#Im doing this instead of actually working rn
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#dandys world#dandys world fanart#vee#my art#moonflower#shitpost#Im doing this instead of actually working rn#fanchild
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"what do hands mean about a character?"
Their hands mean they love eachother
(webcomic)
#i almost wrote 'source' instead of 'webcomic'#that's a little twitter brain rot right there ngl#it's so bad on twitter rn yall like#straight up isn't showing my posts to my followers anymore#and art in general does. so much worse when it's actually the artist posting them#like provably art performs better when the artist pretends they stole it...#so so so glad I'm still on tumblr LMFAO#every time i use twitter i take psychic damage#'ohhhh why do you still use it' everyone is asking me this#my job. is to post art#kinda gotta post#I mean. ok that's not my job#you know this and I know this#but it's an important part of my career#its gonna be my job after i leave webtoon tho#god i hope that works#im so scared#LMAOOOO#anyways. these hands look good as hell#i think all the hands i draw look good#caus i love hands#but i loooove drawing hand holding...#the amount you can say with how a hand touches another.#im gonna be thriving with wwl#cause they have to hold hands or hell die#pump it into my veins#ok i can tell my bf js getting annoyed ive had my phone on for 3 hours in bed by#time and time again#adam and Steve#webtoon originals
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If you still do sjsm art, could you do Frenzy?
This made me realize i have literally no idea how to draw frenzy,, Sob
#mightve given her long hair by accident instead of her shorter hair but oh well#Also i still do sjsm stuff i just took a bit of a break :33#Im actually working on something sjsm related rn!! ^^#spooky's jumpscare mansion#spookys jumpscare mansion#spookys house of jumpscares#spooky's house of jumpscares#the dollhouse#frenzy#Frenzy baked the bread cuz i always thought shed bake stuff :3#Ive seen a lot of ppl say that she looks burnt but i always thought she looked like she was made only out of hair#Kinda like bive from regretavator#jesters doodles and stuff#art#artists on tumblr#my art
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Iris my love... gotta have the girly secondary fursona. For gender time. Actually think she's being demoted to fursona number 3 but idk we'll see about the pecking order when refs are all done. She was waaay overdue for a redesign oh shit I just realized I didn't put a color palette on here. Oh well ig too late for that now I am not rearranging that bg
#oh i should pop some character related tag commentary to the top of the tags thatd be neat. so uhh fun facts. i think my sibling technically#made her first design waaaaay back cause they drew her before i ever did. i dont remember which of us actually came up with her tho lol. sh#has antlers but shes always been cis in my mind so just like. dont think about it too hard ig. also while she is in part named after the#flower cause hashtag girly things (this was before i too was named after a flower. hindsight am i right) she was primarily named after the#song. by the goo goo dolls. the song thats really transgender to me. hindsight am i right. whys my cis girl fursona got all the transness#oh yeah and that earring is supposed to look like an iris. they are not easy flowers to draw tho good lird#she used to be a whitetail/fennec cause i love my local deer but mule deers big ol ears have swayed me. i love a big deer ear#she also used to have paws and a nub tail but i realized i was missing the best part of fox. big fluffy tail. and then the paws made her#look too fox yknow. wanted her to really look like a hybrid instead of just 'fennec with antlers' lol. anyway now for less relevant tag tal#guys i fear i am fursuit brained rn i keep looking at her and thinking about how fun she'd be to make a suit of. im too broke for thissssss#im already working on a suitttt i cant start another one on the side i dont even know where to get foam.... cause joann fabrics is gone...#actually wait i gotta figure that out like. real soon. i need foam still for the head im working on. shoot. uh. guys where do i get foam#i fear finishing lichens tail and starting zoras head has made me realize fursuit making may be my passion. but i do not have the finances#for this. tbh might see if i can just work my ass off for a month in like idk june just to get it over with for a bit and have money. but i#know that will not be a good idea it kills me to work more than like 5 hour shifts for more than threeish days in a row#i should really just actually make a commission sheet and take comms. that would be ideal#anyway i will now shut up :) and also schedule this for a few hours from typing cause i just posted a different ref#zoracontent#zora arts#clovers characters#iris#furry#sfw furry#fursona
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finished reading no home. I don't think I'll ever be the same person every again.
