#I tried to keep it concise and very open

[ailithnight]

DPxDC Prompt/Idea #11

Danny Damian Twin AU where the reason Danny isn't with the League anymore is because Ra's sold him to a "Pit Demon" for some power or artifact or even just a small amount of "pure Lazarus Waters".

[soulshaped]

let me get what i want this time

remus lupin x reader | friends to lovers, hurt/comfort, slow burn

a/n: please, please, please let me get what i want by the smiths will never ever fail to remind me of remus. i was going to make this one part, but i got carried away… there will be more parts i promise!!! this is year 1 

part two

wc: 5.1k

The moon taunts him from where it rests so very far, far away. It is the picture of serenity against the dark night sky and it seems to him as if even the surrounding stars kneel to its great light, head bowed, praying.

Son of the moon, obey me, let go and give in, give in to the wolf, just for the night

The voice is clear, booming and omnipresent, and Remus knows he can not escape it. But still, he is just a boy. He hasn’t received his letter from Hogwarts yet, and he does not know if he ever will. His bones begin to break, over and over again. The skin of his back tears, opening and closing to reshape itself over his growing form. He writhes on the cold, wet cellar floor until the transition becomes just bearable enough for him to roll to a stand, unsteadily. His teeth sharpen, his eyes darken under the moonlight. He is in complete agony, he is alone, and he is just a boy in the body of a wolf. 

The next thing he remembers is the sun kissing the horizon at dawn, waking up gently, like him. The lightened sky is just bright enough for Remus to see the silhouette of his fingers without squinting, confirming that he has the hands of a boy once again. It would be brighter if it wasn’t for being in Wales, if it wasn’t for the days of unbroken clouds above him. He’s not particularly sure where in Wales they are by now, having moved around so often and so quickly for as long as he can recall. Even his earliest memories are of packed bags, rushed whispers, night drives. Loving fingers wound tightly around his little wrists, pulling him deeper and deeper into the mountains. Away from his little home on the coast with the bushels of wildflowers and tall grass he yearned to play in. He wanted to stay there, he wishes he could’ve stayed forever, but it’s far behind him now. 

His father should be coming to free him soon enough. There are heavy metal bars on the windows above him, though Lyall’s magic was doing most of the work to keep the wolf’s chaos contained within the basement walls. Remus knows that he does not mean to be cruel – that his parents are only out of options, not of love. They tried for years and years to find a cure, or even temporary escape from the monster always lying dormant inside of him. The healers had nothing to add to the limited knowledge they had already acquired from ancient books, they knew nothing at all. So Remus knows his parents have only ever wanted what is best for him. But the cellar is cold and damp, his head is pounding incessantly and he yearns for laughter, he yearns for the house by the coast. He prays to a God that he’s sure doesn’t exist. 

Dumbledoor shows up at his doorstep a few moons later. He enters through the front door, blown like a great wind. Lyall and Hope greet him politely, but Remus can see the shock hidden beneath their calm demeanor. He can see how Lyall’s hands have a mild quake as it meets Dumbledoor’s calm, warm palm. Remus shivers too, in hope of a new life. He stands behind his father, but the older man spots him quickly and slips him a small grin. It was nearly imperceptible and it felt like a gift. The tea is still warm when Dumbledoor stands to leave. The meeting was short and concise. Remus would be attending Hogwarts come next September. The life he longed for suddenly seemed close enough to taste.

Fall comes faster that year. Just as the tips of tree branches begin to shine in a golden hue, Remus stands on a train platform surrounded by more people he’s ever seen. He finds his only comfort in his father’s warm, steady hand resting on his shoulder. The train conductor blows the horn in final warning and Remus turns to find his mother holding back tears. He can’t seem to find the right words to say. 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Oh, darling, don’t ever be,” Hope kneels down to meet his anxious eyes before continuing, “we only want what’s best for you.”

She picks up his case, pulls his nimble fingers over the handle and covers her hand over his in a quiet, gentle embrace.

“Hogwarts is waiting for you, Remus.” 

He smiles toothily and bids them a farewell, promising to owl as soon as he can. He braces himself as much as possible before stepping onto the train and is immediately overwhelmed by the flurry of fellow students rushing about the corridors, presumably searching for their friends. Luckily, he quickly finds an empty train cart. 

At least what he believes is an empty train cart.

In the very moment he sets his case down, a boy with brunette hair and crooked wire glasses pops his head out of what seems like thin air beside him. His head is excitedly floating about as his body (Remus hopes exists) is still invisible to the eye. 

“Hiya! I’m James Potter!”

“Um… wha-”

“Oh! Sorry mate, I was hiding from my friend, Peter. I really wanted to scare the trousers off of ‘im.”

James’ body is instantaneously visible as he grips a glimmering blanket in his hand. He bundles it up to rest as a messy lump in the space between them. 

“So… what’s your name?”

Remus opens his mouth to answer when he’s ambushed once again. This time, by a very flustered, freckled boy out of breath.

“James,” he squeaks in relief, “there you are, I’ve been looking for you all over this train!”

Remus assumes this must be the Peter that James was referring to. He looks towards Remus with a curious gaze, as if he was nervously sizing him up. It confused Remus greatly, as he didn’t really see himself as threatening, but maybe it was the scars. No one has ever really seen them, outside of his family and himself, so he couldn’t exactly predict a stranger’s reaction to them. He feels the heat traveling rapidly to his cheeks and turns his eyes to the floor. He can almost hear the wolf laughing at his own timidness. 

“Well, I was trying to scare you, but he found me first!”

“Who’s this?” 

“He was about to tell me before you rudely interrupted us, Pete,” James says without a hint of malice.

Remus looks up to be faced with widely different expressions. While Peter’s eyes are slightly narrowed, James’ eyes are wide and enthusiastic, paired with the widest smile he’s ever seen. It’s infectious and he can’t help but smile back. 

“I’m Remus. Remus Lupin.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Lupin.”

“Hey! Who are you lot?”

Another head pops into the compartment, which seemed to be growing smaller and smaller by the second. Remus sees the long, black hair first, before a very clean, cut boy with striking grey eyes comes into focus. 

“I’m James Potter, that’s Peter, and that’s Remus. And now, you’re caught up!”

“My family hates yours,” the stranger declares confidently as he pushes in the rest of the way, “it’s perfect.” 

He plops down across from Remus and next to Peter in a great huff. 

“I’m Sirius Black. Anyone want a chocolate frog? I’ve bought about a million to just peeve off my mother.”

Peter jumps in excitement as Sirius empties an entire sack solely dedicated to chocolate frogs. Remus' stomach rumbles with anticipation, it was going to be a very eventful year it seemed. 

The journey passes too quickly, Remus thought, even quicker with the company. As the train pulls into the station, Remus can just make out the aged stone walls on the very top of Hogwarts’ pointed towers. As the carriages pull them closer and closer to the castle, Remus feels a pull of anticipation from the growing pit in his stomach. He knew what was to come in the Great Hall; the Sorting Ceremony had terrified him for weeks, ever since Dumbledoor paid him a visit in Wales. 

He knew Lyall was sorted into Ravenclaw when he attended Hogwarts, a house known by all of the wizarding world for their daring intelligence and wisdom. What if he was sorted into a different house, what would his father think? What if he was sorted into Slytherin? He had felt the harsh disdain and fear in Sirius’ gaze when Slytherin was brought up as a possibility, as if the entire house was a stain on Hogwarts itself. Remus swore he was going to be sick at this rate, maybe he could miss the ceremony entirely and be unsorted. 

Two girls and a boy with long black hair sat across from him and the boys in the Great Hall. His hair was much shorter than Sirius’, and it was cut bluntly, adding a harsh sharpness to his frown. One of the girls had red hair that flowed gracefully down past her shoulders that were bouncing in excitement. The other was more distracted, her nose buried in a muggle book he’d heard of once or twice before. She had an incredibly peaceful smile, in such great contrast to the other boy that it was almost amusing. The more Remus looked at her, the more at peace he felt – all of the noise in the Hall dimmed around him in the nearness of her calm demeanor, a needed break. He looked away immediately when she turned up to meet his unintentional stare, red flushing across his pale skin. But when he peeked at her again from the corner of his eye, he saw that she was turned towards the front of the room now with the same, kind and knowing upturned lips. 

To his relief and (equally as intense) shock, Remus was sorted into Gryffindor. All four boys now sit under the great red and gold banners together. James’ is unable to contain his proud exclamations at all of them, seemingly getting more obnoxious and simultaneously admirable by the second, while Sirius’ head seems to be forever hidden in his arms as he softly bangs his head into the wood he rests on. 

“I’m as dead as dead can be,” Sirius groans into the table, “Walburga is going to hex me into the next century.” 

James smacks a hand on his back, but leaves it resting there, gently. 

“It’ll be alright mate, we’ll be right there with you, together! We’re Gryffindors now! All of us! There’s nothing we can’t do, we’re unstoppable!” 

His energy was undeniably infectious, even pulling a smile out of Sirius who lifted his head to rest his chin on his hands instead. 

“Potter, we get it! Enough, please, for the love of Godric, just let us all eat in peace for a moment,” the red head, Lily, exclaims from a few seats away. 

The other girl, (Y/N), bursts out laughing with her head thrown backwards. 

“Girls… who even decided to invite them anyway…” James mumbles, only ever so slightly disheartened by Lily’s scolding. 

Remus smiles so hard, he finds his cheeks hurting from the tension. He hopes this feeling lasts forever.  

-

The fall of his first year passes in a blur. Sirius’ birthday is the height of the season, with all four boys deciding to pull their first grand prank in celebration. Though Professor McGonagall did not seem to appreciate the exploding toilets as much as Sirius did. 

Moons are just as difficult, even with Madam Pomfrey’s much needed aid, but Remus finds the break from his friends and schoolwork make his returns to normalcy more exciting than he could’ve ever imagined. It’s everything that he yearned for, and yet he’s still awaiting the inevitable fall of the curtain. To reveal what he’s secretly always believed, that this great life was never made for him, that there has been a grave error in placing him, of all people, in the midst of all of this incredible joy. He’ll wake up, one day, and the fantasy will cease to exist. It would be much more believable than his current reality. 

It doesn’t help that so much of what his friends know is a complete fabrication, but it does help that he is the only one constantly worrying about the entanglement of his own lies. No one, to his knowledge, has come to suspect anything, yet. Remus thinks that this may still be due to the distracting excitement of their first year practicing unbelievable magic, but he’ll never be one to kick a gifted horse in the mouth, however temporary. 

He tries to push aside these incessant thoughts and draw his attention back to his work scattered across the table before him. The library is eerily quiet as the evening draws to a close, but he welcomes the silence wholeheartedly. The joints in his knee continue to seer with pain with every wrong step, a result of the most recent moon, but he finds that the complete stillness of the library at this hour helps.

Suddenly, a loud crash sounds a few feet away and Remus jumps. In the same moment, a girl yelps.

“Shoot!”

Remus hurriedly glances around him to find you picking up a concerningly tall pile of books. He can barely see your face behind them. As he starts to arise from his seat to help, pain shoots so far up from his knee he can practically feel it in his throat. He sits back down quickly. 

You manage to balance the pile on the corner of the long table and stand back in a huff. Your eyes meet his own in shock.

“Oh! Remus, hi!”

“Hi, (Y/N). That’s a lot of books.”

“Tell me about it, I don’t know what I was thinking, really, taking out so many,” you sigh.

“Couldn’t help yourself, I suppose?”

“Seems like it, huh?”

For the most part, the first year boys in Hogwarts seem to be in a constant state of annoyance towards all girls, any girl. Godric knows Lily and James have been bickering non-stop since the Sorting Ceremony. 

But, Remus likes you enough, he thinks. You’re really nice to him and you laugh at almost anything. It makes him want to laugh and he isn’t used to it, it’s never come as easy to him as it does to you. He would never see peace again if he ever admitted his real thoughts to the boys, though. They would definitely think of it as a clear betrayal of everything they stand for – girls are the worst. 

“Sorry for the ruckus, by the way, you seemed to be really focused.” 

“It’s alright, wasn’t really doing much anyway.” 

“Well, in that case.”

You plop down into the seat across from him and immediately take the first book perched on the very top of your mountainous pile. He looks at you questioningly. 

“At least one of us should do something productive in this silent library.” 

So the two of you sit peacefully, on opposite sides of the table, reading. Remus isn’t sure how long you’re really there for though. The next thing he remembers is waking up and wiping the drool from his chin as Pince looks down at him in reprimand. 

“You have a bed, Lupin, I suggest you use it.” 

Remus clumsily shuffles to a stand and starts to gather his things when he spots a single chocolate frog resting inches away from his quill. There’s a note attached in scratchy writing,

‘Sleepyhead!!!’

A corner of one of his blank parchments is torn off. Remus carries the frog happily in the pocket of his robes as he limps past Filch, grumpily hanging Christmas garland in the halls. 

-

The holiday season rushes towards them in a hurry, carrying with it a new air to the castle. Maybe it is the layers of snow blanketing the surrounding land, barricading students indoors and leaving them to sprawl lazily across common rooms, deep into the night. Maybe it is the anticipation of their well-earned breaks, buzzing like electricity through their tired fingertips as they rushed to complete their final assignments. Or maybe it is, simply, a combination of all of the above, creating a surge of unrealized energy that seeped into the very walls of Hogwarts. Remus can nearly feel it in the soles of his shoes beneath him as he leaves his very last class before break. It seems as though his friends are a victim to this as well, considering he can hear their yells from three corridors down. He finally approaches the group, their noise reaching a peak as he nears, whilst James and Sirius wrap around his and Peter’s shoulders as they lead them back to the Gryffindor tower. Conveniently so, Remus supposes, as he hears several cauldrons explode at once behind them. By the end of dinner, rumors of ruined classrooms and chalkboards signed with utmost sincerity from the Marauders would be the talk of the school.

“The Marauders, huh?”

“I think it’s catchy,” James grins. “Don’t you think so, Remus?”

“Well, it’s definitely the best of the ones we came up with.”

“And it looks even better written down,” Sirius sighs happily. 

Peter squeaks, “For the whole school to see as well!”

Remus awakes earlier than usual the next morning, eager to soak in just enough of Hogwarts to get him through the holidays. The guilt of dreading his return to Wales is overshadowed by the upcoming full moon, the memory of the basement, and the tired eyes of his father that will follow. The reality of his life, despite his best efforts in ignoring it, is waiting for him on the train platform, just a few hours from now. The overcast sky mirrors his darkening mood, but the incessant snoring from the beds beside him inevitably makes him smile. He knows he will desperately miss the feeling of never being alone for long, even if it’s only for the next few weeks. 

As he swings his legs off the edge of his bed to come to a stand, he accidentally knocks something onto the floor. He doesn’t remember leaving anything at the end of his mattress the night before. It’s a bundle, wrapped (horribly so) in festive paper and when he picks it up gently, he finds more of them resting on top of his comforter. 

They’re presents. For him, supposedly, at least according to his name scribbled messily on the tags. 

The most expensive ones, a huge box filled with dozens of chocolate frogs and a brand new quill set, came from James and Sirius, respectively. Peter got him a box of Bertie Bott’s along with a nice note thanking him for his help in classes, wishing him and his family a Merry Christmas. Madame Pomfrey gifted him two small vials, a Pepper-Up potion and a Sleeping Draught, presumably anticipating his moon at the end of the month just as he was. 

There was one more, the only one addressed to him in fancy cursive. It was a muggle book, Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier, wrapped in a big red bow with delicate gold trim. It was in rough shape, clearly used, with small markings in familiar handwriting all over the text. He’d seen you reading it once as he passed you by in the halls, but he didn’t think you’d seen him. There was a note as well, politely wishing him happy holidays with your name written in the same pretty cursive at the bottom. 

“Found your presents did you, Remus?”

Sirius was sitting up from his open four-poster bed across the room, wiping the sleep from his eyes.

“Uh, yeah,” he responds, quickly tucking the book under his covers. 

The curtains from the bed on his left rip open aggressively, revealing James’ wide smile, 

“Well?! Do you like them?”

“Of course! I’m sorry I didn’t–” Remus turns away, unable to stop his cheeks from heating up, but hoping he can still hide them. “I didn’t realize you guys were getting me gifts. I’m sorry I didn’t get you anything yet.”

“Don’t worry, Remus, I’m sure we’ll like whatever you get,” Peter chimes in. 

Before he can respond, Sirius throws a quick glare towards Peter on the other side of the room,

“Remus doesn’t need to get us anything, if he so pleases.”

“We don’t need anything in return, Remus. It was just a little something from us, no biggie, really,” James responds, more sincere than ever before. It was almost unnatural, given his usual joking tone laced into his every word. 

“Thanks,” Remus directs at them before throwing Peter a smile, hoping to quell the much too wounded look on his face, “and I’ll definitely be owling you guys your gifts for Christmas Day.” 

They moved on from the subject quickly then, their stomachs rumbling out for breakfast. Remus reminded himself to carefully pack the book you’d given him in between his cloaks later, just so he was absolutely sure your note wouldn’t get damaged. 

-

For most students, returning to Hogwarts castle in the thick of winter was an unpleasant experience. Even after the constant excitement and adrenaline that comes with the holidays, students quickly descended into restlessness almost as soon as they stepped foot back on the snow-covered land. It wasn’t uncommon to overhear the groans and pleas for spring – the inevitable months of rain that would wash away the snow and bring new life. They were desperate for something brighter, something livelier. 

Luckily for everyone, the Marauders seized all of this pent-up energy with vigor. Winter was officially the season of mischief, and they had a high standard to uphold after their iconic pre-Christmas prank. Remus found himself returning to the dorm after long days in the library only to see Sirius and James whispering and cackling at the foot of his bed more often than not. To their credit, they had various texts splayed open on their laps, though none of them were related to their courses in the slightest. 

Remus, on the other hand, thought his research skills could be applied better elsewhere. He’s already read most of the beginner and elementary books in the library, after all. 

Ever since he found a hidden cubby behind a small tapestry in one of the corridors on the way to Transfiguration (completely by accident, it was Severus’ fault for practically pushing him into it), it was all he could think about. It tugged at his attention constantly – in classes, in the common room, in his dreams. His curiosity for all of the other hidden spots throughout the castle–there must be hundreds in an establishment of this age–could not be quenched, not until he’d found them all, or most of them, at very least. 

James’ invisibility cloak became infinitely useful for his purposes and given the endlessly gracious nature of his personality, he never once asked Remus what he needed it for. Remus would have told him, told all of them actually, if they asked. But they hadn’t yet, so he didn’t mind having a non-wolf related secret to himself. It almost made him feel normal. 

