#I wanna play postal again...

[martyryo]

Dudes from maths notes is all I can offer for now 😵‍💫

[tapeworrmart]

Been kind of uninspired lately but there's jsut soemthing so appealing about charcoal to me rn. I kinda wanna do some lightning or fire or telegraph poles. Smth with a lot of contrast. Idk

[ocellatum-h]

i gotta play all my favorite video game. miss them music so good!

[sil3ntfr34k]

orr p1/p4 as platonic comforting thing…

Platonic!P1 Dude and P4 Dude Comforting Headcanons

(Also matching gifs this is so cool)

Postal 1 Dude

He��s actually the worst person to comfort you. WILL make it worse

Even if your anxious about just going to the grocery store because you don’t feel like socializing, he’s trying to convince you that something bad is going to happen and now you can never go to store at all

“I don’t feel like going…” “Whatdayamean?? Why don’t you want to go? You always wanna go somewhere, what if something is going to happen? It’s waiting for its moment to strike you, to take you from this world. No! You can’t go anymore! Just stay here, it’s safest here than being out there with those… vermin.”

Somehow, he’s spiraling before you,,, He doesn’t even know what the hell is going on, yet he’s in the corner facing the wall and hugging his knees

If it’s really bad, like your having a trauma response kind of bad, he’s making it worse. You could be hyperventilating on the floor, shaking and all, and he will be there crying over your body like your actually dying

Sometimes it feels like he makes it about himself, but it’s just that his anxiety is that bad

Postal 4 Dude

“What the hell is wrong with you🤨⁉️”

Has no idea what’s going on, ever

Has a mini heart attack when he sees you upset and immediately bombards you with questions. “What’s wrong? What happened? Why are you upset? Was it that asshat down the street? Because he was fucking with me yesterday too. I’ll kill him for you I swea-“

You gotta hit him with something soft to shut him up bc he will yap until you forget what the hell you were upset about

If it’s something like a trauma response or panic attack, Dude tries his best to be there but also be at a distance. He read one somewhere that it’s best to give someone who’s having an attack space and to just ‘watch’ over them. It still kills him inside to see you like that, but he knows he can’t do much to help

If he can, Dude will make Champ go sit with you. He’s seen service dogs do that before so in his head it’s a good idea. Until Champ is trying to play with you and is trying to knock you over,,,

Cue Dude dragging Champ back again by the collar, poor guy,,,

Afterwards, he will most definitely try to pry what’s wrong out of you, even if it’s something personal. It’s not that he’s trying to butt into your personal life or make you uncomfortable, he’s just concerned (and curious. What the hell could’ve made you act out like that???)

Overall, he’s okay to go to for comfort, but definitely not the one you should be going to for that. Unless you wanna get incredibly high or drunk (or both) afterwards as a compensation

[thewinterwitcher]

I keep forgetting to post this. Halfish-way through the year and I’m halfway done!! And I’ve completed One Bingo!! YIPPEE!!

Challenge by @batmanisagatewaydrug and also on Storygraph here if you use it (i like it :3)

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Short Story Collection: Objects of Affection by @taylor-titmouse. AAAHHHH extremely good i’ve been eyeballing this one for a minute and I’m really glad I got it as a part of the Sicko’s Selection 2 bundle >:3 (two days left at time of writing! Bundle ends 6/6!)

Sequel: Heavenly Tyrant by @xiranjayzhao. Also have been waiting a hot second for this one, and I found it to be BETTER than its prequel. Please tell me more about complex economic systems and hate-pegging.

Reread a Childhood Fav: Making Money by Terry Pratchett. I accidentally read this one first when I was a kid before Going Postal! It still holds up except for the fatphobia! Which i was not pleased to be reminded of! (Un)fortunately I have realized Moist and I have the same taste in women.

Fantasy: The Lotus Empire by Tasha Shuri. I TORE through the first few books of this series and the conclusions really pulled everything together. I won’t say too much but the journeys these women go on are wild and tense and sexy and satisfying. Read The Burning Kingdom Trilogy for morally dubious women and a fucking incredible setting.

Indie Publisher: Xenosexuality Conference by @taylor-titmouse. It was Taylor’s birthday yesterday so I got this on sale and that was delightfully juicy. Giving me ideas about how to go about writing erotica. Also the tension between Brill not knowing what the aliens were saying, but the reader getting the full translation with commentary from Brill on what she *can* understand. Excellent!!

2025 Debut Author: Careless People by Sarah Wynn-Williams. Well. I worked in tech for a bit. None of this was surprising and it scans like the programming cult i was in for a year and a half. Ouchie oof ow to the brain but good to have read up on with the Facebook/Meta anti-trust case.

Memoir: What My Bones Know by Stephanie Foo. Therapist rec!! I’ve got some quotes from this up on my wall now, but especially “Shame is the opposite of love. [Punishment] is the opposite of love. Forgiveness is love. Spaciousness is love.”

read a zine + make a zine: I make a lot of zines and read a lot of em, but I specifically made some mending zines that you can check out here if you wanna

Nonfiction: Jovita Wore Pants by Aida Salazar and Molly Mendoza. Was on the “skip the line” list for my local library’s n ebooks, checked it out, REALLY wonderful art, loved that the story was followed by more detailed history and the connection to the author.

Romance Novel: All the Hidden Paths by Foz Meadow. YAAAAAAAY OUR ARRANGED MARRIAGE HAS TURNED OUT MOSTLY WELL BUT THERE’S STILL POLITICS. Excellent beautiful wonderful! Love me some mlm romantasy. Got me to start writing my own. Yippee (again)!

Read + make a recipe: also a bajillion of these if i’m not making stuff up off the top of my head

Published in the Aughts: Going Postal by Terry Pratchett. I did read them in order this time though. Because I hadn’t done that before. (Un)fortunately also realized how much i fucked LOVE a rogue character. High Wis low Con builds forever!!!

I’ll probably remember to update this later! maybe! I’m just happy to be halfway thru (with a short break in May where I played thru ALL of Disco Elysium, Mudborne, and started a new FONV save file. I had a breakup and a move. It’s allowable).

[wisyhana]

I wanna talk about something really beautiful that happened on my birthday before August ends.

The lovely people from patreon, which at this point are close friends than patrons, took the time and effort to gift me a commission where I could draw whatever I wanted, along with the most beautiful letters and drawings.

I cried like a baby, no joke hahaha.

This was such a great gift so of course I made it about Saya and her birthday so here are the drawings I did for her and my birthday. I'm not showing you the letter cos I'll tear up again.

First one is Saya receiving a present from her grandma. She's super emotional because her grandma doesn't know much about postal services or technology, so Saya knows she made a huge effort to send her a present on her own.

The second one is of course Kyrie Eleison celebrating her birthday. Saya invited Kaiba for the party and well Vultur is not really happy about it, but she gets over it quickly. Also to point out that Saya is really happy this time and when she's happy and comfy she tends to be more touchy, so it's very new for her to grab Ivy and Viper that way.

and the last one is already very late and Kaiba stays at Saya's apartment and he finally gives her a present. I WANTED TO GO SUPER CURSI AND SUPER NERDY SO HEAR ME OUT.

Kaiba gives her flight tickets to Vienna for both of them~ he takes her there because HELLO VIENNA THE CITY OF MUSIC, so they can go and nerd about classical musicians. BUT, he has another surprise there~ he takes her to the St Peter's Abbey in Salzburg, because this motherfucker commissioned a whole chorus and orchestra to play the Mass in C Minor from Mozart, which is the musical that has the Grosse Messe aka the Kyrie Eleison piece that Saya loves. And of course he chooses that place because is there where it was first performed. Very cheesy, very nerdy and very Messe perfect for them.

So here they are! I wouldn't be able to draw this if it wasn't for my lovely friends. I'm so thankful and so happy that it would take me a long time to forget this.

Thank you so much and I hope you enjoy my joy with my girl Saya🖤

[lunatic-pudge]

Postal Dude SFW and NSFW Headcanons

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I love Postal Dude. He reminds me a lot of Sniper, so that might not help. These can apply to basically any version of Dude you want, but I tend to use PD2 as the default Dude. Those some things would probably be different for PD1.

So yeah, I got stuff that I need to finish working on. I'm halfway done with this one TF2 ask I got. So Imma try to finish that up ASAP.