#this goes to the list of series that changed my life /srs#there aren't many things on that list but this one deserves to be in top 5#i can't even begin to rant about everything. it was so so good#the characters. their backstories. their development.#i could talk about them for HOURS.#the way that house went from ��just a place to eat and sleep” to an actual home for both eunyung and haejoon#how they both made each other better. worked through their bad habits and started mirroring the good ones.#how both of them want to live now. for themselves.#im getting rlly fucking emotional rn#and the side characters are so good too#hara my love... u deserved more panel appearance#also juwan is the friend we all deserve to have. sure hes a bit too much sometimes but humans are like that. we have flaws and imperfection#thats what makes us humans#im goignt o throw up from everything im feelign rn tf#i miss them already i finished reading like 10 mins ago#the way haejoon accepted the grief of losing his mom instead of running from it.. god#also the arc where eunyung confronts his parents stressed me out the most. man I HATE HIS PARENTS.#“Is this the right thing to do?” oh baby. that panel broke me#im so glad haejoon was there with him#the way the author draws sad faces is not for the weak. i sobbed every time i saw them sad#specially baby eunyung who was begging his dad to stop hitting him#JUST THINKING ABOUT IT MAKES ME UPSET AND ANGRY. LET ME HAVE A GO AT THAT BITCH I'LL GUT HIM#also every time haejoon remembered his mom and got sad :(( beloved#oh god im going on and on in the tags#how have i not hit the limit yet#no home#no home manhwa
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ONCE MORE UNTO THE BREACH DEAR FRIENDS, ONCE MORE
prequel
i still have to do BJ's neck [jaw is finished, neck is not. Hawk's neck is tho], and finish the mustache, plus some fine touching to make everything Perfect [bjs forehead, hawk's lips, etc] but. other than that i am DONE with these old heads. fabric is so much easier than faces so im not even stressin abt it. my wrist. it aches.
im FREE no more HAIR except BLURRY STUFF SO NOT LOTS OF DEFINITION
bonus; the end of the journey
#mash#mash 4077#hawkeye pierce#bj hunnicutt#mash fanart#mash art#m*a*s*h#mashblogging#work in progress#theres a button on my tiny tiny stylus that i usually never use. it does the colourpicker#which is faster than selecting the eyedropper and switching back to paintbrush#however. it makes it so i cant hold it normally/comfortably because i need to have a fingie on the button#which is fine! i just wont use the button/wont use it often#except the HAIR means i have to eyedrop a new colour every 2 seconds because im brute forcing it instead of doing it in a smart way#so i gotta do hand yoga and its. not good for me#BUT. the hair is done. except for the mustache but thats like 30 mins vs 4-6 hours so im ok w/ it#im gonna go eat cake now cause i promised myself i would. as a treat#also gamers. theres like 4 different layers rn texturing hawk's hair its not even funny#the salt and pepper is killing me quickly#in many ways actually
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starts hitting you with fucking hammer
#for reasons :3 i have to gather oc's#and so far we have: me. me but bunby. me but cookie.#im so good at making oc's 6=w=9#wuaughh crk.....#i do like my guy so muchhh hes awesome#this is not really a sona as in. what i would wear or me as a cookie. more like 'looking like this is cuuteee'#and then i grew attatched to this hair =w=bbb#ingame i actually wear the golden ankleband instead of the crocs bc. i have soome ingamestyle#but cmon... if its a sona ive gottt to give it da yellow crocs. cmonnn#tbf if they were a good-yellow ingame id wear that STAT. but. theyre off-white and min. BOOO#at least theres the brighg yellow boat croc for in my kingdomm i love that one#sillyposting#my work#cookie run kingdom#crk#ok#help me btw i cant be chillin at work rn.... fucking 70!!#ugh ahateber bye
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i have absolutely no idea what to expect from work today so like. wish me luck.
