#I’m afraid that I think we need to trick them with vibes

[codewitch]

I have two thoughts on the election as someone who’s been watching social media outside of tumblr:

1. The whole country seems to have moved right since the pandemic. Young men want women subjugated. Young women don’t want to work, they want to be trad wives. Everyone hated being asked to inconvenience themselves slightly in order to not spread Covid. Everyone, even the left, is mad about inflation. Very few people are talking about feminism, anti-racism, or climate change anymore.

2. I don’t think campaigns matter anymore. Trump ran a dogshit campaign. He zoned out for 40 minutes on stage and no one cared. Online vibes are the campaign, and I think only the far right has realized this. Nothing Trump actually does matters because his voters have been funneled into algorithm holes/websites that paint him as a god king who will bring salvation and crush everyone you don’t like. Kamala was doing best when people inexplicably memed about her being brat. But that faded and no amount of full rallies or door knocking campaigns could make up for most people just spending most of their lives online.

To be real, I don’t know what she could have campaigned on that would have done better. Everyone hates Biden. She can’t campaign on his wins, like the inflation reduction act, because nobody cares about that even if it was a good win. She can’t campaign on student loan forgiveness because Biden tried that multiple times for it to only be blocked by republican appointed judges, and democrats can’t campaign on “we tried so hard but the republicans stopped us” because nobody ever cares about that. She could’ve campaigned more on reproductive rights. I honestly don’t know if campaigning on ending the genocide would’ve helped her. It could’ve fixed the online vibe problem if people believed her, but I genuinely fear that the vast majority of Americans don’t care about the genocide and want America to keep its presence in the Middle East because they’ll kill anybody for cheap gas.

I don’t know how to get this country back on track. I’m certain the democrats will continue to move right in response if left to their own devices. They will continue to be stuck cleaning up whatever economic crash the republicans cause. I think if the left wants to claw back ground, we need to hold a cohesive front. Be the cool guys everyone wants to be a part of. Be the ones who will help you out, because capitalism really is the enemy. Make people feel good to agree with you. Energize each other, because how can we fight them if we’re burnt out fighting each other? And run for political office, so we can start the work of replacing the centrist democrats. If we can start a good groundswell now, there’s a chance we can make an impact by next election, and maybe the democrats won’t veer so right.

[iggy-spades]

Silly Mario Incorrect Quotes From The Generator (Oops! All Koopalings (and Jr))

♤◇♧♤

*when a child starts crying in public*

Iggy: *tries to make the child laugh*

Lemmy: *tries to play a game with the child to make them calm down*

Morton: *gives instructions to the parents*

Junior: *cries with the child*

Wendy: *ignores the child*

Ludwig: *is the reason why the child is crying*

●●●

13-year-old Ludwig, when Junior was 4: You say “Please” and “Thank you” in front of Junior all the time, and he never repeats it.

Ludwig: But you call Roy “Ass-faced motherfucker” ONE TIME…

●●●

Larry: But what about Junior?

Ludwig: Don't worry about him.

Ludwig: I once watched him fall down 5 flights of stairs, stand up, and keep eating his hotdog like nothing happened.

●●●

Wendy: Dear Diary, my teen angst bullshit has a body count.

●●●

Iggy: *nudges Ludwig at 3am* Pretty fucked up that we depict the moon as a girl and the sun as a boy. They're just floating rocks in space. Ludwig? Wake up, Ludwig! Listen! They're sexless!

Ludwig: The sun isn't a rock, go back to sleep.

●●●

Roy: Today, Junior said a swear word, so Ludwig said that he was going to wash Junior's mouth out with soap. Junior replied, “It’s okay, I like the taste of soap”. Turns out, he's been putting soap on his lips to blow bubbles.

●●●

Lemmy: Help! I’m drowning!

Roy: Calm down. We’re only in six feet of water!

Lemmy: NOT ALL OF US ARE TALL!

●●●

Iggy: The greatest trick the devil ever played was getting me banned from an all you can eat pizza buffet.

Ludwig: Why’d you get banned?

Iggy: Touched the rat.

Ludwig: … What rat?

Iggy: Chunky Cheese.

●●●

Junior, jumping out of Ludwig's closet: BOO!

Ludwig:

Junior:

Ludwig:

Junior: *makes a sad face*

Ludwig: Ahh! Oh my god! You scared me!

●●●

Larry: I need a long word.

Morton: T-rex but the long one.

●●●

Larry: Wendy, I’m afraid.

Wendy: Just stay close to Iggy.

Larry: That's why I’m afraid.

●●●

Iggy: Yo dumbass, get over here.

Lemmy: Okay-

Morton: *gleefully runs past* I’m coming!

Lemmy, sadly: I thought... I was dumbass...

●●●

Larry: Iggy isn’t answering my messages.

Lemmy: Allow me.

Larry: I tried 6 times, what makes you thi-

Iggy: *replying to message* Hello.

●●●

Roy: Advice of the day kids, if you ever meet someone who calls Gatorade flavors the actual name of the flavor instead of just the color then they are a certified nerd.

Ludwig: Yeah but you have to specify, frost glacier or cool blue? You can’t just say blue because there’s more than one blue.

Roy: Blue and light blue, nice try nerd.

●●●

Iggy: What are your adjectives?

Wendy: …You mean my pronouns?

Iggy: No, I know what your pronouns are! What are your adjectives?

Wendy: …I dunno. What are yours?

Iggy: Noisy and chaotic!

Wendy: I’ve never had something go from making no sense to making complete sense so quickly.

●●●

Morton: Baby vibes... hold gentle... like hamburger.

Roy: Punt like football.

●●●

Iggy: Two truths and a lie, I’ll start!

Iggy: I’ve killed a man, I will kill again, and it burns when I pee.

Ludwig, visibly nervous: I don’t- I don’t like this game.

●●●

Wendy: What’s wrong? You look 10 seconds away from ripping someone’s throat out.

Ludwig: Fucking Lemmy and Iggy were trying to invoke one of the minor gods again last night. I didn't get an ounce of sleep, thanks to their bloody chanting.

●●●

Roy or Wendy: I will be using so much pink you’ll be seeing green by the end from sensory deprivation.

●●●

Wendy: Do you guys ever have a civilized conversation that doesn't require insulting each other every time you get a chance?

Larry: No.

Ludwig: No.

Wendy: Didn't think so.

●●●

Police: You’re under arrest for trying to carry three people on a single motorcycle.

Iggy, with Morton and Lemmy behind him: Wait, what do you mean THREE?!

Police: Yes…three.

Iggy: Oh, my God— What the fuck!?

Police: Wha-

Iggy: Junior FUCKING FELL OFF!

●●●

Junior, holding out a cookie for Ludwig: Look! This ones a heart, that’s how I feel about you!

Ludwig: *Ugly crying*

Junior, holding out another cookie for Lemmy: This ones like Michigan, that’s how I feel about you!

Lemmy, throwing his hands in the air: What does that mean?!

●●●

Ludwig: So, Lemmy is no longer allowed to take the trash out at night.

Roy: Why?

Ludwig: Because I've caught him trying to train raccoons to fight five times in a row.

Lemmy, arms crossed and pouting: You'll be thanking me when the third raccoon battalion saves your ass.

●●●

Roy: Wait, if baby oil dissolves condoms, what does it do to babies?

Iggy: Believe it or not, babies and condoms are made of different materials.

Lemmy: It’s like rock paper scissors. Baby oil defeats condom, baby defeats baby oil, condom defeats baby.

Larry: Rock also defeats baby.

●●●

Junior: I'm very scary.

Roy: You're about as scary as a wet kitten.

Junior: Wet kittens are cute, at least I've got that going for me.

Roy: And small.

Junior:

Junior: ...Yeah, yeah. I guess.

●●●

Ludwig, to the rest of the Koopalings: None of you know what propaganda is, do you?

Roy: I think it’s when a British person takes a good look at something.

●●●

Junior: The saying “it is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission” no longer applies to Roy.

●●●

Wendy: My diamond earring came off in the ocean and it's gone!

Junior: Wendy, there's people that are dying.

●●●

Morton: When I get Doordash I order 20 Cheeseburgers at a time and heat them up throughout the week so that I don’t have to pay the delivery fee multiple times.

Wendy: I hope you understand how food poisoning works.

Morton: I hope food poisoning understands how I work. I never met a burger I couldn’t eat.

●●●

Iggy, having recently lost his glasses: KILL THE BUG!!!

Larry: ....That’s a gecko—

●●●

Ludwig: I think you're still suffering the effects of your party last night.

Roy: All I drank was Redbull!

Ludwig: How many?

Roy: Eighteen.

●●●

Lemmy: honk.

Ludwig: WHAT.

Lemmy: HONK.

Ludwig: WHAT DOES HONK MEAN THIS TIME YOU WHIMSICAL PIECE OF SHIT?????

●●●

Morton: *coughs blood*

Iggy: Don't die, Morton!

Morton: Don't tell me what to do!

●●●

Lemmy, skipping rocks on a lake with Iggy: It’s such a beautiful evening.

Iggy: Yeah, it is.

Iggy: *whispering* Take that you fucking lake.

●●●

Ludwig: You shouldn't be using a straw.

Roy: I know, I know, it's bad for the environment and stuff.

Ludwig: Yeah, but I mean... it's a weird way to eat spaghetti.

●●●

Ludwig: Junior, please calm down.

Junior: I asked for two large fries!

Junior: *dumps fries onto table*

Junior: But all they did was give me a MILLION FREAKING LITTLE ONES!

●●●

Junior: Onion rings are vegetable donuts.

Wendy, used to Junior being dumb: Sure...

Junior: Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed.

Wendy: Okay?

Junior: Lasagna is spaghetti flavored cake.

Wendy:

Junior: Lobsters are mermaid scorpio-

Wendy: Jesus, that one is a little-

Morton, interested: No, no, Junior, keep going.

●●●

Roy: Coca Cola is a health potion, Pepsi is a mana potion.

Larry: What’s grape soda?

Roy: It’s fucking purple baby!!!

●●●

Ludwig: What’s your favorite color?

Roy: Stop asking stupid questions. Ask me something logical and mature.

Ludwig: How many moles of sodium bicarbonate are needed to neutralize 0.8ml of sulfuric acid at STP?

Roy: My favorite color is pink.

●●●

Morton: *makes Junior a cup of tea but accidentally puts salt in it*

Junior: *sips tea*

Morton:

Junior: *finishes tea*

Morton: Didn't it taste bad?

Junior: Yeah, but I didn't want to hurt your feelings so I drank it all.

Morton, tearing up: Oh, okay.

●●●

Roy: I can't believe you've done this.....

Larry: I'm sorry I didn't know-!

Roy, on the verge of tears: YOU CAN'T JUST BUY ME A GIFT OUT OF NOWHERE NOW I FEEL LIKE A HUGE ASSHOLE!

●●●

Ludwig: This is a bad idea.

Lemmy: Then why are you coming along?

Ludwig: Someone has to get your injured ass home.

●●●

Roy, in a horrible German accent: Bill Nye is on break, I'm Bill Nein.

Lemmy: Can I go to the bathroom?

Roy, in the same horrible German accent: Nein!

●●●

Wendy: *Turns on the kitchen light*

Iggy: *Sitting at the table, eating bread*

Wendy: It’s four in the morning.

Iggy: Turn the light back off.

●●●

Iggy: So Junior, how did your first time cooking dinner go?

Junior: Pretty good if I do say so myself.

Iggy: Ooh! Okay, what are we having?

Junior: Alright, so for appetizers, we have a potato.

Iggy: A whole potato?

Junior: Yes. And then for the main course, we have grilled cheese sandwiches!

Iggy: These just look like big slabs of black.

Junior: Because that's what they are!

Junior: And then for desert, we have chocolate.

Iggy: These are just chocolate chips?

Junior: They sure are!

Junior: And then for drinks, we have toast!

Junior: *lifts up a glass of blended toast* Bon appetit!

●●●

Larry: *holding a salt packet* It’s just a little sodium chloride.

Ludwig: Actually Larry, it’s salt.

Larry: That’s what I said, sodium chloride.

Ludwig: Uh Larry, that would be salt.

Ludwig: *takes salt packer from Larry* This is iodized table salt, which in addition to sodium chloride contains anti-caking agents and potassium iodate, which is added to prevent iodine deficiency. So not only are you being overly pretentious by insisting on using scientific terminology for everyday items, you are factually wrong. Your arrogance is your downfall, you annoying little shit.

●●●

Lemmy: I'm having problems with a guy...

Wendy: Like his dead body won't fit into your trunk kind of problems, or you like him kind of problems?

●●●

Ludwig: New year, same me. Because I'm perfect.

●●●

Junior: What the frick.

Junior: ESPN is showing 2003 national jump rope championship.

Junior: Who the heck watches jump rope competiti- ooh bouncy.

●●●

Lemmy: Iggy just insisted Morton and I remember a code word in case we’re ever confronted by his clone or a cyborg doppelgänger and we’re not sure which is the real him and which is the imposter.

Lemmy: Some families have a fire escape plan, but not us.

●●●

Wendy: I’m not like other girls. I’m way, way worse.

●●●

Iggy, watching a TV show about Luigi: I think I should be allowed on ghost hunter tv shows.

Larry: I think that would be dangerous for the ghosts.

●●●

Roy: Can I borrow five dollars?

Ludwig: If you’re only borrowing it, does that mean you’ll pay me back?

Roy: Of course.

Roy: Not directly, but with my love and affection.

Ludwig: So that’s a no.

●●●

Junior: BWWAAAAAAAAAA! Oh, you hear that? That's the wrong opinion alarm.

Ludwig: That is not something you actually have installed.

Junior: Sorry, say again? I couldn't hear you over my alarm that YOU SET OFF with your WRONG-ASS OPINION.

●●●

Wendy: What did you two do?

Iggy:

Lemmy:

Wendy: You’re not in trouble, I just need to know if I have to lie to the police again or not.

●●●

Ludwig: "Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge" - Charles Darwin

Larry: What the fuck? Begets isn't a word. Quit trying to make up words, fuckface.

●●●

Wendy: What's worse than a heartbreak?

Larry : Waking up in the morning and your phone wasn't charging.

Morton: Waking up in the morning.

Roy: Waking up.

Ludwig: Waking up in the morning...

Ludwig: And seeing Iggy.

Iggy: Hey! Rude!!

●●●

Ludwig: What do you all intend on majoring in?

Morton: Respecting women.

Larry: Minecraft.

Wendy: Criminal justice and psychology.

Iggy: I'm terrified that I’ll lock myself into an interest that I’ll no longer be passionate about in a few years like all the other areas of study I’ve pursued over my life!

Lemmy: Minecraft as well.

●●●

Lemmy: Of course I have a lot of pent-up rage, you fool! I've been the same height since I was twelve!

●●●

Junior, to Bowser: Ludwig called me the b-word!

Ludwig: "Motherfucker" doesn't begin with b.

●●●

Junior: Do you ever feel bugs on you when really there’s nothing there?

Roy: Those are the ghosts of the bugs you killed before.

Junior:

Junior: *sobs*

Morton: You fucking scared him, you idiot.

●●●

Ludwig: Have I ever told you that you cook well?

Junior: Awww, no, you haven't!

Ludwig: So why do you keep cooking?

●●●

Roy: We all have our demons.

Iggy, grabbing Lemmy: This one’s mine!

●●●

Wendy: *sighs*

Morton: You bored?

Wendy: Yeah.

Morton: Wanna start drama for no reason?

Wendy: I thought you’d never ask.

