#Infinite monkey theorem

[wronghands1]

[tomfoolerytotality]

four more years woke pussy

🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

[jan-silan]

one of my favourite wikipedia image captions

[origami-butterfly]

Can't believe this is the set up for a question in my further stats textbook, glad to see edexcel are being normal

[Image description: A question in a textbook reading "Michael has a pet monkey and wants to test the theory that, given a typewriter and enough time, the monkey will eventually type out the complete works of Shakespeare. Unfortunately the experiment is a total disaster and the monkey has succeeded only in producing a seemingly random string of alphabetic characters!" The rest of the question is on the next page. End ID]

[bigfan1811]

the infinite monkey writing firm is actually right next to the library of babel

[theology101]

Okay but like… why the Monkeys?

Lex Luthor is a Tech Billionaire. He’s built a full corporation for himself, he built a pocket dimension, he was able to clone Superman but the dude doesn’t know what Twitter bots are?

Half the people on that damn app aren’t even real people dude, it’s been like that for over a decade. Twitter bots don’t take up space or food or water, they don’t need complicated Neuroscience, and they’re infinitely faster.

Lex took time out of his day, sat down, and actually figured out the logistics of capturing and maintaining thousands of monkies, and teaching them how to solve captchas and make twitter accounts in the first place… all for something that is much worse in every regard

My only conclusion is that he just did it as a little “haha, Infinite Monkey shakespeare joke” exclusively for him to laugh at

[shakespearenews]

Mathematicians Stephen Woodcock and Jay Falletta from the University of Technology Sydney said it would actually take way longer than the entire lifespan of our universe for a single typing monkey to randomly produce the complete works of Shakespeare.

[heavilycaffeinatedmuffin]

my blog is actually just a chimp on a typewriter in a space where time is infinite. sorry for misleading you all

[wronghands1]

[alicesoinions]

[chronicsheepdeprivation]

If you put some autistics in a room with a typewriter for an infinite amount of time they could theoretically keysmash the entirety of William Shakespeare's library.

[artbleed]

You can make anything by writing.

- C. S. Lewis

[obitekolanko]

Infinite monkey theorem

Almost surely CATS, hitting keys at random for an infinite amount of time, will type the complete works of William Shakespeare sooner than monkeys. Because cats have already started…

[amminadabz]

If you had infinite monkeys at infinite computers for infinite time, eventually one of them would draw a photorealistic penis in MS Paint

[nocturnalversesandtales]

The Seventh Sequence

The universe is a probability engine. If ghosts exist, they are mathematical flukes. If something knocks in the dark, it is not intention—it is entropy dancing in a corpse mask. I will not fear it. I will not believe it. I will count it.

But God help me—if it types my name again, I don’t know what I’ll do.

The typewriter clattered in the corner of the room, unattended, its keys pressing down in fits and stutters. Corvan didn't look up. He had long ago stopped reacting to the sounds it made.

He was hunched over the desk, pale in the monitor’s light, eyes rimmed with veins. Stacks of printed pages fanned out before him like ritual offerings. Charts. Sequences. Recurrences. Symbols that had appeared—unprovoked—three times in a ten-million-keystroke batch.

A circle. A hand. A bleeding eye.

He touched the one in red ink.

“They repeat. Not frequently, no. Not at random either. Just enough to unsettle.”

He scribbled a note in the margin. “Cumulative convergence?”

The soft hum of the randomizer spun louder, as though in anticipation.

Across the room, the typewriter dinged.

Another page.

Corvan exhaled—long, shaky. He stood, his robe dragging across scattered printouts and coils of copper wire. He approached the machine.

Clack... clack... clack...

The paper trembled in the feeder. He reached for it. Stopped.

His hand hovered.

Then he pulled it free.

Four words, typed cleanly. No errors. No randomness.

“YOU ARE BEING WATCHED.”

He stared.

No context. No formatting anomaly. Not even a misaligned margin. It had the tone of intent.

“No,” he whispered, shaking his head. “No. This is stochastic debris. Residual determinism. It’s not—”

The lights flickered.

Behind him, the bookshelf creaked, though the air was still.

And from the hallway, something echoed back—not words, not breathing exactly, but typing.

Soft. Deliberate.

Not the mechanical randomness of the machine.

But fingers.

Human fingers.

[wizzynii]

am *I* the infinite monkey? or am i just one of the infinite monkeys?

maybe i’m the typewriter. taptap, tap tap tap, ding!