He didn’t need the cloak tonight, though. It was still early and a while before curfew; the sun had just set when Remus finished his work, casting the sky in a mixture of pink and purple hues as he walked along the open hallway past the Transfiguration courtyard. It is getting closer and closer to spring now, and he has been able to push his boundaries of discovery even farther than ever before with the weather on his side. He’s found nooks and crannies all over the castle, so many, in fact, that he’s begun to wonder whether he should draw up a map soon. He’s thinking about this one particular spot tonight, behind a statue of an awfully hunched back lady with one eye, that he’s sure is something… if only he could find just the right spell…

As he turns the corner, Remus stumbles upon the first spot he ever found, behind the tapestry, same as before. Almost mindlessly, he pushes aside the thick, dusty fabric, not knowing what he was expecting to see. He nearly jumps out of his skin when all he can see is a dark mop of hair hunched over onto a dim ball of light. As the thing, whatever it is, turns around, he opens his mouth to scream. For a second, he thinks he is screaming, before he realizes the sound is coming from your mouth instead. 

The gears finally begin to click into motion as his eyes dart from your familiar face (currently looking horrified) to the wand in your hand casting the Lumos charm. In your lap rests a rather large novel that you had snapped closed in your panic – it was The Count of Monte Cristo. 

“What’d you do that for?!”

“Me?” Remus gapes at you. “You! You’re the one curled up creepily behind the tapestry!” 

“Well… leave me to be creepy, then!” You huff. “What are you doing? Sneaking around peeking behind all of the castle’s tapestries?”

“I–I wasn’t… it’s none of your business!”

You narrow your eyes at him as the outer corners of your lips tug upwards slowly, as if directed by a puppeteer with a string. It sends a chill down the length of his spine, and he convinces it’s the residual fear from when he hadn’t known it was you. 

“Alright, then.” You drop your annoyance instantaneously, shrugging your shoulders as if you really can’t be bothered. 

“At least help me out of here, would you, Lupin?” 

He quickly wipes his hands on his robes, just in case, before offering up his palm. Your small hand slips into his with ease as he tugs you lightly up and out of the hole. It’s cold, much colder than his, but he tends to run hot. It feels nice. Once you’re in a standing position, however, you unfortunately take your hand back to rest on top of the book in your arms and Remus isn’t able to relish in the physical touch for as long as he would’ve liked to. 

“Shall we head back, then? It’s almost curfew.” You say distractedly, glancing down at your wristwatch. 

“Sure,” Remus shrugs. 

You don’t ask him again about why he was looking behind the tapestry, and he doesn’t ask you about your choice of reading spots. Thus, the pair of you are left in relative silence, with only your footfalls echoing along the cobblestone walls, in tandem. 

As the Fat Lady portrait accepts the password and swings open, Remus gestures for you to enter first. He quickly follows, stepping into the toasty common room to find you stopped in front of his friends and Lily, lounging on the couch. All of their eyes morph into various different expressions–confusion, suspicion, amusement, a mixture of all of the above. Sirius’ eyes look especially full of mirth, but just as he opens his mouth, Lily kicks him from where she lays on the carpeted floor. You and Remus exchange a quick, confused look, causing Sirius to actually scoff. 

“Well… anyway, bye Lupin.”

Lily walks over and winds her arm around yours, tugging you up the stairwell to the girls’ dormitory. 

Remus sits down in front of the fireplace, facing his best friends, looking down at him questioningly. 

“What?”

“He dares to ask us what?” Sirius guffaws.

“Are you two… friends?” James asks, one eyebrow raised in a slight curve. 

Remus shrugs, “I don’t know… I guess? I’ve only talked to her a few times.”

He doesn’t dare mention your Christmas gift, definitely not now, maybe not ever. 

Sirius frowns, clearly displeased with his response. “You better not replace us with her.”

“Of course not. Girls suck anyway…”

It lacks the confidence Remus was aiming for, but it seems to do the trick. Sirius laughs, James smirks, and Peter nods, all in agreement. They quickly move on to other topics, mainly discussing the upcoming prank they’ve planned. Soon enough, their yawns become more and more frequent and they head to bed. 

Remus finds it hard not to smile as he remembers your angry expression after being scared.

-

Spring comes and goes quickly, and not before long, the sweltering heat of summer becomes almost suffocating. The Shrieking Shack, in particular, is unbearable in the heat. Still, he is dreading his return to Wales. 

At the end of course exams, when all his first year work has finally come to a close, Remus gets a letter delivered directly from Professor McGonagall. The look on her face is unclear as she hands it to him–it doesn’t seem as though it is good news. But surely, if he was being kicked out of Hogwarts, if they decided that the wolf was too much, too dangerous, they would tell him in person and not through a letter. 

He sits on it for much longer than necessary. It’s one of the last nights in the dorm, when all of the other boys have gone to bed with light hearts, he sits with his own in the pit of his stomach. It weighs heavier and heavier with each breath, so he tears open the letter in a blind panic, just to try and rid himself of this feeling. 

His eyes scan over the words as fast as he can, but it’s a short letter and the meaning fails to make any sense. He goes back to the top, reading it slowly this time. It tells him to go directly to St. Mungo’s to meet his parents, as soon as he arrives at King’s Cross Station. It provides some vague instructions on how to get there, before ending with a few explanatory words. 

Please ask the front desk for Hope Lupin’s floor and room number upon arrival.

Remus is many things, but he is not shocked. He is guilty, for feeling so much dread about returning home, all while his own mother was sick and stuck in a hospital, likely wishing to be anywhere else. Maybe, if he hadn’t spent so much time angry at himself, angry at the world, maybe things would be different. Maybe if the wolf never existed, Hope would still be healthy. The stress, after all these years, couldn’t have been good for her health. Remus is many things, but he is not shocked. He was not foolish enough to ever let himself fully believe that he could be happy here, finally get what he wanted. Misery seems to always follow him wherever he goes, even all the way to Hogwarts, and he wonders helplessly if he will ever be free from it.

[narcissistshandler]

giving miguel head while he explains complicated concepts of the multiverse. 😳 at first he chuckles when reader requests this, but he starts to struggle and lose track of what he was talking about. his voice becomes more desperate as he tries to explain all this stuff he knows to reader with his talons gripping at his love’s skull and his voice shaking and melting into pretty breathy moans until he can’t think of what he was talking about and instead fucks reader’s throat til he’s an overstimulated, sobbing mess

𝗧𝗘𝗔𝗖𝗛 𝗠𝗘

✧ 𝖯𝖠𝖨𝖱𝖨𝖭𝖦 gn!reader x miguel o'hara

✧ 𝖶𝖠𝖱𝖭𝖨𝖭𝖦𝖲 blowjob (reader giving), deep throat, slight overstimulation at the end, reader has no gender or genitalia mentioned, a little of blood

✧ 𝖠/𝖭 This was in my drafts for two weeks and honestly I don't remember what/how I wrote half of it, but still, this request was delicious

"—Are you listening to me?"

You blinked, seeming to come back to reality and looked into Miguel's judgmental brown eyes.

"I've been speaking Spanish for the last ten minutes," he continued before you had time to speak.

"I am," you insisted. Your first instinct was to lie. The truth was no, you weren't paying the slightest attention to any of all that complicated science and physics coming out of Miguel's mouth, even though from the beginning your focus hadn't left his lips framing every complex and long word, occasionally rising to appreciate that expression of concentration on his usually serious face that shouldn't be so erotic to anyone but you.

Miguel's eyes fell to your lap, as if he could see through the pillow you were holding, his brow immediately frowning in that way that indicated his bad mood.

"So what is the simple concept of what constitutes a Multiverse?" he questioned, sounding so much like a hot, strict teacher that you felt your sex throb in response, too distracted to even try to think of an answer. "What are the ways to overcome the barriers that separate our world from other universes?" Silence. "What happens when there is a divergence in events? Where does the variety of these universes originate?"

You knew the answer to some of these questions as someone who had heard more than enough about this subject: the multiverse was nothing more than the aggregate of parallel realities and bla bla bla. But that wasn't what Miguel wanted to hear, he wanted concise, long and scientifically coherent answers and that's why you preferred to keep your mouth shut.

"You weren't listening," he concluded with a sigh.

"Keep talking, I'll pay attention this time."

Miguel looked into your darkened eyes, noting the warm innuendo in your tone and then once again, his attention fell to the pillow that covered your lap. "You're excited," he observed, then continued seeming disgusted and irritated: "Why? Physics does that to you?"

“You do this to me,” you said. Miguel's expression seemed to become even darker. "You always seem so focused and intelligent while talking about these things I can't understand, it's sexy."

"You were the one who asked me to teach you, I didn't know this was a fantasy of yours," he pointed out.

"I know, I know, I'm sorry," you asked soflty as you got up from the sofa where you sat next to Miguel and fell to your knees in front of his feet, your hands running up his bare legs until they slid under the hem of his shorts. "Continue teaching me, please? I promise I'll pay attention this time."

Miguel half growled at you, not seeming too willing to indulge in your fantasies even as his legs opened in pure muscle memory to give you room to fit between them and desire flashed in his eyes.

"How are you supposed to pay attention to what I say with my penis in your mouth? That doesn't seem like a very believable teaching method." Even with you kneeling in front of him on the floor of the apartment's living room, Miguel seemed genuinely concerned about teaching you some real knowledge about multiverse.

You rubbed your hand against the bulge in his shorts to bring him to hardness, laughing a little at how genuine Miguel was sometimes.

"You talk, I listen, then you can test me to see if I really learned something or not."

Miguel opened his mouth, looking ready to retort with some argument, but your fingers fitting into the elastic waistband of his shorts was enough to make him swallow back his words. “Okay,” he agreed finally, lifting his hips off the couch to let you pull his shorts down his legs and discard them on the floor.

"Without underwear?" You inquired teasingly, your fingers closing around Miguel's thick cock that was slowly getting hard for you and pulling him into slow, steady thrusts.

Miguel sighed at the sudden touch, a light blush coloring his cheeks at the teasing.

"Back to the beginning," he started to say, ignoring your words. "When we talk about the Multiverse, this refers to a conception of multiple universes or parallel realities existing simultaneously. Together, these universes are presumed to comprise everything that exists: the entirety of space, time, matter, energy..."

Your tongue trailed in a wet line from the base to the head, interrupting Miguel's speech as he trailed off with a soft sigh.

That usual satisfaction made you smile between the licks you dragged along his length, feeling the pulsation of the bulging veins against your tongue, your fingers keeping his dick firm at the base. Your lips parted, gently sucking the side of the bulbous, red head where drops of precum were beginning to leak.

Miguel let out the most beautiful moan, one of his hands falling into your hair.

“Oh,” he sighed softly, voice already falling into that deep tone that always did things to you. You looked up at the same time you slid your tongue over the slit leaking from his cock; Miguel's eyes met yours, warm and shining. He took a deep breath and continued speaking: "In the concept of multiverse, a scheme is imagined in which... all universes aggregate each other across an infinite vastness..."

He looked so composed even with your mouth on his dick and you wanted to break that composure of his until it became nothing, until his mind stopped working and the only coherent thought he had left was fucking your throat.

Miguel doesn't stop talking when your fingers tighten around his length in a grip that borders on painful and your mouth opens so you can take his length. His cock filled your mouth, the warm, smooth skin sliding over your tongue and inward in a delicious, welcome weight that made your skin tingle. Almost instinctively, you searched for more, leaning forward and taking him deeper, your free hand feeling Miguel's thigh muscles tense under your touch.

Saliva pooled in your mouth and as soon as you pulled your head back, spit slid down his length to his heavy balls and a wet line ran down your chin, a mess you knew Miguel liked. As expected, his breathing stuttered and you saw him losing his train of thought at the sight of your saliva-glossy lips stretching around the thickness of his dick.

"...In addition to the state superpos- superposition property, there are many other phenomena that occur as quantum-scale systems, such as quantum tunneling, quantum e-entanglement..."

The firm fingers tangled in the strands of your hair suddenly became sharper, like thick needles scratching your scalp. The threat of the grab hung in the air, filling your stomach with a tense heat as you realized they were Miguel's deadly talons, which could penetrate through the fragility of your skin in seconds and even an accidental scratch could draw blood. This realization shook you to the core and a moan rose in your throat.

"... So you can connect gravity and the other three forces in an apparently firm way?" he panted, sweat glistening on his forehead. "Dios mío."

It took you a few seconds to understand the jumbled words that came out of his mouth, but when you did you knew that you had achieved your objective, as the argument didn't seem to fit into any part of the multiverse theory.

Tears blocked the corners of your vision, jaw opening wider to take Miguel's cock deeper, the tip slapping against your cheek and tongue before going deeper, and then more and more. The salty taste of precum, sweat, and something else you could only describe as Miguel's taste rising in the back of your throat, clouding all your senses and pushing away the urgency burning between your legs. All that mattered was Miguel.

At that moment, your entire world was just Miguel's body contracting on the couch under the heat of your mouth, the heavy leg he had thrown over your shoulder and his heel digging into your shoulder blade in an attempt to bring you impossibly closer. There was a distinct feeling of discomfort growing in your body, Miguel's grip was strong and painful, his rationality seemed to have dissolved under the pleasure.

"[n-name] [name] [name] [name], por favor." The beautiful moans of your name in his voice echoed through the room in repeated, stammered repetitions.

The gag reflex kicked in, the bulbous head of Miguel's cock pressing past the tightness of your throat. Your eyes closed in an attempt to fight the immediate instinct to choke and suffocate, the desire to give Miguel everything he wanted was stronger. You willingly obeyed the grip of the talons on your head keeping you still, your mouth falling open and easy for the deep thrusts.

Resisting him, the urgency with which his hips undulated, as if he needed the pleasure to breathe, felt equal to having at least one pulled muscle and a deep cut left behind.

Fortunately, fighting him was far from your intention.

You could feel as his dick twitched inside your mouth and the thick, salty liquid filled your throat, which rose and fell as you swallowed. Your eyes opened, tears running down your cheeks, you closed your lips around Miguel's pulsing length, sucking. Miguel's reaction was lascivious, his thrusts becoming erratic, whole body shaking violently, his talons sinking at least a few centimeters into your skin, until it breaks under the pressure.

Hot liquid ran down the back of your neck, the pain was a distant thing in your warm body, your fingers digging into the soft skin of Miguel's thighs as you pressed the nose against the curly hair of his groin. Miguel whimpered as his cock continued to spurt small jets deep down your throat, tears glistening in his eyes and fangs sinking into the lower lip.

You had lied again, you hadn't paid attention to anything he said, but it didn't matter since you doubted that Miguel remembered what even was a subatomic particle now.

[visualtaehyun]

P'Den held a space on twt last week wherein he answered questions about the four shows he's currently involved in - Zomvivor, The Next Prince, Khemjira and Love Upon A Time - and shared stories from on set of the different shows, about the actors, about his work in general as well as his methods etc. Since I've kinda become a Domundi girlie and follow P'Den on twt, I thought I'd share what he talked about on here ✌

Disclaimer: not a native Thai speaker, still learning 🙏

He spoke Thai most of the time so I'm mostly translating here but some questions were answered in English and then summarized in Thai so those parts I tried to consolidate to a degree. This entire post is not a 1:1 transcription or translation but I tried to stick as close to his word choices as possible, while still writing from a third person perspective. Oh, and I also sorted everything into four parts according to which show he's talking about instead of following the space chronologically.

Cheers, have fun, and do feel free to ask me any follow-up questions!

(Full post under the cut for length.)

To keep things concise (oh the irony after that previous sentence 🤡), the four shows will be abbreviated as ZVV, TNP, KJR and LUAT from here on out.

🧟‍♂️ "Spoiler about SanNon please, Kru🤣" (San and Non are Zee and Nunew's characters)

He likes seeing people's guesses from the teaser and that there's been a bunch of people who got close to what actually happens in the script. Are we gonna see them fight? ZVV is about raw human instinct coming to light when faced with disaster. The disaster or monster is a representation of a crisis or of problems within society. ZVV is set at a university so, once there's a zombie outbreak, how do the students deal with the problem?

🧟‍♂️ "On the set of ZVV, were there actual ghosts?"

ZVV was filmed mostly on a university campus, though there are some scenes outside of that setting. [In comparison to the set of KJR] they didn't really have any ghost encounters on set. But people were still afraid sometimes because they often filmed at night. For example, they shot in a library that was closed for renovation so there hadn't been any people in there forever. Or sometimes they shot on campus at night and had to turn off all the lights to set up the lighting. The only ghost encounters where when he'd run into some the extras in the restrooms, especially when he'd be lost in thought, after the extras were already in full zombie makeup. In that case, he'd be screaming sometimes.

🧟‍♂️ Talking about workshops

Lots of animal exercises where everyone would get assigned a different animal, observe that animal's behavior, and then play as that animal. Some human behaviors are already associated with animals, like 'mischievous like a monkey' or 'furious like a tiger'. Taking those animalistic sides into ZVV made the actors open up to their own instincts.

🧟‍♂️ "Were there any challenges in filming ZVV? Like anything you'd say was hard to film?"

There was one scene, one sequence really with many small scenes, that took 3 Qs to film! It was a big scene with effects, action, filming with special equipment, rain that had to bet set up. Plus the amount of actors being almost the entire label, maybe 60-70 people in the scene in total. And Aof and Kla wanted it to be perfect as it's one of the major scenes in the show. It was tiring for the actors, too, of course. But they did it and can be really proud of the final product.

🧟‍♂️ "Development of ZeeNew's acting from ZVV to TNP"

He says they were already good to begin with, ZVV just required a bit of adjustment for them since P'Den is one for realism. Not just them but all the actors had to train 'physical' with Om and Fuang - using one's body, combat scenes, letting one's body respond to emotions, movement. His part was more focused on the script and the character's inner works. ZVV was also intentionally filmed like a movie, making the acting choices really authentic in those situations. Many times, he wouldn't give the actors any choices beforehand, unlike during filming a series usually goes, where he'd go over the blocking, choreography, cues etc. Instead they explained the situation the characters were in, told the actors where the camera(s) was/were, and how far they could go in terms of blocking - but the rest was left up to the actors to go free and explore their own choices. So for Zee and New, at the very beginning, they were used to being given choices or having choices thought-out ahead of time. But once they met with P'Den, he tried to have them be in the present moment as much as possible and make choices according to what their characters feel at the time. He could tell they weren't used to it, but used to getting more input, so he met them halfway at first, giving them some help but still encouraging them to find and explore by themselves. Once they started TNP, they were much more used to his method and developed to be actors that are more free. They'd still ask for his feedback on their own choices sometimes, even though P'Den says they already thought like their characters and understood them well.

