#I wrote it. changed a plot point. started to rewrite it. changed ANOTHER plot point

[aaaaaaaaagenloser]

(Tw: kinda transphobia? Use of it/its for a character who hasn’t declared what their pronouns are yet. Arguments over whether a character is a person or not; that ties into the pronoun thing here. Bonus points for descriptions of canon-typical gore yipeeee)

An update from after writing this: oh this. Got. This one got away from me?? I think I started this at 4 minutes past the hour. It is now 43 minutes past the hour. shitt.

Update; it is now 17 minutes after the NEXT hour. 26 minutes after th last update. I have seen god in the past hour and she shook in fear of both my power and audacity. I have lunch with my family scheduled in like 6 hours and I have not yet slept. This wasn’t meant to be as long as it is but I was possessed and this is the result. I may edit it and make it smoother later but I’ll make that a separate post, I want this sleep-deprived chunk of words to be here as like a monument to the fact that I could have been playing stardew valley during this time but I chose to do this instead

TLDR: long ass story ahead written by a sleep-deprived and hyperfixation-driven author. Who is now going the fuck to BED

“We can’t just keep it! What if it has a tracking device? It won’t let us fucking touch it so there’s no way of knowing it has one unless it leads them right to us!”

“Ok, I hear you but think. That hasn’t happened yet. It’s been about what, three days? and that hasn’t happened, and they haven’t been violent towards any of us at all. They haven’t tried to go back either, so there’s no risk of them telling or leading Showfall where we are.”

“Why do you keep calling it ‘they’?”

“Well they can’t be an “it” now can it? …wait.”

“Ok can we figure out the gender of the thing in the other room after we figure out if it’s a threat to us or not. It’s not even a fucking person, you remember what those things did to you back there, don’t you?”

“Those people were not themselves, they were just doing what he wanted them to do—“

“They’re not fucking people! Those things are all part of Showfall, just like Hetch was! It’s just waiting for the right time to turn us in, or pull some shit on one of us like they did before.”

“They weren’t… they weren’t in control.”

“Yeah like fuck they weren’t, I saw it fucking happen!”

“You can’t just… Ok. Sneeg. Stop. You don’t speak for me, the one who, oh I don’t know, was the one that shit happened to? They were being controlled just like us—“

“No, no, not like us. We were wandering around and not knowing what the fuck was happening. None of us knew what was happening. We just went along blindly. Those things—on purpose—dragged you to that stupid wall and sewed wires into your hands—“

“Shut up, Sneeg—“

“No you shut up! You didn’t see it fucking happen! I saw them and Bitchface literally hold you down until you passed out! They were fucking choking you, they fucking—they nearly fucking killed you with just their hands, that’s not a little suggestion in the back of your brain, that’s on purpose! That is fucking deliberate, that is a thing those machines chose to do! You don’t remember, you weren’t conscious when they fucking stapled you to the wall and strapped your head in—“

Sneeg glanced at Ranboo for a moment in-between pacing as he ranted, and the far away look in their sibling’s eyes shut them up immediately. Ranboo was still present, thank fuck, but they were looking at their brother like he was holding up a knife to their throat.

“Fuck, Ran, okay, okay—I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have… shit. Do you need Charlie?”

“You don’t know when to shut the fuck up.”

“…okay. Okay. I’m sorry. Do you need me to get Charlie?”

“No, I’m fucking fine.” It did not sound like he meant that at all. His voice was less steady than before. “I don’t want him to worry about our… hitchhiker. He’s worrying enough about… well, everything.”

“The fact that it’s here, so close to us is the reason I’m trying to get you to see, Ran. What if it turns on him? What if it does that shit to him when we aren’t there?”

“We will be there.”

“And when it tries anything, we can kill it?”

“Sneeg!”

“You wouldn’t kill it, even if it hurt our fucking brother?”

“Of course we wouldn’t keep them around if they did that, could we at least just… just leave it behind? …wait, no, they couldn’t take care of themselves. If we had to leave it behind, maybe we should…”

Silence lingered for a bit too long.

“We should what, Ran?”

“…Sneeg, I was about to say that killing it would be a mercy.” The Hero laughed. “Doesn’t that sound familiar?”

The Taken didn’t reply.

“We have to help them. I don’t… I don’t want to be on the other end of a mercy killing. I don’t want to hurt anyone anymore.”

“Okay. I’m—are you okay?”

“…m fine. It’s fine. Just. Can you stop acting like they’re any different from us? Please.”

“What do you want me to think then?” His voice was softer than it had been a few minutes before.

“Just assume that they… that they were someone. Just like we were before. And they didn’t… they didn’t do anything on their own, it was all Showfall.”

“Okay. Fine. Let’s assume they were controlled, they didn’t mean to, so on and so forth. Why haven’t they talked yet.”

“I don’t think any of the drones even could talk. Wait, should we really be calling them a drone—“

“Shut the fuck up, Ranboo, we have got to figure out what to do with it. It probably doesn’t even know what is happening, what the fuck does it matter what we call it.”

“It matters to me! Do you want me to call you by your title? Do you want to call me by mine? …No? Then why are we treating them like all they are is what Showfall made them? We had lives before, we were someone, so they must have been too. They might not realize it, or… or act like it, but they used to be someone. They are a whole person, Sneeg. We have to help them, we can’t just leave them behind because that would mean we are giving up on someone just like us, and we cannot give up on each other. They… they would have hurt us by now if they were going to. And Showfall hasn’t found us since… you know, which means there aren’t any more trackers.

…okay, Sneeg?”

“…okay. If it,” he sighed at the look Ran gave them, “if they try anything, we have to leave them behind. I’m not letting a dumbass puppet be the reason we get taken back.”

“If they—ok, whatever, you’re not understanding. You can’t say one of us somehow wanted to be controlled, and they’re a ‘puppet’ but those rules don’t apply to the rest of us—“

“There is not an ‘us,’ Ran! That thing isn’t like us!”

“Guys?”

A sleepy voice shut the two of them up instantly. They had a split-second conversation with their eyes before looking to their brother. ‘We aren’t done talking about this’ ‘You’e absolutely right, so later?’ ‘Later.’ ‘We’re telling Charlie nothing happened?’ ‘Of course.’ ‘Ok good plan.’

“Why are you two fighting? I’m tired, can we please go back to sleep?”

“We weren’t fighting, we were…”

“…talking about plans for tomorrow. And you can go back to sleep.”

“I don’t want to be by myself.” Charlie looked at Sneeg pointedly, who sighed to Ranboo with a playfully annoyed expression.

“Well I guess I gotta go be a teddy bear again.”

“Have fun”

“Absolutely not.”

Charlie punched Sneeg in the shoulder lightly for that, who just giggled in response and led his little brother back to their room.

Which left Ran by themselves.

Some nights, he would join them, but some nights Charlie couldn’t stand to be anywhere near Ran, and the three of them had made a silent mutual agreement that Charlie trusted Sneeg more than he did Ranboo.

…Ranboo was okay with this. He wasn’t hurt by it. He didn’t cry on the nights he slept by himself.

He didn’t wish he could be the one Sneeg comforted sometimes. They were just fine.

They were fine, which is why they went to the living room where their… well. Their hitchhiker? They weren’t exactly a brother, or a sibling, more like a fourth wheel on a tricycle. Or a flyaway hair. Okay, maybe Ranboo needed to get tbr fuck to sleep, alone or not.

But he found himself in the living room, where their hitchhiker slept. Or, didn’t sleep, as they seemed to not need to. They would sit on the couch and stare idly at the tv. That was what had started the whole conversation with Sneeg in the first place; Ran wanted to leave some kind of entertainment for the fourth person so they wouldn’t be made to sit in the dark for hours. Sneeg took this remark as a perfect opportunity to explain all the reasons why the former drone should be abandoned, but Ranboo would have fucking none of it. Maybe the couch potato (shit, he really needed to come up with a name for them—) didn’t seem to sleep, barely ate, and stayed still unless actually verbally told to move, but they were still a person. Ranboo was sure of it.

Their hand wandered up to the fresh scabs where their mask had been. The fourth person had a mask, one that hadn’t been touched. Despite usually staying still, the person—(Ranboo thinks they might just call this person Couch for now. Maybe it’s not accurate, and they’re tired, but it’s something. C, for short.)

C would back away any time the others would try to get near them. And they did in fact try, but despite how creative or sneaky they got, C always ducked away. It reminded Ranboo of the drone who had followed them with a camera, always one step away and never letting the Hero get too close.

The mask turned to Ranboo, who stared back quietly. C hadn’t talked at all, so Ranboo didn’t expect them to suddenly start now. He wasn’t even sure if they understood what was said to them, but Ranboo wanted to try anyways. Better to be polite.

“Do you like the show that’s on? I think it’s called Lucy, or something. I don’t know, Sneeg said it was funny. And it didn’t seem, uh- scary or anything.”

The mask didn’t speak.

“If you want to change it, the remote’s right there, um, I showed you how to use it before. And there’s like, instructions drawn on there. You can thank Charlie for that one.”

…

“I think I’m going to head to bed.”

…

“Fuck it, can I stay here?”

The mask still didn’t speak, but the head hidden behind it tilted a bit at the sudden change in tone. Ranboo took this as an absolute win.

“So I just. I don’t want to be by myself. And I don’t think you sleep, I mean if you just sleep when everyone else is asleep that’s cool, but also if so how do you even? function? on that much sleep? It really isn’t that much but to be fair you don’t do much so maybe you don’t need it. …do you sleep sitting up? And just somehow wake up when we get close? I know, um. Sorry about that, again, we were just worried your mask had a tracker like mine used to.”

Ran laughed nervously. “I think I did convince them that it doesn’t, so that should stop now. If um. If we make you uncomfortable you still don’t have to be touched, it’s, it’s fine.”

Other than the head tilt before, there wasn’t a reply.

“Okay, since. You can’t talk, I’m just gonna… I’ll sit down beside you. On the couch. And if you don’t want me to be that close you can uh- you can leave. Or like, get up, and then I’ll leave. This is the only room with a tv, so I’ll let you stay here, but I can’t tell if you want me to be here or not, so. Okay, sorry, I’m rambling. Just… move if you want me to leave, okay?”

Ranboo waited for a response that didn’t come, then sighed. “Okay.” He kept his hands up and open while sitting down, waiting for a few moments before tucking his feet under himself to get more comfortable. “I’m just gonna stay here, okay? Like I said, just move if you want me to leave.”

The mask had tracked them to where they sat now, but the person—C—didn’t make a move to leave. Ranboo turned their attention to the tv, keeping an eye on their couch partner in their peripheral vision. During a moment of audience laughter in the show—I Love Lucy, they remembered—C turned their head back to the television as they had been before Ranboo walked in.

Seeing as how C (they needed a better name than that—) didn’t speak, this was the closest Ranboo could get to being told “you can stay here.” So they did. A few episodes later, his head was on the arm of the couch and his eyes were closed.

Five turned its attention to the Hero, who was now asleep. He had said it was a person, which was almost hilarious. And the Taken and the Hero seemed to think it couldn’t talk? They had to know it needed to be given permission first: any handler of a Drone or Prop knew that basic rule. It would wait until permission was given: it knew how to obey. It wasn’t meant to speak to a superior unless it was told it was allowed. It would wait.

…in the meantime, it studied its handler, the Hero. The other Actors, their two other handlers, called him ‘Ranboo’ but Five knew that wasn’t his actual label. The Hero was his character in the last show, and so that is who he was. Five didn’t know if Actors had a number, but he had been called the Hero in the script, and so the Hero he will be until the script changes.

