#Im going to try growing a tree in it

[ceratosaurtalks]

Cheap custom backgrounds?

Hi! Want to give your enclosure something like this?

Well let me help you do this in a affordable way to give your animal some new enrichment and climbing opportunities!! Theres a misconception fancy backgrounds are hard to do or are expensive to do. This is... Very much not true! So lets do the one above together! Heres an overview of the supplies you'll need: -Your Enclosure of choice -Cocofiber and Sphagnum moss(OPTIONAL, can opt to paint) -Aquarium grade Silicone -Great stuff pond and Stone -Cork bark, roots, sticks, small rocks(OPTIONAL) First things first, you're going to want an enclosure.

This is a DUBIA 4ftX2ftx2ft[LengthsXwidthXHeight), Also known as a 48"L x 24"W x 24"H(Inches) or a 120 Gallon Enclosure. This is considered the researched minimum size for common exotics like Ball pythons, Corn snakes, Bearded Dragons and the like to thrive. *Disclaimer: Im aware there is several groups and movements who are pushing for a 5x3x2(ft) minimum for Bearded dragons, I ultimately agree with them and the advancement of exotic keeping, but a Bearded won't suffer in a 4x2x2. Dubia Enclosures are some of the cheapest in the market, however they're decent for the price. They are stackable which makes it great for saving space, but please note they can NOT hold a lot of weight, so be mindful of that.

I own 3 of these. Two Version 1s and on Version 2, which is the one above. The V2s are generally nicer in design in my opinion, theyre functional more importantly. Once you have your enclosure of choice, lay it on its back as shown in in the first image. Next, you're going to want to prep your dry background. I use Organic Cocofiber and Sphagnum moss. I buy these extremely cheaply from Home depot or in bulk off Amazon. Make sure your material is COMPLETELY DRY! It will NOT stick if it has any moisture. Break apart your Cocofiber block and mix it with your dried Sphagnum moss in a container and have it ready on the side. I use the bulk Coco fiber, which costs about $23 for 5 bricks on Amazon. You can get them cheaper if you dont buy bulk, I do a lot of gardening and have a lot enclosures so its easier for me! https://www.amazon.com/Organic-Coco-Coir-Bricks-Compressed/dp/B01N1YP8O6?th=1 for a 4x2x2, I only use 2 bricks. Likewise, I buy Bulk moss for the same reason: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BK7XMNWL?ref=nb_sb_ss_w_as-reorder_k0_1_10&amp=&crid=1RDHFNSAUX0DF&sprefix=spaghnum%2Bm&th=1 You will only need. ONE BRICK. For the Sphagnum moss. Maybe even less than a brick. You're going to want to wet this then dry it before use. Dont be me. Dont be fooled over how small and thin those moss bricks are. I made the mistake of trying to wet an entire brick and I had to use a deep soup pot to contain it. It *explodes*. You will be buried in moss. You will scream and cry and beg for mercy as you are overwhelmed by the amount of moss Expanding from a singular brick. I am not exaggerating, I learned my lesson, please god, do not make the same mistakes I made. I still have. So, so much moss. Sometimes I still find Moss from my Mossaggeden. NOTE: Please make sure to use organic, and do not used DYED moss! Double check your ingredients, Dyed moss can be toxic to your animals! Next,

Silicone time, baby! You're going to want to use Aquarium grade Silicone from Home depot, please double check to make sure you're getting Aquarium grade! This will cost you a whopping $3 At Homedepot. The Caulking gun was an additional $12 if you dont have one already, however, it is re-usable so its a great one time purchase because I use that bad boy for a lot of my projects lmao. Once you struggle to open your stupid bottle of Silicone without exploding it like I have on several occasions; time to be silly!

We're going to Silicone this bad boy up reaaaaal good. Dont be me, USE GLOVES! It makes your life so much better I promise. So why are we doing this exactly? Its simple, this will help your background last! It gives it texture and helps the spray foam stay in place. It also keeps your background from peeling so easily, texture matters! Your hands going to be very tired after this. Youre going to want to leave this alone for the next 24-48 hours. Minimum. You want your silicone to dry and want to make sure the smell is gone before continuing to the next step!

This is the funnest part. Spray foam time! For the 4x2x2, I use about 3 Bottles of this stuff. Make sure you're using NON-TOXIC Spray foam! Pond and Stone is my favorite to work with. When I add things into the background, I make sure to have a 4th can of this stuff on me. This will be the most pricey part about it. Lowes has it for $12-14 a can, but its $15 a can on Amazon. This is really the only big 'expense' when it comes to backgrounding. Smaller enclosures use less, but bigger enclosures will need more. !!!!!!!THE NEXT STEPS NEED TO BE DONE TOGETHER!!!!!!!! Youre going to want to be fast about it if youre using my method. Start spraying random patterns into the background. Youre going to want to make sure youre covering every inch of the enclosure, you can do zigzags, cut it into triangles, squares, it doesnt matter. Different shapes give you different background textures, so go nuts!!! Dont leave space between the foam, and go ham. Theres no wrong way to do this. Once thats done though, you're going to want to do the next step IMMEDIATELY:

Adding your background texture and features!! This step MUST be done while the spray foam is still wet. First, take any rocks, cork, sticks, ext if youre adding them and shove them into the background. Dont have money to pay for expensive Reptile decor? You can sanitize your own rocks and sticks from outside yourself for free. I will make a guide about how I do that soon ahah. Press any features you want into the spray foam background nice and firm, then use the extra to spray around the items to secure them in place. Once you got your features in, its time to take your pre-prepped background and begin pouring it in! Spread it evenly across the enclosure. Do NOT worry if you have excess, poor it in anyway. Once you've poured the background in. GENTLY pat it over the sprayfoam. Next, you'll want to leave this to dry for the next 24 hours minimum. Leave it laying on its back so nothing drips or sags where you dont want it to!!! After 24hours, lift the enclosure and gently tap the back of it to knock off your excess background to reveal your background!

Annnnnnd you're done!!! Now you're free to add your lighting, real or fake plants, heating, substrate and other decor as you please! This can add so much more enrichment to your animal and give them so much more room to utalize their space. My individual personally loves his background and utilizes it all of the time! Contrary to belief, a lot of snakes aren't 'pet rocks' if you give them stuff to explore and climb. My guys out pretty often! Of course it comes down to personality too ahah.

Heres some pics of him using his climbing features! He prefers the middle climbing feature here and the one off to the right, where he uses to bask when he doesnt want to be seen and hangs out the top of it, or his bird perch when he doesn't mind being right there out in the open. c:

[valdotjpg]

escapism can be both a respite and a prison. btw

[coridallasmultipass]

It took me, ugh, MONTHS (2), to get to cleaning the two shrimp tanks I have... I had IRL issues going on that would have made it extremely difficult to do a water change especially while injured, and I just had to keep putting it off. It's just shrimp, so it wasn't like, the worst situation, especially since I have established plants and the tanks are a couple years old. There was just a lot of algae build-up on the glass, and, well... Let me just say it was not contributing to my mental health and well-being while the tanks were in that state.

I tested the water before I started cleaning and the parameters were fine (like, I could have left the tanks even longer if I would be okay with selling my soul to the Algae Collective), and the plants and shrimp look fine, too (I mean, I've obviously been keeping an eye on the tanks bc I sit right next to them). Actually, I'd wager to say that the plants are looking really great (the lilies haven't died off [yet? This is the longest period of time I've seen them stay... foliage... fol... foliated? Idk.] and the cryptocoryne in the 10gal is fucking huge and needs to be rearranged, just not right now). That fucking algae was a motherfucker to get off the 10gal (it's a plastic tank and I think that makes the algae grip harder than the glass 5gal).

[Also, fyi, depending on the tank's needs and stability, recommended water changes are a small one every week or every other week. My parameters don't seem to do anything dramatic, so I usually aim for a 20-30% water change every third week (just depends on how much vacuuming needs to be done and how cooperative the shrimp are with moving aside). So 2 months is still a lot. I still did the normal 30% ish amount, since doing more will risk the shrimp's well-being if there's a sudden change in everything, and my water parameters indicated a change was unnecessary - but I don't test for more than the minimum freshwater tests, so there could be a buildup of some mineral I'm not testing for, which is why the change IS actually necessary regardless of what my test kit says - because these tanks were evaporating a lot in summer, it condenses the minerals added with each water addition, even tho I usually top up with R.O. water.]

My back is fucking killing me lol. It has been killing me since spring when it 'went out' for the first time, and I'm not getting any relief, it sucks. But this had to be done.

The 5gal is looking pretty cloudy still, since the filter was super gunked up and I accidentally spilled gunk back in, so I may need to retest the 5gal parameters tomorrow just to make sure I don't have to do another water change, but it'll probably be fine, right? Shrimp love mulm and detritus. I did give both tanks a big ole algae tab for their trouble, tho. (I need a fuckening dish for the big tank. I really wanna clean off that white quartz rock again, but being white means it's an algae magnet, and it's just gonna go green again after a month or two.)

Anyway, shrimp tax:

I lov thees widdle oange bebies.

Wish I could take better pictures rn, but I am. Like. Dying. My recommendation: never live in an A-frame style room if you have the option. The wall above my tanks is slanted, and NOT fun for my back to bend underneath the wall for maintenance. (My only flat wall in the room is for my TV/PC.) Also, treat your back nicely, in general. I unfortunately have not had the option to treat my back nicely since spring (fall now), because 'when it rains it pours,' and heavy shit that needs to be moved will not move itself. Once I get a few more things in my room in order, I will hopefully be done with the IRL chaos, bc I have Halloween socks to knit, and I'm not putting that off for another year. (I'm still mad that I couldn't make the ones I planned last year. And I found more Halloween yarn I forgot I bought, so I'm gonna try to make multiple socks.) And I just really need to fucking chill and knit and stop having panic attacks and meltdowns.

[ninja-yogurt]

I don't like that I sometimes lose contact with good friends for a bit bc generally a) it means things aren't going great for either of us so we don't have the time or energy to check in and b) I like my friends and I worry if it's been a while that I've alienated them or we've just drifted too far apart for our friendship to be as good as it used to be

BUT

on the other hand there is very little that delights me more than checking in with a friend after a while and we have both gotten into the same things despite never mentioning it to each other and/or in some cases being out of touch for close to a year. We may not have spoken but our souls were in contact anyway I guess

[arolesbianism]

Man oni can't do this to me I'm supposed to be preparing for artfight but all I can think abt is Them™ from the second I wake up to the moment I go to bed how am I supposed to prepare in these circumstances 😔

[teaboot]

Sometimes I think a lot about my mom's cat

My mom's cat is a common domestic shorthair we found on the side of the road as a kitten

Regular cat, not a maine coon or one of those massive breeds. His mom was smaller than a loaf of bread

But in a sort of a Clifford The Big Red Dog situation, he grew super fast, and really really big, and took a super long time to stop growing

Worried that she was overfeeding him, she eased back his portions, but he stayed a massive round baby

When he started having kidney problems, she took him to the vet.