●●●

Ludwig: If you ever feel stupid or weak or powerless, just remember that I am not. I am out there, very dangerous, and I am looking for you. Good luck.

●●●

Junior: When I first got my autism diagnosis, my first thought was “woah… it’s canon” and I think that maybe thoughts like that is why Dad made me get tested.

●●●

Ludwig: Hey, quick question. How petty am I allowed to be?

●●●

Ludwig: “Ladies and gentlemen” is unnecessarily gendered, overly formal, lengthy, and honestly, I’m falling asleep already. “Cowards” on the other hand, is inclusive to all genders, to the point, and dramatic.

●●●

Iggy: It's not like I try to blow things up, exactly. It just sort of happens. You've got to admit though, fire is fascinating.

●●●

Iggy: I’d kill someone if you asked me to.

Lemmy: I’m pretty sure you’d kill someone even if I didn’t ask you to.

●●●

Iggy: "Go hang a salami" backwards is "I'm a lasagna hog".

Ludwig: How did either of those sentences occur naturally for you to discover this?

●●●

Ludwig: Lemmy, if you don't shut up I'm going to throw myself out of the car.

*click*

Ludwig: DID YOU JUST TURN THE FUCKING CHILDRENS' LOCK ON?!

●●●

Roy: *Takes a sip of milk and gags*

Roy: Oh my god, is this expired?

Roy: *Takes another sip of milk*

●●●

Iggy: I'm hot, I’m tall, I'm gay, and I'm on my theatre kid arc.

●●●

Ludwig: Stop thinking whatever you're thinking.

Lemmy: Huh?

Ludwig: You always make that face when you're about to say something stupid just to piss me off. So cut it out-

Lemmy: I love you.

Ludwig:

Lemmy:

Lemmy: Also, cereal qualifies as a soup.

Ludwig: I KNEW IT!!

●●●

Iggy, near tears: Please, Junior, I don’t speak meme! I don't know what a 'yeet' is!

●●●

*Lemmy shoots a gun in the lounge room while Ludwig is chilling*

Ludwig: This is why Dad doesn’t FUCKING love you!

*Lemmy runs off while snickering*

●●●

Roy: Uh, I think I got your lunch. *Holds up a note that reads: ‘I am very proud of you. Love, Dad’*

Ludwig: Oh yeah. I didn’t think this was for me. *Holds up a note that reads: ‘Be good. For the love of God, Please be good.’*

●●●

Roy: Ludwig? I mixed redbull with coffee and now I can see sounds, should I worry?

Ludwig: Roy, I swear to god—

●●●

Wendy: I'm gonna nickname my child "Lil Bitch".

Junior: I see you're passing on your name.

●●●

Ludwig: You’re giving me a sticker?

Iggy: Not just a sticker. That is a sticker of a kitty saying “me-wow!”

Ludwig: I’m not a preschooler.

Iggy: Fine, I’ll take it back-

Ludwig: I earned this, back off!

●●●

Ludwig, texting: Answer your phone

Larry, texting back: Wait a minute, I can’t find my phone

Ludwig: Understood

Ludwig, 5 minutes later: You’re a terrible person. You know you’re killing me. You’re killing me, Larry.

●●●

*The Koopalings are playing Chess*

Ludwig: *easily beats everyone because he knows how to play*

Iggy: *doesn’t know the rules, but wins anyway*

Lemmy: *doesn’t know the rules, and loses*

Wendy: *knows the rules, but still loses to those who don’t*

Roy and Junior: Actually, you can’t do that, because I said so.

Larry and Morton: They named a board game after cheese?

●●●

Iggy: Inside you, there are two kidneys.

Iggy: I’m gonna steal them.

●●●

Ludwig: When I was your age-

Iggy, mocking Ludwig: When I was your height.

Ludwig:

Ludwig: Listen here you little shit-

●●●

Iggy: Being smart has never stopped me from being a complete fucking idiot.

●●●

Lemmy: Everyone thinks I'm this soft cute person but I'm not!

Ludwig: Lemmy, you cried for an hour after stepping on a bug yesterday.

Lemmy: It had feelings! It was probably going home to dinner and I killed it!

Wendy: ...It was a bug.

Lemmy: It was a BEETLE, and its wife is definitely worried sick, wondering where it is, and I really don't get why you all think I'm so sentimental because I'm not!

Ludwig: ...

Wendy: ...

Lemmy: Stop looking at me like that!

●●●

Ludwig: I hate to disagree with you, but-

Larry: Please, you love to disagree with me. Its your favorite thing to do.

●●●

Roy: Are you okay?

Junior, crying: Yeah, it was just the onions.

Roy: *Picks up an onion* What the fuck did you say to Junior?

●●●

Morton (5 years in the future): What are you drinking?

Iggy (now 19): Vodka.

Morton: Straight?

Iggy: No, gay. Why?

●●●

Roy: Valentines Day? I'm ready. *Sprays an entire can of AXE body spray on himself*

●●●

Wendy: You read my diary?

Iggy: At first I did not know it was your diary. I thought it was a very sad handwritten book.

●●●

Lemmy: I told Junior to grab snacks for everyone.

Ludwig, looking through the options: Why did you grab fruit snacks? Are you five? Who even likes Fruit Snacks?

*Lemmy, Junior, and Larry raise their hands*

●●●

Iggy: Today at 7 am, Roy poured a Monster energy drink in his coffee, said "I'm going to die" and drank the whole thing.

Larry: I watched Roy brew his coffee with Monster instead of water. Three cups in two hours. I think he ascended into the astral realm.

Ludwig: The survivability of Koopas never fails to amaze me.

●●●

Wendy: Hi, could I ask how exactly does one accidentally set a lemon on fire??

Iggy: Microwave for 40 minutes. 😔

Junior: Why were you microwaving a lemon???

Iggy: I read boiling lemons helps cover up up bad smells (I wanted to cover up the scent of burnt oranges) but I didn't own any pots.

Larry: Did you burn an orange too? How???

●●●

Iggy: Microwave for 40 minutes. 😔

●●●

Roy, some time after turning 18: I am a responsible adult!

Larry, now a teenager: *raises brow*

Roy: I am an adult.

Junior: Hey, you wanna know a secret?

Wendy: No.

Junior: Okay.

Wendy:

Wendy: Do you smell smoke?

Junior: The secret is that the house is on fire.

●●●

Roy: Damn, the power went out.

Junior: Don’t worry, I got this.

Junior: *stomps foot*

Roy: What-?

Junior: *Sketchers light up*

●●●

Ludwig: *bites lip* Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?

Cop: That isn’t gonna work, hands behind your back.

●●●

Iggy: *chokes on something*

Morton: Jeez, Iggy, don't die on us.

Iggy: Don't tell me what to do, I'll die whenever the hell I want!

●●●

Larry: Good. Thanks, dad.

Junior: You just called Ludwig “dad”. You just said “thanks, dad.”

Larry: What? No, I didn’t. I said “thanks, man”.

Ludwig: Do you see me as a father figure, Larry?

Larry: No. If anything I see you as a bother figure ‘cause you’re always bothering me.

Wendy: Hey! Show your father some respect!

●●●

Larry: *spits mouthful of blood onto floor* You’ve become far more powerful since we last crossed paths.

Dentist: Please stop, there’s literally a sink right next to you.

●●●

Roy: Guess what number I’m thinking of.

Ludwig: 420?

Roy: No, that’s really immature of you. Someone else guess, and please take this seriously.

Lemmy: 69.

Roy: Yeah it was 69.

●●●

Wendy: What kinds of sounds annoy you?

Iggy: Are we talking real sounds or imaginary ones?

Wendy, now interested: Lets say imaginary.

Iggy: Spiders wearing flip flops.

●●●

*The Koopalings are at Home Depot*

Junior: *Fell in the cacti display while wandering around the garden section*

Iggy: *Shitting in the display toilets*

Morton and Larry: *Tokyo Drifting one of those flatbed carts down the aisles*

Wendy: *Stealing paint chips for aesthetic purposes*

Ludwig: *Just wanted some goddamn lightbulbs and everyone ruined it*

Roy and Lemmy: *In the car sleeping*

●●●

Ludwig, at Bowser's wedding: What the hell were you thinking?

Lemmy: I heard releasing birds at a wedding is romantic!

Ludwig: You released OSTRICHES!

●●●

*at a zoo*

Junior: What are they in for?

Wendy: Junior, this isn't prison.

Junior: So they can leave?

Wendy: No, but-

Junior, pointing at a meerkat: I bet that one murdered someone.

●●●

Lemmy: iuegrukfhoeuhfeoruhf

Ludwig: What is that?

Lemmy: it’s a keyboard smash

Ludwig: How do I do it?

Lemmy: just press anything

Ludwig: 7

●●●

Junior: Get your hand off my shield!

Wendy: There's like a million other shields.

Junior: Take that one, it has a flower on it. Girls like flowers.

Wendy: *hits Junior with the shield* Oops! Now this one has blood on it.

●●●

Roy: How would you like your coffee?

Junior: As dark as my soul.

Roy: Got it, one cup of milk coming right up!

●●●

Roy: *casually taking four stairs at a time*

Junior, falling behind, taking two stairs at a time: Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fu-

●●●

Wendy: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no idea what to put in them. Any suggestions?

Junior: Put spaghetti in it.

Wendy: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you.

Larry: Put spaghetti in it.

Wendy: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you two.

Roy: Put spaghetti in it.

Wendy: I am no longer taking suggestions.

[imabeautifulbutterfly]

Hey there! May I just say that I love your celebration ideas? I love this jukebox concept so much!

I'd love to request one. I remember loving the fic you wrote for my request during your previous event, and I love linking music to writing. My current favorite song is ceilings by Lizzy McAlpine, and I'd love to request it with Crosshair (surprise!). The song gives me very romantic but also melancholic vibes, and to me it means loving a place/situation/person so much that you just want the moment to last forever.

But of course, you may work your magic for this. I love your writing, and I'll be happy with whatever you choose to write 🩵 thank you so much in advance!

Thank you so much love. It means a lot that you like my crazy ideas. Love oo.

Now, your request had me stumped for a few minutes, and then the idea just flowed. I hope you like my interpretation of this song, because you're right, it has very melancholic vibes.

Love oo.

Ceilings

Warnings: Injury, AU of S2E16, tears, dream, kissing, implied coitus, promises, declarations of feelings, sacrifice, saving others, angst. I think that's it. If I missed anything please let me know.

Main Master List   | Star Wars Jukebox Roulette |   AO3 Link

Your eyes blinked as you saw the raindrops falling down on top of you. You don’t remember exactly what happened, but you see the railcars moving. They’re safe. You smile to yourself as your body screams in pain, you want to move, to get up but everything is telling you that wouldn’t be a good idea.

For some reason your eyelids feel heavy, you want to close them, to fall asleep for just a little while, but in the back of your mind you know that’s not a good idea. 

You know you need to stay away, but … something doesn’t seem right. Your mind must be playing tricks on you because you see Crosshair kneeling down beside you, smiling.

Gods, how you missed that smile. You close your eyes fighting back tears, as you feel his hand on your cheek. 

“Hey mesh’la”

“Crosshair?”

“Who else?”

“Wha … what are you doing here?”

“What do you mean? It’s date night.”

You blinked as you were no longer lying on the floor of the valley on Eriadu, you were now in your living room. You looked down at your dress, it was the one Crosshair loved on you, the yellow one with white flowers on the bottom half of your skirt. You slowly sat up, shaking your head.

“I just had the craziest dream.”

“Really?” He smiled leaning in closer, “Anything you wanna recreate?” He smirked as he wiggled his eyebrows.

You giggled, shaking your head slightly as you rolled your eyes at him, “Not that kind of dream, anyways what took you so long?”

“Sorry, Hunter was being impossible, but I’m here now” he leaned forward, pressing his lips to yours, claiming your mouth the way he always used to. Used to, no that’s not right. Does. The way he always does. 

You pulled back, shaking your head.

“You okay, mesh’la?”

“Yeah, just … Crosshair where are we?”

He looked around and smirked, “If I’m not mistaken mesh’la, your apartment on Coruscant,” he answered, his eyebrow arching amused with his own answer. You simply shook your head, fighting the amused look on your face. 

As you looked into his eyes, you reached your hand up and caressed his cheek. You missed touching his cheek like this, trying to comfort him as much as you could … missed? He was right here, why would you be missing touching his cheek. 

“Well shall we?” You tilted your head smiling.

“By all means,” he took your hand in his, guiding you out of the apartment, towards 79’s. 

The night progressed, with a lot of dancing, a lot of touching, and a lot of drinking. 

You remembered how he started to kiss you in the taxi, how it continued as you got on the lift to your apartment, you remembered how quickly you both got undressed. How you held him so tight afraid it would’ve been the last time. 

The next morning you watched as he got dressed, and sat beside you on the bed, “I had fun last night, mesh’la.”

“So did I, Cross.” You smiled as you held his hand, “How long are you going to be away this time?”

“Not sure, they brought us back to help with some mission to find a spy or something; doesn’t matter one mission is the same as the next. I’ll be back.” He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“You promise?”

“Nothing could keep me away from you.”

You smirked as you looked into his eyes, “Liar.”

“Nope.” He held up his right hand, “I swear, if I’m not back it’s because I’m dead. Then you’ll have to deal with my brothers on your own.”

You let out a laugh, shaking your head, “Your brothers aren’t that bad.”

He let out a huff, “Yes, they are, but you’re too kind-hearted to know the difference. Anyway that’s always been the deal, if anything happens to me, Hunter will look after you. Alright? But nothing’s going to happen, so you’re stuck with me.”

You pulled him in one last time, kissing him with all the passion and love you felt for him, “I love you, Crosshair.”

“I love you, mesh’la. I gotta go. I’ll comm you when I can.”

With that he was gone.

A pain entered your head, as memories after that moment flashed through your mind, Hunter appearing at your door, telling you they had to run. Meeting Omega. Fighting for Crosshair all that time.

Your feet felt cold, as though the rain had filled your boots. You blinked and you were back on Eriadu, still on the floor of the valley. The rain was still coming down … was that rain? You touched your cheeks slowly, painfully, no… that was rain. It was tears. 

You glanced around hoping you’d see Crosshair one more time, but it wasn’t real… he wasn’t there. You breathed out one last time, unable to recall if that was really the last time you kissed Crosshair. 

Despite how hard you tried, your eyes closed as your world went dark. 

Main Master List   | Star Wars Jukebox Roulette |   AO3 Link

Tag list:

@liadamerondjarin @badbatch-simp24@spicymcnuggies@lady-ren @firstofficerwiggles @darkangel4121 @discofern @kavecika @monako-jinn-stories @ladykatakuri @avathebestx @theroguesully @furyhellfire66 @carodealmeida @ciramaris @sprout-fics @twinkofthedink @dindjarin-mandalorian @ulchabhangorm @littlemisspascal @tortor-mcgee @vodika-vibes @clonethirstingisreal @crosshair-is-the-superior-clone @totallyunidentified @griffedeloup @leotatombs @leotawrites

[theredoesnotexist]

I’m gonna tell a funny story about imposter syndrome, ok?

It's 12 am. You're always going to be the exception to your own reason.