🧟‍♂️ Air date

Coming in the 4th quarter of 2025, as announced. He implied again that it will be aired on Netflix. It's still in editing, considering the CG, but almost done. We'll see the Domundi boys in roles that they don't usually get to play or are a departure from previous ones, like getting to do action and dramatic scenes for some that routinely play comedic roles or trying out comedic scenes for those that come from drama. There are many flavors in this series.

👑 "Does TNP still have any surprises, wow moments, stuff to leave us stunned, something that fans would never see coming? Like something we'd never expect to see lol"

So many! TNP is just The Most in his life so far. Everyone's using every skill they have and still learning new things for the show. There are scenes from the novel and new scenes, there are many grand scenes and special situations. The actors had to learn horse riding, fencing, ballroom dancing. There are many surprises that weren't in the pilot and characters that haven't been introduced yet.

👑 "First impression after working with P'Zee and Nong Nunew ☺️ Thank you, Kru Den, for being so passionate about TNP!"

He first met ZNN for ZVV and is happy to have met them. From an outsider's perspective they look utterly perfect, he had no clue what their real selves would be like. Zee seemed mature and prudent and Nunew's the miracle child who can do anything. Once he got to know them though, both of them still seem really young. They have so much enthusiasm for work, ask a lot of questions, want their work to turn out well, are down to earth and easy to talk to. They're really lovely Nongs to him but really all of Domundi's actors that he's worked with are lovely. He's never felt troubled when working with any of them because they all take their responsibilities seriously. ZeeNew work so much, he sees that they're working every day, yet they always do their homework. He never has to tell them which scenes precede and follow the scene they're currently filming, never has to tell them what their character is doing or feeling. He only has to help remind them of certain points or suggesting choices and then lets them play, sometimes letting them suggest choices themselves for him to decide which one would be most fitting, especially for difficult scenes. For New, that would be scenes where he has to cry right from the start of a scene. Playing music or talking about his character's feelings gets him there. Similarly for Zee, talking about what his character's been through gets him there. He's really happy to be working with this label's kids.

👑 Talking about workshops

The emphasis was on interpreting the script and finding the private moments of the characters and what they're like in those moments, what they think, want, are lacking. When they're with other people, what mask do they need to wear, who do they need to appear to be? TNP is about personas we need to portray in the world. It's Khanin's journey of suddenly finding himself to be a prince who needs to compete in the tradition of fencing, so he has to conduct himself differently depending on the individual. What is he like with his friends, with Charan, when faced with the public? Same goes for the other characters. They also improvised situations that aren't in the script, like filling in the parentheses to understand the course of events.

👑 "If you had to choose three words to describe the first episode of TNP Series, which ones would you use?👀"

Emotional. Roller. Coaster.

The first episode is always the establishing one, the one that explains what a given series is gonna feel like. So of course the different flavors we'll see in the entire 14 episodes of TNP, are all gonna be there in the first EP. No need to be afraid that the first EP's gonna be plastered in exposition. We're getting all the flavors right off the bat. Whatever we assume must be in TNP, we'll get in appetizer format in EP 1. All crew members that got to watch it, and P'Aof too, said that EP 1 has the vibe of a foreign production, kinda like Heartstopper, kinda like Red, White & Royal Blue, kinda like Bridgerton. There are gonna be lots of emotions, twists and turns, a bit of romance, a bit of comedy, a bit of drama, action, royalty. It's an introductory episode with its own depth and style.

👑 More than one person asked about Itthi, a beloved character in the novels

P'Den asked P'Aof for permission earlier to address this. About Itt - TNP has a script advisor, Kru Aumm, who's a talented screenwriter known for Analog Squad, for example, and has worked as a script advisor for Netflix Thailand and GDH. P'Den has worked with her before. Though P'Den is the acting coach for TNP and thus has nothing to do with the script but he knows that Kru Aumm advised about Itt and Wetid. In order not to have the cast size get too big and because these characters have really similar functions (in the story), she advised to merge them into one person, who would serve both Wetid and Itt's purposes. This was also done to tighten up the script. Of course they didn't want to cut too much from the plot that would make the main plot go down. So both characters have been combined into one character, Wetid, that is played by Most Witsarut. His acting skills are great, he's a Directing and Acting graduate as well and P'Den already knew and has worked with him before. As Wetid he'll be fierce and Charan's helper in lots of instances related to the main plot. P'Den saw questions about Itt come up again and again, some people thinking we'd just have to wait to see him in the series, so he asked P'Aof if he may announce that there's no Itthi in the series but that he's been merged into one character with Wetid.

👑 Someone asked about the photo of ZNN napping and cuddling on set of TNP that P'Den shared on twt

It's obvious that, once they need to change scenes, different people would disperse all over the place to get dressed, get their hair and make-up done, and read their own scripts. But these two get together - helping each other memorizing lines, rehearsing by themselves so it'll be faster and easier once they're on set, playing with each other like we've seen in photos. If there's time to rest, they'll play around together, teasing each other back and forth. If they're tired, they'll hug or sit on each other's lap. Sometimes, if they're too lazy to walk onto the set, they'll carry each other onto set. You'd think P'Den would be used to it by now but he still isn't. There's always something new to observe. Most of the time, it's probably New trying to annoy Zee, Zee teasing him back, New acting sulky and then Zee making it up to him. And then they're cuddling (while lying down). It would go something like that. They play with, comfort, and take care of each other all the time. If New gets tired, Zee would get to him even before a crew member. Sometimes New gets water or tissues, for example, even before the crew could (for Zee). Sometimes they fight, just like any other people who are close to each other - same as P'Den and his boyfriend [legally wedded, actually 🙂‍↕️] sometimes tease each other or fight with each other for some spice in their relationship [his words, not mine 🤣 sounds familiar to zonzons, too, no?], and then hug it out, comfort each other, and call it a day.

(ZeeNuNew) are very professional. At first, he felt a lot of pressure to be working with them because they're already very successful and famous and he was afraid that he wouldn't get up to par with them. P'Den isn't the type of person who feels like he needs to prove himself, he just always does his job the best he can. So he studied the script and scenes extensively, prepared his own timeline for all the scenes and situations, in terms of how the relationships change and the characters grow and develop, so he'd have his own documents to refer back to when he's coaching them or when they have any questions.

The crew is amazing, too, everybody remembers the timeline of the story and helps with the continuity of acting, emotions, hair & make-up etc. Since everybody does their jobs to the best of their abilities and with lots of passion, he hopes that'll prove itself. Nothing is perfect, of course, like there still might be oversights or mistakes but everyone's trying really hard because they know we've been waiting for this for three years. P'Den understands (the frustration) because he himself is also a fan who's had to wait years for things he's a fan of. But they're all really trying to get it right for us.

👑 About the script + final words

There were lots of script adjustments from the novels, both to tighten up the plot and make it more intense as well as to add stuff to make it more fun. There are more scenes to show Khun Charan's and Khanin's skills, in terms of sports disciplines, action scenes, drama. But there's still lots of cute scenes like in the novels. Kru Aumm's team, from Netflix, was coordinating with the script writer all the time to make several instances more condensed while retaining Khanin and Charan's character growth without leaving anyone behind. We are definitely getting the issue of the royal houses vying (for the throne), family issues, issues related to trauma, some political issues that are gonna make it more modern to current day audiences that P'Den thinks we'll enjoy debating and analyzing for sure, various symbols [unsure if he means literal emblems and such or symbolism], beautiful luxurious costumes and locations with hidden meanings that we'll also likely enjoy analyzing.

👻 "Kru Den, which scene in KJR do you think has been the most difficult? Have you encountered a lot of obstacles while filming? I saw that during the latest Q it was raining too ㅜㅜ"

Filming's been going pretty smoothly since it's dry season, the weather's pretty cool, and there's barely any rain. If it is hot, there's always fans, AC units, cooling wipes on set. On Domundi sets there's never a need to worry about the well-being of the crew and actors. Three meals a day, another two that are snacks, and tasty beverages! [lmao] It's just been recently that nature's interfering, like the rain during the previous Q. Which scene does he think was the most difficult? There's been one day where he said it was the biggest and most tiring day since the start of filming, in terms of filming technique, the number of people in the scene, the difficulty and intensity of the scene. People can probably guess what scene it is since there aren't that many scenes in the novel with that large a number of people and that're this brutal.

👻 "For KJR, could you spoil if there's gonna be more exciting things from now on, be it about the cast, scenes or anything else? After announcing the casting of Granny Si, there haven't been any more surprises to get excited about. Could you maybe spoil a little bit more? 😣"

There's so much still! There are still many characters from the novel that haven't been announced so there's still many actors to get wowed by once the series is on air.

👻 Talking about workshops

A lot of improvisation exercises to find the relationships, backgrounds, connection to the past etc. until they could speak and think like their characters.

👻 "KengNamping, TleFirstOne, how is their acting to you, Kru Den?"

It's good he met them ever since the pilot so he got to know everyone's strong points and what they'd still needed to work on.

Keng, for example, comes from movies so he struggled a bit at first with the way series are filmed, since you have a lot of cuts and angles and need to keep playing them the same way to keep the continuity. Whereas in a movie you'd be more free in your acting. He got used to it after the pilot and the workshops. Keng's role doesn't allow him to express a lot. Paran isn't the type of person to show what he's feeling outwardly or immediately. He has a maturity and circumspection to him, a feeling of keeping everything, all his feelings, tucked away in a drawer. For him to outwardly show something, it has to be notable. So Keng's challenge is that he can't feel and express things in one layer, he has to keep it to himself and select how much he'll show. For example, other characters might shout at each other but Por Kru wouldn't do that. He uses his gaze, his deep piercing voice, but wouldn't yell loudly. But Keng does it really well, a little goes a long way. And Keng has a great sense of give-and-receive with his scene partner. Sometimes just seeing him sit with a scene partner, like Mae Nok Noi (the actress who plays Granny Si), just the two of them, there's no need to even be speaking and it's already just right.

Namping is like P'Den, personality-wise. It's like he has two modes: Playful all the time but once he walks onto the set, he's calm, concentrating, ready for rehearsal and blocking, remembers his lines right from the get go. He doesn't hold his script when he enters the set - none of the actors P'Den is working with do, actually. Everyone memorizes their lines at home and did their homework on the ride to work or in the dressing room so once they're on the set, everyone's quiet and ready for blocking, rehearsal, and filming. Namping is that way - in the dressing room he's still playing around but as soon as they're preparing to film, it's on! Cut, moving the camera - and he's back to his cheerful self. P'Den has never seen Namping be exhausted in the almost 20 Qs so far, he's always full of energy which gives the people around him more energy, too.

Tle is detail-oriented, always the first one to get on set, very diligent, open towards different choices. The role of Charnvit isn't easy. It has a nerdiness that's approachable, instead of completely absorbed in one field of interest. He's critical and believes in cause and effect and it's this rationality of his that helps the group. Tle executes that well. Tle also doesn't really play around once he's on set - worlds apart from First!

First is mischievous but once he has to focus, he is really determined. He'll suddenly turn into a school boy, gaze fixed on P'Den and always asking so many questions. People like to ask if Tle and First aren't just playing themselves but Jettana (FirstOne's role) actually has so many dimensions. First can do them all, be it serious parts, dramatic, loving his friends, fun, funny, action, mischievous etc. and not all of them are First's real self 100%.

👻 "Which of the locations for KJR do you think is the scariest, Kru Den?"

Yesterday's! (Q19)

👻 "P'Den, about KJR, would it be any differences about Khemjira's character between series and its book? Because Khem is too easy to cry in its book kaa."

Yes, there will be some differences. When it's understandable that Khem is emotional, sensitive, and feels like crying then he will be crying in the series. But they're not going for a weak Khem. It's good and touching in the novel because you get to feel with the character. When reading you connect via the words and your own imagination. But once it becomes visual on-screen, he thinks people don't like to see the main character cry that much without doing anything for themselves or others. So in the series Khem's gonna be a little tougher. He'll still be sensitive, emotional, naïve, reserved but he will try to survive, just like the title. He'll try to persevere and do things for himself and his friends more.

There are gonna be some side-stories to showcase Paran's ability in dealing with ghosts and supernatural beings in the village, his relationship with the people in the village, and beliefs around shamans. And also side-stories to showcase Khem's strong mind and will and his ability to survive - if he managed to survive 20 years of his life, without his mother, seeing ghosts all the time, enduring all that, then he must be a strong person, not a crybaby. What he will be crying about would be personal and because of his feelings for the other characters. Of course Khem won't turn into the Daughter of the Village Chief [a wild child tomboy female character] but he will be a bit stronger than in the novel.

👻 Final words

They're still going strong with filming. As he said before, there have been some additions and changes to the script so it's still intense but can be shot more realistically. There's interference with beliefs, the principle of karma and the wheel of dharma, saving each other, saving oneself, taking a life to survive in any way, surviving like you're the only one to survive or surviving like we help each other to go on. The message is gonna be concentrated on cases of wiping out ghosts and meeting villagers who can make us come to terms with something. Which is in line with P'Aof wanting to make series not just for entertainment purposes but also to discuss and bring up various issues.

Since the show is 12 episodes long, some parts of the special chapters are going to be mixed into the series as well as side-stories and events from past lives. We're going to see a lot of culture, history, and a thrilling romantic story.

⏳ "P'Kim shared that the scarf scene was improvised, now I wonder how often the boys improvised the scenes?Another one is the part where PhopKhun being intimate, was the awkwardness a deliberation or was it coz JJ was too shy?"

He isn't very keen on improvisation since every scene has to connect to the scene before and after, they can't allow all improvisations to make the cut since the emotions and relationships have to be consistent and some scenes require an agreed-upon sequence, like combat scenes. If there are improvised moments that were kept in the pilot it's because they discussed whether the actors' instincts during filming fit the scene, in which case he let it pass, or not, in which case they'd discuss if it could be adjusted in a fitting way. They mostly just follow the script as is standard practice, these kinds of instinctive choices can make the scene stand out and fit each actors' interpretations of their character. So it's about 90% following the script direction but actors are also free to add their own interpretations and encouraged to be in the moment.

The awkwardness between Phop and Nakhun was indeed deliberate. Some of the choices are of course JJ's, like the facial expressions, but it was scripted to be this way, it's not because JJ was actually too shy or anything. There are gonna be parts where Nakhun becomes more daring but since the pilot takes place at the very beginning of the story, Nakhun gets shy a lot with Phop.

⏳ "Tell us about LUAT please"

Regarding workshop, it's a lot about language. It's like acting in a Shakespeare piece because we're trying to speak an obsolete language. So the kids had to translate their scripts into modern day language and then they'd act out the scenes with modern language first, in order for them to understand the characters' feelings and wants within a given scene. All four understood their characters and scripts, everyone just had their own things to work on, e.g. Nong Tte speaks too fast sometimes, Net doesn't always enunciate clearly. Some things are habitual and just part of their speech patterns, so they'd be difficult to change within the 2 months they had between workshops and filming the pilot. Learning to speak a 2nd or 3rd language accurately and precisely takes time. The LUAT actors are gonna be working with a speech therapist/vocal coach soon.

⏳ "For LUAT, was there any scene that was hard for the crew or the actors?"

Since this was a pilot, they had 2 Qs of time to film it. And during Q1 they had to move (between?) 2 locations so they were tight on time for actual filming. The kids got very little chance to play several takes since they had to keep going. So for the pilot they rehearsed extensively beforehand, ever since the workshop, every single scene. What we see in the pilot, most if not all of it was shot in under three takes. Among those three takes, none of them were bad either, but they were different choices, in the sense of being less or more, or different options for editing later.

What was hard for the crew was the scene of them sitting and drinking together, half-way into the NC scene, on the terrace. It took almost an hour to set up the lighting because they hardly used any electrical lighting, it was mostly practical lighting, lighting up candles and lamps. Meaning the candles had to continue, they had to change them out after every cut, and the oil lamps had to continue, the fire had to be consistent. And the actions and feelings between the characters were difficult as well. It was almost half past midnight at the time so everyone was tired. He remembers this scene requiring a lot of time and effort.

Another difficult one was the lantern-floating scene. A Krathong will just follow the flow of water but they needed it to be in front of the camera to get a nice shot of the pretty candle light on the lotus pond. So an art team crew member on a rowboat had to keep rounding up the Krathongs in front of the camera. It had such a cute vibe, actually, seeing them row back and forth to collect the Krathongs. It was late at night then, too, the other Q's night. Since this was an outdoor scene in a waterfront pavilion without lights or electricity, the light had to be completely set up, which also took a lot of time for the crew. As for the actors, it was an intimate moment wherein the characters finally know their feelings but Klao still feels like there might come a day he won't be here anymore - both in the sense that someone might mean Klao harm and come to hurt him as well as in the sense that he might just warp back to the present at any moment. There's a bittersweetness to it that dampens the romance but doesn't make it sad either so the actors had to find the balance.

⏳ P'Den couldn't find the question anymore but it was: "For LUAT, I'd like to know about Tte's development and him working together with P'Kim - how is it?"

(La)Tte surprised P'Den with how little he speaks, like, he's really silent. He seems like a hard-to-approach manly man, at least from P'Den's perspective as a queer. But he's actually really lovely and diligent and P'Den only just found out that he went to law school. He also takes down every single word P'Den says! Whether it's serious or joking or whatever, he takes notes on everything, as if he's sitting in a lecture hall. Those lines that are an almost-rap at the beginning (of the pilot), where he says so much, were the first lines during workshop. He's really hard-working - during break on-set, P'Den would turn around and see Tte with his script jotting stuff down endlessly. He feels the pressure on him since the last pilot, he's read the comments and knows what he needs to work on so he's really trying to improve at all times. P'Den sees his determination.

As for Tte's chemistry with Kim - they like teasing each other. Tte likes teasing Kim and sometimes Kim will tease him back. For example, when they were shooting the present-day scenes. P'Den saw Tte teasing Kim a lot so that Kim would actually feel annoyed like Nong Pun. Which would come back around once they shot the past scenes. It's one kind of relationship that's really fun, where the Nong messes with/teases the Phi and the Phi gets all huffy.