The vet took a look at him and said, "holy fuck, what are you feeding him", checked the nutritional listings on his chow, and told her "Yeah, maybe he's reacting badly to the amount of grain in this, try a meatier diet"

So my mom wound up special-ordering this specific high-protein prescription cat food made of like. Kangaroo meat or some shit that cost like sixty bucks a bag

And, as typical act two in an episode of House, he somehow got worse on the fancy specialized stuff that was supposed to be Primo Athlete Olympic Feline Blend

Like. WAY worse. His guts were inflamed and his kidneys were shutting down and he was all sore and HE WAS STILL HUGE, just miserable and sad

So shetook him back to the vet, where they had to help him pee (he was apparently close to bursting and had some kind of blockage too) and went "Yeah no this is NOT normal and we don't know what's going on, we're gonna do some tests but in the meantime you should go back to what he was eating before, at least that wasn't actively killing him" so she did

And he still wasn't great, but he also improved

And so they take his blood and do an ultrasound and a couple g's later she gets a call back like "this is gonna sound crazy, but we want you to put him on a low-meat diet. Just the least amount of protein and iron and shit. We need you to find the grainiest, filler-iest dollar tree kibble available and give him some of that bad bad shit"

And my mother is a woman of science. So she did

And he GOT BETTER

His energy picked back up, inflammation went down, he started drinking normally again, got back to pissing like a fuckin champion

And so it turns out that out of all the random ass freeway bonus cats we possibly could have scooped out of a ditch, WE got the one-in-a-million freak of nature with a SPECIFIC genetic defect that means a paleo protein free range diet is essentially poison and he THRIVES on cheap ass garbage

Like. He medically NEEDS junk food

I dont really understand how that works, but i cant argue with results.

If we had four of him, they'd outweigh my mom. And he's FINE

Also blind, but that's unrelated

Im not using him as a symbol or a metaphor or anything. I just keep catching myself thinking about my mom's Big Fucking Cat

[orcelito]

Stayed up way too late playing sims 4 bc I finally got around to downloading all the shit and I started making my goth witch girl from the sims 2. And got really carried away with it. Still have to make her twin brother And her girlfriend (technically the girlfriend will start out in a separate household & I'm gonna pad things out with more family members. But the 3 of them are the most important). But it got really late and I'm not even done with her yet but ppl online seem to be saying that u can save a CAS household in the library so that I can go in and continue editing. We will hope 🙏 bc I dont wanna lose the hours of effort I spent on her

And even tho it's nearly 7 am I still really wanna be playing. I'm not gonna get much sleep tonight, I don't think

[waywardsalt]

back to minecraft and before i start a hardcore world decided to grab screenshots of the last two buildings i made for my creative world project thing

first is this little pavilion thing that i have mixed feelings on

and second is a farm building that took me a while to put together due to how little space i was working with and my wanting to cover just about every base i could think of

i have mixed feeling about this one too but i've come around a bit on it since, probably because of how long i spent on it

[ploverbear]

my former therapist told me "everything you are and become and will be is something learned; you cant be something if you didn't learn it somewhere. nothing is inherent about anyone, except for something genetic" and honestly it is still messing with me on some level

[bartxnhood]

ANY VARIATION OF READER X THUNDERBOLTS BUCKY AND THE TEAM BEING TF U HAVE A GF THANK YOU AND ILY

girlfriend? | bucky barnes

| thunderbolts!bucky barnes x fem!reader

warnings: john walker and minor thunderbolts spoilers!!!!!

a/n: YAY!!! IM SO EXCITED TO WRITE FOR BUCKY AND MARVEL AGAIN!!! i also decided that this would probably take place after the events of the movie, and i took inspiration from clint hiding his family but, with reader! so, i hope i did your vision justice!!

Copyright © 2025 bartxnhood. All rights reserved. This original work is not allowed to be reposted on any platform in any format.

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧

the smoke was dense and thick, making it almost impossible to see within five feet. the smell of sulfur and concrete filled the nostrils of the ‘new avengers’.

new york has seen yet another attack, this time by another outer space alien thingy that bucky couldn’t remember.

there’s a dreadful silence between the group, all stuck in their own minds, trying to figure out just what went wrong. how they got defeated so quickly.

he stood with his hands on his hips, trying to regain his breath after being slammed into a plethora of floors from one of the skyscrapers.

ava hunched over holding her midsection while also trying to catch her breath. yelena, leaning against a fallen slab of a building while clenching her arm. walker, somewhere else, blowing off steam as his shield was snapped in half, and alexei going on some sort of rant.

“it’s fine, this is fine” the broody older man speaks, his thick accent grating against buckys ears. “everybody get up!” the red guardian claps, trying to pump up the group. “we are the thunderbolts!!!”

yelena rolls her eyes, keeping a hand pressed on her arm, “dad, stop”. she looks at the man with sharp eyes. they say optimism is good to have on a team, but alexei had too much. it often got annoying.

turning a corner, walker, stuffing something in his suit pocket, looks to the others. “we’ve been compromised.”

ava stands, crossing her arms. “what?” she looks between bucky and yelena, who have the same look on their face. it isn’t dread, it isn’t worry, it’s something much worse.

alexei mutters some swear words in russian under his breath. and for a moment, no one knows what to do. they aren’t a team, they have no backup, and bucky knows that sam won’t help him.

yet again, he’s alone.

“well, what now?” ava asks, her attention trained on the white widow. “ah!” alexei holds up his fingers, then snaps, carrying a proud look on his face. “a safe house!”

everyone pauses, stealing glances at each other with a blank expression. clearly growing tired of the red guardians persona. “oh, you’ve got to be kidding me..” ava exasperates, before taking a few steps away from the group.

bucky contemplates for a moment, hes staring off at the gray rubble beneath his black boots. he only had a handful of options, one of those being sam. as he was not on the best terms with sam, he figured his last option would suffice. you.

“i know a place.”

the sun was just rising, its misty rays barely peeking through the thick fog. the air was cool and damp, the ground beneath covered with an early morning dew. a cabin tucked away amidst the trees stood silent and still, as if waiting to welcome the day.

the trees surrounding the cabin were barely visible through the dense fog, their leaves shimmering with dewdrops like tiny jewels on their green surfaces. the air was silent, save for the soft sound of the nearby river.

stepping off the quinjet, bucky stopped at the edge of the ramp, looking at his home he shared with you. he felt happy to be back home, but a part of him dreaded the following events.

bucky knew he was risking everything by bringing the others to his home, to you. someone who bucky made sure to keep hidden from everyone. he didn’t do it because he was ashamed or didn’t love you, but he did it because he loved you so much. it was better to keep you off file and off record, for your safety.

if anything happened to you, bucky would’ve surely lost his mind.

“why the hell are we at a cabin, bucky?” walker quips, following the other super soldier. “we can’t go on vacation now.”

“shut up, walker,” bucky snaps, shooting a glaring look over his shoulder as he waits for the rest of the others to fall in behind him. “what are we doing here? we clearly need a safe house,” yelena chimes in, ava and alexei adding something under their breaths.

bucky can already feel himself getting agitated with the anti-heroes. it’s hard enough working with people that collectively cannot get along, it was doomed from the veining. “it’s safe, just trust me.”

crossing the threshold of the dark oak cabin, the scent of fresh laundry mixed with mahogany, vanilla, and cashmere filled his nostrils, and in an instant, the tension in his shoulders dropped.

home. the living room was cleaned, and a few blankets on the leather sofa. you must've napped. a few records scattered around the record table, one still on the turntable, but the record had stopped playing long ago.

“baby? i’m home!” he calls out, not seeing any sign of your presence as he steps into the living room. it’s quiet, almost too quiet. bucky steps further in. “baby doll?”

the team steps in hesitantly, their hands hovering over whatever they have to defend themselves with. sharing puzzled glances with each other as bucky calls out to you.

you emerge from the stairway with a laundry basket on your hip. a quiet gasp gets caught in your throat as your eyes look past your boyfriend and see his co-workers. “what the..” you mutter, your eyes finally landing on bucky. “bucky?”

“we had nowhere else to go,” he explains, the wear and tear of fighting visible on his body. his eyes hold even more exhaustion than he let on.

you drop the laundry basket on the sofa and approach him, he hopes his arms and pulls you in, pressing a kiss on the top of your head.

yelena interrupts, “Im sorry..” the blonde holds out her hands, nose crunching with confusion. “what the hell is happening here?”

“yeah..what the hell is this?” walker stands behind yelena, his arms crossed now.

“guys, meet my girlfriend, y/n,” he introduced, holding you by his side. his thumb rubbing up and down your shoulders.

“hi..” you smile, holding up your hand to wave awkwardly. your freehand wrapping around buckys midsection.

the team is left speechless, all mouths are open, but no words are formed.

“girlfriend?!” yelena is flabbergasted, her eyes almost popping out of her head.

“oh! this is wonderful!! alexei is pushing past the other three, walking towards you with a big, dopey smile. “young love!” he cheered, clapping loudly.

you laugh awkwardly, again, because what do you do when the avengers are standing in your house?

“buck?” you look up at him, he had a less than amused look on his face.

“we just need some place to lay low, get patched up. i didn’t know what else to do.”

“ah, okay,” you pat his chest playfully, an amused laugh coming from you. “i can help with that.”

“girlfriend…” walker whispers as you begin leading the group downstairs to a makeshift med bay.

“shut it, walker!” buckys voice booms from a few feet ahead.

[xximperioxx]

One of me is cute, but two though?

Dr. Michael “Robby” Robinavitch x fem!reader

Word Count: 2.7k (not proofread)

Warnings: NSFW (18+ ONLY) age gap, swearing, fluff, established relationship, poorly written explicit smut, p in v, the slightest bit somnophilia, breeding kink, cockwarming?, female anatomy, male anatomy, unsafe sex, (let me know if I missed anything) MDNI 18+

Notes: pls be gentle with me this is my first time writing smut like this and Im so inexperienced it’s not funny. Enjoy the Sarah Paulson meme I put in there. Also I’ve been blown away by the love my work has recent gotten and I truly appreciate it. Anyways enjoy <3

Gif cred: @xxdrixx

———————————————————

You don’t exactly remember how you and Dr. Robinavitch got together. It started out with stolen glances and innocent touches at work and a kiss outside your apartment when he walked you home one night.

Today was busy and you were ready to go home. Except it wasn’t even noon yet.

You sit down at a computer with a huff. Your feet silently thanking you for a break. The sounds of the ED ringing in your ears as you try to focus on the screen in front of you. Your leg begins to bounce out of habit and your eyes look around the busy hospital.

Santos takes a seat at the computer across from you. She gives you a small smile. You return the gesture before your eyes look back at the computer and stare at the time. All you wanted to do was go back to Robby’s apartment and cuddle on the couch with your sweats on. With how this day was going the dream of your Friday night plans were beginning to fade away. Is an easy day so hard to ask for?

Collins catches your eye as she tries to soothe a crying baby. Robby tells her something before she carefully hands the child to him. Your eyes immediately gravitate seeing your boyfriend gently rocking the fussy infant. You perk up, now sitting up straight. If this wasn’t the hottest thing you’ve ever seen you don’t know what was. The two of you haven’t brought up the conversation of kids just yet.