#going in to probably stand around and listen to a bunch of higher ups discuss my station#and what changes can be made to it#from what i know i am there primarily to answer questions and to go 'please Do Not' to things#that would make life more difficult for me as the person who actually does the work there#this is ofc why i agreed to do this on my day off#cus normally they don't even ASK if we wanna be involved and instead just do all of this without telling us#which is how we got my station into the clusterfuck it is rn!#so im grateful they asked me to come in#even if im gonna be shaking like a lad from anxiety the whole time probably nfjsjjvjJf#shh ac
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is it gay to make sure another mans history is passed on?
#labru and otasune...#jesus.#you know how like. crazy powers have to have a power up sequence? thats what im doing rn. gathering my knowledge. and so i have stumbled#upon the mgs4 book. sooooooooooooooooo ?!?!??!?!!?!?? im going to be Autism Powering Up for a while lol. happy that this is an actual book#so i can give an answer when someone asks what ive read recently (i am not answering fanfic. its literature to ME but i havent dropped my#shame too low just yet) but yeah i think im going to make a essay or powerpoint about the THREADS connecting mgs and homestuck its too much#also. i would like to make a list of characters who display a very Clear and textually viable classpect i think that would be fun#i tend to disagree with most assigned classpects im picky about the Patterns#like i saw someone tey to say solid snake is rage WHt are you talking about LMFAO#bro is the most obvious heart guy. like. born to be a machine. is nothing but a human. wants to get to the bottom (hand him his shovel!) of#himself. entrendre intended. swaps identities as a tool. like come on!#btw otacon is blood just like kabru. lineage stories records bonds past experiences.#^see all of this text this is why i call myself a rogue of heart instead of a seer now i fancy a wizards role and all but i cant help but#intake the HEART AND SOUL AND PUSSY creators put into their work and then dole it out on every other pussyful work.#im very busy being homestuck dungeon meshi and mgs brained at the same time i havent had a Special Interest Extravaganza since i was a wee..#16 or so
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adhd comix
#man i dont even have the energy to be mad. im just tired#like. dont u love it when your parents exhibit symptoms of ADHD and your sibling is diagnosed with a learning disability#and instead of thinking oh shit what if the other one has smth too. they subject you to The Horrors#i cant bring myself to hate my parents. but im tired of feeling obligated to defend them when the thing they think is working#isnt actually working and ive just found other ways to cope to avoid any sort of conflict. like lying and stealing. lol#if someone took me aside and said 'hey so your brain doesnt make as much dopamine as usual and its not a bad thing it just means you#need external stimulation and reward system to function and youre not actually secretly fucked up or lazy' as a kid#im pretty sure i wouldnt be here rn with half the problems i already have. unfortunately getting diagnosed late means u dont have a teacher#to back you up at a parent teacher conference that forces your parents to take this shit seriously instead of ignoring it hoping itll#go away on its own. but hey what do i know i have squirrel ipad baby disease. what do i know about my own symptoms#AND. AND i think im allowd to be mad bc ive been doing my own research on this for years before and after diagnosis#theyve been putting me thru the WORST parenting techniques on earth. which they could have corrected at anytime but they were#comfortable thinking they were doing it right and didnt bother to check if they were or werent fucking up their kid in the long run#and refusing to acknowledge it. i just!! they just decided one day hey lets make babies!! and just looked at books on how to make#a human being survive as long as possible!!! what the fuck!!!!#im sorry for putting this on ppls dashes but i am. so tired. of bottling this up. and im not looking for sympathy or anything i just need#to scream and clench my fists to SOMEONE about it because theyre not gonna take this well up the ass. sigh#yapping#vent
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actually there's no need to make this assignment any more complicated than it already is. horatio vs patroclus 'the lovers' epilogue' short story from 2021 revamped now ok?