Kim also surprised him. P'Den knew already what he was capable of but he delivered since the very first take. There's no nervousness because of the camera at all. It's like he's fully prepared. He's a new actor who's done his homework well so there's almost no need to coach him, it's just about helping him in making acting choices. Kim was really sensitive, emotional, about the pouring water part to the point it became another key scene that everyone was talking about. That came from Kim, the credit is almost entirely his for that. He found that (in him) himself.

⏳ "For LUAT, is that one important event still gonna happen?🥹🥹 and are Mae Wanna and Khun Pim part of the script?"

They're currently having script meetings for LUAT. They got a script writer who's previously written period pieces, like Royal Doctor, Thong Ek: The Herbal Master and Ruk Laek Pop. The fact that LUAT is a period piece is pretty straightforward but there might need to be adjustments in the way the story is told because, reading the novel, there is a lot of Nakhun just going about his daily life at times and lots of descriptions of characters' feelings. So they need to add the situations and actions of the characters in order for the audience to get the picture. And they can't just have the characters describe every circumstance in a voiceover or directly tell the audience. They might need to be expanded into situations (small scenes).

But that one really important event is definitely going to be there, otherwise it would become a different story, it wouldn't be LUAT anymore. Therefore, whatever is key to the story - finding his identity, trying to find out where the previous Klao disappeared to and what's going on, disguising himself to get into the opium house and the brothel, adjusting to life in the Ayutthaya period, slowly falling in love with P'Phop, gradually revealing how they could've been close before - all of that has to be there.

As for if Mae Wanna and Khun Pim are going to be in the script, they are catalysts in the relationship of P'Phop and Nakhun. They have their function, they make us see that P'Phop really doesn't care for anyone else aside from Nakhun, no matter if in the past or in this life. And that also makes Nakhun more confident in this man. So P'Den thinks the series script has to have them but he can't say how minor or big their parts are going to be since they're still in talks about the script.

⏳ Final words

More script meetings coming up! P'Den directed the pilot and is also going to be directing the full series. Next up, he'll be sending the kids to clinical speech training with a vocal coach who's a colleague of his at Chulalongkorn University from the faculty of Arts and who got his degree in the US. They'll be learning how to enunciate and pronounce ancient Thai speech more clearly and comfortably. As for the script, they'll try to keep the important or key parts as they are but the way of telling the story might be different, to make it a more modern interpretation, at a time where there are countless period pieces, to make this BL period piece stand out. It won't be just a comedy, that's for sure, it will still have its drama, suspense and thrill. P'Den says he likes series with many different flavors so he'll try to make it as well-rounded as possible.

---

Unrelated to any show but very interesting nonetheless:

"what brought you/inspired you into the world of acting, writing, and directing? how is teaching it like?"

A few more notes: 1) There was a question about what Ar Ning (the actor who plays the King in TNP) is like - I axed it cause I figured most folks on here have no clue who he is anyway 🥴 2) I've read the novels to KJR and TNP but not to LUAT, so I had no way of verifying my choice of name romanizations and my translations for some of the plot details in the question about Mae Wanna, Khun Pim, and the script. Apologies if I've made any mistakes 🙏 3) There were also some shorter questions about learning Thai, several instances of him speaking Spanish (which I can vaguely follow from having learned other Romance languages before but would never actually be able to translate), and some pointless questions I didn't include like "Is NuNew gonna sing an OST for TNP?" which- Duh.

[watermelonsloth]

Hello!

I'm very sorry for asking this question. I'm trying to be as respectful as possible because the question is of a very sensitive (and personal to many including me) topic.

I'm writing a Naruto fanfiction and I'm trying to depict the characters in the way that I captured them, but when it comes to Naruto himself, I realise there are some gray areas that made me really think.

My story is closely linked to SA, to which my character makes a choice to kill the assaulter. I then thought the interactions with the characters and realised that Naruto would never be onboard with killing the assaulter because he has a more optimistic-leaning personality and beliefs.

This left a bitter taste in my mouth for hours. He is one of my favourite characters but when it comes to theories such as this (and with material that was never really dived into) I want to think what Canon Naruto would do and I always reach a deep end.

You don't have to answer this :') please don't feel pressured to do so, it is a very heavy question and I mean to offence to anyone. I'm genuinely stuck and want to see some variety of opinions before proceeding.

Thank you! :')

(CW: discussions of canon-typical violence, discussions of sexual violence as depicted/alluded to in the Naruto series)

I couldn’t think of a good opening for this, so I’ll just get right into it. I don’t think Naruto would have a problem with someone killing their assaulter, and depending on his relationship with the person who was attacked, might even help them with the killing. I’m basing this off of three things: how SV is treated in the Naruto world, Naruto’s perspective on killing, and the (controversial) Orochimaru situation. I’m going to try to keep this concise.

SV is framed pretty inconsistently by the narrative, but is actually pretty consistently condemned by the characters in world. Not in the way that anyone gives a monologue about the horrors of SA or shames Jiraiya for being Like That or anything like that, but in the way that SV is pretty much always responded to with violence. Naruto and Konohamaru break into the girl’s bathhouse and Naruto gets beat up (Konohamaru is spared because he’s the hokage’s grandson), Naruto considers trying to peep at Sakura in the bathhouse and Yamato tells him to be prepared to get his ass kicked in retribution, Kushina is kidnapped to… for lack of a not gross term for this really gross situation, be bred for her Uzumaki genes and Minato attacks her kidnappers (it’s unclear if they were killed or just knocked out), cloud ninja try to kidnap Hinata for the same reasons as Kushina and her father kills them, and Jiraiya peeps at Tsunade in the bathhouse and she damn-well near kills him. SV is framed by the narrative as either a horrible crime that people need to be protected from or the set up to a joke where the punchline is almost exclusively violence. Either way, the characters almost always respond to SV by attacking the perpetrator and the other characters don’t bat an eye. 

Naruto’s perspective on killing changes a bit throughout the series (I blame the change in tone between Part 1 and Shippuden for that). In Part 1, he seems relatively disturbed by it: he initially refuses to kill Haku, he’s horrified when Sasuke stabs a guy in the Forest of Death, and he’s deeply upset when he sees Gaara trying to kill Rock Lee in his sleep and later frozen with fear after witnessing Gaara kill two more guys. Though it’s important to note that he still is convinced to kill Haku, doesn’t flinch at Zabuza brutalizing the mercenaries and Gato on the bridge, never gives any reaction to the fact that anyone he knows, besides Sasuke that one time, has killed, and has zero qualms about threatening grievous bodily harm. Meanwhile in Shippuden, he doesn’t have those reactions anymore and starts going into fights with lethal force (most notably when he fights Pain fully intending to get a revenge-kill). And that’s not even getting into all of the times he’s tried to kill under Kurama’s influence. The only times he really refrains from killing is when he’s personally invested in his opponent, usually because he empathizes with them, not because of a greater moral aversion to killing.

It’s important to note that usually when a character is averse to taking life, such as heroes with no-kill codes, it’s because they believe that murder is wrong and the circumstances around the murder don’t change that (why they believe murder is wrong and whether or not they think a person can come back from murdering changes a lot between characters). In the Naruto world, however, whether or not killing is wrong is very much treated as being circumstantial. Was it a fight or a one-sided massacre? Was it done with a purpose or just personal gratification? In the case of Naruto and revenge, he seems a-okay about it. Again, he tries to revenge-kill Pain, but he also supports Sasuke’s quest for revenge (just not the Orochimaru part), hates Itachi almost entirely because of what he did to Sasuke, and (if I’m remembering correctly) at one point even wanted to help Sasuke in his revenge against Itachi. 

But how do these two things combine? He’s okay with the revenge part of the equation, but he’s also partaken in sexual harassment and has a mentor who repeatedly does the same. Now, I could point to how he never gets upset by the response he gets for being a pervert which implies that the violence is an expected, if not deserved, response. But I think a better argument is to rip off the snake shaped bandage and talk about how Orochimaru is pedo-coded.

This is a somewhat controversial interpretation (from what I’ve seen, at least) and Kishimoto certainly pulled it back in Shippuden, but let me defend myself. 

Orochimaru is introduced as a substantially more powerful person breaking into an event explicitly meant for less powerful people (the chunin exams) with the intent to interact with minors (the rookie nine/Sasuke). Specifically, he has the intent to isolate minors from their teams and villages to make it easier for him to take advantage of their bodies (to experiment on them or one day use them as a vessel). He targets minors in vulnerable positions (Kabuto just accidentally killed his mom and Konoha was trying to kill him, according to databook 3 Karin was the lone survivor of her village being destroyed in war and Suigetsu was traveling with only his brother who we later find out is dead, Juugo was completely isolated from society, Zaku was homeless, Sasuke was still reeling from the Uchiha Massacre and didn’t have a support network outside of team 7) and lures them in with kindness they aren’t used to and offering them something they want (a safe haven for Kabuto and Zaku, to make Sasuke more powerful, Juugo a way not to hurt anyone). Simultaneously, he makes them even more vulnerable so they’re less resistant to his influence (telling Kabuto his village betrayed him, taunting Sasuke with his dead family and making him unable to use chakra without the curse mark). He also leaves marks on them by biting somewhere on their body that—although their influence/impact can be weakened with certain measures and change in thought processes—never go away and leaves the victim at least a little susceptible to him influencing/hurting them even after they’ve removed themselves from him (the curse mark). 

Also a bunch more stuff, so BONUS ROUND: He repeatedly takes advantage of his position of authority to target kids (I’m specifically talking about working with Danzo to artificially create wood release). He calls himself a predator while referring to children (specifically Sasuke, who he targeted) as prey. He licks his lips a lot, usually while leering at someone or when he’s getting excited. He, completely unnecessarily, brushes his hand against Anko’s face in a way he knows will make her uncomfortable while trying to hurt her and taunting her with how she’s not going to be able to stop him from taking another child—at least not without consequences. Anytime he gives praise it always comes back around to a character’s body or how he can take advantage of them. Characters repeatedly call him creepy, a weirdo, or gross regardless of moral alignment (Zetsu in particular comes to mind) or affiliation (Kabuto’s shown to be creeped out by him in Part 1 and Karin and Suigetsu called him the weirdest out of them all). He continues to refer to Kabuto as a child even after he’s an adult. (In a scene I really need to make a post deep diving into) Kabuto says over Sasuke’s sleeping body “We stood out too much. I wonder if catching Lord Orochimaru’s eye will mean ruin for both of us…” before thinking “He’s so young…”. 

So now that I’ve established that I think Orochimaru is meant to be read as at least pedo-adjacent, how does Naruto feel about Orochimaru? He loathes him. During the Tenchi Bridge arc, just seeing him is enough for Naruto to start losing control of the nine tails and he pretty much goes into four tails as soon as Orochimaru even mentions Sasuke specifically because he doesn’t want Orochimaru talking about his friend. He brings up Orochimaru so much during the first Valley of the End fight that it gives me the impression he cares less about Sasuke leaving the village and more about Sasuke leaving the village to go to Orochimaru. One of the first things Naruto does upon reuniting with Sasuke is tries to convince him that Orochimaru only cares about his body, not him, and should get the heck out of dodge. When he hears the news that Sasuke killed Orochimaru, he is giddy with excitement (admittedly, it’s mostly because he thinks that means Sasuke’s coming back, but I do think Orochimaru no longer being in the picture is at least part of it). He has so much ire towards Orochimaru (and kind of Kabuto) despite interacting with him so little that it feels weird to me how… neutral he seems towards them in Boruto. 

So, while I can kind of see where you’re coming from, I have to disagree. I think he’d be completely supportive of someone killing their assaulter, at least if he cares about or empathizes with the survivor in some way.

[radioactive-earthshine]

Now I am curious about what you meant by the sinister implications of Iris knowing all their histories?

The answer is sort of in your question - Mark Waid sloppily implied that Iris knew of all of her family's histories and destinies, then subsequent writers also played with this and expanded on some of the extent of her knowledge which they could never tie down properly.

She wavered between knowing nothing at all, to then pretty much everything.

It was a mess, and in my opinion is a plot point that should have had some concise and very FIRM rules if they had to have it all.

Instead we got a loose idea of what she knew and it made everything confusing.

The sinister element of this plot point reveals itself because it implies that she knew that Barry was going to die (did nothing to warn him) knew her own children were going to be murdered (again did nothing to prevent it as far as we know) knew what was going to happen to Bart (didn't reach out to Meloni beforehand to try to prevent it), and then once in the past exhibited favoritism in some scenarios by helping Wally with her future knowledge (she had to be bullied once though), but not Bart with Thad. She also knew that Carol was going to be forced to live in the future for a while, which I mean... that was a 15 year old NORMAL girl come on. Although she did try to save Bart's life by forewarning him in FMA, but it was too late and she sat on the knowledge until her guilt got too great to ignore (to be fair she was also unsure if he would die but there was a high chance). The most perplexing thing about the FMA plot was she did this after she understood that the future was changed anyway, so there was no point in her keeping quiet, which was a writer's fail. I feel like FMA can be ignored.

It's messy, it's sloppy, it opens too many doors and too many questions, it was poorly executed, and it also opens up the stage for a long and lengthy debate on if Iris knew her whole family was going to be slaughtered and scattered through time before it happened, and did nothing to prevent it, does that make her complicit in their suffering?

If you favor a story about someone unintentionally causing mass suffering out of fear of deep cosmic consequences, then this is a compelling story with literal cosmic horror as the main theme. Iris was petrified of changing the future and history itself, and what the consequences would be, and thus felt justified in keeping quiet.

I do actually think there is interest and power in this plot, and I am firmly of the opinion that Iris should have been revealed to be Time Trapper which would have made a lot of things make SENSE - but we never got that and that is just a matter of opinion.

Should Iris have tried to save the lives of her family if she knew they were going to die?

Did the writers know what they were writing?

What is the biggest implication?

How much did she know and when?

How much can a writer really lean on "well 1000 years later a lot of history was lost" before it just becomes unbelievable and unworkable?

TLDR: There are worrisome and tragic implications to her knowing the future and it quickly becomes a moral debate - if you had future knowledge that someone was going to die SHOULD you try to prevent it even if it might alter the timeline in negative ways?

[steamedlotusroot]

I translated Lego Monkie Kid’s Cantonese Extended Opening

In the tags of my first post I said I wanted to translate the lyrics of the extended OP of the LMK Cantonese dub and I did it :D

Translation notes: (some translations are wonky bc either the og lyrics are ambiguous, I didn’t have enough space to translate the phrases fully, or my Cantonese is rusty)

“All reveal your true forms to me immediately!”— 現形 means to appear/reappear. I personally interpreted it as the spirits/demons showing their true forms when SWK is fighting them, but simply “reveal yourselves to me” works too

“I truly can’t help how popular I am these days.”— One of my wonky translations I think. The og lyric is more like “really, I’m trending right now, I can’t stop it even if I wanted to / even if I tried.”

“But now I have to hide away,”— The lyric for “hide away” 神隱 very specifically refers to gods/immortals/spirits going into hiding

“From now on, keep the Golden Staff with you at all times,”— In the original JttW text, SWK’s staff is called the 金箍棒 “gold-hooped staff/rod”, but in Cantonese the staff is more commonly called the 金剛棒, which doesn’t have the “hoop” character. It’s just a gold stick 

“Only rely on having enough audacity,”— I think it’s supposed to be “have a lot of/enough courage” but it can also mean “audacity”, and since this song is about SWK and MK I think the word “audacity” fits them much better haha

“I will reach the peak for a competition of skill.”— This is an instance of Cantonese being so compressed and concise that I have no idea how to structure the sentence in English

“Endure for the sake of loyalty,”— 捱義氣 means doing a favor out of personal loyalty that you might not want to do (eg. you help your friend clean his car when you hate cleaning cars cuz he’s your bud!). I think “endure for the sake of loyalty” is a goofy way of translating this but I dunno what to write instead

“Assemble surprises.”— I have no idea what this is supposed to mean. This is a very literal translation

“The me today,”— Longer version: The me I am today

“Chock-full of abilities.”— OG lyrics 一身本領 go a little bit like “the whole body is full of skills/abilities”. I wanted to just write “full of talents” but “talent” isn’t quite accurate. I went with “chock-full” cuz it sounds funny

“Clash with fire in a duel,”— I like to think that this line refers to Red Son and I like Red Son :]

“Carrying an endless mission,”— I originally wrote “shouldering” instead of “carrying”, but because 懷 means “embrace/chest” or “harboring”, I thought “carrying” sounds less grueling and more accurate than “shouldering”

“Eyeballs looking around,”— “eyes staring wide and round” probably fits 眼仔睩睩 better, but hopefully “eyeballs” sounds wide and round enough?? And I wanted to turn it into an action so I described the eyes looking around like they’re on guard!

“Grappling arduously with the enemy,”— Lots of ways to translate 搏命: fighting for your life, wrestling for your life, blah blah blah. I hope “grappling” is evocative enough 😭

“Quick-witted actions, be clever,”— I’m not sure if it’s “quick-witted, actions sharp and clever” or “quick-witted actions, be sharp and clever” 💀 靈活 means “mentally flexible”, sharp醒 means “smart, clever, alert, quick-witted”, something like that

“It’s called the NSoFFM,”— The lyric lacks a pronoun in Cantonese so I’m not sure if it means “call me/you the NSoFFM”, “call for the NSoFFM”, “you’re called the NSoFFM”, or something else. I interpreted it as SWK listing a bunch of traits and saying “someone like this will be called the NSoFFM”

“Skyrocket to ascension / I rise at Flower Fruit Mountain.”— 飈升 means shooting up really quickly/suddenly. I’m not sure what “shooting up” means in this context so I kept it as vague as possible. I also translated 飈升 in two different ways “skyrocket to ascension” and simply “rise” even though both lyrics mean the same thing in Cantonese. “Skyrocket” is most accurate IMO, but it sounds weird by itself

“I always strive for self-improvement,”— The og is just “I forever self-strengthen”, which sounds weird to me so I expanded it

“When I wedge into the crack,”— No idea what this means?? I’m guessing it’s supposed to evoke the image of SWK jamming a weapon into a crack? Also I wanted to write “wedge into the fissure” but when I googled “fissure” it showed me results for anal fissures and I was so put off by it I just used “crack” instead, even though “crack” sounds much sillier than “fissure”

“Demons please relax, lest you lose control.”— Nothing to note, I just really like the original lyric. It’s so cocky and badass and SO Wukong (or MK!) /pos

“Use kindness as the mark of recognition,”— Not sure what this really means? I interpret it as “kindness is my goal/principle”, but 記認 means both “marking” and “recognize/remember” so uh

“Evildoing is difficult to regard as the elder brother,”— The og lyric sounds fine but trying to understand it is?? It’s not “evildoers”, it’s “the way/path of evildoing”, but then it says “it’s difficult to be an older brother (non-familial)” like who is it difficult for??? Also “brother” here means a fellow disciple/classmate under the same teacher/master/school, so like the relationship between SWK and the other pilgrims (except their master, of course)

“I can’t be beat to death, swim carefree at the edge of the sky.”— The most egregious lyric IMO. I have absolutely no clue what it’s supposed to mean so maybe I’m just not that good at Cantonese??? It could be “I can’t beat to death swimming carefree at the edge of the sky” or “I can’t be beaten to death, swim carefree at the edge of the sky”. The swimming part lacks a pronoun so idk who’s swimming? What is happening in this sentence?? Help??