It hoped to get new instructions, a new script for itself, something, soon. It was tired of simply watching the Actors go about their incredibly off-script show. It was sometimes told to participate, and since no other superiors were nearby, it had to obey its current handlers. But it was told to participate, to stir eggs, to help clean the kitchen, to attack small webs in corners with a stick with soft spikes on the end. Those sorts of things weren’t it’s usual directive, and so it found itself…

It didn’t resent its handlers. They were doing their best, and they at least knew that they were meant to give it orders. It simply wished they were familiar orders. It wished the Hero had told it to play dead, or play chase, or play camera, or caught, or prop. It would even listen if it was told to power down until needed. At least then it wouldn’t have to be conscious in this boring and unfamiliar set.

.

Y EA I know they probably don’t like tvs. Shhhhhh. I didn’t think about that until like. I had already written the tv part. At this moment it is 55 minutes past th hour and I want these characters to go the fuck to sleep so I can go thr fuck to sleep /lh

And yeah Five only uses “he” for glran. That is intentional. It’ll be talked about and shit later. Something about being put into a role, something about showfall being transphobic, something something I want to go to bed

Powering down = “sleeping” for a drone. Different but similar. I’ll explain how it works later?, anyway The others hav e told Five to “sleep” but it doesn’t understand because it is only ever told to “power down” so it’s like error.sleep_not_found and it stares at them like “bitch you said the wrong. Thing. You’re supposed to know how to control me so you don’t want me to power down I fucking guess” and it’s gonna be really funny after that miscommunication is taken care of.

If you remember the Five Gets A Cold And Wants To Throw Hands With Everyone post, this is wayyy before that. These motherfuckers are fresh out of showfall. Don’t ask how they got a house. I’ll figure it out

I am! Tired! I’m not proofreading this!! Goodnight please give me your thoughts if you have them. I need to know I didn’t sacrifice tbis much sleep in vain /nf /lh (I appreciate words but you are Not required to give them. Love you have a good nigt/p)

[nondelphic]

What's your editing process? I hate going back to read old work, but I know I have to in order to fix it up and make it better. I know that editing helps me improve. I find that generally speaking, I edit as I go. when I finish a chapter, I look back through it to find anything to improve on. But that means that since my author's voice has changed a lot in the past year, chapter 1 reads completely differently to my newer work. But then, when i go back to edit, my mind just blanks on how to make it better. any advice? I'm honestly considering deleting chapter 1 and writing the full thing all over again, but better. I like my plot points and beats in chapter 1, I just don't love the way I wrote it.

i used to edit as i was writing, but i quit because i realised, just like you're reflecting on, that it causes incohesive narration tone (i think that's a thing lol).

now, my editing process is rewrites. for the second draft, i do a full rewrite. i have the first draft open in one tab and the new document in another (using split screen). i find it's way easier to edit like this for the first few drafts because it's much easier to fix plot holes when you know the entire story and don't limit yourself to editing the already existing text. i treat the second draft as a completely new story, pretty much. just with more knowledge of the concept. i don't go into too many details on the linguistics in the second draft.

after i'm done with the second draft i create a third document and do a rewrite again, however, this time, i copy and paste a lot from the second draft (if it sounds good) and start working more on phrasing.

i've never gotten to a fourth draft yet, and idk if it's necessary, but i think once i'm done with my third draft (which i'm currently working on rn on one of my main projects), i'll go back and edit in the same document line-by-line, rather than creating an entirely new doc.

but i would advise against deleting what you wrote in your first two drafts !!! you might realise later you want to keep something or you like how something is phrased, and it's great as a tool for improvement for your future drafts and projects.

hope i could provide you with some helpful insights! good luck with editing !! <333 ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪

[rainrot4me]

haiii!!! feel free to ignore this but could you walk us through your writing process, or just give some writing tips in general? your characterizations and style just hit SO hard :3

Thank you!!! I swear my style/theme changes like the weather, but I will try my best to explain my process! (used small font so it doesn’t take up so much space, lol)

── .✦

Firstly, and it may sound lame, but I stare at Pinterest for hours on end (lmao). I get the most of my inspiration from visual things like aesthetic collage boards, tiktoks, quotes, and color palettes, so Pinterest is a good way for me to get an idea of the vibe I want for something I want to write. I save aesthetic images for each of the Creepypasta’s, so whoever I want to write for, I just russian-roulette and scroll until I find an image that makes me go “omg, that would be such a good vibe for a story,” and go from there.

Secondly, word vomit. All the main points (things like specific dialogue, environment descriptors, or important plot-points), I go ahead and write out before I’ve even decided what the end of the story will be. I get all of my main themes jotted down, and then write the rest of the story around them. (For example, in ‘My Muse’ (the Ticci Toby Halloween story), I wrote out the house-party scene before I even wrote the actual first paragraph in the story because I knew that’s what I wanted the turning point of the story to be).

Lastly, editing *pukes*. Once I’ve gotten down the general just of everything and lined up the story, here comes the exhausting process of reconstructing and reshaping it into something legible for others. All of the tiny little details that you all enjoy so much in my writing usually doesn’t show up until this part, this is where all the transitional and most visually rich content comes from. Even though I may hate this part and it may take the longest, there’s no doubt it’s the most important.

Finally, here’s some tips!

Jesus Christ, just have fun!!!!!! Fanfiction is a community activity, so treat it like it was intended to be enjoyed! If you’re writing something hoping and praying it gets 100k hits and 10k reblogs, then you’re going in for the absolute wrong reasons. Fanfiction is like the weird games you used to play on the playground at school by yourself. You’re alone, until someone comes up and asks if they can join. From there, more and more kids join in your game, and you’ve got yourself a great community of like-minded people all enjoying one thing. Don’t treat it like a job, or an investment, but as the fun, community-rich, positive-focused thing it was meant to be!

Learn what your strengths and weaknesses are. For me personally, I have a terrible time with trying to write dialogue that doesn’t make me cringe, so I find myself rewriting paragraphs over and over again. However, I find I am good at environmental storytelling! So, to combat one thing with another, I make my ability to write out a detailed scene my key element. As many of you have told me, my scenery is what you know me for/enjoy the most, so I am always aiming to improve that. But, I am also taking time to work through my dialogue issues as well! It’s all about balance.

For big projects, make a Pinterest board. Seriously. Visualization is key to keeping things constant from start to finish. (This can be the same for music playlists and tiktok favorites).

Read other fanfiction. You find yourself really liking a creator? Well, what do you like about them? Find whatever draws you to their writing and try to incorporate those themes into your own works (not plagiarizing, obviously). Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, so pick apart all the good aspects of someone’s writing abilities and work on them yourself!

Lastly, be kind to yourself. This should be fun. Why would you want to spend your time stressing yourself out about writing for a special interest that makes you happy? You’ll just end up making yourself hate that thing. Have fun!! Make friends who enjoy the same things as you! Dish compliments like you’ve got unlimited to spare, because guess what, you do!! Kindness and community are never meaningless, so don’t be afraid to show some compassion!!!

Love you all, happy reading and happy writing!!

꩜ .ᐟ

[erinwantstowrite]

Let me just quickly say, cross-overs can sometimes get REALLY difficult to map out and write in a cohesive way but you have absolutely NAILED IT!! I absolutely ADORE LoF!!! I usually don’t even bother reading fics with the ‘Richard Grayson is Richard Parker’ premise cause I felt like they were super confusing and overcomplicated but this fic?? SUPERB. ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE. OH MY GOD I ADORE IT. Everyone’s characterizations are so nice and wonderful aaaaaaah!!!! <33333

Ok ok I did actually have a question as well: would you be willing to share what your writing process looks like in terms of a chapter you’ve already posted? I was just wondering since I’m also currently working on my own fic (it’s been a few years but I managed to get fixated on an idea and it grew legs lol) and I’m currently fighting the organization of it haha.

How do you keep track of the plot points and/or foreshadowing you want to get a ‘lightbulb!’ moment for later? Do you have any tips?

Thank you so much! I absolutely adore your writing AND your art is so gorgeous omg it adds so much to the incredible story :DDD I hope you have a good day!!

I have a secret: I actually didn't like "Richard Grayson is Richard Parker' tag for a while for the same reason. Sometimes they felt like they missed the mark or it's just. A thing that's there? I almost didn't include it for LoF, but I'm glad I did because it changed the direction in such a big way.

Another secret: this made me incredibly happy because I have read so many wikis and scoured the internet to make sure that I had enough info on both fandoms so LoF could make sense to anyone who's reading it, whether they know Spider-Man, Batfam, or neither at all. Sometimes I worry a lot before I post that I'll miss a mark and will confuse people.

As for the question: I definitely am willing to share what my writing process looks like!

Be prepared for under the cut, I love to yap. It's in my blood to yap. And that's why it took a minute to get to this ask haha

(Spoilers for Leap of Faith!! Everything mentioned has already been published ((Chapters 1-11))

I had to go and find out which chapter I wanted to use as an example and I think we're gonna go with Chapter 5 for the most part :)

My writing process is, as described by alighterwood:

I think the description fits because while I'm all over the place, I have to be very detail oriented and I store everything in one spot.

Starting with the overall process, what I find is most helpful for me, when organizing, is having a notebook rather than doing it all digitally. I've been using a 70 sheet notebook that I had lying around waiting to be used, and as of yesterday, I officially filled the entire thing front to back. It's been an incredible help, for a lot of reasons, but mostly because it's a lot easier to remember something I physically wrote down than it is to remember something I typed. I'm now on to my second notebook for LoF, and I might even have to get a third.

In another ask, startupkat asked me this:

And I shared a little about my outline process there, but I'll try to go into a little more depth here. Emphasis on little because this is so long.

I write a truly insane amount of outlines in this notebook.

This is just what I can show you, but a good chunk of the notebook is just outlines. Over and over and over again. That's because they're always changing/adapting based on so many different factors. Sometimes I get to a chapter I thought I had fully planned out and then realize it just doesn't work anymore. Other times, I get to the chapter and realize I don't want to write that anymore/isn't as interesting as I thought it would be. A few times I got halfway through a POV of a scene I was struggling on and decided to switch POV's, which will change up the outline for a chapter every now and then.

Which is why I don't write incredibly detailed outlines and try to keep it vague until I actually get to that chapter. It's a lot less daunting to rewrite a chapter outline than it is to rewrite the entire outline.

Fic outlines and Chapter outlines look a lot alike.

This is what I said in the other ask, but I didn't elaborate on it all the way.

I make a list just like that, and then I try to put it in chronological order/in an order that makes sense. I keep the Fic outline vague by writing down "Goals" for a chapter rather than scenes. But I also keep notes to myself if I really think something is important. The more important I think a scene needs to be, the more details I write down to make sure my future self recalls what I had in mind when I thought it up.

Really simple example:

Chap 1 Goal: Peter gets to Gotham and meets Babs while running around. Meet Nightwing too? Get shelter.

Chapter 2 Goal: Bats are like "???" about Peter. Batfam dynamic important... Peter stalking Batfam back? Peter meet Batman >:)

When I get to a chapter, that's when I make a far more detailed list of wants/needs/goals. It's the Step 2 from the Step 1. Here are some examples from Chapter 5:

Needed to have:

More POV's from universe 1299 (Peter's home universe)

Tony's POV more specifically, how he's doing/feeling, what he's figured out

What they've figured out on 1299 side vs what's going on in 1300 (Gotham)

Explaining more about Peter's trauma/his past

Dick learning more about Peter, and vise versa

Wanted to have:

Ned being a more central character

Natasha :)

Loki being a little shit

Tony and Cap bickering

Peter talking to Nightwing again

The last name Grayson

Gymnastics!!

