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iamconstantine · 6 months ago

Text

arcane characters as college staff

Mel

History professor

Refers to all students by (honorific) (surname)

Nothing but praise on ratemyproffesor

“I didn’t like history until I took Professor Medarda’s class”

Doesn’t write scholarly articles, just giant ass books that she pumps out almost every year somehow

Quickly responds to emails. No response = its in the syllabus

“Is there any make up work I can do to get my grade up—“ Absolutely not

But if you go the writing center you can get extra credit

Every year her students ask for an extension on the final project and every year she gives a long and furious rant about how the project was visible online from Day 1 and they had all semester to work on it

She has a beautiful office that looks like a miniature library and she only sees students by appointment

Jayce

Physics professor

Is a prolific author but somehow can’t figure out how to set up the course online

Prints cheesy physics memes

Every zoom meeting begins with 1000 messages saying “professor Talis we can’t hear you your mic isn’t on” every. time.

you can come see him in his office any time, door’s always open

but his office is so messy you probably won’t be able to sit because he has a stack of papers on every chair

“Everyone got this question on the exam wrong so I’m going to give everyone credit because that means i didn’t teach it properly”

Always throws an end-of-year party at his place

Caitlyn

English Literature professor

would win best dressed of the staff, always shows up in the slacks-and-blazer fit

“To understand why the narrator wears red shoes, we need to take a look at the sociopolitical state of Edinburgh in 1864.”

if you reply to a discussion board post with just “I agree” you’re not getting credit and it isn’t up for discussion

Never reads contemporary fiction. The “newest” book she’s read is The Great Gatsby

“We’re not having a party but if you want to bring snacks and soda to the last day of class that’s fine”

Covers a lot of authors but it somehow always comes back to Emily Dickenson

Is that teacher that assigns 400-page books every week

Constantly publishing in lit journals (rumor has it she writes steamy open-door romance books under a pen-name but no one has confirmed this)

Ekko

Art professor

You have to actively screw up to get a bad grade with him

He wrote thousands of letters to the board until they caved and gave the class a proper kiln

“Write a three-page essay explaining why AI art is not art and insisting otherwise is spitting in the face of humankind. Double spaced. Due Friday 11:59”

Throws back coffee. Has a coffeemaker in the studio. Two of them.

“Hey guys some of you are submitting assignments at 2 in the morning. It can wait until the next day. Please get some sleep.”

He’s created awe-inspiring pieces but if you just wanna paint a frog wearing a hat he’ll say “that’s cool”

Says he knows who banksy is but will never tell

He gets way too deep in the zone. Once reached for his coffee cup while painting, drank paint water instead. Didn’t notice.

Jinx

Chemistry professor

If you email her the response will be “k” or “no” and nothing else

Waits until twenty minutes after the class begins to email everyone that class is canceled

Never wears a coat, goggles, or gloves. But will call out students if they don’t

takes 5 years to post grades

“Look I’m not remembering any names. Too many. If I’m talking to you I’ll just point”

Puts a meme on the projector every day. Mostly incomprehensible. Picture of a horse on an beach and it just says “Zimbabwe”

lowest score on ratemyprofessor

someone creates a website called ratemystudent and administration has no proof that it was her because technically the students with bad scores being the same students that get bad grades in her class can be coincidental

Viktor

Biomedical engineering professor

Only professor who still uses chalkboards

First day of class is first day of class. No reviewing the syllabus, turn to page 34 in your textbook.

Puts things in the syllabus to catch people who use ChatGPT. If you’re caught, you’re removed from his class. Immediately. You will not get to plead your case.

Most of his cited sources are himself

Literally begs students to thrift their textbooks online instead of buying them from the school. Provides free PDFs as often as he can.

He reads journals every day and will write personal letters to authors he disagrees with

If a student asks a particularly dumb question he’ll step out of the room for ten minutes to compose himself and then resume teaching like nothing happened

Not a professor, works at the on-campus gym and leads clubs

Constantly curses without batting an eye. Students will leave class with their very uptight professor then come to the soccer club where vi walks in like “sorry I’m late guys i had a motherfucker of a headache this morning”

Please don’t ask her about anything that isn’t club or sport related. If you ask for directions or how to get in contact with student services she’s got nothing

If she refs for a game and you’re on the opposing team you’d better watch yourself. She will rip you a new one if you break any rules. One time a player grabbed one of her member’s mask during a game and he left crying after Vi was done with him

Students run into her at the local hangouts a lot but it’s never awkward. just reminds you not to party too hard before the game tomorrow

Leads pretty much every club but dance. Wouldn’t admit it but she has no sense of rhythm and refuses to even do it as a student

You can call her coach or captain or just Vi, whatever you want. But if you call her Violet she’ll stare you down until you correct yourself

Heimerdinger

Anthropology professor

Spends the first day of class getting to know everyone. “We’re going to go around and give our names and a fun fact about ourselves!”

Gives the “Nacirema” assignment and can’t wait to tell everyone the catch

His classroom is filled with artifacts. Don’t ask about any of them because it will take up class time

If you can’t make it to class he sends really nice responses saying he understands, then checks in when you come back

The only thing that puts him in a bad mood is the “why do anthropologists study dinosaurs if anthropology is about people” question. He’s old and tired

Keeps thinking about retiring, keeps changing his mind

Silco

Political science professor

His classroom is bare and blank. No life. Just fluorescent lights and chairs.

Brags about how few people pass his class

Very strict on attendance. Too many absences and you’re out.

If the assignment is due at 11:59 and you turn it in at 12:00, it’s late

“I am quite interested to hear why you believe you are deserving of a higher grade when you’ve spent less than thirty minutes attending all of my classes combined. Please, continue.”

Will straight up roast other professors no problem. Encourages students to pass it along

He encourages debate but the only thing students debate about outside of class is whether he’s hot or creepy af

Final project is a choice between A) A ten-page essay on why there is no ethical consumption under capitalism, or B) a presentation on why the country is doomed

Vander

Education professor

Makes his own series of Crash Course-esque videos

Comes to class in jeans at best. Sweats, sometimes.

He has one coffee mug that says #1 Dad and he refuses to use anything else

He puts fun questions on his exams, like riddles. If no one gets it, he actually gets sad

Whenever he erases the whiteboard he always misses a spot. He’s that professor.

If he catches you plagiarizing, you get one pass before he reports it. But you have to come to his office so he can tell you how disappointed he is and how much potential you have

He gives a seminar about how worried he is for the future of education and the wellbeing of the next generation and everyone leaves feeling guilty. Everyone.

Make a pop culture reference in class and everything will grind to a halt so you can explain it to him. Visuals help.

Sevika

Librarian

If you play music in the library she’ll walk up to you and just go “are you joking”

Have a phone call on speaker and she’s hanging it up for you

There’s signs telling you to be quiet every three feet

If you see her outside of school no you didn’t

She’s in charge of leading classes on accessing academic databases and she fucking hates it

Somehow knows where every book is down to the shelf. She’ll tell you what you’re looking for before you can finish your sentence

technically she’s supposed to do a walkthrough before closing for the night but if you can’t read the library hours on the signs it’s your fault if you get locked in

#Arcane #vi arcane #caitlyn kiramman #viktor arcane #jayce talis #jinx arcane #silco #vander #heimerdinger #sevika #ekko #Mel medarda

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idrawweirdstuffnominors · 3 months ago

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I saw your Girl dad! Josh post!

….Bill in his girl dad arc when (JK! JK!….unless)

(Lol lock tf in chat this is gonna get interesting to say the least

Bill dickey as a Girl Dad headcannons

1. "You're Not Dating Anyone Until You're Thirty-Five."

Bill is insanely overprotective but in the worst possible way. He doesn't trust anyone, especially boys. If his daughter so much as mentions a crush, he launches into a 15-minute rant about how “men are scum, and I should know, because I am one!”

2. Turns Her into a Nerd by Force.

He starts her on comics, sci-fi, and horror movies from the womb. Think “Alien” at age six and mandatory Sunday night viewings of Twilight Zone.

“You don’t get to sleep until you can name the entire creative team behind Swamp Thing vol. 2.”

3. Absolutely Cannot Handle Emotions.

She cries? He panics. He just stands there holding a Mountain Dew can like, “Uh… do you want… a Funko Pop or something? Stop leaking! I didn’t raise a weakling!”

4. The Most Toxic PTA Parent Ever.

He shows up to school meetings in a black trench coat, rants about the school’s media literacy failures, and says things like, “If my daughter’s being bullied, I will sue. I have lawyers. I know people on forums. Don’t test me.”

5. Secretly the Best Coach in a Weird Way.

Bill is a ruthless perfectionist when she shows interest in anything creative. “If you’re gonna draw anime, do it right. These proportions? Amateur. You call this anatomy? This is CalArts-tier crap, and I won’t allow it under my roof.”

But his standards push her to be really, really good—even if she wants to murder him half the time.

6. Grudgingly Proud Dad Mode

She wins an art contest or aces a project? He brags nonstop for a month—but never directly to her face.

“She’s not bad. I mean, obviously she got the talent from me. But yeah, whatever. I guess she’s okay.”

7. Hyper Fixates on Her Interests to “Vet” Them

If she likes something he doesn’t understand (like K-pop), he goes full rage-research mode. Watches 6-hour YouTube essays. Then returns to say things like:

“Okay. So this Jungkook guy? I guess he’s talented. Still don’t trust him.”

8. Accidentally Raises a Girl Just Like Him

One day she quotes The Thing perfectly, destroys a boy in an online debate, and calls someone a “poser” for not knowing Kirby’s original designs. Bill just stares and mutters, “My work here is done.”

9. Will Go to War for Her

She never sees it, but if anyone seriously messes with her? He’s already on the dark web tracking their IP address. His threats are too specific.

“You want me to drop their home address or are we playing the long game?”

10. Sentimental? Nope. Never. (Okay, Maybe Once.)

He keeps a photo of her in his wallet, folded and beat up. He never talks about it.

But sometimes, when she’s not around, he looks at it and sighs.

“She’s… fine. Not like she makes me proud or anything. Idiot.”

“The Coat”

Bill was elbow-deep in a tote labeled "CON BADGES / UNTOUCHED GARBAGE", muttering under his breath about how these kids wouldn’t know practical effects if they crawled out of a latex womb, when his daughter walked in—dragging the massive, beat-up orange flannel from the back of his closet behind her.

It was practically a robe on her. Oversized, worn, and clinging to the smell of years of conventions, bad takeout, and Bill’s lingering rage.

Daughter:

“…Can I wear this to school tomorrow?”

Bill turned like she’d just asked to burn his comic collection.

Bill:

“That? You mean my coat? The coat I wore to every screening of The Thing between ‘92 and ‘06? The coat I nearly got kicked out of Wizard World for wearing over a Gremlins tee because some idiot thought I was doing a bit?”

Daughter: (nodding calmly)

“Yeah. That one.”

Bill: (offended beyond comprehension)

“Why would you want to wear that? You trying to look like a failed screenwriter with back problems?!”

Daughter:

“It’s warm. And I like how it smells. Like… your weird soap and burnt pizza.”

Bill: (pointing dramatically)

“That’s character! You don’t earn that smell, you live in it.”

Daughter:

“I want to live in it. Just for the day.”

That shut him up for a second. He looked at her—dwarfed by his rage-blanket of a coat, arms poking out like she was wrapped in a sleeping bag—and muttered something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like: “…you’re a menace…”

Bill: (grumbling)

“Fine. But if anyone spills anything on it, anyone—you, your friends, some gluten-free goober with a juice box—I will rain hellfire upon that school. I will march in there, I will quote John Carpenter until they expel themselves, and I will not be held responsible for what happens next.”

Daughter: (grinning)

“Love you too, Dad.”

Bill:

“I didn’t say that. I don’t believe in love. I believe in practical effects and staying angry.”

She rolled her eyes, already backing out of the room.

Daughter:

“Sure. I’ll be careful. I swear on your limited edition ‘Murder of Crows’ box set.”

Bill: (horrified)

“DON’T YOU JOKE ABOUT THAT—!”

But she was gone. And he was left staring at the empty spot where the coat had been, rubbing his temples and muttering:

Bill:

“Kid’s gonna be the death of me. In the best possible way.”