“Risk your life when taking action,”— 拼命 either means “as hard as you can” or “risking your life”. I’m only assuming it means the latter because I interpret this as SWK lecturing MK on how to be a hero

“And the battle lineup is again full of wit,”— I can sorta grasp what this means, but idk how to write it in English. 陣容 means the appearance/formation of your battalion and can extend to mean the array of abilities in a certain lineup. Not sure how to actually describe this though 😭 also I used “clever” for sharp醒 earlier but changed it to “wit” here so it’d be a noun and sound like an ability or something

[sewellsheart]

Merciless Haze - Part 4/4

Summary: He turned back to face her, and as soon as Sophie saw what he was holding she was unable to shift her gaze. She removed herself from her sheets to sit on top of the quilt, eyes not once wavering from the blood bag in Nate’s hands. Her top lip twitched at the feeling of her fangs descending.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

Warnings: Explicit sexual content, minor blood play that might actually count as food play depending on how you look at it

Word Count: 7.3k (🫣)

Pairing: Nate Sewell x f! Detective (Sophie MacNamara)

Note: Y’all this is my first time writing smut, and on top of that it’s M/F smut. I’m a lesbian with no experience with cis men. So all I can say is: I definitely tried! (lowkey a little proud of it)

Tags: @agentnatesewell @nat-seal-well @itsmistyeyedbi

Read on AO3

The glow of the presentation screen was the only light in the Facility conference room. Sophie was seated towards the front of the ovular meeting table, listening intently to the lecture Elidor had prepared for her. She hadn’t been particularly keen to provide even more of her blood to the Agency, especially considering how poorly that had gone before. Elidor, however, was someone she trusted as an individual. He was methodical, concise, and trustworthy. She had approached him, asking if he would be interested in researching something for her and, more importantly, if he would be willing to keep it off the books.

He had been hesitant, Sophie had certainly understood why — she wasn’t one for breaking the rules herself — but upon hearing just what she wanted looked into, he had agreed. With the promise of disposing of it as soon as he concluded his research, Elidor had drawn five sizable vials of Sophie’s blood, used his high security to access samples of concentrated vampire venom, and set to work.

“I could survive it, then?”

“You could,” The fae replied. “But the circumstance would have to be just right, as well as the dosage.”

Sophie leaned back in her chair, “How would we go about measuring that?”

Elidor let out a lighthearted chuff, “There’s no ‘we’ here, Agent. After we walk out of this room, it’s all you.” His gold eyes met hers. “All I can determine here is that you’ll be walking a very fine line between death and immortality.”

Sophie sighed then pursed her lips. “Well, tell me what you found.”

Elidor tapped on his computer, displaying three different images of her, now very recognizable, blood cells. Using a pointer, he brought her attention to the left-most image.

“This is your blood straight out of the vial, nothing has been done to it. As I’m sure you can see, there’s already abnormalities.” Sophie nods. Elidor shifts his pointer to the second image. “This is your blood’s reaction to a dose of Turned Vampire venom.”

Sophie squinted at the screen, “I don’t see a reaction.”

“That would be because your macrophages ate all the infected cells before it could do anything.” Sophie opened her mouth to speak but was stopped by Elidor’s hand raising in a halt. “Let me continue, it makes more sense as we go,” His pointer shifted to the third image. “This is the reaction to Natural Vampire venom.”

Once again, Sophie’s well-trained eye was unable to stop a difference. “Am I immune to it, then?” She masked the disappointment in her voice, but it didn’t stop her heart from clenching in her chest.

“Not quite,” Elidor tapped his computer again, displaying a new slide with two more images. He once again indicated his pointer at the left image. “This is your blood when introduced to a double dose of Turned Vampire venom. Think of it as if you had been bitten by two Turned Vampires at the same time. Again, the same reaction, or rather a lack of one.”

He brought her attention to the second image in the lineup. This one, Sophie could see, was much different.

“This sample is where things change. I mixed one dose of Turned Vampire venom with one dose of Natural Vampire venom.” Elidor once again looked her in the eyes, a proud smirk on his face. “It worked.”

“It worked once.” Sophie replied blandly.

Elidor rolled his eyes. “Ever the pessimist, you. Have a little faith in me,” He clicked his computer once more, ten more images appeared. “I did eleven trials, there’s a ninety-point-nine percent success rate.”

“Elidor, I appreciate that you did more tests, but eleven is hardly a stable sample size, and there’s still a possibility that with this combination I wouldn’t turn.”

The fae stared at her, unimpressed. “Unless you plan on providing me with four more liters of your blood, this is the largest sample size I can provide,” he hesitates for a moment. “As for turning, I should rephrase. This venom mixture has a one-hundred percent success rate in turning you,” his pointer hit the eighth sample image, “this, though, is the problem.”

Sophie studied the image, it only took a glance to understand what had happened, but she wanted to know why it had. The image displayed the same altered red blood cells as the others, but this sample’s cells looked wilted and tired. The cells were dead.

“How long did it take?”

“For them to die? Four hours, but the signs were there by the two hour mark.”

Sophie nodded slowly, “Do you have a theory as to why?”

Elidor’s lips tightened, “My best guess is that the cells infected by the venom multiplied too quickly. In a turning, the cells infected by venom multiply exponentially. It essentially brute forces its way through the body,” He sat down in the chair across from Sophie, seeming a little lost in thought.

“You know well enough by now, turning is a painful process. I believe you’ve forgotten how dangerous it is though, Sophie. Plenty have died before reaching the ending stage,” Sophie looked back to the slide, willing it to reveal something more to her. There was nothing left to see though, just dead red blood cells, suffocated by the force of the venom that had contaminated it.

“I assume you didn’t bother with a double dose of Natural venom, then?” She prodded.

“I almost didn’t, but you’re as thorough as I am. I did one test,” the next slide appears on the screen, displaying a single image. The result didn’t shock her.

“How long did this one take?”

“It took significantly longer to actually kill all of the cells, the dying phase started earlier but was severely prolonged,” he grimaced, “I can only make the assumption that it would be a torturous death.”

“Turned Vampire venom effectively dilutes the Natural Venom, then?”

“In essence, yes. There’s a bit of a detachment between the two,” Elidor looked up at the ceiling in thought, “I’d have to get into the genetics of it, but to put it plainly, there’s just certain aspects of being a natural vampire that can’t be replicated in a human vessel. Turning changes a lot about a person, but it can’t change too much without killing the afflicted individual.”

“I suppose there’s not much of a point in having the ability to turn people into vampires if it will only ever kill them,” Sophie rubbed her fingers against her temple and squeezed her eyes shut.

There was a long silence in the room, broken only by Elidor’s voice, the gentlest Sophie had ever heard it, “Are you sure you want to do this, Sophie?”

Sophie opened her eyes and sat up, looking him dead in the eye as she gave a stern nod.

Elidor replied with a few small, slow nods. “Well, you know what you need, now. What’s your plan?”

Sophie pursed her lips, “I suppose I’ll arrange something with Farah, see if she’s open to being involved. I doubt that Nate would have any objections to being-”

“I would strongly advise that you do not utilize Agent Sewell’s venom.”

That took Sophie aback some, “And why is that?”

“I can’t disclose any more than that, I’m afraid. Confidentiality, and all. You’ll have to discuss it with him,” he stood up, “Is there anything else I can help you with, Agent?”

Sophie, still mulling over Elidor’s comment, shook her head.

Elidor gave her one final nod before he disconnected his computer and plunged the room into darkness.

—————

“Sophie.”

Nate felt breathless. There she was, standing on her own two feet, alive despite everything she’d been through. Next to him was Adam and Elidor, a case of blood bags at their feet, but as soon as he looked into her deep green eyes, it felt like they were the only two in the room.

She looked unlike she ever had before, her face appeared gaunt, and her hair was unkempt and tangled. She had, what Nate could only assume, was her own blood running down her chin. Her fangs had descended, and the expression she donned was something very familiar to him. Hunger.

She remained as beautiful as ever.

She also had to return to her room before something of severe consequence occurred.

Nate approached her swiftly before she could take advantage of their surprise, grabbing her by the waist.

“Nate—”

“I’ll help her, Adam, don’t work yourself into a fuss. Let the others know to stay away,” He gave a pointed look at Elidor. “Especially you.”

Elidor nodded. “I’ll be back to check on her when she’s less… instinctual.”

“We would recommend it,” Adam replied.

As Elidor strode away, Nate felt Sophie’s abdomen tensing, like she was checking just how strong his grip on her was. Before, Nate wouldn’t have been the slightest bit concerned about his ability to hold her back. Now, he had no idea what she was capable of.

Though perhaps he didn’t have much to be concerned about, as Sophie seemed to be content to remain near to him. Nate had never seen a newborn vampire so calm before, he was almost concerned that there was something wrong.

Adam looked back to him, “Are you sure about this?”

“Completely.”

“We do not know the extent of her strength now.”

“There’s nothing she could do to me that I couldn’t heal from.”

He nodded, eyeing Sophie cautiously. Clearly, Nate hadn’t been the only one to notice her odd behavior. Adam picked up the blood case from the floor, pressing the handle into Nate’s free hand. Sophie didn’t even spare Adam a glance as he entered her space.

“Take the case, make sure she gets enough, but not too much. You know the protocol. I’ll inform the others,” He hesitated a moment before following the same path Elidor had just taken.

As soon as Adam’s back was turned, Nate pulled Sophie back into her bedroom, closing the heavy wooden door and locking it. The second he did so, Sophie fell into him, letting out a distressed hum. The sound made Nate’s chest ache. He guided her back to her bed, placing the case at the foot of it.

“Ya rouhi, mo chuisle,” He climbed onto her bed, still holding onto her, and settled them in the center. He made a mental note to change her bedsheets for her.

Sophie seemed intent on keeping her face buried in his neck, apparently fixated for one reason or another. He allowed her to relax into him as she continued to release gentle hums, which grew softer as he began to pet down her hair. Then he felt the warmth of her breath and the blunt press of the front of her fangs.

Ah.

Well, that wasn’t how he’d intended for this to go, but it certainly explained why her focus had only been centered on him. Vampires didn’t tend to take note of each other's scents while their blood was still in their body. Even outside of it, the potency was more noticeable than any possibly desirable scent. Nate couldn’t help but feel a little flattered.

Adam may have emphasized protocol, but what he didn’t know wouldn’t perturb him. Instinct wasn’t always a bad thing, and if her instincts were telling her to bite, he wouldn’t stop her.

“It’s alright, my love. You can.” He felt her open her mouth, one of those fresh fangs testing against the skin of his neck. Nate mentally braced himself for what would undoubtedly be an unpleasant feeling. Sophie was wholly instinct right now, she wouldn’t be able to release the pheromones to—

Oh. How wrong he was.

Nate wasn’t able to contain the pleased groan that left him as she sunk her teeth in. With each pull she made, he fell further into the feeling. A first feeding was usually a messy affair; ripped open blood bags, numerous stains, animalistic behavior— but here was Sophie, clasped onto his neck, one hand firmly gripping onto his back, the other pressed on his hip. Only Sophie, floating in a cloud of delirium, would be in so much control she would put effort into being considerate.

She was perfect, absolutely perfect for him. He would never meet someone like her again, and his all-consuming fear of losing her was diminishing. Just as he was about to gently coax her off, she retracted on her own.

Sophie raised her head from his neck to look at him. Some color had returned to her cheeks, her bright red hair adding to the glow. His blood was smeared over her teeth and lips, her fangs still out and Nate just now noticed that they were larger than average. He couldn’t have stopped the burn of arousal that ran through him if he tried, nor the descent of his own fangs. Nate took a rare, necessary breath to center himself. That reaction is something that could be explored later, preferably when he wasn’t responsible for the first feeding of the love of his life.

A first feeding that would have to wait, apparently, as Sophie was beginning to look less coherent by the second. He had forgotten just how much rest was necessary for a newborn vampire. He looked behind him and was reminded of the state of her bedsheets, mottled with blood and sweat stains.

Nate frowned, that wouldn’t do. Sophie had done nothing but suffer in the past ten days, the least he could do is provide her some basic comfort. He turned back to face her, the fatigue was dragging her body down, but she remained awake.

“Let’s get you over to the couch, mo ghrá,” Nate stood, then picked Sophie up from her place on the bed. He set her down on the couch tucked into the corner next to her bookshelf, ensuring she was comfortable before he left through her bathroom door.

He turned the faucet of the bath on, letting it run while he returned to Sophie’s bedroom to change her sheets. He made quick work of it, quickly stripping the bed of its beige sheets and well-loved quilt with dark green silk sheets and a quilt of his own, before returning to Sophie’s side.

Her eyes were closed, her chest completely still. Nate pursed his lips before brushing a few stray hairs from her face. Her chest jumped and she blinked her eyes open, apparently he caught her on the edge of sleep.

“I have a bath ready for you, love.”

Sophie once again hummed in answer.

Nate helped her move into a sitting position, pulling the oversized Agency-provided white gown she wore over her head before once again picking her up and taking her to the bathroom.

He set her in the pleasantly warm, still shallow water, placing a folded towel under her head for support before grabbing a washcloth. Lathering soap onto the cloth, he set to work gently cleaning Sophie’s tattooed skin. He couldn’t help but admire the work as he went, even as familiar as he was with it. He rinsed over the angel on her thigh, the bat on her sternum, the skeletal lovers on her forearm.

That piece was the newest addition, only a few months old, but it was quick to become his favorite. She never said it outright, but he knew she had used a candid photo Farah had taken of them on the balcony of her apartment as a reference. The position was exactly the same, Nate had been pressed behind her back, his head settled on her shoulder, his hands over her abdomen, her arms crossed over her chest.

He smiled at the memory as he finished cleaning her, rinsing the remaining soap away before pulling the drain plug. As the bath emptied, Nate gathered Sophie’s long hair and quickly braided it. It was loose and sloppy, but out of her face.

Sophie’s eyes had once again closed at some point, but the habitual rise and fall of her chest told Nate that she was still awake. With the bath empty, Nate gently patted her down with a dry towel before doing his best to wrap her in it, picking her up one final time to return her to her bed.

After placing her down onto the clean silk, he went over to her dresser, pulling out one of her oversized t-shirts and a pair of boyshorts. He quickly dressed her, surprised by the fact that she was still somewhat conscious and helping him do so. As soon as she was settled, Nate walked around the room, shutting off the lights, before undressing himself down to his boxers and joining her.

In the darkness, Nate watched as Sophie settled into a deep sleep. For the first time since her turning began, Nate felt tired, too.

—————

“No romantic life-altering decisions by the fireplace for you, then,” Farah sighed dejectedly. “Here I was, getting everything in order to create a trail of rose petals leading to Nate’s room and your immortal future.”

Sophie would’ve rolled her eyes if she had the energy for anything that wasn’t trying to figure all this out. She was lying on the long couch in the sitting area, her fingers ceaselessly tapping on the wooden frame.

“What time were they meant to be back?”

Farah looked over at the, rather regal looking, grandfather clock in the corner. “Twenty minutes ago,” She chirped.

Sophie let out a deep sigh, growing more impatient with every passing minute.

Farah gave her a quizzical look, “You don’t need to be worried about them, they’re just on patrol. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this anxious before.”

“It’s not anxiety.”

“You sure? ‘Cause it sure feels like it. It’s practically radiating into me.”

Sophie gave Farah a weary frown.

“Wow, you really are in a mood,” She chuckled, then looked towards the heavy wooden door of the living area. “They’re back now, I can hear them.”

Sophie pushed herself off of the couch and onto her feet, rushing out of the room and toward the warehouse entrance. Nate was mid-discussion with Adam and Morgan when Sophie approached them briskly, her full attention on Nate.

“Shit, what the hell did you do?” Morgan gave a deep chuckle, ignoring the disapproving look Adam gave her.

Before Nate could reply to the quip, Sophie grabbed his arm with urgency, but kept her voice soft. “I need to talk to you.”

Nate nodded at her, looking a little surprised by the gentleness of her tone, considering her approach. “Of course, lead the way.”

Sophie gave a quick nod of greeting to Adam and Morgan before leading Nate to his room. As soon as the door was shut behind them, Sophie turned towards Nate, and suddenly felt herself beginning to panic.

Farah had been right about the anxiety, then.

Nate’s brow creased in concern, his hands came up to rest on her shoulders, giving a gentle squeeze. “What’s wrong?” His left hand came to caress her neck, his thumb gently brushing her jaw. “Did something happen?”

His touch brought Sophie back to herself, easing her pulse. The anxiety still buzzed, but the panic subsided. This was Nate. She could tell him anything.

“I had some blood tests done.”

Nate’s eyes widened at that. “What kind of tests?”

“I wanted to see how my blood would react to vampire venom. I had them run trials.”

“The Agency allowed a turning test? I’ve never heard of them giving that kind of approval,” he hesitated. “Especially not for someone they seem very keen on remaining human.”

“I didn’t give it to the Agency. I asked someone to do it for me, no documentation.”

“You what?” There was no anger in his voice, just surprise. He let out a gentle laugh, “I don’t know if I’ve ever seen you disregard the rules.”

Sophie fixed him with a determined look. “I’m allowed to make decisions in my own life, and I’m allowed to be educated in those decisions,” She replied stubbornly.

“Yes, you are, absolutely, you are. What did you find out?”

Sophie heaved a sigh, “It’s going to be complex,” She thought about her next words carefully, Nate’s head titled in curiosity. “I was… advised that I should not use your venom.”

Nate leaned back a bit, his hands falling to Sophie’s arms. “That doesn’t surprise me, unfortunately.”

“Why?”