(This is the shortened list, because the chapters are so long)

When I looked at this list before writing my outline, I had to figure out how I could incorporate everything. If I needed more 1299 POV's, and I wanted Ned, Natasha, and Loki, there's one scene accounted for. I had to get their side of things and wanted that trio together. I needed a Tony POV, and I wanted Tony and Cap bickering, so those went together, plus I got 1299's POV of Ohnn and his plans explained.

I needed to have Peter explaining more about his trauma, and Dick and Peter to talk/get closer. I wanted a Nightwing POV, to have Peter say his last name, and them doing gymnastics. I knew Peter wouldn't willingly talk about that, so I had him have a nightmare. Not only did it give readers perspective but it made Peter more susceptible to talking to Nightwing because he was more emotionally vulnerable/lonely, and that's how that scene came together.

That's when I would write down the chronological order of these events by writing out "Scene Blocks." (This is what I wrote down but my handwriting was so bad I can't subject y'all to it):

scene 1- Ned talking to Loki. Natasha should be nearby and observing Loki's behavior. They are not on friendly terms. Ned is more worried about Peter than he is as to what Loki could be up to, so Natasha takes on that role.

scene 2- Tony is freaking out about Peter being in an alt dimension. He should attack Ohnn when he's not prepared for it. Beat his ass? Beat his ass. Cap there too.

scene 3- Peter's nightmare. "Ben, where do you go when you die?" "Where do you think?" "With you. Where you went."

scene 4- Nightwing and Peter.

Of course, things come to attention when writing. Like originally, Tony and Cap were arguing in the Tower. But it was a little too much like his and Natasha's argument, and I kept in mind that Tony is smart. Sometimes I forget that the characters are smarter than I am, so I have to account for what they would figure out. So Tony would have picked up the puzzle pieces and come to more conclusions than I originally thought about, and I figured he'd be way more proactive about it than just. Being in the Tower and waiting.

Which means that that scene ended up being as listed above: having a squabble with Cap, learning more about Peter's dynamic with the Avengers in this universe, and seeing how Tony is reacting to it by throwing himself head first into trying to capture Ohnn.

I'll realize I need something else to be mentioned or put in and I'll have to shimmy things around, but that's basically how it goes.

As for other forms of organization:

Keeping a timeline is so important because it tells you a lot about the environment your characters are in. It's also important to remember what a character has on them, what money they've spent, who they've met/who you have mentioned, every alias that is being used, to read your work and write down edits you want to make before you make them, to write down ideas beforehand of situations you can use, and, most importantly: MAKE A MAP!! This has saved me so many times. Sometimes your brain WILL trick you or make it harder on you to envision a scene. Make a map of where your characters are physically!! It will save you too!!

As for foreshadowing and plot points, I'll let you in on yet another secret:

Your subconscious is doing a lot more than you think it is.

Sometimes when I foreshadow something, I didn't even know I was until I got to it. I very often go back to read chapters that came before this to see what I've mentioned and what I haven't, and when I do, I'll see something and go "I have to bring this back" or "I almost forgot about that!"

Other times, I am very aware of what I'm foreshadowing, and that's because I follow a mystery plot formula. You have to keep in mind everyone's intentions, all the time. How are they feeling? What are their motivations? And: what are they doing right now, while this character is doing this?

Like Beck and Ohnn. From the very beginning, I knew I had to make sure that it was obvious Ohnn wasn't working alone. From there, I had to weave through the story and slowly build him up as someone who's working behind the scenes. Even from Ned's first POV, I made sure to mention that this person knows Tony and is tech savvy.

My biggest tip is to make sure you reread your work or at least skip through it, because sometimes you don't even know that you placed something there.

And sometimes, it's very purposeful. :)

I hope this helped! I really tried to keep it short but I am insane and the process is sooooo long. It sounds complicated but it really is simple when you're actually doing it I swear

[whatlurksbean]

any advice for someone starting comics who feel like the storytelling side is their weak point? i started a couple comics but always loose steam on them because i feel like the storytelling/plot/writing is my weak point, and ive found the plots and characters i come up with so uncompelling that it feels embarrassing to even use them, its never been something ive been interested in ive always just been passionate about the art side and never been awfully good at writing as a whole, but i could spend hours diving into stylizing artwork to look like various types of comics and ive had that itch to just make something. am i just built to work freelance being paid to draw someone else's story or do most comic makers feel like that and what ways do people improve?

Writing is also an art! It is something that takes years of practice and learning and it's absolutely fine to aim to improve with it. It is a skill to refine!

I would say, that if it is not something you are passionate about though, you could try looking at other options.

Collaborative stories with friends are an option! Rabbit on The Moon comes to mind, it's a collaborative comic that my friends did. Songdog wrote the script, and Nitteh illustrated and designed the characters. It's a lovely story, and beautifully drawn, I can't recommend it enough.

You could also consider public domain stories! Adaptations are done for a reason! You could make a comic of a an old folktale, or adapt a fable or greek myth, while having the flexibility to do whatever changed you want! There are quite a few webcomics I love that are based on public domain/myths, it can take some of the pressure off of you as a writer.

There is also the freelance option you mentioned. If you're not too passionate about the writing aspect, and are mostly invested in the art, getting paid to do it seems like a pretty winning option!

To be honest, the writing has always been the part I am passionate about. I am constantly writing and rewriting stories in my notes, I have dozens upon dozens of comic concepts written up and even scripted that I can only hope to get to. I like doing lineart and expression work, but the rest of the art process is only the means to an end for me. It's not my focus and would happily hire artists if i had any sort of budget lol

I do not think it is uncommon for creators to be into one aspect more than another, I think it's about just figuring out what works best for you.

[kingskyless]

thoughts on natlan's arc in genshin🌋

tldr: i'm pissed off!! watch me rant about storytelling under cut. please take your storytelling seriously and with love, jesus christ

this is long btw! this is what happens when you piss me off with your poor writing choices! i crave blood!

--

these are thoughts i wrote on my private twitter but i'll put them here too, why not.

i really, really don't like being negative towards anything anymore, chosing to embrace the silliness of poor storytelling and just grab what i do love, but man did the final act for natlan piss me off

I've been waiting for Natlan since the game came out because we knew it was going to be inspired by pre-hispanic America. Aztecs. México. (i'm mexican for context) and it was!!! with the inclusion of Maori, Peruvian, Lakota, Hawaiian and Yoruba. and it was done Horribly

Natlan is still mostly inspired by México though, I made a whole video on genshin's mexican rep, when it comes to overworld, food, names, music and lore inspiration yeah, the Mexican rep is done well and very fun! but it's still mixed with the cultures previously mentioned which is bad!!

and it gets WORSE because you look at the characters, be it playable or NPCs and nothing about them is mexican (or any of the previous cultures) nothing at all, and that's when the issues start.

I literally made a tumblr post a few days ago how I didn't think Natlan's story was bad, we just didn't connect with the characters due to character design. And while it still holds truth, this final act just undoes all the build-up it had in the previous acts, leaving no true conclusion and, therefore, ruining the story as a whole. a lá game of thrones.

Natlan in its first 3 acts was actually really well done, presenting the different tribe cultures, character personalities and how they mix with one another, and they had very strong set up for more world building and Very Important Lore Reveals (the Abyss having a "heart", dragons, THE SHADES, FALSE SKY?) I really enjoyed myself playing the first acts!

But the marketing makes you distance yourself from the characters, devs decided to push back the culture of the tribes in game and delay the next acts of the story, and you disconnect!!!

going back to the first acts and it's wonderful set up, then what is the point of having all this beautiful set up, only to just - not explore it in the CLIMAX OF THE ARC. and it was very very important lore and conversations to move the story forward and raise the stakes!!!

and they ignored it or barely mention it!!! yes having all the answers shown at you is not fun, and they can totally explore these aspects of the lore later on, but by the way Natlan was written from the start it was 10000% expected to have those conversations in THIS arc.

there's also the set up that's been there since the games release. None of this is explored, we don't know who "he" is, who's the crossed out name, what was the secret of the god of war. there's nothing, this is never explored.

NOTE: that it is true the story was revisited or straight up rewritten way after this material was released, it is something that can happen during production, it partially happened with sumeru already. the thing is when you make changes like these, if you already established in previous trailers or manga certain lore, you have to be extremely careful, as the audience is already expecting something like this to happen in the story. when you rewrite this and there's no pay off it causes confusion and frustration among the audience, as you are no longer following what you set up and it creates plot holes a throw away line about the muratans or murata would've done to connect the manga with the current natlan, but there's not even that.

They establish very important new characters, but don't explain their true role in the story beyond "evil" . What is Gosoythoth? why can it become a dragon? why are there voices around it? why are the former archons so negative? . Sure, we as an audience can make headcanons about it (and some answers were partially told, not nearly enough though) but it's information that needs to be talked about in the story, but the characters never question this and it's never explored.

and we KNOW they can write compelling characters and stories because Fontaine is right there!! it explores very important lore and intertwines it perfectly with the cast and their own personal struggles, what the fuck happened in Natlan.

it just pisses me off and makes me very sad, I was excited for natlan for many years because, for better or for worse, that's my culture they're taking to tell this story, and seeing them fuck up both frustrates me.

i'll keep playing because i still want to see how they wrap it up but aaaaa, i haven't been this mad since Inazuma, and i dont think Inazuma pissed me off this bad.

the following is things that bothered me personally and not something i can criticize from a storytelling standpoint:

the entire traveler parade after beating gosoythoth made me uncomfortable to no end. really really giving white saviour. it draaaged and everyone was kissing their feet and i was PRAYING for more depth in that but no! fuck me!

if you wanted to have the corny ass parade, okay, have it, but maybe show the traveler not being as happy? or carrying mental wounds after the battle??? GIVE THEM DEPTH OR SOMETHING?????????

you couldve expanded on the four shades, expanded on the abyss, expanded on the angels, expand on xiuhcóatl, expand on fucking gosoythoth since it was literally right there???? flesh out paimon, flesh out the main cast????

and totally flesh out capitano, he did absolutely nothing and he's the first of the harbingers, we just saw him get his ass beat by mavuika in the first act and then nothing??? (cutscene was great!) im not mad at the ending he got, it was very in character, i just wish there was more to him

natlan was set up as a nation of dragons and we learned nothing of them in the main arc, it set up the abyss having a personification and we learned nothing of it

this is mostly something i wouldve loved, but they set up the shades and time manipulation as we saw from mavuika, and no mention of istaroth??? hello???????????

also how did ororon know about nahidas power????

[friendlybowlofsoup]

Another Update

Hello Friends,

I have a rather long (but optimistic!) update to share with you all today. As many of you are probably tired of reading these kind of posts, I have a TL;DR here, but I did want to share what has been on my mind in that past half-year that I haven't been here.

It has been rough, and busy as always, but I think I'm finally facing myself and my project for the first time in a very long time.

TL;DR (it's actually long, I have a lot to say (*_ _)人)

I soul-searched and decided to stop compromising on my own feelings with regards to this project. I gave in to everything I wanted to do.

Plot changes, which means some character changes, which means some of the demo is outdated.

GotRM will be switching over to Twine.

----

OH MAN DID I SUFFER THE LAST FEW MONTHS

After my previous update, I hunkered down and really analyzed how I wanted to proceed with GotRM as a project. Because even prior to that post, I had already been going through long periods of hiatuses (which you are all aware of), and while I didn't lie about school taking up my time, I was also harboring a growing dissatisfaction with my own writing that really killed my progress for a long time.