You knew he was getting older and while you were still young, you weren’t sure of motherhood just yet. You’ve seen the horrors and heartbreak of childbirth in this hospital but you’ve also seen the light it brought to people. When the tears of pain turn into tears of joy. You’ve always imagined having a family but you never had a timeline. That was until you saw your man holding a baby right then.

You feel yourself grow hot and your pulse quickens. Suddenly, images of a future as a family with him flash through your mind. Being pregnant with Robby by your side, gently rocking your child to sleep, getting them ready school in the morning. You want it. All of it. God you wanted to climb like a tree right here.

The attending can feel someone’s eyes on him. His eyes search the room before they land on yours. His gently shushing comes to a stop. He gives you a confused look, not able to read your expression. Your lustful eyes soften as your face flushes from enamorment. You love him. You shake your head silently telling him it’s nothing.

He gives you a smile that says ‘I love you’ but a look that says you’ll be talking later. He continues to softly shush the infant in his arms before going to find the mother.

You don’t hear Collins approach the desk. She follows your gaze and lets out a laugh, “You okay there, Doc?”

Santos doesn’t look up from her computer, “She’s been like this for 5 minutes. Making bedroom eyes at Dr. Robby.”

“I think my body just had a physical reaction.” you joke.

Santos grimaced, “I don’t need to know about that. You keep that to yourself.” Collins lets out a snort as you scoff.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You let out a yelp as a hand pulls you into an unused room. The person pulls you into them. Out of reflex you start resisting. Which ends up to be you sadly hitting their chest.

“It’s just me– stop hitting me. Hey!” Robby grabs your hands, stopping you from hitting him more.

Your eyes widen in shock, “Are you trying to give me a heart attack?” Surprised turns to annoyance. You glare at him, “Why didn’t you just leave me a note like you normally do?”

He lets go of your hands and lets out a laugh. You try to fight turning your scowl into a stupid grin at his laugh.

His hands slither around your waist, pulling you flushed against him, “Is it so wrong for me to want a spontaneous moment alone with my beautiful girlfriend.” You roll your eyes as your hands reach up to rest on his chest.

He leans down and his lips meet yours for a gentle kiss.

He slowly pulls away after a few seconds, “We really need to get you trained on self defense because whatever that was earlier– was sad.”

You hit him again.

“Ow!”

You shut him up with a quick kiss, “Don’t be a wimp. I didn’t hit you that hard.” He grins.

His thumb sneaks under your scrub top and grazes the bare skin. Subconsciously, you feel your body shiver at his cold touch and lean into him closer. He smirks down at you. “What was with that look you gave me earlier?”

Your eyes look up at him with innocence, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

A pinch causes your hips to jerk. His fingers caress the area. You sigh and nervously play with his stethoscope around his neck. “It’s dumb.” You mumble.

He gives you a displeased look, “Trust me it’s not.”

You purse your lips and can feel your heart beating faster, “When you were holding that baby,” the image pops into your mind, “It made me realize I want that with you. Like really, really badly.”

Your boyfriend raises an eyebrow at you, not expecting that.

His face softens, “You want a baby with me?”

You nod.

“I want a family with you too.”

Your hands reach up and pull him down for a searing kiss. He kisses you back immediately.

The two of you slowly pull away to catch your breath.

Robby placed a kiss on your forehead, “I love you.”

Your face turns red at the thought of earlier. You laugh and hide your face in his chest. “Michael, I wanted to fuck you right then and there. It was so embarrassing.”

His laugh rumbles his chest. “So that’s what that look was.”

Your groan comes out muffled from his chest.

“Well, how about tonight when we get home,” his thumbs start tracing your skin again, “We can work on that. Plus, you’re ovulating…”

You pull away with a scoff, slightly amazed. “How the hell do you even know that?”

He shrugs, giving you a sheepish grin, “It’s the doctor in me…and the boyfriend in me.”

A knock interrupts you two. Dana’s voice rings out, “Robby! We got a teen. Respiratory arrest. ETA 2 minutes.”

You both pull away from each other. Robby runs his hands down his face before they drop to his side. He sighs.

You lift your hand to his cheek and bring his face to yours.You press a kiss to his other cheek. “I love you.”

He gives your hand a squeeze before walking out to prepare for the coming case. You pull out your phone for a minute, not wanting to make it obvious you were in the room with your attending alone.

You walk out of the room, mentally trying to prepare yourself for what’s to come for the rest of the shift. A body waiting outside the door scares you. Dana.

You greet her with a shy smile, “Hi, Dana.”

The charge nurse gives you a knowing smirk, “Hi, kid.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Robby waits outside the hospital by the bike rack with one AirPod in. He focuses on McVie’s bass while ‘The Chain’ plays in his ear, blocking out the thoughts of his shift. His eyes follow the headlights of the cars passing the building.

You see Robby standing with his hands in his sweatshirt pockets. As if he could feel you coming, he looks up to meet your tired eyes. He greets you with a faint smile.

“Sorry, Collins stopped me on my way out about one of my patients.”

You didn’t want to tell him that the actual conversation was. It was just Collins leaning into you in passing with a “I hope it sticks tonight” ,a cheeky grin, and thumbs up for luck. All while you gaped at her.

You reach for his hand as you begin the walk to his place. Like most days when you and Robby share the same shift, the two of you walk to his apartment in comfortable silence. Robby normally listened to music to clear his head as you paid attention to the night life of the city.

Robby opens the door to his apartment and walks in after you. After dropping your bag at the table, you walk over to the door and take off your shoes. Out of the corner of your eye you see Robby walking over to you with a smolder.

He goes to reach for you but your hand stops him, “We are not doing anything until I am out of these scrubs and we have food in our stomachs because I know you didn’t eat anything today but a granola bar.”

Robby sighs in disappointment and you let out a snicker. He opens the fridge and pulls out leftovers as you grab two plates out of the cabinet.

The two of you eat while sharing conversations about positive things about your shifts. He brings up working with Whittaker as you share how your cases with Santos went well.

After you both finish, Robby picks up both of your plates as you start putting away the food you didn’t eat, “Do you mind if I take a quick shower?”

You wave him off and he gives you a quick peck on the lips before you start working on the dishes. After a bit, the kitchen is now clean. It had been a mess since this morning when the two of you left in a rush for work. You finish washing your hands before throwing the paper towel in the trash. The water had stopped a while ago and figured Robby had gotten ready for bed.

You make your way to the bedroom and find Robby sitting against the headboard in his boxers with a book in his hands. He glances up at you, his readers resting on his nose,“Thank you for cleaning, honey.”

He reaches his arm out to you. Walking over, you lean down and give him a quick kiss. “I’m going to shower. I’ll be quick.”

You come out of the bathroom feeling refreshed, wearing Robby’s bathrobe and some spare panties you had in the apartment. Rummaging through his dresser for a shirt, you feel Robby’s eyes on you. You laugh, “Stop looking at me like a teenage boy.”

“I can’t help it.” You glance down at the bulge growing in his boxers.

He motions you over and you immediately follow. You climb over him with ease, now straddling him. He notices your dilated pupils and how your breathing deepens. His calloused fingers trail from your thighs up to your hips.

Your eyes move from his eyes to his lips once more before leaning down and capturing his lips with yours. He kisses you back feverishly.

His fingers quickly untie the robe. He slips it off you and tosses it across the room. You let out a whimper as his hands immediately grasp at your breasts. Your kiss gets interrupted by your phone ringing from the other room.

You shake your head, “Ignore it.”

He leaves kisses down your neck. His teeth scraping, leaving you out of breath. You subconsciously begin to grind your hips. He lets out a groan before gently biting down on your pulse point.

His fingers push aside your panties. “Fuck,” He choked a groan feeling how wet you were.

You let out a whimper as his fingers collected your wetness. His thumb gently brushes against your clit. You fall into him with a gasp.

Your ringtone interrupts you again. You pull away with a sigh.

Robby’s hands rest on your hips. “Go get it. It could be important. Besides, I’m not going anywhere. ” you nod before he gives your hips a squeeze as you get off him.

You quickly grab an old junky shirt from his dresser. Your footsteps pad against the hardwood to the kitchen and you pick up your phone. You see two missed calls and a message from your mom. Call me.

What you thought was an important call ended up being 15 minutes of your mom trying to catch up and you repeating you would call her tomorrow. The ‘call me’ was just to tell you that she and dad got a new dog. You wanted to slam your head against the wall.

You come back into the bedroom with a snort, ready to tell your boyfriend what happened. You stop to find him asleep leaning against the headboard with his mouth slightly open. Soft snores fill the room. You let out a quiet laugh.

You turn the light off by his bedside and carefully take off his reading glasses before crawling into bed with him. You aimlessly scroll on your phone, looking at social media.

You don’t feel him shift, his head finally sinking into his pillow, “I’m sorry,” he mumbles.

You roll onto your side and face him.

“For being tired after a long shift?”

He grumbles and you snuggle into him with your head laying on his bare chest. “It’s okay, I’m tired too,” you reassure him while stifling a yawn. He lays a gentle kiss on the top of your head. You both fall asleep within minutes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you woke up in the morning you were expecting it to be the smell of coffee and not your boyfriend copping a feel. Your eyes flutter open to see Robby’s fingers carefully massaging your breasts under your shirt, gently pinching your nipples. All while pressing kisses down your neck.

His hardened cock rubs against you. You let out a tired laugh before turning to face him, “Well, good morning to you.”

He gives you a boyish grin. He watches as you climb on top of him. In the same position as last night. “Good morning, hon.”

Your fingers graze his bulge before giving it a squeeze, “You weren’t joking about trying for a baby right away.”

Robby shakes his head while biting his lip trying not to moan. Noticing the damp spot on your panties, his rough fingers brush against your clothed clit, “Not wasting any time.”

You let out a whimper. “P-Perfect.”

He slides your panties down and you awkwardly take them off before he takes his boxers off. His cock springs against his stomach. You lower your hips. Robby grips your hips once more and you gently begin to move. Your slickness now coating his thick member as your pussy slowly rubs up and down. Your hand covers your mouth as you let out a muffled moan when your clit brushes against his tip.

Robby throws his head back, “Fuck, sweetheart,” he groans, “if you keep this up. I-I can’t cum in you.”

You nod. You don’t think you can form a sentence right now. Your body was on fire. Your hips lift as Robby guides himself to your entrance. You let out a whine at the same time Robby lets out a breathy moan as you slowly sink down on him. Every inch stretching you as if it’s your first time together again.

You slowly begin to move your hips up and down as you ride him. After a few seconds you feel yourself grow tired and slow down. Robby lets out a chuckle.

“Don’t laugh. I’m doing all the work, old man.” His fingers find your clit and gives it a soft pinch. You let out a shaky gasp. “Don’t be mean.” You warn.

Your hands scratch at his chest as his hips begin to thrust up meeting yours. The sounds coming from his mouth edge you closer to finishing.

“Fuck, I’m close,” Robby warns with a grunt. His hooded eyes staring at your blissful face. His thumb rubs small circles on your clit.

“Oh fuck, Michael- baby,” you whine as he speeds up his thumb motion.