#the eltingville club #eltingville epilogue #eltingville bill #epilogue bill #bill dickey #eltingville writing #welcome to eltingville

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starryknight-tarot · 2 years ago

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𝓗𝓸𝔀 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓶𝓮𝓮𝓽 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓯𝓾𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓮 𝓼𝓹𝓸𝓾𝓼𝓮

pile 1 -- > pile 2 -- > pile 3

pile 4 -- > pile 5 -- > pile 6

my masterlist<3 . paid readings

Hello beautiful souls✨ I am back with another future spouse pick a card reading. Today we will look into how you will meet your future spouse! Remember to meditate, take a deep breath and pick whatever pile calls to you the most. Since this is a general reading, make sure to take what resonates and leave what doesn't. Divider by @ribboniel

Pile 1

Cards: Justice, Three of Swords, Ten of Wands, The Hermit, The Wheel of Fortune, Page of Swords, Two of Swords, Page of Cups

Back of the Deck: Six of Pentacles

This pile is being me serious webtoon or like k-drama plot line vibes. I am also getting that some of you may be lawyers or may be fans of the k-drama Extraordinary Attorney Woo. Anyway, I am getting that you will meet you fs in a moment of pure vulnerability. For a good amount of you I feel like you could be going through a really big breakup. You may experience many strong emotions, or feel very anxious about something. Some of you may suffer from severe anxiety I'm hearing. I am also hearing that this may be a work problem, like a project didn't go through or you got scolded by higher ups, something that would raise your stress. I just heard that for some of you this event has happened already. Some of you may meet you fs very soon or have already met your future spouse. But I feel like after this, you might feel like you need to push yourself away from the people close to you and distance yourself. You could be stepping out of your comfort zone. But I feel like this is where you are gonna meet your fs. I feel like this place will be a crowded area, specifically a concert. Around the time you meet your fs, you will try to distract yourself from your stress and anxiety. I see your fs approaching you first, someone really cheery and just excited to be there. Someone that frequents the place you meet. For some of you, this may be someone you already vaguely know, specifically a co-worker. Your fs is giving puppy energy to me. They will be very excited to see you, it seems like a really cute introduction that will may make you laugh. I feel like they will compliment you on something you're wearing. I keep hearing that you will be a lot less excited to see them than they are to see you lmao. I don't think it's for any bad reasons like they are mean to you or something but they may remind you of whatever is causing you stress at first. I feel like they are gonna try to buy you a drink, or they have been drinking. Your fs gives off a very trustworthy vibe. You and your fs will talk a lot your first time meeting. I am getting a lot of laughter and silly little jokes. Originally you will feel like you guys are complete opposites, but after a while you will realize you have a lot of common. I keep hearing your first impression of them is that they are a cute doofus lol. (A kind of side note but I kept thinking of Brazil while shuffling and when thinking about your pile so you may be from Brazil or you could meet in Brazil)

Advice Cards:

Awareness opens a field of possibility in your life

In harmony with your inner self, you are free to do or be whatever you choose

Be aware of your inner messages

Something you've planted is coming to harvest. Results are forthcoming!

Be alert for your opportunity

Weigh your situation carefully

Channeled Song:

Pile 2

Cards: Queen of Wands, Ten of Swords rx, Seven of Pentacles, King of Cups, Four of Wands rx, Two of Swords, Strength rx, Queen of Pentacles

Back of the Deck: The Hierophant

One of the first things that popped into my head when shuffling for this pile is that your first meeting is gonna be embarrassing for you. The reason for embarrassment will vary for all of you, of course, but overall I feel like you will be very emotional at the moment of meeting your fs. I am kinda of sensing some similarities to Pile 1 so if you felt called to that one please do read that one as well. Anyways, I feel like there is a possibility you could be getting bullied when you first meet your fs. I'm not getting that they will be the one bullying at all, in fact they might even defend you from these bullies. Like I am seeing them physically fighting them off or threaten them if this is bullying, and violence isn't the answer, but they will only try to help you. For some of you, your fs is a childhood friend or someone you have known for a very long time. I am also hearing some of you will already be in a relationship when you meet your fs. I feel like you are normally a very confident and brave person Pile 2 but at the time of meeting your fs, you will just be so over something that your tough persona will be faltering. I am also getting that some of you may try to stay positive about everything and never show discomfort in anything but this time something got to you and it's showing (ngl yall are giving me Tohru Honda vibes but that's for the Fruits Basket fans lol). For some very specific people, this event will take place in a church or will be about religion. But I feel like your fs will notice that you aren't acting how you normally do or that you just aren't doing well. I really feel like your fs won't really know how to comfort you but will end up doing something cute anyway and it might even make you feel better. They might give you something, I am seeing specifically candy. I do feel like your fs will almost immediately make an impression on you, you might even start crushing on them right when you meet them. Your fs seems like someone that doesn't really know how to express themselves but they wanna learn and be better so they can deserve someone like you.

Advice Cards:

No better time exists than right now

Your body needs your attention

In harmony with your inner self, you are free to do and be whatever you choose

You can make an important contribution

You are intended to succeed. Align your actions with your highest dreams

Issues of balance are at hand

Channeled Song:

Pile 3

Cards: The Fool, Knight of Cups rx, Three of Pentacles, Three of Pentacles, Temperance, Four of Swords, Seven of Cups, Knight of Pentacles rx

Back of the Deck: The Sun

This is a very interesting pile. For some of you this could a gay relationship or if not, your fs could have very masculine energy. Unlike the other piles, this is the first where your fs is almost definitely someone you haven't met before or known about before. For some of you, your first meeting with your fs will be completely random. I almost feel like your fs doesn't want you to know how you will meet, like it's a surprise. But I do feel an instant connection here. Like you will immediately be like oh shit this person is my person. I just saw a gym (but I won't say this is for a lot of you because I really think your fs wants to keep some details of your first meeting a secret) . This is definitely a soulmate/twin flame connection. Maybe even love at first sight. You guys will act as if you have known each other your whole lives after just talking for a little bit. Although this sounds very much like everything will move very fast but I feel like both of you are pretty patient people and will wanna take your time with this connection. I just heard you have your whole lives to get to know each other. For a small amount of you, I feel like your first interactions will be recorded, maybe one of you is an influencer. But I am really getting that this first meeting with your fs will just be really fun and full of laughs like you almost can't breathe because you are dying of laughter kind of funny. I am getting your fs has a really big personality, like they are very noticeable when they walk into a room, all eyes on them. They may have dyed hair or very bold fashion. I am hearing some of you will be wearing something similar which is why you approach each other in the first place. The angel number 333 will have some connection to your first meeting so you may see 333 a lot when you are about to meet them, or March might have some importance to this connection. When you meet your fs, you are going to feel like you have reached the end of long and tiring journey, and now you can finally start a new chapter with your fs. I also just heard they are a keeper lol.

Advice Cards:

Considerable and consistent effort may now be required

Complete the project or task. Something is calling for closure

Control is an illusion. Surrender and allow the Universe to guide you

It's time to realize the blueprint of your soul

You are intended to succeed. Align your actions with your highest dreams

You are divinely protected. Remind yourself how safe you are

Channeled Song:

Pile 4

Cards: Nine of Pentacles, Page of Swords, Ten of Cups rx, Five of Cups, King of Cups, Page of Cups, Seven of Wands, The Sun, The Magician (you get an extra card my special pile 4's)

Back of the Deck: Knight of Wands

While shuffling, two different locations showed themselves to me. A comic book store or just like a kind of geeky store and a sports game. Kinda random but could resonate with some of you. I was also hearing some of you might just be into a lot of geeky things like anime, marvel, fandoms in general which isn't too surprising if you have found your way to this reading, but spirit kept bringing my attention to that, so that kind of stuff could be very important to you or your fs. I am also seeing an interest in sports, so you or your fs could be very into sports. Anyway, I am getting you and your fs will meet very casual. I don't see you meeting through a dating app or a blind date or anything like that. I am seeing your fs approaching you first, although I feel like this is SUPER out of character for them. I am getting that your fs is more on the introverted side or they get very nervous talking to new people. I'm hearing "I just had to talk to you." so your fs will most likely be interested in you first, maybe even immediately caught feelings for you. I am even hearing that they will tell their friends "I just met my future spouse.". I can feel the blush that paints their cheeks and anxiety they are feeling just thinking about talking to you. Ngl Pile 4, the first interaction with them may be a little awkward at first cause they are just so nervous lol. I specifically see you looking at something like a book or painting I am hearing, and your fs just starts talking about whatever you are looking at. I recommend watching the mv to the first channeled song, as a specific part where the couple are looking a painting came to mind. also the song is just a banger But I do feel like you guys will eventually have a very fun conversation. Whatever happens, your fs will leave the interaction REALLY happy. Like they have a spring in their step. I am hearing you may give them your number or social media after meeting. I just heard some of you fall under the category of "big titty goth gf" and that is your fs's type (not for everyone ofc). I don't really see you viewing your fs as a romantic interest at first, they are someone that will grow on you eventually. Your fs has a lot of charm that they can only show when you get to know them better.

Advice Cards:

Boldly imagine what you can do and be

Act on what you know

You can if you think and believe you can

Create an internal structured frame of reference and stay focused

Give yourself your own approval

It's time to try something new

Channeled Songs:

Pile 5

Cards: Six of Wands rx, The Wheel of Fortune, Seven of Pentacles, Four of Cups rx, Ten of Pentacles, Strength, Four of Wands rx, Queen of Wands

Back of the Deck: Ace of Wands

I flipping love the energy of this pile so much. For a lot of you I feel like you will meet your fs at work. You could be your own boss, starting a small business, and maybe even a CEO of a successful company I am hearing. You give off such a lovely energy Pile 5, I can't over it. Anyway I feel like your fs is someone you will rely on. I am seeing a lot of teamwork with this pile. I don't think you and your fs will ever be properly introduced, it's like they could just be in a group of people that you end up with and somehow just become acquainted with. I am seeing things like paintball, board games, or online games and you will just end up doing something together. If this is a work environment, it's at a work party. Spirits don't seem to want to focus so much on how you will meet and more on your connection with this person. This person is gonna be your rock. You could be in need of assistance and your fs will come to help you. Your fs will immediately give off the vibe of someone that works very hard and has worked for everything they have. They also may have evident bags under their eyes. Your meeting with them is gonna be pure fate. You were at the right place at the right time. Something you will look back and think, I am so glad I was there when I was or else I wouldn't have met them. Yall are absolutely soulmates. I really keep hearing your fs will be your assistant, you may decide to make a business with them when you first meet them. Your fs will just feel like home. I just saw two different fictional couples that I feel are similar to the vibes I get from yall. I see Barbie and Ken and Princess Carolyn and Judah from Bojack Horseman. You will meet your fs when you both need each other the most, this connection is divinely protected. When you guys get together, you will be each others support system and have a really stable and strong relationship. Your first impression of your fs will just be that they have a strong warmth to them as a person. An almost addictive personality. (very random last note just I kept seeing it and I'm seeing signs of it happening so your first introduction may be them spilling coffee on you lol)

Advice Cards:

You can manifest your heart's desire

You are healing at a cellular level

The issue at hand is about reflection. What is the mirror showing you?

The conditions are primed. Yes, it can happen, and if you believe, it will!

You need to make the first move

The Universe supports your stance and decision

Channeled Song:

Pile 6

Cards: Ace of Swords rx, Knight of Cups rx, Nine of Wands, The Chariot rx, Ace of Pentacles, Eight of Cups, Eight of Wands, King of Cups

Back of the Deck: The World

This connection is most likely starting on the internet. This could be through a dating app or something like discord. I am getting around the time of your first meeting, you will be working on yourself or working towards loving yourself more. That may be something you have struggled with in the past or currently. Spirits are working to bring this person closer to you. I feel like your person either lives really far away from you or super close to you, no in between. If you do meet through a dating app, I don't think either of you would be particularly looking for love, just someone to talk to and find similar interests to. I keep being brought to a couple I know that met through MySpace and now are happily married and travel the world, I am getting their vibes from this pile. They also have a youtube channel so you might even make content together. I heard that one of you may be from Asia, specifically from Japan and another one of you would be from the west, take it if it resonates. This connection won't manifest in person until after you have really took the time to get to know your fs more. It's like you will meet your fs two times, once online and another when you finally decide to meet in person. For some of you, you may not even meet this person until after you already started dating. I am even seeing for some of you this may be a person you have watched or stalked on social media and have been a fan of. But I am not seeing a power imbalance with you guys. I feel like you will see each other as equals. You guys will find what you have lacked in your other relationships with your fs. If you guys are at a distance or meet online, I feel like when you finally met in person it will be a big event for both of you where you almost feel like you are finally complete. Your first impression of your fs will be someone that just gets you. Someone that you feel like you could pour your heart out to without being judged. It won't be that you share everything in common and be very similar people, but you will compliment each other in a way that works beautifully. You have very compatible birth charts or MBTI's. I heard either you or your fs could be an ESFP. You and your fs will meet at a moment when you are both emotional ready for a relationship.

Advice Cards:

Weigh your situation carefully

The conditions are primed. Yes, it can happen, and if you believe, it will!

Your acts of love, kindness, and unlimited forgiveness bestow grace upon you

The issue at hand is about reflection. What is the mirror showing you?

Align your body, mind and spirit with your heart

Yes, you can .... Set it in motion!

Channeled Song:

If you got to this point, let me know if you would be interested paid personal readings! I would also just love to hear your feedback on the readings!

Thanks for tuning in₊‧.°.⋆🫧•˚₊‧⋆.

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hazardace2 · 21 days ago

Text

IS there more evidence for the Susie theory I keep calling "Blood Theory"?

(My thoughts were all over the place for this so bear w/ me. I wanted it to be a thorough theory/essay post but it's more like a collection of thoughts sorry)

spoilers for the new chapters under the cut

So first things first, we need to establish where this comes from.