And warning for sexual stuff and mentions of violence, but considering that this is Postal, the violence part shouldn't be too much of a bother

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SFW

-Oh boy oh boy, where do I even begin with my baby boy Dude. Postal was something I always had a slight intrest in but now it hit me full force so here we are. Plus he's got some similarities to Sniper as well so it doesn't help either. I can't control myself anymore. I need this man pregnant and i need it NOW!

-But anyways, Imma start throwing some stuff out there. This poor babe has been through it. He's been through Hell and back, literally.  He's gotten better over the years, but there are times where things feel like they're getting worse again. He's gotten better with dealing with it. Though, he's not the best when comforting his partner if they're struggling mentally. He tries his best, but he's just so unsure of what to do. He's good at sitting with you, having an arm wrapped around you as you hold onto him, venting your problems out. It's easy for him to be a listening ear. Any advice from him is probably not good advice. If there's something you want, he'll get it for you. A blanket? Done. Some ice cream? Okay, what flavor. It's the little things

-If you wanna be with this mess of a man, you gotta be semi comfortable with the violence. He's gonna be coming home almost every night covered in blood, acting like he didn't just kill someone over a doughnut. And you gotta be comfortable with his massive collection of weapons. He'll teach you how to use them so you can protect yourself if he isn't around.

-Which leads me to the fact that he WILL kill for you. Whether it'd be to protect you, to prove that he loves you, or even out of jealousy. He can be convinced to not kill someone but it does take some persuasion. He just wants to keep you safe, and he trusts no one but you, especially since the people of Paradise are rather "interesting". Though, he might just wait for you to be out of sight to kill the person you wanted spared... Oops...

-His love language is acts of services and physical touch. Homie won't be able to keep his hands off you. Sexual or not, he NEEDS to feel you. It makes him feel sane to know you're there and real. And if you need help with something, he's there to help you with it. He'd love it if you'd go on errands with him. It'd make things less boring AND it means more time to spend with you

-Also, to be with this man means Champ needs to approve of you first. Champ is his baby, so if Champ doesn't like you then clearly you aren't worth his time. But if Champ approves of you and you love and spoil him, then you might just be marriage material

-He's such a goofball. He'll be constantly teasing you. Not a day goes by where he isn't lovingly tormenting you over something dumb. He does it cause he loves you. He means no harm with it and will let off it if asked. Don't let him know about any sensitive or ticklish spots of yours cause he WILL be using those spots against you

-Very big on being able to laze around with you and doing nothing. Laying together on the bed or couch, alcohol and snacks readily available, and music playing in the background. He's a bully in a sense where he would want his music playing, claiming to have good taste in music. So hopefully, you like the same music as him. So stuff like Tool, Nine Inch Nails, KMFDM, etc. (Though in my own little world, I could see him crying over Mitski, plz don't judge)

-If you're a crafty person and you make something for him, he could cry from how happy it makes him. He loves seeing you work your stuff. Doesn't matter what it is (drawing, painting, sewing, crocheting,  etc.) he likes watching. It's calming to him. He'd def cry if you made anything Champ related. If you draw or paint, youre art is getting hung up on the walls. If you sew, knit, or crochet and you make him or Champ something to wear, then they'll be wearing what you made them proudly. Though he won't wear said stuff outside cause he doesn't wanna dirty them. He'd feel bad for ruing all your hard work

-Have I mentioned how spoiled he is yet? Cause he is. He's a very needy baby. Constantly wanting your time, attention, and affection. Almost never giving you a second of privacy cause he needs to be in your personal bubble. Oh, you locked the bathroom door so you could enjoy a bath in peace for once? Too bad, cause Dude's already picked the lock and hanging out with you. And if you don't stop him, he'll join you in the tub, with or without clothes on. He's essentially a cat that will scratch at the door til you let him in. If you're at work or he's running errands, he'll be texting you nonstop. Keeping you updated on the chaos he's causing and spamming you with Champ pics.

-He also has an abundance of photos of you. Some of just you doing whatever (yes even sleeping), you and Champ, you and Dude, and even all three of you together. You may not even know all of the photos he has of you. And yes, he will show you off, proud he has such a baddie and no one else does. But you also need to know that he isn't scared to take some of the worst photos of you. We're talk 0.5x forehead photos that make it look like you got a big ass forehead. He doesn't care. He loves everything about you and nothing will change that.

-Love seeing you wear his clothes. He thinks it's so cute how big his shirts look on you, the smaller you are, the better. He's very encouraging of you wearing his clothes. Sometimes, it gets him a little too excited, especially when you don't wear any pants, may God help you when that happens...

NSFW

-Loves biting you, once he starts he can't stop. He will have you marked up from head to toe by the time he's done with you. He would like it if you did the same to him. He'll ecourage you to leave some extra marks on him and especially his more sensitive areas. Same rules apply for scratching as well. He loves seeing the all the bites, bruises, and scratches you leave on him. And he feels such pride when he sees them on you

-He's the perfect person to have a hand kink for. He's got them long, spidery fingers that can leave goosebumps along your skin. He'd gladly shove his fingers down your throat if you want. His hands do tend to be littered with cuts and burns but don't think that will stop anything. The extra pain adds to the experience for him

-Yeha, he's kind of a masochist. There's just something about the way you inflict pain on him that gets him going. You could come up behind him and bite him and that's all you need to do for him to get the message. He will let you WRECK him however you want

-Does like degraded by only a little bit. He wants to be called a slut and to be told how vile he is for wanting to be used like a toy. But sometimes he has limits. He does need praises though. He could go on for hours praising you, and he would like to be able to be praised as well. He'd rather be praised than degraded. Especially during aftercare. Tell him how much of a good boy he is and how well he did. He'll love you forever if you do

-Is it wrong to say that I can see him having a Mommy kink? This might be from hearing the one line of his but there's just something about him that screams "let me call you Mommy plz". halp

-I've been making him sound like such a total sub but he can be dominant if you want. He tends to be more on the rough side when he doms though so do be prepared for it. He'd love to have you tied up and blindfolded, helpless as to what he's gonna do next. Loves making you beg

-peghimpeghimpeghimpeghimpeghim, do it. Nothing's stopping you. You'll get some of the best noises out of him if you peg him. He's is such a dirty little slut. Peg him and make him beg!

[mellohd]

David going Postal Dude

yay i actually finished it. art becomes fun again when you ignore that whiny little voice in your ear telling you to draw neat. next up: postal dude going david. idk when or if im gonna dew it tho. i have a swap au kinda planned in my head, lmk if you guys wanna hear about it

close up ^ (also yes i know its going postal, not postal dude but it was a better play on words so :3)

[duckydemons]

playing postal brain damaged again and seeing alt! bd dude makes me chuckle because if you see him far away he just looks tiny

as well as that when i was playing today it went from

“Beep beep!”

to

“Damn, I’m really handsome!”

or something like that… just say you wanna make out with yourself dude holy fart

[moonstruckme]

Face Masks

summary: you discover that if there's one thing your friend Steve is a giant nerd about, it's skincare

Steve Harrington x fem!reader ♡ 973 words

You knock on Steve’s door for the second time, peering into the closest window tentatively. You’d been supposed to go see him at work to drop off the cassette you’d borrowed, but you could’ve sworn his shift ended at eight tonight, not five. When you’d gotten there, Robin had told you with a shrug that you should be able to find him at home, but he wasn’t answering the door. 

You glanced behind you, just to make sure you hadn’t hallucinated his car in the driveway. He wouldn’t ignore you on purpose, would he? You haven’t known Steve long, but you consider him a good friend, and he always seems to treat you with a tenderness he doesn’t quite show to his other friends, even Robin. He finds excuses to hold your hand and calls you “honey” and smiles at you in this soft way that makes your insides turn to mush. You don’t think Steve’s the sort of guy who does all that for show, being sweet and flirty in front of his friends and then ignoring you when it’s just the two of you. That’d be…you can’t believe that about him. 

You decide to give it one more try before going home, but your knuckles barely make contact with the door before it’s swinging open. “What?” Steve snaps, then blinks, his eyebrows shooting high as he spots you. “Shit, sorry, honey, I didn’t mean to yell at you. I thought you were the postal service or something.” 

“I…it’s okay.” You’re staring at him, you know, but you can’t make yourself stop. You could probably blame it on the shock of having him spook you like he’s just done, but it may also be due to another surprise. “You’re wearing a headband.” 