After a few more thrusts, Robby cums inside you with a guttural moan. Your release follows shortly after, loudly moaning as you feel him cum. Your hips continue to grind, riding out your bliss.

Suddenly, you feel heavy as your orgasm bliss wears off. Your muscles screaming at you. Panting, you tiredly slump on top of Robby. He gently rubs your back still inside you. The two of you even your breathing.

You lay in comfortable silence as you listen to his heartbeat. Robby draws shapes on your back. The sun peaks through a crevice of the blackout curtains.

“I feel good about that one,” you joke, “Having two of me will be a handful for you.”

Getting a second wind, Robby flips you both over. Now smirking down at you on your back, “We should keep trying…just to be safe.”

[rafey-baby]

c/w: stalker!rafe being creepy & stealing reader’s underwear, suggestive texts from an unknown number & a stranger walking her home, 18+ mdni!

wc: 2.3k

he’s been on my mind lately…happy kinktober xx

moodboard

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The feeling of impending doom has been crawling up her bones for several weeks now.

At first, she thought it was merely her imagination playing tricks on her—thinking every creak of a floorboard was a murderer after watching one too many horror films with her friends. However, as the days went on and the feeling of unease continued, she began to feel paranoid. 

She kept feeling like someone was watching her; lurking in the shadowy corners of her house and following her every movement with a curious gaze glued to her form whether she was out with friends or in the process cleaning her living room. And she didn’t like it one bit—couldn’t pinpoint when it began but she wanted nothing more than for the peculiar feeling to disappear.

She’d be getting ready for bed and changing her clothes when suddenly a shiver would tingle along her spine and make her snap her head towards her window—trying to desperately catch some creep ogling her, so she’d finally have some sort of an explanation. But instead, she’d be met with nothing more than the leafy trees of her gloomy backyard glaring back at her before quickly drawing the curtains closed. 

In addition, she’s been having nightmares more often than usual; waking up in the middle of the night with labored breathing and heart in her throat. And sometimes she swears she can still feel the eyes of a stranger lingering on her sweaty skin. 

Then one night, when she’s rinsing her mouth after brushing her teeth, her phone lights up with a notification.

unknown number

why are your bedroom curtains never open anymore?

look so pretty in your underwear…

4 attachments

The device clatters against the bathroom tiles when it slips from her hold after her eyes have scanned over the multiple pictures of her half naked. They’re all taken through the glass of the large window in her room—a window she’s made sure to keep covered at all times lately.

She plucks it from the floor with trembling fingers and reads over the messages once more—distressed heart rapidly thudding in her ribcage making it hard for her to think as her fingertips glide across the screen. 

you

who is this?

im gonna call the cops

unknown number

do I scare you?

And instead of responding, she blocks the number. However, when the police arrive and search her house and her backyard, they don’t find anything. They merely tell her that it’s ’probably nothing serious, just some kid pulling a prank on you’ with an apologetic smile before leaving. 

A couple of days go by, and she’s beginning to believe that maybe it was truly someone playing tricks on her when all of a sudden, her phone vibrates with an incoming call from another unknown number while she’s boiling pasta for dinner.

And this time, she decides to ignore it, choosing to believe it’s someone simply calling the wrong number for her own peace of mind. However, that’s long forgotten when a new message illuminates the screen—making her breath get caught in her throat when she reads it over. 

unknown number

breaking my heart here princess :(

you

leave me alone

unknown number

but that’s no fun, is it?

you

what do u want from me?

unknown number

want you to keep your curtains open

you

so u can take more pictures of me?

unknown number

can just watch if that’s what you prefer?

you

leave me alone

please

She doesn’t wait for a response before turning off her phone for the rest of the night. And she thinks he’s actually listened because no unknown numbers try to contact her for some time, causing her to grow less anxious by each silent day that rolls around. However, when she begins to notice that pairs of her underwear keep mysteriously disappearing, her mind wanders over to the only person who could be behind it.

At first, she doesn’t think too much of the fact that she can’t seem to find her favorite panties anywhere, assuming she’s merely misplaced them. However, when a white lacy pair she saves for special occasions vanishes next, she grows restless. If she hasn’t worn it in months, it should be in her drawer where she left it, right?

And the air suddenly feels like sand—poking at her lungs as if it’s filled with tiny rocks when she becomes painfully aware of the fact that in order for him to steal her stuff, he’s had to break into her home. Which means that he’s been in her bedroom before, and probably her kitchen, living room and bathroom as well. And the first time could’ve easily been weeks ago.

Nausea steeped in dread grovels up her insides and sits heavy in her stomach at the realization that he could be in here right now. But if he wanted to hurt her, he would’ve done it by now—or at least that’s what she keeps telling herself in an attempt to offer some kind of solace to her troubled thoughts.

- - - - - - - - - -

The following night, she’s wiping her eyes clean of mascara when a text pops up.

psycho stalker

someone came home late

have fun on your date?

Chills erupt on her skin when she peers down at the screen. But after the all too tedious date she’s just had, she’s entirely too exhausted for his gruesome mind games right now—simply wants to bury herself under her covers and close her eyes for an eternity.

However, she’s not entirely convinced he won’t come up with another way to disturb her if she stops responding altogether, which is why she decides to entertain him for a little while.

psycho stalker

assuming not too much fun since you didn’t bring him home..

you

none of ur business 

psycho stalker

was he boring?

talked about himself the whole time and didn’t ask a single question about you?

She blinks a few times because he’s not exactly wrong. How on earth did he— 

you

what the fuck is wrong with u

ur following me now??

She tries to remember whether she saw anyone suspicious at the restaurant, but she can’t recall anything out of the ordinary catching her attention. However, she wasn’t aware she was supposed to keep her eyes open for her possible stalker, which is why her brain isn’t being very helpful at the moment.

psycho stalker

just wanted to make sure you were safe

you

yeah well i feel very safe right now thank you

psycho stalker

someone’s got an attitude

that bad?

you

please just leave me alone 

psycho stalker

okay

if you tell me the color of your panties

you

what the hell?

im not telling u that

psycho stalker

want me to come over and find out for myself then? 

you

u wouldn’t do that 

psycho stalker

wanna bet?

She tries to even out her respiration because she does not want to find out whether he’s merely toying with her or if he’s actually being serious. 

you

…

black

psycho stalker

with the lace?

you

i don’t even wanna know how u know that but yes

psycho stalker

shit

that’s one of my favorites on you

you

ur sick in the head

psycho stalker

that’s not very nice

did you wear them for him?

you

he wasn’t even worth it

don’t think he would’ve been able to make me come if he tried

psycho stalker

yeah?

need help with that?

you

not from u

creep

why are u stealing my underwear?

psycho stalker

cause you don’t give me shows anymore :(

i mean they’re a little dirty now but want me to return them?

you

ur disgusting

psycho stalker

and you’re up past your bedtime cause you like talking to me

you

i don’t

u promised to leave me alone right?

psycho stalker

you’re the one texting me right now

you

cause u won’t leave me alone

can u just keep ur promise? im gonna sleep now

psycho stalker

sweet dreams princess

And after that, she finally locks her phone—wishing she’ll actually be granted some well needed rest tonight.

- - - - - - - - - - -

Then one night, she’s walking home from the grocery store—mind occupied with the prospect of digging into the tub of strawberry ice cream in her bag while messaging a friend who’s telling her the details of a kiss she shared with a girl she’d had a crush on for ages—when completely out of the blue, she bumps into someone.

“Oh, m’so sorry,” she’s quick to apologize before she blinks up, meeting blue sapphires that twinkle even under the dim street lamps—slightly covered by the guy’s chocolate hair falling into his face before he rakes a hand through the strands. And the nearly surprised raise of his brows doesn’t really make any sense to her because she’s never seen him before.

“S’all good—wasn’t, uh, wasn’t really lookin’ either,” he rasps while his intense gaze bores into her, almost as if he’s studying her, examining her every reaction. 

“No, it was my fault, shouldn’t be texting and walking at the same time,” she forces out a laugh and attempts to step away from him to continue her journey, but then he speaks up again.   

“Shouldn’t be walkin’ alone this late either, you know? All kinds of creeps out there just waitin’ for the opportunity to attack pretty girls like you,” he reminds her with a strange tinge in his voice, causing the hairs on her arms to stand.  

She’s unable to pinpoint what it is exactly—thinks his features are otherwise quite appealing but then there’s something almost disturbing about his aura. 

“I know, but it’s really just a ten-minute walk. I’ll be fine,” she offers him a tight smile, timidly fiddling with the strap of her shopping bag.  

“Why don’t I walk you home, yeah?” his seemingly genuine offer comes off as something other than concern over her safety in the stillness of the darkened October sky, making unease litter across her skin.  

“Thank you but I think m’okay,” she politely declines before trying to tiptoe away from his intimidating presence, albeit uselessly.  

“S’past midnight already, let me walk you,” he nearly insists, seemingly not accepting no for an answer with his tone resembling more of a demand now. 

“O—okay, um…sure,” she swallows around the words and watches the corners of his mouth tug up. What has she gotten herself into? For all she knows, this man could be a serial killer and she’s just signed up her fate as his next victim. 

The murky sidewalk they tread along is quiet while she keeps glancing over to him every now and then—an attempt to reassure herself that a knife or a gun hasn’t magically appeared in his hand without her noticing.

Although, she thinks he wouldn’t need a weapon to drag her helpless form into the woods with his much stronger arms—under the obscurity provided by the trees, he could easily strangle her until her soul withers away, getting his fix from leaving her limp body on the muddy moss as death kisses her cold, tear-streaked cheeks.  

“Somethin’ on your mind?” his sudden question makes her flinch. 

“N—no, nothing. I just…have we met before?” she hesitantly asks, turning to look at him and noticing his gaze already resting on her face.  

“M’sure I’d remember if we had,” his response is calm, too calm for her liking.  

“S’just that—well, it’s a small neighborhood and I’ve never seen you around?” she flits her eyes over his features, trying to figure him out. 

“I don’t live here,” his tongue peeks out to wet his bottom lip; the vague answer not soothing her racing mind in the slightest.  

“Oh, okay...cool,” she peeps out, trying to appear as nonchalant as ever, even if her breathing has turned fragmented and her head is spinning.

A gruesome smirk morphs his mouth in response, and for some reason he appears to be enjoying this—finding crooked entertainment in her dismay. Then, he halts in front of her home before she’s even digested that they’ve already arrived to her destination.  

“How did you—how did you know this was my house?”

“Lucky guess,” he merely shrugs with a smile that’s nowhere near comforting. 

She swallows.

“Right, well, thanks for walking me...m’gonna go now,” she squeaks out before taking a tentative step towards her front yard.  

“Sweet dreams, princess.”

“What did you just say?” her entire form tenses in response to the familiarity of the nickname—something dire bubbling up in her throat at the bizarre sense of deja vu. 

“Jus’ wished you a good night…you feelin’ alright?” he furrows his brows in what should appear as concern for her wellbeing, but she hesitates upon noticing something twisted glinting in his overly worried eyes—almost like some sort of sick satisfaction.  

“I’m—m’fine. Just…tired, I guess,” she manages out, a crease forming between her brows when his mouth curls.  