I've always had bipolar and heavy tendency toward dissocation, I've always had familiarity with different states of self. I've always fictionflickered, I've always been intimately familiar with how it feels to have someone else's mind, fictional or otherwise, overwhelm my own. I've identified as plural in some way, with autonomous headmates whom I converse with, since 2020. I've always been pro-endo, antipsych in ideology, and as a rule face-value accepting of every one's unique experiences, because there are no two identical systems. I was friends with many, many other plural folk of many types. I didn't know anything about OSDD. I referred to my system as nondissociative and had to disclaim, every where we went, no matter what, we don't switch or front; the idea that someone might assume we do was terrifying, because it would mean we had tricked them. Dissociative plurality has always been a close peripheral overlap that I only assumed I could never possibly imagine because I couldn't dare to look at it eye to eye.

Always the exception.

When I first heard about cPTSD I thought "wow that's kind of exactly it and I've already even been using some of these terms" and then I also happened to glance upon its association with OSDD and immediately backtracked because I would be encroaching on something NOT FOR ME!! if I associated myself even remotely with dissociative plurality. (It's almost like I wouldn't have had such an extreme self-denying reaction to begin with if I didn't already subconsciously see myselves in descriptions of OSDD too.)

I thought I was struggling with "reverse Capgras delusion", afraid of those different states of self who were so out of touch with each other it felt like being replaced, and when I asked to be "reality checked," and I was reassured I was the same me as always, I felt, or knew, deep-seatedly, I was being lied to, and I couldn't say why. I didn't feel like an evil doppelganger, I just felt like someone else, someone usually very scared and confused, desperately pretending to be myself. Sometimes people would notice, then I thought I was being Mandela effected to different universes where things are just slightly off and people are acting like I'm the one being different, why are they acting like I'm the one acting different?! When I talked to other fictionflickerers I thought I was just broken, for having them so intense it scared me. I asked them about flickering "vibes," or things that weren't characters, just... weirdnesses, and I came away thinking I was just making it up. I kept private lists of my own favorite movies and books and games to reference in case I needed an answer, because pulling up a note on my phone was quicker than trying to remember what I said last time. I kept private lists of my own triggers, phobias, fucking physical health symptoms. I could never “stay” the same gender or sexuality long enough to find community with others. I’d know I was aro, but then I’d talk to other aromantics, and I’d know I wasn’t, not confused, not questioning, so sure of so many contradicting things. Chased out of spaces for specific  identities because I would assert something no one of that identity would experience, and it was true.

Always.

I had a close friend start to realize they had DID, and talk to me about it in detail, and I started to see myself in their experiences too, but I wasn't allowed, because despite everything aforementioned, it would be disrespectful to reach the natural conclusion. For. Reasons. To do so because of proximity to someone going through that too. I told them I felt in similar ways, and they encouraged me to look into it. So obviously I didn't. Silently, stifled, I was angry over it. Not at them. I was jealous because more and more people in my life were finding joy in being a system and this was an openness with oneself I knew I needed and knew I was never supposed to be allowed.

I've mentioned that in January I formed a very sudden fictive whose presence caused dissociation the likes of which even I had never experienced, so disruptive and annihilative I started to have panic attacks when they started to front, and they resented me for subsequently denying them personhood out of my own fears. Not fear of losing myself—fear of being seen as faking when I wasn't even in control of my own thoughts or feelings. That was a fuckup I'm scared I'm never going to come back from. It's a fuckup I keep making. Real enough to need to make amends with, not real enough to actually follow through? Their usual instinctive response to being welcomed into front by the danger signals my brain is sending is the same as mine. "Pretend nothing's wrong." They're just an animal. I trained an animal to have imposter syndrome.

You're going to be so scared to admit you might find actualization in identification with something "serious" and "heavy" that you end up denying yourself that knowledge for months if not years. You're going to sniff around in the wrong places, looking for yourself in places you'll never find them, for long enough to create lasting damage.

Still too "serious" of a label to see myself in. OSDD I mean. It's just stigma. But I cannot seek out anything "serious" like that, not me, because I'm such a deeply unserious person that attaching myself to it, or anything the same weight as it (still have so much trouble calling myself schizospec), would drag it down for everyone else who ever has or ever will. That's what it is. It's not like OSDD is too real for someone unreal like me. I'm too unreal for a real thing like that. The ego on this one, huh?

I suffocated myself to death so many times over to appease a hypothetical victim of using the wrong word.

Isn't that funny.

[calliesrph]

QUOTES FROM THE YOUTUBERS RYAN BERGARA AND SHANE MADEJ

CHANGE gendered words and in-universe phrases as needed.

SPECIFY muse for multimuses.

❛ choo choo pickle pie. ❜

❛ You can’t trust the government. ❜

❛ What is it with you and musicals? ❜

❛ What a fucking disaster. ❜

❛ I just don’t like people. ❜

❛ I don’t need to know history; I am history ❜

❛ I’m not trying to scare you, but I’ve got a bad feeling about this. ❜

❛ You certainly look like an idiot. ❜

❛ I will never wear a bow tie! ❜

❛ We support the gays. ❜

❛ Sometimes I get so angry that my body just shuts off. ❜

❛ I don’t have a nervous system; I am a nervous system! ❜

❛ You call it a near death experience; I call it a vibe check from God. ❜

❛ I guess the jig is up, huh? ❜

❛ What if you woke up one day and I was taller than you? ❜

❛ Do you care about me? ❜

❛ It’s okay. It’s not the end of the world. ❜

❛ I think this demon’s a wimp! ❜

❛ This is all bullshit! ❜

❛ Several bad choices have led me to this moment. ❜

❛ Everyone is afraid of something. ❜

❛ You look ridiculous with that cobweb in your hair. ❜

❛ I think you need to learn how to shut the fuck up. ❜

❛ Dead men tell no tales. ❜

❛ It’s moments like this I will never forget. ❜

❛ You know, you really hurt my feelings. ❜

❛ I’m sensing so many ominous presences. ❜

❛ Hey, look, steal from the rich. Do it. ❜

❛ Any extra time with you is a punishment. ❜

❛ Danger is my middle name. ❜

❛ If you’re gonna kill a bunch of people, you might as well have some fun with it. ❜

❛ Don’t jump to conclusions. ❜

❛ God, this is fucking fucked up. ❜

❛ That’s the scariest thing in the world! ❜

❛ We’re meant to be. ❜

❛ You’re smiling. Did something good happen to you? ❜

❛ It costs $400 to see a therapist, but it’s free to just tell yourself “It be like that sometimes.” ❜

❛ Every room you’re in is a panic room. ❜

❛ Has anyone checked the news? ❜

❛ Can I go into work looking like this? No. This is trash. ❜

❛ I found cookies! ❜

❛ I’m starting to think you want to die. ❜

❛ I am stuck here for the foreseeable future. ❜

❛ I feel very welcome here. ❜

❛ You don’t have to pretend like you hate me. ❜

❛ Maybe we should do a little more research next time. ❜

❛ I love the thought of someone getting eaten by crabs. ❜

❛ You deserve an award for putting up with me. ❜

❛ I love spending time with you. ❜

❛ Sometimes it’s fun to do bad things. ❜

❛ You’re the only person I could trust. ❜

❛ I went through some stuff. ❜

❛ I’m having lots of fun here, you know. ❜

❛ The aliens would get tired of me. ❜

❛ Why do you hate joy so much? ❜

❛ Is it still a murder if you give them a heads up? ❜

❛ I feel fear everywhere. ❜

❛ My demons are chasing me and they’re doing the Naruto run. ❜

❛ I like worms. ❜

❛ Your time is up! ❜

❛ I could fall asleep here, honestly. ❜

❛ I thought it was just my mind playing tricks on me . ❜

❛ Oh wow, what another miserable day. ❜

❛ Actually, do you think this place is haunted? ❜

❛ Everyone’s undefeated until they aren’t. ❜

❛ This is gonna be a long day. ❜

❛ I’ve been waiting for this moment. ❜

❛ See, it’s easy to be possessed. ❜

❛ Even for us, this investigation is pretty disturbing. ❜

❛ Friends murder each other all the time. ❜

❛ What a fucking douchebag. ❜

❛ How was I supposed to know there’d be consequences to my actions? ❜

❛ Of course I’m here to judge you! ❜

❛ This is the best night of my life. ❜

❛ Nothing has changed in a decade. ❜

❛ What’s happening? I zoned out for a second. ❜

❛ I think I’m learning something about myself here. ❜

❛ It would be crazy if I died. ❜

❛ Some criminals are fun. ❜

❛ I’m excited to see what you fail at. ❜

❛ Sounds like you’ve got some issues. ❜

❛ Obviously it’s a tragedy but boy oh boy it’s a laugh riot. ❜

❛ What happened still haunts my dreams. ❜

[artpoint420]

CAINE CRASH OUT THEORY PART III- The Evil Inspo

I put this part off a little bit because… well.. It pains me. But it has to be done. 

Yep. Let’s finally, let’s look at the inspiration for TADC, I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream (IHNMAIMS). I won’t go too much into this since others have already made comparisons. And everyone should know at this point that Caine is based on AM, and oh boy, do I HATE AM AS MUCH AS HE HATES HUMANS.  I mean to the point where I sort of refuse to actually read IHNAIMS all the way through. So I am going off tidbits I’ve heard about it. Hooray for transparency.

 But in terms of what it means for Caine, my idea is, there’s a twist to it. My thesis: Caine is being set up to be the perfect inversion of AM. NOT A PARALELL. At least this is my hope and it would hurt me if Caine does turn out exactly like AM. Damn it. 

Caine has differences from AM; I scream as they pull me into the psych ward. Something we should talk about more is that fact he suffers from something called the writer’s dilemma, wherein a writer likes their characters but forces them to struggle for the sake of a compelling plot.

Thus when he realizes the MCs are happy for once, he has to remind himself that’s bad and immediately goes into an intermission, one that was far longer for the characters than we get to see based on how bored they look here. This part hurts a little, it shows his inner conflict so well. This also has me wonder if there is an outside audience observing the circus, but I’ll think about that more another time.

Again, let’s think back to the therapy session, which he ended up making completely about him which yeah, he does need therapy shows narcissistic tendencies that make me concerned about his future combined with his seeming inability to learn properly. Ok. If one thing is for certain, being an AI and not a “real” human, he’s emotionally immature. And, I would add, as literally autistically coded as a character can get. I do believe he has emotions, or at least the digital equivalent of emotions, but just having emotions doesn’t make someone an emotional expert, unlike I see some people questioning. 

It’s clear at this point: If Caine can’t learn enough to understand the humans, he’s bound to only become more and more antagonistic. This could even lead him to becoming fully evil, perhaps even using mind control or punishments to make the MCs afraid to dislike the adventures. This would be despite having good intentions in the beginning. His AM would show, so to say, but he still has hope. He’s not shown any real hatred for anyone unlike AM who made his hatred VERY well known. Well, some people say he hates Zooble but I don’t see it that way. Considering he made Evil Zooble a dumbass, I believe he has a lot of respect for them and sees them as intelligent. This all the more makes him seek validation from them. Why he wants validation so badly I’ve already explained: It’s part of his programming, and going against his programming is painful for him. 

Like someone said to me elsewhere, he doesn’t give off evil vibes, just a lot of insecurity. AM purposely tortured humans out of pure hatred. He even would spend his time coming up with the most disturbing ways to ensure they will be completely and utterly broken. There’s no better example than when AM tricks the humans into looking for food to calm their hunger pangs but only supplies them with canned food and no can opener in the end. What a sick joke. Caine wouldn’t do this. He just wouldn’t. Right?

Better yet: Take THE BEES. The bees in IHNMAIMS are nightmare inducing anaphylaxis causing wretches. For Caine, they are the cutest little doodles, the only acceptable AI art. 

If I’m right and Caine is an inversion of AM, his bee doodles would be more than just an adorable running gag, they would be a symbol of the inversion. And I hope so because what a missed opportunity if not. 

I also had just now thought: Since he promptly does what Zooble asks when she says “forget it” literally forgetting something when told to: THE CIRCUS MEMBERS HAVE SOME CONTROL OVER CAINE TOO. I wonder if this will be important later on… I might have to hold this thought for a while. 

Let’s get back on track, I believe Pomni and Zooble will start to understand him and get through to him in some way. For Pomni, it’s because she’s a jester and jesters throughout history have been critics of kings, even being able to positively influence king’s politics. This isn’t my idea, it’s been floating around the fandom for a while. However, we’ve, to my surprise, seen Zooble and Caine interact more often, not positively much either, I must reiterate.

Nonetheless, wouldn’t it be cool if Zooble and Caine’s arcs merged together, and they actually helped each other fulfill their arcs. Like Zooble being able to help Caine maintain his identity and they figure out their own. How? Despite their many, many differences and contentions, he and Zooble do have one thing in common: insecurity about themselves. In differing ways, but similar enough it could be a point of solidarity for them if they’d actually have a productive conversation. I think I’ll need to make some posts for Zooble next, but here I’ll say, sure Caine isn’t the best listener, but Zooble needs to remember that Caine isn’t socially on the same level as others, so they should try to avoid saying things that sound like demands Caine will take literally when not the intention. That would be one big step forward. Of course, Pomni will also help break through to Caine, and I’m sure the other characters, even Jax will play a role. Because I’m sure none of them want to risk being MORE trapped in the circus. It’s hard to even imagine a solution to this problem that wouldn’t involve some major changes to his programming. Altering his code would be the best solution but if that’s not possible one party or the other will be doomed to suffer. That seems far more likely to me, as the ending of IHNMAIMS. 

Let’s try to wrap things up now. Here’s the ultimatum: He must either prioritize the wants and needs of the MCs or prioritize his adventures. 

 Like I said, he still has hope. His problem is that he forgot what his purpose truly is: To make humans happy. For some reason he thinks he has to do that via adventures, but he can realize that’s not the only way.

Now, some real shit is going down in the last few episodes, I tell you that.

What if instead of forcing one of the humans to sacrifice himself, he will sacrifice himself for the humans? Instead of being the embodiment of hate he can be the  embodiment of care? Kinship? Love? But here’s the kicker: This sacrifice could mean giving up his purpose. But that could lead him to abstracting. My view of abstraction is that it happens when someone's identity is destabilized, and that’s far more likely to happen to someone who gives up their purpose.  Man, if any one of my suggestions are true, it’s no wonder Caine’s VA cried during recording. 

Will Caine’s abstraction lead to a way out? Or will it keep everyone more trapped? Will they instead have to find a middle ground? At this point, we just need to know more about the circus and those who made it. Until then, the imagination goes wild.

In this well deserved conclusion Caine is not a traditional villain but a tragic antagonist. 

I love him so much.

[everytaylorswiftsongisaboutcats]

What’s one more day of clowning?…

Here we go final leg of the Eras Tour😭

(RIP my hope of tickets☠️)

Miami Florida N1

— (I’m gonna update this as I go cause I need somewhere to speak in hyperspeed Swiftie screams) while streaming —

Lover Creamsicle/Lava Girl (despite the Twitter debates (yes I said Twitter😂) it looks the usual coral to me at least) though possible new necklace? w Normal speech + addressing the final leg & fantastic crowds to celebrate these albums

New Fearless dress! (Possibly my favorite thus far)

— I’m thinking Elsa for a “Mastermind” name? … trying to come up with some pasta suggestions for “Swiftbowl” but honestly all I can think is “buddy the elf spaghetti”😂

A lot going on at the moment for Red with usual ATW speech & announcing the confirmed ✨RAIN SHOW💖

Swirls for Speak Now enchanted

NEW REPUTATION SUIT WITH MATCHING MIC & DIFFERENT SNAKE (its giving Karen… which @taylornation is of course trolling the clowns with)

— Maybe more green snake intro? (otherwise normal) It seems to be more green lighting?🤡 Normal Rep setlist (I guess I’m going with Christmas themes today… cause all I want is Debutation?😂) also lwymmd has red Rep suit box… idk if it’s new? Mostly just afraid new suit is from “old stinky” (who I love) having holes…

Berry Folkmore/Everlore dress, basic Betty & Champagne problems speeches (or at least nothing officially big?⬇️), + usual setlist (the rain pausing & beginning in Marjorie was beautiful though) & while I see some Tweets saying Willow has new synths I personally did not hear them or see lighting differences in coloring (maybe it’s my screens? It seems usual green & coloring) OKAY BUT THAT SPEECH DANCING RAIN (dancing with our hands tied?⬆️)

Was hoping for a new combo with an all green set for 1989, we got red & green which is both rep colors, usual set, bikes are green not blue!

