#IT/

[hyrude]

eddie, has just left his wife and moved to la on a manic impulse, absolutely shitfaced and realizing the gravity of his decisions over the past 48 hours: i make a huge batch of chickpeas every sunday night to meal prep lunch for the week and i eat chickpea salad on mondays and wednesdays and chickpea curry on tuesdays and chickpea/quinoa bowls on thursdays and every friday the firm goes out for lunch and i order chickpea risotto. but i dont even like chickpeas! i hate them! i hate everything about chickpeas and ive been eating them five days a week for 10 years because the only thing i know how to do right is make myself miserable!

richie, who mistakenly agreed to be designated driver: ...is this a metaphor? are chickpeas pussy?

eddie: it’s not a metaphor! i hate chickpeas, the legume! i hate everything to do with garbonzo beans!

richie, woeful: well, you like hummus.

eddie: i don’t like hummus, richie! nobody likes hummus! you just like pita or hard little crusty garlic breads and you tolerate the hummus because the only way you can justify eating carbs is by using them as a vessel for low-calorie protein! and maybe if you close your eyes and only let it hit the roof of your mouth and you don’t chew long enough to taste it, you can pretend you dipped your cracker in cheese, and you can almost imagine it’s a nacho, but it doesn’t change the fact that you’re eating something that reviles you from the deepest, basest part of your soul!

richie, trying to piece together the veiled meaning but too scared to ask if this means myra pegged him:

eddie: i made my uber driver go through a drive-through on the way to the airport and i took one bite of an oreo mcflurry and broke down sobbing!

richie: you blew your uber driver?

eddie: IT’S NOT A FUCKING METAPHOR

[richiesmashmouthtozier]

when you tell your homophobe friend that reddie is real and they get mad so you keep reminding them that jack grazer himself confirms it

[pinchserveprince]

Ritchie fucking stole the movie

But i was really upset they basically gave what made Mike and his family cool to Ben. How is that gonna affect part 2? Why would it make sense for Mike to stay in Derry if he's not the historian of the group? Is Henry Bowers gonna be alive? Undead? It was a good watch and very scary, but Mike deserved better!

(Tho my bby Stan was really cute i want to be his mother)

[censor-art]

Listen To My Albums

[cryptidandrew]

yo if any of yall gremlins following me sexualise p/e/n/n/y/w/i/s/e you can block me now

[newlifestyles-blog]

ITエンジニアという未来への扉 － パラレルライフで目指すキャリアの新しい形

はじめに 「ITエンジニア」と聞いて、どんなイメージを持ちますか？プログラミングに没頭する姿、最新技術を追い求める姿勢、安定した収入やキャリアパス。しかし、その本質は「未来をつくる仕事」ということです。そして、私たちがパラレルライフを目指す際に、ITエンジニアという職業は最強の選択肢の一つです。この記事では、ITエンジニアの可能性と、パラレルライフとの親和性を考察しながら、その魅力をお伝えします。 ITエンジニアが社会を支える理由 1. 社会のデジタル化を支える主役 私たちは今、日常生活のすべてをデジタルの恩恵に頼っています。オンラインショッピング、スマートフォンのアプリ、医療機関のシステムまで、全ての裏にはITエンジニアがいます。この仕事がなければ、私たちの生活は今の快適さを失ってしまうでしょう。 2.…

[welcometoouranarchyhole]

i just got voice chat on roblox but i don’t talk to people because my voice is trash☠️

[hyrude]

bill was programmed to be the straightest man on earth but unfortunately his childhood best friend was a farmboy with a heart of gold who grew up to look like the old spice guy so who can blame the guy

[richiesmashmouthtozier]

i just finished the first chapter of the fic BUT I THINK IM GONNA REWRITE IT DNFNSMFMGM

[hyrude]

reddie fics that have participated in tanking my gpa this semester, ranked from least to most batshit

in fact, everything’s got that big reverb sound - stream of consciousness fic but the most in-character internal richie monologue ive seen to date. uproarious.

plus one - eddie haunts richie (in a sad way not in a funny way)

hit me baby one more time - GROUNDHOG DAY FIC aka my favorite genre of fic

heaven isn’t too far away - the premise is deceptive. u think it will be horny but it is actually 80% about sexual repression and it’s just happenstance that richie is a phone sex operator 

the years go by like days - this is the one i’m reading right now that is trying to kill me. do not read it unless u have like 10 straight hours to spare bc it’s impossible to stop. canon compliant, but eddie and richie start dating in high school and leave derry together instead of forgetting.

irreversible things - richie is a famous actor whose nose is insured for $30 million. this was the first reddie fic i ever read and it is still actively driving me insane

[hyrude]

[hyrude]

[jenny slate voice] i had to stop thinking about reddie bc it made me too craaaazy theyd be like i have been in love with you for every second of the last 27 years. even without remembering your face or your voice or the time we spent together, i could feel the void in my heart, like mourning the loss of someone i never met. like waiting and waiting and waiting for a ship to come back to shore, a constant wondering of when youd return. ive been watching an apparition pretend to be me, wake up and work and go to bed, make decisions with motivations i didnt understand, because so much of who i am is wrapped up in you, it was impossible to forget you without forgetting myself. seeing you again was an epiphany. and id be like AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[hyrude]

richie: pleeeeeeaaaaaasssseee

stan: whats in it for me

richie: ill let you sync our google calendars

stan, suddenly finding richie sexually attractive: you have a google calendar?

richie: ill let you make me a google calendar

[hyrude]

i love It 2017... ive done a complete 180. it’s the perfect movie. the bullies are psychopaths who cut them up with knives and try to smash mike’s brains in. and the retaliation is the losers throwing rocks at them for a 2 minute montage while anthrax - antisocial plays, followed by swelling hopeful music to accompany richie saying “go blow your dad”

[hyrude]

(im making this post as an extrapolation that i’m sure is unfair after having read exactly two stephen king things: half of IT and half of carrie) stephen king is such a misogynist hack writer like oh bluh bluh let me come up with nuanced spooks and scares for all these men let’s really tap into these characters’ psyches whoa wait a second. you’re tellin me girls get blood WHERE? ALL OF THEM? i have chills... now that’s true horror... have people heard about this shit

[hyrude]

eddie: so this is a letter i wrote to richie when we were 14. i was gonna give it to him, but then i thought he saw me writing it and i chickened out, so then i was gonna mail it to him when we went to different colleges, then i decided not to, so then i decided to burn it, but then i didn’t do that either, which is why it’s a little scorched. anyway, i want to get him alone, and read him this letter, and i think if i do, all of his feelings from when we were kids will come back to him. 

stan: yeah, no. no no no. don’t do that. that is dumb. you’re a grown-ass man, you don’t need cutesy letters from childhood, you need to wear slutty shorts.