So after everything had settled, I sat down and forced myself to peel apart my work. I know I said I would answer asks, but I uninstalled all of my social media and put aside this blog to focus. I made a note of all the things I liked and didn't like, and I made a list of things I wanted to change or improve on. The biggest point was that I also looked at my efficiency during actual writing sessions: how much of my time was spent writing vs. fighting with code? How could I change that?

And after a lot of deliberation, I figured there were a few things I had to change from the ground up, summed up in four points:

My working style was super incompatible with grad school. I can't spend 20-30 minutes scrolling up and down CSIDE checking code or looking for narratives while also jumping between chapters to make sure events line up. As this story grows, the more difficult it becomes to keep track of all the branches, so I needed an alternative working method, which I am adhering to now, and it prioritizes efficiency.

I hated the way I was tracking and coding stats in-game. I have griped so much about coding stats, and I have adhered to such a rigid style that I really felt trapped whenever I was confronted with balancing them out. So I'm throwing that to the wind and redoing how I utilize and convey them. Player-side, this decision doesn't change much since I never fully utilized stats in the demo anyway, and the stats page with indicators will still exist, but I'm getting rid of stat bars and how I treat stat checks.

The story I want to write now is different from the one I started out with. I've known for a while that GotRM was becoming far more than the tiny, wishful novella that I wrote as a teenager. I held onto that old story for a long time, but there's just so much I want to change that I realized I'd been clinging to a story I no longer enjoyed writing. So I spent the majority of the last few months rewriting GotRM from scratch. I redid some worldbuilding, I changed a lot of plot points, and I fixed a lot of characters' backstories accordingly. This meant scrapping stuff from even the demo, but that turned out to not be the biggest issue because:

I wanted to branch away from ChoiceScript. Honestly, I never really cared about getting officially published, but the camaraderie in the forums and on Tumblr were why I committed to CS and CoG. However, ultimately, I really want the functionality that other tools can offer GotRM, and so after a long internal debate, I will be switching over to Twine. Fortunately, since I was rewriting everything anyways, this has been relatively painless, and passage mapping has made everything so much neater. I am trying my best to make it up to chapter 2 before I release the new demo, so please look forwards to that!

And so yes, I am still here, chugging along.

I love this game and this story: it's been my creative escape for as long as I could remember, and you can imagine how frustrated I was when I realized I was starting to dread working on it.

I am forever learning more about myself and my writing style, and this is simply more of that journey. Thank you everyone for sticking around, for joining the discord, and for checking up on me--that I have all of you has truly been a dream.

Hopefully more updates to come soon! I understand that there may be questions about these new changes, so please ask away! I will (try) to release some asks that I've been working on in the drafts too, but I will wait until at least tomorrow to release them so that this post doesn't get drowned out immediately.

And as always, with a lot of love,

FriendlyBowlofSoup (Mei)

[dragimal]

Beastars Season 3 Adaptation

now that I FINALLY got around to finishing s3 (part 1, at least), I NEED to gush abt it cus' like, I can't fully articulate how much legwork this season does for the last arc of Beastars

s1 and s2 are pretty faithful adaptations of the manga, with only a few minor changes that add some much-needed context or depth (like giving Tem a friend + diary in s1, cutting the scene of Bill blackmailing Louis in s1, and giving Pina a more active role with Riz in s2). they're appreciated changes, but nothing too unexpected or ground-breaking

s3 is a completely different beast (pun intended): it completely re-shuffles the order of events, adds in new depth/context for certain events and characters, pulls in old characters from previous seasons, and most importantly it connects all the plot beats and characters so they actually affect one another in narratively-satisfying ways

the manga has always been a horrifying pretzel-knot of wasted time, bad pacing, and misplaced narrative priorities, but the last arc is especially bad. the last arc is such a parade of bullshit, I genuinely have a hard time remembering the order that certain events take place; it was actually kinda confusing to watch s3, bc I couldn't always remember the sequence of events in the manga vs anime, or whether something had already been adapted or not, lmao. imo, the manga's last arc is about double the length it needs to be to get across the same information and narrative beats-- and that's without even fixing what's actually wrong with the story being told in the first place (I already wrote the whole essay abt it [link], I won't get into it again)

it was so shocking and refreshing to see that same story told leagues more competently than Itagaki has ever told basically any story (besides maybe Drip Drip). I may still not particularly like or even respect the story being told, but the anime team can only do so much with the material they're given-- I fully respect the clear passion and labor exerted to basically rewrite the entire last arc in such a way (and that's before all the effort of adapting it to an anime format in the first place)

anyways, here's a non-exhaustive list of changes I particularly like (+ a few changes I don't like at the end)

Things I Like

1) Kines Conspiracy

I think the biggest, most ground-breaking change to this entire arc is the addition of the Kines drug conspiracy

context for anime-onlys: the energy drink is just a forgettable, one-off chapter (ch 113-114) that just exists to emphasize the tension of Legosi's pure nature yet violent approach to justice, and to spur his conversation with Louis about his herbivore fetish. the drink and its associated drug NEVER come up again, and they're completely irrelevant to anything else that happens in the series

now, the anime team could have chosen any random element to tie together the last arc more neatly, but I think using Kines specifically is a genius move. Kines provides the perfect amount of "under-the-table" intrigue and tension that we've come to expect from Beastars, while also connecting such disparate, moving parts as the Shishigumi, Kopi Luwak, and Melon into the same conspiracy. it also gives investigating characters like Yahya, Louis, and Legosi more of a connection point to start working together towards the same goal. and I particularly like the addition of the new, minor lab researcher working with Louis to investigate the components of Kines-- it makes sense! Kines is exactly the connective tissue that the last arc was sorely lacking, I love it!

I will say that I'm a bit dubious of the deeper conspiracy aiming to ruin carnivore reputations further, it seems like. it doesn't rly work when carnivores do in fact still have instincts to maim/kill herbivores, even without the drug's influence. but I already don't like the whole "instincts for violence" thing that's already baked into og Beastars, so I can't be too upset at the anime team for working around that established lore. and that conspiracy has only been hinted at anyways, so I'll reserve more judgement for part 2

2) Shishigumi and Melon

finally, I understand how/why Melon became the new boss, when the lions clearly wanted nothing to do with him in the first place!

Melon has the resources they need, and the unflinching threat to back up his claims, even if the lions are dubious at first. and seeing that specific scene of their first meeting is so thrilling too, with Melon subduing the Shishigumi in basically one fell swoop. we desperately needed that scene in the manga, and the anime team delivered!

3) Melon's Introduction

speaking of Melon, the anime fixed his intro holy shit!!! his intro in the manga pisses me off so bad!

context for anime-onlys: Melon's very first introductory chapter, ch 124, is his confrontation with Yahya in the fake therapy room (where Yahya doesn't even get hurt in the manga, btw-- another anime improvement, I like seeing Yahya get his ass handed to him). and I kid you not, within that same chapter,

[image ID: Beastars ch 124. Melon revealing his face by ripping off his face mask, showing off his combination of gazelle facial structure, ears, and horns, + his leopard muzzle, fangs, and tongue. as he playfully smirks, he says, "I just so happen to be a half-leopard, half-gazelle." end ID]

-- we get a name, we get a face, we get a (shallow) motivation. no build-up, no rising tension, just an immediate reveal.

and THEN, in ch 129, we get this awesome scene:

[image ID: Beastars ch 129. Melon is wearing a decorative mask covering his full head, laced down his snout and up over his head. he's ripping it apart from the center seam as Legosi watches on in tense anticipation. when the mask is finally off, revealing his whole face, Melon sighs with a smile, "Ahh. Couldn't breathe with this mask on." end ID]

and it makes me so mad that THIS isn't the first time we see Melon's face...

... then the anime fixed it! I literally ranted abt this exact thing in my essay, and the anime fucking did it on their own! not only that, but they extended the suspense of not seeing Melon's face and motivations even longer in the anime, coyly covering his face until his first, critical face reveal! like, the scene where he's talking up above the lions in the rafters, covered by complete darkness, ougghhh it's so good. I could kiss the anime team for this alone!!

4) Kopi Luwak

the Kopi Luwak organization makes sooo much more sense in the anime, and has way more of a narrative purpose! they have access to valuable, unique resources, and they're making a unique drug for the Shishigumi! finally, they're relevant!

context for anime-onlys: the Kopi Luwak only shows up for about three chapters (ch 142, 145, and 147), and barely does anything. their only purpose is to share a very small piece of information on Melon with the investigative team-- that Melon has a PHD. but that doesn't even matter, bc this info never amounts to anything: nobody really uses Melon's knowledge/background to their advantage (besides maybe the quiz show, but that's pretty minor in the long-run), and nobody finds out that Melon is a professor at a local college (besides Louis by chance from Haru, but it's too late to use the info by that point). after that, the Kopi Luwak never show up again, and they never work with the Shishigumi

I'm not even sure they were actually framed as "bad" or even "questionable" by the narrative in the manga. sure, they creep on hybrid toddlers for their blood in ch 142, but we never get an explanation for what they were even trying to do with the blood besides ambiguous "research". they seem to be framed as "misunderstood" for simply trying to research/understand hybrids. and sure, they're clearly a eugenics organization, bc Deshico wants to study hybrids for their "worth"... but this is no more eugenic than literally any of the rest of Beastars, especially framed as Deshico's "eccentric" research hobby

all to say-- I appreciate the Kopi Luwak being fleshed out into an actual, underground criminal organization with clearer, more dubious goals in the anime

tho the garden maze is kinda goofy-- it made more sense in the manga, when the lions had to navigate unfamiliar parts of the city to find Kopi Luwak. and why does Deshico shit out in the garden maze now? is it just for funsies agdhjfk??

5) More Character Interactions

I'm probably forgetting some, but I love that the reshuffling allows for new character interactions we don't get in the manga.

like, the mayor makes a comeback we never get in the manga, and he even threatens Ogma! that's cool! and Yahya and Gouhin apparently know about each other, even if we never see them formally meet-- that's something! and Legosi visits his mom's grave! and Legosi actually discusses his interspecies relationship with Gosha! and the strip show ladies come back, giving Legosi a more interesting in to the masquerade party! and Yahya and Louis get to meet! oh my god!!

