ahhh) breakup arc, although the writers could have simply revised the colour coding for S4.

Now let's talk about Lighting:

In this youtube video by the Duffers, they explicitly state that thought goes into the lighting in the show. This should really go without saying, though. Thought should get put into lighting in ANY form of professional filmmaking in order to imply different meanings to a scene. It completely transforms any scene.

Blue and yellow lighting is used in Byler scenes to further emphasise the canon-ness of the code from S3.

These lights have been purposefully built into this set, and were not there in the rink before the set designers had their way with it. Also these lights can be seen many times during the Rink o Mania scene, from different angles. Not only that but their faces are illuminated in blue and yellow lighting (each half of their faces) See below:

And then there is THIS SHOT. (below) I already love love love this shot so much it gives me butterflies ahhh -- not only because it's so intimate but because it is so beautifully colour matched. The directors and editors made sure that Mike and Will's outfits and the lighting of the scenery around them literally matched. Just to create this beautiful image oh my lawd....

Is that still not enough proof for you yet? Well there's MORE!

Their bedrooms are blue and yellow:

Their Netflix icons??? From S3: (and the fact that this is where the theory was conceptualised, meaning they were really trying to show you that it was hinting at something here)

If this has no connection to the code in season 3, these colour associations are still very very much proof. Associating two colours with two characters very heavily implies that they have a connection that will pan out tbh.

A possible argument is that this may not relate to the code -- maybe the writers just forgot they did that and this is all a coincidence and has no relation to Byler.

Well, this is all so relevant in my opinion, thanks to Finn letting us allllll know that he very much remembers this part of the code specifically (he was asked about the whole code and got like, loads of other questions wrong).

I get so confused when I see people saying that this is a fucking REACH and that we shouldn't use it as evidence. Like,,,, this is probably one of the most comprehensive sets of evidence ever. The only think holding it back is the fact that people just refuse to see these as anything but mere coincidences??? That's insane of you if you think that tbh.

So what does this all mean for Byler Endgame?: This amount of thought and care simply does not go into foreshadowing a couple like this who do not then go onto become endgame. I can't imagine doing all this effort then letting Mike stay with the person who he has not been colour matched with in a literal CODE spanning two seasons. Season 4 definitely canonised this theory, and I think that's why in Season 5, Mike and Will do not wear as much blue or yellow. Season 4 was the thing being foreshadowed in Season 3, not the whole end of the show. The reason I think this code implies byler endgame is simply because this much effort does not get put in for any of the canon couples either like???

#byler #byler nation #mike wheeler #will byers #byler endgame #stranger things #byler evidence #byler proof #miwiheroes daily byler

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batsplat · 9 months ago

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like the motogp unlimited moment where joan is kinda terrified of him and marc looks like he's trying to figure out whether he can muster the energy to eat him

😂😂😂😂😂😂

This one is going to carry me through the day. Picturing cat marc contemplating with his tail swishing if he wants to raise his paw and squish this thing or go back to nap.

(extremely belated follow up to this)

referring to this clip from motogp unlimited, on the off chance anyone hasn't seen that masterpiece yet - in which we get to see mir on camera criticising marc for his towing addiction, mir panicking about the media reporting how he criticised marc for his towing addiction, and then mir telling first the honda guys and then marc himself how the media had made up that he had criticised marc for his towing addiction

say what you will about that show, but this clip is just absolute perfection. it has been living rent free in my head from the first time I saw it. the editing is on point... how it completely stitches up joan with the juxtaposition between him literally criticising marc and him insisting he totally hadn't been criticising marc... the way it cuts to a random clip of marc entering a building with the air of a trigger happy warlord, as if he's about to order joan's execution... joan talking to the honda guy - the "you'd better say to his face" line, mir visibly deeply unhappy at this response... hard cut to mir's tremulous explanation to marc. mir's gaze wandering somewhere bottom right while marc is serving full cannibal realness and is staring right at mir with a wide grin and dead eyes. the painfully obvious relief on mir's face when marc accepts his explanation. if you told me marc was sky high on painkillers during this whole conversation, I would not question it for a moment