During chapter 2's release some dataminers found this unused animation where she BLEEDS.

this on its own wasn't enough for people to question it, as the two running theories for it being scrapped were that it was

1. the blood on her sprite was a continuity issue; as monsters dust, which is why it ended up unused

2. monsters actually bleed in deltarune since it's in a different universe from undertale.

Both of these are WRONG now that I've finished chapter 4.

The second floor in the library has a new interaction with a book on monster funerals, it is exactly the same as the book from undertale's library on the same subject; this one was not written for a school project though.

Throughout chapter 4 we interact with Gerson in the dark world, and Susie treats him like any other lightner, despite the fact that he's a shopkeeper and magically disappears and reappears around her several times in the chapter.

When Susie finds his hammer covered in his dust in the light world, she realizes he's dead and became a darkner. But take a look at her dialogue for just a second.

How come she refers to monsters in the 3rd person when she could have included herself, and she initially doesn't understand why somebody would keep the dust of a loved one. Why? Ralsei refers to her as "the monster" in the original prophecy, and obviously she isn't a human. She doesn't look like anything other than a monster, and she doesn't have a human soul - that's why she asks Kris at the end of chapter 4.

While she does seem confused about a lot of things surrounding monsters and their culture (commenting on gingerbread monsters after asking toriel what they were for example) but this is probably due to her homelife.

She's lived in multiple towns and if King is supposed to mirror her own father, than he certainly isn't going to care enough to spend time with her and show her gingerbread monster cutters or even get her cool monster costumes, etc. So of course she's going to have trouble relating to other monsters.

The first time Susie is ever shown proper love and care is in the dark world! (yes dw i did not forget about toriel and the bench, but it's not relevant for my next point) Chapter 3 focuses on the importance of Darkners as objects, contrasted with how they feel. This obviously impacts Susie since these worlds and these people are so near and dear to her, and it shouldn't matter whether or not they're "real" they're alive.

In chapter 4 once Gerson finds his study, there's a plaque above his fireplace that describes a mythical axe. On my first playthrough I went out of my way to find this axe for Susie, I had no clue it would unlock the secret boss. I do think that this is important information for Susie and her character arc (which I'll come back to this)

Gerson and Susie get so incredibly close this chapter. It is such an unlikely and yet incredibly sweet friendship.

After defeating Jackenstein in the dark zone, Ralsei tries to heal him multiple times, which doesn't work. Susie, having already been told that she doesn't need to heal from Ralsei, walks away. Gerson is the one who encourages her to heal him. Gerson encourages her to grow and improve her magic from Chapter 2!

Speaking of Susie's magic ability; in my old post I went over her odd magic abilities. In the alternate ending for chapter 1, Susie can learn pacify BY HERSELF to use on the king. In chapter 2 Ralsei teaches Susie to heal. And in chapter 4 Gerson's fight helps her healing incrase dramatically.

Susie's magic use has intrigued me for the longest time, especially since she has all these other oddities; her room in the dark world for one.

Unlike Kris' room, Susie's (I'm assuming that's her room) in the light world does not match the dark world other than her bed being mirrored (which is also true for Kris). She gets a brand new fridge, her window is shaped differently, and she gets a dresser and lamp. Meanwhile her room in the light world is completely empty.

Susie has this carpet with the ACT symbol on it, which relates to not only her magic use, but it almost foreshadows Susie learning how to ACT?????? from the MAGIC MENU????????? in chapter 2.

Susie's room is also littered with all these crowns. Despite Ralsei telling her that she's supposed to wear ribbons, Susie has never been feminine? The only reason I'd assume they'd be there is for that reason. Susie DOES refer to herself as a king on a few occasions in ch 2 though, such as during the trash scene and in tasque interactions.

Going back to the prophecy in ch 4. This looks nothing like Susie.

Especially compared to her drawing from the legend Ralsei tells; The statue based off this illustration is even compared to Susie directly. While the silhouette looks nothing like Susie (even wielding a sword???) the story beats match hers, like finding love and supposedly whatever happens at the end of the prophecy.

What this figure does kind of look like is a princess! And seeing as this whole chapter is focused on stories and prophecies, I think this kind of checks out.

Why and how would she be a princess though? - if this is even really her in those images. She's literally a regular monster not only in deltarune but in undertale too. The only mention of her and her family in UT is that they live in the same city as clam girl - who just so happens to be a goner. Hell she has a couple of other odd connections to Gaster and the overall idea of darkworlds.

In chapter 2 if you enter the diner to talk to Catti about Noelle she'll say "She is the light, but lately she strays too far into the darkness" and then she clarifies she's speaking about Susie. While we know she dislikes Susie and is jealous of Noelle's romantic interest in her, this still really intrigues me just based on wording alone.

There's only a few activities that are available after sealing the fountain in ch 4, and one of them is sitting by the lake with Susie. After a certain period of time passing she'll ask Kris if they can hear anything; which we can't. She says it sounds like somebody is playing music on the other side - something Onionsan mentions in the earlier chapters.

Water imagery is absolutely associated w/ gaster and the dark worlds. From the gonermaker background using an ocean image + the fountains using that same image texture, it's no wonder the lake has dark world associations too.

What was interesting was that another character seemed to have alluded to this song earlier in ch 4. Gerson. Before his battle with Susie begins he tells her "Can you hear it? Can you hear its song, singing from the deep...?" this immediately reminded me of the song of the sea.

Going back to my first point about their close relationship; Gerson tasks Susie with writing a letter to his son, because he knows he's deceased, even though he never says it outright. He's unique in the sense that the dust of a lightner can be mixed with an object for them to come back as darkners. Mind you, when Susie creates a dark world his suits of armor (objects → full darkners) are seperate entities from him.

I dissected how blood is supposed to work in deltarune so I'd assume instead of dusting (he's already made of dust) Gerson probably bleeds in the dark world, despite having the full appearance of a lightner.

Say that upon shattering glass, one of our hereos starts to bleed.

Even though it shouldn't be possible for them to bleed. Let's just say that they can and not elaborate any further.

Let's also say maybe somehow, someway, somebody found a way to have a child who was both a lightner and darkner.

Let's also look at how interesting it is, that they share the same attack. Those who are created from both the light, and the dark :)

#deltarune #deltarune spoilers #susie deltarune #deltarune theory #ouhhhhhh im SO back #im tired and i have a migraine so im sorry i wish i could add more #like more gerson dialogue...#something something ''there's a fire burning in you. burning black'' something something... about stories with twists #and also something about not following the legend so closely... maybe she wasn't even supposed to be the girl. maybe she was the prince #sorry anyways

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marilynthornhilllover · 8 months ago

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Hi! Can I have a request on "mommy!marilyn x Reader"? like when Marilyn teaches reader how to drive but R messed up and Marilyn get angry and decided to spank r at the back at the car trunk and f***k r until r know what she did was wrong? (NFSW, spanking, and strap-on)

Kinktober fanfic #1

Was it casual then?

Mommy Marilyn T. X Fem!Reader

Warning: NSFW smut, praise kink, degradation kink, mommy kink, spanking, use of strap, fingering, jealousy,cliffhanger, moms friend, etc.

The bell rang announcing the end of another boring school day. As students rushed out of their class rooms and into the hallway to exit the building you could feel the relief of not having to worry about anymore crazy assignments and the urge towards wanting to punch people’s children because they weren’t pulling their weight in group projects creeping in. You walked quickly towards your locker to empty your book bag, you had plans for tonight and you didn’t want anything holding you back.

“ hey girl, you’re coming to the new club downtown tonight right?” You may have turned around too quickly because you swore you just gave yourself a huge whiplash, but no way on gods green earth was the ‘Rebecca o’olva’ talking to you right now. She was like the Beyoncé of the school and in her world you had to look a certain way in order for her to even acknowledge your entire existence. But anyways there she stood looking gorgeous as always, short dark blue denim shirt with a cute star hemming style, a fuzzy cropped zipper sweater and of course her minions standing behind her like she was their military patrol officer.

Becca was cool. you weren’t allowed to call her that aloud, her group would probably punch the shit out of you if you tried to get too friendly. She wasn’t mean though, just a ‘shy trying to maintain good grades because I come from a uptight family full of assholes that are rich self maker’s who would burn the world to crisps if I didn’t become a millionaire too kinda girl’.Though sometimes she didn’t mind lavishing herself in the wealth and acting like a spoiled brat.

“ oh— uh—I hi?” You said awkwardly, her crystal blue eyes tore you apart as she stood there grinning at you. Her friends giggled but immediately stopped when she turned to flash them look with a not so kind face. Rebecca took a small step closer to you and smirked.

“ you must be y/n. You know me already but anyways there’s a new club that’s opening tonight and everyone’s going” yeah no shit cause your inviting them, but by all needs carry on. “ and I wanted to know if you’re interested in tagging along because I’m one of the host” she finally said with a victory smile as if she won the lottery, well she kinda already did. Well… her family did.

You stood there as stiff as stage four rigga morris. You blinked a few times maybe trying to analyze maybe if you had zoned out or maybe was daydreaming and needed to come back to reality but she was still there with that goddamn hideous creepy Halloween coded smile on her face. And her friends sharp eyes weren’t helping your nerves to cool down . And then you decided to do something even more stupid and life threatening.

“ sorry but I don’t drink alcohol and I already had plans for the weekend with my friends so with all due respect Beyoncé I think I’ll p—“ before you could finish your sentence her four friends corner you and push you back hard against the cold metal of your locker. You winced and tried to seem as tough as possible by standing back up but a Barbie looking one with wet lashes and overlapping Matted lipstick pulled you closer to her by your collar.

“ listen here doormat, she’s kind but we’re not so you better take up the offer” she whispered eerily.

“ and we better see you there” another muttered. You involuntarily nodded and in a sharp instant she released you. Rebecca was still fucking smiling at you but then they all took off laughing. These crazy fucking bitches. You proceeded to quickly empty your bag, deciding to just leave the entire bag in the damn locker since you didn’t have any homework to worry about and school doesn’t reopen til Tuesday so you had time to come back for something just in case . Walking briskly out of the empty halls you waved goodbye to the elderly janitor Mrs. Hanson on your way out.

You sighed as you felt the cool air pressed across your skin and the warm afternoon sun as it escalated down your face and body areas. All the busses were long gone, with the last one pulling out of the drive and taking off into the distance. You sighed again but this time one of stress and agony. You looked around the parking lot and suddenly your entire body freezes and your eyes go wide. Standing not far out was your mom’s best friend. Not the weird old ugly ones that asked you weird questions, hot and steamy mommy coded Marilyn thornhill.

Marilyn always thought you were a rude rebellious teenager when you were younger but it was just you trying to hide your feelings from her. And soon eventually she caught on. There were times in the past when she would tease you, get under your skin. Push you past your comfort zone in more ways imaginable. And you loved it, you neeeded it, you craved it like a drug. You two had a little fling, she was your first and then she just left town and you never say her in the light of day again. So seeing her here now was like seeing a past lover, like the crazy teary scenes in the movies.

Except your heart was going 100mph and your private region suddenly grew a heart beat making you swallow thickly. And you could feel the saliva go all the way down there and soon enough you were becoming insatiably wet.

“ come here baby” you heard her say, leaning against the hood of her car with her legs crossed she took an inhale of her cigarette before it got lost under her boot on the ground. You felt a familiar shiver that only she made you feel. You knew how these interactions ended but your feet betrayed you and you started taking slow strides towards her. And the closer you got the more the temptation of what could happen, what has happened seemed soul demanding.

When walked closer to her you made sure to maintain a perfect gap space in case you needed to run away from her. Far away from her destruction that you so desperately craved. But sensing your hesitation Marilyn smirked and chuckled softly under her breath and in one swift motion captured her lips with yours by using your tie to pull you closer towards her. Your lips fought against each other in a slow passionate fight at first, just feeling each other closer then Marilyn became hungry. She bit down on your lips which caused you to moan as she used the opportunity to push her tongue pass your lips gate.

She wrapped the tie around her hand more tightly pulling you onto her even more. Being so flush against her again did things to you. You felt hot and desperate. Her body heat, her perfume a mix of lavender and something dark and citrus like. Something dangerous, like her. Your nipples slowly awakened themselves to the new found intimacy and a desire that raged war in you. Marilyn’s tongue fought against yours in a war of dominance and obviously she won leading you to just submitting to her, as your chest flattened and your body went limp against hers.

Marilyn smiled against your lips before she pulled away, wiping away any salvia trails that may have connected both your lips like a bridge. She looked down at you and you squirmed under her gaze. She chuckled and gave you a quick peck on your forehead.

“ well hello to you too, my love” she whispered against your lips before they connected with yours again and you had to push her off you before her thoughts got the better of her and she couldn’t control herself.

“ stop it Mari, there’s still staff members here.” You told her and she straightened up, fixing her posture. She looked at you with those ‘ I don’t give two fucks eyes I literally fucked you in your mom’s bedroom when she was cooking’ eyes but she stopped because she respected your boundaries and your body.

“ nice car” you finally said after fixing your clothes and putting a few inches between the both of you so pass byers wouldn’t have rumors to spread.

