#I’M SORRY IM SO EMOTIONAL
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i finally watched the concert. 😭💖💖💖
How cringe can I sound if I get sentimental over a squid and octopus game? 😭💖 I don't care who wins, whoever it is. Watching the concert I came to realize I really love all three groups and each one has an intense value to me. The Squid Sisters were the first, and in this year that closed Splatoon 1 online I would be so proud if they won with Team Past as a reminder of where we came from. Marina and Pearl with Team Present, they broke the species barrier, they represent love between everyone regardless of our appearances and they were magnificent in the DLC. If Present wins, I feel like love would win. If Team Future wins with Deep Cut, I'm happy for the long road we've come. They are the queens and king of partying and festivals with Anarchy Rainbow, and festivals are important as Splatoon's identity.
I can't believe an ink-shooting game makes me so emotional. Splatoon is pretty lovely, don't you think? Even with the drama and toxic rivalry that some have, I hope there are a good number who think like this… ah, it's not just winning, but being here. 😭💖💖💖💖
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Shoutout to the self shippers whose f/os have helped them through their hardest times and made them feel like life is worth it.
Shoutout to the self shippers who need self shipping to get through rough days because it’s their way of coping.
Shoutout to the self shippers who turn to their f/os for comfort when they’re upset and need someone to hold onto.
Shoutout to the self shippers who feel stuck in depression but find their f/os to be their main source of happiness.
Shoutout to the self shippers who care so much about their self ships that it feels overwhelming sometimes.
Shoutout to the self shippers who can’t imagine their life without self shipping because it’s such an important part of who they are.
#selfship#f/o community#self ship#self ship community#selfship community#yume community#self ship positivity#selfship vent#selfship positivity#selfshipping#self shipping#seriously im so glad you guys found your f/os#and I’m glad I found mine#sorry for getting emotional on you guys
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Literally less then a second clip of her. But she looks soooo hot !!!
#patti lupone#wlw#i’m so gay#I’m tired & emotional & can’t deal with how hot she is#i’m so gay im so sorry#my need for attention and validation is crazy right now
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fiona gallagher // "i bet on losing dogs" by mistki
#fiona gallagher#shameless#fiona and her kids#fiona and monica#parentification#fiona gallagher’s childhood#parentified child#ami weaves a web#another sad fiona edit sorry!!!! SORRY#except not sorry. not really. lol#i have had this rattling around my head for days just needed to put it out there#mistki#mitski lyrics#making myself sad with this one folks!#also oh my god this was so hard to color match sorry if the editing looks shitty#EVERYTHING FROM SEASONS 1-3 ARE BRIGHT YELLOW AND EVERYTHING ONWARDS IS TWILIGHT BLUE KICKING AND SCREAMING#WHYYYYY#anyways!#particularly emotional about this fi and debbie scene oh goddd the way she’s cupping her cheek just makes me want to cry#GOD I JUST ..#TELL YOUR BABY THAT IM YOUR BABY !!!!!!!!!#i bet on losing dogs is just SO fiona gallagher coded#but also?? ELDEST DAUGHTER CODED IN GENERAL#GODDDDD#i always want you when i’m finally fine too#for a while i’m just. this is okay. everything is fine. and then BAM#I WANT TO BE MY PARENTS CHILD AGAIN PLEASEEEEE PLEASE PLEASE LEKALSLLLSLSLSLKDDK LET ME BE YOUR BABY !!!!!!!#PLEEASASSEREEEEEEEE#SOBBING AND CRYINF
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if he were only ever used to being angry he would have yelled at buck back instead of expressing that “it’s not nothin’,” and letting the outburst go because he understood where they were both at in that moment. fanon eddie is literally rotting brains every day
#okay im done with this#u guys want him to tremble and shake and cry so bad i’m SORRY that that’s buck and not eddie . u don’t need to be like that to#emotionally intelligent. which eddie is. and he can be emotionally intelligent while also repressing very particular emotions and issues of#his own . it’s NOT THAT HARD#911 spoilers
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hot take i guess but when i watch the scene with billy and agatha where she finds out for sure he’s billy maximoff and starts tearing up, i perceive it as being bc she’s still a bit (read: significantly) heartbroken that he isn’t nicky. he isn’t hers. sure, she might’ve known from the beginning to some degree that he was wanda’s, but she doesn’t know for sure. we see that every time she panics because he’s hurt. we see that in the way she refused to leave his side when he was asleep. we see that when rio herself has to shake agatha out of it, saying, “agatha… that boy isn’t yours.” like YES logically i think she knew he wasn’t nicky, that he couldn’t be but we CAN see how painfully, hopelessly desperate agatha is to think that maybe he could be. so in my mind, she sees billy maximoff standing in front of her, finally being met with indisputable proof that he could not possibly be her lost son. how could she not tear up at that?