this is not a grin I would want levelled at me. it's the kind of grin where I'd start worrying if I might find myself chopped up in pieces in the other guy's freezer in the immediate future. at this point in his life and his career, marc had bigger things to worry about than being criticised for something he had been repeatedly criticised for already and would be criticised for again countless times. this whole episode does matter in the vague sense that mir was the defending world champion who had replaced marc, but realistically it's just not the sort of thing marc will have spent more than two minutes thinking about. which was really mir's best hope - that marc simply could not be bothered to make space in the freezer for him

I compared this moment in the mind games post to casey suffering a mild case of headloss because he thought valentino had deliberately hidden his tyre compound from the competition (bridgestone had run out of paint) - and there is something to how your reputation for mind games can become so strong that eventually you don't really have to be doing any work because your competition will freak anyway. marc isn't actually doing anything in this clip... he's just vibing. admittedly he's doing so in that uncanny valley ever so slightly inhuman way he has about him, like he's currently hashing out the logistics of sauteing your liver, but he is just vibing

#my ask response rate is genuinely atrocious i'm SORRY #it's just gotten to a critical mass where working through the inbox/drafts is a somewhat daunting prospect #either it takes three days or three months i fear #//#brr brr #batsplat responds #//currt #yoro #conventionally attractive marc completely rolls off me #but inhuman horror movie marc who looks like a local demon animating a shop window mannequin? oh yeah that's the stuff

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reveriefluttering · 1 month ago

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fiction vs. reality: irl puella magi edition.

note: my experience is NOT the end-all be-all! all puella magi have different experiences and i'm simply sharing mine! my practice as a puella magi is a mix of astral and physical work. thank you for understanding!

fiction: once you make your contract with kyubey, you're stuck as a puella magi forever.

reality: while you can be a puella magi forever, you also have the option to annul your contract. however, if you annul your contract, the results of your wish and anything that happened because of your wish may not even exist anymore. in my experience, the results of my past wishes and temporary contracts have become more like very fuzzy memories, like a dream, while other people have completely forgotten those events.

fiction: becoming a witch is inevitable, if you aren't killed by a witch.

reality: while this can happen, this is in VERY extreme cases. in my experiences, most witches are manifestations of despair that completely branch off of their "host's" emotions. this can come from a puella magi or a normal human; usually, if it's from a puella magi, it will be formed with a grief seed made from a fragment of the puella magi's soul gem. if it's from a normal human, it will start as a familiar and gradually develop a grief seed and become a full-fledged witch.

as for being killed by a witch, you can become very magically drained (as well as emotionally and physically drained) if a witch attacks you and makes impact with your soul gem, but death directly at the hands of a witch is also incredibly rare.

fiction: incubators are entirely evil.

reality: even if you look at the source media, incubators don't really have morals. however, as a puella magi becoming a witch is very rare, thus energy would be very difficult to harvest, they aren't as exploitative as they are in the source media. in real life, the purpose of the cycle to advance the progress of humanity- a point that is made in the source media, but is much more prominent in my experience, as progress would require the protection of humanity (from despair and witches).

fiction: your body will die if you are separated from your soul gem.

reality: you will be unable to use your magic, you will be unable to detect witches and familiars and labyrinths, and you may dissociate albeit very mildly. however, you won't experience any adverse effects from not having your soul gem on you 24/7. if you have misplaced it and cannot find it at all, you can summon your soul back to you and move it to another object to act as your soul gem.

fiction: your soul gem must be a gemstone-adjacent object, i.e. jewelry or an actual replica of a soul gem.

reality: your soul gem can be literally anything! your wallet, your name tag, your phone, a plush, a favorite accessory. it doesn't even have to be related to the source media. as long as it's not a disposable product (which i personally don't recommend), you should be able to use it as a soul gem.

fiction: "____ is the only way to be a REAL puella magi!"

reality: the experience of a puella magi is a very diverse one. some puella magi only do pop culture witchcraft, some only do physical magi work, some only do astral work, and some do a mix of any of these concepts, or something else entirely. there is no right or wrong way to be a puella magi. no one's experience is going to be the exact same.

let me know if there's anything i should add! asks are open!