“You sure?” he places a heavy hand on her arm, suddenly far too close for comfort and causing her to flinch before she’s attempting to pull away—stumbling on wobbly feet and nearly tumbling down onto the harsh grass, if not for his stronger arms holding her upright by her waist. 

“Careful now, don’t wanna hurt yourself, do you?” he scolds her with a click of his tongue while steadying her.

“Sorry,” the breathy apology escapes her lips before her eyes flicker down to where his touch is burning her skin, even through the thick material of her sweater. 

“Run along then, yeah?” he murmurs, letting her go with a small push towards the right direction.   

And she doesn’t need to be told twice before she’s scurrying over to her doorstep, feeling his eerie stare following her while trepidation clogs her lungs. Deciding against glancing towards him once more, she closes her front door and makes sure it’s locked, twice.

[n3ptoonz]

'Atta Girl'

Pairing: Criminal!Bucky/Avenger!Reader

Fandom: MCU - AU

Warnings/tags: Smut; Explicit, female reader, dirty talk, use of "baby," steve mentioned, wall sex, weed, half proofread; written on a whim, might be some continuity errors cause i was trying to make it fit in the mcu context but fuck it we ball

‼️this is experimental post, i've posted this exact fic for another character seb did (the one in the gif) but nobody gaf cause it's not a popular character SO im seeing how this does if i give it to bucky instead

side note - he looks SO FUCKING HOT IN THAT GIF😭😭😭

Word count: 1.3k+

second part here

Bucky lit the blunt between his lips before taking a drag, blowing the smoke before looking up at you from where he was sitting. "You gonna talk or just stand there?" he asked.

"I need one of your guys." you said. "Steve Rogers. He killed innocents, Bucky."

"I know what he did." he said, tapping the ash into a nearby tray. "If it makes you feel better, he regrets it deeply."

"It doesn't. I have a job to do." you pressed, crossing your arms with a deep frown. You absolutely hated when he talked like that--but hey, what did you really expect from a literal gang leader?

"Oh, you do, do you? Now that matters?" he says with a chuckle.

You sighed and ran your hand over her face. "We had a deal-"

"-That you would leave us alone as long as I supply you weed...sometimes good dick." he said, standing up after placing his blunt carefully on the tray. "You took the bribe, sweetheart. There are no demands in this business," he added, tipping your chin up with his index finger as he smirked at your silence. "You're lucky I even let you green out with me. One peep outta me and you could lose that precious title of yours forever."

Your jaw clenched when he leaned over to grab his blunt again and stepped closer, holding the blunt to your lips.

"Relax," he said softly, to coax you into whatever he was trying to accomplish. You sighed and took a drag while he was still holding it before blowing it slowly away from his face. His growing grin made your stomach turn and made warmth bloom between your legs.

"Atta girl," he purred and took a step back to lean on the kitchen counter. "You know I'll handle all this as long as you keep your mouth shut, yeah? Now, as hot as this exchange was, surely you didn't drive all the way downtown just to give me a good talking to. Why are you really here?"

He was absolutely right. You could've easily rang his burner, talked, maybe flirt a little bit before going on about your day. But you've been engaging in this...entanglement for about, what, a month now? There was more than the grass. More than the way he said your name like honey dripped from his lips. More than the simple fact that you're a damn Avenger and he's a criminal. You made your bed, so lay in it.

"Don't wanna admit it, huh?" he chimed, snapping you out of the fog that invaded your mind--made you even consider how possibly stupid you looked zoning out like that.

"What are you on about?" you prompted. Big mistake.

"That you missed me." he said nonchalantly, like it was common knowledge to everyone but you. "That you missed us. Missed me all over you while you were high out of your mind. Missed the way I flicked my-"

"Alright, now you're pushing it." you interrupted him with your hand up. At the very least, you stood your ground. Well, that was until he leaned forward to look you in your eyes.

"Then...is this where I start pulling it?" he asked, his tone weirdly soft. Weirdly low and rough. Weirdly making you want to climb him like a tree and never come down.

"That's enough, Bucky."

Bucky watched you say that while making no effort to walk away. He gestured with his hand in a 'So...?' manner, essentially calling you on your bullshit.

"Okay, so go." he said as he jutted his chin towards the door. "You don't wanna deal with me, ya don't have to." he shrugged and took a long puff. When you visibly looked like you were considering your options, weighing the amount of trouble you'll be in with yourself if you choose to stay or go the rest of the day feeling empty, he leaned up off the counter with a sigh after putting out the blunt. He gently grabbed your jaw to make you face him, a solid, grounding kiss following. He backed up to check on your reaction, as if the very subtle kissing him back didn't tell him everything. He smiled again and chuckled.

"That's what I thought." he murmured softly and kissed you again, this time more needy on his end. His tongue pushed into your mouth like it had a mind of its own, but that was almost the truth. In the past month, you've fucked quite a bit. Each time somehow better than the last. It was never only the weed. Never only his generosity, considering your career. It was his touch. His passion. The...fuck, it's everything.

Both your clothes were off in seconds, barely breaking that kiss as you were hoisted into his strong, tatted arms against the wall and fucked like you'd never see each other again. Like one of you was going away on a voyage and this was your last chance at something physical; grounding.

You clung to him as he handled you perfectly, snug around his shaft like your bodies were welded together. He could get drunk off your breathy, raspy moans alone.

"Come on, baby, take it from me," he grunted quietly into the crook of your neck. "This what you needed, huh? No upstanding gentleman up at the towers satiate you like a low down, dirty criminal, right?"

You groaned and gently bit down on his shoulder in response as your legs wrapped around his waist tighter. He chuckled to himself and slowed down just to have you sink down completely onto his pelvis. You lifted your head up and panted as you looked at him confused.

"What the fuck are you doing?" you said. Though it came out more strained and breathless than you intended.

"Answer me." he demanded, loving that wild look of irritation etched on your face. It suited you. "Nobody can fuck on you like I can. True or false?" he prompted with an intentional roll of his hips. Your head gently hit the wall when he did that to try and stay in reality.

"You're right," you said with a lick of your lips and looked him in his eyes again, cupping his face with both hands to give him a tender kiss or two. You rested your forehead against his and smiled a bit. "Nobody fucks like you, Bucky."

He hummed in response and ran his hand up your spine just to feel you shiver, your skin leaving goosebumps in its wake.

"Fuck, say it again," he muttered and started making that steady pace once more. "Please." he begged, your name falling off his lips like a prayer. He was so close to the edge and you were going to bring him there. Bucky was determined to, and he could feel it from that familiar grip tightening around his dick.

You repeated those words with a higher pitched tone as he began to hit that spot he never failed to find. Your eyes tightly fluttering shut indicated you were seconds away.

"One more time. Just-" he held you tighter and panted against your mouth, "One more."

"Nobody- mm," you stumbled on your words but you had to match his determination. There was a bit of a struggle but you managed to get the sentence out, causing him to moan loudly and kiss you sloppily. He pulled out just in time before he came, but that didn't stop your orgasm from hitting you like a truck. He never let you go, but, think about it. He never does. He needed you just as badly as you needed him. You could barely breathe as your body tried to calm down. Making out with him just was...fucking magical.

Finally, after a few moments you two backed away. Chests heaving. Sweat dripping. The smell of weed and sex permeating the air, it was a good fucking evening. He let you down carefully while you still caught your breath. A small gasp left your lips when you felt his hands grip your hips and flip your stance to face the wall. He leaned in close, pressing himself between your legs and sucked a light hickey on your neck.

"I'm not done with you yet."

[goodnightunclegrumpy]

Your Needs, My Needs

pairing: joel miller x f!reader

wc: 6.5k

summary: Joel and Ellie find you on their way to Jackson and while a bond grows, you struggle with how Joel makes you feel. Tensions build while living together in Jackson, forcing it all to the surface one day.

warnings: no use of y/n, family death (reader's), suicide attempt (reader), dissociation, lil stubborn ellie, swearing, angst, some mean!joel, yearning like crazy, fluff, mentions of blood, wound cleaning, drinking/alcohol, fighting, hopeful ending

A/N: hello! this is my first ever Joel Miller fan fic and also my first time ever sharing my writing online. i was deeply inspired by multiple things, a big one being the song "Your Needs, My Needs" by Noah Kahan so it is emo as hell (much like myself). im so nervous but excited to share this, i hope its worth your time! i had fun writing it. lastly, id love any kind of feedback! it would mean a lot, thank you and enjoy <3

When you met Joel and Ellie they thought you were dead at first, until you made the smallest movement.

You had just buried your brother. You sat at his fresh grave and just never moved. It never even crossed your mind. Eventually you ended up laying down. The sun and moon said their hellos and goodbyes over and over and over while you just...never moved. You felt your body ache, your bones burn from the cold, your throat go dry, your stomach twisting in itself out of sheer emptiness. Vivid leaves had fallen from the trees, covering your body. It was gentle, a kindness. As if the earth itself was tucking you into bed. 

You had detached so far from your own body that their voices didn’t even register at first. It was as if you were under water. They were right in front of you and yet miles away. It was a man and a girl. In any other circumstance a man this large holding a gun at you would make you and your brother go for your weapons. But this wasn’t that. Your brother was long gone. After everything, after all this time, he died from an infected. So no, seeing this large man pointing a gun at you meant nothing to you.

You just looked at him with a hollow glare then at the girl and then back at him. You only blinked. That was all you cared to do while they kept trying to talk to you. They seemed so worried and you couldn’t understand why. You finally started to focus on their voices as the girl leaned forward to hand over a bottle of water. The man kept shooing her back until you heard a sharp “fuck off, Joel, she clearly needs it!” from the girl so he intercepted, holstering his gun, taking the water from her and cautiously moving towards you.

“Ain’t sure if you want this but...here’s some water.” The man lifted a clear plastic bottle slightly to show you and then placed it on the ground near your body. You looked at him and then the sky. He backed up to stand next to the young girl.

“We’re gonna stay over here, alright? Not tryin’ to bother ya, just have a girl here who can’t seem to let things go.” You heard the girl hit the man and scold him then he continued. “Swear we’ll be on our way when we know you’re alright, that’s all.”  It was admirable and foolish. His humanness. Both of them. You’d laugh if you had the will to move. 

They stopped. They’re giving you their water. They don’t have to do this. They don’t have to but they are. It pissed you off. You didn’t want their help. You wanted to die. You wanted to stop. You had enough. You didn’t want this. 

“Uh, hey?” The girl spoke. 

“Ellie-” 

“Joel, please.” There was a beat of silence. You just listened to the leaves fluttering, almost whispering, in the wind. The girl carried on. 

“Listen, you’re clearly not infected. You’ve been here long enough that the leaves are piling up, you would’ve turned by now. I’m guessing you’re probably hungry and thirsty and sore and can’t move without a fuck load of pain. And I saw the shovel...” Your stomach turned and stabbed, tears building in your eyes. “I just...we’re going somewhere-” 

“Ellie!” The man interrupted, seemingly much angrier but she ignored him. 

“We’re going to a place called Jackson! Come to Jackson!” The man was actively trying to stop her from saying more. You couldn’t blame him, really. 