#idk#i’ve just been seeing a lot of edits and posts ab this scene#where people are using it to be like Oh Wow look at how much she cares about billy! she really does love him!#and i just…#i don’t think that’s wrong necessarily and i do think on some level she prob does care for billy even as he truly is#but i do NOT think the truly cares that much about wanda’s children#and i also really can’t see her being an aunt figure to him at all#a mentor? friend maybe?? a kid she’s werurdly attached to bc he reminds her of the song she lost centuries ago?? probably#*weirdly *son UGH#but i don’t think she cares bc she’s like. reminicising on the time they spent together in westview yknow?#she literally called tommy toby like im sorry but she don’t give a fuck 😭#but also to be fair i do think a large part of the climax of this show and the point of it#is going to come down to agatha continuing to develop an emotional connection with him#and i do ultimately think their relationship will be so vital and pivotal to the plot and both of their arcs#i just unfortunately cannot seem to interpret it the way a lot of you are i’m sorry#agatha all along#agatha harkness#billy maximoff#william kaplan#wiccan#kathryn hahn#joe locke#nicholas scratch#wandavision#wanda maximoff#marvel cinematic universe#mcu#marvel mcu
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Beyblade X Episode 45: You, Back Then
MYBTKEVWOW ENEVWNW WKWVWBWWHWVWW
haha. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha CHROME RYUGU I’M GOING TO PAY TO PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE FOR THIS EPISODE LET ME AT HIM LET ME AT HIM YOU CHROME RYUGU YOU
if you haven’t watched the episode already PLEASE WATCH IT even if I explain it or summarize it it won’t have the same effect or impact on you if you don’t watch it yourself because holy crap that was one hell of a time for 22 minutes and 40 seconds I’m
alright, so we start off with Takumi versus Blader Z, except Blader Z isn’t wearing the mask and we see his actual identity. And interestingly enough, Blader Z is using Cobalt Drake, the exact same bey Chrome uses. Then Blader Z loses, and we cut to the intro
I wanna talk about the intro and the title for this episode for a second.
If you‘ve not skipped the intro or if you’ve heard it, or even listened to the entire song way too many times (like me), you’ll notice the lyrics fit a lot of the characters in the series. The song title alone explains it. Prove. These Bladers are trying to prove something to someone or themselves. Keep that in mind for later on. And I’ve noticed we’ve gotten a lot of characters memories or backstories in a row. I like how it starts from a team —> family —> you. It slowly narrows down into categories, and also explains what the characters think of their relationships with others. In episode 43 we’re seeing this from all three perspectives, a team. In episode 44 we see this from two perspectives, two sisters, a family. Then in this episode, we see it from Blader Z’s perspective alone. Which is why the title uses “you” and not him. Directed to Chrome.
ALSO ALSO keep in mind how they don’t reveal Blader Z’s name until much later on (unless I have poor hearing skills)
ANYWAYS

in a similar fashion to Robin from our first episode, Blader Z barges into Xenon City excitedly, impatient to battle in the Amateur Cup. Blader Z then goes on to defeat every amateur, and in the final match he says he’s going to be like “him” (while thinking about Chrome) and he wins. Everyone notices his talent, and Number Zero asks if he has anything to say.
Blader Z just smiles and says Chrome Ryugu rules, and that Chrome’s the ideal Blader, and then says he’s going to be just like Chrome. Soooo right away we establish this is an idol-fan kind of relation for now.
Then we get shown the battle we saw in the intro, and Blader Z gets defeated pretty badly. Back in his little apartment he says he doesn’t want to lose anymore and realizes he needs to work harder. We then cut to a timeskip later, where Number One talks about Blader Z’s numerous wins and takes notice of how he uses the same bey as Chrome.
AFTER ANOTHER WON MATCH, WE FINALLY GET TO SEE AN INTERACTION BETWEEN THE TWO. (After Number Zero says the prize, which was probably the meeting with Chrome, which is rather… strange, wouldn’t you say?)


Blader Z obviously looks very surprised and happy, because he wasn’t expecting this. Chrome said he saw Blader Z’s match against Takumi, and Blader Z acknowledges he became arrogant during that match, and Chrome says “one’s strength in Blading is the strength in one’s heart” and moves Blader Z’s hand to his heart. Recognize something? If you said the first time Jaxon and Chrome fought, you’re right! Jaxon grabbed Chrome’s hand in a similar direction and position, except he didn’t purposefully put it against Chrome’s heart.
also, I’d like to point out how one-sided this seems and a few other odd things. Remember how Chrome viewed Jaxon, after Jaxon said Chrome should have fun, blading with him? A similar light is shown here. Except, Chrome was drawn into that light himself. Here, only Blader Z is viewing Chrome that way. And to be fair, yeah, it makes sense, seeing how much Blader Z looks up to Chrome. But Chrome doesn’t seem to be very, well, he is obviously putting effort in the interaction. But his wording is strange.
he ends up giving Blader Z Obsidian Shell, which Blader Z pretty much treasures immediately, but I don’t like how Chrome said it when he gave it. He said, “you have the power to master this bey, and with it, climb your way to the top of the X. At least that’s what I feel you’re capable of doing.” Giving expectations already, huh? HUH CHROME? IM GOING TO SCREAM
anyways we end up learning Blader Z’s real name, and it’s Ciel Kaminari. Chrome says he’ll remember that name and gives him a handshake and everything is all fine and dandy, right? RIGHT?
Ciel is seen rejecting sponsors left and right, not going pro unless he goes on Team Pendragon. We then timeskip and there’s a little detail to notice. On one of the screens, it’s the frame where Team Persona won against Team Yggdrasil (I dunno if that was intentional or not but I’m clinging onto it for some sort of timeline). So Ciel is pretty late to the scene, but not too late: He’s been getting noticed but Team Persona was pretty focused on beating Yggdrasil so they may have not noticed themselves.