𓂃 yours, felice.

#irl magical girl #irl puella magi #mahoublr

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pruneunfair · 5 months ago

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Also if you don't mind asking, what is the villainess) female antagonists like rashta, Marianne, Cosette, Yvonne, Freya, Diana, Soleia, etc animal pets will fit in them?

sorry this took so long to answer. Your question was actually put on a list for questions to turn into full on posts and it unfortunately got delayed, I'm sorry for the hassle.

A lamb for the innocence she once had before the palace ruined her. After she was corrupted I imagine the lamb would become more rabid in order to protect itself.

I don't think Rhyse knows bread is actually bad for ducks and would keep feeding them it anyway.

There's a lot of bird symbolism already in COBYB but this image I found low key fits Claudine the best given how she is stuck as only a wife and it could also symbolize her more self centered behaviors.

One of those really prissy cats that don't listen to what you ask of them. The type you spoil and they won't even sit on your lap unless it's on their own time.

All I knew was is that it had to be a snake. No other explanation, girl just loves her snakes.

This dog except it's covered in extra accessories and put in a purse to be taken everywhere regardless of any no dogs allowed rules because Sumin is honestly a menace who would claim her purse dog is a service dog. (Not sure if Sumin should have access to pets 😅)

Have you ever heard of chronic wasting disease? The deer is an unfortunate victim of the disease which is slowly killing it and I think it symbolizes Yvonne well knowing she's basically a walking corpse.

This is a skin walker. According to the Navajo, they are malevolent witches who have the ability to dawn the appearance of whatever animal they choose. Thought it suited Ragibach pretending to be Cosette in the creepiest way possible.

Shes petting one in the picture so why not, plus she's described as attracting animals to her so I just imagine Charlotte with Disney princess aura to attract all sorts of woodland creatures.

Any kind of creepy looking bird would fit Marianne tbh. Ravens though just naturally give off the most energy for eerieness.

I haven't been giving Mia any attention cause I kept forgetting about her. Frankly, she looks like the type to like bunnies.

probably can be used for most white lotus characters but dolphins are the best match for Isabella considering how evil dolphins actually are and Isabella is a villianess who legit has no excuse to be the way she is, no sad backstory, no possession, she simply came out the womb a hater

Chihuahuas are often thought to be aggressive always which there can be but with enough love, help and understanding they become the sweetest babies known to man.

Chaotic ass dog for one of most chaotic looking but also kinda stupid villainesses.

Again, no real reason, all I know is that I would give Aisha a deer.

EDIT: accidently reblogged this post twice. Whoops

#the remarried empress #cry or better yet beg #sister i am the queen in this life #actually i was the real one #i will divorce my tyrant husband #today the villainess has fun again #into the light once again #The villainess maker #not your typical reincarnation story #the perks of being a villainess #villains are destined to die #death is the only ending for a villainess #marry my husband #seducing the villains father #how to get my husband on my side #webtoon #manhwa #animals #anon ask

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obsolete-stars-if · 7 months ago

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Hello my beloved readers. It seems that I am at an impasse. So let's be real.

I am considering porting to twine. Why? The biggest point for me is surprisingly not any weird drama or suspicious activity. No no no. It's pricing. The main thing is that I don't want to earn money from this, I don't want people to pay money to play this.

While I can suggest a pricing, in the end it is out of my hands, and I am very firm on the free to play part. And I mean that, no weird ads, no refills, no paid shit. The entire experience for free.