He looks skyward as if he’ll be able to see it, then back to you with a half-defensive expression. “I, um…yeah.” He shrugs. “I am.” 

“I brought your cassette,” you explain yourself dumbly, still somewhat mystified. “Also, you have…dirt on your face?” You reach out to brush some of the brown clots off his cheek, but he bats your hand away. 

“It’s exfoliant,” he says, rolling his eyes. “I was rinsing it off when you knocked.” He turns from you and goes back inside, but leaves the door open for you to follow. You do, curious, and trail him all the way to his bathroom sink, where Steve bends at the waist, splashing water on his face. 

“Stevie,” you guffaw, staring in astonishment at the products lined up on his counter. “Is all of this yours?”

“Yep,” he says, patting his face dry with a towel. “Laugh all you want, but all this?” He gestures with a circular motion to his face. “It doesn’t just happen. It takes work. A process.” 

You hold your hands up innocently, but a smile plays at your lips. “Hey, I respect it. Whatever makes you look like this is good with me.” 

Steve quirks an eyebrow at your abnormally explicit flirtation. “Yeah? Good, because it’s all for you, honey.” 

Your face warms, and you’re quick to change the subject. “So, what does it do? The exfoliate?”

“Exfoliant,” he corrects you. “It gets rid of any dead skin and leaves your face smooth.” 

You nod pensively. You have always thought Steve had unnaturally soft, glowy skin. 

“And this,” he says, picking up another bottle from the counter and squirting a small amount onto his finger tip. “Is moisturizer. It’s supposed to be anti-aging, so I’ll stay looking like this forever.” 

You laugh as he rubs it into his skin. “Great, so the rest of us are just supposed to get old and ugly and you’ll still look like you’re in your twenties?”

“Pfft, as if you could ever be ugly.” Steve waves you off. “If you wanna try some for fun, though, you’re welcome to.” 

You roll your eyes at him, holding out your palm, but he pumps the product into his own hand again, using his fingertips to smooth it onto your face. You stretch your neck for him as he works it under your jaw, and you’re sure he sees your nervous swallow. 

“It feels nice,” you say once he’s done, touching your fingers to your cheek. Your eye catches on another bottle. “What’s that one do?”

Soon you’ve been exfoliated, toned, and are laying on Steve’s bed with a goopy mask covering everything but your eyes. 

“Smells pretty,” you murmur, careful not to move your mouth too much as Steve comes to lie beside you, his own mask in place. 

“It’s watermelon-scented,” he replies. “Supposed to brighten.” 

You don’t really understand how your skin can brighten (is that the glowy thing?), but you’re enjoying this time with Steve, and the pleasant scents are an added bonus. 

“Could I maybe do this with you again?”

Steve grins at you, not seeming to care as his face mask globs a bit around his mouth. “Totally! I do this once a week, but I have dry skin. We could make you your own skincare routine and everything. It’ll be fun!” 

You smile back at him, endeared and a bit surprised by how into this he seems. “Okay, what would I need to do?”

“Well, first we have to figure out what kind of skin you have. Have you noticed if you get oily?” You shake your head cluelessly. “That’s okay. We’ll figure that out, and then plan out your regimen from there. I’m thinking a clay mask, exfoliant of course, maybe an overnight serum…”

You listen to him ramble on, not really following and beginning to get the sense that a lot of your paycheck is about to go towards this new routine. Anything that means you’ll get to see Steve this excited, though—anything that means you’ll get to see Steve, period—is definitely worth it.

[pearlprincess02]

LENGTH: 37 HR 52 MIN. songs below ↓

sagittarius rising / 1st house:

capricorn mars in 1st house

"green light" - lorde / "bury a friend" - billie eilish / "video games" - lana del rey / "habits (stay high)" - tove lo / "demons" - imagine dragons / "do i wanna know?" - arctic monkeys / "primadonna" - marina / "team" - lorde / "graveyard" - halsey / "somebody else" - the 1975 / "stressed out" - twenty one pilots / "the less i know the better" - tame impala / "gasoline" - halsey / "doin' time" - lana del rey / "viva la vida" - coldplay / "sweater weather" - the neighbourhood / "shake it out" - florence + the machine / "harmony hall" - vampire weekend / "pumped up kicks" - foster the people / "joy" - bastille /

capricorn chiron in 1st house

"young and beautiful" - lana del rey / "flaws" - bastille / "dirty paws" - of monsters and men / "human" - the killers / "liability" - lorde / "recover" - chvrches / "afraid" - the neighbourhood / "everything i wanted" - billie eilish / "eventually" - tame impala / "miracle" - chvrches / "born to die" - lana del rey / "this life" - vampire weekend / "fix you" - coldplay / "to be human" - marina / "idontwannabeyouanymore" - billie eilish / "writer in the dark" - lorde / "colors" - halsey / "movement" - hozier / "glad he's gone" - tove lo / "sit next to me" - foster the people /

sagittarius rising / 1st house

"the sound" - the 1975 / "on top of the world" - imagine dragons / "new americana" - halsey / "exile" - taylor swift (feat. bon iver) / "bad guy" - billie eilish / "you're somebody else" - flora cash / "adventure of a lifetime" - coldplay / "heather" - conan gray / "love me" - the 1975 / "cardigan" - taylor swift / "ocean eyes" - billie eilish / "little talks" - of monsters and men / "good grief" - bastille / "leave a trace" - chvrches / "summertime sadness" - lana del rey / "take me to church" - hozier /  "maniac" - conan gray / "if you're gonna lie" - fletcher / "ship to wreck" - florence + the machine / "mount everest" - labrinth /

aquarius 2nd house:

pisces uranus in 2nd house

"kids" - mgmt / "ho hey" - the lumineers / "midnight city" - m83 / "1901" - birdy / "take a walk" - passion pit / "electricity" - silk city, dua lipa / "digital love" - daft punk / "electric feel" - mgmt / "lisztomania" - phoenix / "tongue tied" - grouplove / "somebody that i used to know" - gotye (feat. kimbra) / "cherry" - lana del rey / "counting stars" - onerepublic / "1901" - phoenix / "i wanna get better" - bleachers / "love me again" - john newman / "dancing on my own" - robyn / "rather be" - clean bandit (feat. jess glynne) / "we found love" - rihanna (feat. calvin harris) / "can't feel my face" - the weeknd / 

aquarius neptune in 2nd house

"wish i knew you" - the revivalists / "young folks" - peter bjorn and john / "saturn" - sleeping at last / "such great heights" - the postal service / "islands" - the xx / "wide eyes" - local natives / "rebellion (lies)" - arcade fire / "silent treatment" - the joy formidable / "heartbeats" - the knife / "disparate youth" - santigold / "time to pretend" - mgmt / "elephant gun" - beirut / "dreaming" - smallpools / "all my friends" - lcd soundsystem / "shelter song" - temples / "sleepyhead" - passion pit / "oblivion" - grimes / "wetsuit" - the vaccines / "take me out" - franz ferdinand / "don't save me" - haim /

aquarius 2nd house

"knife under my pillow" - maggie lindemann / "idfc" - blackbear / "play date" - melanie martinez / "queen of broken hearts" - blackbear / "if we have each other" - alec benjamin / "josslyn" - olivia o'brien / "pretty girl" - maggie lindemann / "i miss you, i'm sorry" - gracie abrams / "dollhouse" - melanie martinez / "must have been the wind" - alec benjamin / "friends go" - maggie lindemann / "hot girl bummer" - blackbear / "cake" - melanie martinez / "let's fall in love for the night" - finneas / "no love" - olivia o'brien / "oh my god" - alec benjamin / "dog days are over" - florence + the machine / "me & ur ghost" - blackbear / "water fountain" - alec benjamin / "just a boy" - olivia o'brien / 

pisces 3rd house:

pisces venus in 3rd house

"ribs" - lorde / "in the aeroplane over the sea" - neutral milk hotel / "everywhere" - fleetwood mac / "toothpaste kisses" - the maccabees / "into my arms" - nick cave & the bad seeds / "budapest" - george ezra / "chasing cars" - snow patrol / "kiss me" - sixpence none the richer / "breathe" - télépopmusik / "unintended" - muse / "cosmic love" - florence + the machine / "atlas hands" - benjamin francis leftwich / "fade into you" - mazzy star / "first day of my life" - bright eyes / "dead sea" - the lumineers / "wicked game" - chris isaak / "lover, you should've come over" - jeff buckley / "skinny love" - bon iver / "hurt somebody" - noah kahan, julia michaels / "swim good" - frank ocean /