Then, we get a rematch! Takumi versus Ciel, coincidence or not? And WHADDYA KNOW? Ciel wins this time! And Takumi isn’t salty about this, and he even raises Ciel’s hand which I think is 😭 so sweet. Takumi, yay! I’m glad you don’t break people’s beys anymore!
(let us ignore the fact Chrome is watching this match and looking as if his entire world is ending!)

A WHILE LATER OR PROBABLY THE NEXT DAY CIEL ENDS UP BEING SCOUTED FOR TEAM PENDRAGON!!! Look how happy he looks GAHHH, he’s finally made it, made it onto the team his idol is on, happily holding the bey his idol gave him, just overjoyed.
if you want him to have a happy time you should stop the episode there by the way, because this next half was an emotional rollercoaster I was not prepared to even experience.
Before the next few moments even occurred, I thought a few things. What happened for Ciel to suddenly harbor hatred against Jaxon? Why is he Blader Z? Something obviously happened. I expected something surprising.
what I was not expecting, was to get slapped in the face with Ciel entering the room already full of everything Jaxon related, with Chrome, with the music cutting off from soft to uneasy, to Chrome Ryugu’s dead-inside eyes.
Ciel is obviously surprised, and Chrome simply… stares.


the complete opposite of their first interaction. The room is dark. Ciel doesn’t look so enthusiastic anymore, in fact, he looks nervous. His voice is flat as he speaks to Ciel, asking how his match went. Ciel GRABS onto the topic, for something familiar. He said he was glad the match was set up like that before stepping forward. Something that will appear a few minutes later. He just quickly glances at it, but Chrome’s voice interrupts him and he gives Chrome his attention instead. Chrome reveals he made the commission set it up.
Ciel is absolutely baffled, and we can hear Chrome rummaging for something. Lo and behold…

It’s the mask. The Z mask. And judging by the sounds, it seems as if Chrome had been holding onto it for a while, storing it away. You can HEAR Ciel getting increasingly more panicked and confused as he steps back and Chrome steps forward, and oh my god I’ve never wanted to PUNCH Chrome Ryugu more than I have now. He looked down, with a smile, with an EXPECTANT look as he held that mask. The absolute, the look, the look alone was horrifying??? I DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO DESCRIBE IT? Then Chrome says “But if you are who I think you are, I want you to live up to your expectations.”
Excuse me, who YOU think Ciel is? A fan who was really happy to receive a bey from you and lived by your words and aspired to be like you and made it onto your team? Or a fan who could be manipulated into becoming what YOU want him to become?
and here comes the part where Ciel realizes. He steps back, the noise similar to earlier when he stepped on something, and recognized the photos of Blader X, next to a photo of Jaxon Cross.

It doesn’t take a genius to put the pieces together, though I don’t know how he didn’t see the gigantic photo of Jaxon earlier (we saw it in the background when they met again), and Ciel knows Jaxon Cross is Blader X. Jaxon Cross, who left Pendragon, who wears a mask— a mask that Chrome is now presenting in front of him—
Chrome says he doesn’t need Ciel Kaminari and puts the damn thing on Ciel without a second thought. He wants Ciel to “lose” that identity and become Blader Z. He wants Ciel to fill in Jaxon’s shoes, and makes the most normal smile we’ve seen him make so far within this entire interaction. Like this is the only thing that brings him comfort. Something related to Jaxon. Then he hands Ciel Buster Dran, and his use of it makes sense now. That’s why Chrome told him not to indulge himself when he used Obsidian Shell facing Jaxon. He wanted Blader Z, not Ciel Kaminari.
What makes this worse is that even the episode itself kinda foreshadows this. Remember how they held off on revealing Ciel’s name this episode? It’s his lost identity. And it delays the reveal, like how the other episodes featuring Ciel delay in his face reveal. Heartbreaking. What, you thought this was the worst of it? No. Chrome tells him to become Blader X, traces the DAMN letter on Ciel’s mask, and says, “you can, right?”
His expectations. He sets them, AGAIN, like earlier, when he gave Ciel Obsidian Shell. The way he words it so carefully, like he knows Ciel would dread the thought of not doing something “easy” Chrome would expect him to do. Disappointment from the pro Blader you look up to? That would be a nightmare, right?
instead of realizing he needs to get the fuck out of there after throwing a right hook at Chrome and live FAR FAR away from Chrome and hopefully erase these memories, Ciel instead, tries to EMPATHIZE with Chrome. He tries to feel the emotion Chrome feels.

and he ends up crying. SO, if Ciel is right, Chrome isn’t feeling loneliness, anger, or sadness. It’s different, but more painful. Painful enough to make Ciel cry. And Ciel declares he’ll do anything for Chrome. Chrome says that’ll do, and Obsidian Shell falls on the ground, forgotten.
We cut to Ciel on the rooftop basically telling himself he’s Blader Z, remembering past events, wanting to do better. But what’s interesting is that he says he’ll SURPASS Blader X, not be him. So, Ciel isn’t fully complying. He wants to be better than Blader X, and earn Chrome’s approval.