So porting to twine seems, morally at least, the only way to actually publish the game in its entirety. However, when said port happens is another question that I want to ask for y'all's input. We certainly have some options:

Finish the Update, which at best will take me at least another month or two. I am about halfway through one of the split paths by now, I could write the update, publish it in CS, and then start the port.

Just do to the port, it would mean that the update is postponed until the entire game is ported into twine. I have no idea how long that would take. After publishing the port, not updated, I could get to the actual update.

Port and Rewrite, perhaps the longest option, and frankly what I think would make most sense quality wise- I port the game, and at the same time work on it, editing, rewriting parts, cleaning code like no one else. However that might take a very long time, I don't know how quick I'll be at coding, and editing can take a ridiculous amount of time too, esp BCS there are a lot of things to fix.

Do half the update, I'm being honest when the pricing issue came up, I was super demotivated. And while I still work on the update in CS, I can, technically speaking, simply finish the split path, update it, and then do the port, so I am not wasting more energy on the entire update only to have to recode it. I know everyone has been waiting for the Update and it personally feels like I am taking forever.

Continuing with CG/HG is not an option if I can't decide to offer the game for free in the end.

Mind you, regardless of the outcome of the Poll, it's my decision in the end. I do want to check in with what everyone would prefer, and I honestly only gave options I decided I would be willing to do.

Thanks for reading, participating, and being patient.

#obsolete stars #obsolete stars if #twine port #twine game #if game #hosted games #interest check

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hectorthedoggo · 1 year ago

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aight i really don't feel like editing today so i'm just gonna give the unedited enyu thing for y'all :)

Tw: horror imagery

The warden took a swig from their glass of water, and turned their eyes back to their work, ignoring the slightly throbbing headache. It doesn’t matter.

Last time we went to get our daily check-up, Shidou told us to sleep, as we hadn’t slept in… a day? Yeah, that was a day ago. Hm… I don’t think that’s healthy. That was, what, yesterday? Hm…

They had whittled the two days away, only going for occasional breaks; they had requested more work, so they could be kept busy.

They had tried to sleep once in that period of time, and that hadn’t ended well.

Their rest probably lasted around 10 minutes, before they were promptly woken up by a nightmare. No way we should let that happen.

Jackalope didn’t seem opposed to the idea, as it would let him have less work. It was a win-win situation, because the more work they had, the less thinking they had to do.

However, the urge for sleep was pulling on them desperately. They didn’t remember the last time they sleep.

I suppose that I must, lest I randomly pass out. Again.

They sat up from the couch, setting their clipboard next to them.

They walked robotically to the bed, sloppily getting ready for bed and tucking themself under the sheets.

They decidedly didn’t look at the mirror while doing that, of course. We’re not an idiot.

They closed their eyes, but didn’t immediately fall asleep. It was ironic that they would be so tired yet not able to go to sleep.

They attempted sleep anyway.

That was idiotic of them.

After an indeterminable amount of time, they opened their eyes in their darkened room.

A feeling they were being watched clutched at their throat. No, that’s silly. Who would do that? Besides, we locked the door. There’s nobody in here, I’m- we’re just being paranoid.

However, out of some sort of twisted curiosity, they moved their eyes away from the ceiling..

A large black shape was in the middle of the room, slightly swaying.

They tried to get up, but couldn’t. Their body was immobilized by something. That shape wasn’t there before, oh god-

It started to float towards them, and it felt like their point of view shifted up. It slowly inched across the ground, two hanging limbs dragging across the ground.

Those are… those are feet, right?

They looked up, and a chunk of tangled golden-brown hair came from the head of the entity. It came to their bedside, and towered over them in the bed.

A cold sweat ran down their face, and they started to shiver. What? That’s-

Mahiru giggled, and they heard it. It was real.

But, she’s not alive, there’s no way this could be real.