6) More Gouhin

it's kinda weird how the manga almost completely drops Gouhin as a character in the last arc, cus' he prolly should've been more concerned abt the state of the Meat Market under Melon's influence. so I appreciate that he has more scenes with Legosi as a mentor figure, in the anime

I particularly like the time Legosi spends in recovery at Gouhin's clinic after ripping out his fangs-- his recovery didn't get ANY time at all in the manga! the manga says he spent "several days" at the clinic, but it literally feels like he's there for a day before he leaves with a new set of fake teeth at the ready. but in the anime, we get to see the consequences for a bit

[image ID: Beastars s3 ep 6. Legosi looks at his face in a mirror, dismayed at his cartoonishly-swollen snout. end ID]

he ate a fucking bee!!! afgshdfkj

7) More Haru

a bit more Haru YAYY. I LOVE that the anime adds more personalized activities for their date on Legosi's birthday-- the plant shop and insect museum! aww! and the ferris wheel with the gate blocking them off from each other, and how it has little love lockets on it, as if they aren't the first carni-herbi couple to sit there, wishing to be together 😭 boy I die

I love seeing Haru do at least something botany-related again, and I appreciate that the anime gives her a specific motivation for her degree

[image ID: Beastars s3 ep 6. Haru says to a fellow rabbit friend, "I want to open a restaurant. I want to serve vegetarian meals that even carnivores can enjoy. That way everyone can enjoy a meal together." end ID]

tho I will admit that I'm a bit torn on it

on the one hand, it feels like Haru's not allowed to exist outside of Legosi, yet again. she's never shown an interest in food before this, so for her to pivot her personal botany interest in this direction, specifically reflecting her relationship with Legosi... idk, it's just kinda grating to me

like, Legosi is allowed be interested in entomology without it relating to Haru at all

[image ID: Beastars ch 158. Legosi saying, "I never told this to anyone, but I always wanted to be an insectarium keeper ever since I was a little kid!" end ID]

[Image ID: Beast Complex ch 25. Haru narrating in her head, "Legosi-kun has since passed his high school equivalency exam and is now a 1st year in the Southern Entomology College, while I'm in my 3rd year." end ID]

it just feels like yet another way that Legosi is allowed to be independent, while Haru MUST warp her life around Legosi

on the other hand, this is still (allegedly) a romance story (I have my doubts), that's somewhat about food, eating, and bridging gaps of difference across species. it makes narrative sense to connect the romantic leads' interests, and it's a cute choice in any case. I've seen some fanfics where Legosi talks about how insects can help plants, so maybe he could do something in conjunction with Haru's botany. it's very sweet, and I'd be way more into Haru's anime motivation if Legosi extended a similar level of consideration to overlapping their interests that way

and at the end of the day, giving Haru any motivation is better than her complete lack of explicit motivation in the manga, so I'll take it lmao

8) Yahya's Design

if you're an anime-only, you do NOT understand how badly Itagaki draws horses.

[image ID: Beastars ch 102. a side view of Yahya's head. his eyes are pushed strangely flat against the top of his skull, and the tip of his snout is weirdly pushed out past his connected nostrils. end ID]

there are... simply no words

granted, Itagaki learns to draw Yahya much better over time, and I'd even argue he looks very beautiful. but he... still doesn't look like a horse.

[image ID: Beastars ch 188. a side view of Yahya's head. he looks a bit more normal, but his snout has an oddly sharp, outward angle, and his nostrils are still thin and connected like a gazelle's. end ID]

so seeing Yahya with something like an actual horse head in the anime is truly mind-blowing

[image ID: Beastars s3 ep 4. a 3/4ths view of Yahya's head. he looks mostly like a horse, with anime eyes. end ID]

but wait, there's more! not only does Itagaki draw horse heads bad, she doesn't know what horse tails even look like in the first place

[image ID: Beastars ch 111. a full-body view of Yahya from behind. his tail has mostly short fur, with long hair at the tip. end ID]

context for those who have never seen a horse before: long hair covers a horse's whole tail, not just the tip.

[image ID: a real-life photo of a horse's rump, with the tail flicked outward [link]. long hair covers the full tail. end ID]

now, I expected the anime to go one of two ways on his design: 1) they'd just change Yahya's tail to a more realistic horse tail, or 2) they'd keep Itagaki's design and try not to bring attention to it

I did NOT expect the anime team to give Yahya a tail cozy

[image ID: Beastars s3 ep 3. a side-view of Yahya's lower half. most of his tail is wrapped in a slim-fit, blue sock, leaving long hair free at the tip. end ID]

they managed to make his design more realistic, without technically changing the original visuals. it even feels like something Yahya would choose to do, bc ppl will sometimes wrap the top half of real-life horse tails to keep them neat, clean, and out of the way. beautiful. flawless. incredible. this is simultaneously hilarious and genius, I love it

9) Louis' Leg

Louis' prosthetic foot looks dumb as shit in the manga, god bless the anime redesign

[image ID: Beastars ch 158. Louis' prosthetic leg. it has a lacquered-wood base attached to the flesh part of his leg, with a metal supporting rod connecting to the foot. the "foot" is shaped like a bizarre, sharp metal zig-zag. end ID]

[image ID: Beastars s3 ep 1. Louis' prosthetic leg. we can't see the foot within the shoe, but the leg section has a sort of high-tech, sporty design, with a dark green/gold color scheme and a little switch that currently reads "walk". end ID]

which, tbf, we never see the actual foot outside of the shoe, but we do see extra, less-elaborate prosthetic legs at Louis' house in the anime. they have normal prosthetic feet, so I can only assume this one is normal too

not sure how realistic the leg section is, but at least it looks cool. tho I think the lacquered-wood manga leg fits Louis' vibe better than the like... extreme sports, high-tech look of the anime leg

10) More Tension With Gosha

[image ID: Beastars s3 ep 3. Legosi says to Gosha, with a bit of bitterness, "You couldn't help Mom when she was in trouble, either." end ID]

this is just a small tweak from the og manga, but this one line adds a layer of depth to Legosi's relationship with his grandpa that we don't rly explore otherwise. the entire family situation between Gosha, Leano, and Legosi is deeply fucked up in a very real way, and I'd argue that it's the most compelling relationship in the entire story

everyone is hurting in their own ways, and inadvertently hurting each other through their own coping methods. Gosha is a very avoidant, non-confrontational person, and this approach to conflict prolly further isolated Leano, despite his deep love for her. a combination of trying to respect Leano's boundaries + his internalized hate of his own species/venom led to Gosha ignoring the severity of her condition, failing to push back against Leano's Komodo insecurities

as a kid raised by a deeply mentally ill parent myself, I think that a child's anger and lack of forgiveness for their treatment can exist alongside the understanding that the parent may have been doing the best they could given the circumstances, or that they made understandable (if still deeply regrettable) mistakes. you can try your best, but still fail and fuck up someone you care about. I think Legosi should be allowed to be more angry at BOTH Gosha and Leano, even if I wouldn't necessarily blame either of them for Going Through It

I just wish we could see a similar touch of anger from Legosi when he meets Leano again as a ghost, but I'm happy to have this small bit with Gosha, at least. and Legosi's hesitance to blame his mom for anything is prolly attributable to his guilt that he didn't turn around around that fateful night Leano hugged him... AUGH the tragedy of it all, they make me crazy!!

11) School Segregation Plot

mixed feelings on the school plot, but I largely like it

Cherryton is kinda dropped from the manga plot in the last arc, beyond a few chapters here and there about specific characters. it makes some sense, considering most of the main cast is out of school by that point, but the lack of resolution for anything involving the drama club kinda bothers me. like, there was all this fanfare abt rebelling against the segregation policy, and then... nothing came of it at all??

so on the one hand, I rly appreciate the inclusion of some more drama club action. especially Legosi meeting the club again, that scene is super cute! and now we can finally see how the club is actually responding to the segregation policy!

except it feels like s3 is trying to retroactively change the decision the club made in s2. the anime rehashed the "voting on whether to keep the club" scene that happened in ch 78 of the Riz arc, which was already adapted into ep 7 of s2. that rly threw me off my game-- it genuinely made me think that the anime hadn't adapted that scene in s2 and I just forgot abt it, until I double-checked s2 again and remembered oh yeah, they did adapt that already, lmao

it's weird, but I guess I can kinda understand it-- it seems like the anime team really wants this new rewrite where the club initially adheres to the rules, then decides to push back later on. I still think there could have been a better way to just keep the s2 decision while dealing with the segregation conflict (like, what happened to Juno being Adler??), but I guess they have different plans

I'll admit, the new scene with the club split by the wall is p good, and I'm excited to see the new play they come up with in part 2!

12) Juno and Legosi's "Date"

I appreciate that the "interviewer" that interrupts Legosi and Juno's "date" in ep 7 is switched to a random, rude streamer. in the manga, Juno and Legosi are walking by the scene of a devouring incident, when a news reporter asks them their thoughts on interspecies relationships. it feels a lot less callous for Juno to cry over her relationship issues in response to a rando harassing her at a restaurant, rather than in response to the literal dead body of an herbivore

unfortunately, the anime is missing Legosi's advice to take care of your body, so that's a bummer

Things I Question or Don't Like

1) No More "City Life"

so technically there's a short arc between the Riz arc and the Melon arc that I've seen termed "City Life", where Legosi adjusts to life on his own in the city. it serves as an introduction to Legosi's new setting/situation, touches base with Haru and Louis' college lives, and introduces new supporting characters (Yahya, Gosha, Seven, and Sagwan)

but it's also mostly just Itagaki faffing around, waiting for the next major villain + conflict to occur to her-- at least it seems like that to me. and honestly, I don't even mind it. when I say that Beastars has pacing issues, I am NOT talking about the one-off extra chapters about side-characters, or about some breathing room between arcs

sure, it is kinda jarring to suddenly get a whole slice-of-life arc dropped into a story that's largely been a fast-paced shounen drama up to this point-- that's definitely worth some narrative criticism. but I'm personally willing to excuse it on the grounds of... well, I like it for once. Itagaki writes short one-offs much better than long narratives, and this entire 26-chapter arc almost feels like an extension of Beast Complex in that way-- just a little bundle of stories about different characters

all to say that this arc was heavily truncated and reshuffled for the anime, for obvious reasons. the anime doesn't have nearly as much time to work with, so I absolutely do not blame the team for basically cutting that arc (even if I do miss the rooftop bbq scene 😭)

however, I do believe a few, more critical scenes were cut

A) Udon Shop

for one, a lot of establishing scenes in the udon shop were cut, and I feel like that's a shame. we don't see much of Legosi adapting to his new work environment in the anime, and most of his coworkers are completely gone (I miss you Miika!! 😭)

cutting this scene in particular is a real loss to me

[image ID: Beastars ch 104

all of Legosi's new carnivore coworkers (a lion, raccoon, barn owl, and stoat) have bundled him into a conspiratorial-yet-friendly huddle, as they declare, "Now let's take another trip to the Back-Alley Market and throw you a welcome party!"

Sunaga the barn owl: "I'll take you to my favorite meat restaurant."

Thomas the raccoon: "Yeah!"

Legosi blanches, saying, "What?! What?! (You're hurting my shoulder.) W-wait!! I can't go to the Back-Alley Market!"

Miika the lion: "Huh?! Oh right, you're only 17."

Sunaga: "You haven't been there before? But you know what kind of place it is, right?"

Legosi: "Th-that's not what I mean. We've been working alongside herbivores this whole day...! How can you even think about going to the Back-Alley Market to eat meat?!"

Miika, looking concerned while the others look a mix of confused and bored: "...We were thinking about you, Legosi-kun. Really. We're carnivores, so we know what you're dealing with."

Miika, placing her hand on Legosi's shoulder: "You had a violent experience eating meat, right? And you avoid touching the herbivore staff because you're suffering from meat withdrawal... You need to eat meat from dead animals, the kind that's sold in the Back-Alley Market."

Legosi doesn't respond, looking conflicted.

end ID]

customer service forces Legosi into contact with all kinds of animals, including herbivores, and he struggles to cope as he's dealing with his newfound meat withdrawal symptoms. kinda sucks not to see that

B) Seven

we're also missing Seven's entire backstory and actual first meeting with Legosi in ch 100. context for anime-onlys: Seven did not first meet Legosi outside their apartments in their building-- check ch 100 for a more interesting first encounter. and the anime hints at the abuse she faces in the workplace, but ch 100 gives a lot more background for that too

it's especially weird, considering the anime kept so many other scenes between Legosi and Seven, so I think anime-onlys are missing a lot of critical context between them

2) Yahya and the Meat Market

I've already mentioned a few narratively-relevant bits that were cut (like Legosi's advice to Juno abt taking care of your body, or the udon coworkers trying to help Legosi, etc.), but this is one major scene that absolutely should NOT have been cut from the anime, and it's frankly criminal that it was

for context, this is directly before Legosi's dinner with Yahya, as Legosi is making his way to the police station to meet Yahya for the first time:

[image ID: Beastars ch 116

Legosi looks at graffiti on a bathroom stall reading, "Monster; Yahya must be killed and eaten"

Legosi thinks to himself, "Yeah, it's just as I remembered... 'Must be killed and eaten...' I know this is the Back-Alley Market, but this is still extreme. They could've just put 'must pay' or 'must be brought down' or something..."

