#PUNCHLINES

[consistantly-changing]

Happy 10th birthday to the no punchline punchline

A guy is taking his girlfriend to prom. He waits in the ticket line for a really long time but gets them. He goes to rent a limo. The rental line is really long but he eventually does it. He goes to buy her flowers. The line at the florist is really long but eventually he gets the flowers. At prom, she asks him to go get punch. He goes to the refreshment table and there’s no punchline.

[werewolfetone]

[cavettrobert]

This girl (AI Facsimile) nails the art of grace—with a splash of comic honesty!

[reloha]

For everyone saying I thought this was about AI (ai), the first part is that way on purpose. Weird Al is the punchline. If you’re all trolling in the replies, though, you’re doing great.

I am SICK and TIRED of seeing so much hate towards Al! Al hasn't done ANYTHING to hurt ANYONE! Al is harmless!

But I can already hear the Al haters out there!

"Al isn't original!" No shit, Sherlock! That's what we love the most about Al.

"People aren't supposed to look like that!" That sounds like a problem between you and God, and frankly, plenty of people like the way Al looks.

"Al is just too WEIRD!" Have you ever thought that you might be to NORMAL to actually appreciate Al?

I think you all need to apologize to Al right now!

APOLOGIZE TO HIM

APOLOGIZE TO WEIRD AL RIGHT NOW!

[chroniquesdiverses]

Qui est (vraiment) Jean-Luc Mélenchon ?

Le sulfureux Jean-Luc Mélenchon fait encore parler de lui ! Ah, Jean-Luc ! Le nom seul évoque des images de tribunes enflammées, de punchlines acérées et… de tweets qui font trembler la Twittosphère. Mais qui se cache derrière cette figure politique haute en couleur ? Est-il un tribun visionnaire, un stratège machiavélique, ou simplement un collectionneur de chemises rouges ? Jean-Luc…

[cleverlasting]

read all 3 verses here: https://genius.com/Clyde-cyrus-lose-my-mind-lyrics

[lumsel]

"The prophecy was unambiguous and immutable."

"I know."

"No weapon forged on Earth could defeat the Lord Baarthus"

"I know."

"And yet here we are, you telling me, Lord Baarthus was struck down by the Peasant King. Wielding... just a regular sword. Forged on Earth."

"I know what I saw, okay! The Peasant King walked up to him, shoved the sword in his neck, and then just kept going. It was nasty!"

"Okay, okay, fine. Clearly what's happened here is there's some kind of loophole in the prophecy that enabled this. Happens all the time. No weapon forged on Earth... How sure are you that sword is of this world?"

"What do you take me for? I've done my research. Even tracked down, interviewed the original blacksmith."

"There must be something. Prophecies can't be wrong!"

"I mean... I didn't take stock of her inventory. If it was one of those meteorite swords..."

"No, no. The prophecy didn't say 'No weapon with parts sourced on Earth'. It was pretty specific about the Forging."

"I don't hear anything better coming from you!"

"How about this. What if it wasn't a weapon? The Peasant King... it'd only be fitting for him to slay the Dark Lord with a blade meant for peasantry! Not a weapon, but a farming tool, like a scythe, or a really long trowel--!"

"A long trowel?? It looked like a damn sword!"

"That doesn't mean anything! A ritzy, college-educated diviner like you, you wouldn't know a trowel from a ploughshare!"

"It had a hilt, and a pommel, and it went in a scabbard-- come on! Even if it was some kind of-- newfangled grass cutter I've never heard of, it was used as a weapon, and it was forged to be a weapon! I've seen the ledgers!"

"Clearly you screwed something up, madam, because the Lord Baarthus just got sliced up like an old dairy cow and the prophecy very clearly specifies the only instrument that could bring his end is--!! Oh. Ohhh. Oh, gods damn it."

"What?"

"Fucking... 'forged on earth'."

"Yes, and?"

"It wasn't forged on earth. It was forged on a fucking anvil."

"What? No, you're-- you're joking. That wouldn't-- that couldn't-- what weapon would be forged on earth, by that definition!!?"

"I hate prophecies so much..."

[yuriartillery]

[while tied up] randomness and chaos as they're constructed in the popular imagination are actually quite predictable, doubly so if they're positioned as something desirable within a subculture or niche. it is an aesthetic of the unexpected, of transgression. real chaos is unremarkable and nearly invisible most of the time

[calicorobin]

beanbag chair psychology

[zomb13s]

The Evolution and Impact of Rhyme Writing: From Ancient Times to Modern Street Knowledge in Rap Poetry

A cold winter Passing knowledge gained from the universe’s centerIn this holy land only the worthy can enterCommanding armies for the pleasure of gaining treasureIt’s in G.O.D.’s hand that will relieve the pressure forever Praying to allahPraying to Jesus and Mohamed and praising JahWe’re blessed to share the sacrament togetherPace your self and act more cleverThe politicians are holding the…

[spacefighter413]

if a number divided by itself is always equal to 1, surely this holds true for 0/0 as well

[indigonite]

it’s a spider thing 🕸️🕷️

[mynnthia]

was talking with a friend about how some of dunmeshi fаndom misunderstands kabru's initial feelings towards laios.

to sum up kabru's situation via a self-contained modernized metaphor:

kabru is like a guy who lost his entire family in a highly traumatic car accident. years later he joins a discord server and takes note of laios, another server member who seems interesting, so they start chatting. then laios reveals his special interest and favorite movie of all time is David Cronenberg's Crash (1996), and invites kabru to go watch a demolition derby with him

[brandirecognition]

shadow at home

[valtsv]

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

The squad of all time has arrived on scene.