Her hanging body resembled that of her boyfriends; an image subconsciously gifted to them by her MV.

A pale, ghostly hand reached toward their face, brushing their cheek. It felt so, so real.

They looked around the room, trying to find any way out, and ‘she’ started to hum her song. But, it was distorted, off key, and they started to try to cry.

It was a combination of fear and grief, but they couldn’t sob. They could never let it out, simply shaking and feeling the soft whisper of skin against their cheek.

Eventually, the sensation of the hand faded, and they woke with a start.

The first thing they did was scamper from under the bedsheet, as if it was the perpetrators of their distress.

They clutched their knees, and started to weakly sob. They didn’t have the energy or hydration, but they did have the raw emotion.

Oh god, and she seemed happy. That version of Mahiru was happy.

Right before she died, she was injured, and unhappy. She was faking happiness. I put her in such a state that she wanted this release. It’s my fault.

They clutched a pillow, and it simply deflated. I- I can’t do this anymore, but I can’t die.

I’m not going back to sleep. I’m not going back to sleep. I don’t want to see her again.

It’s all my fault.

It was dead quiet, excluding their own pathetic noises of fear and grief. They were so, so tired, but couldn’t go back to sleep.

They stared at some of the unfinished paperwork on the table. I’m having trouble thinking right now, but if I go back to sleep…

They let out another weak sob. I really don’t want to work… We’ve done that all day. But we should, shouldn’t we? It would take the pain away.

They kept clutching onto the pillow, but started to reassure themself of their authority, that it was all going to be okay, but it didn’t work.

The fear that Mahiru would pop up again, the monster would stare at them, remind them of their guilt. Why do I even see her as a monster? That’s horrible.

She just wanted to love people, and look at what we did to her.

The warden heard light footsteps, and hoped that whoever it was would open the door, check on them.

However, that hope was mixed with fear. But, we can’t let people see us like this. I-

They couldn’t repress their tears; not when there were so many. But, they did try to quiet them the best they could. It didn’t work; the attempt was half-hearted.

It was like a cry for help.

The footsteps stopped in front of their door.

Please. Please. But, they couldn’t directly admit it to themself.

They were relieved when they heard a knock on the door, and soon, an inquisitive head popped in. It’s Kotoko.

She’s going to see me like this. I’m not sure how to feel about this.

This is shameful. We can’t be doing this?

But, what do we have to lose? It feels like we won’t survive this any longer. We can’t.

That shut the warden up.

Will she protect me? She’s good with that, but my verdict’s ruined it all, as always.

She slowly stepped closer to them, but they didn’t protest. They were like an injured animal, though untrusting, had to rely on whoever’s around, no matter how they felt about that person.

They were somewhere else, staring at the spot where Mahiru appeared. Will she appear now? Kotoko will abandon me. Maybe she’s just here to admonish me or something.

I would deserve that. But, can the monster appear if she’s here? Am I at least slightly safer in her presence?

She approached their shaking form.

“How does this keep happening to you? Es, you should understand that you can’t keep this up.”

They shook their head, weak voice punctured by their gasping sobs, “But… Mahiru… she’ll come if I… if we try to… I can’t, I-”

The warden decided to stop their speaking before they revealed more weakness.

Kotoko stood over their curled-up, vulnerable form, eyes widened in a mix of anxiety and despair. The walls started to grow eyes, and they further curled into themself. “She, she’s, they’re all…”

Their cries came to be unapologetically louder than necessary, but she still didn’t save them.

Eventually, she overcame some of her own mental barriers, and scraped them off of their place of terror, up into her arms.

It was almost too easy, and they relaxed. She’ll protect me better than we can protect ourself.

She looked down on them. “Why did you do that?”

They passively looked at nothing, cries quieted now that they were safe. “We… we had to work.”

“That’s not helping anything, or anyone. You won’t be rational enough to decide life-changing verdicts. Idiot…”

Es looked ahead, at the eyes that watched them in the walls.