Legosi continues narrating as he sees more graffiti around the Back-Alley Market, "They have this graffiti at public bathrooms,"

Legosi: "-- back alleys," here we see graffiti reading, "Eat Yahya; Turn him to horse meat"

Legosi: "-- tunnels," here we see graffiti reading, "Yahya is a black devil"

Legosi: "-- Telephone poles," here we see graffiti reading, "kill Yahya; Damn Yahya"

Legosi thinks as he looks up at the wall behind him, "-- Even here." the graffiti reads, "Bring Yahya here on a plate."

Legosi: "The graffiti I see in the Back-Alley Market is filled with hatred for 'Yahya-san'."

a lioness meat-seller hands a bag of innards to a raccoon customer in the foreground, as Legosi continues to think, "If the Back-Alley Market hates him... Does that mean that the outside world treats him like a hero... and an ally among herbivores? That would make sense... Carnivores have to eat and sell herbivore meat in secret."

Legosi is startled as the raccoon trips while running past him. a canine crouches down to help the raccoon, saying, "Whoa, are you okay? Take my hand!"

the raccoon smiles while taking the canine's hand, "Hehehe, that was dangerous. Thanks."

the canine responds, "You shouldn't be flailing about with your small body."

an old lion looks on, commenting, "This road's getting old and bad. I wish we could just turn it to pavement..."

a bird-of-prey meat-seller turns to her big-cat coworker, "It's not like the government office is going to give us money to do that... It'll just get older, this road and this market."

the big-cat meat-seller responds, "maybe we should put up some signs."

as Legosi watches this scene unfold, he thinks to himself, "Is the Back-Alley Market 'evil'...?"

Legosi grabs his face in distress, thinking, "Wait!! I know that eating herbivore meat is clearly a bad thing...!! But can I really call it 'evil'? It's not like carnivores wanted to be born as carnivores (myself included) and besides, it's not like I have the right to label it as 'evil'..."

an imaginary, possibly younger Legosi nudges real Legosi with his elbow, incredulously asking, "This is what 'growing up' means to you?"

end ID]

here we see the carnivore perspective on Yahya's vigilante justice, before we even know the full extent of that "justice". and already Legosi is questioning his black/white thinking on the Meat Market, as he sees the Meat Market residents acting like a normal community, worrying and helping one another

and then when he sees Yahya's "garden" for the graveyard it truly is, he can only think of the Meat Market's warnings

[image ID: Beastars ch 117. Legosi looks up in horror and disbelief at a smugly-smiling Yahya, as the graffiti he saw earlier haunts his thoughts, "Black devil; must be killed and eaten; Monster." end ID]

this is a genuinely haunting page to me. when I pictured this scene animated, I imagined the whispers of this graffiti hissing in Legosi's mind, warning him as he looks back on a face he had respected only moments ago

... but Legosi doesn't even SEE this graffiti in the anime, or the better side of the Meat Market, and it's like! damn ok, guess we're never getting that back!

3) Minor Cut/Changed Scenes

these bits aren't as narratively-relevant as other cut scenes mentioned earlier, but I still mourn them :(

like Louis' "cutting retort!" as he takes down the carnivore that's harassing him at college

[image ID: Beastars ch 130

Louis thinks back on a past scene of the Shishigumi teaching him basic self-defense. Louis is holding Ibuki's tail from between his legs, while Ibuki explains, "Pull his tail in front of him, Boss. This would stop most carnivores from moving. And then..."

the scene transitions back to the present, where Louis is kicking a lion college student to the ground, as Ibuki's past advice continues in Louis' mind, "... kick his chest with all your weight. And finally..." Louis slams his foot down on the lion's chest as Ibuki's advice continues, "... Give him a cutting retort!!"

Louis pulls up his pant leg with a fierce look on his face, revealing his prosthetic leg, "Does a disabled deer really look so appetizing to you?" the lion is stunned, unable to respond as Louis walks away, sneering, "Go to the Back-Alley Market, suck on a bone, and shut your trap."

end ID]

or Gosha and Yahya riding on the same motorcycle instead of separate ones (though I do appreciate the extra layer of societal commentary in the anime, when Gosha is denied a medal and recognition)

[image ID: Beastars ch 103. Gosha is riding behind Yahya on a motorcycle, speeding off somewhere. end ID]

or Louis missing Ibuki so much that he thinks he sees Ibuki when he meets up with the Shishigumi again

[image ID: Beastars ch 130. Louis sees some lions in suits from behind, walking into an alley in the distance. one of them is wearing glasses, and Louis looks desperate and vulnerable as he thinks, "Why...?!! Huh?! You're... Alive?! It can't be... Hey..." end ID]

or Leano's "masking" as a child

[image ID: Beastars ch 133.

young Leano is cutely posing in front of her middle school classmates, all of them smiling at her cheerful atmosphere. she narrates, "The lovable and pure-blooded grey wolf. I studied canine behavior and used it to be as lovable as I could."

Leano sits quietly at her desk, watching other canines comfortably chatting in the distance as she thinks, "The typical canine is sociable, affable, earnest, and a bit clumsy. And not to mention talkative, cheerful, and open-hearted."

Leano leans her head into her hands with a troubled look, thinking, "My reserved nature and poker face must be part of my reptilian traits. I must hide this side of me."

end ID]

or Gosha and Yahya's fateful reunion (which, actually, this scene is p important-- they still have history to work through in the anime, you can't just skip over that!)

[image ID: Beastars ch 112

Yahya gives Gosha a baffled look as Gosha rubs Yahya's hand with a cloth. Yahya asks, "Are you disinfecting the poison on my fist?"

Gosha, nose still bleeding from Yahya's earlier punch, replies, "What do you mean? I'm pretty sure that punch touched my poison. All right, done disinfecting."

Yahya yanks his hand away, indignantly yelling, "Stop it!! Don't go acting like a family animal with me!!"

Gosha sternly replies, "Come on, you're a Beastar! You need a good fist!"

end ID]

or this little joke

[image ID: Beastars ch 114. Louis pulls packaged food out of a shopping bag, presenting them to Legosi as he asks, "Which one of these three are you going to eat?" with castella in one hand and fruit jelly in the other, Louis is implying that he himself is the third food option. Legosi spits out his drink in shock. end ID]

Louis was funny as hell for that one^ asgdjfkg

but ultimately, they're a small price to pay for an overall better, more coherent story. I salute your sacrifice, "eat me" joke, you'll be dearly missed 🫡😭

4) Louis' Graduation Cap

[image ID: Beastars s3 ep 2. a side view of Louis' head. he's wearing a black graduation cap, but his antlers are inexplicably sticking straight out of the top without any visible holes or any reasonable way to fit through the cap. end ID]

how did Louis put this cap on around his antlers?? funny as hell

graduating students don't even wear these caps in the manga, and I'm p sure Japanese HS students don't wear them irl... not sure why this was added

5) Louis' Break-In

Louis' "break-in" to find Yahya is honestly hysterical-- that slapstick special needs a Benny Hill backing track, not the intense music it gets 🤣

[zeawesomebirdie]

Can I ask about Operation: Sleep? The title intrigues me!

[for this ask game here]

Omg thanks for the ask, this is a very fun one!!

I have an AU in which Len and Barry are both insomniacs and agree to spend the nights they can't sleep together. It started out as a little one shot, which I only wrote down because I thought it was cute enough to warrant being on Ao3 after using that little bit of a plot bunny to entertain myself when I couldn't sleep, and then I rapidly lost control of the plot and ended up with two more little one shots, and decided it was time to put together a longfic to give these one shots context 😌 [btw, those one shots can be found here on Ao3, or here if you want to read them in chronological order rather than the order they were posted in!]

Operation: Sleep is the longfic!

I'm still zero drafting it, and I actually need to rewatch season one of the Flash because my memory is a sieve and this is an AU that's a continuation of season one rather than a rewrite of season two (though. That might change when I inevitably get around to season two, lol). Mostly though it takes place after the Singularity, and it's an AU where Eddie and Ronnie survived, and Eobard is still gone.

The basic plot is as follows: Len catches Barry wandering around the neighborhood by Saints&Sinners in the early hours of the morning far too frequently to be explained away as a coincidence, and makes it his mission to figure out wtf Barry is doing. One night, Captain Cold has to step in to save the Flash, and when Len takes Barry back to STAR Labs, they get locked in the lounge for the night due to Cisco's latest anti-Cold tech, which can only be disengaged by Cisco or Caitlin from the Cortex, but it is 2am, Barry was out without Team Flash's knowledge, and they're stuck here for the night. They end up bonding over having insomnia, and after that night, Len makes it a point to try to get Barry to actually sleep, or at least come inside and not wander the streets when he can't sleep

One thing leads to another, and they end up in a dynamic that's kinda romantic-adjacent, but neither of them would actually use those words to describe it. They kiss, there is def sex happening, but both of them refuse to acknowledge their feelings for each other, and it actually works out just fine like that, up until other people find out. The moment everyone else finds out, it all blows up and becomes one of those miscommunication plotlines where each thinks the other isn't actually interested, and that this will ruin everything (spoiler: it doesn't, they do manage to work it out!)

The whole fic is born from a place of, I couldn't sleep and am making that everyone else's problem ^.^

[watermelons-dont-grow-on-trees]

How has your WIP and/or OCs changed since its/their creation? What's something you wished you could keep but just wouldn't work? What's stayed consistent throughout all drafts of this WIP/OC?

I had a fairly great follow through of my original idea with Force of Nature, it was supposed to be 5+1 chapters long, chapter titles and plot points following along the 5 stages of grief + a goodbye, and I am rewriting the first two chapters because I found some lore inconsistencies in it, it didn't change much. Everything else that I wrote was written after I finished that, so all of the changes are the additional chapters and the prequel. I went much deeper into the lore and background stories of the characters than I originally planned with these things that got added on and these created the plot holes I'm working on fixing right now.

Julius' look changed since the first version of him that I had in mind, he was supposed to have light, curly hair, but that somehow turned into dark and wavy in my brain so there's that. He was also written to be much skinnier than I think of him now.

I have another story that is the polar opposite of this, it went through at least 5 rewrites from scratch, I have combined characters into new ones, I have taken out from it and added new ones, it switched genres (!) multiple times (it started as a slasher, then it turned into something supernatural) and then back to something more realistic and then I discovered whump so it became that and I'm writing the 3rd explicitly whumpy version of it. It has no title currently. It's a mess, but also my comfort story of the past 7 (?) years and go-to daydream setting.

The other stories I write/have written are short enough that I can say I can execute the ideas I have for them pretty well.

[londonhalcyon]

Living Girl/Dead Girl: Part 1

Before The Mad Witch, I spent about three or four years working on a Murdered: Soul Suspect post-canon longfic called A Certain Darkness. I wrote about 200k words before irreparable issues with the plot forced me to abandon the whole thing. Not without a fight—I attempted a rewrite in 2019 (the same year I started TMW), but there was no resurrecting this ghost. I'll probably recycle parts of the story later for other projects.