“ thanks it’s s yours” she said looking at the car then back at you, you laughed for a moment shaking your head at her joke before you realized that she wasn’t joking. Your eyes widen and you felt your feet betray you once more because all of a sudden you start jumping like a like kid who just got told that they were officially going to see Santa. You wrapped your arms around her neck and began kissing her all over her face, the older woman chuckled at your childish behavior and wrapped her arms around your waist pulling your closer.

“ but I can’t even drive yet” she must have saw the disappointment in your eyes because she squeezed your sides tighter forcing you to look at her.

“ I’ll teach you darling, maybe we can even test it out to see if it’s fuckable in” she said whispering the last part, you rolled your eyes and swatted her chest.

“ your hopeless you know that” she chuckled and lead you to the car, not just any car by the way a BMW M8 competition. You loved having a hot milf mommy that’s smoking rich.

——————————-

“ fucking damn it y/n what’s so hard in just putting your goddamn foot on the pedal” Marilyn was starting to piss you off, she had taken you out on some abandoned racing track in the middle of nowhere to practice you on driving and yelled at you every fucking time you messed up. You rolled your eyes and sighed. You looked over at her who was staring daggers at you as her breathing elaborated more and more each time she inhaled. It was like she was the big bad wolf in the three little pigs story.

“ are you fucking stupid or deaf? Put your fucking foot on the pedal!” She shouted more sternly this time, her tone taking no softness. She was angry but so the fuck were you.

“ you know what Marilyn fuck you , how about you take your car and shove it up your ass if you’d like” you opened the door and got out slamming the door after. You heard her grunt as she got out too but you didn’t pay much attention to her as you made your way around the car. You didn’t even know where you were going, there’s no where to go. You were in the middle of no where and she was your only was back to civilization. Before you could process it all you felt a firm grip in your hair as your body got slammed onto the cold surface of the car trunk.

You groaned in slight pain as you turned your head to the side to stare at the culprit. Marilyn’s grip remained in your hair and her other non occupied hand bunched up your platted skirt around your hips and in one swift motion pulled down your panties til they fell around your ankles. You couldn’t lie, something about being in the middle of nowhere all alone with Marilyn made your insides churn and your pussy pulse. Flash backs of you riding her cock at your friends party in her bedroom closet to sucking her off at a birthday party, to her pounding into your pussy out in a dressing room and yes of course the first time she made you cum on your moms bed when she was cooking.

All the memories came back. And this would fit perfectly to the list. You were already completely soaking, probably dripping just for her.

“ you fucking whore, all mommy wanted to do was surprise her baby and teach her how to drive but now mommy got put someone in their place” she whispered against the skin of your neck, her hot breath making you tremble under her hold. She yanked your hair making you prop yourself up onto your elbow. Her hand rested onto your lower back carefully arching your back for you and you complied. Marilyn stared at your ass cheeks for a moment, your round curvy ass bent back, all for her. She couldn’t help but bring her hand to the flesh fumbling with it before a hard swat came down causing you to cry out at the unexpectedness.

She felt you shiver against her and did it again. You whimpered and tried to lay down to give yourself some comfort but she held you up. Tears pricked at your eyes and the wind blowing in your face made it worst.

“ god i missed you baby” she muttered under her breath mostly to herself but you heard and it only turned you on more. She spanked your ass again and the pain slowly started mixing with the pleasure allowing a moan to coarse through your throat and out of your mouth. Marilyn smirked to herself and did it again this time for harshly, making the sore and redden flesh jiggle. You let out a more choked moan this time and she chuckled darkly.

“ yeah moan just like that for mommy” she let lose of your hair and grabbed the underneath of your neck forcing your head backwards to look at her. “ I wanna hear you fucking scream while I milk that pussy like the olden days” she used her forearm to push you against the hood of the car.

“ suck” she spat roughly as she shoved two fingers into your mouth, you gave her digits a few sucks seductively taking your time to draw out slow swirls across her knuckles before she pulled them from your mouth. She thrusted three digits into you in one swift motion causing your eyes to roll back completely. A grutal moan escaped from your mouth and it was a good thing that you both were in a secluded place or maybe the both of you would have been on the news…..

Marilyn’s pace was detrimental. She kept whispering sweet nothings into your ear as her fingers rutted deep inside of you with no mercy. Your nails scratched the hood of the car as a familiar pressure from deep within your stomach started to come back.

“ there she is, i can feel you clenching baby girl, go ahead and let go for mommy” she whispered against your ear, she placed a soft lingering kiss behind your earlobe, your back arched when you felt her cross curl her fingers deep within you as she increased her pace. It was only a matter of time before you came on her fingers with a loud cry. Marilyn smirked to herself and slid her fingers out of you. She gently licked the juices off her fingers while she watched you squirm before the wave of your orgasm. Your breathing was shallow and rigid as you tried to keep it under control and brace yourself for whatever was to come next.

You could hear Marilyn unbuttoning her pants, looking over your shoulder you see her slide her pants down to her ankles before her gaze met yours. What really caught your eye’s attention what the huge purple strap that was attached to her waist ready to absolutely destroy you to pieces. You bit your bottom lip as you looked at the strap and then back up at her, she had the most devilish grin imaginable and you knew her intentions. Marilyn wasted no time as she spread your legs apart, placing one of them up on the car’s bumper giving herself a better access to your cunt. You heard her spit on the strap before quickly dragging her hand up and down her length.

She wasted no time and inserted her cock into you. Your head fell against the car and your back arched. Marilyn held the flesh under your thigh as her hips bottomed out inside you. You felt so full of her. Her cock was pressing against the spongy spot inside you and it felt so fucking good. You missed her and her dick so bad you wished she had a real one. Marilyn withdrew her hips slowly as she watched in awe as your juices coated her length. She grabbed a fist full of your hair pulling you back against her chest as she slowly began thrusting.

“ oh god please—“ your sentence was cut of by a soft moan that was quickly followed by a whimper as Marilyn increased her pace.

“ you stubborn girl, can’t follow simple driving instructions but you sure can take dick” she spat with a small chuckle causing you to whine. Her praises and dirty talk will soon have you spurting to the edge and you didn’t wanna be seen as a slut. But you wouldn’t just be anyone’s slut. You’ll be her slut. And right now, with her cock buried deep within you and her tight grip in your hair you didn’t mind at all. Marilyn released her hold on your hair and used her hands to toy with your nipples. You cursed out a shallow moan and cried. Marilyn laughed mockingly and twisted your nipples between her fingers.

She looked down at where your cunt and her cock was connected and bit her hips before she too released a soft moan of her own.

“ fucking pussy so good” she whispered under her breath. She watched as your pussy pulsed and creamed on her length, sucking in a breath she grabbed your hair again.

“ you gonna fucking cum again? Mhmh? Fucking whore mommy treats this pussy too nice huh?” She tutted as her hips found a new speed now pounding your guts fast and deep, she curved her hips in an angle that made her tip bend against that sweet point deep within you. Watching as your eyes roll back and your legs tremble she spanks your ass cheek and runs her hand down your spine before slipping it around infront to play with your small bud.

“ fuck I—OH GOD MARILYN PLEASE—“ you croaked out, panting you reached your hand around and gently placed it on her abdomen in attempt to slow her hips but she was unstoppable. Your body fell limp against the car as you laid there and took her dick with grace.

“ fuck yes, take it baby, fucking take my cock, your gonna look at me and cum on my dick, fucking look at me” she said firmly going even deeper as her hips rocked faster within you. The sound of her cock moving in and out of you and your moans, the way she was speaking to you and her hands roaming your body and playing with you clit at some point it all became too much and you obeyed her. Turning your head to the side your gaze met hers in a pleading attempt to which it fell on deaf ears. Her pace was brutal and her thrusts were snapping sharp.

“Mary—I can’t—fuck I” she knew what you wanted to say, and she felt it. She leaned down and connected her lips with yours as you neared your edge. In one swift motion she deepened the arch in your back which allowed her strap to be driven even deeper into your cunt and that was it. Your body spammed as your cunt clenched down hard on her cock. You felt your juices release on her cock as you shuttered. You were completely out of breath and tired. But god did you wanna go again. You forgot just how good Marilyn has made you fell, can make you feel. And man did you love it. You turned around and sat up properly on the cars trunk and looked at her.

Her eyebrows quirked and she smirked at you. She kissed you softly but soon it transformed into something rough and passionate. She gently pushed you down back against the trunk and opened your legs to where disaster just occurred, to the mess she just caused you to make.

“ I wanna taste you now…..”

#fypシ゚viral #fanfic #marilynthornhilllover fanfics #g!p marilyn thornhill #marilyn thornhill fanfic #marilyn thornhill x reader #marilyn thornhill #smut fanfics #wlw smut #spooky #halloween #larissa weems smut fanfic #lady dimitrescuxreader #gwendoline christie #wednesday netflix

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ukiyoryn · 5 months ago

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Hermione barely noticed his arrival. By the time he stepped into her cubicle, her desk was a disaster zone of half-open tomes, scribbled notes, and a half-drunk cup of tea.

She immediately pointed towards the exit, which was… just the walkway. “Absolutely not.”

“Morning, Granger,” Draco drawled, leaning against the cubicle wall. It wobbled, and he gave it a cursory glance of disapproval before standing straight again. “Sorry, I already tried. Kingsley thinks I’m the one who needs to babysit you. Thrilled to be here.”

Hermione sighed and went back to work.

She didn’t bother to look up as she thumbed through the pages of two books at the same time. “I don’t need a babysitter, Malfoy. And I’m busy.”

“So I see,” Draco said, eyeing the chaotic desk and, more importantly, the ominous crate. “What’ve you got there?”

“A delivery.”

“Very quick off the mark, aren’t you?”

She narrowed her eyes, flicking a glare his way, before flipping two pages. “I believe there are some cursed artifacts from Japan inside.” She waved her wand over the crate, muttering diagnostic charms. “I just haven’t been able to open it yet.” The diagnostic glittered into being, sparkling various red and purple hues before exploding into shimmering dust.

“I’m assuming that’s not supposed to happen?”

Her nose wrinkled. “No.”

“How long have you been at this?”

“All fuc—” she cleared her throat, forced a placid smile, and then tried again. “All day.”

She finally resigned to look at him, sitting back in her own squeaky swivel chair, she let her gaze dart over his person. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d actually spoken to Malfoy. Perhaps two years ago during a New Year’s party at Seamus’s pub?

He looked the same, and by the same, she meant otherworldly attractive and annoyingly posh.

He was still overwhelmingly tall compared to the average wizard—not that she expected him to shrink any time soon—but it was still jarring to witness up close. That shock of pale hair remained coiffed and shiny no matter the state of his person or the time of day, and Hermione found herself glaring at his otherwise perfect, punctilious, prim appearance.

His Auror robes were, of course, immaculately pressed and somehow looked to be without a single hint of lint or even a rogue strand of hair. She resisted the urge to look at her own robes, knowing they must be frumpled and stained from the hours she had spent crouched in various positions all throughout her cubicle.

“I figured, given the state of your hair.”

Her brows nearly hit her hairline beneath her charmed bangs, cast daily to remain in a near perfect state of just enough wispy-ness (humidity non-withstanding). She immediately pat her mane of chestnut curls, no longer frizzy and untamed as they once had been in her girlhood. Her expression darkened when the beginnings of a grin began to overtake his mouth.

Her hair charms were still perfectly fine.

Wanker, she thought, eyes turning into little slits.

Swot, his answering sneer replied.

“So, aside from your failure in figuring out what you’re looking at, what are your thoughts on why exactly my presence is needed?”

“I assume it has something to do with my overwhelming status of importance within the Ministry.”

Her smile was not coy, but positively catty.

“Yes, yes, the Wizarding World’s Leader of Innovating Ideas. I rather believe the title suggests all you know how to do is bore an audience to death with useless knowledge.”

“I’ll have you know I have a combined number of eight degrees, two of which are mastery’s and one a doctorate—”

“—Granger, I jest.”

She snapped her lips together into a tight line.

He waved a lazy hand towards the crate, resigning himself to accept their current predicament. She begrudgingly did the same.

“Catch me up to speed.”

So, she did, and somehow, Draco did not appear to be the least bit bored. He asked her questions, parroted her answers back for clarity before he streamlined some of his own opinions and observations.

#dramione #dramione fanfic #hermione x draco #dracomalfoy #hermione granger #dramione fic #the granger malfoy survival guide to magic and mischief #ukiyoryn

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sicklysweetwords · 2 months ago

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FANDOMS LIST ╰┈➤ Created 4/23/25

Update Log ⤷ 4/23/25 . 1:03pm ⤷ 4/24/25 . 2:11am ⤷ 6/25/25 . 2:10am

All Saints Street

Baldi's Basics in Education and Learning

Big Windup!