“If we do the work, the more time we do it the better. I don’t have to feel anything when I’m working. Besides, I’m not… I’m not the one that chooses the verdicts, anyways. We-, no, I don’t matter.” Their speech and filter were slurred on their tiredness.

Sleep started to overtake them. I don’t care if this is Kotoko, I’d rather pass out here than on the floor.

She tried to lightly shake them awake, but it was futile. “Wait, the verdicts what?”

They lost consciousness, finally not worrying about working.

I guess she knows now.

I’m not sure how we’re supposed to feel about that.

When the warden woke up, they were, of course, back in Shidou’s room. Why do we keep ending up here? This is bothersome, and-

They tried to get up, hazily registering their surroundings, but was stopped. They scowled at the offender, Kotoko, again.

She pushed them, slightly roughly, back down. They tried to resist, but she held them still.

“Es, stop that. You’re only going to hurt yourself more.”

They kept their angry face on, but blocked the light from reaching their tired eyes. This is humiliating. Why is she treating me like a child that can’t take care of themself?

We’re perfectly fine.

Another voice, Shidou Kirisaki, chimed in from the background. His voice sounded a little choked up. “You’re really worrying us, Es. I- please stop doing this.”

Why would they be worried? “Why?”

“Why, what?” Kotoko’s stricter tone of voice.

“Why do you even care? What we do is none of your business. Again, I’m the warden, you’re the prisoners, there’s no reason for this irrational behavior.”

That left the adults in silence, and they let their pounding head adjust to the light the best it could.

They stared over at the two adults, who seemed like an unlikely duo. Didn’t they hate each other last time we checked?

Well, I suppose the verdicts might have changed things. Maybe Kotoko has lost her big ego, good.

Kotoko looked like a mess, her usual hair slightly out of place, and restraints all messed up. Shidou, despite his innocent verdict, looked even more pathetic.

His eyes were puffy from crying, something the warden hadn’t seen much of, other than that one time. Ah, those tears are for Mahiru. That’s right.

The air was thick with tension. Shidou broke the silence. “Es, we care about you.”

That is an outright lie. Does he really care about ‘me’? Or his kids. “No, you don’t. Why would you? All I do is boss you around.”

Kotoko sighed. “Es. Listen. I understand where you’re coming from; I used to be like this, but it didn’t work out for me, you should know.

I wouldn’t want to lose you as a warden, despite- no, um, you’re an adequate warden. Your faith for your… cause, is admirable. I… I guess I don’t want to lose you.”

It must have taken a lot out of her to say that. Some of that seemed genuine, but…

The warden flicked their eyes over her vulnerable self, trying to justify her actions. Wait… The girl in her MV… Ah! I get it now. She just sees me as a weakling, a damsel in distress, out of her childish belief. That’s why she’s caring about me.

To her, we’re something to protect, out of a complex to make her feel better about herself. There’s no way she’d actually care for us. We can’t listen to her and feel vulnerable.

We were so pathetic last night. “I’m not falling for such a fragile pretense, Kotoko. You just see me like a weakling, like that girl, Keiko, was it? You’re no different than that man.”

They pointed at Shidou, who stared at them with a little heartbreak in his unc

This got straight to her heart, and she clenched her fist. “Stop that. That doesn’t matter. Caring about you aside, what about caring about your integrity as warden?”

This caught them off guard, as she brought up their own vulnerability, ignoring them. She’s bringing up the warden thing now. Are we going to survive this without having a mental breakdown?

That didn’t happen last time.

Yes, yes, we got this. Just ignore her words.

“You can’t be a good warden if you keep passing out like that. Even I slept when I was on the hunt; and I wasn’t the epitome of health. Shidou, you’re the health expert here.”

He cleared his throat. Are we just going to get scolded like this? “Alright, you’re 15, right?”