While the plot was offensively bad (teenage me was incapable of nuance), the fic's main redeeming quality was its two protagonists: canon medium Joy Foster and OC ghost Angel Hillyer. Their relationship developed in ways I (who was convinced I was straight) never expected, leading me to abandon the comphet subplot in favor of...whatever these two are. Whether I recycle this fic or not, these girls will always hold a very special place in my heart.

So here's some salvaged, chronologically-ordered snippets of these fifteen-year-old disasters that my "straight" teenage self wrote. For context, Joy is a medium with an unfortunate case of paranormal magnetism. Angel is a new ghost recently accused of murder.

Part 1 of 3 because I love them. (Part 2, Part 3).

* * * *

1.

"It's about time you woke up. I was beginning to think you were—" Joy broke off with a blush. "Heh, never mind. Stupid thought."

The events of the day before crashed to the forefront of Angel's mind. Her non-functioning heart skipped a beat. "Oh, Joy, I'm so sorry. I owe you big time. I can't believe I asked you to break into my house."

"Hey, I went along with it, didn't I? What's done is done. Don't worry, I expect full payment."

"I'm starting to doubt what I got myself into."

"You're just starting now?

Angel grinned. "No, definitely not."

Joy looked taken aback.

"What?"

She rubbed the back of her neck. "I, uh…well, that's the first time you've smiled like that. I mean, your teeth…" She shifted awkwardly, but her eyes narrowed in suspicion. "You look different."

2.

Angel wrapped her arms around her legs and rested her head on them. "I had a rough night," she said tiredly. 

"And whose fault is that?" Joy said with an edge to her tone. "What you did was stupid. It's a miracle you weren't eaten."

"I know," Angel sighed. 

Joy seemed uncertain what to say next, so she simply ended with, "Well, then..."

Angel gave a small laugh. "Joy Foster, were you actually worried about me?"

Joy stared straight ahead, her scowl returning. "No. You irritate me too much for that to happen."

"How so?" Angel asked curiously. 

"What?"

"How do I irritate you? If it's something I'm doing unintentionally, then I—"

"No, it's not that. You...I just...I mean..." Joy faltered. "It's nothing you can change. Don't take it personally."

"Okay...?"

"And you're not that irritating."

"Alright then." 

Joy turned her head away, but not before Angel caught a glimpse of a blush.

3.

Joy grinned. "It was so much easier when I could just ignore you."

"So you admit I do exist?" Angel teased. When Joy's smile faltered, Angel realized she had said the wrong thing. "No, I didn't mean...it was supposed to be...I was—"

"Relax," Joy said, rolling her eyes. "I'm not fragile."

"I know that. I was afraid you didn't realize that I might be," Angel joked. It was a poor attempt at amendment, but she didn't know what else to say. She really didn't want to start another argument. 

It was apparently good enough. Joy rolled her eyes again, but a hint of a smirk touched her lips. 

4.

The next day, Joy came home from school complaining about having been harassed by ghosts. After going on a rant of decent length about how one ghost had followed her around all day no matter what she did to ditch him, which had thus attracted the attention of a whole pack of them, she then accused Angel of not doing her job as a bodyguard. Angel tactfully replied that she had been awaiting orders and then politely pointed out that her presence would probably draw the attention of more ghosts and that she had no clue how to make them go away. Joy responded with, Screw it. Just come with me tomorrow. Angel figured this was her way of saying there were no hard feelings between them.

5.

"I have a question," Jacob said. "Are mood swings common in..." He paused, his eyes flicking to the people in the crowded hallway. "Cats?"

"Cats," Joy repeated flatly. 

"Yeah, cats. Let's go with cats."

She didn't know if this was funny or ridiculous. "It depends on the...cat. But some have more control. Problem?"  

"No problem." He stayed focused on the signup sheet, though the pen was still. "I was just curious about your cat."

She narrowed her eyes. "What did you do?"

"Nothing," he said quickly. "I...nothing."

She maintained her suspicious glare. "Angel's special."

"In a good or bad way?" he asked. Joy simply shrugged.

6.

"I'm sorry, Joy. I messed up. I was supposed to keep the ghosts away, but all I've managed to do is attract more. You said I make your life hell, and you were right. I...I'm so sorry." Angel struggled to swallow.

Joy's righteous anger quickly deflated to her usual aura of irritation. "Don't. Don't you..." Her growl transitioned into a sigh. "You don't make my life hell. You shake it up, maybe turn it upside down every other day, but you don't make it hell. It was hell way before you came crashing in." She gave a wry smile. Her tone was joking, but Angel didn't believe it. 

"Are you really that miserable?"

For a few seconds, Joy looked caught off guard. She shrugged. "Maybe."

Angel sniffed, feeling only despair. 

Joy glared at her. "Don't cry. Don't you dare cry." 

Lifting her glasses, Angel attempted to brush the tears away. "I'm sorry."

"And don't apologize." Joy rolled her eyes. "God, Ange."

Angel steadied a fraction. "What?"

"I said don't apologize. It's getting old."

"No, what did you call me?"

"Angel. I said Angel, right?"

"Never mind."

The living girl leaned against the wall beside her. Joy tilted her head so that it was half resting on the wall, her quiet breathing the only sound to fill the room. Angel didn't know how long it was before she spoke again.

"Please," she murmured to Angel's shoulder, sounding strangely young.

7.

Jacob straightened. "Okay. What's wrong?"

Joy glanced around, but she couldn't see or feel any sign of the ghost. Hopefully that meant she was out of earshot. Hopefully, hopefully, hopefully. "It's Angel. Something happened."

"Is she alright?"

"Yes. Well, no. I mean, she's fine, uh, physically. It's complicated." 

"Tell me."

She did her best to explain the ghost's mood swings. "She's had lows before, but never like this. Not for this long. She's miserable, she's driving me insane, and I don't know if she's going to turn into a demon—" Joy realized she was gesturing with increasing intensity and shoved her hands in her pockets. 

Jacob scrambled off the table. "What? That can happen?"

She spread her palms, instantly failing to keep her hands still. "I don't know," she said, perhaps a little more sharply than was necessary. "I've never dealt with this before!"

8.

The conversation faded to a lulling rumble. The sun felt so good. It made Joy feel like she could fall asleep. She was so tired. 

Laughter wove into her fuzzy state. Angel's laughter. The laughter of a ghost who hated the dark. 

I'm not scared of you. 

What makes me so different from the things out there?

I don't know. You just are. 

You just are. You just are.

[witch-hazels-musings]

hi! i saw that you wrote a novel (that might be getting published?) and i'm really curious to know what pushed you to start, how was the progress, and do you have an editor + are you self-publishing or are you with a publishing company! writing a novel is a dream of mine but it feel so far-fetched. it's inspiring to see that you've written one, and i would like to know how i might do the same too, if you don't mind sharing! -- @milkstore

hello fellow author <3 im so excited to hear about your dream! there are countless stories out there, but no one can write yours :)

as for what made me start - it was you all. the constant support, love and encouragement, and providing me inspiration and opportunities to practice with characters I love in a world that's fantastical.

my main character was inspired by a genshin OC that I had (Fai) and blossomed into who she is now!

my process was pretty simple really. I started with a general plot. identified what I wanted to happen in the story and the beats (points) i wanted to hit along the way, then I flushed out the two main characters and started writing their story.

after getting draft 0 i realized the plot (especially in the middle) wasn't working. in fact, it suuuucked. so I did some edits, a lot of cutting and rewriting and then I got a beta reader - they liked it, but I didn't - enter my work on draft 3. Now my story has substance, it has way more engagement and a lot better characters.

My next steps will be to read it out loud for another round of edits and - as I go - really ensure my character motivations are in there, the plot (where the whole story ends up) has build-up, and that I'm not going to set myself up for continuity errors. Once that is done I have two options

I can send it off to an editor I found and like, have them look it over and give me feedback - make changes - and then start querying for agents

I found a potential publisher that works with indie authors GreenLeaf Book Group. They might help me with editing, story, and other things if they like what i have - so i can skip some of the steps myself! - They seem very promising and actually may be a good place to start right out of the gate, but I've always been told to never give a publisher nothing (well, unless you're already working with them lol)

From here, the end goal is traditional publishing but i have a few barriers to that. 1. my book is too long, 2. it may not be as engaging as they may like, 2. it's a duology (publishers don't often pick up debut authors that pitch more than one book to them (i.e. they want a standalone before investing their time and money into the book)

Of course, I'll keep you all updated as I go -- you can also follow me on Instagram! I post updates there and information about my book :) --- you can find it via my Author Cardd

I won't gatekeep or tell you this process was easy. It wasn't - but it was rewarding, perfect, and brought me closer to my dream. To be able to look back and tell my younger self we wrote a book is everything to me - her stories deserve to live, as do yours <3

I'm rooting for you.

You got this

OH AND join writing groups! I am now the moderator of one - The Writers Factory. I give lots of advice there and feedback on peoples stories when I can. I also post some writing exercises and other stuff (its not a social discord though - the mods are very strict lol - its for working on your book/story/ect. -- so feel free to join us if this is something you want!)

[authorjoeypaul]

UNCOVERING THE STORY

As someone who has written a lot of first drafts, and someone who's also come back to those first drafts and had to change and rewrite a lot, I thought that today I would talk a little about what goes into discovering the underlying story during revisions and editing. Now I want to be clear that I do not think that you're not already aware of what story you've told. You go into drafting (as either a planner or not) knowing what story you want to tell, but sometimes that is not the only thing that ends up on the page.

For example, I went into writing the first Lights Out book with a completely different story in mind. I don't mean everything was wildly different, but I do mean that it was only going to be a standalone at the start. It wasn't until later, having written about two thirds of it, that I became aware of a deeper story buried underneath, and from that the trilogy was born.

The same can happen when you come back to revise or edit after having had some time away from your project. You're looking at it with fresh eyes and you're realising that there are maybe themes you didn't see before, or there's a subplot that you hadn't realised was there, and you can start to see the broader strokes, and also the tiny ones beneath the surface that might have passed you by while you were drafting.

It took me a long time of being a writer to be able to pick up on those finer points. While I was very aware of the plot, or the subplots and also of what story I was telling, sometimes there would be hints of something more, and then you have to make that conscious decision whether to lean into it more. One of my past editors was very good at letting me know when I'd hit a theme or a subplot that might work for the book overall and how to bring it all to the surface.

Not seeing themes doesn't mean you don't know your own work. Sometimes they are easy to see, sometimes they aren't, and other times, because you wrote the book, those themes won't have the same meaning to you as they might to a reader down the line.

So how do you go about doing it?

#1 SEARCH FOR COMMON THEMES

By this I mean things like tropes that might be subverted, or things like when a character is going through something that broadens their scope. For example in Lights Out, Lock is sure of one thing at the start, but as she grows and changes, as I uncovered more of her story, more of her sense of self, I realised that there was a theme of her standing up for what was right, no matter the consequences to her.

With Jessie, in Cramping Chronicles, there's a lot of talk about how she's not anything more than a teenager with an ability that puts her in the spotlight a lot. She has so many thoughts and feelings about what she's doing and how she does it, that she loses sight almost of all the good she does, because everything is wrapped up in pain for her.

So when it comes to your own story, search for those common themes, whether they be tropes that sound and seem like they're going to go one way, and actually go another, and lean into them. Whether that's making a character's voice stronger, or whether that's making different choices for them, it's completely up to you.

#2 CHARACTERS MATTER

I've been told over the years that my belief that my characters have more control over where my story goes than I do, is silly because they're not real. I agree they're not real, but that doesn't mean they're not shaped into a being and because of that, because of the time you spend writing them, you start to see that they, as a person, as a well formed character, would make completely different choices maybe than the ones you planned for them to make.