Black Butler

Bleach

Blue Lock

Boyfriend To Death

Bungou Stray Dogs

Chainsaw Man

Cirque du Freak

Cold Front

Cookie Run Kingdom

Creepypasta

DanDaDan

Dandy's World

Danganronpa (games + anime)

Dead Plate

Demon Slayer

Detroit Become Human

Devil's Line

Diamond no Ace

Dr.Stone

Dramatical Murder

DSMP / OSMP / QSMP

Eddsworld

Elevator Hitch

Five Nights At Freddy's

Friday Night Funkin (including mods)

Full Metal Alchemist

Garten of BanBan

Genshin Impact

Hellaverse (Hazbin Hotel + Helluva Boss)

Hetalia

Homestuck

Honkai: Star Rail

HunterxHunter

Hypnosis Mic

IdentityV

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

Jujutsu Kaisen

Kuroko's Basketball

Legend of Zelda

Madness Combat + Madness: Project Nexus

Mashle

Metal Family

Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Chat Noir (including movies)

Moriarty the Patriot

Mouthwashing

My Hero Academia

Nanbaka

One Piece

Ouran Highschool Host Club

Pandora Hearts

Princess Tutu

PROMARE

Rusty Lake

Saiki K.

School Bus Graveyard

Servamp

Seven Deadly Sins

Sk8 Infinity

Supernatural

The Chamber of Five (if anyone other than Rowan and myself actually know it-)

The Demonata

The Vampire Dies In No Time

The World Ends With You

Tokyo Ghoul

Trigun

Trinity Blood

Undertale / Deltarune

Vanitas no Carte

Vocaloid

Zom-B

Experimental Fandoms

These are fandoms I'm willing to experiment in and get out of my comfort zone when it comes to muses

Arcane

Pokémon

Persona

#⋆˙⟡ Spider Bite #⋆˙⟡ ooc #fandoms #fandom #fandoms list #fandom list #rp #roleplay #rp account #roleplay account #rp blog #roleplay blog #multimuse #multiship #multiverse #multimuse rp

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cruel-nature-records · 30 days ago

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OUT NOW!

Just letting you know that our May batch of tapes are available now at cruelnaturerecordings.bandcamp.com

1) FILALETE "Aeternitas” - Second album of modern classical solo piano ambient compositions from the Georgian DJ / producer

"combines art song-like piano motifs with ambient structures and detailed field recordings. Orchestral passages are added in a restrained manner, underscoring rather than boasting, evoking a quiet melancholy. " (African Paper)

2) AUSTIN POTTER "New Romantic" - A unique voice with lyrical themes of love and admiration akin to early Dylan and Cohen

3) BEIGE PALACE / LO EGIN split - Leeds lo-fi anti-rockers Beige Palace go head to head with (also Leeds) brass-infused sludge metallers Lo Egin

"diverse, noisy, weird, and wonderful" (Aural Aggravation)

4) SAD MAN "ART" - Dark ambient and experimental electronics, based on a short story inspired by Midlands surrealist artist and painter Emmy Bridgewater

"a mixture of scratchy drones, extended tinkling, and the diffuse mirage of popular culture quotations unfolds. The soundscape is raw but precisely produced, clearly an attempt not only to embrace the unpredictable, but to deliberately use it as a creative tool. " (African Paper)

5) K OF ARC "Antidrome" - Spectral drones, electronic atmospheres, ritual drums, creating zones of non-human encounters, magnetic urban hauntings, and cosmic horror

6) LUSH WORKER "Free Rock Compositions" - The latest from Mike Vest’s solo project, Lush Worker. Transcendental improvised free rock and drone compositions made in the heart of Winter 2024

7) THE RIGHT HAND IS DOOMED TO BLACKEN “Greenbridge 12.11.24” - Experimental soundscapes, fusing motorik psych rock, synth wave, gothic balladry, and industrial post punk

""Antipodes" begins as something echoing The Necks’ Chris Abrahams backing the new-era Bad Seeds. Slowly unravelling into an spiritual folk drone stanza" (Sun 13)

#cassette #music #cruelnaturerecords #tape #limited edition #new music #bandcamp #experimental

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thegreatbeargod-writes · 1 year ago

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Hi there! I didn’t even know these intros were a thing until yesterday, but I’m always looking for new writing friends, so better late than never!

Name: Orion Arthur

Pronouns: he/him

Age: 26

Authors who inspire me: Brandon Sanderson, Leigh Bardugo, Suzanne Collins, V.E. Schwab, Becky Chambers, Philip Pullman, Ursula K. Le Guin

Other inspirations: mythology and folklore, theology, history, music (this space left intentionally vague or we would be here all day), The Adventure Zone: Balance, Camlann (podcast), Welcome to Night Vale, Over the Garden Wall, Firefly, Breath of the Wild/Tears of the Kingdom

Other hobbies: TTRPGs, visual art, crochet

Genres: fantasy with horror elements, sometimes fanfiction

I like to write: messy queer characters, dramatic irony, the power of love and friendship, hope in the face of impossible odds, art as magic and magic as art, divinity in the ordinary

Bonus features: queer, trans, neurodivergent, unhealthy relationship with serif fonts, crippling addiction to commas, almost failed classes in high school because I did NaNoWriMo instead of homework

Main/personal blog: @bisexual-kelsier

Project blog: @wherethelightdances

My WIP

Saint of Kindred Spirits

The spirits will have their vengeance.

adult fantasy

3rd person

multiple points of view

primarily queer main cast

working on draft 1

Ellis Daling is many things--a powerless prince, a drunken rake, a charming musician. He spends his days suffocating in a palace where he has no place and his nights sneaking off to seedy taverns where he can forget who he is for a while.

But his life is turned upside down when a chance encounter with Carian, an infuriating rebel leader with mysterious origins, awakens magic he never knew he had--an ability sure to get him executed if the wrong person finds out about it.

Ellis is forced to turn to Carian for help learning to control his newfound powers and finds himself quickly pushed to the forefront of the rebel cause, caught precariously between his family, his beliefs, and his budding feelings for Carian. It's only a matter of time before he'll be forced to choose his priorities, and the fate of his nation may hinge on his decision.

Content warnings: alcohol abuse, bigotry, violence and mild gore, familial tension, non-explicit sexual content — this list is not exhaustive, I am a discovery writer first and a person second

If you’re interested in beta reading this project, swapping writing, etc., please shoot me a message! I’d love to get to know you! For personal comfort reasons, I will not be sending my work on this project to anyone under 18.

#god those pngs are kinda crunchy #I wanted to make this prettier but I’m doing this on mobile while at work so it is what it is #writeblr #writeblr intro #writers on tumblr #writerscommunity

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sophie-hatter-jenkins · 9 months ago

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😨- The fanfiction that made you leave your comfort zone

From the fanfiction writers Ask Game

Oh, I love this question - thank you! My first instinct was Not Even A Little Bit, Not Even At All, which is/was by far the most explicit smut I have ever written and definitely was not always comfortable about.

Buuuuut - actually, I think it's The Loyal Companion. I was SO nervous to post this. Before I did, the whole time I'd been writing fanfiction, I'd written Hinny/Romione Lightning Era, with just a smidge of Next Gen. I'd never touched Marauders, and never written any Jily.

However, in the early part of this year, I started to read a bit of Jily, which turned into a lot of Jily. I started to follow many of the wonderful authors in the Jily community, and I got bitten by the bug.

Given the high quality of work that comes from this corner of the fandom, I was super-nervous to post my first Jily, but I am so glad I did - everyone has been so lovely, welcoming and encouraging, and TLC turned out to be the first of many.

(Disclaimer - no, TLC isn't finished. I'm hoping to have it done by the end of the year, but we'll see!)

#ask game #fanfiction ask game #ask game for fanfiction authors #asked and answered #jily #jily au #james potter #lily evans #jple #james x lily

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overworkedblorbobattle · 2 years ago

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Overworked Blorbo Battle Round 1!

Round 1 will be split into 8 waves of 8 week long polls with each wave being posted 24 hours after the previous begins. The first wave will start on Friday the 29th of July at 3pm BST

The matchups are listed under the readmore

The matchups were all randomised although I did make minor adjustments if I thought one was much too unfair.

Wave 1:

Ada Paige (Rythm Doctor) Vs Sips (Fools Gold)

Cliopher Mdang (The Hands Of The Emperor) Vs The Manager (The Hotel Podcast)

Adam Parrish (The Raven Cycle) Vs Five Pebbles (Rain World)

Almond Cookie (Cookie Run) Vs Steven Universe (Steven Universe)

Dot Campbell (The Wilds) Vs Hera (Wolf 359)

Arthur Lester (Malevolent Podcast) Vs Gordon Michael Schwinn (A New Brain)

Anthy Himemiya (Revolutionary Girl Utena) Vs Fu Hua (Honkai Impact 3rd)

Commander Peepers (Wander Over Yonder) Vs Kusuo Saiki (The Disastrous Life Of Saiki K.)

Wave 2:

Bucky Barnes (Marvel) Vs Percy Jackson (Percy Jackson)

Dana Scully (The X Files) Vs Gregor Samsa (Metamorphosis)

Danny Fenton (Danny Phantom) Vs Harrowhark Nonagesimus (Gideon The Ninth)

George Cubbins/Karim (Lockwood and Co) Vs Ling Wen (Heaven’s Official Blessing)

DC/GOV (Welcome To The Table) Vs Pandemonica (Helltaker)

David Jacobs (Newsies) Vs Logainne Schwartzandgrubenierre (The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee)

Dean Winchester (Supernatural) Vs Squidward (SpongeBob SquarePants)

Ford Pines (Gravity Falls) Vs Charlie Magne (Hazbin Hotel)

Wave 3:

Gilgamesh Wulfenbach (Girl Genius) Vs Charlotte Dubois (Falsettos)

Jaehee Kang (Mystic Messenger) Vs Angela (Lobotomy Corporation)

Kevin Kandy (Spooky Month) Vs Robin (Smash Legends)

Kento Nanami (Jujutsu Kaisen) Vs Vera Oberlin (Monster Prom)

Homura Akemi (Madoka Magica) Vs Ratchet (Transformers)

Hunter (The Owl House) Vs Ponder Stibbons (Discworld)

Isabelle (Animal Crossing) Vs Aymeric De Borel (Final Fantasy)

Izzy Hands (Our Flag Means Death) Vs Luisa Madrigal (Encanto)

Wave 4:

Jean Gunnhildr (Genshin Impact) Vs Aki Hayakawa (Chainsaw Man)

Jonathan Sims (The Magnus Archives) Vs William T Spears (Black Butler)

Jotaro Kujo (Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure) Vs Adora (She Ra)

Keito Hasumi (Ensemble Stars!) Vs Doppo Kannonzaka (Hypnosis Mic)

Jeremie Belpois (Code Lyoko) Vs Chip Revvington (Toontown: Corporate Clash)

Jamil Viper (Twisted Wonderland) Vs Lisa Wilbourn (Worm)

Guillermo de la Cruz (What We Do In The Shadows) Vs Buffy Summers (Buffy The Vampire Slayer)

Kim Dojka (Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint) Vs Shang Qinghua (Scum Villain's Self-Saving System)

Wave 5:

Kurapika (Hunter X Hunter) Vs Mafuyu Asahina (Project Sekai/Colorful Stage)

Lucifer (Obey Me!) Vs The Elsen (Off)

Marsh (Mistborn) Vs Lisa Cuddy (House MD)

Matthew Venn (The Long Call) Vs Carol Hathaway (ER)

Larry Needlemeyer (The Amazing World Of Gumball) Vs Kim Kitsuragi (Disco Elysium)

Merlin (BBC Merlin) Vs Dick Gumshoe (Ace Attorney)

Maedhros Feanorian (The Simarillion) Vs Riza Hawkeye (Fullmetal Alchemist)

Laerryn Coramar Seelie (Critical Role) Vs Lucretia (The Adventure Zone)

Wave 6:

Miles O’Brien (Star Trek) Vs Jonathan Harker (Dracula)

Miss Pauling (Team Fortress 2) Vs Susan Taxpayer (Susan Taxpayer)

MK (Lego Monkey Kid) Vs Kunikida Doppo (Bungo Stray Dogs)

Molly Blyndeff (Epithet Erased) Vs Emma Perkins (The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals)

Mrs Doyle (Father Ted) Vs Jess Jordan (Succession)

Nicholas Benedict (The Mysterious Benedict Society) Vs Jafar (Twisted: The Story Of A Royal Vizier)

Nishida (Yakuza) Vs Touta Matsuda (Death Note)

Obi-Wan Kenobi (Star Wars) Vs Alfred Pennyworth (Batman)

Wave 7:

Olruggio (Witch Hat Atelier) Vs Walter Pensive (Hello From The Hallowoods)

Parsley Botch (Smile For Me) Vs Peppino Spaghetti (Pizza Tower)

Raphael Walt (My Next Life as a Villainess) Vs Hawkeye Pierce (MASH)

Sara Chidouin (Your Turn To Die) Vs Reim Lunettes (Pandora Hearts

SecUnit (The MurderBot Diaries) Vs Lamplighter (Oneshot)

The Captain (BBC Ghosts) Vs Munkustrap (Cats)

Retsuko (Aggretsuko) Vs Burgerpants (Undertale)

Ryotaro Dojima (Persona) Vs Kiyotaka Ishimaru (Danganronpa)

Wave 8:

Steven Alen Starphase (Blood Blockade Battlefront/Kekkai Sensen) Vs Trafalgar Law (One Piece)

Shota Aizawa (My Hero Academia) Vs Loid Forger (Spy X Family)