No response. Shidou continued on anyways. “I know full well you haven’t gotten nearly enough sleep in a while. Adults, yes, adults, can barely function on the amount of sleep you’ve been getting. And, you’re not even an adult.”

He shook his head, sighing. “You’ll do your work much faster on the highly recommended 8-10 hours.”

The warden detested this feeling, of being held down for something they knew full well was their fault, so they tried to avoid it. “I-”

Kotoko came to their defense, but also interrupted them, “In their defense… I don’t think their lack of sleep was fully their fault.”

Shidou turned to her, like a parent getting his authority questioned.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure you were having nightmares, right?” Her tone was almost accusatory. This woman…

They stared between her and Shidou, classifying her as ‘insufferable’, the category in which Shidou and Amane already had an annual membership to.

Shidou’s anger melted, which was way worse than his previous anger. “Right… don’t you have to watch murder happen in front of your eyes? I mean, that would be nightmare material for anyone…”

The warden had no sensible defense for that, so they simply sat up while Kotoko was too off-guard to push them down and bunched themself together. “I don’t think that that’s any of your concern.”

“If that’s affecting your sleep quality, a small dose of sleep medication will really help, but… No, I suppose that the situation calls for it.”

I- no, we can’t accept anything non-essential from this man.

We’re losing ourself. We really need to get more sleep, but…

This is self-contradictory. How are we going to get out of this one?

The stress of the situation was unmanageable. But, I can’t rely on anyone. But, I’ll have to rely on someone if I can’t sleep.

Okay, but we can’t cry, too. It’s just what we have to do.

This is so stressful.

They teared up, despite their best wishes. We- I can’t do this anymore.

They started to sniffle, but couldn’t exactly stop their tears. They’re going to see us during the interrogation, and this is all they’re going to think about.

We’re so pathetic, Milgram should just replace-

No, no, what am I thinking? I- we can’t do any of that. We can’t think like that. We are no use to Milgram dead.

Surely if Milgram didn’t want us, they could just get rid of us. Like they did Mahiru’s body.

Her body was never in the garbage, so where else could she have gone.

So, Milgram must care somewhat for me. We’re useful.

No reason to be crying. We’re alright.

Shidou reached out to them, trying to pat them on the shoulder, and they slapped it, as harshly as it could. “Get away from us.”

The cycle restarted.

But, they couldn’t exactly leave. So, they simply hissed threats under their breath, to try their best to get the two interferences away from them.

They’re the causes of this inept weakness.

Kotoko sighed. “Jeez. Listen, we’re not going anywhere, and you can’t even do any lasting damage to us; calm down.” A little bit of bitterness slipped into her voice.

Shidou shook his head, trying to gently approach them, to wipe their tears. They hit him away, truly set off.

Their eyes drooped, but they forced them open. We’re in danger right now. These are murderers.

Though, they did know, deep down, we’re the only danger here, to ourself.

“Es, please, we can’t keep doing this.”

I’m the warden. We’re the warden. We’re the warden. “We’re the warden.” It was a hoarse whisper.

“Christ, they’re insane.” Kotoko looked mildly horrified. “This isn’t Es, isn’t it?”

The two adults stood on opposite sides of their bed, within hitting range, but their reactions were delayed.

The walls began to grow eyes, due to their sleep deprivation. They stared back, as if challenging the audience to question their authority.

The eyes started to close. They’re scared of me, aren’t they? They don’t like me, don’t they?

Will they stop watching now? If they don’t like us, we’ll be rejected as well.

Are we interesting? Are we good entertainment?

That’s our purpose, as the prison warden of Milgram.

They shoved and beat down their last shards of discontentment.

a/n: they literally can’t act tough anymore they’re so sleep deprived 💀#get this kid some therapy that’s not two adults with savior complexes PLEASE-

(@kani-miso)

#to edit later #; ; i really don't wanna eddiittt... but i gotta post this on ao3... grammarly... save me grammarly...

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