Ciel oh my god you deserve so much better what the fuck Chrome this certainly cannot get wo—
another timeskip! Chrome’s talking to himself when Ciel enters. Ciel says it’s him, Blader Z, but Chrome doesn’t accept/hear that answer. It’s not what he wants to hear. But when Blader Z says Chrome’s name, Chrome just LAUGHS and says “you answered. You answered me, didn’t you!?”
Ciel takes a noticeable step forward and Chrome whips his head around like an owl, saying oh, Ciel is here. Ciel, judging by his stutter and momentary pause, thinks this is a test and says “I’m not Ciel, I’m Blader Z.”
what Chrome said next made me want to go through the screen and PUNCH, just PUNCH that face of his.
“Oh, yes, right. But, I’ve had enough now. Ciel, your role is now over.”
Chrome Ryugu, may Jaxon Cross never reunite with you, and may Ciel Kaminari take his mask off and throw it off at your stupid feet and tell you to your face you’re horrible and you’ll never understand Jaxon Cross or this X you’re chasing. May Jaxon Cross tell you he never wants to see your face again! You manipulated your fan from day 1 to momentarily replace and fulfill that emotion you had with Jaxon/Blader X, and basically tell him that he, as he is, is not good enough unless he’s Blader Z. And now, that you’ve had “enough,” the one thing that he knows that kept your attention on him, is thrown away, how the fuck do you think he’s gonna feel?


Ciel’s face speaks for itself as Chrome basically says how Chrome was a fool for thinking he could replace “that X”. Chrome clutches at his heart and says “The only certain X is right here within me. There’s no possible way anyone other than me could understand him.”
him. HIM. This X? Him? JAXON??? Don’t make me laugh. If Jaxon saw you right now I don’t think he’d like this. He was already somewhat worried by Chrome’s behavior change, how this Chrome isn’t like the Chrome he knew. But it turns out he didn’t know you well enough either because you’ve been slowly getting worse by the time. Actually, what’s even the timespan??? IT COULDN’T HAVE BEEN MORE THAN EVEN A YEAR, COULD IT??? Chrome’s mental state has declined faster than someone’s card out there. If it’s Jaxon, I’m going to scream. It reminds me of the ep from Zip and Zoom where Robin says no one knows Blader X (Jaxon) better than he does, no one in the entire world. I’m gonna scream.

Ciel has gotten dragged into this situation, and because of how he views Chrome, he directs the hatred to the wrong person, Jaxon. He asks out loud, “Jaxon Cross… did you know, about Chrome’s feelings? Did you even try to answer them at all? I’m the one who’s worthy of being on Team Pendragon! I’ll get you Jaxon Cross!”
I’m going to cry. Chrome and Jaxon have always been able to sense each other if one is thinking of the other, or seeing the other. Jaxon however, he doesn’t notice how Chrome is off, until he actually sees him in real life. That’s the only time when we hear him sound somewhat vulnerable, asking Multi (and probably Robin) to not get in the way of him and Chrome. But Jaxon doesn’t seem to get what’s exactly wrong. HE ISN’T GOOD WITH FEELINGS CIEL, HE LITERALLY TOLD ROBIN “so is that it” AFTER ROBIN TOLD HIM AND MULTI TO GO TO THE TOP OF THE X WITHOUT HIM IF THEY GOT CHOSEN IN THE PERSONAL VOTES AND MULTI HAD TO TRANSLATE BECAUSE ROBIN WAS BEWILDERED. But of course they haven’t met or interacted directly so Ciel doesn’t know this.
Ciel STILL has his mask on despite saying “I’m worthy”, so he might still be trying to salvage what’s left of his “role” to win Chrome’s approval and attention again. Or he might be also doing it for himself and his hard efforts, because he got smacked to the side. I have no clue how to interpret this because I’m just horrified. Is he saving a bit of his identity or still Blader Z for Chrome?
we then get footage of everyone, Chrome’s talking to himself again and smiling with his punchable face, Sigrid is on the car ride home, Team Persona is eating some sushi— WHAT THE HELL JAXON

we get this ominous moment where Jaxon turns and faces the viewer with an uncomfortable moment of eye to eye contact! Does he know more than he’s letting on? Does h— I CANT LIVE LIKE THIS PLEASE I NEED THE DISNEY XD CHANNEL PLEASE PLEASE I NEED THE NEXT EPISODE I NEED JAXON AND ROBIN BEING DUMB I NEED MY JOY AND WHIMSY IM TERRIFIED AND ANGRY AT CHROME PLEASE—
I could not keep my bias out of this analysis I am sorry
and last but not least! Prove, remember? Ciel is trying to prove that he can be better than Blader X and he deserves that spot on Team Pendragon more.