#i have to do 7k words (4k creative 3k critical) and my extension isnt for as long as id like. my initial project is fun but im not in a#headspace rn to be able to do it justice and im needlessly panicking about it being perfect. i think it might be best to work with smth i#already have the groundwork for in the kind of layout i work best in (two characters yapping with minimum external description)#i stopped it in 2021ish because i found it a bit too fanfic-y for my tastes but. happy 2025 this is on cambridge for letting me in.#stay tuned :)#notnow#and tbf. fanficness aside. i was onto smth insofar as the actual foils went... horatio who resents patroclus being associated with him from#the moment he didnt actually have to deal with the aftermath of losing someone and got to simply 'jumpstart' the action instead#patroclus got to do the easy thing (die). horatio has to carry the epilogue#and yet theyre both often positioned as respective parallels/classical lovers in popular discourse. which i think is very fascinating#and comes with delightful interpersonal crossover implications#anyway. you can also tell this idea was old because i was still writing about men
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how the fuck did my english class manage to take a semi-positive stance on generative ai
#im actually so pissed about this rn#we were doing an assignment about ai and plagarism#and i was expecting a firmly anti-ai stance#cause yk. english class. writing.#and also schools are usually anti ai (at least from what iv experienced)#instead what i got told was that generative ai is alright to use so long as the teacher gives you permission and you cite it as a source#like???? no??????? its still not ethical to use????#youre an english teacher writing and literature is literally your whole thing how are you okay with generative ai?????#i was sitting there fuming the whole time#like i wrote out an entire paragraph explaining that generative ai is NOT in fact okay to use#yk on account of it stealing from writers and artists#and also being HORRIBLE for the environment#but i didnt get the chance to say that because the teacher didnt even open the discussion of the ethics of ai in general#just about what it was and what makes it constitute as plagiarism#which i find to be incredibly ironic given that ai literally plagiarises everything#ALSO WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU LETTING STUDENTS USE AI#SO LONG AS THEYRE ���GIVEN PERMISSION” AND “CITE” IT LIKE ITS NOT THEIR WORK DOESNT MATTER IF THEY CITE IT OR NOT#ITS NOT THE SAME AS JUST GETTING SOURCES LIKE FOR A RESEARCH ESSAY#ITS STEALING#HOW THE FUCK IS THAT FAIR TO THE PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY PUT IN THE EFFORT????#anti ai#fuck ai#stop ai#fuck ai everything#i hate ai
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babe wake up a new Venti-coded song just droppped
“I’m as sober as a drunk.
I’m as high as rock bottom.
Free as a man with his hands handcuffed to the bar.”
#we’re gonna ignore the fact that this song released in 2020 okay. it’s new(ish) to Me and i want an excuse to post about Venti#venti#genshin impact#venti genshin impact#genshin impact venti#venti gi#music stuff#Seven’s Blorbo Songs#Spotify#we’re also gonna ignore that the majority of the song is relationship/breakup focused#the three lines i quoted up there are so Venticore to me that the rest is inconsequential#but if ur deranged enough like me then im sure there’s a way to interpret the other lyrics to be about Nameless Bard#if ur in the mood for some Extra angst y’know#actually the more i think about it. that’s actually a very fitting way to interpret the other lines!#like. instead of trying to drown the memory of some ex he’s drinking to cope with the loss of his best friend :)))#or if u wanna interpret them as having been something more than friends then this works too. i like to think wisp Venti had a crush on N.B.#OR given that lots of ppl headcanon Venti and Zhongli to be exes you could Also interpret it as being about him! many options here actually#maniacal laughter#i love angst so much#anyways. go listen or read the lyrics and tell me if i’m wrong but. this is Venticore to me#like not to play into the done-to-death Alcoholic Venti trope but. while that’s not Everything he is it’s still part of him#and i think there’s something to the whole concept of the God of Freedom being chained down by addiction. y’know?#anyways *adds yet another self-indulgent country song to my Venti playlist*#there’s a reason it’s been sitting at 13 followers for like. two years. (bc i won’t stop adding my niche songs that make sense to no one)#but then again that’s 90% of my playlists anyway lmao#i’ve had Venti on the brain a lot lately since i started writing a new oneshot that has once again turned into a full-blown songfic#and given that it feels like something is trying to claw its way out of my uterus rn and i actually have a free evening to rest#methinks i’ll curl up in bed and finish writing that fic so i can finally share it with the world#and it will probably flop as hard as my last Venti fic did but that’s okay bc i do this out of love for Venti and nothing can stop me 😤#anyway that fic isn’t directly related to This song but i do explore Alcoholism Themes in the fic bc of course i do