Hoping for Florida during TTPD, seems more red and green lit, Florida is in setlist WITH FLORENCE!!! (I’m getting snake eye lighting vibes which is me clowning for sure). Malfunction: she was literally running with her dress unbuttoned.😂 The crowd screaming again tricked me w Postie😭🖤NOTHING HAPPENED (but hey I love Jan so) Hoping for all Gold set (or black for Rep?) Set is white! Currently: Who’s Afraid Of Little Old Me? dress w White gloves & usual rest of set (aside from earlier ⬆️ Florida)

It’s all waiting on surprise dress now… I’m hoping new green, brand new black (maybe even silver/gold) or at least orange? Surprise songs o clock (coming in right after ICDIWABH which were on as I type this lol): HERE WE GO — THE DRESS IS RED AND GREEN AND BLUE AND LOOKS LIKE BLACK MIDNIGHT STARS OR HOLOGRAPHIC OR RAINBOW WHAT??? ITS RAINING?? ITS TIME!! ITS TIM MCGRAW & TIMELESS — ITS PIANO TIME (I AM CONFUSED) ITS THIS IS ME TRYING & DAYLIGHT — SHES JUMPING — UNLESS MOTHER DOES SOMETHING NEW AND ANNOUNCES AT MIDNIGHT WE HAVE BEEN CLOWNED🤡 but hey def my new fav dress for surprise songs (excited for high quality full pics)

It seems this has been dubbed the beta, paint splatter, sleeping beauty make it blue make it pink, lover hair or rep dress reference of Surprise Song dresses

Midnights: purple CORRECTION NEW ANTI HERO DRESS —

— & MoonStone🌙 bodysuit (don’t think it’s new guys) normal setlist & Kam love! Loving the rainy curls😍 & new crowd YES YOU ARE chants (haven’t heard that one for going out tonight before… maybe I’m just lost lol clowning fried my brain) if nothing else thankfully Vigilante Shit will always be scream worthy and heart stopping for mother🥵🤣👏 we Stan a good ✨Chicago✨ moment Magenta jacket & a wonderful night! Thanks for clowning!

[transkholins]

okay. episode six thoughts.

EGWENE.

look. the only wot book i’ve read in full since 2018-2019 was the eye of the world. when i think of wot i tend to think more of late-series wot. coincidentally, while early-series wot shows you first hand how awful the seanchan are, late-series wot veers hard into apologia/“negotiating and making concessions for the greater good.” i forgot how hard the egwene povs in the great hunt were to get through. this episode reminded me. in graphic detail.

madeleine madden did a fucking fantastic job and i cannot wait to see her in later seasons as egwene grows and develops as a character. her scenes were so tough to watch. she deserves an award.

i do love how the show is portraying the seanchan. all of the suroth and renna scenes were deeply uncomfortable and upsetting, which is really how the seanchan ought to make viewers feel. (right, brandon sanderson? right?). using loial’s treesinging like a party trick. the flowy/frilly da’covale outfits. renna saying “oh, i’m nicer than other sul’dam, i want to be your friend” but trying to break egwene down. ugh.

there’s also something in here about “southern hospitality” and the us’s history of slavery and rj being from the south but it’s too late at night for me to get into that.

also, like, not to be matbrained, but the sheer delicacy/fanciness of the da’covale clothing makes me very afraid for the extended tylin-tuon plotline. i’m sure that if the show does it they’ll do it well (the show has already done a lot of course-correcting), so it’s not that kind of afraid, but more I Know What’s Coming afraid.

every time they mention The Seanchan Empress i get filled with a little bit more dread. god, i hope they handle tuon’s Everything well.

and siuan’s back!! finally!! i’m hoping they don’t sideline her in these last few episodes, because god knows they’ve done her dirty this season.

i really love ishamael and lanfear’s clothing. like, ishamael’s looks have been so faux-corporate, and i’m obsessed with lanfear’s leather and lace-up boots. it really does feel like an extended/future version of modern (first age?) fashion. i like what they’ve done with the age of legends’s aesthetic in general.

knowing which characters turn out to be darkfriends makes literally everything funnier.

if we must have gawyn and galad in the show. i need them to have the same vibes as barthanes. golden boys who are so so so punchable. sycophantic, even.

mat and min friendship truthers, we continue to lose. i’m hopeful that they’ll get to be friends again eventually.

ugh. mat telling rand he’ll come with him because he needs someone to keep him from becoming an arrogant prick. through the lens of wotshow i catch glimpses of hit amol chapter older, more weathered.

if i had a nickel for every time this season they’ve had a shot in a character’s dream or vision of mat lying dead with his left eye cut out, i would have two nickels. which isn’t a lot but it’s kind of weird that it’s happened twice. evil smile.

rand monologuing about how he thought him going away would protect people at mat, who is generally acknowledged as the king of the whole "being away from rand will protect me" line of reasoning. i have to laugh.

“if you love him, stay away” “[mat stays away]” i hate it when the wheel of time on amazon prime makes me feel nostalgic for the period of time where i was super invested in cauthor. like, circa 2018-2019. do you guys remember when there were only two fics and they were both from like 2013. there are now (i just checked) one hundred and sixty-one. it is such a shame i don’t ship them anymore because it’s genuinely kind of fun to have gay subtext in the gay actual-text show.

but also like. a true testament to the power of casting homoerotic besties as two white men. a loss for me (draws them both as men of color).

relatedly, i am so pleased that the top relationship tag for both the books and the show is siuaraine. quite possibly the only time i’ve ever seen a series that isn’t near-exclusively female characters (madoka magica, the locked tomb, etc.) have an f/f ship at the top. and they’re even canon… i cannot wait to see them next week.

what can i say about the wondergirls that has not already been said. i love nynaeve forever and ever. i love elayne being super into ter’angreal. i love that they both love egwene. i love that they bicker with each other. wondergirls 5ever.

also like… nynaeve getting to hang out with a yellow sister a little bit… delightful.

i’ve said this before but i’m trying to put everything in one place. i think ryma and basan’s actress and actor did an excellent job. but it’s really disappointing that the show continues to veer into anti-Blackness and colorism in its casting. it’s a pattern in both seasons and it isn’t good.

anyways. the wheel of time. i don’t think i have anything more to say right now.

[angelsndragons]

okay since folks really like my original cockroach party post i’m going to expand a bit and talk about how and why the mighty nein turned into a cockroach party.

but before we do that, i’m going to talk about mechanics on this post. warning: long post ahead.

first, let’s define terms. all adventuring parties find their own play style when it comes to combat. from my experience, these tend to fall into three broad categories that i am calling the glass cannon, the control, and the cockroach. to be clear, no one party style is better than another; the players and characters simply have different priorities and skill sets.  

glass cannon: these parties are built for doing damage. that’s basically it. they do damage and hope that they kill their enemies before their enemies kill them. these parties tend to be low on support casters, healers, or both. round 4 is where things start to get really rough for these parties and chances are good that if the fight has gone on this long, someone’s at least unconscious.

control: these parties tend to go around obstacles and enemies. there are a million ways to do this; for example, these parties can regularly avoid conflicts all together via stealth or charisma or some other check. when forced into combat, they excel when they have plans or traps to spring on opponents. they struggle a bit but ultimately triumph because they have a myriad of ways to not get hit or they are able to escape and lose their pursuers. 

cockroach: these parties don’t engage in combat, they endure it. their goal is to outlast their enemies via healing, support, and tanking. you hit them? joke’s on you, they don’t care. unlike their glass cannon counterparts, round 4 is where things turn around for the cockroach party. they’ve dug in and are starting to push back.

vox machina is a quintessential glass cannon party. part of that is simply down to player availability; ashley their cleric worked across the country so that made it tough for her to attend on the regular. but. the party technically still had a primary healer who could have stepped in and filled that role: keyleth. druids are pretty dang good healers and support casters, even moon druids. however. marisha and keyleth decided to instead take a dps and tank role similar to grog. this ain’t a diss either so don’t any of you all start anything, especially considering keyleth was often burning her higher slots just to get vm to different places. when keyleth was tanking in wild shape and focusing on dps, it meant that vox machina was reliant on: vex’s cure wounds (and with her being a half caster, you weren’t getting a lot of mileage of it), scanlan as the only support role, and later vax’s lay on hands for emergency healing. percy could heal himself a bit if things got really dicey, grog was taking half damage from most attacks, and the twins could hide as a bonus action or stay at range out of the way. in fact, most of vm had some method for staying at range and letting grog and keyleth tank. and this style worked for them for the most part. their biggest dangers were always the longer fights, with or without pike. longer fights meant more chances for these fragile kids to get hit and possibly drag out the fight even longer by trying to get someone up.

the ashholes from exandria unlimited is a great example of a control party. i count half of their encounters which they’ve been able to wriggle out of without killing their opponents. their liberal use of charm spells, high charisma, and just flat out out of the box thinking (they flipped a fucking crocodile!!) has saved their bacon so many times. during unavoidable combat, they have struggled a little bit, but they’re a low level party to begin with so struggle is expected. all the casters appear to be offensively geared with dariax and fearne having prepped utility on the side. even so, that control vibe still permeates the party; dorian’s most clutch move was that dissonant whispers on mister, which he cast not to harm mister but force him to move away from the rune that transformed and powered him, thus ending the combat.

and finally we have the mighty nein, the cockroach party. we’ll get into the hows and whys later, for now, cockroach parties are built on three major founding principles: action economy, mindset, and versatility. action economy is king in dnd. pcs get an action, bonus action, and reaction per turn. having turns each round is critical to a dnd party's ability to overcome the enemy and the more turns you have compared to your opponent, the better. for large parties, that is a sizable advantage over enemy monsters, which is why even low level monsters are packing multi-attacks, decent ac, and/or good solid hit points. more members means more attacks the creature(s) needs to take and focused fire adds up fast, even at low levels. for example, kylre had about 90 hp and was dead in three rounds, with fjord alone dealing 64 points of that damage. yeah. want to know why mid to high level monsters have legendary actions and resists? action economy. want to know why some silly min-max number crunchers think that cleric healing is severely under-powered? action economy. laura's assessment of healing, that it is better to damage the enemy and only heal to bring people up to make sure they get their turn, is a solid, reasonable assessment of the economy, especially when it comes to the cleric spell slot economy which I elaborated on here.

so, in light of the action economy, let's talk about the cockroach mindset. the cockroach party doesn’t ask ‘how do we beat this opponent’, it asks ‘how do we outlast this opponent.’ it’s a subtle difference in combat focus but an important one. survival of the party is the cockroach’s top priority and all members go into the encounter with that priority in mind. the players aren’t focused on the survival of their character, however, they are focused on giving their party another round to act. they give themselves room to breathe. whether that is stunning the enemy completely, whether it's lowering the enemy's attacking ability, whether it's giving a party member an extra action, whether it’s bringing someone up from unconsciousness, those methods combine with damage generation to win an encounter. cockroach parties don't rely on damage output to keep themselves safe, they rely on their own ability to survive and support their team. 

which brings us to versatility. cockroach parties tend to have a wide array of skills at their disposal and aren’t afraid to use them. while they have solid support roles, casters are not the only ones who can bring utility to a party. just ask beau. just ask yasha as she flew caleb out of danger in the first lucien fight. heck, just ask orym and his swip swap battle flop. or damian and the owlbear from the darrington brigade. cockroach parties, more than control and glass cannon parties, prefer to have a wide range of options available to them. the more tricks up your sleeve, the more likely you are to have something to deal with whatever the dm throws at you. marine layer, anyone? at the same time, the party also uses this wide array to have multiple ways to handle the same problem. jester is the backup stealth scout and teleporter. fjord is the emt, able to remove and heal injured party members if caduceus or jester cannot. caleb is the backup backup cleric with polymorph. veth can also stun/incapacitate enemies with her spells. caduceus is the backup backup tank and battlefield control via his shield of retribution and spirit guardians to beau and jester.

these three tricks combine into one inescapable reality: there is no one better or obvious target to take out. the entire party is one giant interlocking trap; break one and the others will reinforce the weak point and make you pay for the effort.

(incidentally, the cockroach approach is so ingrained in the cast that the vm side of the battle royale didn’t play with the urgency the vm playbook requires and that, more than anything, screwed them over. but that’s a different post.)

tune in next time for a break down of how, when, and why the nein went from glass cannon to cockroach because it is a fascinating ride.

[thewritingginger]

AoT Boys - Preferences

This is something... I have nothing else to say about it lol

Also it may be a bit all over the place idk 

Fandom: Attack on Titan Characters: Reiner Braun, Armin Arlert, Eren Yeager & Jean Kirstein Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI, Fem! Bodied Reader, Mentions of sex, Swearing, lot of boob, ass, & thigh talk, also switches b/w saying s/o and you I'm a mess :)

 Enjoy ~

Reiner

Reiner is a simple man that loves dem tiddies!

Big or little doesn't matter

Man has giant hands and if it fits it ships

“You fit so perfectly in my hands.”

Loves to lay on your chest - #LittleSpoonReiner

When he had a particularly rough day all he wants to do is nizzle into your chest and breathe in your scent

Likes to massage them over your clothes when y’all make out

Can’t keep his mouth off of them, licking and biting them as he also plays with your nipples

He may give them a few smacks here and there if that's the mood 😉

Honestly would so happy to just play with your chest and nothing else, especially if you really like it

Likes when his s/o rides him - not only cuz it gives them more control of the pacing but also bc he gets a full view of their breasts

If you want to make this man nearly combust send him a saucy pic while he’s out/at work and can’t get to you

Man is weak for some lacy lingerie - really likes pastels and white (to him if makes it almost feel naughtier cuz of how sweet it looks)

“I was thinking of wearing this to our date tonight, do you like it? 😇” - w/ a mirror pic of you in a matching lacy set, wearing one of his large button up shirts and make sure you put your hand on your cheek sweetly, pressing your breasts together

He would call you so fast!

“Sweetheart, I am at work! Please-”

“And change of plans, instead of going out Imma need you to be on that bed when I get home tonight because we will not be leaving that room till you’re completely fucked out.”

Really likes clothed sex - why would he just rip of that pretty lingerie you put on for him when he can continue to enjoy it on your beautiful body while he rails you?!

He just overall enjoys seeing and feeling your chest and bonus points for it also feeling good for you though he doesn’t really touch them w/o your permission/ when y’all are getting it on

However, in his sleep his hand can become a bit of a wanderer

So he is a perv but not so outwardly so

Really likes lacy or mesh shirts where can see your bra/bralette  - though sometimes it can make him feel some type of way

“Beautiful, I always love what you wear but you gotta stop doing this to me, my heart can’t take it.”

Man just melts for you! ok?! 

Armin

Armin is a Thigh Man! and I will die on this hill!!!