#beyblade x#notkamenx thoughts#What the actual fuck was this episode#”beyblade isn’t a game” no shit Takumi I SAW CHROME LOSING HIMSELF EPISODES EARLIER AND NOW THIS#ciel needs a break some therapy and sushi#Jaxon Cross what are you not telling us what do you know WHAT WAS THAT SMILE FOR?#I’d pay to punch Chrome because Ciel should not have been used like that#oh my god Ciel 😭 IM SORRY I WAS EATING CHOCOLATE AND I SPIT IT OUT WITH CHROME’S FACIAL EXPRESSIONS#I loved the voice acting though FANTASTIC whoever is Ciel’s VA needs a raise because that fear that anxiousness the CONFUSION oh my god#Chrome’s VA also needs a raise because it genuinely made me scared more than the animation#when someone manipulative places expectations on you without explicitly stating it like Chrome it’s so terrifying#You don’t want to disappoint them and you want approval because in your eyes they’ve done nothing wrong#Instead it’s YOU who’s not doing enough and you’re what’s wrong and you direct your ugly negative feelings onto someone else#I felt for Ciel#sorry it just made me uncomfortable I’m just mad at Chrome for doing that#can we get Robin and Jaxon being silly again please#no but this was a hella good episode oh my god the writing the animation the voice acting YES#if the goal was to make the viewer feel uncomfortable 1235/10 I felt that emotion incredibly clear#someone get that number pls Jaxon was funny when he said it in the manga#Beyblade X is just. Wow. We went from silly mask guy to a whole bunch of lore behind this.#Previous villains or antagonists were either destroy the world or are very strong and just mean people who need to be humbled#Chrome here is just MY GOD I did not expect this
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just a few javieran horse headcanons because i like them a normal amount
branwen
- tall AND fat. kieran makes sure he’s always fed (maybe even accidentally a teensy bit overfed. just because kieran can’t help but indulge him when he butts him with his head or nuzzles at his pockets when he knows there’s treats in there. but never too much because ‘obesity is a problem, even in animals !’). probably about 17hh, taller than average for a kentucky saddler but nothing too big. especially since kieran himself is quite tall
- VERY well-tempered, both naturally, as well as because kieran has literally made him bulletproof. bagged him, blanketed him, stood, jumped, backflipped onto and off of him. this kindly gentleman of a horse only spooks when he wants to be bratty specifically.
- i think he’s about 6 or so, came from the stables kieran worked at after being orphaned, he was just a colt when kieran was just a kid. kieran learned how to birth foals quickly, and branwen happened to be one of them. with the way that they fell in love with each other and the way that branwen whinnied and pranced up to the fence when kieran came back to buy him after the army didn’t work out, you’d think that horse was born just for him.
- his favourite treats, in order, are rutabaga (kieran’s secret for branwen’s glossy coat. also why he’s kinda fat.), boiled potatoes mixed into his oats, apples, and fresh greens. he’s simultaneously incredibly easy to please because of the simplicity of the latter parts of his favourites list and also very needy and complicated because kieran so loves to make his pony happy with his absolute favourite treats, so he tries his very best to get branwen’s eccentric tastes pleased once falling into the VDL’s.
- i always say “a horse’s favourite thing to do is hurt itself”, and i think this statement holds relatively true for branwen as well, though there’s a 25% chance that he’s actually hurt, a 50% chance that he’s only mildly injured or spooked and he’s playing it up to get kieran to dote on him, and a 25% chance that he will protect kieran with his life when they’re in a dire situation (see: snake on the ground or gunfire nearby. or even god forbid a spare tumbleweed find it’s way rolling nearby.) despite kieran’s last wish being his horse getting injured. branwen thinks that he’s gotta be The Man and protect his dad sometimes. it does not help in any situation ever whatsoever.
- branwen is the PERFECT companion for a trail riding date. he’s settled, calm, has a great gait, and as a gelding, truly is not worried about other horses being “faster” than him, so he never gets rowdy nor has any problems when partner riders/horses crowd him. kieran is allowed to ask for as many kisses as he pleases because branwen will never jump when javier’s gold-tipped boots poke him in the side and boaz irritatedly flicks his flank with his tail. truly a goated wingman. also never complains about long rides, and enjoys being out of camp with his rider for as much as physically possible for both of them, so he’s never barnsour in either direction.
boaz
- as an american paint, he’s naturally short and stocky. saddle ends up being a bit loose, though, as javier isn’t as dedicated to keeping him perfectly fed or groomed. he loves him, sure, but horses are somewhat of tools to him, so he kinda does slightly more than bare minimum to keep him kempt and healthy. around 14.5hh, slightly shorter than average and quite dense with muscle
- temperamentally a bit volatile. this horse has just as much drama as his rider, if not a little more. doesn’t like something ? ridden too long ? that stick looks too much like a snake ? hasn’t spent enough time with kieran that day ? he will snort and grunt and bunny hop if javi isn’t on him, and shudder hard enough the saddle shakes underneath him if he is. boaz likes to please his rider, but he also demands pleasure himself, and has no issue with “accidentally” placing a hoof on his owners nice, intentionally clean boots, and subsequently slowly leaning more and more of his weight onto it when he doesn’t immediately get what he wants. bratty pony. generally, he keeps javier safe, though, when it comes down to it.
- around 5 years old. after dutch found javier trying to steal chickens the first time they met, he soon took him back to that ranch and their first take as gang leader and member was a 1 year old grey paint colt for javi to train and subsequently ride. until he was rideable, javier rode a morgan that was formerly hosea’s, named carolina, while he lead boaz everywhere behind him.