“Jesus Christ, Ellie, enough!” The man finally got a hold of her. They argued but you really just hoped they would leave you alone. 

You closed your eyes. You were so tired, you felt yourself decaying. As the sky tried to pierce through your eyelids, you kept seeing your brother. He seemed like he was right there, waiting for you so you reached for him but he backed away. He looked so angry. You couldn’t speak, couldn’t tell him you’re sorry, that you did everything you could, that you felt like an open wound. Suddenly you felt something touch your hand so you quickly opened your eyes. The large man was kneeling next to you and carefully holding your hand. You rapidly blinked and the tears fell. You had lifted your hand towards the sky but were only able to get your forearm off the ground. 

His eyes flicked to yours as he took the water and placed it in your hand he was holding and slowly moved it toward you. You couldn’t stop shaking as you carried the bottle to your mouth. The man’s hand went to your shoulder to help you sit up on your elbow. Every part of your body was wailing, it was like it couldn’t decide if it wanted the water or not. If it wanted to keep going or not. This man was offering you a choice. You paused, just holding the bottle for a moment.

“I understand.” He said. 

You glanced at him, taking a second to process what he said. You looked back to the ground and your hand. It felt like a losing battle. There was only silence as you slowly took a sip, allowing tiny streams of water to creep down your throat. The girl smiled and kneeled down by your feet. “So…what’s your name?” 

Ellie had asked you that simple question but it was like a blood pact. They took you in for their journey to Jackson from there. You kept your distance but it didn’t take long for a bond to form. You watched Ellie ask endless questions as well as annoy him to hell and back with puns, Joel proudly showed her that he found Chef Boyardee and you couldn’t help but soften. You deeply respected and admired the way Joel took care of Ellie. You always waited for it to go wrong, for him to do something sinister, you were prepared for it but that time never came. He kept making sure she slept, ate, and used her gun properly. He even let her stop to look for comic books along the way. Who did that these days?

One of the nights before getting to Jackson was the hardest aka the night you realized. You were all exhausted, ran into way too many clickers that day and finally found a safe place to rest for the night. It was a vast open field with trees lining the area. The moon was full and stars filled the sky. You sighed as you sat down, happy to be able to. Ellie couldn’t stop staring at the sky. Joel couldn’t stop watching her. In the distance there was a long howl. 

“Oh shit” Ellie whispered. Joel scowled for a moment, waiting. 

“Should we be worried?” You asked him. 

“No, they’re far enough.” You nodded and let yourself relax. You made it this far, you trusted him. 

“I’ve always loved wolves.” You blurted out. Ellie and Joel looked over at you. “The pack mentality. The way they howl to find each other and it keeps their bond strong...” You trailed off, hit with a thought of your brother. They both looked away from you, silence filling the air. The tone shift was frigid and you couldn’t get a read on either of them. You saw the look on Ellie’s face and it squeezed like a vice on your heart. You suddenly had an idea. You stood up and proceeded to howl as loud as you could. 

“Jesus!” Joel yelled at you and Ellie started giggling. 

When you stopped you smiled deviously. You raised your brows and gestured to Ellie for her to howl. It took zero convincing but Ellie started howling next. You carried on howling with her and Joel shook his head but you saw the smirk on his face. You felt a flutter in your stomach at the sight and a sense of pride. This warm cocoon of Joel’s safety and attention was a place you never wanted to leave. It was a harsh realization, one you weren’t prepared for and arguably the worst possible outcome. You weren’t quite sure what to do with it so you did nothing at all. The important thing was staying alive and everyone making it to Jackson in one piece. Which you did. 

Jackson was a mix of dreams and nightmares for you. Joel and Ellie said they had been here before but not you. The walls were so big, there was so much noise, there were so many people and they had so many guns. Joel told you to let him do the talking unless a woman named Maria asked you a question. You obeyed him. The side eyes from everyone made you fold into yourself, trying to hide in your own skin. You watched Joel hug a man who looked eerily like him and a pregnant woman stood with them. They looked so happy, they were laughing, and it made your breath catch for a moment. This place was really okay? Would Ellie lie to you? Would Joel? 

They graciously put you all in the same house. You couldn’t fathom being separated from Joel and Ellie. You knew the safest place was with them and they respected that. Maria was kind as was Tommy, the man Joel had hugged. His brother. They managed to find you a job, something to ease you in. It was just a cleaning job at the bar in town but it was enough responsibility they felt comfortable giving you and you felt comfortable taking. 

In the 6 months you have lived there, you settle in nicely. Sure, it took a while, there’s no doubt about that but you found your place. Your new job ended up being perfect for you. You grew closer to your coworkers to the point where you would have outings with them. You had friends, a social life, they made you feel human again. You got promoted to bartender after more new people joined Jackson. You were so proud, the first people you wanted to tell were Joel and Ellie. But it was hard, everyone was trying to figure out their new normal. Joel was trying to be a father to Ellie, but he was isolating. He encouraged Ellie to work, and she did, but he kept to himself. He would do patrols, have the occasional meeting with Tommy and go home. 

Being in the house ended up being your least favorite thing. It wasn’t anyone’s fault, not really. In the midst of this new quiet domestic life, you were forced to confront how you felt when you were there.

One of those moments being about a month after settling in to Jackson when Joel stopped you before work one morning. You jogged down the stairs of the house, going for your jacket when Joel appeared from the kitchen.

“Oh, hey” You tried to force a casual smile as if seeing Joel wasn’t the best part of your day.

Joel wouldn’t admit it but any time he got to see you he would memorize the look on your face when you saw him, the look only he got. The smile that would start as the one given to anybody in town but then spreads through your whole body. To your uncertain eyes that would soften. Your tight shoulders that would drop and relax. Your anxious, trembling hands that would settle. Your entire nervous system would halt its thrashes merely because of Joel’s arrival. He could never forget that. He just pretended he could.

“Hey.” Joel looked awkward to you. He couldn't entirely hold eye contact. “Uh, I know you’re headin’ out but ya mind if I pick your brain on somethin’?” You paused, unsure of where this was going.

“Sure, yeah, what is it?” You held your jacket in your arms and leaned back against the door. Joel shifted his weight slightly, fiddling with his hands in the process. He looked so small, which was very rare. You couldn’t help but smile.

“Uh, well…Ellie’s birthday is comin’ up actually and I…I wanted to do somethin’ for it. For her. Somethin’ good…special. I don’t know, maybe it’s stupid…” Joel started to trail off and turn away but you jumped in, pushing yourself off the door.

“Joel, no! That’s not stupid at all. I’m sure Ellie would love that. Did you have anything in mind?” He turned back to face you and didn’t speak at first. He just looked at you with this puppy dog stare. 

“No. No, I don’t.” He seemed a bit deflated once he said it. “I- it's been a while since I’ve…celebratin’ a birthday, celebratin’ anything anymore…I ain’t got a damn clue.” He started to look a bit resigned now, almost frustrated with himself. Your heart ached at it. You let the moment linger and looked away from him to think. Something Ellie would enjoy, something special, something you’d get for someone’s birthday before…then it hit you. 

“Cake.” Joel whipped his head to you, listening intently. “Make her a cake.” You clarified with a smirk. Joel started to smile then he stopped. 

“Wait, I don’t know the first thing about how to make a damn cake.” He looked a bit panicked. You shook your head and giggled.

“I’m sure you don’t but you can ask the kitchen staff.” You smiled proudly at him and his smile came right back. 

“Thank you.” Joel said quietly, almost a whisper. His broad shoulders dropped and his hands fell to his sides. You saw something in his eyes. It was hypnotizing and luring you in.

“Thank you for asking.” You replied at the same volume. Silence lingered for a moment as you both watched each other. 

“I’ll let you go now.” Joel said. You just blinked at him, struggling to hide the disappointment but you did actually have to go to work so you obliged.

“Oh, right, yeah…work.” You stumbled as you turned to the front door. As you grabbed the door knob and opened the door, Joel called your name. You turned back to him as he walked over then held his arms out. He had a somewhat shy but determined expression on his face. It took you a second to process what he was initiating but then you promptly wrapped your arms around his torso and he wrapped his arms around you, warms hands on your back. 

It was hard not to close your eyes and breathe him in. It was the first time you had been this close to Joel and it was exactly what you needed. He was firm but soft. The way he held you was so secure but gentle. His breathing was like steady waves hitting sand. He smelled like fresh cedar and coffee. You knew then that you never wanted to let go and that was when he did. Joel pulled back and tucked his hands in his pockets as you just smiled at each other before quickly exiting as fast as you could.

Thoughts of Joel and that day replayed in your head for the months following. Seeing pieces of him around the house were constant, loud reminders echoing in your head. It would outwardly manifest itself in ways like making Joel coffee in the morning or packing him food for patrol and you’d catch yourself doing it but it felt good. You wanted to do this for him. Joel noticed. He always did but he couldn’t say anything about it. He wouldn’t let himself admit it had an impact on him. That you had an effect on him. 

It got to a point where you and Joel started growing apart. He pulled away more. You chalked it up to him trying to be a good dad to Ellie, you made as many excuses for him as you needed to feel okay about it. Anything to make it sting a little less, keep you up at night a little less, get drunk a little less. You ate meals alone, had coffee alone, did most things at home alone. 

In fact, you were about to do another thing alone. To be fair you wanted to do this alone. Your boots were falling apart and you needed to borrow some of Joel’s tools to repair them. It felt like a better idea to do this while he wasn’t home instead of bothering him. You knew he would be on patrol, Ellie would be working and not asking a bunch of questions about what’s going on with Joel, and you had time before work. 

You stand in the kitchen, just finished having your lunch and trying to finish your coffee before gathering up your boots when the front door slams open, making you jump. You look over and Joel storms in. The shock of seeing him hits you for only a second before you process what you actually see. He’s a mess, a stark collage of dirt and blood. A lot of blood. 

“Holy shit- Joel!” You yell at him but he doesn’t stop. 

Joel walks in and goes straight up the stairs. You immediately put your mug down and practically run to follow him. It leads you to his bedroom where you then see him go into his bathroom. You pause outside his bedroom door, fear taking over your body. Hesitation. 

But no no no, that was a lot of blood, this is not okay, you need to check on him, you have to make sure he's safe. You push forward.

You carefully step into Joel’s room, hearing him shuffling things around in his bathroom, water running. When you reach his bathroom door, his jacket is in a clump on the floor of the entrance. The sight of it makes your heart beat faster when you see how drenched in red it is.

“Joel…” Your voice is barely more than a whisper. 

You look up to see Joel focused on a wash cloth at the sink and a first aid kit tossed on the counter. His t-shirt has splatters of blood around the collar that seems to have slightly dripped down his chest. His jeans have splatters and pools of blood stained along the front of his thighs and some along the back near his hips. Blood is also covering his hands, forearms and neck. It’s hard to tell if any of this blood belongs to him. 

“Joel, what the hell happened?” You ask him, worry and anger coming out at the same time by accident. 