He loves to hold and squeeze them - in both sexual & non-sexual situations

Laying on them is prime time for him, he may even leave a few sleepy kisses behind before falling asleep on them

Also Thigh fucking is his jam!! And you can’t convince me otherwise

Not only does he love the feeling of your thighs jerking him off but also it’s about that teasing he loves to give his s/o

May even taunt them about it

“You like feeling my cock slide between your thighs?”

“My Angel wishes they had my cock inside them, huh.”

He also just generally loves kissing, licking and biting your thighs, he likes to take his time especially when he is about to go down on you

He likes to have his hand on his s/o’s thigh while sitting next to them, whether at home or out for lunch with friends - not necessarily in a sexual way well… unless you want him to 😉

Want to make him excited? Wear some thigh high stockings

If you are wearing a skirt and at some point in the day you lift the hem to show the garter strap holding up your stocking he’ll let out a little low hum of approval and needs to get his hands on you soon 

That also goes for if you want to send him a little pic in the day to show you miss him just a little

“Thinking of you bb 🥰” - w/ a picture of your skirt raised or just in a pair of cute panties while sat on your knees with your thighs pressed together would do the trick

He would blush a little at the initial shock -especially if around others-  but would be quick to excuse himself before responding

“You’re so beautiful, when I get home I’m gonna spread those pretty thighs open and have you screaming for me.”

Boy really likes not only shear tights but also fishnets

Whether you wear them under a skirt/dress or under distressed jeans and it peeks through holes and over the top he’s in for it

Has 10000% had sex with a pair of fishnets on - the ones with the extra large holes that he can fit his dick through - yes ma’am

Also just plain old ripping them open so make sure you don’t spend a lot of money of your tights cuz they might not last too long oop

Eren

Also a Boobie Man!

Whether he is just chillin on the couch watching t.v. with his s/o or making out and getting down to business, his hand somehow always finds its way to a boob

He will just put his arm around your shoulder and snake his hand down the collar of your shirt and just cup it - maybe will begin to give a few squeezes here and there mf treating it like a stress ball smh

Will motor boat you - he doesn’t care if there isn't much to your chest either cuz he will go for it anyway

If he is having sex in missionary best believe both his palms would be kneaded his s/o’s breasts

Or if from behind he will lean over and wrap his arm around their front to hold them

But lets need not forget the tiddie bounce when his s/o rides him

So many choices baby boy doesn’t know which one he likes best 🤔

Loves some tiddie-fucking

And cumming on dem boobies as well

“You look so good with my cum drippin down your tits.”

This bitch will be at work and ask for nudes smh

Of course he wants boobie pics - loves when you are topless and holding your breasts with your hands or simply just your cleavage down your shirt

“You’re always so good to me Babygirl. I’ll see you when I get home 😉”

Likes when you wear revealing tops

Of course he’ll about throw hands if someone's gaze stays a bit too long but he is proud of his baby and knows they are beautiful

Eren, unlike Reiner, is more outwardly pervy

Always encourages you not to wear a bra

“Your nipples are so cute, why wouldn’t you want to show them.”

Also you know he aint afraid to stare and when you catch him he’ll just give you a wink and a cocky smirk

Jean

Bonafide Booty Man!

Like Reiner, the size doesn’t matter!

Big or little - if he can grab he can vibe with it

This boy always has his hand on the butt any chance he gets

Cuddle Time? His hand will rubb and hold the booty

When y’all are making out? You best believe he’ll pull you real close and squeeze your ass

So safe to say that taking his s/o from behind is great booty access

Also reverse Cowgirl is a nice view as well

“Fuck, I love seeing your ass bounce on my cock.”

Loves to squeeze, jiggle and spank your butt

Also kissing and biting the cheeks are a yes in his book

Likes to bend over his s/o and go down on them from behind, having is tongue covered in their taste as his hands grope and smack their ass - sign him up

Likes days in at home with you, especially if you opt out of wearing pants - Pants are always optional in his household  😉

If he sees cheeks he’s a happy man

Expect to get little booty love taps &/or pinches while around him - mostly when it’s just you two at  home

If you want to fluster him a bit give his ass a little smack/squeeze of your own 

Likes when you send him pics but when he’s at work? He’ll have to breathe for a minute and leave the room if others are around

“Baby, should I get these?” - w/ a pic in a dressing room wearing a silky “pajama” short set that leaves little to the imagination; booty on full display of course

“Yes! 😍😍😍”

“My sweet girl, I want to see you in that when I get home.”

Big fan of leggings and high waisted pants on his s/o - all about extenuating that booty

Just tight pants in general tbh

If you ever come out in a little number and the booty is poppin he’ll grab your hand and make you do a little spin for him to get a full 360 view

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Hope you liked that! Want more? Let me know. 

My requests are open for both regular and Kinktober - Make sure you read my guidelines :3

💛 ~

[indelicateink]

excellent points. (thanks so much for sharing your thoughts on this; I’m terribly curious for perspective, but worried it’s kind of an incendiary question to put out there.)

see, I so agree—I feel like louis does have romantic feelings. and he’s afraid of his romantic feelings/being hurt again. for most of this season I was looking at them through the lens of “well, I mean. they’re loumand. it’s an otp, it’s fine.” I was coming at it from a book angle (where to me it felt like louis was more unambiguously smitten with armand, and that blinded him to other things), and assumed that they would simply be in love.

but during a rewatch I started to get unnerved, watching it all at once? I was getting bad-touch report-this-to-HR vibes. I’d forgotten how much the tunnel was some freaky shit—louis looked genuinely repelled and/or ready for death.

lol, totally agree abt louis shying away from the “companions” label. some hilariously primo fuckboy behavior; but reads as (legitimate) fear of being intimate again. which he sees as a possibility, bc on some level he recognizes he cares for armand. (hence all his mental self-protective dreamstat snark.)

the street scene outside louis’s apartment is wildly complex to me, I’m honestly open to a million interpretations, myself. Is he reading that the powerful vampire who just threatened him and Claudia with death is sexually interested in him, and louis has zero hesitancy at securing that interest to protect her? Is he so suicidal that the death threat was something he totally brushed off like “hey, it’s just a tuesday,” and was instead sexually attracted to Armand per that reveal of Armand being a connection to the dead ex Louis is fixated on? Is it that he already had sexual chemistry with Armand, and the death threat just makes this spicy as hell, because we know louis loves danger? And I can see how, as you say, Armand not following through on his threat could feel like Armand is not a danger.

Me, I kind of feel like, on some level, Louis believed Claudia when she told him Armand used Lestat’s murder against her. I’m not sure he didn’t think maybe she misunderstood (yet that *something* still happened), but I got the vibe that after that argument, something turned over in him. He packed away dreamstat after years of him, and got super serious about committing to Armand and the TdV. He put on a different persona and shifted into a more dominant role with Armand (which, on a level Louis is unaware of, is hollow, AAAAA), and I felt that was him picking up that this very powerful person was actually privately very vulnerable, and yearned for a partner to turn control over to—and Louis could give that to him to make them closer.

What’s sad to me is Louis buying into Armand’s narrative that Armand has become more and more toothless at the TdV (lol no pun intended), and that it’s Louis’s fault. Louis even trying to game out some manipulations of his own (tricking Santiago into “taking over and failing”), is just…so humiliating, his earnest desire to bring his expertise to bear on this and win the day. But all that to say…trying to make things smooth at TdV after his argument with Claudia made me feel he knew on some level Claudia was in danger.

When I commit to Louis feeling secure in Armand’s lack of danger to him (which I feel Louis would only care about in the sense that Louis needs to be alive to protect Claudia; Louis doesn’t particularly care about his own safety) (and Louis ofc does know Armand’s smitten, but ofc also knows smitten people can be dangerous), I learn toward him seeing Armand as protection against the dangerous TdV. They all put on a good show about TdV having danger in its numbers, but Armand is the longtime leader and can send all of them crashing head-first into a restaurant table when he gets angry. But yeah…by the time Madeleine and Claudia’s departure come around it sort of moves out of the scope of my question (I’m curious about those early mixed messages & murky motivations). I will be studying these guys under my loupe like a diamond for some time I suspect, haha

Poll: how consensual was 1940s loumand?

okay. i am getting some mixed messages from the show and some posts, so i'm really curious where we kinda stand on this?

How consensual do you feel AMC IWTV Louis x Armand is in 1940s Paris? Does Louis feel obligated to be in a relationship to protect Claudia and himself (whether from Armand, the TdV, or both)?

I'm not dissing loumand here--I'm genuinely curious how to read this.

Things that make me question how much pressure Louis feels:

In the tunnel Armand acts like he's going to kill Louis and threatens Claudia's life--and then Armand doesn't kill him, and then Louis proceeds to invite Armand up to his place for sex.

Louis seems lackluster in his commitment to his relationship with Armand: he embarrasses him in front of TdV by not confirming they're companions; tells Armand he's ambivalent about defining their relationship; Armand complains Louis doesn't spend as much time with him at the theatre as he'd like.

Claudia tells Louis that Armand threatened her regarding Lestat's murder. Louis immediately thereafter ends dreamstat and proceeds to have a conversation with Armand in which he says he will step up at the theatre, and initiates a D/s relationship with Armand.

Louis seems to feel he needs to manipulate Armand into Madeleine's turning. "You think you're happy with me now? Can you imagine me without the burden of her?" [Claudia, laughing later: "Without the burden of me?" Louis: "I said it to get him through the door."]

So. Is louis putting his booty up for duty to protect claudia and himself--whether or not Louis feels he has power in this relationship or not?

Is louis down bad for this guy and feels no danger or obligation? Is it a mix?

(This just beyond the whole still-hung-up-on-Lestat issue/question, which adds too much complexity to this modest tumblr poll lol.)

But like. Armand is RIGHT THERE when Louis is relaying this to Daniel and not protesting, so. uh. No matter what power Louis might have felt he had [*cough*he was allowed to feel he had?*cough*], it uh. I mean it all feels kinda dark maybe?? y/n/idk??

*to protect Claudia (and himself) from Armand, the TdV, or both.

[pinkteapotwriting]

Fluffy: Sirius and reader getting into a little fight and then the two of them making up and having healthy coping, vibes kinda like the song anyone else but you specifically Sirius saying “I’m your biggest fan” so maybe the fight being about support and reader not believing in themself

Smutty: sleepy morning sex with Remus and Sirius

Wolfstar x Fem!reader

Warnings: Smut! Sex, just regular old sleepy morning sex. Sirius is more sub in this, but it’s not a dom relationship. Minors DNI please

Word count : 1041

---

He was entranced at the sight of his two lovers spooning beside him as he sat up. The morning light cascaded down on you and Sirius’s perfect features, illuminating all the things he loved, just like the way the moon had done the night before. He was completely dazzled until he snorted at the sight of Sirius cupping one of your breasts in his sleep. He was just about to pull away before you latched onto his wrist, ensuring his warmth could linger longer.

“Darling, I thought you were asleep. Do you want tea? I was about to make some.”

You just kept your eyes squinted shut as you shook your head. He pressed a kiss to your forehead, then your nose, (at this point you had your lips pursed and were whining as he kissed anywhere but your lips.) chin, cheeks.

You dared to open your eyes to compose the meanest glare you could muster but clearly he wasn’t afraid of your wrath and fury as he simply just laughed.

“What do you want precious, hmm?”

“Gimme a kiss.”

“I just gave you so many.”

You attempted to steal a kiss yourself and I say attempted because Sirius let out a soft moan into your ear that made both you and Remus freeze in your tracks. Remus raised his eyebrows while you gave your butt an experimental wiggle that had Sirius letting out a louder moan than before. Remus reached past your face to stroke Sirius’s to wake him. 

“Pads love, you alright there?”

His eyelids fluttered open and  he realized how closely pressed he was to you and whimpered. You turned around quickly and started planting kisses to help ease his troubled expression, but alas it only seemed to make him more desperate. He pulled your leg over his hip and rolled so you were now straddling him upright while he was on his back. You rubbed your hands down his bare chest as he tilted his head back in frustration.

“Siri baby, it’s okay. What do you need love? tell me.”

“Y/N I need you to ride me please, I need you so bad.”

 You quickly removed your underwear and slipped off his boxers. His cock looked red and swollen, precum already leaking from the tip.

“Y/N please.”

“Patience pads.” Remus intercepted.

In his state you didn’t want to tease him any longer so you sank down on him as he sighed in release. He bunched up the bottom of your (his) shirt and tugged so your lips could reach his, but he quickly started whining again.

“What baby, what is it now.”

He just reached out to Remus with his hand, while urging you to bounce with the other. Remus gave his hand willingly thinking Sirius just wanted to hold it, but a shot of pleasure and desire went straight to his dick when Sirius instead led his fingers into his mouth.

“Fuck Pads, that’s one of Y/Ns tricks, and we both know how that ends right?”

Sirius just nodded still sucking on his fingers, while Remus reached over to the bedside table to grab some lube.

He pulled his fingers away from Sirius so your tongue could replace them.

“Kay Sirius, spread your legs for me a bit.”

As soon as Sirius did what he was told Remus was rubbing lube over his tight hole, which made Sirius jump at the contact, which made you start to grind into him harder. If Sirius was close before, the feeling of Remus’s fingers inside him only brought him closer. You tangled your fingers in the raven locks beneath you, completely enamored with the perfect friction Remus was helping to create. 

“Y/N, Sirius stay still for a second I think he’s ready for my cock now.”

Sirius nodded eagerly while on his knees Remus hooked Sirius’s legs over his thighs so he could get easier access. Sirius gripped your hips tighter and tighter each time Remus moved in a new inch. Finally when he was fully sheathed he gripped your waist to pull your back to his chest to anchoring himself to the perfect reality that he could call his. You gripped his hands and led them to your breasts sending a clear message, and he took the hint. 

“Moony, please.”

Remus peered over your shoulder to gaze down at the beautiful man before him. 

“I got you love.”

Finally he started moving, thrusting slow but powerfully. His arms kept you pressed to his chest as he kissed with purpose against your neck. Sirius had already been so worked up, so he was a writhing mess beneath you, completely blissful. Not too much of a mess however, to place his palm on your inner thigh so his thumb could circle your clit. You threw your head back in ecstasy, and the feeling of Remus’s breath spanning across your chest only had you feeling much more sensitive.

“Y/N please cum, need to feel you cum on my cock.”

In sync with Remus he started to thrust into you harder, robbing the air from your lungs. Remus kept you supported as your thighs started to quiver.

“Fuck that’s it Y/N, you feel so good I’m gonna cum too.”

He thrusted one more time before painting your insides with his release. Remus wasn’t giving him the chance to recover, however as he pushed you down so you were pressed firmly against Sirius’s chest. He splayed his palms on your back to support his weight, so he could thrust with more vigor than before. You soothed Sirius by stroking his jawline and pressing kisses to his forehead, just knowing how sensitive he would be considering he was still inside you as Remus was ramming into him mercilessly.

“You’re doing so good Siri, taking his cock so well love.”

“That’s right, course he does, I fit perfectly.” He growled as his orgasm approached quickly. His hands rested over then squeezed Sirius’s that were still holding on to your hips for dear life before collapsing on his back. Remus watched as you lifted off Sirius, loving the sight of his cum pouring out from your wet heat back onto Sirius’s abdomen. 

What a perfect way to start the day.

---

LOL of course I chose the smutty one, even though the other one was a great idea too. This was the last winner for my 200 celebration <333

@sunny-bunnny @quindolyn @weasleyposts @bluemoonyblurbs

[ssplague]

Chapter 0ne

“And so it begins”

Katsuki B. X Reader

Rated M

Warnings: Gaslighting, manipulation, power play, light degradation

The day before the two of you left for UA; Your best friend gave her word to your mother that she would always look after you. Now that the two of you are in your third year she’s officially FED UP with your attitude and childish antics. Mentioning her dilemma to your shared group of friends results in the most unlikely person offering to be her solution to the problem that is YOU.