Stanley (The Stanley Parable) Vs Rory Williams (Doctor Who)

The Cabbage Merchant (Avatar The Last Airbender) Vs Larry (Pokémon)

Mario & Luigi (Super Mario Bros) Vs Link (The Legend Of Zelda)

Peregrine Mendicant (Homestuck) Vs Marinette Dupain-Cheng (Miraculous Ladybug)

Reagan Ridley (Inside Job) Vs Will Graham (Hannibal)

Twilight Sparkle (My Little Pony) Vs Carmen Sandiego (Carmen Sandiego)

#tournament bracket #tournament brackets #tournament #tournaments #round 1 #tournament updates #tournament dates #overworked blorbo battle

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amrv-5 · 11 months ago

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7 and 17 for hawkeye? hope the evening was/is/will be nice :)

YAY ZANE HELLO!!!! and it was thank you!!!! i had to jump a fence in front of the national guard but not for bad reasons they'd just put up a fence over a pedestrian walkway on accident and gave me permission to climb it!!

for Hawkeye (7) especially postwar I like to think of him in sweaters a lot, partially I think because Alan Alda is always wearing them in other things but also because (minus the jeep sweater I think? and his purple/dark blue cardigan(s)) we don't see Hawk in many pieces of clothing like that, and they really signal civilian comfort + coziness to me. Same with a flannel. guy deserves comfortable warm clothes...

and for 17 my unoriginal answers are all like. Hawkeye would love anything by Vonnegut, and Catch-22, and I think I've projected my enjoyment of Thomas Wolfe (sorry) onto him before. But I'll lean harder into my headcanon that I think he'd really enjoy scifi. A really broad spectrum, too. I can picture him spending some downtime listening to some radio shows like X Minus 1, getting into the Twilight Zone (and of course Star Trek later...) as well as enjoying a lot of scifi publications. I think I've got him as a subscriber to Galaxy Scifi magazine in S2G2:3 (maybe...), and I think he'd get a lot out of the work of Octavia Butler and Ursula K LeGuin in later years. but that's just my thoughts... thank you for asking!!!!!

#ask game #THANK YOU!!!!#scifi enjoyer hawk a beloved headcanon

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br4inr0tx · 2 years ago

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The Masterlist

This is a list of all the fandoms I write for.

Anime/Manga

- Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure

- Boku no Hero Academia / My Hero Academia

- Kuroshitsuji / Black Butler

- Death Note

- Angels of Death

- DevilMan Crybaby

- Kakegurui

- Diabolik Lovers

- Panty & Stocking

- Hellsing

- Bungou Stray Dogs

- DAN DA DAN

Games

- PURPLE: Director’s Cut

- The Phobia Project (Demo)

- John Doe

- House Hunted

- Frost Bite

- Boyfriend to Death

- The Price of Flesh

- Your Boyfriend

- Small Yan Visual Novels (Broken Colors, Somethings Wrong with Sunny Day Jack, My Dear Hatchet Man, 14 Days With You, Monster x Mediator, Trapped With Jester, Lurking For Love, Mushroom Oasis, etc…)

- Hiveswap

- Yandere Simulator

- Danganronpa (V1, V2, V3, and Despair Girls)

- Sally Face

- Identity V

- Dead by Daylight

- Billie Bust Up!

- A Hat in Time

- Sonic the Hedgehog

- Super Mario Bros!

- Dark Deception

- Resident Evil

- Five Nights at Freddy’s

- Friday Night Funkin’

- Undertale / Deltarune

- RPG Horror Games (Ao Oni, Mad Father, Ib, etc…)

- Loveless Biker Boys / Wild Biker Boys

- Baldur’s Gate 3

- Poppy Playtime

- Call of Duty (Modern Warfare 1-3, Ghosts, and Black Ops 1-6 Only)

- That’s Not my Neighbor

- KinitoPET

- Indigo Park

- Regretevator

- Zenless Zone Zero

- Amanda The Adventurer

- Love and Deepspace

- Homicipher

- Mouthwashing

- Bad Parenting

- Papa’s Pizzaria

- Little Nightmares

- Mortal Kombat

- Stardew Valley

- Finding Frankie

- Ultrakill

- Spooky’s Jumpscare Mansion

- Outlast

- Fran Bow

Shows/Movies

- Southpark

- Hazbin Hotel

- Helluva Boss

- My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

- Monster High G1

- Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2012-2018 Only)

- Metal Family

- The Amazing Digital Circus

- Transformers (Prime and Bayverse only)

- Murder Drones

- Scott Pilgrim Vs The World / Takes Off

- Gregory Horror Show

- Happy Tree Friends

- Beetlejuice

- K-12 / Crybaby Series

- Dream SMP (CHARACTERS ONLY)

- Psycho Cuties

- PUZZELVISION

- Eddsworld

- The Boondocks

- Vampair

- Camp Camp

- Squid Game

- Aphmau: MyStreet

- The Gaslight District

Misc

- Homestuck

- Randal’s Friends

- Vast Error

- Vocaloid

- Creepypasta

- Marble Hornets

- EverymanHYBRID

- The Walten Files

- The Mandela Catalogue

- The Outsiders

- Welcome Home

- Fundamental Paper Education

- Lacey Games

- Monsters We Make

- Luluyam / Lucifer Lucifer

- The Eltingville Club

#masterlist #horror #writing #headcanons #matchups

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boysplanetrecaps · 2 years ago

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Produce 48 Recaps: Entrances (episode 1)

Hello there, National Producer! (That’s you. You’re a National Producer.)

Do you miss giant scale Korean reality shows? Are you fainting away, wishing there was one to watch? Or are you, perhaps, a fan of AleXa, Alice/Elris, Bugaboo, Cherry Bullet, El7zup, Everglow, H1-Key, IVE, IZ*one, k-dramas, Kep1er, Le Sserafim, Lightsum, Purple Kiss, Queenz Eye, Rocket Punch, Secret Number, or any of the 48 franchises - AKB48, HKT48, or NMB48? Did you watch Sixteen or Produce 101 and want to know what happened later? Did you watch GirlsPlanet999 or Queendom Puzzle and want to know what happened before? Are you bored and enjoy snarky recaps of tv shows from five and a half years ago? If you answered yes to at least one of those questions, then stick around! And if you didn’t, stick around anyway because this is going to be great. But if you’re not a fan of (a) honest assessment of skills and performance (b) curse words ( c ) sarcasm (d) long, chatty, rabbit-hole digging, silly recaps that take longer to read than it would take to watch the show, maybe not.

You might be wondering, well, who are you, anyway? I’m an adult female human being living somewhere in North America. You can call me BPR-Unnie (or BPR-Noona, if that’s better for you. This link may help you decide!) I know a smattering of Korean and a bit about Korean culture, but I’m not Korean. I know a smattering of Japanese as well but I’m also not Japanese. My favorite kpop group is EXO and from that you would be correct to conclude I tend to have a bias toward excellent singing. But if I sneak in the fact that I have watched more than my fair share of Kai fancams, you’ll learn that I am not immune to stage presence and dancing. I like girl groups and boy groups equally and am basically just the multi-est of multi-stans, though “stanning” for me doesn’t tend to include watching variety content or buying things. For the most part, I just listen to music and watch performances.

If you’re wondering, what the heck is Produce 48? As Wikipedia says, it was “the third season of the South Korean reality competition series Produce 101. It was a large-scale project in which the public ‘produces’ a girl group by voting for members out of a pool of 96 contestants from South Korea and Japan…. The show was a collaboration between the MNET series Produce 101 and the J-pop idol group AKB48.” The winning 12 girls were announced as new project group IZ*One on August 31, 2018. (Other side note: IZ*one is pronounced “is-one” not “eye-zone”, per the Korean phonetics.)

It’s fun to go back and rewatch this show because around a third of these girls went on to do other things in the world of Kpop, and it’s fun to see them when they were so much younger. Also, shows like this are fun and weird just in general.

This recap will spoil some things, but not every single thing. I’m going to, as we go along, mention where various people end up -- I’m assuming that if you’re here, you either already know or don’t mind being spoilered on that kind thing. I will point out future members of Alice/Elris, Bugaboo, Cherry Bullet, Everglow, H1-Key, IVE, Le Sserafim, Kep1er, Lightsum, Purple Kiss, Queenz Eye, Rocket Punch and Secret Number. I’ll also point out future Queendom Puzzle visitors. But I’m not going to go out of my way to tell you exactly who makes the final lineup of IZ*one, exactly when people will be eliminated, and where every single person is going to end up (I’ll tell you after they get eliminated). That seems like the best compromise based on the poll. Plenty of people become famous after a show like this without making the final line up of the debut group -- like G-Idle’s Soyeon on Produce 101. So if you don’t know the name of every member of IZ*one, you can watch the show along with me and enjoy it, while still knowing who everyone is. And if you do want to be spoilered on who makes it into IZ*one, you can just look up the names of the members and keep that handy as you read. I hope that all makes sense!

I actually watched Produce 48 many years ago -- maybe 2019? It was after IZ*one had already debuted, so I was watching to get caught up. It was the first such show I ever watched and I wasn’t in the habit yet of taking notes to keep track of everyone, so for the most part I had no idea who anyone was the whole time. I mean, with 96 girls, many of whom meet certain beauty standards and thus can look quite similar to one another, and all of whom are in the habit of changing their hair/eye color/style constantly, it’s hard. So I have almost no memory of the show except for two things: (1) loving Huh Yunjin and (2) feeling sorry for the girl who the show made fun of for having intense eyes. I thought Yunjin was obviously the best on the whole damn show and was irritated that she was ever ranked anything other than first fucking place, and that other girl, I just wanted to give her all the hugs. We’ll meet her soon enough!

Finally, you may wonder, where am I watching the show? I watch it here: https://kshow123.tv/show/produce-48/episode-1.html I have to note that sites like this are really spammy and you’ll need a good adblocker and, to be on the safe side, working anti-virus software before you to click that link. Once you’re on the page, when you first click “play” on the video, it always opens a pop up ad that you have to close and then try again, when it will actually play. The pop-ups I’ve seen haven’t been offensive or gross in any way, and this site is less spammy than the one called kisstvshow, which bombards you with actual photos of actual peens like, immediately. Just close-up peens, glistening at you. No thank you. You can also find clips of the show on Youtube, but they’re kind of disorganized. There are some bits and pieces of episode 1 in this playlist. I’ll also provide links to individual auditions as we go.

Ok, let’s go!

We start off with some typical MNET self-congratulatory stuff -- all the buzz about this show before it even debuted! -- complete with a picture of THE SAKURA™, future visual queen of Le Sserafim. Then as a gentle piano rendition of our soon-to-be-favorite song Neko-ya plays, a voice over talks about what the 96 girls (and women) on this show think about their training journey, and we see the lovely profile of Huh Yunjin. Yay! My favorite!

We hear that it’s hard for them to be trainees and that sometimes they almost want to give up. But they keep pushing forward to try. 96 seeds working hard to sprout, and the national producers will shine on them like sunshine! Awww. Produce48 starts now!

An alarm rings, shocking us awake from our gentle piano daydream. We’re confronted with… this. Whatever this is.

It’s Lee Seung Gi, the host this time! His bed is vertical! It makes too much sense!

Ok, folks, for me personally, Lee Seung Gi being host is super important, because he’s sort of the reason I’m even here. He was one of the stars of the ridiculous, the sublime, the problematic, the perfect, My Girlfriend is a Gumiho.

This drama aired on a local Korean-language cable channel back in the day (I lived in a major city that showed foreign programming on cable), and I stumbled on it while changing channels and stood there staring at it wondering what in the actual fuck I was watching. Who needs subtitles or any knowledge of Korean when you have… this?

It’s the first piece of Korean culture I ever consumed, other than kimchi. This was even before Gangnam Style! It led to me watching more k-dramas, including, eventually, It's Okay, That's Love, starring Do Kyungsoo, also known as EXO’s D.O. I was curious about what he’d be like as a musical performer, and the rest is history. So, what I’m saying is, Lee Seung Gi set off a chain reaction that led to me eventually recapping his own performance as host of this show. The circle is complete.

Lee Seung-gi (born 1987) has been a singer, specifically a solo artist, as well as an actor, since 2004. He’s like Rain, but not as irritating. He hasn’t made much money from it because of his agency stealing from him. In fact, in April of 2023, a law was passed called “the Lee Seung-gi Incident Prevention Act” which requires entertainment companies to disclose their earnings settlement details to their celebrities at least once a year. Seems like a good thing to do. He’s still in demand, I’m sure, and quite loved, so he’ll land on his feet no matter what. Seung-gi, fighting!!

Ok, back to the show! Seung-gi explains how to vote, which we can skip -- the only info of note is that only Koreans could vote back then, quite different from the modern era -- and go to about 5:30 for an extremely bombastic set reveal.

5:49 The girls start to walk in

Note: All ages given are the (international) ages of the girls at the start of the series.

The first three to walk in are the Yuehua trainees.