- favourite treats, in order, are corn cobs (especially dried), prickly pear fruit AND cactus, sugar cubes, and sliced apples. will force javier to share his maiz with him. javier has always sliced his apples up since he was a colt, not only because javi simply finds comfort in toying with his knife, but also because boaz will not eat them otherwise. javi will also cut all of the spines off of the cactus before letting boaz eat them.
- in terms of injury, boaz is the most dramatic tank on the planet. this horse could arthur morgan-style run face first into a tree and then fall off a cliff and walk it off. but not before he gimps and limps and whines and teeth grinds his way into javier leading him instead of riding him for the next mile or two. once kieran started taking care of him, there is also a 25% chance of boaz faking a terribly painful injury just to get kieran to dote on him.
- kinda the worst wingman ever LMFAO easily annoyed, easily aroused, easily offended, and as a stallion, HAS to walk in front of the “herd” (his rider’s boyfriend and his horse). pins his ears back, smashes into personal space, flicks branwen with his tail (and preferably kieran, if he can reach him) even sometimes will nip at branwen if the latter tries to calmly make this date a date and not a life or death race (whoever loses, their dad is gay) and walk side-by-side to aid their riders’ hand holdings. will make executive decisions via stopping or veering off for fresh green grass beside the trail, will at points actively attempt to shudder javier out of his saddle (has succeeded once when javi was distracted by a story being excitedly told by kieran), and will also spook and take off running so fast javier thinks it must have broken his neck from the velocity. generally makes trail rides a living hell, but kieran finds it charming, and it makes for some cute shoujo-style “omg … *reaches out to help you up after your horse bucks you off because he saw a log that looked nothing at all and everything like a cougar and pink and white soft bubbles surround me* are you okay ? here, let me help.” moments. maybe some day boaz will be allowed off of the national american terrorist list written by javier “rizzless rider” escuella
ok im tired and that’s all i can think of please enjoy and feel free to contribute 👍 i love them so bad im gona cry
#i’m at the gym for the first time since my od and ouugghh i’m so emotional#it’s 2am aslo. ouu they haunt me#i love thinking about them being silly little domestic cowboys#and just going on dates and riding their little horsies#my fav horse girls !1!!11!1!1!! even tho javi isn’t a horse girl really but in my heart he is cuz kieran loves trail rides#and so javieran go on trail rides a lot as well as “’riding into town’ as an excuse to get out of camp together#javier is so good at listening he truly learned the art of shutting up when he couldn’t speak english and also was learning in america that#he really should trust sparingly because the new world was so incredibly hostile to him from the start simply for being who he was and where#he came from#so he’s such a great active listener and while it’s kinda a trauma response it also works very well for javierans relationship because kiera#has never in his life ever felt important or safe or like anything he said mattered to anyone so perfect brilliant ‘i’m listening go on’ jab#vier makes kieran feel so loved and heard in ways he’s never ever in his life experienced and javi takes them fishing and riding and to the#stables constantly because he’s LISTENED to kieran and kieran never has to ask to do something he wants to do because javi’s already HEARD h#im (and he also knows kieran would never ask for anything first ever because he never feels like he deserves anything at all. nor even feels#safe enough to dare).#and javier gets his cake and eats it too when kieran asks and asks and asks because kieran cares about EVERYTHING right from the getgo beau#se unlike javier kieran has been entirely unable to turn his heart off at all in any capacity so he loves and loves ans loves against his wi#ll so javier has been so adored from the start because kieran can’t HELP it so he gets him gifts and learns things for him and javi just as#much never has to ask for much other than courage from kieran. ever. can anyone hear me is anyone lidtening ouuu#ok enough sorry they make me so emptipnal#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#javieran#kieran duffy#javier escuella#text#hero's talking to himself again#hero’s waxing poetry again#i think that was the tag ¿#im gonna throw up i miss them so bad they’re everything to me oouuggyuuuy
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So excited :]
#i know i crashed out hard this morning and im not sorry about that /hj#and im prob worrying a lot of you (stares at ask box nervously#but i am ok. promise. i just had a lot build up and exploded these 2 days#usually i try not to show it on main but im also in my idgaf era (i will apologize for that yes) so im#im yapping away LOL#just needed to release that tension#bcuz#bcuz irl i cant. like. least not to a capacity i want#you won’t believe it but im relatively very quiet and [calm] irl bcuz of the responsibilities and role i need to be performing#which yep lead to suppression and uh well emotional dysregulation 🤙🏻#i swing between moods like a jump rope#this is literally like those stories where the protag is a huge nerd and gets bully in school but when shes at work or home she’s an idol#except im no idol PFT#just a nerdy panda who complains about the heat every day and draw silly military guys for fun#and crash out over John Price *grips that old man by the biceps*#work is work. fun is fun. i’m disciplined with that clear separation#but it also extended to irl is irl. internet is internet.#which idk if thats a good or bad thing but shrug#anyways#the real reason im excited LMAO sorry i just talked sm shit earlier#annoucement coming sooooonnnnn 🚬🕶️
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#aftg#aftg spoilers#aftg rainbowcrate#aftg short stories#twinyards#he literally said it with a hint of impatience…….#literally enough to make him smile as he turned his gaze out the window………#i’m gonna be sick they mean so much to me#i love seeing andrew kind of showing emotion sorry 🤷🏻♂️ sorry i love you aaron POV and betsy POV of andrew im gonna **** ******#also this is the vine#‘jokes on you the jonas brothers can’t break up THEYRE BROTHERRSSS’#specifically at the they’re brothers part#that’s all i was thinking about
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goooood morning friendz & happy monday ! it’s the start of a brand new week where the possibilities are endless :3 i hope you all have a great one and please remember to be gentle with yourselves ! (๑'ᵕ'๑)⸝*
#omg i finished white lotus last night and im still x.x why was it such a rollercoaster of emotions#i’m SAD bc of the ending but also it’s kinda what i predicted sigh.#i watched all of it the last week so now i’m like .. now what …#jk i’m going back to young justice + water 7#anywhosies !! i need to catch up on the posts i’ve been tagged in sniffle#i’m sorry i have been slacking but i truly love whenever i am tagged in posts 🥺#i have to lock in at work but i’ll be back after ofc (ㅅ´ ˘ `)#i hope you all have a great day !! i love you all lots please don’t forget that :( i’m so happy we’re all here together !!!#₊˚⊹ ᰔ xoxo aims#ヾ( ˃ᴗ˂ )◞ — ✩ daily yap.