pisces 3rd house

"cherry wine" - hozier / "mykonos" - fleet foxes / "northern wind" - city and colour / "beneath your beautiful" - labrinth (feat. emeli sandé) / "let me down slowly" - alec benjamin / "dreams" - fleetwood mac / "how to disappear completely" - radiohead / "holocene" - bon iver / "when the party's over" - billie eilish / "marjorie" - taylor swift / "to build a home" - the cinematic orchestra / "where is my mind?" - pixies / "if u love me" - nessa barrett / "sleeping lessons" - the shins / "holding on" - disclosure (feat. gregory porter) / "breathe me" - sia / "all the stars" - kendrick lamar, sza / "lose yourself to dance" - daft punk (feat. pharrell williams) / "africa" - toto / "take on me" - a-ha / 

aries 4th house:

aries sun in 4th house

"naive" - the kooks / "you only live once" - the strokes / "she's so high" - tal bachman / "my number" - foals / "what you know" - two door cinema club / "shut up and dance" - walk the moon / "animal" - neon trees / "float on" - modest mouse / "riptide" - vance joy / "mr. brightside" - the killers / "feel It still" - portugal. the man / "don't stop me now" - queen / "ready to start" - arcade fire / "the middle" - jimmy eat world / "pompeii" - bastille / "youngblood" - 5 seconds of summer / "castle on the hill" - ed sheeran / "somebody told me" - the killers / "born this way" - lady gaga / "centuries" - fall out boy / 

taurus mercury in 4th house

"yellow" - coldplay / "say something" - a great big world, christina aguilera / "stubborn love" - the lumineers / "landslide" - fleetwood mac / "retrograde" - james blake / "someone like you" - adele / "all i want" - kodaline / "latch" - disclosure (feat. sam smith) / "re: stacks" - bon iver / "latchkey kids" - silversun pickups / "big jet plane" - angus & julia stone / "lost on you" - lp / "wild horses" - the rolling stones / "linger" - the cranberries / "river" - leon bridges / "stolen dance" - milky chance / "stay with me" - sam smith / "lost cause" - beck / "the scientist" - coldplay / "i won't give up" - jason mraz /

taurus lilith in 4th house

"reptilia" - the strokes / "animal" - miike snow / "stylo" - gorillaz (feat. mos def & bobby womack) / "shut up and let me go" - the ting tings / "hunger strike" - temple of the dog / "creep" - radiohead / "cough syrup" - young the giant / "bulls on parade" - rage against the machine / "fader" - the temper trap / "song 2" - blur / "uprising" - muse / "r u mine?" - arctic monkeys / "ways to go" - grouplove / "gold lion" - yeah yeah yeahs / "seven nation army" - the white stripes / "it's time" - imagine dragons / "no one knows" - queens of the stone age / "little talks" - of monsters and men / "fell in love with a girl" - the white stripes / "tyrants" - catfish and the bottlemen /

aries 4th house

"believer" - imagine dragons / "the one " - fletcher / "checkmate" - conan gray / "all for us" - labrinth (feat. zendaya) / "stupid" - tate mcrae / "nightmare" - halsey / "blank space" - taylor swift / "pain" - nessa barrett / "forever" - fletcher / "electric blue" - arcade fire / "mind is a prison" - alec benjamin / "the archer" - taylor swift / "experiment on me" - halsey / "blue jeans" - lana del rey / "titanium" - david guetta (feat. sia) / "happier" - marshmello (feat. bastille) / "the man" - taylor swift / "good life" - onerepublic / "i bet my life" - imagine dragons / "rolling in the deep" - adele /

taurus 5th house:

taurus north node in 5th house

"tighten up" - the black keys / "tongue" - r.e.m. / "lost in my mind" - the head and the heart / "goodbye yellow brick road" - elton john / "something good can work" - two door cinema club / "lover" - taylor swift / "forever" - labrinth / "finally // beautiful stranger" - halsey / "wish you were sober" - conan gray / "love it if we made it" - the 1975 / "cornelia street" - taylor swift / "youth" - daughter / "uptown girl" - billy joel / "this is what you came for" - calvin harris (feat. rihanna) / "don't start now" - dua lipa /  "daylight" - taylor swift / "happy" - pharrell williams / "i gotta feeling" - the black eyed peas / "treasure" - bruno mars / "shake it off" - taylor swift /

gemini part of fortune in 5th house

"style" - taylor swift / "still don't know my name" - labrinth / "dancing with myself" - billy idol / "boom clap" - charli xcx / "a-punk" - vampire weekend / "ain't it fun"  - paramore / "me!" - taylor swift (feat. brendon urie) / "high hopes" - panic! at the disco / "unbelievers"  - vampire weekend / "tennis court" - lorde / "reflections" - misterwives / "still into you" - paramore / "blinding lights" - the weeknd / "out of my league" - fitz and the tantrums / "i wanna dance with somebody (who loves me)" - whitney houston / "helena beat" - foster the people /  "good as hell" - lizzo / "rollercoaster"- bleacher / "victorious" - panic! at the disco / "it's not living (if it's not with you)"  - the 1975 / 

taurus 5th house

"cruel summer" - taylor swift / "love song" - lana del rey / "taro" - alt-j / "i don't want your money" - ed sheeran & h.e.r. / "sugar" - maroon 5 / "uptown funk" - mark ronson (feat. bruno mars) / "wildest dreams" - taylor swift / "golden hour" - kacey musgraves / "isn't she lovely" - stevie wonder / "thinking out loud" - ed sheeran / "cake by the ocean" - dnce / "all of me" - john legend / "don't know why"- norah jones / "september" - earth, wind & fire / "teenage dream" - katy perry / "this will be (an everlasting love)" - natalie cole / "if i ain't got you" - alicia keys / "i'm yours" - jason mraz / "just the way you are" - bruno mars / "put your records on"- corinne bailey rae / 

gemini 6th house:

"fluorescent adolescent" - arctic monkeys / "backseat freestyle" - kendrick lamar / "feel good inc." - gorillaz /  "the edge of glory" - lady gaga / "good 4 u" - olivia rodrigo / "cool kids" - echosmith / "skin" - sabrina carpenter / "mine" - taylor swift / "back to you" - selena gomez /  "the wire" - haim / "issues" - julia michaels /  "death bed (coffee for your head)" - powfu (feat. beabadoobee) / "leave before you love me" - marshmello, jonas brothers / "drivers license" - olivia rodrigo / "youth" - troye sivan / "dance yrself clean" - lcd soundsystem / "cut to the feeling"- carly rae jepsen / "houdini" - foster the people / "just dance"- lady gaga / "how to be a heartbreaker"  - marina and the diamonds / 

gemini 7th house:

gemini saturn in 7th house

"maps" - maroon 5 / "hurt" - johnny cash / "the night we met" - lord huron / "the chain" - fleetwood mac / "gravity" - sara bareilles / "stay" - rihanna (feat. mikky ekko) / "nothing compares 2 u" - sinead o'connor / "maps" - yeah yeah yeahs / "mad world" - gary jules / "hallelujah" - jeff buckley / "holocene" - bon iver / "all too well (10 minute version)" - taylor swift / "say you won't let go" - james arthur / "chandelier" - sia / "a thousand years" - christina perri / "gravity" - john mayer / "bad at love" - halsey / "earned it" - the weeknd / "when i was your man" - bruno mars / "let it go" - james bay / 

gemini 7th house

"one kiss" - calvin harris & dua lipa / "northern downpour" - panic! at the disco / "two weeks" - grizzly bear / "into you" - ariana grande / "shape of you" - ed sheeran / "bubblegum bitch" - marina / "hello"- adele / "i'm not the only one" - sam smith / "stitches"- shawn mendes / "mirrors" - justin timberlake / "ordinary people"- john legend / "something just like this"- the chainsmokers (feat. coldplay) / "we don't talk anymore" - charlie puth (feat. selena gomez) / "new rules" - dua lipa / "slow dancing in a burning room" - john mayer / "love song" - sara bareilles / "jar of hearts" - christina perri / "she will be loved" - maroon 5 / "can't stop the feeling!"- justin timberlake / "physical" - dua lipa /