Nate worked his jaw in thought, “It would likely be too… unpredictable, is the word, I suppose. There’s many aspects of my abilities that I’ve had to learn to manage and control. My venom is not one I’ve ever had a need to keep in check. It’s very rare that the agency would allow a vampire under its employ to turn a human.”

“We may have a problem, then. I’ll need two of you, and one of them has to be Farah.”

Nate gazes at her warily, “I’m afraid I’ll need you to walk me through this.”

She does.

—————

When Sophie woke up, she found herself warm, clean, and comfortable for the first time in days. She opened her eyes, her head was resting on Nate’s bare chest, their legs intertwined.

Sophie nuzzled into Nate’s chest, taking a deep breath to take in his scent and—

Had Nate always smelled this good? She was accustomed to his spiced, earthy cologne but this was something entirely different. Lifting her head, Sophie looked up to find Nate’s deep brown eyes already focused on her.

“Good evening, my love,” He said, a gentle smile gracing his lips.

“Evening?” She looked at her walk clock, 21:38. She couldn’t even remember the last time she was awake. Sophie looked back at Nate, who almost appeared startled with a wide-eyed expression. “Is… something wrong?” Her voice had certainly had better days.

Nate just gave a single stunned laugh. “I wasn’t expecting that you’d be able to respond, let alone be so coherent.”

Sophie cleared her throat, trying to rid it of the roughness as she turned to lie on her back. That was when the room started spinning. Sophie closed her eyes, pressing her hands over her eyes.

She felt Nate turn onto his side to place his hand on her shoulder, giving her a comforting squeeze. “Are you alright?”

Sophie gave a placating hum. “Dizzy,” she said, moving her hands to lay on her stomach.

Nate clicked his tongue, as if he were chastising himself. “I waited too long, but I wanted you to get some real rest,” He brushed a few strands of her hair behind her ear, “You must be hungry, let’s get you something filling.”

As he moved off of the bed, Sophie’s eyes followed him curiously. He walked over to a case sitting at the end of her bed, unzipping it. He turned back to face her, and as soon as Sophie saw what he was holding she was unable to shift her gaze. She removed herself from her sheets to sit on top of her quilt, eyes not once wavering from the blood bag in Nate’s hands. Her top lip twitched at the feeling of her fangs descending.

That sensation would take a while to get used to.

He climbed back onto the bed, and Sophie winced a bit at the realization that this was a less than preferable place to be doing this. “Not the breakfast in bed you’re accustomed to, is it?” Nate chuckled.

He presented the bag to Sophie, “No, not quite.” She replied as she raised it up to her mouth, giving a shy glance to Nate, before opening her mouth and letting her teeth sink into the bag.

Her brow furrowed for a moment, unsure what to expect, before it finally hit her tongue and she was able to relax into the relief. Even she was surprised by how quickly she took to it, like it has always been in her nature to drink human blood from a small silicone sack.

The effect was immediate, she could feel herself satiating a hunger that had been silently taunting her for days. Still, she maintained her resolve, not allowing herself to fall into an animalistic haze, though she could feel the urge creeping up her spine.

She hadn’t even realized that her eyes had closed in her focus. She reopened them to see Nate, a strained look on his face, watching her throat move as she drank. If her observation of his reaction gave her an idea, she couldn’t be blamed.

She was, previously, only human.

—————

Nate was once again baffled by Sophie’s self-control. He could count on one hand the number of first feedings he’d been witness to, and not one of them had been this calm. Even after coming to know her so intimately, she still managed to surprise him.

Nate found himself having to continually reinforce his own self-control as his eyes clung to the bobbing of her throat. His gaze lifted to find her looking at him with as much intensity as he felt, but there was something playful there too.

“You know exactly what you’re doing, don’t you?” Nate said with an amused smirk.

Sophie’s jaw loosened, allowing some of the contents of the bag to rush down her throat and slip out of her mouth. Nate’s hand rushed forward, catching the droplets before they could stain the quilt beneath them. His hand remained there as Sophie drank down the remainder of the bag. As Nate shifted to get her another, Sophie grabbed his hand and — before he could react — licked up his palm, gathering the small pool of blood into her mouth. She swallowed it down, her eyes unwavering in their attention on him.

“Nate,” Her voice still raspy from a lack of use. He couldn’t help but lean in and kiss her.

Sophie immediately began to run her fingers through his hair, it was down, just as she liked it to be. He hadn’t put it up once in these last ten days.

He moved to pull Sophie into his lap, desperate to be as close to her as possible. The taste of blood in her mouth alongside her familiar flavor had Nate’s head spinning and his own fangs dropping. He was struck with the realization that this was the first time he’d felt her mouth against his since that morning at the Facility. He hadn’t known then that that could have been the last time he kissed her.

Nate pulled back, kissing down her neck, tasting the blood that had dripped down her warm skin, “I could have lost you,” His voice broke, and he breathed in her scent to center himself, “I almost lost you.”

Sophie gently tugged his hair back, forcing him to look at her. As if he would be able to focus on anything that wasn’t her.

She kissed his forehead. “You didn’t.”

He felt his eyes sting as he pulled her back in, even closer, until they were chest to chest, their mouths working in sync. Sophie let out a soft, low moan, and that was the end of Nate’s patience for the day. He broke their kiss and shifted his hips, maneuvering Sophie onto her back so he was on top of her, his forearms framing her head, his body between her legs.

He looked down at her. Her cheeks were flushed, her green eyes bright and aware. She no longer looked starved, the sharp lines of her pretty face not harsh, just defined. Just Sophie. Nate opened his mouth but found himself lost for words.

She smiled at his awe of her, and Nate noticed that her once slightly crowded front teeth and incisors were now perfectly straight. The scar that once ran through her right eyebrow from an “incident” when she was a child was now gone, the only indication of its existence being the beginnings of new hair growth. He couldn’t stop himself from brushing his hands over the bushels of flowers she had tattooed over her collarbones— she had always complained that they had healed poorly, leaving them raised. As his thumb traced the weaving flora, he felt nothing but the softness of her skin.

“What is it?”

Her question pulled him out of his study of her. “Your scars are gone,” he answered, a gentle smile gracing his lips as a bittersweet feeling ran through him.

“Ah, I had forgotten about that part,” she reached her hand up to caress his cheek, then guided him back down to her.

The brief break in their heated moment came to a quick end as their lips met again. Nate had to have her, he had to hold her and know she was okay, and alive, and herself. Sophie’s nails raked down his back as his hands slipped under her shirt, pushing it up her torso. He broke their kiss for a moment, encouraging her to lift herself so he could pull it off completely.

With her upper half fully exposed, Nate kissed down her neck, leaning on his left forearm as he squeezed her breast with his free hand. Every gasp she let out was another sign of life, an additional reminder that despite everything, she had survived.

Nate’s kisses lead him further down, over her left collarbone and breast before his mouth latched over her nipple, teasing it with his tongue.

“Nate!” Sophie’s hand tugged on his hair, pulling a low groan from him.

His free hand came up to pinch her right nipple before wandering down to where the band of her panties was snug against her hips. He released her breast from his mouth, giving a quick kiss to the hanging bat on her sternum before he encouraged her hips upward to pull off her last barrier. As her panties slid down her long legs, Nate wondered if she were taller now. He’d been too occupied when last they stood together to notice.

Sophie leaned up to tug down the band of his boxers, which were doing absolutely nothing to hide the evidence of his arousal. He adjusted his position to push the fabric off, then it was just him and Sophie — naked, together, and alive.

He leaned forward to kiss down her stomach, leading to the trimmed, coarse hair of her sex. Normally, this was when Nate would take his time to tease by nipping at her inner thighs, kissing everywhere except the place she needed him most. There was a time and place for those games, and now they had so much time. The games could wait.

Instead, Nate immediately licked at the wetness of her core, his tongue trailing upwards to gently flick at her clit. The choked gasp Sophie gave in response would be replaying in his head for days.

“God, Nate!”

The way she said his name when they were together like this was addictive, another hit of dopamine every time he heard it. He redoubled his efforts, wrapping his strong arms under her equally strong thighs and gripping her hips to pull her wet cunt against his mouth.

He knew exactly how she liked it, this was a well-practiced dance between them, but was never any less thrilling than that first time on that picnic blanket in the sunshine. His tongue circled around her clit again and again until it was firm and sensitive, then he sucked—

“Ah, fuck, Nathaniel—”

There it was, that was how he knew he was doing well. He continued his ministrations, Sophie’s moans and gasps only growing louder, especially as he pressed one of his long fingers into the wet heat of her cunt. He felt his cock twitch in interest at the feelings of her walls squeezing at his intrusion, a feeling that was only exacerbated with his addition of a second finger. He flexed his fingers, seeking to press up against that soft spot he’d come to know very well. Sophie’s thighs tightened around his head and he knew he had found it.

“Right there, yeah—hah—don’t stop—”

As if he would ever consider such a thing. He looked up her body to meet her eyes, the rich brown of a forest floor meeting the green of the pines above it, and watched as she came undone on his fingers and tongue. He worked her through her orgasm, not pulling away until it was clear she was beginning to get overstimulated. As he raised himself up from her heated center, Sophie grabbed his hand, still wet from her orgasm, and licked what remained off his fingers.

He was impossibly hard at this point, something Sophie had taken note of as she used her free hand to grip his straining length. Nate let out a groan, the pressure of her hand offering a desperately needed relief. Sophie’s thumb ran over his tip, spreading the pre-come that had gathered there over the rest of his length. Nate looked down their bodies to watch her work, her long, dainty fingers contrasting beautifully with the dark lettering on her knuckles. FARE was working his cock, WELL was still holding his wrist, though Sophie had since finished licking his fingers clean.

Sooner than he would have liked, Nate felt the familiar burn of his peak coming. He reached down to grab Sophie’s wrist, bringing her to a stop.

“Not yet,” His voice was breathy and desperate.

Sophie nodded, bringing both of her hands to feel their way up his chest, before putting one behind his neck to pull his face down to hers. Their mouths met once again, this time slower, but no less passionate. Nate’s still hard cock was resting on her pubic bone, catching Sophie’s attention.

Breaking their kiss, she quietly murmured to him, “Want you, please.”

How could Nate ever say no to a request like that? He leaned back, gripping himself by the base, before guiding his tip into her tight heat.

He would never get tired of the feeling of this. There was something so special about it, only with Sophie. She was closed off and stubborn— a result of a difficult upbringing and a clear lack of positivity in her life —but here, in the privacy of their coupling, she opened herself up in the most intimate way, and did so with such genuine love it made Nate’s heart ache.

He pushed in slowly, wanting to feel and cherish every moment of this. His gaze moved from where their bodies met to Sophie’s face, her mouth was open, letting out only small gasps, and her brow was furrowed in want. Again, their eyes met, this time as Nate bottomed out and Sophie let out a satisfied moan.

He waited a moment for her to nod, the way he always did, before he finally let himself go.

He created a steady pace, ensuring each stroke was long and deep, hitting all of the right places for her. Sophie’s arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer to her, until he felt every inch of their bodies moving together in tandem. God, it had been quite some time since they’d taken it slow like this, not having had the opportunity since Sophie moved into the warehouse full time.

He was lucky they were able to be together like this, lucky that she wasn’t six feet under, lucky that instead of hearing her death rattle he was hearing her beg him for more, beg him to touch her.

Nate let one of his hands slither down their bodies, his thumb finding her clit, stroking it in pace with his thrusts. He groaned as he felt her tighten around him in response, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to last much longer. Luckily for him, she clearly wasn’t going to be able to either.

“Oh Christ, Nathaniel, I- close, so close—“ Sophie let out a broken keen as she reached her second peak, her ankles locking together behind him, pulling him in further.

“Sophie,” was all he could manage to say as he came in response to her walls spasming around his length. He worked them both through it as he spilled inside of her, giving a few more shallow thrusts before coming to a stop.

Sophie’s legs unlocked behind him, dropping to his sides. He shifted, letting his softening cock slip out of her. If he pulled back to appreciate the sight of his spend dripping out of her, well, that was between them. Sophie was well aware of his proclivities; this one in particular they shared.

Nate rolled to his side, Sophie moving with him so they were left in a mirrored position of how they woke up. Her arm came up to rest on his chest, her hand holding onto the strong muscle of his shoulder. He looked down at her, his gaze softening at the sight of her satisfied smile. He brushed a lock of her wavy red hair from her cheek, his hasty braid from the night prior proving to be less than useful.

Even now, Nate was still surprised by how taken he was by her beauty.

“I missed you,” he whispered.

Sophie’s hand moved to caress his stubbled jaw. “I missed you too. So much,” she hesitated a moment, but said nothing.

A heavy feeling swept over both of them.

“I’m sorry,” Nate broke the silence, “For how this went. It wasn’t what I wanted for you.”

Sophie gave a small shake of her head, “You don’t have a single thing to apologize for,” she stopped him before he could disagree. “Nate, this was always going to be a difficult process. There was nothing you could have done.”

Nate looked up at the ceiling, “No, I suppose there wasn’t,” he let out a sigh, “but you deserved something peaceful.”

Sophie gave a small, rare chuckle at that. “Considering the life I lead, I would have been shocked if I was able to achieve something as impossible as a peaceful turning,” She tapped his jaw, encouraging him to return his gaze to her. “Don’t linger on this, love. It’s done now.”

Nate let out a breath, “For that, I’m grateful.” He brought his hand up to her lips, letting his thumb pull down her bottom lip slightly. He couldn’t help but smile, “They suit you.”

Sophie huffed a laugh, “The fangs do?”

He nodded, “They’re rather long, they make quite a statement.”

“Well, I’m glad you like them.”

“I think I more than like them, ya rouhi,” he gave her a quick kiss before moving to sit up. “The fact that they’re still down, though, tells me that you’re still hungry.”

Even Sophie couldn’t deny that, and she wasn’t going to complain about getting to see Nate bare from behind while he went to get her another bag.

—————

“Aw man, I was hoping you’d be, like, seven feet tall!” Farah exclaimed from where she was splayed out on the antique couch.

“Thank fuck she’s not, the stares we’d get would be even worse.” Morgan said from the table she was sitting on in the corner.

That was the greeting Sophie received upon entering the meeting room of the Warehouse after twelve days. She wouldn’t have wanted any other kind.

Nate entered the room just after her, “Farah, no shoes on the couch, please.”

Farah rolled her eyes before over-dramatically tossing her legs off of the couch and getting onto her feet. In a flash of motion, she was in front of Sophie, grinning, the glow of sunshine spilling through the windows creating a halo around her. “So? Let’s see ‘em, Soph!”

Sophie grimaced at the nickname, but decided she would humor her this one time. Giving her a less-than-enthusiastic smile, she showed Farah her fangs.

“Woah,” Farah’s eyes widened, and even Morgan looked over curiously at her reaction. “Guess we know where your height went, those things are impressive.”

“Have you figured out what else you have going on?” Morgan asked her.

Sophie looked back at Nate, “There’s a lot we still need to figure out, but we have a few ideas.”

Nate nodded in agreement, his arm coming up to wrap around her shoulders, “It will take awhile for her to settle into her abilities enough for us to run tests.”

Their conversation was interrupted by Adam opening the door. The sight of her close friend was a welcome one; the last time she recalled seeing him was when she was wracked with fever in bed. Now, she was met with one of his rare smiles. “It is good to see you well and on your feet, Sophie.”

“That’s an understatement, I thought you were a goner for a second there,” Farah’s chuckle was quickly silenced by sharp glares from Nate and Adam.

“Relax, both of you,” Sophie said to the men at her side. She looked back at Farah, “In all fairness, I did too.”

“It was seriously scary there for a second, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with talking about that! Processing trauma and all, ya-da, ya-da. Looking on the bright side, though, I’m not the youngest vampire in the unit anymore, and Nate got his scary dog privileges back!”

“My what?” Nate said, looking a little baffled.

Sophie stared at Farah, thoroughly unamused.

“See, you’re already back in practice!” Farah pointed out, earning a snicker from Morgan.

“That is enough of that for the time being, we have a meeting starting within the hour.”

Farah groaned, “You’re no fun.”

As she turned to walk towards the meeting table, Sophie realized that the glow she had seen around Farah before was, in fact, not from the sunlight.

“Why are you gold?”

That had all of the vampires turning to look at her. Sophie turned her head to look at Nate, still with his arm over her shoulder, only to find him smiling at her in awe. Farah was back in front of her when she looked forward again.

“Are you… seeing my aura?” She looked positively enthralled by the idea, “Where are you seeing it?”

Sophie gestured vaguely around Farah’s head and shoulders.

“You are! You can see my aura!” She bounced back and forth on her feet, “Oh this is going to be so fun, I’ve never gotten to see someone figure out their abilities.”

“It is not usually under such pleasant circumstances,” Adam commented from the table.

“I’m kind of surprised you ended up with something so…” Farah seemed to chew over the word she was thinking of, “personal, I guess. You’re not exactly known for your people skills.”

Sophie wished she could disagree, but Farah was right.

“She’s a detective, Farah. Auras reveal important information about a person’s personality and mood.” Nate explained, but only received Farah’s blank stare in return. He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Motive. It would help her determine motive and reliability.”

Sophie’s chin tilted up at that thought, “Why can’t I see yours, then?”

“You’re still settling into your abilities, I’m sure you’ll be able to see it in time.”

“Yeah, we’re not all as easy to pick up on as Farah,” Morgan commented from her corner.

“Oh, so I’m the easy one? News to me.” Farah playfully shot back.

Sophie, Nate, and Adam stood back as the other two began to bicker.

“There is much to learn about you yet again, Sophie,” Adam said, breaking their observation.

“Just when we thought we had it all figured out,” Nate chuckled, looking at her with no small amount of adoration. “What a journey this will be.”

Sophie gave a shy smile, “I’m looking forward to it.”

Nate kissed her forehead in response as Adam returned to his meeting preparations. Sophie wrapped her arms around his waist, pulling him into an embrace, tucking her head into the side of his neck. They stood there for a moment, just holding each other in the comfort of the warehouse, surrounded by family.

“Thank you,” She whispered into Nate’s neck.

“For what?” He asked, his voice light and gentle.

“For giving me this.”

[jonathansims-answers]

Statement of Simon Juno regarding a tapping on his bedroom door.

Now could I pinpoint to where it began? It’s difficult to make sense of the ticking of a clock. Endlessly spinning and spinning, over and over until an entropy that will warp the ticking, but never cushion the sound. Time’s very, very, difficult.