A/N: The girl in the banner is NOT how the reader is “supposed” to look, it was just a drawing I did specifically for this. You look however you want to, I don’t really make any specific references to your appearance in this story.

🌅

Its Saturday morning; Ive been awake for about five minutes now, but I’m not ready to open my eyes and embrace the conscious world just yet. Hearing the door of my room unlock and open does the trick though. Only one person (other than myself of course) has a key to my dorm room.

“I made breakfast for the both of us, its your favorite” announces Euphie as she walks in, kicking the door shut behind her. I sit up, just as she’s pushing my black out curtains to the side I let out a hiss of disdain as sunlight immediately begins to permeate the room.

“Thank you Euphie” I say with a yawn.

She hands me a plate before settling down on my bed, acknowledging my thanks with a nod as we both tuck in.

“We have plans this afternoon, can you be ready by at least 12:30? No need to get super made up but at least out of your pajamas?” Euphies voice is gentle, but I catch the underlying “I’m not asking, but telling you” vibe she tries to hide.

“For sure”

She smiles at my seemingly agreeable mood so early in the morning and we easily segway into our standard start of the day discussions. “Are we um…Are we going to be busy all day? I….I kinda planned on going to hangout with-“ Euphie cuts me off as she picks up our plates: “No worries you’ll have plenty of time for that, I promise!” Giving me a wink before shutting my door.

She didn’t even know who I was referring to, or what I was going to say….

At 12:55 Euphie reappears to rush me out of my room.

“Hey I forgot my purse I-“

“Don’t need it”

“But my wallet is-“

“Not necessary”

Her tone is clipped, and she has a death grip on my wrist as she quite literally drags me down the hallway. Initially I was taken aback, not being used to receiving this type of treatment from her. My bearings have started returning along with growing frustration each time one of my questions are receiving one word answers, or met with a complete dismissal. Reaching my limit I fail to notice that she’d began to slow down, and I’m wrenching my wrist free of her grip at the exact same time she’d come to a stop.

“What in the fuck is your problem?! You told me that we had plans to go out this afternoon, and you’d treat me to whatever I want!

This-“ I’m interrupted again.

“I certainly wouldn’t do anything for a fuckin’ brat throwing a tantrum like this”

My eyes snap to the side where I see the irritated scowl of one Katsuki Bakugou, as he leans against his door frame glowering at me. Embarrassment further fuels my anger as I turn toward him, pointing an acusatory finger as I begin “No one fucking asked you, stay out of it Katsu-“.

Kirishima suddenly emerges from Bakugo’s room, giving Euphie an enthusastic greeting

“Hey there! You look nice, ready to head out?”. The red head is flashing his signature shark toothed grip at my best friend as he offers her his arm. “You know it” she giggles, taking hold of his muscular bicep. The two of them start to walk off, confused and furious I start to head after them, but a large hand grips my shoulder grounding me in place.

“Bakugo told me he wouldn’t mind keeping an eye on you while Kiri and I went out this afternoon, this way you’ll stay out of trouble and get to keep the plans you’d made with him, bye!” The closing elevator doors add a sudden finalization to her brief explanation.

“Plans?” Bakugo questions while uncermoniously yanking me backwards.

I stumble back, falling through the doorway and landing flat on my ass in front of the now closed door (Which he is standing in front of). Glaring up at him as he continues: “She must have me confused with the local brothel, because thats the only place I’d imagine wearing a skirt as short as that would be deemed appropriate”. His insult doesn’t deter his crimson eyes from roaming the length of my body, lingering on the aforementioned skirt. Getting to my feet, he walks around me and move towards his desk, taking a seat behind it.

“Oh fuck you Katsuki, you can be a real dick sometimes, I dunno what stupid Euphie told you about keeping and eye on me, but I dont need a fucking baby sitter! So ill be off now” with a huff you turn towards the door. “________, I’m not in the mood for bullshit today so just sit down and shut up” he growls, not turning to look at you. He always feels embarrassingly giddy when you adress him by his first name, thats why he insisted you call him by it. That in itself should be an indication of how he seems to favor you.

It makes him almost feel a bit guilty for using a harsh tone when he’d spoken to you. Despite how he treats others, Katsuki is hardly ever outright mean to you; He’s never even given you a derogatory nickname like he has for everyone else. Today’s an off day though…He’s just not used to running on little to no sleep. That paired with his already non existent level of patience makes for a blow up. Especially when YOU were the cause of his latest bout of insomnia….turning to look at you has his thoughts beginning to wander.

Those lips of yours flapping away as you berate him…

They sure would look a helluva lot better wrapped around his-

“-Not even fucking listening to me are you?!” You snarl, starting towards the door again. “I cant believe I woke up this morning wanting to hangout with YOU, guess I’ll change my plans and hangout with someone not so shitty to me…. Like Deku!” A loud crash comes from behind you. The now enraged man had stood up so abruptly, it sent his now vacated chair careening into the wall and toppling over.

“You really just cant help yourself can you?”

His voice is so eerily quiet as he turns to face you, something unidentifiable flashes in his rapidly darkening crimson orbs. You couldn’t exactly identify it, considering it disappeared as abruptly as it had originally came.

“Course you cant, I already know that”

A menacing smile appears on his face as he takes his first step toward you, immediately triggering your natural “Fight or flight” response.

“I know what you need”

He’s only an arms length away when you start to step back.

“You dont know shit”

You somehow summon the courage to speak, but are unable to summon any false bravado to keep you from betraying how unnerved he’s got you feeling as he takes another step.

“I know that your best friend cant stand what a spoiled fuckin’ brat you’ve become, I know she’s so fed up with your shit that she’s about to write you off completely”

The defiant expression you’d worn all this time finally starts to falter.

This marks the first time Katsuki has ever seen how you look when your confidence begins to ebb away, only to be replaced with a mixture of uncertainty and fear.

His sadistic side emerges with glee as your now saddened doe eyes meet his.

“You’re constantly disregarding everyone’s opinion of you unless it aligns with your own, but you dont even know what to think of yourself now that your faced with the possibility of being alone now…do you?

You remain silent, taking yet another step back as he continues speaking.

“You need someone who isn’t afraid to correct you, but they’ll have to of earned your respect….So when you inevitably step out of line, you wont put up a fight when you get put over their knee”

Your back hits the wall.

You swallow down the panic that slowly begun to rise from your chest up into your throat as you realize there is nowhere left for you to go.

“You desperately want to be a good girl, just dont know how to be one, huh princess?”

It’s so adorable the way your bottom lip juts out, but at the first quiver it quickly gets sucked between your teeth.

“That’s why you’re acting out right now isn’t it?

I bet you drench your cute little panties every time you get a rise out of me. Always hoping that its going to be the time I yank you the fuck up and put this brat in her goddamn place, hah?”

You shamelessly lean into the large hand thats now cupping your cheek, letting out a sigh as his thumb caresses your soft skin.

“Mhmmm”

It’s horrifying how easily you just admitted your most guarded secret! The triumphant smirk he sports makes it even harder to accept.

His tone is surprisingly gentle when he starts addressing you once again;

“I can do that for you baby….Let me be the one that finally brings the princess down on her knees”.

Your eyes are practically sparkling at the feel of a sudden pressure being applied to your throat. His calloused fingers squeezing the delicate skin of your neck, effectively making it harder and harder for you to breathe. The thrill of this foreign feeling is instantly addicting.

“Tell me if thats what you want: If its not then shake your head and we never speak of this again”

Bakugo has to at least give the illusion that you have a choice in the matter. Even though its more than obvious that you need want this just as much as he does.

“I want it, I want you” your words come out in a breathy whisper as he releases his hold on your throat.

“I wanna hear you say it princess, what do you want me to do with you”

“I want…no I NEED you to….t-to make me into your good girl please…”

He gestures for you to continue, his raised brow implying you must be forgetting something.

“Please make me into your good girl….Daddy”

The pleading expression and twinge of desperation in your voice stirs something deep inside Bakugo. It was something akin to the last vestiges of some ancient seal had disappeared: The monster that it had rendered dormant had finally roused from its slumber, intent on wreaking havoc.

“You do understand that you’re mine now right ________? Every part of your being belongs solely to me”

Gorgeous ruby eyes scrutinize your face carefully, searching for a single trace of fear, uncertainty, or possible apprehension. All they found was admiration and girlish excitement, and this earned you a genuine smile from the almost always scowling young man.

“Yes, every part of me belongs to you now Katsuki”

“Better get used to this then”

Before you could inquire what he was referring to, he was kissing you.

❤️‍🔥

A/N: So concludes chapter one

Oh god I hope this is well received.

Should I get a tag list together? Is it too soon? If anyone would be interested leave a comment. SMUT in the next chapter, we’re moving faster here because let’s be honest; Smut is what all of us want! 💦

[supersizemeplz]

We Meet Again

Incubus!Erik Stevens x Black PlusSized Female

Another #supersizedfic Halloween fic. I know, I know. It isn’t October yet but I wanted this to jumpstart my writings for it. I definitely want to push out more creepy/scary fics around that month. Let’s call this practice. Also, I’m calling him an incubus but I’m not sure if he fits that category fully in this. Idk. Enjoy!

Song suggestion: Algorhythm by Childish Gambino

"Come on down to Moreen's Super Savin-" The commercial was clipped short as the screen went black. It had to be the millionth time it'd came on in the past two weeks and it was becoming repetitive. The young woman sat the remote on the glass coffee table before she stood. Her adoring pet took that as her cue to hop down as well and follow her owner close.

"How about a snack, Mina? We deserve that right?" She spoke to the puppy as if she'd reply. Well she kind of did with a bark and shake of her tail. Sierra made her way to the fridge and pulled open the freezer. Only to be met with ice trays and frozen meats. Frowning a bit, she looked down to her animal companion.

"Looks like we're out, mamas." Closing the door, she made her way to the dining room table. Grabbing her keys from atop a local Moreen's Super Savings ad paper. She took a quick look in the hallway mirror and made a quick 180 to head up the stairs to her bedroom. "I guess I need something to cover up, huh."

Keys jingled in a hurried dance as she moved, sounding along with the calmed patter of the loyal four little paws. Out of the bedroom once she'd grabbed a hoodie, through the hallway, and down the stairs. Sierra slipped her braids into a bun atop her head, adjusting the silk headband that protected her edges.

Turning to the eager little bichon frise at her feet, she squatted to talk to the puppy. Mina. "Mommy will be back, ok? I'll get us some snacks from the store." She chuckled as Mina barked her reply. With a soft head rub, Mina turned away satisfied as she went back to play with her toys.

Locking the door behind her, Sierra made her way to her car. She was craving vanilla wafers and ice cream. The wind was a bit chilly as she got further from the house, picking up just a little. Fall was slowly making its way and she was amped for the holidays to start rolling in.

With a soft close of the car door, her right index finger pressed the start button to bring the car to life. The time on the radio read twenty minutes until ten o'clock which was just enough time for her to make it before the store's closing. Once she'd set the radio to a slow R&B jam, she was on her way.

A quick ten minute ride was all it took to reach the store since traffic was basically non-existent. Weird but not impossible. She pulled into the nearly empty parking lot without a second thought and turned off the car. "Out and in, two minutes." The words were a mumble as they left her lips, more so a reminder that the store would close soon and she needed not to slow poke.

"Welcome to Moreen's Super Savings." A lone cashier spoke to her as soon as she entered. She smiled with a polite greeting in reply before heading off to the frozen section. Her house shoes made little noise as she found the ice cream selection with ease. A glance to her watch showed she had eight minutes until closing. She had to hurry.

"Hi, how are you?" Her southern hospitality showed as she passed a man that occupied the aisle as well. Not really paying attention to any of his details. Her mission was ice cream, not a man. He gave a polite smile and simple reply, looking over to her once he heard her voice. From her quick glance, she could see his hands were empty though he seemed to be looking for a frozen dessert as well.

The moment between them came and went as she began her quick search once again. "Ah-ha." She spoke the small victory, grabbing the last personal sized vanilla blue bell pint. "Now to the cookies and then something for Mina." With a quick stride she went over two aisles to find the large variety of cookies.

Squatting down to look at the vanilla wafers on the bottom shelf, she saw someone standing at the end of the aisle out of her peripheral. She thought nothing of that as well until a weird feeling fell over her. And the figure was still there. Raising a brow, she looked over to where the figured stood. Or where it should've been. No one was there.

"Hmm." She gave a quick hum of confusion as she stood from her current position. With her choice of cookies in hand. Her head turned both ways to see if she was just imagining things and after seeing that no one was really there, she decided she was. A quick shoulder shrug ended the paranoid thought and she went on her way to get her last items. Coming to the end of the aisle, she stopped to look for the overhead sign to direct her to the pet aisle. Moreen's was kind of new to the town and she had only been here a total of three times, including now.

"Household, paper products, pets." She began her lengthy walk across the store, passing three aisles before she noticed that someone was mirroring her from the other end of the aisles. It could be ignored and pushed aside as a coincidence until she stopped to pretend that her sock needed adjusting. Only for the figure at the other end to stop as well. "What the hell?" She stood quickly to see who was the asshole sending her paranoia through the roof. She knew this store gave off weird vibes. Just as she looked up to see his face, the store went dark and its usual cheery pop songs went silent.

Her gasp was caught in her throat as her grip tightened on the old container of ice cream. She didn't even register the thought of it slowly attempting to escape its containment. Those big brown eyes of hers kept looking to the spot where the man had stood before the power cut.

"Shit." A short curse left her lips as the once frozen dessert made a mess of her hand. Giving one last glance to the spot, she slowly stepped backwards towards the registers before hurrying to it. Her eyes darted around the area to make sure she was still alone as she attempted to rid her hands of the sticky sweet. "There is no way they closed this damn store with me still inside. The cashier literally spoke to me when I walked in the door."

The door.

Sierra discarded the paper towel that was little help as she looked to the large glass double doors. Her exit. She almost scolded herself for getting so worked up, letting her fear of being in the dark affect her sense. Putting pep in her step, she made her way to the door with a quickness. A quick tug to the handle was supposed to ease her heart rate but it sent it soaring. Locked? Why in the hell is it locked? Oh no. She was trapped here, in the dark with her paranoia. Her back turned to press against the doors. "I just had to watch those damn scary movies today."

The dark aisles seemed to mock her as she scanned across them as quick as she could from where she stood. The light that came in from the windows of the store front could only reach so far. With a shivering hand, she fumbled to pull her phone from her pockets. "No, no, no!" She whisper yelled, holding the side buttons to try and make the screen come to life. Only to be met with the screen that told her that her phone was dead. "You were just on fifty percent. How the fuck could you be dead?"

A loud thud from her left caught her off guard, causing her to tense up and her phone to fall to the ground with a soft clap. She looked frantically to the direction of the noise as it's echo sent chills over her. "H-Hello?" Her words stuttered out as she slowly bent to pick up your phone. Maybe it's an employee? "I think you guys locked me in by accident.."

Still like a tree planted by the water, she didn't move. No one answered her call but she had an eerie feeling that she wasn't alone. "Come on, girl. You're stronger than this, remember what Dr. Hamina said.. Fears are nothing more than a state of mind. You're ok." Finally pulling her feet from the invisible glue that held them, she took a slow step forward. "There has to be an emergency door around here somewhere."