Left to right: Yiren, Sihyeon, Yena

Kim Si Hyeon (김시현), age 18, in the pinky/purpley long sleeved shirt

She was also on Produce 101 (first season) as a “kaein” (individual/no-agency) trainee, where she did pretty well (made it to episode 8), but didn’t necessarily stand out. After this show, she debuted as part of Everglow, where she performs under her real name and is currently the leader, as well as a visual and “face of the group.”

Choi Ye Na (최예나), age 18, with her hair in a ponytail. We’ll be seeing a lot of her this episode!

Wang Yi Ren (왕이런), age 17, pink shirt with black edges, statement belt

She is actually Chinese, though she speaks Korean pretty fluently. You probably know her now as a member of Everglow, where she is lead dancer as well as a visual and also the “face of the group.” How many faces can a group have? Also, isn’t Mia the face of the group, as well as the body and the voice and the feet and the hands? Sigh. I really like Everglow. We just… all know the drill with line distribution and center time.

They come in and exclaim how pretty and shiny the set is and say “daebak” a lot. They sit down in a row along the top, and faintly, in the distance, Bon Bon Chocolate begins to form in a songwriter’s head.

Next in is Kim Min Ju (김민주) from Urban Works. She’s 17. She was a child actress before the show. The others are impressed that she’s here by herself and that she’s very pretty.

I love how in Korea having a small face is a compliment.

She goes to sit in the first place seat, then changes her mind and chooses 5th place instead so she doesn’t have to sit up so high.

Up next is YG Kplus, a modeling agency not to be confused with regular YG, the agency that is home to Blackpink and Treasure. The trainees are Ahn Ye Won (안예원), age 17, and Choi Yeon Soo (최연수), age 19. Yeon Soo has a celebrity chef for a father but doesn’t want to just be another nepo baby. She has the black skirt, while her label-mate Ye Won is in all red. They walk in to the strains of Blurred Lines (🤢) and the other girls exclaim jealously about how tall they are. Yewon is 172 cm and Yeonsoo is 170 cm, making them both about 5’6.

Next in is a group from CNC School, featuring some familiar faces!

Left to right: Kim Yubin, Kim Da Yeon, Lee YuJeong, Yoon Eun Bin, Hong Ye Ji

Kim Yu Bin (김유빈) is 16.

Kim Da Yeon (김다연) is 15 and you may know her (now) from GirlsPlanet999 and Kep1er. Aww, this is before she got her teeth done! She’s adorable. I am a Dayeon apologist and will hear no words against her.

Lee Yu Jeong (이유정) is 14 and you may know her (now) from Lightsum.

Yoon Eun Bin (윤은빈) is 14.

Hong Ye Ji (홍예지) is 16.

Yena thinks that the CNC girls look like babies. I think she looks like a baby! And this old lady I tutored today told me that *I* look like a baby. So I guess everyone is a baby.

Next is MMO, home to the sexy Kang Daniel, everyone’s fave from Produce101 Season 2 (often called “Broduce101”). The mere mention of his name sends Yena into a tizzy. I mean, low key same (though I’m more of an Ong Seungwoo fan [though not enough to watch his Pepsi commercial omg what was that?!?]). Anyway, out comes MMO’s Won Seo Yeon (원서연), age 18, a cute girl with a nice low voice and a pretty blue outfit. She seems worried about living up to her sunbae’s success.

Next comes pretty, big eyed Ko Yu Jin (고유진), age 17. She’s from Blockberry Creative, and the Orbits out there are now resisting the urge to smash their device screen at the mere mention of that agency! [Side note: Sensitive is a great song even if Loosemble is a terrible group name. Check out the song, forgive the name.] She’s in a cute striped shirt and interviews that her role models are Taeyon and HyunA, and you know, same.

The girls in the retro polka dot dresses are from How Entertainment.

Yu Min Young (유민영) is 18, in the mint green. Kim Min Seo (김민서) is 15, in the yellow and is a Jeon Somi fan, as are we all. Wang Ke (왕크어) is 17, Chinese, and in the red.

The next group, in white tops and black booty shorts, is from MND17 Agency.

Left to right, they are:

Park Chan Ju (박찬주), unknown age. She has the tightest shirt.

Park Min Ji (박민지), age 19, was also on Produce 101 and now (2023) is in Secret Number. She has the floofiest shirt and says she likes ChungHa, which, I mean, don’t we all, but also it’s kind of funny since she was on Produce101 with her so they probably kind of know each other.

Lee Chae Jeong (이채정), age 18, who now (2023) is in a group called Alice (formerly known as Elris).

Another girl comes out in a big yellow shirt with purple… shorts? A skirt? Unclear. She is from an agency called A -team and is named Kim Cho Yeon (김초연), age 16. After this show she was in Bugaboo, a group that has since disbanded but certainly has its adherents. She also likes Chung-Ha, so much so that she also wants to be in fourth place just like her. Also, MNET hates her. HATES HER SOOOOO MUCH.

Next out is someone from MNH Entertainment, the horrible agency that utterly mismanaged poor beautiful Chung-Ha for years. (Sihyeon, who must be practicing for later, says in Japanese that she loves Chung-Ha.)

The MNH trainee is little Lee Ha Eun (이하은), who, at 13, is the youngest on the show. She’s adorable, the way a little kid is adorable, and in a meeting with Chung-Ha herself, we see that little Haeun obviously almost worships Chung-Ha. Chug-Ha tells her to be herself and people will love her. Will this prove accurate? You’ll have to keep watching to find out! As Haeun seats herself amongst all her pretty unnies, she interviews, “This place is very pressuring.” I can’t imagine being in 8th grade and on a show like this. I don’t know how I made it to and from school every day when I was in 8th grade. I don’t know how I continued to like, breathe oxygen and use it in a redox reaction in my body without screwing that up and exploding.

Side note to my loves in middle school who may be reading this: First of all, how dare you, this is for grownups, and secondly, go ahead and read anyway. Matt Groening, creator of the Simpsons, famously said “Middle school is the deepest pit in hell” and yeah, it is. So, please know that I love you. You can do this. It’s going to be rough, can’t lie, but it does keep getting a bit better. Please don’t let these years matter all that much to you. Don’t let it scar you. You’ll get through this by just trying to have as much fun as you can and not caring about crushes and whether or not they have a crush on you, or whether other kids are being nice or mean or whatever dumb middle school shit they’re pulling on you. It doesn’t matter. Just enjoy life and be as happy as possible. Once you get older, you get to decide on the kind of adult you want to be, and if you want to surround yourself with Squishmallows and watch kpop videos with all your free time, you can. Or whatever makes you happy. Hold on. You got this. Now, back to the recap.

Yena chats a lot with her friend Sihyeon, and the editors keep showing them. Yena’s charismatic and it’s fun to get her perspective. They’re sitting in those big chairs that are kind of far apart, so she has to lean way over to do it. They are talking about how they’re excited to collaborate with the Japanese girls, and that they’re excited. Yiren grins widely as she says she want to make friends with the Japanese girls. I’ve already seen more charm and cuteness out of Yiren than I have in any given Everglow video. She’s really engaging in real life -- wish we got to see a bit more of that during her performances.

Kim Dayeon is sharing what she knows about Japanese language with her teammates, but her pronunciation is a little sus.

Stone Music is up next. The four girls come out nervously, and the other girls in the audience think they look familiar.

Left to right, they are:

Jang Gyu Ri (장규리), age 20, in pink.

Jo Yu Ri (조유리), age 16, in yellow.

Lee Si An (이시안), age 19, in purple.

Bae Eun Yeong (배은영), age 21, in mint green.

All four had already appeared on a different MNET reality competition show called Idol School, which had aired the year before this show aired. What’s interesting is that Gyuri actually *won* that show and debuted as a member of its winning group, fromis_9. A lot of famous folk were on Idol School, including a personal favorite of mine, Natty (who has since debuted in the absolutely phenomenal group Kiss of Life). I’m starting to think I should go back and watch Idol School! Anyway, that’s for another day.

Next out is Cube -- everyone is very excited since Cube is a larger agency. Han Cho Won (한초원), a tall mature looking 15-year-old in a hoodie and red pants, comes out to the strains of (then) Cube artist HyunA’s “Lip and Hip.” She squints at the audience, trying to decide where to sit, and while she does that, I’ll tell you that now (2023), Chowon is in a group called Lightsum. The other girls think she’s cool and swaggy, but to me she just looks a little confused. Maybe she has bad distance vision.

Next out is FNC, home of N.Flying and AOA. (If you watched Queendom Puzzle, you might remember Chanmi/DoHwa, who used to be in AOA.) We meet Cho Ah Yeong (조아영), age 16, wearing black, and Park Hae Yoon (박해윤), age 22, wearing white. HaeYoon has since debuted as a member of Cherry Bullet. Everyone seems to be very intimidated that they’re from FNC, but me, an intellectual in the year 2023, is thinking, yeah, but no. As far as I’m concerned, FNC stands for “FuckiNg over Cherry bullet” and if you’re like, but BPR-Unnie, that doesn’t really work as an acronym, I respond, EXACTLY. Nothing about FNC works.

People are excited to meet the Starship trainees, and MNET definitely wants all of us to be excited too. And I mean. Yeah. Here they come:

Left to right: Yujin, Kahyeon, Wonyoung

An Yu Jin (안유진), age 14, in the sleeveless shirt. She had previously been in music videos and commercials.

Jang Won Young (장원영), age 13, the tallest one, in the pants

Cho Ka Hyeon (조가현), age 14, in the collared shirt and skirt

Nothing against Kahyeon, who is a lovely and talented girl, but it’s hard not to focus on the one-two punch of Yujin and Wonyoung, future stars of IVE. It’s entirely possible you’re reading this recap just because you’re fans of one or other of them. I’ll say that I’m more of a Yujin girl than a Wonyoung girl, but I like them both. True to form, they’re boisterous, showing off their smattering of Japanese knowledge, and flirting with the camera. They take turns sitting in the number one seat briefly, and then choose other seats.

The trainees are talking about how pretty everyone is, much prettier than in Season 1, and I disagree with that part, but yeah of course they’re all pretty. Yoon Eun Bin laments that she’s “the only ugly one.” Aww, baby! And of course, we keep checking in with Yena, our unofficial narrator of this episode, as she jokes non-stop with her friend Sihyeon. It kind of reminds me of how in Broduce 101 we hung out with Kang Daniel and Yoon Ji-sung for most of episode 1.

Out next is Pledis:

Who could these tall, beautiful girls be?

Huh Yun Jin (허윤진), 16, with her hair up in a ponytail, is about 5’8. Her family name 허 is sometimes transliterated “Huh” and sometimes “Heo”. Korean vowels are hard, ya’ll.

Lee Ga Eun (이가은), 23, with her shorter hair down to just her shoulders, is about 5’7. Her name is also sometimes transliterated as Kaeun.

The others girls recognize Gaeun as a former member of After School, an idol group known for their sexy concepts. (In the performance I linked to, Gaeun is the one with her hair in two braided pigtails -- she starts off on the pole on the far left. We actually see a brief clip of that performance on this episode at about 20:58.) The girls are abuzz to see Gaeun back in the idol sphere after a few years’ hiatus. That hiatus was just due to Pledis’s mismanagement. Shock! Horror! Who would have thought that PLEDIS of all companies would screw over a talented idol group? Surely, neither of THESE girls will get screwed over on this very show?

Anyway, back to 2018. You’re going to have to accept that fact that I love both of these girls a lot, but I doubt that will be a problem, because I think you’re going to love them too. Most people do -- more about that much later! Yunjin is one of the reasons that I’m rewatching this show -- I loved her the whole time I watched it the first time, as I said earlier, and I was so incredibly happy when she debuted in Le Sserafim.

The two Pledis girls sit down and we have a brief “coming up!” montage. When we come back, we can see that more girls have come in unobserved by us, the viewers, which is fine. Finally, strains of Heavy Rotation by AKB48 begin playing (“I want youuuuuuu… I need youuuuuuu…”), and the Korean girls are excited to meet the AKB girls!

First, we learn a little bit about the franchise -- it’s like, what if a female NCT, or a TripleS, but with literally 600 members, and they’re all wearing outfits that make them look like they are members of the Piñata Marine Corps. Also, most of them can’t really sing and their choreography is mostly step-touch wiggle-wiggle.

Bless their hearts.

There is, obviously, talent amongst them, as we will see. It’s just that talent is not really a *requirement* for being in the group. Girls in the AKB48 franchise are expected to be cute and cheery on stage, to approximate some form of “singing” like noises, and to learn and do choreography so easy even I could probably do it, and I’m about as coordinated as a newborn deer. Plenty of them are capable of more, and I take my hat off to those who pushed themselves to come on this show and face this challenge. They’re in for a lot, and I respect them.