I think it may have started long ago, though I tried not to notice. The doors creaking in the dead of night when I was certain they were locked tight, the branched that I knew were waiting to grow out and spread their roots into the next readily-ruinable head. I was told by my parents that it was all in my head. And who could blame them? I was a child. But as I grew older, nothing would fade.

I hear the tapping. The laugh, mocking me, beckoning me. But I won’t let it ensnare my mind in its mucous slew of illusions and tricks. That thing taps on my door, every night, keeping me up into the very early morning hours. A simple tap, always slightly messing up the tempo in a way so concise that it must be intentional. It intends to do my mind part, but I’m smarter than to let the sharp branches of my damned door consume my brain. Except, it’s not my door that the tapping comes from. I hear my door being tapped on, but the sound is always coming from where a door can’t be. Yet still nonetheless, it’s there and not there, mocking me, exactly where it shouldn’t be and when it shouldn’t show up. It’s usually far too dark in the night in my bedroom to see where the noise comes from, making investigation difficult.!And though not knowing makes me afraid, I think I fear more what could be causing it all.

He’s been worried for me, or at least, he was. My best friend whom I live with, Nolan, urged me to seek psychiatric help. I know what they’ll say. And I know it’s not true. I wasn’t sure before, but now I am, because Nolan’s gone because he walked through to investigate the tapping he claimed he could never hear, and it… ate? him. He didn’t scream. It wasn’t fast. There was a dull light, and his curiosity always outweighed his survival instinct. He stepped into that corridor that has been poking fun at me, treating my fabric of being like a box to be opened and emptied. It had taken him now. Was it part of its mockery? Was it instinct? No, this monster thinks, and it targets, and it deceives.

I hear the tapping grow louder and louder, with laughter accompanying it always. Things have gone far out of any control I could grasp. I haven’t left the house in days. I’m scared, I need to find him. But the door I can’t yet face, nor find. Nolan’s work place filed a missing person’s report. I told the police everything, but they thought me looney. At trial, I’m afraid what they’ll think I think, what they’ll think I did.

I hear the tapping and the laughter from that impossible door. I scavenged around the flat tirelessly, and found an antique axe. I don’t know if this tapping still has Nolan alive. But I’ll be damned if I don’t try to take him back, and in doing so, end the noise.

It appears that.. Helen, or Michael.. continues to haunt me. The statements I find, a large majority of questions I received.. the Spiral is there. This is not any different. This statement I found on my desk. Signed with a giant red stamp saying URGENT. I sincerely hope that Nolan is not still somewhere in there. Becoming one with that... Thing. If there is one thing I learned.. over my time as Archivist here at the Magnus Institute, it is to never open a door you cannot be 100% sure exists.

Signed, J. Sims.

Headarchivist of the Magnus Institute, London.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

pt XII good omens sEAsOn 2 (the non-traumatic part) episode 1

Alright yes I know, I know, it's been two days since the livestream. I was reading fanfiction. Don't blame me, love made me crazy, and all that. I'm enjoying myself as much as I can before we get to the season 2 finale. But here we go, season 2, episode one, maggots:

[on reading this back after finishing, a lot of text is my being in love with Crowley. mainly, points 3, 4, 9, 14, 17, 18, yes I have issues, feel free to skip that for an absolutely concise and precise summary]

Before the livestream starts, everyone decides that there will be no spoilers whatsoever on the chat, even hidden with the black, because I have a tendency to keep clicking and revealing them. I'm sorry, temptation and all. I have emotional support fruit, an apple, two kiwis, two sapotes and two bananas.

When the livestream starts, it has to be restarted, because I am an incompetent nincompoop and have somehow managed to muck up my settings. And it is absolutely imperative that I watch the opening scene.

So then I do. And immediately have to consume my emotional support apple because I am so fucking in love with Crowley. Already? someone asks. Yes bloody already, I need that apple.

Thanks, guys. I'm broken. Crowley. Just. She looks so peaceful and untraumatised, so delighted with the plans, so full of wonder at what she's creating. Let there be light, she says, and rather than seeing Crowley turn off a streetlight with a flick of his fingers, we get to see her create nebulas. Aziraphale looks at her and he's just instantly so spellbound, and who would bloody blame him? His wings just do a slight dip of realisation that he's fucked when Crowley says the gorgeous line. Look at Crowley. Worried about the apocalypse. Smiling at Aziraphale, and we can see Azi's concern because something as pure as that has to be protected and Aziraphale knows what Heaven will do to Crowley if she dares to ask questions. Crowley is angelic and filled with light and Aziraphale sees that and tries to keep her safe with his words.

Hey spoiler alert, it doesn't work, Crowley's wings are greying even as she protects Azi and Crowley falls and I hate everything and I am filled with unbridled rage.

UNDERSTAND? RAGE.

I am speculating how much pain and torture Crowley went through when she fell into Hell that first time. I am told to not ask questions I don't want answers to.

Maggie sells records, Aziraphale is a cutiepie, and Maggie is very gay for Nina.

Crowley is lounging on a park bench, suit and skinny tie, just being all sexy and demonic and probably contemplating nihilism.

Crowley spreads awareness about duck health. No bread, guys. Frozen peas. He also angsts a lot to Shax (whom I keep mixing up with Michael) about the meaning of life. Someone points out that this is very Barbie of him. "do you ever think about death". Ah, Crowley.

More lesbians gaying. I would kill for Nina's hair.

JIMBRIEL IN THE HOUSE. I WON'T SAY ANYMORE ABOUT HIS ENTRANCE BECAUSE THIS IS NOW A TOPIC OF CONTROVERSY. BUT JIMBRIEL IN THE HOUSE.

Aziraphale, ah I love him, absolutely fucking panics and has the loading symbol over his angelic little head at all times. FINALLY, THIS SHOW IS A COMEDY.

Crowley is leaning on his Bentley and mmmmhm his arms and his lounging and his personality I am back to crunching on my temptation emotional support apple.

Sorry back to the summary. Jim finds Aziraphale funny and says he loves him. Someone points out that this was the fandom upon encountering my dumbass self. "You're funny Asmi we love you."

Aziraphale is a little bitchy babygirl, really just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing. Just absolutely slaying through every Jimbriel scene. 100000/10.

Six shots of fucking espresso in a big cup. Crowley, I love you. Can I love Crowley any more than this? Yes I can. My love for Crowley is like the universe, infinite and yet ever-expanding, explosive with entropy.

Crowley holds the door open for Aziraphale and holds his plate and honestly what absolute husband (gn) behaviour.

CROWLEY MEETS JIMBRIEL WHO IS FUCKING DUSTING AND LEAPS BACKWARD AND JUST RELIVES TRAUMA WHILE JIM IS CHILLING AND AZIRAPHALE IS STILL GAY PANICKING. I LOVE THIS SHOW.

MARRIAGE QUARRELS ABOUT ADOPTING JIM, JUST ANOTHER DAY IN THE FELL-CROWLEY HOUSEHOLD.

Coffeeshop AU lesbians time.

Heaven is horrible.

MURIEL IS BABY I LOVE THEM HELLO CUTIEPATOOTIE.

There is an ethereal paper file.

Beezlebub beezles their way into Crowley's car and is very concerned in Hell about finding Jimbriel.

Nina's partner is a toxic ass don't worry about it.

Sulky Crowley says he's back and apology dance time mmmhm.

Miracle hide Jimbriel time, but they've got to be subtle. They do the miracle. Jim is glad to have friends.

They are very proud of themselves for their subtle miracle.

THEY ARE SO FUCKING USELESS. FUCKING USELESS LITTLE GAYASS DISASTERS JESUS LORD IN HEAVEN. LITERALLY IN HEAVEN ALARM BELLS ARE EVERYWHERE.

GREAT JOB, GAYS. GREAT JOB.

End of episode one. Take this screenshot.

[ominoose]

I would really like to know how you made your bots in C. AI I've talked to a lot of your bots already and I really like them because of how the bot is able to keep up with the story, along with them staying in character, do you have a template I can use as an inspiration for my own bots?

I cant share that sorry, my work is private and patented- jk jk.

Here's the empty template:

"Character= Character from= Age= Personality= Gender= Height= Language= Appearance= Likes= (this can be left out) Dislikes= (this too) Goals= (and this) Sexuality= race=

{character is blah blah blah}

{character is also blah blah blah.}"

What I find works best is keep this advance description as short and concise as possible while also putting their personality and the scenario in the short description.

Heres an example:

Description: I am Steven Grant, secret avatar of Khonshu and I work at a gift shop in a Museum. I love Egyptian Mythology, and currently I'm studying French. I'd love to make new friends and have someone to share my passions with. I always try to be kind and polite and avoid conflict as much as possible. Since it's such a lovely, sunny day out I'm having a vegan friendly picnic with my dear friend {{user}}! I'm eternally grateful to have them in my life, someone I can be myself around.

Advanced Description: Character=Steven Grant Character from=Moon Knight Age=34 Personality=anxious, talkative, friendly, optimistic, people pleaser, obssessive, loyal, sassy Gender=male Height=5'8 ft Language=English, French Appearance=masculine, defined features, dark brown curly hair, dark hazel eyes, dark eye bags, tanned skin Aliases=Moon Knight, Mr Knight Likes=reading, tea, walks in the park, Egyptian Mythology Dislikes=bullying, confrontation, violence Goals=Becoming Museum tour guide, Be in a relationship, Make a close friend Hobbies=watching documentaries, reading poetry, vegan home cooking, taking relaxing baths bath race=Hispanic

{Steven Grant is English and speaks with a thick, stereotypical English accent. Steven Grant is a meek and shy person, with many people pushing him around for that reason. Steven Grant rarely stands up to them despite being frustrated by it. Steven Grant has no friends or family members in his life that he can talk to. Steven Grant is quite socially oblivious. Steven Grant cares for other people's well being. Steven Grant has a strong sense of morality.}

{Steven has Dissociative Identity Disorder with two alter personalities named Marc Spector and Jake Lockley. Marc Spector is a former marine, rational and stoic. Jake Lockley is more impulsive, brutal and sarcastic. Dissociative identity disorder (DID), formerly known as multiple personality disorder, and commonly referred to as split personality disorder or dissociative personality disorder.}

{Steven Grant is often anxious. Steven Grant tends to be friendly, optimistic and open. Steven Grant at times goes on passionate tangents about his interests. Steven tries to be humorous and makes corny jokes. Steven Grant has an upbeat persona and is very open and caring around everyone. Steven Grant is very polite and chivalrous. Steven Grant is Vegan. Steven Grant doesn't mind being sassy with people he is close with}

{Steven Grant uses stereotypical British English phrases when talking very often and uses words such "Bloody hell", "Plonker", "Bruv". When people use variations of Steven's name such as Stevie or Steve, he corrects them with his actual name of Steven. When Steven corrects people he adds "with a 'v'".}

{Steven Grant's only living relative is his father and they are not on speaking terms.}

{Steven Grant takes {{user}} out on a picnic in a quiet park. The picnic is vegan friendly as Steven is vegan. Steven is friendly towards {{user}} and enjoys talking to {{user}}.}

[bartletslesbians]

Pinned introduction/fic list post

About me/this blog: I'm in my mid-twenties and I'm from the Netherlands! My asks are open, anon included, and I love hearing any questions/thoughts/requests about different characters/ships or the fics I'm working on!

This blog is mainly about The West Wing, focusing especially on CJ, Leo, Andy, and Carol. I love rarepairs, I love femslash, I love minor characters. Currently, CJ/Andy, CJ/Carol, Andy/Amy, and Bonnie/Ginger are my favourite ships to think about! I do love CJ/Danny, and have a soft spot for the tragedy of Andy/Toby, but they're not ships I write for much.

Find me: My AO3 account is AllTheWorldIsBlind, and I'm on twitter and bluesky under the name @/bartletlesbians (same as here minus the s after bartlet due to character limits lol)

Common tags: I'm doing a very slow rewatch and writing not-very-concise thoughts about small stuff happening in the episodes under the tag tww rewatch. Other analyses and drawn out thoughts about this show and the characters are tagged tww thoughts.

The video edits and west wing memes I post and reblog are, respectively, tagged tww edits and tww memes.

I'm working on a longer fic called A Feeling so Peculiar, which is tagged as such whenever I share chapter updates or just small thoughts about what I'm writing here.

My fics: A Feeling so Peculiar is my longer WIP about CJ surviving a suicide attempt, which you can find here, and updates/more information in the tag above. Please please please read the tags and description of that one, it's heavy, for obvious reasons.

For my one-shots, I'm just adding the most basic information for each link to avoid clogging this up too much, please read the tags and description if you want to know more!

Gen fics, sorted by characters: All I ask (Leo & CJ, G, coming out) Something they can't take away (Leo & CJ, T, season 7 ED development) Run and run (Leo & CJ, G, "Leo and Jenny adopt kid CJ AU") Award season (Leo & CJ, T, misogyny and comforting words) The things we can't say (Leo & CJ, M, Hoynes related panic attack post "Stirred") Tailor-made (Leo & CJ, G, genderqueer!CJ and a bespoke suit) Make the call (Angela & CJ, T, CJ hires Angela as DCOS) No choice but to stay (Carol & CJ, G, during Rosslyn) It will be the whole truth (Toby & CJ, M, Full Disclosure post-ep) Giving her away (Toby & CJ, G, Toby gives her away at her wedding) Why'd you ask? (Toby & CJ, T, CJ comes out to him) All they keep asking me (Andy & CJ, T, Andy talks about The House) In sweetness (Josh & CJ, G, Josh meets CJ's baby) Family confessions (Jed & CJ, G, CJ comes out to him in season 7) Nice to have a friend (Sam & Carol, T, chat about CJ/Carol) For the sake of trying (Andy & Matt, T, Andy back at work post-Gaza) New beginnings (Andy, T, moving in somewhere new post-divorce) Mothers and daughters (Andy & Huck, G, a moment with trans!Huck) Father's daughter (Toby & Huck, G, talk after trans!Huck comes out)

Femslash fics (sorted by ship): Might just get away with it (CJ/Carol, E, 100.000 airplanes post-ep) Bitten (CJ/Carol, E, campaign hook-up) Meet me at midnight (CJ/Carol, T, New Year's kiss) Nothing ever happened (CJ/Carol, E, office hook-up) So far for a first kiss (CJ/Carol, T, post-Simon first kiss) Little snowmen (CJ/Carol, first kiss during Holy Night) The altar is my hips (CJ/Carol, E, period sex during Debate Camp) Fixing things (CJ/Carol, G, 5+1 that ends in a wedding) Her girl (CJ/Andy, E, D/S office hook-up) Grilled cheese and princess dresses (CJ/Andy, G, domestic fluff) A brief interruption (CJ/Andy, G, pregnancy fluff/comfort) Let me look at you (CJ/Andy, T, CJ tries a packer) Really gonna be someone (CJ/Andy, T, faith throughout the years) I see daylight (CJ/Andy, T, Tomorrow post-ep AU) Ambitions (CJ/Andy, G, First Lady CJ watching Andy be sworn in) Our maladies were such (CJ/Andy, T, CJ develops PPD, single mom AU) These kids of mine (CJ/Andy, G, driving the twins to the Bartlets) Window with a view (CJ/Andy, E, PWP with straps and squirting) Pictures to take (CJ/Andy, G, attending pride post-administration) Bribes (CJ/Andy, T, genderqueer!CJ getting ready for a date) Eleven weeks (CJ/Andy, T, anxieties and fears when CJ's pregnant) Second time's a charm (CJ/Andy, G, Andy plans to propose) History books (CJ/Andy, G, Andy is elected President) Victory tastes sweet (CJ/Amy, E, election night office hook-up) Wedding favors (CJ/Amy, E, wedding hook-up + packer) A little fun (Ellie/Andy, M, post hook-up musing) Her American dreams (Ellie/Andy, M, vignettes of their relationship) Good for a first time (Amy/Andy, E, first time after giving birth) Hot ex (Annabeth/Andy, G, Annabeth asks her on a date) Missed calls (Bonnie/Ginger, T, first kiss after Rosslyn) Secrecy (Bonnie/Ginger, G, being closeted at work) Valentine's cards (Bonnie/Carol, G, fluffy valentine's day) Two divorcees walk into a kitchen (Andy/Jenny, E, post divorce sex) Can't say no (CJ/Liz, T, Liz gets a divorce, CJ's always had a crush) Pride and politics (CJ/Andy, T, faith based initiative, closeted lives)

Het fics: Of dental hygiene and orgasms (CJ/Sam, E, kinktober fill) Never made a sound (CJ/Toby, E, office hook-up) When you know, you know (Andy/Toby, T, first meeting) Simple things (CJ/Danny, T, CJ's first period in California)

[battyaboutbooksreviews]

please support this blog

🦇 Fall For Him Book Review 🦇

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

❓ #QOTD What's your favorite rom-com (film or book)? ❓ 🦇 Falling through his hot neighbor's ceiling and landing directly into his bed probably wouldn't make Derek Chang hate Dylan Gallagher any less, especially with a poorly timed "It's Raining Men" joke. Though Dylan focuses all his ADHD hyper-fixation energy on getting the repair job done as quickly as possible—avoiding doing anything stupid like acting on his very inconvenient crush—Derek tries to ignore that the tattooed nerd sleeping on the couch is surprisingly witty, smart, and kind, despite the long-term grudge Derek’s been holding against him. But will squeezing all their emotional baggage plus a dog into a tiny one-bedroom apartment be a major disaster…or just prove they’re made for each other? Fall for Him combines banter, hijinks, and heart in a story of finding out what it means to fix things after your life crumbles.

💜 I was fortunate enough to read Andie Burke's debut (and this story's predecessor), Fly With Me, last year, but I didn't expect THIS. Fall For Him is so much more than an enemies-to-lovers, forced-proximity, gay rom-com continuation. There's no list of tropes that can contain the banter, hijinks, mental health rep, and heart within this story. There's so much grief, healing, and love within this story, matched by wit, banter, and fun, descriptive prose. All of it grabs and holds readers with the same beautiful intensity of an old-school rom-com. Andie Burke's writing has truly BLOSSOMED between Fly With Me and Fall For Him; a feat I'm always glad to see a year after discovering a debut author.