leo 8th house:

leo jupiter in 8th house

"high enough to carry you over" - chvrches / "my silver lining" - first aid kit / "i bet you look good on the dancefloor" - arctic monkeys / "royals" - lorde / "human" - rag'n'bone man / "gooey" - glass animals / "radioactive" - imagine dragons / "heathens" - twenty one pilots / "dark necessities" - red hot chili peppers / "glory and gore" - lorde / "sex on fire" - kings of leon / "shake me down" - cage the elephant / "electric love" - borns / "breezeblocks" - alt-j / "bohemian rhapsody"  - queen / "reflektor" - arcade fire / "formation" - beyoncé / "starboy" - the weeknd / "dna." - kendrick lamar / "skyfall" - adele / 

leo vertex in 8th house

"livin' on a prayer" - bon jovi / "oblivion" - bastille / "runaway" - aurora / "little lion man" - mumford & sons / "where the streets have no name" - U2 / "heroes" - david bowie / "halo"  - beyoncé / "i will always love you" - whitney houston / "stairway to heaven" - led zeppelin / "born to run" - bruce springsteen / "dream on"- aerosmith / "fighter" - christina aguilera / "gimme shelter" - the rolling stones / "we are the champions"  - queen / "purple rain" - prince / "rocket man" - elton john / "knights of cydonia" - muse / "go your own way" - fleetwood mac / "like a prayer" - madonna / "thriller" - michael jackson /

leo 8th house

"express yourself" - madonna / "superstition"  - stevie wonder / "i'm still standing" - elton john / "let's go crazy" - prince / "billie jean" - michael jackson / "you give love a bad name" - bon jovi / "run the world (girls)" - beyoncé / "bad romance"- lady gaga / "roar"- katy perry / "life on mars?"- david bowie / "gorilla" - bruno mars / "beautiful day" - U2 / "thinkin bout you" - frank ocean / "yellow flicker beat"  - lorde / "talking body" - tove lo / "partition" - beyoncé / "love on the brain"  - rihanna / "magic" - coldplay / "animals" - maroon 5 / "god is a woman"  - ariana grande / 

virgo 9th house:

"oxford comma" - vampire weekend / "all we ever knew" - the head and the heart / "hunger" - florence + the machine / "high and dry" - radiohead / "lost in the light" - bahamas / "the suburbs" - arcade fire / "come away with me" - norah jones / "helplessness blues" - fleet foxes / "i will wait" - mumford & sons / "no such thing" - john mayer / "home" - phillip phillips / "better together"- jack johnson / "paradise"- coldplay / "hey, soul sister" - train / "rivers and roads"  - the head and the heart / "three little birds" - bob marley & the wailers / "brave" - sara bareilles / "bubbly" - colbie caillat / "begin again" - taylor swift / "waiting on the world to change" - john mayer /

libra 10th house:

scorpio moon in 10th house

"gun" - chvrches / "my body" - young the giant / "some nights" - fun. / "deadcrush" - alt-j / "the weekend" - sza / "swimming pools (drank)" - kendrick lamar / "glory box" - portishead / "him & i" - g-eazy & halsey / "waiting game" - banks / "hurt" - nine inch nails / "what kind of man"  - florence + the machine / "elastic heart"  - sia / "ride" - lana del rey / "drowning"- banks / "the hills"- the weeknd / "cellophane" - fka twigs / "all mine" - portishead / "national anthem" - lana del rey / "haunted"  - beyoncé / "diamonds" - rihanna /

libra 10th house

"watermelon sugar" - harry styles / "love on top" - beyoncé / "roads" - portishead / "love story" - taylor swift / "thank u, next" - ariana grande / "thunder" - imagine dragons / "clocks" - coldplay / "too good at goodbyes"- sam smith /"locked out of heaven" - bruno mars / "irreplaceable" - beyoncé / "set fire to the rain" - adele / "sign of the times" - harry styles / "dangerous woman" - ariana grande / "alive"- sia / "paparazzi"  - lady gaga / "delilah"- florence + the machine / "without me" - halsey / "empire state of mind (part II) broken down"- alicia keys / "kill em with kindness" - selena gomez / "sorry not sorry" - demi lovato / 

scorpio 11th house:

"bad blood" - taylor swift (feat. kendrick lamar) / "closer" - the chainsmokers (feat. halsey) /  "dark paradise" - lana del rey / "live in the moment" - portugal. the man / "gemini feed" - banks / "505" - arctic monkeys / "ride"- twenty one pilots / "misery business" - paramore / "7 rings" - ariana grande / "firework" - katy perry / "you should see me in a crown" - billie eilish / "often"- the weeknd / "hands to myself" - selena gomez / "redbone" - childish gambino / "humble." - kendrick lamar / "don't let me down" - the chainsmokers (feat. daya) / "22"- taylor swift / "party in the u.s.a." - miley cyrus / "we are young" - fun. (feat. janelle monáe) / "count on me"  - bruno mars /

sagittarius 12th house:

sagittarius pluto in 12th house

"no one's gonna love you" - band of horses / "sleep forever" - portugal. the man / "obstacles" - syd matters / "bloodstream" - stateless / "take care" - beach house / "oceans" - seafret / "the funeral" - band of horses / "pink + white" - frank ocean / "comfortably numb" - pink floyd / "white winter hymnal"  - fleet foxes / "space song" - beach house / "limit to your love" - james blake / "open" - rhye / "two weeks"- fka twigs / "gold" - chet faker / "jóga"- björk / "myth" - beach house / "everything in its right place"- radiohead / "hoppípolla" - sigur rós / "mystery of love" - sufjan stevens / 

sagittarius 12th house

"a dustland fairytale" - the killers / "visions of gideon" - sufjan stevens / "cannons" - youth lagoon / "bloodbuzz ohio" - the national / "kettering" - the antlers / "buzzcut season" - lorde / "song for zula" - phosphorescent / "flightless bird, american mouth" - iron & wine / "secrets" - the weeknd / "sæglópur"  - sigur rós / "obsessions"  - marina / "feels like we only go backwards" - tame impala / "intro"- the xx / "all i need" - radiohead / "i need my girl"  - the national / "the wilhelm scream"  - james blake / "new slang"  - the shins / "wicked games" - the weeknd / "under the pressure" - the war on drugs / "feel it all around" - washed out / 

(anon ask)

@pearlprincess02

[cybersixed]

So despite my most rational and coherent thoughts I have gotten very into the Postal series which is mainly why I made this side blog but you can sorta see my descent into madness on my main blog initially. At first I just watched youtube videos abt it and scrolled through the tumblr tag until that just Wasn't Enough

So I caved in and played the free original Postal game the other day, my overall thoughts were posted Here, last night however I caved in once more and watched the Postal Movie and was completely perplexed by it (in a bad way) I talked abt it Here and then dared myself to say one nice thing about it Here oh but the nonsense didn't stop there because at 6:37 am in a sleep deprived impulsive thought I used my birthday money to buy Postal Redux, Postal 2 and the DLC Paradise Lost AND Postal Brain Damaged

No I'm not buying Postal 3 I don't hate myself that much

I REALLY wanna play Brain Damaged but I decided to give P2 a chance first and boy I'm really not built for this

First thing I did upon being released into the world was try to skyrim horse my way up a hill and out of bounds and failed miserably... take notes bethesda. Right after that I wander into someone's property and stumble upon a "BEWARE OF DOG" sign and at the top left corner of the screen I get a tip saying something like "Are you not aware of the dog? Well you will" and immediately after I am attacked by a rabid dog which was hilarious, had no weapons at all and didn't want to attack the dog so I simply ran away for my life as this beast chomped away at my health until I somehow lost it.