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bored again do u guys want this awful thing that sent willow into a coughing fit on stream
#👊😔#👋😔#they were making twitch emotes and one of them was a coughing creature#willow I am so fucking sorry but your laugh is really fun to hear so making u laugh is quite literally music to my ears. and brain#I’m 90% sure I was put on this earth with the sole mission of making people Crack. like. it is my Favorite Activity#<- said with slight embarrassment#doodles#my art#myart#friends#im boredddsd I should’ve brought my iPad with me so I can work on oc refs.. or at least the little chibi thumbnails#I wanna make thumbnails for my characters with them in little pool floaties ughhhh
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Rewatched Alien Stage yesterday…….. holy peak

#So fire……… FAYYAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥#Tears in my pretty princess eyes. SO BLACK BLACK AS IT CAN BE AGGHGGGGGHFFHHDHSHSSHHSGSGSGGG YESSSSSSAAHSGSJLGSFSFAGS#Did I type fags in my keyboard smash. Huh#Ivan pronounced as Evan scares me 💔 my friend who’s a bigger fan (ig) corrected me on the pronunciation and I was like 😨…….#Slowly piecing the story together. Why tf r there comics and posts bruh 💔 making me go on a scavenger hunt for the lore#I’ve always loved VIVINOS man#I watched their older videos before alien stage came out and I was in love w them#I rlly liked the style the uniqueness the feelings they evoqued#So so beauts. Likey#I would like to mention that I didn’t watch it fully the first time. I watched the first three rounds I think?#I stopped watching bc my depression (or whatever this is) really showed up around then and I didn’t feel like watching anything#But man. Peak. PEAAAAAAKKKKKKKKKKKKKK ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️#I rlly love ruler of my heart and black sorrow but every other song in there is majestic. Wowz. GAHHHHHHH#Alien stage makes me forget about my physical pain. It does worsen my emotional damage bc wtf was that 💔 STOP#Till and Ivan r my faves (I think they’re like top 3 most popular atp) but I’m still tryna grasp whatever they got going on……#Ivan’s freaky ass 🌹🕯️#Till is just my little meow meow…… come here I’ll give you some striped ficello (affectionately)#I want to eat ficello but I’ve had sm cheese these past few days I feel like imma throw up. Horrendous trip.#Such a long yap session……#I might draw alien stage stuff in the future so. Yeah.#I keep forgetting to show my month old drawings 😭 guys im sorry. Lazy and in pain#The worm conference#Alien stage#alnst
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Current Mood
it’s literally midnight but here I go
#tw depressing stuff#depressiv#sorry for being depressing#im sorry#Sometimes I worry that when I make emotional posts like these I’m being a burden to everyone. That I shouldn’t post these kinds of things.#That people don’t come here to see my depressive episodes. That I’d be better to just keep it to myself.#I’m scared that when I post stuff like this people will leave#I don’t know what’s wrong with me#i’m so sorry#bpd episode#bpd vent#bpd problems#actually mentally ill#emotionally exhausted#emotionally drained#mentally tired#mentally exhausted#mentally drained#actually bpd#actually borderline#bpd thoughts#current mood#current mental state
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I would just like to point out that it’s canon that in hobbit culture they make light of more serious things—and I would also like to point out that Bilbo’s invitation to Frodo to come live with him is: “You had better come and live here, Frodo my lad, and then we can celebrate our birthday-parties comfortably together.”
And in context it’s just. What if it was Bilbo recognizing Frodo felt lonely and stifled living at Brandy Hall ever since his parents died, and that he was a young hobbit in his tweens with no one to really turn to or give him the kind of attention or stability he needed. What if it was Bilbo offering Frodo that stability and understanding and companionship. What if it was Bilbo telling Frodo he knew he couldn’t replace his parents but could still give him a good home where he could feel safe and secure. And what if it was Bilbo telling Frodo he could do all of that for him through the comment about celebrating their shared birthday together, because they’re hobbits, and hobbits make light of serious things.