He won’t look at you. He doesn’t even acknowledge your presence. He just keeps his head down and starts soaking the cloth in the sink, his jaw clenched. Your concern only increases the longer he goes on like this. You’re emotionally being pulled in multiple directions as you watch him. Why is he doing this? The more you think about it, the more fed up you get. You are not gonna let him do this, not right now. 

You slowly walk over, as if to not startle a wild animal. Joel freezes when he realizes you’re only moving closer to him. He drops the cloth in the sink, his hands going to his hips with an exhale through his nose. You step in front of Joel and face him so you are standing between him and the sink. When you look into his eyes he refuses to meet yours. You take a slow deep breath then put your hands on the counter behind you and lift yourself up. 

Joel keeps his gaze down but it drifts to your hips when they push forward and up as you sit yourself down on the sink counter. You let your knees loosely fall open to Joel as you sigh and briefly pause to just look at him for a moment. You’re not sure what you’re waiting for, maybe for Joel to miraculously start explaining what’s been going on. He only keeps his eyes to his feet. 

You scan his body, taking stock of all the blood, trying not to let any kind of panic set in, so you look for where Joel placed the cloth and pick it up. Without giving it a second thought, you face him and grab his right hand. You gently bring the cloth to it, working on each finger first. 

Despite his cold demeanor, he doesn’t fuss. His arm isn’t stiff, he’s limp in your hands, letting you turn and twist his arm however you need. He just watches you with his chest slowly rising and falling, breathing like crashing waves again.

As you glide the cloth up and down his hand you finally start to get an idea of where this blood came from and it wasn’t from Joel. 

“I can do this myself.” Joel says plainly, not an ounce of aggression behind it, just tired.

“I know, but I want to.” You truly do. 

This is no chore for you. Joel carried the weight of the world every second of every day. You just want to help him carry it for a bit. 

While you are wiping down Joel’s arm, he drifts closer to you. You’re too focused on your task, shocked he’s even letting you do this at this point. He is so pliant and relieved to be in your hands, he doesn’t even realize he does it. Joel ends up standing between your legs while you work on him. Once his hand is clean enough for you you notice small cuts and bruises, nothing life threatening so you move up his arm. You find more of the same, mostly bruising. 

“You gonna tell me what happened or let me be crushed by debilitating anxiety?” You tease him and catch him shaking his head in the corner of your eye. 

“Shouldn’t worry about me anyway...” Joel says it like he’s scolding you. You pause what you’re doing to look at his face. He’s still not looking at you, only down at his hands. 

“What? Are you serious- you know what, I’m not explaining how wrong and absurd that statement is right now.” You shake your head and finish cleaning up his right arm, turning to rinse the cloth.

“S’fine. Just had a run in with some infected.” He is so stone faced. This was not “some” infected. In all the time you knew Joel and lived in this world, you knew this was too much of a mess for just that.

“You’re lying.” You keep your head down. You feel brave but you’re still worried about pushing him right now. He stays quiet. “This….is kind of a big sign.” You gesture around the bathroom. You’re actively softer when you say it. There’s a long pause. You want to give him an opportunity to speak so you don't say anything else. His breathing stutters a bit.

“We lost one today.” Joel mutters. It hits you like a train. You stop what you’re doing and keep your eyes on the hand you were cleaning, still trying not to scare a wild animal. “Died in my arms carryin’ him back.” He chokes out the words, like every part of him is working so hard to say it. 

A lump forms in your throat and you finally look up at him. He appears so beyond tired, so worn. The lines along his forehead are more prominent, the bags under his eyes are heavier.

“I- I’m so sorry, Joel.” You whisper to him then soothingly rub his arm, fighting every urge to just hold him. He doesn’t have a response, just shakes his head and keeps his gaze focused down to your hands. You take that as a hint so you go back to what you were doing. 

You let the silence carry as you continue to clean him. Diligently wiping each of his fingers, front and back of his hand, his wrist and up his forearm. Always on edge that you are going to find something heartbreaking but gratefully never do. It’s a special kind of hell to care about a person this much. Almost a sick joke. 

“Blessing and a curse, this place.” You mumble and laugh dryly to yourself. Joel bravely watches your face when you say that, curiosity getting to him. He just hums in response, quietly urging you to continue. “I don’t know…spent so long out there with my brother just trying to find a place, a home. I lost him and thought maybe if we had somewhere, it would’ve prevented that but…it keeps happening...” You ramble to Joel while running the cloth over his warm skin, lost in thought. 

His heart aches listening to you. He knows Jackson is safe, he knows he can take care of his people, that he can take care of you. He never wants you to worry about losing another person, not here, not with him. He knows this but today still eats him alive. Still a harsh reminder of what it means to live.

The man they lost was purely from a clicker, a poor twist of fate and underestimation of where they were. Joel did everything he could for that man, fighting everything in their path to the point where he was covered in bodies but they had to keep moving. Despite the fact that this man was clearly bitten heavily on his neck, Joel made a promise to him that he would get him home to see his family. Joel took the man on his horse, having him sit facing the side, resting against his chest, head on Joel’s shoulder. As the horse was off in a full sprint, Joel would occasionally say things to get him to talk, to stay awake. Unfortunately, Joel did not understand the gravity of his injuries. There was a lot more than one wound. He was simply losing too much blood and passed out in Joel’s arms. 

He stopped the horse’s sprint to check his pulse but he was gone. Joel sat with him on the horse, the man’s head still resting on his shoulder, blood seeping into his clothes, wind whistling. He only stayed there for a minute before starting his rush to get back to Jackson. 

“It’s strange…” You stop wiping down Joel to adjust the cloth. “Being here and having jobs and houses and running water and fuckin’ bars while the world ends and people die outside these walls.” 

“Well we’re here…what matters is we build somethin’ worth stickin’ around for.” Joel says to you, sincere as the day he found you. You continue your work on his arm, your mind lingering on the “we” in that statement. 

“Mhm, like my boots!” You tease, using an overly positive tone. Joel sighs, not impressed with your humor at this moment but still works to stop himself from smiling when you continue. “What? They’re really busted up! I was going to work on them today before you tore through here. That’s building something!” 

“Y’know damn well I mean more than that.” Joel says, maintaining his gaze on your hands, not letting himself look at you but wanting to make a point. You’re not sure why he is so adamant but you lean into it anyway. 

“Alright, okay…point taken.” You brush him off a bit, the topic causing a weight to settle in your chest. There’s an unbearable amount of guilt from just living your life, having friends, even laughing since losing your brother. Life here felt so frivolous but you can’t deny the way it became a security blanket. The dog you’d say hi to on your way to work, your friends that would tell you they only want one drink then you’re suddenly 7 drinks deep and you’re holding their hair back, sharing your favorite music with Ellie, the coffee you’d make for yourself and Joel in the morning. You’re doing more than surviving for once. 

You finish up Joel’s arms and move on to his neck. You mindfully hold where his neck and shoulder connect with one hand and wipe him down with the other. Now that you are no longer fussing with his arms, they end up hanging on the outside of your thighs, resting against your knees. Joel seemingly still not protesting the process. This position forces you to properly face each other. That was something Joel was consistently protesting. You’d occasionally glance at his face and he would only be looking down and away from you. 

You drag the cloth from one side of his neck to the other, gently scrubbing along the dip of his throat. You’re comforted to find minimal injuries on Joel. He didn’t make it unscathed but he’s still standing. He’s here.

He still feels so far away and you’re not sure if it’s because of the day he’s had or something else entirely. He worries you, whether he likes it or not. 

“Joel…” You whisper to him, attempting to get his attention. 

Nothing.

“Joel, why won’t you look at me?” You whisper again, unable to hide the ache in your voice. Your free hand moves up his neck and to his cheek. You gently caress him, examining his face and the pain behind it. Your hand then carefully moves down to trace his lips with your thumb for a breath before Joel quickly grabs your wrist. 

You let your hand fall into a loose fist in his grasp, your knuckles resting against his lips. He doesn’t kiss them, he just holds your hand there then sighs, his breath fanning across your knuckles. His gaze stays down, a slight frown on his face, as he releases your arm.

You slowly put down the now dirty cloth next to you and slide off the counter, keeping your eyes on Joel the whole time. You stand with him and bring both hands up to his face, holding him there. It’s hard to get him to look at you so you slightly bend down to meet his eyes. When you finally make eye contact it hits like a clap of thunder followed by a strong pull deep in your gut. There is a swirl of thoughts and feelings on his face. His eyes are glistening, that puppy dog stare peeking through. You look him over then fixate on his mouth, Joel starts staring at yours right after. 

As you both watch each other, you feel Joel’s hand graze your side then grip your hip tightly, briefly squeezing it. You take one of your hands and rest it just under his ear, right along his jaw. Joel’s heart is pounding, you can feel his anxiety radiating off his body as you lay your other hand on his chest. Your need for Joel at this moment feels like it’s bubbling over. 

You lean in closer to Joel and he pulls away slightly, startling you a bit. Hesitation gets the best of him but he scans your face. He can only see the desire pouring out of you so he moves in to kiss you. 

When Joel’s plush lips touch yours, it takes a second for what’s happening to sink in. But then your whole body lights up. You inhale and slide your arms over his broad shoulders, wrapping them around his neck, trying to get as close to him as possible. Joel keeps his one hand on your hip while his other moves to your lower back, hugging your waist against his own. It starts out soft, careful, slow. Joel is kissing you like you’re made of glass that can shatter at any moment. It’s when you tease his mouth open with your tongue that he switches. 

As soon as he feels your tongue against his, he lets out a heavy groan and reaches down to grab your ass with both hands, pulling you into him more. You moan into his mouth and run your fingers through his hair, lightly grabbing it. Your craving for him running rampant. You let your hands roam from there, sneaking to the hem of his shirt and sliding your hands up his bare skin underneath. The two of you are a mess of saliva, tongues and heavy panting when Joel pushes himself off of you. 

“Fuck.” He blurts out, trying to catch his breath.

You’re in a daze, equally stunned that you were making out with Joel and also that he just suddenly made it stop. You watch him, standing multiple steps away from you, hands resting on his hips. 

“That…that was stupid, we shouldn’t have done that.” He was attempting to be stern, only partially failing. 

“What? Joel, no, it’s okay.” You rush to soothe him.

“No, it’s not, you don’t know what you’re sayin’.” 

You’re floored by this quick 180 from Joel, it knocks the wind out of you for a minute. “I...actually do and I know that I wanted that, I wanted you, I-I still do, I wanted every second of it-”

“Stop, just stop! That’s enough. I ain’t doin’ that with you again and we ain’t doin’ this.” Joel turns to walk away from you. It’s like a slap in the face.

“Hey! Yes, we are!” You yell, stopping him. He turns to face you again. “What the fuck is going on with you? I understand patrol was hard but I’m getting a lot of mixed messages here.” 

“Nothin’ is going on. Not with patrol and not with you.” Joel says with a hint of attitude.

“Really?” You felt genuinely confused. “You…were covered in blood- a lot of blood, a person died…you could barely even say it. You let me clean you and you wouldn’t even look at me but you let me do it! Why wouldn’t you look at me, Joel? Even now you can’t, why can’t you look at me? And why are you so sure you see a life for me in Jackson, huh?” It’s like a dam burst, you can’t stop, it just vomits out of you. “We were just kissing for Christ sake! We were touching each other, holding each other. You’re really gonna tell me nothing is going on right now? That you don’t feel anything for me?” You can’t help it but tears start forming in your eyes, a thick lump in your throat. You feel nauseous.