I wander inside a strangers house as any decent gamer would and immediately hear a woman going "Hey get out of there!" then I turn around to see that she was outside the house in front of the window, I stare at her for a second before she drops her bag and runs away screaming... I'd run away from Postal Dude too tbh

Honestly just walked around a bit aimlessly with no desire to complete tasks and just gave people the middle finger because it was funny, point is even when you're not doing anything yourself the game still entertains you with it's environment. Had to stop playing bc I got stuff to do but I'm abt to launch the game back up again and actually play it instead of being a pathetic house invader dog chewing toy

anyways if you read my entire deranged post hi thank you, you should talk to me abt postal. I hate this man (I'm only half joking on that)

[no0t2]

kinda wanna make a compilation of all the clips i've gathered during the time i was playing postal 2 n paradise lost for the first time

there's a few that i kinda find funny but i've been hating my voice again lately gurhhh

[nathanexplosionbignaturals]

when I bought postal 2 I spent like 4 hours chasing people around peeing it was so fun. i loved it. i love when games have a pee feature all games should. I also did kind of wanna slonk dude but that's beside the point

i need to pick up 2 again it's so fucking fun...i play it in several hour chunks then stop for several weeks and so on. theres bisexual pride on the fan art page diud you know that dude is bi

[catharsisdoesntexist]

i know i just finished postal 2 but now i wanna play it again for the achievements aaaaaaaa

[faithforgottens]

𝒅𝒓𝒂𝒘𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒔 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒚𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒆.

from the writer’s desk: i’d tell you i started this a year ago after deciding i needed closure on post - crying on newport beach about how i’m incapable of being loved but that would mean me unloading all over the dash, and nobody needs that. i’m just a girl, out here projecting like tomorrow’s not coming, and thought i’d share. please know that i love carol, i just had to pick a character that i didn’t have strong emotional attachment to in order to play my villain. motivation to continue this would be much appreciated, thnx.  summary: you’ve been stuck in carol’s web for nearly four months now, and you need a distraction before you go postal and commit a capital crime or worse, tell her you love her. fortunately for you, natasha’s willing to offer her services. contains: college!natasha x female reader —— warnings include toxic relationship dynamics that involve infidelity, gaslighting and cheating, marijuana use, alcohol consumption, nsfw content [ fingering, dirty talk ]. →  inbox status: OPEN                                        don’t repost my works anywhere.

INCOMING MESSAGE FROM — SATAN    💬     am i gonna see you tonight?

INCOMING MESSAGE FROM — SATAN    💬     :(

INCOMING MESSAGE FROM — SATAN    💬     hellllllooooooooooo??

INCOMING MESSAGE FROM — SATAN    💬     I WANNA SEE U I MISS UR PRETTY FACE

INCOMING MESSAGE FROM — SATAN    💬     pls come tonight. it would mean everything to me

You’ve never claimed to be smart.

In fact, you’re pretty sure you have to fall on the opposite end of that spectrum in order to bother showing your face tonight at the behest of Carol fuckin’ Danvers. Satan. It’s the work of the goddamn devil pulling you from the clutches of your apartment’s comfortable silence where you’d be much better off riding through the nuanced gut-punching waves of disappointing Carol guilt instead of the hell storm that is being played once again by Carol guilt. You even put on eyeliner for such an occasion, because if you’re going to get fucked over (either physically, emotionally, or both), you might as well look good doing it.

Her name’s still lighting up your phone as the Uber drops you off at the curb, boasting a flood of pictures on Snapchat that illuminate the awaiting scene inside of the frat house through blurry streaks of glass bottles and marijuana smoke and the pale expanse of her neck where a glint of her gold necklace flashes is promised to you to do as you wish, leaving behind bruises or lip prints. It’s an enticing picture painted for you. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think maybe tonight will be the night she tells you she’s free from the clutches of Maria, her perfectly sane girlfriend that you’ve only ever known through Carol’s jilted lens, and that she’ll even let you climb her like a tree in front of her friends.

Lucky you.

Except you do know better. In the pit of your stomach, you know the reality is that you are in closer proximity than Maria, which therefore makes you the most convenient piece of ass at Carol’s disposal, that Carol believes — and is likely right about how — you’re still wound tight enough around her finger to make you drop to your knees like a good little girl, blinded by her golden halo of hair and the whiskey-soaked taste of her lips and ready to excuse her shit treatment of you. That even feeling like you have her for the beat of a butterfly’s wings is worth your sanity. And despite it all, it isn’t enough to keep you away. It’s not enough to exile the parts of a masochistic heart beating in your chest that somehow loves her, even if the only part of you she loves is your willingness to show up for her.

Carol’s fraternity is co-ed, which means that between all of the brothers, their social circle extends to the farthest corners of the university — they consume a fair bit of your own, considering you have at least two classes a semester with Bucky, sit with them at Wanda’s softball games (mostly so you can talk shit about your high school ex that made the team), and rent study rooms at least once a month with Thor, Bruce, and Val to spiral into late night insanity while you all contemplate the meaning of life and attempt to memorize vocabulary words. You slip in through the door, bass thudding into your molars and the heavy blanket of smoke and sweat covers your bare shoulders as you weave your way through the house.

“Look who finally showed up!” Behind the counter in the kitchen is Sam Wilson, running position as makeshift bartender. You detour long enough for a vodka and Diet Coke, stopping next to the barstool that Bucky’s perched on. He tucks you underneath his arm for a side hug, other hand tipping his own solo cup back as he tries to drain the last bit of liquor down his throat.

They’re good friends to you. It’s why you hate doing this dance with Satan — because at some point, you feel that there’s going to be a tectonic shift between the two of you that dredges up a rift in the concrete and you don’t know who will be left on your side. You don’t know who you’ll be able to look in the eye and lie to about Carol, who would pick you over her. You don’t even know if any of them would believe you or would write you off as crazy as you’ve been writing yourself off as of late.

You tell yourself that you’re trying, goddammit, to shove that piece of yourself back into a locked drawer and enjoy the company of your friends.

“Anybody seen Danvers?” you pitch as nonchalantly as you know how, planting your elbows down onto the granite of the counter while you watch Sam mix your drink. He goes heavy on the vodka, which you quietly appreciate.

Bucky snorts. “Yeah, we’ve seen her alright.”

“She’s in the dining room trying to rally everyone into a round of strip beer pong,” Sam explains. “Last we saw, she got her shirt stuck in the chandelier.”

“The face of class, this fraternity,” you tease as Sam hands you your drink. He can’t help but laugh, a jovial, guttural noise that makes you smile, even though your stomach is currently in your throat.

You bid them farewell and snake through the living room, trying to avoid the furniture or the bodies of other people and almost always fail in avoiding both at the same time as you carve out a path to the dining room. It’s densely packed, which forebodes the game of beer pong that the boys mentioned. You try not to cut your elbows into the bones and flesh of others to make your way through, but your adrenaline is humming at the thought of seeing Carol, the thought of her body glowing in the house lights and the cut of her physique out on display for anyone, including you, to openly ogle without abandon.

“Goddamn, Danvers!” someone yells mirthfully. “Keep it in your pants!”

Whistling down to one thought, one track, your mind lasers in and you’re positive that the sharp point of your elbow nails T’Challa directly in the ribs as you finally make it to the inner lip of the circle around the dining room table. It’s desperate. You know it’s desperate. You'll care about it later, you’re sure, but for now, all that’s on your mind is her.

“For the love of fuck, I—” Someone stumbles back into you, dark hair in frizzy waves and the bill of their baseball cap nearly jabbing straight into your nose. Wanda Maximoff spins around, her eyes lightening up at the sight of you as she grabs onto your wrist to stable herself. “Oh! Hey, babe,” she says with a smile. “Didn’t know you were coming.”

“Me either,” you tell her, trying not to be blatant as you scan for Carol. “Carol didn’t tell me until last minute.”

“Boo,” Wanda pouts, before turning to yell over her shoulder, “Danvers! Fuck you!”

“Get in line!” Carol calls back, and your head locks in on where her voice comes from. Your stomach plunges into free fall when you see her: as promised, she’s standing around in her sports bra and jeans, white teeth glinting and blonde hair curling around onto her tanned shoulders, biceps on display and her arms snaked around — her.

Maria Hill, in the flesh, pressed against Carol’s side and her chin balanced on Carol’s shoulder as Carol makes a shot one-handed that successfully lands in a cup on the opposite end of the table. Carol cheers victoriously, and Maria kisses her cheek, and you notice that Carol’s hand on Maria’s side drifts down towards her ass.

All of Carol’s messages swim inside your mind, the ones where she assures you that it’s all real, that she and Hill are done, that Hill’s holding her back, that she’s felt things for you since the moment she laid eyes on you and just knew; the ones where she paints a beautiful picture of a future with you, the same picture she’s just doused in cheap spirits and ruined for the dozenth time. Your drink suddenly tastes like arsenic, heavy and uneven in your stomach, the room shrinking and heat crawling up your neck in an uncomfortable panic. You are going to be sick.