#lord of the rings#frodo baggins#bilbo baggins#I’m sorry I just. im having a lot of feelings right now#and that line is making me really emotional for some damn reason#it’s just really sweet when you consider the context okay 😭😭😭#I think about this so much#I love Frodo and Bilbo’s relationship they’re so sweet#analysis#not much of an analysis but I guess it still counts lol
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Beyblade X Ep 34: A Rainbow Guest
GES SJACSLSVWJEVEJEVENEBB BC LABJEBWEVD KB VEJEDV WHAT IN THE OMINOUS SPINNING DRAKE IS THIS EPISODE
Okay, first off, I WAS SO DISTRAUGHT AFTER GETTING HIT WITH A FOUND FAMILY EPISODE THEN WE GET HIT WITH JAXON’S TEAMMATE, SIGRID NANAIRO AND HER REALLY BLUNT ATTITUDE TO EVERYTHING EXCEPT SUSHI. Okay I’m gonna be honest, I did get spoiled that she was Multi’s sister BUT LEGITIMATELY I’M STILL SURPRISED
She and Jaxon are similar but not at the same time??? I mean they both love Komaba Sushi (I figured ever since Memories of Sushi ep because the bigger set was given to her while Chrome was too busy focusing on Jaxon and getting fed blah blah blah and yeah) AND THEY’RE PRETTY BLUNT but Jaxon seems to prefer choose his words while she prefers to choose her actions
The way Robin went to grab the mask and practically suffocated Jaxon had me giggling, LIKE DO THEY JUST HAVE IT ON STANDBY???


Like he was so happy to see her and now he’s getting choked by his hair in the mask
Anyways when Robin was surprised she knew him I figured he’d put two and two together, since in the first ep he knew Jaxon was part of Team Pendragon and so was she? Mini plot hole I suppose
BUT YEAH I noticed throughout the episode Robin kept defending Multi from Sigrid even though he keeps getting cut off which, GAHHHHHH AND EARLIER DURING THE VOTES SHE TRIED TO COMFORT HIM they’re adorable honestly
anyways the reactions when Robin and Jaxon find out they’re sisters 😭


THIS IS THE MOST HORRIFIED EXPRESSION IVE SEEN JAXON EXPRESS IM CRYING WHY DOES HE LOOK SO MORTIFIED
and later on we get a look at baby Multi and Sigrid, WHICH OMG I WANNA DRAW MULTI WITH SHORT HAIR NOW
and…. Babadudum…. You guessed it… why I’m immediately posting my reaction to this….



We get a lovely momentary session where Chrome is slowly continuing to lose it over Jaxon in the corner of a room while Sigrid sits there like the bestie who has to hear about her friend’s relationship problems
CHROME YES I WANTED TO SEE YOU BUT NOT LIKE THIS, HAVE A DAMN SLICE OF LIFE MOMENT OR SOMETHING HELP
and thennnn some shady shit just casually breaks into Komaba Sushi and steals the bey plans Multi had. Hello, how does no one spot this THEY HAVE TWO HUGE ASS BUILDINGS SURROUNDING THEM???
#beyblade x#notkamenx thoughts#IM SORRY I SWORE A BIT IN THIS POST I JUST IM ABSOLUTELY JUST. NOT OKAY AFTER THIS???#all screenshots from Beyblade X you can see this on YouTube with weekly releases or on Disney XD I think#ANYWAYS LIKE. I. I think I said all that needed to be said#oh but the first half of the ep there was a women that look like she could be related to Titus/King#so uh yeah that’s interesting#I do not trust Packun and if he tries anything I’m ready to throw hands but the happy looking guy looks not suspicious#hopefully he doesn’t have a crappy attitude I have all eyes on this team rn#BUT YEAH SIGRID APPEARANCE IS she is so scary sometimes from our baby bird’s POV#but overall she’s just overly blunt and not too bad#the fact she said she’s not passing any message on from Jaxon to Chrome because he won’t listen 😭#I CANT GET OVER THESE THREE PANELS#CHROME PLEASE PULL IT TOGETHER JAXON’S NOT COMING BACK#YOU KNEW FROM THE START PROBABLY HE DOES SPONTANEOUS DECISIONS LIKE THIS#speaking of spontaneous decisions Jaxon said he did leave suddenly and Sigrid wasn’t mad or surprised#HOW CAN SHE FIGURE OUT JAXON AND ACCEPT HIS DECISIONS MORE QUICKLY THAN CHROME#to know that I need to know why Chrome’s so attached and obsessed with Jaxon#THIS CANNOT JUST BE OVER BEYBLADES MY MAN HAS TO HAVE AN EMOTIONAL CONNECTION OR SOMETHING#he literally landed an xtreme finish on his own copy’s bey#also this episode had me thinking of the skill gap between Pendragon and Persona#wait that’s so cool both teams names start with a P#is that intentional idk BUT ANYWAYS APART FROM JAXON this episode put into perspective how scarily strong Sigrid is and#further emphasis on Chrome’s strength#I’m not loving this PLEASE I HAD TO PAUSE THE EPISODE SO MANY TIMES DURING ROBIN’S BATFLE#anyways I was glad to see Chrome but like#man Chrome you have issues someone needs to give him a therapy appointment#this whole episode just left me distraught I ranted so much more in the post and the tags#now I wanna go sleep and hope that maybe I can cook something with this new info while I dream#I actually do have multiple fic ideas in my notes and some of them are written but eh they’re not good
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