For me, I've been very big on making sure my characters are as fully fleshed out as possible. The story is about them. It's about what they're going through and how they react to any given thing. So for me it matters greatly if a character is telling me they wouldn't do this thing, because that means I've done my job well.

So keep in mind how any given character would react, and if you can, let them lead you through the story and out the other side. You might find that you learn something new, and your work can be all the better for it.

So there we go, two tips to get you started. As always, good luck, and if you have any questions, lemme know in the comments!

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[floraracoon]

Gems of Dupont - Rewrite

Since it's been bothering me these past few days, this is a list of how I would rewrite a fic I wrote last year, called The Gems of Dupont on Ao3 if I were to do so.

Spoiler Warning if you want to read the fic then read this

Premise: There is a group of students who while anonymous, are known to have a lot of power. Namely, they have a history of getting rid of unsavory figures in the school or associated with it. Their current targets are Marinette (stalking, minor abuse of power, and her actions towards her 'rivals'), Adrien (bystander, actions as Chat Noir towards Ladybug, etc.), Lila (obvious), Alya (misinformation, slander, and something else), Mme. Bustier (bystander, emotional manipulation, poor teaching methods), Mr. Damocles (fraud, neglect, etc.), and Fu (facing the consequences of his own actions)

Problems: A scene that I did not flesh out enough to show the reasoning behind it, too many characters involved in the takedown, illogical plot points, involving characters that make no sense, and moving too fast due to me losing interest but not wanting to go on hiatus or abandoning the work.

The Rewrite:

Establishing the Gems -

The sign of the Gems (a wreath of gems on Mme. Mendelieve's door) is shown, causing rumors to spread through the school

Adrien, Alya, and Lila ask what they are, giving them the full explanation

The Gems are a group of six that every year go through and gather evidence of people's wrongdoings, before giving them to those that would cause the most change. This most of the time results in someone leaving the school. When they are done, gems are left where the person sits. Each gem represents something, and while there are six Gems, there are more gems.

Chloe scoffs out loud while Lila internally scoffs. Chloe thinks she is immune, as she has never been hit before. Lila scoffs because she thinks she hasn't been caught, to begin with.

Cut to a group chat, where two people are arguing over the nicknames they have in the chat. "Eye candy" seems particularly frustrated and claims they bring something more to the team than their good looks.

Safety Measures -

We see a week pass, with people becoming more and more anxious waiting for something to happen. Some sign that this wasn't a fluke. The first week is always when it is that they send out the warnings, where are the warnings?

But one day, as Nino walks in, having not arrived with Alya due to her running off to record an akuma fight, he finds a note sitting on his desk. The note contains a list of numbers and timestamps. A small doodle of a gem sitting in the corner.

On another day, Rose finds a small slip of paper that has Prince Ali's phone number on it, also with a small doodle of a gem in the corner

Luka opens a note left on his bed. He finds the chords for a song, with no lyrics. Each page has small annotations of cherry blossoms in places where lyrics would be, and a doodle of a gem in the bottom corner.

Kagami is surprised when a note falls out of her locker, with a message in brail saying "He hesitates, where is his backbone?". A gem is engraved on the page

The first -

Alya is the first to go down. After a fight between her and Nino that results in their break up, she learns that her parents got a similar note to the one that started the fight.

The numbers and timestamps were coded for different videos on the Ladyblog. The one for Nino was instances where Alya endangered him and those around him. The fight was about her recklessness, and her want to get up close to akuma fights with little regard for her safety.

The one her parents got, however, was every single time she had endangered herself.

The two of them were busy with work often, so they only really watched the videos Alya sent them. Often those were the ones where she stayed safe for the most part or had a lot of views.

So they opened her blog, to investigate what these timestamps were, only to find their daughter once again throwing herself into situations she shouldn't have. Along with countless posts trying to figure out the identities of people who were trying to protect the city and a single post that had them questioning her integrity.

The next day, Alya was pulled into distanced learning. She was also grounded until further notice, with no blog posting for one day per timestamp listed.

Will continue this post tomorrow, as this is getting really long

[orchidyoonkook]

Do you have any tips for new writers/accounts to get popular???

Hello!!!!!

SO:

I was a shit writer for a very long time cuz I never wrote. But one day I wanted to change that so at 19 I made up a story and wrote down all my plot points and then did a DEEP DIVE on Pinterest of all things collecting every bit of advice I could. I’m talking ideas, how to do this, how to not use the word said, how to start sentences. How sentences should flow and their lengths, big uncommon words. EVERYTHING.

Anything and everything I could get my hands on. 

And on top of that I’ve been a reader for forever. I have so many books I don’t even know how many I have. And so I use that knowledge when editing. I don’t read it from a writing POV after I write it. I turn into a reader and think about how I would feel about it from a readers POV and if something doesn’t work. I fix it.

I have a small background in script writing from my college days which definitely helped a bit. But if you’ve ever studied script writing you know it doesn’t really help creative writing outside of structure.

And when I write I’m someone who writes until I think the story is done. Not the arc. Not the characters. But the overall story of what I’m trying to portray. I don’t actively think about putting the climax of the story here or some foreshadowing there. I write intuitively if that makes sense. I try to sense out what feels right. And some of that comes naturally, some of it doesn’t and I have to work on it.

Me and @violetsiren90 were actually talking roughly about this last night. Our differences in how we write and how my advice from her last fic that I edited had already helped her with her new one cuz she can now see all of the little things that I pick up on from my style of writing versus the times where she tells me why she writes in that specific way and why she will be keeping it as is. Vi if you wanna add anything in the comments I’m forgetting, by all means feel free.

Most writers will tell you to practice. To tell you to write something even if it’s just a sentence everyday. But that didn’t help me. The stuff on my blog are the very first things I’ve written for myself ever. I didn’t write in highschool or college outside of what I was forced to write and my one story that the Pinterest board was initially for.

For me it was about researching style and reading posts like these from other writers, being confident in your style and learning what rules to break and when to break them. It was about reading over your work a hundred times and to be impartial when you read so you can fix the mistakes that won’t work.

The benefit of writing is you can go over something you’ve written a hundred times until you think it’s ready. A thousand times. I can go back and rewrite that first story if I want too. Nothing can stop me.

But don’t get me wrong. I go back and read all my works on here from time to time and I still constantly find things I would change now. Word changes. Phrasing changes. Everything. But that’s just another sign of improvement. Writing is a constantly improving art form. There is no limit. Only growth.

And the last thing I do is write down everything. I have a TERRIBLE memory. So I write down every single idea. On a scrap piece of paper. In my phone. On a computer. In a notebook. Cuz you never know when you’ll use it.

My most recent story, The Devil Wears Valentino, I got the idea for that name sometime in the immediate aftermath of Valentino Yoongi. I was in the shower after watching the devil wears Prada and my mind just connected the two. And then it sat unused in my notes all until the week before Halloween 2023. I would’ve forgotten had I not written it down. But there it was right when I needed it, a gift from past me. And here we are.

As for popularity, dude I have no goddamn idea. I don’t even think I count as a popular/big blog. I utilize the HELL out of aesthetics, formatting and tags and I’m nice. That’s my spiel on that. Aesthetic. Format. Tag. Kindness. Talent, sure. I guess. But writing is one of those things, ESPECIALLY in fic, where it doesn’t have to be the best cuz folks just wanna read their comfort character or person in the same scenarios over and over again. Source: I do that. And I’ve read stories that don’t have the best writing. But the story was good, or vice versa. People are way more forgiving on here.

I didn’t come on here(tumblr) with the intention of writing let alone giving writing and popularity advice. I just wanted to read and support people and then the community I’ve built for myself has just grown and grown and I’ve been so incredibly fortunate, which is where kindness comes in.

Leave reviews and like and reblog stuff. Tell people how much you love their work. Let them know you write too. Create friendships with people who wanna support you. And people who you wanna support. Community is the base of everything.

[collegeboysam]

i hope me asking doesn't come off as rude, but do you ever plan to come back to your "you may bury my body" fic?

again im not sure the correct "protocol" ?? for asking things like this but im just curious ^_^

😭😭😭 this is NOT rude at all, if anything is the sweetest and most polite way of asking so don't worry about it <3

Honestly thank you for taking enough interest in the fic to ask about an update! I know it varies from author to author of course, but I personally don't mind being asked at all 🥰

To answer your questions: YES, ABSOLUTELY! I think "you may bury my body" is in the top 3 of my favorite fics I have written. I have so much fun when I'm going over the drafted scenes, researching for them and then completely writing/completing the chaptrs! I'll never leave YMBMB incomplete, I'm committed to finishing it.

I'm hoping and have all my fingers crossed that I'll post the next part this month.

Why I havent updated it yet is a longer story and will yap about it under the cut if you want to know <3

Basically, how YMBMB is written is a little messy? I came up with an entire timeline, then started drafting the chapters by writing the main events/scenes for each one of them and leaving keypoints of secondary scenes as bulletpoints I'd to fill up/complete in the future.

You could say the fic is kind of written from start to end, but only the main scenes between Aemond and Lucerys, so all the "bones and organs" of the body of the story are in place, but all the muscles and skin (the details and seconday scenes) are missing. That's what I have to work on for each update.

So each chapter is written around a 50%-ish I'd say? From start to end.

What I do for each chapter update is: I go over the draft I have already written, then write the missing scenes I initially left as bulletpoints. Many times I make the main scenes I previously wrote longer by adding more details (details of location descriptions, make action sequences and more elaborate or conversations between the main characters longer). Then I re-read the chapter a couple times for misakes (since english is my second language I try to be extra particular about this) and then I post it.

Now, for chapter 6 I kind of backed myself into a corner 😭😭

As I started working on it I realized I wasn't sold in the main scene of the chapter, it didn't feel all that cohesive, so I deleted it and wrote it again from scratch. I kept working on the chapter and as I checked on the rest of the draft I realized by changing the scene I had previosly written I deleted an important plot point that would become very relevant later. It even msessed with the end of the fic.

So I had to go back a second time and re-write the main scene again. I liked the new version better but I needed to reincorporate some points I had deleted (because I forgot how important they were for future chapters lol).

Trying to keep the new version with some of the old version's necessary points in it fucking killed me lol. It took me months to get it right since my workload and day-to-day life didn't give me time to write as much at the end of 2024 . And when I had time I kept adding and deleting, and then adding and deleting some more, until it finally felt right again. The adhd didn't help but that's another issue entirely lmao.

I know I'm being too particular about a fic when is just for fun but asfsdfsf I love writing it so much that I became very passionate about wanting it to come out just as I imagined it.

Thankfully the past few months have not been as hectic and chaotic, which gave me time to work on the fic properly again and not by chunks every other night after work. This is why I could also update the Halloween fic.

Anyhow, I'm much MUCH more pleased with how chapter 6 looks at the moment, I'm still adding details and scenes to it, but the main structure and plotlines of the fic are once again connected and untangled and I feel pretty happy with the result of the rewrite AT LAST 🥰🥰

My goal is to post the update this month, and I'll try my damn hardest to make it so AND to not let so much time go by in between updates for the rest of the story.

Sorry I used part of your ask to bent about the problems I created for myself adnflskfnlkfn prisoner in a cage of my own making tbh. But that's also part of the fun of fic writing I guess lol

When the update comes, I hope you enjoy it <3 Let me know what you think of it when you can 🥰

Thank you again for taking an interest in the story and for coming to ask about it, you're very lovely!