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awawawawawawa
#bunny rambles#i was “cleared” to go back to work yesterday but she told me i could use the rest of the time also if i wanted/needed#and im using it. but the little corporateanxietybot who lives in my head and tries to make me be a Good Worker[tm] is SCREAMING HER HEAD OFF#cause she thinks my boss/Dad is gonna scream at and hit her for being Lazy#this is a trauma post also um. didnt expect to name her rn but she's screaming and i cant scream back cause she sounds like alarms and those#scare crustywhitedog so i have to calm that one so i don't meltdown#my wife submitted the RTW date for me so like. its okay im actually taking the time and ik this is necessary also bc. it is clearly unwell#that its freaking out because it's gotten a more than a 2 day break for the first time in a year#ik corporateanxietybot has protected me in some ways but. i gotta kill her so bad. maybe H can help me reformat her somehow .....#i also hate her is the thing. she cant hear me rn bc she's just looping in circles alarming but anyway. i hate her. like Me. she's so#capitalismcorebootlicker and i hate that about her and i hate that she exists and i hate that she exists bc my dad raised me to be an#Employee instead of a person 🙃🙃🙃🙃#im not elaborating or explaining any of this. this is a diary entry now#i wish i could click her to kill her like the drones in hardcoded lmao it'd be so much easier. ik she like. lives in the work mode mask as#well which is also HARD bc if im not actively thinking Of work or At work she's nonexistent#but shes so LOUD 🙃🙃 like shut up. we're not gonna explode n die from taking an extra week off you're being dramatic our boss isnt Dad#like he LITERALLY isn't Dad. not even close. he's like the most docile man in the world come on ik they're around the same age and both hve#held authority over u but boss checking in wasnt a trap ur not ab to get caught doing wrong ur fiiiiIIIIIIINE#(also corporateanxietybot is not an adult. she's 15 and terrified but she integrated to my work mask which is the problem cause she makes me#a “phenomenal employee” and also makes me work myself sick when she is given the reigns. little devil on my shoulder except the capitalist#system we live under treats her as a positive thing so she gets positive reinforcement at work which only makes her more anxious 😭 i gotta#talk to H about this next Friday huh. also wow. parts work has made it a lot easier for me to acknowledge these behaviors so i can confront#them easier. weird. strange even. so many parts have gotten names this past month n im realizing also why its been so hard to process stuff#but it also has made me kinder to myself. anyway she turned off (her batteries are low since she's been home for a month too) so im gonna#clean myself up and get some food in me and then get some cleaning done
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btw similar to the whole "if you try adderall at a party and it calms you down, get an adhd test" thing, if at some point in your life you try microdosing shrooms with a friend and end up feeling like a functional person for the first time in your life, get tested for depression. like yeah hallucinogens come with elation so youre probably gonna have some "this is the best ive ever felt in my life" vibes regardless, but like. if that in and of itself feels like finally breathing in for the first time in years, thats for sure a sign that something is up with your ability to process serotonin most of the time. feeling better than ever before should be a nice bonus, not a crushing weight off your chest
#fun fact there are currently multiple ongoing studies vis a vis the effectiveness of psilocybin on depression#both on its own and as a companion to ssris#psylocybin targets the 5ht2a serotonin receptors which wikipedia tells me are more numerous in the brains of those with depression#so like. if you spend most of your life feeling like your brain is an aquarium with a leak in it and serotonin is the water and your default#state is 'slightly damp gravel grinding painfully against itself' thats ummm not normal 👍#and on the flipside of that if you have depression that no other med has worked for and know a guy. its 1000% worth it#origibberish#also i say 'wikipedia tells me' as if i just looked it up but that all comes from a long night of spite filled research after i asked my#psychiatrist if we could use the fact that psylocybin worked for me as a basis to like. narrow down which legal antidepressant#might work instead of basically just throwing darts at a board every time#and after several minutes explaining to her that i was not just asking her to prescribe me shrooms but in a legal way she went#'ohhhh yeah no unfortunately theres been no research into that‚ yeah.... sorry......:)'#which. as far as 'lies you come up with on the spot to avoid having to say i dont know' go‚ that is. maybe the worst one to pick#like. 