I also want to say that the biggest issue I have with the AKB48 franchise is that their fanbase is almost exclusively men in their 40s who think that 19 or 20 is over the hill. It’s like, soft-core kitty-corn and I know you know what I mean. I guess a similar allegation could be made about Produce101 in general. I don’t want to linger on this for too long because these girls just want to be entertainers and to bring some fun and excitement into their lives, and it’s not their fault that middle-aged men ruin everything. But I have to acknowledge it. I could post some really disturbing pictures here of AKB48 girls in outfits that read *really, really young* but also are obviously meant to be sexy, but I really don’t want to, in part because it might make the FBI knock on my door. Similarly, I don’t want to link to it here but I’m amazed there wasn’t a public outcry about the video for Heavy Rotation. They’re all in lingerie and rolling around together and kissing each other and bathing in a bathtub together while feeding each other cherries and whipped cream. Like, it’s not subtle. Meanwhile the song itself sounds like something from a Kidz Bop album. The juxtaposition between the cutesy childish tone and the obviously sexy, almost pornographic images is really… disturbing, there’s just no other word for it. Add in the fact that Japan might be the only developed country that’s worse than the USA in terms of how it treats and cares for women, and you’ve got a pressure cooker of ick. Poor girls. I hope they’re all safe and well -- in 2018, in 2023, and beyond.

And here they come, all 19 of the AKB48 girls, in red and black plaid outfits. This specific group is from Tokyo. (Each of the -48 groups is based in a different city.) We’ll meet these girls a bit later when they perform in smaller groups.

We see that one of them, 24-year-old Miyazaki Miho, can even write in Korean a little! Good for her. Takahashi Juri -- 20-year-old future member of Rocket Punch and visitor to Queendom Puzzle -- interviews in Japanese, “I think that the popular idol singers in Korea are really the best artists in the world.” Goto Moe, 17, says that Kpop idols are true musicians. Muto Tomu, a 23 year old palindrome, says she wants to learn from the Korean idols. She and Juri want to be the best in the world. Yes! I love the ambition.

But where will they sit?

Juri, in an outfit that would make Nina Garcia weep if she had tear ducts, is tempted by the number one seat. As she should be. We love Juri in this household. But the girls’ competitiveness gives way to their friendliness, and soon all the girls, Korean and Japanese alike, are giggling and waving and making heart signs to each other. AND THAT IS WHAT I’M HERE TO WATCH, by the way. I love this shit. Friendship is the best ship.

Juri introduces herself to MND17’s ChaeJeong in careful Korean, and ChaeJeong responds in equally careful Japanese. Everyone is using the few words they know, combined with sign language and body language, to try to bridge the communication gap. They exchange hellos and names and try to figure out who’s older. The Japanese girls think the Korean system of adding a year to your age is kind of odd, but that’s how culture do.

Next out are the girls from NMB48 - the Osaka team -- in blue outfits. Then the two SKE48 girls, from Nagoya come out, in different blue outfits. One of these two is Matsui Jurina, who is only 21 but somehow looks a bit older to me.

Asai Yuka on the left, Jurina on the right.

A lot of the girls recognize Jurina; per Wikipedia, “She is recognized as SKE48's absolute "ace", having placed in the top 10 in many of AKB48's annual general elections and winning the 2018 election.” Apparently she was in AKB48 for a while, and then chose to go back to SKE48, either for altruistic reasons (to support the smaller subunit’s success) or for her own reasons (to go back to her home city, perhaps).

You’ll be hearing more about “elections”, so let me talk about that. In the -48 system, fans who have bought a copy of a 48 album are given the right to vote for the member they like best -- the general election. In other words, it’s a popularity contest, and only fans willing to spend money are allowed to vote. (There’s a story about a fan who spent $300,000 on CDs to vote for his favorite girl!) If Jurina has won so many elections, she is/was undoubtedly quite loved by her fan base. I approve of the fact that this woman, who looks like a woman and not a little kid, is/was so loved.

Side note here, and it’s a real, real, real side note, so I'm putting it in a different color so you can skip past it if you want, but the story of the man who spent $300,000 to vote for his favorite member of AKB48 reminds me a bit of the story of Grant Amato. Let me explain. Grant Amato was in his late 20s when his life hit the skids for various reasons and he began spending a ton of time in a cam girl chat room. He began “tipping” her absurd amounts of money, convinced that this was creating a genuine bond between himself and her. He began stealing from anyone who left their credit cards in his vicinity, especially his parents, from whom he stole $200,000 or more. The family tried to put him in rehab, and told him he couldn’t talk to his “girlfriend” any more -- so he killed them, in part to remove the obstacle, and in part to get their money. Looking into this story more, I learned more about the psychology of tipping cam girls, and it seems really similar to the parasocial relationship between -48 girls and their fans. No other men in the girls’ lives; the illusion of sexy, available youth; the man feeling like a protector or guardian of the girl he's never met and never will meet…. This extremely NSFW guide to cam-girling has a lot of nuggets of wisdom, especially this: “A man wants to feel attention from an attractive women on him, and this is made even more satisfying when it’s to the exclusion of those around him. He is showing off his power by buying your happiness.” I know that Grant Amato is an extreme example when it comes to him literally murdering three family members, but other people -- nearly always men -- spend that much money on cam girls and on AKB girls and on other stand-ins for real love. I don’t have some big point to make here. Just that it doesn’t seem particularly healthy to me.

Pigtailed Sato Minami, age 14 and a member of Tokyo based AKB48, interviews that everyone in Japan knows Jurina. 17-year old Nakano Ikumi says she joined AKB48 because she idolizes her, and 14-year old Asai Yuka, the other SKE48 member in Produce48, says that they all admire her.

They aren’t sure where to sit, as now only lower-ranked chairs are available, which is so silly since it doesn’t actually matter at all what chair you sit on today, but that’s the show for you. Jurina, befuddled, says “ehhhh?” which is sort of like “what” and sort of like “otoke?” It’s so characteristically Japanese that some of the Korean girls think it’s cute. Plus, they’re all eager to make friends.

Jurina smiles with cute, puppy eyes, and then for a moment, a bit of avarice flashes over her face, and the xenophobic MNET editors make sure to zoom in on her, while letting one of the other girls give her a defining caption:

Bombastic opera music plays -- will she take the seat? She has been ranked number one enough times in her other life that it seems kind of fitting. But no. She ends up sitting down in a normal chair, interviewing that she didn’t have the courage. I don’t remember who sat in the number one seat and am starting to think it might just be whoever walks in last at this point.

I feel like I could write a whole sociological paper about the difference between girl seasons of this show and boy seasons of this show and their approach to the Number One Chair. Girls eye it but don’t like to sit on it because it marks them as greedy and makes them unpopular. Boys fight over it, either physically with arm wrestling or via skill displays, like rutting caribou. It’s really interesting.

Interlude! They’re all hungry. Juri shows off more of her Korean skills. The other girls at least know how to say the names of food and are building friendship off of a shared love of eating. Hey, that’s how you make friends with a cat or dog so it works for me. Food!

Here’s the RBW girls, who you might recognize:

Na Go Eun (나고은), in the “Respect” shirt, age 18. She is now a main vocalist of PurpleKiss.

Park Ji Eun (박지은), in the red striped shirt, age 20. She debuted in PurpleKiss but left due to an anxiety condition. Aww! Poor sweetie. Hope she’s doing ok these days.

The girls are excited for Banana Culture, partly because they’re hungry and want to eat bananas, and partly because it’s home to EXID, a group I’ve always liked too.

Out come the two Banana Culture girls, who sit down immediately:

Kim Da Hye (김다혜), on the left with black accents, who I think is 16 (but reports vary).

Kim Na Young(김나영), 15, on the right with red accents, who you may now recognize as a member of Lightsum.

Next is Woolim, and the other trainees are impressed. They should be! Check out these four:

I know this screen shot is terrible, but I’m doing my best, folks.

Left to right, that’s:

Kim So Hee (김소희), 14, who is now in Rocket Punch.

Kim Chae Won (김채원), 17, who is now in Le Sserafim.

Kwon Eun Bi (권은비), 22, who is now a soloist.

Kim Su Yun (김수윤),17, who is now also in Rocket Punch, and who you may also recognize from going on Queendom puzzle. She’s 5’7, if you’re wondering.

I’m so excited to see Sohee and Suyun meet Juri! And for Chaewon and THE SAKURA™ and Yunjin to all meet each other! This is going to be so cute.

And here’s WM Entertainment:

Left to right, that’s:

Cho Yeong In (조영인), age 16.

Lee Chae Yeon (이채연), age 18. Before this she was on Sixteen, the show that created Twice, and after this she will, among other things, make a brief appearance on Queendom Puzzle. She’s also the older sister of Itzy’s Chaeryeong, and they have a strong family resemblance. Everyone is pretty impressed by her, and I’m sure she’s glad about that.

Lee Seung Hyeon (이승현), age 17. Ok, if you watched Queendom Puzzle, I dare you to try to recognize Seung Hyeon. Do you know who she is? Picture her with chin length hair. Hold your finger up to the screen and really try. Ok, give up?

That’s Riina from H1-Key! I would have never guessed. I wonder if Chaeyeon recognized her on Queendom Puzzle? I wonder if she voted her up or down? Chaeyeon does seem to sort of do her own thing. Love how the show never mentioned that they knew each other.

It’s time for the Fukuoka-based HKT48 girls to enter, and their black logo prompts Million Market’s Son Eun Chae (손은채), 18, future member of Bugaboo, to comment to her label mate Cho Sa Rang (조사랑), 14, that black is her favorite color. Sarang replies, “Our faces must look black by now,” cracking Eunchae up. Aw, I like them.

The other Japanese girls are excited, because they know that soon they will be seeing…. THE SAKURA™. Her name means cherry blossom, and she wants cherry blossoms to blossom in your cherry. I mean heart. Whatever.

It’s always so odd to me the way that certain girls are picked out as stunningly beautiful, when to me they’re all pretty. It feels so random. Why is THE SAKURA™specifically the most beautiful? It’s like in Red Velvet. I think Seulgi and Wendy are every bit as pretty as Irene, maybe prettier. But what do I know? Also, I probably ranted about this exact same thing in one of my BP recaps. Anyway, Jo Yuri tells her labelmate Sian, “I made eye contact with Sakura and I almost fainted.” Ok, Jo Yuri is growing on me.

Everyone thinks everyone else is pretty, and cool, and cute, and intimidating. We check in again with Sarang and Eunchae, who seem to be having a fun time.

Who will be last to walk in? YG’s logo pops up on screen, shocking everyone, including our polka dotted friends from HOW Entertainment, one of whom is in the process of administering eye drops to another one when the logo pops up. YG? WUT? But no -- these are *former* YG trainees. Now, they’re here as “kaein yeonshipsaeng” -- individual trainees. Trainer-less trainees. Just… -ees. They walk out to strains of “I am the Best” by 2NE1, a song whose video I still watch whenever I need a pick-me-up.

Park Jinny (박진희), 20, with dark hair, now a member of Secret Number.

Park Seo Young (박서영), 19, with light hair.

We cut back to an interview that must have taken place some time before taping began, when Seoyeong had brown hair. We find out that Seoyeoung was in the famous “Future 2NE1” video and both of them traineed with Blackpink. They’re here to make you wonder why YG let them go.

There are only two chairs left -- the #1 seat and the #96 seat. The now-blonde Seoyeong plunks down on the number one seat and everyone applauds. When I watched it the first time, I thought even at the time that there wasn’t much chance of her making it after that. You just can’t sit in that seat and make it in to the final lineup. I’m with Yunjin, who says, “If that was the only seat left, I’d sit on the floor.” Yep.

35:10 Somi and Daniel

Two figures emerge and the girls go nuts as they recognize everyone’s favorites, Jeon Somi (ranked #1 on PD101 Season 1) and Kang Daniel (ranked #1 on PD101 Season 2). I’m happy to see them, though I’ll note that they’re both capable of looking a lot better than they do here. I’ll blame their hair -- they were both born to be honey blondes, even if it wasn’t in their DNA.

Must be kind of weird for Chaeyeong to see Somi again after they both competed on Sixteen together. But there are always all those ties amongst idols and trainees.

Somi and Daniel talk about how only viewer votes will matter here. They don’t know that this is a lie, of course. Vote rigging was absolutely a thing on all four seasons of PD101. But we’ll talk about that later.

The reality sets in for the trainees -- they’re really on PD101! Or PD48, whatever you want to call it. S&D talk about how only the top producers will work with them, how they’ll debut in Korea and Japan at the same time -- this will be big. They talk about the specific producers, who have worked with some top groups, but the names of the producers don’t ring bells for me and likely won’t for you, either: Han Sung Soo, who writes kpop hits, and Akimoto Yasushi, the creepy old dude who created AKB48 and writes their most misogynistic lyrics. Great. I am just going to call him “Gross Guy” from now on.

The girls find out that 12 of them will debut in the final lineup, which is great news, because now it’s a 1 in 8 chance of getting in. (Well, it’s a 100% chance for those whose agencies paid enough money!) Why couldn’t Kep1er and ZB1 have had 12 members? Then Park Hanbin would have been in ZB1 and I’m not sure who else would have been in Kep1er but I know it would have been great. Maybe Fu Yaning, who I will always love and hear no words against.

Anyway.

Say goodbye to Somi and Daniel because we don't see them again after this. It's time for the judges to come out! And that's what we'll pick up with next time, when we recap the first ten auditions!

#produce 48 #IZ*one #Jeon Somi #Kang Daniel #Lee Chaeyeong #Le Sserafim #IVE #BPR recaps P48 #Sakura #akb48 #rocket punch

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