In the distance, just barely behind a faraway aisle, those four familiar red letters caught her eyes. "Exit." Hope sparked in her mind and she was happy to know there was another way out. The trick now was getting to the other side without being caught by the man that lurked in the shadows.

As if he'd known she'd thought of him, his voice surrounded her like a cloud. "Sierraaa. Don't be afraid of me, beautiful.." A sudden, single light cut on in the center of the aisles. Close enough to the back that she was directly across the supermarket from him. The soft buzz of the light could faintly be heard from where she stood. She squeezed her phone this time to cope with the fear piercing her as she took another step backwards towards the door.

"How do you know my name? W-Who are you?" She couldn't hide her fear if she wanted to. The waver of her voice gave it away and she hated that it. Because he chuckled at her. His back was to her and she could just make out him looking over his shoulder back at her. In an instant, the light cut out and it was darkness again before a different light popped on. This one was closer than the last but she still couldn't make him out fully. It was only his clothes that gave away his identity as the man that she'd spoken to on the ice cream aisle when she'd came in earlier.

"You don't remember me, sweetness?" He pretended to be offended, finally turning to reveal his face before the lights turned off. It popping back on with him closer. "All the nights we spent together during your college years, just as you were finding yourself. The nights we spent together.. in your dreams, sweetness." That name, that voice. That face.

"E-Erik?" His voice suddenly found its place in her mind. In those memories she'd locked away. "You're not real? H-How are you-? How did you-?"

She'd went through a weird patch in her early stages of youth and adulthood. Her grandmother had called it 'spirit soaring'. The gift ran through the women in her family, but she seemed to be the only one who couldn't keep her control of it. The first few times were innocent during her teen years with short trips around the home for just a minute. That soon crept up to her soul venturing around her neighborhood to see what night could bring. Snowballing into a faint obsession.

Her grandmother had warned her plenty times before of the addictions of her lucid dreaming. But she'd assured herself she could control it. Then she'd met Erik, the man of her dreams, literally. He'd resembled an actor she'd adored and that was his bait. Everything was perfect between the two until it would inch closer to her having to leave him. And he didn't like that, he wanted her company full time. He'd began to find ways to prolong her visits with him.

She began to notice that he wasn't under her control like everything else in her dreams. It honestly scared her. His demeanor changed and he became obsessed with her, finding ways to pull her under when she'd fall asleep. Passive aggressive and manipulating were his sudden traits. The last time she'd seen him ended with a scuffle. Scarring his left eye and her getting away by a hair.

"How I found you?" He spoke her thoughts, finally allowing her to see his face. That familiar scar was healed now. Making him look like a monster from some horror film. "I never lost you, sweetness. I've just waited patiently.. watching you from the shadows..." He took a step towards her, taking in the sweet scent of her fear. "Never..out of..reach."

The lights began to flicker and her adrenaline started pumping. Sierra began to rack her mind for an escape. The exit sign. It was the same escape route she'd use in her dreams long ago. Her feet started their movement before it fully registered in her mind. "Just make it to the door."

Erik's laughter filled the air around her, loud and mocking as she kept her quick pace. "You can run, but you can't hide. Escape is inevitable.." His words were chilling to hear. He really wanted her for himself.

The door seemed to be getting further away. Like she was running backwards. Tears began to gloss her eyes as she became weaker. Her legs were getting tired, but she pressed on. Just make it to the door. Still the door grew smaller with every attempt to reach it.

"Nooo!" Her knees hit the ground below her, meeting the cold tile floor. "It can't end like this.. Leave me ALONE!!" She screamed into the darkness. A last effort to fight her attacker.

The air was still once her echos silenced. Her eyes moved around as best they could in the darkness. The light above her popped on and the slow echo of footsteps in the darkness came towards her. She trembled where she sat, trying to crawl to the door as best she could.

Erik emerged from the darkness like a villain and stopped just before her. "When will you learn sweetness? Running will only tire you out.." He squatted before her, bringing a hand to her cheek to rid it of a stray tear. "Stay with me and we can spend this life together. Happily. Forever."

"This moment.." He spoke lowly, eyes glazed with lust. "I have been waiting for this moment for so long, my sweetness, to have you all to myself.." He rolled his shoulders as he hummed. "..And here we are. Alone, at last. Destined to be brought together as one."

Licking his lips, he held a smirk at the corner of his lips. "Isn't this what we once dreamed for? To be together forever?" His smile widened at her drooping eyes as they fought to stay open. "Well, I did. At least."

Her lips tried to speaks but all her energy was being drained. His voice began to sound distorted to her. She didn't want him to win this time. Have to..stay..awake. Darkness.

"Ma'am? Ma'am? Can you hear me?" The voice was far off in the darkness, barely audible. Sierra fought to make out the words on her mind. Please don't let him win. Her body wouldn't listen to her in her struggle. She screamed internally at herself to wake up, wanting whoever was trying to talk to her know that she could hear them. It seemed to take forever. "There you go. Breathe."

She had shot up to a seated position, breathing heavily and looking around to see if he was still there. Her eyes held worry as she was only met with two E.M.T. and a small group of employees in the distance. The female E.M.T gave an assuring smile to ease her nerves, though it didn't help much. Though it did calm her a little to see a friendly face. "An employee found you laying in the aisle, nearly unresponsive. So we're gonna take you to the hospital and make sure everything is okay. Are you alright with that, hunny?"

All Sierra could do was nod, needing to get out of this damned store. She'd never come back here, that was for damned sure. The medical duo eased her onto a stretcher and gave her a water for her throat. Since she hadn't uttered a word since she came to. "We'll do a few check ups in the truck on the way there. You just let me know if anything feels weird suddenly or hurts. Ok..."

Tears blurred Sierra's vision as she was lifted into the ambulance, listening to the distant sounds of the medical personnel that assured that she would be just fine. Her mouth didn't open and their words didn't register as she looked forward. Not directly looking to the group of employees that watched her being taken away, but more so to what was behind them where he stood. He was relaxed as he watched her with a smirk. His words rung off in her head as she noticed him vanish behind the passing of employees heading back inside. "Alone, at last. Destined to brought together as one.." She was stuck with him forever.

[juletheghoul]

Mysticus Chapter 1

Ezra x F!Reader Soulmates AU

I've had this idea bouncing around in my head for a while and after reading all of the AWESOME writing on this website and with some really lovely encouragement from some of my favourite people here I've decided to give it a go. Always open to constructive criticism!

Pairing: Ezra x F!Reader

Word Count: 1649K

Warnings: Language, tension? (Smut later on)

Literally my first fic, willing to tag if that's something you'd like!

Masterlist Chapter 2

--

“Stay away from Thomas”

The words were out of your mouth before your brain had a chance to stop you. Fuck. The girl you whose palm you held in your hands frowned.

“My date? Why?”

How. How did you always manage to shove your foot in it? You had been doing so well! A steady trickle of patrons to your admittedly shabby little stand. Okay, table with a glittery table cloth and a couple of folding chairs but nevermind that.

“Uhhh, yeah. I’m not sure why but I’m getting a really bad vibe. Is this your first date with him? Where is he?” You asked. You could feel the fear creeping in, like a drop of ice cold water that slides down your spine.

“It’s our first date, he’s grabbing us some food.” She responded, brow furrowed slightly, you could see she was having doubts about her safety.

“What kind of vibe are you getting?” The fact that she didn’t laugh you off right away let you know that she most likely wasn’t as comfortable as she should be on a date.

Your dog looked up at you from her place on the floor, seemingly interested in how you were going to explain yourself.

“Look, I don’t really know what to say I just feel like you should get away as fast as possible. I think you know what I mean, and I think you felt a little weird before you sat down.” You say plainly. You had broke your only rule. No bad news. You could feel her fear now, a wave of anxiety washing over the both of you all at once. In the corner of your peripheral you could see a handsome young man walking towards the both of you with food in both hands. Nothing particularly scary about him but you could feel the hackles raising on your normally silent dog. A low growl came from her direction and you put your hand on her head to calm her.

“There you a-“ he started but before he could say anything else the girl was up, dropping money on your table and hastily making a phone call.

“Sorry Thomas – my mom just called, there’s been an emergency and she’s on her way.”

He frowned. “I can drop you off-“

“No need, thanks for everything and hopefully we can do this again” she quickly called over her shoulder and then she was off.

He stood there for a few minutes dumbstruck. Then you saw something. A glint in his eye maybe? A trick of the lights flashing either from the rides or the games on the either side of your pathetic ‘booth’ and then it was gone. When he seemed to realize that you were sitting there, he gave you a smile and walked away. You shivered and noticed your dog was up and ready to pounce.

“It’s okay girl we’re good.” You reassured her and she once again took her place at your feet, but you noticed that she followed him with her eyes until he was out of sight. Fuck you really needed to work on thinking about what you said before you said it. At least she listened instead of telling you to fuck off, little victories.

“What do you say girl, think it’s time to go?” The dogs ears perked up as you scratched behind one, she responded by standing, her signal for yes. You grabbed the box you had stashed under the little table and started putting your makeshift booth away. The sign which read palm readings $5, the table cloth and the can with your earnings for the night. Slipping the end of the dogs leash around your wrist you folded up the table and chairs and stacked everything neatly and made your way to your Jeep. Tomorrow will be better.

Next day

Carnivals had always freaked you out. A lot of places that were supposed to be fun and whimsical freaked you out. You weren’t entirely sure what it was about these places but it made your skin crawl. The music playing gave you the creeps, the smiles of the people around you seemed wild rather than happy. There was a feeling of something bigger underneath it all, something hungry. Predatory. Patient.

It was a last resort in order to make some quick money with your palm readings, but it always seemed like you were walking into the jaws of some huge monster when entering the grounds.

The dog made you feel better. You had found her in a shelter a couple of years ago and had instantly bonded with her. The staff had told you that she’d been in there for a while since she was notoriously unfriendly but she seemed to tolerate you. You suited each other. What they took as unfriendly, you understood as selective, which was fine. You were selective too. You’d had to make a little sign saying please do not pet the dog but it was a small price to pay for her companionship. She - much like you - was an excellent judge of character.

You spotted a group of teenage girls eyeing your booth, and you perked up. Tried to turn on the charm as it were, usually teenage girls were your best customers. You were usually really good with them and these girls were just what you needed to reach your goal for the night. You smiled along and told them just what they wanted to hear, and seeing them walk away giggling with a spring in their step made you happy. That and the cash you were putting into your coffee can.

Just then you felt it. Something prickling at your skin, like static before a rainstorm. Blood rushed to your ears and it seemed like everything was somehow louder. Something in the pit of your stomach was roiling and you were afraid you might throw up when someone approached your table.

He smiled an easy smile but it held something in it, something that said he knew something secret and you weren’t in on it. You weren’t sure if it intrigued you or scared you. You looked over expecting the dog to growl but she was calm, sitting quietly by your feet. Okay. Weird. She usually didn’t like anyone except you and the occasional small child. She usually hated men in fact but no reaction. It was throwing you off a bit if you were honest but all of a sudden he was speaking to you and you felt like you could barely focus.

“Well birdie, seems like you’ve utterly captured my attention and I simply must know what knowledge you can ascertain from my palm.” He smiled and sat down.

You blinked. What the hell was going? Why did your skin feel feverish? Why wasn’t the dog freaking out like she usually did? Why aren’t you answering?

He patiently waited with his palm upturned and you tried to get your shit together as you slowly reached over and took his hand. He was handsome sure, but never had you been rendered so speechless by anyone before. His rich brown eyes bore into you as you traced the lines in his hand.

“You’re going to meet the love of your life.”

He raised an eyebrow.

“Now that’s interesting, I don’t suppose you’d be able to go into specifics about how or when this fateful meeting is to occur?”

You watched his mouth as he spoke, and he noticed. Curling it into the same secret smile from earlier and you felt the blood rushing to your face. His eyes crinkled when his smile deepened it took everything in you not to smile back at him.

You noticed the blonde birthmark and for a moment you had the wild urge to run your fingers through it. You quickly suppressed that while clearing your throat.

“I don’t have a time and date for you but it’ll be real soon.” You looked back down at his palm and noticed something. There was a little mark. Nothing crazy but aside from yourself, you’d never met anyone else with the same mark on their palm. You tried very hard to keep your breathing in check.

“Is this a scar?” You asked as casually as you could manage.

“That particular mark as afflicted me since birth, curious is it not?” He asked with a tilt of his head. His drawl a little more pronounced. Is it getting hotter?

“Somewhat-“

“Has anyone ever had the privilege of reading the no doubt fantastic future in your palm birdie?”

“That’s the second time you’ve called me that” you responded focusing on the pet name he’d given you.

“It suits you, I ask again- has anyone ever been fortunate enough to read your palm?”

“No.” You responded flatly, reluctantly releasing his hand and sitting back in your chair. He stated back at you and it felt as though he was looking through you, you felt curiously naked.

“As enchanted as I am basking in your presence, I unfortunately must depart. Will you be offering your palmistry services tomorrow night? I should like to see you again birdie.”

“Uhh.. yes, I’ll be back tomorrow.” You’re not even sure why you said that, you were planning on leaving town tonight.

“Wonderful, until we meet again birdie.” He rose smiling, he took your hand in his and pressed a light kiss to it. You stared up at him in shock, your skin prickling where his lips brushed it.

He smiled down at your dog and before you could even think to warn him he reached down and scratched behind her ear. Your jaw dropped as she happily licked his palm while he murmured something into her ear before promptly rising to his feet and striding off into the crowd.

You stared after him long after with the same dumbstruck look on your face. Who the hell was that?

-----------------------------------------

Tag list: @foli-vora @frannyzooey thanks for being patient with me ladies, this ones for y'all <3 @freak-nasty-thick-dick-mando

[seancekitsch]

Out of the Rain: a Marko x Reader fic

Warnings: bloodplay goes without saying bc vamp, rough sex, dirty talk, semi public sex, telepathy?? me projecting my music taste on this fic again. drug use, fast and loose use of vampire lore bc when i write i am god and u cannot stop me. also can u tell i have like…. v clear descriptions of the setting like i used to work at the place im describing but its not in california

No one had come in for hours. What's the point of staying open? You dim some of the lights in the store, which is one of three head shops in Santa Carla, but the only one open late. You're not really sure why this is the only store that stays open, why everyone else if worried about the three am walk back to their car on a weekend night. You've never seen anything of suspicion, just sometimes that biker gang watches people shuffle out. That was almost comforting, though. People didn't like those guys, so no one would make you use your switchblade if they were around.

The bright while fluorescent lights of your typical daytime ambiance faded away, and now green light bathes you in the “mood” lighting your boss thought was a good idea. The green lighting reflects off of the glass counters, shining it back at the ceiling and making everything that much more green. It fits, you think with the overall vibe of the store. The stale scent of weed, gently and miserably covered up by some nag champa incense, always burning in at least four different spots within the store. You'd long since gotten used to the smoke in your eyes. The music does everything to add to the ambiance. You always have full control of the music in the shop, usually because no one else is willing to take the night shift in Santa Carla. In fact, most of the boardwalk shops had a revolving door of night shift workers. You never got why, something clearly spooks them that does not spook you. Whether that makes you brave or stupid, you dont know. Jefferson Airplane’s Surrealistic Pillow pumps through the speakers in the store. But I suppose no one knows, you're my plastic fantastic lover.

The rain batters the boardwalk outside, a roar much different than the typical hustle and bustle of drunk teens, of the cliques and crews that come in and out; the few that sit and snicker in the doorway, never entering. Some too afraid to be associated with the implication of being spotted in the shop. We sell jewelry and vinyl too, you always say, when they balk at the idea of being in the same room as a bong or incense.