Wanda’s voice comes through in the midst of the ringing in your ears. Fuck you, Danvers.

It takes you a moment to realize that Wanda’s voice isn’t just a reverberation inside your mind, but is right in your ear. “Hey!” She calls your name again, and you finally snap your attention back to her. She scans over your face for a moment, eyebrows folding in the center of her brow. “You alright? Where’d you just go?”

The shock is fresh on your face, salt water from the crashing wave that’s irritating your eyes — you refuse to let yourself cry, here in front of everyone, because all that’s going to do is open the door to a conversation you don’t want to have, incite a fight with Carol that you’ll surely lose, leave you feeling even lower than you do at the moment. You shake your head, trying to shake whatever emotions that aren’t nonchalant off of your face. “Noth—nowhere,” you stammer, voice an octave higher than usual. Wanda’s perplexity only deepens. “More crowded than I thought. Got beer-splashed.”

Wanda breaks into a smile, seemingly buying your excuse. “C’mon, what’d you expect?” she ribs. It’s a loaded question, and if Wanda wasn’t Wanda, you’re sure it’d be enough to light your rapidly shorting fuse. The thin strain in your falsified smile must give something away, because she softens the slightest bit and wraps her arm around yours. “Let’s go downstairs. I’ll kick your ass sideways in pool.”

You appreciatively take Wanda’s out, allowing her to guide you away from the Carol show and the crowd of people you have steeled yourself in order to not cry in front of and head with her towards the basement, which the frat has renovated into a lounge space with a giant television, sectional that is infamous for its hosting of The Threesome, and the pool table. It hasn’t garnered quite the same audience that the beer pong game has, but less people means you feel slightly less suffocated. Carol’s still got her foot on your throat, but down here, it’s easier to maneuver and act as though you haven’t just had yourself made a fool in front of everyone without them knowing.

Relieved for the little things, like elbow room, you sit down on the arm of the sectional and take a long drink from your cup — if you’re going to survive the rest of the night without your tail tucking between your legs (and you’re determined to further your self-sabotage by going the extra mile to ensure Carol knows she fucked up, even though it’s likely she doesn’t care) you’ll have to be drunker than this. Wanda adjusts her hat on her head and picks up a pool cue, glancing back over her shoulder at you. “Want someone to show you how it’s done?” she teases.

You lift your cup in acknowledgment, smile shedding off of your lips. “Go for it.”

As Wanda weasels her way into the current game of pool, you do a quick intake of who all’s downstairs. There’s a few of the brothers, a few of the brother’s dates, people that are otherwise background characters designed to make campus seem at capacity but not so many people that no one would notice if you threw up in the corner or worse, started crying. You purse your lips around the rim of your solo cup, scanning the company around the pool table. Wanda sidles up next to another one of her brothers, poking her with the pool cue. “Nat!” Wanda whines. “Give me room.”

Natasha Romanoff shuffles out of the way with the roll of her eyes. “Poke me with the stick again and it’s gonna go somewhere less than ideal.”

Wanda flicks her middle finger upright before hunching around the shape of the pool cue. “You don’t scare me, Natty.”

“Your funeral.”

Your eyes follow Natasha out of the way, and she feels their weight because the next thing you know, you’re off the cliffs and deep somewhere inside the greenery of her eyes. They’re pretty eyes, you idly note, and you find yourself mulling over Natasha Romanoff, as a person, as a concept, as Natasha. She’s the oldest of the girls in the fraternity, a senior to your junior, and she’s been around for so long that it’s hard to remember a time when she wasn’t there. It’s hard to imagine a room without her in it, a constant fixture on the mantel that you don’t even bother acknowledging it anymore.  

She cocks an eyebrow at you after what’s sure to be a long moment of staring, and Wanda, who is unfortunately more observant than you’d like to believe, begins laughing. “Am I interrupting this little staring contest?”

Natasha smirks. “I could win a staring contest and kick your ass at the same time, Maximoff.”

“Show off,” Wanda grumbles as she passes the pool cue over to Natasha. She then looks at you, and whatever grumpiness dissipates, her shit-eating grin returning. “Now, you on the other hand,” she preludes with a gesture towards you. “There’s no way.”

You drain the rest of your drink and discard the cup off to the side. "You talk a lot, Wan,” you inform her as you walk up to the side of the pool table. Wanda just grins as you turn to Natasha, gesturing for the pool cue. “Let me have a go.”

Natasha acquiesces and passes you the pool cue, giving you the space you need coupled with a low nod of encouragement. There are a few clusters of balls around the table and you’re trying to eye up a shot that’ll give you not only a handful of points, but will get Wanda off your back — even if you are grateful for the timing of her diversions.

Unfortunately, it’s not enough; you can still hear the laughter and music through the walls from upstairs, a raucous noise that scatters your train of thought. Is it Carol? What’s she doing? What’s she whispering into Hill’s ear? Does she know you’re even here? Does she care? 

Probably not.

You take the shot without thinking, balls ricocheting off the sides of the pool table. Wanda barks out a laugh. “Really? That’s the best you’ve got?”

“Just getting warmed up,” you say stiffly, handing the pool cue off.

Wanda’s face is alight with amusement, nodding slowly as she moves around the pool table for her next shot. “Okay.”

You’re too far in your head, and you know it. You’re content to linger on the outskirts of the game while everyone else that Wanda goes about recruiting takes their turn. It’s a few minutes or an hour before the cue ends up back in your hand, like a rickety sort of clockwork that is unexpected but also entirely predictable. You assess the situation and find a decent enough angle now that the game has progressed, significantly so.

You bend over slightly, eyes fixed on a blue ten that’s not too far from the cue. Before you can make the shot, you hear someone behind you muttering. “Do it like this.”

When you glance over your shoulder, it’s Natasha, only a few inches from where you stand, hands hesitating before she reaches out. “Back up,” she guides, her hands stationing on your hips and forcing you to take a half-shuffle of a step backwards. “And lift your elbow like this.” You’re clay and she shapes you how she wishes, her touch feather light. “Okay. Now try.”

You do exactly as she says, pool cue shooting from your hand and colliding with the cue ball. The ten you’ve had your eyes on sails into the pocket without any interference. 

“Nice shot, sweetheart,” Natasha says, her voice ghosting along the back of your spine. As you straighten up, you glance behind you, noticing the faint grin along the curve of her lips.

“Well that wasn’t sexual at all,” Wanda comments with a low whistle as the pool cue returns to her grip. “Do losers get laid still? I wouldn’t know.” With a toothy flash of a grin, she draws the cue back and makes another shot — you’re not entirely focused on her efforts, thanks to the gravity of Natasha’s sights still pressing deep into your skin.  

Wanda talks a big enough game that she recruits nearly everyone standing around the pool shot to give it a go, which provides a window of opportunity for Natasha to brush a hand along your shoulder and steal you away. “Up for a smoke?” she asks, and you nod. You allow her to lead the way out through the basement’s French doors, slipping outside into the backyard where the sky is dotted with stars, the air smells only the slightest bit cleaner, and the music is nothing but a dull pulse from inside the house.

Natasha steers you away from the patio where other fraternity brothers and their guests are sitting around, enjoying their drinks and laughing amongst their idle, stoned conversations around the fire pit. You follow her into the grass, trailing around the side of the house until the two of you don’t have any other company aside from each other and Thor’s knockout rose bushes that he takes great pride in.

She leans up against the wall, hands fishing in the pocket of her jacket for her lighter. For someone who’s devoted the rest of their evening to shooting metaphorical (or even literal) middle fingers in Carol’s direction, you’re still too far on edge to be nonchalant about any of it. The quiet is all consuming, maddening inside of your buzzing mind. Natasha produces a joint, embers burning on the end as she lights it and brings it up to her lips. You’re left to watch as she takes a long, casual drag, a cloud of smoke billowing from her lips on the exhale. Her wrist then extends, offering the joint up; if there is such a thing as too eager, you’d be the poster child for it, the way you pluck it from her fingers and take a hit.

“Something on your mind?” she asks, her voice a low drag of gravel against the muted bass thud inside of the house. You open an eye and glance over at her, her green eyes burning holes through you as she watches. 

“Eh,” you mutter half-heartedly with a shrug. “Not worth it.”