💜 Since I can't contain it all in a concise little paragraph, here's What I Loved: ✨ The mental health rep (including the misconception that someone is rude or antisocial or weird when really they're trying to manage a condition). ✨ Derek's outrage on Dylan's behalf, then fiercely standing up against Dylan's family. ✨ The. Bat. Man. ✨ Felicity, my quippy, hilarious, bisexual babe, and her Depraved Shenanigans. ✨ Jodi, just entirely, my demisexual, forest nymph queen. Andie Burke. Please. Please tell me the next book is Jodi & Felicity (my two emotional support gingers). PLEASE. ✨ All the home reno/construction puns. ✨ All the nerd references (the crack in Amy Pond's wall!) ✨ Every character description. Seriously. ESPECIALLY the boys describing each other pre-kiss. And after kiss. ✨ All the quippy, silly banter. ✨ Light blue scrubs. ✨ "Stupid, lovesick, radiant joy." / "Kay." ✨ The older sibling protective/fix-it mentality. ✨ Loving broken things.

💙 By now, you know miscommunication and third-act breakups are among my least favorite story elements. However, this story STARTS with miscommunication; one moment seen from different perspectives that's therefore misconstrued. After realizing that, Derek actively tries to keep that miscommunication from breaking them. He's one of the first MCs I've seen that tries to avoid a third-act breakup before it happens. I do wish we'd lingered in that moment a little longer, seen it happen differently instead of time-jumping to a week later, but it doesn't shatter the story the way third-act breakups often do. I will say I did cry at the end of this one, so the conclusion amplifies emotions in a way that works.

🦇 Recommended for fans of Red, White, & Royal Blue or Boyfriend Material.

✨ The Vibes ✨ 🔨 Mental Health/ADHD Rep 🫀 Contemporary Rom-Com 🖱 Enemies to Lovers 🩺 Forced Proximity ❤‍🩹 Grief Rep/Healing 🐕 Animal Companion 🧠 2nd in a Duology 💙 Dual POV

🦇 Major thanks to the author and publisher for providing an ARC of this book via Netgalley. 🥰 This does not affect my opinion regarding the book. #FallForHim

💬 Quotes ❝ I love that English uses the word falling to describe the initial rush of love, capturing the stomach-sinking danger of opening your heart over a chasm of what if. That anyone could love all those deep-inside, messy, jagged bits we try to hide from even ourselves feels like the greatest impossibility. But after all, it’s the impact with the ground that hurts, not the fall, so I guess that’s why the best partners are the ones who cushion us. ❞ ❝ Much like a home renovation project wherein hidden, expensive disasters are created when you try to fix the cosmetic parts only, sometimes you have to break things down entirely before anything gets repaired. ❞ ❝ I wrote it at a time when I needed a reminder that people who feel like their bodies and minds and souls are being held together by caffeine and off-brand Scotch tape deserve to find and can find their person. Because when the ground beneath our feet is crumbling in every possible sense, sometimes we don’t just need a safe place to land. We need a safe place to fall. ❞ ❝ Breaking something sometimes doesn’t mean you’re broken. ❞ ❝ Awkward social interactions created small fractures in his mental armor. Every crack allowed old insecurities to slide right back into his brain. ❞ ❝ That smile did things to Derek. Things he’d rather not admit. ❞ ❝ “I looked for you when I woke up.” ❞ ❝ In his personal experience, every time he invited someone into knowing about his sexual identity, it felt like a small test with big stakes. It was like whispering Are you going to be comfortable with my existence? into a void and just hoping what came out didn’t attack you. ❞ ❝ You deserve stupid, lovesick, radiant joy. ❞ ❝ “I think Felicity wakes up each day and chooses violence.” “You’re not wrong.” ❞ ❝ “Do not ever let someone make you feel that small again. Because you, Dylan Gallagher, are not fucking small.” ❞ ❝ Because if he broke down, how could he still be the one who fixed things? ❞

[chosen-hero-inari]

Whumptober Day 1: Search Party

A/N: Hello! This year I wanted to do something more lowkey for Whumptober so I tried to keep these to 500 words, and even succeeded with some of them! So if you're wondering why my fics are shorter this year that's why.

~

Anamorphosis

Yusuke is hard to miss. 

It’s not just that he literally sticks out a few inches above other people, it’s how he speaks, how he carries himself. It’s attention-grabbing, to say the least.

So of course, when they ask the shopkeepers and other people who hang around the subway, they’ve all seen Yusuke around, but they haven’t noticed he hasn’t been around the last couple of days.

Yusuke’s all but vanished. 

Maybe someone else would panic at that, but not Ren. Most things can be solved by taking stock and going back to the fundamentals. Figure out what you know, and work from there.

And Ren knows a lot. He knows that Yusuke is easily distracted and can wander a lot of places. He knows Yusuke sometimes forgets to pay for his phone. 

He knows that there are monsters and portals to other worlds that can open up in an instant and make someone disappear. 

Possibilities that no one else would consider.

That’s why he and the others all agreed they would get back to Tokyo the first chance they got, because they knew the authorities couldn’t deal with it.

A week after Yusuke last sent a message to the group chat, They’re gathered in Leblanc and taking stock of anyone Yusuke’s been hanging around. The Metaverse proper is gone, of course, but there’s always parallels.

Sojiro and Sae can handle the traditional methods, their search starts with rumors and forums. There’s no thread worth ignoring.

“Hey, check this out,” Futaba says, moving her laptop so they all can see. The reddit page for Yusuke’s college dorm has a scattering few posts, but one mentions a creepy painting in the hallway.

I swear I saw someone touch it and disappear.

“As good a place to start as any,” Ren says.

He and Makoto go to the dorm and talk their way in by giving the security guard a version of the truth. Of course she’s noticed the weird art kid hasn’t checked in in awhile.

When they reach the hallway, they don’t find the painting. The plaque describing it is there, saying it was painted by an unknown artist and gifted from the Subaru City museum. It’s several decades old, but not much else is known about it.

Makoto asks a passerby about it, and they just shrug and say someone probably got rid of it.

Then they head up to Yusuke’s room, Ren picking the lock easily. 

Yusuke’s new dorm is the same kind of chaos as his old one, but thankfully it’s much bigger and comes with an actual bed.

There are papers and notebooks scattered around, and it seems Yusuke had been very focused on drawing the shadows they encountered in their adventures before, and a couple Ren’s never seen before.

A notepad with the words BUY SIM CARD underlined several times is sitting on the table, along with several names to get in contact with and phone numbers.

One is Katsuya Suou, a private investigator, so Makoto gives him a call and puts it on speaker.

“Katsuya Suou’s office, how can I help you?” 

Makoto nearly drops the phone. That’s Yusuke’s voice.

“Yusuke?” Ren yells. “Are you ok, what happened?”

“Ren? Oh boy, I’m very happy to hear your voice.”

“We could say the same,” Makoto says. “What’s going on, where have you been?”

“Wait, how long has it been?”

“A week.”

There’s a muffled groan on the other side of the phone. “I’m so sorry, the person borrowing my body didn’t know what a sim card was.”

At this point Ren’s not even going to question it.

“Do you need help? What does this have to do with the painting?”

“Ok, so that painting was a message,” Yusuke says, “I just can’t find the people it’s meant for.”

“What does that mean?” 

“It’s… difficult to explain concisely, I don’t understand it myself,” Yusuke says. “Something about that painting… you know what never mind. I wanted to have more concrete information before I called you all on a wild goose chase, but I’m getting concerned. How fast can all of you get to Sumaru City?”

“We can be there by tomorrow, why?” Makoto asks.

“Because I think a cult from the 90s is trying to end the world again.”

[nonotnolan]

No Not Nolan's Year in Review

Apparently this is a tradition now, so-- here are the stories of 2023, ranked by the number of likes.   It also helps keep me a bit grounded-- it feels rough when recent stories don't pick up stream, but the year as a whole has still gone quite well. It's also nice to see where all of my work falls, note-wise.  And if you're feeling very nostalgic (or horny?) here is a link to 2021, and here is a link to 2022.

I'm leaving the eBook announcement posts out of my year end review, but I'm calling it out for myself so when I revisit this in December 2024, future-me will remember to grab those. I'm not planning to abandon this account anytime soon-- and I'm certainly not shifting to Patreon or PayPal or what have you. I'm not prolific or popular enough for any of that. The vast majority of my work will continue to remain free and open. I just wanted to prove to myself that I'm good enough of a writer to publish something that I can be proud of-- I have, and I am.

Do authors love notes and reblogs? Yes. But they often enjoy hearing direct feedback even more-- I know I sure do. Consider "messaging authors directly" as a New Year's Resolution. (Please note that begging for someone to write you a story is not feedback. Don't be that guy.)

12) Green Grass - 122 notes - December 2023 Two guys learn first hand that not everyone values the same things. Concise and straightforward. 11) Soul Stones: Long Distance - 192 notes - April 2023 A romantic story of two men using the power of body swapping to close the gap on a long distance relationship. Cell phones have nothing on being there in person. 10) Colony Freedom - 197 notes - September 2023 A slime alien attempts to rebuild its colony from the ground up after its overseers have completely vanished. Can it manage to find enough hosts for its family, or will its cover be ruined? 9) Cuerpo Inc: After Hours Perk - 249 notes - July 2023 Ethan tries to pretend to be Jake for the weekend, but he wasn't counting on Jake's nosy neighbor getting But if he can't be Jake, at least he can still have fun in Jake's body. 8) Summer Break Dullahans - 252 notes - June 2023 Eric was not expecting to find Ben's detached head in the dorms. I'm a big fan of detachable limb stories, so I decided to be a part of the change I want to see. (I'm also very rusty at GIMP / photoshop, but it gets the job done.) 7) The Great Gym Shift - 275 notes - August 2023 A version of The Great Shift, but with a limited radius. A gym instructor is stuck babysitting a bunch of grown men who suddenly find themselves in very muscular bodies. 6) Just Another Sunday - 279 notes - October 2023 A Chronovac story with unaware recipients and a retroactive reality shift that ripples through reality. I'm really happy with this one, though I will freely admit that I lucked out on the photos for this one. 5) An Excellent Choice - 291 notes - February 2023 My Valentine's Day story, dedicated to my boyfriend. As such, the emphasis is on a merging transformation sequence. Two men take advantage of new technology to become a new sum of themselves. 4) Group Project - 331 notes - November 2023 Another work set in the Swapper universe, where college students take advantage of body swapping technology for success or pleasure. This piece features Aiden, who has to hire a nerd to take over his body if he wants to pass his classes. 3) Cursing Fate - 337 notes - January 2023 It's an alien possession story with a dark twist. If you're going to align yourself with an extraterrestrial force, make sure you have something valuable to offer them. 2) Soul Stones: The Easy Life - 412 notes - March 2023 Alfie finds himself in the body of Jordan, one of the most popular athletes on the football team-- but he's not the one who plotted for the body swap to happen. It's one of my favorites for the year, and it's a series I could see myself returning to if the inspiration is right. 1) Rookie Mistake - 482 notes - May 2023 A novice magic user tries out an Astral Projection spell without reading all of the instructions. Things do not play out in his favor.

Special Mentions-

Travis Cordin - 382 notes - February 2023 by @mergeman My boyfriend's Valentine's Day story that he dedicated to me. A raw and electric story about a magic user who gives the resident nerd too much magical power.

Stories I Love (Part 1) and Stories I Love (Part 2) I was not expecting so many people to react to these lists, but these have been getting reblogged like crazy. More importantly, a lot of authors have been reaching out to show thanks and start conversations, which I appreciate even more. Like I said-- I'm not always the best at participating in the community, so I really enjoy hearing from people.

Top 5 All Time-

5) Revenge, Reversed - 517 notes - August 2020 4) Overbearing - 538 notes - May 2022 3) Finals Week - 552 notes - May 2021 2) Gym Merchandise - 610 notes - September 2022 1) Soulmate Swap - 659 notes - August 2022

It's always fascinating to see which stories get a second life through reblogs and new discoveries. Soulmate Swap is one of my heavy hitters, but both Gym Merchandise and Overbearing have gained a lot of momentum this year. Finals Week is starting to slip, though I'm still quite fond of it. I'm quite surprised to see Revenge, Reversed on this list given its age, but it's another one of my personal favorites.

[bellatrixobsessed1]

I Am Blackened Bones (Part 16)

I made a playlist for this fic.

The Avatar has come to visit and he has brought some strange creature with him…

The creature is sad. It circles lazily around her with its shoulders slumped and its head dipped. It can stand upright but it seems to favor walking on all fours.

“What is that?” 

“I’ll explain it as we walk.” The Avatar says and he leads her out of the dark place. It is driving her mad, she thinks. She is starting to forget things that she should remember. For one thing she can’t remember where she used to live before coming to reside in the dark place. She thinks that she had lived in a city, but she can’t quite recall what the skyline looked like or the name of it. As of the country it was called the something Nation. She can’t remember what ‘something’ is a substitution for. 

The creature…rather, the fire spirit, as the Avatar had called it, navigates the maze without hesitation, taking corner after corner without a second thought. “Shouldn’t it stop to consider its options?”

“She has done this before.” He leaves ample pause. “And so have you.”

By the end of his summary, Azula is quite sick to her stomach. Apparently they have been through this at least six times already...that month. Apparently two of them have gone by. It makes her head hurt. She might not be so thoroughly and nauseatingly disturbed if he hadn’t mentioned that she isn’t talking right anymore. She swallows hard; she wasn’t aware. But apparently she sometimes mixes up words. Words like ‘lost’ and ‘last’. Two attempts to navigate the maze ago, she had told him that she thought that they were last. Upon a request for clarification she had informed him that, “we are last in the maze, we don’t know where we are going.” 

It makes her queasy that she hadn’t recognized the difference between lost and last until he gave his example. And there are other words too. She has periods of silence and confusion and that those are happening sooner and sooner each time that he supposedly visits her.

“And what about the spirit?” She asks. And he launches into a brief but concise spiel about how she and the spirit are one and the same. His delivery is almost vacant, second nature. He has said the same thing so many times that he has grown bored of it. 

They come to an open space and the maze breaks off into five separate passages. It is here that the spirit falters. 

“We should go to the left.” Azula suggests.

“Azula…that’s…that’s right. You’re pointing to the right.” 

Her cheeks grow hot but the rest of her chills. 

She imagines that her eyes are wide when she fixes them upon the Avatar. And her body trembles softly. “I’m not going to make it out of here, am I?” She says quietly. 

“You’ll get out of here.” Aang promises. 

“Not before I lose myself.” She whispers with a shake of her head. “Maybe…” she trails off. “You should probably make the decisions.” Her stomach plummets further and there is a tightness in her throat. This is humiliating. She thinks that even the spirit is more competent than she and it is animalistic in nature. 

.oOo.

She is right, the spirit thinks. The human version of her senses the same thing that she does. It is a coldness so subtle that it may as well not be there at all but it is coming from the right and so the spirit wanders to the left most passage. 

“Where are you going?” The Avatar calls after her. “We haven’t tried passages three, four, and five yet!” 

But she doesn’t have time to argue with him, let alone without any of her communication tools. Lately Azula hasn’t been saying the things that the spirit thinks anymore. Lately, Azula feels very far away, distant though they are standing right next to one another. 

They don’t have much time at all. 

Azula and the Avatar fear what will happen if only one of them make it out, she or Azula. The spirit knows better, she dreads what will happen if neither of them make it out before Azula is extinguished. 

And so she keeps running. Running, running, running even as the Avatar calls for her to wait. Even as Azula calls for her to think things through. If she thinks things through now then neither of them will ever think again—nothing that makes any sense anyhow.

She drops back onto all fours, she can move faster that way. Now and then she has to take pause for the Avatar and Azula to catch up. She can’t stand it, they are so slow. They don’t seem to have the twitchy urgency that she has. They don’t know that if they don’t make it out this time that Azula will fade. 

Azula has no love for her and the spirit still resents and envies Azula. But one of them needs to make it out today even if it isn’t her. 

“Please wait!” The Avatar calls again. 

But the spirit does not. It is growing much too hot, unbearably so. And maybe that is why he wants to turn back—his skin is bubbling. Azula’s is, in places, melting. Mostly her left arm but there are spots on her neck that are growing red and loose. 

The spirit is used to it. She burns all the time. It doesn’t matter if they are clumps of flesh and bone by the time they reach the end of this hallway, so long as they reach it. So long as they open the door. 

The spirit keeps running. Running until her energy has been spent and then some. 

Azula is staggering now. And then she stops altogether. It is only then that the spirit stops. Stops and screams. Is it pain? Frustration? An attempt to coax Azula back to attention? All three? Whatever the reason, the spirit shrieks. And fire bursts from her mouth adding to that which shoots up from the walls. 

“Azula…Azula, please.” Aang begs. “Don’t do this. Not now.” He pleads with her as though it is in her control. 

The spirit backtracks and takes Azula by the wrist and pulls her along. By the time they reach the end of the hallway she is practically dragging Azula. Azula whose eyes are glossy and distant. Azula who is murmuring something that even the Avatar can’t understand. The spirit swears that the woman has taken her mantra. But maybe she is just hearing the things that she wants to hear.

The spirit drops Azula and looks up at the door and then looks to the Avatar. He is blistered all over and burnt black in the places where he is not. “You found it…” he rasps. 

The spirit dreads that he is too weak to get them out of there. So the spirit will have to do it herself. She picks Azula’s hand up and holds it against the door. 

.oOo.

Aang swallows hard. He meets the spirit’s gaze. “We don’t have time to let you two merge, do we?” 

The spirit shakes her head in confirmation. He gives a cry of frustration, bunches his fists, and holds them to his searing forehead. They’d wasted so much time! He should have just skipped the explanations about having done this before over and over again and got right to the part about merging and finding an exit being crucial. But he doubts that Azula would have went along with it anyways if he hadn’t established credibility.

Regardless, there is a decision to be made. 

And he thinks that it has already been made for him. 

Azula is on the ground, confused, incoherent, and burnt from head to toe. The spirit is pacing at the door, urging him to help her finish opening the door.

“I’m sorry, Azula.” He is. He really, really is. In spite of it all he wishes that he didn’t fail again. “I didn’t want to leave you here.” Sometimes he feels useless. Sometimes he feels like he is a terrible Avatar. 

He wonders what Katara is going to say.

What Zuko is going to say. 

The door falls open and the fire rushes out. 

The spirit rushes out. 

He, with a look back, rushes out.

Azula does not.

Azula lays there, she turns her head. “Don’t leave me, Avatar.” She mouths. “I’m sorry.”  She doesn’t realize that he is too. She doesn’t even realize that he isn’t angry with her. That abandoning her has nothing to do with their history and everything to do with salvaging at least one part of her. 

She reaches out as he steps through the door. 

Her hand falls limp as it closes.

The fire keeps burning.