Joel hesitates to speak. The guilt is overtaking him seeing you like this, he’s drowning in it. He dreams of holding you and you holding him but he’s spiraling. 

“Nothin’...is going on.” He can feel the lump forming in his own throat, his chest tightening. His whole body is vibrating. A different answer was on the tip of his tongue.

Everything inside you comes to a grinding halt. You go numb. The tears spill over but you feel empty inside. You immediately go for the door, swiftly walking around Joel to exit. He stays completely still while you do. You go straight downstairs, put your shoes and jacket on and leave the house.

It’s a bit early for work but you decide to go to the bar anyway. You find your spot on a stool near the back and sit down. Your coworker spots you and says hi so you attempt to force a smile and say hello back. You order your usual and drink it in one go. You immediately order another one. 

You really thought you and Joel were on the same page, it was humiliating. Were you imagining things? You take drink after drink until it’s time for work. You even take shots with patrons during your shift, brushing off your coworker that tries to ask you if you’re okay. You just tell them “Yeah, of course I’m okay” then carry on. You fool no one either.

You drink until you can’t see straight and your body feels off kilter by the time work is done. You grab your things and start the walk home, a place that only feels like home because of Joel and Ellie. Your chosen family and you probably ruined it. What if you did? Where would you go? His brother runs this place, would they kick you out? Could you handle it out there without your brother? The thoughts don’t stop flicking through your mind. Before you know it, you’ve made it to the house with tears sliding down your face. 

Slowly you take each wobbly step up the stairs and to the front door. You hope no one’s awake at this time. You open the door and the place seems empty. It’s quiet, only a small lamp is on in the dining area. You finally let out the breath you’ve been holding and remove your jacket then hang it up. While kicking your shoes off you stumble slightly but catch yourself, hoping no one heard you. There’s a thumping and clattering sound upstairs and you look to see if someone’s coming down. No one does. 

You drag yourself up the stairs and stop at the top of them. You notice the light on in Joel’s workshop, the door closed. You feel an invisible string pulling you to it but you don’t let yourself go. Even in your alcohol addled mind you know you have no business talking to anyone right now, especially not him. So you shuffle over to your bedroom, rip off your pants and climb into your bed. 

For the first time since getting to Jackson, you dream about your brother. The times before the end of the world and after. The way he looked after you in school, played together at home when your parents ignored you, made sure you ate enough. How he still managed to make you laugh after everything went to shit while also teaching you to be strong. You see adult him smiling too, the one that you buried. He only looks at you and smiles then shakes his head. He suddenly grabs you for a hug but then you wake up. 

The morning sun pouring through the window makes you immediately groan and cover your eyes. The headache pounding in your skull is not friendly. You lay there on your stomach and peek through your fingers for a moment to adjust. That’s when you notice a full glass of water sitting on your bedside table. Did you grab that last night? You slide your hand off your face and just stare at it for a few minutes. 

When you feel ready to get up, you roll out of bed and pull on sweatpants. You glance at the water one more time as you go to leave but something stops you in your tracks. On the floor, sitting right by your door, are your boots. Fully repaired boots. Your jaw drops and you’re completely stunned. 

“What the fuck?” You whisper to yourself. You kneel down to pick them up when you see a small note on the floor. It’s folded in half so you unfold it. 

drink all the water please come find me when you’re ready

Joel 

And the smell of coffee fills the air. 

if you made it this far, thank you for reading, means a lot <3

[rueclfer]

new follower but HAVE to send in stuff for the job fair!!! are you kidding me?!?? that’s so cute!

i’m thinking budtender! reader x customer! sero?? but i know you have one sero request lined up so i did think about alternately

athletic trainer! reader x hockey player! bakugo?

looking forward to the others in the series regardless of these ideas! much love <3 🐸

helloooo new friend <3 HEHEHEH ive never done a budtender y/n before im actually so tickled at thisssss hehehe thank you for the submission hehe (dont make me think abt hockey bakugou rn i will go Crazy. but that is for another time)

customer!sero // job fair

event m.list

sero looked behind his shoulder and gave denki one last mouthed "fuck you" before sliding his ID through the glass panel of the dispensary.

this was the second time that denki had “coincidentally” forgotten his ID and wallet at home, leaving sero no choice but to pay for the day's plans himself.

sero walks in and strolls around the displays. usually he's in and out, but he doesn't mind making denki wait this time around to make his usual conversation with the security guard out front.

he makes mental notes of the ridiculous names of strains to tell him about later. he recognizes a few, but silently chuckles at the rest until he turns the corner and bumps into you.

"sorry!" you blurt, catching his shoulder to stabilize yourself before you could drop the box of inventory in your arms, "my fault, i'm so sorry!"

he blinks once. then twice. and then down to the lanyard around your neck.

"sheesh, you high on the job, y/n?" he smirks.

“oh please, just a clutz,” you scoff, your cheeks suddenly prickling with heat, "if i was high right now, our sales would be up by 75% right now. i’d be running this store like the military."

"oh god, a productive high?" he dramatically gasps, "what does it feel like to be god's favorite?"

"anyone can be a productive high," you begin moving around the shelves, stocking as sero follows behinds, "just gotta smoke the right shit."

suddenly he's grateful denki left his ID at home.

he's seen you around before, but never brave enough to approach- always in and out and has no strength to flex his minimal weed knowledge to the pretty bud-tender.

"got any recommendations then?" he leans up against the shelf you're working on, watching you crouch down with a box full of pre-rolls laid between your legs.

“hmm,” you hum, “well, what are your plans for the day?” your gaze flickers up to his for a moment.

sero’s brain freezes for a moment. he hadn’t thought this far ahead in the conversation- forgetting that you were actually doing your job, and not entertaining his poor attempts at flirting.

“uhh..” he begins, “you know, just hanging out, cleaning a bit, saving a cat from a tree, and writing a book?”

he sheepishly rubs the back of his neck as he internally curses himself out, avoiding your eyes as you slowly turn your head up at him with an amused smile.

“wow,” you laugh, “productive wednesday.”

“yeah, you know,” he shrugs, “might even run a marathon if i got the time for it. a marathon for charity, by the way.”

you motion for him to come over to the other side of the shelf as your eyes glaze over the display.

“uh-huh. a do-gooder like you mainly goes for pre-rolls, right?”

sero nods his head, “how’d you know?”

“i’m also really observant when i’m high,” you joke, sending him a side glance, “kidding. legally, i’m kidding. you and that blonde friend always come in here when i’m working, so i notice.”

“damn, you notice me?” slips out of his mouth.

sero doesn’t have to be inebriated to embarrass himself as much as he has today. when it’s  with you, it seems to come second nature to him.

“getting excited?” you tease.

you watch him stammer a bit and try to backtrack as you collect a few rolls in your hand, the corners of your mouth growing into a smug smirk. you pull out a sharpie from your utility belt and scribble your number on the packaging.

“these are the ones you want if you wanna have a productive day,” you place them in his hand, “but you need something to help wind down, you know where to reach me.”

[chloyappa]

moon melon

—kenma x reader ! oneshot

for some reason, you had your happy crush—kozume kenma—added on roblox. you can search every nook and cranny of your brain and you wouldn't be able to recall a single moment you'd interact with him.

you tried swiping past appl_p1 with grow a garden under, trying to find actual friends you can play grow a garden with.

none. other than some random people you added two years ago.

you decided to play on a public server—fighting against your moral compass saying NO—and risk your ginormous golden eggplant getting stolen. and also fighting against all thoughts that hope the roblox gods bless you and send you to the same server as kozume.

the screen loaded, slightly lagging because of your shit internet, and started walking around.

what a beautiful—oh my fucking GOD? what a sprinkler method abuser! you thought to yourself when just a little less than half of your garden was totally eaten by a shit ton of oversized moon melons.

but what was more interesting is the collect button tempting you to steal that one moon melon.

the colors danced around your screen, luring you in like a toddler watching dancing fruits; rainbow aura surrounding the big, disco mutated moon melon.

your finger hovered over the fruit. not only was it disco, it was also gold, wet, moonlit, AND bloodlit.

it's only 37 robux. imagine how much that would sell for?

what can i lose? other than the robux, that is.

you clicked the collect button, paid the 37 robux, and happily steal the fruit that would make you a billionaire. for a second, you felt like the most successful thief in the world—HELL, maybe you could even challenge bonnie & clyde—but good things come to an end.

a bacon head approached you, obviously furious.

appl_p1: my moon melon appl_p1: GIVE BACK MY appl_p1: #### ### ############# appl_p1: i have ten nukes directed to ur house

oh? and all you can do is smile at the sight of kozume berating you over some stupid game. for all he knows it's actually you behind the screen. so it's fine. you calmly type back in chat,

[user]: lolol [user]: what a nerd [user]: getting pissy boiiii

you scoffed at myself, fighting with my crush.

you noticed his character now still, unlike earlier which was jumping around you. you pursed your lips, anticipating everything but what he was going to say.

appl_p1: [name]. appl_p1: give me my MOON MELON appl_p1: IM ACTUALLY GOING TO POUNCE ON YOU appl_p1: DONT GO TO SCHOOL TOMORROW

oh, so he remembered. HE KNOWS WHO I AM! he remembers that he added ME. MY roblox account.

it's like a switch turned on in you—that 37 robux turned into nothing as you gifted back his moon melon and jumped around his avatar, hoping that he'd forgive you even without an apology.

but you guess gifting his fruit back was an apology?

[user]: sorry kozume [user]: i didnt knoe it wad u [user]: promise i wouldnt even even graze my finger tip against ur fence

his character then jumped around yours, holding out an abnormally large, shocked mushroom. then the gift thingy popped up on the side of your screen.

...

WHAAAAATT!!!

[user]: WHAT appl_p1: take this one instead appl_p1: figured u needed more appl_p1: and call me kenma appl_p1: kozume is so... idk i dont like it

you felt heat rush to my face when you accepted the gift, holding yourself back from squealing like a rat at 12 in the morning.

appl_p1: tho i gotta admit ur weird as hell

but that didn't matter to you. you jumped around his avatar, typing different varieties of typos in thank yous.

you favorited the fruit in your inventory and teleported to your garden to see what was up. it was actually just an excuse to prove to kozume that you don't have a crush on him and that you actually am just a normal person playing with him that joined his server out of the millions of public servers and hahahahahahshaahahahahhdhhdhdndndnd

ok. your brain short-circuited. you were mindlessly jumping around in your garden and climbing the trees, finding something to do in the game.

appl_p1: wanna play vb legends?

you swore you envisioned steam coming from your scalp from how broken your brain was at the moment. giddiness actually made you physically ill.

[user]: Ondl [user]: o [user]: ok [user]: tomrorow. bai kemna

and with that, you swiftly left the game and proceeded to stay up until 4 AM daydreaming about kenma.

holy shit post. sorry for ass grammar brah... writing is NOT my strong suit