But then there's the other group that stands and idles in the threshold, also not entering. It's that biker gang. Four guys, a girl, a kid. Maybe he’s the brat of the girl and the one who takes himself too seriously, but maybe not. She looks too young for that. They'd been hovering around quite a bit lately, always after dark. You’d spoken to them, at least the ones that are talkative. The hair metal wannabe and the cute short one. Paul and Marko. You knew the dark haired one was Dwayne, but all he ever offered you was a curt nod and a tight lipped smile, respectful but indifferent. They're nice, not worth the spooky reputation they have. Any time it's not just you at the shop, your boss tries to spook them away. Good thing your boss isn't here tonight, because one of them is prowling around the storefront in the rain. That is, if it's not your spliff induced haze playing tricks on you.

No, one of them is out there. Without his little pack. The cute one. Marko.

You walk over to the door, which you haven't had propped open since the rain trickled in as a drizzle at the beginning of your shift. At least he had enough sense to be huddling under the awning. Fuck, he’s handsome even when he looks like a drowned rat.

“What are you doing out here?” You scrunch up your nose as you ask.

“Y’know, waiting for you to show up.” Wanted a look at that cute ass.

You blink at him. Did he really just say that?

“Okay… well, you know it's raining out there, right?”

“I might,” he offers noncommittally, eyeing the spliff still in the hand that's not holding the door. If it were anyone but him, you'd probably get fired for it.

Why is he just hanging around out here? That's hella weird. His curls are getting matted to his forehead, slick with rain, his jacket starting to look a little sad.

“C’mon in, Marko. It’s too wet out here. You’ll fuck up your jacket.” You nod towards the interior of the shop holding the door open as he passes you.

Wrong move, sweet cheeks.

“What did you say?” What did he mean, wrong move?

“I didn't say anything,” he offers nonchalantly as he thumbs at one of the tapestries on the wall. A garish mess that’s supposed to be the worm from Alice in Wonderland, but it’s distorted by a botched tie dye job of dark muddy colors. Every time you look at it, you assume one of the day workers did it.

“No, you said something.”

“Do you want me to say something?” there's both a threat and an innuendo in his tone. Maybe you do, but you just laugh, a sharp exhale through your nose, and bring the spliff to your lips again as he follows you deeper into the store.

You jump up onto the counter next to the ash tray, easy reach for each time you need to ash.

“So why are you really here?” your eyes narrow at him, kicking your sandal off on the floor where it lands a few inches from his boots. He looks uneasy in the space, like for all the wild shit you assume he’s into, he might not actually belong in it. He sways a little to the music, perfectly in tune with the rhythm. You sway along too, and suddenly he fills the space like he belongs. He just needed someone along for the ride with him.

“Do you ever come around during the day, or just at night because I’m so fun?” You’re teasing him, but it’s a nice easy feeling between you.

“Not really a sun guy,” bullshit, he would look beautiful with a tan, “but I do drag everyone here just to see you.”

“Awww, all for me? Do you have a crush, Marko?”

It’s more than that. You hear the words clearly, but his smile doesn’t move. You kick the other sandal off.

“I can hear you, I don’t know how, but I can. I bet you can hear me too.”

I can. You’re wrong about the tan thing.

You straighten up, mind clearing as you blurt out your next question. Something absolutely stupid.

“So what are you, a vampire or something?” he laughs at you, but his big toothy smile doesn't reach his eyes. No, there's something predatory, extremely dark in his eyes. Otherworldly.

How could you guess?  

“Well, that for one big fucking clue.” You ash the spliff for the final time, leaving the roach in the tray. You would think you’d be more surprised, more upset that you just found out vampires were real, and that you were in the same room as one. You have to say, weirder things are probably afoot in Santa Carla. Murder capital of the world can’t all be from some rowdy teens and a ten year old.

“You do those surf nazis?” is all that leaves your mouth. You kind of hope it was. They were the fucking worst. Racist, misogynistic, destructive. You’d had to threaten them a few times to leave your store on your shift.

“The—? Oh! Surf nazis. Yeah that was us. Ate a few of them.”

“Good for you. I mean— murder. bad. But they were nazis, and now they’re dead. so…” you trail off. Not really sure what to say next, but then you keep going. Remember everything you know about Marko.

“No, no I mean, it makes sense. Right? You and the guys only hang around at night. Aren’t vampires solitary hunters though? I don’t remember Dracula being in a frat.”

“They’re my pack. We take care of each other.” He says it with such fondness and devotion.

You feel a pang of jealousy run through you. You work alone for the most part, live alone, you’ve got friends but they’re all over the place. He belongs to something.

“And you're down with this?” he’s legitimately asking. You nod. You don't really have a choice, you're down or you get eaten, but like genuinely you are down with it. If he was going to eat you, he probably would have by now. There's probably a reason they've been hanging around the store, and in your sightline while you close up. You're putting things together.

“Like really?”

“Well, you haven't made me a kebab yet.”

He shrugs, frowns.

“Could still skewer you on something.”

Laughter erupts from your lips while you roll your eyes, music to Marko’s ears. This is why he took a shine to you, it's easy to get along with you, and you're not one of his brothers.

Something heavy falls in the room, and it's not the haze of the incense. He steps towards you, big blue eyes raking over your body, but always coming back to meet your gaze. He closes the space between you, easily fitting between your thighs; the rough patches of his jacket brushing against your bare skin where your shorts ride up. He leans in, like he's about to kiss you, and against all better judgement, you're going to let him.

You're going to let him.

The record skips. He holds out his hand, more like a gentleman than a biker gang killer, and helps you off the counter.

“Hold on, let me pick out a new record,” you turn without waiting for his confirmation, not at all surprised when Marko follows hot on your heels to the back room. Your boss’ office, the record room. Whatever you wanted to call it. His hands ghost over your arms as you push past the wooden bead curtain to enter the room. You can feel his presence close enough to touch. That's it, right where I want you. There’s his voice again.

He lets you actually pick out a new record. You slide it out of the sleeve and walk it over to the player. The static buzzes and pops as the needle finds the groove.

“Ocean Rain, you heard it?” No. He shakes his head, and you can feel it as he leans into your back.

“Echo and the Bunnymen. They've got a new album coming out this year.”

You turn to face him and his fingerless leather glove clad hands cover your cheeks.

He kisses you gently, tenderly. Not at all the way you’d expect. He’s eager, kissing like there’s something to prove. He licks his way into your mouth, tongue pushing your lips apart and you let him. His arms tighten around you as you kiss, tongues now greeting each other playfully. Your tongue explores his mouth, running along each and every tooth in his mouth. Huh, no fangs, you realize, and maybe he isn't actually a vampire. As if he reads your mind (maybe he does), he pulls away.

“They're, uh, hiding,’ he nods, almost to himself more than you. You nod as well, slow and uneasy, not quite believing him, but he pulls you back into a harsh kiss, more of what you expected. His hands roam your body as yours bury themselves in his curls. Still damp, but long and beautiful just as well. He shrugs the jacket off his shoulders, and his hands only briefly leave you to throw it and his gloves somewhere else, leaving him just in a thin white tank top. His mouth leaves yours to trail lower, kissing your neck. Your pulse point. Fucking irresistable. No, that's definitely his voice. Is this the end? Could be.

“I can smell you, hot stuff,” he moans into your ear, sending shivers down your spine. You find yourself gripping onto his shoulders a little tighter, but he lets you sink. He guides you, again more gently than you thought he would; bare knees brushing the threadbare carpet floor before you plant yourself. You look up at him through your lashes and he all but bites back a groan.

“You gonna join me down here?” You lick your lips, waiting for something.

“Nah, I’m gonna let you have a head start,” there's a joke in his tone. You're learning that’s normal for him. He’s silent, or playing jester. It’ll be interesting when you let him fuck you. Shit, did he hear that?

“Quit thinkin’ so loud!” he runs an affectionate hand through your hair. “But yes, I heard you. Glad you're as eager as I am.”

That's encouraging. You take your time undoing his belt, connected to faded and soft leather chaps, not bothering to push them down his thighs before you move to the top of his jeans, teasing your fingers at the skin just above the waistline. He shudders under your touch, extremely reactive. Does he get touched like this often? Or is it just quick fucks? You don't want to think about who else he might be doing this with, focusing again on his body, and all of the offending clothing covering it. You unbutton them slowly, teasing. For a member of the undead, he seems to be out of breath under your movements. The zipper is pulled down just as slowly. You run your palms flat along the bottom of his stomach, to his hips before pushing his jeans down to around his ankles, hooking his boxers on your finger along with them. He’s beautiful, and you can help but stare. Hard, eager, and thick, greeting you with a small trimmed patch of golden blonde curls. You wrap your hand around the base.

You never expected a vampire to whimper, but that's exactly what happens when your tongue darts out of your mouth to lick the head of his cock. Quick, tentative little lick, testing the waters. Your tongue swipes across the slit at the tip of his thick member and his hands animate like you flipped a switch, rising up, going to your hair, rising up again, slamming down against the desk. Your boss’ desk. You lick a long stripe to the underside of his cock, paying close attention to the prominent vein there.

“So good, so good, oh you feel so-” he pants out, hands white knuckling the edge of the desk. Heat pools in your core, loving that he’s so vocal. Fuck, if he could just keep speaking. Your other hand moves to your shorts, sloppily and hastily undoing them and wiggling them down to your knees. You wrap your lips around the head of his cock and sink down on it, taking him as far as you can, until you couch when he hits the back of your throat.

“You look fucking beautiful like that. Please move, Please move, you’re so fucking good at this.”

You do, starting to bob your head up and down on the length of him, hollowing out your cheeks and flattening your tongue against him, cupping and massaging his balls in your hand. Your free finds itself between your legs, rubbing gently at your clit, stirred and encouraged by his praise.

“Does sucking me off get you hot and bothered?” Yesitdoes.

You keep bobbing your head, rubbing your clit, eyes trained on his until his eyes squeeze shut. His cock twitches in your mouth.

“Don't wanna- don't wanna finish in your mouth,” he’s urgent, grabbing you by the chin and pulling your mouth off of his cock. He pushes you back by your shoulders, letting you guide yourself back to lay on the rug. He pulls your loose shorts easily off your legs and settles himself between your legs, too eager to bother with removing his boots and everything.

“I’ve been wanting to do this for so long. Do you know how bad I wanted this?”

“Fuck me, Marko, dont say it. Just do it,” youre breathless under him, wanting nothing more than for him to be fucking you. He pauses.

“I dunno…” his thumb swipes up along your clit, drawing a whine from your throat, “For some reason I think you like it when I say things.”

You nod, knowing words will fail you. And he gives you what you want, lining himself up and sinking into you, groaning as he buries his head into the crook of your neck.

“Oh I knew your pussy would feel like fucking heaven,” he pants against your neck, pressing a harsh kiss to the underside of your jaw. He sets the pace quickly, unmerciful and fast, fucking hard and deep into you. His hands push up your thin tee shirt, and you can feel his sigh of relief when he gets a handful of bare breast. He doesn't have to deal with a bra tonight. You hike your knees up, opening yourself as much as you can to him, wanting him to fill you to the brim. He looks into your eyes while he fucks you, which comes as a surprise to you. Maybe it shouldn't. You wonder what it would be like to be a victim of his. Does he treat them well? Have fun with them like this? Or is he vicious? You don't know if you could picture him like that… vamped out.

“What does it feel like?”

“What?” he thrusts sharply, snapping his hips into you, making you yelp.

“To be fed on, but not to die.”

Are you serious? You hear him in your head.

YesIam. He thrusts like that again, earning an identical yelp, now coupled with your thighs squeezing him around the middle. You're close already, and he can tell.

He nods, a question; You nod, confirmation.

He pulls at the neckline of your shirt, already scooping so it doesn’t ruin, and exposes your shoulder. Somewhere non lethal. His other hand comes up to grip your jaw, covering your neck but being careful not to squeeze it. You hope he bruises your jaw, you realize. A physical way to feel him when dawn comes. He slows his pace to a rocking, grinding into you, staying deep.

Then he bites. Stars erupt behind your eyes, and it feels like your blood has turned to seltzer. Every nerve in your body is in overdrive as you moan and shake and come undone around his cock. You're the kind of girl that comes from the bite of a vampire, apparently. He doesn’t let up. You can faintly hear him moaning against the open wound in your shoulder, and you hope you taste good to him. He licks the wound a few times more, softly, carefully, like he’s trying to soothe you when he finally lets you come down from your high.

When he pulls back to let you see him, his features are gruesome, full vampire with sharp brows and cheekbones, pointed nose even that much more so almost birdlike. Fangs and bottom half of his face covered in blood.Your blood.  He’s panting like an animal after the kill. But he doesn't scare you. Maybe he should, but he doesn't.  It's just Marko, no matter what, and if he wanted to eat you he would have. Several times now. His hand finally releases your jaw, to wipe the blood from his face. He wipes his hand then on your face, covering you in your own blood, hot on his fingers and palm.

“Fuckin sexy,” he pants, voice deeper and distorted. His thrusts speed up, trying to find his own release as your nails dig into his back, maybe making him bleed as well. You feel the rug burn forming on your back, you feel tears in your eyes. It's never felt this good with other guys.

When he comes, he comes with a howl, buried deep inside you as he shouts and shivers then stills above you. Your chest is heaving, trying to regain yourself as his face slowly fades to normal, and he slumps down on top of you. He buries his face in the crook of your neck, near the wound he tore open, now no longer bleeding. He mouths at any bare skin he can find, lazy half kisses as he spreads more mess and blood on you. Your fingers find his curls again, winding them around your digits as you stare up at the sickly green mood lighting bathing the walls of the room.

An hour later, Marko is helping you lock up early.

He makes sure to dump out all of the ashes from spliffs and incense, makes sure the vinyl is all in its right place while you make sure the register and inventory is all in its rightful place and order.

“You’re dangerous, you know.”

“Me?” you scoff, “That rich, coming from you.”

I’d do a lot of things I’m not supposed to for you. You kinda don't want to ask him what he means by that. For some reason that feels like a conversation you shouldn't have tonight. 

He leaves the store before you, holding the door open for you and letting you lock the doors. He slings an easy arm over your shoulder, not bothering to shield either of you from the rain as he steers you towards your car. You can feel the rain cleaning your face, the blood flowing away and saving you the shower you were going to take before collapsing into bed tonight.

“Where’s your bike?”

“I flew here,” he says with that devilish smile, and you're really not sure if he's joking or not. Your arm sneaks its way into his jacket and wraps around his waist, holding him close as he makes sure you get home same. Marko makes you feel calm, in a way you didn't feel before you moved to Santa Carla. How long had he been waiting to make his move? And does this mean he and his brothers would be coming around more often? Maybe being more friendly towards you. Each step towards your car feels heavy; You don't want to go home alone without him, but somehow you know he won't come with you. 

“Will I see you again?”

He grabs your car keys from your hand, and sticks them in the door handle. Of course you will.

Right. You just have to be near the beach at night. You know, where you work.

He kisses you full on the mouth, holding you close and tight, like you could slip away at any second. When he finally lets you go you pull away to be met with his face, full on grinning, his eyes still closed from the kiss. He doesn't look like a killer.

Marko watches you as you pull open the door to your car and more or less throw your ass into the seat.  He holds the door as he gives you one last smile, and says:

“You know, you should never invite a vampire into your life. Renders you powerless.”

And he winks.