You pass the joint back to her after you take one more drag, your eyes fixed on the steady stream of smoke that you forcibly control the exit from your mouth. It’s nice to have control over something, you think, even if it is, to some degree, just seeing how long you can hold your breath. 

“Seems like you could use a distraction,” Natasha comments, fingers idly rolling the joint between her fingers as smoke still curls from the tip. 

You laugh, a low and guttural noise that’s passive at best. “Yeah, probably.”

Natasha turns so her entire body is facing you, and it doesn’t register, the way that she’s looking at you, until you feel her brush your hair off of your face. Your eyes fully open, somewhat surprised by the action, watching her carefully. Natasha’s a lot of things, but gentle isn’t one you’d readily associate with her. It’s almost like she’s handling you like glass, waiting for the right moment to shatter you. It’s a hiccup in your chest, a strange feeling washing over your body.

“Let me distract you, then.” She says it simply, like it’s the most logical conclusion to arrive at.

“Nat, what...”

“C’mere.” One of her hands encircles your wrist, guiding you closer. You follow wordlessly in her guidance, unsure of what she’s doing or what’s to come. She takes another hit of the joint, her eyes glowing the same way the end of the joint does, a low burning fire that seems to grow hotter the longer your eyes are connected. 

The hand holding your wrist slides up your body until she’s cupping your jaw, her thumb darting across the expanse of your face to swipe across your lips in a prompt to open them. She lowers the joint, bringing her face inches away from your own as her mouth forms a perfect circle and releases smoke. You’ve shotgunned weed before, but never at such a close proximity. Natasha breathes out and you breathe in, eyes fluttering shut at the intimacy of the moment. 

“Gonna let me distract you some more?” she whispers, and you barely register yourself nodding before her lips capture your own. Her mouth is plush and soft but nothing about her is gentle anymore — this is where she forces a spiderwebbing crack across your surface, the deft way in which she manipulates your lips to do exactly as she’d like, her tongue skating across the skin and opening your mouth to allow her access. You can’t help but to sigh into the kiss. She is exactly what she claims she is: a distraction, a welcome reprieve, and the golden halo around Carol’s head seems fuzzy and jilted now.

Natasha kisses you like she’s trying to set you on fire; at some point she has absconded the joint and ground out its remnants into the mulch, both her hands cupping your face as she boxes you in with her legs and adjusts the two of you so your back is now flush against the wall. “How’s this?” she murmurs against your ear, lips starting a descent down your neck that is feather light and the gentle scrape of her teeth.

“Very... very distracting,” you stammer out, fingers curling into fiery red hair. 

“Good,” Natasha hums, her mouth vibrating over a particularly sensitive spot on your collarbone that causes your grip in her hair to tighten. “Pretty girl like you shouldn’t be so far in your head.” 

You nod, thankful for the reward of her body pressing against yours. 

“What d’you say?” Her voice ghosts over your skin, and for a moment, you’re not sure what it is she’s asking. It takes a moment, the weed and the liquor clouding your mind, but the dig of Natasha’s blunt fingernails into your hips and the graze of her teeth along your skin serves as motivation. “Huh? What d’you say, princess?” 

“Thank you,” you gasp, the feeling of her mouth tightening around your skin wet and hot sending a glimmer of electricity down your spinal cord. Natasha chuckles, a dark and melodic noise that buzzes through your body. 

“You’re welcome,” she croons. “’S that all you needed? Or do you need more?”

More. It’s the knee jerk response you have, the way your world has narrowed down to just her and the scent of her heady perfume and each individual curve of muscle is now flush against you. Your eyes open only to see Natasha grinning like she’s the fuckin’ devil. 

Maybe you were misplaced somehow.

Natasha’s hands drag over your sides, up and down roughly as she kisses you and forces your legs farther apart so she’s able to snake one of her thighs in between them. She rucks your top up on the edges, fingers brushing over your skin in a delightful contrast to the cool evening air. Natasha is hot, her touch burning and singeing the skin wherever it moves. She’s painting you out of ashes and making you into something beautiful, something uniquely her own. Her hands slip underneath your shirt and you feel one hand trail upwards, fingers wrapping around your breast before squeezing. It elicits another tiny moan from you, which Natasha swallows down with a kiss. “Shh,” she hisses against your lips. “Be quiet.”

You arch into her touch as her fingers slip beneath the cup of your bra and pinch your nipple tight, another squeak of pleasure groaned into her mouth. It only encourages her further, the other hand of hers moving in the opposite direction. “Want me to touch you?” she whispers in your ear while you press your mouth into her shoulder, breath warm against your ear and her teeth just barely missing your earlobe. “Bet you’re not distracted now; only thing you and that pussy are thinking about is me, huh?”

“Fuck, Nat,” you mumble into her skin.

“Yeah you are,” she replies with a shit eating grin, your head tilting back until it roughly meets the back of the wall as her hand goes up your skirt. 

You’d been meticulous prior to coming over, thinking on whatever lone star trailing in the sky that you’d be seducing Carol tonight; you’d purposefully worn your skimpiest pair of underwear just to show her what she could have if she was with you. It’s only when you see the look on Natasha’s face, the way her pupils dilate and her jaw slackens the slightest bit as her fingers skim in between the folds of your thigh and vulva and feels lace that you feel something resembling satisfaction. “You came ready for a distraction, princess,” she grumbles, moving your underwear to the side and swiping her fingers through what is now sheer want dripping from you. “Fuck, you’re wet.”

“N... Nat,” you whine, squirming around in the pursuit of pressure. “Touch me.”

She places the tip of her finger at your entrance, just barely teasing it in. “Ask nicely, honey.”

The words spill from your lips without thought. “Please, Nat, please touch me, fuck m—” She cuts you off as she slips her finger inside of you and you all but rocket up the side of the wall at the feeling. Her free hand, still underneath your shirt, wrestles out from beneath the fabric and is slapped over your mouth to muffle whatever noise you make.

“Thought I told you to be quiet,” she says between her gritted teeth. “Here.” She presses her index and middle fingers against your lips and you acquiesce, opening them wide enough to allow them to slip in. “Suck.”

You do as you’re told, happy to oblige as she begins to finger you. There’s nothing soft or sweet about the way she fucks you; she adds another finger and finds a steady rhythm, curling each time she’s knuckle deep inside of you just so she can be rewarded with you humming around the fingers in your mouth. It amuses her to some extent, the way her eyes have darkened and her mouth is slightly agape. She knows exactly what she’s doing, and considering how tight you are wound, you’re not going to last long.

"Clench around me, pretty girl,” she hisses amongst the other litany of dirty things she’s whispering in your ear. “Such a sweet pussy, does whatever I ask it to; what if I want this pussy all to myself? You gonna let me have it?”

You nod, Natasha withdrawing her fingers from your mouth before she hauls you in for the filthiest kiss of your life. “Fuck,” you whimper against her lips. “Yours, Nat, your pussy.”

“Yeah, I know. This is my pussy now, all tight and hot and wet and desperate just for me. This was what you needed, wasn’t it? Needed me to fuck you silly until you forget how to put one foot in front of the other.”

“Please, Nat, gonna...” 

“What?” she teases, her thumb flicking across your clit and you know that she’s doomed you, mind and body barreling down a track that there is no return from. “What, baby? Use your words.”

“Gonna come,” you manage to get out, and she fucking laughs.

“‘S right,” she agrees. “Gonna make this little pussy come all over my fingers, since I’m the only one who can. That right?” You nod; her fingers tighten in your hair and pull your head back so your neck is exposed for her. “C’mon, baby, wanna see you make a mess on my hand. Come for me like a good little slut. You know you want to.” You do, you do, and everything is bordering on the edge of too much the way Natasha is sucking your neck and rubbing tight circles on your clit. “Show me who’s pussy this is. Come.”

Another few thrusts and flicks of your clit and you are gone, Natasha bringing her mouth back to yours to swallow the keens and cries of you hitting your climax. The brick wall underneath you scratches at your shirt but it is a heavenly feeling, losing control underneath Natasha. She just smiles when she pulls away and you slump into her, perfectly sated. 

“That was hot,” she says with a wicked grin, pulling her fingers out of you. She doesn’t break eye contact as she brings them up to her lips, sucking your taste off of them. Her eyes alight with pleasure, a contented hum reverberating from her vocal cords. “Thanks, pretty girl.”

Beat that, Danvers.