'no‚ thats not an option'? alright fine maybe theres some internal rules or something who knows#'theres no research' though just. immediately tanks any and all credibility 100% even on its own but considering the subject matter?#youre telling me. that humans. the famously curious species that researches fucking Everything. and also Loves playing with drugs. when#trying to figure out how to make drugs that make brains feel good. would not start with the drugs they already knew made brains feel good.#youre telling me that not one (1) singular scientist tried shrooms and went 'oh my god wait. i dont feel like im dying for the first time#ever. holy fuck i need to study this'#complete misplay. absolutely legendary fumble. there were so many ways to fuck it up and somehow you found the worst. congratulations#om the other hand though. really was an excellent setup for the punchline that is the voicemail i have from them saying she'd been fired LOL#they didnt say what for specifically but yknow. based on my own experiences i certainly have theories jebfksbfk#it was annoying in the moment but at the end of the day i have shrooms and she doesnt have the job so. whos laughing now emily KSBFKSBFKDN#this is what i mean though like. rn i feel fine. not on top of the world‚ not like a god#just. fine. i just dont feel like shit. i feel like i can do stuff if i want to‚ or chill peacefully and have it actually be. relaxing.#i dont feel like gravel right now‚ i feel like a person.#and god what a fucking relief it is#really i guess the moral overall is that if at any point you react to trying a new drug the same way an addict craving a hit for days would#then there maybe is something up with your brain chemistry because that means your default state of existence is comparable to that#of withdrawal. a famously shit experience
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post ankle-twisting clarity
#i slipped in the mudddddd the other day LOL i twisted my one ankle and scraped up my other knee#so the past few days ive just been kind of needing to waddle around.....#LUCKILY its healing well and fast <3 but yknow i was like#so stressed out over shit that doesnt matter in school. and like this is an awful unintentional habit i have but i will get like#overly stressed over shit and then i'll start getting SUPER careless with everything. and then i'll injure myself foolishly and Calm Down#happened last year with my foolish midnight woodcarving incident LOL its always november....#BUT yeah luckily this years foolish injury is a quick one at least!!#but yeah like genuinely i was so stressed out about all my fine arts major shit. teachers have been really getting on my case recently#my main professor said that it was a good thing people get so riled up with my work because it means its impactful#tbh i didnt believe her at all i thought she was just trying to placate me but then i listened closely to the things faculty say when#they look at my fucking. cartoon wolf drawing or something and i think. she might be right actually. people keep getting frustrated with me#because i think they see a lot of potential in me but i basically only have to drive to draw cartoon wolves etc HFKJSDHJVKRFEds#which is great for my ego. maybe too good for my ego. that my mark making and colour use etc is so evocative to these industry and#instutition people. but on the other hand i was told like thrice now that my work has no place in a gallery. which is fine although im not#totally sure how true that is. but also afterwards one time i was suggested to go into animation instead which is. um.#so its not out of nowhere i mean i did want to be an animator when i was like 10 but if you know anything about the current state of the#animation industry its like genuinely wild to tell someone who you've only seen 2 dimensional watercolour and acrylic painted#sketchy lined drawings from and who has said they cant do digital art anymore that they should get an animation degree?#brother they would kill me. i would be killed. i had an inkling but it really made me notice so clearly how limited the experiences my#faculty kind of have with certain industries. which is fine. or maybe not. for a professor LOL but yknow. but i was like huh. i guess i can#just kind of chill lol if i just keep doing things maybe something will come of it. i may not get as much help in my artistic development#rn as i would like. but its chill i think i'll figure it out if i just keep doing stuff <3#doesnt really matter that my teachers dont know what to do with me. my kneeeee has a booboo so i am CHILLING out :)
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